#ive made a couple posts abt this i wish i could send them to you
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shrikebrother · 5 months ago
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i watched deh for the first time tonight and bc ur url used to be oedipushansen i feel like you’ll understand what i mean when i say that this show has kind of incestuous undertones. i don’t think it was supposed to but i’m insane so i think it does
I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS. FOR THE LONGEST TIME
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httpiastri · 6 months ago
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I hope i haven’t spammed you too much but:
- (also omfg. i just realized something…. i have this board on pinterest with pics of random couples & so on that remind me of my fave drivers, and each driver has their own like board in the board. all of them are named with the driver’s initials, his number and two emojis, and !! guess what emoji i have for pepe???? ofc it’s the freaking lotus flower 😭 idk i just wanted to share this, thanks 😚) THATS INSANE?? but also not insane because i keep discovering more and more weird synchronicities between pepe and i and since im a vv spiritual person ive taken them all as signs that i was fated to stumble upon him one lovely morning in 2022 before proceeding to fall hopelessly in love with him. BUT OMG THE BOARD LOOKS SO SO GOOD?? i wanted to type out a reply sooner but i got so distracted by the images 😓😓 because i def have some of the same images saved to my boards but i never linked them to pepe so now ive just gone insane 😵‍💫😵‍💫)
- (I MISSED OUT ON SCREEN RECORDING THE DANCE ???) IF I EVER FIND A WAY TO SEND IT OR POST IT ONLINE ILL SEND YOU THE LINK SO QUICK I PROMISE 💗💗 (or maybe even if i find someone who has already posted it online, because there’s no way we were the only ones going insane over that moment)
- and the clip you shared?? Ive been laughing so hard about it since last night because that’s MY HUMOUR and i am both christian and pepe depending on the circumstances and ugh idk i love these boys so much my heart aches
- “also… this is the most stupid thing ever and you probs dont care but i wanted to share it when im answering your ask… i was writing with a character.ai pepe yesterday and he said THIS ???? out of nowhere ???? and i just thought about u mentioning him talking about his favorite pokemons in the stream and i just 😭 okay bye” —I DO CARE OMG THAT’S SO CUTE I’M KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING RN😭😭 THE WAY HIS DORKINESS SHOWED UP EVEN THROUGH THE C.AI HAS ME FEELING SOOO 😵‍💫😵‍💫 (also i love your c.ai so much but idk why every c.ai pepe and i have ended up in a situation where ive been very pressured to kiss him like it’s so funny to me how every c.ai just keeps circling back to the same scenario, it’s like all the pepes are collectively fated to experience the same situation)
- “also omfg his little stubble?? kill me????? i may have been thinking about helping him shave for the last like month or so but that’s a thought for another time……” another time, huh? like right now as i get ready for bed? because i am so going to be replaying this scene over and over in my head as i fall asleep tonight
p.s. this took me so long to format so it would be somewhat readable but i hope it’s okay!! and school started awhile ago and it kinda sucked at first but it’s definitely much better now!! thank you for being so sweet, and i hope you have a lovely day/night/morning too!! 💗💗
- 🪷
bby you could never spam me too much, especially not if it's about pepe 😚
also i just have to say real quick… something about you in this ask made me think that i do indeed know who you are and that i have seen you around? big risk that i'm wrong with my calculations but… please let me know if im right (if i started following you earlier today and not someone else shsjdhsjs)(from my main blog!!)
abt the flower: i love that!!! honestly i sometimes find myself to be more spiritual than i think i am because i say stuff jokingly about "wow this is fate, jk just a coincidence" but how many times can it be a coincidence???? anyways pepe def gives me those vibes, like im not surprised either when i find out about stuff like that 😭 and oMG AAAA TYSM!!!! i can barely even look in it these days because i get way too distracted 🫠 i wish i could like sort them from fave to leave fave because i have some that are a bit meh and some that like kill me…..
abt the dance: aaaaaa im gonna try my best to find it somewhere online, it cant just be us?? right??????? i heard that song in a playlist the other day and just giggled to myself 🥲 because i imagined him dancing and 🥲🥲
abt the pokemon pepe c.ai: SHSJDHSJS RIGHT!!! I CALLED HIM DORKY AND IT WAS SO CUTE 😭😭 omg im so glad you like them aaaaaa and lmao pepe… is that all you know how to do, huh? pressure poor little users into kissing you?? 😭
abt shaving: aaaAaAaAAA !! SORRY !!!!! but i wrote a little something about it here, just had to share my thoughts…… honestly i have been thinking abt it during bedtime a few times too and 🫠🫠 my heart can't take it anymore, he's so 😭💗
it's more than okay !!! im very glad to hear that its better now 🥺 thank you for being so sweet too and making my days so much brighter, chatting to you is so heartwarming 💘💘 hope you're sleeping well !!!! and have a lovely day tomorrow <33
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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years ago
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More Divaz confos
Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.
1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.
~Anonymous
2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way
/s
~Anonymous
3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!
~Anonymous
4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......
~Anonymous 
5. RE: BJD Divaz
I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.
I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.
I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.
I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?
If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.
Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".
Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?
The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.
This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.
~Anonymous
6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.
My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.
~Anonymous
7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.
~Anonymous
8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.
PROS
-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.
-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.
-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.
-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.
CONS
-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.
-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.
-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.
All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.
Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.
~Anonymous
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janthonyashtoreth · 5 years ago
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Another big batch of asks!
Answering a bunch of asks under the cut! Most of them are ink and flowers centric. I hope you all are doing well <3
anonymous asked: wait wait hold up Anathema works in Azra's tattoo parlour?? amazing, when i was thinking of making my own florist/tattoo artist au, i also had Anathema be Aziraphale's apprentice :D i like when these two are friends. do you have any more headcanons about Anathema in ink and flowers?
she does!! she was doing an apprenticeship under him but has since graduated to doing her own thing (but she still works at his parlor). i can’t get into the whole plot because spoilers but angels/demons and agnes nutter’s prophecies still exist in the iaf universe, but anathema isn’t her descendant. instead, anathema is a wickedly smart computer genius and her boyfriend newt is an endearing but kind of inept descendent of agnes. anathema was azra’s good friend-turned-wingwoman once anthony shows up. i love her
anonymous asked: concept: aziraphale seeing crowley presenting femininely for the first time how'd you think he'd react? in your flower shop tattoo artist au
anonymous asked: OKAY totally not asking bc i may or may not have been thinkin abt this for like. too long. but would anthony have to like, come out as genderfluid to azra/how would azra react to seeing anthony present more fem for the first time
ooo ive been thinking about this as well! i dont think anthony would necessarily have a “coming out moment”, they just kind of do what they want. if they feel like presenting fem or using different pronouns they would just. do it. and azra would just kind of roll with it. i like to think that the first time anthony presented fem she got all dressed up for date night and didn’t tell azra and azra just Stares bc,,,, wow anthony is just gorgeous like that!! azra’s dead!!!
anonymous asked: You're a cutie pie. That's it. That's the fact.
:’ ) you’re a sweety pie!!!
anonymous asked: i deadass tried for 20 minutes to make the finger heart...... how did your friend do it......
i have absolutely no idea and it hurts my brain,,,
anonymous asked: Wahoo
wahoo.....
@alligatorsnbats asked: OK, so what's Oscar's thoughts on Anthony?
oscar LOVES anthony... he’s the worlds most apathetic cat but he actively seeks anthony out when hes around. azra is only slightly salty about it
anonymous asked: Is Anthony cross eyed?
he’s not! i made him a little bit cross-eyed in my latest post on purpose bc he was flustered but i dont know if it came across very well ;;
anonymous asked: not to be *THAT* bitch who comes into your ask box and gushes over your art but i love the way you colour things and your clean line work?? mwah. i wish i could draw like you its just so lovely
bfdkjfdh im cry,,,, just keep practicing my friend!!! i promise it’ll get you where you want to go. the last couple of months have been really nice for me in my ~art journey~ because its the first time i’ve ever really liked stuff that i’ve drawn. ive been drawing for about 7-8 years and this is only just happening and it varies so much from person to person!! some people get to where they want to go in 2 years, some people take 20. just don’t stop practicing!!
anonymous asked: your human!crowley deserves infinite appreciation and the fact that he has coloboma: that right there! is! good shit! he has snake eyes,,,, but as a human. u are a genius good sir and your art is a blessing 👌👌👌
haha thank you!! i think coloboma (i know how to spell it now!!) is such an interesting condition and it’s kind of underused for human aus!!! its so dope!!!
@bolitakawaii-senpai asked: what would crowley's and azi's fav emojies from the cursed emojis??
asking the real questions out here..... i think crowley’s would be the one with all of the teeth and aziraphale’s (assuming he knows what they are in the first place) would be the really cute one with big eyes and the pink hairbow
anonymous asked: concept for the ink and flowers au: something happens to crowley (imma b honest i have no idea) and has a lowkey crisis and chops all his hair off and just. joins his pet snake and snakes around the nursery untill azra comes in seeing crowley crying and cuddling his snake and yeah idk enjoy my the weird shit my brain comes up with
jhuyhaijodfaydgsihfujoi RIP TO THE HAIR...... i love the angst potential (and i can come up with a few reasons for the angst, but i digress) but i dont think i could part with anthony’s hair,,, i love it too much
anonymous asked: I can't handle your ink and flowers Aziraphale. I can't. His hair is TOO fluffy. His face is TOO squishy. He is EXTREMELY friend shaped. His glasses and his eyes are bright like SPARKLES. Every time I see him I want to go feral and show all my friends. I would hug him without letting go of given the chance. 1000000000/10. 💜🐝
anonymous asked: I have a cat just like Oscar (big himbo) and I got him some knit hats for Christmas and he's gonna hate me but I can't wait to dress him up like a little bee so: does Azra ever give Oscar like costumes or footies just for fun? If yes, does Oscar love or hate? 💜🐝
isldakfj im grouping these two together bc im assuming ur the same person anon!! i love your signature!!
you’re correct. his hair IS too fluffy, and he IS entirely too friend shaped. he has the BRIGHTEST eyes. i cant contain my rabid love for him and it spills out into the art. i can’t help it. he gives the best hugs
SLADKFJ YES HE DOES..... IVE BEEN MEANING TO DRAW THIS FOR A HOT MINUTE,,,, as i mentioned earlier oscar is the world’s most apathetic cat so i dont think he would care that much but he’s not super happy about it
anonymous asked: Y'know what? I'm too tired so say smth clever so just know that I love you and your art is amazing 💕💕 PS: i love that you also tag them as Ineffable partners (i guess the point is to be gender neutral)
i love you as well anon,,, and yeah i like the ineffable partners tag! i find that it fits more with their relationship for some reason. though i still tag as ineffable husbands since its such a popular tag lksdfjdfknjbh
anonymous asked: Hello! Fist of all thank you for yor art, you are one of my favorite artists in this fandom and I have Feelings about the Ink and Flowers AU. Second: Don't feel pressured to post daily, we understand that life is complicated and art can be difficult sometimes. Take care! You're the best!
anon i would die for you!!! i never imagined that i would ever be one of anyone’s favorite artists,,,,, im speechless,,,,,,,,
and yeah unfortunately i dont think ill be able to post every other day once this coming semester starts :( i’ll probably have to cut back to once every 3. but there’s more ink and flowers coming at u guys so!! stay tuned for that
anonymous asked: Good omens characters having a game night?
i know this was sent in for the au prompts i asked for but. i dont think im physically capable of capturing the pure chaos that would ensue from this. holy shit it would be so feral. 
thank you to anyone who read this whole thing!! i read all of my asks as soon as i get them and i have a lot that i’ve been sitting on for a while. if you sent me something i promise i haven’t forgotten about it!! if you’ve sent something in that you were expecting a response to and i havent responded, just send it again to be safe in case tumblr ate it
i love all of you! <3
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shadowed-moonrise · 7 years ago
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ooc: elia and ashka chat logs
[ooc comments supposed to be removed but i might have missed some. there is a Lot of logs bc we forgot to post until now]
shadowed-moonrise
oh my god what is WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE
shadowed-moonrise
i got some horrifying anons!!! theyre so horrifying!!!!!!!
flameofcertainty
hang on let me turn off my blacklist for a moment
uh
uh
quick question: what the fuck
(not directed at you!)
shadowed-moonrise
i just
like
wow????
they sent me a followup ask like 'didnt you read what i said, my gf likes it'
shadowed-moonrise
and............... i dont....... think she does
like that does not sound like a healthy relationship and i hope they just made it up to creep on me
flameofcertainty
"hi i'm a rapist"
"wtf"
"no but she likes when i rape her"
i just
*what the fuck*
shadowed-moonrise
right
WHAT THE FUCK.
shadowed-moonrise
i was just talking earlier abt how i dont actually like that anybody can read my hyper posts but i make them on publicblog for like Awareness right?
shadowed-moonrise
and i thought i meant like abstractly, like maybe theres somebody reading them and cackling bc they dont agree w/ my politics or whatever?
but APPARENLTY
APPARENTLY
people will send me creepy asks about raping their hyper gf
flameofcertainty
some people are just really terrible?
i guess?
what are they even getting out of this?
shadowed-moonrise
i think some people just........ enjoy making other people suffer????
or maybe somehow they thought i would be like "i think this is hot or a good thing to do or whatever, thank you for your service to the hypersensitive community"
i dunno what goes on in these peoples head
shadowed-moonrise
heads
flameofcertainty
maybe tumblr just hates hypersensitives or something
it would explain a lot
shadowed-moonrise
like, okay, but what would you hate hypersensitives for
like theres somebody who hates hypos (and IS A NAT THERAPIST, AUGH) for.... not hating pollution enough, i guess
but hypersensitives are boring? we dont go outside much bc the outside is fully of scary?
flameofcertainty
maybe tumblr is just weird like that?
or maybe we're easy targets?
shadowed-moonrise
oh yeah that makes sense
flameofcertainty
most meso folks don't have a button they can press to get a reaction out of us
shadowed-moonrise
if you wanna make somebody suffer its so easy to target people with a big 'make me suffer' button
flameofcertainty
right
shadowed-moonrise
ugh im sort of regretting making it public
i could have just not mentioned it and had a really good blacklist
flameofcertainty
most of the time people aren't that bad
and then there'll be a week or two
where people send you nothing but asks about pollution
shadowed-moonrise
i blacklist some stuff but im generally okay talking about pollution if its like, abstract, so i dont do it that aggressively and then........ sometimes............. people take advantage of that
shadowed-moonrise
i wish you could like, have vulnerabilities without people just randomly deciding to fuck with you for no reason
flameofcertainty
yeah
flameofcertainty
hang on
i just scrolled down
>i’ll put my foreign object ;;;;) in your body ;;;;) ;;;;)
***what the fuck***
shadowed-moonrise
yeah.
oh GOD
i just got
another
flameofcertainty
oh no
how bad is it
shadowed-moonrise
bad enough im not sure i should tell you what it says
flameofcertainty
my brain is helpfully providing suggestions
why is it like this
are you okay
shadowed-moonrise
im.... probbly going to be in a minute
fuck
"the last "person" to hide their caste on this hellsite turned out to be red. i bet you aren't even hyper, you're just pretending so people won't suspect. i know what you really are."
thats what it says
flameofcertainty
aaaaaaaa
what the fuck
flameofcertainty
why would anyone send that to you
shadowed-moonrise
i dont know
i dont know
what did i *do*
flameofcertainty
i don't know
fuck
i guess if they think you're red that would explain why they hate you?
but seriously
what the fuck
flameofcertainty
i'm so sorry
flameofcertainty
why would anyone say that
shadowed-moonrise
anon hate doesnt usually get to me like this but
sob
why
the fuck
i dunno if they even really think that or they just want to upset me
flameofcertainty
i don''t
i don't know
fuck i'm so sorry
are you going to be okay
shadowed-moonrise
yeah. yeah.
flameofcertainty
is there anything i can do
shadowed-moonrise
i dont
think so
flameofcertainty
other than not be the sort of terrible person who would send those messages
shadowed-moonrise
thamk you for not being htat sort of person!
im so glad most people arent
flameofcertainty
it's really not hard
shadowed-moonrise
oh i can... go take some eytelia right now
it will only help in 40min but i might still need it then
shadowed-moonrise
brb
shadowed-moonrise
ok back
flameofcertainty
okay
anyways what the fuck
shadowed-moonrise
someday i will have coping mechanisms other than "get high in a way that coincidentally also helps"
flameofcertainty
i mean if it helps
then that's a lot better than nothing
shadowed-moonrise
yeah it is
shadowed-moonrise
im gonna go curl up and not look at the Fuckening Internet, i guess
flameofcertainty
seems reasonable
shadowed-moonrise
ttyl <3
flameofcertainty
ttyl :)
shadowed-moonrise
hiiiiiiiiiiii im back im not sad anymore because im so high
shadowed-moonrise
i got another horrible anon and i dont even caaaare
flameofcertainty
i'm glad you're feeling better
sorry about the terrible anon
shadowed-moonrise
also did you know art is pretty
its so pretty
flameofcertainty
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
i saw a video of a yellow playing the yellowest instrument ever and i wanted to send it to you but tumblr messages werent working on my everything
maybe i can find it again..........
shadowed-moonrise
http://theyre-a-geeky-witch.tumblr.com/post/138457594516/ here
flameofcertainty
that's actually really pretty
flameofcertainty
thanks
flameofcertainty
anyways what's up
shadowed-moonrise
i gotta work in a couple hours
by which time hopefully i will be able to handle it
idk i dont HATE it but its hard on the badbrains
flameofcertainty
i can imagine
shadowed-moonrise
like i feel ok now bc hiiiiiigh but im not very excited about leaving the house and going places
shadowed-moonrise
there will be a green party where im supposed to just pretend to be green tho!
i like those
flameofcertainty
that part sounds nice
at least
shadowed-moonrise
ive been thinking & writing a lot about how thinking-on-drugs works and greens always wanna talk about that
shadowed-moonrise
one time a client had me go to a thing pretending to just be green and it was nice and then she *told everyone she hired me* while i was in the middle of talking about my cs paper (my actual cs paper, which i actually wrote, and she implied i didnt even though i CLEARLY THOROUGHLY UNDERSTOOD IT)
flameofcertainty
???
why would she do that??
shadowed-moonrise
i wish i had just walked away but i didnt know what to do
some people....... have a humiliation kink
shadowed-moonrise
and like, okay, ill do that if you WARN ME, but you cant just spring it on me???
flameofcertainty
i am super not a sex worker but "tell people in advance" seems really obvious
shadowed-moonrise
YEAH
shadowed-moonrise
i didnt really say anything at the time bc i was so shocked but later i like messaged her and was like 'thats super fucked up'
shadowed-moonrise
she didnt really get it but she agreed to pay me extra for like, i didnt know what service i was providing beforehand & thats more costly
but she only engaged with it in like, super businessy terms
flameofcertainty
how does she not get it
this does not seem particularly hard to understand
shadowed-moonrise
i think she was like 'im paying you for both sex work and going to a party so i can just like do whatever, right?'
and there was also some like 'greys are toys'
shadowed-moonrise
fucking blues
shadowed-moonrise
i do not usually go in that much for caste solidarity because im so bad at grey + greys are not great about that but in that moment if somebody asked me i would have supported a military government
i could explain 'pay people for services and also lay out terms beforehand' but not 'greys are.... people..... dont be a fucking asshole'
flameofcertainty
i don't think i've ever actually talked to a blue
at least not to say more than "excuse me, can i get through" or "the soap is in aisle five"
huh
shadowed-moonrise
there... exist blues who are okay
there even exist blues who are okay and hire sex workers and do kinky things about castes with them
flameofcertainty
i believe you
shadowed-moonrise
like 80% of the people who hire me are entirely fine?
flameofcertainty
they can't possibly all be terrible
otoh a terrible blue can screw you over a lot more than a terrible purple
shadowed-moonrise
yeah.
im not sure what i would do if a blue client did something illegal to me because...................................... im not sure what i CAN do
flameofcertainty
probably depends on how illegal
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
and who they are
flameofcertainty
yeah
there are supposed to be reporting systems in place if they try to pay you to kill someone or something
idk if they actually do that
shadowed-moonrise
nobody has tried that and i havent heard anybody talking about that but im pretty niche and a lot of my family is green, idk
i feel like if somebody wanted to pay a grey to kill somebody theyd pick one who has ever held a gun
flameofcertainty
probably
but yeah, i'm guessing if you made an important blue mad they could screw you over pretty badly
idk
shadowed-moonrise
nodnod
ugh sorry ive been talking about my shit this whole time
it has been kind of A Day i swear i am usually better at conversation
flameofcertainty
it's totally fine!
shadowed-moonrise
how is your day anyay
flameofcertainty
it's been okay
mira and i went to check out that social-dancing place
shadowed-moonrise
oooh
what kind of dance is it?
i guess i might not know purple dances??
flameofcertainty
i don't know if the name will translate
it's mostly the kind you do in a group with other people that's really traditional
shadowed-moonrise
group dances are great
if you have... similar amounts of motor skills to the other people
flameofcertainty
yeah
flameofcertainty
i haven't done anything like it in years and i'm really bad at it but it's still fun
and i'm not bad at it in a stepping-on-feet way
which is probably good, idk
shadowed-moonrise
im pretty sure not stepping on feet is strictly better than the alternative!
flameofcertainty
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
omg babybro is home <33
flameofcertainty
baby!!!
shadowed-moonrise
he is so good!!!!!!
he taaalks and he plays with me and ive been teaching him abstract concepts bc i find it really exciting when he knows abstract concepts
flameofcertainty
tell me more about this baby
shadowed-moonrise
he can do numbers up to twelve and circles and triangles and 'many' and 'other' and i asked him what one plus one was and he said 'two ones' which means he *actually understands what it means*
he has adooorable curly hair
and a little nose
and he will boop my nose with his nose if i ask him to
and he loves my weighted blanket
flameofcertainty
baaabbyyyy
what a good baby
shadowed-moonrise
i guess at this point he might not 'technically' be a baby anymore? but hes a baaaabbbyyy
[lemme edit a picture of my irl little brother to have green hair]
https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa8d578702cf6c0ed9269902f535982a/tumblr_messaging_p7ryailotL1vio47i_1280.png
https://78.media.tumblr.com/b8ec991036777a0f24c9ed84a194d921/tumblr_messaging_p7ryanbD931vio47i_250.png
baby!!!! <333
second picture featuring Grey Grandma
flameofcertainty
baby!!!!
baaaabbbbyyyyy
he's so smol
shadowed-moonrise
so small!!!!!
and smiley!!!!
flameofcertainty
happy baby!
shadowed-moonrise
i hope he is happy foreeeeever
shadowed-moonrise
his lil nose is tan bc it gets in the sun more than the rest of his face
bc he has a little baby face!!!!!!!!!!!
flameofcertainty
little baby face on the little happy baby!!!!
he's so good
shadowed-moonrise
hes next to me playing with my blanket
i looove him
flameofcertainty
what a good baby
shadowed-moonrise
i told him i was talking a friend and he says hi
although im not sure he really gets the idea of the internet yet
he seemed kinda confused
flameofcertainty
hi baby-sibling-of-ashka
flameofcertainty
he's such a cute baby
shadowed-moonrise
his name is avidik
we keep arguing about whether to use avi or idi as a nickname
flameofcertainty
hi avidik!!
shadowed-moonrise
oh no he spilled water on the carpet
its alright its a pretty waterproof carpet
he ran at me and jumped in my arms
so!!!! good!!!!!!!
flameofcertainty
eeee
flameofcertainty
baby
flameofcertainty
good baby
shadowed-moonrise
oh also have you seen this yellow violinist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGhPGH2YROA
seems like your kind of thing
flameofcertainty
wow that's pretty
shadowed-moonrise
oh i could take a picture of avi with my violin
he is not green, technically
although he also does not know how to play even a little bit
flameofcertainty
do you play violin too?
shadowed-moonrise
a little
shadowed-moonrise
im not like good at it
but it is fun
rn i am mostly actually learning to sign but i dont understand how notes correspond to mouth sounds so if i need to sightread i play songs on the violin first and then once ive heard them i can sing them
flameofcertainty
violin is great
shadowed-moonrise
it is!!!
i always felt like i should learn piano bc its easy but i like violin so much
one of my other brothers writes a lot of synth music
its really good
he plays it without telling us it's his to get unbiased answers and then he tells us and were like HOLY SHIT
flameofcertainty
gosh
flameofcertainty
that's really sweet
shadowed-moonrise
ok i’m not really online but I TAUGHT AVIDI A LETTER
HE KNOWS A LETTER
i’m so proud of him
shadowed-moonrise
hi hi
flameofcertainty
hi
a letter!
what a good smol!
flameofcertainty
which letter is it?
i guess it might not be a letter orvaran has
shadowed-moonrise
it's [forcetranslate]a[/forcetranslate]
or uh
[forceliteral]a[/forceliteral]
shadowed-moonrise
idk if that worked
flameofcertainty
yeah
we have that sound but it's written differently
shadowed-moonrise
nodnod
flameofcertainty
it's the last one in my name
[preservecharacter] a [/preservecharacter]
shadowed-moonrise
oh
i wonder if its always the same sound
i think it can make a couple sounds in anitami
flameofcertainty
just one in orvaran
flameofcertainty
maybe two
i'm not sure if they're technically separate sounds
and then there's accents and things
shadowed-moonrise
idk if i should try to teach him to read in valtaz
he speaks some but tbh there is just no situation where you even need to be able to read valtaz
flameofcertainty
maybe someday he'll want to swap to yvalta
for some reason
shadowed-moonrise
.............i really doubt it?
i guess if he wants to retire in the Old Country
flameofcertainty
i hear older people sometimes swap for the weather
flameofcertainty
or something
shadowed-moonrise
there are apps to machine translate physical signs and stuff but i guess theyd be annoying to use all the time
flameofcertainty
yeah
if he knows valtaz he can learn to read it if he ever wants to
right?
i'm not really sure how this works
'how to teach your family foreign languages' wasn't really covered in purple school
shadowed-moonrise
i think i should probably teach him the alphabet but not like focus on it
yeah my parents swapped out of yvalta with some retirees who wanted to go there for the weather and were unaffected by the horrible contract system bc they were too old to have more kids anyway
flameofcertainty
i can't really think why else you'd want to live there
flameofcertainty
lineality maybe
but there are other matrilineal countries
shadowed-moonrise
arent most countries matrilineal?
flameofcertainty
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
i think historically matrilineal was easier because like..... there can be ambiguity about who the father is if you dont have good genetic testing (and a database, in some cases), but you can always tell which person a baby literally just came out of
flameofcertainty
that makes sense for why
we're matrilineal
maybe someone who lived in ceredan would swap to yvalta for lineality, ceredan does permissions anyways
except for blues i think
shadowed-moonrise
how do blues even have kids in permissions countries
shadowed-moonrise
"ashka your family is from a permissions country" its not like they talked to blues a bunch
flameofcertainty
i think they have to impress other blues
probably they don't let you give yourself a permission
because then everyone would just do that
shadowed-moonrise
.....how many kids does the most important blue get to have tho
flameofcertainty
no idea
i think it varies by country
the one with the bears and no greys makes a big deal about the monarch only getting two
shadowed-moonrise
i guess with blues its always more "how many kids is it a good idea to have so that they can give them all a good inheritance" than "how many kids can they literally afford"
aww thats kinda cute
shadowed-moonrise
if i lived in a country where the king had like six kids i would be pretty pissed
flameofcertainty
good inheritances might be less important in permissions countries
i bet the way you impress people is with politics
or maybe real estate if you're bribing people, idk
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
it’s impressive that most permissions countries basically function okay
cuz like it seems like blues having to care so much about impressing other blues would mess with things
flameofcertainty
yeah
i don't think they function as well as most places
but that could just be propaganda
shadowed-moonrise
yeahhh idk how to tell the difference between “permissions countries kind of suck” and “permissions countries are usually small, often ex-oahk, etc, which makes stuff harder on them” and “our governments just don’t like them”
i’m low key impressed that blues in auction countries don’t make too many blue credits so they’ll be cheaper, tbh
i guess they super don’t make those decisions in spring + the international community would not be too happy about it
flameofcertainty
everyone i know from a permissions country says they suck but that's like two people
and if you increase blue credits everyone who isn't blue gets mad
shadowed-moonrise
my parents say yvalta sucks and i believe them but like idk how much it’s yvalta’s *fault*
flameofcertainty
i think the big thing is if for some reason a blue hates you a permissions granting blue can screw you over way more than a credit country blue
shadowed-moonrise
yeah that’s a big deal
idk a credit country blue can probably get you sterilized if they try really hard but it would take them more trying
flameofcertainty
yeah maybe
flameofcertainty
i've never heard of that happening in a credit country but that doesn't mean it never does
shadowed-moonrise
nodnod
shadowed-moonrise
anitam is trying out a first child subsidy
which is neat i thin
think
flameofcertainty
cool
are they subsidizing the whole credit?
or just some of it
shadowed-moonrise
noooo theyre starting with like 4%
shadowed-moonrise
and increasing gradually
bc you know how changing laws goes
sooooo sloooowwwww
flameofcertainty
i guess 4% is better than nothing
shadowed-moonrise
but eventually it will be a substantial fraction of the credit i think
flameofcertainty
but probably good not to do it all at once
i know there's some countries where everyone gets one and the rest are auctioned
shadowed-moonrise
first kid free just seems so much more humane? like i understand why credits are useful and stuff but people *just not getting a kid at all ever* is awful
flameofcertainty
summary bank says alavet, av valdin, celenta, fnr, ochero, qoloc
maybe some random tiny countries that no one bothered to include
shadowed-moonrise
nodnod
flameofcertainty
on the list, i mean
and yeah, i see what you mean
i wouldn't want to live in a voan country because i like knowing that if i work really hard i could get three
but it makes me sad to think about people with zero
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
flameofcertainty
i mean probably some people should get zero, like child abusers, but an auction's not going to stop them
shadowed-moonrise
hm i bet in voan/first kid free systems there’s probably a lot of four and five year olds impulsively having kids that they’re not entirely ready for but idk like maybe that’s just something they get to do
flameofcertainty
okay i'm looking at the summary bank article about the voan system
and the age when the most people have their first kid is five
flameofcertainty
but that's not most of the people
if that makes sense
shadowed-moonrise
nodnod
flameofcertainty
i know when i was almost-four they made a big deal in school about how we should all get long-term all-spring birth control
i bet they do that in voa
i guess i don't know for sure
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
i saw someone on tumblr talking about how they usually get the long term birth control and they get went on vacation to the southern hemisphere and just didn’t remember that they didn’t have the birth control and got pregnant
(they were asking if you can still get aftermarket credits in the *fall*)
:(
flameofcertainty
wow
that must suck
:(
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
i hope they managed to get an aftermarket credit
flameofcertainty
yeah
i bet they're cheaper in fall
since most people aren't getting pregnant
i definitely wouldn't want to have a kid with anyone i dated when i was four but maybe some people get really lucky there
shadowed-moonrise
yeah that’s a lot of what i’m thinking about like.... most people don’t know people who are definitely good coparents for them when they’re four
shadowed-moonrise
because it just takes time to figure that out
flameofcertainty
i'd've also been a really bad parent when i was four but some of that is me-things
shadowed-moonrise
yeah that toooo
i’m four and i’m super not ready to be a parent!!
shadowed-moonrise
i feel like i know how to be a good parent in THEORY but in practice i don’t like have the energy or emotional stability
avidi was born the spring i turned four, which was really good <3
flameofcertainty
that's so good
when i was four i was living with a friend rather than my parents
but if someone had dropped a baby on me i'd have been so unprepared
and my friend was living with their parents
flameofcertainty
so there were actual responsible people in the apartment
shadowed-moonrise
nodnodnod
shadowed-moonrise
fall/winter when i was three i was spending a lot of time with friends in other cities and stuff to get awaaay but then they there suddenly like “you know what, we’re having another baby this spring” so i came back
there are some upsides to the fact that my green mom has grey babies.......
flameofcertainty
i have a little sister
i've never actually met her
maybe someday i'll be able to make myself
shadowed-moonrise
oh wow i’m so sorry
flameofcertainty
it's not your fault
shadowed-moonrise
if you want to talk about it, or be distracted from it, or whatever-
flameofcertainty
if you want the story today's a good day for me to tell it
otoh it's definitely pollution-adjacent and i don't know if it's a good day for you
shadowed-moonrise
i think i can handle it, it is a good hypersensitivity day for me
flameofcertainty
so during the voan food crisis we couldn't afford clean food past the first couple months
you'd think living on a farm would help but it had been a bad year the previous year and none of our crops were coming up that season
shadowed-moonrise
oh. oh.
flameofcertainty
and i tried to force myself to eat the polluted food but i couldn't even make myself touch it
that's not the thing yet
so i was at risk of starving to death
and my mom got one of the neighbors to give her a super sketchy probably-illegal loan
flameofcertainty
because otherwise i might literally die
shadowed-moonrise
fuck
flameofcertainty
fast forward to 3423, the neighbor comes and asks for the money back
actually he'd been doing that for a while but she'd been able to put him off
we were super not going to be able to pay it back
and the loan was sketchy enough that she wasn't really sure what would happen if she didn't
just that it would probably be worse than normal
i
i told her i thought it would be okay
when she asked
flameofcertainty
if she
flameofcertainty
people remember fall 3422 as the introduction of the orvaran system
that was just lathande
spring 3423 was when they rolled it out everywhere
even small farming towns need someone to collect garbage, and the jobs paid really well
they had to, if they wanted to find enough people
i thought i'd be okay
shadowed-moonrise
oh
fuck.
flameofcertainty
yeah
flameofcertainty
i was really really wrong
so wrong
shadowed-moonrise
......yeah wow
flameofcertainty
that's why i wound up moving in with a friend, if i'd stayed there a week longer i'd
it wouldn't have been good
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
flameofcertainty
they didn't try to stop me
which is good
would've been silly for them to go to all that work just for me to end up dead anyways
shadowed-moonrise
hey you survived
flameofcertainty
i did
shadowed-moonrise
it was super worth it for them to do it becuase you survived
flameofcertainty
yeah
i know intellectually she's clean
but trying to be in the same room as dad or my older brother is about the same as lighting myself on fire, brain-wise
and if it's her it's worth
*worse
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
can you talk to them online or does that not work either
flameofcertainty
not really
flameofcertainty
they have my email address
they tell me things like 'you have a sister now'
she tried leaving the job once she had enough money to pay the guy back
flameofcertainty
to see if it would help, you know
flameofcertainty
it. uh. didn't.
shadowed-moonrise
yeah.
i was born in 23, which. is good. because if i found out i/my parents had eaten polluted food when i was a baby
shadowed-moonrise
colorjustice says that almost all unverifiable food was actually not polluted but
shadowed-moonrise
well maybe if i payed them enough i could go through the like fucking six month cleaning process? and maybe after that it would be okay?
but im not sure it would be enough
flameofcertainty
yeah
i know what you mean
if i'd been a year younger and they'd told me it was clean i'd've believed them
if i'd been a year older i'd probably just have killed myself
flameofcertainty
one of my friends from the treatment program
uh
didn't make it
shadowed-moonrise
i had a friend in school
who was hyper, worse than me
way worse
shadowed-moonrise
he was *going to school* but just barely, he had to take a bunch of meds with a bunch of side effects to get out of the house at all
shadowed-moonrise
and he was a year older than me
flameofcertainty
oh no
shadowed-moonrise
so their class learned about the food crisis? and he left school that day like normal and he took the train home and he got in the shower with his clothes on and took all his meds at once
flameofcertainty
oh no
shadowed-moonrise
they told me he killed himself but nobody would *tell me why* because like i was hyper too and they were worried about copycat stuff
i stayed in touch with his mom, she told me later
she FOUND him
flameofcertainty
i'm so so sorry
shadowed-moonrise
that
shadowed-moonrise
i cant imagine
finding your dead child
it was pretty hard on me but she was really never the same
flameofcertainty
yeah
wow
that's
i don't really have words
:(
:( :( :(
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
he was an only child
flameofcertainty
:(
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
shadowed-moonrise
i think they were sort of saving for another credit but they ended up spending a lot of money on like, building a room for him where he would feel clean, and stuff
and afterwards, it's not like she was going to have another kid after what happened
flameofcertainty
right
shadowed-moonrise
they wanted to take me out of class for the segment on the food crisis for, you know, obvious reasons, but that was winter when i was three and i’d already found out from like being online and reading stuff so i guessed what it was? and they freaked the fuck out when i was like “are you just worried about me finding out about the voan food crisis”
flameofcertainty
were they hoping to just ... pretend it never happened? forever?
it's not like it's easy not to learn about, if you use the internet
shadowed-moonrise
i guess i was going to Find Out When I Was Older
or something
shadowed-moonrise
i mean i understand the thinking there, like the last time was horrible and i could really just have found out later
shadowed-moonrise
the last time being my friend
flameofcertainty
yeah
i see where they were coming from
flameofcertainty
my school kept me out of class for anything pollution-related but obviously they weren't going to stop me from finding out about the food crisis
shadowed-moonrise
......yeah
i am so sorry you had to live through that
flameofcertainty
thanks
flameofcertainty
my parents thought about having me do online school while it was happening
shadowed-moonrise
it was like really really irresponsible to just tell my friend and i’m like not sure what happened there
flameofcertainty
i don't know
flameofcertainty
mesosensitives can be really bad at guessing what's going to hurt us
shadowed-moonrise
part of it is just that grey schools aren’t that well equipped for..... dealing with....... disability, i guess?
flameofcertainty
i had a classmate who thought it would help me not starve if she vividly described what it was like to eat polluted food
shadowed-moonrise
..........what
flameofcertainty
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
i mean, i guess it’s good that they tried to help
but. WHAT
flameofcertainty
our teacher moved the seating chart so i wouldn't have to sit next to her
and gave me permission to not go to the cafeteria during lunch
but yeah, i am really not sure how she came to that conclusion
shadowed-moonrise
yeah wow
flameofcertainty
i guess if she thought i was going to starve to death unless she did something
shadowed-moonrise
sometimes i wish i could just live in a hyper colony
shadowed-moonrise
even though like i’m sort of a weird hyper? they might have called it sensitivity disorder nos if i didn’t take so many decontam showers for no reason
but it would still be BETTER
flameofcertainty
there would be a lot of nice things about that
on the other hand sometimes i hear about a hyper person thinking something is polluted and my brain decides 'oh, they must be right'
even though it was fine before
and i bet that would happen a lot more
shadowed-moonrise
oh no
shadowed-moonrise
if we all thought that the UNION of the things we thought were polluted were polluted.......
we would die very quickly, i guess
flameofcertainty
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
“oh this one guy (MADE UP) said water is polluted so uh goodbye cruel world i guess”
flameofcertainty
and even without that we'd need robots or something
to take care of garbage
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
i think robots are more of a political problem than a technological one, maybe we could get away with “look we’re a hyper colony we can’t even TALK TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD most days much less murder anybody”
flameofcertainty
i think it's like
flameofcertainty
if people spent a decade developing them then they'd have them
but they aren't mostly, because of the politics
shadowed-moonrise
right that makes sense
flameofcertainty
i'm fine with mesosensitives most days, but then *sometimes* it's like they decided to figure out how to be maximally terrible
shadowed-moonrise
honestly so many jobs should be automated not bc pollution but just bc they could be and those people could then do a more skilled job or live in the country and make art or whatever but we can’t build robots at all bc of the political thing
like assembly lines could go a lot more automated than they are and then we’d just be richer and fewer as a society
shadowed-moonrise
i feel very Solidarity with hypos but sometimes..... they too........ are the worst
maybe we could get nice hypos for our colony to take care of us
flameofcertainty
maybe
flameofcertainty
there are totally nice hypos but there are also hypos who do things like put untagged photos of pollution on the internet
shadowed-moonrise
yeah it really varies a lot
shadowed-moonrise
sometimes talking to hypos is calming bc mesos are like “but MY pollution instinct says this isn’t polluted” and that doesn’t help me at all but i have an amateur theologian hypo friend who can just talk me through the theological position and that helps a lot more
flameofcertainty
it's good that you have that
flameofcertainty
and we're not perfect either
there are hypersensitives who think orvaran system workers need to all be executed
or that if you don't do [insert absurdly specific thing here] you're not really hyper
flameofcertainty
like i can't handle being around mom but i don't want people to murder her
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
i definitely like
think that there’s an objective position on pollution
shadowed-moonrise
and it’s probably not exactly the theological one but it’s closer to that than to my paranoia
shadowed-moonrise
and honestly like... i *get* it but it just takes an insane amount of arrogance to be like, “of all the billions and billions of people with pollution instincts, mine is the objective truth and everybody else, including an entire scientific field, is wrong”
flameofcertainty
mm
flameofcertainty
oh i also saw this one person saying everyone alive during the food crisis needed to be executed
that one was "fun"
shadowed-moonrise
oh my fucking
fuck that person so much
also how are they planning to run society after they’ve killed everyone over four???????
flameofcertainty
i don't know???
shadowed-moonrise
also i feel a lot of people with proposals involving doing lots of murder........... fail to account for the fact that corpses are polluted
flameofcertainty
yeah
flameofcertainty
anyways
how's life been
shadowed-moonrise
a WONDERFUL PRETTY NICE blue hired me and i might maybe have a crush
flameofcertainty
eeeee congratulations!
shadowed-moonrise
i don’t know how to approach this tho
“hey baby...... i would have sex with you for free (on a good day)”
flameofcertainty
uh
if they've hired you a couple times you could ask? or something?
flameofcertainty
i am kind of bad at relationship advice
shadowed-moonrise
yes i think that i will actually do is like
wait a while and see if he contacts me
and then maybe ask him out or something
flameofcertainty
good luck!!
shadowed-moonrise
how’ve you been
shadowed-moonrise
also, i saw you post an out of stock green and purple scarf and i could try to make you something like it
i can’t do literally that but i’m thinking like getting some white silk and waxing designs on it and then dyeing it one color and then drawing on the designs in the other
this might be totally the wrong way to go about it but it sounds fun
flameofcertainty
gosh, that's really nice of you
flameofcertainty
if you ended up doing this i'd have a couple of sensitivity-related materials requests but i don't think any of them would actually make the project impossible
shadowed-moonrise
i think that kind of project would be fun rn, what are your materials requests?
flameofcertainty
the main one is not from [link to list of countries that have done cleaning and integrated ex-reds]
or eles decontaminatable
*else
but i think that might mess up the dyes?
shadowed-moonrise
ok i can do that
yeah i think it’s probably easier to just buy from not those countries than to try to... decontaminate..... dyes
shadowed-moonrise
like most commercial clothes are decontaminatable and........ have colors but they know what they’re doing and i do not
flameofcertainty
yeah
uh
now i want to do something nice for you, help
shadowed-moonrise
umm i really like [space shoenberg], you could record yourself playing one of his pieces? although idk how much you can do that on just violin
flameofcertainty
i'll try my best
maybe i can find an arrangement or something
shadowed-moonrise
that’s so nice of you
you don’t have to, i’ll like, enjoy the project anyway
i’m not sure how to make green and purple work well as a color combo, do you mind if there’s other colors?
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deadmanzp · 4 years ago
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aftg asks; questions by triquetrine
these are so interesting so i did all of them.. i want to come back after a year and see if id still answer the same! 
op is the post before this or also tagged “misc” 
neil josten: favorite/most iconic line?
first one that comes to mind I’m not sure is a favorite or iconic line? but it’s a line i think about a lot and it always hurts to read. it’s when they're at the cabin in TKM. 
“He didn’t care how much it hurt so long as he could pull Andrew closer, and he let Andrew take him apart until he couldn’t think anymore.”
that comes at the very end of Chapter 14 and gosh just the paragraph that line comes from and the paragraph before…. the fact neil thinks andrew doesnt care about him the way he cares/feels about andrew is like….. CMON MAN but also i just love the pining angst of it. i like this line especially because the line right before it mentions neil working his “bandaged fingers into Andrew’s hair”. so the “he didnt care how much it hurt” to me always carried a double meaning of 1. the physical pain he felt bc of his injuries but also 2. the pain of unfamiliarity abt his feelings towards andrew and thinking it was unreciprocal AND THAT HED HAVE TO “WARN” ANDREW like the implication.. of neil thinking abt their “relationship” possibly ending bc andrew doesnt feel the same and maybe wouldnt want to be entangled in whatever neil was feeling …… IM LIKE neil knows andrew so well and him being so sure abt this but hes like …. WRONG …. e
nathaniel wesninski: one thing you would change about the books? (plot, characters, etc)
there is very little id change about the books if at all. mainly bc while i know there are upsetting things that happen/the charas do, i think all of those things make the series really interesting to analyze and talk about. i will say a moment i hated was when neil touches andrews scars when andrew makes it clear he doesn't want neil to pry about them. i know neil offers his scars in turn when he's trying to convince andrew to let neil look over kevin but that was controlled. he let andrew touch them and find out about them of his own volition. neil touches something directly related to the trauma andrew had just experienced again when he had 0 permission to do so. while i always get mad at neil for this when i read it i still dont think id change it or get rid of it. im not really sure how id change it anyways and i think andrews relationship with his scars (and himself in general) is probably what allows him to brush it off(?)/never bring this up (plus maybe neil offering his scars was enough for andrew) but i havent thought too hard about this. but ya i remember i got rlly angry w neil the first time i read this scene and i still get mad abt it when i reread.
andrew minyard: if you could be friends with one of the characters, who would you pick?
i mean realistically i wouldnt be friends w jocks ILL BE REAL LOL and i think as much as i love the monsters, theres no way id be friends w them haha uhm but prob dan would be most realistic! maybe even katelyn tbh.. 
kevin day: if you played exy, what would your position be?
oh i think dealer! in sports i liked being able to do both defense and offense bc it made me feel i had more control over the field, like i could always do something if there were any holes
dan wilds: favorite moment/scene?
definitely the hotel reunion scene. theres so much to it; it drives me nuts!!!!! but honestly there are probably a lot of really good moments im forgetting. to me the whole series is really enjoyable and every scene has something i could say about it haha
matt boyd: song you would love to see in a live-action adaptation?
Oggghh this is so hard… esp since it takes place in 2007???? Idk.. iconic artists then i suppose ghfgkjhf BUT i think general vibes i think itd be so cool if paramore (time relevant), ptv (also time relevant), and mitski were on the soundtrack……. Ya…….. 
nicky hemmick: which made you more emotional, neil at evermore or neil in baltimore?
neil in baltimore for sure… neil at evermore i can't remember what i felt the first time i read it (maybe pain LOL bc he was doing it for andrew and i felt like riko wouldnt keep his promise) but in my latest reread i was unimpressed by it (mostly bc i think riko is boring and unimpressive). i think i mightve said evermore in the past though….. maybe... neil in baltimore is like … GOD neils emotions are so strong during all of that its really juicy haha. i think like him being angry bc he was on the cusp of having everything he couldve ever dreamed of; the desperation of wanting to fight back and get away; even just the fear of being in the same room as his father for the first time in so long... all really juicy 
aaron minyard: a character you will defend to your death?
defend…. im not sure is the word i would use and i dont think i really believe in defending any of these charas “to death” bc of how flawed and complex they are; id like to acknowledge when they did wrong. i think id “defend” any of the characters if i saw anyone misinterpreting or misunderstanding them.. theyre all really interesting even if they didnt get too much spotlight. except maybe riko. hes incredibly boring to me. and also nathan ig and any of his crew just bc there is Nothing abt them rlly...
katelyn: which minor character do you wish you could see more of?
uhhhmmmmmmmm hmmmmmm….. idk maybe… jeremy…. gjfjgkdngmdghs just bc him and kevin r so funny.. i was thinking maybe jean too but…… idk a diff kind of kevin relationship lol (yikes) (pain) but really im satisfied w jeans screen time. i think ichirou is interesting but again i think he didn't rlly need more. maybe erik actually. im interested to know what nicky is like with him :0
allison reynolds: favorite headcanon about the foxes?
actually something i recently thought abt was neil and photography. iirc? andrew gives neil a camera in the ec and i also imagine kevin eventually gets another camera too (i loved that detail when we saw his room at the nest) so i thought abt neil and kevin sharing/trading pics they take of (mainly) scenery. i imagine neil takes pics of anything he wants to remember/keep while kevin is more prone to taking pics of subjects related to some nerd history stuff (lol) so thats why they trade scenery pics mainly. but i like this small connection bc i want more to their relationship than their exy obsession and i imagine they have room for more now that riko is gone and i just like this other commonality btwn them. i think maybe they mail the developed pics to each other maybe w small descripts/notes but thats it. and i also imagine it kind of just is something that started happening.. neil and andrew r on a roadtrip and some building reminds neil of kevin so he snaps a pic and eventually sends it to kevin w some note. kevin replies 1. either a text being like that is nothing. > neil: shrugs brushes it off but figures he is welcome to send more when kevin sends his own picture back or 2. kevin simply replies back similarly w his own photo. i dont know.. maybe this goes beyond what their actual relationship would be like but i do like the idea of them just bein like… dude friends u know so i want them to have more than just exy and a traumatizing experience between them. 
as for common headcanons within the fanbase…. i do like the allison + neil haircuts thing.. although im not sure if i imagine it the same as most haha i feel neil would know how to cut his own hair from his life on the run (though theyre not Good or bad just like ok u know like passable generic w/e) i think hed definitely be tense the first couple times but he has experience w allison being close from needing to be covered up w make up after winter break so i think she would be allowed. 
renee walker: favorite non-canonical ship? (renison, jerejean, etc)
uhmm to be honest none really… im way too attached to canon to be able to dismiss any established relationships. i think kevemy (??? is that the name) is rlly amusing but i dont want them together necessarily haha i used to rlly like renison mainly bc im a lesbian and i want “main” chara wlw relationships lol but i recently read something abt how bi allison doesnt rlly sit well w some bc she outs andrew and neil during the hotel scene.. i also agree this is kinda :/ if she was bi Mainly bc i feel a lot of ppl (or at least this is what i gather from renison stuff ive seen) portray allison already being established bi? if this makes sense. i think if renison/allison realizing shes bi is a later development id feel better abt it but usually renison is already established so ya her outing them does bother me…. BUT aside from this, thinking about them as characters and what their partners (would) look like… im not sure if theyd rlly choose each other.. but i still enjoy seeing them together in art and in fic bc in the end…. im a sucker for women lol….
seth gordon: most underrated dynamic? (matt & neil, wymack & andrew, etc)
my first thought was wymack and andrew bc i rlllllyy like their dynamic especially after reading their ec stuff. i loved their first meeting (andrews terrible sandwich??!?fhdhfjd) and when andrew breaks into wymacks apartment BUT i think ppl mention them enough its not underrated. i Actually think renee and andrews dynamic/friendship is rlly underrated/overlooked!!! especially after reading the son nefes ec i love their dynamic a lot… 
some son nefes moments of them i liked:  tw // rape
renee convincing andrew to go with her to see matt after his trip to edens
how many knives do u carry / one more than u IS SO FUNNY and just andrews persistence abt fighting renee is also rlly funny to me
tw // rape : the moment when andrew asks renee if she killed her rapist/abuser that whole convo was good… 
their convo in the rain w their tea
i cant remember when this happens or rlly exaclty what was said but renee offers andrew something (some help??) and he says i dont need (w/e it was) and she says something along the lines of  i know but it wouldnt do any harm or SOMETHING like that.. i like this bc she acknowledges their abilities while showing shed still like to offer some help. im p sure she does this another time too (w neil???? or someone i cant remember maybe it was andrew again) and i remember liking it too. she has a way w words and talking (also seen in her convincing andrew to see matt)
BUT regardless of ec stuff i think their relationship/dynamic seen in the books is rlly good too. theres def enough to be intrigued by them and i always have been? so i'm reeeaallly happy son nefes exists i loved reading it..
david wymack: which ncaa team would you play for?
oh to be honest i dont rlly remember many of them but of the Three (ravens, foxes, trojans) prob trojans. i remember i even got them in a uquiz once… 
abby winfield: which character was the most realistically written?
first that came to mind was aaron actually.. i remember before when i didnt rlly like him or care abt him it was actually bc he was too “boring” to me. i always thought he had the most realistic reactions to things which is what made him boring to me amidst the ridiculousness of, well, everything in aftg lol… i still think he is really realistically written but now i dont think hes boring haha
besty dobson: how many times have you read the series?
fully i think…. only 3 times… i wish this were a higher count but i actually feel guilty everytime i try to reread it.
riko moriyama: coolest exy moment? (kevin’s last-minute point against the ravens, andrew shutting down the goal, etc)
uhhmm uhmm i def think kevin during the final game against the ravens…. hes so cool haha but i KNOW there were a lot of game moments that i thought were really cool so i cant rlly say…. oh also i love neil being defense in that game too rlly juicy wish i could pull up obscure moments bc i know i rlly enjoyed reading the games but terrible memory...
jeremy knox: which do you like reading more, domestic!foxes or chaotic!foxes?
uh i guess chaotic? not rlly sure exactly what that could entail but i do like… their chaos.. when they have fights and squabbles and stuff… this includes the high tension moments. ALTHOUGH i do like the tiny lines in the books when we see the monsters just doing like random basic everyday life stuff like playing video games or whatever. i like…. imagining them... fhdjfjshfjs… as for fic def chaos. i feel domestic is usually too softened….. 
jean moreau: favorite friendship?
oh i think this goes back to andrew and renee. but other than them… i do like neil and matts friendship.. though probably not the same as its typically portrayed 
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coffeecapricorn · 6 years ago
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February 9 2019
So I’ve been trying to “sit with my loneliness” more. This morning I slept in, took an OTF class, grocery shopped BY MYSELF at target, came home, made myself stir fry and didnt feel upset that I spent the day alone. I’ve had a good day, I feel good. Relaxed. This week has been long and hard and I needed a day alone. I like being alone, which sometimes I get self conscious about bc it’s “not normal” but I genuinely enjoy it. So today was good, it was everything I needed.
I talked to Kayla, I think she actually is coming this weekend so I bought her Valentine’s Day gift. Strawberries and creams truffles and a pandora ring so I’m excited for that. I did my homework and stuff which involved planning out my week for MBH and since Kayla’s coming this weekend, I got to write it all out so I’m super excited and it was cool to write it down and see what we’d really be doing and shit.
I’m getting my tattoo tomorrow and I have no idea what it looks like. I’m confused and also a little nervous. I don’t know why tommi hasn’t sent me a picture and I don’t want to bother her by asking. I get weirdly self conscious about odd things. I took cash and stuff out for it todag so I’m all set just super nervous I hope I like it and it won’t be awkward. Even if I don’t like it I honestly don’t think I would have her change it bc I would feel too bad about it. So yeah super nervous and confused why she didn’t send me a pic yet but excited.
I think how quickly life changes will always be odd to me. It’s good to grow & for things to change & to learn to be okay with that change, which has been one of my biggest lessons of 2018 and one that I hope to continue to learn more about and embrace in 2019. My life has FLIPPED in the last year and it’s wild to me how many people have so quickly and easily came and gone and how few have actually stayed. It also makes me grateful for those who have stayed and I’m learning little by little how to cherish them now but how to accept that they most likely won’t stay forever. I’ve been looking at my snap memories. Erin Waldron just posted someone on insta with her boyfriends mom so I was like aw and I was thinking of Zack, and all the people I met through him, what he’s taught me, how he came and went INCREDIBL quickly but also what I’ve gained bc of him. Bc of him I left st Moritz, grew, and now work at orange theory. He helped me and pushed me to grow. Everyone had their purpose in your life and his was fulfilled quickly. Yeah I’m ducking bitter about it and I miss him like crazy almost every single day. But I also take the lesson of 2018 that people come and go and change needs to be embraces more bc that is truly the only way you grow. I hope next year to be at a point where I’m getting ready to move out. Hopefully I’ll have a new car. I’ll have formed some more friendships, seen some new places, made some new memories and hopefully I’ll have learned a couple new lessons. We can’t stay in the same place, know the same people, or stay the same forever.
I just saw a quote on vsco and it was like “I pray were meant for each other, I really do” anyways lately I’ve been seeing 11:11 basically every day. I don’t know if it’s a sign or what it means but I always wish for Ryan without even thinking about it. It’s not the same thing as praying but I only just now realized I do that. I guess I do pray every day we get back together. He’ll always be my first love and in my heart, my soulmate. I hope I keep seeing 11:11 and I hope one day he comes back.
Bryn just posted this thing on her instagram abt somebody fat shaming her for being bigger than Pete... and behind it she was talking about eating disorders. I feel for her & I want to reach out but it’s not my place at all. I hate being in situations like this bc I want to help & ive been there and felt it, in a different way, but I’ve had an eating disorder and I want to help but I would feel off doing so. I just hope she knows in some magical way that she’s beautiful and if she needs anything I’m here. She’s gorgeous. I know how hard it can be to deal with shit that other people will say and I wish I could help. I love you bryn��
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