#ive just been staring at my co star this week like. Okay co star thank you co star

[hearty-an0n]

This week’s Co-Star daily updates

Articles screenshot // Claus Andersen // Mark Blinch // Kevin Sousa // Chase Agnello-Dean // Nick Turchiaro // Alejandro Santiago

[curanonemu]

ateez soulmates au | choi jongho

✧ Shared Dreams AU ✧

tags/warnings/notes: jongho's pov, lowkey mega angst, happy ending (i promise), but reader's in a coma for some time so PLEASE BE WARNED (and take care of yourself, DON'T read if you're uncomfy)

Happy birthday to one Choi Jongho, and a mega thank you to one Dee as always for being deelightful

word count: 3,156

enjoy!! ♡ (as much as y'all can "enjoy" angst anyway lol)

He's in the same place, they're both there again. Long, sprawling hills, sky a light rosy hue, grass stretching on endlessly, it all melts into one vague blur as he tries to focus further; Jongho can't make out anything else.

Except you.

You're standing in front of him, just like always, with all his focus on you, and he looks at your outstretched hand. It's inviting, incredibly so, along with the smile that plays on your face, and Jongho feels uncharacteristically shy.

Your smile grows wider and you wiggle your fingers as he purses his lips, and he pretends that the tinge on his face is due to the light from some distant star that he can't possibly name.

He huffs lowly, before stepping forward and grabbing your hand. It's soft, warm against his own and Jongho can feel the warmth spreading upwards, his arm tingling. Hand in hand, they walk together, over the grass which seems to never end, and he wonders just how long he's been walking with you in this place which he's never seen, yet knows inexplicably better than even his home.

He wonders how he knows you, when he's never met you. His waking moments are spent pondering upon that very question.

Eventually, you halt, and Jongho looks at you questioningly. He follows your gaze to see a picnic blanket and basket laid out under a tree. It all seems to have appeared out of thin air. The tree hadn't been there a moment back, either.

"Why are we here?" He wants to ask, but the words don't leave his mouth. He's not sure he'd be able to let out any sound even if he tried.

You turn to him, eyes sparkling, and Jongho feels a surge of affection within. Your grip on his hand tightens, and you start walking again, eagerly dragging him and he lets himself get carried forward.

You slip your hand out of his only to sit down on the blanket, and he falters for a moment, not sure if he should join you before deciding that, yes, he should.

You spend the next few minutes looking around, gesturing animatedly to things that keep popping out of nowhere, soft petals raining down, butterflies, a few stray leaves. And Jongho spends all that time looking at you, looking at the way your hair falls slightly into your eyes despite your numerous efforts to push it away, looking at the way the corners of your eyes crinkle when you smile just the slightest. He wants to touch your face, feel it with his hands even as he commits it all to memory, and he's about to indulge himself.

His fingertips land on your cheek, and he finds himself in his room again, eyes fluttering open as he's ripped out of his dream.

He's quiet for a moment, before he exhales, disappointed. It's always at the crucial moments that he's woken up.

He didn't always dream of you. There was a time when he slept through nights dreamlessly, or dreamt of things that he can't even remember anymore. He did dream of a stranger during the day, the rare times when he napped. But it stopped around three years back.

Since then, his nights have been full of dreams of you, and when he's too tired during the day, his naps are devoid of dreams, or his dreams; devoid of you. He wonders why the pattern has been reversed.

Shutting his eyes for some more moments yields no result. Resigned, he pulls himself out of his bed, deciding to go through his day instead.

The next seventeen or so hours are pretty much uneventful, till he gets into bed at around midnight.

-

He's in the same place. But you're not.

He tosses and turns in his sleep, eyebrows knitted even has he continues to slumber, and it's only when the early morning sun shines through his window that his eyes open. For the first time in ages, he's woken up not because he can't be with you any longer, but because he just couldn't find you.

Elsewhere, in a hospital, the doctors declare you to be in a state of coma.

-

He's been walking for hours now, reaching the same place over and over again before a new path opens up, only for him to arrive at his initial position. He's never been here before, branches drooping with leaves frosted over as the trees cast dark shadows on the ground. It's cold, incredibly so and he wonders exactly how much longer he'll be here, how many weeks he must spend here before the figurative snow thaws, the sun comes up and flowers bloom again.

He's tired. Lonely. It feels like he's looking for something, and at moments he feels like he's almost found it, but then he turns back, or hurries over the hills to where he expects to find it, but there's nothing. There's not a trace of what he wants, and he's starting to believe that his mind is playing tricks on him.

Perhaps the place had always looked like this, but he'd just never paid enough attention to notice it. Not when he had you next to him, smiling like a ray of light in a place so lonely without you. Where was the pink sky, the flowers which floomed and the fluttering butterflies?

Where were you?

It's been days since he last saw you.

Jongho is scared.

Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait for long. He stirs as his slumber breaks, and he wakes up, ready to face another day with nothing more than emotional exhaustion and a glaring lack of your presence.

-

One of his co-workers is in the hospital in the next district because of some issues, and Jongho gets roped into visiting him. He's still worried and more than a little upset about the lack of his favourite person in his dreams, but when everyone requests it of him, he can't refuse. He doesn't really have a valid reason that he can give, anyway. "Sorry, the person of my dreams is missing and it sets me on edge," isn't really something he can say with a straight face.

He takes the train to the district, then walks from the station to the hospital. He already has a map, and with the help of a few kind strangers, it isn't long before he reaches his destination. Relieved, he looks around for a moment. For a hospital, the place sure looks uplifting. Maybe it's because of the small flowers and leaves adorning the sidewalk, shucked off from the trees as their branches sway in the wind. Yeah, that's really not how he remembers other hospitals.

He enters, asking the receptionist for directions and she gives him a pass, allowing him to go up to the floor where his co-worker's room is situated.

Jongho spends the next few minutes making small talk with the other man, and he thanks him, laughing awkwardly. He's not too banged up, and he even says so, nervously admitting that the other person involved in the accident suffered way more. Jongho still eyes the casts on his leg and shoulder skeptically, and his co-worker waves off the look with his free hand. "You should see the other person. For real. I'd feel better if you went and visited them. I can't move yet so I've not gone, and I get the feeling their family won't be too happy to see me. But please go and visit them for me, Jongho-ssi."

Jongho sighs. Nothing to be done when an injured person asks something of him. He ends up nodding, and bowing one last time as he leaves the room. He goes back to the front desk, smiling at the receptionist innocently and asking where the other accident survivor is. They've survived, surely?

It's only when he's in front of the ICU that he understands what his co-worker meant. Yeah, compared to broken bones, a coma is far worse.

And the only reason Jongho's allowed to enter the room is because the patient's parents all but push him in. They seem to recognise him for some unknown reason, and he understands soon enough, when he's in the room, in front of the patient.

The person who's been missing from his dreams has manifested themselves in the real world, lying on the hospital bed with equipment supporting them.

He stares, a bit stunned and a lot light-headed, at the person who lies on the bed.

It's you.

You, with your face which he's always wanted to touch, caress with his hands, and your hands which he's always held while walking with you to the ends of the world. They're stretched out at your side, and his own hands twitch in response to the memories that resurface. With your hair flared out on the white pillow, akin to a halo as it frames your head, you look a little like an angel.

Just like in his dreams.

Yet, you're totally different from his dreams.

You're pale, unnaturally so, with the IV stuck into your hand delivering weird, concerning but essential things into you. Your face looks peaceful, but it doesn't have the radiance that it possesses in Jongho's deeams, and his heart clenches painfully in his rib cage.

Is this why he's not seen you in his dreams recently? He realises it's been a week and two days now, around the same time when his co-worker got into the accident. No wonder you've not had time to jump into his dreams when you're fighting to just have some of your own.

He turns, unable to look at you and his met with your parents' eyes. "How'd you know it's me?" He asks, because it's the only thing he can bring himself to utter.

One of them pulls out a folded piece of paper, unfolding it before his eyes as he stares. It's a sketch of his own face, and Jongho's eyebrows raise in surprise. "You're the child's favourite thing to draw."

Jongho leaves the room after that, throat too tight to want to stay there; not when your parents looked like they were just waiting for him to get out so they could cry again.

He just goes back once to see his co-worker, asking them where he was when the accident happened. Jongho needs to extend his trip to this district, and he's okay with it. With that in mind, he gets out of the hospital and hails a taxi for his destination.

It's just an old roadside market, set up against a row of residential buildings. He sits down on the steps leading up to one of the shops, and waits.

There's nothing out of the ordinary. At first glance, anyway. But the longer he stays there, the more convinced he gets that something is unusual about the place. He feels goosebumps on his arms as the wind blows, the evening getting colder as the sun sets, nighttime setting in and clouds floating by, obstructing stars periodically. He leans against the wall, watching as the shops shut down one by one, and it's only when the owner of the shop he's using as shelter looks at him impatiently that Jongho gets up and forces himself to walk.

He's going to look for you as long as you need him to.

He walks past a narrow alleyway, and for a moment it feels like the air gets especially warm, then back to the biting cold that's settling into Jongho's bones through his thin shirt.

He turns around, and the urge to go backwards gets even stronger, pulling at his gut and making his feet carry him in front of the alleyway again. But something stops him from going inside. It's like an invisible wall in front of him obstructing him from entering the darkness.

And then he's reminded of his home, his parents, his life that he's almost put on hold to chase the unreasonable thoughts in his head.

He turns around, irritated at himself, and walks down the dimly lit road, all the while cursing his inability to do anything. But what can he even do? He's barely even an adult.

Should he take the train back home? That'll be inconvenient, his mind provides, and he's ashamed to admit that he thinks that only because he doesn't want to be away from you. The next moment he berates himself for being ashamed. So what if he wants to be near you? Jongho is entitled to want to be close to you; you're his soulmate for god's sake. He shakes his head, walks till he reaches the busy roads again, specifically the one where the hospital is situated.

In a split-second decision, he enters the building opposite to the hospital, and sets out all the money that he has onto the counter. Hotel rooms for one night are surprisingly not that expensive.

He makes a call to his parents, lying through his teeth about meeting up with a friend and crashing at his house, and the second he's in his room, he flops down on the bed. When his head hits the pillow, it's only a matter of seconds before he's pulled under his dreams.

-

He's in the same place, branches drooping even as the trees shed more of their leaves, sky greying, and Jongho walks briskly, trying not to focus on the cold ground under his shoes which makes his feet the slightest bit numb. He's going in circles again, almost, over one hill and then the next, and reaching the first again by some forsaken chance. And he's starting to get tired. He wants to get away.

Nevertheless, there's something crawling up his spine, whispering into his ear, goading him and he wants to prove to it that he can stay here.

And so he does, trying to entertain himself with memories of you as he walks around the desolate land.

He remembers your face. How it'd looked in the hospital as you lied still, unaware of the rest of the world. How it'd looked in his dreams, when your eyes had been trained solely on him. Or how it'd looked when you were looking at something other than him, eyes lighting up in excitement and interest.

He remembers your hands. How they'd looked, still and unmoving, and how they'd felt when they were in his own, fingers intertwined with yours.

He remembers how he'd thought you looked like an angel in the room with so much white. He thinks of how you always look like an angel, even with the brightest of colours that'd painted their world of dreams.

Cold or not, dull, hopeless or not, endlessly repetitive or not, he just wants to walk with you. In this place, and in the place that he used to inhabit with you. And in the world where you're separated from each other by the distance of a mere district. In the world where he's alive and breathing, and you're monitored by doctors trying to save you. Where he's standing next to you, watching you while you've escaped to some place far away from your mind.

He calls out your name for the first time, letting it echo in the place. To think that he even knows your name now, but you don't know his fills him with a sense of urgency.

He calls out again, louder this time, letting the sound travel farther.

Like the flame of a candle growing against winds that try to put it out, he sees your figure in the distance, staring back at him with emotions in your eyes that he cannot decipher.

He almost trips over his feet as he hurries over to you, afraid that it's but a mirage, a figment of his imagination that's crying from your absence. But as he draws closer, you don't disappear; your presence just gets stronger till he can feel you as he stops some feet away from you.

You look at him, he looks at you. Wordlessly. Then you crack a smile and wiggle your fingers, and Jongho's lower lip trembles slightly.

"You found me."

They're the first words he's heard from you; he's heard your voice now.

He nods. Mustering up the courage, he responds. "I've been looking for days."

"I know," you reply, still smiling, and Jongho steps forward. It's a big risk he's taking - you might just disappear again. But he reaches out and places a hand on your arm. Nothing happens.

Right, that's safe territory. His raises his hand again, pressing it lightly to your cheek, and your eyes get even brighter as your smile widens. He breathes out.

"Don't go away."

"I'm not going anywhere." You say, shrugging, looking around casually.

"You have to come back, please." He tries again, stepping even closer, slowly, as if approaching a spooked animal. He's not one for physical displays of affection, but he swallows his pride and traps you in his arms as he hugs you for the first time. He can do that much for the person he l... likes being with.

"But I'm here. Right here, next to you, in our world. There's just us here, isn't it so peaceful?" You pull back, smiling at him encouragingly, and he shakes his head vehemently.

"I'm not the only one that needs you. You... you're so important to so many people, you can't just stay here."

You look at him questioningly, head tilted as you go over his words before frowning. "What about you?"

Ah, the million-dollar question. To be brave or to be a chicken who can't admit to his own feelings; that is the question.

"I... I need you there too, in the real world. I can't just see you at night, please." The plea slips out with another call of your name, and Jongho tries not to wince at the way your eyes glimmer with tears.

He doesn't know how to talk. He's never been good at that. All he can try now is express himself through actions, even though that's something he's never been good at, either.

He pulls you into his arms again, holding you tight as he buries his face in your hair.

"Come back. I'll be there." He mumbles.

He swallows back the lump in his throat when he feels your head move against his cheek. Squeezing his eyes shut, he wishes he could wake up from this dream with you. And if not with you, then he wants to never wake up.

-

Jongho's eyes snap open as he lies in the hotel room, sweating as a shudder goes through his body. He's breathing heavily, exhausted, head spinning, but he forces himself to rip away the sheets and stumble over to the window overlooking the hospital.

After nine days and eleven hours of being comatose, as the doctors and nurses mill about, conversing frantically, you finally open your eyes.

-

-

:')) good lord i almost made this into Heartbreaking Angst so many times but stopped myself because i can't handle angstgkdsdkk,,, thank you for reading if you made it this far ♡ (don't blame you At All if you didn't hAHA) you can find other posts in this series under my 'ateez soulmates' tag, and they're way fluffier lol

Hongjoong | Seonghwa | Yunho | Yeosang | San | Mingi | Wooyoung

[petersshirts]

The Truth | tom holland

summary: tom just can’t hide his feelings anymore

warnings: none, just fluff

words: 1,7 k

A/N: this is for @hollandsosterfield and @spidey-caps birthday writing challenge, i chose the prompt „I sleep better if you’re around.“ with my boi tom, i hope you enjoy!! and as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

„Y/N, you’re up!“ The voice of an unfamiliar man woke you from your daydreams and you looked up, trying to remember where you were. There were people all around you, fixing cameras and talking quietly while you just sat there, waiting for the next interview.

You just nodded and got up to walk to the blue couch that was still empty but as soon as you sat down, you heard a familiar laugh that made your insides churn. Tom walked into the room and shook hands with a few of the journalists, that handsome smile never leaving his lips.

You had always hated press tours. Especially with Marvel - there was never anything you could really talk about and it seemed like you never slept. But with Tom around, you never wanted this to be over. Your co-star always lit up every room he walked in, just like he lit up your heart.

You had met Tom on the day of your audition for the first Spider-Man movie and you were completely overwhelmed. This was your first movie and Tom was just so nice and welcoming - he showed you the food and encouraged you all day, knowing somehow that you would get the part. And since that, you just couldn’t stop thinking about him.

You knew that you were only co-stars and you were just playing one of his classmates - but somehow it felt like so much more. There were stolen glances in between takes and smiles that were just meant for you. But you never dared to make the next step. The two of you spend a few nights in hotel rooms watching movies and falling asleep together, but there was never more. You were too afraid to let him in.

„Hey, you.“ Tom whispered and send you a smile that made you weak in the knees. Thank god for that couch you were sitting on. „H- hi.“ It was always hard for you to talk to him - you always wondered why he even talked to you. There were so many more beautiful girls out there like Zendaya. God, Zendaya. She was a goddess.

„How’s LA been treating you?“ Toms’ eyes were full of curiosity and you could only smile, happy that someone like Tom was around. He really cared about the people around him. But you hoped that he could care a bit more about you.

„It’s been good. The city’s just a bit too big for me.“ Tom nodded, knowing how you felt. Just like him, you were from the UK but you came from a much smaller town than him. Because of that, the two of you hit it right off. When you started talking, it felt like Tom was a long lost friend you’ve been looking for. With him, you were not an outcast surrounded by Americans.

„I know the feeling. I’m so excited to head back home.“ You smiled at Tom but before you could answer him, you were interrupted by the interviewer talking to the camera to tell you that the interview was starting and it was time to put on that smile you just wanted to throw in the trash.

After a few hours of talking about a movie you couldn’t really talk about, the day was finally done. Tom had a few more interviews with Jake Gyllenhaal, so you just waved at him before you left the room. But with you turning your back away from Tom, you didn’t see the longing look on his face.

Since it was already 6 pm, you told your driver to bring you back to the hotel. There were only two more days left until you headed back home to your family for a week. In your room, you ordered room service and changed into some comfy pyjamas and opened Netflix. When you look at the list of your recently watched movies, you had to grin.

Last week, Tom told you that he had never watched the Princess Diaries so you forced him to watch it with you. And he loved it. Tom was such a sap at heart and you just loved watching him laugh out loud and just smile like a goofball through the whole movie. After you finished the first one, Tom insisted on watching the second one and even though it was pretty late you agreed, because you just couldn’t say no to him.

But as soon as the intro started, you fell asleep. Tom covered you with a blanket and when you woke the next morning, he was still there. Your stomach erupted with butterflies when you saw his sleeping face right next to you, his mouth slightly open and his curls all over the place. He looked so peaceful at that moment and you had wished that you could stay like this forever. You wanted to reach out and touch his hair and wake him up with a kiss, but you were just friends.

You sighed and looked for something else to watch to get your mind off the British boy. It was particularly hard when you saw him every day, trying to tell yourself that he was way too good for you.

Room service arrived pretty quickly and you found yourself on the bed, eating your burger and fries while watching a sad romantic movie that was just right up your alley. When you finished the food, the movie was getting more heart-wrenching and you started crying, always really touched by those cliche movies. Suddenly, there was a knock on your door and your eyes widened, wondering who would want something for you this late at night.

You hopped off the bed without a second thought and rushed to the door, only to reveal the by that you couldn’t stop thinking about. Tom smiled at you but as soon as he saw your tears, he looked a lot more worried. He moved forward and grabbed your arms, his eyes searching for what caused those tears.

„Hey, are you okay?“ You couldn’t help yourself and started to giggle, causing Tom to look even more concerned. „Yeah, I was just watching a sad movie. I’ll be fine.“ Tom let out a breath and smiled, happy that nothing was wrong. He would hate himself if there was something he had done.

„What are you doing here?“ You raised an eyebrow, not sure why he had shown up in front of your room. Normally, he would send you a text and ask if he could come over to talk, but it was unusual for him to just show up in front of your door. But to be honest - you weren’t complaining.

Suddenly, Tom started to blush and look to the ground, avoiding your gaze. „Uhm, I kinda need to talk to you. Can I come in?“ Well, this was even weirder. But you just smiled and opened the door wider.

Tom walked in and you followed him, slowly realising that your room looked like a complete mess. There were plates everywhere and it looked like a raccoon just ravished this place. But Tom didn’t even comment on that and just sat down on the bed, his eyes still fixated on the ground. Something must be terribly wrong.

You sat down next to him, unsure what to say. You fidgeted with your fingers, hoping that he would actually say something. Maybe he had girl problems and he needed your help. That would be the worst - how could you help the boy you really liked with another girl??„Okay, I’m just gonna say it.“ Tom finally looked up and right into your eyes. You just stared at him, waiting.

„I like you, Y/N. For quite a while now. And I don’t know if you feel the same but I just can’t stand watching from the side when I just want you to be mine.“ Your eyes widened and you tried to understand what Tom just said The exact words you’ve been dreaming of for a long time. You wanted to tell him the same thing, that you just couldn’t stop thinking about him whenever he was near or gone, but Tom was faster than you.

„And I know that it’s pretty cliche with us being co-stars but when I saw you the first time and I saw you smile, I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. You’re my match, Y/N. Whenever we had those movie nights and you fell asleep, I just wanted to hold you close and kiss you, but I was never sure that you felt the same way. But now I’m selfish. And I’m sorry if this is…“ but before he could say anything else, you grabbed his hand to get his attention. A smile was on your lips and you just grinned at the boy, your heart beating a million times a minute.

„Tom, I feel the same way. I always wanted to tell you but I was just too scared.“ Now it was Toms’ turn to look shocked, but soon he started to grin like a 10-year-old. „Does that mean I can kiss you?“ His words were only a whisper and you could only nod, a blush rising on your cheeks.

Tom slowly moved forward and your lips met his and a small whine escaped his throat. Your hands wandered to his waist, pulling him closer, wanting to feel him. Tom nudged your nose and you giggled, happy that everything had finally fallen into place.

Soon, Tom moved you on the bed and the two of you cuddled while you finished the movie you started. And when it was don, you asked him to stay. Toms’ face lit up and he just nodded when he turned off the light turning the room into complete darkness. Tom nuzzled his face into your neck and you sighed, the smile never leaving your lips. Finally, after all those years, things had fallen into place.

„I sleep better if you’re around.“ Tom mumbled into your neck and you laughed at the soft touch, but you knew exactly what he meant. With him, you felt safe. Like everything would be even brighter the next day with your boy by your side.

I would love some feedback! x

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[iloveshippingkitty]

Prinxiety - Camisado

Okay so this is inspired by the P!ATD song of the same name Human College AU

Trigger Warning: ABUSE (PARENTAL ABUSE OF CHILD), HOSPITALS, BLOOD, BEING PHYSICALLY SICK

IF ANY OF THOSE WILL UPSET OR TRIGGER YOU DON'T READ PLEASE

The IV and your hospital bed, this was no accident, this was a therapeutic chain of events. -

Roman sat by his grandmother talking to her, she had had a fall but was okay. Only a twisted ankle but she was old enough that they made sure she was okay with each fall.

His grandmother, Julie, was great company and they talked about college.

“How is your thesis going, Prince? Good?” Julie asked and Roman nodded, the nickname he wore like a badge came from his grandma distracted from the actual question, “Is that a lie?”

“Yes.. I have slept 4 hours in 2 days.”

“I wish you’d get more. But when does your thesis have to be in?”

“Two weeks.” “You’ll be around for Pumpkin Pie after and then we can have your special hot chocolate.” Julie said. This wasn’t a request.

“Yes I will.” He confirmed thinking fondly on special hot chocolate (hot chocolate with Magic Stars and whiskey in to help him sleep). Then he saw someone get rushed down the hall on a gurney, a guy he thought he knew.

“Anyway, Prince, how’s that friend of yours?” Julie decided to distract a morbidly curious Roman from checking out whoever it was.

“Which, grandma? I do have more than one.” Roman looked back at her with a slight snark to his look, knowing exactly what she was doing and not quite minding but in her hastiness had been vague.

“You know, that Jason boy.”

“You know that isn’t his actual name don’t you? It’s a nickname to do with Heathers.” Prince laughed. Someone regularly nicknamed as Anxiety (and not so often nicknamed JD/Jason from Heathers) was what he would class as frenemy in his college. They had a thing for competing to be heard when they had opposing opinions which what he later found out was quite a surprise to other people. They had only ever known Anxiety to be fairly quiet but with a quick wit. Roman liked that he made Anxiety come out of himself a bit more even if it annoyed him that the guy went on an entire rant of why optimism was ‘dangerous’. And annoyed him even more that he caught and called Roman out on the fact he was looking at him a lot and blushing during an argument. Not like he liked him like that. No. Not at all.

“Oh, what is his name then, sweetheart?”

“… Actually I don’t know. We all call him Anx for Anxiety.” He responds to which Julie gives him a pointed look, “What? We don’t know his name. It’s what he introduces himself as. He really sets himself up for pessimism. You know what he said in a debate against me the other day? That optimism is ‘dangerous’. I mean can you believe it. He has so much he could feel good about. People would kill for hair like his. He’s born with a talent for picking up stuff, he’s witty, people don’t dislike him by any means and he’d have more friends if he only spoke a little more.” 

Julie’s pointed look intensifies but as he doesn’t notice she realises the poor Roman must have quite the crush. Unaware to his own ranting and her attitude, she laughed.

That’s when he finally looked at her, “He’s right you know, Prince. Optimism, while definitely necessary, can be dangerous. You don’t know his home life, sweetheart. You were incredibly lucky to be born into a family that you never even had to come out to, that we’ve all been lucky enough to not struggle through losses and diseases more than our family can take. And even when my Alan died, rest his soul, he died quickly and peacefully. And I know you know that but I think you sometimes forget that not everyone will have all those things. His family may not be nice, he may be or have been ill. Felt loss to such an extent that it takes his initial optimism and crushes it. Because sometimes life does that to people.” 

Roman had known his fair share of difficulties but a great support network he had always been lucky to have. He had not thought of those things before and his heart went out to Anxiety, suddenly curious to know his actual name …also whereabouts to see if he was okay.

The distraction although slightly upsetting to Roman had worked ….up until the screaming started.

Down the corridor, 4 doors down across from them, loud screaming started instantaneously, echoing.

A code and a name was said over the tannoy and more professionals made their way into the room and sitting up straight, he gave a wide-eyed look to Julie. Julie, knowing his chivalrous side had felt the call to someone so distraught and wanted to fix it. That’s all he wanted to do. She put a soft hand on his and knowing what it meant he sat back more relaxed, even if a little forced.

A minute or so later the screaming stops and a further 5 minutes after that Julie nudged him to urge him to go see who it was. The look she gave he knew he was to follow the rules of “be quick, non-intrusive and at least attempt to keep to himself”. Quietly he gave her a soft smile and walked away down the corridor to look through the door window. There sat a half-laying, shaken, head over a disposable sick-bowl was undoubtedly Anxiety. Roman had seen him earlier that day, he swore he could feel his heart breaking as he realised it had been him screaming.

He nearly walked in then remembered how worried his grandma would be if he didn’t go back and tell her why he was going to be a while so off he headed back.

“It’s Anxiety, grandma, he’s here. He was the one screaming. I have to make sure he’s okay.” He quickly told her and with a nod each he headed back then knocked on the door, wanting to enter but not wanting to intrude.

Anxiety looks up and it takes a moment for Roman to recognise him. His face is swollen on one side, he’s bleeding a lot from a few different cuts and his fear is evident upon his face until he recognises the knocker. Then he lets tears fall and indicates him to come in.

“Suppose there’s no hiding this is there.” Anxiety groans, his words slurred. Then he realises the tears are of shame. Whatever has happened to Anxiety, it happens to him on a regular basis. Enough that rather than his worry being about his own health, he worries that Roman will tell the others almost like he’d tell them and.laugh. To that Roman’s heart drops into his stomach.

“No, Anx. No there’s not.” He replies solemnly. There’s something about Roman’s tone that makes Anx look up. He can tell even without his saying so that Roman won’t tell people, there was just no more hiding it from him. This was backed up by him asking, “How? Who? What? Why? When? Where? …. Okay, no.. I’m back with my brain. Who did this and where can I find and vanquish them?”

“Okay, I don’t think anyone has used the word vanquish since the 19th Century.” Anxiety barked out a laugh seeped with pain then continued, “It’s pretty obvious how, if it’s not evident I got beat to a pulp with anything in reach I think he’d take a second stab at it. As for why, it’s because he had a ‘woman of the night’ around which I obviously knew nothing of and so when I showed up at home he wanted to teach me a lesson. Which is ironic considering he’s beat me for going to college too so there seems to be no end to the madness. But honestly? I think it’s cos when mum died my dad had had nothing to do with us and would rather it had stayed that way. Now that I know what he’s like, me too.”

Prince felt figuratively sick to his stomach. Anxiety was literally sick.

The initial worry for Anxiety had not only been correct but the reality of it all was far worse. He wanted to hold the poor guy until everything was okay again. But he couldn’t. He felt helpless. Then with a moment of maturity he realised there was no point worrying how he could be of help without asking Anxiety exactly what he needed.

This is when Anxiety’s face conveyed only horror and he shifted back whilst sat in the bed. It made him look more like a terrified child than a worried young man.

“What’s up?”

“He doesn’t know where I am, does he?” He finally uttered.

Prince gawped like a fish.

“He does, he does. He’s going to come up and finish me off. Please Roman. Keep me safe.” Anxiety grasps his hand and stares him in the eyes.

While trying to calm him down, a nurse walks in, looks over them and walks to another patient. Roman can feel his skin crawl from the look but he can’t tell if the nurse is judging them or is analysing Anx. Both make him feel uneasy.

Brushing his thumb on the top of Anxiety’s hand seems to help him feel calmer. Then the nurse finishes with a patient and the day collapses in on itself.

“Due to your medical insurance running out, you are going to be transferred. Expect your bill within 30 days.” They say apathetically.

Roman can’t help himself.

“WHAT?!” He shouts. To which Anxiety tenses and he realises what he’s done wrong and turns to him.and apologises, “I’m sorry. I won’t be loud again.”

“It’s fine, I want to shout too. But my ribs are broken, thanks dad, and I don’t know how much damage it will do.” Anx smiles softly then adds, “so quoting Professor Lin, ‘indoor voices please’.“

They quietly laugh at that. They turn to find the nurse having left. The worry seeped from Anx and he gave Roman’s hand a small squeeze. At that he looked back at Anxiety meeting each others eyes. He could drown and stay stuck in his amber eyes.

“So…”

“I can’t afford another hospital bill.”

Roman thought on it all a moment, “…Mum’s a surgery GP so if you want you can stay at mine until we can find you an apartment.”

“You mean till I feel better?”

“…No. Not really. I mean, until you get an apartment. I’m not letting that guy back into your life.” Roman said, knowingly.

“I wouldn’t want to take your space,” replies Anxiety, looking at their hands instead.

“You wouldn’t.” He defends then pauses and thinks about how and why he may feel like that, “I mean if you feel like that we can find elsewhere or a friend is moving out the flatshare so you could always join. If you want?”

“Really? You wouldn’t hate it?”

“Hate it? I’d love it, Anx.”

With that, Roman tries to help him up. Unfortunately with the hospital gown it shows all the scars on his back, arms and legs. His heart went out to Anx and he tried his best to be gentle. As Anx tried to stand he could feel the pain radiating over his ribs and his mind flew back to his dad. The big bald man standing over him, surrounded by glass, in the fetal position, with his big boots stomping on the side of his torso. Again. And again. And again.

“Anx?” Prince asked softly. Half way up Anx had stopped in a daze. Then flinched a few times and he knew he would have to bring Anx out of it. Anx could hear him but he couldn’t find the ways to respond “Anx, look at me.”

When he knew Anx was trying but couldnt do it he brought hisself down to be eye to eye.

Roman put a hand through the young man’s soft hair, pushing it away from his eyes as he told him, “I will protect you. I promise. I promise I will. You’re amazing and brilliant and the highlight of my day but you need someone to take your fights. And we can do this together. I promise.”

Very slowly Anx’s eyes stopped glazing over and he looked more with it and after processing what was said he blushed and without a word rested his forehead on Roman’s and hummed. Finally, he spoke, “You’re like a knight.”

“Excuse me, I’m quite obviously a prince. A disney prince at that.”

“Haha, fine, Princey.. Wait, I’m the highlight of your day?”

Roman blushed deeply, “I mean, yeah. I.. Uh.. Think you’re great.”

Anxiety actually laughed, “I think you’re great too.. Princey.”

“Lets get you dressed and discharged shall we? Then we can talk about how great you think I am.” Prince finally remembered where they were and very slowly and a few winces involved, they stood properly. “So, how great do you think I am?”

“You haven’t got any confidence problems, do you, Roman?”

“The cutest guy I know told me he thinks I’m great, how could I possibly have a problem with that?” They smile at each other then Roman goes to tell his grandma that he’s taking Anx home to which she winks as Anx gets the clothes from the bedside table and goes to the bathroom to change.

Meeting him out in the hall, Anx leans on Roman and intertwines their hands once more as they head out.

[tinyolsen]

Odds!

o 1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? Sort of level but if anything more milko 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Post it notes, traintickets, bus tickets, anything tbho 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes if my mouth is open/ showing some teeth cos idk it feels weird but to quote my mate I have “a cheeky lil smile” so o 7: do you name your plants? I have a mini cactus called oucho (see ed and oucho from cbbc) o 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes if no one is around, I was singing in the kitchen in my uni accom and the cleaner walked in, I nearly diedo 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Bert box, hughhhhhhhh and hades without any of the weird shito 13: what’s something that made you smile today? I went to a talk by sunny Jacobs and peter pringle and when they said we have 4 goats and live together, I beamed they are sooo cute (btw look them up their story is amazing)o 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Venus is 462 Co 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I wont dye it but like dark blue/ black like gabriella in hsm 2o 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I do I have three, one for cute memories, one for random facts and one that has doodles in it mainly of my dogo 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My fav bag is no bag ever, cos effort to carry but my mufc hold all, has been to football tournaments, dance shows, America and back and its now under my bed at uni with spare towels and tea towels ino 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Play guitar, catch up on tv just chill, don’t think about work, go to the park and just sit and take pictures, dance in the kitchen (opps thing)o 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? I have never broken in anywhere o 27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Cherry o 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? one of them does a sideways smile when you say her nameo 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love patterned socks, football socks, trainer socks, slipper socks, but I have to wear just plain black trainer socks otherwise I think someone is judging me, but I really love my monkey and banana ones they are burgundy I also just got iron man, spiderman and captain America ones from my mateo 33: what’s your fave pastry? Puff, comes ready rolled, is vegan and I use it to make cheese straws for my flatmates (I have just been told that this means pastry thing, in which case cheese straws) o 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yessssss! I just bought purple and blue highlighters cos I had to get rid of my old ones (long story) and they are awesomeo 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I like it lived in but not messy, and clean o 39: what color do you wear the most? blacko 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, its just inspiredo 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Someone who I dated for a bit but id like to forget that plsssso 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? lol noo 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Custard o 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Not really cos I often don’t like full albums, unless its Rumors – Fleetwood mac but I bought when you love someone (acoustic) – James TW on itunes if that countso 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? My brother and little things cos we have a funny joke with it (funny to us)o 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? yes, no, no , yes/ loved it, n/a, n/a, and loved it.o 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? eaten a tub of ice cream to prove that I could bite ice cream for more than just one bite, I stared the girl in the face and bit every spoonfulo 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? Awake, course, you are lying if you say you don’to 59: what’s your favorite myth? The Trojan horse was the first one I ever learnt in year four and it will always be my fave, but Icarus and Daedalus comes closeo 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? This all happened this Christmas, I gave my dad a mug saying “im retired (emphasis on the tired)” and my mum gave me bin bags (im an excellent gift giver just ask my family, I out do them all every year) o 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?  As long as the books are upright with small in the middle, large at each side idm, and my music is on specific playlists on my phone (i.e fast walking playlist, chill walk playlist)o 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? Quite a few people from school, and the three awesome people who made my dance class epic (going to uni and leaving them sucks)o 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Awesome, if im okay anyway cos its so prettyo 69: what are your favorite board games? Monopoly cos I rule at it, block us and scrabble with my grandparents cos they like to use non English words/ made up oneso 71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Good ol’ cuppa (Yorkshire tea bags) o 73: what are some of your worst habits? I isolate myself, blank out, cant react to other peoples emotions and I pop my shoulder in and outo 75: tell us about your pets! Omggg, Alfie the cute lil puppy is my bae, hes the light of my life, hes a cavalier king Charles spaniel and he’s the best boy, the only guy bar my lil brother I trust. And then my rabbit, leon the lion lop, died just before xmas, I miss the lil fluff but he was the cuddliest thingo 77: pink or yellow lemonade? After learning that this probably means American style lemonade, yellow. But uk style, lucazade pinks one is pengo 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My best mate gives my the best handmade cards all the time, that and a date gave my guitar picks with my name on onceo 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. grey pebbles imagine if you put the clearest water blue stripped though out it or a grey and blue stepsil mushed together o 83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Idk tbh not gonna lieo 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? On and off, and probs the one amazing fantasy ive reado 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Dead poets society, 50/50 and some others I cant think ofo 89: are you close to your parents? Ish, um naho 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Back home and idk where else yeto 93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Side parting and just brushed, nothing fancyo 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Do uni worko 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Infj, Aquarius and ive had Hufflepuff, ravenclaw and Gryffindor in recent weekso 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Scars to your beautiful, facing west cover and halo- lewis Watson

thank you :)