#ive had to explain over and over again to people asking the same questions over and over again until they finally realize

[awkwardarmadildo]

to add on to the humans are space orcs/earth is the universe's australia, sensing. my therapist has recently explained that its not normal the way i know who and where someone is by their footsteps. not just the sound, but the vibrations. if someone isnt purposely walking on light feet, i can tell who and where they are, even with headphones blaring. imagine a human on a ship and the awe-filled terror itd earn from their non-human crewmates.

edit: ive realized i wasnt clear enough in my intentions. im not saying "if you can tell peoples footsteps apart, youve been ✨️ T R A U M A T I Z E D ✨️ d-(^♡^)-b ". its about the inherent panic in Not hearing the steppies and therefore Not having the time to prepare yourself for whoever might be approaching and essentially being ambushed. also, being able to tell if someone is normalTM, happy, sad, et cetera. the combined terror of not being given time to make oneself "presentable" for whoevers coming, And Also whoever has just seemingly teleported is fucking pissed, which is never good. Anyways, enjoy!!! ＼(^o^)／

Gilith enters the library, searching for Human Raven. They seem to be found most often either here or in one of the many gardens on the ship. Human Alex said he'd likely find them here today.

Gilith pokes his head through the doorway, not seeing Human Raven, but before he can move on, a voice calls out from one of the high-backed chairs decorating the library.

"Hello Lithy, what do you need?"

Gilith sputters, "Wha- Human Raven, how did you know it was me?" Gilith makes his way over to the chair that held Human Raven in a twisted knot that, when Human Raven stood up, would surely leave a horrifying crunch Human Alex had likened to a human candy that exploded in one's mouth.

"You've got some loud stompers, Lithy."

"I do not know what that means, Human Raven."

Raven stands, causing Gilith to flinch at many snaps and crackles of their bones settling into place, and smiles up at his towering form.

"What did you need?"

Gilith notices more and more Human Raven's greetings. He thought maybe they could hear him coming, but they greeted him while wearing ear speakers, the volume so loud, Gilith could hear it from a few feet away.

Humans did not have psychic skills, and the only other human who seemed capable of a preemptive greeting was Human Alex. The two seemed to share all of their off-hours, so maybe that was where he could find his answers.

Gilith scoured the many gardens, stopping just outside of the doorway. He could hear Human Alex and Human Raven chattering to each other, but neither seemed to notice his presence.

In an attempt not to disturb them, he walked with what Human Bea had described as "tip-toes". A challenging feat, considering his round flat feet, but he managed.

Both Human Raven and Human Alex had their backs to him, so he coughed in the same way Human Bea often did to get everyone's attention.

The reaction he got was unexpected when both Human Raven and Human Alex flinched so hard their shoulders seemed to lock.

"My apologies! I didn't mean to startle you," he rushed over, but stopped short when they both flinched again. He recoiled his hand.

"It's ok, Lithy," Raven says, voice slightly choked. "Just give us a sec."

"Oh. Okay." Gilith turned his eyes down.

"What-" Alex started, his voice sounding as though it was rubbed raw. He cleared his throat and tried again. "What can we do for you, Gilith?"

"I did not have anything specific to talk to you about. I wanted to..." he trails off. "I wanted to inform you of the new plants we are picking up at the next trade planet."

Gilith feels his face twist with the lie, but now didn't seem like a good time to ask.

His desire to understand, however, doesn't fade after the incident. It only makes his hunger grow.

Instead of bothering Human Alex or Human Raven, Gilith decides to ask Human Bea, who does not sense him before he greets her.

"Hello, Human Bea."

"Yes, hello, Gilith. Is everything okay?"

"I have question."

Bea tilts her head. "Ask away."

"Are you- humans- able to detect someone before you see them?"

Bea's face softens into an aching sort of frown. "Not naturally."

"What do you mean?"

She takes a breath, seemingly preparing herself. "Well, most people are able to live in a relatively safe place. But some people aren't as lucky. Some people have to memorize the falls of others' feet. It's a learned survival tactic."

"I don't understand," Gilith says, his face wrinkling in confusion.

"Some people aren't safe, so for the ones who weren't born with the good luck of a safe home, they have to know who and where someone is. They have to know if they need to hide or prepare themself. They have to know if they're in danger or not."

Gilith feels his whole body go slack as a wave of sadness washes over him at the memory of Human Raven and Human Alex's reaction to his sudden appearance.

"I have loud stompers."

Bea's face scrunches up as though she's trying not to laugh. "You do. You have safe stompers, too."

[keerysfreckles]

ok, so I saw your Newsies smau and I was thinking...

Reader plays Eurydice on Hadestown and a while back she broke up with her toxic ex. But then she meets one of the drivers (u can choose which one) at a show one day and yk they fall in love. Inspired by the song All I've Ever Known from Hadestown.

This is hyper specific and u can ignore this, I'm just rambling here

all i've ever known — LN4

pairing: lando norris x bway!reader

warnings: slight smut, allusions to smut, not proofread

a/n: sorry not sorry but ive never listened to the hadestown soundtrack SO going off the vibes of the show and what i know of it from tiktok 🤞🤞

masterlist !

⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚

for the past three months oscar has been begging lando to go to a broadway show with him. every time the brit is asked, he argues that lily should go with oscar. which he denies, explaining lily's hate towards musicals.

yes, maybe oscar was trying to set up one of his closest friends with his teammate. what could be so bad about him trying to be a good wing man?

after asking non stop during the weekend, lando finally agreed to fly to new york with oscar.

on the plane, oscar tried his best to explain the musical to lando. lando however only got more confused as oscar kept talking, so he opted to look it up on google instead.

"why are you so insistent with me going with you anyway? there's 18 other drivers to pick from," lando asks as he and oscar walk through the streets of new york, on their way to the theater. oscar kept looking down at his phone at google maps, displaying the directions to the address.

"first off, you're the closest friend i have on the grid. and second, there's someone i want you to meet."

lando chuckles, "so this was just to set me up?" oscar simply nods. "does my love life seem that depressing to you?"

oscar doesn't answer as they arrive at the theater, already having a large line queued. the mclaren drivers wait in line, signing things and taking pictures here and there as the line continues moving.

both men are handed a playbill at the entrance, to which lando immediately flips through as oscar leads them to their seats.

oscar points out to lando his friend, y/n, in the small booklet. her black and white picture is at the top of the second page, along with a male, who lando could only guess was the other lead in the show.

"your friend is the lead?" lando asks in shock.

oscar laughs, "yeah, she's actually going to school for musical theater at nyu."

lando whistles and looks through the cast again, now noticing a certain celebrity who's playing the male lead.

"jordan fisher?"

oscar only laughs again at his over enthusiastic friend. "you know, for someone who kept saying no, you seem pretty excited to be here."

before lando could come up with a proper comeback, the lights started dimming in the theater, hushing the crowd.

oscar kept stealing glances towards lando throughout the whole show. he couldn't help but smile as his face lit up as y/n first stepped out on stage.

lando looked like a kid in a candy store. his cheeks flushed and eyes wide, with a smile adorning his features.

at intermission lando immediately started praising y/n towards oscar, telling him how she was made for the stage.

"why don't you tell her that?"

lando only furrowed his eyebrows in response.

"at the end of the show people wait by the stage door to hopefully meet the cast. y/n promised she'd meet us out there."

the two continued talking. oscar answering any questions lando had about the show so far.

the second act of the show went the same as the first, lando being in awe of y/n and oscar smiling at his friend because of his actions.

intentional or not, oscar could tell lando already thought highly of y/n. now the australian could only hope they'd get along once they met.

as soon as the lights dimmed on stage, the audience roared in applause and cheers.

oscar and lando cheered louder when y/n stepped forward, there was no surprise there.

now the duo was waiting outside the theater, their arms wrapped around themselves to try and keep them warm in the chilly new york wind.

"you alright? you seem kind of nervous," oscar states, noticing lando swaying more then usual. a nervous habit he's picked up on over the past year or so.

lando simply shrugs. he was not about to share with oscar how he might've just fallen in love with girl on stage. he never believed in love at first sight before, but now his mind has been changed.

the stage doors opened, revealing y/n and her costar jordan fisher. both were eager to meet the fans who waited, and signed pictures and other items, as well as take pictures with the fans and answer any questions they had.

as y/n was finishing signing a picture for a fan, oscar called her over.

"oscar!" y/n giggled as she jogged towards him and lando.

oscar hugged and congratulated her, lando doing the same.

"so you're the famous lando he keeps talking about," y/n smiles up at him, taking in his features for the first time.

lando laughed before looking at oscar, "what on earth have you told her about me?"

"nothing bad don't worry," oscar pats his shoulder, as y/n simply chuckles.

⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚

three weeks have passed since y/n and lando met. they were lucky enough to get each other's phone numbers before departing on the night they met. the two haven't stopped talking since.

lando told y/n he'd be back in new york with his close friend max.

y/n couldn't help but grow excited at the news, counting down the few days until lando would be back in the states.

to add to the surprise of lando showing up, he was currently waiting outside the stage door, just like last time when he was here.

he made sure to keep the secret of being in the audience tonight, knowing how happy it would make y/n once she saw him there.

just like every other night, y/n was talking with the fans, simply going down the line taking pictures and signing items.

it was when she turned, "lando!" she laughed, finally noticing the brit standing off to the side.

she ran towards him, jumping against him to tackle him in a hug. he held his arms out, prepared for impact as he spun her around once.

"i thought you were getting here tomorrow," y/n holds onto his biceps as he sets her down, his hands never leaving her waist.

"i convinced my friend to leave a day early. mainly 'cause you had a show tonight."

"lan, that is so sweet," the nickname fell right off her tongue. lando couldn't help but feel his cheeks warm as she said it.

"only issue is he's still getting here tomorrow," lando frowns slightly, "he was busy filming a video for quadrant."

y/n nods in understanding, then an idea hits her. "well if you don't have a hotel already, you could stay at my apartment?"

lando chooses to ignore the feeling in his chest as she asked, simply nodding.

"great! my cars just parked in the garage behind the theater," y/n boldly grabs a hold of his hand, not that he'd complain for one second about it.

"sorry it's not as fancy as your many mclarens," y/n laughs as the two get in the small car.

"it suits you," lando smiles, sending a shiver down y/n's spine.

the continue continue talking on the way to y/n's apartment. the conversation flowing from lando's hobbies, to y/n's least favorite food, and to what they like to do on their free time.

"it might be a bit messy," y/n states as she unlocks the door.

lando looks around after stepping inside. the walls of the living room are decorated just as he imagined, colorful yet collected. everything went together.

"are you hungry? or just tired?" y/n asks.

"i'm insanely jet lagged, but was worth it staying up to see you perform again," he smiled, watching as a blush made it ways to y/n's cheeks.

"are you okay with the couch?"

lando nods, watching the girl get two blankets and a pillow from somewhere in a room down the hallway. lando guessed it was from her own room.

y/n now noticed lando was still wearing jeans, knowing their not the most comfortable item to sleep in.

after finding a pair of extra large sweatpants and a larger shirt for lando, the two exchanged goodnight. y/n closed her door as she heard the netflix app loading on her living room tv.

what both y/n and lando weren't aware of, is how they couldn't get the other out of their heads.

lando thought about how close he and y/n have gotten in the past month. he only wanted to know more about her.

y/n was in the same boat in her room, as she kept tossing and turning, messing up her sheets more and more. of course she would admit she likes lando, just never to his face.

she loved when he was around, and only wished he was around whenever the two were apart.

five minutes pass as y/n's done contemplating about the ordeal. 'now or never' she tells herself while getting out of her bed. she takes a deep breath before opening her bedroom door.

"lan?"

lando was stood in front of her, equally as startled. she notices his hand raised slightly, she could only guess he was going to knock on her door.

lando's gaze flickers between y/n's eyes, before silently pulling her face towards his. her hands immediately fall to his waist while their lips collide.

he simply pushes forward, guiding them into her room as the kiss only grows more heated.

y/n moans into lando's mouth as his teeth graze her bottom lip. the two's lips stay connected as y/n's legs hit her bed.

their heavy panted breaths mix as y/n brings lando's shirt over his head. she can't help but stare at his toned body, blushing as he catches her in the act.

lando helps her lean back onto her bed, kissing down her exposed neck, his pants growing tighter at the feeling of her fingers gripping onto his curls.

"lan," y/n mumbles, "lando," she calls again.

he looks down at her, his pupils wide and breathing jagged. "yeah?"

"do you want this? like really want this?" y/n asks, not wanting to force anything on him.

lando quickly nods, "y/n i've never been more sure of anything."

he leans down to kiss her, this one being slower than before. a silent agreement between the two, both knowing how they needed this.

[starker-raving-mads]

For you: Part V

This is the part I was waiting for. :)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX

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Peter hadn't slept a wink in two days.

"Baby, come on, you're scaring me here," Aunt May said, frown firmly on her face as she ran her hands through the teen's hair. Peter had been at their small dining table, coffee in hand, bags under his eyes, when May woke up, took one look at him, and realized his insomnia had kicked in again. "Is it the noises again?"

Peter often couldn't sleep because the city was too loud. Even louder now than it had been before, because there was so much more construction and angry shouting from people still trying to make space for themselves in a world that had been half empty a few months ago. That wasn't why he couldn't sleep this time, his mind too entrenched in Tony Stark missed you to shut down. He hummed in agreement to Aunt May, though. Let her think it's the sound, there's no way he could possibly explain the reality.

She pet his hair for another minute, soothing the both of them in the same ritualistic maternal way she always had, before she took his face in both her hands and made him look at her.

"You need to get some sleep," she said, tone firm. "And I know you can't just - turn off the Spider-Man thing," she huffed before he could protest. "But maybe - maybe you could sleep in the penthouse. I know it's quieter there than it is here." She sounded hesitant saying it, and Peter knew why.

Despite it having been months since the will reading and his life having been irrevocably changed, despite feeling comfortable with what was left of the Avengers and spending time in Tony's - his - lab, he hadn't set foot into the penthouse. It felt too raw. Too intimate. Too much.

"No, May, I'll be fine," he protested weakly. He sighed and ran a hand over his face, thankful it would be months yet before his first semester at Columbia started. He could get a hold of himself by then, right?

"Peter Parker," May's voice was sharp. "I will not have you getting yourself sick because of this. If you can't find a way to nap today, here, you're going to spend the night at the penthouse I don't care what you have to say, mister."

That was how, 12 hours later, he found himself at the elevator exit to the Stark Tower penthouse, bag of clothes in hand.

"Mother, would you like to come in?" Friday asked. Her tone was curious, not sure why Peter had just been standing inside the open elevator when the door to the Penthouse was right there. Humans were strange.

"I - yeah, sure, baby girl, sorry," he said, shaking his head.

If being in Mr. Stark's labs was enough to make his inner voice echo he missed you, he missed you, he missed you then being in his penthouse was enough for it to say you miss him right back. The living room was much the same as the last time he'd seen it, though a little sparser. Pictures of Tony and Pepper were now missing, the random pieces of artwork that had lined the walls were conspicuous in their absence, and the caddy that normally held his favorite, ultra-soft blanket he used during movie nights was gone.

He set his bag down on the sleek waterfall counter of the open kitchen and wandered the space, feeling Tony's absence like a discordant note in a song.

"Friday, what happened to - Mr. Stark's stuff?" he asked, not really sure how to phrase the question. There was a lot missing there, like the blankets, some of the pillows, even Mr. Stark's desk.

"Boss moved a lot of the items that were here out when he and Ms. Potts officially moved to the cabin," the AI said before continuing. "Then, after his death and the will reading, Ms. Potts sent movers up to retrieve last minute items."

He frowned.

"Lock everything down that belongs to me, that was Mr. Stark's," he asked. "I don't want anyone coming in or out without my express permission. I don't like the thought of her taking things that don't belong to her."

"Yes, Mother. If you would like, I can send a request through official channels to get any missing items back?"

He sighed. "No," he grumbled. "It's fine, I don't think anything serious was taken - she didn't grab any of the tech did she?"

"No, it was primarily artwork, sculptures, furniture, and other such items," Friday replied. "There were a few things, like blankets, books, and vinyl records she also retrieved. I am sorry if anything was taken that you had wished to remain, Mother." The intelligence sensed his slight distress and her tone had shifted to slightly sorrowful.

"It's fine, sweetheart," he sighed. "You didn't know and it wasn't anything too important."

He walked the rest of the penthouse, the floor very familiar to him. He had his own room here from crashing after too-late lab binges, and sometimes he and Tony would skip the lab all together for a 'day off' and watch movies, order pizza, and just relax. Not every hallway or room had memories, but enough did to the point that the reminders were becoming more of a dull ache than the sharp stabs he'd been expecting.

Walking down the hallway where the bedrooms were, he peered into his own. Officially it was a guest room, but it had been Peter's for long enough that a few of his clothes were stuffed into the drawers of the dresser, one of his favorite pillows was tossed onto the bed, and his old, half-broken laptop was on the desk. He smiled softly. His new laptop - still new to him, despite it having been months (years) in his possession - had come from Mr. Stark after he'd watched Peter fix his DIY one too many times.

"Here, kid," the older man had said, thunking down a sleek piece of silver tech in front of him. "I'm tired of watching you try to bring Frankenstein to life over here."

"You mean Frankenstein's Monster," Peter had replied, smiling up at the man playfully. Tony rolled his eyes and huffed a laugh before walking away. "Thank you, sir!"

"Yeah, yeah, just try to keep your Monster away from me." A wink, and he was on the other side of the room.

Stepping away from his room, he walked further down the hallway, to an area of the penthouse he'd never actually explored - Mr. Stark's bedroom. And, realistically, it was Mr. Stark's. He knew that Ms. Potts had infinitely preferred the brownstone that she was left in Manhattan to the sleek, open views of the penthouse. Peter didn't think he'd ever seen her around the apartment, and from what Mr. Stark said, she'd only stayed over in the early days of their relationship and hadn't spent time here after it became Avenger Tower, and then Stark Tower again.

Peter couldn't really bring himself to feel bad about being so happy over that fact, either when he learned it, or now, as he opened up Tony's bedroom and walked inside.

The room was low-lit, with most of the light coming from the entire wall of windows to one side, city lights gleaming in like stars. There was a patio with a hot tub just outside the barrier of the windows and the silent, faint muffle of city life beyond. This room, in particular, was quiet. Peter had to wonder if it was actually more soundproofed than the rest of the penthouse, or if it was just in his head.

The bed was made, all dark wood and metal platform with deep blue-gray sheets on top. The comforter was probably the softest thing he'd ever felt and god, the smell. It felt like Tony had just left the room, smell lingering across every surface - rich, spicy and musky. Something indulgent and instinctual made Peter toe off his shoes and, still fully dressed, get into the bed.

He covered his head with the blankets and laid in the silent dark, surrounded by Mr. Stark - his scent, his belongings, feeling like he was finally where he was meant to be. His throat closed up with emotions he barely willed away.

Uncovering his head again, he said to Friday, "Fri, turn out the lights and wake me up at 9?", before shimmying out of his jeans. He laid there for a long time before, at long last, sleep took him.

For the first time since he returned from the Blip - and to be honest, probably from before then too - he had no nightmares. No buildings crushing him, no existential pain of being disintegrated, no Mr. Stark covered in blood, light dying in his eyes.

Instead, he was surrounded in warmth and an amazing scent. His senses tingled in the best way, like everything was as it should be. Mind quiet, muscles finally losing their tension. It was perfect.

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Over the course of the next month, Peter split his time pretty evenly between his and May's apartment and Tony's penthouse. He loved May, and he didn't want to leave her alone after so long, but there was something that just felt right about being at the penthouse. She seemed to understand, and said that as long as he still came by to see her a few times a week and they talked on the phone every day that she wouldn't begrudge him the independence. It was a relief to her, he thought, to see him becoming more stable rather than wallowing in depression.

This was probably the biggest change, thus far, since becoming Tony's heir. That, the amount of messages Friday received bugging him for interviews with any and all media outlets, and working on Tony's 'Peter Project.'

A few days after stumbling on the billionaire's research into recreating organic intelligence, Peter decided to pick the project back up again. No matter that it made his heart squeeze almost painfully, he felt like he had to complete it. It was the man's last big effort and it felt wrong to leave it undone.

He'd spent most of his free time - when not with May, his friends, or patrolling - pouring over the data. He couldn't quite figure out why Mr. Stark had ceased his efforts as once Peter found the digital files for the project it looked as if the man had been practically finished.

Huffing out a frustrated breath, he asked, "Baby girl, I swear he made this difficult on purpose. Why did Mr. Stark stop looking into this?"

Could it simply have been that once it was within the man's grasp that it hurt too much to complete?

"Boss was unable to gather enough data that represented the you variable in the Peter Project to continue," she replied.

"What does that mean?" he asked, puzzled.

"The amount of information that needs to be analyzed simply was not enough," Friday explained. "The algorithm to extrapolate and recreate your personality, intelligence, and mannerisms needed approximately 130,000 hours of footage, metabolic data, and other such information before being able to provide a close approximation of what makes Peter, Peter."

The teen did the math in his head before his eyes widened. "15 years??"

"That is correct, Mother," there was that amusement laced within the AI's tone again. If Peter was right, it was happening more often. It made him proud to see his little AI start to grow up. "And since you are only 18 years old currently, this would have been an impossible task. Ideally, the 15 years worth of data would have been collected post-adolescence, as well, to cement what was Peter from what was Little Peter."

Peter hummed in understanding, leaning back into the couch. He crossed his arms behind his head and sat thinking for long, long moments as ideas formed in his head.

He sat upright as something occurred to him.

"Friday?" he asked, nerves making his voice waver.

"Yes, Mother?"

"How much data do you have on Mr. Stark? Like - " he gulped before continuing " - like the data needed for the Peter Project?"

She paused before saying, "As I have access to Jarvis's data as well as my own, I have approximately 144,540 hours of appropriate data."

His nerves tingled, every fiber of his being screaming at him - stop, go, do, don't. He shouldn't. He really shouldn't. But - but it was a way to get Mr. Stark back. Some semblance of him. A fairly accurate representation, at least, right?

"What's the latest data that you have access to for Mr. Stark?" he asked instead of saying what he really, really shouldn't. He would stop here and now if it was pre-Blip. He couldn't bring a Tony back that didn't have those -

"The final files I have appropriate for this measure are concurrent with the fight against Thanos," Friday said helpfully. "Technically speaking, as well, if you allow me to access Karen's records I would be able to shore up my data with that which was obtained via her recordings."

His heart stopped. Then, it raced.

"Okay baby," he finally said, mind running a million miles an hour now, standing and rushing to his desk. His hands flew, opening new files and folders, copying data, working. "We're opening a new project and I want you to copy over all the data from the Peter Project to it, okay?"

"Yes, Mother." Friday paused, deliberating. "May I ask what this is in reference to?"

"Yeah," he said, mind already ten steps ahead. "We're going to bring Mr. Stark back. Name the new project 'Tony Only Needs You'."

TONY.

[shunchitaro]

Chishiya x GN!Reader

Genre: Angst (TW: Death, mentions of being stabbed by a glass shard, possibly rushed oneshot) Romantic In which Chishiya makes it out of the borderlands and remembers everything, including losing you.

["Lights are on But nobody's home"]

"Game complete"

The last thing Chishiya remembered was laying slouched against a car holding his bleeding side, then fireworks, then nothing.

The next thing he hears after being completely knocked out is the beeping of what he knows is a heart monitor. He opens his eyes slowly to see a doctor standing beside someone he couldn't make out yet, since his eyesight was adjusting to the lights; and he could slowly hear the doctors voice increase to more than just something muffled.

"..for a minute your heart stopped, as well as the person beside you. It's a miracle you're alive, you both were in the border between life and death."

Border. Life and death.

Chishiya's head turned to the side after the doctor left, coming face to face with a male with long black hair up to his shoulders. His eyebrows knit together in confusion. He felt like he knew who this was, but couldn't put a finger to it.

"Seriously? Out of all people, I have to be next to you?" The male mumbled, and Chishiya instantly recognized the sharp tone.

"Niragi?"

"Yeah, who else? Did you want it to be Y/N?"

Y/N?

Chishiya stared at the ceiling. Y/N? Who was that? Why did he feel a tug at his heart, hearing their name?

"That look on your face tells me you don't remember who they are." Niragi spoke up again, and Chishiya turned to him.

"You know, you guys were incredibly soppy. After that King of Spades game, you wouldn't let go of them, begging them to hold on because it was almost over. I never imagined you'd be capable to cry over someone" Niragi snickers

Then it hits Chishiya.

They were in the borderlands fighting the King of Spades, and Y/N had helped Arisu lead the King to the pharmacy, where they blew him up. He also remembered seeing Y/N tumble into the gravel, a glass shard protruding from their chest. He remembered holding them close, begging them to hold on a little while longer, because everything was going to be just fine.

He sat up suddenly, ripping the IV cords off himself and heading out ignoring Niragi's protests. He quickly walked down the hall, searching for the main desk.

He needed to see them, to make sure they made it.

"Excuse me, was there a patient named Y/N L/N here?" He asks urgently, and the nurse goes through the file. "Room 603-" Chishiya interrupted with a quick 'thank you' before hurrying off, not wanting to waste a single second.

Room 600, Room 601, Room 602-

"Y/N!" He burst into the room only to freeze in the doorway to see Kuina holding into their pale hand, tears in her eyes. He gave her a questioning look, and she shook her head slowly.

No.

"Chishiya.. they got them here safely, but they lost a lot of blood due to the glass in their chest. They were able to last through the week, but they were too weak today." She explained

Please no.

He went up to them, holding their hand. It felt cold and limp against his skin, and he held their hand to his cheek as he gazed at their peaceful figure.

One whole week. They were here one whole week, and he missed it.

<><><><>

He got discharged and headed home seeing his lights were still on exactly how he'd left it during the borderlands. He remembered taking Y/N here, how they'd hugged out the possible last few minutes of the games away. How they'd finally confessed their love for one another, after so long.

"Chishiya, what if I told you I loved you?" He glanced at Y/N, caressing their cheek, a small smile on his face. "What if I told you I felt the same?"

He wished he could've told them a little earlier, if only he hadn't wasted precious time secretly admiring Y/N.

If he did, would they be together? Would Y/N still be on the couch lazing with a book and hot cocoa, greeting Chishiya with a hug and a 'welcome back'?

Chishiya was home but it felt empty.

Empty, because they were no longer there.

[cloudcountry]

I wanted to ask why you hated Idia so much back then and the reason you adore him?

im gonna start telling people to pay me whenever they ask why i hate(d) idia because ive got this question easily 20 different times and frankly i'm losing money by not accepting payment

im not writing all that again i'm so tired of explaining it over and over ughhhh its not your fault min its just i seem to be a skipping record with how often i've had to repeat the same thing over and over and over for a YEAR and people just KEEP ASKING like ok you want to know about my relationship with idia shroud PAY UP!!!!!

anyways...i havent written about the things i adore about him yet so...

first first first!! the thing that made me gasp the softest gasp i have ever gasped in my life when i first saw it...his pink hair. its a bit superficial i guess but now that i like idia i think he's stunning. he's so hauntingly beautiful, especially when he's just a little bit flustered and the tips of his hair turn pink. what i would do to see his whole head turn pink PLEASE.

i also think his smile is so silly, even though it's usually accompanied by his smug ass voice "should'a leveled up more!" SHUT UP!!!!! i love his sharp teeth theyre so goofy nd silly but in a cute way. honestly i think his scowl is cute too, idk maybe i just like his lips but watching them twist up in annoyance when he rolls his eyes is attractive to me dont ask i dont know either. does that say something about me? maybe. i'm content with not knowing.

onto less superficial things...i just finished reading book six yesterday and it struck me how idia's heart is genuinely so beautiful. he loves so gently and fully, but with devotion that would destroy the world if he let it loose. being loved and treasured by idia is a privilege, because once he lets you in he would do anything for you (just dont fuck it up or i will beat you up im being so serious LEAVE HIM ALONE)

the extent to which he cares for ortho is so beautiful and so heartbreaking. "leave it to your big bro" im dead. everything he does is for ortho to have a safe and fulfilling life and honestly...it kind of seems like idia is trying to pay ortho back in a sense? like you died (because of me), now i will spend the rest of my life mourning you as punishment. he wants to give him the best life possible and thats just so ourgourgouhgohou,,,, his grieving is so complex and yet its so simple. heartbreaking i tell you.

on a lighter note, he's very passionate about the things he's into as well. one thing about figuring our how to like idia was turning my reaction to his condescending jabs from "oh he's such a know it all bitch what the hell people are literally just indulging in his interests what is wrong with him?" TO "oh he's just excited and getting an adrenaline rush, it's going to his head. he's happy. :)" and that was absolutely growth on my part because. ok AUBURN LORE TIME but i used to have a friend who was very condescending and a HUGE know it all (irl IRL IRL) and i think they definitely impacted how i saw idia because i saw bits of them in him. and since they hurt me so much i projected my experiences with them onto idia, so the first time i met him in game i wrote him off immediately and hated him after i saw what he said to others and how he acted.

but one of the many problems with that approach was that i missed the gentler sides of him. the way he goes back to school for ortho. the way he powers through the masquerade social for ortho. his idea of yuu being "valuable emotional support." his love of cats, regardless of how bad he scared grim. his love of star rogue and the way he made the sequel actually happen, albiet unintentionally. i spent so much time resenting him because "of course he's just another one of those." that i didn't stop to notice anything about him except for those bad moments. and of course, i'm not ignoring them now, i just see them differently. i see him differently.

of course i love that he's relatable, and that he's smart, and i love how when he's comfortable he loses his filter and becomes idia shroud instead of just being Scared of them, but i think that's just. social anxiety. and yk what ive said this before but even when i hated him i would NOT stand for anyone coming for his anxiety. like yeah i hate idia shroud but BITCH GET AWAY FROM HIM. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ANXIETY IS LIKE!!! put me in nrc right now idia shroud needs someone who will yell at people for him and thats going to be ME. i dont care who you are you say shit you are earning my IRE. trey clover got yelled at. no one is safe.

can i just say i love how you said "reason" like there's only one JDSJSDJSD LMAO IDK IT WAS JUST FUNNY TO ME when i love someone i have multiple reasons and i love every part of them, even the bad annoying icky parts (in fact, if you can't love their bad parts too is it even love...? i dont know, we all have different definitions anyway. some might think tolerating their bad parts is love too and we'd both be right.) theres no one reason i just think he's lovely inside and out now. he's an angel, basically.

[minimomoe]

Love Bites pt. 6

There's nothing you hate more than the hospital.

Baker Fem Reader x Toji Fushiguro (mafia au)

word ct: 15.1k, 11 Chapters

Chapters: I. II. III. IV. V. VI. VII. VIII. IX. X. XI.

Preview: Toji’s answer was another wave of tears from you. He hates to hear you cry so hard, and he hates that he’s so far away from you...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Six: Warm Water

“I spent Thanksgiving with somebody who wasn’t Rina this time around. I’m sure you guessed it, so yes, it was with Toji and his family,” you smile. “They have such different personalities but I can tell they really care for each other. I almost started crying in the middle of it.” 

You recount the last couple of weeks to Ezra while wiping him down with a warm towel. You know that the nurses do the same but you want to do something for him as well. You gently lay him back into the bed and dip the towel into the bowl of water beside you. “I guess you can say that we’re dating now. Well not that I guess, Toji said that. Actually, he asked to be together and I agreed. He wouldn’t force anything on me,” you explain to him. “Maybe it’s because I haven’t been in a relationship in so long but everything is so exciting. He still visits the shop when he can, but now I spend the weekends with him and his son.”

Your eyes widen as you realize what you admitted to your brother. “Before you get upset, Megumi’s a real sweet kid. And there’s no ex wife or girlfriend that I’m dealing with. I think the mom may have passed away, but I will wait for them to tell me when they’re ready. I think you’d like Megumi. He loves animals. I told him that you were a vet and he had so many questions that only you could answer,” you smile apologetically. “He has a little journal of different animals and their traits, then he gives those animals to different people in his life. Toji is a wolf. Yuji is a tiger. That’s Megumi’s best friend who he loves very much, even if he won’t admit it. Nobara is a fox. That’s his other best friend. Gojo’s a peacock, Nanami is a great white shark, Sukuna’s a bear, and Choso’s a jellyfish. You’ll know who I’m talking about when you wake up.” 

You push a thick curl out of Ezra’s face. “I should give you a haircut,” you mutter. You clutch your hand in a fist next to his head. “It’s not that I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You know that I’m a hopeless romantic. I fell in love too many times to count,” you chuckle to yourself. You pull your hand back into your lap and sigh. “But with him I feel… I feel safe. I realize that before I was always waiting for the ball to drop, for another horrific incident to blindside me, but I haven’t felt that impending doom hanging over my head in a while.” You release a shuddering breath and blink up at the fluorescent lights to avoid crying. 

“I’m starting to clean up their house. I found mom’s cookbooks, if you can even call them that. You know she had that doctor handwriting that’s impossible to read. I also know that she never really measured anything, so all those recipes are her estimating,” you laugh softly. “I’m thinking about making those cardamon lumps she used to make for us during the holidays for Toji. I also have no idea what to get him for Christmas. Oh, speaking of getting things, I got you another book!” You dig in your bag to retrieve the new book. 

You give a small smile. “It’s called Before the Coffee Gets Cold. It’s a book about time traveling, surprisingly. I won’t spoil it too much, but I would love to travel back to talk to mom and dad again, even if it won’t change anything. They even have an old cafe that they always went to that could work like the book.”

 Before you could say another word a monitor above Ezra’s head started to beep rapidly. You look at it with concern, unsure of what the machine was reading. Within seconds the other monitors screech as well. You watch in horror while red flashes on all of the screens. Ezra’s expression hasn’t changed, but you rush out of the room, screaming for a nurse or anybody to come help. A few orderlies hear your distress, alerting nearby nurses that run to your location. They all swarm to Ezra’s side, checking his vitals and yelling codes at each other. You watch helplessly behind them. Another orderly tries to pull you away from the scene but you stood stock still.

“Ma’am, you need to leave the room now.”

“Will he be okay? What’s going on?”

“He’s getting the best treatment possible, but please, you can’t stay here.”

“What’s wrong with him? What are they saying?”

“Ma’am please,” the orderly gives you a pained look.

Tears swim in your eyes when you look back onto the bed. A swirl of green, blue and white mix together when the tears get heavy enough. You allow yourself to be pulled away from the room as ordered, leaving the nurses and now doctor to treat your brother. You are led to the waiting room by yourself. The orderly offers to get water but you wave her away. You pace back and forth in the small space, your mind running wild with all the worst possibilities. In haste you trip over your own feet, stumbling into a chair at the last second to avoid hurting yourself, but everything hurts. Your heart clenches, your stomach is churning, your breaths are shallow. With shaky hands you grab your phone, pressing the first contact on your call log. With two rings the line picks up, and you're greeted with Toji’s deep voice. 

“Hey baby, how are you?”

You can’t speak. The grief is too much, an invisible hand that constricts your throat so that only a choked sob falls from your lips. You want to explain what’s happening but fail again. Toji starts to panic on the other line, trying to get information out from you but the only thing he can hear is you weeping. 

“Send me your location. Can you hear me? Just let me know where you are, I’ll come to you.”

“I’m at the hospital,” you whisper. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Is it your brother? You won’t be alone.”

Toji’s answer was another wave of tears from you. He hates to hear you cry so hard, and he hates that he’s so far away from you. He looks at Nanami, who already saw his demeanor change and waves him away. 

“I got it from here,” the blond man says. Toji gives him an appreciative nod, leaving him with the bloody men they cornered. Nanami already paid him no mind, getting down to business without him. 

Toji looks down at the mess on the floor and realizes he has blood on his shoes. He couldn’t scare you any more with that. He doesn’t want to scare you at all. Your last words echo in his head before he hung up, about how you didn’t want to be alone. He leaves Nanami without saying another word. 

Back at the hospital you wait in the empty waiting room. Despite you declining it the first time, a styrofoam cup of water sits beside you brought by the orderly. You flick it every so often, watching the ripples bounce, cross, and settle on the sides. You’ve calmed down from your call to Toji. Now there’s a cold, mucky feeling sitting heavy on your chest. You empty the contents within the cup in one gulp, trying to wash it down, but the room temperature water felt like slime going down your throat. 

Chapters: I. II. III. IV. V. VI. VII. VIII. IX. X. XI.

[rintarousgirl]

i wanna be yours -- 8. 505

✦ - Y/N is a small business owner, offering her services not only as a designer but an at-home makeup artist and cosmetic producer as well. She's perfectly content with her small life when she's approached by the manager of the INARIZAKI band, asking for her to fill the position of backstage artist on short notice. Needing the money, and wanting the experience, Y/N agrees. Little does she know of the fatal attraction she will share with the band's lead, Suna Rintarou.

a/n: so, this is late ik, but i was writing a fic on ao3 so LMAO priorities ig. i have literally no other excuse than that and i am so sorry. it's also my best friend's birthday week, so ive been running ragged trying to plan her birthday. i hope this doesn't seem too rushed and short, i just really wanted to give y'all smth.

When you see Rintarou again, he kisses you.

You reciprocate, of course, but when his hand drifts down your side, you push him back lightly. He steps away immediately, hands by his side in surrender.

"What's wrong?" he asks softly, but he doesn't touch you. You take in a deep breath, hands tightening on your purse strap.

"We moved too fast. Like, way too fast the other night. We...we need to have a conversation. Not over the phone," you explain calmly, eyes glued to his neck. The bruising had mostly faded, but there's still an obvious discoloration staining his pale skin.

Rintarou licks his lips and rubs the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah, let's go upstairs."

You follow him silently through his house, and the two of you come to the same sunken-in living room you'd been sitting in last week. You sit facing each other, your knees tucked beneath you. You reach out and grab his hands, thumbs running over each vein on his forearm in an attempt to soothe him.

"Going into this, I thought I was going to take it slow," you admit softly, looking up to him. His full attention is on you, and you feel your confidence shrink under the gaze of his hazel eyes. "I didn't, clearly, and you were right when you said you didn't want to mess this--us up. I don't want too either. So, we really have to take it slow, despite it all."

Rintarou nods. "There are...a lot of things that could go wrong if we don't." You hum, leaning into the plush fabric of the couch.

"I agree. And I don't want to force you into things, especially if they make you so uncomfortable but...communication is key and how am I supposed to learn what I'm not supposed to do if you never tell me what happened between you and Kiyoko?"

He clearly wasn't expecting it, seeing as his hands twitch in your hold and his eyes go wide. He almost pulls back, but then his fingers curl into his palms and he closes his eyes. "You're right."

"I'm all ears," you whisper, and Rintarou's voice drips with hurt as he begins to share the story not only you had been curious of, but thousands of fans had been too.

"Kiyoko Shimizu was the makeup artist before you. Brilliant at her job, and such a caring person. Kind of like you. I fucked up with her. I wouldn't say there were...romantic feelings between us, but I did care for her a lot more than I reasonably should've for just another friends with benefits situation."

You let the lead settle in your throat, and doubts begin to flood your mind. Were you just a Kiyoko replacement in more senses than one? Were you supposed to be another heartless fuck to Rintarou? You bite down on your tongue to keep down your questions and let him continue.

"It went on for a while, I think it was almost a year. Yeah, about. We weren't exclusive or anything, so I wasn't upset that she met other people. Actually, I encouraged her to date others, because I knew she deserved better than a quickie in a dressing room."

Your brain kind of lagged. Had Kiyoko sought out other men, while actively having sex with Rintarou? Did she stop fucking him if she decided to go on a second date? There were so many minor questions that made your head spin. A sick part of you also tried to imagine them, sharing secret smiles and touches under the table. You quickly shake away that thought.

"Two months ago, Kiyoko was offered a job in the States with a performance company. Very famous. She'd do good there on a team of artists, and she wouldn't be over-working herself. She's probably putting makeup on famous artists as we speak, actually."

You knew Kiyoko was good, you'd be stupid not to. You weren't directly involved with all the drama surrounding makeup artists before joining the band, but you had heard her name. She was known for her signature smokey eye, and talent to apply "messy" makeup that didn't run during performances. Very good for bands with...a more sexual appeal.

"She didn't want to take the opportunity, or at least, she told us she didn't, but we all knew she did. She just didn't want to feel like she was 'betraying' us or something. Eventually, Kita just emailed the company back for her and sent her off, I guess. He was always looking out for her best interests, like he does for you."

It almost made you smile. You knew Kiyoko was nice, she was friends with Yachi after all, but it still had you thinking. She wasn't going to take the opportunity of a lifetime, because she didn't want to leave some silly boys? ... Would you end up like that too? Would you jeopardize your future?

Rintarou hand drags down his face, and your own hands settle uncomfortably in your lap.

"I didn't like her...not like I like you. I like you a lot more, Y/N," you blushed, and you could tell what he meant, under those awkward heavy words was a sweet 'i love you'. "But I still cared for her, deeply. I wanted the best for her, but it still hurt. For a while, she was my best friend, and I know it wasn't her choice to leave, necessarily, but she left, and she never looked back."

Your head rose, confusion clear on your face. With furrowed brows, you ask, "She...never called or anything?"

Rintarou shrugs. "She did the first few times, to let us know she was settled in but then she never called again. She's come back and visited her other friends, I know that, but she hasn't said a word to any of us. I...I can't help but think it's because of me, in some way."

His eyes are a bit wet, and you know he's trying to hide a lot of how he feels. You cup his face, rubbing beneath his eye and catching a tear on the pad of your thumb.

"It's okay to cry. You have the right to be upset. I don't know...why she stopped talking to you, but I'm sure she has her reasons. However questionable they may be. But I'm here now, and I don't want to be a replacement. I'm Y/N, not Kiyoko."

He groans, burying his face in your palm. He lets out a wet shaky breath against your hand, hands gripping your wrist. "I-I know you're different. I don't want you thinking you aren't," he lifts his head, hazel eyes finding yours and searching for something, "I don't want to lose you. Ever."

"You won't," you say, "we just gotta play our cards right."

<- previous | next -> | masterlist

★ - kenma isn't a "tsundere" or anything, in my head, he's just not good with words and regrets what he says as soon as he texts it

★ - rintarou and you end up watching a movie together, so that's when you begin texting your friends

★ - kiyoko lore !! i am genuinely so sorry. you all prolly like hate me for this chapter being so lame for having such a big "reveal" or smth idk, but i have just been Burnt Out but this was the deal-breaker chapter and i promise you there will be more with her over the finale

✦ - Y/N is a small business owner, offering her services not only as a designer but an at-home makeup artist and cosmetic producer as well. She's perfectly content with her small life when she's approached by the manager of the INARIZAKI band, asking for her to fill the position of backstage artist on short notice. Needing the money, and wanting the experience, Y/N agrees. Little does she know of the fatal attraction she will share with the band's lead, Suna Rintarou.

taglist:

@mannaornot \ @gojoscumslut \ @sunarots \ @alienvarmint \ @tojirin \ @tkooooop \ @cheriesdear \ @shotenvinsoot \ @wolffmaiden \ @riiceandsoup \ @thebrownemo \ @vivian-555 \ @effmigentlywithachainsaw \ @rukia-uchiha-98 \ @weird0o0 \ @seiamor \ @rory-cakes \ @blue-violin \ @reveusecherie \ @hellokittylover9 \ @yourlocal-bunny \ @keniza \ @cerberuspuppy1 \ @baramii \ @kirbyscreeper \ @rioiio \ @noideawhothatis \ @ris-krispie \ @noideawhothatis \ @venusinx \ @arminseas \

[voidzphere]

🧡🧡🧡Hello!!!! i was a big fan of yours for a while now! Over time Ive grown to be concerned by the amount of stories i hear from…No pressure to read or respond, but i did want to open a door to hear from you about this as i’m concerned. I’ve been told i should be careful about interacting with you (i already have been interacting for a while now) but i’m honoring that concern until i (maybe-?) get an answer or just, confirmation that it’s safe

(Again no pressure!!)

A lot of circles talking about how much harassment they’ve (or people they know or witnessed) received from either you or your friends…

Especially in regards to hit lists that floated in the past? Talk of doxxing? Rumors being spread? Gossiping to people? Callouts on people who don’t associate with the things they are being called out on?

I hope it’s not true i would like to think you’re as chill and easygoing as you portray most times. A lot of people including myself look up to you this kind of…sucks to hear /gen/not accusatory /is there a tag for that lol🧡

I’ve interacted with you freely until recently and now i’m hearing stories that are indicative of you being unsafe and i hope that’s untrue

I’m genuinely so appalled by a lot of these stories and it confuses me because these are people i love and trust a lot and several separate people have had the exact same stories to tell

(These are people who are also disgusted by problematic content on a personal level, in case that’s relevant, i am very careful to not interact with dangerous people or toxicity)🧡🧡🧡🧡(ig either way allegations of doxxing and harassment would be bad but it’s especially heartbreaking to hear from people who’ve done nothing wrong)

I haven’t seen those posts myself but have grown to be concerned. The people who have talked to me about these things are really down to earth people kind people and i couldn’t imagine them being accused of things or threatened?

I could understand if they were creeps but…I wouldn’t expect to hear that from them.

Was wondering if you could offer some insight on this. If not that’s alright as it’s your life and this is an anon ask🧡🧡

I’m just growing to be increasingly concerned and kind of appalled by how much stress and upset is surrounding your user name behind the scenes, Id like to think it’s a misunderstanding or something!

Either way, take care of yourself and have a nice day or night voidz!! ^_^🧡 /all love

-greenery anon

first off dont call me "voidz" thatz not my name

second, itz really funny to me how these said people are sayin that im spreadin rumorz n shit when they are also question mark ? if theyre talkin shit abt me that countz as gossipping and spreadin rumorz

the "hit list" thing is ancient as fuck and i havent even thought about it since then. either way, it wasnt even me who did any of that. there are multiple postz explaining that, if you bothered looking ‼️‼️

and like ive said a million timez before, i am strictly anti-harassment and will never tolerate any of that. if anyone doez i suggest they leave my page.

if i see one more person bring up any of this shit on my page im literally blocking you like im not kidding

srry if i sound passive aggressive or upset thatz cuz this was such a long time ago n im so sick of hearin this !!

[finsterkiibo]

ive always headcanoned that keebo is somewhat genderfluid, comfortable with any gender being applied to him yet also sometimes having a preference whilst also remaining like.. generally gnc, because robot,

and i wondered if you have any headcanons like that for kiibo and shuichi! or maybe just put a ramble about them for this ask i dont mind and just want to get my saiibo brainworms fed

HI ANON!!!!! THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION!! it made me realize i haven’t explained my wonderful kiibo gender worms here on tumblr yet ehehe

though I don’t usually discuss gender and/or sexuality headcanons cuz I LOVEE when other people project their own headcanons onto my art, I also love getting the chance to talk about my own headcanons every once in awhile, so thank you!!!!

so, we all know mettaton, right? the pretty robot from undertale? the man himself, iconic even years later, his wondrousness still filling the minds of many today? WELL we all know he’s trans, correct? going from a genderless ghost to his true self as a robot. WELL, I SEE KIIBO BEING TRANS IN THE SAME SORT OF WAY YKNOW. I really adore the idea that kiibo was made with zero gender in mind, idabashi leaving it up for kiibo to decide whenever the time came. raising him purely genderless for several years (neutral pronouns, clothes, and the like) until he decided on his own that he prefers to be masculine presenting/refered to as a man, and idabashi immediately respected that and started raising him as a man! building more masculine outer armor, helping change kiibos voice if he wished for it, more masculine clothing and uniforms for school, stuff of that sort! (though after becoming more comfortable, especially postgame after he’s rebuilt and doesn’t have to deal with that pesky over armor from ingame, i see him dressing more gnc, just wearing what he likes and not caring whether it’s considered masculine or not, he’s very comfortable in his own masculinity!!!!!)

basically as a huge tldr i headcanon kiibo as a trans man in the same way that mettatons a trans man!!!!!!!

and as a bonus, in AUs where i make kiibo a human/not robot he’s an intersex trans man!!! again, raised genderless until he realized on his own that hes a man :3

wish i had some huge elaborate headcanon paragraphs for shuichi too but he is simply the most bisexual disaster ever and that is all LMAOO most unintentionally gnc cisgender man in my brain

as a little saiibo bonus though, i like the idea that kiibo unintentionally and maybe sometimes intentionally helps shuichi become more comfortable in his own masculinity postgame too, helping his confidence in dressing more freely n such :DD i feel like he’d always feel this pressure to wear more masculine uniforms and such when he goes out due to his more feminine appearance, but seeing kiibo dress without a care in the world really inspires shuichi to do the same!!!!

ANYHOW, THANK YOU ANON!!! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE RAMBLE!!!! I REALLY DO LOVE GETTING THE CHANCE TO BRING OUT MY REALLY OBSCURE HEADCANONS EHEHE

[nattyluvs]

PINK ROSES - chapter 18

"hey, look they have a photo of chris up there" yeji said to jeongin, pointing to the framed photo on the wall. yn turned to them, slapping yeji's hand.

"hey, stop holding hands if ur gonna walk next to me, i look like a loner." yn commented.

"listen, if u grow a pair and make a move on little lixie back there, u might be able to lock fingers with him" yeji scoffed, nudging her head in the direction of felix behind them.

"but-"

"no buts! just go talk to him..hes probably waiting for you"

"yeah no buts" jeongin spoke in a mocking tone

"whatever! ill be right back then..." yn mentioned, slowing down her walking speed to catch up with felix and jisung behind her.

minho, jisung, and felix were all walking together, felix seemingly not interested in whatever bickering argument they were having. yn gave felix a little wave while walking towards him, felix returning the favor.

"hey, i thought id walk with you since you dont seem interested in whatever they're talking about"

"trust me, im not. they argue everyday and then somehow make up? im not sure how they function doing anything together," he pointed out

they walked next to eachother for a bit, in comfortable silence. looking at the several concession, merch, and other items' stands. they walked like this for a bit until the silence was interrupted.

"you know, i want to try dancing one day, just as a hobby"

"why the sudden interest?" felix asked

"cause, ive seen how passionate hyunjin seems to be about it, same with you. you both seem to have this aspiration to keep doing it, im interested."

"especially hyunjin, i mean, he has danced since he was like in primary school competitively for 5 years."

"why did he stop competing?"

"well i remember he was around 15, he stopped competing because he didnt like the atmosphere of dance competitions. he just felt that going up against other people wasnt his thing." yn explained, voice shaken for a split second due to felix's hand brushing against hers for a moment.

"hmm, that makes sense. personally i think dancing isnt the kind of sport that should be competed, but judt enjoying the art of it."

"yeah, i get where ur coming from." yn answered, "hey im about to tell u something but you cannot tell hyunjin i told you, got it?"

felix nodded, "okay so basically the year felix stopped competing for dance, my soccer coach scouted him for that season and we were on the same team for awhile." yn recalled.

"why the hell would he not want people to know about that? thats kinda silly to be embarassed about"

"cause he's embarrassed about it, and he quit halfway through the season at the same time i did, and continued with dancing."

"im missing something here," felix spoke, their hands brushing once again.

"if u dont mind me asking, why did you quit? there had to be a reason right?" he questioned

"well first of all i was on a competitive team, i had worked really hard to get there then i got injured halfway through the season." she muttered

"if you dont want to talk about it we dont have to, you know. this seems like a sensitive topic for you"

"no its fine, its just i loved doing it so much, and one thing just tore it all apart, i cried alot about it. i still do sometimes"

"the really only way i can get involved now is coaching, and i dont know if i-" her voice starting to stutter, feeling the tears well up.

"hey, we dont have to talk about it anymore, i dont wanna see u crying." he pulled her into a hug, rubbing circles on her back for a moment.

"hey! you two can stop being lovey over there, we found the elevator!" they heard jisung shout.

felix rolled his eyes before letting go, handing her a cloth to wipe the tears threatening to fall down her face

"you know, you and hyunjin act like you hate eachother, but when u both are seriously talking about one another, u both sound very fond."

"shut up, i hate him, hes annoying" yn lightly punched him on the arm, while he pretends thats the hardest anyone has ever hit him.

"why do you keep touching my hand with yours, do you want to hold it or something?" yn asked

"and if i do?"

"i wont object" they successfully locked fingers with eachother while waiting for the elevator.

"your hands are really small you know" she mentioned

felix whined a bit, too embarrassed to say anything.

they walked into the elevator along with everyone else, going down a few floors until reaching the right one. they walked over to their seats while felix and yn unfortunately had to break their handholding.

"we have to put our bags in the locker room, but we'll be right back okay? dont jump onto the court while we're gone" minhos voice was heard from behind her

----

they sat there for around an hour, chatting about who-knows what. after first quarter, the group left to prepare for their performance. this left yn and yeji to sit by themselves

"sooo i saw u making moves back there huh!" she teased, nudging her arm.

"stop! it's embarrassing ill tell you about it later."

"hey whatsup!" they heard a familiar, annoying voice coming from up the stairs.

yn and yeji both turned their heads to see beomgyu, eyes and mouth wide open in suprise, not expecting to see him there.

"why are you even get here? where are your parents..." yeji asked, jokingly annoyed

"i literally have a liscense, and im on a date for your information!"

they both gasped, yn proceeding to speak "wait are you with..."

"if youre thinking what im thinking then yes" beomgyu gave them a cheesy grin

"then what the hell are you doing down here? go back to your date, dont leave him hanging you know" yeji scolded

they exchanged some more small conversation before beomgyu left and it was just the two of them.

--

after around an hour had passed it was finally halftime, they both waited in their seats impatiently for the announcer to call them out

the performance started shortly, taking turns on the big screen up above. they performed to 3 songs, stage outfits matching each of them perfectly.

as soon as it was over, yna nd yeji rushed over to the break room from their seats. they stopped to buy some flowers along the way.

once arrived in the break room, they parted ways while yn went to search for felix, finally spotting him at the back of the room, minifan blowing at his face.

"hey you did really good, you know? im glad you got over your nerve, that performance was fire"

"im glad you liked it becuse im sooo tired" he slurred, forcing her to return his hug.

they pulled away from their hug as she started to whisper in his ear, "hey dont tell hyunjin but, i was really only here to see you"

yn giggled to herself before happily walking out the room, leaving felix baffled at the confession she just dropped

"what the f-"

"felix, man!" a sudden sighting of jisung came up, "whats going on! why. are. you. still. in here. lets go? we have a reservation to catch.." jisung dragged felix and his bag out of the room

previous masterlist next

a/n: i am so wmbarssed actuslly at this, unfortunately there probably isnt gonna be any more than like 10 chapters after this one..im so sad i dont want it to be over

taglist open (send a note or click here to be added)

@https-skzology @yongboksfavorite @gwyu0 @skogane @nikisbf @choiakko-3 @llavenderlilacc @starsfly01091711 @jeanbob @neoculturewhat @str4awb3rrym1lkl0v3r @sleeplessmin @beautifulixr @rocking-pebble @encaphy @thatlonelyalto @marcillfll @arizzu @lixieswife @vivioluh @tyigerz @staurdvst @iadorethemskz @angelzforu @lulumallow @milfza-is-hot @yachi-lover3 @minhoesss @hvrtsforlino @iluvhuddy @myknifeyourlife @felixvsp @amara-mars

[suzipanini]

A Healing Love

This is it, guys! My very first fanfic. Please don't be too hard on me, I haven't been writing in a long time because of depression and anxiety. I just want to get into it again, and any advice is welcome! :)

Have fun reading!

______________________________________________________________

As the sun dipped below the horizon, I stepped through the doors of the ER. Big fluorescent lights shone down from the ceiling, while I felt sweat dripping down my face. I clutched my abdomen in agony and walked towards the counter. 

''How can I help you?'' the lady asked me, I had to try my best to focus on what she was saying.

''I think I need to see a doctor,'' I moaned in pain.

''Can you tell me about your symptoms dear?'' she asked, I heard concern in her voice.

''I think I'm running a fever, I have abdominal pain and I am very nauseous,'' I managed to say, as I felt my stomach trying to get rid of the contents that were long gone.

The lady behind the counter said something else, but I had to put all my energy into trying not to throw up all over the floor. About a minute later someone touched my arm.

''Come, take a seat!'' I heard someone say from behind me, while they guided me into a wheelchair, ''I am going to figure out what's wrong with you and how to help you best.''

She rolled me into another room, divided by curtains, with beds containing people who also needed help. The gurney on the far left was still empty, and that's where she brought me to. I vaguely notice there's a male nurse who helps me from the wheelchair onto the bed. 

''Hello, I am Jules Millin, and I will be your doctor today. The nurse told me about your fever, pain, and nausea. I will perform some tests to make sure what is going on and will give you care to the best of my abilities. But first, I will ask you some questions,'' the same voice as the one who helped me into the wheelchair said.

So her name is Doctor Millin, I have to try to remember that!

''Can you tell me your name?'' doctor Millin asked.

''My name is Riley, and my date of birth is March 24th, 1996,'' I said.

''Good, that would have been my next question! Since you have abdominal pain, is there any way you can be pregnant?'' 

''No, I am a hundred percent sure that I'm not pregnant,'' I replied, remembering my last sexual encounter was with a woman, I couldn't even remember the last time I was with a man.

''Okay. Is it okay if I take your temperature and take a look at your abdomen?'' 

I nodded. It turned out I had a fever of 103 degrees. She asked me to lie on my back and relax as if it was easy with the pain. What happened next made me want to hit her, and I'm not a violent person. I felt her hands pressing down on my lower right abdomen, and releasing it. The pain coming from underneath her hands felt like someone stabbed me. Tears ran down my cheeks.

''I think I know what's going on. Seeing your symptoms and the fact that it visibly hurts you when I release pressure from your abdomen makes me sure you have appendicitis. We are going to have to perform surgery and get rid of the inflamed appendix,'' she explained.

I nodded again, I just wanted to get rid of the pain as quickly as possible. She rolled the gurney I was lying on out of the room and took me to an elevator, ready to prep me for my surgery.

When I woke up, I immediately noticed I felt a lot better.

''Good to see you awake! The surgery went well, we were just in time to take out your appendix,'' Doctor Millin said, and this was the first time I could take a good look at her.

I felt heat rising in my cheeks and smiled at her. She was gorgeous. 

''How are you feeling now?'' she smiled.

''Better, thank you! The nausea is gone, and I feel much more clear in my head,'' I replied.

''You also look a lot better. Your fever went down after the surgery, and how is your pain?'' she checked my IV to make sure it wasn't clogged.

I told her that my pain was okay, it wasn't gone but also not as bad as it was before. She told me I had to stay for a few days, to make sure I was okay. Usually, I would be upset about it, but this time I didn't mind as long as Doctor Millin would come to check on me.

In the days that followed, Doctor Millin came in for follow-up assessments. Each conversation became more personal, transcending the usual doctor-patient dynamics. I told Doctor Millin my dreams, fears, and the life I had to put on hold due to needing surgery. She was there every step of the way to my recovery. As I regained my strength, the walls that separated doctors from patients began to crumble. I noticed myself falling for Jules, hoping she would feel the same for me in the end.

Our connection became a symphony of shared glances, stolen moments, and whispered conversations. I saw Jules was a kind spirit, someone who understood me on a level few others could. Love, they say, has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. 

''You get to go home now!'' Jules said. 

In some way I was disappointed. Not that I finally got to sleep in my bed again, but for the fact that I wouldn't be seeing Jules anymore. Unless I did something about it.

''Jules?'' I asked, ''I am positive I'm not the only one feeling this connection between us. Why else would you come into my room multiple times a day talking about personal things and getting to know each other? If I didn't know better it could've been dates, only at the wrong place because I'd rather go on a date to a movie or something. I mean, I could be wrong, but I know I felt something. And I...''

''You're right,'' she smiled, interrupting me, ''I feel the connection too.''

She took my hand and looked at me, blushing a little. Which made my heart jump.

''Since you're dismissed from the hospital and I'm not your doctor anymore, would you like to go out on a date with me?''

I thought she'd never ask, and I nodded enthusiastically.

My trip to the ER was more than just a trip to the hospital. It was a turning point, a chapter in my life that would forever be etched in my heart. What was supposed to be just a surgery, led to a journey of love. A love story that proved that even in the most unexpected of circumstances, love has the power to heal, transform and to make us whole.

[la-merlaison]

Hey hey hey I'ts me again and I came with another nerdy Louis post!!

Okay guys, the time has finally come! I'm not strong in french at all (for now) but my half french friend kind of is, so I asked them for some help during my research and I hope it turned out okay!!

So, no time to explain, right now we suggest you make yourself a cup of tea and prepare some marzipans (or at least omelettes if u don't have marzipans) because it's going to be a very big and really grandiose post!

Exactly 407 years ago, on sunday, Jan 29th, a huge intrigued crowd gathered in a giant ballroom of the Louvre palace to watch a truly legendary event in the history of France... Still very young King Louis XIII paid extremely close attention to the preparation of the ballet, as his doctor Jean Héroard noted on January 19th: "He rehearses his ballet twice a day."

Why all this mishmash of sentences, you may ask? *ahem* Lemme explain from the very start... (those who already know of all the drama between Louis and his mom, feel free to skip a couple of paragraphs but if you'd still love to dive even deeper into this rabbit hole and connect two dots then let's go!!)

When little dauphin lost his father (Henri IV) at the age of 8, he was still too young to be a king, so for quite a long time his mother Marie de Medici had to take the place of a regent. And it was all cute and stuff, except for the dauphin had already turned 13 for a year and a half (it was considered the age of majority and gaining power over the state at the time) and Mary did not even think of giving up her career, and especially leaving the throne, no matter how pissed off the young king was because of all the ridiculous formality of his "reign".

He was even more disturbed and frankly enraged by the favorite of the Medici - Concino Concini, who had a terrible effect on his mother according to the prince's beliefs (not only his beliefs at all but let's focus on our blorbo's pov). But don't worry! In January Louis along with his friend, with whom he loved to spend time and in general was emotionally very close, conceived how to end this exhaustingly endless regency, which already had a questioning reputation... And I guess it meant, that the time has come for truly dazzling performances in every single way!

Among all the options proposed by Etienne Durand, the court poet of Marie de Medici (he's also responsible for organizing the performance), the king chose a very specific plot which was taken from the old chivalric poem “Jerusalem Delivered” by Torquato Tasso, as if this choice carried a certain kind of symbolism, but what it really meant??

Keep in mind, Louis really chose the following plot himself: "The valiant knight Renaud de Montauban, played by Charles d'Albert (that one close friend and favorite of the king I mentioned before), succumbs to the charms of the sorceress Armide, who takes him into her enchanted gardens and... enchants him (wow who would've thought)! However, his comrades, including Godeffroy de Bouillon (edit. I accidentally thought that Godeffroy and the demon of fire were the same character, but actually they were two different characters both played by Louis XIII oops) came to save Renaud and break Armide's spell."

Finally, on Sunday, January 29th, 1617, the premiere of "The ballet of Renaud's deliverance" eventually happened yayy, but the crowd was so huge that even the king(!) could hardly make his way through such a large audience, the performance even had to be slightly delayed. But it was worth the wait, because in the end everyone were struck by the fiery appearance of an impressive figure in a black mask, covered from top to bottom with flames. It was the king (OUR BLORBO YASS)!! You can see his costume on the first pic below under the number 1 and Charles as Renaud right above him.

It's believed that the ballet about the liberation of Renaud from the spell of the sorceress Armide has a symbolic, even double meaning. Many people recognize Louis himself in Renaud, who seeks to free himself from the oppression of Marie (as if from the spell of Armide). One of the lyricists of "The Deliverance of Renaud", Rene Bordieu, even compared the fiery image of the king with a phoenix, which could hint at the rise from the ashes because it also sounds like an allegory to getting rid off the pressure. Etienne Durand himself also said a lot of different words related to the costume, but there are so many of them that it is better to leave them for another post idk...

Anyways, each of these versions is wonderful in its own way, but the clothes of flame, which Louis demonstrated on himself that day, symbolized not only anger and a burning desire for revenge, but also those were clothes made of the light of justice and the desire for something light and devine like the enameled blades that reflected the light of countless torches and candles in motion, illuminating a hall full of spectators blinded by such a perfomance both literally and figuratively.

Plot twist.... On April 24, 1617, less than three months after the performance of La Délivrance de Renaud, Concino Concini was assassinated by the Baron de Vitry, captain of the royal guard. And about ten days later, Marie de Medici was exiled to Blois =)

Since then, Louis XIII became, in fact, a king but this time with all seriousness!

Well, I hope you enjoyed the post and had a great time with it! Wishing you justice, deliverances, marzipan & omelettes and a guarantee that no one will ever sit for too long on your throne, gotta love anyone who read this 'till the end <3

[lynnbeth5172]

Stitched Up Love iv

Isla trudged through the streets, a small thing of coins in her hand as she made it home. It was the King's name day and she had finished making garments for the family, pricking her finger many times while thinking of other things. She had fit into the role of seamstress easily enough, enjoying talking to Prince Aegon and Princess Helaena’s children, staying away from Prince Aegon while drunk due to him being clingy, and occasionally talking to Prince Aemond. Talking to him was oddly pleasant, after the King’s coughing fit, the two of them started to talk more often. He explained that his father’s near death experiences happened often and that’s why it didn’t bothered him.

Finally she made it to the small shack where her family lived, the streets may smell like shit to some but for Isla. It smelled of home.

She closed her eyes and opened the door, the sound of her little brother laughing; Isla herself cracked a smile, calling out for her little brother and hearing footsteps coming her way, she immediately hugged Lukas and kissed his forehead. 

“Isla’s home!!” She heard more footsteps and saw the blonde hair of Maude, she had looked slightly more thin than she had before. Isla moved and hugged her younger sister, she had grown a bit taller and her chestnut hair reached her shoulders: she released her sister and took her hand, squeezing it gently as Maude looked her up and down.

Isla looked to where her mothers room was, letting her sister go in order to see her mother. The room smelled of death, as if someone left a carcass to rot and this was the product; she went near her mother’s bed and held her hands together in order to not bite her nails, her mother’s face had looked the same since she left for the Red Keep. Her face was still hollowed out and her eyes were closed, as if she were asleep, that was till her eyes opened and seemed to have noticed her presence. Not speaking but extending a hand for Isla to hold, taking her mother’s hand.

“She’s gotten slightly better…though she doesn’t really remember Lukas.” She turned to see her elder sister Verna, with her hands over her stomach and walking towards her to give a hug, Isla hugged her sister back.

Verna released her from the hug and looked back at their mother before looking to Isla, she looked more tired than she did before and light purple circles  around her eyes.

“Can I…talk to you for a moment?” Her sister didn’t give her time to answer before taking her hand and dragging her to their younger brother's room, his crib was still there due to their mother not wanting to let go of the memory of babe Luke.

“I am with child,”  it took a moment to realize the words that her sister said. Yet she asked the question that replayed in her head.

“Are you…Verna are you jesting?” Her sister looked at her as if she were stupid. Isla most certainly felt stupid, she knew that her sister worked at a tavern. And she knew that her sister was pretty, but she didn’t know that it would cause a pregnancy. The tavern her sister worked at wasn’t anything spectacular by any means but it was a nice place to drink and muck around.

There had been a few rumors that Prince Aegon had visited the tavern that her sisters worked at, while the rumors were never confirmed. Isla could’ve sworn that she saw a head of silver hair that walked into the tavern.

“Who’s the father?” 

Her sister hesitated but spoke.

“His name was Robyn, was one of the people who came to the tavern often but after I told him…he barely comes anymore.” Verna had her hands over her stomach again, walking in a small circle. Isla looked down at her elder sister’s stomach; she was going to become an aunt. That thought both excited her and made her nervous…could they even afford having a baby?

“Would you be able to take care of it? Vern we were barely able to get mothers medicine…perhaps it’s best if we would’ve turned to theft.” Isla took her sisters hands, she was more nervous than excited, they couldn’t have another mouth to feed.

“I will…I know a few of the women from the tavern also have children, perhaps they could help with the-“ a loud banging sound came from their mothers room, Isla heard Verna groan and walk to where the noise came from.

Their mother was knocking her knuckles on the wall as if her life depended on it, her eyes were closed and her face was twisted in a look of pain. Maude came into the room with a cup of something.

“Mother…it’s okay, drink-“

“No!” Their mother flung the cup of whatever Maude was going to give her across the room, having it wet the wood floors. Grabbing her sister's wrist to the point of leaving a mark, their mother looked at Maude then to Isla…as if they were intruders.

“If you force me to drink that vile substance then I will spit it out again and again.” Her sister looked at their mother and gently pried her fingers off her wrist, rubbing small circles on her wrist that looked a bit bruised, Isla squeezed her sister’s shoulder as Verna went to tend to their mother.

Their mother laid her head back on the mattress and Isla went to pick up the cup, looking back at their mother who was now mumbling about how her throat hurts as well as her limbs. Verna sat on the bed and looked to Isla.

“Fetch a bowl of water.” Isla nodded and went to get a small porcelain bowl and water.

:::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“Good stew,” Lukas smiled at Maude as she poured him a bowl of soup. They were all quiet as they ate, Maude and Isla used some of the vegetables that Verna was able to get; Isla had worked on her younger brothers ripped britches, which tore when her younger brother caught himself on a loose nail which ripped the fabric.

“Thank you…” Maude gave Luke a tired smile and poured the last bit of stew for herself, Verna had left to give their mother some of the stew but from the sounds of yelling from her room. Isla could guess that Verna was less successful in the process of feeding their mother.

“How’s work been at the Keep?” Maude turned to Isla who gave a small smile and shrug.

“Good, tiring sometimes but I’m doing good…got a small private quarter .” Maude seemed interested when the mention of a chamber came up.

“The Queen is quite kind then, giving you a place like that. Away from everyone.” Isla gave her sister a smile and nod, from her short time of being a seamstress, Queen Alicent had been a kind person whenever Isla delivered the dresses that she sewn. Though she had always looked tired; with her sad brown eyes and her chewed nails, the Queen always seemed stressed or nervous about something.

“And the rest?” Isla swallowed a bit of the stew, a bit of carrot being chewed on as she thought of a reply.

“Princess Helaena is sweet…quiet but she’s lovely when she speaks, so is Prince Aemond. Silent as a cat but he’s a nice bit of company, same for Prince Aegon though…he’s never always there.” Isla smiled a bit when she thought of Prince Aemond, they had talked before she left to visit her family. Him wishing her a safe trip to her home, he had appeared slightly upset when Isla wished him to have a nice time at the feast for his father.

“What about the King? Is he fierce?” Luke looked curious at her, as if expecting her to say how brave King Viserys was. Truth be told…Isla thought that the king was a bit like their father. Never really caring about his children or people around him, looking at the way that the King treated his children and his wife made Isla dislike him.

Trying to think of the right words, Verna came in with small scratches on her arms. Making her way to the table and sitting down as she put the bowl of what was left of their mother’s stew.

“She fought when I tried giving it to her…at this point, she’ll waste away in a moon or so.” Her elder sister ran a hand through her hair and yawned, that was when Isla saw how truly tired she was. Her skirts were stained with liquid and her eyes looked more sunken in. It reminded her of Queen Alicent.

“How long will she last even?” Maude glanced at Verna then got up to put her bowl to the side to clean, taking Luke’s bowl as well.

“Not long…her bones are sticking out and she’s refusing to eat, as if eating something would kill her.” Isla swallowed and took her sisters hand.

“Maybe she’ll eat…it’ll take time but maybe she will,” Isla knew it was wishful thinking but she still didn’t want to believe that her mother will die.

“She hasn’t ate since you came back…even then she ate while you were gone, small bites of bread or fruit.”

Lukas looked at Verna then went to sit near Isla, laying his head on her shoulder and hugging her. Isla gave her younger brother a smile and patted his back.

“We’ll be okay…right?” And looking from her younger brother to her bowl, she shrugged but smiled.

“Yes…we’ll be okay.” Though she heard Maude mutter ‘Maybe’ under her breath.

“Depends on how long mother lives.” And with that, Verna left to her room, with Maude going shortly afterwards. Leaving Isla and Lukas alone at the table.

“You didn’t tell me…”

Isla smiled and looked down to her brother.

“About?”

“About the king…is he a brave man?”

“He’s a meek man…maybe brave in his youth but now he is merely a molding shell,” Isla got up and took Luke to his room. Tucking him in and showing him his newly stitched britches, to which he happily hugged her and said that she was the most wonderful sister.

Leaving his room, Isla made it to the shared room that her and Maude shared. With Maude already asleep, Isla moved to kiss her younger sisters head and went to her own separate bed to sleep.

Thinking of many things, last being Prince Aemond. Before falling asleep.

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Probably not the best chapter but oh well, been a while since I came back to this story and it felt nice coming back💚

[wizlizbelle3]

Hi so I’ve been wanting to enter the void for almost a year now and over the course of the past year, I’ve had many dreams where I think about the void or where I feel like im falling and everything is black and one recently where I closed my eyes and felt myself maybe getting deeper into it idk how to explain it but I opened my eyes because there were people around in the dream.

I’ve also been trying to lucid dream and have only had one dream where I attempted a reality check but since it didn’t work, the dream kept going. Another dream where I questioned how I had clothing on that I didn’t have on before. Ive also been in the hypnagogic state a handful of times and even had some success with astral projection on my first attempt. I only felt symptoms though like tingling all over my body but so far have not been successful in entering the void.

The thing is that now, Ik I can do it because I NEVER expected to have the success I mentioned but it’s hard not to get frustrated. I’m more determined now because my birthday is soon, I’m turning 20 and I can’t spend another year having no life and feeling like a disappointment to everyone around me.

Sometimes I even wonder if this is even real lol. I just want some advice if you could give me some because sometimes I feel like I’m so close and that it’s so easy but then other days it’s hard to keep that mentality up.

Sorry for answering these asks so late.

I completely understand what you're going through. I'm kind of in the same boat where I've experienced the void briefly but going back in seems to be hard. It all depends on assumption to be honest. I know that sounds like recycled information but anyone who has manifested with the void will tell you the same thing. I have started to work on my self concept again.

There are too many things that happen in the 3D that make it hard to ignore it. Parents constantly trauma dumping and then telling you that life is hard while you're telling your subconscious mind that the void is easy. Waking up and seeing that you're not there etc. I feel like a lot of people in this community ignore people's valid feelings and just tell them that "oh that's because you're choosing to see it that way". That might be true but I also think you need to find something you think is strong and will work for you.

Your subconscious mind is like a little pet that only listens to you. You need to reprogram your mind to stay firm in your belief even if you feel upset. You can definitely acknowledge those feelings and when you say things like, the void is hard or I couldn't get in, tell yourself "No, what am I saying? I KNOW the void is easy for me."

If there's specific questions then feel free to message me! I know this answer might not help as much but I'm just sharing what I have learnt so far on my own journey.

[motherfricker]

I actually didn’t want to block you because I enjoy your posts and like you as a person a lot. I considered us as pretty close mutuals. But apparently you can’t stop posting about me so, yeah, I think that’s a little sad. I hope that you learn how to have a discussion in the future. You’re clearly still a child but I think you have a lot of potential; I still like your writing and I think we can agree on a lot of things. I don’t have anything against you as a person. Never had, never will.

That discussion had nothing to do with you and that you’re taking it this personal is really sad to me. Again, I’m sad that it ended this way, I appreciated your blog and the Nero photos you sent to me but making posts over and over again after a discussion and getting nasty during it, is really not how you should handle these things. I wish you the best, truly. (I commented this before but my comments disappear when I block you so yeah, maybe you have the chance to read this when you have time)

dude i think you literally just cannot have a proper discussion without somehow managing to tire people out 😭 it was actually crazy how you wouldn't accept poverty being a character motivator, im literally not aristotle do you think im going to focus on a characters motivations that deeply when im watching a movie, im literally going to focus on the cinematography and the score and atmosphere more because it's visually stimulating

it was actually genuinely so frustrating trying to get that through to you and trying to give you an answer that would make you stop asking pen and i the same question over and over again, oh my god 💀 ive literally seen you do the same thing with other people on ur blog that try to talk abt movies or books & the like, like you genuinely come across as someone who thinks their opinion is right, and im sorry that im saying it like this but then i really do need you to understand 😭 like no matter how much you read Aristotle or shakespeare or whatever it's not going to make you a good critic if you can't look at stuff and acknowledge the different thought processes that have gone into mediums & storytelling, looking at the skeleton of an art piece is the same as looking at nothing at all if youre not going to acknowledge the flesh of it.

like if you genuinely think that movie has bad writing I can't help you, bcs you haven't even watched it and if you're going to try and criticise it and say "oh, this is bad writing" just because one singular person on the internet gave you a motivation you didn't agree with then like,,,, Look Inwards. im not even mad that you don't like the film, im mad that a person like you who seems to look at all aspects of a movie, including its production period (see: you and amethyst discussing the Hobbit movies) suddenly hears word about it from people who are amateur writers (well i am one—pen has a whole degree) and decides yeah this movie's bad. it was such a shallow and absolute statement that you made after making me try to circle around not spoiling the whole movie for literal hours, and then YOU got mad that I was coming off as passive aggressive when i stopped caring abt how my tone may come across on pixels. i have been talking to you on and off for like more than a year, did you think that unpleasant tone came out of nowhere ???????

nobody in the whole world will care if you've read a few classics if you literally cannot apply them properly to all the media that surrounds you. you understood i was frustrated that dc didn't care about art without me spelling that out but you couldn't understand i was trying not to spoil a movie you haven't watched after making me go around in circles for so long, and then you get mad when i try to explain to you WHY i cant answer your question and then you get mad because my tone was off?? after id spent more than an entire hour trying to defend why i like a movie that i didn't even care if you hadn't watched in the first place because i just wanted to ramble about a movie to someone who i thought appreciated the arts like i do ??? art is literally not black and white but you always manage to come across as someone who views it as either very good or very bad, that is literally not how i view it and i tried to tell you that and instead of understanding where i came from you decided to become passive aggressive with me because my tone was slightly off when i tried to tell you that maybe you shouldn't have asked me that question when i wasn't even talking abt character motivations to begin with 😭

also i literally have a count of like 9 followers and all 9 of them are friends who barely even use Tumblr, I am complaining into the void 💀

tldr please like try to be more considerate the next time someones trying to talk to you abt their interests that you know nothing about it takes 2 seconds to search up the summary of the ballad of songbirds and snakes on wikipedia & i will delete those 2 posts yes that was immature of me & i apologise for not letting it go

[wandering-night19]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

I am SO SORRY it took me so long to answer this. My lame excuse is that when I work a bunch of shifts in a row I'm not really a human until it's over. But I saw this and was thinking about it during my 7 shifts in a row. Why do I do this to myself?

Anyway, because burnout is a real thing, especially in healthcare, I wanted to focus on 5 things that make me happy about my job. So here they are.

My coworkers. Being a travel nurse means I have to make new friends every 13 weeks and that's really hard when you're an introvert. But the great thing about ER nurses is that we all have the same personalities and it doesn't take long to find your people.

Fixing something. This seems broad, but I'm specifically thinking of sepsis patients when I meant this. I love being presented with a problem and being able to fix it. Someone comes in altered with a fever, tachycardic, and hypotensive I know exactly what to do and how to fix it and what to give. And it's so satisfying watching the numbers normalize and a person come back to themselves.

Teaching other nurses. I love being asked questions and showing someone how to do something. I also love teaching them how to stand up for themselves, especially with doctors. A lot of new nurses are terrified of doctors. I had a new nurse with me two nights ago and an attending was frustrated with his resident and snapped at me about it. I said "excuse me????" to him. She couldn't believe I said that to him. I explained respecting doctors doesn't mean they get to treat us however they want. The doctor apologized to me and then later on apologized again.

When I get an IV on the first try on someone that says they're a hard stick. There are literally so many memes about this and I relate to every single one. And when the patient is gushing about how good I am and how experience I must be and I'm pretending to be humble, please know that I am preening like a peacock.

Helping people. Yes, it's cliche, but it's why I became a nurse in the first place. A lot of times now burnout comes from feeling like nothing we do matters and every now and then I'm reminded that it does.

Anyway, this is probably not what you really wanted, but it helped me a lot this week. So thanks for the ask! 💕💕💕