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janelevy · 5 years ago

Text

burnt

requested by @homeschooledbookfanatic

summary: ava and connor help out at a devastating apartment building fire, but disaster strikes when she keeps her injuries from connor, and she wakes up hours later in the hospital.

warnings: minor descriptions of injuries, mentions of death

She didn’t mean to collapse in the middle of the crowded ED hallway. It just... kind of happened.

But now, as Ava gradually came to in a room surrounded by machines and wires, she knew it probably had something to do with the gaping wound in her side that she vaguely remembered having. She groaned and tried to stretch her arms out, but her right arm fell short of a full stretch due to the IV embedded in her hand. She was splayed out in a kind of bed she was all too familiar with, except she was only familiar with it from a different perspective. She should be standing, walking around, helping the patients after the fire. She shouldn’t be one of the people lying on a bed, she should be the one looking down on it.

The curtain just past the end of her bed was drawn, but there was a sliver of space through which she could tell the ED was still bringing in a steady stream of victims in various states. Ava sat up, shimmying the pillow higher up behind her back. The second she moved, pain bit down hard in the exact place she remembered sustaining the burn. A whine escaped her throat and she blindly scrabbled in the dull white sheets for the call nurse button.

Within seconds of hitting it, April slipped into the room. “Oh, good. You’re awake,” she breathed immediately, rushing to Ava’s side to adjust something on the machines.

“What...” Ava coughed, and a styrofoam cup of water was shoved into her view. She grabbed it and gulped it all down in one go. “How long has it been since I...” She trailed off, not wanting to state what happened. It was embarrassing for some reason, made her feel like less of a doctor because she hadn’t seen it coming. She would’ve thought she knew her body and what she could handle better than anyone else, but maybe she had gotten too caught up in the chaos to realize.

April frowned at her, concern written in the wrinkles between her scrunched eyebrows. “Nearly two hours. It’s close to five now and we’re still receiving people from the fire you went to.”

Ava squeezed her eyes shut and pinched the bridge of her nose. She wanted to go home but at the same time she wanted to get up, rip the IV out, and start helping. They had plenty of surgeons at the start of the day, that was why she and Connor had offered to help out at the scene. But by now they would definitely be short staffed upstairs. “Casualties?” she asked despite not wanting to know.

“Fifteen,” April sighed. “And counting. The fire was vicious, as I’m sure you know. They said the smoke detectors and sprinklers in that apartment building hadn’t been touched or fixed since the eighties.”

Now that that was out of the way, Ava felt ready to ask the first thing that should’ve been out of her mouth. “And Connor? Where is he?”

April started to say something that was likely along the lines of “I already paged him” when the curtain was hit with an immense force. Connor burst in, flinging the curtain out of his way as he entered.

“Oh my god, you’re okay,” he said. All the words came out in a solid line, pushed too close together and almost unintelligible. Ava understood though, and she grinned weakly at him. In an instant Connor was in the chair to her left and his fingers were woven into hers. “I would’ve been here but they called me into a surgery and I had no choice, I’m so--”

She interrupted him. “Hey. Hey. Stop. It’s fine. And I’m fine,” she said while exchanging a pointed glance with April.

April didn’t have her back, however. “Well, you’re fine for the most part,” the nurse told them, resting her hands on her hips. “But you did suffer a nasty second-degree burn all down the right side of your torso, Ava. That’s pretty serious. You won’t recover overnight. Not to mention the reason you collapsed.”

Ava looked at Connor, but his gaze was fixed on April as he absorbed each detail. “Why? What was it?” he demanded.

“Moderate smoke inhalation. Your left lung was pretty inflamed, enough to block 75% of your oxygen intake. It’s honestly a miracle you were still able to breathe for any amount of time.” April reached forward and gave Ava’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Just take it easy for now. I’ll be back to check on you in a bit, but holler if you need anything before then.”

With that, she was gone and Ava was left to stare ashamedly at anything besides her husband.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Connor whimpered. The break in his voice was enough to bruise her heart, and she shook her head numbly. Her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton instead of a functioning brain.

“I... I didn’t think it was that bad. I felt--”

“Don’t say you felt ‘fine,’ because obviously you didn’t.” Connor grasped her hand tighter and gazed at her imploringly. “Avey, you know you shouldn’t ever feel like you have to keep something like that from me. If you feel off at all, even a little bit, tell me so you can get checked out before...” He stopped, lowering his head and exhaling long and slow.

Ava knew he had seen her collapse, had been right there next to her when it happened. One second his arm was around her shoulders as they stumbled in tiredly, then the next she was on the floor asphyxiating at a torturous snail’s pace and his arms were empty. Of course Ava didn’t know what took place after that. She imagined he scooped her up limp as a ragdoll and yelled for help until his own lungs were inflamed.

Connor’s face was still turned down toward the floor. “We shouldn’t have gone to the fire.”

“No,” she said firmly.

“It was me who convinced you, and if we hadn’t been there you wouldn’t have--”

“No,” she repeated, and it came out in a growl this time. “No, Connor. You know those people needed medical treatment on the scene, the ambulances were all backed up. There would’ve been more casualties if it weren’t for us.” She lost her breath for a moment, and reached for the fresh cup of water April had retrieved for her. She felt like her lungs were oxygen tanks now, with limited quantity and shitty quality. “I shouldn’t have run in to get that little girl’s dog. I- I thought if it was just in the lobby it wouldn’t be bad.” She huffed a short, humorless laugh. “I was wrong.”

He lifted her knuckles up to his face and pressed his lips there, then rubbed his thumb over her chapped skin to seal the kiss in. “There weren’t any firefighters right there to do it. I can’t blame you,” he murmured. “Just for the love of god, don’t ever do anything like that again.”

“Trust me, I won’t.” She sighed and leaned back on the pillow, taking in his face. Clearly Connor hadn’t had sufficient time to get cleaned up; smudges of ash were still present on his forehead and he stank of burnt smoke. Ava imagined she looked similar, except a bit worse for wear. She felt thoroughly singed from head to toe. After a few minutes of quiet, she said, “You know, we really should stop making excuses for each other.” She smiled. “You can say I was an idiot.”

Connor’s jaw dropped in fake astonishment. “Really? You give me explicit permission?”

She lightly shoved his arm and groaned. “I can’t wait to go home.”

His thumb brushed over her wedding band as she pulled him closer to the bed. “I second that,” he agreed.

#chicago med #ava bekker #connor rhodes #rhekker #fanfic

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the-house-of-the-nine · 6 years ago

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In Depths Below: Epilogue, Part 5

Later that evening....

[ L.K ] It would be a rough start to the night. Lazarius had accompanied Jursol back to her hut and patched the broken areas just before the storm let loose. And what a storm it was. No doubt those Tide Sages of Kul Tiras were at it again. But the rumbles of thunder and lightening crashing all around, as well as the torrential downpour, it bound them inside.

Lazarius had stripped down to his shorts in the swampy jungle heat once more. The glistening of his brandings, tattoos and scars evident in the light of what few candles there were to give them a way to see. He sat on the edge of the cot she had given him to rest on earlier, and in his silence, his extended palm in front of him would flicker with small galactic wormholes that would pop into existence and fade. A black purple flame swirling around him. He was simply toying with his magic.

“We once worshipped N’Zoth, the old god of the deep. My former Mistress was the leader of our cult of The Nine. In fact, Nine member all of which lead the rest of the order to its victory and inevitably its defeat. Decades passed... I have been leading us since the times of this great Third War of the mortal races. I know your people have never been too keen on involvement but that is how long.”

He closed his hand around the flame and sighed.

[ J ] Once back at the hut, Jursol found a few things to patch the hole on the wall up with. With a smile she handled them to the elf. As she watch how surprisingly good he was at patching up such holes, a small laugh escaped her. She knew like him this was no normal storm coming. Those damn Tide Sages had it out for these lands.

[ L.K ] “In recent months we have shifted further and further away. I took it upon myself to take inventory of what it is we truly do. What we stand for. And it is chaos, but it is more than that. We are saviors of some of the most brilliant and talented minds the world has ever seen. People who would otherwise be killed for their work, or worse imprisonment. We provide a home for like minded individuals who are through fighting others wars and wish to thrive on our own. A nation away from the political nightmare and a place that offers salvation to all who swear loyalty to the cause.”.

In his hand she would see the construct of a void magic made machine. He created it from the shadow to give her a visual representation of it.

“The Void Forge is our greatest achievement. Made from Titan technology, Mogu and ancient earthen wares. It was reversed engineered to take life, not create. Essentially what it does it extracts the void magic from the Ren’dorei. The void elves. It stores it in batteries for us to use.”.

The image would rotate and turn for her to see all the massive gears and devices.

[ J ] Zandalari after all had a great naval force that could rival their own. Due to the ongoing war however, Jursol feared this was perhaps their way of hiding ships sent to scout areas ahead of the coming battle. As she listened her eyes wondered to his hands. She was still mesmerized by the beautiful galactic wormholes he was making.

[ L.K ] “The body is then stripped of its blood which is placed in a dedicated vessel for our blood mages to experiment on. And lastly, the organic husk is used as the fuel source. Perpetually it will run for as long as we provide it with its source of fuel, Ren’dorei.”

He collapsed the construct and peered over toward her, wherever she was at this point.

“We are bad people Jursol, I know this. But we are also true, pure and devoted to one another. Love and compassion are not lost on us. We do this because when the dam breaks, and the old one returns, lives will be lost. Chaos and the Black empire will return, I have seen this. These stores batteries will be enough to provide us with a shield that will allow the world to bypass us safely in the Bastille for generations to come.”

He looked toward her still and smiled.

[ J ] As he spoke of his people, The Nine, and the old one N’Zoth she listened intently to every word. Like many Zandalari she knew the threat of Old Gods was real. They were coming back and soon. Hell there was already the created Old One who posed a threat, Ghuun. While he may be defeated easier then most he was still a threat to all life. Jursol recalled a old Seer speaking of the coming storm. A storm of blood, death, dark magic not seen in years. An evil that once thought dormant was said to be returning.

‘Could dis be N’Zoth then?’ she thought.

The more he spoke of how his people, and their home far from the political nightmare that most live in, the more she realized how truly misunderstood he was. Him and his people may have a strange way of doing things, but their goal is far from evil. She could hardly believe the structure of the Void Forge was real. The way it worked, how it was made, everything about it peaked her curiosity.

[ L.K ] “I could not ask for a better person, you...you Miss Jursol, to be there with me, at my side. I would ask you for it is the respected position that you deserve.”.

She watched as he offered his scarred and worn hand toward her, the image of a serpent burned into the palm.

“Join us. You with your Magic’s..you are the prime candidate to offer us a perspective we have never seen. I see in you...a person worthy of a place where she can flourish...”

[ J ] She only had to think for a moment after he’d stopped speaking. He bright eyes looking toward him over the glare of the fire.

“You not be bad people my friend. Many forget der be times we must be doen thins we never thought we would in order to save ourselves or others Sometimes it be taken being da bad guy to get da job done.”

She said smiling looking at him.

“Da future of yo people means a lot to ya. Der be nothing wrong with dat in my eyes.”

As his hand was reached out towards her with an offer to go with him, she bowed her head and met his hand with her own clawed and scaled hand.

“I be happy ta be joinen ya Da raptors be happy as well. Dey seem to trust ya as I do.”

As she said this big raptors gave a small grunt sound in agreement. The smaller one leaping up next to the elf and laying down.

“A place to be using me magic in peace will be a nice change. Perhaps be learnen more about da blood magic I began studying before.”

[ L.K ] Lazarius would listen to her as she explained and answered each of his various questions and requests. Listened to her explain her side of things. It was quite obvious he knew she was exactly the type of person who could work with the order.

“A place for you to work your blood magic and perfect it. Our former Grand Magus. . . .��

There was that pause again when he regarded her. A hint of sadness in his eyes, but he would clear it away shortly after and continue on.

“ She has written two books on the subject, her parents before her were members of the council of Nine and served my former mistress. They’d written four. Also with the raw essence being reduced down from the forge you can perhaps practice hands on with it. I am sure a Zandalari brain can think of far more interesting ways to use the blood than we elves.”

The compliment was left there, hanging in limbo for a moment as he pondered.

“Blood Huntress Jursol.”. He said with a chuckle.

“Our last Magus took my hospitality and generosity and is currently beginning work on how to utilize this blood. If possible I’d like to put you in charge of how we research the blood within The Bastille. Perhaps you and our resident scientist Doctor Whistletorque can find a way to use the Azerite with it.”

[ J ] Jursol moved around the hut as she listened to him. Grabbing some things to make something for them to eat. Herbs, spices, dried meat, and fresh looking fish. Using a very small fireplace she worked to mix the ingredients together just so. Her clawed hands seemed skilled as she gut, deboned, and flayed the fish.

Chopping the herbs with a large knife as she placed them into a bowl. Chucks of dried beef were tossed into a pot of boiling water. A small dash of spices were added as well. Grabbing the chopped herbs she added a bit of oil to them. In another bowl she worked to crush the herbs, turning it into a paste.

The paste was rubbed over the fish before she laced it onto a rack over the fire. Some vegetable type things got added to the stew of beef and spices.

“A place to be practicing in peace be something I be happy to have again. Ta learn more den I know would be a great gift to my allies. A curse to mah enemies.”

Her face seemed calm her pleased.

“So ya be having a scientist der? Dat would make finden new ways ta use blood magic much more fun, and if he be able to use Azarite as well, dat be amazing.”

A smirk grow on her lips as she laughed.

“Well I be not letting ya down. Dis magic be something I take pride in, even if he hated by many.”

As she spoke she kept up with the food. It now smelled like herbs and spices in the little hut. Her hands stirring the stew as she watched the fish.

[ L.K ] “Well then on behalf of the Council of Nine. . I officially welcome you into our order. I know that it is not the Grand flare and show of excitement one such as yourself should warrant but...”.

The irony was not lost due to the fact that he was but one of the council, and the rest were not in attendance. He extended a finger toward the air and from it a little violet spark shot up and burst into a small firework. The explosion would for a serpent as it slithered around in a circular shape and then into a knot before vanishing.

[ J ] Jursol gave a fanged smile as she watched the serpent slither around in a circle, then a knot, all before vanishing. It seemed to entertain her to see his use of his skills.

[ L.K ] “Ive been giving it some thought. And I think I know how we can get back to the Bastille. But now comes the true test of our survival. Getting us to the Eastern Kingdoms. If we didn’t have to worry about the war I could arrange passage from Kul Tiras if we could get there. But that is out. But I need to reach Alterac. If we can get there... the former Magus I spoke of who should still be there. . .”.

He sneered and shook his head.

“I installed a gateway through her lower sub basement into the Bastille. It will place us directly where we need to be. At that point I can sever her portal thus finally putting an end to that link, and reach my sisters hopefully before something terrible happens.”.

Lazarius would give only a glance toward her meal, granted he didn’t choose to eat anymore because of the parasite but he could still appreciate her talent.

“Are you up for the task Miss Jursol? Any ideas on how we can escape this island?”

[ J ] Hearing him speak about the order, and about getting back to them, she started thinking. She knew of the Eastern Kingdoms, and heard about the Alterac. However she never ventured there herself. Pondering for a few minutes before speaking.

“Hmm, I be knowing one way ya travel der. Dey be smugglers doe. We be needen ta get off Zandalar before dey can help. But if we be getting away from Zandalar dey can help get us ta Alterac, or close at least. Ta get off Zandalar we be needed a boat. Dat be easy, if not for da war. Mah people don take kindly ta outsiders. We be needen ta get past dem somehow.”

[ L.K ] “That is good for us then. Unfortunately the Horde had not actually made contact with your people before this all began. I never gave the order to send my own operatives into Zandalar. But hindsight is of course twenty - twenty.”

Lazarius would think for a moment. His eyes drifted toward his hands. The edges of his fingers slightly starting to blacked right at the tips. Alarming but not enough to warrant attention.

“What if....”.

He slowly smirked and shifted on the bed while sitting on its edge. His pale flesh glistening in the hot jungle night; the humidity was overwhelming and the rain outside on made it worse.

“You take the guise of a guard. One of the elite kings men. Since I can easily pass for a Ren’dorei, you could be doing a prisoner transfer. Say you’re taking me for a parlay with the Alliance, trading one of theirs for one of “ours”. We get our boat and sail to where these smugglers are, they’ll never see us again.”

[ J ] A grin crossed her lips as she gave the stew a last stir. Scooping some into wood bowl before grabbing a wooden spin.

“Dat may actually work. Ta get a guard be easy enough. Get one ta chase ya ta me, and I can use a dart with poison on dem. Can’t be having blood on da armor.”

Jursol took a bite of the stew before speaking again.

“Da dart be covered in jungle frog poison. Works fast and silently. Most be to busy ta question a prisoner trade. One of da Zandalari priest been missing for some time now. If dey ask I can be saying we be trading for her.”

Jursol laughed as she said that last part.

“Don’t worry she not be comon back. Saw her body being eaten by a few stray raptors. Some small men be killing her. Dey were near some strange looking metal things.”

She nodded and smiled, a tusked toothy smile.

“Yes dis may work for us.”

[ L.K ] He nodded right back, and gazed at the warrioress with a matching grin.

“Yes...dis may work for us.”

To be Continued in. . . “In Depths Below: Epilogue, Part 6″

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monaisme · 4 years ago

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Day 14: “I didn’t mean it.”

In the end, it was Captain Marvel who wielded the gauntlet.

Carol, in her infinite awesomeness had snatched the gauntlet from Peter’s hands and snapped. That simple action had taken an intergalactic madman, the likes of which you’d only see in a superhero movie, and turned him and all of his minions to dust.

It would have been the perfect end to the battle except for the fact that they’d all been standing too close to the concussive blast of the infinity stones righting the universe.

And even that would have been okay, if not for the rubble that they’d fought upon... and the pieces of rebar that had pierced Mr. Stark’s lung and shoulder.

Peter had pulled himself up from where he’d landed and rushed towards his mentor, ignoring his own injuries, and not knowing what he would find. When he saw that the man was in obvious pain and afraid, Peter knelt before him, “Mr. Stark! We did it!” he announced. He opened his mouth to say more, but was pulled aside by Thor to make room for Ms. Potts and Mr. War Machine, which was okay because of course they’d want to be with him and he was just... well.

Instead, Peter stepped even further back, watched, and waited alone on the periphery.

Peter was starting to feel pretty nauseous even as he tried to tamp it down. The cacophony of activity and sound around Mr. Stark was too much—the whispered chatter about the now diagnosed concussion from impact, the strangled gasping for breath, the panic of trying to keep Tony awake, the sluggish pulsing of blood from his wounds... and the gradually slowing beat of Mr. Stark’s heart.

Please no.

A circle of fire, like the one Doctor Strange had used on Titan and to get them back to the battle appeared and the man himself walked through. He threw his fire circle to envelop Tony and those closest to him, and in a literal flash, they were gone.

Peter stood there staring at the spot they’d only just occupied and hoped that they’d get Mr. Stark to help on time. If anything happened to him, when Peter had already blown it back on Titan? Well-- He didn’t know what he would do.

It was a few minutes before someone approached him there, not that he’d noticed, trapped in his own thoughts.

“Hey, um, Peter, right?” Captain America walked up to him slowly.

He blinked, Peter, and realized he was being spoken to—and that his mask was still clutched in his hand.

Oh.

He looked all around him, and noted that he was surrounded by several Rogue Avengers—but... were they still rogue? Did it even matter now?

Peter cleared his throat. He figured he needed to answer before it got any weirder, “Yeah. That’s me.” He cocked his head in sudden confusion, ignoring the pain when he moved it. He needed to know, “How do you know my name?” Mr. Stark had been so adamant that the Rogues not know who he was.

The others seemed to get his discomfort, so they all spread out, picking through the debris.

Captain America just smiled gently, “You’re Peter Parker, A.K.A. Spider-Man. You were one of The Lost.“ Captain America paused to let him take that part in.

“Lost?”

Captain America nodded. “Thanos snapped five years ago and half the universe disappeared. We were stuck for a while on how to make things right,” Captain America pulled back his cowl and scrubbed at his hair, “But we finally got there with a fresh perspective.” He pointed to the guy that had done the small-big thing at the airport in Germany. “And then Tony just needed that last push to get us over the finish line.”

Captain America didn’t add anything to that, but the thought felt unfinished so Peter asked. “Um, the last push?”

Captain America smiled again, “You haven’t figured it out? Peter—that last push was you. Tony was a shell of himself. He tried so hard to pretend that he could be happy with stepping back, but he hid away.” He stepped closer to Peter, “He hid away until he realized he could get you back and then risked everything to do it.” He paused. “So, yeah, all of this,” he waved a useless hand around him, “is because of you.”

Him? Peter took that moment to take in the devastation they stood in the midst of. There was no distraction of battle, just fire and smoke and dust and ash settling upon the bodies—Peter gasped. There were bodies scattered across the battlefield. It didn’t matter where he looked, he could see them, human and alien alike.

And as he saw them, he thought of Mr. Stark. Was he dead, too? Had Peter played a part in the death of another person he cared for?

How could he ever redeem himself?

Before he could even process the magnitude of that impossible task, Captain America was leading him away from the carnage and toward one of the fire rings being generated—by monks? It was getting to be too much so Peter closed his eyes and trusted Captain America to lead him wherever he needed to be.

A wash of warmth overwhelmed and distracted him from his dark thoughts. He opened his eyes to see an open field of green with rings opening and closing all over the place, leaving Peter confused as he tried to figure things out. “Where are we?” he asked as he spun around. “I don’t—“ Peter stared up at the unfamiliar sky and his heart raced. “Please,” he whispered. “I can’t—“ he choked out. The idea of another battle on another planet so soon... too soon! But it was his fault and if he needed—needed to... His chest tightened and he couldn’t catch his breath. “Capt—“ he wheezed.

Apparently Captain America knew what Peter was struggling with immediately and stepped in front of him. “Hey, hey! Peter. You’re okay, son.” He grabbed at the scruff of Peter’s neck and tried to squeeze in an effort to ground him—which would have maybe worked if Captain America hadn’t pulled his hand away to see the fresh blood that no one had noticed because Peter had really needed a haircut for the last FIVE years.

Peter’s brain chose that moment to ignore all outside attempts at help.

The wizard had said it had been five years and Peter hadn’t believed him.

And then Peter was fighting aliens with Mr. Stark who wasn’t stabbed and bleeding to death on an orange planet somewhere out wherever...

And Mr. Stark was holding him, trying to keep him together, but it was hopeless and he’d been so afraid because it hurt and took so long.

Captain America had said it had been five years and Peter thought maybe the wizard was right...

—Because then Mr. Stark really was impaled and bleeding to death there on Earth and maybe he was dead like all the bodies back on that field while Peter wondered what planet he was even on.

He must have had some sort of tell, because Peter could barely make out the desperate shouting of Captain America for ‘Sam!’ before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he was gone.

* * * * * *

Peter wasn’t awake to hear the laundry list of injuries he’d accumulated during his time on Titan and in Upstate New York.

He wasn’t awake for the stitches and he even slept through the insertion of an IV to keep him hydrated after his unconscious state reached the three hour mark.

Oddly enough, he was awake enough to hear the conversation between Ms. Potts and the doctor on the other side of the hallway as he lay in his bed, thank you very much, super hearing.

“... so yes, Mrs. Stark, the concussion will resolve in a week at the most, but even with physiotherapy, there is still a risk that the damage to his left arm is irreversible.” Peter guessed that it was a doctor who had spoken.

“You haven’t met him, he’ll be up and on the mend in no time.” Ms. Potts spoke—er, Mrs. Stark, he meant, spoke with assurance.

Peter’s heart dropped. Mr. Stark lived for working with his hands and the thought that he couldn’t...

No. Peter would find a way to make it right for Mr. Stark, and he would find a way to atone for his role in all of that death. Now.

His plan was to get out of this med bay and figure out where he was. Only then could he figure out how to get where he needed to go. Simple right?

The move from lying to sitting was not complicated in theory, but near impossible in execution. His left arm was trapped in a weird sling that limited not just the arm, but his shoulder and ribs movement as well. What should have been easy suddenly involved more muscles than his body was willing to allow.

But that might have been the painkillers.

Peter noted the IV in his right arm as soon as he recognized the haziness in his thought process. With his left arm completely out of commission, Peter needed to use the tools at hand, which is why he decided using his teeth to rip the offending bringer of painkillers from his body was the best course of action. He needed a clear mind.

Someone walked past the door to his room, so Peter feigned sleep and slipped his now bleeding hand underneath himself. He needed to get out, and if doing so meant he had to play the waiting game, then so be it.

Then Peter fell back to sleep.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d slept, but he was certain that he’d have no problem staying awake now that the painkillers were leaving his system. The pain was barely manageable. It didn’t matter, though.

He dragged his arm out from beneath him, shaking it awake as he tried again to get up from the bed, and failing again. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard!

The pain was getting worse, of course. What did he expect? But then desperation got the better of him. He was already suffering. Why was he allowing it to stop him from accomplishing his goal? It was totally a mind over matter thing. Right?

With no second thoughts and a burst of strength, Peter grabbed the edge of the bed and pulled himself up, stifling a scream as he twisted to swing his legs off the bed. Black spots danced before his eyes and he swayed where he sat but sheer stubbornness kept him from toppling to the ground.

He thought he’d heard some movement in the hallway outside of his room, but couldn’t do anything more than freeze and hope for the best.

No one entered.

Finally, he started to feel a little steadier. Yes, he still hurt, but he had his spider-healing. He’d be fine. He could push through it. He’d done it before. He had work to do and it wasn’t gonna get done if he was sitting on this butt doing nothing. He owed everyone that much.

Again, no second thoughts, Peter pushed forward, planting his feet on the ground.

He was really starting to hate the black spots.

They cleared up faster this time, which was good, and with a steadiness allowed only through the use of sticky fingers and a snail’s pace, he made it to the hallway.

He just needed to make his way—

A throat cleared. “It was a real pain getting you into that bed in the first place, Mr. Glue Hand. You’d sure as hell better have a good reason for being out of it.”

Peter froze.

Falcon stood up from the chair outside of his room, and stepped in front of him. “Well, kid? Care to share with the class?”

Another person stepped into the hallway. “Peter? Honey, what are you up for? You should be in bed!” Ms. Potts—shoot! Mrs. Stark rushed forward, Peter knew, to usher him back, but the idea of her helping him when he’d messed up so big? It was too much.

He quickly stepped back and out of her grasp, not thinking that he’d let go of his support to do so. The black spots reappeared, and Peter knew no more.

* * * * * *

The next time his eyes opened, Peter was not alone.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, kid.”

Falcon.

Peter turned his head carefully and blinked, trying to clear his head. If he’d thought he was muzzy before, this was a whole other level.

Falcon leaned forward in the chair he was sat in, seemingly analyzing the boy in the bed. “How are you feeling?”

He took a deep breath, willing the clean air to help him focus. “I’m good,” he muttered. If he could convince them maybe he could go and get down to work.

“Kid, the doctors have final say on when you leave that bed... but I want to know, what kind of work are you talking about?” Falcon asked.

Peter blinked again. Falcon could read minds?

He smirked. “You bumped your shoulder again on the way down, Peter. The doctors upped your pain meds due to the re-injury and the fact that you burned through them so fast the last time.” He ruffled Peter’s hair and leaned back in his seat. “And I’m not a mind reader. You just think really loud.”

Peter thought about that for a second, or tried to, but was interrupted.

“You didn’t answer me, kid. What kind of work do you need to do so bad that you’re climbing out of bed while dosed to the gills on drugs?”

Peter stared at Falcon while trying to think quiet. He couldn’t know that this was all his fault and that he had to... had to... had...

“What do you have to do, Peter?”

“Dammit! Was I thinking loud again?”

Falcon smiled a little softer. “Sorry, bud, you were.”

“Dammit.” He closed his eyes in embarrassment—until Peter ever so unintentionally turned that into a doze. When he woke up, though, Falcon was still there, playing on a tablet. It was almost like they were afraid to leave him alone or something.

“How long was asleep this time?” Peter wanted to know as he ran his hand down his face.

Falcon put down the tablet and looked at his watch, “Maybe an hour and a half.”

He needed to come up with another plan, some way to get Falcon out of his way so he could sneak out and start making up for every screw up he’d made since—“

“C’mon kid. You may not be as entertaining as the last time you were up, but I can still see it on your face. I know the first time we met, we were beating the shit out of each other, but we’re not there now and you look like a man with a lot on his mind.”

Peter thought about it. Falcon had proven that he was a man that did what he thought was right, rules be damned. Maybe he’d understand why Peter had to go. “Mr. Falcon, sir,” Peter started.

He snorted, “Kid, just call me Sam, please.”

Peter nodded. “Mr. Sam, sir, I have to get back out there. I have to go and fix what I can. It’s my fault that—”

“Stop.” Sam interrupted, suddenly looking upset. “Is that what this is about?” He started gesturing about the room. “By the way, the whole prison break thing and all that— that was just gruesome when we got you back in here, kid. There’s a reason they have nurses take IVs out. Seriously, it was like a slasher movie in here and you didn’t even notice!”

Peter felt his face flush and turned it away. “Sorry, Mr. Sam, sir.”

“No, no, no. No looking away. I need you to tell me why you think the actions of that purple ballsack are somehow your fault.”

Peter did look back, quite surprised to see how focussed the man looked. That is what made Peter realize there’d be no getting out of it. “It’s just that Mr. Stark got hurt because of me.” He spoke quiet and low, but Sam listened. “First on Titan when I couldn’t get the glove off of Thanos...” Peter’s chin quivered, but he fought the urge to cry and kept going. “And then when Captain America said that all of this was my fault, I realized that I have to—“

“Stop.” Again Sam interrupted and sought clarification. “When did Steve say that?”

“Um, on the field after...” A few tears escaped. “After they took him away—“ He swiped the tears away. “And now his arm is all messed up and I know it’s gotta be killing him that he may never build with it again and I have to make it up to him somehow...” he trailed off and thought for a moment. “I have to be better.”

Sam stood up, gestured to Peter to wait, and walked to the door of Peter’s room, looking out into the hallway, first left and then right. Finding who he was hunting for, he hollered, “Yo,’ Cap, get your ass in here!” then stalked back to his seat.

Captain America appeared almost immediately. He smiled at Peter when he saw him lying in the bed, “Hey there, son. How are you?”

Peter gave a weak, wobbly half-smile in return and opened his mouth to answer.

“Nope. No pleasantries until we clear something up.” Sam butted in again. “Can you tell me what you said on the field, after everything was over? ‘Cause I think we have a miscommunication here.”

Appearing to be confused, Captain America obliged, “Sure? I think I told Peter that he was the reason for us finally having the ability and in Tony’s case, the motivation to fight Thanos and win.”

Peter was still feeling foggy, but that wasn’t what he’d said. “You said I was the reason for...” he lifted his hand in an attempt to replicate what Captain America had done, “for all of that.” His attempt at staying calm was failing. “There were so many bodies and...”

Captain America’s eyes were wide with horror. “Peter,” he stepped toward the boy’s bed, “I swear to you, I didn’t mean it—not like that! We brought back half a universe and none of that would have happened without you. Clint is currently on hour two of a phone call with his wife and kids. We can hear the birds singing again!”

Peter fought back, “And Mr. Stark’s arm is damaged to the point where he may never use it the same way again!”

Sam and Captain America looked at each other, confused. “Peter,” Captain America finally said, “Tony’s arm is going to be fine. Why do you think Tony can’t use it?”

Peter refused to be pandered to. “Don’t lie to me, Mr. Captain America, sir. I heard the doctor talking to Ms. Potts.” He realized his error after the fact. “Argh! Mrs. Stark! Whatever! I heard them. He has a concussion and left arm injury that may be permanently damaged!” He took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm himself. He could tell that his being upset was not helping his situation, and the drugs they were pumping into him were making him feel a little nauseous again.

Sam stepped closer now, “Peter, did a doctor come in to talk to you at all today?”

Peter hesitated before answering. “Why?”

“Peter,” Sam spoke softly. “Those are your injuries. Tony’s arm is hurt because of the rebar, but the repair has been done. Heck, he’s even been awake and talking to Pepper and the rest of us.” He ruffled Peter’s hair again, “Kid, you’re the one they’ve all been talking about.”

“I don’t understand?”

“Peter, I was outside your room waiting for you to wake up so I could talk to you about physiotherapy when you decided to fly the coop. We’d obviously have a professional with us, but Tony and Pepper thought Rhodey and I would be a good support ‘cause Tony will be a pain in the ass if we let him in and he knows it.”

Peter took another look at the sling he was sporting. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

No one said anything for a bit until Sam piped up, “So the Wakandans—“

“We’re in Wakanda?” Peter called out. “In Africa?”

Sam turned and glared at Captain America, “Did you do anything right with this kid, Steve? Seriously?”

Captain America looked bashful. “Sorry about that, Peter.”

Peter waved it off. “At least I know now,” he replied.

“Well, like I was saying,” he went on, “The Wakandans are hoping you and Tony will be okay to travel in the next day or two so we’re gonna plan for that if you’re cool. Cool?”

Peter nodded.

Captain America stood up, “If that’s settled, I’m going to let Pepper know so that we can start making arrangements.” He stared down at the kid, “I’ll come and visit again tomorrow, if I can get out of my meetings, okay?”

He guessed the life of a super hero never stopped, so he answered with an “Okay,” and Captain America was out the door.

Peter cleared his throat, feeling awkward. “Thanks for sorting that out... I feel kinda’ stupid about the whole thing now that I think about it.”

Sam seated himself. “Steve was communicating with a kid who was injured, terrified, and obviously in shock. The man is both a dorito and a dumbass,” then Sam shrugged. “But what can you do?”

Peter chuckled, “Doesn’t matter. I still ‘preciate it.”

Yup, Sam could definitely tell that he was tired. “Look kid, you get some sleep, alright? And when you wake up, we’ll make sure you’re filled in on everything.”

Peter nodded. “’kay.”

Sam stared at the boy for a second and then added, “And I’m gonna talk to you about some things, too, ‘kay? Because you’ve got some heavy guilt shit to work on and good people don’t deserve that.” Sam laughed at a thought, and added, “... and anyone who calls someone ‘sir’ as often as you do must be a really good person!”

Peter stared back and said nothing.

“And you may be a good person, Peter, but that will not stop me from kicking your ass in physio, got it?”

“Got it.” Peter smiled as he whispered, then closed his eyes, and fell asleep.

@febuwhump

#febuwhump #febuwhump 2021 #fanfiction #guilt issues

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1nspirited-blog · 7 years ago

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the five stages of grief

The casket is moved away from the room as family members and close friends follow behind, fruitlessly dabbing at their faces with tissues while they sob uncontrollably.

The service ends with a heavy atmosphere, but to some, it feels like the hardest part (which was saying goodbye) is finally over. But getting over this kind of situation isn’t as easy as it sounds. Here enters the five stages of grief.

I. Denial

- The first stage. You’re still taking the world on with fresh wounds, trying to keep it together but failing horribly. You try to hold onto some semblance of order, but in reality, it is just the beginning of this terribly long healing process. It helps you cope while you’re in a terrible position, letting the world know that you can only take so much.

Dull eyes dart around, examining the bedroom from a whole new perspective. I don’t feel like doing anything, to be quite honest. The dim glow of the iPad screen calling to me could not alleviate the gnawing pain in my chest, so I just curl underneath the blankets as my eyes flutter shut. A deep blackness pervades my vision, only reminding me of how the world has lost another kind soul to the dreary unknown. Numb, I try and surrender myself to a state of restfulness.

II. Anger

- The second stage. You start radiating a hostile aura to those who wish to comfort you. Oftentimes, you might even start questioning the presence of God in this situation. It may seem a bit concerning, but anger is a necessary phase. It is an indication of how intense your grief and love is. Bottling these emotions will only lead you into an even worse state. This needs to be expressed so people can delve into deeper emotions; ones you try to keep under close watch.

“I can’t talk right now,” I growl lightly, pressing my legs against my chest. The laptop in front of me now seems like a forgotten case as I assess the situation in my mind. I lost someone I loved to the inevitability of death. I can’t help but feel like I didn’t do enough, and I was angry at myself for that. I kept trying to find things to blame for what happened. But alas, that cannot bring the soul of the departed back to reality.

III. Bargaining

- The third stage. After experiencing loss, bargaining can be considered as some sort of promise or agreement. Sometimes, before being whisked away to sleep, you would clasp your hands and pray to the Lord, “I promise I’ll try harder to become a good person. Please don’t take anyone I love away anytime soon.” Accompanying this stage of grief is guilt. This is where you start looking back at what could have been, and if things could have ended differently if you had paid more attention.

My gaze meets the ceiling as I lie down on the bed. Now that I think about it, I’ve never made too much of an effort to talk to my loved one. I don’t think I will get to anytime soon, that’s for sure. ‘If only I were more considerate,” I think, reprimanding myself for my selfish actions. I had all the time in the world, but I couldn’t even spare a few minutes each day to have a conversation with my now deceased family member. Tonight is the night where I enter into a really personal conversation with God, mentioning that I am sorry for my lack of attempts and how I wish he will continue to protect the people I hold dear.

IV. Depression

- The fourth stage. A much more profound sadness takes over, and you might feel as if this part of the process is endless. This stage puts you in a reflective position, making you start to question the point of things. And as worrying as it sounds, it is an appropriate response to a terrible occurrence.

I don’t feel like talking. I don’t move from my current state. I just stare absently into my hands while my back is slouched. Tears sting my eyes, and I let out a tired sigh. Sometimes, the things I do just seem very futile. As if it didn’t matter because the results are already determined.

V. Acceptance

- The final stage. You finally accept the reality that your deceased loved one is no longer here. Here you have acknowledged the loss of their physical presence and realize that things have changed, and you have to adjust to it. No, this does not mean you are okay with how things went, but it definitely is a move upward. This way you can move on and create new relationships and experiences.

Days have passed. I cannot keep myself down forever because of my loss. Yes, it will still hurt when I look back at what has happened, but I know that it would be better if I learned to accept these sort of situations. This way I can clear myself of my inhibitions and proceed to discover new things. Having understood the things I’ve experienced, I will do what I can to help not only myself, but also others who may go through the same thing.

#lyrical essay

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ralphmorgan-blog1 · 7 years ago

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30 Reasons To Leave Your Hometown Before You Turn 25

Hamza

Moving away from home in my early 20s has helped me become stronger, more aware, and most of all, more thankful. This article is intended to help illustrate how and why I think its a good idea to leave your hometown at a young age.

Ive made some pretty good decisions in my life. I can confidently admit that. Ive done a lot of things in my life that Im happy about. There are a lot of times I can reflect back on and genuinely be glad that I made a certain decision and it led me to where I am now.

For example, Im genuinely glad that I worked hard in school and that I was receptive to my parents when they were telling me education was important. Even though I didnt make straight As and often got into arguments with my parents about my grades (I thought a B was good enough), my good GPA allowed me to get into a good college and actually made me one of the first in my family to graduate with a four-year degree.

Along with that, Im happy about the college I chose and made the friends that I did. I dont know where I would be without a lot of the people in my life, and I owe a lot of that to my 4 years spent at Duquesne University.

However, up to this point, there is nothing I can be more thankful for than the fact that I moved 1,100 miles away right after college. This arguably has taught me more about life, myself, and others than anything else ever has. I wanted to share some of the things Ive learned along the way, which again is the intention of this article.

I am writing this with two people in mind.

Person 1

The person who is currently living in their hometown without a real reason to stay there. Maybe you have considered moving away from home before, but something keeps holding you back. Youre not sure what it is. Maybe its the fear of the unknown, maybe you dont want to be lonely, maybe youre trying to be smart with money (I get it), or maybe its just the simple fact that you like where you are and dont want to leave.

Person 2

The person who actually has moved from home, has had a great experience, and can relate to some of the incredible things that happen as a result of trying something new.

So, coming from somebody who was once Person 1 and now happily can consider himself in the Person 2 category, Ive come up with 30 reasons to illustrate why moving away from home was the best decision of my life to date.

(Disclaimer: Before 25 years old was not meant to be exact. This list is true for many other ages. The main overarching point is that moving somewhere new at a relatively young age is really helpful starting out.)

Here is the list, based on my personal experiences…

1. You will learn what it means to be truly independent.

You will learn what it takes to not rely on others for assistance with every little thing. Youll figure out what to do if your tire pops, when your air conditioner breaks, when you dont know what to cook for yourself without immediately relying on family and people you know. It feels good to figure things out on your own.

2. Conversations are easy and interesting.

People in your new city will find you interesting and ask about where youre from. Youll do the same for them and it will be fun to talk about similarities, differences, and past experiences.

3. You arent tied down with commitments.

If youre going to uproot your life and do something entirely different or risky, you might as well do it before having kids, a family, and multiple established reasons to stick around. When else will you get to do it?

4. You can start completely fresh.

If youre unhappy with your life at home, need a change, or made some mistakes, it can be hard to move forward. If you want to re-brand or re-invent yourself, moving away allows you to start over with a clean slate.

5. Drake was wrong new friends.

There is no such thing as not making new friends. Well there is, but its boring. There are plenty of ways to make new friends in a new city. After moving to Florida and seeing others do the same, I reflect back on how everybodys group of friends is now completely different from what it once was. And nobody has lost their original friends just gained new, great ones. Its always fun when your hometown friends come together with your new friends too, so it helps you look forward to those kinds of meetings as well. On top of that, I met a great girl who I likely wouldnt have met had I not come to Florida.

6. Networking opportunities effortlessly happen.

You will meet people that will change your life from a professional or personal standpoint. Ive met so many people in Florida that have helped me move up professionally as well as helped me develop spiritually. This will effortlessly happen when you move.

7. New skills that wouldnt happen otherwise.

Youll learn new skills by moving away from home. I got golf lessons in Florida, which is something I likely never would have done in my hometown. Also, I now know a ton about data analytics and all sorts of paid media, which may not have happened had I not made the leap.

8. You hear different perspectives.

Gaining new perspectives is a huge part of moving away from home. At home, you only know the perspective of people who had a very similar experience to yours. You all went to the same high school, knew the same people, went to the same places, and had the same favorite teams. You will meet people whose mindsets and backgrounds will inspire you and maybe even teach you something about yourself that you never unlocked before.

9. Different weather.

Moving from Pittsburgh to Tampa was shocking because I had never gotten so much Vitamin D in my life. Whether its moving from cloudy to sunny, rainy to dry, sunny to cold, you will find new weather which will lead to new things to do, and possibly even an appreciation for what you had experienced before.

10. Different things to do.

I used to always hang out with my same couple of friends, go to the same couple of bars, hang out at the same houses afterward, on the same days of the week, at the same times. And its always the same people at those bars, every time. I do such a variety of things now and its so much more interesting. Moving away from home may freak you out because your mind is trained that there are only a limited number of things to do. But when you leave, you realize that it is all dependent on your location, your friends, the weather, your job, and many other factors that will likely give you so many more options.

11. Your parents already did their part.

Not to be overly harsh, but if youre still living at your actual house, realize that your parents already did their job in raising you, and that you need to not only give yourself some freedom, but give them some as well. I understand easing into real life, but still living at home long after college is pretty drastic, even if it allows you to stack up money. Moving away from home will be good for you and your parents.

12. Learning to survive with insecurities.

There are times youll feel insecure. Walking into a social situation alone. Walking into a new job. Presenting at a business meeting to people older than you. Barely affording rent. Seeing people in better shape than you. But the beauty of it is that you learn to handle this and use it as motivation to get better. If you never experience being insecure and getting through it, youll have a harder time handling situations later in life.

13. Greater confidence.

From learning to deal with insecurities, you gain confidence. You start to realize after a while that youll get in a groove, start learning more, things will start clicking, and youll get better at things. You will have way more confidence knowing you made it there yourself. One day youll look around and realize wow, I have a nice place, a car I paid for by myself, and a whole group of friends in a new state. Its amazing to look back and realize how much youve grown.

14. You discover new interests.

You dont know what you dont know. Moving to a new place might introduce you to something you didnt know existed. I know people who have experienced moving away from home to different states and ended up going down paths they originally hadnt planned because they found something they were passionate about. Some are pursuing their dream jobs now. What is more fun than that?

15. You learn to trust yourself.

When youre in a new place, you often have no one else to rely on except yourself. Yes, there are people you can ask at work, you can phone a friend or family member at home, but sometimes you have to make big decisions on your own. One thing Ive learned is that I trust myself and my gut decisions more. That gut feeling is something I have a lot more faith in now and I usually know that the decision Im making will make sense.

16. Growing closer to your family.

I appreciate my family so much more when I look at my situation now and realize that I wouldnt have gotten here without them. They instilled me with a mindset that made me confident enough to move 1,100 miles away at age 22. They provided me with enough support to get me started. They helped get me through college. When you realize these things, and you dont see them as often, you make it a point to call them, see them, and get closer to them. It just happens.

17. Youll view your hometown more positively.

Sometimes I go over a year without going back home. But when I do go back home, I really appreciate the little things I thought were awful and boring before. For example, Florida (although beautiful) is very flat, and there are just palm trees and similar views everywhere. Now I go home and I really appreciate the basic things like the hills and different views I dont get here. My girlfriend, who grew up in Florida, has encouraged me to appreciate landscapes and views other than palm trees. When she came back to Pennsylvania with me for the first time, I was shocked as to why she thought it was all so beautiful, but now I understand. Its also nice to keep close with hometown friends and of course, family.

18. More career opportunities.

There are only so many jobs within reasonable traveling distance from you. Lets say you have a marketing degree and you live in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA. There may be 300 jobs available, with 45 of them being in your experience range, with the maximum salary being $45K for the ones you qualify for. You could move to a different city and there could be 800 jobs available, with 160 of them in your experience range, with the maximum pay being $70K for one you could actually get. You could just be missing out on potentially great career opportunities and more money just because of your location and unwillingness to leave.

19. You reflect more.

Moving away from home teaches you to reflect and be alone with your thoughts, in a positive way. When youre in your hometown and youre constantly surrounded by people you grew up with and family members, you may not get a lot of time alone. Especially at home when your parents are asking you questions left and right. When you move away, you can get a one bedroom place and literally be alone for an entire day if you choose to be. With distractions being everywhere these days, it can be comforting and helpful to just get away and reflect.

20. You learn to manage money.

You have to. Ive lived in one bedroom apartments most of my time in Tampa and believe me it gets expensive. New situations means more things you want to do/try, which means more spending. Not to mention Im a caffeine freak (but trying to get better) so I spend at least $3 per day. Anyway, you learn to manage your money. You even learn how to get in a little bit of debt then get out of it which is always fun.

21. You experience the feeling of accomplishment.

This is similar to number 13 (gaining confidence), but with a heavy focus on reflection. It is so nice to look back on your situation, where you came from, and realize how far youve gotten. After 4 years I finally feel established in a new city/state and it is an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment and thankfulness. You will also get new jobs, reach new milestones, and achieve different things.

22. Phones exist.

You can easily call people, see what people are up to on social media, and text. Snapchat is basically real-time. You literally can be 1,100 miles away and know exactly what happened all weekend in your hometown. More often than not, your weekend ends up being more interesting.

23. Traveling exists.

When you move, if you really miss home that bad, or youre just going through a time where you are extra lonely for whatever reason, you can travel. Its never impossible to see people after moving away from home. Depending on where you move to, long weekends can even make sense. Its important to make the most of a long weekend every once in a while. I know people in Florida who travel home for almost every long weekend when theres a holiday on a Monday or Friday.

24. Holidays become more exciting.

Naturally, as you get older, holidays just arent the same as they were when you were younger. However, when you move away to a different city or state, they do get a lot more exciting when you finally get the chance to come home. Holidays such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter become times you look forward to more than ever before. They become reunions. They become so much more special because you havent seen people in so long. Similar to number 2 above, you have so much more to talk abut when you do go home.

25. You will inspire others.

One thing Ive found to be rewarding is that other people get inspired by your own experiences. Ive had friends move to Florida because of a visit with me. My brother saw me succeeding by moving away from home and ended up doing the same. I talk to people at home who say theyd love to try something new. Its good to set an example and inspire others.

26. You have the ultimate freedom.

I dont want to get this one confused with having personal independence. What I mean here is that you can make literally whatever decision you want. You can buy a car. You can get a dog. You can pursue a different field of work. You can make huge life decisions without dealing with the pressure of people around you. While typing this, I realized that a dog and a car were my two biggest purchases to date and Ive told my parents after the fact in both cases.

27. You can make huge mistakes.

Along with number 26, you can make massive mistakes and mess up your life temporarily. You can handle getting fired from a job, you can ruin a friendship, you can make a mistake in a social situation, or you can wreck your car. Making huge mistakes is fine because they will always work out and youll come out stronger on the other side. Moving away from home and having the ultimate freedom allows you to make bigger mistakes that allow you to learn bigger and more important lessons.

28. Feel comfortable making drastic changes.

You can shave your head. You can grow a long beard. You can start dressing a little differently. You can paint stripes on your car, or buy a car in a bright flashy color. You can start rooting for Florida State football (youre welcome Kelly). The point is moving from home allows you to feel comfortable reinventing yourself and just trying things out for fun. You may not even do anything drastic, but there is something cool about knowing you can, and you can feel comfortable. When less people know you, this is easier to do without feeling too weird.

29. Your comfort zone will limit you.

Comfort zones are nice to an extent, but they are restricting. If you train yourself to be too comfortable in your 20s, you may try to be too comfortable in your 30s. You might always lean towards whats easier for your entire life. The same way you make coffee or go for a run to set the tone early in the morning, set the tone early in your life by trying something new when youre young and hungry. That pattern just might follow you for your whole life.

30. Your faith will grow.

Ive naturally had faith in higher powers just from being raised in the church and reading the Bible. However, until you actually experience it in a real life way, you have no idea how much your faith can grow. After moving away, I had to figure a lot of things out, and HAD to have faith. Faith grows when you go through difficult experiences that challenge you. All in all, I would consider myself a work in progress from a spiritual standpoint, but after moving away I am exponentially more aware and more appreciative of Gods workings in my life.

30 things? Thats it?

I could keep going Im sure, but Im sure a small percentage of you even made it this far down the page. If you have, and youre somebody who is debating moving away from home for the first time, I hope this has helped you understand from an insider perspective that there are some great things in store for you if you take the leap.

For people who have already made a move, I hope you were able to relate to some of these points and I hope your experience has been as rewarding as mine. Feel free to comment with which ones in my list of 30 resonate the most with you, or if you have any others you would add about moving away from home.

If you dont fit into either one of these categories, maybe you know somebody who is struggling with the idea of moving away from home, or somebody who has done it recently and is having issues. Feel free to share this with them too!