#ive gotta watch these movies again damn

[loverboybrightsideghost]

as a malevolent fan, i was watching venom giggling and kicking my feet the whole way through

[ilonacho]

i miss having time for fandom😔

[creepswrites]

Hi! How are you?

First of all I just want to say that I really love your writing style <3

I also have an idea if you might be interested (if you don't want to write about it, that's okay feel free to ignore this request)

May I request for Bo Sinclair and he's teaching a reader how to play billiard? I don't know if you remember the scenes when Bo is in the living room and we can see they have a billiard table there (I wanted to show you pictures but I couldn't send them so I hope this makes sense)

Anyway thanks in advance

Have a nice day/night!

okay so i rewatched the entire movie start to finish for your request to see the table and I THINK IVE GOT AN IDEA OF HOW TO DO THIS, i hope you like it!!

BO SINCLAIR TEACHING GN! READER HOW TO PLAY POOL

"Bo, are you sure I'm gonna get the hang'a this?" You pouted slightly, leaning against the table as Bo set up the game. "It sounds complicated."

"'We'll take it slow. Ain't no rush." He smiled at you as he passed your own cue stick. "So this here's the cue stick. 's got a lil chalk piece on the end there, that's the side yer gon' shoot the balls with."

You frowned as you looked between the sticks. "Yours is longer than mine."

Bo snorted, making you swat him. Perv. "Yer shorter than me, 's to be fair." He ruffled your hair playfully and began organizing the balls in the center of the table inside a triangular rack. "So, I'mma break the rack. Ya use the cueball, the all white one here, an' whatever ball I knock into the pockets is my color."

You watched Bo carefully line up the shot and launch the cue ball into the cluster of balls, stripes and solids scattering about the plane of green. A single yellow ball fell into a side pocket. "Alright, now what?" You asked curiously.

"Well, I'm solids, so you gotta use that lil white ball to knock the striped balls 'round." Bo said, leaning dramatically on his cue stick. "Try 'n get 'em into the pockets 'fore I get the solids in."

Seemed simple enough. "And whoever gets all their balls in wins?"

Bo nodded, a warm smile on his face. While he knew pool wasn't really your thing, he appreciated your efforts to learn for him. "Yep. Get all the balls in, knock the 8 ball in, an' ya win." He gave you a little shrug. "Easy."

You blinked in confusion. "Wait, but, the 8 ball is a solid?"

"Yeah, y'ain't wrong. But we both gotta play for it. 'sides, otherwise the balls're too uneven." Bo hummed, motioning you to come closer. Once you stepped into his space, he pulled you gently against his chest. "Alright, I'mma show ya how to line up a shot."

"You sure this ain't just an attempt to bend me over a table?" You teased him with a playful elbow.

Bo's face was red as he cleared his throat. You made a mental note to touch on that later. "So, use your fingers to rest the cue stick," he said, voice low in your ear as he guided your hands to rest on the table, "An' rest the stick there atop your fingers. Makes it easier to shoot. Now, aim at the cue ball and try to knock it into one'a them striped balls. See if you can get it into the pocket there in the corner."

You bit your lower lip and squeezed one eye closed in concentration. It took a few scratches at the table but eventually you knocked the cue ball against the striped ball. It bumped gently against the side of the table and you blew a raspberry.

"You got it, darlin'. Takes practice 'sall." Bo said, kissing the crown of your head. "Way better at this then Vince, that's for damn sure."

"Bo, I didn't even knock a ball in." You pouted yet again, leaning into his hold.

He nodded, chuckling. "Yep. Still better than Vince."

You poked at him with the cue stick and he barked out a laugh.

[andromeddog]

Oooo jumping off the previous anon ask, do you have any websites/books that good for reference that you’d recommend?? Or is a simple Google search/going from there good enough to start with

I’ve always been interested in uniforms n stuff but idk where/how to actually FIND info (especially for accuracy) but idk if Wikipedia/Google is the best for that lol

i’ve talked about this (here) and (here) before, but i will elaborate a bit more (a lot more) for you!

again my first response is to ask, what kind of uniform are u looking for? bc there’s just more info on some types than others. like, ww2 american paratroopers? sooo so so much stuff out there, maybe bc there was a wildly successful miniseries that is often listed as one of the best tv shows ever made and it mythologized the paratroopers and now everyone has a big ol boner for them and their uniforms and you can’t got two searches deep without tripping over those jump boots (said w all the love in my heart). but that being said, sometimes just a google search is enough!

this is where being familiar w each of the components of the uniform comes in handy. like oh damn i need ref of that one specific small pouch the marines have on their guns, what was that called?? oh duh it’s a carbine butt stock pouch, sometimes they wore it on their belt, i can just google that and get the exact result i want

buutttttt sometimes the online sources/pics u get are undated/unlabeled, and you have to piece together what ur looking at based on ur own knowledge of a uniform. this is especially true the older you go, and ive run into this issue with ww1 stormtrooper uniforms specifically, where you don’t have an exact date and u have to be like “welllllll i can’t be 100% sure if this is from early or late war, if this is german or austrian, but it’s close enough to what i need and i can’t find any other source that even comes close and ive spent four hours looking so im going to use this” and then you get someone in ur dms like “well actually 🧐 they didn’t wear those specific suspenders/have that patch on their uniforms/use that limited issue pouch in this theater” and then you feel kind of silly. but it’s like damn dude i spent hours looking for ref and found the only like five jpegs still remaining of this uniform pls cut me some slack. ig this is just me saying that i dont get it right all the time and inevitably there will be someone out there who has a better grasp on it and will clock your tiny error from 200 yards

to stop my pointless rambling and actually get to your question, google is a pretty good place to start but u gotta know what to be looking for. wikipedia can b helpful for kind of an intro/getting names of items. pinterest is a big one for me, i mostly like that you can save pics and organize them. i’d also check out reenactment websites/forums; those guys are dedicated to being 100% accurate and can also provide some good action shots. youtube is also a resource that i forget exists haha. following artists who are into that kind of shit, taking notes from the uniforms they draw (careful w this one, as i said earlier even ppl who draw uniforms a lot still mess up occasionally). honestly any big website is bound to have some military history enjoyers and so u can do a general search and see what comes up, that can help point to users/a community that will often have their own sources/discussions that can be helpful. ive said it before but watching movies/shows about the specific era ur looking for is great, you can see how a uniform sits and moves with a person 👍

also books! there isn’t a single catch all book for uniforms, again (again) it’s all by era/country you’re looking for. ebay is GREAT for finding super specific books on topics only you and five other people care about. sometime u can get lucky at an old used book store but that’s a real gamble and only happens veryyyyyy rarely hahah

i always use these sorts of references in tandem and double check to be sure, i swear i have like 12 tabs open and two books open per drawing just so i can get everything as close to accurate as i can. but like ive said im kind of obsessive about details (negative) and can’t be chill about anything ever. what a super cool and very practical skill set that makes me very popular amongst my peers and interests everyone once i have two beers and won’t shut up about it

ending this with my standard “did any of this make sense?” i’m going to turn on my computer now and spend the next eight hours staring at reference pics and drawing my silly little war boys have a great day everyoneeeeeeeee

[bigassbowlingballhead]

so we all know that my dreams are weirdly hyper realistic and plot driven so buckle the fuck up.

number one: everything (like, the rules of reality) was the same as real life except i guess my bf didnt exist (sad but necessary for the plot i suppose). im at thanksgiving at my parents house, which is a weekend long affair. tzp and redacted are married and also there bc they are my friends i guess. im definitely better friends w taylor than redacted but redacted and i get along and like each other. okay. the scene is set.

so, im preparing dinner with my dad and aunts like usual. taylor and redacted have slept in but taylor comes out to help eventually. he is fresh from a shower and wearing a very tight shirt. we talk while i cook and it’s clear that i need to fuck this man like, yesterday. within the dream logic, this is not the first time ive fucked around with him — this is a thing that we do. go me!

so we’re like okay, where can we go, bc i have a one story house and it’s full of family members at thanksgiving. i mean FULL. and redacted is sleeping so we dont wanna bother him, but there is literally nowhere that we can go that a family member wouldnt also be there and see us (damn you, open floor plans!!!) so what else can we do but go outside behind the pool shed, obviously.

now, it IS november in philadelphia, so it’s not WARM, but we’re making it work. i got this man bent over in a tiny corner of backyard, shirt fully off, making him see god. weve got our shoes on and mostly pants except for the important parts. hes not making as much noise as i want him to make (bc duh, we gotta be quiet), but im doing my damnedest to make him squeak, so im touching every inch of him that i can. i remember that i was thinking “i wish i had another hand to grab his hair, bc i already have one hand on his balls and the other on his dick and im not willing to give up on either of those for the sake of making him arch his back.” obviously this was a tough decision by me, but what are you gonna do. also at this point important to mention that i dont actually remember all the details, just flashes of stuff and general vibes. i was definitely like “hurry up and come man, we are on borrowed time here,” but taylor was apparently in no rush no matter how much i played with his dick. also at some point i put my hand on his stomach and could feel his abs and how he was moving every time i did and whew. that was hot.

so TRAGICALLY we were interrupted before the grand finale. i am not pleased but hey, if it’s time for dinner then it’s time for dinner. so i sit next to tzp at dinner and redacted sits on the other side and im TRYING to enjoy my MEAL but those two are definitely doing something under the table. whores.

things get a little weird and dreamscape-y here so i’ll skip most of dinner but the only relevant plot point that came up is i found out about something thats been seriously irritating me at work is happening again and so i was kinda pissed. but anyway.

so after dinner all the cousins decide to get in the pool which is insane to do bc it is NOVEMBER and my parents never even have the pool open at thanksgiving, but it’s my dream so fuck weather patterns in guess. so we’re all in the pool and taylor has clearly still not gotten off and redacted and i are having a good time messing with him, you know how it goes, standard pool shenanigans but nothing too bad bc my parents are RIGHT THERE so. keep it pg. but after we go inside?? oh all bets are OFF.

now here’s where things go bad for me. we go inside and we’re only in our towels and we’re all three looking for a place to fuck and we CANT FIND ONE. it’s only a three bedroom house and all three bedrooms are occupied. for some fucking reason we try my parents room first (which im glad was occupied bc i would not be down to fuck in my parents room, ick), but my little sister and my cousin are in there watching a movie with the little cousins, so thats a big fat no thank you. then we go to my sister’s room which yeah, i wouldnt feel GREAT about fucking in there, but it’s a redacteds threesome on the table and if i have to do it i will. but thats where my uncle and aunt are sleeping and hes in there napping after all the pie so thats another no go. so now im pretty pissed off bc of the work thing and also pls why cant we find a place to just FUCK.

so we go into my old bedroom and im thinking this will be fine, this is where redacted and taylor are sleeping anyway, (why didnt we go there first? whos to say) this will be open and we can get down. but we get in there and two people ive never met before are in the bed. what.

so my family tends to take in a lot of strays around the holidays. if you dont have a place to go for thanksgiving and you know a relative of mine, you are automatically invited to my parents house. theres always like 5-6 unrelated people at dinner just bc my uncle or cousin or whomever showed up and was like “i have extras!” and my mom is always like “dope! come in and eat!” it’s a lovely representation of the welcoming nature of my family and culture and it’s something that i always love to see around the holidays but it is also currently FUCKING ME OVER BC I JUST WANT TO BANG THESE MEN IN PEACE!!!

so im like “excuse me, with all due respect, who the fuck are you.” and the one guy was immediately rude (sir you are in MY BED) and was like “your mom said we could stay here so fuck off.” and im like??? YOU fuck off?? but then another part of me is like “no, your mother raised you better than that, you need to be welcoming to people so they dont feel unwanted.” the thing is that at this moment they are in fact VERY unwanted. so taylor is also pissed and redacted is trying to calm him down but keep in mind that taylor hasnt finished still so hes a bit bitchy. and redacted is like “what if we just went and got a hotel room somewhere,” and im like NO, we are in nothing but our bathing suits, we are all horny and ready to go, this is HAPPENING.

so i go back into my parents room and i ask my cousin hey have you seen my mom and also maybe you guys could watch the movie in the basement bc desperate times call for desperate measures and im not gonna fuck in my parents bed but maybe the floor would be fine. and shes like i think your mom is doing the dishes but why do you need a bedroom all to yourself? and i just gave her a look and i was like come on. why do you think. and she asked “ohh, okay, so wait, where do you see this going with taylor?” and i was like “oh it’s not going anywhere, he’s married to redacted, we just fuck around. it’s great, sometimes redacted joins, sometimes not, but it’s always a good time.” and she was somewhat scandalized and i was like oh right. within the context of my family that would be an objectively insane thing to just drop like that.

so anyway. after that the dream gets all weird and dreamy (there was some plotline with kamala harris i think? i think i worked for her? but she was actually also my irl boss interchangeably? idk). but thats the story of how i fucked taylor at thanksgiving in my subconscious. also i just remembered that while i was fucking him and had my hand on his stomach i could feel the outline of my strap through his abs. have a good day i love you 😘

the outline of your strap though his abs is CRAZY GIA. i love it.

also where'd the strap come from, was it stored behind the pool shed for safe keeping, are you just strapped at all times always ready to bend over a gay man? (me next)

[vvvvvvvvvvw]

your art is so pretty and attractive congrats on the beautiful practice!

not sure what you mean by practice but ty a lot for the kind words more people should do that yknow im so busy with life cant do shit rn sad af no draw no c ool spots to take pictures i find mfs like u really interesting gang im not even gonna lie this like a personal thing for me you get what im sayign like a whole vide u feel me whats crazy is like you dont just go around into everyones page and leave a cool little message like that do you like you saw my art and went to it not gonna even lie gang thats aplomb fr straight up funky and awesomesauce snazzy in a spiffy way with crumb on top apple pie style typa way ong whats up with the practice comment tho no idea tf that supose to mean fr cant sweat it tho sure thats like a nice thing ivse supose to get but dindt sorry frrr🙏🙏🙏whats really crazy is that you realy just wrote me a whole targeted compliment i dont get those irl you get me like i apreciatee you fr didnt think you hungrry like that gang find youself something to eat likego open the frige or smth this aint a fridge this is the internet you know what im saying this shit taste insane tho shit wild seafood pasta uk what im on this shit actualy market price u feel me its liek a whole personal vibe uknow you seen any tarkovsky movies tho shits insane gotta watch those gang ive been to a mental institution not too long ago no internet there ufeel me fam brought haruki murakami books and he ate fr good ass books you ever read on some gravity's rainbow that shit insane tho i liked it like damn who writes like that ever watch some akira kurosawa gotta get on that snipe tf i bought minecraft for tho i aint got nobody to play with fuckyoumean?? anywho tf im on thank you for realsies some thing in the woods i aint step a foot in there tho only for mushroom season probs whatevs like thanks again sib

[the-gayest-show]

WOFTFI 2023 Review (+ Arc Thoughts Ish)

as a small intro, ive been getting into smg4. A guilty pleasure almost, but uhhh the smg4 merch looks banger af so uhhhh uhhh (also mr puzzles this was his fault too)

watching the puzzlevision arc is great and im doing it in the order prescribed by the smg4 wiki bc fans know best.

anyways im finished the movie and i want to review this thing because i have Thoughts (spoilers under the cut since idk if anyone in this fandom cares [i dont interact with it at all atm] but i do):

I LOVED IT HAHAHA!!!!

I dont really know much about SMG4’s other arcs and previous versions of this movie (i watched like maybe 3 r64 episodes before this, feel free to flame me for it) but this movie was damn good.

though i havent watched the livestream in which apparently all the decisions were made, i find it so interesting that the fans got to choose how the movie went! I love this idea of experimenting with audience feedback and it’s genuinely made for a fun movie!

Like the few smg4 movies, ive watched prior (western spaghetti and its gotta be perfect), the style of animation is good! Ive read thru yt comments that say this is a step up from what it used to be before and such and im inclined to believe it!

Meme stuff aside, THE RAP SONG WAS SUCH A CERTIFIED BANGER AND WE GOT MEGGY SINGING (Elsie Lovelock, great actor btw) JDKSJEKEN AND MARIO GOT A SINGING VOICE THIS SHIT WAS A GENUINE BANGERRRRR I LOVED ITTTT

The battles were fun and action packed and the whole “spy rizz” meter was a great aspect! If i were a fan back then and i voted, it wouldve been so fun to see whether i chose right or wrong! Great fun!

i like the relationship development of smg3 and 4. Genuinely i love their dynamic a lot and seeing the development even if its just screentime is like enrichment to me (i ship them too now. Getting gay married would solve their problems /silly /hj)

i like how in the end smg3 DOES care for smg4 and crew and moved in closer to them (one criticism: i may be stupid but it took me wayyyy longer than needed to realize smg3 wasnt actively living in the showgrounds before this ? He appeared so often its like he lived there but he lived in that weird ahh starbucks still? Crazy.)

the notebook had a doodle of smg4 and 3 sharing coffee 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

i also like the mr puzzles foreshadowing here (call it foreshadowing when his face gets revealed for real in this movie). Generally, what ive noticed is that every time mr puzzles related shit happens, its got that stupid music attached to it. A motif. (I cant get that shit out of my head) and how the puzzlevision logo appears too. In this movie it made a glitched appearance and the theme is once again burned into my brain.

Knowing exactly what mr puzzles sounds like, the voice distortion on his voice was cool as fuck. So was that wall break. Crazy shit.

Overall 10/10, will continue watching this arc and eventually ill go backwards in continuity and watch the other arcs (feel free to roast me for this decision but mr puzzles brainrot and i was unable to not think about the puzzle vision parts I DID watch.)

[thisis-elijah]

[ mulberry ]

  [ mulberry ]  what tips would you give someone with writer's block?

🌿    /    oh, i love that! welcome to my (*drumroll*):

step I:        do something else first! for me personally i always consume a shitload of different media. no matter if it's books, movies, music or video games. i usually just tend to watch one of the gazillion fantastic movies out there (if you ever need a recommendation just hmu, i'm your friendly walking movie encyclopedia) and that alone helps me overcome any writers block. documentaries help, too! just anything that broadens your horizon really, that make you deal with situations you don't have to deal with. it doesn't neccessarily have to match the mood of your texts, but it helps. 

step II:   ​​​   plotting & planning. before i start writing any text i plot it beforehand. that doesn't mean that i know every little thing that's gonna happen, but i loosely build my structure beforehand. some scenes live very vividly in my head before writing them down, other ones just start to form on the go and sometimes i don't even know how i'm going to connect scene a) and scene b). when i hear anything that inspires me i write it down somewhere. even if it's just a couple of words. for me personally, thinking about how the scene's going to look also helps me massively. i often work with the senses in my texts. for example: you have that eerie basement waiting for you, there are shadows hidden in the corners, looking like people. the dust particles are reflecting the warmtoned light of the flashlight in your hands, barely shedding enough light to see anything properly. your palms are sweaty, it's the tension and the fear you feel rushing through your veins. the silence is almost deafening, sometimes you don't really realize it's there until you feel it weighing heavily on you. and then the smell: that god-forsaken smell of decay. the smell no one actually ever gets used to.  and now you have a setting for your character to interact with. things your character can react to. it's just like in the movies, where you're constantly in awe because of the magnificent set design. from there it's easy peasy lemon squeezy.

step III:        the right music. sounds like the most obvious thing out there, i know. i make playlists for every text i write and just listen to them over and over and over again to get myself in that kind of emotional level. for example: i've recently been listening to the soundtracks of se7en, haunting of hill house, far cry 5 and doctor sleep when writing elizabeths latest text, and then changed to kristofferson 2 (fantastic mr. fox), stuff we did (up), in another life (eeaao), mia & sebastian's theme – celesta (la la land) and magic tree and i let myself go (great gatsby) when writing another (very sad, haha) text from elijah's past. i usually just stick to instrumental music but sometimes other tunes with words can help to put you in the right mood, too.

step IV:   ​​​   practice makes perfect (and the dullness of perfectionism). you're now getting advice from someone who's (partly) paid for their creativity so it's somewhat professional lol. creativity is something you have to nourish and take care of just as your body, your mental health, your habits and whatnot. the more routine you get in being creative the easier it gets. that doesn't neccessarily mean that everything you create, write or think about will be damn good. sometimes you have really really really shitty ideas. sometimes you gonna reread your texts and have this "i started walking and my legs were walking"-typa shit going on. but that's okay. it's all a process. you just gotta start. that's why i start with trying to grasp the atmosphere my character's navigating through, because it gives me a head start. your stuff doesn't have to be perfect. it will never be. and the sooner you're accepting that perfectionism is a construct that's more of an utopia than anything else, you start to feel less pressured in many ways. perfection is boring, that's why perfect characters with barely any flaws at all are boring.

step V:   ​​​   the little things. we gonna get a little sappy here and this might not work for every person, but it sure as hell helped me. inspiration is everywhere. just as joy and beauty and moments we deem as perfection is everywhere. i noticed my texts got way better when i described very "simple" scenes that happened and filled them with fragments of memories like smells or little details. thus i started to pay attention to my surroundings more: started to look up when taking a walk, how friends of mine act around each other with their little quirks and habits, found beauty in the smallest little moments, like when the person you hug just tightens their grip halfway through. or when you cook dinner and this ray of sunshine's hitting your hands in just the right angle. or you listen to that one song that makes you remember this stupid thing that happened seven years ago. find beauty in the little things because there really is beauty in everything. even in our darkest moments, even in sadness, even in grief. i think we all have a gift with our creativity, because we can put the emotions we have into words and share them with people.  

⸻ (original post here)

[1eeminho]

i neeed to watch the new deadpool but first i had work now ive had covid and now i gotta work again literally fuck everythingg let me see that damn movie

[itseghost]

wooaahg a get to know you meme.. i was tagged by @ruushes !! thank u this is so fun hehe

three ships: just 3!! difficult 2 choose

zevwarden also very much on my mind recently. they are so special 2 me and i always get very fixated on my pcs in rpgs so im double invested lol

shadowgast :) fun fact the initial reason i decided it was time to catch up with critrole was because i heard whispers that they actually ended up being real, and then i didnt want my cr journey to be over and started watching bells hells too hehe

honestly theres others that are more at the forefront of my mind atm but i gotta shout out satosugu. was deeply sick over them for a long time

first ship: god i don't even know for sure, but honestly think it might have been thomas and minho from the maze runner when i was in like middle school LMFAO. or odin/ava from avas demon !

last song: guys, its damned for all time/blood money from jesus christ superstar. i dont know what happened to me these last couple days but i got the urge to listen to jcs again and have been playing the cast recording on loop LMFAO its so good

last movie: amazing question. probably deadpool 2 bc i watched most of it with my brother earlier this week and i have no recollection of any movies ive seen recently before that

currently reading: only truly counting tevinter nights even though theres several other books i havent finished bc some of those have been on hold for actual years atp LMAO. but the others are the left hand of darkness, humanKind, and the sixth extinction.

currently watching: always critical role. also various dropout tv shows and always jerma and other gaming channel vods/compilations :]

tagging @sotc @mourn-and-watch @teansouprmyjam @saturdaysky ONLY if u feel like it !! feel free to ignore this whole thing LOL

[himemeiya]

Stumbled upon your blog yesterday and realised you were the one behind the Utena Bet On it AMV, plus all the other videos on that channel! I had a friend who had already watched RGU reccomend the show to me and when I finished the finale she sent me a bunch of videos, essays, meta, memes she really liked about Utena. Out of the videos your vine videos, your bet on it amv and your tiktok sounds utena videos all featured as Things U Gotta Watch. Top Tier. And they are! I cannot stress how good they are. I've got a friend I'm trying to get to watch utena and I'm already prepared to send your whole channel her way.

Like, your Bet On It amv is just crazy - to the point I associate the whole song with utena instead of high school musical. High School Musical Who? I have driven home from work with the song blasting and in my head I'm thinking of the corrosponding imagery in my head. listened to the song a LOT just thinking of the amv. 'blame the world but never blame you' and it focusing on anthy. the start 'everybodys tryna get in my head' with everyone who manipluates utena? the bridge speeding up through all their utena/anthys relationship until utena gets up again at the climax of the song? This video is a masterpiece.

The vines and the tiktok sounds are soooo spot on and hilarious. every onee. and seeing an upbeat version of 'empty chairs at empty tables' to the end of utena emotionally altered something in me oh my lordie. I got introduced to the song The Draw from your other amv, which is SO PERFECT for the black rose arc?

And as a Lizzy McApline fan the ceilings youtube short took me OUT! the way the details about the car, the lines about 'you dont exist' being applied to utena's prince/akio, 'story ive seen before' being the prince/princess/witch ohturi mythology and ending with anthy at the end....... !!!!

All this to say I love all your utena edits on youtube and will be watching them many times over, as well as showing them to other people. Great work. ╰⁠(⁠*⁠´⁠︶⁠`⁠*⁠)⁠╯

🥺 This message is so damn nice and I have reread it multiple times cause oh my god your appreciation of my videos just makes me so happy and I'm so glad you watched and enjoyed them!! 😭 The support I've gotten from the fandom is very heartwarming, I just love it!!!

Yes hehe I'm the one behind all those videos! The Bet On It video specifically was one that lived in my head for YEARS until I finally sat down and decided to make it everyone else's problem too 😂 I would just listen to the song on repeat while geting overly emotional imagining Utena's journey and the fact I was tearing up to a Troy mf Bolton song was so unhinged 💀 yet now look at me, I have spread my vision like a plague amongst the fandom and everyone else gets to be just as unhinged over the golf course disney movie meme song as I am ⛳️ I would have it no other way. My favorite comments on that video are the ones along the lines of "I clicked this thinking it was gonna be funny but now I'm crying" cause if that doesn't just sum up the experience of Revolutionary Girl Utena itself then idk what does 😂

RGU's tonal conflict is one of my favorite things so choosing goofy audios for the end of the show was such a treat lmfao. And ugh The Draw is just such a good and ominous song. I rlly love how the Black Rose arc is all about radicalizing character's emotions to the point where they'll do anything to get what they think will fix their lives. Reverse therapy with Mikage is a hell of a drug. 🦋☞

I rlly feel like Ceilings captures that self-sacrificial "first love" feeling so many girls go through (especially with men) where they're uncomfortable and can't be open but ignore all those red flags until it gets to a point where things crumble and they realize the relationship never existed how they were imagining it. GAH THE FEELINGSSSS.

Sheesh thank you so much again for this message, it really brightened my week and was so touching to read. 😭💜 If I may humbly offer some video suggestions (if you haven't already watched them) I really love the For Your Love amv by Mari F and the Utena in 7 Minutes amv by Akilice. The first rlly captures that melancholic yet hopeful tone of Utena & Anthy and the latter has the audacity to make me emotional over a goddamn acapella Hamilton mashup of all things 💀 (the It's Quiet Uptown part literally destroys me every time.....). Digi Story has an Utena Deep Dive Analysis that I really enjoy, he talks about how RGU is "prismatic" in it's storytelling where there's no singular interpretation because there's just so much to look at and analyze. And finally, the Therefore You and Me animatic by edsartfactory literally changed my life it's ridiculously good!!

AHH thanks once again and I hope you have a great weekend!! 💞

[kimmkitsuragi]

ok this goes under readmore

i be thinking damn i know transition periods are super stressful n scary, and i had a very fucking bad final semester in all ways, and im superfucking stressed about the [redacted], and i am supersuperfucking stressed about the [the future career things in general which i do nothing abt rn bc *gestures at the beginning of the post* and then i become even more mega stressed] like i get that MAYBE having a break IS kinda necessary lol but then also i feel like im running out of time and i get scared that i will be stuck in a loop of not doing anything ever and ever again and all that. and i feel like it's trueeeee i gotta do SOMETHINg at one point but im fucking exploding so icannot do anything in general

and anyway what i be thinking is this: i know all THAT ^. but also like i said I gotta get past all that and Move... BUT.... then i think i literally have been showing so very bad physical symptoms of anxiety due to all THAT ^. like. very bad i think I've been having panic attacks but im not sure and i dont wanna assume????? but i had that feeling for the first time in may when all that shit was happening like i thought i WAS gonna have a heart attack or something genuinely. and it's been fine in general after mid-june but then....... this last 1-2 weeks all of THAT^^ have been becoming too much in general for me i guess. and now i get that feeling very very often like i had it 2 times (???) today and last night i couldnt sleep lol.

and ANYWAY then i think to myself please get your shit together whatever the fuck has been happening to you have been happening but like. let's move on okay. you're being pathetic and loserlike and you just have to move on like what u gonna do be jobless for the rest of time and do nothing in general like? what IS your plan babygirl perhaps we should move on and i DO think im right about this

BUT...... then literally everyone i see in the last week has been getting worried abt me like. it just makes me realize more and more that this is not just another stressful week i have to move through bravely maybe. idk what im supposed to do but it's BAD i know that i realize that. i know ive been staring at the Nothingness a lot more and i know i havent been sleeping that much and it's not for working reasons anymore so i have no reason literally (and it's not for fun purposes either like watching movies or reading or playing or whatever) and i know I have shortness of breath and a Lot of shakes and a lot of trouble with trying not to vomit and just existing in general or doing anything. and it shows in things like hand eye coordination too i have been breaking things constantly and when it's useless stuff it's whatever but like i just straight up dropped a fucking LAPTOP to the ground and it wasnt even mine i feel literally so bad abt all this i feel like all these stuff must also be worrying and or annoying for other ppl (thankfully the laptop is generally fine but the usb of the wireless mouse was totally screwed thanks to me :/) oh and I've been crying a lot but it's nothing new i guess

anyway i wrote all that to say Something has been up with me certainly but like. i am still feeling paralyzed in general so not doing anything about anything but i SHOULD. i should move on from whatever the fuck is this weird mind phase i just need to get myshit together and be NORMAL and like do the things i must do without crying and screaming and throwing up and then having a panic attack on top of that lmao

(and the worst part is all of this is literallyjust normal life stuff in general like ijust cant cope with normal stuff i guess then what the fuck am I supposed to do then)

[bloodcoveredgf]

(i hope its okay if i send a lot of these im so curious lol)

💀= what horror movie scared you to death?

💅= who is the greatest horror movie badass bitch?

🦇= favourite horror movie?

🐺= favourite type of horror movie monster?

🧨= most shocking ending to a horror film?

⚰️= favourite horror trope/cliche?

🎥= can you recommend me a horror film?

omg its totally okay tysm this is so fun :) gonna leave the answers under here because i rambled so much hgdkjf

what horror movie scared you to death?

the most recent time was back in 2018 when i watched hereditary for the first and only time... so hereditary but it was mainly for emotional reasons that movie just cuts deep for me and makes me deeply sad and uncomfortable and it genuinely horrified me back then

who is the greatest horror movie badass bitch?

queen akasha from queen of the damned like i dont care.... its always been her for me i know theres many more and they popped into my head but shes soooo iconic and badass! another that came to mind was erin from youre next and ellen ripley from alien and laurie strode from halloween.. but id have to shoutout like 80 more badass horror women to feel satisfied right now so im gonna leave it at that <3

favorite horror movie?

i am constantly fighting myself on this one but i think its officially the lost boys :) im comfortable saying that no matter what because of the sheer amount of love i have for it and how many times ive seen it and the fact i own 3 copies of it on physical media now

favorite type of horror movie monster?

ohhh you know.... vampire forever and always <333

most shocking ending to a horror film?

okay im going to mention many again because i cant control myself everrr... so saw (2004) still hits... the others (2001).. a tale of two sisters (2003) and lake mungo (2008) < all kind of plot twist movies but theres also inside (2007), excision (2012), and audition (1999) which are endings you can mostly see coming or somewhat expect but arent any less shocking or upsetting!

favorite horror tropes/cliches?

oooh soo many honestly. gotta love tropes and cliches of a genre that is most beloved to you! im definitely going to leave some out because theres so many effective and great ones like an easy one could be the final girl or weird girl and another could be creepy music swelling to signify that something is about to go wrong or tricking you into being wary of that or the scare that you wait for but it never comes/the fake-out, fear of the unknown like things shrouded in darkness or things that arent visible to the naked eye or something, the "one last scare" trope where the killer or whoever comes back for one last scare, or the twist of "it was actually this other thing/situation all along!"which isnt always effective or interesting but great when it is and is original... but a few lesser known or used fun ones im thinking of are weird/creepy/fucked up twins, losing a limb and replacing it with some kind of weapon, also technology is the mind killer and will actually kill you!

can you recommend me a horror film?

bliss (2019) or the pit and the pendulum (1961) or black sunday (1960) or phantom of the paradise (1974) ^_^ hopefully theres one in there you havent seen hehe

[kuumara]

i like being aroace and im happy that i found out i am aroace despite yk. society but its so isolating and lonely

every movie i watch every song i listen to talks ab how romance is smth everyone wants and NEEDS and if u dont want stuff like that ur "prob traumatised" and u have to fix it RN!!! and then i doubt again and again and again and its annoying asf and i think theres smth wrong w me

ive never rlly liked being close to ppl or touching them and then ppl close to me always r like "whens the last time i hugged u🥺" "why r u avoiding me?? did i do smth to u" "its bc of that damn computer innit" so that makes u feel like ur wrong and that u gotta fix urself even more yk

so if ppl around u tell u that smthng is wrong, and mass media is telling u that smthn is wrong, then something must be wrong.😐

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh i cant even enjoy stuff i used to, like shipping etc etc bc i always get reminded that im not "normal". send tweet

[pwblogarchive]

November 2004

November 2, 2004

“Complaining Couldnt Touch This Kid.”

i would feel bad ever telling anyone what to do. i have thought for months what i would say or how i should act- ive thought and thought. i don’t like kerry or bush (i like kerry alot more than bush though). i am going to vote for john kerry. i won’t beg you or tell you to do anything. but if you are of voting age and are in a swing state. please think hard and make the choice that fits you best.

peter

November 3, 2004

your princess is in another castle

happyhalloween

November 3, 2004

5:47 pm

booyah

November 4, 2004

“brothers and sisters.”

the smell of fall. leaves. the weakerthans show- "the sidewalks watching me think about you". both ewok movies back to back. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. the things they write about me versus how it really goes. the book being in my hands- how we all feel in our skin. sometimes when you're caught you just gotta throw your hands up and confess. the way you smile when you say his name like you never do with me. new songs.

peterpumpkineater

November 7, 2004

“things that mean other things always don't mean a damn thing in the scheme of things”

being home is always a rollercoaster for me. things are good, then ok, then pretty bad, then good, then bad again (not always in that order). im getting by more latley on a pair of really thick glasses and no faith in human beings. as of now i have a pro-tools situation and have been recording things, mostly just making up stuff on the go and seeing how it turns out. so far its fun. ive had a lot of my mind as of latley, just how there's so much good that turns straight to bad and im always like this the night before i leave. certain things are constant struggles for me but i keep fighting them and i dont know why sometimes when i end up feeling wrecked, but i guess my brain is trying to tell me that the few struggles i take on are worth fighting. i dunno anymore. i hope so though, because no one should feel unhappy like i do at a time like this. im not unhappy with my life, just unhappy with an aspect of it. otherwise things are pretty ok. i took my dog ben on a walk today and he was running around a lot. i picked him up a few times though he is getting far too large for that and will so be too heavy. i saw some of my friends today, not everyone that i wanted to or everyone as long as i would like to. but the people i spent my time with were more than worthy of it. the one thing that bugs me about going away for long periods of time is when i get home i feel like everything has changed around me to a degree where i cant keep up. like im a step behind every time i get home. eh, late night thoughts.

November 11, 2004

“drop it like its hot”

The day spent dreading flying. I am scared to fly for some reason. Make it to las vegas. Our flight to l.a. Was cancelled. Drove from vegas to l.a. Began working on the songs. Me and patrick are sharing an apartment here, so are joe and andy. Its like old times. The weather is amazing. There are so many good shows here. Went to over it. Gonna try and see morrissey in a couple of days. Hung out with my friend kate from the fight. She's rad. We went up on muholand drive and saw the entire city. It made me feel like I couldn't breathe. She says the word "vitamins" funny cause she's british. She also say the word "safe" a lot and calls sneakers trainers. Their record comes out next week. I command you to buy it. I miss home but this record is going to be worth it. I promise. Its going to make you think about things in a new way.

Sorry for the boring journal entry. I realize I didn't get the closure I wanted from take this to your grave. This record will have the most brutally honest words I have ever written.

That's all. Lets get hitched and grow old.

Peterpan

November 14, 2004

“I've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your fucking mouth”

We've got about 23 songs right now. Were gonna cut it down and figure them out. Its strange staying in one place for so long. If you're watching tv tommorrow- we snuck some tickets for the american music awards- I'm sure well be like a million rows back but well try to start a fight or spill a drink on someone famous on camera so you can get a laugh. I'm sure they'll never let us stop by again...

Peterpumpkineater

November 15, 2004

“finally an entry that doesnt involve joe's general tso's chicken”

the AMAs were less than interesting as i am sure anyone who watched knows. ana nicole smith was fucking faded as hell. it was like watching a blondehaired trainwreck. walked onto the red carpet by accident but we are so unfamous that we didn't even get in trouble. got to eat good food and people watch at stupid parties. hung out with my buddy chad and some kids. watched kanye west with like thirty other people- kanye west is amazing. im getting pretty sleepy. maybe ill think of something better in the morning.

im

just

out

of

chances

p

November 15, 2004

we only do it for the attention.

I'm just a broken emo record.

Time to retreat to other areas.

You know where to find. Or maybe you don't.

me and patrick are gonna go cry and hold hands.

Wink. Smile.

Peter

November 17, 2004

4:16 pm

“after the party theres the hotel lobby”

yeahyeahyeah. we're becoming so l.a. psyche! anyway. i dont have much to say except the weather is radical here. after our chicago metro show on dec 29- we're gonna have an after party and prescreen the release the bats dvd- maybe youll hear about it and stop by. youll laugh. youll cry.

laterskater

November 24, 2004

“its too bad you only look so goddamned beautiful when you're crying your eyes out”

i am going to do a better update soon. but just to say- the recording is coming along. andy is almost done with drums. his hair is so flowing. like a pony. nyc was amazing as usual. we have some suprises coming up. (if you don't like suprises than you also probably don't like saturdays, palm trees, puppies, ice cream, first kisses, etc). fuse was fun. thanks for coming out and hanging out, i felt pretty dorky and was a glad there were some people there. im sorry i had to leave right from there to my plane, so i am sorry i couldn't stick around and hang out. we'll be there all day on dec. 26th to make up for it. also, it was definitely weird being anywhere with out the rest of the band so don't expect too much of that. we are attatched at the hip.

you can get "the boy with the thorn in his side" at select hottopic's starting this week. if yours doesn't have it, ask them to order it for you.

more later. peter

oh yeah to the girl who gave me the signed morrissey picture and jetted before i could thank, THANK YOU.

November 26, 2004

their eyes are like pills. its funny. the blue ones take to you down. the brown ones pick you up. it doesn't even make a whole lot of sense looking back on it now. there are a couple of sets of eyes that are like bookmarks in life. they are there to mark the chapters. highlights so you pay attention to the changes. dogeared pages. the way she looked at me the first time- all the blood ran out of me. with the biggest eyes. that trusted and believed and dreamed and hoped and lived. so i blinked. i faked like i couldnt tell. i was always so goddamned scared to see my own flaws reflected on them. and i cant count the times i crushed them. and you realize that they will never look up at you the same.

i cant blame you for giving up on me.

join the club.

i have a lifetime membership.

- petey

November 28, 2004

“professor murder”

ok so my new shoes are kind of bad looking. but i like them. both are dunks. one are lowtops and pretty much are bears colors, the others are high tops and are white and blue. i own way more than 5 bad pairs of shoes. i own about 11 that only i enjoy and are not here to impress anyone. they know i love them and i let them know that at least once a day. maybe ill take a group picture of them for you if i get around to it. what i really wanted to say is im sorry i got into xbox so late, but i just wanted everyone to know that just because i started play knights of the old republic 4 days ago doesn't mean i haven't almost beaten it yet. because im just that close. and i made sure to buy the new lord of the rings rpg for such cases where i will need a new video game. but when kotor2 comes out, i will be learning so many force powers you'll wish the force was with you too. but its not. its mostly with me. my dog gets to have some too cause he can jump really high and can still be picked up even though he is teetering on 70 pounds at only 5 months. good job ben! you're growing up! he's probably more a dark jedi because he still nips a little and thinks it's real cool to pee when he gets excited. sorry ben, not cool my friend. just funny. anyhoo, its been a while since ive given a list of what i currently enjoy. here is such a list:

music:

owen-i do perceive

aloha-here comes everyone

pig destroyer-terrifyer

brian wilson-smile

interpol-antics

isis-panopticon

tusk-tree of no return

frank zappa-broadway the hard way

video games:

star wars knights of the old republic-xbox

lord of the rings the third age-ps2

star wars jedi academy II-xbox

grand theft auto san andreas-ps2

dvds:

aqua teen season 3

home movies season 1

arrested development season 1

star wars 2: clone wars

tv:

tom goes to the mayor

internet:

yahoo mail

food:

chicken in most any form

[isaacathom]

its ds9 time once again, because like every two weeks i remember im meant to be watching it. s2e11

fun opening, unclear on the vibe but it is fun i guess. lot of essentialism going on-

hello obrien? hi. oh keikos in this episode. hopefully for good reasons. okay so we're playing downball with rackets. squash? is this space squash? space squash. i understand now.

i do like that the squad has a range of relations to each other, namely that noone actually seems to like bashir except for like, i wanna say dax, and im not sure thats genuine friendship as much as it was pity. i just think its fun. only person on this station who genuinely likes the guy is garrick, i think. and crucially that bashir is completely unaware that people don't like him that much. cause it lets him just keep going :) hello! and obriens over here like 'jesus christ this fucking guy'

i dont know what the plot of this episode is, but i do think this unwell alien immediately divulging his life story to this guy is incredibly funny

both of these actors feel very familiar in a way i cannot place. who are you fuckers. PRINCE HUMPER- wait no while thats a fascinating role i wouldnt know the fucker off that. no way i wouldve recognised him from that. i think maybe he just has one of those faces. ditto the dead guy. wild shit.

obriens impersonation of bashir was fucking hilarious.

while checking out humperdincks wikipedia i have been reminded of the actual plot of the episode, because netflix's summaries are honestly kind of rubbish half the time, and i see it is beginning. though i guess obriens sole opponent for space squash being the sector champion is the first point of bonkers luck, and 'no fucking salt' is the second. or sauce.

okay so the way the orb works is that if you win, it gives you good luck at someone elses expense. martus gets out of prison while bashir struggles to find a sauce dispenser. obriens gonna have a fucking heart attack while he gets rich, things of this nature.

martus, very charismatic fellow.

obrien mate surely theres a treadmill somewhere you dont gotta jog in the prom- hang on hasnt odo yelled at people for running in the promenade? obrien man being on the fucking executive committee doesnt get you exemptions. okay maybe it does but still come on. (bridge crew was the word i was looking for, "executive committee" isaac)

this woman is ALSO really familiar. who are you. noone! just another of those faces! jesus im being played for a chump. have i been struck by the bad luck orb????

so bashir isnt naive, per se, but he is focusing on one specific thing - obriens ego - and not on the fact obrien just doesnt like him lmao. incredible work. love you

hi sisko, been a hot minute.

"you begged me to stay" "i didnt beg i blackmailed you" sisko man youre the best

genuinely though like, the dead alien man that was probably less that he looked familiar and more a vague impression from the makeup, but martus and roana seem SO familiar, roana just has a vibe, its bizarre.

stepped on a ball midflight, exceptional.

i do enjoy that obrien just stomps around casually.

oh its just straight racquetball? oh so when i said it was squash i wasnt that fair off. ill be fucking damned. still space racquetball mind, also space something.

bashir looks so pissed to be swindled into this fight, like hhhhh i hate having a moral compass. i love that for him.

the running joke of people telling martus their whole life stories is genuinely quite funny.

head immediately into a tit, incredible work martus, and the wife arrives, the luck of the galaxy baby

WHO DOES ROANA REMIND ME OF. my god! fuck! like shes just so FAMILIAR. its gonna drive me nuts i have absolutely no way of figuring it out because shes predominantly a tv actress, and further that im not sure ive seen the person im thinking of in a movie or anything, just a gifset???? god. fuck man.

frame the fucking obrien/keiko scene, excellent stuff, genuinely love it, really sweet just MWAH. very nice.

bashir going ... okay so you tried to drug me, first of all, and NOW youre trying to guilt me into either doing it myself or playing like shit to fix the match. oh yea bashir. just going :) you guilted me once, quark, not a second time, that shits hot.

yeah the ep kinda bites. ohhh alsia. oh lmao.

yeah that episode wasnt good but bits were funny. shrug