#ive got every other color's paints set besides blue and green

[sunset-of-the-void]

I think today we paint emil and his beautiful green eyes to figure out what blues and greens i should keep on my main palette

[brelione]

The Surfer And The Siren

Chapter One:The Story,The Legend,The Bullshit.

@kelsiejayy designed this mood board.Lets just take a moment to appreciate how pretty it is :)

Chapter Two

It was a hot,humid day.The lack of clouds only made it worse and JJ was sure he would end up with a sunburn.Sunscreen had never really been in his top priorities and today he was beginning to regret it.The sun was high in the sky,the water unnaturally calm out in the marsh.As the boat came to a stop Kiara had let her hair out of its messy knot.She knew from experience that if she went swimming with her hair in its bun that it would get all snaggly and gross when she took it out.John B set his cold beer down,throwing his board over the side of the boat before making two awkward finger guns with his hands before jumping off the side.Kiara pulled off her light weight t shirt before jumping in as well,making a large splash in the cool blue water.JJ tossed his board before jumping in as well,coming back up to shake the hair away from his forehead.The heat against his tan skin wasnt as intense anymore and he felt comfortable enough to lay on his stomach on top of his surfboard,head down with cool water splashing onto his face every couple of moments.

Pope had done the same and John.B had decided too as well.Kiara was floating on her back,enjoying the contrast between the cool water against her back and the hot sunlight on her face and chest.It was a relaxing and calm experience until Pope spoke up. “Guys-hey,guys.There’s someone watching us.”He whispered,turning to face them and sounding a bit scared.Kiara rolled her eyes,not bothering to look at him. “Im serious,look,there’s someone right there.”He whispered,turning on his side once again so his back was facing them.John.B sat up on his board,helping Kiara to sit on it and balance out the weight,pretending to conversate so that if someone really was watching they wouldnt be suspicious.They glanced over to where Pope was looking,seeing a head bobbing in the water only fifteen or so feet away. “JJ-look.”Kiara whispered to JJ.He hadnt bothered looking up,figuring Pope was just seeing a rock or perhaps a seal.He groaned quietly,looking up so his chin was on his folded fingers.He squinted,lifting up his hand to block the sun.

 “Hello!”John.B shouted,causing Kiara to look over at him with wide eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me?”She whispered,smacking his arm.A few seconds later the silhouette raised an arm out of the water and sent an awkward wave towards the group.They waved back,confused as to where this person had come from. “Uh-are you alone out here?”John.B shouted,noticing that there were no boats or boards in the distance. “Um...Yeah,yeah,Im just out for a swim!”The figure shouted back.It was feminine and smooth with a strange accent that JJ couldnt quite put his finger on.He bit down hard on his lip,so hard that he thought blood might start to trickle.His eyebrows furrowed,squinting and trying to see her better.Her head disappeared under the water,not showing up anywhere. “What’s wrong with you guys?”Kie asked upon noticing their facial expressions.Pope’s eyes were noticeably wide as he stared down at his board,JJ’s jaw stayed dropped as he stared out to where the girl had previously been,John.B’s face was a light red as he stared down into the blue water. 

“Huh?”John.B asked,looking up at her.Kiara glazed at the two boys who had luckily snapped out of their strange trance. “That was weird,dude.”JJ laughed off his nervousness.He brought himself back to the boat,lifting himself up the ladder and pulling his board up. “Shouldnt we go and check if shes okay?”Pope asked.Kiara nodded in agreement.The three of them got onto the HMS Pogue quickly before moving slowly through the water and keeping an eye out for the girl.No floating bodies,luckily.But no sign of her at all either.When they got back to the Chateau the sun was setting and the air was becoming cooler than it was that afternoon.Pope and JJ had decided to change into normal clothes,hanging up their wet bathing suits and changing into whatever was dry and would fit properly. “We’re gonna head up to the corner store,you guys want anything?”JJ asked them. “Get some chips.”John.B told them,not looking up from his rubix cube.Pope sighed. “What kind of chips?Doritos?Lays?”He asked.John.B shrugged. 

“Ooh get skinny pop.”He requested.The two boys began their walk up the cracked cement street.The corner store had been there for so long.It was old and worn down with cracked paint but had pretty much every snack and drink that someone could want.A nice old man owned the store,he wasnt the grumpy kind of old man though.He was friendly and appeared younger than he was.The bell jingled as JJ swung open the door.Old Richard seemed on edge,staring at the door like he was waiting for Obama to walk through.The boys went straight to the chip isle as they hunted for Skinny Pop.JJ had picked out a bag of cool ranch doritos when the bell chimed. “Hi,Rich!”You spoke excitedly almost like a nine year old about to go to Disney World.JJ’s jaw clenched,fingers clenching the doritos bag while his heart beated loudly in his chest.

The voice had the same effect on Pope,eyebrows furrowed while his mind emptied of everything besides your voice.You didnt know that,though.You hadnt seen Richard since last week when he had come to visit you at your cave.He was your oldest friend.Literally.The man was almost eighty and you had been friends with him since...well pretty much forever. “Hello,Darling!Ive got two last customers for the night and then we can get going.”He informed you,a smile coming across his dark face.The sound of the mature and croaky voice broke the boys from their trance,JJ’s head immediately whopping towards the door.His knees went weak as his eyes fell on you.He had never seen someone who looked quite like you.Your hair was long,curly and blue.You were around 15 or 16,a charming grin plastered on your face.You wore tight white ripped jeans and a large balck band t shirt that was clinging to your body due to the material being wet.JJ felt nervous as he and Pope walked up to the counter.

Girls didnt usually make him feel this way.He knew pretty much every single teenage girl on the island and he knew that they all had a thing for him.He was incredibly handsome and talented and funny so he could understand. “That all for today,boys?”Richard asked as he scanned the barcodes on the items.Pope and Richard made small talk but JJ couldnt be bothered to pay attention.His eyes were darting between you and the floor boards.The parts of your eyes that shouldve been white were tinted green or perhaps it was the lighting.You werent wearing makeup or any fancy jewlery yet your blue hair was well kept almost as if you got it professionally washed,dyed and cut every week.He cleared his throat,grinning a bit. “Um...is this your granddaughter?”He asked Richard.The old man chuckled,his face wrinkling as he smiled. “Something like that.”He answered,putting the chips and candy bars into a paper bag.

A small smirk came across your face as it clicked in your mind that these had been the same boys you had seen while you were swimming in the marsh. “Uh...Are you-are you from figure eight?”He asked.You shook your head,twisting the small copper ring on your pinkie finger.Pope looked over to you,blushing and looking away.You were slightly nervous too.It had been a while since you had been around human men that werent Richard.You tried not to giggle at how easily effected they were. “So youre visiting from the main land or some place?”The blonde boy asked as he played with his bracelets. “No,no,im from around here.”You laughed quietly although the sound still bounced off the walls.He gulped,the breath catching in his throat as he heard the whimsical giggle before nodding. “Um,well,im JJ and this is Pope.”He blushed a bright red.He was nearly the same shade of red as his hat. “Cool,im (Y/N).”You introduced yourself.Your voice echoed through his ears,his pupils dilating as he looked down at you.

Pope took the bag and nudged JJ’s shoulder.They both waved to you as they walked out.Once the door was closed behind them Pope let out a loud laugh. “What was that about?”He asked his friend.JJ shrugged,flustered by the encounter.The sky was a dark blue now,sprinkled with stars.The moon was full and a cream yellow color. “Did you get a weird feeling?When you heard her voice,I mean.Like a weird stomach ache or something?”JJ asked.Pope bit the inside of his cheek,the paper bag swaying at his side. “I mean,yeah,but maybe you’re just really high or something.”He tried to make it make sense.JJ shook his head. “Im gonna go back in there.”He turned around. “You can do that but im not waiting for you!”Pope shouted to him.JJ rolled his eyes,standing right outside the door and taking in a large and nervous breath.He opened the door,the familiar jingle of the bells filling his ears.

You looked up at him from the other side of the store after hearing the sound.You were filling a paper bag with pop tarts,jolly ranchers and swedish fish.Pretty much anything that tasted good and gave you small bursts of energy.Richard was behind the counter,a variety of folded shirts and shorts being stuffed into a drawstring bag.He glanced over at you before looking back at JJ. “We’re closed for the night,JJ.”He reminded the blonde.JJ nodded. “Yeah,I know,sorry.I think i dropped my lighter here so im just gonna look for it.”He lied. “Be quick.”Richard told the young boy.JJ went to the chip isle,pretending to look. “Do you need help finding it?’You asked,now standing at the end of the isle.His breaths went shallow,ears ringing as he looked into your eyes. “Why dont you just come back and look for it tomorrow?”Richard suggested.JJ bit his lip,the ringing stopping. “Um...Oka.Ill just come back tomorrow.”He turned to leave the isle but was stopped by the sound of your voice. “Is this it?”You asked,the silver zippo lighter in your palm.

He nodded,fingers brughsing against yours as he took it from your hand.A shiver ran down his spine,a loud sound between a scream and a laugh filled his ears and mind while his vision became nothing but bright white.He couldnt feel anything around him or even his feet on the floor.It was like the feeling of jumping into water on a really hot day with music blasting from a shitty five dollar speaker.It was pleasant but also scary.When your hand fell away the feeling left with it,leaving him to just stare down at you with shock.You just grinned,knowing exactly what had happened before making your way to the back of the store to grab an energy drink.His fingers tightened around the lighter.He walked out of the store again,feeling a mix of surprise and relief when he saw Pope leaning against a tree and eating pringles.

He jogged over to the tree. “So how’d it go?”Pope wiggled his eyebrows.JJ grinned. “Uh,well...I definitely saw her.”He rubbed the back of his neck.Pope laughed in his face before they began their walk back to John.B’s. “so you have a crush on a girl you just met,that you know nothing about and that youve barely spoken to?”Pope asked as he crunched another chip between his teeth. “Well,when you put it like that it sounds stupid.”He frowned,taking the tube of chips away.Pope chuckled. “If you still remember her name next week you should ask her to hang out with us.”He suggested.JJ nodded.When they got back to the house JJ laid down in the hammock,staring up at the sky like an idiot. “So JJ met a girl today.”Pope told the group as he took a sip of pepsi.Kiara rolled her eyes. “Please do not tell me that you hooked up with a girl behind the store.”She groaned.JJ shook his head. “No,I didnt.This was different.”He rolled onto his side so he was facing the others.John.B laughed,taking a swig of gas station beer. “So whats this girls name?”He asked.JJ let out a long,breathy sigh. 

“(Y/N)...god,she is so pretty.”He whispered,almost dreamily.Kiara rolled her eyes,eating a piece of popcorn. “Theres more to girls than that,JJ.”She reminded him.He nodded. “I know,I know.She has such a nice voice and she had blue hair and she just seems so...I dont even know.”He thought out loud.Kiara snorted. “Youve got a crush.”She teased.John.Bs eyebrows furrowed,his smile turning into a confused frown. “Blue hair?Like that old legend?”He asked.Kiara grumbled something under her breath. “Please do not tell me that you still believe in that bull shit.”She tossed a sour patch kid into her mouth. “Wait,what?”JJ asked.John.B sat up straight. “You cannot be serious.”His voice went flat.JJ shrugged,lighting a blunt.Kiara threw a sour patch at Pope before eating one. “Rafe Cameron will not shut up about it.”She huffed. “What are you guys talking about?”JJ asked,becoming annoyed. “Its all bull.”Pope shook his head.

 “No,no im telling you she had to be the one that saved me when I wiped out!And that time we were on the boat and a whole ass bag of swedish fish went missing off the boat!Or today when that random girl was in the marsh?Think about it!It had to have been her!”John.B exclaimed.JJ blew out a stream of white smoke. “I still dont know what youre talking about.”He released more smoke from his lungs and out his nostrils. “Okay-so for the last hundred years a girl with blue hair has rescued like a shit ton of people and saved a ton of beached dolphins and went to the Stone Wall riots and obviously no one around here has blue hair so whenever someone with blue hair shows up its like ‘wow its her’ but like,what if its actually her?”He finished his rant. “Alright,but like,this might be a bit dramatic….but maybe she just dyed her hair.”Pope tied a gummy worm into a know. “Hair dye is fucking expensive,no pogue could afford it.What kind of fancy kook would have blue hair?”John.B defended his argument.Kiara frowned. “Youre serious right now?”She asked.He nodded.

 “And what did Rafe Cameron say?”He asked.Kiara sighed,leaning back in her chair. “He was saying how he saw her and Sarah fighting seagulls and they went away by her singing to them and then he blacked out or something dumb like that.Now he set up a camera by the beach because he’s convinced she’ll show up again.”Kiara explained,closing her eyes as she spoke.JJ smirked. “So lets steal the camera and find out.”He suggested.Kiara shook her head. “Thats a terrible plan.He probably has the live video going to his phone anyways.”She yawned.

@milamaybank @drewswannabegirl @teamnick​  @unmotivatedwritings​ @danicarosaline​

If youd like to be added to the taglist comment with a smiley face.

[onstarsandiron]

Cannon Character Descriptions

Here’s a big master post of cannon character physical descriptions, for all your related needs. Let me know if there’s anything I missed/should add!

Ana

"She had warm bronze skin and wide golden-brown eyes, full lips, and a heart-shaped face. Her hair was as dark as space itself, but it always curled into tangles. She wore it atop her head in a long braid and shaved the sides. She was moderately tall, solidly built for a life of evading death at every turn, and wore hand-me-down coats like the red one she wore now and darned trousers that never fit right. She looked like a girl from any part of the Iron Kingdom—and nowhere all at once.” (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Ana)

“Tattered burgundy coat, a Metroid at her hip, long black hair in a renegade braid, and looking like she hadn’t bathed in a week—the girl must’ve been an outlaw.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Robb)

When Ana arrives at the palace and is shown to her new quarters she has a little break down in the bathroom -- and who hasn’t had one of those? -- and shaves her hair off. In SoS, 6-months have passed since the coronation day and her hair is describe merely as “short”.

Di

As D09: “His hood was pulled low to disguise the slats and plates that made up his face, without a nose or ears or eyebrows. He was more dented than other Metals, having fallen through mine shafts on Cerces and been shot at by mercenaries on Iliad. She felt bad for a particular ding on his forehead, but she had apologized a thousand times for accidentally running him over with a skysailer.” (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Ana)

As Di/Dimitri: “Redheaded and dark-eyed, a strong jaw, and broad shoulders that filled a slightly-too-small lavender evening coat. He smiled at her—lopsided, imperfect. He looked familiar, but she couldn’t place from where. ... So close, the individual strands of his hair looked woven with sunlight, his skin pale—but not like Jax’s, more like a boy who had never seen the sun." (HoI, IV: Iron Will, Ana)

“So she memorized how the light from the windows slanted across the sharp edges of his face, the way he leaned toward her like a shield, how there were a thousand stars in his eyes, which sometimes made them shine as silver as moonlight—as they did now.” (HoI, IV: Iron Will, Ana)

Di received a cut on his cheek during Coronation Day that is held with silver stitches during SoS to prevent the cut from revealing the metal underneath. He also has a little breakdown -- as one does -- in which he busts up the skin on his knuckles, which he hides then with gloves.

Throughout SoS, Di’s hair is often remarked very specifically as “Blood red”, and he wears quite a bit of black.

Jax

"A Solani. The one from the skysailer. He must’ve been close to Robb’s age, but his silver hair made him look old—ancient—and his skin shimmered as if starlight hid just beneath. He wore a ruffly purple evening coat, golden filigree decorating the collar to match the lining, and buttons so polished they gleamed. Underneath that insufferably garish jacket was a silk shirt, stained with what Robb figured was his blood. A pair of goggles sat around his neck.” (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Robb)

Wears purple often; after the event with Koren Vey, his skin literally glows. “”It’s a long story, but yes, I’m a glowlight. It makes reading in the dark riveting.” (SoS, III: Starless, Jax) Also in SoS, Jax has to chop his own hair off during the final fight, resulting in him sporting a shoulder-length cut during Erik’s funeral; according to Robb, he looks no less dashing for it.

Robb

“He looked the most like their father, broad shouldered and stocky, with hair that curled like the lies that fell from his tongue.” (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Robb)

Like his mother and brother, Robb also has olive skin and signature Valerio-blue eyes, often compared to the Erosian sky. In HoI, Jax threatened to make a short joke (mind you, Jax is tall); in SoS, Robb notes that he was always shorter than his brother, but a recent growth spurt had now made them eye-to-eye.

In the conclusion of HoI, Di -- then HIVEd -- made his tracking chip go haywire and an impromptu amputation was needed, cutting his right arm off between his elbow and his shoulder. Robb got a cybernetic prosthetic about a month before the events of SoS.

Elara

“She was around Ana’s age -- eighteen, maybe -- with shoulder length silver hair that partially shadowed her sharp face, and wide violet eyes rimmed with kohl.  Her lips were painted black to match the rest of her wardrobe. She was short and curvy, with wide hips and thick legs that tapered into knee-high gravity boots. She was a Solani like Jax, but her skin was darker, reminding Ana of the cold deserts on Cerces. There was a wire that looped from her right ear down into her collar and disappeared. A hearing apparatus.” (SoS, I: Starship, Ana)

Xu

"Then -- like twin stars igniting -- moonlight-colored eyes flickered to life on a face made of metal slats, forming angular cheekbones and mouth and chin. There was a horrible, deep scrape across its temple that had been soldered closed. A Metal.” (SoS, I: Starship, Ana)

Malifare

“She walked with the grace of a dancer, floating without a sound. The pins in her flaxen hair matched her black dress. Floor-length, high collar, the insignia of the crown on her sleeve.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Di)

“Flaxen hair, narrow face, wearing the deep purple of a royal handmaiden." (HoI, IV: Iron Will, Di)

Siege

“The captain’s black hair framed her brown face in wild, electrifying curls, glowing with interwoven fiber optics, simmering orange like a stoked fire— Oh, Ana could tell by the color that she was mad.” (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Ana)

Siege has green eyes. When she isn’t mad her hair is typically a golden yellow, though it grows dull when she’s drained or injured, and can be blue though it happened very rarely. As a teenager -- in a very hazy recollection by Di -- she’s described as someone who never smiles.

Talle

“Talle—short and thin, with black hair in a pixie cut and hands so steady she could slit a throat clean while navigating the skyways of Nevaeh...” (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Ana)

In Jax’s flashback in Soul of Stars, Talle is described as tall with long black hair, but I’ll just assume that Talle is simply tall compared to an 8 or 9 year-old Jax. (SoS, II: Starless, Jax)

Also, her voice is often noted as sweet.

Lenda

““Seriously?” Lenda groaned, brushing back her floppy dishwater-blond hair. She was solid, with narrow brown eyes and tawny skin with rosy undertones. She displayed the scars on her arms like trophies—battles won in the fighting arenas of Iliad. Lenda was twenty and unafraid of everything— Except, maybe for Palavar.” (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Ana)

Riggs

"Riggs, fiddling with a ball bearing in his mechanical leg, grumbled a reply and heaved it off the table, setting it on the bench beside him. He’d lost his right leg to the Plague twenty years ago—cut it off himself right above the knee. He lost his family to the disease on Eros, and kept a photo of his daughter in a silver locket around his neck. Sometimes at night, Ana heard him talking to her in his dreams." (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Ana)

Wick

““No one [likes Palavar],” rumbled Wick, who had a habit of being quiet. He listened, and that made him a talented communications specialist. He absorbed languages like a sponge, so many that Ana could only hope to wrap her tongue around a quarter of them. He was Cercian by birth, the markings under his eyes so faded Ana couldn’t tell which clan he hailed from, and he never told, having left that life years ago. His skIn was a shade darker than Siege’s, with a warm hue to it—like the dawn.” (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Ana)

Barger

““Eh, don’t bother me. Three jacks,” said Barger, a stout man in his mid-twenties with a ginger mustache. His fingers were always grease stained, nails ripped short, the signs of a tireless weapons mechanic.” (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Ana)

Cynthia Valerio

“Lady Valerio looked wicked, from her bloodred lipstick to her bloodred dress, as she gave a gracious bow.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Ana)

“Tall and thin, with olive skin and graying brown hair swept into a bun, cheekbones so sharp they could cut ice. She wore a finely detailed coat and trousers, a Valerio crest pinned above her heart. She appraised the small crew with shrewd blue eyes—he knew that color. He knew it achingly well. The color of Erosian skies.” (HoI, III: Iron Blood, Jax)

Mercer Valerio

Robb is his spitting image, except that Mercer wore a thick beard.

Erik Valerio

“At nineteen, Erik Valerio was dashing, popular, and conniving in a way that granted him whatever he wanted. He looked like their mother—tall and olive skinned, a sharp face, with straight dark hair and a smile that made you want to trust him.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Robb)

“His brother stood blocking the doorway in a deep brown leather jacket with mink fur at the collar and dark trousers. His boots were well polished and decorated with the Valerio insignia—a snake eating its own tail. He filled the doorway just like he had in Robb’s nightmares, his hair short, the sides shaved with celestial designs, and he narrowed his eyes like their mother always did—disapproving, but not surprised, as if nothing Robb would ever do would be worthy of approval.” (SoS, IV: Star Crossed, Robb)

Erik and Cynthia often match, both wearing red at the celebration for Erik becoming the heir, both wearing black at the pre-coronation ball, and both -- this time including Robb -- wearing white at the coronation itself.

Nicholi

“The Emperor, clad in royal purple, had a hand on his wife’s shoulder. He looked like all the pictures she’d seen in the newsfeeds. Golden-brown eyes and rich brown skin, like the Grand Duchess, a full beard over a strong face.” (HoI, III: Iron Blood, Ana)

Selena

“Beside him, his wife, the Empress, smiled out of the portrait, brown curly hair and Valerio-blue eyes.” (HoI, III: Iron Blood, Ana)

Rhys, Wylan, and Tobias Armorov

Ana’s three older brothers are described as having dark curly hair, and the youngest, Tobias, has Valerio-blue eyes. They’re described further in short snippets Ana recalls in the palace, chasing the ghosts of their voices:

“Rhys— He let her taste the sweets from the kitchen. The scent of cinnamon. Warm brown eyes, a melting smile. He used to kiss her bruises when her middle brother, Wylan—a cocky smile and a mess of black curls—knocked her down when they pretended to be outlaws. All the horseplaying would scare her youngest brother—Tobias. Valerio blue eyes and a small smile and a love of violins and sweet candies and stories.” (HoI, IV: Iron Will, Ana)

Lord Rasovant

“An older man, graying beard braided down his chest, appeared at the far end of the hallway. Dark eyes and deep wrinkles and ghostly-pale skin. The clank of decorative medals on his breast accompanied his footsteps. He was dressed in a simple royal-purple evening coat with uneven tails, gilded buttons and filigree across the collar and sleeves.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Di)

The Grand Duchess

“Ana drank the woman in, from the delicate wrinkles across her face to her silvery-white hair pulled back into a simple bun, making her cheekbones look sharp enough to cut. Her skin was the color of soft earth and speckled with age, her hands bony knobs. She looked old, but in a terrifying and timeless way, the way mountains looked old but immovable.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Ana)

She also has “...stone-cut green eyes...” (HoI, IV: Iron Will, Robb), similar in description to Siege’s

Wynn Wysteria

Wynn has a freckled face and long, curly strawberry-red hair. (HoI, IV: Iron Will, Ana)

Viera

“She was tall, with white-blond hair and arrowhead-shaped markings under her eyes—heritage markings for certain Cercian clans.” (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Di)

Messiers

“A patrol of six Messiers appeared in the doorway. They were sharp, metallic. Made of planes and slats she knew well, because they looked like D09. Like Metals. Because once, they had been. Now HIVE’d, the Messiers’ blue eyes blazed like virtue incarnate. They moved in unison, their blue-and-black uniforms pristine, shined boots making solid thumps on the masonry floor as they marched into the shrine.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Ana)

Mokuba

“A tall, burly gentleman in a stained long coat and trousers, the seams frayed and boots greasy.” (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Ana)

Redbeard

“He had been an imposing man, as thick as two men. He had a braided red beard that reached halfway down the front of his barrel chest, and it glowed with optics the way Siege’s did, although Ana much preferred the way they looped into her curls.” (SoS, III: Starlit, Ana)

Cullen

Ana spun around to the owner of the voice, a tall androgynous person with long black hair that reached well below their waist, and warm brown skin, decked in gold jewelry and a coat the color of a nebula. They grinned at her, and the neon implants in their cheeks glowed a brilliant teal. (SoS, IV: Star Crossed, Ana)

[roseonhissleeve]

Kiwi: Part Five

A mini-series based in Jamaica during the writing/recording of Harry’s new album. Enjoy. x

Kiwi: Part One // Kiwi: Part Two // Kiwi: Part Three // Kiwi: Part Four

TW: mentions death; loss of a family member.

He woke up to the sounds of the ocean kissing the sandy shore.

He couldn’t remember what time they finally fell asleep the night before. Sleep had already started to overcome him during the last little bit of the night so he hadn’t been fully conscious, but he did remember a few things: stealing soft kisses and gentle whispers, and the sound of her laugh harmonizing with the sound of the waves. 

He’d never seen Cal that relaxed before, and it brought her to a whole new dimension that only made him fall even deeper—it was almost like she was a new person every day. Like she was constantly shifting into new versions of herself. 

He turned over in the bed to look at her—she was laying on her stomach, one of her arms resting by her head as the other remained down at her side. Her shoulders were rising and falling calmly with every breath that she took, and it was almost soothing to see her this relaxed—she had this resilient intensity about her all of the time that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, and watching her sound asleep was perhaps the only time that he saw her with her defences completely lowered.

He groaned inaudibly as he gently rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, sitting up in the bed carefully as not to wake her up. As much as he wanted to stay, he needed to get back to the studio to keep working. He slipped out of the bed and padded across the room quietly, and after some debate, he decided to leave her a note. He didn’t want her to think that he was running off, but he also didn’t want to wake her—he wrote her the note and left it on the bed beside her frame, slipping out of the little home and making his way back to the studio.

Calliope woke up hours later to the beeping of her alarm going off on her watch.

Her eyelids fluttered open drowsily with sleepiness, the kind where you’ve definitely overslept but still feel like you could sleep for days. It had been a long time since she’d had such a deep sleep. She rolled over and half-expected to feel Harry’s body next to hers—when she didn’t, the corners of her lips turned downwards upon instinct.

A small yawn escaped her lips as she sat up in bed and ran her hands through her short hair, letting her palms fall against the mattress as she looked around her little room. There was no sign that Harry had ever been there, other than the lingering warmth in her chest.

She spotted the piece of paper on the mattress and reached to grab it between her fingers, flipping it over to reveal the writing.

Had to run into the studio this morning, didn’t want to wake you. I promise I’ll see you soon. Thinking of you. H.

Cal smiled to herself as she ran the pad of her index finger across the page, tracing the small “H” at the bottom three times before folding the paper up and setting it beside her.

She’d definitely be thinking of him, too.

*

Forty minutes later she was walking into the bar—the green tank top she wore was already sticking to her back with sweat, and when she walked into the establishment there wasn’t a single person there. It was silent, other than the loud and quite obnoxious singing coming from the kitchen.  She couldn’t quite recognize it, but it was upbeat and she could imagine him dancing around in the back. It made her laugh, and she grabbed her apron off of the hook by the bar as she called out.

“Sounding good, Pipo!”

“Livin’ the dream, sunshine!” He replied, still singing.

She giggled once more and began swaying her hips a tad as she walked, enjoying the musical accompaniment that he provided. She swayed over to the phone and picked it up, pressing the key pads so she could check the messages.

There was only one.

“Hi, sweetheart. It’s mom…just calling to check in again. I haven’t heard from you in a little while…we’re starting to get worried. Your father called me the other day and asked about you as well. You should talk to him, he really misses you…I miss you too. Your brothers were wondering if you’d be home for…for Lenny’s birthday next week? Call me, please. I’m worried. I love you.”

The message was ended with a monotone beep, killing her mother’s voice the same way a flatlined hospital monitor cuts through the sad silence of a new loss.

She’d been so preoccupied that she hadn’t even realized her brother’s birthday was coming up.

She stood paralyzed, phone held up to her ear as her breathing halted in her throat. The loud beeping remained in her ear, and she was holding onto the phone so tight that her knuckles were turning white. Her other hand was clutching onto the cord attached to the phone from playing with it while listening to the message, and she was leaning against the wall. Her eyes closed.

TWO MONTHS EARLIER

”I made a bet with my nurse that I won’t make it to my birthday.”

“Lenny!” She huffed, reaching to deliver a gentle smack upside his head from her seat. He groaned over-dramatically, leaning away from her in his hospital bed. “Why the hell did you do that?!”

“We both know I won’t make it, she’s just trying to make me feel better,” he explained, and the nonchalant quality of his voice made her want to yell at him. “I figure after she loses you can pocket the money and buy yourself something nice.”

“How kind of you,” she commented, sarcasm dripping from her voice like the radiation treatment that dripped from the IV bag into his arm.

The sunlight that radiated from the window wasn’t enough to bring life to the pale green color of the hospital walls. It reminded her of puke, and all she could ever think about when she looked at the walls in here was how many people had died in the same bed her little brother was laying in. They didn’t let people bring flowers into the cancer wing, so the room was decorated with paintings of fields and daisies, as if they were the same thing.

“I mean it, you can’t be one of those people who completely lets themselves go after shit like this,” he continued. “When I peace out I want you to take that twenty bucks and buy everyone shots. Celebratory shots. ‘cause I’ll be in heaven and all that crap. Except don’t tell mom and dad, or I’ll come back and haunt you from the afterlife.

“You can’t haunt people if you’re an angel in heaven, I think that’s probably against the rules,” she replied, rolling her eyes playfully.

“Who says I’ll be in heaven?”

“You just did.”

“Oh right. Well, I’ll figure out a way somehow. If I can’t I’ll just get the Big Man to make it rain a lot, right atop of your head,” he amended.

Even though the bags under his eyes grew darker and deeper every day, there was still life in his big brown eyes. He looked skinnier and sickly, and whenever he smiled it didn’t sit quite right on his face anymore.

She felt a pang in her chest at the realization that she would never see it the way it used to be.

“Well I think that you’ll make it to your twentieth,” she forced a smile on her face, leaning forward and pressing her elbows against the mattress of his bed. “It’s only what, almost four months from now? You’ve got that in you. And we’re gonna get you some of those obnoxious gold balloons that everyone poses with on their Instagram. You know, the ones that Kelly basically dry-humped on her twenty second birthday?”

“Fuck yeah, I might as well get some action,” he nodded, causing her to giggle lightly.

And then, out of the blue, his eyes fell shut and his head fell to the side.

Her heart stopped.

The beeping of the heart monitor was loud and echoed in her ears so profusely that she lifted her hands to her head to make sure they weren’t bleeding. A swarm of nurses and doctors entered the room and began yelling over one another as her little brother began to sieze, his body rigidly shaking. At least three pairs of hands were holding him in place, the entire room becoming a symphony of chaos and panic with the melody of a shrieking heart monitor setting the pace.

Somehow among all the chaos she found herself being spoken to by one of the nurses, the one who had brought the orange jello the week before.

“Sweetheart, you need to leave the room now,” she urged, her eyes pleading her not to make everything harder than it needed to be.

She nodded slowly, feeling prickling numbness run up and down her arms as she walked out of the room. The second she left the room the door shut behind her, and she didn’t even have to turn around to know that they had shut the blinds. She could still hear the beeping through the walls.

She rested her back against the door and slid down to the ground, immediately hugging her knees to her chest. She tangled her fingers into her long locks, eyes wide and staring at the large pot of flowers that had just been delivered to one of the nurses at the desk.

Her entire body was numb at that point, and if it wasn’t for the pounding of her heart in her chest, it would have felt like the closest thing to death without actually dying.

Her little brother was three years younger than her.

She had been raised in a house of men—her older brothers loved her dearly, but it was no secret that they pushed her around. All of them were football, soccer, and hockey players, and all of them were stubborn as fuck. Having that many older brothers had its perks: no one dared to pick on her on the playground, and boys thought twice before screwing her heart over. But it always felt like they were on one team and she was the outsider, the last one picked, the one they spent time with out of pity.

Her little brother was the love of her life.

She was absolutely enthralled with him when he was born.

When she was four years old she would push him around the house in his stroller and pretend that they were grocery shopping, or maybe at the zoo.

When she was six and he was three, the two of them played together constantly—he would be her student when they played school, or the baby when they played house.

When she was nine and he was six, he would always check for monsters underneath her bed when she woke up crying in the middle of the night. If that wasn’t enough for her, he would bring in a blanket and pillow from his bedroom and lay down on the ground beside hers, keeping her company so that she could go back to sleep.

When she was twelve and decided that she wanted to be a rockstar, he would play the drums, guitar, and keyboard in their air band all while she sang her heart out on the microphone.

When she was fifteen and he was twelve, she broke one of her mother’s vases after running around in the house where she wasn’t supposed to—he took the fall for her so that she would still be allowed to go to the upcoming school dance.

When she was eighteen and brokenhearted for the first time, he hugged her and rubbed her back for exactly two hours, and never once made her feel like she needed to stop. He sang Jonas Brothers songs to her because they were her favorite at the time, and he watched endless reruns of JONAS on TV until she fell asleep on the couch. Once again, he grabbed his blanket and pillow, and he slept right there on the ground beside her.

When she got accepted to university, he was the first person she told.

When she dropped out of university, he was the first person she called.

When she was twenty two, he was diagnosed with cancer, and her entire world fell apart.

She stood up off of the hospital floor and balled her hands into fists, turning around to stare at the number that has etched onto the door of her brother’s room—number 311—and she closed her eyes, the beeping still ringing in her ears like the screams of a mother’s heartache.

She turned around, suddenly, walking across the room with her hands resting firmly at her sides. There were tears prickling in her eyes and she was drawing attention to herself, but she really didn’t give a fuck.

She grabbed onto the rim of the flower pot that had just been delivered, the tips of her fingers dipping into the soil that was decorated with white specks. There was an array of white tulips that resided in the container, taunting her.

“Excuse me, miss—”

She picked up the pot of flowers and lifted it high above her head, taking a step back onto one of her feet before shifting her weight forward. Small specks of dirt landed on her hair as she send the flower pot flying forward, watching as it shattered against the wall with a loud smash. Everyone in the hallway and waiting area immediately flinched, and she heard a few gasps—but her eyes remained glued to the pile of dirt, flowers, and clay that landed in shards on the floor.

There was a large, dark smudge that was left behind on the pastel green walls.

She glanced over at the receptionist at the desk, who was staring at her, paralyzed with both shock and a bit of fear.

In the background, she still heard the beeping of her brother’s heart monitor.

“No flowers on the cancer wing,” she announced, emotionless.

She stared at the receptionist for a hard second before turning around, taking a seat in front of her brother’s room.

For the first time in her life, she prayed.

PRESENT

Hours of loud, thumping music of the bar had settled into her eardrums as she took orders and made drinks, thankful that she had the distraction for the night. For the most part it was a pleasant night—the regulars were all nice to her as usual, and there were a few new faces who seemed overjoyed by the personality to the place.

Everyone seemed to be in a great mood, except for her.

All she could really think about was the phone call that she’d had with her mother that afternoon. She’d eventually called her back after listening to the voicemail, and she’d been quickly reminded of why she’d never done it before. They spent about thirty minutes arguing over the phone over whether or not she should come home, and what she was doing with her life. 

To her, she was taking a break to decide what she wanted.

To her mother, she was running away like a coward.

“It’s not what Lenny would have wanted,” her mother had said.

As if her mother fucking knew what her little brother would have wanted for her.

She was wiping down the bar at the end of the night, her last customer having left about ten minutes ago. The silence that had been left behind was just as deafening as the thumping music hours before. 

Her jaw clenched and fingers aching from how tightly she was holding the rag in her hand. Even thought the countertop was already clean she kept wiping away at it, trying to scrub off all the dents and scratches that would never be removed.

“What did that bar ever do to yeh?”

Cal jumped slightly, turning around to look in the direction of the familiar voice.

Harry was wearing a loose white shirt that was rolled up to his elbows, with a pair of black skinny jeans to match. He was just as handsome (if not more) as the image of him she had in her head, but she had been so preoccupied with her troubles that she’d semi-forgotten all about him.

Her first thought was to be irritated with how clothed he was when it was absolutely burning hot that night, even though it wasn’t rational for her to be. The smile that had been on his features immediately faded away when he looked at her expression, as if he could tell that everything had gone to shit within the handful of hours after he’d left her that morning.

Did he do something wrong?

“Hey, is everything okay?”

She looked into his green eyes, and suddenly, everything that she’d managed to bury under the loud music and alcoholic beverages she’d made threatened to come undone. 

And it fucking pissed her off, how she could keep it so together for hours and be threatened to fall apart simply by looking into his eyes. It made her mad that he knew that something wasn’t right just by looking at her, and it drove her absolutely nuts that all she wanted to do was have him hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

She was already too attached.

“I’m fine,” she said coldly, turning back around to grab an empty beer can and shove it in the garbage that was beside her. She grabbed the garbage bag from out of the bin and turned away from Harry, walking around the establishment and grabbing empties from the tables. Harry followed her, watching her as she shoved each one into the garbage bag with a little bit more force than the one before.

“Hey…” he said, trying to get her attention. He couldn’t tell if she couldn’t hear him or if she was just ignoring him, but he was confused and rattled and it wasn’t a good feeling. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on, Harry,” Cal huffed, stopping suddenly and grabbing onto the garbage bag tightly with both hands. 

Her back was turned to him, and he couldn’t see that she was trying to keep herself from crying.

“M’not an idiot,” he exhaled, exasperated. “I know something’s up, s’this about last night?”

“No, it’s not about last night,” she half-whimpered, stiffening. She still refused to turn around and look at him, so he walked around so that he stood in front of her. Her face looked especially vulnerable under the bright neon lights of the bar.

He grabbed ahold of the garbage bag and waited for her to let go, reluctantly, so that he could set it down on the ground. He then grabbed ahold of both of her hands, but within seconds she was pulling away.

“Stop, Harry,” she said, delivering a verbal blow. Rejection washed through him, but something told him that it wasn’t personal, not this time.

“Why are yeh doing this?” He asked, his brows furrowed. 

The confusion in his face pained her deeply, and she asked herself whether or not she would have ever agreed to spend time with him if she knew she would become this attached.

“You don’t really like me,” she said, reaching to pick up the garbage bag from the ground. “You don’t, you just think that I’m damaged, right? I’m the girl who gets into fights and jumps off of cliffs, I’m dangerous, and that’s sexy to you, right? I’m a fucking enigma and it’s your job to figure me out?”

“No, that’s not—”

“You want to talk to me, get me to spill all my secrets, get me to be vulnerable so you can get a song out of it and move on. I mean, that’s all you’re doing here, isn’t it? You’re writing your music and you’re getting the fuck out? What did you think we were going to do then?” She continued, her voice high pitched as she forced her tears to hold themselves back.

“No no no, listen, you don’t understand—”

“What don’t I understand, Harry? Tell me. Please, tell me, why you like me so much, why am I worth all of the trouble?”

As he looked at her, he finally understood that she wasn’t actually angry with him. There was something deeper, something so much deeper that he was still unaware of which drove her anger and the pain that she was feeling. 

He could see it in her eyes—where her voice projected lightning bolts of rage, her eyes whispered sonnets of sadness, as if she was pleading to be understood.

“Come with me,” he said, hesitantly holding a hand out in her direction. “I’ll show you.”

She stared at the palm of his hand and then back up into his green eyes, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat.

“Okay,” she exhaled, and for a split second maybe he was everything that she needed.

She asked herself again whether or not she would have ever introduced herself to him, if she’d known this was where she would be a few days later.

And with every part of her being, she knew the answer was yes.

Kiwi: Part Six 

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