#ive decided kokichi is the main character

[wanderingxmoth]

Unassuming and reserved, Kokichi Ouma was not the typical personality of a TV star, but he had a pretty face and interesting enough background that the producer accepted his application nonetheless. Upon realizing his more eccentric quirks, though, she drafted him a bolder role. Tsumugi Shirogane pitted him against the "heroes" in promotional material, advertising Kokichi as the season's villain.

[little-antisocial-shit]

im sure you've heard of this fanfiction im writing~

AHAHA I HAVENT WRITTEN FANFIC SINCE I WAS 13 (it was a cringe south park fic too..... ) BUT HERE I AM WITH ANOTHER CRINGE FIC THAT STEMS FROM ME NEEDING TO COPE THROUGH FICTION!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOO

what fandom is the fic you ask..? danganronpa !! i love the series and im have found myself coping through the characters! if you dont like danganronpa yet you follow me, you can block the tag! all the dangan stuff will be tagged #danganronpa naturally, so if you dont want to see it, block it! easy as that, because i like it and im going to post about it :P

this fanfiction is going to pretty much be me having headcanons for the characters and giving good representation for stigmatized disorders!

Kokichi Oma is a main character! i hc him to have NPD and ive been researching NPD so i can give pwNPD some good rep! (i love kokichi so much give him all the love)

this is a saiouma fic! (shuichi x kokichi) and its called Divine Despair

This fic is actively being worked on! it will be posted on toyhou.se and ao3. I think it might be posted in.... at most a year maybe? no guarantees tho.

This fic is 17+ BUT i would prefer if anyone consuming it was 18+

it is mature! (i say 17+ bc the game is 17+, however there may be implied nsfw or written. idk yet lol. if i decide to actually write nsfw it WILL be 18+)

feel free to ask questions about the fic or give tips for any disorders/conditions !!

(note ik dangan can like. write disorders wrong looks at toko... so im going to fix all of that :3 .. except toko. toko will not have DID in my fic lol)

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

Alternative Chapters 3 & 4 of v3

Cute idea for how to promote a friend's AU: airing how I made them cry with my suggestions when they asked for ideas

Read Vespertin-y's Clockwise talent swap AU https://vespertin-y.tumblr.com/post/721299444787740672/clockwise-talentswap-lore-pt-1

Ves: ack. what do i dooooo for the ch3 motive i cant just use the necronomicon again can i

that depends, who do you want to act on a motive?

Sini: Kirumi or Gonta would probably make good chapter 3 culprits in my opinion

Ves: kirumi is the ch1 killer. gonta...oooh i haven't decided how to handle the survivor/adventurer thing with him yet. maybe survivor but it's for surviving the wilderness instead of dr??? ough i ought to get rid of himiko at some point for tenko angst purposes

Himiko could be the collateral second kill of ch3

Ves: yeah…maybe she just walked in on body hiding shenanigans? ohhhh tenko would be SO mad YOU KILL HER ALMOST-GIRLFRIEND AND NOT EVEN FOR A GOOD REASON THE AUDACITY

just what I had in mind

Sini: That cute moment between her and Gonta at the end of chapter 3? Yeah, forget that here

Ves: i think that i will let artist kiyo throttle anthropologist mugi with a garotte wire. as a treat. revenge for a past life i quite LIKE anthropologist mugi but what can ya do

Sini: Keep it to two victims and two culprits >: )

Ves: wouldn't gonta be SO fun as a survived killer though…hmm i am going to make all of kokichi's favorite people into murderers and bully him into not viewing the world so black and white

Sini: Your bestie is a murderer? Well, he’s still alive. What you gonna do about that? What do you think of that, huh?

Ves: your bestie is a murderer so is ur boyfriend HITS U WITH NUANCE STICK

okay, so Kiyo kills Tsumugi, perhaps frames Himiko like he tried to in canon, and Gonta accidentally kills her in a confrontation?

either early in the investigation, or Himiko first found the body and was seen running away by Gonta (aka Hyioko being the main suspect in ch2 of sdr2 type beat)

Gonta doesn't mean to hurt anyone, but. He's stronger than he thinks and Himiko was freaking out since to her, he might as well have been the killer, she hasn't seen anyone else out and about either so she'd try to get away from him

so it'd be just like knocking out Shuichi in canon, except, well.

Ves: that's so SAD fuckkk gonta :((((( tenko would lose. her. mind.

still rotating the possibilities of what Kiyo's in-game motive could be, I want to say that it's still a crime of passion, Tsumugi does piss him off with something

Ves: making him lose control of his own strength like that is the meanest thing ive ever heard. i might change it to him accidentally chasing himiko somewhere dangerous bc that's SO sad ACK I ALREADY DID THE ACCIDENTAL TRIPPING MURDER IN CH2 THOUGH WAILS yeag i haven't quite figured kiyo out yet… i think strangulation works better with a premeditated crime, what with him coming up behind her…but the clay cutting wire WAS just sitting around in his lab. hrm. mb she angie's herself by coming across him plotting a crime, that seems like the easiest option and i do want moogi to be an observer-type character, always watching in the background

maybe she gets too nosy not really on accident, too much accidents around here she ends up knowing too much not a plan, but a secret, a motive to get out, personal, and she wants the tea, it's scorching hot, you're going to burn yourself, Tsumugi

snhdfghf yeah…got too silly [pensive emoji] she just wanted to knowwww she's a little Too fascinated by people and with someone with as many secrets as korekiyo that is Not a friendly trait oh maybe that's the motive!! secrets, like in thh ch2

Ch4

so the deaths are ch1: Maki, Kirumi ch2: Ryoma, Miu ch3: Tsumugi, Korekiyo, Himiko ch4:??? ch5: Angie, Shuichi ch6: Kaito plot armour: Kiibo, Tenko, Kokichi

Kaede and Rantaro, is it fate? the only other option is Gonta

Ves: AH FUCK HOW DID I DO THAT BY ACCIDENT

congratulations

I mean, you could Sakura Gonta since he's definitely not doing fine

but Kaede doing nothing for the whole game is a little ooc, girlie takes the matters in her own hands

boy's not coping after ch3 either way

Ves: i was looking through my past randomizers and found a ch5 where kaede kills himiko after being tricked into thinking she's the mastermind…i could move that up to ch4. but why himiko..

Himiko's dead already tho

Ves: idk i haven't committed to that yet,,tricking kaede into thinking rantarou is the mastermind feels. cliche

what if she thinks Gonta is the mastermind since he got away with murder

Ves: what kind of fucking machine would bbygirl have to build to take out GONTA poisonous insects???

she's just setting up a trap still, a wrong person could walk in it, she sets it up at Gonta's lab but Rantaro walks in for something

Ves: NOT AGAIN [sob emoji] THAT'S SO FUNNY ACTUALLY SHSL UNLUCKY RANTAROU REAL

yes, she releases something venomous in his lab, little buggie just wanders off

or it does get Gonta, cause. He would be so devastated when he finds out that he was the one supposed to die. Literally so much worse for him than dying

Ves: HOW DID THIS WHOLE THING TURN INTO GONTA BULLYING I CAN'T HAVE HIM ACCIDENTALLY KILL SOMEONE AND HAVE SOMEONE ELSE DIE IN HIS PLACE THAT'S OBSCENE my poor son [sob emoji]

back to Sakura arc, he finds out about the attempt without anybody getting hurt

Ves: i'll figure it out in the shower probably update: i took a shower and didn't figure it out [pensive emoji]

Sini: Maybe keep the idea of Gonta killing Himiko and Kaede killing Gonta, and then have Rantaro die because he broke the rules in some way? You could pull a Mukuro on him

I got another idea too, what if Rantaro kills Kaede if you were to use the card key motive again, what if he gets ahold of it, frustrated just like others with Angie insisting they just don't use it and stay there forever when it could be an exit or used to reveal mastermind's identity, so he steals it from her and finds out about the end of the world, so he snaps, "we should have died with everyone" kind of thing, Kaede is the easiest target to start with (if Himiko is already out) since she's weaker than him and trusting (unlike Ouma)

Sini: What if….You mixed the two? Like, Kaede is the one in Rantaro’s place, whose character throughout the game has been kind of regressing as time has gone on. Growing more pessimistic and untrusting. She would also be eager to know if the key could reveal the mastermind’s identity in any way, since she’s been looking for them since day one and growing more paranoid and bitter about it. Once the key card motive is revealed, she steals it from Angie and parallels Gonta in that she believes the others should all die. She could still kill Gonta because she finds him suspicious, and if he’s not, then he’s actually a pretty easy target to lure. She also might want to kill him because she believes it’s what he deserves after what he did (in that case, the character regression would be very real). Or, she could go full Gonta, and believe killing Gonta is best because he was the nicest of the group and has already gone through sm pain that he deserves to die first/not through execution. I feel like Kaede would definitely be the type to take the burden of living if she had to

having more time in the game Kaede's whole preaching cooperation and trust would slowly crumble away, seeing how in canon she was trying to reassure herself as much as the others at the start and failed to, coming to conclusion that she needs to do something herself, that Shuichi's plan is not enough, that she's not going to hope Kaito's group comes up with something. Here she had time to simmer in it and get so much worse

and I'd love to see that, let her run out of positive things to say, hang outs to distract herself with, mantras to fall asleep to and hopes that all of that was a bad dream. She can't keep waiting for something to happen and then the next thing that happens is another murder instead of the awaited rescue, to get out she is going to make it happen

guess, she was wrong when she got there, maybe you can't trust people, maybe they're all out for blood, maybe somebody else is already planning her demise

Sini: Yeah…. And there’s no point. The world is destroyed There’s no home to go back to She might as well take a chance at killing the one person she can suspect as the mastermind

she regressed so far that she reached the pg Kaede mindset, no faith in humanity, they're all capable of murder, perhaps they're there because they deserve it

Sini: YES! If even Gonta can kill…Nobody is safe. Nobody can be trusted She kills him with the poisonous bug, but the others wouldn’t know that until ways into the trial. They might think it’s classic poison. Calling back to canon chapter 4 with the poison left on the seat. Both are diversions

if they all die, then there will be no more humanity, no more cruelty, betrayal after betrayal, it'll be over

Kaede humming "no children" by mountain goats while picking out a poison to plant on the crime scene

Sini: Imagine for a moment Kaito is framed, again? Cause he’s the ultimate detective, the poison might’ve came from his lab

Sini: Also, this would hurt Kokichi sm. He’s already been questioning himself with the reveal of Gonta being the second culprit. He’s alive and he doesn’t know if he can even look at him anymore… His feelings on the matter conflicting with one another. And then to later find that he’s dead? O O F

framing Kaito is a good idea, but also what if she staged it as a suicide, really take Kokichi out of investigation with a gut punch imagine he said some shit to Gonta after the 3rd trial he'd blame himself

Sini: So I was thinking with this that maybe Rantaro doesn’t vote for Kaede in chapter 4 because if the world is really destroyed, then his sisters (if still lost in this au) are most certainly dead. However, I don’t think he would do that unless he was 100% certain that the world was destroyed. He’d have to see it for himself to truly believe, as he has his doubts on the legitimacy of all this. So what if in chapter 5, if they all see the outside world and later become depressed, TW Rantaro actually commits to killing himself? He’d do it in front of everyone so that there is no case to solve. The guilt and grief he’d feel….He’d see no point in living anymore. He might even feel guilty for not being able to be useful in preventing the murders or doing more to uncover the truth. He’d consider himself a failure in every way. Maybe he does so through breaking another rule? Again, typical Mukuro, but just done on purpose

no 4th survivor, huh

Ves, reading up after leaving for a bit:

well first of all i think im never leaving you to babysit an au again. second of all AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA kaedeee :((( also rantarou :((((( also gonta :((((((- you did not leave anyone untouched huh

Sini: HEY! IT’S UP TO YOU! Rantaro doesn’t have to die, that’s just if you want to keep the survivor count the same as in canon

Ves: i think im gonna up the survivor count…maybe by making ch3 a single murder? nnnn. kaede killing gonta is sounding real good though Sini: She could still do so, just maybe it’s as simple as Gonta is an easy target and he’s the nicest so he should be spared an awful death

Ves: NSHJDBGHSGDD….she said fuck ALL YALL except for you gonta you're an angel and we're all glad you're here- i think abt the gonta&himiko scene where he asks how he can help and she tells him he radiates so much mana he can just stand there and it'll help her simply Having A Gonta Around does wonders for magic

Sini: IT DOES But man, that just reminds me how sad Gonta killing Himiko is If you make it where just Korekiyo is the culprit, maybe have him kill Himiko instead. That way we can have the Tenmiko angst, just reverse. Also, we’d get Tsumugi as a survivor, which I think has potential. Let Tsumugi have a character arc!

that would made ch4 weaker, but ig that would mean Himiko getting Angie'd since he only had a motive to kill Tsumugi?

Ves: i think maybe. do something to make gonta think of it as his fault even if he didn't directly off someone

but think about Kokichi's character arc

Ves: AH FUCK I FOROT ABT THAT maybe he kills kiyo???? no execution on a technicality bc kiyo killed first,,

then he'd get executed cause monokuma wouldn't have anyone else to execute? Like Celeste?

Ves: there wasn't the first come first serve rule in that game though "Rule #15: If two different murders by different murderers occur at the same time, only the one whose victim was found first will be the blackened." do i have to HIDE kiyo then?? what vague wording

and in ndrv3, Monokuma only introduced the rule in ch3, knowing what happened to sow distrust but Gonta wouldn't want to get away with murder, so he wouldn't hide the body

Ves: but i also wanted to have more survivors :[

Sini: Mind you, Kokichi can still have that moment to himself cause Shuichi exists. But Gonta being a killer could do wonders for his character as well. If you have it where Kiyo kills Himiko and Gonta kills Kiyo, then it’s very likely Gonta could still get executed cause he’s the only culprit left alive.

then stick the the og idea, you can save Rantaro instead of Tsumugi

Ves: so like. himiko runs away from the crime scene, gonta tries to catch her, breaks her spine like a rabbit at the vet?

nothing's going to have the same impact, this is good because it's Gonta and she isn't even the culprit and he doesn't get executed

this is what hits the spot for character arcs for Tenko, Kokichi and Kaede (her last fucking nail) and anything else would be softening the blow, that's no what DR is about, hit them with the hammers

Ves: you're right and i hate it ○|￣|_ kokichi doesn't make up with gonta bc of his own pride and then gonta FUCKING DIES, and that feeds nicely into his forgiveness for shuuichi…i see the vision

(edited by Ves)

and to finish it off, my take on the Themes in the AU:

what an interesting theme for the entire season it paints, the power struggle, having people who try to define and control you, use you for entertainment vs the abused, overcoming, getting from under the shoe SWINGING, finding ways to be their own person. Tenko's crisis would fit in nicely, and have parallels with Kaede's arc downwards. They both start as leader types that might come over a little bit too strong, Tenko loses faith in herself, Kaede loses faith in people, Tenko gives up on leading and falls in step with others, Kaede gives up on others and starts acting on her own, behind their backs. Kaede wants to make the decision for everyone that life's no longer worth it. Angie wants to decide what's best for everyone. Kaito wants to decide their lives, treating them like puppets. But their lives are their own. And true leadership is guidance, not force. Shuichi is the tragic example, showing how important having community is to be able to stand a chance against abusive authority. well, for M1-U it might be more dying on her own terms at best, would be cool if she self-destructed after getting hauled-off to the execution of found a way to make the execution go differently than Monokuma intended

Sini: Shuichi had access to community but couldn't truly be a part of it due to how Kaito controlled him. You could maybe contrast that with Kokichi who goes through a positive arc of letting people in and teaming up with others more. Him representing what a good leader could look like

it was too little, too late for Shuichi

Sini: OOOOO! YEAH! That's perfect! She died doing her own thing and by her own hands OH SHIT! That's actually really poetic. Cause in canon, Kaito is the one who died on his own and not by Monokuma's hands. Now he's the villain who got beat by his own alternative actions

Ves: haha loser get thematically reversed

[okthatsgreat]

20, 22, 29, 40, 56, and 75-77 for ODIETLG specifically

Picking your brain is one of my favourite Tumblr hobbies

ITS GREAT THATS ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES BC IM A BIG FAN OF TALKING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

20. have you noticed any patterns in your fics? words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc? UMMMM call me the forgetter the way i forget..... there are definitely words/expressions that show up a lot definitely. im sure if i looked hard enough id be able to see them GHFDJGSDFKG aaaaaannnnd as for themes i noticed ive been writing a lot on trauma and some of the uglier side effects of it ESPECIALLY when put in a situation that does not encourage healing or anything like that other than that I AM REALLY BLANKING THERE ARE DEFINITELY SO MANY MORE COMPARISONS TO BE DRAWN LMFAOOOO

22. are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc) hmmmmm i do a LOT of genfics and im not that much of a purely romantic type of guy yknow..... i dont see myself doing anything like that in the future i reckon! unless its a gift or something :). in the same vein i dont think ill be posting smut on my main ao3 either just bc i feel like itd really come out of left field ghfjkdgshdjkfgh.

29. what’s your revision or editing process like? i stare at it. hope google docs caught any spelling errors. convert it into ao3. hope ao3 caught any spelling errors. send it out. wake up the next morning and grimace so hard

40. if someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see? IF ANYBODY MAKES FANART OF MY WORK I CRY IMMEDIATELY YOU HAVE NO IDEAAA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME SERIOUSLY. ohhhh there are a lot of big scenes in fics ooooo............. if youre looking for a dramatic piece of fanart then the miu+kokichi confrontation in lgowab is a good one. the sonia+akane conversation in opddmh could be cute........... like them on the floor looking up yknow. like a little comic. i can see it in my brain. and oooo a lot of interactions from that second last chapter of odietlg when the whole place is falling apart ................................

56. what’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on? BWAH uhm the characterisation :) i try to keep them in character but also make them feel a little more real if that makes senseee

75. what scene in odietlg took the longest to write? what was difficult about it?  ooo its been a while hm. odietlg was during a time i had a LOTT of time on my hands so i was whipping through chapters so fast it was crazy. um. maybe the finale???? just because it was a lot longer than most chapters and i kept going back to flip a few things around and all of that :))

76. did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of odietlg?  I DONT HAVE A DISCORD CHANNEL FOR THIS ONE SO THERE ISNT A LOT OF EVIDENCCEEEEEE let me think let me think. because this story was more interactive there were a few scenes that didnt make the cut solely because it wasnt voted for!!!!! i know there were MULTIPLE executions that were avoided during that miu gonta trial. there were a few more scenes including a tsumugi conversation that got cut in favour of the tenko/himiko chat in the bunker. ummmmmm unrelated to any sort of poll im really unsure!!! odietlg had a lot less planning which means a lot of initial ideas made the final cut!! i think tenko nearly started hearing other "voices" other than angie but i decided against that just bc it was never supposed to be supernatural or anything

77. do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from odietlg story/chapter?  OOOO THERE ARE A FEW SCENES I ENJOYED WRITING i think one of my favorites has to be the final 3am encounter with shuichi and tenko. it really just felt like all of those conversations were building up to this last one and i loved writing the setting and loved writing their interaction bc it just felt like a great culmination of their character development up until that point but ESPECIALLY tenkos :)

ASK GAME!!!

[clippedwingsmuses]

ooc: new ooc icons are still a wip but!! i thought i'd go ahead and show what i've got cooked up so far! i think i'm going to use these as the basis for all of my icons on this blog, cause i'm kinda attached to the design to be honest, but i'm considering making the main square a little bit smaller so i might have to widen the icon itself (theyre supposed to be 50x50 but tumblr is making them bigger even tho ive got icons with the same dimensions...........)

i've done a lot of rambling for this post, so i'm going to be putting all of the extra info i have typed out under the cut! (extra info includes some fun facts about these icons, new muses i'm bringing to the blog, the status of my icon making, etc.)

first off, yes i'm using song lyrics for these icons; i'm gonna try to make the icons have song lyrics from their theme songs that i picked out (which includes my icons, the lyrics are from nothing by catie turner bc its a song that i resonate with a lot)

and yes im also using pride flags for these icons!! the amount of pride flags may fluctuate based on my character headcanons, so the amount will vary between just 2 and all 4 of them; the flags in my icon in particular, in order (top to bottom), are transmasc, boyflux, uranic, and the 2019 polyamorous flag

anyways, i'm going to work on the rest of my ooc icons tomorrow! i will also get to work on editing all of my character icons...... it's going to be a hellish process (primarily because surge and twilight have well over 150 icons i'll have to re-edit) but that's the joy of running a multimuse is icon making lol, and i kind of miss doing it

my main 4 characters (kieran, kitsunami, wanderer, & kokichi) will have their icons done first since they are priority characters. i will slowly work on everyone else's icons as i go. all of my muses will still be available! they will just be iconless for the time being

i'll be using a mix of my old icons and new icons until all of the new icons are done (old icons will be used if that character's new icons aren't done yet) and all of my new muses will get the new icon style right away!

with that being said, i want to announce the new muses here since i haven't made a proper post about it (or i deleted it lol); the brand new muses i am bringing to this blog include rose quartz (and pink diamond), lapis lazuli, boyfriend, and kinitoPET!

additionally, i have taken a look at my considerations list and i have decided that i will officially be bringing puss in boots, discord, and bonnie to the blog! the newest muse up for me to consider is amethyst, so she has been added to the list in replacement of the others that i'm officially taking on or removing

speaking of removals, i've decided to remove mordecai and mystery from my considerations entirely, as i cannot effectively play them until i fully invest myself in learning their lore in its entirety (i was planning to play them primarily based on just the lackadaisy pilot and the msa episodes, but that's not the best course of action i can take right now)

so yeah, i think i'm finally done rambling now! with all that being said, i am 100% going to be active tomorrow! as always, every meme in my memes tag is open to be sent to the askbox, and i'll work on responding to roleplays or sending out unprompted/meme things inbetween my icon making (based on whoever is active), so i'll see you guys tomorrow! (after i finish my daily artfight attack ofc lol)

[visceral-viscera]

hey guys. stayed up until. 5 am last night finishin dr v3. im irreversibly changed i think. i have to think about it and let it settle in me but i think i actually liked the ending unlike most people. just wish dear kokichi was there.

ive decided against playing UDG so. this was my last game!!! im probably going to watch the hope and despair anime arcs at some point but. no more stayin up till 5 am pff.

overall thoughts: sometimes these games made me want to personally kill the writers themselves, but when they are good. oh my god are they good. i get it. i get why it exploded now.

im gonna make a character tier lost and otherwise engage in the fandom after this probably, so if you don't want to see that i'll be taking all the future posts much better for filtering (just didnt really want these in the main tags if i could avoid it hah)

[solmxri]

cherry, apricot & lime c:

⋆｡°✩ ━━━ colourful interview

first off - fuck you. second off - you're lucky i love you and still decided to do it!

what is one thing you love about yourself?

As depressing as it sounds, not really? I find everything i do pretty meh but if I had to pick, maybe my creativity? Even tho I feel like I create too many things to keep up witth hbgfdsw

what do you think your life will be like in ten years?

in a ditch somewhere IM KIDDING Uhm.... Hopefully moved out and finally living my life without the fear of rejection and homelessness if my family found out that not only i am a gay but also planning on transitioning

describe yourself as a character / mix of characters you've always related to the most.

putting a read more here because it gets sad and long

*opens character list* *coughs*

Kokichi Ouma - LIKE I KNOW THE ISSUE WITH THIS ONE! but i related to really hard to him, espeically with the lying thing. Where people would listen/pay attention to you when you make up elborate stories but once you trying to say something truthful and heartfelt you are ignored, dismissed or get told that your issues isn't as important as theirs.

I've learnt not to spread white lies about themselves because that doesn't help me one bit and would actually make my depression and mental state worse because i could only dream to do the shit i would say i did.

Izaya Orihara - kind of in the same boat as Kokichi but this is a character i've always seen myself in since day one. I've always had an obsession with Izaya since the the anime first came out which then lead me to reading the manga & novel and soon writing him as a muse my early teens. I never understood why until like a couple of years ago where i finally was a better mindset to see why i was so drawn to him as both a character and a muse - loneliness.

I've always made friend after friend both in real and online but i never felt close to any of them because i always kept everyone at arm's length due to the fear of being hurt or betrayed which resulted in me always feeling alone.

Sonic The Hedgehog - this is a bit of a weird one but??? i love sonic. like on an obsessive level of love. i've always love this view on life of facing life foward regardless how tough it gets and mowing down whatever gets in myway. he's the exact type of character i needed in my childhood and still is even as an adult.

my motto in life changed from 'just survive until i drop' to 'TAKE LIFE BY THE BALLS AND MAKE IT YOUR BITCH!' and it has helped a lot. i fall back a lot on revisiting old sonic ocs ive made in my childhood as comfort as well as rereading the lil comics i would make for them. some of becoming main stays in my muse filled brain that i always think of when i need a bit of confidence.

[chihirolovebot]

Okay okay, I’ve been reading Sleep Awake since about November now, and I am IN LOVE WITH IT. The characters are so accurate, and I feel like I love several characters more than I used to. You just made them so likable and even gave them well deserved attention! (Especially Rantaro). I also love how you include the reader and have things change because of them, so it’s not like they’re just there observing. Anyways, sorry, it’s just so amazing. TO THE POINT. Ive been wondering this for a while, why did you start writing it, and did you have any clue what you wanted to happen later in the story at the beginning? I’m not sure if you answered this, but I’m just super curious. Please take your time to answer this, and take care of yourself! (Help why was this so long I’m so sorry🧍)

sleep awake spoilers, drv3 spoilers

oh my gos no this is lovely!!! i rly do love receiving long messages like these they make my day!! i’m so glad ur enjoying sleep awake beloved :’)

as for why i decided to write it. genuinely the brainrot was just too strong. i had this idea of a reader insert participating in chapter 3 as a fix-it, because ch3 is my least favourite in the game and i was disappointed in the wasted potential of not having two killers. and i wanted a reader insert because that’s how my hyperfixations kind of manifest, it’s my main form of enjoyment when i begin to hyperfixate on something and consume content.

so there’s that. as for the other question. kind of? as i said, the whole story was borne out of getting to chapter 3 and messing stuff up. so i had in my head like major plot points, like the reader being accused of rantaro’s murder, kirumi betraying the reader, several kokichi scenes, and reader killing kiyo. but all the connecting tissue was made up as i went along. the relationships reader has w the other students were almost entirely unplanned - i knew i wanted them to be close to rantaro and for the locker trio to remain a close thing throughout, but i genuinely didn’t plan on making the reader so close w characters like tenko, kirumi and more recently maki. that just kind of transpired as the text went along and i’m pretty happy with it. in fact, i kind of wish i’d spent more time on the readers relationships with like, tsumugi and miu and himiko but, i guess they can’t be friends with everyone.

i also had a little list i wrote near the beginning of the story, maybe like two chapters in, of scenes i wanted to write at some point. most of them have occurred as of now, but it’s fun to look back and see how some of the original vision has changed.

so, most of these have happened. flower crowns w gonta, the second one in the second interlude after the third trial, the third, fourth and fifth. the partially degraded danganronpa on readers collar was changed to ‘memory’ on their arm because i didn’t want them to use the memory flashback lights and at the end of the day i thought them having the word danganronpa on them wouldn’t effect the story, since obviously they wouldn’t remember what it was. the next three didn’t happen - the writing things on their skin was just a quirk i have that never made it in, the whiteboard thing just never made it in, same with the next one. anyway, just thought it was neat.

thank u for this question!! i had a lot of fun answering it, i love to ramble abt my little fic. thank u for sticking with it for so long!! i’ll see u with the update on the 25th (the one year anniversary!!!)

[sillyguyhotline]

i hate when people compare shin tsukimi to kokichi ouma/nagito komaeda and here’s why

hi first off spoilers for yttd up to chapter 2-2 and for chapter 5 of sdr2 and ndrv3

hi, this is a little disorganized because it was one of my first analysis posts on here lmao. it’s in lapslock and kinda rushed because i wrote this rant to my friends and then decided to post it here!!

ok so!! first of all, sou has very distinct and established reasons for why he acts the way he does: the survival rates. the game shows us that, prior to the death game, sou (shin tsukimi) was very pleasant, even compassionate, and was generally a good dude.

 but the identity he adopted for himself, sou hiyori, the one who trusts nobody and lies to everyone and is a pretty huge dick, is a direct consequence of miley telling him he had no chance at survival. the antagonist characters in danganronpa are just...like that. yeah, they probably have their reasons (we know that nagito lost his parents and has a very weird relationship with luck, and we can infer that kokichi doesnt have parents and probably hasnt for a decent amount of time) but they were turned into their more manipulative selves over time, and that's who they are, whereas "sou hiyori" is more of a mask or an alternate identity than anything

secondly, i know a lot of people lump him in with the dr antags bc they consider him an "antagonist" character, but honestly?? he's really not. (either way, the term antag doesnt really fit kokichi or nagito cuz junko is the antag, they're still technically on our side and id consider them antiheroes). but,,,sou honestly doesnt do the things kokichi and nagito do. those two fuck with you in the trials and then they both have chapter 5, where they stage a murder that is directly intended to confuse either you or the mastermind. 

but sou doesn't do any of that shit! yeah, he declares himself as the keymaster and lies about that kind of stuff, but it's not intended to directly oppose you, he's just trying to survive. it just so happens that sara is the keymaster in the first main game, so sara is the one who has to expose his lies. he's a liar, but especially in the first main game (not as much in the second but i'll get to that later) he's more concerned with his survival than anything. both kokichi and nagito, however, have other goals (expose the traitor from the future foundation and get them out alive/end the killing game) and even when they arent executing those goals they go out of their way to oppose the protag.

thirdly, sou embodies his own, very distinct themes. he's still a foil to sara, as the antags are with the dr protags, but in quite a different way. (oh also ive seen some people point out that sou is also a foil to keiji). kokichi, most distinctly, embodies the theme of truth vs. lies; he's a liar and his entire personality is developed out of him constantly lying to everyone including himself, while shuichi, the protag, struggles throughout the game with the burden of exposing the truth of the murders. 

a lot of people look at sou and immediately think that the main point of his character is his lies (which is fair, as he lies to both sara and himself, similar to kokichi) but it's not- it's his inability to trust anyone. you'd think that him hiding his true personality and fabricating the "sou hiyori" personality would demonstrate that he is, at his core, a liar, but "sou hiyori," especially in comparison to the "shin tsukimi" he once was, is characterized by how little he trusts everyone. this is how he is different from sara, and why he envies her: sara has managed to gain the trust of the entire group, despite being nothing but a high school girl, and is able to utilize this to her advantage (hence why he breaks down in the first main game; he has already separated himself from the group for his own survival, but panics upon seeing everyone choosing to believe sara instead of him). his separation from the rest of the group and the way he loathes sara for the trust she's gained is what's at the core of his character, not his lies. his lies only aid his lack of trust for everyone else. 

also, another thing that separates sou from the other antags is something i outlined earlier: when they die, it is to serve a purpose greater than them. when sou dies, it is to save kanna. he's always been identifiable due to his desire to survive. this is why he becomes sou hiyori, this is why he is unable to trust anyone, this is why we view him as an "antagonist," because we as the player, usually, automatically want as many people as possible to make it out alive. but he forms such a bond with kanna, despite pushing aside everyone else, that he is willing to lose his life, which he's fought so hard to protect, in order to save her. this is also representative of how much more yttd focuses on its characters; nagito and kokichi refuse to die unless it ends the killing game because that is danganronpa's endgame and it's the only reliable point of dr's admittedly shoddy plot. yttd, however, focuses on how the characters grow as people and how relationships between individuals develop, which is why sou's character is so heavily dependent on kanna. he either dies for her or identifies himself as a true threat in order to avenge her, which makes him much more compelling.

sou may be a liar, but he's much more of a human than the danganronpa antags, he presents much less of a threat to the character, and he's able to actually develop bonds with kanna. 

i also find it pretty interesting how both nagito and kokichi's relationships with the protag reflect the main themes of their respective games (hope vs despair, truth vs lies) whereas sou's relationship with sara revolves around trust as opposed to the game's overarching theme of logic vs emotion (which he also helps to embody, but through his actions, not his relationship with sara).

this was very long and probably didnt convey my thoughts as well as it could have but in essence sou and the dr antags are very very different from each other, in both character and their role in the game, and when people compare them it feels like they're looking at a sou that they want to see rather than the sou who actually exists.

as an afterthought i find it sort of ironic that most of the humanization and development of the danganronpa characters occurs in fan circles, whereas sou is already developed and humanized by yttd to the extent that fans instead have to boil him down to danganronpa stereotypes.

if you made it this far, tysm!! this was kinda rushed so if there are any flaws in what i said please lmk and i’d like to hear if anyone else has any other thoughts on this topic!!

[rxll-the-dxce]

Some things

I've decided I'm keeping my blog. I came close to wanting to just delete it but for the moment it's staying. Ive had some chats with friends that have helped immensely with my confidence in my OCs and my writing that I genuinely appreciate.

I'm taking a harder stance on Kokichi. He's a highly selective muse (not just because my ability to write him comes and goes like the tide) to avoid people who follow me just to interact with Kokichi and not my OCs. This blog does not have a main muse and all muses are treated equally here. Furthermore, Kokichi does not have a special place just because he is from canon material. If you are following and won't give my OCs a chance I will not rp Kokichi with you.

Similarly, I'm taking a harder stance on OC hate. Following how much the DR fandom has made me feel unwelcome because I predominantly write OCs, if your rules state that you are unaccepting of OCs or that you wont write with OCs unless they have X or Y etc. I will softblock. I don't want to see anti-OC people and I don't want to hear your excuses. My OCs have taken MONTHS of planning and development and each of the bios has taken 8-10 hours of work. There's a LOT of detail in them.

I'm sorry to have to get so harsh, but I've been feeling really depressed and unwanted in the fandom, and I need to start taking steps to preserve what remains of my mental health. Rp is about fun and seeing people who hate on OCs, despite all characters in canon being someone's OC, really drag me down.

If you're ever worried or dont understand/don't know something about my muses you can always ask, i welcome it. I really do. People will tell you I will take any excuse to talk about them and that really is true, im more than happy to explain things and chat them out. Sometimes it helps me with character development too.

I'm not going to be hostile to any DR blog. If you want to interact with me, i'd love that. I really would. I'm just feeling very VERY done with how cliquey and anti-oc its feeling lately.