#ive been working through the eps i missed from the last few years (ive hit early 2020 eps at 163) and idk i just like the everything!

[devilswalkingstick]

y'know it's really fun to hear cecils opinion of steve shift over the course of the podcast. cecil angrily seething "steve carlsberg" through gritted teeth brings me just as much joy as him defending steve bc he's an amazing brother-in-law and a wonderful father to cecils beloved niece.

[misterbitches]

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas. 

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL. 

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t 

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers! 

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die. 

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts  more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more.  i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done) 

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom. 

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through. 

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao.  basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman.  anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord. 

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop. 

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t.  beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when  i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are. 

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of  bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid. 

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc. 

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me) 

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao 

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and  i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex) 

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

[thegirlwholied]

SW anon - So I have tried to watch the whole thing before but I could never really get past the start. I watched ep IV a few years back (and in 2018 I watched it while it playing with a live orchestra which really enhanced the experience) and ofc I’ve known most of what happens bc my mom and brother have been fans of it (and ofc all the references to it in shows and it being everywhere) but the thing about the original trilogy that I found difficult to watch was very much the acting being off

Gov SW anon continued - but I think I’m gonna watch the clone wars show next as I feel like the general universe and people speak to me more than the skywalker and co. story speaks to me. But I’ll probably try and get back to the prequels afterwards (at least just to have seen them) but also bc I’ve been on tumblr for so long and I’ve encountered so much about the new movies with Finn, Poe and rey (I already know I don’t like kylo) that I’m interested to see what comes before that

Seeing Ep IV with a live orchestra sounds fantastic as the music is incredible. <3

I must admit I haven’t gotten properly into the Clone Wars show! I’ve tried, & did jump in to (and enjoy) the finale ~ and certain Mandalorian episodes strongly remind me of the show’s tone ~ but it has yet to hit me right in the place where I care. What I appreciate about it & what it’s brought into the Star Wars universe is still on a more distant level, not visceral. 

I most love that The Mandalorian is truly exploring & taking advantage of the wider Star Wars universe beyond Skywalker & co. (but boy do I also love Skywalker & co.) There is an exciting amount of potential in the newly-announced projects too I love characters outside of a universe’s main chosen-one story. In 6th grade, I was obsessed with the X-Wing book series, which were definitely really marketed toward adult guys but whoops, I had found the deep Star Wars section of the library! And the first line of that series, introducing the main character, is “You’re good, but you’re no Luke Skywalker.” And in a way, that’s the Mandalorian too, to the audience if not himself ~ good, but no Luke Skywalker. Not a Jedi, not meant to bring balance to the Force, a sidestory in the main universe’s struggle.  I (from what I’ve seen/know of) get the impression that’s how Ahsoka sees herself ~ ‘you’re good, but you’re no Anakin Skywalker’. 

Of course, for that contrast to work, first you need a Luke Skywalker.

it’s interesting you mention OT acting feeling off as I would use that exact word to describe how I feel about the acting in some episodes of The Mandalorian. In some I love it! Other times... I hesitate to say ‘like a video game’ as I mean no insult to the well-developed video game characters out there but yeah, it hits me like the actor’s aware they’re essentially in a live-action video game cut scene.

But. I truly love the acting in the original trilogy! ...but also as I type this I’m watching a movie from 1944 and acting style certainly varies by decade, & mileage varies as to personal taste... but also I will never be objective about Star Wars which I have loved since I was six... but also I studied film history in college and firmly believe Star Wars, the original trilogy is just objectively good if not quite everybody’s cup of tea (...okay maybe Return of the Jedi is not quite as objectively good, but I still love it so much and given the work it had to do wrapping up the original trilogy, hey, it did its job successfully and with Ewoks). 

I love the twinkling, wry humor & also gravitas of Alec Guinness. There’s that sense of amusement as he talks to Han, as he waves off the storm troopers, and even in the “let go, Luke”... but always the right weight in the right moments imho

Luke & Han particularly can both be petulant in different ways, & they’re all quippy & brash & even cavalier at times in what in context ~ especially when you rewatch A New Hope right after Rogue One ~ in Very Serious Situations! and I love them for it. 

Carrie Fisher’s accent does shift in the one scene (which I have never minded and definitely went around as a kid trying to say ‘Governor Tarkin’ exactly the way she does), and young Mark Hamill’s Luke can be Dramatic & the Most Petulant but understandably (& prettily) so, and... yeah I probably could muster a criticism for Harrison Ford but also I *can’t*! There are some ridiculous Han Solo moments in Return of the Jedi especially, but also I love him/them/just about every choice these movies made. They just hit on magic.

The magic’s there for me from the music swelling as Luke looks yearningly into the twin suns (the cinematography!), but where it really hits is the up-and-running chemistry between all three of the main actors starting the “Luke, we’re gonna have company” scene, and then, boom, it’s the garbage chute, it’s the you’re-braver-than-I-thought/he-certainly-has-courage, for-luck, here-they-come of it all and the movie is flying. 

...and I will never forgive the sequels for, avoiding spoilers as it sounds like you’re familiar but haven’t seen them, not giving us any true interaction scenes between Rey & Finn & Poe all together until the 3rd movie. While I still so appreciated finally getting that & what we got, for me it was just not just too little but too late. I love the casting & acting for all 3 of those characters, but while fandom’s taken and run with the combination, and they had plenty of chemistry... it should have been up-and-running so much sooner. 

And the prequels just... well, even seeing them in theaters at a susceptible age, the Lord of the Rings movies were coming out at the same time and that did them no favors in comparison. As someone who judges movies above all on dialogue, that... also did them no favors. (Beyond the OT I may have a Nontraditional ranking of Star Wars movies). 

The short version of my prequels & sequels take is that both missed that cinematic magic for me, outside of certain scenes, though I still enjoy them as part of The Whole Thing That Is Star Wars Which I Love. Rogue One had that magic; I know and see the criticism of the early editing & introduction-of-Jyn’s-background-and-Krennic-and-Galen scene, but, to me, that movie is perfect. Solo was solid - maybe not magic, but reliably enjoyable, and I’ve been meaning to rewatch. The prequels & sequels... the lows are very low and the highs are very high, in terms of how they hit me. 

I feel like I’d probably sum them up as Prequels: Good Star Wars, Bad Movies, and Sequels: Good Movies, Bad Star Wars, which may seem a little harsh or too kind on one side or another but gets at my take at the worldbuilding vs. just the cinema of it all. The bread scene in Force Awakens, the salt planet in Last Jedi, the dyad-duel-in-dual-locations in Rise of Skywalker? Gorgeous. Individual scenes’ acting & dialogue is sound for me. And yet. All three sequels’ choices in respect to the entire Star Wars universe and existing characters AND its new characters? ...Tonally inconsistent with each other *and* ultimately with the themes of the OT. Whereas the prequels did so much worldbuilding, and its politics, and I’ll see gifs and think ‘yes actually, is it better than I remember?’... and then I’ll catch one on TV & it’s the Padme & Anakin romance or even Anakin & Obi-Wan’s buddy scene dialogue at the beginning of Rise of Skywalker and the answer will come, clearly: “noooooooooooooooo.”

(...this got long. Which I tend to do when I care, about fiction in any form, and with the prequels/sequels: the ingredients were there to be magic. And just-misses are more frustrating than swing-and-misses. A la, you won’t find me complaining about the Star Wars Holiday Special!) 

(...OK so I haven’t seen all of the Star Wars Holiday Special, and I’m sort of aiming to watch it through this holiday season, since what other year than 2020 seems more appropriate? So I won’t promise not to complain about the Holiday Special but I mostly expect to laugh at it.)

(That said I found the Lego Star Wars Holiday Special an absolute, surprising, laugh-out-loud delight; 9/10 would recommend & yes, 1 point deduction as I will nitpick character consistency even when they are Legos.)

[soaptunes]

2021 Q1 album roundup, part 1

it’s not really quarterly yet but yknow. it’s more of a whenever i feel like it sort of thing! artists covered in this post: moor mother and billy woods, navy blue, lynks, weezer, black country, new road, hayley williams bandcamp links are included where applicable, please support artists if you can!

moor mother and billy woods - brass ’abstract hip-hop’ has been a genre appellation tossed around a lot the past few years to describe the new scene that billy woods has orbited and influenced, but this is one of the first rap records ive heard recently that really deserves the word “abstract.”  this album is harrowing and spiky to an impressive degree. moor mother has a huge x-factor on anything she’s involved in, she’s unbelievably talented and creative, check out true opera, her fucked up noise rock album with mental jewelry if you get a chance.

navy blue - song of sage: post panic! this one is actually pretty exemplary of the woozy, downtempo, introspective style being championed in new york right now, the one termed “abstract.” the beats on this are rich, jazzy, and mesmerizing, largely based on looped horn samples. many are drumless, few get faster than a stroll. navy is relentlessly self-critical on this album, discussing in gorgeous poetic detail his struggles with depression and family. there are excellent guest verses on this from artists like yasiin bey and billy woods (hi again!) that cut through the murk and provide waypoints, definitely one to check if you’re in the mood to get downcast.

lynks - smash hits, vol. 2 the second in lynks’s smash hits ep series is even better than the already-great first, his loudly queer and completely hilarious electro-dance music more infectious and catchier by the minute. the best i can describe this is if the smug frontman of the band cake was extremely british, extremely camp gay, and producing pulsing, bassy, analog-sounding house music. packed with insane one-liners and synth lines so catchy and immediate i wonder how nobody had come up with them yet. also, there’s a cover of courtney barnett’s “pedestrian at best” on here, to which every descriptor i’ve put above still applies, and that should be a selling point just in itself.

weezer - ok human i think i go (w)easier on these guys than most, but i think this is their best album in years. this is the weezer quarantine record, one where rivers cuomo decided to swap out the classic weezer grungy guitars for a string section and his piano. it’s the kind of “huh, yeah, why not” late-career move that works surprisingly well, and switching the context of rivers’s songwriting gives the listener a great reminder of why exactly weezer got to this point. the hooks are razor-sharp and the string arrangements are excellent, and even besides those points it’s everything you’d want from a good weezer album.

black country, new road - for the first time this one is definitely pretty out there, but if you think freakout klezmer mixed with slint-ish post-punk stylings, killer sax parts, absolutely frantic vocal delivery, and sprawling, eccentric songwriting could be for you, don’t miss this. the lyrics here are really something else, the shit this guy says is simultaneously like the worst teenage poetry delivered with the biggest wink possible, and also completely vital, and also extremely alarming. some mental health professionals could probably gain valuable new insight from “athens, france.”

hayley williams - flowers for vases/descansos released so quickly after petals for armor and with such a similar title, it’s hard not to read this as a companion piece or a postscript to hayley’s solo debut last year, but this is a very different beast. like ok human up there, this is hayley’s quarantine album, but it’s not borne out of playful experimentation, it’s a much starker, quieter examination of hayley’s mental state and self-worth. this one is more unified and cohesive, hearing hayley this stripped back and vulnerable is new and very appreciated. not all of these tracks are winners, but when they are, she has the perfect voice to make your blood run cold.

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#2)

\haha yeah I was totally planning on sleeping but I literally cannot think about anything else other than getting this idea out of my brain. so, we will try to get through the finale of s2: Love Hurts. please enjoy.

-okay so right off the bat before even starting the episode, i noted a few things. the episode description is “Robin experiences complications and a new face arrives at the hospital.” How fucking annoying that it’s the season finale and the entire episode is centered around connor? of course, at this point we don’t know that the ‘new face’ is his future love interest.

-also!!! the fact that ava is mentioned in the episode description of the season finale? That’s huge!

-the episode description makes it sound like nothing fucking happens in this episode.

-also i am extremely scared to start the ep bc i feel like it is going to through me straight back into the deep end and put me in a state of emotional shock.

-i will try to take very deep breaths before the episode starts. okay. here we go.

-does this episode open with robin being carted in on the ambo bc if this is the ep im thinking about, i remember appreciating how angsty this scene was

-i still remember charles yelling ‘2 of adavan!’

-okay hi sarah i really was not expecting to see you this soon

-oh wow. just. sarah calling shots in the ed. in control. you love to see it. also. im just now remembering how early in the ep we get to meet ava. i always remembered it as being at the very end but. i remember connor being distraught with his messy hair.

-also i’m highkey loving how out-of-control connor is rn

-reese. god i missed you so much.

-they counted again. love that.

-okay but like i have no analysis just every time sarah’s onscreen i just want to say ‘i love you’

- i have not heard sarah speak in a HOT SEC and god i forgot how deep her voice was and it is sending me (its not even that deep i just like, forgot.) It has been years and I honestly think i have forgotten who sarah really was. sad.

-like i don’t remember the last time i could describe her as in control but right now treating robin she’s calm (honestly bc she’s the only other shrink on the show, but HOLD ON WAIT DOESNT CHARLES GET SHOT AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK. reese has one moment. and then her and charles start bickering. i remember why i was so mad)

-i’m in love with her.

-i really have to sit through the next 40 mins of this and just everytime i see sarah going ‘i love her,’ and now you do too.

-oh my god CHARLES SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CANNOT BLAME CONNOR FOR THIS

-also the reason i became disillusioned: dr charles just started being suuuuuper sus.

-i do love sarah. and honestly, connor, not my favorite, but this storyline really made me empathize with him. his girlfriend is having a psychotic break and people keep shitting on him. (maybe the reason i didn’t like ava at first. really kicked him while he was down)

-I... haha. sarah. hnghhh. you can guess the rest.

-if you were in this situation, with robin, would you be thinking like connor or would you be thinking like charles? personally- connor. Robin was fine. maybe a little impulsive to take her home, but charles was being suuuper overprotective (from what I remember).

-Charles: “This is on you. You did this.” I remember that line hitting really hard when I watched it the first time lmao damn.

-SARAH. HER EYES ARE RED. SHE’S SAD. SHE’S CRYING! COME ONNNN MEDDD YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME!!! (and I swallowed my water the wrong way which somehow triggered my gag reflex so now im crying too please god stop Im sorry what did I do)

-yay sarah. hey guys look at that. sarah gets to, like, do her job.

-ALSO I JUST REALIZED THAT S3 STILL SUCKS FOR SARAH BC OF HER INTENSE INTENSE PTSD??? LIKE SHE WHOLE ASS PEPPERSPRAYS HER PATIENT???

-also these are the clothes charles got shot in and honestly i’m not even mad. I’m mad that him getting shot put sarah through so much pain (i talked a lot about ava but y’all are really gonna see just how protective i am of sarah. like god even I forgot.)

-you can see how much sarah cares about connor. which is like, fantastically crazy. (it fuels the rheese shippers which is why i tend to be against it) but just like, that’s just how sarah is. she cares so much. she’s not even close to connor, but you can see how much she cares. this is why its so unfair for sarah to work in psych. like, she’s way too soft for that come on man. (y’all remember the huge car crash episode and at the end she tells ethan that it was nice to be back in the ed bc you can fix people’s bodies but not their minds? 1) she was adorable in that. 2) i am so scared for her. she just cares too much)

-okay but the above bullet is probably the exact reason why people ended up shipping ava and sarah. they both are characters who care way more than they let on. sarah is the only one in the hospital who would probably give ava a second chance after an icy first encounter. That being said, being realistic? ava is probably the only one who would she the bullshit that sarah has to go through everyday, so she would never have the icy first encounter. which in turn sets sarah’s empathy bells off or whatever.

-honestly? ava is a mean to people because she thinks they deserve it. that’s it. she’s not a bitch or anything like that (and yeah, ava stans do a little bit of overlooking her behavior bc hey if a careless med student bumps into her while passing by, thats on them). (and of course, in this world and in reesker minds, sarah has never done anything wrong, ever.)

-look guys, i did it. i boiled reesker down to its bare essentials! (lmao tho literally walking through it again from almost a totally fresh perspective, it is still so easy to see how they would have been great together.)

-also. uh. not to pile on the reesker but. ----- connor just got paged by latham. is-is it happening?

-refusing to go home and sleep because the person you care most about is lying in a hospital bed is such classic angst oh my god

-wtf? charles has meds i completely forgot? for his heart? when is he gonna get shot the suspense is killing me.

-ALSO. YOU ARE TELLING ME. THAT S3 SARAH HAD TO DEAL WITH PTSD AND A POSSIBLE PATIENT LAWSUIT. AT THE SAME TIME HER FATHER WAS BEING SUSPECTED OF MURDER, AT THE SAME TIME HE TRIED TO RECONNECT. it is a fucking crime that that is the season we have to rewatch. its a crime they abused her so much.

-waiting for charles to keel over and die like

-the worst thing is that like, he actually cares. he actually truly cares about sarah, he just did a lot of bad things. so sarah has to justify them all! and sarah had no idea how to feel because now she’s disillusioned again. please chill

-lmao stoll wow 

-oh. soft sweet boy noah. he really doesn’t know better, and that’s almost the worst thing.

-also. dr. shore. that’s really all i have to say about that.

-ohhhhh my god nat fucking chill

-what is it with couples on mad and not being allowed to be happy. (this could be about reesker if you, like, reallyyyy squint)

-aw! hey, look! it’s jay! he’s nice to look at too. ooh i also forgot how deep his voice was lol

-counting

- i honestly forgot what a good source of angst this show was. this guys parents are flying in from germany to go to his graduation and then he got hit by a car??? damn

- i still forget how much i like the cop/doctor brother duo. I love it.

-GUYSSS

-GUYSSS ITS HAPPENING

-the air literally left my lungs I am not ready.

-ITS FUCKING

-oh my god

-it is 3 am and I just screamed out loud holy shit

-I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT. IT DOESNT HAPPEN WITH HER IN CASUAL CLOTHES. THAT IS AT THE END. I FORGOT THEY INTERACT WITH HER IN SCRUBS

- I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT

--holy shit she is fucking stunning. she was just allowed to be like that? in her first introduction? while connor looks like complete shit? IMAGINE THE POWER SHE HAS HOLY SHIT. THIS IS THE GREATEST POWER MOVE IVE EVER SEEN.

-uh for those of you who are confused, ava bekker has entered the scene and holy. shit. is she fucking amazing. and she hasn’t even said a word yet. all she did was turn

-H E R P O W E R

-uhhuufhuahdoas back to the analysis - latham reiterated all of the points we just discussed in the premiere, only goes to show how this was planned, from the start.

- t h e p o w e r ava has to step on the scene and instantly fuck things up. I ASPIRE

-okay let me try again to move forward. (nope. i tried to go back to the tab and just. the expression on her face. guys. i cannot express the emotions. we will press on)

-deep breaths

-she’s so pretty oh my god

-I-uh- okay listen. it is really, really, really hard to analyze this because i have not watched an actual scene or actually heard her talk in her very very pretty accent in two years. I, uh, i need a minute.

-i honestly cannot recall a thing she just said. (i am literally in fucking love) (i’m gonna go back and rewatch the scene and see what I pick up)

-THE----the fucking way she puts her hand back in her pocket

-GOD IM FUCKING GAY

-as for analysis - god that cheeky little smile.

-she’s blunt. is what took me about 75 words to say. this is gonna be a nightmare. (if i torture myself and make myself watch s4 and s5 then I’ll be really sad) (at this point can you imagine what would’ve happened if i had watched her death? I’m remembering exactly how crushed I was)

-OH. YEAH. IN CASE YOU FORGOT? THAT GIRL? THE SNARKY ONE? ON SCREEN RIGHT NOW? SHE’S. FUCKING. DEAD. CANONICALLY SHES DEAD. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

-like just that fact is sending me so hard. i am already so sad. I had like thirty seconds of elation. it’s not FUCKING FAIR

- i need another minute. AND SHE STILL HAS ANOTHER LINE.

-this doesn’t really pertain to the theory but the “loyal, that’s sweet” line has got to mean something. Like something to be said about how connor couldn’t commit to her in s4. (its just so fucking unfair that she’s dead but we really need to move on)

-this also means that ava isn’t entirely loyal? bc she’s looking down on connor for being loyal? I um really don’t have all the info to unpack All of that, but it should be noted.

-DID YOU CONNOR? DID YOU ENJOY WORKING TOGETHER???

-from ava stan perspective: @ connor you like made her life hell, which wasn’t your fault but still. uhh she’s the one that’s dead, you’re not, so obviously one of you enjoyed it a little more. let’s move on.

-i love her.

-haha oh man jack kelloggs back. FUCKING MERC HIS ASS (i don’t hate charles that much and this storyline gave me so much fucking anxiety throughout the ep)

-god jack kelloggs such an asshole

-OKAY BRUH ETHAN AND APRIL HAVE A THING THIS SEASON? jesus this show really moves

-there are a lot of things I could complain about.

-will: “Why’d she do that? Cut her hair. A woman makes a change like that, it’s a big deal.” S4 AVA WHAT DOES IT MEAN

-i can’t believe its the season finale and they have enough time for will to ask maggie why nat cut her hair. this show is the reason I have anxiety. charles is about to get shot and what are you doing

-oh. oh wow. noah and sarah bickering/noah flirting. it’s like, adorable. which i don’t think is really fair. just, sarah’s the best

-I- uh- can’t believe that was the first time I watched an ava scene in years? that was a really big step for me?? god wow.

-god remember how sarah just like, saved robin? yall remember that? REMEMBER WHEN SARAH COULD DO THINGS? there’s a reason i hated this show.

-okay but just like the fact that charles was - content with letting his daughter be holed up in a room for the foreseeable future? when sarah had a perfectly logical answer? who is he trying to undermine here? (and that is why i hate charles)

-sharon: “where’s the daniel who doesn’t give up? doesn’t your own daughter deserve that much?” kind of a reach but if charles really cares about sarah as much as he does, and sharon knows this, the double meaning here is almost impeccable.

-oh hey guys! ava’s back!

-okay this is like super nitpicky but at this point it feels like norma didn’t have the accent down packed and its a little exaggerated and awkward at times but, come on, still love her.

-Ava: “excuse me, you’re an emergency medicine resident, why are we even talking” AVA BEKKER REALLY TAKES NO SURVIVORS (the writers just really weren’t banking on the fans being that attracted to ava) (like i forgot how blunt she was and holy shit. wow. i kinda see where the haters were coming from. its amazing to see how we clawed her back tho [by we i mean the lesbians])

-analytical. That’s what ava is. It’s almost like that thing where people purposefully say something outlandish just to gauge people’s reaction. she doesn’t argue with connor, at least not now. she just looks between him and ethan, sees she’s outnumbered, and walks off. She doesn’t know how the place works yet. she’s testing the waters. - this could be why she slowly gets more and more confrontational as the series progresses. she sees that no matter what, everyone will be on connor’s side. she doesn’t fight a losing battle. but when you’re constantly losing, its frustration. (reminder, these things only hold true in s3. s4 doesn’t exist)

-I’m fucking?? where the hell did jeff go?

-also, oh, this is maggie’s storyline. the guy dies right but he wanted to propose to the girl? wait no that doesn’t seem right...

-yooo its the girl in the gorilla costume. certified iconic. also how the hell did they have enough time for all this crap in the finale. this show fucking moves.

-for like a split second i forgot that noah and april were siblings

-noah’s a sweetie

-oh hey look it’s ava

-knock knock. who’s there? oh boy, point one for ava stans, she’s right about the surgery (potential evidence showing how this is the first scene of connor not being shit/actually being out or equally matched)

-OKAY WOW SARAH GO OFF (she’’s just fantastic i mean look at her. she’s adorable)

-ava: “Why do all the residents in this hospital think they can offer their opinions?” DR BEKKER PLEASE (okay but like i said last ep i had the exact same question. go off ava)

-connor just took control of the case (first instance of ava outright saying ‘i disagree’) (and let me guess, he’s gonna be right in the end because he literally fucking always is)

-if you look at it from a different perspective, ava was necessary. they needed someone to put connor in his place. at least, she tried. (very disappointing that she also had to sleep with him but that’s not the current point) if they wanted to fix his problem of coming off as spoiled, ava gave him a force to fight against, to earn his stars. they could’ve done it better, and actually had him lose a few times. because what does constantly letting connor win do? it undermines ava, it also undermines his attending. his attending who he is constantly having to stick up for. dude. hero complex chill. ava never had a hero complex. which cannot be said for a lot of the people on the show (IF YOU EVEN TRY TO ARGUE THIS POINT IS WRONG I POINT YOU TO THE EPISODE WHERE AVA PUSHED THE CREDIT FOR THE SURGERY ONTO CONNOR WHEN A FAMILY MEMBER WAS HUGGING HER) they did it wrong. they tried to, idk, fix connor by giving him humility, but they kind of completely forgot the humility part. and the part where he learns things. HE EVEN HAS TO STAND UP FOR AVA TO HER OWN MENTOR. LITERALLY? DUDE? FUCKING. CHILL.

-okay but that’s what it is though. ava was always meant to be the villain. because she was always a counter for connor. and connor is the hero. (you may be thinking this goes against my theory because I’m fighting for ava rights, but my actual theory is that ava was never supposed to stay past s3. the only reason she stayed was because she became a fan favorite. she was supposed to take connor’s mayo clinic offer. and you know how it probably would have happened? Connor probably would have gave her the offer. letting him be the hero one last time. [of course, this isn’t what happened. we all know.])

-OKAY FUCK THIS RESIDENT? “good call, Dr. Rhodes” SHUT THE FUCK UP??? (resident speaking rights revoked)

-I have nothing for this but just want to point out how she looks around and says “yes” all contemplative. god if i could just think about what she was thinking

-jack bro stop

-okay. was there ever an active shooter in the hospital when ava was around. bc if there was. i legally need to know

-lmao stoll

-sarah... makes me smile.

-fun fact: we are at about the half way mark. I am so sorry.

-no no no nono. so, robin just got diagnosed and is getting prepped for surgery. Sarah. don’t give charles credit for solving it. stop.

-Hey! yall remember how the best characters on the show only got thirty seconds of onscreen time together? yeah! I’m still mad about it too!

-aww connor being worried. (i think im fine with connor as long as like, ava is no where near. this scene is just very pure)

-when is this guy gonna get shot already

-aww he loves her. i want to kill him. (why? playboy. gets feelings way too quick. stop him. keep him away from ava)

-HAHAHAH okay. robin just got put into surgery and latham and ava are performing it (is it a brain surgery? yes. are they ct surgeons? yes. don’t ask questions) BUT you can see this emotion on ava’s face. she feels sorry for him. it’s up for us to decide if its condescending or she just feels bad for or bc she is on a surgery he wanted, but for the sake of opinion, i’m inclined to say she just felt bad for him (cough empathy cough)

-literally everytime charles is on screen im like when is he gonna get shot

-this scene where both connor and charles admit they were wrong is very nice (hey actually look, connor does have humility! not in front of ava tho so hmm) (sexual tens- literally no, shut the fuck up)

-HAHA HOLY SHIT I FORGOT CONNORS MOM KILLED HERSELF?? HOLY SHIT? THIS FUCKING GUY LITERALLY CANT CATCH A BREAK (maybe take a hint bro? and go far far away? well he did. too little too late ig)

-connor: “i obviously couldn’t save my mom, but I sure as hell didn’t try to save robin” *through cupped hands* HEY! HEY CONNOR! D-DID YOU TRY? WITH AVA? DID YOU TRY? okay literally what is it with this guy and people dying. for such a good surgeon... oh yeah, irony.

-hi sarah! how nice of you to check in with connor and charles about robin!

-sarah: *looks between charles and connor, who have probably agreed on something for the first time since connor got with robin* “everything okay?” literally she’s so sweet my heart.

- sarah: *laughs in disbelief* SARAH STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY FULL

-this man needs to button the top button of his shirt, i do not like that i can see it

-I------ HOLY SHIT?

-WHY DID NO ONE FUCKING WARN ME THAT JOEY WAS STILL ON THE SHOW???

-FUCKING EXCUSE ME???

- the air left lungs on that one again, i was Not expecting that.

-HOLD THE FUCK ON. I JUST WENT OF HIS WIKI AND HE APPEARS IN S4??? FUCKING WHAT??? SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HE FUCKING DID AND IF IT WAS IMPORTANT

-sarah reese is such a fucking dork she got her boyfriend a rubik’s cube as a gift?? a guy who is so nerdy that he definetly already has like five of them. hmm. things don’t add up. also he’s nerdy enough to give back a gift at the breakup. dude seriously. get some social cues. in like the bargin bin at goodwill. please.

-IF SARAH FUCKING CRIES I SWEAR TO GOD

-oh yeah she’s pregnant. that’s how the story ends.

-okay. natalie comes off as empathetic but like, in the most condescending way.

-like its fucking obvious she’s only ever caring about herself (ava bekker would never. sarah reese would never. get your head out of your ass) (ok wow that aggression came from nowhere lmao)

- i really wanna say something about - Connor: “We all know that love can hurt, but loneliness? that’ll kill you.” have fun with that fic writers. (insert obvious connection to loneliness killing ava? have we had enough? this doesn’t pertain to the theory)

-jesus will at this point stop hesitating at the ‘if we’re wrong, it could kill him’ stage. we all know you don’t care

-how funny would it be if the family just like, disowned that girl

-this will nat and co. love triangle is already so fucking exhausting

-JAY REALLY SAID WILL I AM TAKING NONE OF YOUR BS

-is he really about to break up with her. right now. i swear to fucking god

-this is so fucking stupid (what i would pay for ava to hand him his ass right here right now) (that’s a hc idea right there)

-FUCKING LEAVE ALREADY WILLIAM

-sarah and noah stay adorable

-aww stolllll, my heart

-lmao i forgot the girl who played robin was on once upon a time and i was like ‘ive seen her recently what was it’

-FINALLY HES GONNA FUCKING GET SHOT! HELL YES!

-charles looks high as balls

-the queen returns. she’s back

-IM GONNA FUCKING JUMP OFF A CLIFF

-okay. from the previous ep i mentioned ava’s line being something like ‘you’re quite the gossip magnet, your mother commited suicide, drove your girlfriend crazy, and you murdered your attending.” right?  we all remember that?

-well lads, do we remember connor’s response?

-connor: “...Well you’d better watch yourself, hadn’t you?”

-...

- I-

-hahahah this is not okay.

-AND GOD. JUST THE WAY AVA TAKES IT AND JUST SMILES, ACCEPTING THE CHALLENGE. holy shit. this fucking breaks my heart.

-i like almost can’t even appreciate the easy ending of noah’s grad party.

-oh yeah charles still hasn’t gotten shot.

-god sarah is still adorable. the way she finally relaxes FOR ONCE and lets herself have fun. fun fact: this may be the last time we see sarah just easily enjoying herself. also maybe the first.

- i am officially starting the save ava campaign, anyone who wants to join can. the goal is pretty simple. save ava. save our hearts.

-oh my god is he finally going to get shot?? like what dude come on

Okay. another episode down, the first full one, and what have we learned?

Well, this was Ava’s first episode and we learned how it seems she was doomed from the start. It makes no sense, even just her writing is disconnected from s2 to s3, like how do they do that? This ava lines up so well with s4 ava it’s almost uncanny. if you completely cut out s3 her character arc would make complete sense, in a frighteningly tidy way.

Like I said at the top, the fact that Ava was referenced in the episode description of the season finale is huge. It means she is a big character, ground shaking, almost. I really don’t know why they had to make this introduction at the end of s2 and not the beginning of s3, other than making it fit with the three month time jump that i’m pretty sure starts the season.

The way I see it, Ava had 4 main interactions/points. 1) She called connor loyal (and was blunt about Latham) 2) She remarks that residents shouldn’t have speaking rights (that one’s just funny) and disagrees with connor on the surgery, which they go with connor’s decision because of course they do. granted they switch to her plan midway through) 3) connor takes over her surgery after they disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved. Connor is right. and 4) we have the final ‘I like dangerous men’ interaction.

Let’s focus on the train of Ava vs. Connor disagreements. If we go by my previous statement which was Ava was designed as the villain to Connor’s hero, so the hero could win the favor of the public by defeating the villain, the trajectory of their interactions is not surprising in the slightest.

First, Connor wins the first point bc they initial go with his plan. Then, mid surgery, they have to switch to Ava’s plan, because she was right. This obviously pisses him off, that he was wrong and she was right.  His crown had been knocked askew. But then, he wrestles it back. They disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved, connor takes complete control, and he actually ends up saving him.

It’s interesting that the final disagreement came at the sake of a patient’s life. Ava was quick to dismiss the heart as gone, but Connor fought for it, being the hero. It’s easy to shut Ava down right then and there, call her heartless and call it a day.

if s4 had come immedietely (i have no clue how to spell that) after, it would be completely in character for ava to be a psychopath from what little we’ve seen. And honestly, no one would care. The villain would get her due justice.

Let’s switch gears to the conspiracy theory, or the redemption arc. whichever sounds cooler.

A hero is only as good as their villain. That’s really my argument. At this point, yeah, s4 seems like it was planned, just based on s2.

Okay, so, what? Is that another layer of the theory that I’m adding? that the connor/ava plot of s4 was ACTUALLY supposed to be in s3? I... no. we’ve established that is is very rare for the med writers to plan storylines that far ahead. so what am I saying?

I think that the s4 plot was actually a scrapped plot potentially to be used in s3. and when they were left floundering at the end of s3 for an answer? they retreated. sacrificing character development in the process.

So what the hell happened in s3? A horrible fluke? why was it so different?

in s3 ava became more of a rival and less of a villain. while those words can have very similar meanings, the bulk of it is that neither of them really wanted to be that mean each other, they never went out of their way to stomp on the other (at least that I’m aware of). they just were always forced to work together, naturally leading to friction.

This shift meant all the difference. Connor no longer had to beat Ava. it wasn’t required. as a result, ava was very very slowly allowed to interact with people other than connor. she was allowed to slightly develop.

Why the shift? well, the conspiracy theory suggests it’s because they wanted someone who could follow up connor if he left at the end. IF they were true rivals, each of them should be able to hold their own without each other.

okay yeah, i managed to get like 4k words out of like 5 minutes a screen time and 8 lines. jesus christ.still didnt do my hw tho

next we watch the premiere of s3 and see what happens. thanks for reading

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Part 1 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

[airadam]

Episode 122 : Drop It Heavy

"Scripture tell me no one excluded when rain drippin'..."

- Tobe Nwigwe

This month has been a rough one, but here we are once again with a brand new selection for your headphones and speakers! We remember the great KMG, and then sprinkle the selection with some strong UK tracks, overlook gems, rapid genre jumping, and one absolutely amazing remix. While individually there aren't many obscurities in the mix, I'll be impressed if anyone already knows every track on here...

Twitter : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Above The Law : V.S.O.P (Remix)

Been waiting a long time to play this one - it was quite a few years of looking to find a decent 12" copy (thanks Discogs!), and then it was one I was determined to save for an anniversary of KMG's passing. The original from the excellent "Black Mafia Life" is proto-G-Funk, but this version puts a just a touch of extra chaos (and bass) into the mix, courtesy of Cold 187um on both occasions. An ode to late-night partying and cognac, but still bringing the battle edge to the second verse, this has KMG handling the hook solo but going back and forth with Cold 187um on the mic. A much underrated tag team from the west!

Jigmastas : Too Ill (Instrumental)

I love the fact that the "Resurgence" album came with a complete set of instrumentals, just so you can get that DJ Spinna flavour undiluted - here's just a taste!

Tobe Nwigwe ft. FAT : PEEP GAME

Another #GetTwistedSundays killer! I'm bringing this Texan back for a second appearance in the last four months, with a track I think a lot of you will really enjoy. The producer Nell brings a fresh style, with some great change-ups in the beat - and the other half of the bargain is held up with skills galore. Tobe absolutely crams meaning (and syllables) into his devastating monotone flow, and his wife FAT provides a great spoken-word-like breakdown in an efficient eight-bar appearance. This is a trio of brilliant artists (along with their video crew) doing amazing things.

BADBADNOTGOOD ft. Kaytranada & Snoop Dogg: Lavender (Nightfall Remix)

Canada's BBNG first released the original version of this track on their "IV" album, but Snoop Dogg heard it and somehow knew it could benefit from his own unique enhancement! This version ended up as an inclusion on his 2017 "Neva Left" album; his added verse addressing police brutality, in addition to the controversial video, thrust it into the consciousness of a much larger audience. 

DRS : All Time High

I was reminded of this track from the new "From The Deep" LP when DRS performed it live at a Manchester International Festival event recently. He's one of the most important artists the Manchester scene has ever had, with his influence spreading far and wide - whether fully acknowledged or not. While he's now mostly known for his drum & bass work, he was of course one-third of Broke 'n' English (alongside Strategy and Konny Kon) and this album has him displaying his Hip-Hop skills over the production of Pitch 92. 

Lowkey : Hand On Your Gun

If you like politics in your Hip-Hop, then Lowkey is someone you should definitely be checking for - a British MC of Iraqi descent, he brings his worldview to the mic with strength every time. His second album, "Soundtrack To The Struggle" gives us this stinging condemnation of some of the big players in the global arms trade, with ShowNProve providing the Wild West-themed track.

Kaytranada ft. Karriem Riggins and River Tiber : Bus Ride

A nice instrumental from the "99.9%" album. The guest star Karriem Riggins gets busy on the drums in a subtle way through most of the track before showing out right at the end with a little double-time flair!

Children of Zeus : Respect Mine

"Travel Light" is now a year old and it's still getting just as much play as it did on release! Juga-Naut on production, Mr.Thing on the sharp cuts, and Tyler and Konny Kon putting it down on the mic make up a major league quartet.

Robert Glasper Experiment ft. Norah Jones : Let It Ride

As strong as this track is, it's not even one of my top three from "Black Radio 2", which speaks to just how good that album is! Mark Colenburg earns his money on the double-time drumming that you'd think had to be a programmed drum machine, setting a furious pace that the rest of the groove languidly follows. The bass and piano are low-key and do their thing without upstaging Norah Jones on the vocal of this classy cut.

Janelle Monáe : Cold War

This is an absolutely furious cut. The video is definitely worth a watch - similar to the one for Sinead O'Connor's "Nothing Compares 2 U", it stays focused on her face for the entire running length and is packed with emotion, as are the lyrics. Clearly one of the standouts on "The ArchAndroid", with the themes of isolation and struggle articulated by one of the best artists of this era.

OutKast : B.O.B

I've been wanting to do the blend from "Cold War" to this for ages! One of my favourite tracks from this duo, this pretty much made my brain explode when I first heard it back in 2000. I was surprised to find out recently that this wasn't a big hit even on the R&B/Hip-Hop charts, but they were actively trying to go against the grain and a lot of the audience probably just wasn't ready. To me, this is Andre and Big Boi at the peak of their lyrical games, keeping up with a track that really would fit the name "organised noize" - but was actually produced by the group themselves alongside Mr.DJ. That's a real gospel choir you're hearing on the hook and the outro, a really serious guitarist letting loose all over the track, and a real MPC being beaten into submission for those drums. Stone classic from the "Stankonia" LP. Oh, and "got a son on the way by the name of Bamboo"? Well, time flies...

[The Alchemist] Cam'ron : Wet Wipes (Instrumental)

This fit the bill here as something electronic-sounding that was also half the speed of the frenetic OutKast track, allowing us to come back down to earth a bit. The Alchemist cooked up a thudding, menacing beat for what was a typically disrespectful Cam'ron track from 2006's "Killa Season". This was actually Alchemist's first MPC beat (he was a devotee of the ASR-10 up to this point) and has the chopping and aggression that is very reminiscent of a track he did years later, Raekwon's "Surgical Gloves".

The Lady of Rage : Raw Deal

I finally sat down to listen to the "Necessary Roughness" album from front to back for the first time recently, and I can confirm that it was indeed slept-on. This was probably a consequence of it being pushed further and further back by Death Row, until it finally got a very quiet release in 1997. If you'd forgotten about the skills that made her a people's favourite, here's a reminder over a Daz Dillinger and Tyrone Wrice beat, laid-back enough to give her the space to get busy. 

Glenn Lewis : Don't You Forget It (Curtis Lynch Remix)

FIRE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥! The original Glenn Lewis cut from "World Outside My Window") has always been a favourite of mine, and it's one you don't want to mess up with a clumsy remix - for example, the Desert Storm attempt with the most "missing the point" guest rap verse in music history. I can't remember how I found this one, but it stunned me - the re-interpretation is perfect. Lewis is from Trinidadian and Jamaican roots, and the move to connect with someone like London's Curtis Lynch for this remix was a natural but also an inspired move. It sounds like this one has been re-voiced rather than just swapping instrumentals, and it's a rootsy dancehall masterpiece with the drums, bass, and every single accent on point. Turn this one all the way up!

London Grammar : Non Believer

I'm not even sure what genre you'd count this as - Wikipedia claims "indie pop", but even that doesn't quite hit the mark. For me there are definite vibes of what they used to call "trip-hop" - I can imagine previous eras of Portishead or Massive Attack doing a tune like this. This track from "Truth Is A Beautiful Thing" is itself a melancholic beautiful thing, with Hannah Reid's crystal-clear vocals soaring over the moody beat.

Sean Price & Illa Ghee : 2Pac by the Locker

If you know "Juice", you know what this title is all about! I'd describe the track as "short and sweet", if there was anything remotely street about it. Sean P and Illa Ghee come through like a pair of brass knuckles as they do on every other cut on the "Metal Detectors" EP - just beasting.

Jake One : Gangsta Boy (Instrumental)

Coming through slamming like a new take on Dre's "Lyrical Gangbang", this is a monster of a beat from Jake One's "White Van Music Instrumentals". It had to be, since the MCs on the vocal version are the rugged neva smoove M.O.P.

Raekwon : Canal Street

Raekwon is one of the greatest picture painters in Hip-Hop history and this is an absolute art masterclass. From the first lines "All of our fathers is bank robbers, holding TECs/Eights of hero'n, shooting in the steps" he grabs your mind's eye and never lets it go until the track ends. Flawless street imagery all the way from "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx...Pt.II" to such an extent that the video actually takes away from it! Icewater Productions bring a fairly well-used sample in that brings the crime-flick menace the lyrical content demands. One nice touch on the production side - the sudden turn up of the volume in a matter of a beat or two in the transition from the intro to the first verse - definitely makes it hit you in the chest.

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

  Check out this episode!

[stopreadingthisanddance]

2016 top albums

Here we are, last list of 2016. Top albums of the year with a few honourable mentions. Most of the albums on this list are fairly accessable, if not full on mainstream, so if you haven't listened to them and you're worried they'll be weird, I'll give warning in my short reviews of them. As with my to EPs list, i'll include a link to the full album stream (if i can find one) and one stand out track.

Honourable Mentions:

Do What Thou Wilt. by Ab-Soul was an album I really did not expect to like nearly as much as I did. It's a pretty weird and paranoid album that gives me the impression of Ab-Soul being nearly constantly strung out and panicked about everything, and yet he's got great beat selection and (mostly) strong lyrical prowess. There are a few songs that get a bit preachy, or a bit lost in the rambling mind of a paranoid man, but the hits are high. If you're looking for an interesting hip-hop album check it out. Standout track: Raw (Backwards)

RTJ3 by Run The Jewels would have been higher on this list had it not come out on Christmas. I simply did not have enough time to fully process it as a full piece of music, and thus have nothing truly insightful to say about it. RTJ are gods though so I mean listen to it if you haven't, and if you know about them and haven't listened to it yet WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?! If you haven't heard of Run The Jewels than check this one out, and go back to RTJ 1 & 2 and loop around, because you'll see some real lyrical and production growth. This album gets political, but it's delivered in a way that is awe-inspiring so I can't even get mad at it. Standout Track: 2100.

IV by BadBadNotGood is ostensibly a jazz album, but with heavy features and even heavier draw from hip-hop. If you're not usually into jazz, check out the band's albums (I) & (II) as you'll find interesting jazzy renditions of modern hip-hop that might suit you more. But, if you can appreciate a good jazz track then you'll find some real gems here, and most impressively a really good use of features that really push some tracks to the surface. This spot was almost used for Anderson .Paak's latest slot but I connected more with this album than his, although both are good. My one critisism is that parts of this album sort of fade away into background music, but tracks like Lavender and Confessions Pt. II really grab the ear. Standout Track: Up

Top Ten:

10. Simple Forms by The Naked & Famous is a high energy synth-pop album that really shows what a band can do with emotion and nostalgia. This album reminds me a lot of CHVRCHES debut album, and I love it, full of fantastic instrumentation and emotionally charged lyrics the New Zealand hailing band is the perfect soundtrack for punch dancing and summer nights alike. Standout Track: Higher.

9. Freeform Jazz by Uyama Hiroto is a gorgeous blend of Jazz and hip-hop production that brings back heartbreaking memories of Nujabes. Very few producers can come close to the talent and emotion the late-great did, but Uyama Hiroto manages to almost touch him with this album, full of gorgeous keys and brilliant lyrical features is big cities personified. If you're into jazzy hip-hop and want a good, mostly instrumental, album, you'll be doing yourself a favour by checking this out. A brillant usage of drums, keys and wind instruments manages to balance attitude and class beautifully, and is perfect for late night tales and mid day woes alike. Standout Track: Waltz For Real World.

8. Rojus: Designed To Dance by Leon Vynehall is a beautifully produced deep house album with heavy influences from UK house, offering the same style in a more danceable tone that his previous offerings. Certainty a thematic album with a dedicated begininning, middle and end, Vynehall offers a large selection of tracks that stand alone, together or work brilliantly in a mix. I hadn't heard this album in full before I'd heard all the tracks in various mixes, and as an entire single sitting music I fell even more in love with it. It starts out slow and builds steadily towards a full on funky dance album in the middle before curtailing itself off towards a slow walk home in the middle of the night. Standout Track: Blush.

7. Social Housing by Marquis Hawkes is a ride through the legendary birth of US house music, Chicago. Heavy infuences from disco, funk, soul and classic Chi-house are peppered all over this album that it's hard to beleive it was made in 2016. It's full of classic samples and drum loops for the house aficionado, but more importantly it's danceable and fun for anyone that listens to it. A brilliant use of samples and even smarter synth-usage lets each track feel unique and still part of the pack. The intro is placed a bit awkwardly, but it's a good enough track I can't really hate on it. Standout track: Feel The Music.

6. Coloring Book by Chance, The Rapper is a gorgeous example of a brillant merging of soul, gospel and modern hip-hop. This is the album that a young Kanye would make if he was just starting out now, and it's covered in the same eccentricities and brillance that one of his albums is covered in. Chance and his features deliver some brillant lyrics, full of meaningful content and well produced bangers, and are only let down by some experimental and occasionally flawed production. I loved Acid Rap a lot, and while Coloring Book isn't as catchy as his last project, it is no less impactful, and it really shows off the lyrical prowess of Chicago's latest prodigy. From the banger singles like Mixtape and Angels to the more soul and gospel influenced tracks like No Problem and How Great shows off the range that Chance has gained since his last project. He's even got a few hip-house influenced jams on here, although a shallow homage he clearly is trying to get in touch with the musical roots of his city and it shows. While nothing will quite connect with me like Lost did off his last project, it's still a better album than most artists will ever put out. Standout Track: All Night(Ft. Knox Fortune).

5. Atlas by FM-84 is a trip into the synth-powered-drug-fueled goodness of the 80s. If you haven't heard of synthwave, it's pretty much the music that soundtracked the 1980s and is full of huge synths, a fantastic use of reverb and uses more modern production techniques. Remember that Ryan Gosling movie Drive or the ultraviolent drug trip that was Hotline Miami? It's the music from those icons, but with more depth and better production, at least on this album, and also speicific to this album is the much more upbeat tone of it all. It's easy for a lot of this genre to get lost in the depression of drug addiction that is such a baseline for this aesthetic, but FM-84 manages a hopeful and innocent summery tone throughout. Standout Track: Running In The Night(Ft. Ollie Wride).

4. A New Start by Pete Hurt Jazz Orchestra is a true contemporary jazz masterpiece. I can't find a stream for this album so if you are into jazz music I'm sure you know where to find it. Not an album for everyone, but dear god does it have both brilliant song naming, as well as fantastic performances and even better composition. Born out of a currently thriving UK Jazz scene, this big band recording is full of chemistry and solo performances alike, and manages to bring the very best of modern jazz while adding his own touches. Pete Hurt only takes on personal solo, but his ability to convey his feeling and appreciation of all that has come before him is no small task. Standout Track: Barefoot Samba.

3. Holy Ghost by Modern Baseball is a contemporary offering emo-rock band that wears their influences on their sleve. From the first rift this album bleeds late 90s and early 2000's pop-punk from blink-182 and their kin. I loved their last album, but felt like a lot of the tracks sort of lacked the strength of others, and while they keep a similar angsty and emotionally fueled tone, they've matured musically and possibly thematically depending on how you want to look at the songs. Full of cheery guitar rifts and lyrics about fading love, depression and loss the Maryland based band doesn't live out their welcome in this 27 minute album, and yet gets across their points in short, (mostly)radio friendly tracks. Great choruses that you can sing-a-long to and brilliant rifts that you'll be humming along to for weeks, with great & relevant lyrics like "Days like this I miss listening to records//Making coffee together//Snow globes and Jersey sheets//I tried sleeping in our bed without you last night//That didn't work at all, cause I couldn't sleep" and "Locked your love in a screenshot//They all work that way" show that even if it is just suburban depression that fuels the band's music, it's personal and that matters. Standout Track: Wedding Singer, that god damn opening rift.

2. Nothern Lights by Zeds Dead showcases the impressive range this Canadian duo has cultivated since the early days in 2010s with their huge dubstep and trap bangers with Omar LinX like Rudeboy and You & I. With pop-influenced hits like Blame and the savage throw back to their early hip-hop & dubstep sounds in DNA with Jadakiss & Styles P, they manage to maintain a consistent theme throughout an album packed with wide reaching genres. To me, Zeds Dead will always be great to listen to alone, and even better in a packed venue, and the attitude they bring with massive drums, a fantastic use of varied synths and a nice touch of samples will be forever. They've progressed from just slamming up the volume on their tracks to persuading the listener to do it themselves, and have managed to create a distincitve sound while distancing themselves from the sloppy production of their younger years. Standout track: Slow Down (Ft. Jenna Pemkowski).

1. We Got It from Here... Thank You 4 Your Service by A Tribe Called Quest. The supposed last work of hip-hop legends manages to hold onto it's past while being current in ways that seem impossible to predict. Always political, the collective manages to celebrate Phife Dawg, feature legends like Andre 3000, Busta Rhymes and Elton John, mixed in with contemporaries like Anderson .Paak and Kendrick Lamar into a seemless composition of jazz influenced 90's hip-hop. If you can't feel it from the opening rift, then I can't explain it, an album that will last for ages. Standout Track: Dis Generation, not a full song but at this link will last. Besides, listen to the whole album c'mon do it.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand done. Hope you got something from this, cause I did. Music is almost always better together, don't forget to dance