#ive been thinking about doing something for the piggies too

[jyndor]

fucked around and got salem a friend today at the shelter. fun fact: new kitty's shelter name is salem too lmao

anyway he got out of the bathroom for a hot minute and salem (og cat) was Not Pleased but look at my new son it's the only picture I have so far

need to decide on a name

anyway currently hanging with salem so he doesn't hate me but oh boy he's so mad 😭😭😭 well he's your new brother it is what it is

anyway it will work out but introductions are so stressful

[sostrangerous]

Ok, I lied, I'm back, but only because I need to give u compliments.

I have never in my life read a fic that has made me this emotionally distraught. I have read works that have made me relive my grief or maybe make me a little anxious, but never ever have I read something like this. I think the reason why is because, particularly, mark, hits too close to home for a lot of reasons, he reminds me of my sister and me, and his family reminds me of mine. Even if I just think about the story I just feel so hopeless and dreadful because I Know it's not gonna get better lol I think it's one of those 'it gets worse before it gets better' stories and the 'it gets worse' part are gonna be so excruciating.

You are very skilled at writing emotionally constipated characters, also, I'm gonna piggy back off that person that said that the story was easy to read because I think that one of the biggest reasons why is because the vocabulary that you use is precise, understandable, and it gets the point across very quickly with as little fanfare as possible and even when you do jazz it up its very natural and it never feels out of place. The way that you use metaphors, internal monologs, and other literary devices is also very good, obviously, I think that if your use of them was bad then the story wouldn't have as much of an impact as it does.

Also, your characterizations of mark, jaemin, jeno, haechan, and renjun don't feel too out of left field, at least for me. I can see how, in another universe, they could've been this way.

This is such a good story, and I've been telling my sister about it, and she agrees. I remember when chapter 16 was posted, and mark had said, "dont make me think about tomorrow... don't make me think about anything at all. " she said that that is exactly what she felt like when she was going through the worst of it with her ocd.

I hope you take everything I wrote as a compliment because I really do mean it. no story has ever made me want to organize my thoughts into something concise and have the courage to tell the person. You are a marvelous writer, and I hope that writing brings you joy and refuge from whatever your troubles might be because even though as much as much as your writing hurts its comforting to know that there's people out there that think and feel in ways that I thought were just me. Thank you, I hope you have a day or night and be safe.

Also fuck Cameron.

thank you so much for this, i feel like nothing i say will be enough to convey how honored i am by comments like this. seriously, to hear that my work has a profound impact makes me incredibly happy, im so so so happy you like my writing :')

i will make a certified authorial guarantee that mark is making it out of here, no matter what. i would not abandon him to misery. it feels a thousand times heavier for him when hes home, but freedom is there waiting for him. his friends love him too much!!!!

also, thank you so much, im overjoyed to hear my prose is good. i geuinely think ive gotten much more skilled at writing by working on this fic. i purposefully try to pare down my prose to get rid of repetition and saying the obvious too loudly, so im definitely aiming for 'little fanfare' in my writing BUT ALSO im glad you like my metaphors :))))) im so happy to hear they feel natural and fit the rest of the prose.

again tysm for this ask, i owe u my life forever. please keep loving this fic as much as i love writing it <3333

[pwblogarchive]

December 2006

December 3, 2006

“status”

yesterday i fell backwards through a window- sure it was sugarglass and light wood.still felt the nerves slip.been sleeping 3 hour nights.i love watching people sing and speak and write about the people and things that they love.it makes me feel regular again.gave up on love when i started seeing about it in gossip rags.gave up on god when i realized one day my father was gonna die.gave up on myself too many times to count- you could trade mistakes for sheepand count me away forever at night.thanks for never giving up on me.even when you truly should have.and most of our incoherrent thought is wasted on whether it will mean more to stay or to go. if we can get home before the light hits our bedroom.

December 3, 2006

“a penny for your thoughts”

im sensing some antidote in the way the world has been speaking to me.but im all heart with these fingers stuck in my ears-playing scenes from my childhood so loud that i cant hear whats happened to me.you cant fly these wings, you cant sleep in this box with me.somewhere theres a backroom for us to be swapping spit in. a ditch for me to be forgotten again."there are plenty of fish in the sea" quip pretty fisherman on boats in stocked lakes and fish farms.do you think about me when you see the moon in the afternoon?"shape up or ship out"im nailed and boarded up in a box addressed to somewhere else.of all gods jokes, i am the most cruel- i will make you forget your headand your rulesand your friendsand your faithwe are bricks on gas pedals.we are the ink on forged checks.i will make you mine and then forget you.my head is too crowded for the company.can we go back to how it was?before there was a world out the front door that got off on being down.stockpiled good fortune and am ready to wait out the storm.i want you in my after 12am veins.lately it all just feels like looking up through ice in a frozen pond at red cheeked families skating, carefree.to be honest, even though im nodding off in airport lounges-id rather lay my head on a curb somewhere with you than any of the rest of it.and the universe doesnt care about luck or headlines.someone whispered "make yourself" in my ear once.steal me away from all of this.make yourself.

12/03/06 Q&A

question

I was just wondering, how much profanity can be expected on the new album?

answer

not too much more than what you hear in “arms race”- though i have a mouth like a sialor. i tend to write in more hyper sexualized metaphors- nothing that would warrant a sticker or anything tho…

question

who you like better.. old pete or new pete?

answer

people always seem to be in a constant state of flux. noone stays the same forevr but the change never seems to happen overnight. old pete got grounded alot and stuff but to tell you the truth ive never cared too much for either. in all honesty.

question

pete, you guys owe the midwest big time you tottaly skipped us on the FOE tour…you arent playing a show in iowa or chicago… =[

answer

duh like wed ever space out on our hometown, like we dont have something super special planned just for you that is NOT part of the tour—- that goes for a couple of places we are “skipping”- have a bit of faith. we try not to let you down…

question

Push-up bras: in or out in 2006?

answer

im not wearing them anymore this year, so i guess no.

December 4, 2006

i want to fall in love with someone who can speak parseltongue.

- xo

December 8, 2006

minus : bill and teds excellent adventure was almost halfway done when i got home. and i wasted my night thinking of someone who will never understand me.minus/plus:i cut off my hair and jumped through a sheet of glass for our new video. plus: when napoleon eats the huge banana split in bill and teds: ziggy piggy ziggy piggy. i got an igloo dog house and fake snow for hem to play in. way more fun than whatever else i oculd have been doing. going to see panic tommorrow.

- xo

December 12, 2006

5:31am

i cant explain the feeling that has been exactly the same since the first moment you bobbed your head, had your spit shoot out of your mouth when singing along, or been crush on the railing on the front of the stage.everything else aside. the flashes, the numbers, everything- i hope i am judged and remembered only by how you have felt and sung along.it is a testament to who i wish i was and am always striving to become. because as much as we saved you- you have saved me.the shows feel the same. i was worried. but a smile or a wink reminds me that we are still part of the same machine that noone else understands.sorry if this is corny but these were the thoughts going through my head as i iced my back today after the show. if i fall apart, if we didnt sell a single record- this was still the best adventure story ever written. and i am endlessly grateful for that. ill now go back to being a douchebag.i think youre gonna like the new video.... let us know if youre hearing arms race on the radio by you.... just putting the final touhces on the record- yeah we know its like shopping for presents on xmas eve. but oh well. we dont want to let anyone down, not ourselves or you.xo.sleep fast, dream hard.ps i miss my dog.

- xo

Dec 14 2006 

02:26:00

dear you,

sometimes we get caught up in riding the moment, good or bad. mental health or our bodies. usually its never as bad as it seems in our own heads or in those seconds when it seems like noone else can empathize. but the truth is, as reluctant as we are to admit it- there are strains inside of us that make us exactly the same. together and alone all at once. crashing thoughts like chemistry. playing these club shows has been like heaven for me- its the closest i can get to being that little band again- and i love every minute of it. its exciting and crushing- pins and needles everywhere in anticipation. seeing the same old faces on the barricades but with new smiles. i have high hopes that you will come with us on this record if only because i feel like i/we owe it to you. i listen to the songs over and over again and hope that they hit you in that same spot but in a brand new way.

post video: my back will be okay,so will my hair (haha as okay as it ever was), i am in love with my band more than anything else on the planet. i hope you like the video.

i feel like a hack giving advice to you on the q & a when the truth is, i dont really have a clue to get through life on my own.i havent been able to sleep since we left on tour this week- my question to you- what do you do to fall asleep?

thanks for always being there. even when you probably shouldnt.

it puts me at ease knowing that someone else doesnt get it as much as i dont get it.

December 14, 2006

“be my unholy, my one and lonely. (the inside of my head, unfiltered).”

computer broke. back broke. love broke.

but the ship is gonna look pretty at the bottom of this sea.

my memory is a steel trap.

your face has been filed away- to be scrutinized later.

to be despised.

to be loved.

to be sought.

to be dreamt of.

i am the inside of "i dont care".

right in the middle.

staring at you.

i have you read before you even say your name.

except when im wrong

and my whole world tips on end.

"i loved everything about you that hurts".

everything i love about you is a mess- is the reason you cant get through your days.

i keep the tv on loud in hotel rooms so i dont feel alone.

i wear scarves and hoods cause theyre the only poker face ive got left.

in my head i smash mirrors and break palm readers' hands.

i love to write of sex and bodies pressed against eachother- but i am not a closer and never will be, i cant get my mind to shut off long enough to make moves. id rather remember the smell of your hair and the way you faked like you were too drunk to drive home.

id rather break you down.

i dread human contact but cant stand to sleep alone- two parts of me that are constantly at war with each other.

every single mirror is a trick mirror. not just the funhouse ones. we see what we want.

i wish i could live a billion years just to evolve beyond love.

only the science of that doesnt really add up, and besides i am addicted to it.

if you cut me open i am the single most regular person that has ever existed.

it scares me.

it electrifies me.

i have put my belief in god in a sort of holding pattern- i close my eyes hard and want to believe. just because this cant be it. but im not ready to commit. keep flying. one of these days were gonna run out of fuel.

the famous < the infamous.

i want to become better than i am.

i want cures instead of houses.

and hope instead of hype.

only its all so big that i dont even know where to start.

birth and death are just the bookends, no one explains how to find happiness in between.

my mood changes before i finish whole sentences. hence the fragments.

if anyone ever knew the whole truth im pretty sure they would lock me up and throw away the key.

i dont like to talk or play certain songs because they are just an unhappy blur in my life when somewhere inside of me i was sure id be dead before anyone ever heard them.

i wish jimminy cricket was my best friend.

i think hed keep me on track.

its no fun hating someone who hates themself so much more.

youre just an amateur.

you cant complain about your back and then jump off of high things.

well you can but then you just look silly.

my attention span, my temper, my faith and my height are all pretty much just short.

if i ever really had three wishes i am sure id waste them on ruining three peoples lives.

disappointing people is my thing baby, find a new gig, this town aint big enough for the two of us.

i have a love/hate relationship with being forgotten.

i fall asleep on the keyboard all the time, i think it is of some comfort to me.

i cant wait to meet the person i will want to grow old with.

posted by xo @ 12:29 AM

December 16, 2006

2:57am

Have heart, willing to travel.

- xo

December 16, 2006

come on just let me make out with one of your friends and we'll call it even

caged all the free spirits.lets make them shiny so we see them glisten on the ocean bottom.well take your flaws and polish them as good as new-that is except for jealousy, theres been a recall on that one.expect version 2.0turned the corners of my eyes out as though they were my pockets, as i pass by men sleeping in boxes looking for loose change.fix me or forget me. at this point im going for whichever is easier.im guessing i look like i just got off a bender cause everyone keeps saying "you really should get some rest".like that was the problem.it feels like a surgeon who cant cut himself open to save his own life.going AWOL from ghost towns.look into mirrors-"wipe that smile off your fucking face."my dreams are all backyards in the suburbs and you.and whatever happens in between just make sure our plots are matching and next to eachother.its kind of tough being a people pleaser when you arent too fond of people in general.on steroids for the back- no, not the cool kind. though one of the side effects is dementia.living out of a suitcase changes your outlook on the world.its hard to imagine a time when any of this made sense.a flight.fizz of tonic water.clicking of hotel room keys."ive never done this before"s.you need oxygen tanks to climb the mountains i have made of these molehills.keep me away from the inside of your head.

December 16, 2006

here's to fresh starts

Today was one of the longest ever for me.I have no explanation. Except that relief can come from the last place you'd ever expect.Sometimes the people you expect to be there are no shows. Especially when you're on the tile floor heaving.I am ready to be me again.I miss my puppy. I think you dreamt me alive.

December 18, 2006

love/hate

I am sur ei have been loved. I have obsessed over love. the kind of love of getting in and out of trouible. I have hoped for love that is beyond you beiung caught by me or me trying to slip through the cracks. I hope for a love that is like astronomers who desribe distant planets. Even as experts it is a too far off to even properly calculate no matter how much you adore it. And I am no expert. When was the last time you felt proud of me? Ask myself when was the last time I did anything worth your pride? When was the last time I was moved, not like a piece in a board game but truly moved. When was the last time I didn't see the world in an "you always stick your neck out" or "can't catch a break" kind of way. You are the kind they cut off ears for and start wars over. You are a distant planet, noone would get from afar. You are the dream that I can't remember but can't forget. You are the trap door magicians never reveal. You're my last trick. You're my grand finale.

December 18, 2006

“diamonds into coal.”

i am a terrible typer on a sidekick as proven in the previous post.

i hate hotel room life.

i hate doing interviews.

i hate reading interview i have done.

i am overdramatic.

i am overly pessimistic. i only see the worst in everything.

but i smile and nod along anyway.

i dont believe a word anyone says to me.

but id really like to believe in everything.

this list is boring. i miss my dog.

December 19, 2006

being in new york brings back strange memories of fall. i am really excited for everyone to see the new video tommorrow. though i am completely bummed out to see people selling tickets for ridiculous amounts of money for the friends or enemies tour. the whole point of this tour was for us to play some small rooms with our dedicated fans. i dont really think there is anything we can do legally about people who are taking advantage of this. the only thing i can think of is that we will go around venues before the show and try to give out a few tickets for free (i doubt we will have many extra as most have sold out). dont feed into this. we will keep playing smaller shows and secret ones- as well as a bigger spring tour. i promise you will get a chance to see us. we are going to go everywhere. please dont let these vultures get you down.

- xo

December 20, 2006

to only you:there was this girl- a doll. hanging and dancing on strings. black hair and smiling. she lived just off of a town called naivety... some place i have driven through from time to time. and i never had an idea. cut the strings so we could run down the street under trees and roll in the grass. never meant for it to become what it did in so many different ways. never meant to always leave the driveway headed one direction and never knew what waited when i returned. only that her eyes were the lights in the windows that i pulled up to in the snow. slipping off the ends of icy roads at nights racing home through the night no matter what. and the miles got father and farther in between. and i couldnt ever figure myself out to save a thing. but now i cut those strings and she is forever dancing or lying or waiting in the lit windows for vans and buses that came less and less. and i wrote the harshest words and she wrote the harshest words. she turned from a doll into a girl and i from a boy into a monster and back into a boy now and again. eyes always red and puffy. pride always on the line. things were much simpler when she was on strings for her i think. things were much simpler when the van only went so far. before i had to press a picture of her and paste it on dashes and inside of bunks everywhere. i cant explain how i got here. it doesnt make any sense. she could follow the articles and videos or my pieced together stories. or a dog. or a dream. or words that make half sense sent in the middle of the night. and even when im telling the truth it doesnt matter cause the phone is always dead. and i am always 30,000 feet in the air flying somewhere. but i keep the warmest memories close to my heart even when im at payphones and want to cut my insides out,, dry them up and mail them to her. "im sorry" doesnt matter anymore. the words have no meaning. im sorry i cut the strings and ran away. now when i come to look for her i dont know where to begin. its hard to not say "its all my fault" but it goes through my head over and over so i cant sleep with out the AMBIENce of my bed and the puppy. bane songs. boomerangs. badnews. arkansas. goodbye love i didnt know you well or maybe too well.

- xo

December 24, 2006

they say this thing between us is getting old, but i think of it more like vintage love.

im like one of those movies you buy in a hotel with every button but rewind.have at it.your jokes.your ring tones.it doesnt matter.i cant ever get the right words to the right people.lying on the side, tears fall from your left eye into your right.filling it and spilling over. and so on.spilling out. but not pretty like in the movies.phones are always dead.white lights hanging on houses, breath in the air-everything about right now reminds me that i am all alone.and how terrible i am because of the thoughts that run through my head.like im pretty sure i could get some sleep if you were dead and gone.but not in a "drop dead" kind of way, more like you couldnt fuck with my head anymore.a snow day on giving a fuck about anything.sit here and stare at the television because thats what im supposed to do.forget to eat.sit in the roped off corner of a club because thats what im supposed to do.forget to care.and i just want to write a story or a song that makes everyone forget their troubles but im not too sure that i have it in me.hot spots become luke warm.i just want one person to know me completely before i die.i want maternity wards on stage for the delivery.spent the afternoon in an mri- its like preparation for lying in a coffin forever. it was a fear i havent experienced since i was young. the shaking and the sounds and the closeness of it all. everyone loves an underdog. every dog will have its day. top dogs. all dogs go to heaven and such....

December 25, 2006

he said "i brought the hoody back all them other boys dont know how to act"

when i was little i wanted to be max from where the wild things are when i grew up.kind of bonkers, cause he was just a kid too.

12/25/06 Q&A

question

is it true you and andy had a fight? and now fall out boy is breaking up?

answer

nope. not breaking up anytime soon. contrary to whatever stupid things have come out of any of our mouths near journalists. we are currently doing better than brad and angelina- no break up in sight.

12/28/06

question

dear pete i hope you liked your christmas i know i did i got the clandestine bag i wanted and tickets to the red hot chili peppers concert i just wanted to say i look up to you because you let me down every time i needed help i asked you because i didnt know who to turn to my older brother being the jerk he is never helped me in any way and you never answered any questions with any substance anyways i dont know how many times i posted my questions but i digress i learned that you cant depend on the people you look up to, to help you out with advice i learned to help myself out and just face my problems and if i make a wrong turn well ill learn from that too so i just wanted to thank you for making me that much more independent i still love fall out boy sooo much too much in fact or so ive been told im not just another fan that listens to you guys and asks you stupid questions i am a fan that loves your music and i know not to depend on you for advice cause you cant help me i can only help myself sorry if im dragging on but im trying to get my point across im not sure if you will ever read this one im pretty sure you wont and im okay with that cause that will prove my point ill give you three trys to answer cause i dont know how your answering process works three cheers for questions with no substance -sincerely me *strike two*

answer

glad you had a good christmas. as far as answering questions- i miss alot of them- either do to timing or that i didnt feel capable of answering or whatever. usually i answer whatever sticks out to me. sometimes goofy ones, sometimes serious ones. we as a band try to be role models the best that we can. im sorry that you felt let down. its great to be independent and i think its awesome that this question wasnt a “fuck you i hate your band cause you didnt answer my question”… it sucks to feel skipped over i know that. im glad that it sounds like youre doing well. hope your family situation has gotten better.

question

i was watching release the bats and was wondering if your parents had seen it and what they thought of it. i was oddly fascinated yet disgusted. nice job

answer

i think my mom thinks its funny. my brother and me have been doing stuff like that since we were little- so its not too shocking.

question

Since your famous to some people. Would you ever like Wierd Al to make a song about you and the rest of the band? If so, what do you think he would sing about you and the band?

answer

we grew up on weird al. we’d love the honor of being mocked in a song of his- i think maybe “where is your beer tonight? i hope it is a heineken”

[aloneatl4st]

Im not using tags cuz I hope this doesn't get found

Ive started college in 2023 and now im getting closer to my 1st year. Ive met many people and stopped talking to quite a few.

Ive recently made friends with a guy whose name shall be Hunter for this post and anonimity. Hunter is a straight guy who ive gotten to know quite a bit in the last 4 to 5 weeks.

Im ashamed to say it, because i should know better, but ive had a crush on him for i would say 3 months. Against my better judgement i decided to let myself get infatuated with a man that has no ability to like me back which isnt something surprising to me but still a mistake i couldve avoided somehow... I just dont know how.

Hunter is a very nice and caring guy i would say in general, he funny and he, unlike most straight men ive talked to in my life, isnt disgusted by my existence as a queer man. He touchy feely and for shits and giggles even asked me if i want a piggy back ride (im a 6 foot non-skinny man, he realistically had no reason to do that). I dont really laugh like I laugh with him and thats what makes me feel so painfully pathetic.

Recently it seemed he got a bit closer to another one of my friends whoch made me feel super defeated as she is a girl, but i managed to confirm from her that neither one of them like eachother.

Another huge problem is that he broke up with him abusive girlfriend about 2 or 3 weeks ago, which makes me feel disgusting and "opportunistic". I wish I wasnt like this but i havent received this level of attention from a man in a while, especially positive attention.

Realistically I know Hunter will never like me or be into me (hes got VERY clear straight boy behaviour, its hard to explain) but hes also pretty gentle with me and sometimes his touches linger and I feel like a fool for letting some second-grade infatuation ruin me like this.

Ive been unable to function for 2-3 days right now, just listening to lovesick music and fantasizing for something that was clearly not meant for me ever. Sometimes I still regret not being born a woman, so I could just love the guys Ive been into in the past without feeling added-on guilt of incompatibility due to sexuality.

I just wish he knew how special he is, and how sweet and nice, and hes also such a sight for sore eyes... Gods I am not your strongest soldier, stop giving me your toughest men to have crushes on my hearts love capacity is too large to use on men who cant love me back.

In a world in my mind where things go my way, he figures out he is bisexual and somehow I have a chance with him, I just hope itd happen fast cuz he has rendered me immoble and unable to complete simple tasks cuz all I do is think of him.

Hunter... youre very beautiful and sweet, and I know thia information is useless because neither one of us can do anything with it, but I hope whoever is your next girl will treat you right cuz if you treat women better than you treat me than I cant imagine ever being toxic to you like your exes were 💔

[cruisinmississippin]

"The electric sheep are dreaming of your face"

I was what? 9? 10? 10 maybe when I first heard this line from Incubus' Brandon Boyd n was like whoa now thats a beautiful way of saying some beautiful sht about a beautiful person maybe. Wow.

Some time around idk maybe 15 or so, I read 1984 by George Orwell n was strangely reminded of Talk Shows on Mute. Turns out he really was referencing to that book in the chorus where goes

"Come one,

come all,

Into 1984"

N then I heard Piggies from The Beatles, which is from another book of Orwell's called Animal Farm. Which finally ties the mv of the said original song. Oh! So thats what he was referencing to also.

Ok. Got it.

Now im grown, ive seen both Blade Runner films that were adapted from Philip K Dick's novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? anddddd boy oh boy im not done yet apparently.

Its nice. Nice because w some ppl like Brandon Boyd, Sting, Alex Turner, Brandon Flowers, Morissey, its like a neverending treasure hunt sometimes. These MFs read a lottt n will throw in so many references at times u cant help but wonder WTF yo? You pulled tht out of your own ass or sumthin? How? It sounds otherwordly.

Like its never really JUST about wooing a girl, now is it? It is, but theyre also ssying something rather significant at the same time.

Took me goddamn long enough to get here but I think I geddit now.

Most of the other stuff doesnt take too long for me to pinpoint n quote but this line has been rather haunting because you THINK he meant something, then its actually something else a lot bigger.

With tht said, its still a pretty cool thing to say to a girl u fancy. I believe n support the authors death citicism theory, so make of it what you will with that line. Its a hell of a line either way.

[gibbearish]

bringing this back bc ive been seeing a post going around lately saying "hey guys its really great that these fundraisers are getting lots of notes on here, but they actually need to reach their goals too. do better." like. dude. please i am begging you for the love of god take one (1) whole entire second to consider the words you are saying and what they might mean. sometimes when people cant afford to donate to something, they share it instead so that others who might have the funds can find it. this is not a new phenomenon. if its getting shared a lot but no donations, like. think. use your brain. try to put together the dots as to why that might be happening on the goddamn broke bitches website rather than just assuming it's because people just. fucking dont know fundraisers want you to donate money to them?????

like. literally look around you. if any of us had spare cash do you think we'd be Like This? there was JUST a whole post going around about "if i won the lottery thered be signs" and every single "sign" was shit like. buying a wheelchair, getting surgery, getting meds, getting doctors appointments, getting a house, fixing leaks, getting a working car, buying the things their friends need to survive, and all of us going "wow what a bleak world we live in that this is all we can hope to aspire to". and while ive never been a fan of "life isnt fair, get used to it (derisive)" type rhetoric, i do believe that the idea it's going for is something to keep in mind in situations like this. life isn't fair. a lot of people don't have the resources they need to survive, and it feels like the only people who care about it are the ones in very similar boats with very similar leaks. we're all doing our best to bail ourselves out, and while im sure we would all fucking LOVE to reach across the ocean and help bail out others, like. that just isnt realistic. if you dont have the resources to keep yourself afloat, how exactly are you supposed to have the extra resources for others as well?

life isn't fair, and while we shouldn't get used to it, we do need to like. be realistic about it and understand when that kind of guilt tripping is warranted. theres a difference between "people with resources choosing not to share them" and "people without resources doing everything they can to help regardless". and while i hesitate to say any one thing deserves shame because thats extremely subjective and i am not the ultimate authority, if i had to pick one of those two things that did, it would be the first, not the second. if people want to help you and are doing everything within their power to do so, shaming them for not doing more is. counterproductive at the very least, and outright manipulative at worst. stop treating people like piggy banks you want to shake every last coin out of and actually consider the perspective of the people youre trying to talk to. life isnt fair. dont make it more unfair by blaming people for things outside of their control. if a palestinian fundraiser fails to reach its goal, that is a tragedy. but it is not a tragedy that it is fair to place on the shoulders of Everyone Here. and i can understand why this redirection of blame happens, the true culprits are so far outside of anyone here's reach that they may as well be non-existent, so in the absence of the ability to personally strangle netanyahu, people have to find an outlet for that rage that seems like it could actually make a difference. people need to feel like the void is listening back, like the punches theyre throwing at it are actually making contact. and when youre in a blind rage, as long as the hit connects, you feel like youre doing something, like youre making a real tangible impact. and you are! just. not necessarily with the one you were aiming for, nor necessarily in a way that is actually conducive to your cause.

every time i see discourse about fundraisers go by on here im just fully struck with the realization that not a single one of you people have either taken a cybersecurity fraud prevention course or bothered to take one singular second to consider the website youre on. this is the broke bitches website. none of us can afford to fund our mutuals' grocery bills, much less entire evacuation funds, and CERTAINLY not FAKE evacuation funds taking advantage of genocide victims. all this shit abt how people are deliberately choosing not to fund every post that passes their dash because they hate palestinians literally just does the work of actual scammers for them by laying the high-pressure sales tactics groundwork, and the "do you guys have any idea how hard it is to keep coming up with new attention-grabbing fundraiser posts?" ones just ring EXTREMELY hollow because YEAH! YEAH I DO! and so does everyone i follow! and everyone they follow! because all of us are FUCKING BROKE and surviving on crumbs! i just saw one that said "i make sure to keep $40 in my wallet at all times so i can give $20 to any panhandlers i see, this is the same" and its like!! good for you, thats very nice, but like!!! you need need NEED to take a step back and realize that /being able to do that/ is a position of privilege, not the default setting to be a good person. i wont discount that some people do ignore fundraisers specifically because of racism because Of Course, but like. a) yelling at them isnt gonna make them stop, or more accurately yelling at /everyone else/ isnt gonna make those people stop, and b) trying to apply that as a blanket motivation for everyone just. realistically doesnt work. not donating is a nonaction, it is the literal default status, and while in specific situations you can use CONSISTENT absence of SPECIFIC actions to track a person's motivations SOMETIMES, broadly speaking that just. doesnt work.

there are 8 billion people on this planet. most of them will never know you exist. of the ones that do, most will not be able to help you. of the ones that can, most will not be on the broke bitches website passing the same communal $20 around. consider your audience and stop shitting on fellow poor people for having the gall to need to be careful with their money. and if you are genuinely only posting your fundraiser to tumblr, like. im sorry, but you need to anticipate not reaching your goal and prepare accordingly. theres a reason the last big scam scandal people talk about actually getting the money is like. all-or-nothing era, as a website none of us have the funds to make that kind of thing happen anymore or the security to risk it. a fundraiser not meeting its goal on here is not a personal sleight against whoever made it, its just how life goes sometimes. and it's unfair and it sucks and we should help however we can, but. sometimes you just arent able to help someone else, and continuing to feel responsible serves only to torture yourself. and blaming OTHERS serves only to move that guilt from yourself off onto another person. i imagine that has to be where a lot of the vitriol comes from, is people who cant afford to donate more getting pissed at people they see as having the funds but choosing not to share them, but again, sometimes you just are not able to achieve the goals you set out towards, through no fault of the specific parties involved.

people on tumblr choosing to buy groceries rather than potentially donate to a scam are not your enemy and are not the ones facilitating a genocide. we're all victims of the same horrific system, the question is just how that system manifests its influence on each of us. poverty kills just as thoroughly as a bomb. everyone is just doing their best to survive, and as much as we like to pretend that everyone should be a perfect selfless angel that puts others before themselves no matter what, humans are by default a selfish species, and it is a lot easier to say what youd do in theory than actually do it. and there's a reason you have to put on your own oxygen mask before helping the person beside you, youre of no help to anyone if youre too dead to do anything.

[sickficsies-and-whumpsies]

hi, may i ask you sick semi eita fic? he went amusement park with his team despite feeling a little bit unwell. Later he feels dizzy & nauseous, his team then take him to doctor/dorm. thank you 🥰

Oui oui, mon amie!!

TW: dizziness & nausea, vomiting, hospitals, brief mentions of IVs.

1.4k words, Gen.

ー ー ー

“Oh, the queue for that one isn’t too long!! Let’s go, guys!!”

Semi sighs. While Tendou’s volume doesn’t usually bother him, right now, stuck in the middle of Yagiyama Benyland, surrounded by screaming people and running children, he wishes his friend could turn it down a notch already.

The fabric around his neck feels constricting, suffocating. Semi tugs at the collar of his shirt lightly, clearing his throat silently as he trails behind the rest of the team.

He massages his stomach under the grey hoodie, feeling it gurgle under his touch. It was only two days ago when the pinch-server’s stomach first sent a painful, sudden jolt of white-hot pain throughout his body, making him shudder and gag, taken aback. But since his appendix has long been removed, Semi’s confident that it’s probably just a matter of too much coffee and too little water in his guts. It’s been a stressful week, after all. Nothing he can’t fix. It still hurts, though.

“Are you sure we’re tall enough for that ride?” Goshiki jokes, and everyone laughs, Tendou wrapping a lanky arm around the first-year and ruffling his head with the other hand. More laughter echoes among the group.

Semi shudders, chills running down his spine, stomach twisting. He struggles to even only force out a tiny smile.

ー

The safety belts press against his stomach and shoulders uncomfortably, and Semi doesn’t think he will make it. Next to him, Ushijima sits quietly, waiting for the ride to start. He briefly glances over, humming.

“Are you scared, Semi?”

There’s no malice in his voice, no curiosity either. It’s something along the lines of… Concern? Annoyance? Both?

“M’fine.” Semi gulps, “Just excited.”

“It’s okay to be scared.”

“M’not.”

“Alright. But if you were, it’d be okay.”

“Ushijiー!!” he gets cut off, abruptly, as the thing finally starts to move.

The higher it goes, the more Semi knows he’s not going to make it. There’s no doubt about it. He quickly tries to recall if there’s some sort of trashcan near the exit but he realises that he hasn’t seen any. 

His complexion bleaches rapidly. The thing is, Semi isn’t scared of roller coasters, he quite enjoys them, to be fair. Right now, the thing he fears the most is puking all over himself or worse, over the team’s captain.

And he knows it’s going to happen.

The people in the front row start screaming, Semi only a few rows back. It’s only a matter of seconds before he feels himself falling, and the world tunes out.

ー

He doesn’t actually pass out, really. Instead, once the operators remove his safety belts and wish him and his friends a fun day, he lets his shaky legs guide him down the metal staircase, eyes glazed over, blind. He’s not quite sure he’s moving, either. And he looks green.

Semi doesn’t even register that Ushijima’s strong hand is wrapped around his right upper arm, the left in the care of Tendou himself, eerily quiet. They set him down on the first empty bench they find, the team quiet behind the three.

It’s Reon to crouch in front of the ill teen, a firm hand squeezing his knee encouragingly. “Semi? Dude, hey.”

“...up…” he murmurs, seemingly catatonic, staring somewhere behind the team that has gathered in front of him, eyes filled to the brim with apprehension.

The setter swallows, a thin trail of saliva making its way down the corner of his chapped lips and down his twitching chin. He opens his mouth to speak, to say something, but nothing comes out, and soon enough he ducks his head between his knees and retches onto the pavement without a second warning. 

His teammates gasp, horrified and worried, but Reon is quick to avoid the onslaught and immediately usher the others away, leaving Tendou and Ushijima behind. The taller guy rubs at his back firmly, while the other puts a palm flat on Semi’s forehead, preventing him from giving himself a whiplash. 

His skin feels cold and clammy, ashen. Tendou hisses. 

Not long passes before Semi throws up again, more and more bile splashing between his feet, little droplets staining his shoes and jeans. He retches and gags, helpless, eyes stinging painfully, about to pop out of his skull.

Reon jogs back a minute later, stopping a couple of meters away to give Semi some breathing room. “Should we call an ambulance? He looks like death warmed over...”

Ushijima shakes his head. “We should try and make him drink something, first.”

“I don’t think he’s up to it, Toshi.” Tendou reasons, “Semi-Semi, hey, you need to take a breath, my man.” he adds, patting the boy’s shoulder while Ushijima keeps massaging circles on his back.

But Semi doesn’t. He can’t. His stomach twists and knots painfully, and he doubles over, arms wrapped protectively around his abdomen as he hiccup and dry-heaves weakly. 

“Does your stomach hurt?” Reon asks, careful, calm as ever, “Do you need an ambulance?”

“Yeah, we should call ‘em.” Tendou says, “It’s not normal to feel this sick after riding a roller coaster as bland as that one, andー”

“He was feeling ill before the ride, too. I didn’t think it was this bad, though. I apologize, Semi.” Ushijima interjects. “I think the ride was simply the last straw.”

The three stay quiet for a moment, Semi’s desperate struggles and pants and hiccups drowning out every other noise. And finally, blissfully, about ten minutes after sitting down, his jagged breaths come to a halt, and he slumps to the side, crashing into Tendou.

“Semi-Semi...? Oh shit. Is he dead? Semi-Semi?” Tendou gasps, “Guys, a little help?”

The ill teen is quick to blink his eyes open, glassy and dull, spent. “H’rts.”

“What hurts?” 

“S-stomach. Head.” 

Reon nods, serious. He then takes his phone out and quickly types something, before glancing at Ushijima and Tendou, who are both massaging Semi’s trembling back, subconsciously. 

“Okay, the closest bus stop is about five minutes away on foot from here, and then it takes about ten minutes to get to Sendai Red Cross Hospital by bus, and another minute on foot after that. What do you guys say?” Reon asks.

Tendou is fast to nod, “Let’s go, we might catch the first bus available if we hurry.”

“I��ll carry him.” Ushijima adds.

Semi then struggles, shaking his headー aggravating his nausea and gagging silently. “Th-the others, and y-you, th-the pa-park and- and the tickets andー”

“Woh, woh, slow down, Semi-Semi!! It’s fine, we’ve been here for hours already anyway, and the entrance fees aren’t that expensive. No worries, okay? Let us worry about the rest.” Tendou says, cheerful, “We’ll text the others to let them know we’re leaving. We can always reschedule for another time, alright?”

“Done.” Reon smiles, waving his phone, ‘Shiratorizawa Volleyball Club’ chat open and rapidly flooding with texts from everyone. “Let’s go.” 

ー

Luckily, and unsurprisingly, the bus is perfectly on time, and Semi doesn’t even have the time to register that he’s an eighteen year-old being offered a piggy-back ride from another eighteen year-old. He couldn’t care less. Instead, once he’s on the bus, he drifts, drained.

ー

“Anyone here for Semi Eita?”

Tendou, Reon and Ushijima are quick to reach the doctor, wide-eyed. “How is he!?”

She smiles, “Your friend will be okay, nothing to worry about. He was terribly dehydrated and overall exhausted, courtesy of the raging viral gastroenteritis he has. The nurses gave him an IV to pump some fluids into his system, and once it’s done, I’m going to prescribe him some probiotics to help with the infection and he’ll be free to leave.”

“Can we see him?” Tendou frets, “Is there anything else we should do? Are you sure he’s okay?”

The doctor nods, her expression firm and reassuring. “Viral infections are extremely common, we treat thousands of similar cases each day. I promise you, Semi-san will be okay. And yes, you may see him, of course. Come with me, please.” 

The three follow the kind doctor quietly as she leads them to Semi’s bed, in the ER, the thin curtains between his and other patients’ beds being his only source of privacy. 

Upon seeing them, Semi sits up, grinning sheepishly, cheeks tinted in red. “Hey there.” he grins.

His friends chuckle, rapidly making their way toward his bed, ruffling his hair and pushing him around with calculated motions.

He’ll be fine. 

ー ー ー

I got carried away and started researching how to get to the closest hospital from Yagiyama Benyland, a real amusement park in Miyagi. And yeah, the Red Cross Hospital’s real, too, and the bus as well. I had so much fun researching this stuff. So yeah, I hope you liked it, let me know!!

Also, anon, if you have an AO3 tell me so that I can gift this fic to you when I post it there in a few days.

September 2, 2021

[surveysonfleek]

1599.

Who’s one person who changed how you viewed something? i would say my partner  but if im honest, my parents are probably more influential to me than him At what age do you feel like you grew up mentally/emotionally? there was no one time but i think probably around 25? sounds a bit late but i basically realized my worth as a person Do you have any brothers? no Are you currently happy? im not 100% happy but definitely not dissatisfied with my life Who did you talk on the phone with last night? i was facetiming w my fiance

Is anything bugging you right now? kinda Who is the last person you missed a call from? i got 4 missed calls today all from spam callers. no one left a voicemail What annoys you most in a person? someone who tries too hard and isnt down for a civil discussion if our opinions dont align. also know it alls Have you changed this year? not that much if im honest What are you listening to right now? im watching love island while doing this Are you talking to anyone tonight? nope Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? haha sometimes, just human nature to expect the worst Whose bed did you sleep in last that wasn’t yours? my fiance’s Are you a really understanding person? yes, im very empathetic  How many hours of sleep did you get last night? around 8 How many pillows do you like to sleep with? 4 Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? yes, i always wake up to pee lol How are you feeling lately? not bad, not good How do you wear your hair most of the time? down or ponytail. no in between Think back to the end of last school year, who did you have feelings for? hahaha like 10 years ago? i still remember who it was In a relationship, do you think about the future, or now? tbh i didnt think much about the future until now Think back to the last person you kissed, did that person ever give you a piggy back ride? yes Did you see your best friend today? no :( Are you dating the last person you talked to? yes Are you close to your father? yes Have you ever broken someone’s heart? i dont think so Where did you go today? nowhere. i worked from home Where are you located right now? in my bedroom What’s between you and the last person you texted? hes an extrovert and im an introvert  Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? not really, that would be hard What was the last piece of furniture you purchased? a camping chair. technically furniture right? Have you ever broken up with someone for a reason other than lack of feelings (ex. moving away, etc.)? no Has anyone ever told you that you are too picky when it comes to the people you date? What about not picky enough? hmm not at all, ive been with the same person forever When was the last time you went to a bar? haha more than 3 months ago What three things would you change about your life? money situation, better health and happiness Was there anything unusual or unique about your birth? tbh no. oh they spelt my name wrong on the cradle thing they put newborns in. luckily not on the birth certificate What has happened in the past week that is worth remembering in five years? our loan got officially approved for land How much of your day did you spend completely alone? like 90% What was the best conversation you’ve had recently? i havent had many lately (sadly) What is the next book you are going to read? no idea, my kindly is dead lol i havent had the time to sit and read Describe the hardest decision you have ever made. not sure Why did you last see the doctor? covid vaccine Post a recent picture of yourself. nah How do you spend the majority of your free time? watching netflix lol What do you want to accomplish tomorrow? nothing, just working :( List the cards in your wallet. i dont have much. licence, savings card, private health card, flybuys anddddd i think thats it? What was the last thing to inspire you? those crazy tiktok weight loss videos Who was the last person to do something nice for you? my fiance What was the lowest point of this year? The highest? lowest point, im the heaviest ive ever been. highest, i got engaged and bought land to eventually build out home on Is there any artwork in the room you’re in? yes! one is a jeremyville piece, one is an illustration i commissioned from fiverr and two paintings are by me haha What is your number one short-term goal? Long-term? short term, change up to a healthier diet and start exercising. long term, save a ton of money Are you dealing with anything difficult at the moment? ill be okay

[troop52]

do u !!! have any character theme songs for the troop boys? Like any songs you think really fits them (and why u think it fits)?

THATS A GREAT QUESTION!!

Before I get into it Im going to plug this collaborative Troop Playlist on Spotify, feel free to add onto it!! Continuing with my picks

I think a lot of the songs I associate with The Troop in general are just because I happened to listen to them around the same time I got into the book in the first place (So they could only be tangentially related BUT only if you squint hard) Example: Drunk by The Living Tombstone, cant really tie it into the story but in my mind its linked Some better, more fitting songs under the cut (Side note its LONGGG IM SORRY... Also its all YouTube links because some of these arent on Spotify :'^()

Disclaimer -Like 95% of my choices arent really a "These lyrics match up exactly 1 to 1" but more of an overall "the vibe/general idea its trying to capture lines up" type thing. If that makes sense.

Its Alright by Jack Stauber: Kind of self explanatory, I think its a perfect song for these guys. From "It's alright, I'm here, Everything's alright, Feels weird but calm, I wanna hear It's alright" to the whole sound of it- its all great. Equal parts distressing and sad with an almost eerie calmness to it. Despite it all theyre gonna be alright, right?

The Second Little Piggy by Worthikids: Another one that I think is sort of self explanatory- at least with the chorus. "If my brain turns to mush, If the shit hits the fan, Will you be my friend?" Kind of the falling apart of everything, specifically their relationships, in light of the incident.

Poor George by James Supercave: Another case of "listened to at the same time I read the book" BUT I was actually making a Troop PMV script with that song. I never finished it but maybe Ill revisit it... just for you

Cold Summer by Le Matos ft Computer Magic: I dont even think this takes place in the summer but the VIBES and also it came from Summer of 84, which is another good piece of murder boy media.

Treehouse by Alex G ft Emily Yacina: This is a Eef and Max type of song because they are bffs and thats final. Basic song because Im not creative, but I think its a nice heart to heart theyd have (with Eef doing the talking)

Fifteen Minuets by Nick Krol: On the flipside heres a song that goes with Eef and Maxs friendship fracturing, once again more from Eefs side than Maxs. THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG

As far as songs for the boys as individuals hmmm thats a good one that I havent thought about as much...

MAX + The Ghosts by The Real Tuesday Weld: That survivors guilt... lyrics arent like a perfect match but I think it gets that sort of hollow feeling across. Hes haunted man... + Final Girl by Electric Youth: Ok its a little funny because har har Final Girl Trope but I mean HE IS ONE. ANd dont look at me its a nice song- "Others were gone, and you kept going on, You know they never really noticed, you were always different, One by one, They're all done, And you're the last one standing" + Going Grazy by Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks: HONESTLY this could go for all the characters but Im tagging it onto Max because hes the one who has to deal with the aftermath of losing everyone (sorry survivors guilt Max again </3) "Everyone's saying my mind is unsound, 'Cause I always see you when you aren't around" "They're gonna wrap me in a jacket of white, And lock me away in a room without light" is what cements it as a Max song for me

EEF + The Existential Threat by Sparks: Once again starting sad, I link this one specifically to his paranoia about the worms- especially with lines like "Can't they see the existential threat is on its way". Kind of exasperated no one else can see the danger (he thinks) hes in. + Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother: I know I know its basic but I cant help it!!! Eef anger issues arc we are shaking hands me too + Haunted by Laura Les: Eef struggles with people seeing him as "just like his father" and I think we can get some good angst out of this track if we keep that in mind. Especially the back half of the song with lyrics like "Do you think I'm frightening?" and "Mirrors shatter when I'm passing, broken glass and crashing" since he is just a reflection of his dad (to others at least). Also song good.

KENT + Goodbye Mr A by The Hoosiers: Mfw the disillusionment with authority sets in. I think the vibe fits when he had that little epiphany about how adults are fucked- not perfect but it gets the idea across me thinks. + I'm Gonna Win by Rob Cantor: Ties into his need to "win" aka be the best at everything, be in charge, all that jazz! Hell do whatever it takes to be successful, even if it hurts. That was a little emo + Toba the Tura by Forgive Durden ft Chris Conley: Not to be emo again but "They say you're gifted, well I just see a scared kid. They must have flipped it, your skills are latent. O, you snuffed the glow. Replaced it with coals. Threw away the throne... This mess that you've made, it's a six-foot grave. It's a home for your lonesome bones that remain. We'll disappear, but you'll stay here to rot" AND SO ON AND SO FOURTH representing his fall after it was revealed he was sick. He was referred to as "the uncrowned king" and was on top of the world but then POOF that all crumbled and it was made out that he basically deserved what happened to him. It would be fun to make a pmv of him with this song (Simplifying my thoughts a bit because Ive already written a LOT)

NEWT + I Earn My Life by Lemon Demon: Ok a little Kentcore but Im actually having a hard time coming up with songs for Newton so here we are, they can share. Newt existential crisis moment time I guess + Know How by The Crane Wives: POV Newt struggles with going through with the plans he makes to keep everyone safe (stopping Max from touching Kent, going back into the cabin, etc) "I am not brave, I am not brave, I keep my focus on what is safe, You drew a line, made���up your mind, And now I'm struggling to realize" And also maybe struggling with his place in the group and as a person in general- all that living through his cousin thing. "I gotta wrap my head around, What my heart is telling me, I've been trying to drown it out, Just because I know what I am, I am supposed to do now, Doesn't mean I know, Doesn't mean I know how" + On The Outside by Oingo Boingo: Idk man. Hes on the outside lookin in!! Loner nerd!! Its ok though, we still love him

SHEL + Bad Blood by Creature Feature: The lyrics speak for themselves: "I can guarantee I will do evil things, The only way that you can stop me now, Is if you put me in the ground, Somewhere I'll never be found" + Frontier Psychologist by The Avalanches: Hinges on the fact that the principal or whoever was like "Your sons a freak" and Shels mom was like "HES PERFECTLY FINE" while Shelley was like dismembering an animal or something + Johnny by American Murder Song: The songs good but theres this ONE LYRIC that sucks so the link provided is an edited version and also a lovely Warriors oc video I think you should all enjoy and support <3 Anyway Shel would be Johnny I could see this song being a scene in the book. Field trip to Shels house and they find his murder garden

If anyone wants more for Im not opposed to making another post :^)

[batsforbadones]

hi !! this is my first time requesting from someone, not sure if im too vague 🥺 but could u write some billy lenz noncon or dubcon?? fem reader preferably. i dont think ive read someone write him as good as u do ♥️♥️ much love!!

This is such a big compliment omg :’D i’m so so so glad you all like Billy. I try my best to write him well.

TW / SA - PLEASE do NOT read this if you know it’s going to be triggering for you.

Billy Lenz had never been good at reading a room. He often referred to his birthday as Christmas, though the true one rested in May, and he found himself uncapable of making people happy. There were a lot of things Billy Lenz couldn't read about Billy Lenz - And that made it very hard for other people to read, and therefore understand, Billy Lenz. Despite spending the last 5 years of your life studying abnormal psychology, you still found yourself being one of these ' other people '.

Sweat poured down your spine, seeping into the thick, blood stained fabric of your sweater. What was once a pretty Christmas green had turned a deep, messy brown the more and more you fell and fell. Harder and harder, you collided. You couldn't be sure what he had chosen to finally splay you on. In between flashes of black you'd seen the arm of a chair, the kitchen doorframe, the sink- But you believed your finally resting place was on the bannister of the stairs, dangling limply above the dazzling Christmas tree. All the blood that had gathered in your broken little nose was spilling atop the highest point of the star like a kettle would.

The man, the monster, the killer above you, that of which you'd come to know as Billy, took pleasure in noticing this, and singing the Little Tea Pot nursery rhyme as he tipped you back and fourth.

" Can you hear me? " He asked in a cold, rotten voice. His shaking hand came up to wave in front of your face. The harder he waved, the more and more your body fought to flinch, to do anything- But it couldn't bring itself to perform any reaction beyond a simple blink. You couldn't fight any more. You had long since run out of adrenaline, and every moment spent since was agonizing and, in retrospect, worthless. You were giving up. Your body had already done so. There was no point in fighting the inevitable. Be that murder, or, by the clack of his belt, something much more torturous, you were giving up. " You want my dick, right? " A violent spasm on his part and your body was tipping over the bannister. His hand snatched your collar, yanking you back to him. " Put that miserable prick away, Lenz. Nobody wants to see that tiny shit." Slurred the man. " It's just cold! It's cold! " He squeaked in reply, grip on your sweater growing tighter and tighter. " I'm a grower! " He snapped. Maybe if you weren't so frightened, and - No. You couldn't even begin to rationalize this. To attempt to read the man, the boy, the human, once more. There was no world, no dimension, no alternate time line or place where this would've been okay. Where the man, who seemed so bad by breed, would've been okay. You couldn't manage a smidgen of sympathy for him, not while your eyes rolled back to meet the many bodies of your sisters, rotting below you, beside the dazzling tree. " Come here, pretty pretty. " He clicked his tongue, bringing you closer to him. A gentle tug left you steady in his arm, sitting up to face him. You kept leaning and swaying, but he kept you upright, kept your attention on him. His right hand, with finger nails like claws, grazed your face, cupping your cheek. He starred into your eyes. Really, really starred into them, and with a gleeful smile, filled only with mal intent- He laughed. Laughed as if he were watching someone receive a gag gift at a Christmas party. Laughed as if he was watching a child open a present they had begged for- Laughed as if he didn't hold your life in his hands. " You look a lot like a piggy I killed last week, can you say oink? " You couldn't say oink. You couldn't say anything, in fact. " If you say oink, I won't rape you, you know? " He brought a hand up to your chest, just to cross it, as if that gave his word more ground to stand upon. You couldn't manage and oink, and so he sank in dry, something guttural being ripped from his throat, and then from yours. In between shots of black and violent greens and reds. With each thrust, you found yourself tipping further and further over the bannister. You found it within you, the tiniest will, and as he managed one final sharp thrust, his seed spilling inside of you, a howl losing from his throat, you tipped back entirely. In vertical, your skull hit the star, and the star hit the ground, and then your head hit the ground, pierced by the star. The room was silent, said for the moans and groans and whines of the afterglow of the boy named Billy Lenz. The man shook violently, held up only by the stairs. Billy wondered for a moment, as he continued to come onto the rail of the bannister, if he too would tip over, meeting such a violent fate. Following such a pleasant delight, he figured it'd be poetically mandatory. You had a fondness for things like that- Books. But Billy couldn't read too well.

[vlogsquadssquad]

secure

summary: Charlie puth invites David to a get together where David meets y/n and they hit it off.

a/n: a teensy weensy bit angst but im 100% making a part 2 of this with a happy ending so no worries!!!!!!!!!

warnings: language

mood board:

-- 3RD PERSON DD & CP

“hey what are your plans for Saturday?” Charlie asked David as they finished up a bit for the vlog.

“umm, nothing really. im kind of in a fog right now. why?” David took a bite of his apple.

“well im throwing a small little kickback at my house. a few of my music friends are coming and it might get you some good connections, if you'd like.”

“dude, that's fucking sick! name drop! is Selena Gomez gonna be there?” David asked excitedly.

“no, no, Selena doesn't really do too many social events anymore. she's going through a lot...” David raised his eyebrow as Charlie looked to the ground. “but you know who will be there? y/f/n!” 

“shut the fuck up dude are you serious?” Davids heart dropped at the thought of y/n at the party. he's been crushing on her for a bit, and has been dying to meet her. 

“yeah, I mean she texted me she would, why are you all giddy?” Charlie punched David on the shoulder playfully, but secretly didn't want David to say he had a crush on her because truth was, so did Charlie. what's not to like? she's humble, kind, funny, easy-going, and down for anything. 

“oh, uhh... no reason, just she's a pretty popular singer right now. good clickbait.” David said with nervousness in his voice. he didn't want to admit that he had a crush when he hasn't even met her.

“alright, well ill see you at the kickback then. bring some friends!” Charlie tried not to sound worried or suspicious. he’d have to keep an eye on the two.

-- YOUR POV

I really hate going to parties. but Charlie promised it would be chill and just a way to destress. ive been in a fog with my album im writing. I have great songs but I need two more and im stuck on what to write about. maybe the party will be a good thing. 

-texts w - Charles 🤪 -

< should I wear something casual or ?? are we dressing nicer lol

you look great in everything! >

maybe party casual if that's a thing? >

< thought it was a kickback you ass! lol but thanks for the heads up. see you there, Charles! 😉

-end texts-

he hated when i called him Charles but i love messing with him. after careful examining of the clothes i had, i decided to go as I was. it was an easy going outfit but I still looked put together. I had no one to impress anyways. 

-- 1st PERSON DD 

“dude, im so nervous.” i whispered to Ilya, who knew of my crush. 

“its fine man, don't be a pussy.” i took a drink of my water and grabbed my camera to film with Benny Blanco a little he always had something funny or interesting to say.

“Charles!” I heard from the living room. i didn't think anything of it and kept filming with Benny and Jeff. a little while goes by and then Benny looks over my shoulder.

“hey, y/n/n! so good to see you!” i froze. y/n went and gave benny an inviting hug and then turned to me. her eyes were easy to melt into.

“hi, good to see you, im y/n” she went in for a hug. she smelled beautiful.

“oh, hi. im David. big fan.” 

“and im Jeff, wow you look so great, can I get you a drink?”

i rolled my eyes at Jeff trying to make a move. of course he's into the same girl I am.

“oh, im ok, I actually don't really like to drink.” she's so kind and gentle as she speaks. 

“so how is the album coming?” benny asks her.

“its... not.” she laughs lightly but I can tell she's stressed. is it too early to tell her I already know her inside and out? am I crazy for watching all her interviews, tiktoks, and instagram stories? 

“im in a fog,” she looks to the ground. how are we already so compatible? “I want two more songs but im having trouble finding a conclusion to the story im telling. maybe there isn't one, I don't know.”

“what's the story you're trying to tell?” I ask feeling very brave and comfortable already.

“basically my current dating life.” she slightly blushes. “its so hard dating and every time I start to like a guy or I know of him and I already have a crush on him, it doesn't end well. and I have these little romances I write about but they all end in either piggy behavior or ghosting.” we laughed along with her. her smile was radiating.

“maybe I can help, do you wanna go to Charlie’s studio?” Benny asks her.

“you're an angel! yes! ill repay you in food.” she laughs. as they walk out, Im watching her. she moves so flawlessly. “hey, you can come too. might get something good for the vlog.” she smiles to me. my heart is beating out of my chest. she watches my videos or at least knows of me. “cool, thank you.” I say trying to remain calm. she also pulls Charlie in and he drapes his arm around her shoulder. they're just friends.

as we get seated in the room, Benny starts asking her questions. “so, we know what message you're giving but how are you delivering it for the album? what's the feeling? want to play us a song that captures the vibe?” 

“well I only have the instrumentals for the songs but I can play one live?” 

“great, lets do it.” Charlie smiled to her as he handed her a mic.

���don't post this anywhere, David” she warned.

she brought warmth to my cheeks. “nope, ill only use it as blackmail.”

her laugh was such a gift. I could tell jokes all day just to hear her laugh again. 

she played a beautiful song that was slow and powerful and all about heartbreak. it hurt to hear her go through that. then benny asked for another song. this one was more pop. like id hear it on the radio, but still deep. 

the rest of the night was them composing songs and some stupid jokes here and there. safe to say she's the most down to earth and funny person in the room. the fans will go crazy that im here with her. im going crazy that im here with her. 

-- YOUR POV

I spent the whole night in the studio with some amazing people. I found myself taking it all in and being so thankful for my life. ive known of David and watched his vlogs pretty frequently too, but being with him was a whole different experience. he gave great advice and genuinely helped me through some of my block. he gave a listeners point of view and had fresh ears. it was nice. he even offered to walk me to my car.

“I figured you'd have like a limo waiting for you outside or something.” he joked as we walked toward the street.

“nope, that's just youtubers.” I joked back.

he laughed, “ouch.” 

“thank you for your input tonight.” he chuckled. “no, I really mean it. I think I know exactly how I want to end the album.” I look into his eyes as my back is pushed against my car. 

“where's your mind at?” he looks back to me.

“loving myself. I know it sounds cliche, but isn't the greatest romance of all, the love you have for yourself? tonight was the most fun ive had, and it was just hanging out with friends talking about endless things.”

he nods as he takes my words in. “you're really secure with yourself. I like that. its going to be a great album.”

he leans in and for a moment I think he's going to kiss me which I don't need right now. then I see his hands go low to the handle of my car door and he opens it for me.

“oh, I can't take a hint, huh?” I joke with him.

“no, not at all. I just know you're excited to go home and write your new hit.” he says almost seriously.

“thank you” I whisper. “and also, can I get your number? id love to do something fun for the vlogs.” 

-- DAVIDS POV, NEXT DAY

“il, it couldn't have gone better! she asked for my number, bro!”

“that's fucking sick. imagine you dating one of americas sweetheart, music icons.” Ilya pokes at David.

“its not a fucking joke, I really think there was something there but id really like to get to know her better.”

“who are we talking about?” Charlie asks as he enters the room. David had texted him to meet up for a bit they were doing.

“uh, no one.” im quick to reply knowing they're` great friends and I don't want any drama.

“oh ok... so what'd you think of y/n?” he asks me.

“oh she's great, yeah, I was editing some last night and I think I'll keep some parts in.”

“yeah, she's so easy to be around. I think im gonna ask her out, she's kind of the girl of my dreams, and im like 99% sure she's in love with me too.” he says almost marking his territory. 

I look to Ilya and he just half smiles. “oh, that's great man. yeah you should ask her out if you're in love with her. she's a great catch.” my chest falls as I say it aloud. I really thought she liked me. 

part 2

[purplesurveys]

1244

1. Have you ever seen two movies at the theater in a row? No. I don’t think I have the attention span for that, regardless of how much I enjoyed the movie.

2. If you were to go to Starbucks right this second, what do you think you’d order? Iced Americano and maybeeeeeee a chocolate cheesecake or their barbecue chicken sandwich.

3. Do you own any dice? Yes.

4. Do you like to wear cardigans? I do like them and wish I had more because I think they suit me, but it’s not really a priority either.

5. If I were to ask you nicely, would you please consider making a survey for me and everyone else? I can try but will probably quit halfway through because I’m not super good at coming up with questions that haven’t already been asked.

6. What is the worst thing a child has ever done to you while you were babysitting? None of my cousins ever misbehaved towards me when I had to look after them. The worst thing I saw was a kid punching my sister in the stomach, but he cowered as soon as I came over and begged not to tell on him lmao.

7. If you wear contacts, do they tend to get really dry after only wearing them for just a couple hours? I don’t wear contacts and am generally not a fan of the idea of dropping things in my eye haha.

8. Have you ever watched any British television shows? Like...Mr. Bean? Lol sure, I guess. I don’t watch a lot of it though.

9. Do you own a nightgown? No. I don’t see it as a necessity.

10. If you could get any pet right now, what would you? I’m more than ok with my two dogs.

11. Have you played Grand Theft Auto: IV? If so, what do you think of it? Yeah I’ve played every game in the series. I don’t have too many memories of GTA IV though...my favorites were mainly San Andreas and GTA V.

12. How often does your internet disconnect? With our old connection it probably went out once or twice...a year maybe? It definitely didn’t run into a lot of issues. But we recently switched our service to one that’s able to provide a much quicker connection, but it’s been a bit of a compromise because it has issues a bit more often than the one we used to have; it goes out for a few hours several times in a week, which can be a hassle for my work from home setup.

13. Have you ever actually been stuffed into a locker? No, our lockers were too small to stuff a person in them.

14. Do you / did you decorate the inside of your locker at school with stuff? I didn’t. We weren’t allowed to.

15. How many teenagers do you know who have babies? I don’t know teenagers with kids now, but I have several classmates from high school who gave birth when they were in that age range.

16. Is there a fan in the room you’re in right now? Yup, mine is always on unless I was purpose wanted to sweat my ass off.

17. Do you believe that chivalry is really dead? No but it should be, as should any sexist institution predicated on the idea that only men are real people. <

18. If you have one, what’s your favorite novel by Chuck Palahniuk? I don’t have any.

19. Do you get your surveys from your subscriptions page or do you actually go to specific sites and search for them? Tumblr, or Bzoink if I can’t find any interesting ones from here.

20. How much is your cell phone bill each month? I use prepaid, so this doesn’t apply to me.

21. And why the heck is Cingular now AT&T? I really don’t care.

22. Have you ever made a house out of a giant cardboard box? It was possible, as a kid.

23. Have you ever made a tent out of sheets in your bedroom? This one, definitely. It was easier to do this hahaha.

24. What’s the coolest thing you’ve made with Legos? I was never creative. I only made towers.

25. When you make a survey, do you answer your own questions? I’ve never made my own survey.

26. If you could keep your parents or trade them for other parents, which would you pick? Ugh this question is so cruel...I would change my mom’s personality, I guess. I don’t know if I’m willing to trade her.

27. Do kiwis make you think of testicles or is it just me? No, I don’t think about kiwis ever.

28. Do you think it’s cool how peroxide gets all fizzy when you put it on a cut? I don’t think about this either.

29. Is there a piggy bank in the room you’re in? No.

30. If I had the power to give you one thing right now, what would it be? A loaded bank account.

31. Do you want to get pregnant right now? Not now, but I do want to be able to have this experience someday.

32. Do you know anyone who doesn’t like the internet? My grandma hates the whole tech thing and has refused to learn anything beyond the landline phone.

33. Do your grandparents know how to operate a cell phone? My late grandpa did and paternal grandparents do. Like I said, only my maternal grandma hasn’t bothered to catch up with gadgets.

34. Have you ever housed a friend for a long period of time because they had no place to live? No, and I’m not sure if this is something my mom would be receptive to. If I had my own place, I would do this for a friend in need in a heartbeat.

35. If you have a favorite comedian, have they ever been in a movie? I don’t have a favorite comedian.

36. How many sets of twins do you know? Three off the top of my head. Two sets from my high school, and the other set were my classmates in an English class I had in college.

37. Has anyone ever made fun of you for using proper grammar? I don’t think so.

38. Do you own any hemp jewelry? Nope.

39. Have you ever cut carpet with a carpet cutter? No, I didn’t even know that that’s an actual thing, so thanks for the new information.

40. Are there any books you want to read? I’m not really eyeing any book. Haven’t for a while now.

41. Is it before of after 3 pm? Before, I guess. It’s 4:03 AM.

42. If you have younger siblings, are you very protective of them? I can be of my sister. I have virtually no relationship with my brother.

43. If you have older siblings, are they very protective of you? I’m the eldest. 44. What are your plans for New Year’s Eve? I don’t plan that far ahead.

45. Would you like a beer? Eugh hate beer no thanks.

[marauder-exe]

The Third time Sirius Black felt his heart stop.

The Third time Sirius Black felt his heart stop, he was newly 17, and it was the summer before his last year at Hogwarts. Everything was starting to settle down. He had moved into the Potters and it was truly amazing, he had bagged him self a really fucking beautiful girlfriend. like a veela-beautiful-unexplainably-pretty-like-everybody-wants-her-like-really-fucking-beautiful girlfriend, and everything was generally going really well. And he didn't want to screw it up. And he was beginning to think what he was about to do would screw it up.

You had been staying at the Potters with Sirius, Just to make sure he had gotten settled and was having a good time. You only planned to stay there  few days, but it had eventually turned into staying for the whole summer, but you didn't mind. Staying at a huge summer house with your favourite boys (minus Remus, but he was off on holiday somewhere. Lucky git.). Of course Euphemia and Fleamont Potter were there, but they where honestly lovely, and they praised you for how much you ‘calmed Sirius down’ as they put it. This summer had been amazing. You guys had spent the majority of the time at the beach, or in places no one could imagine. You went on Ferris wheels, to libraries (Your idea of course), went swimming. It was honestly one of the best summers of your life. But now Sirius was acting strange, and James was acting secretive, and you where determined to find out why.

“I think he's going to propose” Marlene stated, her arm firmly wrapped around Dorcas’ shoulder. Lily and Mary squealed in response. Everyone had got together for a day at the beach since school was about to start.

“He's not going to proposeeee, don't be silly.” You groaned.

“I think he is!” Lily piped up and you gave her a look. “Im serious! In all the muggle books, the men get all distant before they propose” She stated while you just stared at her. Sirius couldn't propose. He just couldn't. You had a timeline. Finish school, secure a job, get an apartment then think about kids. You where only 16, there was no way he would propose. You gave them all a glare.

“Think what you want, I know Sirius, and I know he wont” You smiled and began to walk towards the boys.

“Its been 3 years (Y/N)! He's bound to put a ring on it soon!” Mary shouted as you waved your arms to shush her, getting closer to the boys.

You had gotten to were the boys where situated on the sand, All of them in nothing but swimming trunks. You had been wearing a small swimsuit that Sirius had got you for your birthday.

“Hey Remmy?” You sat down next to him on his beach towel, and smiled sweetly.

“Yes (Y/N/N)?” He immediately knew you wanted something by your sweet tone.

“Do you thinkkkkkkk...” You dragged out you words. “You could give me a piggy back in the water?” You have you sweetest smile and layed your head on his shoulder. He groaned.

“Why cant your BOYFRIEND do it?” he asked and you huffed.

“Your stronger, no offence Sirius. And he doesn't like to get his hair wet.”

“Fineeeeeeee” He said, an underlying blush on his cheeks. He bent down so you could climb onto his back and he immediately rushed you both over to the water. Water splashed everywhere and you and Remus laughed.

Sirius and James sat on the beach, staring out into the water.

“You better put a ring on it before he does mate” James laughed. Sirius knew you and Remus where strictly platonic, as much as Remus didn't want it to be, he wouldn't make a move on his best friends girl.

“You know the plan, ass hole” Sirius said. Right. The Plan. The Plan was taking place tonight actually. Everyone knew the plan, well everyone meaning the boys. They where going to come back to the Potter mansion (The Potters where out of town, as Sirius had already told them the plan), James and Remus had decorated the Garden with lights and stuff (Remus was a little bit, very fucking crushed), They'd have a barbecue going, Sirius would ask you to go for a walk around the pool, next to James’ Sakura tree, like all those years ago when he asked you to the ball. He just hoped nothing went wrong.

So after a long day at the beach, they all headed to the Potters, The boys in James VW bug, and the girl in Lily's Chevy Bel Air. It was a great ride, music blaring warm air passing across your face as the sun set, you where truly happy. You all arrived at the house around an hour later, it was decorated beautifully. All the girls gasped at the beautiful garden.

The little party you guys had going was going swell, everyone was a little tipsy, and James was on the barbecue, before Remus took over. (Side Note: Never let James on the barbecue). Sirius felt the ring box in his pocket, then looked towards you, he saw you smile and giggle at something Lily said. Its now or never. He walked up to you and tapped you on the shoulder.

“Hey” He said softly. “ Wanna go for a walk around the Sakura trees” He watched a smile instantly light up your face as you jumped up. You grabbed his hand and began to walk, mirroring all those years ago. You talked, about everything, about the summer, about what the next year would bring. Then he stopped at your favourite Sakura tree, and watched as you looked around in happiness.

“So, (Y/N)” He grabbed your hand as you looked at him, still smiling. “You know we've been together for 3 years now, and I couldn't be happier” Your face fell as you realised what was going on, lily had been right, he was about to propose wasn't he? “These past few years you've made me the happiest Ive veer been, from the day i saw you, you made my heart stop. And to this day you still do. Every time I see your smile, and hear your voice, I know everything will be alright.” You began to tear up.

“Sirius..”You tried to stop him.

“Please, I know what you gonna say ‘were too young Sirius’ ‘im only 16 Sirius’ “He mimicked in your voice, he was right, that's exactly what you where about to say.

“But I don't care. I don't care that were too young. I don't care what people say. That we’ll never last. I don't care because I know we will. I know we can last. I want to wake up everyday and see your face. I want to call you mine forever.” He dropped to one knee, puling the ring out of his pocket.

“(Y/F/N), Will you marry me?” In that moment, he felt his heart stop again, for the third time in his life. The pause before you gave your answer was perhaps the longest wait he'd ever endured, or at least that's what it felt like. It felt like there was no air left to breath, time felt slowed. Until finally…

“Yes” You breathed out. AND, immediately, Everything sped up, he breathed out, all the noises resumed, and he could feel his heartbeat in his ear.

“Yes?” He asked incredulously.

“Yes!” He stood up and you immediately jumped towards him and rapped your legs around him. “Of course ill marry you!” He hugged you so tightly, like he thought you would slip away if he let go. You stood back up and he slipped the ring onto your finger, it was perfect. You where perfect.

[edwardslostalchemy]

Shouto.....Shouto making so many FRIENDS has me WEAK, you guys. I'm telling you, I have been sobbing about this for MONTHS because I love platonic relationships and friendships and they're so GOOD and I want for my son to have ALL OF THE FRIENDS, DAMN IT. LISTEN TO ME.

Shouto, Momo, abd Tenya knowing each other since they were kids???? So good. The rich kids club is wholesome not because they're rich, but because they love and support each other.

Shouto and Momo being like siblings???? Oh my God I'm in TEARS. Both of them looking out for each other and knowing each other's cues. They can talk in a certain manner to each other because they care. Like Shouto making Momo eat if she skips a meal and he gives her half his food like "you are NOT going hungry" and shes like "you're such a mother hen".

Shouto and Tenya being those pals that are just. Really in tune with each other???? Like!!!! They don't have to tell each other something like "I got your back", they just DO.

Shouto and Izuku!!!! Oh my GOD these two could kill a man and get away with it, but they don't do it because they're good kids, Brendt. These two are in tune, too!!!! Like they GET IT. Izuku gives Shouto one look and Shouto knows what he has to do. Or Shouto starts walking somewhere and Izuku doesn't even have to ask, he just follows because they come in a package.

Shouto and Ochako!!!!!! My sweet winter children!!!! They're so chaotic!!! If you think Shouto and Izuku and Tenya are chaotic, you have not met Ochako!!!! The pranks these two can pull!!!!! They WILL miss with you and your stuff!!! Make your stuff float while it's frozen solid oof rip your favorite lamp or whatever. Also she gets him into Disney and Studio Ghibi movies!!!! Ponyo is their movie!!!!

Shouto and Kyoka oh my God. Shouto giving her feedback on her music and telling her she could maybe mess with different genres. I love the headcanon of him knowing how to play the bass and sings like an angel, so I can see them bonding for their love of music and also writing music and lyrics together. Wholesome. So very wholesome.

Shouto and Denki. Meme Lords Extraordinaires. Denki is responsible for educating Shouto on memes and you better believe he's a good student. He's a little confused but he got the spirit and then he finally gets it! And Denki is so proud of himself ohmg. Aizawa gets extra gray hairs when he sees these two together. No brain cells found and that's the point.

Shouto and Eijirou please oh my God please. Training with ice, Shouto making it and throwing it at Eijirou while Eijirou uses his hardening to break the ice. Them being cool work out buddies (with others like Mido and Iida) and like being spotters for each other or whatever theyre called, idk I dont lift weights. MANLY.

Shouto and Yuga ahhhh pretty boys UNITE. Please oh my God Yuga has been wanting to dress Shouto up because he's just. Really pretty. And Yuga is like I must advise him. He can look fabulous. And he does. Everyone dies because Shouto comes out with shiny fashion clothes and it's Shoujo Shouto all over again rip in pieces.

Sho u to and Mina!!! Mona teaching him how to dance hello???? Or he already knows how to slow dance and she teaches him new things ahhh get on this with me!!! Imagine!!!! The possibilities!!!

Shouto and Tooru!!!! It would be so cool if they could work on quiet operations together. He is a quiet guy in demeanor, but his quirk is loud, so it would be cool if he could work with Tooru to be sneaky. In turn, Tooru is a quiet girl with her quirk but she can be a loud person. So Shouto teaches her how to keep quiet. STEALTH FRIENDS.

Shouto and Rikitou!!!! He teaches Shouto how to bake!!! One day Shouto comes in to the kitchen and brownies are ready and there's Rikitou cutting them in squares and Shouto is like *star eyes* and asks if he can teach him. And when Shouto learns, he makes Rikitou and the rest of his friends cakes and brownies and pastries alskdjslafk. Making food for friends is the way I show my love and I think Shouto would do the same thing.

Shouto and Mezou!!!! Quiet guys!!! But cool guys!!! I think it would be adorable if Mezou would give his friends piggy back rides like how he carried Izuku, and I think Shouto would Crave a Piggy Back Ride, and so. It would happen. Please Mezou carries Shouto if he's super tired like ready to pass out tired and Shouto, to return the favor, can be like his hot/cold compress if he gets any of his appendages hurt. They can also relax together like can these two please meditate together?

Shouto and Fumikage!!! I know Shouto provides light with his fire and Dark Shadow is not a fan of light, but what if he was a fan of warmth, like a cat? And Shouto is very warm. I can see Dark Shadow gravitating towards Shouto and Shouto is real cool about it like yeah get your warmth. And Fumikage is embarrassed at first, but it like helps them to become friends. They trade offence/defence secrets.

Shouto and Tsu!!!! SWIMMING BUDDIES. SWIMMING BUDDIES. SWIMMING BUDDIES. It would also be cool if they trained together to help Tsu with the cold and it could be a way for Shouto to train his temperature regulation, too. Getting too cold for Tsu and shes about to hibernate? Turn up the heat from your left side. And Tsu would be a happy frog.

Shouto and Ojirou!!! (Idk how to spell his first name!!!) Their first mock battle experience is behind them. They are sparring buddies. Shouto is lacking in close range and Ojirou is lacking in long range fighting so they team up to spar and work on that. Shouto can spar with others, too, like Ochako and Izuku, But Ojirou has a lot of experience in martial arts and Shouto has a lot of experience in long range fighting. They get stronger together.

Shouto and Koji!!!! More quiet guys!!!! And very sweet guys!!! Shouto tends to draw the attention of cats because he is Warm^TM, and Koji tends to attract cats by talking to them. So they have a very good time while going outside and cats just. Come to them. Its so good okay. They love cats. They have snuck in a cat together before and Aizawa hasn't found out, mainly because Koji has been talking to the cat to stay quiet and Shouto is attentive to feed it and let it outside.

Shouto and Hanta!!! THE SPORTS FESTIVAL IS BEHIND THEM. I can see them training, playing video games, sending memes, causing absolute chaos in the group chat, you name it. Mischief like the kind Denki would be proud of. They have... That suspicious air that theyre up to something and their friends are like "should I watch out for something?" At this point, everyone is suspicious of them but they havent pulled any shit lately to keep people on their toes. Next thing the kids know, the whole common area has been rearranged. Not in a new position. Just a little to the left, enough to make people slightly uncomfortable. Its hilarious.

Shouto and Katsuki ahhh ive been thinking about them for an au and for my fic. What I like is that they have synergy (thanks Two Heroes) and they exploit this synergy. And I find the dynamic of frenemies to be absolutely hilarious. So they're those friends who are like "yeah, he's a stupid bitch", but if ANYONE ELSE insults them, They're like "THATS MY STUPID BITCH, GET YOUR OWN."

Shouto and Hitoshi!!!!! Sleep deprived but will still cut a bitch, individually or together, doesn't matter. But when they team up, run. They are the kings of snark and puns and Aizawa has had enough and its only been two days. Hitoshi ALSO loves cats, so Shouto attracting them has Hitoshi going "hmmmm perhaps I will keep you around after all", and Shouto is like "wait until Kouda gets here" and oh boy. They all have the time of their lives with the cats. Also, good quirk training for them both. Shouto can banter, but he will not speak or answer any of Hitoshi's questions so he doesnt brain wash him. And Hitoshi will capture Shouto with his capture weapon and leave Shouto literally hanging and feeling like it's his final exam all over again goddamnit war flashbacks.

BONUS: Shouto and Mei!!!!! Besides Tenya and Izuku, Shouto is Mei's favorite guinea pig!!! She goes absolutely nuts with his support items and she comes up with new things for him all the time. He is the perfect little person to test out all her fire proof babies and water proof babies and OoOh her ICE proof babies!!! ARE YOU INTERESTED IN A CAPE?? ITS FIRE AND ICR PROOF. IT CANCELS OUT AIR RESISTANCE. And at first hes like ahhh too loud, but then he gets used to her and hes like give me everything you got throw it at me. She has code names for her customers and she calls him Iced Venti Chai Latte. VERY GOOD.

I JUST WANT HIM TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE. STAN SHOUTO TODOROKI.

[drangues]

You can’t see it but I’m pointing and saying that you’re the one who gets me because I also love cheesy stuff. Also I’ve been a nerd over Many things in the past- Mythology, geology, psychology, computers, characters in a franchise I don’t like but I love This One Person, etc. Have I stuck with any of these things long enough to be Smart and Cool and Know A Lot? Absolutely not. But my anxiety dictates that I’ll annoy anyways. (Nyanon, 1/6)

Putting my annoyingness aside, the ones that are your favorites aren’t basic!!! They had an impact on you that makes you cherish them, and that’s important! My Neighbor Totoro is probably one of the most well known (and therefore “basic”) films they’ve released, but it’s super important to me anyways. But yes, the two of them would look adorable in the Ghibli style,,, I can even imagine them just. Dressing up as Howl and Sophie for like, a convention or something, it’d be great. (Nyanon, 2/6)

And listen he has to be doing Something with books!!! He loves them, and I feel like he’d love being able to restore or take care of them in someway, even if they are inanimate objects and it makes him feel a bit silly for being so attached. If he isn’t doing restorations or bindings, then he’s definitely a librarian. Also!!! Imagine that Kyouka’s little familiar was a gift from Atsushi,, Maybe it’s Byakko??? Like, tiny striped kitty Byakko. (Nyanon, 3/6)

I think that’d be cute, but it’s been a while since I’ve been able to watch Kiki’s Delivery Service, so I might be a bit off on how that works. And! I like to imagine that, when he’s turned into a wolf, his ability doesn’t work? Because Reasons, so he and an equally fluffy Atsushi often curl around and on top of each other, it’s adorable. Also imagine Dazai’s frustrations with his new instincts. He keeps wanting to immediately run after anything that moves. (Nyanon, 4/6)

He can’t stop chasing his own tail when it pops up, in and out of wolf form? And he doesn’t know HOW Atsushi avoids growling and making noises at Every Little Thing that bothers him. It’s exhausting and Atsushi is just vining with all of it. Anyways, onto another Scenario Concept: Atsushi getting to try out new hobbies! Because at the orphanage, all he could really do was read, but now that he’s out, he can try all sorts of things, even if he doesn’t end up staying with it. (Nyanon, 5/6)

Cooking and baking? I think we’ve already discussed that he’d Love it. Creating artwork? Not really up his alley, but he really admires people who stick with it! Singing and playing music? He’s a bit too shy to do it in front of others, but he likes listening. Just. Atsushi being able to figure what he does and doesn’t like with the help of the people around him. (Nyanon, 6/6)

ill tell you as many times as you want that youre N O T annoying im having Beef with your anxiety m8 pull UP and thank you uwu, ive been told that theyre Basic so oftentimes ill say “i know it’s basic-” to save the person from having to remark something negative about the movies SMH and im glad you find comfort in Totoro uwuwu (godammit now i definitely wanna draw atsushi and dazai cosplayers in a convention dressed as sophie and howl AAAAAAA)

atsushi very much loves books!!! kyouka would probably be chilling on the rooftop of the book store, old radio that atsushi found beside her playing some music (yes atsushi also likes to collect Old stuff and vintage stuff as well) and then she just thinks “HMMM I WANNA GO ON MY WITCH ADVENTURE NEXT FULL MOON” (which is in tWO days) and as she goes to tell atsushi that atsushi almost messes up the book hes trying fix because hes in SHOCK “kyouka? what do you mean? what should i do about the movie tickets then?” “Cancel them! im going!” *cue staring in cluelessness before snapping back into reality and scrambling after an already packing kyouka*

(i imagine that kyouka is an orphan like atsushi but she knows that her family is a lineage of witches cus she became an orphan when she was like. seven or six so she KNOWS and when she started living with atsushi he just supported her and her traditions)

and then atsushi calls the small circle of friends they have and tells them that “hey!! kyouka is going in two days!!” and theyre like oH SHIT NO WAY REALLY (i imagine its koyo, yosano, fukuzawa and lucy are the people that are in their circle of friends that see kyouka off)

while byakko is atsushi and kyoukas Cat he definitely gives byakko to her as hes crying and saying that she needs to have a friend from home before she makes new ones and kyoukas like “ill be Back dont worRY-”

KENJI IS THE BOY SHE MEETS AT THE TOWN SHE SETTLES FOR AND THEY ARE CUTE AND FALL IN LOVE IM SORRY AAAA- i just ship them okay they would be very cute

and then later on that night when kyouka is gone and everyone went home atsushi closes the book shop but then Somebody walks in and its the WITCH and they C U  R S E him and he becomes OLD and hes like “i cant let everybody else see me like this” and FLEES to try and find whoever cursed him or however he can Lift this dumb curse cause he does not want kyouka to come home to change, he just wants her to comfortably come back and fall into her usual routines without much of a shock

and so he meets Dazais Moving Castle and i imagine chuuya being the angry calcifer and akutagawa being dazais quiet but Cant Say No underling (which is so CUTEEE) and they. its just. Yes. (chuuya is smitten but doesnt which is why he gives in to atsushi so fast that it surprises dazai) either way all that drama happens and now atsushi is back with a new boyfriend (read: husband), a same aged friend, and an angry former Flame which is Not what atsushi accepted but hey, kyouka is back with a heart filled with romance so she cant be too shocked at atsushi also being in love

sorry i went on a whole tangent there

anyways, werewolf dazai!!

dazai: how do you deal with this?

atsushi, dead serious: i ignore it like i ignore my hunger

dazai: 

(wait side note do you think atsushi would unconsciously do stuff he doesnt realise that he just,,,,Doesnt need to do anymore?? like for example he’ll be like “ah i cant i gotta do all of this torturous work before actually letting myself relax” and then he’ll realise wait,,,,i Can relax now,,,why wouldnt i be able to .What Do U Think Nyanon)

PIGGY BACKING OFF OF WHAT I SAID THAT REALISATION WILL PROBABLY MAKE ATSUSHI TRY OUT NEW HOBBIES ! ! ! AND IT’S JUST SO CUTE

[scandeniall]

mirrors for friends ch//1

Pairing: TBD x reader (repost bc its not showing up in tags and ive had ppl check too sigh)

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Summary: Youre in a band, Mirrors For Friends with your college best friends Kuroo, Iwaizumi, and Atsumu. They're chaotic, your chaotic but you guys are on your way to the top together. Check a/n at end.

warnings: This IS multichapter. recreational marijuana mention. Everyone is over 21, tags will be added as needed but they're adults what do you expect.

wc: 1253

Inspiring playlists (updated as i find stuff) Apple music | Spotify

Ch. 1 // Mirrors For Friends: The Intro

The air was a mixture of sounds. Instruments being prepped, jokes being thrown, random conversations and the occasional song that played in the background. Just another day in Mirrors For Friends, well for everyone except for you. Earplugs in and an eye mask on, you’d been laying on the dingy couch since you arrived at the bar hours prior. Of course you just had to get a migraine on a day where your band had a show. It was about two hours to showtime, and you were just as good as dead. For once, you were thankful that you had your bassist, Atsumu to cover at least some of your vocals.

Atsumu, Miya. The youngest member remains a complete pain in your ass, but you couldn't see your life without him in it. He was the life of the party, and had been your party buddy during your early 20s. The one always down for a good adventure. You could always rely on him to tell you the honest truth, although it had taken a while to get past his overly blunt nature. Once you did, you saw the resident “pretty boy” for the dork that he was. The one who gets pouts whenever the conversation is moving too fast and he can’t think of a retort fast enough. The one who absolutely melted at the sight of food and would even share some of his brother’s famous onigiri with you. When he's not plucking bass strings he works as an assistant volleyball coach for the local high school. Your love for your band mate had eventually replaced your first meeting with the basest. A meeting than ended in you wanting nothing more than to wipe his stupid smirk off with your fist. You had just started your second year of university, completely minding your business until a stray volleyball made its way to the back of your head. Before anyone could even apologize, you’d manage to throw a few curses at the group of rowdy boys. Your future band mate had come over to apologize but ended it with “maybe you should've been paying more attention.”  After flicking him off you never thought you’d see him again, until you were formally introduced by none other than your drummer.

Hajime, Iwaizumi. The drummer of Mirrors For Friends. The oldest member of your quartet. There was only one year between you and him, but two years between him and Atsumu. Iwa, is the backbone of the band. The most responsible one, having taken care of a drunk you more times than you’d like to admit. If your feet were ever hurting, he’d be the one to give you a piggy back. He definitely looked the most bad ass of you all, with two sleeves of tattoos. Despite that he has a soft spot for the band. He's the most responsible of the band, but you learned that despite that nature, he knew how to have fun. He’d definitely supplied an underage you with alcohol before. When he’s not playing with the band, he's a tattoo artist, and has tattoo’d every member of the band multiple times. In fact, he was the only person you trusted to tattoo you. You’d met him midway through your first year of university, when he was an apprentice. Despite being 19, he’d already had a full sleeve and a shiny eyebrow piercing. In his attempts to calm you down, you learned that he was only a year above you. He was definitely more calming than the jerk that had dragged you to the tattoo shop in the first place. That person being your guitarist.

Tetsurou Kuroo, the guitarist of Mirrors For Friends. He was one of the first people you’d met in university where he ended up being your across neighbor. You’d had your door open in an attempt to get some air circulation in the stuffy dorm, when he noticed your guitar. Full of stickers, it looked used and he was curious. After, finding out the two of you had a common interest in music, the two of you became best friends. He’d ended up being the brother you never asked for. His teasing is similar to Atsumu, however he knew how to keep up. You two became nearly inseparable. He was the member you tended to confide in first, because it was just natural. The one always down to just vibe. You remember the many nights spent in private study rooms, just writing and talking music together. You quickly found out that his writing skills were incredible, not only that but he had the best ear for composing of any of your band mates. Some of your favorite pieces came from writing sessions with just the two of you. When he isn’t antagonizing your band, he works as a TA for a science class at your university. He decided about a year ago to go back to school for a higher degree in biochemistry.

Then there was you. Lead singer, keyboardist, and occasional guitar player when you felt like it. At 26, you’d been in the band since you were 20, and you wouldn’t change it for the world. You loved writing, you loved performing and you loved your boys. Even now when you could feel napkins that you had no doubt were greasy pizza stained ones being thrown at you. It took for the fifth one to hit your forehead to finally sit up, removing both your earplugs and eye mask. Groaning at the combination of fluorescent lighting and noise you shot death glares at your band mates. Who were all miraculously just standing next to one another, pretending to have just been doing nothing but talking. “Would you three do me a favor, and drive off a fucking cliff.”

“I told them to stop,” is what Iwaizumi said, but the smirk on his face said he played a role just like your other idiots.”

“Dude you threw the last one!” Kuroo chimed in.

“Yeah well Atsumu started it”

“What the fuck Iwa- selling me out”

If it weren't for the pounding behind your eyes you might’ve been amused and the usual bickering between the boys. Afterall, it was never serious. If only you could enjoy it.

“Would the 3 overgrown toddlers shut up.” Burying your face into your hand’s you felt the couch dip beside you in the now empty space, and another voice picked up from across the room.

“Yo- what's with the attitude today,” your bassist questioned. He had settled himself on a smaller couch, eyes narrowed on your miserable form. Once he heard the mention of a migraine, his gaze softened. “Tsumu, I’m gonna need to to sing a little more today alright. '' The younger boy nodded, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. He mentioned something about going to look for a pen and paper, so you two could outline a plan and to make sure you had a stool for tonight.

“You wanna go smoke? It should help a little,” the body next to you moved and you looked up to see Kuroo, offering a hand.. “It’s a spot in the shade out back, c’mon.” You took the hand and before you could head out your last bandmade stopped you.

“I have enough time to go pick up some Advil and maybe some caffeine. Don’t smoke too much, you know how strong Kuroo’s shit is. We still have a show tonight.”

“Don’t worry daddy Iwa, I’ve got our beloved lead singer. We’ll be fine.”

-----

a/n: alright so i’ve been inspired by samwrites Elixir (which YES 100000/10 recommends) AND sam has had an anon talking band au’s lately AND i saw a msby band au edit on twitter so i cracked out my keyboard.

ok but seriously, idk which guy im gonna end up doing so for now itll just be band dynamics, and then whoever sparks my interest or whoever is voted on after a few parts will win. I did a randomizer, got a winner and started but then started feeling the other possibilities. Anyways whoever is not the chosen ones its just friendship, no love triangles and shit. But whoever wins, just know I have a potential plot for ALL ((((im just too un-dedicated and busy with summer college courses to actually fully commit to all of them)))

lastly, this is me again experimenting w/ diff ways of writing so bare with me AND if anyone cares i could make a taglist.