#ive been telling mel i dont give a shit

[gaysonlyocean]

ok ok I have a few for ogtbh

how is evelin handling everything? I care her so much how is she doing-

chaos on the car #1, the theft, I really REALLY wanna know more about Thatcher and Dave's reaction and how shit goes down after

and uhhhhh what was Adam's first kill like-

(you don't need to answer all of them i just wanted to gives some variety teehee 🥰)

oh yippee mel questions!! EDIT FROM HALFWAY ANSWERING THIS IS GOING UNDER A CUT SOBS UH WARNING FOR DESCRIPTION OF MURDER

evelin would answer being asked if how things are going with "well its going ':]" she stressed out of her mind as it is

shes trying her best to keep things under control and not freak out but nothing seems to be going right and she was already dealing with m.a.d. as it is so shes been having a lot of quiet cries to herself when shes pretty sure no ones looking

evie was also venting to jonah about things at first, but then the ear thing happened and she felt bad putting it on him when hes also stressed so she stopped and has just been internalising it

the bottlecap pendant and the conversation she has with thatcher to get it help alot though!!

god i fucking love the first chaos in the car on their end cause they have a significiantly less chaos in their car but its still so chaotic, we get two for the price of one in that bit

they literally said NOTHING to eachother the entire ride up to that moment other than a "get in" "thanks" when thatcher picked dave up cause this happens literally like. a hour after the divorce phonecall so neither are happy about this

AND THEN SUDDENLY DAVE JUST GOES "is that my car??" AND LOW AND BEHOLD IT IS AND SARAH IS DRIVING IT so dave just winds down the window and you KNOW thatchers car doesnt have electric winders so he has to turn that fucking gear thing and now hes half out the fucking window going "sarah? is that y-" AND SHE FUCKING YELLS OUT A CUSS AND HITS THE GAS SPEEDING OFF

SO NOW THE TWO OF THEM ARE JUST SITTING THERE CONFUSED BEFORE THATCHER STARTS DRIVING AFTER THEM AND THE ENTIRE TIME THEY CAN HEAR EVERYONE SCREAMING IN THE OTHER CAR

AND THEYRE NOT MUCH BETTER CAUSE DAVE KEEPS GOING "WHY DID SARAH STEAL MY CAR???" TO WHICH THATCHER GOES "IDFK THE ONLY INTERACTIONS WITH HER IVE HAD WERE HER SENDING ME DEATH THREATS WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME???"

theres also a lot of unhelpful comments from both of "where did she learn to drive holy shit" cause of sarahs fucking gta approach to it rn

how things go down after is they finally catch up cause unlike sarah thatcher is trying to not accidentally drift and shit and daves car is just abandoned

they go out into the area to try to find them when suddenly both of their phones start going off and then stop ringing the second they go to answer

dave thinks this is weird but thatcher thinks this is Alarming and starts looking extra hard and eventually find bps + evelin trying to sneak away and they just have. so many questions

but before they can ask any dave goes "dammit im gonna be late to the church" which makes adam panic and go "you absolutely cannot go there" and then he just. refuses to elaborate and now his friend are also vaguely going "yeah dont go to church"

obviously this is Weird so they go "right car theft forgiven your all coming with us what the fuck is going on" and they are refusing to give answers while staying at daves house for the next few days

dave doesnt mind and is happy to have people over so hes just trying to play host and having fun while also trying to contact o'brien who strangely is ignoring him

thatcher starts coming over again for the first time in years cause he also wants to know what the fuck is up with these kids and uh

he gets his answer :)

ANYWAY MOVING ON this ones gonna be a doozy ill tell you that >:)

adam killed someone for the first time when he was 15, and what he really remembers of it is the aftermath of six basically going "finally, you became one of us so young yet took so long to do this i thought youd disappoint me again and not do it, im so proud of you" cause yknow the desperation for parental affection weve all been there

it was someone in yonder county, he doesnt remember the details exactly of how the house looked from the outside, but he does remember the interior like the back of his hand

single bedroom bungalow with a really tiny bathroom, no tub, the fridge hummed incredibly loudly and they always turned the stove off at the wall for some reason, they didnt really have room for a living room but they had a nice recliner in the tiny space anyway, and a stack of books beside it, there was a lil storage space inbetween the bathroom and bedroom in which the owner kept a vacuum and cleaning chemicals

adam had let himself into the house a few days prior and had gone unnoticed, keeping himself to the little storage space, moving lil things around the house to make them doubt things

he then cornered them in the kitchen, just like hed been taught to do, and he doesnt remember he had the knife first or if they had it out but he knows he pushed it through their neck until it came out the other end

and then, despite the praise he got for it, after it was done he found himself feeling weird about it, it wasnt quite sadness and it wasnt quite guilt but it was bad whatever it was

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 the scene with Vic’s death is about to happen: ‘why the fuck is Debbie throwing everything of Vics out. Just make up. Sit down and talk. Hug it out. Aww, he’s sleeping and they’re breaking into his house. Vic? Vicky? No. No. No no no no *starts slowly standing up* NO NO (Mikey is telling Deb now) what the fuck is going on? NO NO PLEASE NO (mikey tells he died) NO *starts crying* NO NOT VIC! NO NO NOOOOOO. No he just got happy! He had a boyfriend! And A HOUSE! AND A COOL BAKING JOB! NOOOOO THIS IS BULLSHIT NO. AND THEY DIDNT MAKE UP! THEY DIDNT FUCKING MAKE UP! THEY WERE FIGHTING! NOOO THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO HUG IT OUT! NO. THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT.’ Then Justin showed up ‘okay he looks cute. His hair is finally growing out. He really wants to go to Ibiza. Damn, Justin has some good lines. BRIAN! See! I told you, just fuck him together. (Brian says vic is dead) fucking hell WHY WHY DID THEY DO THAT’ the worst scene (in my opinion) happens where Brian tells Deb that bullshit ‘THIS IS SOME SHIT IF IVE EVER SEEN SOME. Im not saying he wouldn’t say some fucked up shit like this to someone. But itd be to like Emmett or Ted or Mel. But NOT DEBBIE! Not about vic, come on. Why would they make him say that? He hugged Mike and everything and youre telling me hed look at deb and say that? Why would they do that? Why do they always make Brian be the asshole?!’ All he did during the Ted/Blake scene was squealed with his hands in fists shaking them. ‘AND THAT Debbie, is why we watch our words because you never know. Emmett! Finally you read the letter. Good job, baby! Im so proud of you. Please give Ted another chance’ *he is now once again crying* And the Brian/That guy scene is up *still teary eyed* ‘well looks like Mr sunshine, is going back to school! We did it Brian. He looks sad. I just know that he feels sad because debbie slapped him. Why would they make him say all that shit? Whats the reason? Okay but since when does Brian chew gum all the time? (The guy tries to give Brian his card) *still crying* he doesn’t do encore’s! See! He respects Blondie’s rules…unlike someone else (the guy tells Brian he has a lump) *stops crying* what now? What the fuck just happened? WHAT KIND OF SICK BULLSHIT IS THIS? *looks at me, his whole face is wet and has red eyes* what the actual fucking fuck is going on? He has a lump? As in like maybe cancer lump? No. No. No. WASNT VIC ENOUGH?!’ He then got up, grabbed his soda and cigarettes and went outside. And as he stepped outside, he like looked at the cigarette in his hands and said to it ‘dont judge. Ive been through hell in the last 40 minutes’ So he is officially not okay.

My heart is breaking for your brother. The first time watching Vic die is not easy. It never gets easier but at least you know to brace for it.

They make Brian the asshole because he tells the truth... and no one wants to hear the truth.

ANNNND the cancer arc...

[jungkookio]

this is like th ugliest thing ive ever drawn but !! i hit another milestone a lil while back so its time to give some love back <3 

@all my mutuals: i love every single one of u, each of u has so many wonderful qualities and regardless of whether we’ve been mutuals for days or for months, i appreciate u so much and i hope u have an amazing day, keep doing u !! <3

bolded and italicized = u have a special place in m heart

💖 = special mentions (scroll to the bottom <3)

#-A

@13jimins @175pjm @1oyalty @2pinebreaker @2suga @4hobii @4yoong @4yxing @7boyss @93-jpg @9yoong @adoreseokjin @aekth @ahoneyyboy @ahoneyyboyy @almondyoongi @alyoongi @angustdissin @applehairtae @apricotmin 💖 @aragyeom @arrozon @artistictae @at-dawns

B-C

@babygukk @badgalyoongi @baek0ok @bangtanhugs @bangthetanboys @blumiin 💖 @bts-vtaemins @btsjikooksaranghagu @btsofmyheart @btsparkles @btsrapjin @btsxlami @busanbfs @busanjk @busansdaegu @bwiminkook @cataehyung @cherryprincejin @chiquitae @chokemeseokjin @chvnjiny @cinnamonsuga @cinnawon @ciutae @cozynamjoon @cryjeon @cuteseokjin

D-H

@daegusoftboys @dailyjungkooks @defendkimseokjin @deletaed @denouemin @eternaljimin @existentialjimin @fantasies-of-euphoria @fapmonster @floral-hobi @fluffyliontae @fluff-tae @gamjin @goldseok @greyhairedtaehyung @gukiee @harunyany @heolseoks @hiimcaroline @hobikookie @hobithighs @hobsbf @honeychai @hoodiejungkook 💖 @hosehobi @hoseok1e @hoseokjung @hypetae

I-J

@icedrice @ilovbangtan @iluvkth @its-suga-sweet @itschims @itskimtaehyung @iweedu @je0n @jellyfishes @jeon-core @jeonbia @jeongk @jeonjeongguke @jeonnings @jeonsgguks @jeonyoons @jhbts @jhyo @jihoonful @jimeolk @jiminap @jiminiephile @jiminsangel @jiminsoftgf @@jiminyoongs 💖 @jiminzinho @jimissi @jinbaby @jineatthis @jinnies @jinsasleep @jinsthighs @jinswings @jnqkook @joeguk @joonjulyagustd @jungkooknoises @jxdoraa

K-M

@kainks @kc-junghsk @kiimtaehyungs @kimnaamjoonie @kimtae95s @kimvitae @kingdoyoungs @kissgyu @kisskook @kookmiinie @kooknochu @kooks-gf @liegf @literally-just-yoongi-trash @literaltae @lovjeon @manggaejams @mangosuga @marudesaurius @melaninbam @min-yoongle @minjiminin @@minmayhem 💖 @minsuga--genius 💖 @minsyugga @minyoongistummy @minyooongii @moonkth @moonm0chi @morejinplease @mylovejhs

N-P

@naamjoodle @namjoonned @namsgi @namujeon @nicejimin @noona4bts @@noxiim 💖 @ohteahyung @omfgbts @otpvmin @parkejimins @parkjiminivan @pastel--woozi @pbandj-hope @philophobia999 @pinkhoodiemark @pjminis @pjmksj @pjungkook @prettymochi

R-S

@rainpjm @rapmonstor @rapmunstar @reihyung @rosykook @s--yub @saintminyoongi @salty-seoltang @selflessjin @serendimin @shelovesjjk @shutupkookie @silkguk @snowchuu @soft-jihoonie @softguk @softykook @sugahyung @sugaidc @suganochu @sugas-noona @sugass @sugasuite @syubii

T-Z

@ta3taetae @taeboos @taegonia @taekookiesandcream 💖 @taenity @taepott @taesbiwi @taesflower @taetwin @tahyeung @tahyungs @tiamojimin @timinnie @trickstersweet @ttaegiis @ttaewo @tvehyungs-gf @useoyaji @vanillalattaes 💖 @velvethoseok  💖 @vendettafrank @vickafrank @warmjins @whysuga @winktaes @xseokjiin @yoongg-e @yoongisnugget @yoongiyi @yoongsb @yoongster @yoonmin-smile @yoonngi 

💖 💖 💖 special mentions  💖 💖 💖

apricotmin - jia, ur an absolute sweetheart, thank u so much for my letter, i just got it !! ill be writing back to you asap, you’re working so hard at the minute!! i hope things arent too stressful, u deserve to be so so so happy, please look after yourself as much as you can  ily <3

blumiin - nine youre one of the kindest most down to earth people i have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and i know i say this all the time but i really mean it because you go out of your way to do the nicest things for people, ily to the moon n back <3

hoodiejungkook - mel u already know how much i love u, i wld literally die for u at this point honestly ur th real mvp, i can always trust that u noticed that 0.000032 second eye contact and are screaming about it just as much as i am and u know what that means bitxch... soulmates, astounding, ily <3

jiminyoongs - fran i fuckckcing love u so much what the HECK honestly u just attack me all the fucking time but in th cutest funniest way ?? i ?? love ?? it ?? bully me some more sis (this is some stockholm syndrome type shit fran what have u done) anyways uh i wld eat a shoe for u <3

minmayhem - ken ur my no.1 sinner, my go-to if i ever wanna just yell about The Gays and u kno why i love u, cause u yell right back pal, u feed my screaming,im nourished, also ur a weeb and i need some of that good good weeb content, us weebs gotta stick together ~~s-s-s-senpai uwu 

minsuga--genius - katy ur a whole damn angel i swear to god, ur one of the softest bitxches i know n rlly m heart is so warm for u, ur always out there hyping me in ur tags n i appreciate u so much, i know we truly bonded over HOC so if u ever wna break ur heart some more hmu, i have a whole list sis... also ur hair looks so fuckin good, stan beauty stan katy, ily <3

noxiim - karyn you are so ridiculously talented and beautiful and kind??? what can’t you do, honestly ur an icon, ur art is so beautiful and inspiring and i would buy everything in ur shop if my bank account would allow it, its all so pretty !! (also i noticed, u draw eyebrows the same way you do ur own and i think thats rlly cute??) anyways ily <3

taekookiesandcream - nikia, you !! are !! so !! wholesome !! and i absolutely love u for it,youre constantly brightening up my days with cute little tags and messages and honestly youre so adorable like thats some angelic shit right there ur rlly in m heart wow :((( ily <3

vanillalattaes - fahreen m chaotic evil 99 line partner in crime bitxch who i love so much!!! (thts ur new nickname i think its rlly catchy n chic js) i wld actually do anything for u like, u kno sis, i dont need to tell u, u kno how much ilove u,but u kno im gonna go and tell u anyway cause ur a whole fckn queen and u deserve the world, i hope ur always happy, n that if u ever arent it only lasts a lil while and that u can get back to smiling asap, ily <3

velvethoseok - kate you are one of the sweetest people i know, i can always count on u to make me smile n thats why ur so important, ur so positive and bright and youre just this friendly, approachable person, i feel like everyone of ur followers just wants to be ur pal, n i dont blame them, ur great n ily <3

[kulinaboys]

mel watches: Kingdom s3 ep 8

AS IM STARTING THIS EPISODE I WOULD LIKE TO ASK A VERY SIMPLE QUESTION

WHEN 👏 WILL 👏 THE 👏 KULINAS 👏 CATCH 👏 A 👏 FUCKING 👏 BREAK?? 👏👏👏

ok on to the rest of the episode as Alvey’s mom shows up and is about to......

FUCKING THROW HERSELF OFF A PARKING GARAGE??? AFTER TAKING LOTS OF PILLS??? This family is so fucking dysfunctional I am a ball of nerVES!!!

ohHPHEW THE GUARD SAW HER AND PULLED HER DOWN JUST AS SHE WAS ABOUT TO JUMP

Nate is overly attentive to Alvey’s emotions, probably because he wants to.. butter up a bit before he tells him about being gay. Alvey is learning about what happened to her mom, what she was doing. She clearly wanted to kill herself, but she asked for Alvey when she got in the hospital. 

Time to learn about Alvey’s relationship with his mom.... he only ever really talks about his dad.

I hate everything that’s going on with Christina and this new dude. Fuck I hate it.

Lisa telling Ryan about Alvey’s mom and where he’s at. But now Ryan is fighting with Lisa about Dom and dfuighfidg I hate. Ryan can you just. I like you for two minutes and then you make me hate you. DONT CALL ALVEY HDFGUGH

Annette Kulina is every bit as explosive as Alvey. And a BAD LIAR. BAD. LIAR. Holy shit. 

She’s clearly not happy with Alvey living so far away from her. It’s so tense between them but it’s clear that mental illness runs in the family and that’s where both Alvey and Jay have their problems from. 

IVE BEEN WATCHING THIS THING WITH LISA AND DOM AND IC ANT EVEN COMMENT ON IT BECAUSE IM SO FUCKING ANGRY AT HIM I HATE HIM LISA PLEASE CALL THE POLICE NO MATTER WHATIUFD HGFGFG

Christinaaaa get ouuuutt of that stupid mess :c this guy is so.... terribleeeeee.... I hate

the Kulinas in grandma Kulina’s house! She left Alvey a note??? I’m.. I can’t. :c 

Nate is so attentive!!! and nervous!!! 

Usch, Alvey :( that must not be fun, finding a note from your mom and she’s still alive?... 

Ryan and Dom....  I fucking hate Ron so much. I hate him. I hate. hatehatehatehatehathahdgfg deg dgh He’s constantly trying to spin the situation to make him seem like the good guy and he’s NOT AT ALL HE FUCKING SPIKED THE PROTEIN POWDER WITH DRUGS

Lisa calling Alvey.. she’s nervous, clearly. 

ALVEY DONT CALL YOUR SON DISGUSTING. I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW. 

Why don’t we have more of these three just hanging out though??? Like I love them so much even though they’re assholes towards each other. Nate and JAY BOTH BEING ASSES TOWARDS THEIR DAD I LOVE. 

Man :c this is so hard to hear. And Nate again being so soft and attentive. It must be hard for Jay and Nate to hear this about their grandma even if they haven't spent time with her so much. Jay is CLEARLY affected because it’s all about death and wanting to die. 

DOM STOP TRYING TO FUCKING MESS SHIT UP RYAN IS LOYAL OK HES SO FUCKING LOYAL YOU CANT GET HIM TO TURN ON LISA OR ALVEY OK DFIUHGUGIH

I hate him so much I cant. Ryan please prove to me that you’re not into this fucking snake oil shit. I can’t. Please. PLEASE Ryan. Please. Please. PLEASE.

GOOD. THANK YOU. THANK YOU FUCKING RYAN FUCKING.

FUCK YOU DOM. FUCK YOU.

Jay and Nate talking about kidnapping Maja... For fun. But also because Jay needs his girl and Nate knows this. They’re drunk and talking about this, like, about Jay. JAy is so sad I’m crying. But they’re so good at being open with each other I love them...

Alvey and Christina talking on the phone about this... It’s both nice and a bit :c that they’re connecting again now. Himr eading her the note :c 

JAY GIVING BACK THE MORPHINE TO ALVEY IS SUCH A BIG STEP. Ugh.

[bumblegem]

wait shit there was something i forgot to touch on in one of the last replies about austin offering to explain to amelia whenever/if ever she was ready to hear it so sorry to start another new thread but i dont want to forget it dflgkjrtkhh

earlier on when she starts to let austin back into daliah’s life, she doesnt really entertain the thought of letting him explain bc she thinks she knows and also. theres a part of her that doesnt want to think there is another truth that would make what he did acceptable bc that could in turn mean she made the wrong choice removing daliah from his life. it was hard on daliah and she never wants it to come to that again.

but maybe months after allowing visits, they’re getting to be more frequent, for longer periods of time, they’ve gone from being supervised by her and his parents to him coming over to their new home (bc i imagine mel moved from the old house for. a lot of reasons), she finally takes him up on the offer. bc not only is daliah feeling better, happier with austin back in her life, but so is amelia? she missed him too?

not to digress but when they initially cut contact, it was hard to adjust to. amelia had never been in this alone, even when austin was not great at the dad thing. maybe there were times after cutting austin out where amelia would reach to her side where she’d normally be able to touch austin’s shoulder to pull his attention from work or a book to look at something daliah was doing. small things

maybe its a weekend, austin is staying late to read to daliah and put her to sleep. after she dozes off, mel catches him before he can leave. asks if they can talk, sits at the kitchen table. she thinks shes ready to hear his explanation.

and i cant say her understanding of austin is the same as kyle’s but she still knows him pretty fucking well. whether or not this shit happened, she can tell that what happened was real to at least austin. he probably doesnt have something to lean on, something he learned from s!mel that would carry over bc she’s way more private than f!mel. but who he was explaining this to her right then, compared to the austin she saw then, she could believe that yeah, maybe they were different. for real for real? who knows, but something changed and now it seems like its back.

tells him that she cant say she really, truly believes it but. it sounds a lot more genuine than just “stress.” thanks him for explaining it to her. its late, though, and she doesnt want to keep him too much longer so offers to walk him out. wait, fuck, ok but like. ive mentioned before the mel likes to give kisses and stuff, and i can see there being a time where she’d given daliah a kiss goodnight and a younger dal insisting that daddy needed one too. daddy insists otherwise but mel gives him a quick kiss on the cheek for daliah. it didnt happen often, but when she was in a good mood she would sometimes kiss him on the cheek goodnight if nothing but to bug him. except this time, here and now, before he can get in his car she stops him and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. its really just a wordless, “maybe we can get back to where we were” before wishing him a safe drive home

[deadmantalking117]

MEL

In my mid 30's I really started getting sick. All the time. So very sick. Up until now I was mostly ok. For the past 10 years since my diagnosis I was doing fine. But I had that Sword of Damocles hanging over my head. I had been told that I would die before I got to be 40. And there's 40.. right over there! And for the first time.. I'm really sick.. a lot. Deaths coming for me. So I did what you're supposed to do. When I got sick.. I had my Dr admit me into the hospital... that's where you go to die.. right? Some episodes were a few days.. some a few weeks. But they were many. Being fed thru a tube. IV tubes everywhere.. so many needles.. Part if my routine was walking the halls. To help recover.. it's very important to keep moving. The more you can force yourself to get up and move.. the faster you recover. It's pure Newtonian physics.. a body at rest stays at rest.. a body in motion stays in motion.. so get moving. Keep moving. Walking the halls is an ordeal. You need to bundle up all your tubes and IV's.. unplug the pumps. (They're battery backed up) and make sure you dont get tangled up and fall. But I put on my monster feet slippers and headed on out. Usually twice per day.. I would try to get 10 laps around the ward. Most times I barely noticed other people.. I'm in astonishing amounts of pain.. and focused on making the next lap. But I could see other rooms.. with other people. As I passed by one of these.. a little shell of a girl.. laying on her bed was being smacked on the back by nurses.. they had to do this several times a day to break up the phlegm in her lungs.. so she wouldn't drown. I had noticed her before.. another frequent flyer like me. This time she gave me a little smile and a weak wave. She's seen my laps.. and had started counting me. One day as I'm passing.. she called out.. "that's 6!" I stuck my head in to say a quick hello. And my entire life changed. Mel was a little waif of a girl. She was fighting a couple horrible diseases that were wasting her tiny little body.. she was terminal.. but hanging on hard.. at 19 years old.. she looked 10.. she was so frail she couldn't get out of bed... ever. I was 36-37 and facing my own mortality. But this girl never had any real life. At 19 .. She's never had a boyfriend.. or any friend.. She's been in hospital beds her entire life. Nurses were her only human contact, besides her parents. But they had to work to support their dying daughter.. so they couldn't be there a lot. I made it my mission to visit her as often as I could get out my own bed. Most days.. as I did my laps. I'd stick my head in the door.. say hi.. ask how she was doing.. always a weak little smile.. "still here" she'd joke. Thats 4! Or 5! As I hobbled past. One day when I stopped by she asked me if I wanted to come over tonight and watch a movie with her.. as a permanent guest.. she got a good t.v. and a vcr.. her mom would bring her movies. "So if you are bored and wanna come by my mom will bring me any movie I want". I have an amazing wife and family. My times in the hospital were made easier by their visits and support. I was never lonely. But this sweet dying wisp of a girl.. only had mom and dad.. and they were killing themselves working to keep her alive as long as they could. So. Movie night! I bundled up my tubes.. put on my monster feet slippers.. and headed over around 8. See.. the thing in hospitals is.. time is meaningless. 2 am.. just the same as 5pm. But mom left at 8 each night.. so she's free! Our first movie was a Ray Liotta comedy/drama called Article 99. If you wanna see a story about veterans care.. its great. A must watch. We gabbed throughout the film. Each making jokes about the movie.. or our actual lives. Or whatever.. I was stunned by how cheerful and funny she was. How could someone this ravaged be so upbeat? I remember when I left that first night.. I had this overpowering urge to give her a hug or something.. but that's impossible. She can't be touched ! The nurses had told me was written in stone.. she was so prone to infection that you had be sterilized before any contact. They had to undergo a whole routine just to treat her! The only reason I could sit with her was because we were already in the same environment.. and I didn't have anything contagious. I recall the time where I was in for a flare up. But I was also having sinus issues.. so her room was a no fly zone. When I could get up and walk.. I had to stand well back from her door and kinda yell in to her room. But she'd always have something to tell me. On days when I was too sick to get up from my bed.. we'd pass messages back and forth through the nurses.."she wants to know when you're coming by for movie night.. and what do want her mom to bring?" Tell her.." maybe tomorrow night.. ever seen Star Wars?" Things like that. Most days.. I was way too sick to get up. But I made a special effort to at least do a couple laps.. so I could say hi. She'd always update me with her "labs" her blood count.. oxygen levels.. what new drug they were going with now.. there was always a new drug. Basically let me know she still alive. I'd tell her about the family.. "Kat says hi.. she'll see you on her next visit" "kids are doing ok" things like that. This was over a time period of about 6 or 8 months..I was literally sick all the time. Most days.. I'd get up.. vomit uncontrollably for a while.. have an astonishingly painful bowel movement or 6. Try to get on with my day. Over and over I'd go back to the hospital.. 3 or 4 days usually.. couple weeks sometimes... one particular stretch of 35 days being fed thru a tube stands out. I was not a happy camper. But here was this dying girl.. who almost never got to go home. And she's better than me. It bothered her that she was happy I was sick... but it was cool that we could hang out. I remember when she confessed this.. she had a small whisper of a voice.. because of the years of damage from tubes and drains. She talked kinda like a deaf person talks. But very quietly.. a husky whisper. I can hear her even to this day.. 25 years later. Picture her laying in her bed.. She looked a bit like the actress Kate Micucci. Just a smaller wasted version. One day the nurse tells me that Mel is wanting me to stop by and visit.. she's doing really good. She also told me.. "You know she dresses up for you?" She would have the nurse comb her hair.. she even had her pretty nightgown set aside to wear when I was in the house. She had 3 or 4 different nightgowns to wear so she wouldn't always have to wear hospital gowns. But one was her favorite.. apparently she only wore it when I was there. Our total time together over this 6 or 8 month time span.. maybe a few hours total. 5 minutes here ... 10 minutes there.. it always had to be me that visited.. and I was in no shape.. and as soon as I could get up.. I was gone. We had a few movie nights. I did make her watch Star Wars.. she said she liked it.. but I remember that we always talked thru the movies.. so I don't think she even really watched it. She made me feel better.. first by motivating me to get up and walk.. but mostly by her relentlessly cheerful attitude. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you.. she was barely alive.. 19 years old.. but looked like a 10 year old who been hit by a bus. Yet there she lay.. smiling all the while. In her prettiest nightgown. One Sunday afternoon theres a knock on my door.. Kat was out shopping and I was sick on the couch watching the kiddies. I open it and there's 2 older people standing there.. GREAT.. church people.. I'm so not up for this.. I'm sick. But they weren't church people.. they were Mel's parents. MEL DIED YESTERDAY. They had gotten my address from one of the nurses.. she knew that I'd want to know. They told me how greatful they were to me. Mel loved me.. she talked about me all the time.. her mom told me she had the biggest crush on me.. if course I knew it.. but I'm choking back tears while these people I've never met tell me I was literally the only friend she ever had. She'd been born sick and wasn't expected to make it to puberty. But she stayed around for almost 20 years. Mom tells me that her numbers were always up when I was in the hospital. About how her friend Steve was back in and we're going watch such and such movie maybe tomorrow aftetnoon. About how they'd always wanted to meet me.. but she didn't want them to embarrass her in front of her friend! Dad was a butcher.. he offered to make my whole family a barbeque.. they wanted to do something for me. I was too sick to eat anything then.. but got their number and promised to call when I was up and around. I never did. Not long after Mel died. I quit going to the hospital. It wasn't her death.. it was a bunch of reasons.. mostly I felt like something had to change. But I'll tell you that story another time. Before they left my doorway.. I asked the one question I never even thought to ask Mel. I knew what diseases she had..I can't recall what they were.. some long medical thing that doesn't really do the disease justice.. like toxohistiplasmosis leukasemia. It's just a bunch of letters slapped together to try to explain the death of a beautiful young woman. Who gives a shit what you call it. I asked them.. " what is Mel short for anyways? I never asked her. Was it Melody? Or Melony?" Her name was Melissa I was her only friend for a very short period of time. And she absolutely changed my life. Her parents are likely long gone.. they appeared to be in their 60s back then.. they had no other children. Kathleen and I are probably the only people who know this person even exsisted.. even if only for brief moment in time. But she did exsist.. And she helped shape the course of my life.. simply because of who she was. She did exsist.. and I was her friend.

[bumblegem]

matt holding onto amelia’s arm when walking

“kyle has spent his whole life preparing for this fight. he’s the iron fist.” “and he will tell that to /anyone/ who will listen.” “i know him. deep down inside, he’s still just a kid looking for his family.”

[colleen], still about kyle looking for family, “and with me... with them*, he almost had it.” *[luke], amelia and matt.

[luke] matt and amelia taking the fucking metro

amelia steals a beer from a sleeping passenger 

amelia: “we have time to grab a drink? or three?”

AMELIA LOOKS SO EMBARRASSED BY MATT WALKING UP IN COSTUME. “there it is again”

kyle unlocks the door by being egged into a fight, tries to punch katya w/the iron fist and instead she leads him to punch & unlock the door instead. good job kyle. god damn it danny rand

mel is very not down for blowing up the building

kyle is inside the skeleton of a dragon, rad

okay last episode

mel coming around to blowing up the building and killing the hand bc of everything shes gone through in the past two days and bc of the risk to the people she loves awh my girl

“we just have to play close to the fire.” emily, proudly, “amelia /is/ the fire”

matt to amelia, “for whatever it’s worth, im glad you’re here”

followed by amelia’s incredulous “what?”

“circumstances could be better. but im just saying, im glad we found each other.” “im not hugging you” GOOD

gao telling kyle he’s trying to fulfill this prophecy to numb the pain of losing his family. yeah

“perhaps you have found your family.” said to kyle, referring to the three coming to rescue him. its true, but also like. unfortunate.

[luke] telling amelia she wont like the plan. next scene shows her descending in the elevator alone. yeah i dont think she liked that. “okay. don’t shoot.”

“look, i dont give a shit what you guys are doing down here in your... secret.. cave thing.” eloquent as always, i love jessica jones

“ever since you burst into my office my life has been one big kung fu party. i dont want to fight you. alone.” GOOD

AWH. mel going to help kyle up. “let’s go ironclad.” “its iron fist.” “i know.”

“yeah we got a plan, it involves bombs. (to kyle) you’re cool with bombs, right?” kyle looks at amelia like hes very uncool with bombs. “seriously?”

matt whispered something to kyle im so worried

maybe i dont want katya to be elektra bc i dont think theres any good left in her

UM AMELIA HOLDING UP AN ELEVATOR WITH HER OWN TWO HANDS. STRONG CHILD

“i’ve seen death.” “and you’re afraid of it. “not anymore! because you’ll be by my side, right where you belong.” awh? but yikes? is matt gonna “die”?

“im sorry, matthias. for all the pain i’ve caused along the way.” :(

matt told kyle to protect his city. awh. awh.

LITERALLY IM IN TEARS JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE IS COMING BACK TO THEIR PEOPLE, THEY’RE LOVED ONES AND KAREN AND FOGGY ARENT GOING TO GET THEIR PERSON BACK. HEY MATTHEW MURDOCK? IVE SAID IT BEFORE BUT FUCK YOU

THIS ISNT CROSSOVER TALK JUST ME BEING ACTUALLY MAD. I FORGOT WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO BE MAD AT MEDIA IVE BEEN SPOILED BY THE MCELROYS BUT FUCKING. FOGGY GAVE MATT HIS SUIT, ENCOURAGED HIM TO GO FIGHT THIS FIGHT BECAUSE HE BELIEVED AND TOLD KAREN THAT AFTER THIS FIGHT, HE BELIEVES THEY’LL GET THEIR MATT BACK. NO MORE DAREDEVIL. BUT THIS FIGHT TOOK HIM. THEY DONT GET THEIR MATT BACK. IM SO MAD. MATTHEW MURDOCK, FUCK YOU AGAIN

“try staying in touch, mel. you’ve got friends.”

“i know you, kyle. you are finding some way to beat yourself up about this.” yeah

ok he is alive. but still, one last FUCK YOU MATTHEW MURDOCK for the road