#ive been talking to walls bc its like everyone i normally talk to just doesnt have time for me

[rudy-sport]

I wanna draw

but no can draw.

[horrorofthebeast]

I have never heard of Words on Bathroom Walls before today but nonetheless I am very curious why it is bad

I forgof when i first watched it. But i think i woukd looking for movies with schizo characters that arent in a horror movie, i found Words onf Bathroom Walls and thought it was going to be good because it had such a good rating for the movie online...

It was a book made into a movie later. I havent read the book but i wanted to see what the author had to say about her but and its honestly so bad...

TLDR;

Author did not purposefully make this movie to help schizophrenic people. The character having schizophrenia was a choice of label for her since the character she was creating had hallucinations. She did very bad research and only talked to one actually schizophrenic person. Her history with mental illness is having anxiety.

But when i watched it, AND the trailer. Like they make it clear that they wanted to make schizophrenia cooler than what it is/what the think it is. For instant in the trailer than main character's actor say something like"most people just hear voices, but i see them" not saying thats not possible but they portray his voices and characters as people who help him and consol him (i think i cant remember much of that gimick) but thats besides the point. Its theyre making it like something so its interesting and fun to watch. That would be cool and all if every piece of media with schizophrenia that ive seen so far is very misinformed. I would only agree to the filmmaker's/author's decision to portray it like that is if 1. Schizophrenia has been already destigmatized by everyone, or a huge mass 2. They have schizophrenia themselves.

I think the person in charge of the film did not have schizophrenia bc the way they portray it just seems so fanciful and.... not close to my experience or what my friends from schizo therapy had experienced. It just doesnt happen in thay way...

Referring to the trailer again. Theres a part when he finally gets his diagnosis after a hallucination episode (???) And he defines schizophrenia as (i am quoting now): "i have schizophrenia, a chronic mental disorder allowing for visual and audio hallucinations. Never normal, the end." Im not sure if they cut out more information for the trailer but i will definately watch for this when i rewatch. But like... that shows how MISINFORMED and UNEDUCATED the people are who are making this. People seem to only think the definition for having schizophrenia is having audio and visual hallucinations, which yes, some of us have those. But they just say it like... thats it thats all u rlly need to know about it! Schizophrenic people are not affected by anything else bc thats all the illness is, hallucinations!!! So so far from the truth and it makes me sick.

Even if these people making these medias had no ill intention it just shows how much people will put little thought or think they know everything about a subject through their own learned knowledge and not talking people with schizophrenia.... its just a the circle that keeps asexually producing.... and if more media like this comes out, the more there is going to be misinformation about this in future media and in the minds of the people who watch and also do not know much about the disorder.

[yes-feratu]

🚫MINORS DNI🚫

maple said to post it, so here. fuck it.

so ive loved alan since i was like. 12 lol but my only ship for him was really only ever vb, but last yr maple and i made an au that has past! alan x matt and...now...i cant stop thinking about them....

so heres a little backstory for them ig?

- Alan's full name is Alan Jimenez, and hes Mexican American

- Hes like 5'5" (short king)

- Matt's full name is Mathieu Williams, and hes French Canadian

- Hes like 6'3" (tall king)

- In this au we made, Alan lost his mom and his dad was a real machismo (mexican brand™️ toxic masculinity) piece of shit, and Matt lost his dad and his mom wasnt mean but she was just....neglectful and overworked to try and support her and Matt, and bc of that they both ended up becoming naughty hooligan children and thats how they met

- Alan fell in love with Matt really early on in their friendship but hes always been really good at pushing his true feelings down

- They fuck regularly as a fwb situation and Alans okay w it because well. Matt fucks a lot but Alan is the only person that Matt goes back to and as long as hes that person in Matts life then hes fine and hes secure

- Alans actually only ever fucked Matt in his life but he acts like hes a super slut bc he doesnt wanna seem clingy and like their fwb situation means more to him than it should

- Alfred and Alan are frat bro homies basically and they met cause Alfred got a part time job working at the mechanic shop that Alan works at

- Then...one day Alfred's brother Matthew transfers to the uni that hr and Matt go to and Alfred's like hey! I actually know this guy that I can set u up w bro! And he sets up a date bw Matthew and Matt

- Alan's shit is rocked and he is extremely jealous because Matthew made Matt smile the first day they met and it literally took Alan 3 yrs in their friendship to get Matt to smile at him and HES GRRR HE HATES HATES HATES KILL KILL MATTHEW

- Basically he can tell that Matt really likes him and he starts getting really obnoxious trying to get Matt to pay attention to him and spend all his time saving his ass after he picked wreckless fights and not be with Matthew, but eventually Matt starta seeing that Alans being even morr obnoxious and twerpish more than usual and he tells him to cut his shit out

- Alan gets really hurt and hes kinda alienated himself from everyone in his jealousy and no one wants to hang w him cause hes being even more unpleasant to be around than he normally is, but when Matt tells him to cut his shit out hes finally like. Well I see I'm not wanted here, fuck it I'm just gonna run away

- Alans always felt like disaplearing one day and he always used to tell Matt about it but Matt always blew it off as stupid shit hed say when they were high

- Then one day Matt gets a call from Alfred and hes super frantic cause Alan told him he was skipping town and as soon as Alfred says that Alans gone Matt just hangs up cause HE KNOWS ALAN WOULD BE THE IDIOT DIP SHIT TO JUST FUCKING LEAVE

- He goes to the apartment they shared and he sees basically everythings intact except a few clothes of Alans are gone and hes obviously not there and he starts freaking out and looking around the city for him

- Matts panicking looking for him till the last bus has left and hes lost all hope of finding him but he tries going to one more skate park in the city just to see if maaaaybe hes there, ajd in the distance he can see a silhouette sitting near the wall and his heart leaps out of his chest

- He goes towards the figure and its Alan sitting looking at the floor and messing with his board and he looks sad and upset. he hears footstels coming towards him and he can see its matts workboots and hes starts talking mad shit like pfft what arr you doing here shouldnt you be worshipping your fuckimg boyfriend? and hes trying to cover it up but its obvious hes sniffling

- finally matt stands in front of him and alan looks up and matt looks LIVID. hes PISSED. he looks like someones abt to die. hes so upset his hands are shaking. and alan gulps cause hes guilty as shit as matt pulls him up and hes preparing to get punched in the face or something but then...he looks matt in the eyes when hes finally pulled to stand up and matts eyes are watering, and matt realizes how terrified hes been feeling and this whole time hes been thinking abt how much he needs alan and he realizes how much he loves him fkr him to be reacting this way

- then matt kisses the life out of him and then pulls away to whisper "dont go." into his ear

- then they go back to the apartment and they have fuckies

- the next day alan shows up to alfreds place and hes like. we worked it out. and hes covered in hickies

- he specifically wears a low cut v neck around matthew the next day so matthew can see with his stupid eyes that HE WON YOU LOSE IDIOT

anyways sorry if this was long i have brainworms 💗

[daaziscoolbesties]

[REPOST] MY 2K WORD COMMENTARY/ANALYSIS OF RANBOO’S LORE STREAM

‼️‼️This post contains lore spoilers from Ranboo’s 4/23 stream, “The Enderwalk Saga. Chapter 1: The Lessons”. If you haven’t seen that stream don’t read ahead unless you want spoilers‼️‼️

disclaimer: this isnt really an analysis as much as a bunch of commentary and half-baked theories.

-on the way to the mansion he was sort of talking to himself saying stuff like "i'm good i'm good" which m a y be a normal thing but also maybe it's not and it flew over our heads cause he talks to chats and donos like that so often

-again, this one may just be a normal thing but when he was climbing up the stairs in the mansion looking for foolish, he repeats some of his words like down to the exact same tone of voice and everything. 12:42,  "this mansion is way too big actually. this mansion is way too big actually." (why the repeated actually? seems odd to me but again it might just be a normal thing that i haven't picked up on). (right after) "okay okay lemme find him lemme find him" again repeated words in the e x a c t same tone.

-does everyone know about ranboo's silk touch hands ability thing? or was that just a techno and ranboo main character moment. bc if it was, how would foolish know that ranboo could pick up the full cake after it'd been partially eaten. unless everyone on the sever knows about that in which case this means nothing. but if they d o n t know... how would foolish know? ranboo wrote about it in the do not read book so maybe if it's not a publicly known thing maybe foolish got his hands on the book and read it??

-14:53-ish, they're talking about the war room and how it was for tubbo or whatever and ranboo says, and i quote "he prepares for lore but he's never gonna do it." now funny thing is at first i couldn't tell if he said "war" like in reference to the war room or "lore". but after playing the clip over and over i can say with ALMOST 100% certainty that he said lore. there is a definite L sound at the beginning of the word. which either means a) this was a slip up (doubtful bc he said later that there were no mistakes), b) he broke the fourth wall because they were supposed to be rping at that point, or c) i'm completely wrong and he said "war" which leads down an entire other road of possibilities

-15:17 "are you a book reader?" "*checks inventory for do not read book* uh yeah i'd say i'm a book reader-" dunno how i didn't catch this the first time I HATE THAT DAMN BOOK

-15:18 there's blue in his hotbar. where did he get the blue.

-16:40 "it's like a metaphor- i have two minds: i have my normal self, my normal little shift-dancing self, and then the builder one. the builder one is demanding. it's a very demanding mind." ranboo then lets out a weird sigh after this. i feel like what foolish was talking about was an indirect(?) parallel to ranboo in and out of enderwalk, there's how he normally is, trying to do best for others, and then there's enderwalk, meeting up with bad guys and "demanding" things (its very late as i write this i really don't know what i'm talking about)

-17:11 "you have your panic closet" i'm sorry his what now 😀 no but seriously how the hell did i miss some of these

-18:04 "you're asking me if i remember?" very funny ranboo thank you for making jokes in these trying times

-18:25 WHY DID HE GET OUT THE AXE WHEN STARING AT THE BEE

-19:38 why did foolish hold the grass block- most of these observations probably mean nothing but- h u h - is that- i'm too tired for this

-19:54 "i never properly thanked you for the deal you made with me" so foolish got something out of this deal, we're not sure if ranboo did. "the green cardboard box" again do you mean dream's house- but seriously the only people i can think of on the server that are associated with green are dream and sam. and i have no idea what cardboard box could be referring to.  foolish got a lime colored shulker from drista

-20:30 "we're supposed to only talk about it at a certain location" hmm now where would that be? panic room maybe? cause like usually after doing a big thing in the enderwalk state ranboo wakes up in the panic room so maybe?  the deal was that they only talk about it in his house

-21:52 how does ranboo receive(?) the lessons? like are they whispered to him in his mind or is he seeing them as words in front of him like we see? hmm

-"Lesson 14: If you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it." "gain a favor" don't you usually ask people for favors though? how does one "gain a favor"? anyways i'm pretty sure lesson 14 has to do with the deal foolish was talking about. (the deal explained because i now have info: at some point a bit ago foolish met up with ranboo and asked to make a deal, he'd gotten a shulker box from drista. the deal was that ranboo would have ownership of the box, it would be under his name but foolish rents/borrows it indefinitely. ranboo negotiated that if he took ownership of the box he would get a "war favor"  from foolish where if something happens that creates sides, ranboo can ask him a favor that could change his side. but why would foolish want ranboo to have ownership of the shulker you may ask? well i have an answer for you. a theory actually but still. basically since drista technically isn't supposed to give out shit on the server if someone where to have that stuff then they may get in trouble. foolish wants to be able to use the shulker but if it gets found he doesn't want to get in trouble, so he can blame it on ranboo seeing as it's under his name.)

-22:16-ish "i still have this from when you *can't understand whats said here*" well i guess that sort of explains why he had the grass block? idk man (info update: he had the grass block from when ranboo threw it at him telling him to calm down like what ghostbur does with blue)

-31:35 "i figured out how to cause it" how to cause the enderwalk state

-38:30 "ninety three lessons" I STILL DONT KNOW WHY HE KEPT SAYING NINETY THREE AND NOT NINETY FOUR AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY LMAO

-39:01 "it's all for the greater good" okay well when are you gonna start thinking about yourself and not everyone else for once huh. self care bitch.

-40:31 he started holding the axe when he was looking at sam- gonna say it i really don't like that axe ahahah- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE THE AXE IS NAMED "axe of ender" I DONT LIKE THAT I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL

-41:53 is there something?? physically keeping him from telling sam??? or maybe it's sort of like his enderwalk state taking control to make him shut the fuck up??? so many questions and approximately zero answers

-43:18 ranboo raising his voice legitimately scares me 😀👍

-"Lesson 27: Do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down." showed up when he was thinking about and REMINISCING about the community house 👀👀

-"Lesson 53: Never fully trust anyone." showed up literally after he said that he thinks he can trust the other people on the server enough to tell them about what he did

-"Lesson 67: Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." this is different from the others because there doesn't seem to be at least a semi-direct connection to it? unless maybe at the time ranboo was near something he may have "helped with"? not sure about this one

-"Lesson 94: DO NOT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE" yeah yeah i get it i get it he's fucked up some shit in enderwalk i don't feel like analyzing this thanks

-OH OH NOTICE HOW HE SAYS "REMEMBERING" WHEN THE LESSONS SHOW UP. IMPLYING THAT THIS ISNT A NEW THING, ITS HAPPENED BEFORE AND NOW HES REMEMBERING IT. MAYBE HE WROTE DOWN THE LESSONS WHEN HE WAS IN ENDERWALK AND NOW THAT HES BEEN EXPERIMENTING ITS BEEN EASIER FOR HIM TO REMEMBER THOSE ENDERWALK MEMORIES

-okokok the experiments are that he's been e x p e r i m e n t i n g on how to purposefully induce the enderwalk state. and we know now that it wasn't from the pain of the water because on the stream afterwords he said that it's caused by the intense fear of something happening. and so the "side effects" of the experiments is that since he's in enderwalk more often(?) he starts remembering more things from it

-OH MY GOD WAIT "there is a reason sam, there's so many reasons, theres ninety three of them" (44:47) WHAT IF EVERY LESSON IS TIED TO A QUOTE UNQUOTE "reason" THAT RANBOO THINKS HES A BAD PERSON/NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP BUT HE SAYS NINETY THREE INSTEAD OF NINETY FOUR BECAUSE THE NINETY FOURTH LESSON DOESNT HAVE A REASON YET/HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT HAVING A REASON

-dude honestly the whole sam part hurts so much this man is scarily good at acting

-46:46 "i cant put you in the prison you wouldn't be able to see michael anymore" bestie that's the point he doesn't want to accidentally hurt michael or tubbo in the enderwalk state—

-okay but there's no way that sam couldn't tell that ranboo was at least TRYING to confess to something- i feel like he definitely knows more than he's letting on because usually like when people do bad shit or admit to doing bad shit he's like in Prison Guard Mode™️ (he literally cut off ponk's arm because he stole some keycards or something) and whatever and idk what he knows but he definitely knows something and is trying to protect ranboo. or he's trying to manipulate him or smth either one works—

-50:38 "you are a good person" "i am?" you can hear my heart shatter. "yes you are" "i don't think so sam" "i do, even if you don't" "i really don't think so" and there it goes again

-51:25 hello badboyhalo i see you to the left of ranboo

-52:44 "but then my curiosity got the best of me" curiosity killed the cat, bitch

-52:54 "there's ninety three, ninety four, ninety- theres so many reasons!" SEE!! NOT ONLY ARE THERE THAT MANY LESSONS THERE ARE REASONS THAT CORRESPOND IM S O SMART—

-52:56 "i don't want to remember anymore!" *quietly brings forth my theory that when ranboo loses a canon life his memory gets wiped*

-53:13 "ive opened pandora's box" isn't the prison?? literally called pandora's VAULT??? so this m a y be a stretch but i'm thinking that maybe this could be taken in the literal sense that he "opened" the prison and let dream out (the sirens at the end of quackity's stream confirm that dream is indeed out)

-53:42 mans just straight up walked through a ghost i—

-55:37 so are we just gonna ignore the eleventh page of the book? "he's alive, but hopefully soon dream won't be"??? alright nevermind it's most likely bc when tommy came back he recruited ranboo in his plan to kill dream

-55:47 notice how he writes "what am i?" as opposed to "who am i?" no elaboration here idk what it could be

-56:08 just so it's clear for anyone who doesn't know- he's wearing armor at this point, and i'm like 90% sure that when he wears his armor water can't hurt him. and i saw someone say somewhere that like with splash potions when thrown it turns into a gas-like thing? so again, it didn't hurt him, he didn't get hurt. he said in the chill stream that he wasn't comfortable making it where his character had to hurt himself to do that. the thing that causes the enderwalk isn't pain, it's intense and sudden emotions like fear and stress. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[kaonite]

Can we hear about your Misraaks headcanons pls?

hahahaaha ahah okay so this turned more into picking him apart rather than headcanons but i mixed them in there ::3 (im so sorry, i cannot be coherent at all and gushed profusely. i promise my writing is way different than the way i type this out.)

for some reason it wont let me add tags??? so i hope no one is upset by that!

-misraaks doesnt know how to be 'normal' per say, barring the fact he IS an alien(this goes with my super personal headcanon that the wolves just breed some ODD eliksni. 110% there’s something SUPER up with the wolves (or gentle weavers) as a whole. there's something in the ether turning the wolves into human simps) and is just a weird guy? Who 'turns their back' on their own without being a little fucking odd? i mean if i saw a almost 7ft tall lady and she dragged me away from my attempted suicide (thats some baggage already) and offered peace in a my cultures way id rethink my ideals too (theres more to it i know but humor me!) Also unlearning ALL you've been taught was rough and trying but he was a young mind and to be honest... that's probably for the best (no doubt sjur did use him against the wolves but i really feel their friendship was genuine, full of a lot of love and respect after he stopped being an angsty vandal with unresolved mommy issues)

-he puts on this show of being strong and unyielding but if he trusts you he just crumbles and is bare to the bone about everything. misraaks isn't afraid of being honest per say, he may come off brash but he's just telling it like it is... no sense in beating around the bush. he's not an asshole but being raised the way he was uh... some tact had be learned. 

-no no no it's not bc his mother may have been strict and terrifying to some degree so he has to be the strongest  or he feels he'll fail everyone he knows. so when someone breaks down his walls he's just a soft, sappy individual who just wants everyone to have a peaceful life together while trying to be strong for everyone else at his own mental expense. hes so passionate, charismatic and driven even with all the odds stacked against him, the fucking STRENGTH in that. (DREG STRENGTH GO! even tho he's not a dreg u get my meaning, everyone so far has deemed him as such) what a king! ❤ (praksis u call him foolish again i'll break every one of the generators in your lab)

-brings me to my next headcanon that the nightmare in the moon, horkis? Is his mother and all the teachings that she and others brought upon him as a child up until meeting sjur concentrated into one being. that if he doesn't bleed for the cause, die for the cause, then he has failed his people.  OOPS! IT'S ALL DEEP SEATED TRAUMA! 

-also headcanon she was the one to dock him? to make it extra good when he thinks back on her in the misraaks lore tab 

(I normally don't slander moms bc damn if anyone slandered my mom id throw hands but bungie gave me the scraps and im working with them and misraaks seemed like he had a pretty standard, though super strict, upbringing ::) )

-he appears haughty, self-assured and a bit cold though that's just how he projects himself... he's not actually that way? I mean, hes pretty calm and collected. he expresses a deep  loyalty and love for Sjur and cares for his fireteam immensely. He trusted his fireteam enough to take them to her resting place, how is that not vulnerability we otherwise don't really see? 

He'd throw down for his friends and loved ones because that's just how Eliksni ARE. kin is everything, even friends. he just has a different way of showing it. 

-misraaks... okay i have to say he's into poetry, or talking poetically. the way he speaks is almost... romantic (not in a bad or spicy way!) i just know that boy really SPEAKS in such an eloquent, thoughtful sense. there's a lot of meaning and love in his words. he doesn't just SAY things to fill the silence. every word has a meaning, a purpose. i love that about him. 

-okay maybe i headcanon his fireteam being all around goofballs with him at times of respite, softening out his sharp edges. making him loosen up and enjoy the little things in life rather than worrying about the bigger picture. (bungie where's that getting drunk with his fireteam lore tab? i would like to see it. you have it with the yw and crow... it's the least you could do for the misraaks stans...) i just feel its hard for him to sit and do nothing, just to fool around, be a "normal person" due to the fact his whole life up to his moment of wanting to create house light has been death and war. He was MADE for war. it'd be hard for him to adjust to a 'happier' existence without a little prodding

-he doesn't care about glory, or is doing what he does for selfish gain. he genuinely just wants to help, to create peace. so if anyone approached him with the kell of kells title he'd promptly tell them to shove it (sorry misraaks... you're in the same boat with the young wolf... you can't escape your destiny)

-can we talk about how much misraaks unlearned from sjur then YEARS later is with dusk, meets the young wolf (that annoying bastard of a guardian! :) ), they spare him then it seems like something unlocks in him. like we were the final catalyst to his dreams being real. no longer did he want to be canon fodder, or use his crew as such, he wanted to lead... to be better, to do better for his people along the guardians. maybe he could be better than just another solider dying for a cause they didn't even know at that point. he could be everything his kind rallied against and be GREATER than he was taught to be , not stepping on those deemed less than him. his MIND 

-can i just shoehorn something in real quick. I don't believe he'd practice docking after everything. I just can't see it and i always see him having trauma around docking so why would he wish that on others as a treatment under his kellship? It took him A LONG ASS TIME to unlearn how fucked up it is and how their society as whole is (ie. he literally fantasized about his mother docking him. how is that not absolutely insane to hear?)  also it'd be useless at this point, he'd need people at their prime, not missing two arms for an old, unnecessary dark practice. he doesn’t want people to fear him, if your people fear you are you truly a leader?

*cuts this ask open with a knife and lets loose a character interpretation more than headcanons* OOPS

am i projecting? maybe but bungie gave me crumbs and i am going to use them

im holding back a bunch of thoughts bc most of them center around much more personal headcanons bc this is my emotional support eliksni :') plus ive written so much already im pretty sure you all think im insane.

If anyone has anything to add feel free! Id love to hear it, you may have some ideas/headcanons/interpretations i didn't list or i never though of! of course... most of this is projecting, who doesn't do that to their fave?

and honestly, i am so open to talking about him in depth, if you want to, shoot me a message! I'll get to it! :3

[varusai]

who do you think is the most dateable dark matter thief?? i know you have an opinion and i need to hear it

sorry for the late response anon i honestly had to think abt this one for a few days lmao, but yeah i have opinions. below the cut bc fr i have opinions, all of them have major pros and cons (based on my characterization at least) and really i just have to break it down for u

Boros, everyones obvious first choice, but certainly not mine.

Pros: rich, tall, pretty, fun af, passionate, will kill for you np, give you anything you want, literally anything.

cons: has a god complex, doesnt respect you, not his number one priority at all, will forget about you once its not interesting for him anymore, probably argumentative/combative af, is very very smart and has no problem manipulating you in all the worst ways, is very entitled so he will never feel bad about anything, cant win arguments either bc he’ll want to settle it with combat, will get offended over little things just to argue bc he thinks thats fun

this is a relationship you’d get into if you literally have nothing to lose and dont care about your mental health. like hes hot but this shit would be toxic af and he will ruin your life and leave you to go fuck around and fight someone on the other side of the universe. this will be the best of times and the worst of times for you and you will never be the same afterward mentally or emotionally. the only way i would even consider it is if i lost my damn mind. The only way a relationship with him would ever work long term is if you were physically stronger than him and were capable of putting him in his place OR you were smart enough, suicidal enough, and interesting enough to him to engage in some psychological warfare and reject him if he asked you. Make him chase you for years, say yes, then decide that /he’s/ boring /you/ and leave him for another member of the squad to just destroy their established hierarchy and humble him to the point that he’s obsessed with you.

i dont have the energy for all that, so i’ll just smash and pass.

0/10 completely undateable

Geryuganshoop, also a probable second choice for many:

pros: cute, nice, tentacle alien (obviously), will respect you np, will also give you anything you want, not antagonistic at all, telepathic communication so no risk of miscommunication, emotionally intelligent and available, loyal to a fault,

cons: horrible boss/best friend that you will have to listen to him vent about for at least 3 hours a day, complete yes man as well so he will not tell boros no or cut him off and you will be stuck dealing with this no matter what, severely mentally ill and wont go to therapy bc he thinks hes handling it well, workaholic, needs a lot, and i mean A LOT of attention

this relationship would be great if not for boros lol. boros sabotages his social and romantic life but geryu has been friends with him too long to either cut him off or establish boundaries. he has no backbone (figuratively and literally) and wouldnt even consider it. he’ll ignore you in favor of his job too, to a massive degree. also i think that while the telepathic communication would be a major plus in most cases, here i feel like i’d have no less than 16 different, never before seen on earth, mental illnesses projected right into my brain just from being within a certain radius of him.

im already fucked up enough in that sense so pass unfortunately.

it would be a yes without boros in the picture tho lmao

so prob like 4/10 iffy datablillity, 1 level increase with each decade of therapy he gets tho so a lot of potential :D

Groribas, my fav girl:

pros: straightforward, realistic, very clear expectations, will not fuck around with you whatsoever like there is no mind games or anything here, will kill for you, rich and non materialistic so she’ll basically just let you do whatever with her money since she doesn t care about it, cares about her job but like...a normal amount. she absolutely has a good work/life balance, highly organized so she will not forget important dates, loyal af and will defend your honor under any circumstances, mean but in a funny way, a ton of fun to hang out with if you’re into that, no eyes so i dont have to worry abt eye contact ever

cons: extremely high expectations, like exhaustingly high, and not even a bit of flexibility there, if you dont meet the cut its a no, she’ll let you know and leave same day, she will also bully you, you need a thick skin and great sense of humor to survive, bad at feelings if you need emotional support???? go elsewhere, shes mega emotionally unavailable, will probably want to share bodies as a form of intimacy

overall its a solid 6.5/10 dateability for me i love the directness and no bs approach, we would def get along well. however, while im not sensitive, shes def gonna hit on some insecurities at some point and it will cause an argument lol. but i mean whatever. it happens. the body sharing would be an issue though, same reason i wouldnt be chill with having a symbiote despite being a major venom fucker. i need my space i cant deal with that. so thats a possible deal breaker if she couldnt get over that lol. and she wont, so we wouldnt work out. i wish it fuckin would tho😭😭😭 i would take whatever crumbs of attention she would be willing to give me

Melzalgald, my fav they/them bastard:

pros: amorphous and shapeshifting aka extremely attractive according to my taste in monsters, tall af but could chose to be a more reasonable survivable size lol, self contained and self-entertaining so they dont need a ton of attention to be happy, funny af, rich, will give you whatever you want and probably a bunch of shit you didnt know you wanted, very fun, built in friend group if you didnt already have friends, extremely emotionally intelligent and great people skills due to living in a collective, stupid af by choice, like some of em are very smart, but they dont claim that, will say fuck work and tell boros to eat shit to spend time with you, will kill for you as well, but only if you ask them to bc their first inclination is to just bother someone to death, very loyal, once they like you they like you really forever, it would take some pretty extreme circumstances to make them dislike you

cons: annoying af and its unavoidable, will talk over you, all of them at once will talk over you and do so loudly, no respect for personal space, they dont even know what that is, will probably accidentally manhandle you, they act stupid but arent so they can be manipulative, even if it isnt bad and they dont really mean to be, impulsive, forgetful of the needs of organic creatures so they will bother you at all hours of the day and night if you arent firm with boundaries, disgustingly extroverted and will bring randoms to your place without asking, or just...make new cluster members and you have to roll with it, will eat or absorb literally anything you have, will antagonize and bother you for fun, major jump scare risk since sometimes the forms are....fleshy

this ones hard for me like theyre hot af and i feel like they’d be super fun and good partners, but god....the noise. idk how long i could deal with that lol i dont like people in my house. it would drive me up the wall, but then again...i can simply kick them out when ive had enough. they arent projecting mental illness directly into my brain or requiring me to share a body sintelligento major plus. creepy thing/symbiote style hot monster without any of the invasiveness so tbh 8/10 dateability

some people date loud annoying extroverts who dont understand personal space that /arent/ rich, loyal, or emotionally intellegent so i’d be winning on a few different fronts lmao

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

ok ive been thinking about this for hours now and its keeping me from doing my dumb homework SO

ive been thinkin about todoiideku as one does and i keep trying to figure out who would fall for who first and who would be the first to realize theyre crushing on the others (because lets be real those things do Naught always go hand-in-hand)

so ive been thinking abt it and i think midoriya would get to the point of crushing on the others first because that boy just loves so intensely but also because of the fact that he loves so intensely, i dont think hed notice when the feelings took a dip into a more romantic nature so he's probably just “iida and todoroki are so strong and smart and brave......theyre gonna be great heroes im glad they can inspire me whilst also being my friends!!!!!”

iida is up next to start crushing but he probably has a similar problem to midoriya where he confuses the feelings for admiration for a while (cause like,,,,during the sports festival iida LITERALLY says ‘’i think youre a great hero and person which is why i wanna challenge you so i can better myself’’ to midoriya and then when they do the swimming thing/””endurance training”” where iida tells midoriya its funny how they became so close like. and then after the stain arc when todoroki is talking to iida and breaks thro to him abt how he and midoriya arent gonna leave him and he understands whats its like to have a narrow-minded mindset but iida cant let it take over his life to the point where it hurts him?? i cant remember if he says anything for sure in canon but theres no way iida doesnt look up to todoroki after that like bruh)

and then finally todoroki would be the last to have like actual romantic feelings for them cause we all know hes got walls protecting his walls when it comes to feelings (im gonna kill endevore) but eventually iida and midoriya’s kindness and determination and thoughtfulness will get through to him

however while hes the last to actually get romantic feelings, todoroki is the first to realize he has them bc hes exactly the type to notice when things change even the slightest bit (probably because growing up in an abusive household means you need to get a read for those things. again im gonna kill ende-) so when theres this tiny little shift in their dynamic and when todoroki realizes that how they make him feel has gotten a little more intense, hes immediately like “oh shit. oh fuck.”

since i sincerely doubt todoroki has had a crush before he probably tries to be subtle but completely fails and yaoyorozu ends up swooping in to save his disaster gay ass in an act of wlw/mlm solidarity

iida would be the next to realize im thinking bc even tho he has a similar problem to midoriya he doesnt love as intensely as generally as midoriya does so when he notices just How intense his admiration for todoroki and midoriya is, he’d probably realize “hmm.....thats probably more than admiration”

iida is (surprisingly i know) a disaster gay and he puts his entire foot in his mouth every time he tries to act normal around them from that point on poor guy. he calls tensei abt it one night in the mdist of a gay crisis and tensei helps him chill the fuck out thank u tensei

anyway midoriya still probably wouldnt realize until literally everyone else besides him has noticed his crush and they all slowly spell it out for him because “holy shit is he seriously unaware” anyway so midoriya is like “whys everyone being weird about me talking about how i wanna get my shoot style closer to iida’s moves like iida is so strong and determined and hes worked with his legs longer than i have so obviously he would know more than me abt tips and tricks....hes so smart and fast.....and strong.......and cool......and kind......and patient......uHHH ok well why are people being weird abt me talking about how happy i am that todoroki has opened up to us in the past year like it shows how brave he is and hes really shown off how kind and caring he is and how hard he tries in both socializing and hero work and academics and hes just so cool even when he doesnt have the emotionally distant exterior and hes so sweet and pateint and lets me ramble and.....oh shit”

since midoriya is the KING of disaster bi’s he immediately breaks something when he realizes because oof rush of feelings rush of feelings uh oh uh oh. so he goes to uraraka because “hey she recently got together with tsu yaoyorozu and jiro she probably knows a thing or two about crushes on multiple people” so he BRAGES into her fucking room and is like “URARAKA IM HAVING A CRISIS PLEASE HELP ME” to which she responds “oh fucking finally”

anyway idk how the confession scene would go but i think it would involve midoriya maiming his got damn self again and todoroki and iida being so stressed about that that they blurt out feelings it would probably be very messy but in the end sweet and i feel like their attitude abt it at least in the beginning is “this is special and lovely so lets just not put any label on it for now and just see how it goes” before eventually they all proudly say “yup these are my bfs i love them with my whole heart” (and eventually eventually “yup these are my husbands i love them with my whole heart hhhh)

anyway yeah i was just thinking about todoiideku because i dont think ive ever loved an ot3 ship so much before and im just soft i want my three favorite boys to be happy and so ive just been intensely picking at the dynamics and considering “who would be the poor fucker who pines for the longest” and that has lead to this

anyway hope u enjoyed this this got a lot longer than i thought it would be lol. uh stan todoiideku!!

[incorrectchoniberonicaswangs]

hey baby won't you look my way (i can be your new addiction)

Chapter 3: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS

ao3

Chapter Summary: There's a substitute teacher, Cheryl and Toni have a plan, and Betty is a "good fucking person."

Monday, 7:17 AM

gays united

hbicheryl: good morning gays

wannabett: CHERYL

hbicheryl: good morning gays, cousin betty

hbicheryl: happy?

wannabett: yes

hisshissmotherfucker: why the fuck are you texting us at this ungodly hour

hisshissmotherfucker: go back to sleep

nopeaz: school starts in less than an hour dipshit

hisshissmotherfucker: whatever

veroffica: cheryl, you're in a way better mood than normal. what happened?

hbicheryl: im offended! cant i just be in a good mood because i feel like it?

wannabett: no

hbicheryl: fine

hbicheryl: the history teacher is sick so we have a substitute

hisshissmotherfucker: FUCK YES

wannabett: im confused why is this a good thing??

spillthefogarTEA: oh betty

spillthefogarTEA: poor, sweet betty

nopeaz: substitutes are naive and cant control the class

nopeaz: so we can do whatever we want

wannabett: im not sure thats the best idea

spillthefogarTEA: choni and i have history first period with you, cooper

spillthefogarTEA: we'll show you what we mean

8:16 AM

hbicheryl + nopeaz

hbicheryl: this is even better than i thought

nopeaz: he looks so timid

hbicheryl: this is going to be so much fun

hbicheryl: lets begin phase one

8:19 AM

gays united

wannabett: is this cheryl and tonis master plan? to text out in the open?

jugheadalones: theyre cheryl and toni

wannabett: meaning??

jugheadalones: im sure theres more to it than that

goingtoheller: ^^tru

wannabett: i guess ill just have to wait and see

8:23 AM

gays united

wannabett: okay the sub is asking cheryl and toni to get off their phones

wannabett: theyre ignoring him ofc

wannabett: asdJFDJJSSSKKDXM

hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT HAPPENED

spillthefogarTEA: HE GRABBED TONIS PHONE RIGHT OUT OF HER HANDS SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING STARTLED

goingtoheller: LMAO

spillthefogarTEA: OH SHIT NOW HES READING CHONIS TEXTS FROM TONIS PHONE

wannabett: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS

veroffica: I'M WHEEZING

hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT DO THE TEXTS SAY

spillthefogarTEA: "maybe after this we can sneak in a quickie between classes"

spillthefogarTEA: "i could finger you up against the bathroom wall"

spillthefogarTEA: "or i could eat you out in the storage closet"

spillthefogarTEA: "of course... youd have to be quiet"

spillthefogarTEA: "do you think you can do that? can you be a good girl for me?"

wannabett: cheryl is as red as her hair

wannabett: toni looks like she wishes the earth would swallow her whole

goingtoheller: I'M DEAD.

veroffica: THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD

hbicheryl: GUYS STOP LAUGHING THIS ISNT FUNNY

goingtoheller: no, this is definitely funny.

hisshissmotherfucker: wait were the texts from toni or cheryl??

wannabett: he didnt say

goingtoheller: ooh, any theories? i'm still on team vers. cheryl, can you confirm anything?

hbicheryl: SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING

veroffica: i should hope so!

jugheadalones: ...i did NOT need to know this much about chonis sex life

wannabett: i guess the sub isnt as incompetent as you thought

spillthefogarTEA: lmao sucks to be you guys

spillthefogarTEA: oh shit i think hes looking at the notifications

spillthefogarTEA: "spill the... fogarty!" yep im done for youre all invited to my funeral except for choni bc they got us into this mess

wannabett: fangs' phones has been confiscated as well as cheryls in case you were wondering

wannabett: haha thats karma i guess

wannabett: fuck now he wants mine too why me??

veroffica: ...guys?

goingtoheller: that was the most exciting thing that i've witnessed secondhand in a WHILE.

hisshissmotherfucker: i hope nothing bad happened to fangs

hisshissmotherfucker: or toni or cheryl or betty

jugheadalones: i wonder whats going on there right now

veroffica: well, i don't have any classes with any of them for a while, so i won't be able to know what happened until they get their phones back.

hisshissmotherfucker: ^^

jugheadalones: ^^

goingtoheller: ^^

12:03 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: WE FINALLY GOT OUR PHONES BACK

hbicheryl: I CAN PRACTICALLY TASTE THE FREEDOM

nopeaz: now i just have to go live in a cave for a few years until everyone forgets about that debacle

spillthefogarTEA: thats not going to happen any time soon

goingtoheller: fangs is right, that was iconic.

veroffica: you two will never live that down.

jugheadalones: half of riverdale high is already speculating as to which one of you two sent the texts and which one of you received the texts

hisshissmotherfucker: cheryl, toni, care to make a statement?

hbicheryl: no

nopeaz: fuck off

goingtoheller: well, at least they seem to be on the same page.

wannabett: can we talk about whats REALLY important now??

jugheadalones: and what would that be?

wannabett: ALL FOUR OF US GOT DETENTION!!

veroffica: can the substitute even do that?

spillthefogarTEA: yeah, he wrote us all up for "repeatedly disobeying a clear set of instructions"

nopeaz: at least its only for today

wannabett: ive never gotten detention before! how the hell am i going to explain this to my mom??

hbicheryl: lmao cant relate

wannabett: im a good fucking person i dont deserve this

12:39 PM

gays united

hisshissmotherfucker: wait cheryl and toni what was your master plan?

hbicheryl: oh we were just going to sext for a while and then make out in the back of the classroom

veroffica: ...that was a letdown.

goingtoheller: yeah, i expected better.

nopeaz: we were horny when we came up with that plan okay

jugheadalones: now THAT makes more sense

spillthefogarTEA: tbh im still kinda disappointed tho

1:22 PM

gays united

wannabett: SHIT

veroffica: what's wrong, betts?

wannabett: i think the school told my mom about the detention :(

goingtoheller: what makes you think that?

wannabett: shes called me four times today already

wannabett: ive been ignoring her but knowing my mom she'll probably just show up here to talk to me

jugheadalones: she wouldnt do that

wannabett: you underestimate her

veroffica: b is right. her mom is just crazy enough to do that.

1:40 PM

gays united

wannabett: huh i wonder why the secretary is calling me to the office

wannabett: it couldnt be my mom, could it??

wannabett: who wants to bet against me?

goingtoheller: a, congrats on finally living up to your screen name!

goingtoheller: b, there is no way that i'm going to be stupid enough to take you up on that.

jugheadalones: i'll bite.

jugheadalones: 20 bucks it isnt her

wannabett: youre on jug

wannabett: be prepared to lose $20

1:55 PM

gays united

wannabett: angry-mama-cooper.jpeg

wannabett: fork over the money jones

jugheadalones: ...fuck

jugheadalones: this is what i get for believing that alice cooper wouldnt be that petty??

hbicheryl: no this is what you get for being a fool

wannabett: same thing

spillthefogarTEA: okay im sure that im going to regret asking this, but what did mrs cooper want that took fifteen minutes to talk about?

wannabett: the usual

wannabett: "youre disappointing your family, you need to do better, you dont want to end up like polly," etc.

veroffica: i'm sorry, b. :(

wannabett: it isnt your fault v

veroffica: i know, but your mom clearly isn't sorry for the crazy expectations she puts on you because polly didn’t turn out the way she wanted, so somebody has to be. and i want that somebody to be me.

wannabett: you really think so?

veroffica: i know so.

spillthefogarTEA: thats so sweet

hbicheryl: and REALLY gay

spillthefogarTEA: ofc

veroffica: *bi, and betty and i are just best friends.

wannabett: ^^^

spillthefogarTEA: sweets and i are best friends and if i had said something like that to him yall wouldnt think that we were just being friends

wannabett: thats bc you and sweet pea are super gay for each other

hisshissmotherfucker: false

spillthefogarTEA: ...you dont think that im hot? :(

hisshissmotherfucker: no i think that youre the hottest person in the whole damn universe

hisshissmotherfucker: but that doesnt mean that im in love with you

hbicheryl: babe do you see this shit??

nopeaz: i see it all right

hbicheryl: im so glad that we arent like that

nopeaz: me too :)

hbicheryl: i love you toni

nopeaz: i love you too cher

veroffica: awww, that was adorable.

veroffica: but also: what will it take to convince all of you that betty and i are telling the truth??

goingtoheller: nothing, ever. you are both so clearly whipped it isn't even funny.

jugheadalones: like cheryl and toni levels of whipped

hbicheryl: except you two arent even dating!!

nopeaz: the same goes for sweets and fangs too

hisshissmotherfucker: whatever

spillthefogarTEA: ^^^

wannabett: ^^^

veroffica: ^^^

jugheadalones: why do i even try anymore

2:29 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: well its time to go into the hellish pit the school calls detention

wannabett: i wonder if theyll make us do manual labor

spillthefogarTEA: sweet pea practically lived in detention at southside high, ask him

hisshissmotherfucker: thats true

hisshissmotherfucker: and yes sometimes they do make you do some janitorial work around the school

hbicheryl: oh my fucking god im going to die

jugheadalones: stop being so extra cheryl

goingtoheller: no never stop being extra cheryl it is the best part of this chat

hbicheryl: for your information hobo i will never ever stop being dramatic and if you say that again i will fight you

hbicheryl: and dont worry keller i wont change

nopeaz: thats my girl!!

hisshissmotherfucker: as i was saying

hisshissmotherfucker: youll probably just sit in a room and do your homework

hbicheryl: thats even worse

2:34 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: THEY WANT TO TAKE OUR PHONES

hbicheryl: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US ABOUT THIS SWEET PEA

hisshissmotherfucker: i thought it would be a nice surprise

nopeaz: screw you

hbicheryl: IF I NEVER GET OUT OF HERE TELL MY MOTHER THAT SHES AN AWFUL BITCH AND THAT I HATE HER

veroffica: sure thing, blossom.

3:00 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: MY PHONE IS BACK I LOVE IT SO MUCH THIS SCHOOL IS SHIT AND DETENTION FUCKING SUCKS

goingtoheller: that's a lot of moods.

jugheadalones: ^^

veroffica: "that's a lot of moods" is just cheryl's personality in a nutshell.

wannabett: tru

hisshissmotherfucker: tru

nopeaz: tru

hbicheryl: tru

Notes: Writing choni's sexts was the best part of this chapter, honestly. Also, I noticed that I refer to Cheryl and Toni as 'choni' an awful lot, which probably has direct correlation to my laziness. I know that this chapter has a lot less to do with the overlying plot, and that's because I'm trying something different. Tell me if you like it this way or if you want me to go back to more plot-heavy chapters.

[jungblue]

Lol I’m actually scared to have sex or even do any penetrative masturbation. Which is okay. Actual sex is not something that’s gonna happen for a long time. I’m 20 and haven’t had a first kiss too 😂😂 I’m also scared to get drunk.

that’s okay. sex can seem scary. you being completely bare in front of someone when you’ve never done that is understandably nerve wracking. just take everything at your own pace and do what you’re comfortable with. as for the penetrative masturbation that’s totally your decision. i would say that there’s nothing to be scared of, but if it’s not something that you want to do then that’s perfectly fine! and eh getting drunk isn’t for everyone. it’s very easy to lose a handle on yourself if your overdo it. so it’s not something you need to do if you don’t want to!

Anonymous said: I just want to say you are a HUGE help from all this sex talk you are giving and that helps a lot coming from a virgin who doesn’t know a lot about sex but I would like to ask if it’s true for your first time that you would probably bleed and hurts a lot? or there just exaggerating from saying that so you wouldn’t lose your virginity at a young age?

i’m glad it can be a bit helpful! but as for your question, no it’s not supposed to be like that. if you’re properly aroused and there’s foreplay involved beforehand it shouldn’t be this life-ending pain that movies and stuff like to describe it as. it might be uncomfortable certainly bc most won’t be used to the stretch that’s going to happen, it’s nothing awful. as for the blood, i won’t say that there won’t be bleeding. personally i’ve had one incident where i bled during sex (and this was years into me being sexually active). the thing was i wasn’t hurting at all. like it felt good and i didn’t even notice until the guy said something. i was freaked out obviously bc it wasn’t my period, so i went to the doctor and they said that everything was fine. it was just being stretched a bit further than i’d usually been that did it. so you might experience bleeding. but the pain is definitely something that shouldn’t be fought through just bc you think that it’s how it’s supposed to feel bc it isn’t 

Anonymous said: This is kind of a funny sex story that I actually oddly feel comfortable telling you. Well, I had sex with my boyfriend and was very tired afterwards and really just didnt want to do anything okay? And I look up at him and tell him I have to pee and he laughs and we start talking about something until he remembers what I told him and I completely forgot until he literally pushed me out of the bed and said "go pee you beautiful human you!" 😂😂 -mognut anon

aww that’s really cute though! uh i hate the fact that you have to pee after sex. like the human anatomy is really fucking up my cuddle time lol

Anonymous said: ive had girls come up to me and tell me they had a lot of sex with a guy but didnt cum and i ask them if they masturbate and they dont? I feel its important to let girls kno exploring their bodies and knowing what they like helps them communicate the things they like during sex with their partners. I used to also believe that penises would magically make me cum but you really have to let the other person know what you like for them to hit that good!

yeah i think that letting yourself relax is a big part of being able to orgasm regardless of if you’re doing it yourself or actually having sex. which masturbating is the perfect practice for this bc you’re alone and there’s no pressure. you can learn so much about your body by masturbating concerning what you enjoy, to which you can then convey to your partner. i do think that it would be difficult to achieve an orgasm during sex in front of another person when you haven’t learned to relax and let it happen while you’re alone. not impossible of course, but it would certainly be easier if you already knew what you enjoyed beforehand

Anonymous said: i honestly have no idea why im even saying this but i have like,, a super high sexual drive and am constantly masturbating (ik tmi) and i read a whole lot of smut,, but when ive been given the chance to actually have sex, which has happened a couple of times,, i kinda, shut down?? idk if that makes any sense. i basically stop everything and tell them that i can't have sex with them and that kinda scares me,, like, am i broken or smth?

oh no please don’t think that about yourself! i promise that’s actually very normal. porn, smut, ect are all very contained. you experience that in your own privacy, which is completely different than opening yourself up to a person during sex. i promise that what you’re experiencing is completely fine. you don’t have to force yourself to be intimate with someone just bc you feel as though that’s what you should do. take your time and wait until you’re comfortable with the idea!

Anonymous said: omg i read through all the “sex” questions and omg i feel so much better about myself. i had a question though, i tried to finger myself once but it didn’t do anything it literally just felt like a tampon or a diva cup. what do i do? bc i’ve never been able to finish other than with like clit simulation

well most girls don’t get off from penetration alone actually, so the fact that you’ve only ever been able to get off from clitoral stimulation is completely normal and actually more common. it’s perfectly plausible that you just don’t enjoy self-penetration. but as a tip i used to also be this way until i started stimulating my gspot and that was how i eventually started reaching orgasms via penetration. you just have to rub against the front of your vaginal wall against the spot that a lot of people describe as uneven or ridgy. just make sure you’re decently aroused beforehand and experiment with different motions until it’s you find one that works for you!

Anonymous said: Honestly can u explain to me what squirting really is ?? Like i read it and i kinda know it but also abit lost about it !! Help

i mean i personally have never squirted, so the only info i have is also just from what you read online and stuff. and from those sources it’s usually just described as a combo of female ejaculate (it comes from some gland or something but i can’t remember) and urine. it’s usually happens when you stimulate the gspot

Anonymous said: hey! you’re so sweet to answer all these questions! i wanted to ask how exactly to shave down there. bc it like grows everywhere and i’m so scared to go anywhere with my razor lol 

Anonymous said: I've tried every trick for shaving, but I get so many ingrown hairs. Like my hair, even just on my legs, doesn't seem to be meant to be shaved. I like the shaved feeling but it's almost not worth the tons of ingrown hairs. The only way I can avoid them is using an electric razor, but of course that doesnt do a completely clean, smooth shave.

shaving can be tricky bc sometimes it seems you can follow all the steps that anyone tells you and the razor burn still happens. there are tons of youtube videos on this actually if you want to go look those up. but as a general run though lots of them will tell you to get a good razor (one with lots of blades. the more blades the smoother the shave and the less it catches the skin), shave in the direction of the hair follicle. also this is just from personal experience, but after you shave you might itch really badly down there. i know it’s tempting but don’t do it. you’re gonna be covered in razor bumps right after if you itch it. so just try to fight through that lol

Anonymous said: Honestly I think I started getting sexual urges pretty late bc I didn't start getting turned on until I was 17 and even then it was super hard, but I just figured out what worked for me. I'm a virgin now and only one person from my group of friends isn't and they're not pressuring me or anything but I just feel kind of left out you know? It just feels like a right of passage that everyone (and that one person) is experiencing except me. I'm going to Uni in 2019 and I'm kinda worried about it lol

i understand that there’s definitely a pressure to experience sex, especially when everyone around you is, but i promise it isn’t something that you should feel the need to rush into. everyone is different and goes at their own pace. sex changes nothing about who you are as a person. just do what makes you comfortable!

[spicydadshowdown]

@katieshirogane so here are some ideas for my dumb V-O-L-T-R-O-N AU ive been spit-balling for awhile, in no particular order (these are all subject to change/refinement... also i got a real nasty headache today so this is going to be pretty scatterbrained , sorry!)

So basically this is like…. an magic/modern AU lol…so…. here’s just a few things, more will be added on a later date.

Shiro runs a business that’s like … a rescue, rehabilitation, and relocation center for magic beings; both sentient and non-sentient (they only have room to take in small to medium sized monsters though). They primarily specialize in helping sentient beings who’ve lost their homes do to urbanization/ floods/ whatever and try to help them find new homes. Also on top of sheltering magical beings they also fight some nasty monsters. (Shiro specializes in exorcism, also he has space distortion powers.) 

Shiro’s shelter is like, this small little hole in the wall that used to be a flowershop. Shiro bought it and renovated it. im debating whether or not i should make it into a flower shop or like…. a candy store?? or somethin’….maybe a bakery actually... cuz u know they gotta make money somehow lol. (All the profit they make goes into keeping the shelter up and running. Also i think im gonna role with bakery tbh)

Lance and Hunk made Shiro cute little business cards for both the sanctuary/shelter and the bakery. i havent decided on the designs for them yet… lol… but if u scratch the logo on the cards (the ones for his sanctuary/shelter) a ‘video’ will play of Hunk and Lance being goofs while trying to advertise Shiro’s business…. its a mess.

They have a alien at the sanctuary, it kinda looks like a frog and shes really chubby and feathery and makes the grossest snorting sounds and drools alot, and Lance and Hunk love her alot... even if shes the size of a great dane and crushes them whenever she tries sitting on them. Her favorite person is Lance. She hangs out in the store (shes got a collar that makes her look like a giant mastiff so the costumers dont get spooked)

In the magical business you dont give out your full name to just anyone - giving out your name to certain magical creatures will give them power over you and its easier for them to curse you and well… make your life miserable in general. Especially if you’re human, so whenever someone asks for his name he gives him his nickname: Shiro....obviously,,, (The rest of the gang also follows this rule.)

Keith lives at the shop, he rents out the spare room in the basement Shiro always tells him he doesn’t need to pay him but Keith kind of shoves the money in his face because goddamn Takashi you are way too nice i’m not gonna freeload on you so just take my money.

Hunk works in the back making the pastries (everyone takes turns making the pastries but Hunk does it the most bc he likes doin it ), he tries his best to not get involved with any of Shiros magical guests. He doesnt want anything to with that nonsense bc magical beings are assholes and theyre super dangerous and he just wants to live a relatively normal life thank you very much. He’s also in college, working on getting his bachelors degree in Aerospace engineering - specifically astronautical engineering.

That being said whenever there are children at the shelter Hunk just... HAS to make them smile and tell them everything will be okay, even if they are magical beings and make him a bit nervous.

Hunk and Lance are great with kids, so whenever there’s a family at the shelter and the kids are feeling real down Hunk and Lance always brighten up their days. They teach them how to knit and stuff and play games with them, Hunk teaches them the wonders of science, ect. 

When Lance isnt at the shop/at school he spends his time in the ocean, perusing water dragon caves, talking to fish (mostly sharks), surfing, sometimes goes to underwater parties and hits on merpeople. He can take the form of a tiger shark and a tiger shark merman. (One time after drinking a lil too much he let it slip that he was human and was almost alive eaten by the party-goers.) Lance is in college... though im still not sure what hes studying...

Also one time Keith made a bet with Lance that if he was able to steal some treasure from a water dragons lair - not only would he give Lance one of his cool magical weapons he’d also (metaphorically) kiss his ass for an entire month. So, not only did Lance bring home some Sweet Dragon Gold and gems he also brought home a fucking dragons’ tooth (that he punched out of the dragons mouth. Like, the thing was HUGE - it was half the size of Lance.) Keith....didnt actually think hed do it.... it was a joke....it was a joke.... now Lance will never let him live it down, his life will no longer know peace. 

Keith has a moderate sized collection of magical weapons - most of which he’s won at this underground arena Pidge and him go to once a week (its a secret, not even Shiro knows). Also his specialty is pyromancy... of course....

Pidge specializes in curses (mostly with removing them, but she can make some nasty ones too) and magic involving plants. Also, if u need someone to get u through a tough magical barrier Pidge is ur girl. She’s also in college studying nanotechnology (specifically its application to spacecraft) (and/or robotics..... maybe.... nanorobotics....hmmm)

She’s always putting hexes on Keith and playing mean pranks on him like:

making a entire forest grow in his room, bonus swarm of locusts hidden underneath his blanket and inside his pillow.

making everything in his entire room rubbery and doughy, like your walking on goddamn playdough and everything he touches? Playdough.

Hiding giant basketball sized spiders in his closet, double bonus: have the spiders come out of the walls in fucking droves.

Bewitching him with an incorrigible appetite for peanut butter and peanut butter cookies... u name it

He does get back at Pidge though, ruthlessly. They actually have prank wars all the time. 

Im still trying to work out the relationship dynamics with the characters... all i know is that Pidge and Keith have.... uh, ,,,, a very physical relationship.......like, they’re not dating or anything, they just hook up ...alot.... MY AU MY RULES.

sooooo thats all i got for now bc im running out of steam fast...so ye... (Oh and also The Holts will be present in this au...still gotta work it out lol)