#ive been playing a lot of cities after work and I wanted to paint some little cars
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Cruising Ahead!! 🛻🚐🚙🤖
UFR comic anthology is Funded. 6 hours left to get a copy
#robot#mecha#watercolor#ufrcomic#ive been playing a lot of cities after work and I wanted to paint some little cars#kind of fighting with my materials and lukewarm with the results
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spare some facts about cillian? 👐 i think "retconning" ocs and making new ones is such a fascinating process
oh anon im so sorry i didnt see this wth !!! thank u so much for asking abt my mans ive been so excited to introduce him and talk abt him over the last couple days !
like i said before cillian is heavily inspired by my last hawke, emeraude, mainly in that they're both half elven. cillian is technically bethany & carver's half brother, and not related to leandra by blood. he was malcolm's first child with an antivan elf who ran away to ferelden (disclaimer i havent played mota and im a lil rusty on the lore so this could still be up for changing lol). she died when cillian was about 2, so he doesn't remember her much and as far as he's concerned leandra is his real mother
all he has of his mother is an old green onyx pendant of hers which he wears under his clothes. he doesn't like letting people seeing it including his fam bc he doesn't want them to think they aren't "enough" for him if that makes sense
he's a rogue! tossing up between shadow & assassin but def another dual wielder like elspeth.
he's a very talented painter as well! though he doesn't do it a lot because after his father's death he became the main breadwinner and he felt obligated to put his energy into more practical stuff. so when he was doing crimes he mainly worked whatever capentry jobs he could find. after act 1 when he comes into the amell wealth he begins painting again.
he and carver both fought at ostagar, and cillian nearly died. the iconic red slash hawke usually has is, in cillian's case, a keloid scar from a darkspawn blade that nearly took his damn nose off :/ that, plus carver's death, plus just the horror of the blight itself and losing his home, TRULY traumatized tf out of him and when he does begin painting again, the blight is a strong inspiration for him. he finds a new appreciate for nature, flowers and plantlife, untainted by the blight. he also misses the forests of ferelden and it takes him a while to get acquainted with city life.
he's always had the lifelong nickname ciller like. like killer lol. it started innocently enough but when he got into his shadier line of work it really stuck. ironically varric is the ONLY person (with anders later) who doesn't use that name, because he notices straight away how uncomfortable and unhappy it makes him. varric just calls him hawke :)
he's very self conscious of his elven heritage. for most of his life he hides the tips of his ears under his hair, until about act 3 when he's accumulated enough power and cynicism confidence to not really gaf anymore.
he's primarily a blue!hawke, although it's a bit murky especially as he becomes more of a mythical figure to kirkwall and less of a person. he's also very reserved and likes hiding vulnerability behind humor. so with a few exceptions most of his friends think of him as a purple hawke, whereas the city sees him as red. at his core though, he's very gentle, thoughtful and selfless to a fault. he can be a complete pushover and really doesn't know how to say no to people, because he's so desperate for love and approval and acceptance. being a half-brother and also being half elven has always made him feel a bit like an outsider everywhere he went, and he compensates by doing the MOST for people who arguably dont deserve it.
speaking of that, cillian is an anders-mancer like i said the other day. after the chantry mess cillian is so broken up over it, but he forgives anders anyway and continues to protect him. he does that by lying and telling everybody that he killed anders so that nobody will look for him. varric and isabela are the only two who know the truth, and subsequently the name "ciller" inevitably sticks even though its. literally not true :(
sorry this was so lengthy but i have so much to say abt him and im thankful that you asked! i havent played da2 in years and this is actually gonna be my first full replay, so if there are any lore issues i'll get around to adjusting them eventually
#oc: cillian#TY FOR ASKING MWAH#honestly the whole half elven thing was inspired by me resenting the way leandra treats hawke in a lot of dialogue#i appreciate her as a complicated character and i dont wanna condemn her as a bad mother or anything but idk i sensed a lot of resentment?#so the 'bastard' narrative kinda makes sense for me even though there's still a lot of love between all of them#it also adds for extra angst that hawke loses two mothers. god. whyd i do this hhhhhhh#rapidly realizing over the last two days how absolutely tragic all my da ocs are#i hope the misery opportunities in da4 are just as lucrative
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underrated stevetony fics rec list (P1)
i feel like a lot of really good stevetony fics get swept under the rug because this is such a big fandom and sometimes people miss out on quality content?? so this is a rec list of some of the stevetony fics i feel like everybody should have read/ be reading
Edit (31.12.2020): this got very long (i had almost 50 fics on my list, so ive decided to split this list into two parts. part 2 will be out soon!!)
Edit (20.02.2021): part 2 is out now!!
//
picture me in the trees: @ifmywishescametrue
Tony and Steve were childhood friends that almost became more, but Tony moved and they lost their chance. Thirteen years later, a chance meeting brings Tony back into Steve's life.
Free: @iwanttopizzamanyou
"Steve reads, and the words dance in front of his eyes, because while this used to be his dream, what he wanted, all he can think about is how this Hell will soon become his full time life."
Steve discovers fame, with fans waiting for him in the lobby and girls passing him their numbers after the shows. It used to be what he wanted, he supposes. Except his future managers keep asking more and more from him, and he's not sure his old life will survive. Tony is ready to help, and compromise, but Steve maybe isn't anymore.
making it work: @/ironarm
“Just tell him you don’t want to see him anymore,” Clint replies, finishing the end of his burger and starting to crumple up the wrapper, “It’s not like you love him or anything.”
“Clint, if I thought I could get rid of him about a week ago, I would have. But for some fucked up reason, I can’t lie to him. It’s like, I see those baby blue eyes, and bam. Whatever barrier that I built up from childhood trauma is gone.”
Clint chokes on the last piece of his burger, almost resisting the urge to smack Tony on the side of his head.
Tony was a fucking idiot.
Boys Like Us: @naferty
The video had been a mistake. One of the biggest mistakes he had ever done in his life, and considering Tony Stark had done a bunch of shit in his younger years, and even older years, that was saying something.
It was just that none of those things were as embarrassing as that video.
He blamed Clint for everything
Stained Fingertips: @thesoundofnat
“I don’t really believe in magic,” he said, clearing his throat. “But I’m almost certain you’re a goddamn wizard, Steve Rogers.”
Steve would remember those words for the rest of his life.
(Or, Steve is maybe slightly obsessed with drawing Tony. Not that Tony minds.)
Inhale, Ex-Sail: @summerpipedream
"Rich pirates decked out in top-of-the-line black market gear,” grumbled Tony, ”why don’t I have the budget to make those again?’
Rhodey inched back so that he and Tony were back-to-back. “We’re apparently law abiding citizens now, which means having to pay taxes.”
Tony scowled. “Urg, right. Remind me why I wanted to do that again?”
Rhodey rolled his eyes. “What was it you called him last time? Your sweet tart? Your apple pie in the sky? The wind beneath your wings? Hopefully he’ll fly here fast enough so we don’t get killed. Or worse, mugged.”
Tony Stark Bingo K1 - AU: Steampunk
As Constant As A Star: @atsadi
The Swan Princess AU
As young children, Prince Anthony and Princess Natasha of neighboring Midgardian kingdoms are betrothed, and spend their summers together every year until they are wed. Tony adores his headstrong friend Nat: it’s her scowly little companion Steve he’s not thrilled about at first. But soon Steve goes from being a thorn in Tony’s side to being his dearest friend – and much, much more than that. Despite Steve feeling the same way about Tony, the pair still dance around each other for years as Steve struggles to accept his feelings for another man: especially one already betrothed to another. Not to mention that Tony is a prince, and Steve is nothing but a squire.
But before they can make peace, Tony is kidnapped and dragged into the beginnings of another conflict in the nearby magical kingdom of Asgard – he really hates magic. With his potential usefulness diminishing by the day, Tony races to escape even as Steve, Natasha, and their friends race to find him and bring him home.
And—just to make matters worse—Tony has been trapped by a powerful spell and turned into a swan, of all creatures. He really, really hates magic.
Always Yours: @hollyjollyhope
Getting kidnapped is normal for them, at this point. But there's nothing normal about this.
And suddenly, Tony has a choice to make.
Oxeye Daisy (patience): @s-horne
“You make me want things I can’t have.”
Steve startled at the voice from behind him and turned around to see Tony standing in the kitchen doorway. He stared straight at Tony for a long moment. The room was quiet, time stretching out in a thick and uncomfortable silence as neither man dare to move nor opened his mouth to speak first.
White Clover (a promise): @s-horne
“Hey, sweetheart.”
Tony lifted his head as he tried to focus on Steve’s voice. When he managed to open his eyes and blink a bit of the blurriness away, he was rewarded with a gentle smile being shone down at him.
“There you are,” Steve said. “Was worried I was going to have to talk to myself.”
Though his tone was light, Tony knew what he meant. It was no secret that Tony was physically weaker and a hell of a lot more human than Steve was and was therefore struggling more with the lack of regular nourishment that came with being held hostage.
“Course not,” Tony said back, voice hoarse but plastering a smile on his face all the same. His head was pounding and his eyes couldn't stay open. “Would I ever do that to you? You’d never get a sensible answer.”
Acta non verba: @firebrands
unapologetic fluff about two idiots who can barely keep it together with how hard they're crushing on each other
or:
tony has to help steve with math + a halloween party = a good time for everyone, eventually
you take me higher than the rest (everybody else is second best): @firebrands
tumblr fill for adi & anthonydarling, who asked for "'Prank' war, but the kind to see who can make the other blush the most in public" from this prompt list
Adjacent, Against, Upon: @firebrands
A political AU!
Steve Rogers is running as the Mayor of somewhere, America. Tony Stark, his campaign manager, deals with a candidate who isn’t interested in lying, and just wants to do good by these citizens, god damn it.
song of unrest: @omg-just-peachy
How was Steve supposed to reconcile all of this? The way he looked so different but still felt so much the same? It made Steve’s head spin. He knows he shouldn’t care so much, that he is what he is, but he just wants to know.
Paint The Town Blue: @omg-just-peachy
Ten years since he’d seen or spoken to Tony Stark, ten years since they’d broken up to go away to school. And now this email. It could be his only chance to see Tony again.
Camelot: @weethreequarter
For one shining moment, there was Camelot.
In 2019, Karen Page meets Captain Steve Rogers to conduct an exclusive interview on his late husband, President Tony Stark.
In 2007, Steve meets Senator Tony Stark and falls in love.
he thinks he’s lancelot (but he’s more of a sir lamorak): @theotherwasdeath
Tony knows firsthand that violence isn’t funny. So why oh why does he think that the scene playing out in front of him, Steve and Victor Von Doom in a knock-out, drag-down fist fight, is absolutely hilarious?
wildflowers: @tinytonysnark
“So,” Steve begins, clapping his hands together, “the city of SHIELD is in debt. The big ups have sent for financial advisors, all the way from DC! They’re gonna take a look at the city’s spending and make some cuts.”
He squints at the camera against the morning sun shining through the courtyard, “I’m not that worried. Everyone here in the parks department is an important member of the team and absolutely needed.”
The camera swings towards the office where from the large glass window, Natasha can be seen picking up the ringing phone before immediately slamming it back down onto the receiver.
[A Parks and Rec AU]
trinkets of your affection: @starklysteve
Kissed him once for every year I loved him, Steve had written.
By that count, Steve owes him five more kisses now.
Tony traces the words, hands trembling, and tips back a shot of Howard's ancient whiskey. None of it burns anymore.
One day, he'll have lived more days without Steve than there are words in the diary.
For the first time since he'd woken with shrapnel in his chest, Tony fears the future.
----------
Or, five things Tony keeps to remember Steve by, and one thing Steve gives him to remember.
#adi's rec list#stevetony#superhusbands#steve rogers x tony stark#steve rogers/tony stark#steve x tony#steve/tony#underrated stevetony fics#this is part 1 of this rec list#part two will be out soon!!#im planning on doing this for other ships!!#so let me know if there's any ships you wanna see this for
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MARE. OH MY GOSH. HIIII ok i'm sorry if i'm interrupting anything but i have really hardly interacted with my lovely tumblr friends for SO long now and i WANT to change that because i miss you guys so much and i miss talking to you in particular a lot :'D so HI!!!!! how have you been doing lately what's up :] if you have anything at all to share i would love to hear it very much...
CALLI CALLI CALLI CALLI CALLI YOU ARE NOT INTERRUPTING ANYTHING I WOULD DROP EVERYTHING FOR U OMG HIIII!!!!!!!!! I MISSED YOU SM :')
hi hi hi okay uhhh fun life updates yes yes okay! well I'm multitasking playing Spider Solitaire, rewatching the Try Guys update video, writing cough syrup, and watching DougDoug play Peggle which are just about the four things that sum up my life at this point! today's been interesting but let me try to think of some nice things to update you on
okay okay so last Wednesday i think my school did this thing called senior sunrise where all the seniors went outside about an hour before school started and just. watched the sunrise together. and my friends baked a ton of stuff and someone in the school set up a speaker with a really nice playlist. i wore my ex's beanie for basically the entire time which was really meaningful to me and it was super fun. we couldn't really see the sunrise (and i went to colorado last month and let me tell you sunrises in my state are fucking ruined after seeing the beauty that is colorado ones). that was one of the more fun school things to happen though so i just wanted to share that
tomorrow my parents and i are going to another city in our area to look at a house! my brother is moving out but he's uh busy i think so we're going to do the house inspection thing on his behalf which i guess works? and then on wednesday i go on a one day trip to college tour somewhere ive NEVER been before so that's kind of exciting. and then day after i'm fingers crossed getting boba with friends. and then rest of this week is a lot of college applications and CS writing but i'm hoping i can hang out with my ex at some point or at least stop by where she works (she's still one of my close friends im just calling her my ex for continuity's sake)
i have no idea if you were online when i found out this stuff but i'm part of a system lol uhmm. listening to a lot of good music which is mostly adam lambert who is out of your genre range but like im obsessed with him also menlik zergabachew and a couple others. i want to paint my nails a kind of plum shade bc those are all the colors we have so i might do that later :DDD probably shouldn't tonight since i'm working but it might also be a positive trigger so not sure anyway that might happen
okay i feel like ive rambled a lot which is weird bc these past few days have been. SO unexciting. but its SO GOOD SEEING YOU!!!! I HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL <333 i hope the math hw went well and the death metal is treating you good and that the cat 5 sleepy girl catastrophes are moving down to cat 3. and that you are happy :]
#nightmare.ask#SRRY IM JUST. SAYING SHIT. LMK HOW UR DOING#calli tag <3#this inbox is literally free reign for u come in here whenever idc
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Blue Dream VII
Pairing: Iris West x Barry Alen
Rating: E
Chapter Word Count: 9, 034
Summary: A series of sporadic dates between Iris and Barry turn into something more, a story in its own making.
Chapter I: Primetime
Chapter II: It's Cool
Chapter III: Anything
Chapter IV: Comfortable
Chapter V: The Way
Chapter VI: Say Yes
Chapter VII: Brave; They fuck with the rain like a soundtrack behind them, like a song that swells and stretches, telling their story, but you're so brave; stone cold crazy for loving me; yeah, I'm amazed; i hope you make it out alive, a song that rises and rises, that sounds too good to be real, that might destroy you, but only in the best way. (Read below or on AO3 linked on the chapter title.)
Chapter VIII: Blue Dream
Brave
Broken hearts are made for two
One for me and one for you
Tell me have you heard the news
We are now in love
Fall break from school is scheduled during the last three days of the last week of October. Before she can take some time off, Iris has midterm articles to write and grade. Barry is busy testing DNA samples or whatever it is CSIs do so they don’t see each other for several days after he leaves her house the morning after Wally’s party.
On the Wednesday of Fall Break, the first day off, Iris lets herself sleep in until almost 10, and then she packs up her bag, stuffing a notebook, a couple of pens, and her laptop in, before dressing comfortably in a pair of dark leggings, and a white oversized CCU hoodie she stole from her brother. Throwing on a pair of white low-top Chuck Taylors, Iris heads out to Jitters. It’s a rainy day, and other than workers who’ve no choice, not many people are out. A storm is brewing for later in the night, the sky dark and cloudy, but for the moment, it’s just a steady rain that has Iris walking carefully to her car and driving a lot slower, thanking her lucky stars that she finds a parking spot right in front of the coffee shop.
Back in high school, especially once her dad had gotten her a used car during the beginning of senior year, Iris and Linda would come to Jitters to do homework or stare at the college boys who would come in. The coffee shop has expanded since then, buying the small antique store that had been next door and adding more seating and a bar that specializes in alcoholic coffee brews. It’s still one of Iris’s favorite places to work because now the manager is a young Black woman with wild curly hair always dyed in one bright color or another and a soft spot for mid to late 90s R & B female singers. The shop is comfortable, with couches and overstuffed chairs in mismatched browns and beiges and blues set up near the walls and windows and several tables, two- and four-tops, taking up the space in the middle. Two of the walls are exposed brick and the others are painted stark white and feature framed prints in wild colors. It’s changed since she was a child, but Iris likes to think that she’s changed with it, that as this integral part of Central City has grown and added light and color and comfort, so too has Iris.
Today, her plan is to outline at least two entire stories from interviews she’s completed over the last couple of weeks before she even thinks about leaving the coffee shop. She settles into one of her favorite spots, a soft navy armchair behind a small circular table. She sets up her laptop, her notebook with her notes, her pens, and once a waiter drops off her brown sugar latte and a chocolate muffin, she lets the sound of the rain, and the Erykah Badu playing on the speakers, get her into her work.
“Hey, beautiful.”
Iris looks up just as Barry stops beside her. She’s been at Jitters for just over three hours now, and her shoulders are cramped and she’s coffee high and hungry. The rain is still pounding down, so hard that it looks like it’s raining sideways, and Iris curses her inability to get any work done in her own home. Besides all that, she’s reeling. She’s just outlined a story of a man explaining the story of the woman he’d loved his entire life: from growing up together in a small city in North Carolina, to becoming best friends and de facto siblings when his parents died and her dad agreed to foster him; from not dating but seeming like it in high school, to falling for other people in college; from having other spouses and children to one night of passion before they found their way back to each other when she decided to leave her husband after his wife died. It was a ride from start to finish, such a roller coaster of feelings—of love and pain and joy and heartbreak—that make Iris feel a bit heavy with them, a little loopy with them.
Barry stands to the side of her, towering above her, in as simple an outfit as what she’s wearing, a pair of black joggers and a white sweatshirt. She’s startled that he's there because she figures that he should be at work, but her heart does tick up at the sight of him. That is, until she lets her eyes rake over his lean frame. He looks a little...down, like a physical manifestation of the story she’s just outlined. His hair is messier than usual and his eyes aren’t carrying their usual sparkle, in addition to the darkening bags that frame them. He’s also a little stubbly, his jaw covered in a fine layer of coarse hair, his pallor a bit ashen.
(Iris will also admit that she thinks he looks sort of, well, good, like this; but that’s neither here nor there and she feels terrible—and maybe a bit perverted—that she’s lusting after him when he’s obviously going through something.)
“Hey,” she responds softly, and she stands up to assess him further. He seems so much taller than her like this, when they’re both in sneakers. She hasn’t seen him since the morning after Wally’s party a week ago when he dropped her back off at her car after spending the night at her place. They’ve talked a bunch and FaceTimed once, but she’s missed him. She reaches up into his hair, rubbing at his scalp a little until his eyes close and he lets out a soft little moan. She keeps at it and then touches gingerly at his face, at some of the moles dotting his cheeks, at the stubble he’s grown. He reaches up to stop her, eyes still closed, and it startles her a little bit. She goes to pull her hand back, but then he holds on to her wrist to bring her hand down and presses a kiss to her knuckles.
She’s never seen him like this. He’s always so open and, maybe not happy, but never so melancholy. There is always a pep to his step, as her grandma used to say, a smile on his face that always said that he feels some sort of contentment in his life. And obviously, people are allowed to have days like this. But it does something to Iris, to see him this way. She wants to lash out at whoever has made him look like this, like he’s drowning in emotions that he can’t easily pull himself out of.
“Bear, you okay?”
He nods, a little woefully, and he catches her eyes again. She bites at her lip as she stares back at him and, on impulse, she leans up to kiss him. It’s just a little more than a peck, something to tell him that she’s there with him; but he takes it a step further, kissing her harder, biting at her lip enough that there’s more pain than she’s expecting. She moans at him and he pulls back, breathing labored.
“I’m sorry,” he speaks. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“It’s fine,” she says. “You didn’t hurt me. Well, a little, but I didn’t hate it.”
That gets a more real smile out of him, and he thumbs at her bottom lip. “Hmm, I guess my good girl is a little bad.”
Iris rolls her eyes and gives him a look, sobering for a minute. “Bear, what’s up? You okay?”
He doesn’t answer her question. Instead, he nods at her table and asks, “you get a lot of work done?”
She eyes him, wanting to ask again. But she knows how she is when she doesn’t want to talk about something and so she lets it go. For the moment.
“Yeah. Or, at least, I’ve done most of what I set out to do.”
He nods, casts his eyes out of the glass, looking at the rain for a moment, watching it fall in heavy sheets. Normally, Iris likes the rain. It’s soothing and she enjoys how it makes the world take a moment to slow down. When she was a little girl, her grandma (her dad’s mother who grew up somewhere at the bottom of Georgia) used to say that when it was raining, and particularly when it was storming, that the Lord was doing His work and that it was the time to be still. They’d have to sit quietly, usually with the TV and the lights off, and just be. And while life doesn’t allow her to drop everything because it’s started raining, there is always a hushed feeling that comes over her when it rains, something tranquil, but also a little turbulent, a little uncontrollable, quite like the very rain she’s reveling in.
“Wanna come over?” he wonders, voice unsure.
She nods readily. “Okay, yeah. Sure.”
He goes to return her mug and plate while she packs her bag back up. He meets her at the door, opening up a large umbrella and throwing an arm over her shoulder to lead her out into the rain. She walks with him past her own car as he takes her a short black away to where his Jeep is parked. He helps her into the Jeep first, watches as she tucks her bag under the seat, and then closes the door before walking around to the other side.
They ride to his house in silence. He lives far on the south side of town, a good twenty or so minutes from downtown if they hit the highway. Instead, he takes the streets, adding another ten minutes to their drive. Iris doesn’t mind; as she said, she likes the rain, and in this big Jeep, tires sluicing easily through the flooding roads in a way her car definitely can’t, she’s enjoying the ride. He had silently connected her phone to his car’s Bluetooth, so she took it to mean that the music choices were hers. She contemplates finding something that he might like, but she figures he likely wouldn’t even be paying much attention. So she decides on one of her slower playlists, ones with songs that dip and fade, that take listeners on a journey of highs and lows, and she lets it play. The lyrics tell too much, so i guess that i should mention; that i am in no condition; to put you in this position; i might fuck this up, although with the heavy weight on Barry’s shoulders right now, she can’t tell if she’s talking to him or vice versa.
He takes them past one of the major shopping districts in the city, past the Apple store and the Michael Kors shop and the one restaurant her dad took her to when she graduated college where pasta dishes run nearer to forty dollars. These shops, and the nicer mall and a couple business buildings that rise as tall as those downtown, lead into longer stretches of road where trees interspersed with beige or cream apartments begin to take up where businesses once stood. He turns into the familiar subdivision that she remembers; it’s a little older than some, which makes sense if his parents were able to buy and pay it off before they were gone. That also means that none of the houses are the same cookie-cutter versions that tend to make up most subdivisions these days, where houses are identical save for the color and the trim and what children’s toys litter the front yard.
He presses a button on his visor and the garage opens as he maneuvers the car so that he can back up into the driveway. He stays in the driveway, though, the music cutting out—but whatever the case, you're my favorite mistake; more than happy to make you—when he turns the ignition off. She waits for him to come around with his umbrella and he half picks her up to pull her out, holding on to her as he walks her through the garage.
She’s as quiet as he is, taking in her surroundings, trying to get a better sense of who he is by what he’s got going on in his house. There isn’t much in the garage; there are a bunch of boxes neatly stacked on one wall, a couple bicycles in another corner. There is a wall full of tools and a couple tables that have science looking tools on them, like a microscope and several bunsen burners and petri dishes, though nothing looks as if they’re currently being used.
He leads her through a door that opens up into the kitchen as he presses another button to close the garage. His house is as cute on the outside as it is on the inside, although she wonders how he might feel if she were to call it cute. The kitchen is large, done in white, gray, and green, with steel appliances, gray marble countertops, and the look of a place that doesn’t get a lot of use. They both stop to toe their shoes off right outside of the kitchen where a couple other pairs of Barry’s shoes lie. His living room is pretty big: a wide space that features a real stone fireplace as the focal point and a large screen television situated above it; a huge sectional in a slate gray with a few throw pillows; and a big square wooden coffee table. It’s masculine and clean without being gaudy or too bro and Iris wonders if he did this himself because even if she never knew her, she doubts a woman who loved flowers as much as his mother would decorate her living room this way.
The dark curtains on the windows are open wide and Iris can see the backyard but the rain coming down in sheets keep her from being able to make out much besides the patio with what looks like a grill and wicker furniture. Iris remembers being told that his dad had been a doctor and his mom some sort of university researcher and the house matches that.
Barry lets her hand go to tug his sweatshirt off, revealing a plain white t-shirt that rises up over his taut belly. She doesn’t avert her eyes, giving herself permission to track how the sweatpants hang off his slim hips and how he isn’t so much sculpted as he’s hard and tight, with just the beginnings of abs. He catches her staring and he smirks at her before dropping down in the corner of the couch, one leg spread out along the seats of the chair.
“Come here,” he tells her, and she moves toward him, sitting so that her back is pressed against that hard chest and his arms are wrapped around her. She grabs a hold of his forearm with both her hands and settles her head in the crook of his elbow. She’s surrounded by his scent, lemongrass and clean cotton, and for a while, the only sounds are his breathing and the pounding of the rain. He touches her, the hand she’s not holding on to stroking up and down her thigh. Her leggings are pretty thin and she feels his touch fully; if she concentrates enough, she can feel those beloved calluses on his hands. He rubs his hand towards the juncture of her thighs and then over her hip and then back again, and like always, his touch ignites something in her, even as she’s wondering how she might be able to help him out of whatever funk he’s found himself in.
“You ready to tell me what’s up?” she wonders a while later.
“Hmm,” he hums, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Not yet. Tell me about your day.”
She shifts so that she can look back at him, noting the way his eyes have darkened a touch, become grayer like the sky outside, and it’s different from the bright blue-green she remembers from the day of the festival or the wicked blue-gray they always are right before he pushes hard into her.
He blinks down at her and licks his lips slowly. It’s not an explicitly sexual act, even if her body thinks it looks that way, and Iris finds herself lost in it, in whatever he’s emanating. It’s erotic in that it’s intimate, a whirlwind of whatever hurt made him seek her out at Jitters, of whatever still lies unexplored between them, of the attraction that doesn’t ever seem to dissipate.
When she pulls herself out, she tells him, “I was working on a story today. One that made me feel a little bit like how you might be right now.”
“Yeah?”
Wanting to look at him more comfortably, she uses his pause so that she can turn around fully and seat herself on his lap, straddling him. His hands automatically go to her hips, one sliding inside the waist of her leggings so that he can touch her skin.
“Tell me about this story,” he requests. She knows that he’s asking so that he can think about something other than what’s on his mind, so she does, giving a little more than she would originally, working out how she might want to tell the story in her blog.
“It was a couple,” she starts, “that grew up together, in the country. They bonded by playing together in the lake, climbing trees, and playing pranks on each other. And then they start to grow up. Their swimming becomes fraught with tension, the bathing suits showing the same skin, but more, ya know, both of them recognizing the differences, cataloging them, thinking about them, remembering them. They don’t act on it, because they’re friends, and he doesn’t actually understand what it means, that he’s 13 and he keeps dreaming about her at night, waking up with a wet bed and a pounding heart. And then his parents die and her dad, who’s a do-gooder in the community and had been his parents’ best friend, takes him in. Now they’re siblings, but of course not. Regardless, it makes it all harder and odder because she sleeps right down the hall from him, their shared bathroom always smells like her, and he understands now, that he likes her smile and the way she speaks and the curves she seems to develop out of nowhere.”
Barry squeezes at her and she pauses as he asks, “And what about her? How does she feel about him?”
“Well he doesn’t know it, but she’s there too. At first she thinks that she’s just conflating it, confusing their friendship. Because she doesn’t laugh with anyone else like she does with him and she never has as much fun with anyone else as she does him and she never feels as comfortable with anyone else as she does him. He’s her best friend. But she sees him, one night, in his room where the door hasn’t fully closed and he’s, well, he’s masturbating, touching himself, eyes closed and moaning, and for the first time outside of the books she’s read, she feels something. And she knows it’s not just because she’s seen him naked because she’s kissed boys before, she’s felt them hard under her before, but something about this feels different for her.
“But she doesn’t act on it. And he doesn’t either, because remember, he only thinks this is one-sided. They graduate. They go to the same college. But their majors are different and their friends are different. She joins a sorority; he gets into a couple of clubs. Their paths separate, even if they still laugh and talk and be when they’re home for the holidays. Then she gets a boyfriend.”
“She never had a boyfriend before this?” Barry questions.
Iris shrugs. “Sure. But it was high school and the beginning of college. They were mostly hookups that didn’t last. This guy is serious. He’s a couple years older, got his own place, and eventually she moves in with him. Heartbroken, he gets a girlfriend too, one of her friends. That doesn’t last long because she figures out that he’s a little bit in love with the main girl, and then he moves on, to someone sweet, someone who’s been not so subtly hinting that she wants to go out with him.”
Barry seems to be engrossed now. She can’t say that the dark look he was sporting is completely gone, but she can see that he’s not as deep in it, interested in the story she’s weaving.
“They go on to marry these people, even if their hearts are not fully in it. His wife has a kid first, her baby comes next. And meanwhile, they’re still friends. Her dad is still his guardian, so to speak; they are together for whatever holidays they don’t spend with their spouses’ families. They still laugh and talk and be. They still look a little too long and want a little too much.
It comes to a head one Christmas. The gods or fate or just some movement on their parts mean that they both go home to her dad’s house with their spouses and children coming in the next day. But her dad is called in to work so they order take out and watch movies in front of a fire. And they laugh and they talk...and they hug and they kiss and they…
“Be?” Barry tries, a tiny little smile on his face.
She matches it. “Yeah. And it’s beautiful, transcendent. But they’re married. To other people. With kids. So they vow to forget it, to never bring it up again. A couple of years pass. They don’t laugh as much, don’t talk as much. She’s having troubles in her marriage. He is too. He actually consults a divorce attorney because he thinks that it’s unfair to both him and his wife, to live like this. And then the wife dies in a car accident.”
“Oh damn,” he mutters.
“Right,” she agrees. “He’s wracked with grief and more than a little guilt, because he loved her but was never in love with her and she had no idea he was going to leave her.”
“What about her? The one he loves?”
“She’s there for him. She consoles him, cares for him, takes his kid when it gets too hard. Her husband doesn’t like it though. Thinks she’s doing too much, thinks that there’s another reason she’s over at his so much. Later, he learns that this wasn’t a new accusation, that even before she and her husband got married, the husband would question their closeness, would wonder what, if anything, had ever happened between them.
“Eventually she gets tired of it. Her kid is older, in their teens now, and she leaves her husband, packing her things and her kid’s too and moving back in with her dad for a while.”
“And what happens between them?” Barry wants to know.
“He and his son come over more. They hang out more, the four of them, going to dinner and to the movies and to the arcade together. And when their kids are gone, at sleepovers or game nights with their friends, they laugh again, talk again. Fall in love again.”
The ending is implied. Iris closes her eyes when she’s done, letting Barry continue to rub at her back, his fingers so so warm on her skin.
“It's a happy ending,” he says, eventually. “But getting there was a little...depressing.”
Iris chuckles softly, lightheaded again at having gone through that again. It likely didn’t make Barry feel any better, but she’ll take the win that it took his mind away from his own problems, if only for a little while.
“Yeah, it is,” she agrees. “But it reminds me that just because it’s not easy and just because it takes some time, it doesn’t mean that things aren’t worth it.”
He nods, slowly, thinking.
“What about things that are...easy? That come like breathing? That start as a simple dance and just, just keep going?”
She stares down at him and she knows that this is rhetorical. She can see the question in the depths of his eyes, feel it in his hands still kneading her flesh. It would be easy to retreat, to tell him that nothing is ever easy, even if the reality is that it is because they are, because they fall into each other so effortlessly, that she’s terrified. There are always hiccups, obstacles, and the fact that she can’t find any keeps her on edge, waiting, anticipating trouble she knows must be coming. She doesn’t want to believe it, wants to stand firm in them—stand firm in the lyrics she keeps hearing, if you decide to stay, know that there is no escape; there's no one here to save you—and she holds onto that as he asks,
“Don’t you think it’s worth it, Iris? Even if it’s this easy?”
She can’t speak, but his eyes are imploring her to answer. Pleading with her for a response. And however terrified Iris is, or however much Iris tells stories, she is not a liar. So she nods and whispers to him, “yes.”
Without waiting for her to say anything more, he kisses her. He squeezes at her waist and leans up to capture her mouth. She meets him with his same fervor and it’s different, this kiss. She knows the passion of his mouth when he’s high, the boldness when he’s teasing her. But this is new, this is fervor, warmth and agony and doubt and pleasure, all wrapped up together.
(Something also tells Iris that there is another word for this, that this is the part of the story where feelings would be laid on the table, where hearts would be splayed open and she’d say it, or he would, and the other would respond in kind, with declarations of adoration, of infatuation, yearning, of any other word that means what she can’t say yet.
But she feels it, what she’s wanting to say, what she thinks he is saying, in this kiss. It is slow and nasty, all tongue and mouth. Her eyes flutter closed at the feeling, at how he licks into her mouth and then sucks on her bottom lip, at how he licks against her tongue and then holds her face to bring her closer to him. She feels it, she feels it, she feels him…)
He stands, holding on to her, and she wraps her legs around his waist, tightening her arms around his neck as he carries her through the house. The kisses don’t stop, though they become shorter, more mouth now, and he takes her down a long hallway past several doors until he turns into one at the end of the hall. She makes a quick note of the light gray and burnt orange decor, the side tables holding books and knickknacks, the one window that spans nearly the entire wall, but she focuses most heavily on the king-sized bed on which he throws on her, the soft comforter half hanging off the bed.
Her clothes come off first, Barry pulling her sweatshirt over her head and yanking her pants over her hips. He comes out of his own clothes as she discards her underwear, and then he’s between her thighs again. But she wants something else first so she taps his shoulder to flip them and then she’s hovering above him.
She gives him a kiss, slow and sweet, and then she makes her way down his chest, kissing as she goes. She loves the feel of his skin against her lips, likes how his skin tastes as she presses tongue kisses on him. His belly clenches and unclenches under her ministrations, and by the time she’s looking back up at him from her position near his crotch, she can see the way his chest rises and falls with his heavy breathing.
She reaches for him, wrapping her fingers around his dick. It’s long like the rest of him, and thicker than she would have expected just looking at him. It’s a pretty dick, the base the same color as him, the head slightly pinker. It’s a little veiny, but the skin is smooth, and already he’s starting to leak. She lifts her eyes to find him watching her, his own gaze hooded. In her peripheral, she sees his hands grip the bed sheets and she revels in how she hasn’t even done anything and his control is starting to slip.
“Tell me what you want, Bear.”
She says the words softly, but Barry doesn’t miss the cheek that lies under it, if the slight smirk he gives her is any indication.
“Your mouth,” he says. “I’ve been dreaming about that pretty mouth wrapped around my dick.”
She shudders at the tone of his voice, at the vision of her on her knees for him. She likes it.
“I bet you have too,” he guesses.
Without a response, she licks him, holding him at the base and running her tongue up one side of him. She does it again, and then one more time, acquainting herself with the taste of him and the satiny feel of him on her tongue, and then she adjusts and covers the whole of him.
“Fuck,” he breathes out.
She hums around him and she sucks him down, taking him until he hits her throat. Then she pulls back until just the tip remains. She licks around his head and sucks him there, letting the spit pool in her mouth, letting it mix with his own wet. She opens her mouth and lets it slide out, dripping down onto him, and her own body starts to drip at his wrecked whisper, “god, baby, look at you.”
She adds her hands, palming his testicles in one and rubbing her spit down the length of him with the other. She finds a rhythm, sucking him down, inch by inch, hollowing her cheeks as she goes, and then stroking his back up. Barry keeps his hand clenched in the sheets, but he cants himself into her mouth, rocking his hips lightly. She’s getting into it, loving the way he responds to her.
“Come here,” he says, suddenly, reaching for her, and she pulls back with a soft pop.
“Barry?” she furrows her eyebrows in question.
He gives her a gentle smile and grabs at her arm; Iris moves at his request, crawling up his body.
“But you didn’t finish,” she says, pouting a little.
“I know. I want to come when I’m inside you.”
She’s mollified by that, and he settles her on his lap.
“You were so good though, baby,” he says, kissing her. “My good, good girl.”
He reaches down to touch her, slipping his fingers easily into her sex. He groans into her mouth at the feel and he pulls back to ask,
“Is this all for me? Did you get wet sucking me off, good girl?”
She nods, rocking her hips against his hand, against his sex still hard beneath her. “Can, can you…?”
He tilts his head at her, fingers still caressing inside of her. “Can I?”
She huffs out a small laugh because he’s always fucking with her. “You said you wanted to come inside of me,” she reminds him.
“I did, didn’t?” He takes his time removing his fingers, eyes on her as he does. Even with the window curtains wide open, the dark sky has the room dark
(and she doesn’t dismiss the fact that the window faces the side of someone else’s house, where they could be seen if the neighbors were so inclined to watch)
and his eyes look a little like molten lead in the faint rainy light like this. He goes to reach over to his bedside table but Iris stops him.
“I want to feel you,” she says.
He licks his lips and she doesn’t mistake the twitch of his dick she feels under her. “You sure?”
“Yes. I’m on birth control. And I trust you.”
He nods once and again, and then he takes her by her hips and slides her down his cock.
After, Iris decides that this time is the single most erotic experience of her life.
They fuck with the rain like a soundtrack behind them, like a song that swells and stretches, telling their story, but you're so brave; stone cold crazy for loving me; yeah, I'm amazed; i hope you make it out alive, a song that rises and rises, that sounds too good to be real, that might destroy you, but only in the best way.
She rides him, and he’s so full in her like this, so deep in her like this. His back is against his fabric headboard and she’s so close to him, her knees jutting into the headboard, her thighs holding around his hips, her breasts rubbing against his chest, nipples pebbling with each brush on those hard planes.
She holds on to him with her hands holding the back of his neck, softly scratching at the nape. But he’s touching her, always touching her, his hands caressing her spine, and then holding her waist, and then squeezing her hips. He guides her: keeps his favorite pace, smooth and languid; bring her up to the tip and fucks her back down; shows her how he wants her to roll her body when he’s full in her, so her clit is brushing the soft hairs on his pelvis, the sensation incredible.
He uses his mouth too: to kiss her throat, deep tongue kisses that’ll leave marks she knows she’ll have to cover up; to whisper against her mouth, “see how easy this is; see how good, baby; fuck, see how good this is; yes, yes, yes, my good girl.”
And Iris feels so caught up in it. She can’t stop looking at him, loving when the lightning slashes across the room and illuminates those eyes, the constellation of moles on his skin, his wet, pink mouth. Her body hums with pleasure, soaking her thighs and his, tightening around his dick as if it never, never wants to let him go. She voices her satisfaction, in soft sighs and heavy pleas, and his name on her tongue like a chant, or better, a song, “Bear, Bear, Barrryyy.” They’re so close, her skin sticking to his wherever they’re touching, chest to chest and ass to thigh. She feels full and whole and filled...with him and with desire and with, and with love, the thought of it making her shudder and close her eyes.
“No,” Barry whispers. “Don’t. Just let it, just let it...stay here with me. Can you do that for me? Be brave for me?”
She nods, head heavy as her body starts to reach its climax, as her body loosens at the same time that it tightens and she has to fight to hold on to him. “Yes,” she moans again, holding his gaze again.
He touches at her face, holding her cheek and staring back. “Good girl.”
She doesn’t know whose climax triggers the other. She just knows that at the same time that her body explodes, fluttering wildly around him, he comes too, so hard that she feels him throbbing against her walls, that she feels him filling her up with his cum.
He doesn’t let go of her right away. He just holds her, hands at her hip and her face, and then he kisses her, cementing what they’ve just done, cementing what Iris feels for him.
“It’s the anniversary of my mom’s death,” he says, out of the blue. “And when I went to visit my dad earlier, I found out that he’s sick, something with his heart, and I’m-I’m reeling.”
It’s been a long while since they separated and Iris climbed off of him to pad into his bathroom and warm a hand towel under warm water to clean them both. They’ve been lying in his bed, only half under the covers as they let their bodies cool. It’s quiet now, so quiet that Iris has thought he’d fallen asleep; she’d almost fallen asleep. But when he speaks, she blinks wide and then turns her head to face him.
“14 years today,” he adds. He’s looking up at the ceiling as he talks, but Iris feels the hand that’s settled at her waist tighten, the move bringing her closer to him. She understands that he just needs the contact, so she turns so that she’s all the way curled on him, one of her legs thrown across him, her arm tossed over him too, hand settled on his heart. It’s beating slow, steady, and so she strokes his bare chest, right it.
“How’d you find out?”
“I was still at school,” he tells her. “It was a Friday and some of my friends had convinced me to go to a football game, so we were there pretty late. Games could run until 11. I was 17 so I had my own car. It was an old car; we’d bought it from a guy she worked with. By this time, my dad had been gone for a couple years, and my mom was always working late at the lab, so when I got home around 10:30 that night and the lights were out, I wasn’t surprised.”
He shifts a little and continues. “I took a shower, put some leftover pizza in the microwave, and just as I was sitting down to eat, the doorbell rang. It was the police looking for her next of kin to tell them what had happened.” He sighs heavily. “I got lucky. The courts let one of my friend’s parents take me in until I graduated a few months later. I was able to get a work study job in college to pay my bills since the mortgage was already paid off.”
He says it all like he was lucky, but there is nothing lucky about losing both of your parents in that matter, even if one of them was still physically alive. Iris knows from experience that he doesn’t want pity, doesn’t want anyone to feel sorry for his story. But she can’t help the way she wants to comfort him, and so she lets herself do that, tightening herself around him, snuggling even more into his chest.
“How are you feeling about your dad?” she asks, mumbling against his skin.
“Devastated. He looked like, like, I don’t know, like he’s giving up. I don’t get to go see him too often, every couple of months, really. And he looked so different from when I saw him last: smaller, frailer. I think there might be something he’s not telling me. Like he’s been sick longer than he says he has.”
“Is he supposed to get out soon?”
“Another couple years. But I don’t know if he wants to hold on that long.”
She feels them first, the tears. She tries to hold him even tighter, tries to crawl into his skin almost, trying to stem his pain. He doesn’t cry for long, just a few sobs, and then he’s inhaling deeply and wiping at his eyes. But it must be enough because he sounds a little hollow when he says,
“And truthfully, I’m not so much sad as I am mad, that he seems to be giving up. On getting out. On me.”
She hums, not dismissively, but because she understands. “Wanna know a secret?”
“Yeah.”
“Sometimes, I hate my mom.”
He sort of jerks up at that. Not fully, he looks down at her, eyes widened in shock. However inappropriate it might be, she finds herself laughing a little at his expression. Then she explains.
“I know that addiction is not a moral failing. I know that she struggled right up til the end. I know both of those things as completely as I know anything else. But sometimes I wonder why my dad wasn’t enough, why me and Wally weren't enough. I wonder what she was trying to find in those pills that she couldn’t find in us, and I get so pissed that she let it take her away from us.”
She’s startled when he moves. He pulls himself from under her, letting her fall onto her back, and then he’s hovering above her, holding himself up on his elbows. He falls into the spread of her thighs, his sex nuzzling comfortably against her still warm center.
“I’ve seen some of the worst effects of addiction,” he says, “when their bodies end up on a slab of metal and it’s my job to dissect the things around them, to even sometimes help detectives dissect their lives to figure out what happened. And something I’ve learned is that it’s always, always about them. Never about the people they love.”
He searches her face, brushing a piece of hair back from her forehead. “And whatever your mom was or wasn’t thinking, you are enough. You are more than enough, Iris.” He leans down and gives her a kiss, deep and dirty, and she moans in frustration as he pulls back from her. He gives her a grin, one more reminiscent of the Barry she’s used to.
“Repeat after me,” he commands. “I, Iris West…”
“Really, Barry?”
“Yes, come on. I, Iris West…
She sighs, but says it. “I, Iris West…”
“Am more than enough.”
She licks her lips then, blinks, works to not let the tears that have suddenly gathered in the corner of her eyes escape.
“Am more than enough,” she whispers, finally.
Barry’s smile turns fond. “Good girl.”
She shakes her head because she doesn’t know what else to do besides kiss him. Which she does, deeply, reaching down to grip him in her palm. She pauses, just for a moment, to tell him “you know that you are enough too, right?” and she kisses the look of awe off of his face. It’s a long while before she stops kissing him, and then it’s only to moan into his mouth, to let him whisper his dirty somethings into her ear.
“What are your plans for tonight?”
They’ve just shared a shower. Barry is throwing on another pair of sweats and a hoodie and Iris puts her own leggings back on, sans underwear, and thumbs through Barry’s closet for another sweatshirt to put on.
(There’s no reason that she can’t put hers back on, but she’s feeling particularly sentimental and she wants to take something of Barry’s with her, something that smells like him, that feels like him.)
“None, really.” She pulls out a red sweater that reads Central City University Track & Field and throws it on over her bra. “Why? You kicking me out.”
Barry rolls his eyes. “Of course not.” He glances down at the watch on his wrist. “Wanna get dinner? And then go with me to my tattoo appointment? It’s at 8 tonight.”
She smiles at that. “Sure.”
They take the highway back downtown. The rain is still beating steadily and there is still the occasional rumble of thunder, the sporadic flash of lightning. He parks a bit further in the arts district, in front of a restaurant specializing in wood-fire pizzas and craft beers. This time, she knows to wait for him to come around and open the door for her so that she can walk under his umbrella. Once he locks his jeep, he grabs her hand, and they walk the couple doors down and into the restaurant.
The place is brightly lit, in direct contrast to the dark sky and even the faint light that had been on at Barry’s place. The weather assures that it isn’t densely packed, just a couple booths of families and what looks like a couple, so they’re seated quickly and easily. They eat fast since they’ve only got an hour before his appointment. In the meantime, they both keep the conversation light. It’s been a day, for the both of them really, and Iris doesn’t think that she can cry twice in a day.
After he pays, she goes to the bathroom and he tells her he’ll wait at the door for her. She goes in and it’s as brightly lit as the rest of the place and she quickly does her business and washes her hands before heading back out to where he knows Barry is waiting in the little space between the outer door and the door to the restaurant.
She walks through the place and out of the restaurant door, likely too quickly and without really looking. She takes several steps, straightening out Barry’s sweatshirt again, and then she’s bumping into what feels like a solid wall, almost falling backward. A quick hand reaches out to catch her, the hand large, easily wrapping around her forearm.
“Shit,” she says, shaking her head to clear it as she looks up. “I’m sorr..Scott?”
He doesn’t move back right away and so she has to look up, up at the man holding on to her. Scott Evans is the literal definition of tall, dark, and handsome. He’d been her editor when she’d work at CCPN right out of college, and she’d had the biggest crush on him. Tall with dark caramel skin and a neatly trimmed beard, he’d been the one to help guide her in the ways of mass story-telling. They’d gone on one date and Iris is not actually sure why they’d never gone on another.
“Iris West.” He says her name slowly, his grin widening at the same pace. He gives her a once-over, slow and heated. “How’ve you been?”
“R-really good,” she says, stumbling a little at that grin. Even if she doesn’t actually regret never seeing him again, Iris can admit that a man this good looking makes her a little tongue-tied.
“Yeah? I’ve been catching your blog when I can. It’s some good shit, West. I can see why you left our little paper.”
“Please,” Iris rolls her eyes with a little laugh. “There’s nothing little about Picture News.”
He shrugs, humble all the way. “Still, I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, Scott. I appreciate that.”
“It’s the truth.” He looks down at her, swiping at his lips with his tongue, and she suddenly realizes that they’re still too close. She steps back fully from him, glancing over Scott’s shoulders to see Barry watching them, his expression unreadable.
“Um,” she speaks, catching his attention. “I gotta go Scott.”
“Oh yeah; of course. We should get together soon. Maybe do dinner.” Scott looks back out of the window where rain steadily pours. “It’s still raining out. Can I walk you to your car?”
Her eyes don’t leave Barry’s and he tilts his head, waiting for her answer. “Scott, I’m not alone.”
He turns as if he’s just realizing that Barry is standing there. Barry is still quiet and only lifts his eyes to look at Scott when he mutters, “oh, hey man.”
Barry nods. “What’s up?” Then he looks at Iris. “You ready?”
“Yeah, I am.” Her voice is soft, cautious, and she throws one more glance at Scott. “It was good to see you.”
He graces her with that smile again. “Yeah. I’ll see you around.”
Barry takes her hand and they walk back to the truck. They’re on the road again, driving to a neighborhood near her own. For a second, she thinks he’s going to take her home, but he passes the road to her apartment and goes on to a neighborhood featuring several bars and little shops that cater to the college crowd. He pulls into the parking lot of a place called Black Gold, the lights inside near as bright as those in the pizza place.
Again, she waits until he comes around and turns as if to get out. He stops her though, holding the umbrella high, standing in front of her open legs. He does his thing, his stare like he's trying, and succeeding, to get inside her mind.
“That your ex-boyfriend?” he wonders.
She shakes her head. “Ex-boss.”
His expression doesn’t change. “All your bosses look at you like that?”
She swallows at the sudden feel of his hand on her thigh. The rain is pounding and drops fall on them, but she’s not noticing it. Instead, she’s caught in the storm that’s returned to his eyes, in the feel of his hands inching steadily toward her center.
“Don’t tell me you’re jealous,” she says, instead of responding to him.
One corner of his mouth lifts, and the confident, bordering on cocky, Barry is looking at her now, even if that sparkle hasn’t returned quite yet.
“Nah,” he says. “Not jealous. You’re here right now. And you were with me earlier, moaning for me, coming for me.”
He slides his hand between her thighs and because she is, almost literally, always thirsty for him, wet for him, her legs spread easily. He fingers at the crotch of her leggings, and she knows that he can feel her warmth through the thin material. He thumbs at her until she gasps against him, finding her clit in a way that reminds him that he knows her body better than she knows it herself.
“He ever touch you like this?” Barry asks, voice a whisper above the rain. “Make you whimper even without getting your clothes off?”
She is whimpering, as he keeps his thumb on her clit, rubbing on her in slow circles. That’s all he’s doing: touching her with one hand, looking at her with those eyes that tell as much as they conceal, with his voice a deep rumble that rivals the thunder. He might be turned on, but he’s proving a point, naming himself as someone who, well, who owns her, even if she recognizes that no man should claim any power over her.
Heat spreads through her, a low, simmering sort of heat, but it’s enough that her folds grow slicker, start opening like the flowers of a petal waiting to be plucked. He keeps rubbing at her, staying on her clit, staring in her face, so much that she can’t hold his gaze. Because it feels better than it should, and her wet is soaking through these too thin leggings, and her breaths are coming in longer, coming in heavier.
“Tell me he hasn’t, Iris,” he says, commands, and Iris throws her head back, legs widening at their own volition, hips canting against his hand. “Tell me.”
“No,” she moans, eyes fluttering closed. “He never even touched me at all.”
“Tell me it’s just me,” he adds and she’s too far gone to note the pleading in his voice. “Tell me no one has ever touched you like this.”
“No,” she shakes her head. “Just you, Barry, shit, just you.”
“Good,” he groans. “Good, good girl.”
Even if touch is the word he’s using, Iris understands that it’s more. She understands that they’re both wrapped up in uncertainty, never too sure of where they lie in others’ affections, never too sure of where they lie in life at all. She understands that he’s asking her if she feels it too, if she’s there with him, if this too easy, this too natural, feeling is a first for her too.
He’s asking if she’s brave enough to tell him the truth, if she undertands is meaning-understands that I'm no walk in the park; all these scars on my heart; it’s so dark here-even as she’s wondering the same, as she’s feeling the same, wondering if the churning feelings of abandonment make her unworthy somehow. Wondering if he’ll come to see that unworthiness.
Barry leans forward, just a touch away from her mouth, eyes blazing.
“There’s only you too, Iris,” he says, unprompted. “I swear I’ve just been waiting for you.”
He closes the distance to kiss her and that’s enough to take her over. It’s not a powerful orgasm, not like usual, but it does make her shut her eyes tight, make her limbs seize up as she rocks her hips through it. She breathes out, and she can’t stop the little laugh that comes out.
“You really are a dick,” she muses, opening her eyes slowly.
“A polite one, though,” he says, as he stands straighter and holds his hand out to help her down from the car. He holds the umbrella high over her. “See how I’m making sure you don’t get wet.”
“You didn't think of that earlier.”
His grin is devastating but it doesn’t hide the plethora of emotions in his eyes: the simmering lust, the faint traces of insecurity, the grief that’s been hovering all day...the love she doesn’t think he wants to hide anymore.
She hikes up on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his cheek, and then she walks beside him into the parlor, words flashing in her head like a sign, but if you’re a warrior, there’s nothing to fear; nothing to fear.
And later that night, as she cuddles up next to Barry is his large comfortable bed, she listens to his soft breathing, the sound a melody to the rain still pattering against his windows. She listens and she stares at him, taking in his features, softer than they were before, the stress of today easing away with every second he’s lost to sleep. A flash of lightning lights the room, and it catches her eyes again, the new tattoo, the purple ink bright on his skin, covering the space from a lily on his shoulder to just over his heart. It goes dark again, his room blanketed once more, but in her mind’s eyes, she can still see the vibrant ink on his skin, the pretty drooping petals of an iris.
Cause you're so brave
Stone cold crazy for loving me
Yeah, I'm amazed
I hope you make it out alive
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haikyuu x otome: masterlist | prologue
» synopsis: a haikyuu x reader au where you, the player, are bound for university in a metropolis several hours away from home. hope and excitement are replaced with dread as you come to realize that juggling life as a student and a part-time employee takes a toll. from demanding classes to a ruthless manager, life just can’t seem to give you a break. that is, until you meet a certain someone who reminds you how to live and follow your dreams. somehow, when you’re with them, time stands still. maybe things are finally starting to look up. if only you could stay in those moments for just a little longer.
» disclaimer: i do not own haikyuu or any of the pixels in this post (i simply made collages out of them)
edit: it’s been brought to my attention that another HQ writer may have written something similar to this idea in the past and I was unaware. Though I haven’t seen this particular type of thing written yet, I don’t mean to claim this event idea as my own bc I feel a lot of events that ppl put up may have some overlapping themes n such (tho this idea would def be more specific and be cause for concern of plagiarism) and bc I would never want to steal ideas/not ask other writers first/not credit other writers (that’s not cool fam). If you have any issues with this event, pls bring them up w me, and if you know any other writers who’ve done smth similar, pls share w me their URLs! thank u for ur understanding :) I hope u can still enjoy haikyuu x otome :’)
» how to play:
I. you can refer here for the general rules of my blog. also, for this event (and it’ll say in the descriptions below), i’m only accepting one character per request. also the word count limits i wrote here may change as im getting started on actually writing requests lol
II. essentially a collection of x reader one-shots, drabbles, and smaus in which you are a busy college student whose only break seems to be spending time with friends who actually get you or the 15-minute lunch break during which you get to ignore annoying customers
III. since this is otome-inspired, i have several options you can choose from. these options are essentially types of requests:
» everyday is a new start
» drabble about how you meet the character of your choice
» it is not guaranteed y’all are gonna gel (get along) when you first meet,, warning: if the character is usually a bitch, i may write them as one LMAO jkjk but fr
» usually light, fluffy, and/or silly
» hmm tbh,,, idk word count,,, probs anywhere between 700-1k words (i edited this word count after writing my first thing bc HNNN)
» the only characters you can’t request this for is yamaguchi, tsukki n hinata,,, bc you meet them in the prologue AHAHA sry it’s nothing too spaicy since it’s just in the intro
» it’s all in the little things
» one-shots about normal, daily interactions with the character of your choice
» in other words, these include what can go on in a day in the life of y/n and the character of your choice (after they’ve already met). in the city, the possibilities are endless
» give me a word (or several, cuz writing is hard lmao. also legit any word, like ‘orange’ or ‘nostalgia.’ i may choose only one or do a combination from your list :3) as a prompt and ill somehow make something of it lmao
» medium relationship development + exp
» 700-1.5k words
» hmmm what should i get today?
» very short drabble with a character of your choice about various scenarios and thots i have in my head
» a complete surprise, totally random, may have no context
» may be serious, fluff, crack, etc.
» if u choose this u basically told me ‘surprise me’
» 100-300 words, depends on my mood
» when i see your name pop up on the screen, i can’t help but smile
» short smau with a character of your choice
» fluff or crack, ur choice or leave that up to me (if unspecified, ill just flip a coin)
» you can either give me a word(s) as a guide or leave the topic of convo up to me
» 2-4 panels
» you’d be surprised how much can happen in a day
» BMO has nothing to do with this, i just found a cute pixel of him
» spaicy relationship development, the scenes in which you actually make progress in the game
» one-shot with a character of your choice
» order from the following:
» macaron: when they realize they’ve fallen for you
» banana bread: when you realize you’ve fallen for them
» iced americano: when they feel a tinge of jealousy
» hot chocolate: when they see you crying
» matcha latte: when they have a longing to be around you
» cupcake: love confession (may be intentional or accidental)
» major relationship development + exp + sometimes confusion
» 1-2k words
» these will probs take me longer
» all good things must come to an end
» not as angsty as those bolded words above sound,,, unless you want it to be >:)
» drabble or one-shot with a character of your choice. the final interaction before finishing the game
» you have three options: good end (fluffy, romantic & the like), bad end (angst), or crack end (surprise)
» word count will be super variable, from 300-1.5k words
IV. this forces me to write one-shots, drabbles, anything but hc’s, and also forces me to limit my word count. that said, this will take me a hot minute, y’all. word counts may change too bc i am,,, indecisive n untalented AHAHA
V. search for ‘haikyuu x otome,’ ‘haikyuu x otome special,’ ‘haikyuu x reader otome’ tags! i will tag each work under these c:
got it? have a request for me? send me an ask or submission!
request example: ‘start new game with akaashi’ or ‘love challenge with yachi in the empty lecture hall at night’ or ‘continue story with noya. words: tired, mangoes, music’
feel free to ask me if ur confused about anything and have questions! thank you so much for reading <3 im excited for this heh
inspired by recent haikyuu otome teasers i keep seeing online and the fact that i dropped my summer class and am taking on personal projects (like painting my room LMAO i gotta manifest my inner buff daddee ushi to move shit in my room bc i kid u not everything is rlly heavy in here. and i also delved back into otomes on my phone,, does anyone else play midnight cinderella or mr love LOL talk 2 me)
haikyuu x otome masterlist
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagines#kuroo x reader#oikawa x reader#kenma x reader#sugawara x reader#hinata x reader#kageyama x reader#bokuto x reader#akaashi x reader#daichi x reader#asahi x reader#nishinoya x reader#tanaka x reader#yaku x reader#ushijima x reader#tendou x reader#osamu x reader#tsukishima x reader#yamaguchi x reader#atsumu x reader#futakuchi x reader#iwaizumi x reader#yachi x reader#kiyoko x reader#ukai x reader#haikyuu x otome#haikyuu x otome special#haikyuu x reader otome
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Hello imane! Because of the pandemic, I still have all my uni classes online & idk ive been feeling v stuck in life like ik everyone has and im v privileged compared to alot of people but just submitting assignments in the same old home environment everyday. Ik we all have to get through this but life feels joyless and dull. Just endlessly depressing. So i wanted to ask u how u idk made life exciting while u were working from home? Like any rituals or a routine or hobbies?
hi angel! tbh i don’t know if i’ve suceeded in making my home life very exciting in the last year, but there are a few things that helped. my desk used to face a wall and it got really old after a couple of weeks of always staring at purple paint all day long so i turned my desk around to face the window, and surprisingly that helped a lot. having the cats around definitely do a lot of good things for my mind too. i decluttered my space, i burn a candle every day, got a lot of comfy clothes to wear around the house. i also take showers during my lunch break lol. i have a thing for fancy drinks so i got myself quite the selection of teas, coffees and various drinks to prepare at different points throughout the day. taking walks got real old bc living in the city means taking ugly street upon ugly street for little pay-off so i don’t really have that outlet akjkfjgld. one thing that really helped me was making my own food and be diligent with my meals by making sure i was treating myself to things i wanted to eat and by trying new meals and prepping my own pickles and fermented foods! i feel proud of myself even when i make a sandwich bc i can put in stuff i pickled myself etc, and it constitutes a highlight of my day even if it’s based on something i made many days ago. i make sure i talk to my friends every day, even if it’s just to share memes. i’d say just little things make a whole lot of difference when you add them up. starting tomorrow i’m going to do that 30 day yoga challenge thing by adrienne something something because to be honest i have a LONG way to go when it comes to my physical health and i really need to start generating happy hormones by working out and involving myself physically into activities. as far as food for thought is concerned i’ve been following a lot of webinars on decolonisation, anti-racism and stuff, it’s a topic i’ve always been interested in and i feel very lucky to be able to assist to so many online conferences where scholars and activists come together to share their expertise.
as far as hobbies are concerned, i’ve taken up playing electric guitar a few weeks ago and i’m getting back into drawing and painting a little, but i wouldn’t say it’s something i’m doing to alleviate the constraints of working from home if that makes any sense, it’s more part of a long-term plan to be more creative. and as usual i read a lot! reading is my favorite thing to do, especially now that life is so boring and monotonous. fiction is literally making me feel alive by proxy as pathetic as it sounds lmao. but i’m not berating myself for that, and neither should you. yes there is a mountain of privilege involved in being able to work or study from home when so many are at the end of their rope. however, it does not invalidate the fact that after nearly a year of repetitive lockdowns, isolation and general threat to mental and physical health, there is a lot of people who feel at the end of their rope and are still trying to find the silver lining somewhere. i think a lot of people have started journaling, which is cool, and jotting down stuff they feel grateful about, which works for some people but for me it’d be counterproductive. it all comes down to trial and error and see what makes you feel alive. lately even doing my laundry has been a highlight of my days bc i love the smell of cleanliness (it’s the virgo in me...).
last but not least u can join our book club~ the link is in the bio. to be honest it’s a book club but it’s not mandatory to read, there are plenty of channels and it’s a nice occasion to chat with people about common interests. if you feel like socialising that is <3 just being able to chat about this or that w/ cool people in a positive space does wonder for my feelings of depression and loneliness.
ok i typed a lot but idk if this has been of any help lol i’m a boring person and i don’t do any spiritual stuff or think about mindfulness at all and i’ve got a laundry list of issues to deal with so i don’t even feel qualified to share advice but at the end of the day i just wanted to tell u that i wish u the best and that u find ur cruising speed, and that if u do and lose it for a bit, it doesn’t mean that u can’t get back on track!! i wish the both of us and everybody else a better future
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Having blessedly learned to use a read more on mobile, I’m gonna immediately abuse it and rant extensively about the organisation of Legal Assassins (tm) that ive pulled out of nowhere and shoved in Iri so Del has a Fourth Ideal to fulfil that has very little chance of being impacted by new books in the years to come!
[cracks my knuckles]
They are known as those of no name, which SHOULD be a fancy Iriali word, but as we don’t have enough info on Iriali linguistics (yet) those of no name is just the closest possible Alethi translation.
SO, BASICALLY, a few centuries after Sadees the Sunmaker made a somewhat effective attempt to forcibly unite all of Roshar, the monarchs of Iri went “hey, we need make sure this never happens again. No one can stand in the way of us remaining our own nation and completing the Long Trail.” And so, they decided to create an organisation of winter soldiers elite assassins capable of crippling a nation, should Alethkar ever stand unified again.
Those of no name do not spend ALL of their time in other countries assassinating foreign leaders that are amassing too much power. For the most part, they act as... dubious keepers of the peace, that keep an eye for and take care of anyone that is considered shameful to the One. It is rarer for members to be a) hired for an exorbitant price by other countries in their power struggles or b) sent by Iri’s own monarchs to make sure Alethkar and Jah Keved continue to have a terrible time.
They aren’t... how do I say this, wholly awful. While being a conscripted member of those of no name is basically glorified enslavement, members have often come from such unpleasant backgrounds that their enslavement actually provides them feelings of security and purpose. And they get to feel like they are helping make the cities of Iri a better place. The leaders kind of rely on this, and have centuries of passed down knowledge to help them perfect the art of brainwashing members into believing this is their only available and deserved way of life (charming).
A few random details: upon conscription, members are made to give up whatever it was that made them... THEM. They no longer go by their name, and the most fanatical of them go so far as to not even name preferences and give opinions, or refer to themselves in conversation.
In lieu of a name, members are recognised by their individual masks, which come in a variety of shapes, and start off blank, only to be added to (carved and/or painted) as they ~achieve more for the One~ (Del’s mask is one example). Having a fully carved or painted mask is a mark of pride. Some REALLY senior members have more than one mask, but that’s incredibly rare in the face of the fact that they don’t exactly tend to live long. Your mask breaking is a mark of shame, and you must begin again with a blank mask.
They’re also encouraged to see themselves as spren, no longer people, and the rags they dress in play upon that. Residents of Iri and Rira probably even believe those of no name really ARE spren of some kind, given how much spren are revered and sometimes feared in Rall Elorim particularly.
Here have an old and hurried sketch:
The cult of moments: exists
Those of no name: we did it first & BETTER, scrub🖕
(It is worth mentioning that many of the conscripts, despite being labelled criminals, were actually victims. Sometimes even at the hands of the leaders that now hold their leash, and continue to hire and control them. Some members are pure blooded Iriali, but for the most part, TOTALLY coincidentally, they’re more likely to be mixed race, and therefore less important to the One, in the eyes of the leaders. All members are even legally declared subhuman/DEAD so that it won’t encroach on the sensitivities of any new leaders that feel even One wouldn’t require this Experience. It’s creepy and I hate it and it factors A LOT into why Del becomes a Skybreaker in search of true justice. She herself is only of those of no name because she replaced her older brother in his trial, after he killed in self defence and was convicted for it :)
In its current incarnation, centuries later, it operates under the jurisdiction of the queen’s royal advisor —an odd man who is a bit of an extremist among believers of the One— and his underlings, who all have their individual issues and quirks. Some believe that ANY death is hurtful and wasteful to the One, and to break + repurpose a mind is a better use. Some are just freaks with control issues. Some seriously believe it is a necessary Experience for the One, or that they’ve given the members a shot at a better life. Some REALLY don’t want to be in this job and rightfully think it’s inhumane but also can’t really do anything about it because they’ve been ordered by someone of higher status.
HOW THIS ALL TIES INTO DEL’S FOURTH IDEAL: Del isn’t after a wholesale cleansing of the entire organisation. There were definitely low points when her empathy had her convinced that the only way to end the pain felt by those of no name was to end their lives, but her time among the Radiants gives her hope and changes her mindset. Now she only seeks to end the corruption at the head, particularly the leaders (who essentially own the lot of them) who well know they either had no reason to conscript the people they did, conscripted for petty vengeance, or abused members under the very pathetic and unsatisfactory belief that they were no longer legally ‘human’ anyway, and therefore it was fine. Del does her research, and makes sure it’s deserved and just on all counts, and spares the leaders that she knows never supported the arrangement.
She also makes sure to, with the help of Oro and other senior members, give those of no name a new purpose and something to strive towards. After all, exacting justice isn’t just about punishing those who were in the wrong, or even just about avenging the wronged, it is also about making sure the wronged are taken care of. And that part of being a Skybreaker is very important to her. Absolute sap. I love my idiot.
Special thanks to @theropunk that has listened to me rant about this in extensive detail, and @moash who inspired me to work out how those of no name would exist post-Del going absolutely off the rails in typical Skybreaker style, which warms my heart and I need to rant about on another post another time when I can order my thoughts and my brain stops excitedly going aaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA
#welcome to my ya dystopian lit where everything is extreme and grey and horrible and everyone is having a terrible time#ramblings#story: kintsukuroi#oc: del#oc: oro#I’ll reread this and gasp in horror at the typos LATER#my art#those of no name#oc stuff
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You should do all of them questions and 90 is true
I love you!!!!
1. Favorite instrument?
I work at a music store u can’t just ask me this. When my coworkers play it’s the saxophone or the flute, when the boys in the repair shop are testing repairs and they harmonize with each other or try to outplay one another it’s the bassoon or the trombone or whatever they’re fixing at the moment. When I hear 🎺 give his lesson on Wednesday afternoons it’s the trumpet, and when I think about middle school it’s the clarinet, the flute, the French horn. When I hear the nutcracker pas des deux is the oboe and when I hear edith piaf l’accordeoniste it’s the remarkable human voice. Really my favorite instrument is all of them, it just depends.
2. Favorite fic trope? Mutual pining 🥺
3. Sport you played for the longest amount of time? LMAO I wasn’t a sporty kid but I did ballet
4. Shoe size? 10-11
5. Most recent (good) dream? Uhh I had a dream last night about my coworker 🎹 it wasn’t bad though I can’t really remember what it was about
6. Last person in your DMs? smugg
7. Can you do a handstand? Nooo nooo lmaoo nooooo
8. Unpopular food opinion I don’t like oranges or red meat
9. Conspiracy you believe in? There’s some kind of weird weather dome in my hometown around the military base that makes most storms pass around us
10. Is your hair its natural color/style? Most of it is I dyed the bottom layer of my hair tho so it’s blonde rn
11. state a useless fact all that’s coming to mind is outright lies rn hold on. The inventor of pringles is buried in a pringles can that’s so fucking nasty omg
12. most interesting gossip you’ve heard? Idk I don’t really care for gossip uhhhh have u heard tho rin dippindogs is a huge gay hah she uhh she like men AND women lmao gaaay gaaaay
13. Middle name? Carolyn
14. Sexuality? Bisexual
15. Amount of sleep you got last night? Idk actually I think like 9-10 hrs tho I slept in until 11
16. Opinion on ice cream cake? Tasty!!!
17. Opinion on (cup)cake frosting? It’s depends buttercream is usually too sweet for me in large amounts so I prefer whipped cream frosting
18. Last board game you played? Idk??? We played hunt a killer tho last Thursday me n my family I guess that counts kinda
19. Project you want to start? I need ideas first baby
20. Project you’re working on right now? HAHAHAHAHAHA
21. TV show you’re watching? nothing rn I just rewatch bojack a lot if I watch anything
22. Last movie you watched? Lego batman I think
23. Ever left anon hate? Not legit hate
24. Ever left anon love? Yes all the time. Sometimes to strangers it’s my favorite thing to do
25. Best Disney movie? The princess and the frog
26. Best Pixar movie? Soul or Up I can’t decide
27. Best Star Wars? Um. Empire strikes back
28. Last thing you consumed? Fuit gumy
29. NoTP? Idk I don’t really hate ships unless they’re gross like pedophilic gross
30. story behind your (nick)name? When I was a fetus my great grandfather had a dream that my name should be Carolyn Marie but my parents were huge dweebs so they named me Marina after the actress of Deanna Troi in Star Trek. Idk about my nickname ive just always been Rina/Rin as long as I can remember
31. ice cream order? Lately it’s lemon sorbetto I know it’s SO high in sugar but I love it
32. describe your blog in <5 words I love you
33. how many blogs do you follow? 436
34. Describe your voice it depends usually I sound like a sick child but my customer service voice is really pleasant
35. Describe your smile it’s cute :)
36. What is the place you live known for? LMAOOO LMAO we have a military base nearby and like. I could go on abt that one but also like. There’s a lot of gang violence and a lot of the other consequences of poverty. People from the cities around us see us as “””ghetto””” or violent but it’s just. It’s more than that it’s always more than that. And idk what else there’s nothing really particularly special about this town except that we’re all here and not anywhere else
37. What is the place you’re originally from known for? (if they’re different)
38. pronouns? she/any idc
39. Languages you speak? English
40. first friend you made through tumblr? Idk. I probably don’t talk to them anymore :(
41. Person on tumblr you know in real life? my brother
42. First dog breed you think of shih tzu I have 2 next to me rn
43. room wall color? Purble!!!! The paint color is called grape juice that’s why I picked it!!!
44. Song that’s stuck in your head right now? It’s tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that’s right on time it’s trickyyyyy
45. Favorite number? 5, 34
46. Color you associate with your name? Red
47. Favorite jolly rancher flavor?watermelon
48. Pets? 2 dogs rocket and groot and 4 cats loki danni who r from the same litter and we raised from kittens, miss kitty who we adopted from a shelter after my boy blue moon passed away and ben (his real name is Kylo Ren thanks to my mom but I refuse to call him that) he is my little baby and he has 7 toes on his front paws
49. Collections? Hot wheels
50. Character outside of your fandom you’d marry? Girl what lmaooo idk
51. Character outside of your fandom you’d kill? That’s mean :(
52. Have you met any celebrities? NO thank god id have to kill on sight
53. Favorite time period in history? Itslian Renaissance & Romantic Era
54. What time is it right now? 2:35 am oops
55. History or future? Future but like . A good one. Or prehistory
56. Space or ocean? Space
57. Fears? Abandonment
58. Command + v and post. It’s this list of questions u don’t want that
59. Favorite season? Spring
60. Describe your aesthetic. Messy just a mess, neon and old buildings and things, antiques, countryside if there weren’t so many trump pence flags still lmaoo give uppp give up, nature just al of nature and space and places humans can’t touch and places they used to touch but can’t anymore
61. MBTI? Infp but I haven’t taken it in a few years
62. What’s your relationship with your family like? Normal.
63. “Biggest fan” in your tumblr activity? I’m in mobile hold on acc to tumblr it’s akky
64. Favorite musical? Sweeney todd
65. Comfort book? Idk how to read 💔💔💔 wuthering heights tho
66. Comfort movie? Whisper of the heart
67. OTP? Girl idk
68. BroTP? Joey and Tristan yugioh
69. AUs or canon compliant? Canon ig idk
70. Opinion on the person who’s sending the ask? It’s an anon!! But I love them
71. FMK + 3 characters anon didnt leave any characters and I was going to say something very bad but I won’t
72. Dream date? I’ve wanted to do this for a while but ideally it would be after we’d been together a while maybe even engaged or whatever, I wanna go to like a Home Depot or a furniture store and pretend to be married and looking for house paints and furniture and plan what our home is going to look like I wanna do that so bad. But idk for a first/early relationship date i really want to go to the zilker botanical garden it’s one of my favorite places, we could also go to the natural gardener which is a plant nursery in Austin I really love it there too and it’s not that far from zilker.
73. Relationship status? Single
74. Ever dyed your hair? Do you plan to? Yes and perhaps. Maybe
75. Dream job/career? Idk anymore I used to have big girl goals and I haven’t had any in a while. But when I was younger I wanted to be a game warden
76. Favorite band/singer? Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
77. Something that makes you soft/that you find adorable? My cats
78. The first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Buy a house
79. Are you superstitious? Yes
80. Character you project onto? Shizuku tsukishima
81. Fictional character you’ve had a crush on? Vergil devil may cry. Forever husband
82. Celebrity crush? LMAO
83. Person on here you’d date? my mutuals
84. Person on here you’d marry? 🥺 my mutuals
85. Person on here you’d throw into the void? Smugg
86. Other social media you have? I’ve got a photography insta that I barely use and a Twitter that’s just nintendo switch screenies that’s it
87. Finish the sentence: Due to personal reasons, ___________i will be passing away
88. Bad habit? I find it rlly hard to say no or like to say when and why I’m upset I don’t feel like for the latter I don’t feel like I should bring something that’s upsetting me up because I know I’ll get over it on my own and I don’t really trust myself to be upset about rational things. Idk I’m working on it
89. Three things you like about yourself? I’m hot, I’m kind, I’m resilient
90. Ily and you deserve the world I love you!!!!! YOU deserve it too!!!
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Somewhere In Translation
@sneaky-ash: Im not sure if youre taking requests but im not fussed about when/if you write this; its just youre one of the best smut writers ive found in a while and lowkey a seungkwan enthusiast. Anyway ive been thinking about bumping into svt whilst theyre like, filming a surprise or smth in your local area. They ask you for directions and you end up hanging out with them and SK get flirtier the more time you spend with them. Eventually you guys end up getting together in his room all the while he’s tryna communicate in english as much as he can, and you try your best with extremely limited korean. Idk i feel like the language thing is something thats really ignored in fics and i kinda wanna see smth more realistic. Anyway!! Ive droned on a bit but if you find this ask kinda boring then dont mention it :(: but i wanted to get this out there since i thought youd be the best write for this. If you cant tell, i love your work! Im not extremely active but ill support you x
Seungkwan x Female Reader
Word Count: 2553
Contents: fingering, oral (female receiving), some nipple play, unprotected sex
Note: I can’t seem to tag you. Also as expected this took a while but it’s here now. I’m back from my mini hiatus and I love u all.
You had to do a double, then a triple take to process what you were seeing. You really thought you might be going crazy. There was no way that actual members of an actual kpop group were in your town. It was a big enough city to warrant them visiting but you hadn’t heard about any concerts.
And what were the odds that they would stop by your favourite café?
You were almost thankful that Seventeen wasn’t your favourite group or you might be screaming right now. You liked their music and knew them well enough to know their names and faces and a little bit about each of them but you didn’t know every single detail about them and you had failed miserably when you tried their name chants. You looked between Seungkwan, Seokmin, Soonyoung, and Hansol thinking that they were much taller than you expected, until one of them caught your eye.
You would have felt silly that Seungkwan caught you staring at him, but they had people staring at them all the time. It couldn’t be that much of a surprise, could it? You smiled at him warmly and confidently despite feeling a little shaky. You swore he checked you out quickly before returning the smile. You took your drink and made your way to a table, catching him each time he threw glances at you. Hansol caught the two of you looking at each other and chuckled before saying something to Seungkwan that you were too far away to hear. He blushed and looked between you and Hansol before his drink was ready. He took it and Hansol nudged him and motioned to you.
You’d decided that you were going to go with this. Maybe it was all a crazy dream but either way you were going to enjoy it while it lasted. Seungkwan made his way across the café to you while throwing glances back at the others nervously. He stopped behind the chair across from you.
“Hi,” he said awkwardly.
“Hello,” you hummed, grinning. “Did you want to sit down?”
“Ah, yes,” he blushed and took a seat. You waited as he thought through what he wanted to say. “You’re… very pretty.”
You couldn’t help he blush that spread across your face. You’d decided this had to be a dream. There was no way this could be real. On the slight chance it was though, and you weren’t about to wake up, you had to enjoy it.
“Thank you, you’re very handsome, but you probably already know that,” you said. You watched as he processed what you were saying and a shy smile spread across his face. “What are you all doing here anyway?” you asked, motioning to the other three who were sitting a little ways away, sipping their drinks, and chatting while shooting glances at the two of you.
“We have… um, schedule. We are…” he looked back at the others who all looks down at their drinks, chuckling. “lost.”
“I know the area really well if you need a hand,” you smiled.
He blushed and nodded, throwing his friends what almost looked like a dirty look before getting up. You followed him to their table where the other three greeted you warmly. Hansol told you where they were looking to go and you smiled, assuring them it was nearby and that you could take them there yourself to make sure they didn’t get lost.
You did your best to talk to all of them as you walked but it was easiest to hold a conversation with Hansol. Soonyoung and Seokmin walked behind you and chatted with each other while Seungkwan tried to keep up with you and Hansol. You did your best not to speak too quickly and you noticed Hansol giving him lots of chances to talk.
You led them to the nearby arcade they were heading to. It very much seemed to be the right place as there was a camera crew there and someone who might have been their manager who looked relieved to see them. You watched as they made their way into the arcade and turned to leave but someone grabbed your hand. You turned back to see Seungkwan smiling nervously.
“Will you, uh… wait until we are done?”
You smiled and nodded. He sighed happily before going to join the other members. You watched from the corner of the arcade as they filmed. They all seemed to turn on their energy and turn up their smile for the camera. Still them, but like turning up a dimmer switch, they were a brighter, more glamourous version of themselves. Whenever the camera was pointed elsewhere Seungkwan shot you a smile. It was the same smile he used on stage, it was dazzling and took your breath away and seemed like such a stark contrast to his shy grin from earlier.
You realized why he had asked you to stick around when they wrapped up filming sooner than you expected. You leaned against the wall and watched as the four of them approached you.
“You’re done so soon,” you said brightly.
They all nodded and Soonyoung pushed Seungkwan closer.
“We are going, uh,” he gave Hansol a panicked look. Hansol whispered something to him. “to the mall. Do you want… to, come?”
You grinned. “Yeah sure, do you know the way from here?”
“Ye-” he started but Soonyoung shoved him. “Uh, no.”
You offered your hand. “Let me show you then.” Seungkwan blushed as he took your hand and walked with you. The others chuckled and followed along behind.
“It was fun watching you film,” you said. “You’re so interesting, and I think the video will turn out well.”
You swore you saw a smirk cross his face and he followed along the crowded sidewalk of the market. “You seemed… happy?” he thought for a second. “…interested?” He spoke quickly to Hansol who laughed.
“He wants to say you seemed very charmed by him.”
You felt the blush creep up your cheeks and he chuckled and squeezed your hand. “Ah, you’re so cute.”
You wandered through the mall with them. Eventually Soonyoung and Seokmin wandered off to look at something, pulling Hansol with him to translate. You felt more nervous being alone with Seungkwan but as you were finding out he understood English well. Speaking was another matter but considering your Korean consisted of phrases that you had picked up from kpop you thought he was doing pretty well. You wandered through a few clothing stores where he insisted you try on a few things and almost made off to pay for them before you caught him and pulled out your own card. He did buy you a tea which you sipped on as you wandered back to the front of the mall. You had a feeling your day with him might be coming to an end.
He seemed nervous as he considered his words carefully. “Do you want to… hang out?”
You smiled, way too happy that this was happening. “Of course!”
He grinned at you as he ushered you towards a car. You got in with him and tried to take in the conversation between him and their driver that was ultimately lost on you. The driver took a sigh and drove and you noticed the way Seungkwan kept glancing at you. His hand found yours but after checking to see that the driver wasn’t watching he slid it over further to rest his hand on your thigh. He rubbed his thumb in slow circles on your thigh before you leaned over.
“What did you mean exactly by ‘hang out’?” you asked, not being able to help the way a grin tugged at your lips.
In response he kissed you, quickly but passionately, his hand squeezing your thigh.
He pulled away and chuckled at the slightly dazed look on your face. “Something like that.”
“Okay,” your said breathily, now very aware of his hand which had moved a little higher on your thigh.
He pretty quickly pulled you out of the car once you got to what you assumed was their hotel. He moved quickly through the lobby and to the elevator. You noticed the way he was biting his lip while he glanced at you and it made you wish there was no one else in the elevator. He pulled you out just as quickly and down the hall to his room. The second he had the door closed behind him his hands were on your waist and his lips found yours. He kissed you deeply and backed you into the wall as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. When he broke away from the kiss you were breathless and dazed.
“I have… wanted to do that all day,” he said.
“God I’m so glad you did,” you replied as your eyes focused on his plush lips before you pulled him back in for another kiss. You let your hands wander down his shoulders to his arms as he pressed closer to you and rocked his hips against yours. He let out a soft sigh into your kiss and said something quietly in Korean that you didn’t understand.
“Hmm?” you hummed against his lips.
He pulled back enough to look at you and blushed. “Don’t worry about it,” he blushed. You opened your mouth to protest but a small whine came out instead as his lips started to suck on your neck. His hands slid down your body and he grabbed your ass, pressing you closer. You could feel his bulge through his pants and it only served to turn you on more. He rolled his hips against yours moaning against your skin. He painted your neck in purple before kissing you deeply again as you started to pull him towards the bed.
You back against the bed and barely laid down before he crawled on top of you, ridding himself of his shirt before kissing you again. He pulled your shirt off between kisses and started to kiss down your body. He kissed the tops of your breasts and lifted you enough to get you out of your bra. He mumbled something against your skin before he sucked one of your nipples between his plush lips and you blushed as your ears registered the Korean word for beautiful. His hands slid down to waist and started to undo your belt. He helped you out of your jeans before settling between your legs. His hands trailed up your torso and he let his fingers trail over your nipples while he kissed further down your body. He peeked up at you as he went and took in the way you were arching into his touch.
He kissed along your inner thighs until you were squirming and giving him a pleading look.
“Seungkwan, please,” you whined.
He grinned up at you as he pulled your panties down slowly. He kissed slowly along your inner thighs until he was kissing right next to your core. You tried to roll your hips against him but he just chuckled and pulled away.
“Patience,” he hummed and you whined as he went back to teasing you, bringing a finger to tease your entrance. You let out a small whimper and tried to hold still, need him to move on from his teasing. You gave him the sweetest, most desperate look you could muster and he let out a whine before finally bringing his lips where you needed them. You let out a loud moan and bucked your hips his face and he held them down as he traced your clit with his tongue and pushed one finger into you.
He pumped his finger slowly, and soon added another as he moved his tongue too slow. You moaned for him to go faster and searched your memory to see if you knew the right word in Korean but one look at his smug grin and you realized he was doing it on purpose. You groaned and threw your head back, gripping the sheets as he slowly picked up the pace with his fingers. You cried out when he passed over a particularly good spot and he started to rub back and forth over it faster before sucking your clit between his lips.
You moaned out his name as you came on his fingers, bucking your hips against his hand and face. You whimpered as he pulled his fingers put slowly and moved to lap up your release until you were pulling away. He mumbled something against you and you hmm.
He looked up at you a blushed. “You, taste good,” he hummed, blushing slightly.
You smiled as you pulled him up towards you. You kissed him deeply and started to fumble with his belt. As soon as it was undone you helped him push down his pants and he kicked them off, still kissing you passionately.
He let out a loud moan as you took his cock into your hand and started to stroke him. He quickly stopped your hand and broke away from the kiss, scrambling for the words.
“I… if you… I might… um,” he was blushing deeply and grinned as you took in what he was saying.
“You might cum too fast?” you asked, pumping his cock again.
“Y-Yes,” he gasped up, trying to stop your hand again. “I want to…” he trailed off unsure of the words.
You kissed him sweetly before pulling him closer to you. “Me too.”
He started to grind his cock against you and you both let out moans at the feeling. You helped him to align himself with you before he slowly pushed in. He let his head fall into the crook of your neck and moaned as you gripped him tightly. He stayed still for a few moments as you both adjusted until you started to whine and move your hips. He pulled back and thrust into you slow and deep.
He worked up his pace slowly, leaving more kisses and love bites along your neck and collarbone. Your toes curled at the feeling as you moved your hips in time with him and started to moan out his name.
You could feel your second orgasm building and from the sound of his moans he was getting close too. “Fuck, Seungkwan, c-can you, your hand-”
You felt his grin against your skin as his fingers found your clit and started to rub it in quick, even circles.
You cried out as you came on his cock, holding him close through your orgasm. His thrusts grew sloppier and the way you were clenching around him had him cumming quickly after. You pulled him in to kiss you as he roll his hips into, riding out his own orgasm.
You were both panting as he rolled off of you and you started to come down from your highs.
“That was fantastic,” you breathed.
He smiled at you. “Yeah.” He tugged you little closer and you cuddled up to him. You had no idea if this would lead somewhere or if this meant anything at all but you could at least enjoy the cuddles while they lasted.
You decided that if that was a dream, it was the best dream you’d ever had.
#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen smut#seventeen one shot#svt#svt imagines#svt smut#seungkwan#seungkwan imagines#seungkwan smut#boo seungkwan#i had some fun with this but it was a challenge to do it well#sneaky-ash#i hope you like it#also i tried to post this once already and if it doesn't work imma scream
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The Wayne family
Sometimes, when I read Batman fanfiction, I wonder whether the writer has been reading the same comic books as I have. Because they paint a picture of a big, happy Wayne family where the kids are very close and sometimes the whole bunch even live together.
Now, I do know the difference between canon and fanfic. And I get that wishful thinking and selective reading plays a big part. But still, I'm curious where these conceptions come from.
Just to be clear. I do think of Bruces adopted/foster children as a family because they have a common father(figure). But they have not grown up together. It depends on what DC continuity you're playing with, of course, but most of them are in their teens when Bruce Wayne comes into their lives and they can’t have lived more than a few years with him. Several of them have not lived together. So even if I let my imagination run amok, I can't see them living at the Manor together as a tight-knit family, and I don't think all of them know each other very well.
Batman and Robin vol 2 # 10. By Peter Tomasi, art Patrick Gleason and Mick Gray.
Dick Grayson had moved out (or been kicked out, depending on what version you go with) when Jason Todd came along (and Bruce suffered from empty nest syndrome). Jason was dead when Tim Drake came into the picture, and Tim lived with his parents or boarding school in the beginning. Even if Dick kept in pretty close contact with Tim, he had a permanent home elsewhere.
Batman: Gotham Knights # 45. By Scott Beatty, art Roger Robinson and John Floyd.
I admit I haven't read a lot with Cassandra Cain. As far as I understand, after Flashpoint she has never lived in the Manor. Before Flashpoint, she was adopted, but I don’t believe she lived long in the Manor, and the only other Wayne adoptee she can have shared the home with is Tim.
Edit: At least, Bruce probably did have time to adopt Cass, even though he promised to do it in Batman: Redemption Road (2008), just before the story arc Batman RIP where he, presumedly, died. They certainly did not live together as a family for long.
Batgirl: Redemption Road # 6. By Adam Beechen, art Jim Calafiore and Jack Purcell.
I’m sure there are cute panels of Tim and Cass out there, but I’m picking some from comics I know of.
Batgirl # 50. By Dylan Horrocks, art Rick Leonardi and Jesse Delperdang.
Batman: Family # 7. By John Francis Moore, art Steve Lieber and Stefano Gaudiano.
Tim was an older teenager when Damian al Ghul/Wayne dropped into the house and immediately tried to get rid of Tim the hard way, and I don’t think they spent a long time under the same roof until Bruce "died", and soon after Tim left (at least partially).
Batman # 657. By Grant Morrison, art Andy Kubert and Jesse Delperdang.
Dick moved in with Damian and raised him (for about a year). When Bruce first came back he travelled with Batman Inc, and Dick and Damian continued to live together. There were times when you could find Bruce, Dick, Tim, Damian and Alfred in the Manor at the same time, but not living permanently together.
Batman & Robin vol 1 # 20. By Peter J. Tomasi, art Patrick Gleason and Mick Gray.
Now, Flashpoint, New 52 and Rebirth makes it even more impossible to puzzle together a credible timeline for everything Bruce Wayne is supposed to have done and everyone's relationship with each other. We’ll end up with Jason being Robin for about a month... But, anyway...
At the start of New 52, Dick has gone back to Nightwing and moved into his own flat in Gotham. He’ll continue to move around in different cities so he’s clearly not living with any other Wayne. By then, Cassandra is retconned out of the family and I haven’t seen any sign that Jason lives at the Manor with Bruce and Damian (and I don’t know about Tim either).
Fast forward into Rebirth, and Duke Thomas stayed and trained with Bruce for a while. If any of the other kids lived there at the same time is anybody's guess, but you can see the whole Bat-family (including, for instance, Stephanie Brown and Luke Fox) share a happy meal in the Manor, so at least they socialize from time to time. I’ve read somewhere that Duke since has moved in with relatives.
In canon right now, as far as I can make out, the only one who (at least sometimes and varying between the books) lives with Bruce and Alfred in the Manor is Damian.
Another fanon exaggeration on the opposite part of the scale, in my opinion, is the penchant for portraying Dick and Jason's relationship as extremely bad from the start.
There are three different versions of how they met before Flashpoint. The first time, when Jason was a circus-boy Dick clone, Dick originally wanted to take him in, but Bruce stepped in instead (DC needed a new Robin for Batman, after all). The second time, Bruce had fired Dick from Robin because he was shot by the Joker and then promptly picked up Jason, after Dick had left. The third time (Nightwing Year One), Bruce fired Dick and kicked him out (I tend to ignore this version mostly, to be honest, because Bruce is ridiculously much of an ass here) and then, as you know, took in Jason.
And it's not that Dick loves Jason straight away, or the fact Bruce took in a new Robin by the blink of an eye, in the two later versions. But he still gives Jason his old Robin suit and his phone number in version two and in version three, they part on decent terms, and Dick tells Bruce (by recording) that he could have done worse.
After that, they hardly meet before Jason is killed because Dick is working with the Titans and doesn't live in Gotham. Pre-Crisis on Infinite Earths Jason helped the New Teen Titans a few issues (Dick was busy getting in the hands of Brother Blood and being brainwashed, at the time) in New Teen Titans vol 2 # 20–31. And there is a snapshot of Dick and Jason hanging out as civilians in Nightwing vol 2 issue 63. That's about it.
Nightwing vol 2 # 63. By Chuck Dixon, art Trevor McCarthy and Karl Kesel.
Then, of course, Jason came back from the dead slightly unhinged (2005). I don't know the whole picture of meetings or confrontations between the Bat-kids between Jason's comeback and Flashpoint (2011). I do know he dressed up as Nightwing and killed people in Nightwing vol 2 # 118–122. When Jason was abducted, Dick struggled a bit with the question "Is it ethical for me to save someone who's a danger to society?" before he went to save Jason. In the end, Jason sends a telegram where he says "Thanks for coming for me, brother. I know we don't agree on much. I just wanted to believe we could be family again." Tim and Dick also had a confrontation with Jason in Teen Titans (2003) # 47, and Dick and Jason had a not very amicable meeting in the Outsiders v 3 # 44.
Nightwing vol 2 # 118 –122. By Bruce Jones, art Joe Dodd, Paco Diaz, BIT and Nathan Massengill.
And then we have Battle for the Cowl, where Jason shot Damian, left Tim for dead and tried to kill Dick after he had refused to become Robin to Jason's Batman. (I guess there are Jason fans out there who think that Dick was not justified to put Jason in jail after that. Obviously, I'm not one of them, but if anyone dislikes these years in canon and decides to ignore it to the best if their ability, who am I to judge?)
So, the Wayne boys definitely had a partly antagonistic, partly close, partly distant relationship. After Flashpoint, I think it has in been portrayed as better. At least, I haven't seen them try to kill each other... Tim calls Damian "gremlin", Jason is Damian's secret mentor (or so I've seen somewhere), they sometimes meet on the rooftops and work together. On the other hand, the previously close relationship between Dick and Tim seems pretty much forgotten. (Let's hope they start remembering that soon again.)
Detective Comics # 975. By James Tynion IV, art Raul Fernandez and Alvaro Martinez.
Somewhere in Batman and Robin Eternal, Jason says that Tim is the only of the other Robins that he likes. (I honestly don't know where that came from, I never noticed them seeing eye to eye before. Still, it's not like I've read every Bat comic ever printed. But then, I rather believe the same goes for a number of DC writers... Edit: I’ve been informed that it’s probably from a flashback in an issue of Red Hood and the Outlaws.) In RH and the outlaws annual 1 (I think that’s the only issue of that series I’ve read, to be honest), Jason narrates that there was a time when he would have killed Dick on sight. "Not my proudest moment. We've made up since then." They have a complicated relationship, but they are still somehow clearly brothers, and Jason thinks back to when he saw the Flying Graysons perform and how Dick was a hero to him then (another retcon after Flashpoint). As far as I know, it's the only post-Flashpoint retelling of how Jason and Dick met, and the story is that Alfred puts Jason in Dick's room so he wouldn't have to clean a new one. Dick is not happy to find someone in his bed when he comes home to visit. They fight. Honestly, I can't imagine Alfred doing that, so that's one version of the canon I’m happy to overlook...
On the other hand, we have Jason and Dick hanging out on the rooftops in Blüdhaven in Nightwing vol 4 # 15, and Dick, Jason and Damian certainly bicker like siblings (together with Duke) in Batman vol 3 # 16 and # 33.
Nightwing vol 4 # 15. By Tim Seeley, art Minkyu Jung.
Batman vol 3 # 16. By Tom King, art David Finch.
On the whole, I think the only thing you can be sure of about the relationships between the Wayne family members these days is that it varies quite a bit between titles and writers and has had its ups and downs over the years. But that they have never lived together as one big, happy family.
Of course, all this is based on the comic books I’ve read, and there might very well be stories out there that paint a different picture. But on the whole, I’m pretty confident that this panel is about as close to a happy family gathering we’ve seen. And then it’s not only the Waynes but the Bat family.
Batman and the Signal. By Scott Snyder and Tony Patrick, art Cully Hamner.
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is that [JOE KEERY]? no, that’s just [ELVIE CROFT]. [HE/HIM] is [TWENTY-FIVE] years old and is a [NIGHT JANITOR AT CURTAIN CALL]. rumor has it they’ve been in town for [ONE MONTH]. on a good day, they’re [JOCUND & PERSPICACIOUS]. but watch out! they can also be [SCATTERBRAINED & OBSTREPEROUS]. [SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS] plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around Springhill! [sam, 23, est, she/her]
hey there demons! *ba dum tss* i’m sam and this is one of my favorite muses ever so without further ado, character info is under the cut and please message me if you would like to plot!
i. stats
full name:elvin tupelo croft
preferred names:el, elvie, spooky guy
hometown:salem, massachusetts
date of birth:october 31st, 1994
age: twenty - five
zodiac:scorpio
orientation:demisexual
occupation:night janitor at curtain call movie theater
pos. traits:jocund, perspicacious, loyal, open - minded.
neg. traits:scatterbrained, obstreperous, flippant
ii. history
elvin tupelo “elvie” croft was born in salem, massachusetts ( yes, really ) on halloween day ( yes, really ). he's an only child and his father is the district attorney for essex county, massachusetts while his mother owns a small local business that sells witchcraft supplies such as crystals, herbs, grimoires, and more. interesting fact: she’s the descendant of an accused witch, meaning that elvie is as well.
as it turns out, beneath of the surface of the few tourist attractions that it has to offer, salem has a small town, stuck in the past vibe. it’s the sort of place where everyone knows everyone all their lives because no one ever leaves and no one ever moves in. he grew up in this…eccentric…environment, living in the same house all his life and only ever leaving to visit his grandparents in boston.
he was five years old when he saw his first horror movie ( an apathetic teenage babysitter let him stay up long past his bedtime to watch nightmare on elm street ) and from that moment on he was HOOKED.
when he started school, two things about him became apparent: 1) he was highly intelligent and 2) he struggled greatly with tasks such as sitting still and staying focused. he was tested ( a few times, much to his irritation ) and it turns out that he has a genius level iq and adhd.
he could have been one of those child prodigies who finished high school at the age of ten and then college at the age of fourteen, BUT his parents decided that they didn’t want him to miss out on the experience of going through school with peers his own age.
HOWEVER, as the smartest kid in class with glasses and braces and an insatiable obsession with all things horror and halloween, he…was picked on. mercilessly. he never had many friends, but he was content to go right home after school and spend the rest of the day reading comic books or watching horror movies or researching local urban legends and paranormal stories.
so, when he got to his senior year of high school, he was a shoe - in to be named class valedictorian ( he was ) and he was even getting ivy league offers. of course, his parents mainly his father were really pushing him to attend college and elvie, genius level iq and all…didn’t want to go. he had a van ( a turquoise monstrosity painted to look like the mystery machine ) and he just wanted to drive. alas, his dad was absolutely NOT having it.
he attended harvard for both his pre law and law school studies, breezed through classes, graduated with honors at the top of his class and once he passed the bar exam there were countless job offers waiting for him. elvie ignored them all and finally embarked on that road trip he had been meaning to take.
he’s been on the road for about a year now and he’s traveled all over the country. he often breezes into a town or a city, lives in his van, and takes up some odd jobs to squeeze a few dollars out of before he inevitably gets fired for messing up or not taking the work seriously or getting high on the job. he arrived in springfield a month ago, continuing his pattern or having fun and exploring somewhere he’s never been before.
iii. extras
his name is elvin but basically no one ever calls him that. his own parents don’t even particularly like the name. long story. most people call him elvie and some who are super close to him just call him el.
BIG RYAN BERGARA ENERGY. a huge believer in the paranormal and urban legends, and one of his favorite things to do when he goes somewhere new is check out the local cemeteries and haunted locales. unlike ryan, the poor guy he’s definitely NOT a scaredy cat in fact, all his life there’s been this running joke that he doesn’t seem to be scared of anything, and who knows? maybe he isn’t.
has the most cartoonishly exaggerated boston accent that one could ever hope to hear, except he doesn’t seem to realize it at all.
10/31 blaze it he’s a HUGE stoner.
he’s got jokes. stay vigilant.
he’s OBSESSED with all things horror, halloween, and 80s. he makes a lot of film references that are often so obscure that most people don’t even catch them.
he’s a lawyer! at least in the state of massachusetts. however, this is not at all common knowledge because…
most people don’t know how smart he actually is as he intentionally plays dumb and he’s really good at it. being high all the time and his natural chaotic energy is quite helpful in hiding his intelligence. he just doesn’t like to be seen as smart, so the whole once - brilliant law student thing? not common knowledge whatsoever. he tries not to mention the college he attended by name at all, but if he has to then he lies and says that he went to salem state.
and yes, he has SO MUCH chaotic energy. he’s the kind of person who will stick a fork in his microwave just to see what would happen out of sheer boredom. he has two pet mexican redknee tarantulas named freddy and jason who he just…fucking loses track of every other day. his favorite drink is literally black coffee mixed together with a can of monster energy and 5 ( f i v e ) teaspoons of sugar. he is c h a o s. he has absolutely NO IMPULSE CONTROL whatsoever.
he has slight Daddy Issues™. slight. when he was born, his dad was hoping that he would get a star athlete kid who would go on to follow in his footsteps and one day become a successful, respectable lawyer but instead he got…elvie. he’s never outright said that he’s disappointed but he didn’t need to. elvie’s a really difficult person to rattle but every time, without fail, he ends a phone call with his dad and he’s in a bad mood for the rest of the day.
his car is this PIECE OF JUNK giant turquoise van that he painted to look like the mystery machine. her name is laurie strode.
even though he makes constant pop culture references about horror movies and the 80s, but outside of those areas he’s completely clueless about pop culture. like, he can recite the entire scripts of the shining and empire strikes back and ferris bueller’s day off word for word, but if someone tried to talk to him about the new beyonce song or the latest marvel movie he would just stare blankly.
he has a HUGE sweet tooth. his favorite food is halloween candy and his favorite candy is black licorice disgusting i know.
he takes adderall for his adhd and he’s usually good about keeping up with it. started keeping them on his person in college because he realized that his meds were getting stolen and it’s a habit he’s held onto that doesn’t really keep his shit from getting stolen.
he’s good at…A LOT of things because he’s a really fast learner. he can play the guitar, he can draw, he did drama in high school. he just has to watch someone do something once and then he can usually immediately do it himself. this skill doesn’t extend to physical activities such as sports, however. he’s terrible at those.
he’s basically a cartoon character
iv. wanted connections
best friend from salem who travels with him *will probably submit as a wc
friends
cousin ( their grandparents would probably be from boston but otherwise anything really goes for this )
his weed dealer
smoking buddies
people who don’t like him / find him annoying
i know there are a lot of business owners so : people he worked for who have since fired him for being an all around awful employee.
has stolen his adderall
maybe someone who knows how smart he really is
romantic connections!
( these are just ideas and i’m trash at coming up with these, so please don’t feel limited by what’s listed here. )
#springhillintro#bullying tw#drugs tw#medication tw#tl;dr what if shaggy from scooby doo was a real person
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Used to Be Overlooked. Chapter 21.
Summary: Steve Rogers was walking down the streets of Brooklyn after finishing a mission. The goal was just to take some time to clear his mind along the city streets, but when he runs into a gorgeous young lady that looks extremely familiar… How can he go about moving on? Who is she? What does he know her from? Was that memory even from this decade?
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (Rosalyn Ember/ Y/N ?)
Word Count: 3100+
A/N:I haven’t proof read this one all the way through, so I apologize in advance for errors! I will do it later today to double check! Enjoy and feedback is welcome!!!
Series Masterlist
Chapter 21:
You felt an ache throughout your whole body as you slowly started to wake. You felt weak. Drained. So weak that opening your eyes was the equivalent to lifting 3 tons of cement. You tried moving, but your muscles weren’t obeying. All that happened was a small twitch of your arm.
The small movement did more than you thought it would. It gave you a feeling of a strap across your middle that went from one arm over your torso to your other arm, effectively keeping you in one place.
As you struggled to move more, you heard a large metal door creak open. You stopped fighting realizing that looking unconscious may help you more right now.
“She’s secure?” the voice you knew well asked.
“Yes sir. We have her hooked up to monitor her heart rate, blood pressure, and also to start the transfusion when ready,” the dweeby voice of the assistant you grew to hate said. Now sounding older and more frail.
“Perfect. Wait until she’s awake. I want her to be able to talk to her before she passes out again,” the deep voice said proudly and getting closer to you. “Oh Miss. Y/N Erskine. I finally have you now, don’t I?” You felt a hand come up and gently caress a knuckle down your cheek. You would have cringed at the motion had you had the energy or ability to. “You look as if you haven’t even aged. Impressive,” he chuckled. “Still as stunning as ever, but that’s no surprise.”
“Um, Dr. Bates? Security was trying to get ahold of you for-”
“What now?” he huffed walking away and stomping loudly.
The doors opened again, and you heard the single set of footsteps leave. You waited a second to hear for any further noise. When you heard equipment moving you figured it was the little sidekick of Bates.
Edgar. He was always so obedient to Bates. He was annoying as hell and didn’t have a mind for himself, but deep down, you always felt for him. No matter how cruel he was to you all those years ago. He was very much a follower and was always lost in following a path of his own. You knew if you talked to him, and tried to convince him of doing good you could probably push him in the right direction, but whenever you did, he would always find some way to shut you up.
After a lot of energy focused on moving your head, you were able to roll it to face the other side of the room. That movement lead to you getting a little more power as you woke your muscles up. You slowly began opening your eyes and blinking gradually.
Again, your energy started becoming more and more powerful. You opened your mouth and were able to talk in a hushed whisper to start.
“I see he’s still got you whipped,” your voice was hoarse and quite, but he still heard, quickly turning to you.
He was shy. Didn’t say much to you. He turned giving you a look before looking down at the gadget he was playing with ignoring you.
“Not much of a talker still too. Wow. It’s as if nothing has changed.” Again he ignored you. You cleared your voice as best as you could and continued to talk. “Bate’s is still obsessed with me. Still can’t seem to understand science. Then you still don’t have a mind of your own. Still following him around like a lost puppy waiting for instruction, Edgar?”
He turned back giving you a glare and moving to the IV that was in your arm. You looked up seeing it was attached to some blue liquid, but couldn’t place what it was.
“Why are you doing this Edgar? How are you still even alive?” you asked looking back at him.
You just now got to processing him. He was old and hunched over from age. His sandy blond hair was no longer that, and was a deep grey now. Wrinkles were prominent on his face showing just how long he had been alive. Probably late 70’s. I mean he was just a kid when you first met him. Almost 60 years had passed.
“Boss helped me. I’m functioning better than I should be,” he answered never looking at you, but instead, fidgeting with the dose of the blue serum.
“Don’t tell me you’ve been doing this all these years,” you sighed rolling your eyes. He didn’t answer. “Of course you have. Why would I think differently?”
You turned taking in the room around you.
It was a high tech lab. Tables of computers, chemicals, utensils, and so much more. You looked down seeing you were strapped to a table with three big giant black leather straps; while the table sat up at an angle to where you were close to standing if you weren’t off the ground.
“You could have got out of this Edgar. Had a family. Kids. Lived your life, not-”
“Awake I see?” that damn voice said again walking in with a satisfied stride. “Are you tormenting Edgar still? It truly is like old times, isn't it?” He said with a smug smirk as he walked up to you.
“Garrison Bates.” The bane of your existence. The tall dark brown peppered gray hair, brown eyed, clean shaved face, of the man you once loved, and now despise. “What a tragedy to see you again,” you said with a fake smile before letting it fall and rolling your eyes.
“Easy there Y/N. You keep that up and I’ll think you’re flirting with me,” he said lifting your chin with his index finger like earlier.
“Touch me and you won’t have fingers to work with,” you seethed.
“Oh my, I see that fire in you hasn’t dimmed after all these years. Got to say, I admire it,” he said placing his hand behind his back and walking over to the computer Edgar was at earlier. “Your vital signs all look good and ready to go.”
“Go for what-”
“Edgar, you can start the serum,” he said ignoring you and nodding to his assistant. Edgar nodded back and added another IV to your other arm.
“What are you doing?” you said trying to wiggle, but the straps weren’t helping with your low energy thing.
“Adding a little something to help slow the healing process. Can’t have you healing up as I extract blood. We do that and you’ll be fighting us. Got to keep you slow,” Garrison explained crossing his legs as he wheeled a chair over to you. “Now let’s talk about how exquisite you look. You’ve only gotten better with the times, Y/N. Aged like very fine wine,” he said looking you up and down. You looked down realizing that you were in your sports bra and leggings. Your tank top and hoodie were gone leaving you more exposed than you liked.
You scoffed looking back at Garrison who was biting his lip at you.
“Can’t say the same for you Garrison. What? It’s been 60 years give or take… Doesn’t look like you’ve been aging as well as me, and wasn’t that the whole purpose?” you sassed.
He jumped from his chair and stood inches from you. Anger painting his face.
“Maybe if you would just give me the formula, I wouldn’t be like this. Instead, you keep it for yourself like the selfish brat you are,” he gritted through his teeth.
“There’s a reason I don’t give out the formula. So slimy, power hungry, self-centered, egotistical FAT HEADS like you, don’t get their hands on it,” you said each word like the diss it was. This man was a horrible excuse for a human, and only wanted the information out of you for the pieces of immortality it served.
His expression hardened, before turning softer.
“You always knew how to rile me up didn’t you Y/N/N… Well, I won’t give you the satisfaction,” he breathed turning around. “Edgar, how’s it going?”
“Almost done…” he paused. You looked down seeing him flip a switch and the new liquid start to flow into the IV. “There. All set sir.”
“Great. Now Y/N, you are going to be feeling a tad bit woozy in the next few seconds, but don’t worry I’ll make this as fast as possible. Kinda need to get a move on things.”
“What are you-” then it hit you. The cold fluid started moving through your veins. You took a deep breath in at the sting it left.
“Yeah, it doesn't feel too great. We’ll let that run for a second before extracting some blood. Just need to see how your cells react to it,” he explained walking circles around the table you were propped on. You tried to follow his movement with your eyes, but your head fell back in exhaustion. You were weak again. “We have quite the plans for you. I have it all mapped out too. Only downside is-”
“The Avengers,” you answered quietly.
“Good job, dollface.” You grimaced at the nickname. “The only time I could really pounce on you was at the Avengers compound. Trust me, I wanted to do it another time, but when duty calls, you pick up the phone,” he shrugged. “Anyway, because of that little ‘issue’ we are going to have to relocate every once in a while. Can’t have them getting close now can we?”
He brushed some hair out of your face, and you closed your eyes in disgust at the contact.
“Speaking of getting close. It looks like you and Captain America have been growing pretty fond of each other.” He paused for a reaction but you didn’t give one. “Awe, now don’t go all timid on me now. I mean the way he looked at you in that dress, and the way you looked at him in his little suite. It was cute. Can’t say I wasn’t jealous though. You looked at him in a way you never looked at me,” he shrugged. He had been there, and you were too oblivious to notice. This is why you were nervous to let your guard down in the first place. Look where it led you. “But the dress… That’s what threw me over the edge. You were-”
“Shut. Up,” you mumbled.
“Hush now. I’m trying to compliment you.”
“Don’t. I don’t want your compliments.”
“Fine. Have it your way hardhead,” he said throwing his hands up in fake surrender. “Edgar, how long?”
“14 minutes sir.”
“Perfect. I’ll be right back. You take care of her now Edgar. Can’t have my little experiment getting away. Again.” He walked over you cupping your now dangling head in his hand. “Come now Y/N. Did you ever thing you would be able to hide that easily?”
Your eyes were heavy but your were able to send him a glare still. He smirked before dropping your head not so gently and turned out the door with a new stride.
Next thing you knew, everything faded into black.
___
“Update Nat,” Steve said coming toward the front of the plane where Clint and her were flying.
“Nothing new yet. Security sent the camera shots with the car that we think may have been theirs and we are tracking from there. We should have a location in about 3-4 minutes,” Nat explained as she continued to click away on the tablet on the side.
“Did they really think they could get that far? What if this is all to easy?” Sam asked as he strapped his suit on.
“I don’t know, but any lead is still a lead. I would rather show up to an empty spot than not go at all and risk missing her,” Steve said hanging his head as he placed his hands on his belt. Something he did when concentrated on a mission.
Wanda walked over placing a calming hand on his shoulder.
“Steve. We’ll find her. They may think they have the jump on us, but we got Stark’s technology. We have the upper hand,” she smiled up at him.
He turned his head and gave her a soft smile.
“Thanks Wanda,” he said patting her hand. “I’m just scared on why they took her,” he paused thinking it over and then looking to Tony. “You don’t think they know-”
“I have a good feeling that if they took her from our home, they know,” Tony said bluntly. “Hate to tell ya Cap, but I don’t really have another explanation.”
He nodded knowing he was right, but not really wanting to hear it.
“Cap, I got something!” Nat shouted making Steve run back to the front.
___
“How’s it looking Edgar?” you hear Garrison’s voice say from the side, but it almost felt like a dream.
It was like the first time you were knocked out. You had no energy to show you were awake. Everything was heavy and your body wasn’t listening to any commands you were giving it.
“Good. I ended the serum and drew some blood for the sampling. I tested to see if the chemicals from the serum would effect modifying her blood for dissecting the formula and it looks like it did the job we were hoping for. I think we finally got it,” Edgar answered.
“We got it?”
“Yes sir. I believe we did.”
“Finally,” Garrison said in an evil tone. “Go ahead and start the blood extraction. I want a few pints before we start the transfusion to be safe.”
“Yes sir.”
“And Edgar? Good job. You finally did something right,” You heard footsteps coming to you and instead of stopping and silence, you felt a rough hand grab your cheeks and push your head up. “Wakey, wakey, dollface. It’s time for the games to begin.”
You tried blinking your eyes open and a groan made a way through your lips.
“That’s it. Welcome back bug,” he said once you opened them wide enough to see his evil grin. “I wanted you to be awake for the next part. You know, to catch up and all.”
“Screw. You,” you said almost winded by the energy it took.
“I’m sure you would love that,” he grinned again before throwing your head to the side.
You felt a pinch, and then saw a red line of where your blood was being drawn into blood bags.
“What happened to us Y/N? I mean, I thought we had it good. Then one day you spill your little secret to me, and then the next you’re three states over and moving every time I catch up to you,” he said unbuttoning his suit jacket, and throwing it over the chair that was next to you.
“Well,” you sighed. “It would help if after I had told you, you didn’t try dissecting me like a 6th grade science experiment for your own entertainment.”
“Entertainment? That’s what you thought I saw it as?” You shot him a tired glare which just made him tisk at you. “Darling, I loved you. We dated for what? 1958’-1960’? 2 whole years. Now back in those days, we might as well have been married and popping out little ones,” he said un-cuffing his wrist cuffs and rolling his sleeves to his elbows. “Then when you came to me telling me you had a little secret… Oh, I was scared. I thought we were pregnant out of wedlock, or you were cheating or something. Little did I know,” he brushed your hair out of your face. “You had a gift to give instead. The gift of near immortality.”
“It’s not a gift Garrison. It’s a curse,” you said staring deep into his eyes hoping he would catch on.
“I wouldn’t know. You never helped me understand,” he shrugged pushing away.
“I tried showing you! You just saw the parts you wanted!” you shouted best you could. It came out more hoarse and broken than you hoped, but the feelings of anger and disappointment were still prominent. “This isn’t a life you want Garrison. It’s not living at all-”
“YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT I WANT!” he shouted when he turned back to you.
You shrunk back in your spot. Face still stern, but not expecting that intense of a reaction. You looked over at Edgar who had retreated into himself, and did his best to make himself near to invisible in the corner. There was a long pause before Garrison continued. He ran a hand through his brown hair, and slightly messed it up with the gel that was holding it. You could finally see the age now. He was probably 10-20 years older than you in body years, and he looked to be in his 40’s. Which was still impressive considering he was actually nearing 80′s and 90′s.
“I loved you. I wanted a life with you. I wanted to grow with you. The only way to do that was to become like you,” he whispered.
Your eyes widened. That was the reason? That was why he tortured you, and treated you the way he did? That wasn’t love. That-That was- Hell, who knows?
“Why did you do the things you did then?” you whispered back. “You tore me apart.”
“You wouldn’t listen,” he answered standing straighter. “You wanted me to fix you, when I didn’t see something to fix.”
“Garrison-”
“Edgar. Are you almost ready?” he said composing himself, and not letting you see him vulnerable anymore.
“Y-Yes sir. We, uh, we can begin the transfusion,” Edgar stuttered.
“Good. Hook me up,” he walked over to the chair sat next to you, and rolled his sleeves up more so Edgar could insert the needle.
“This isn’t the answer. There is something bigger here, and you know it.” you said looking down at him, but he didn’t budge. He continued to look forward as Edgar worked around him. “I’m sorry you see it this way,” you said softly before throwing your head softly back on the cold metal table. You closed your eyes as you felt exhaustion start to overtake you again.
__
“Okay Cap. This is the place the license plate led us,” Clint said landing the quin-jet a good distance away. “The likelihood of them being able to move before we got here is low.”
“What about the likelihood of this being the place?” Steve asked looking out into the forested area.
“There was only one other pairs of cars that left the compound around the time Y/N was taken, and we already tracked seeing that those were harmless. Just agents going into the field and visitors going back home,” Nat answered.
“Ok. So this is it?” Steve said as the back opened.
“99% sure. The only thing now is where in that building,” Clint said as they all lined up.
“And that’s where I come in,” Tony said as the helmet of his suit shut. “I’m going to do a perimeter check and scan of the building with Friday. I’ll have a room for you in 2 minutes tops.”
Next thing, Tony was off in the skies.
“Ok team, we need to do this quickly and efficiently. We don’t know why they took Y/N, and we don’t know what they’ve done to her. We need to secure her first before we take care of the individuals responsible for this.” Steve instructed putting his helmet on. “If you find her before anyone else does, bring her right back here. Bruce you stay here unless code green is needed, and when Y/N is brought back, do a check on her alongside the nurses. She’ll want a familiar face.”
“Got it,” Bruce nodded placing his arms over his chest.
“Romanoff and Barton, you two stay together. Get to a security room to give us eyes on the inside. Vision, Sam, and Stark will work the sky and keep a birds eye view of everything around, and take out anyone who poses a threat, looks like they are going to give us away, or tries to get away.”
Sam and Vision nodded their heads and started to make their way through the forest before taking off with Stark. Steve turned back to the last two avengers.
“Wanda, Bucky, you’re with me. Let’s go get her,” he nodded, getting the same look from them. They turned leaving the jet and started racing to find the bunker where you were being held in.
Chapter 22
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Overpowered Part 3 (Branjie)-athena2
A/N: Thank you all for the great feedback on Chapter 2! This chapter is a little angsty, but I hope you like it! Any feedback you have would be amazing, it really means a lot to me. ***This chapter has a mild panic attack, implied abuse, and discussion of medication.*** I also made some Brooke and Vanessa moodboards for this fic! Find them on my tumblr @buffywhovianpotterlock.
I’m surprised you’re still functioning.
We made the drugs that made you.
Precious little Frost.
She throws the weighted blanket off with a sigh, Vanessa following. “Can’t sleep either?”
Brooke shakes her head.
“I want to read it now.” She’s been tossing and turning since she told Vanessa she was ready, and she’s ready now. She has to know. She digs through her dresser.
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure. You’ll do it with me? Please?”
Brooke can lift a car over her head, but nothing could ever be heavier than this folder.
“Of course.” They drop down at the kitchen table.
Brooke has been picturing this moment since she asked Nina for advice, the older woman’s voice filling her head.
The file might give you some closure. But, given what happened last time, it’s likely it could cause another flashback. We could look at it here, or you can do it on your own if you’d like, but be aware you might respond negatively.
It’s what she figured Nina would say, an answer that wasn’t really an answer.
“Tell me if it’s too much, okay? Promise?” Vanessa asks, grabbing her hand.
“Promise.”
Her free hand flips the folder open. The vaguely familiar words burn her eyes as she wades through medical terms of the injuries from the plane crash last March. A broken leg, broken arm, 3 broken ribs, collapsed lung, internal bleeding, and several cuts to her body. Does she feel the pain from those broken bones now, or is she imagining it? She touches the thick white scar on her chest absently.
She suddenly remembers a drainage tube between her ribs (she has a small scar there too) and the long scar down her chest, and white tabs stuck to her skin, connected to monitors that beeped piercingly, and pain like someone had carved her chest open and pieced it together with Scotch tape. Then the doctor put something in her IV, and it all went black.
“You good?”
Brooke jumps. She’d forgotten Vanessa was there. “Yeah. So far it’s just what happened after the crash.”
Subject name removed from flight list. No survivors. Flight list not released, subject will be presumed dead if any inquiries. Subject’s public records here (pgs 2-8), scrubbed from databases.
She turns the page. Scans of her birth certificate and driver’s license. She’s Canadian? A fight between her and Vanjie runs through her head, Vanjie grinning and teasing her for saying “soar-y”.
Newspaper clippings. Maybe there’s something about her before, or her family— she hits two obituaries. Her parents. She can’t read the rest. She just can’t.
Brooke should feel something, she knows she should. But she can’t remember. Nothing at all, not even a flash. It’s just an empty space inside her where she knows the memories should be.
She moves on hastily. Hytes New Co-Director of Toronto Ballet Company. She remembers the feeling of her feet in ballet shoes, but co-director?
The clippings are ghosts of her old life and she can’t take the haunting anymore. Brooke moves to lists of dates, starting when they took her and continuing until this summer. Her dosages, her exams, her training, her missions. The first rows cover her progress healing and responding to the drugs. Drugs that the two men she met hours ago had made for her and countless others. Her stomach twists painfully and she jumps ahead.
5/30/2018: Subject at healthy weight, physically approved to begin training. 10% accuracy with ice blasts.
Brooke remembers the row of bright red targets. His voice thunders in her ears. “You have until October to get half those targets.” It’s a command.
8/13/2018: Subject having nightmares, inquiring about old life. Subject sedated, given 100mg dosage in IV overnight. Had no memory of asking questions after waking.
She skips over training logs, punishments, and medical data. It’s like reading about someone else. She has vague images of the events, but they’re getting stronger and clearer as she reads.
10/1/2018: Subject achieved 65% target accuracy, no punishment required.
“Maybe that’s enough.”
“I’m f-fine.”
11/19/2018: Training complete. 100% accuracy, blast strength increased. Dosage (10mg) steady and effective. Subject compliant and approved for field missions.
It’s all here. Labs she’d broken into. Weapons and technology she’d stolen. Every injury, every new drug sample. Records of fights with Black Diamond, with Shuga Rush, with–her heart skips a beat–Vanjie.
And the last one. The very last one before Vanessa saved her and took her away from them.
7/7/2019: Vitals steady. Subject compliant. Dosage to remain doubled until further notice.
“Brooke?” She can hardly hear Vanessa.
“These are all the bad things I did. ”
“Baby, no. Those things weren’t you.”
She shakes her head, heart straining her chest.
“You want to make us proud on your first mission, don’t you?”
She nods.
“Remember, if you fail, that’s bad. You know what happens when you’re bad.”
“I won’t fail, General.”
“Brooke!”
Her lungs are on fire, burning all her air. 5 things she can see.
She sees the kitchen wall across from her but it’s tilted–Vanessa is holding her tightly, stopping her from falling off the chair she’s half-out of. She pulls herself upright, eyes absorbing the wooden table as her breathing slows.
“Are you okay?” Vanessa tenderly brushes sweaty hair off Brooke’s forehead.
“Y-Yeah.”
“You need to get some sleep.”
“So do you,” Brooke says quietly. All Vanessa does is take care of her, worry about her, and Brooke knows she hasn’t done enough to help, especially with the vision. Vanessa’s been through bad shit like her and is suffering in ways Brooke can’t imagine, but she’s always so strong, iron forged in fire–
“Less thinking, more sleeping,” Vanessa insists, leading Brooke to bed.
Their bodies intertwine under the blankets, but neither sleeps. —
“Brooke, come here!” Vanessa yells around a mouthful of pumpkin brownie, tapping on the window.
On the street below, a sea of kids in bright colors weave in and out of pumpkins and decorations. She doesn’t know what she’s supposed to look at, until-
“Are they…”
Vanessa nods.
Two little girls head down the sidewalk. One wears a red suit with a V on the chest, the other in familiar royal blue, and she can just see the neon F.
“We’re legit heroes now, baby,” Vanessa grins, but her tears mirror Brooke’s own.
Their lips meet and Vanessa tastes like chocolate.
She thinks it’s the first time they’ve both forgotten about the vision. —
There’s been small earthquakes and electrical damage around the city, but no sightings of Quake or Shockwave.
Their nights are spent tackling common criminals beneath an inky sky.
She watches Vanjie scream at robbers and would-be murderers while desperately beating the crap out of them like it’s the only thing reminding her she’s still alive. The only thing keeping her alive.
Vanessa is suffering but Brooke has no idea how to help.
It’s like watching someone drown but being unable to save them.
Vanessa isn’t eating. Her eyes are rimmed with shadows. Her skin is painted purple and blue from all the fighting.
She doesn’t want to talk about it, and Brooke doesn’t want to force her.
Vanessa is close to breaking, and as much as Brooke wants to shatter, she can’t.
Sometimes she can’t even look at Vanessa without wanting to cry because she may never see her again.
Brooke’s heart is made of glass, but she needs to let it ice over before Vanessa burns herself out.
Because even though they have time, Brooke feels like she’s losing Vanessa already. —
It’s probably a stupid idea, but it has A’Keria’s blessing, so there’s hope.
Brooke works while Vanessa showers. She moves chairs and couch cushions and blankets until she has a sturdy blanket fort. She arranges fluffy pillows underneath, lays out the potato-chip cookies she’d made, and gets The Notebook set up.
Brooke is waiting when she emerges from the bathroom in her pajamas. “I have a surprise,” she says, covering Vanessa’s eyes. “Sorry about the cold hands.”
“I’m used to it. And there better not be any haunted house shit in here. Halloween’s over.”
“Nothing scary, I promise.” She removes her hands and watches Vanessa’s eyes get big, Brooke’s heart growing with them.
“Brooke.” Her hand goes to her mouth. “How did you…A’Keria,” she answers herself as she slides under the fort. “Damn. I love you so much. I don���t know how I got this lucky.”
“I’m the lucky one,” Brooke says as she nestles beside her. “So, um, I wanted to ask how you’re doing? Be honest.”
Vanessa shrugs and stares at the cookies. Brooke’s never seen her at such a loss for words. “I…I don’t know. I’m pissed–not at Yvie, it’s not her fault–but at everything, I guess, and I’m confused and sad and really fucking tired of it all, honestly.”
Brooke nods. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But if you want to talk-”
“I know you want to help, but I don’t want to talk. Please.” Her voice gets small and Brooke’s heart aches for her. “I usually love screaming about my problems and feelings and shit, and I know everyone thinks it’ll help to talk about it, but I just can’t. I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed.”
“It’s fine,” she sighs. “I just want to watch this movie and have you hold me.”
“Of course.” She presses play as Vanessa curls into her side, Brooke’s arms steadying around her, feeling how tense she is.
It didn’t go quite as she planned, but Vanessa falls asleep with a smile on her face, so it wasn’t a total failure. —
“You seem a little distracted. Anything you want to talk about?” Nina’s voice drips with concern and Brooke wants to tell her. She should tell her.
She shrugs, fingers digging into the squeeze ball.
“Anything at all?”
“Meds,” Brooke mumbles, finally bringing them up like she’d told Vanessa she would a month ago.
“Something in particular about them?”
Another shrug.
“Can you give me a little something to go on?” Nina asks gently.
“I think I want to take them,” Brooke says eventually, eyes on her lap.
If Nina is surprised, she hides it well. “Okay. Did something happen that caused you to want them? You seem a little hesitant, and I want to make sure you’re confident and comfortable before I prescribe anything.”
She’s about to shrug again when she can’t keep it quiet anymore. “I…I’m just sick of it! I’m sick of sweating in the grocery store and thinking I’m gonna have a heart attack when I leave the house! I’m sick of the panic attacks and the headaches and not sleeping and I…” The outburst quickly drains her and her next words are a whisper. “I just want to be better.”
Nina is quiet.
“I’m s–I’m sorry I yelled. I didn’t mean to.”
“You don’t have to apologize for feeling.” Nina pauses. “Brooke, I’m so incredibly proud of you. I want to say that first because I think you need to hear it.”
Tears spring in Brooke’s eyes. Nina was proud of her.
“I understand why you’re upset, and why you’re scared. Anyone would be after what you’ve been through. But if you feel ready, I do think medication would help you.”
“But if I…” Her voice trembles as she releases a fear she hasn’t even told Vanessa. “If I take them, doesn’t it mean I’m not good enough? That I’m weak?”
“Oh, Brooke,” Nina says softly, and her eyes look slightly damp. “Not at all. You’re doing so well. There’s absolutely no shame in needing help. Asking for help and taking medication shows how strong you are, how hard you’re working to get better.”
Nina passes her the tissues and Brooke no longer hides her tears. “I’m ready,” she confirms.
Nina smiles. “There’s one more thing I want you to try.”
Brooke raises an eyebrow.
“I want you to try not to apologize when you’re here.”
Nina might as well have asked her to pilot a rocketship.
“I know it’s a lot, and I don’t expect you to do it immediately,” Nina amends at Brooke’s bewildered expression. “It’s just something I want you to try.”
Brooke nods.
“And Happy Thanksgiving!” Nina crows. —
She and Vanessa wake at sunrise.
“Please tell me you don’t play Monopoly on Thanksgiving,” Brooke begs as they season the turkey.
“Oh no, that’s for birthdays only.”
“Thank God.”
“On Thanksgiving and Christmas we do bingo.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad.”
“Mmm, you haven’t played with Silk. The bitch uses six cards. She used to keep a marker in her pocket and change the numbers. And she has to call out the numbers herself because she doesn’t trust us.”
“So I guess I’ll hide the valuables?”
Vanessa laughs and kisses her cheek.
Brooke knows what she’s thankful for. —
Silk barges in an hour early presenting her sweet potato casserole like it’s made of gold.
“Thank God we got Brooke to make the pies. Last year A’Keria was in her health-food phase and tried to poison us with low-fat nonsense,” Silk grumbles. “I almost wasted away.”
“And she brought that green shit white people love,” Vanessa adds.
“Kale?” Brooke guesses.
“That’s it.”
“She better not mess with my mashed potatoes. Last year she put cauliflower in them. Says you can’t taste the difference. Believe me,” Silk pats her chest proudly, “I can taste it.” —
“Everything good here?” A’Keria checks, glancing at the food covering every inch of counter surface.
“Yeah, I just hope Scarlet and Yvie like it.”
“Girl, you could go on the Food Network,” she declares, pointing to the pie-crust leaves on top of the pumpkin pie. “Everyone’s gonna love it.” A’Keria pats her arm in reassurance and the calm runs through her immediately. Brooke smiles in thanks, and A’Keria winks. —
“A’Keria, these potatoes are so good. What the hell is in them?” Yvie asks and Silk nods with her mouth full of them.
“Just butter and cream.” She pauses, grinning devilishly at Silk. “And cauliflower.”
Silk almost chokes. “You lying hoe!” She grabs a serving spoon and chases A’Keria around the table while the rest of them roar with laughter.
Brooke catches Vanessa’s eye, and she knows they’re thinking the same thing: Please don’t ever let this end. —
After a 2-hour bingo game resulting in 3 ripped cards, 2 spilled cups of coffee, one marker hurled out the window, Yvie flinging whipped cream in Scarlet’s hair, Silk almost swallowing a bingo ball, Brooke launching walnut shells like missiles, and Vanessa’s pumpkin pie fork nearly taking out A’Keria’s eye, everyone heads home.
“Brooke, I almost forgot,” Silk says as she leaves. “That Plastique girl? I found her.” —
She bounces her leg in her and Vanessa’s favorite coffee shop, because Nina had suggested they go somewhere she felt comfortable.
“You okay?” Vanessa asks. Brooke felt fine doing this without Nina, but there’s no way she’s doing it without Vanessa, even though Brooke feels guilty for dragging her along to something about her when they could be focusing on Vanessa.
“Yeah. It’s…she knew me before, you know? Not me now. And I’m not who I used to be. I don’t even know who I used to be.”
“Well, maybe you can’t focus on who you were. Because you are who you are now, and you don’t need to be anyone else. And for the record, I like who you are now a whole lot,” Vanessa bats her eyelashes and Brooke feels warmth spread through her.
Plastique looks exactly like she did in Brooke’s dreams–long black hair and a face so delicate it could be a doll’s.
She bursts into tears when she sees Brooke, touching her arm like she can’t believe she’s real. Which she probably can’t, Brooke realizes. She thought I was dead.
She gives Plastique the Silk-approved story: Brooke survived the plane crash with severe memory loss, met Vanessa, and has been trying to regain her memory. It’s not a total lie, but Brooke still sweats as she tells it, even though Plastique believes it and cries again halfway through.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t look for you. They said no one survived and I never thought…”
“Of course you didn’t. There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
“Brooke, it’s my fault you were on the plane,” Plastique says suddenly, voice thick.
“What do you mean?”
“I was supposed to be on it, but there was a mix-up and there wasn’t enough seats, so I was gonna take a later flight. You wanted to stay with me, but I told you to go…”
For just a second, Brooke considers how easy it would be. To blame Plastique, to have someone to hate for putting her on that plane and in the lab’s hands. But she can’t. It’s not Plastique’s fault, just like it’s not her fault. Nina always tells her it’s no one’s fault but the lab’s, and it’s never felt as true as it does now.
“No,” Brooke says firmly. “Nina–she’s my psychiatrist–she told me if you wouldn’t blame someone else for something, you shouldn’t blame yourself for it either. It wasn’t your fault, I promise you,” Brooke’s voice is fierce as she grips Plastique’s hand.
Plastique nods, wiping her tears.
Plastique had been an intern at the ballet company that Brooke was co-director of. Brooke had danced professionally with the same company for 6 years. She was leaving on her first tour as co-director when the plane went down.
Vanessa’s eyes silently ask if she remembers any of this. She remembers twirling across a stage, costumes light against her skin. She remembers feeling free.
Plastique pulls out her phone. “Here’s a picture of you when you danced.”
Brooke sees herself on the screen but can’t quite believe it’s her. She’s in white from her tiara to her pointe shoes, lacey costume on her lean body, hair pulled into a bun. She looks confident, so far from the Brooke who flinches at loud noises and stutters when ordering food that they’re hardly the same person.
“I’m loving this short hair on you, girl. You cut it right before the tour. I’m glad you kept it,” Plastique says.
Brooke’s never thought about it. It was short when she woke up at the lab, and they had kept it like that so it wasn’t in the way for her training or their medical exams. She likes it short and A’Keria trims it for her.
They talk for another hour, and Plastique promises to keep in touch.
Brooke is quiet on the way home, her mind buzzing.
“You alright?” Vanessa asks. “That was probably a lot, huh?”
She nods. She doesn’t know if she should miss the Brooke in that picture when she doesn’t really know that person. She doesn’t know if she should try to be more like that Brooke.
She thinks of what Vanessa said. Maybe it’s not about who she was. Maybe she doesn’t need to be anyone else.
Just being herself is enough. —
The last day of November dawns unusually bright.
Brooke stands over the sink with a pill in her hand. She looks out the window and her stomach drops, pill slipping through her fingers.
She feels the urge to run outside, let the flakes melt on her tongue, let the cold steal her breath and freeze her cheeks.
But she doesn’t.
Because it’s the first snowfall of the season, and they’re running out of time.
#rpdr fanfiction#brooke lynn hytes#vanessa vanjie mateo#branjie#angst#hurt/comfort#lesbian au#superhero au#overpowered#athena2#tw mild panic attack#tw implied abuse#concrit welcome#submission
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i think its always so weird to meet someone your age who grew up completely different from you? i feel like thats when you really notice the difference and omg youre so brave haha i would never dare to go on a motorcycle 🤧 id rather just walk hehe oh, my parents told me similar stories!! even tho they grew up there and everything, they barely recognise the city anymore which is kind of sad to think about :( and, yes, that was my first time meeting my grandparents!! it was kind of weird (1/4)
because i had never met them before, but it was really exciting and great to meet them for the first time!!! and, NO, i have never visited farms before for school lmao we dont really farms around and SAME, my relatives just had chickens everywhere!! it was so weird and funny afsadfa and, no, there are barely any asians around me 🤧 its weird because i just always grew up feeling incredibly out of place at times and i dont know, i felt so at home in vietnam 💕 and i LOVE b99 too!! (2/4)
ive only watched the first five season of it tho because the other seasons arent available here!! but ive watched b99 soooo many times now that its truly insane haha and, yes!! you should definitely watch rpdr 🤧 its sooo dramatic and fun sdfsdfs oh, sad to hear that the ghibli films arent available in your country :( i hope they will be soon because the ghibli films are truly great! and, yes, the heir is the one with krystal!! whatd you think of it? and youre right, asian dramas are a (3/4)
whole new level of drama, but i feel like that makes it soo great? and, yes, id take that money any freaking day!! i mean couldn't they just use that freaking money and elope or something like that?? and im trying to get into painting because i used to do it a lot more when i was younger and i wanted to pick it up again!! what about you? and the last book i read was all the bright places!! im looking for books to read!! youve got any recs ? have a great night/day too 💕💕(4/4)
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ooo yeah i get it! i really love meeting new people and learning about new cultures and differences in growing up! and it’s also really cool to hear about the similarities too :’) the motorcycle was a wild ride, literally, but i was like “when else will i get to experience this?” jaslkjfdhasaf i did enjoy walking around though because it’s so beautiful 💕 omg yeah it’s really sad to see that so much has changed in the city that it’s unrecognizable for them, but meanwhile, the villages have basically stayed the same after all these years ): and that’s awesome!!! i hope you had a good time with your grandparents 💛
ahh i think i’m just used to seeing farms if we drive a bit outside of the cityscape, and quite a few of my school field trips were to farms, but omg you should visit one sometime maybe! it’s really fun meeting all the animals and interesting to learn about how to run a farm. did you get to collect eggs from the chickens in the morning? that was the fun part for me LOL and oh gosh, i can’t even imagine ): i hope you get to visit vietnam again soon 💛💛 do you want to move elsewhere after college? or will you stay in your hometown?
omg well season 6 and 7 are just as amazing and funny as the previous seasons!!! they won’t disappoint :’) i see all the memes from rpdr and i’m like yes, i must watch this. ah yeah, unfortunately, i have to go through those sketchy websites to watch studio ghibli. i’ve never watched it before i came to college surprisingly aksdjfhlkasjdf one of my suitemates made me watch a few with her when she found out LOL omg it’s been so long, but i remember thinking “damn they’re supposed to be high schoolers????” aslkdjfhalskf i also really like rachel in the drama and the actress that played her, so i watched fight for my way because of her :’) also i liked the friendship between the two main characters’ mothers! and minhyuk was such a good friend, and i thought the on air radio confession between krystal’s character and his was really cute akjdsfas
omg i think they’re a bit too dramatic for me asjkldhfalsjkdfas like if some guy grabbed my arm real hard like that, i’d be like “get tf off me now before i pepper spray you” oh, but i really liked age of youth!!! i preferred the actress from the first season for eunjae though. and yes!!! also they were barely in a relationship to begin with? as yuta says, i can find love but i can’t find money. omg i love painting! what subjects do you like to paint the most? which medium do you use? i’ve been busy with painting for my quarter project and working on my coding assignments for class rip. and oooo i just searched for that book and found its pdf online; i’ll bookmark it to read later! ahhh i haven’t read a book in so long, but i really love fangirl by rainbow rowell and any poetry books by lang leav! i hope your week has been going well, honey bee 🌸
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A Bunch of Good Things from 2019
*I don’t do things consistently, so there’s chunks of time I just forgot to write. So the blank spaces are days where I could not recall the exact good things that happened.*
January 1: Started the year off right by hanging out with @nah-young, eating some delicious leftovers from New Year’s Eve and working on a puzzle. Also caught a shiny Delibird in Pokemon Go as the first catch of the year. 2: Had a headache at work, but went home to take care of myself. Dad and I talked for a long time about money and taxes without arguing. I have also discovered a future hobby I want to get into: 3D printing. 3: I cranked out four solid hours of studying. I’m going to ace the Auditing section of the CPA exam. I feel it in my bones (especially when I finally stood up and stretched). 4: My ‘other mom’ (one of my best friend’s mom) took me out for a belated Birthday lunch to our favorite Thai food place, and I enjoyed more mango sticky rice. It’s one of my new favorite desserts. 5: Did some epic New Year cleaning. Caught up on laundry, filed away my 2018 paperwork, and did some 2019 taxes. Finally on top of things! 6: A puzzle day! I connected a big piece of the sky to the side on the Lion King puzzle. I’ve still got a lot to go, but progress is being made. 7: As usual, I both surprised and pleased the teller at the bank when I moved some money from savings into my IRA. They wanted to know if it was for tax year 2018, but I could tell them last year was maxed out and it was for 2019. 8: Got to practice my training and supervising skills with @arrowhearts. 9: Spent the night at Lucy’s (she’s a cat). She’s the sweetest cat though, and was cuddling in my lap for so long! She even held my finger with her paw for like ten minutes. I love her. 10: It’s been forever, but I finally sat down and played some video games. I’m replaying Arkham Asylum again and really just exploring every nook and cranny I can find. 11: Might have started a new Francis story line ... Whoops :) 12: Helped Jane clear an apartment and acquired many new tools and art supplies to use. 13: Snow! It was snowing before bed, but I still woke up at 5 am to about 4 - 5 inches. Activated my dad gene and started shoveling at 5:30 am (sorry neighbors to the house I was dog sitting at). It’s so pretty out! 14: A quiet day, but I did some work for Jane and gamed some more. Can’t wait to start Arkham City when I get 100% on Arkham Asylum! 15: I took my coworker a basket of fun snacks from Lotte for her Birthday. She’s so excited to try them all! 16: Donated blood today and when I went to get dinner on the way home, I got a free salad! The entree was already free and I ordered a side salad. I pulled out my wallet to pay, but the coupon covered it, too! 17: Treated myself to breakfast on the way into preschool (my new volunteer place since the teacher I followed to several elementary schools is now at). Also ate some amazing home cooked food for lunch with @nah-young before going out for ice cream. 18: Did some very early spring cleaning to prep for my next yard sale and straighten up a bit. 19: Beat the storyline and finished gathering all of Riddler’s trophies in Arkham Asylum. I do still need to finish up the additional content for 100% completion. 20: Working with Jane to help clean out an apartment again and got stencils to use for my art (the ones with shapes of different sizes). I had wanted to get me a set, so I really lucked out. 21: Started reading a book for fun. Lol, I forgot that I can still read non-accounting things for fun. 22: Sent out 1099s at work. It’s always a dreaded part of the year, but it’s taken care of! 23: I started uploading my old Franmouche stories to AO3. I forgot that I’d written 185 pages of them. At least if someone else likes my rarepair, they have lots to read. No guarantees on the quality, but there is quantity. 24: Made fun penguin cutouts for the preschool class I volunteer at. Then studied for nine hours on campus. A busy, yet productive day. 25: Finished watching all my lectures for the next portion of the CPA exam! So much auditing knowledge!!! 26: Panic alleviated. My check engine light had been on for a few days. Usually it’s just a gas cap issue so I was worried, but after readjusting the cap again (which usually fixes it) and an oil change, the light went out! 27: Played some Pokemon Go for four hours with @arrowhearts and Lyla. No Kyogre, but at least we each got a Groudon. Plus, the weather was beautiful for this time of year. 28: I found a dollar today while sweeping the parking lots with my dad! I’m gonna be riding this wave for a week. (Fun fact: my dad and I used to go bike riding on Sunday afternoons/evenings in the local parking garages and look for pennies. We’d always get bragging rights when we found a quarter or more. We still get excited and tell each other of the day’s finds when we find a few coins while we’re sweeping). 29: Had a bit of a headache, but managed to get through it so I could finish the workday. Then I get some well deserved rest. 30: Met up with @nah-young for some fries and ice cream! 31: My annual physical went well! Took care of a couple test we’ve been putting off, too, and they weren’t quite as bad as I thought they’d be.
February
1: I had such a productive day in the office, even for a Friday. Special thanks to @arrowhearts for helping me move all (24 years worth) of our files. 2: Started off the day a little rough and feeling low, but I decided to go up to campus, and I’m so glad I did. I was able to help a bunch of people get to their destination. Also hung out with @nah-young and @arrowhearts in a sketchy room. 3: Technically today (starting at 1 am). Had a great talk with @nah-young about a lot of things including our friendship. Successfully avoided the Super Bowl (which I heard sucked, so that was a good use of my time). 4: Had a really good conversation with my dad for almost an hour. We had some fights earlier in the year, but it was nice to be able to connect some. 5: It’ll be silly to look back on, but I thought I lost a reference letter for a scholarship applicant, but realized I could find it on our shared drive. Such a relief! 6: I tried Duck Donuts for the first time today. One of our board members brought me and a coworker a half dozen each. 7: Caught a Miltank in Pokemon Go! I thought I missed my chance, but there was a special running, so I got it. 8: Just heard we got a new boss at work, so it’ll be nice to be full staffed again. 9: Started working on a painting for @arrowhearts. It might be my first completed artwork of the year. 10: A lazy day, but I flipped through a book on home decorating. You know, to plan for my future house. 11: Officially started working for Jane’s business. We’ll see how it goes, but at least it’s an extra couple of hours per week. 12: Finished a dog sitting job, and I’m super thankful to be sleeping in my own bed again. 13: I gave Lucy, the sweetest cat ever, a piggyback ride and it was the cutest thing ever. I was on my knees and forearms trying to get Lucy to boop my nose when she just climbed on my back and sat down. I rose up on my knees and hands and she did the “i’m not so sure but I’m going to stay here” stand and let me crawl across the floor a while before finally jumping off. I love this cat. 14: Took the auditing section of the CPA exam. I feel much better about this one than I have about the other two. We’ll see on the 26th. 15: Such a busy day at the office! It was productive, but just a lot of work. 16: Even though I just too the other exam, I managed to get a lot of studying done. 17: Mamaw and I got to chat and work on the puzzle for a while. It was nice to hang out with her since I haven’t done son in quite a while. 18: We had some really good food at our investment club meeting today. Sheppard’s pie (like meat and mashed potatoes), salad, this great cracker dip (I have no other details other than feels like sharp cheddar finally shredded with a hint of spice in some sort of sauce). 19: Our new executive director started today. I think I made a pretty good first impression! 20: Started playing Arkham City again. We had a snow day and even my office closed, so I made the most of my day. 21: Lol and today I finished the main storyline of Arkham City. Accidentally, because I was doing side quests, but Batman got mad when I tried to go finish some before the last mission. 24: I am obsessed with Excel, but I figured out a formula so that it would total certain categories even if they weren’t in order. Plus I learned how to make a drop down menu (on two versions of Excel). Guess who’s budget looks beautiful! 25: I caught a Latias in Pokemon Go. Not having much luck with the water legendaries. I wonder if they don’t like me because we picked the grass starter. 26: I passed the Auditing section! (and instead of keeping it quiet, I made a point to tell some people). Then @nah-young and I went to dinner to celebrate our successes of the day and just have a nice chat. 27: Good news: I starved off a migraine that was starting on Feb 26. Maybe this new method will help them from getting bad. Just took an Aleve with some hot tea. 28: Went on a Pokemon run, and I found $20 blowing across the yard when I got home! A nice find for the year.
March 1: I’ve been really getting into “Ghost Story” by Peter Straub and had so much time to just sit and read while it rained. 2: I watched “Spiderman: Enter the Spiderverse” today. An epic movie and I highly recommend it! I also have several new costume ideas... 3: Officially started working on my Library Comic Con cosplay. There’s not much to show, but it was nice to start costuming again. 4: Hiked up to the nearby bubble tea. It was good! I got a mango green tea creama. Next time I know I have to mix it up before I start drinking it. 5: 6: 7: 8: 9: 10: Started replaying Castlevania IV. It’s been a while since I beat it, so hopefully I can still finish it! 11: I have proven myself an Excel deity. Well, at least Jane thinks though. She needed a spreadsheet for something and had some ideas so I whipped it out in five minutes flat with a bunch of formulas she didn’t even know were possible. I’m quite proud of it. 12: Lol, speaking of excel, I was geeking out over my budget with one of our board members. She was showing me how she built her itinerary in excel for her next trip and I got to show off my budget. 13: 14: 15: It was fake St. Patrick’s day at work, so I got to show off my green Riddler suit. Apart from being mistaken as dressing like a leprechaun a few times, I received a bunch of compliments on it. I’ve gotten a lot of use out of that suit jacket. 16: Tagged along with @nah-young to her grandfather’s birthday party and watched Bohemian Rhapsody. Apart from the timeline inaccuracies, I really enjoyed it! Look at that: two new movies in one month. 17: First big leaf job of the season. I guess the first major landscaping job. Dad helped out, so it made life easier. 18: Investment club meeting went well, and I ended up staying late to chat and help clean up, but it was enjoyable. Also had some great tiramisu from Trader Joe’s. 19: 20: 21: It was a downpour today, but I also made a 20 minute Costco run. Parking was great, the lines were short, and I managed to balance everything without a cart. Success! 22: Finally got around to doing invoices. It’s such a weight off my chest to take care of them. 23: I had the house to myself, so got ample studying done, played some pokemon, and treated myself to some bubble tea. Got myself a bunch of good pokes from Community day. 24: Another lovely day to sit and hang out with @nah-young. I always enjoy our hour long conversations just sitting in my car in her driveway. I also finished the lectures for the BEC portion of the CPA exam. 25: I found a gift card loaded with $30 today. It had been thrown into the dumpster, so a little gross, but it washed off nicely. 26: Ran up to the local library to turn in my books (look @arrowhearts, I did it the day before they were due and didn’t have to make a midnight run). I wasn’t going to check out more books since I already had some checked out from another library visit (I go to many branches due to my job and often check out a book or two, resulting in cycles of books due at different times), but I did anyway. I started reading Area X, too, and so far, I’m really enjoying it. 27: Our family’s accountants think I’m a bit weird because I was so excited to get my tax papers back even though I owed money. I was just like “cool!” to all the facts and things on my sheets, which is apparently not what they’re used to, but one of the new tax laws works in my favor as small business income is taxed at a lower rate or something. 28: 29: 30: I love Annihilation in the Area X series! I haven’t plowed through a book that fast in years. 31: I was catching up on my business spreadsheets and it turns out I had the most profitable March since I started my business :)
April 1: No April Fools jokes, which is always a huge plus. 2: 3: 4: Took the BEC section of the exam and then clocked in a bunch of hours for the Foundation. Jubilee is almost here!!! 5: 6: The Jubilee is over!!! What a relief! A lot of things went well, and I heard it was a lot of people’s favorite. Not sure what actually happened because I was stationed at check in/out all night, but hopefully the silent auction results are good. Huge shout out to @arrowhearts and @nah-young for getting me through the night! 7:A quiet morning of returning the Jubilee to the Foundation. Plus some other landscaping. 8: I know everyone at work is saying I should take time off, and I didn’t, but I’m actually feeling blessed that I have the physical and mental stamina to keep working on things. Plus, I need to catch up with post Jubilee stuff. 9: 10: 11: 12: 13: 14: 15: 16: 17: 18: 19: Got to talking with my art dealer for a long while and we exchanged headcannons and ideas. 20: Had a nice Pokemon run with @arrowhearts‘ dog. Plus, enough work to keep me out of trouble X) 21: A very busy Easter. I moved a huge mound of mulch. It was half the size of my car. Hopefully the home owner will like it. 22: 23: 24: 25: 26: 27: 28: 29: 30: 31: I’ve been feeling behind, but I finally knocked out a really important thing at work today. Got our annual applications in!
May 1: 2: 3: My gauntlets for my comic con costume look so cool! They’re a little stabby (there’s staples on the inside, although I should be able to tape it down for safety), but overall look cool for a first draft. 4: A long day, but I feel like I was really able to help my friend and her family, which is nice considering how much they do for me. 5: The event that happened wasn’t good, but I’ve been humbled as to how well our house was kept and motivated to try and become more organized. 6: Dad and I were chatting today, and we could even touch on topics in a civil manner. It was quite nice! 7: Just found out I passed the BEC section of the CPA exam! I’m 75% CPA!!! And no cavities were found after my dentist appointment :) 8: Frantically working on my costume, but my head piece looks really good! 9: Mom even chipped in to help. We rigged up a steampunk mask I have (which doesn’t fit on my head right) so that I can actually wear it. 10: I’ve been fasting for Ramadan and I think my body and I are finally on the same page. It was a rough start this year, but I’m looking forward to focusing on being thankful for what I have and working on self discipline. 11: Library Comic Con! My costume is a bit rough, so no final pictures, but I have plans to make it better! 12: It was a busy Sunday. Lots of lawns, but thankfully the weather was cool. 13: 14: 15: 16: 17: Had a nice meeting with my boss. I keep feeling like I’m not on top of things or she’s disappointed, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Plus, she said I did great at the finance committee meeting, so that was nice. 18: Although I scared everyone I worked with all day, I was able to donate blood even though I had been fasting. 19: I saw the tiniest inch worm while I was pulling weeds today. It was more like a quarter inch worm and it was just trying so hard to climb up my arm when I found it. I also saw the first lightening bugs of the year. As a bug type Pokemon trainer, I’m quite pleased with all of this (less so with the mosquitoes though, as I got my first bite of the season). 20: I have found a nice way to keep cool at the property Dad and I work at. I’m allowed to douse my head, neck, and hat with the hose, and man does it feel good! 21: I received many compliments at the executive committee meeting for all my hard work on the budget, the Jubilee, and finance committee. 22: Caught up on reconciliations at work (finally). It’s been just a nightmare, but I’m happy they’re done. 23: Another me day. I’ve been taking Thursdays off and got to game for a bit but also accomplish a lot of laundry and studying. 24: Had a good meeting at work to discuss the future of the nonprofit I work at. Plus I finally made a phone call I didn’t want to make. 25: Went to a foam helmet making class with a coworker. I’m super excited to start trying out this style, and I think the sample we made in class can easily be used to make a helmet for Vile. Might have purchased a few things to go with it :) 26: Found a new drink that I love from Kung Fu Tea! Also got to rewatch Coco, which is always good. 27: Part of my afternoon spent working with Jane was changing her screen saver. It was set up for one photo of pictures, but some were so fuzzy, so we set up new pictures and I got to add my fuzzball to the reel. 28: I visited one of Jane’s friends to discuss dog sitting and we had such a nice conversation afterwards. 29: I found a four leave clover today while mowing lawns. It’s been years since I’ve found one, so that was exciting. 30: I plowed through about 6 hours of studying for the FAR portion of the CPA exam. Only two more lectures and then onto multiple choice! 31: Filled out a form at work (finally). Now I just have to hope my boss will sign it and have it notarized.
June 1: 2: 3: 4: 5: 6: Took the (hopefully) last CPA exam. It was nice as I spoke to an elevator engineer before the exam and it helped to calm my nerves a bit. 7: 8: 9: 10: 11: 12: 13: 14: Wasn’t sure what day to put this on, but @nah-young and I hung out for hours just sitting and chatting on the cats’ back porch. 15: Successfully navigated into DC with the help of @arrowhearts (and had an interesting laugh about her being my son...? Oh well, at least we got to give the people sitting outside a show as we left the building with two rollie office chairs each). 16: Started working on my Halloween costume. I’ve abandoned the idea I originally had and will be switching to a different Mega Man X character (fun fact: it was a costume I originally intended to make before being introduced to Scaramouche back in 2017) 17: It was a scorcher, but had a slurpee for the first time in almost a year. I’m so thankful for the 7-11 within walking distance of where my dad and I work on Mondays. 18: I’ve officially passed the CPA exam! Now onto the next steps... 19: I have been struggling with telling people good news, but I did make an effort to inform some people about me passing the exam. 20: Told some more people about the CPA exam and just trying not to stress. I got celebratory milkshakes for my family after dinner. 21: My coworkers are so sweet. They brought me in a cake and we had a mini celebration. 22: 23: 24: 25: 26:Found a praying mantis while mowing. She kept standing where I wanted to mow, so I got to pick her up and put her somewhere safe (with lots of snacks for her!) 27: 28: 29: So glad I went to see Detective Pikachu with @nah-young and @arrowhearts! I really enjoyed it! 30: 31:
July 1: A new fiscal year! I did manage to get a good bit done on my latch hook. 2: A sudden thunderstorm took me off the weed pulling job early (i.e. a perfect opportunity to read). 3: It was quiet in the office. Too quiet ... yet super productive! I processed so many gifts and letters. 4: I don’t really celebrate, and spent a lot of it working, but played some pokemon in the rain. It was a warm day, so the cool rain felt so refreshing! 5: A jammed packed day with trashrooms, a bank run, and more pokemon quests! I completed another 15 and hatched a new pokemon. Plus I finished another book: Dr. Death. 6: A busy day, but I was able to finish everything so I can take the next day off completely (for once). Again, apologies to @arrowhearts for dragging you out and getting caught in a downpour so I could get some bubble tea! 7: 8: 9: 10: Unboxed my unicycle! Not sure when I’ll ride, but it’s ready when I am. 11: 12: 13: 14: The vanity is back in my bathroom! Dad’s renovating it, and it’s been a slow process, but I finally have a sink! 15: 16: 17: 18: 19: 20: Spent a few hours working on cleaning the basement, and I’m finally seeing some of the fruits of my labor. 21: 22: 23: 24: Officially finished the Vile helmet! 25: Just started a new dog sitting job, and the house is right on top of a pokestop. Guess I’m going to have a full item bag again! 26: Finally got myself a memory stick for my PSP. I’m replaying the Maverick Hunter X game ... because I can! 27: Got three team rocket grunts in one day at the one stop. 28: Plowed through the Vile portion of Maverick Hunter X. Lol, I probably make it harder on myself since I only use my favorites, regardless of if they’re good against the boss. 29: Had a huge crab and shrimp dinner at Jane’s house. 30: Hung out and ate delicious homemade butter chicken with my best friend’s mom (she’s basically like my other mother). We laughed and chatted, showed off our latest projects, probably kept the neighbors up, and just had a good time until like 2 in the morning. 31: Welp, it wasn’t a raid day for armored Mewtwo, but @arrowhearts and I did defeat more Team Rocket Go grunts in the rain.
August 1: Chatted with @nah-young for a few hours and I’ve got a new place to eat on my radar! 2: I kept feeling like I was letting my boss down because I couldn’t answer her questions/didn’t understand, but she insisted I was handling myself well, and found the information she needed later. Plus, she’s very complimentary of my work and appreciates my transparency and work ethic, both of which I work hard on and value. 3: 4: 5: 6: 7: 8: 9: 10: 11: 12: 13: 14: 15: 16: 17: 18: 19: 20: 21: 22: 23: 24: 25: 26: 27: 28: 29: 30: 31:
September 1: 2: 3: It’s official! We’re having a Halloween party at work. If my new schedule turns out, I’ll be at work on that day and will show off a costume. Not sure if it will be the one I’m working on, but I can always recycle an old one. 4: 5: 6: 7: 8: 9: 10: 11: 12: 13: 14: 15: I had such a good ripstik run. @nah-young and I practiced for a good while yesterday (and she did her first trick, too!). I guess it’s nice to see the fruits of our practice since we’ve been working off and on for about a month. 16: Had the investment club meeting at my house. I didn’t get to cook everything, but I picked the recipe and it turned out well! 17: I finished “Every Tool’s a Hammer” by Adam Savage (from Mythbusters) and I really recommend it. It’s such a great book for anyone who makes or creates. It’s a fun read and chocked full of helpful hints. 18: I decided to start reading the Naruto series. I’m enjoying it so far! Now I just have to wait for the next to volumes to be available from the library. 19: I started replaying Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase. It’s amusing, although I’m a little rough. 20: 21: 22: 23: I’d been on the fence about taking a vacation early next year because I want to save up for a down payment, but after talking to my dad, I decided I’d do a little something. I still need to work out the plans (and make sure the people I want to visit are free), but I’m looking forward to it! 24: 25: 26: There’s a chance I might be going full time at my office job, so dad encouraged me to take the day off from trash rooms. I still got up early, but knocked out a bunch of chores, finished Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase, finished a drawing, and cleaned in the basement a bit. 27: Lol, I just realized I have three cycles of books checked out again. I started reading The Wicked Years series. I’m trying to set aside time each night so I can read a chapter or two before bed. 28: I made the pattern for my gauntlets! I’m actually trying to do it the right way and making measurements, creating an accurate template, and just generally taking my time. 29: Part 2 of the gauntlets: They’re made! My template worked and I spent a couple of hours slowly forming and shaping them. I still need some practice on the gluing component, but at least they feel sturdy. 30: Started replaying DK 64 again. I really love this game. Besides Gauntlet Legends, it’s probably my favorite N64 game we own. 31: Got rained out at work, but managed to take it easy in the afternoon and just generally keep ahead with laundry.
October 1: Today officially marks the first day of working full time at my office job. They added ten hours a week, so now I’m working 4 days at 10 hours each. It’ll take a little adjusting. I’m happy for the extra hours! 2: I sent out invoices on time for once! 3: It was my fuzzball’s 16th Birthday today! Someone also brought in some really yummy snacks to work that were leftover from a meeting. I also managed to create templates for the leg gauntlets and cut them out of foam. I’m just rolling with the motivation now, and would like to have Vile finished by Halloween (keep reading to find out if it was finished). 4: Really just having a good time playing DK 64. Knocked out Gloomy Galleon, so all that’s left are my favorite levels! 5: 6: 7: I have leg gauntlets formed. Lol, I guess I should look up the name... All that’s left is the chest plate and cape! 8: I lucked out! My coworker can’t go to a book signing even this weekend and asked me to get her book signed since I’m going. It was the perfect opportunity to get my hands on a copy of “Where the Crawdads Sing” which I wanted to read before this weekend. 9: Making some headway on the costume again! Arm and leg gauntlets have the plating and base coat of plastidip. 10: I finished “Where the Crawdads Sing” within 48 hours of having it my possession. That’s such a huge accomplishment to read something so quickly and eagerly! 11: I was plowing through my to do list at work. I knocked out 11 items. Woo! 12: 13: 14: 15: 16: 17: 18: 19: 20: 21: 22: 23: 24: 25: 26: 27: 28: 29: 30: My Halloween costume is finished *gasp* before Halloween! Barely, but it counts. 31: I won the most creative costume at work! Well, tied for first, but that’s cool.
November (whoops, I really forgot to write this month) 1: 2: 3: 4: 5: 6: 7: 8: 9: 10: 11: 12: 13: 14: 15: 16: 17: 18: 19: 20: 21: 22: 23: 24: 25: 26: 27: 28: 29: 30: 31:
December 1: 2: 3: 4: 5: 6: 7: 8: 9: 10: 11: 12: My coworker is back! She had been on extended leave for a while, but now she’s back. She bring such a positive and fun attitude to the workplace. 13: 14: I’m officially 25! I worked a few hours in the rain, but got a lot done (and saw Lucy, my favorite cat I cat sit). Instead of going to a steakhouse for dinner, which I’m not a fan of, we ended up going to somewhere I did enjoy. Overall, it was a nice and quiet celebration. 15: 16: 17: I finished the Naruto series today! It was a good series, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Going to take a manga break to work on a few novels I have checked out and then decide which series to start. 18: 19: A busy day again. Knocked out two leaf clients for the year and went to see three bands perform at a local music club. I stayed out way too late, but had a great time hanging with a friend, one of the performers, and the performer’s friend. 20: 21: 22: 23: 24: Hung out with my brother and grandmother. I crushed them in several games! 25: Went to my coworkers in the afternoon and dueled for the first time in quiet a while. They wiped the floor with me, but I had fun with my deck destruction deck. 26: 27: Ended up hanging out with Jane for a while and just chatting about everything. We’re seeing eye to eye on a lot of things, so it was nice. 28: Finished my leaf jobs for the year! Time to relax. 29: 30: 31: Welp, ended up being sick and missing out on the intended New Year plans. I guess I did start the year with a migraine, so here I am ending it with one. After I rested up, I did start playing my favorite video game. Plus, I frantically read “Hey, Kiddo!” before the end of the year
Notable stuff
Highlights: Passed the CPA exam Officially hired full time
Books read: “Ghost Stories” “Every Tool’s a Hammer” “Where the Crawdads Sing” “Wicked” Naruto series “Hey, Kiddo!”
Movies watched: Spiderman: Enter the Spiderverse Mary Poppins 2 The Princess and the Frog Pokemon Lucario
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