#ive been paranoid lately but they just calm me down so much. i cant wait until we go to the fair together and i cant wait wake them up.

[txicgf]

i love my boyfriend so much..they are so good. they ruin and misalign my sheets by being a hurricane when he sleeps and managing to get my blankets across the room and he moans and talks in their sleep and as the resident light sleeper I wake up whenever he moves but I don't think i would trade it for the world. they're asleep in my room and im sitting on a pillow on the floor in my living room and im just thinking about him and <33333333 i love all their stupid things and quirks and I love our videogames and our shows and I love that he's not too good to binge watch all of glee with me in less than a month and get a little too invested,,,,,, there's no one else I have such a good time with or feel so comfortable around. we're different but we're on the same wavelength on just about anything in the world and I've never had conversations better than with him, which has been apparent since the first night we spoke even if it took a few fucky years for us to work everything out. I didn't know things could get this perfect, I sure as fuck don't deserve their kindness or patience but they've given it to me anyways and I am over the moon every day I spend with them. All of the worst pains and dramas in my past feel so fucking small just because of how much this is. it all feels like little kid shit atp, sometimes i feel a paranoia creeping back that certain people will one day try to make their way back into my life, but it feels so fucking small after everything with him. Something that used to be so huge to me it basically encapsulated my life for almost four years feels like a joke. Everything I ever had with her in all of that (painful) time is barely a fraction of what them and I have built in just barely a year. Somehow everything I ever wanted from her and everything I kind of ever wanted just vaguely (down to the stupid sans undertale endearing pun shit) I found in him tenfold. I've never been this in love with someone and I've never been so happy and calm and healthy. I can love them basically more than anything in the world but I still feel so myself, in fact loving him makes me feel more myself. I want to show them all the parts of me, I want to polish and work on the best parts and feel myself and I want to be independent but I want him and I to be independent together. Loving them makes me love parts of myself I usually hate, I have gained so much weight back after getting in a relationship with him lol but it's not something life ending for me anymore, im just happy. he still makes me feel beautiful and desired. I love sharing everything and anything with them, i love being near them I love just being in the same house as him. they're my best friend, my favorite person and my dearest love. I can't wait until they can fully move in and we can enjoy our upstairs and learn how to fix things together and save up money together and have each others backs and live as a little family of three stupid cats and our two beautiful guinea pigs.