#ive been in love with this girl who treats me like no one else has

[im-thirst-trapped]

For the night is dark and full of terrors ~

Stay safe with me and feel my warmth 💜

Tell me how much you want this dream to last forever ~

Stay with me and hear my heart 💜

(or just enjoy a grainy pic of my tits ~)

[norrizzandpia]

The Softest Launch (LN4)

Summary: He tried to be secret, but the eyes never lie.

Warnings: NOTHINGGGG language tho

Note: it was lance’s launch that sent me into this spiral

landonorris it was a good race ❤️

Comments:

mclarenfan22 YO WHO TF IS HE LOOKIN AT

- oscarandlando4ever carlos?

- mclarenfan22 idk abt that one girl

Lando-my-love i refuse to believe he has a girlfriend

- ln4andop81 the red heart is saying something else

oscarpiastri congrats on the podium man!

- mclarennnn what do you know.

- mclarensgirl oscar. spill it.

——

landonorris fun day on the karting track! 🏎️

Comments:

ln4andop81 MAX IS IN ITALY WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND AND OSCAR IS OFF DOING PR IN LONDON WHO TF IS THIS.

- oscarandlando4ever we cant even fall back on carlos bc he is with charles at ferrari hq in italy as well

- Lando-my-love guys… i fear this is a soft launch

- mclarenfan22 DONT SAY THAT.

oscarpiastri tell her i said hi!

- mclarensgirlll HER????? PASTRY TELL US WHATS GOING ON

- landonorris will do!!

- mclarennn if this is his soft launch, i. will. cry.

——

lando.jpg she’s learning 💋

Comments:

mclarennn WHO?????

ln4andop81 I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE

danielricciardo i still can’t believe you let her handle your camera

- landonorris ive given her other things that are delicate too

- danielricciardo shes made you a ball of mush

- landonorris a ball of love

- mclarensgirlll i have never been speechless before until rn

- mclarenfan22 GIVEN HER OTHER THINGS THAT ARE DELICATE TOO???? AS IN HIS HEART???? IM SLEEPING ON THE HIGHWAY ALREADY AND HE HASNT EVEN OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED IT YET 😭😭😭

oscarandlando4ever hes soft launching her so well and so gently i cant im crying you can tell this one is different i think hes in love guys

Liked by landonorris

——

maxverstappen 📸 creds -> lando’s “friend”

Comments:

landonorris i said say friend not “friend” ‼️

- mclarensgirlll BYE MAX IS TRYING TO HELP US OUT

- maxverstappen i think the soft launch is over mate

- ln4andop81 PLZ LET IT BE OMFG MY BRAIN CANT HANDLE IT ANYMORE

kellypicquet and lando said she was bad at taking pics 💀

- ynnnn idek where he got that from i literally have taken his insta pics for years

- Lando-my-love WHO IS ynnnn IS THAT HER???

- mclarenfan22 her account is priv but I THINK IT IS ALSO YEARS???? SHES BEEN TAKING HIS PICS FOR YEARS????

- oscarandlando4ever BRUH IF WE MISSED THIS RELATIONSHIP THIS WHOLE TIME IM THROWING MYSELF IN A WALL

——

landonorris I’m going to try and keep this as brief as possible because Y/n is incredibly special to me and I would like to keep the best parts of her to myself, but, yes, I do have a girlfriend. As you can probably gather, her name is Y/n and she’s been my lifeline for the past 5 years. I know this picture doesn’t really do justice to how she looks or how we are as a couple, but I’ve found that I would like to keep it that way. She’s someone I hold very close to my heart and keeping the quiet, intimate moments just for us is a high priority for me. All I ask from all of you is that you treat her with the kindness she deserves and don’t bombard her on social media. I’ve kept her away from the spotlight for a long time and have only made her presence known because keeping her a secret seemed worse than letting the F1 world into that part of my life. I’m glad you’ve gotten to meet my love. I plan on spending the rest of my life with her. Xx

Comments have been disabled on this post.

——

TWITTER

mclarensgirlll YALL SEEN THE INTERVIEW WITH LANDO????????? BRO IM CRYING HES SO CUTE

- ln4andop81 reporter: “were you nervous to let everyone know about her?” Lando: “well, the drivers, my friends, and family all knew i had met someone because apparently, according to them, i had a different look in my eyes. So, announcing it to them wasnt that nerve racking because they already knew, but, to the public, yeah, I was nervous. More nervous than she was.” Reporter: “so she was nervous?” Lando: “only because she thought no one was going to like her which is and was absurd. She’s the greatest human being I’ve ever met. There’s genuinely no scenario I could think of that someone would end up even slightly disliking her.” BRO.

- Lando-my-love AND THE WAY HE TALKED ABT FIRST SEEING HER 😫😫 “it was like my eyes were glued to her. I guess i was just so in shock someone could be that beautiful and, sometimes, i still am.”

- mclarenfan22 DONT GET ME STARTED ON HIS PROTECTION OF HER BYE “well, she’s just so perfect to me. The world I live in can be ruthless and unfair and messy, all the things she isn’t. I love her that way. I love her for that. She’s my quiet place I can go to when my job and lifestyle get to be too much. She’s like a time out and we both agreed we want to keep it that way.”

- oscarandlando4ever PLZ THE WAY OSCAR EXPOSED HIM TOO “when she’s around, Lando is so much more tolerable. She can calm him in a way I have never seen before. In fact, the engineers and I all agreed around a year ago that she needed to start coming to races because he was always a hot head if it didn’t go well. When we found a way to sneak her in and she did start attending events, he actually started to breathe if things didn’t go his way.”

- mclarensgirlll AND THEN THE WAY LANDO ENDED THE INTERVIEW WITH “But anyways, i could talk about her for hours, something i told myself i wouldn’t do. I’m in love with her and I just hope people understand we want to be left alone for a while. Just until we get married.” CRYING BC I THINK HES RLLY OFF THE MARKET THIS TIME

- oscarpiastri i know all of you want me to “spill” but really all i can tell you is that, yes, norizz officially rizzed his perfect girl and, yes, he is really off the market this time.

[stillfacingthesky]

being trans is such a mindfuck. nobody knows who i am. i dont need to come out, im fine as i am. i hide behind my clothes. i dont recognise myself in the mirror. i dont know if i ever will. i want to transition. im scared of change. i want to be seen and known. i am in danger. queer joy is beautiful. i am more open than a queer person used to be able to be. someone like me was murdered yesterday. i saw their face on the news, and the reporter used the wrong name. wearing mens’ clothes brings me joy, and the joy is reminiscent of a little girl. i want to be pretty. my skin doesnt fit and my voice is not mine. im scared i might love my father more. i dont need to come out, i can manage this all. im going to die someday anyway, it wont matter. a kid was staring at me in the bookstore today and i saw my past in their eyes. i wonder if they saw their future in mine. i want to be someones boyfriend. i am my brothers sister. all bodies are beautiful except mine. god created grapes but not wine and wheat but not bread. god hates fags. there is something wrong with me. if i ignore it, itll go away. its not going away. it hasnt gone away in seven years. i dont want to be a stereotype. i love brash vulgarity. my mother thinks i am beautiful. i share her face. i know ill regret it if i never come out. i dont want to waste my life wearing a costume. i dont know if i want to sacrifice the life that ive had for the life i could have. someone out there understands me. someone else would kill me without regret. someone would cry if i was gone. someone would praise my killer as a hero. there are photos and illustrations of people like me in the past. our history has been erased. theyre still trying to erase us. i dont know if the present is worth the future. i want to be happy. i dont feel like i deserve it. ‘female’ leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. ‘woman’ makes me see stars. i am one but not the other. i am the ghost of the person i want to be. i encourage others and love them regardless. i am a hypocrite. ive been in hiding since i was thirteen. i want to be loud. my mother spent nine months creating me. i will spend the rest of my life creating myself. i am scared. i am angry. i am beautiful and sickening and i want to rip my skin apart to make space for something new. my rage is glorious. they will never understand. i do not need them to. i am so lonely. i am an artist and i want to be a masterpiece. they call my creation mutilation. i dont want to make my parents sad. i want my brother to like me. i am visibly queer. that man shouted at me to smile because he was treating me like a woman. what i have right now is enough. i want more. i don’t know if ill ever have it. if i die tomorrow, i will be buried in a dress. it will be a dress that is already in my closet, a pretty dress that i havent worn in years.

[signedeclipse]

Signed with Love - Upper Moons

What is this? - A valentines gift to my lovely fem!readers! Its valentines/love letters cards from your favourites <3

Characters - Akaza | Daki | Douma | Gyokko | Gyutaro | Hantengu | Kaigaku | Kokushibo | Muzan | Nakime

Series Parts Kamaboko Squad - HERE The Hashira - HERE

Akaza

To the girl of my dreams, Happy valentines! I'm sure you thought i'd forget sorry about last year, but I've got plans and everything. Theres a light show in the city, if you want to come I'm sure we can stop for some snacks and i'll get you the best view of them. If that sounds like a plan, i'll be by your house the moment the sun goes down. Can't wait to see you dolled up, Akaza.

Daki

Dove, Free your schedule on the 14th, I won't let plans get in the way of us spending this year together after so many times of it falling through! Oiron duties always take precedent, but I'm sure I can pull some strings to spend the night with you, the "new" girl, to do some "training". Dress for the part, I know you can lie your way in. Good luck, even if I know you won't need it, 'Warabihime'

Douma

Hello, lovely! I am over the moon knowing i'll get to spend valentines with you again! I miss you more and more every day you are away... How about this year we sneak away from the cult and I show you someplace you might really enjoy, and we can pick up some treats you like to keep at the estate! Don't leave me waiting too long. You know who ♡

Gyokko

To my precious muse, This velentines marks a decade together, and I figure its about time I let you closer than ive let any other. I know I can be more conservative in sharing my art, but this year i'd like to take you into my studio and teach you some of my craft. You know where to find me. Wear something you don't mind having ruined. Gყσƙƙσ

Gyutaro

Angel, I promised i'd always ask, so I expect you to say yes when I ask you to be my valentine again. It's too risky to go out with being on the radar, so when you come back home keep low and we'll do something simple. I can't risk getting you in trouble. Don't stray too far, GT.

Hantengu

Dearest, If possible, I would really appreciate if maybe you might consider being my valentine Whatever you'd like is yours Please H/S/K/A/Uro/Z/Ura

Kaigaku

Princess, I know you'll say yes anyways, so instead ill congradulate you for keeping me intrigued for so long. Long enough to call you my valentine. I'll be home to see you the moment the sun drops, and we can spend all night hanging out. I like you better where no one else can chew on you like eye candy, so I'll bring some snacks you like if it keeps you inside, Don't get too flattered, Yours, Inadama

Kokushibo

To the most beautiful woman I know, I would be honoured if you would decide to be my valentine once again. If you are inclined to accept my invintation, know that not a drop of the night would be wasted on anything you wouldn't like. You know you can trust me. I anticipate your responce, 黒死牟

Muzan

To the only sunshine I require; With this letter is a box of clothing. It's all custom to your fit and yours now, pick whatever you like and wait outside the gates of tokyo by sundown tonight. We'll be visitng some places I know you've wanted to see, and I'll make sure it's not on an empty stomach. Don't leave me waiting, M. Kibutsuji

Nakime

My dearest lullaby I am not one to partake in holidays, however, I cannot help myself when it comes to you. I was hoping you would be my valentine; not just today, but in life as well. There is a concert hall I used to perform at, and I would like to bring you there to hear the music I was so very fond of. It is very formal, so if you need any help getting ready you have my assistance. I miss your sweet song, Nakime Otokawa

Authors Note - This took me so long ahhhh thank you for your patience darlings <3 The tags took me longer than writing this entire thing /j

Disclaimer - All characters within have been aged up to at least 18 or older, and have been altered to reflect such change as needed.

[commsroom]

happy birthday! ive been meaning to ask for a while if you have any spare minkowski thoughts, just in general. if not, are there any other characters in w359 that you see as trans or queer?

thank you!! sorry for not getting to this one on my birthday; i've been trying to come up with some minkowski thoughts for you, but i'm not sure if they'll be new!! one of my favorite things about minkowski is how much she really, truly has "guilty pleasures" in the most typical sense. when emma sherr-ziarko said the track name "minkowski watching 50 shades of gray with a tub of ice cream and enjoying it nonironically" informed her perception of the character, etc. i love that. all of the best characters are self-contradicting in very real and human ways, and minkowski has a ton of that. her love of musical theater gives us such insight into her interior world; she treats so much of her life like these separate, practiced "roles" to play, as if there can be clear divisions between them.

minkowski is a great leader, but she's not a natural leader, and - in fact - everything that does ultimately make her a person worth following is completely at odds with how she tries to lead, or how she thinks it's supposed to be done. i think she was in a dozen different clubs in high school, but didn't really have friends. i think she could get really into historical reenactment (and i would love for eiffel, hera, and minkowski to go to a ren faire - i think they'd all enjoy that, but for very different reasons.) i think minkowski earnestly believes in the concept of a "cheat day" and marks when she allows herself to eat a whole bunch of ice cream on her calendar - this is horrifying to eiffel, but she finds it sincerely motivating. i think minkowski's interior decorating sense is at least 30% more "live, laugh, love" than anyone else around her would be able to take seriously. she's the kind of person who needs everything in her house properly labelled and put away in the same place every time. eiffel is the kind of person who leaves everything out, all over the place, and forgets it exists if someone puts it away. making them live together is hilarious. i think minkowski likes romcoms and hallmark christmas movies; she's easily moved by very sappy media, and very defensive / embarrassed about that. she's used to being mocked for her taste, and for how it goes against her image as a career military woman. i do not think hera would share her taste in movies at all, but minkowski + hera girls' night is very important to me.

what else... oh!! i've talked to my friend @hephaestuscrew a lot about minkowski's parents, and i agree with the assessment that they are probably... pretty laid back? like, the kind of people who encouraged her to be whatever she wanted to be - the pressure she puts on herself to make something of herself is the kind of person she is, and a message she got from the world at large more than her parents, i think. her dad's first name has an anglicized spelling as well, so i think there's something kind of... well, there's something that rings true about minkowski trying to hold onto these parts of her heritage that her parents aren't as concerned about. koudelka's a czech name; we don't know anything about him, but i wonder if maybe she made that connection with him at least partially because they were both american children of (at least one) eastern european parent(s) in paris. and her mother is french, she learned french before she learned english, but we don't really know if she spent time in france before that. there's a sense of displacement to that.

(as for the other part, well... i'm not sure! obviously jacobi is gay, and i would generally agree lovelace and maxwell are as well. i think eiffel is technically bi, but he's straight culture bi. i think it would be difficult to get minkowski to really examine her sexuality. whatever kepler's sexuality is, i think he's done his best to close himself off from any sincere desire. my thoughts on hera's sexuality would require a whole other post, but obviously i read her as trans. there isn't really anyone else i think of as trans, but that's not to say it's impossible - they're mostly military or military-adjacent people born in the 70s and 80s; by and large i think they're coming to these topics of identity from a different perspective from those of us on tumblr dot com. but i think doug eiffel is one of the most cis characters i can imagine.)

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:

Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)

>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)

>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)

>Beat up his brother for being possessed

>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)

>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA

>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)

>Locked a child up in a box

>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box

>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl

>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped

misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman

Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.

Propaganda why the Tenth Doctor is insufferable:

They’re so *edgy*

That one time he committed a genocide by drowning the last children of a near-extinct species (Racnoss) because their mother was evil. The closest anyone ever got to calling him out on it was when Donna noted that his take on a *different* set of weird alien babies (the Adipose) was a lot nicer than last time.

A combination of hypocrisy, sanctimony, and an equally insufferable fanbase. And the dissonance between what he actually does and how the narrative presents it.

[nut4shuri]

DATING LETITIA WRIGHT PRT 2!!🤎

Since yall loved the first one ive decided to make a second one.

(this one is a little shorter tho)

Letitia grew up in the UK,meaning she didnt have much knowledge to how things work in the US,cultural,lifestyle,and just a new atmosphere wise.

She's always so in awe by everything about you.

Whys your hair so damn long? Is it so i can pull it."" She said as she combed through the long locks of silky hair.(That 40 inch,yall know it.)

"No it's not so you can pull it,pull my shit its gone be me an you."

She smirked "Or it could just be me in you." she said as she gathered your hair together playfully bending you over the bathroom sink.

"Nasty Ass"

"Where's the rest of your shirt baby" she said as she attempted to pull the cropped tee down lower.

"And yall these are the Good4thebody Blue jeans from shein they're so comfy and they really shape the body" you walked into the camera attempting to give a quick 360 but letita walked in front of you.

"Yall good. Yall dont gotta see all that" she said

"Girl get out my video."

Meeting Your Family

“Y/N who's your friend?“

"Your daughter is just a handful."

Your family chuckled as every one sat at the dinner table,taking in laughs,making jokes,and the atmosphere just felt so right.

Many different Dishes sat on the tables,Greens,Yams,Cornbread,Beans,Chicken,Etc.

"Shes been like that since she was younger"your mom said as she let of a big and vibrant smile.

"Y/N come help mama with the dishes" your mama spoke.

"I like her.."she said making you smile.

"I do to mommy."

"Is she good to you,she seems sweet and full of love"

"Shes amazing,i wouldn't ask for anyone else."

"Well you know what im finna say.."

"Mama..you do know she's a girl-“

“girl yesss“ your mama said laughing.

“I meant like are y'all planning on adoption or something..“

“hmm maybe we haven't really talked about children yet mama.“

"Well you know i want some grandbabies"

You walked and stopped in the door way of the living room. Letita sat talking to your aunts.

"Y/N girl you done got thick on us." Your aunt said as you walked past.

"You been eating good"

"I have."

"She has." Letita looked at you with a smirk.

Yall do fun things like Tik Toks,Vlogs,Pranks And ETC.

“girl no that's wrong way!“ you said as you attempted to teach your girlfriend a new trending dance.

“I be seeing them edits y'all be making about me.“ lettita said as she laid stretched out on the bed beside you,she had her hood on and low eyes. She smiled cocky at her camera making you mug her.

“yeah and y'all better just keep wishing the fuck.“ you said making her chuckle.

“yeah y'all know y/n crazy as he'll. .“

“whatever.“ you said mugging her. She was feeling herself a lil too much.

“come onnn“ you said attempting to pull your girlfriend to the backseat of the car.

She licked her lips and looked at you speaking in a raspy voice “if I come back their,you not gone be able to walk for a month. Now get your narrow ass back up here and put on this seat belt y/n.“

She was always so sweet to you no matter what.making sute you ate and making sure you got ate...

“ma you hungry?“

“ma you want some taco bell?“

“ma whatchu want from the store?“

“I bought you breakfast in bed mamass“

“you want some head?“

She always took you on set whenever she filmed. Making sure you got everything you wanted while their and where was comfortable as you could be.

“you ok ma? You need anything.“ she said as she rubbed your thigh lightly.

You smiled shaking your head and taking a sip of your water sitting back in your chair.

She treated you like the queen you where and would t let up for nun. She constantly reminded you that you where the baddest no matter what.

“ma you dont need no plastic surgery.“

“but..“

“but nothing.“ she said using her hand to raise your chin.

“you beautiful as fuck.“

END

[313i]

i did the blorbo bingo with edling :3

ramble / explanations for my writing under cut!

for ling:

most fandom takes are incorrect: maybe it’s just me but ive seen a decent amount of people make ling out to be a pervert or just reduce him to a stupid silly character. ling yao is NOT A PERVERT! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM! he would never even do HALF OF THE THINGS YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!! and he is so far from just being a funny guy that makes the audience laugh. his motives and character as a whole are so incredibly strong and i’ve never been so fascinated with a character like ling yao. please give him more attention.

that also goes hand in hand w/ stop putting them in situations!!: he would not be looking up girls skirts or something 🙁 be kind to him i think he deserves the world also. the cast of fma consists of a bunch of 14-16 year olds who traveled across the world to fulfill what they feel is their destiny but they end up on a journey of pain and suffering instead. they are children they should be playing roblox and minecraft and brain rotting like me ……….. i need a 500 chapter fic of ling being happy and joyous and eating all the wonderful meat in amestris.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NOT ENOUGH CANON / UNDERRATED: as much as i love greedling and understand the combo … i wish ling got more screentime alone separate from greed. he is really such an interesting and unique character with a banging design and sometimes i feel greed robbed him of his iconic features (his yellow jacket & sword) and people just forget that greedling exists because ling was strong enough to withstand the homunculus in his system + LING IS THE BODY!!! he is serving that facecard and body 24/7 because that’s all ling yao!!! i still do really like greedling because they have a lot of room for interaction but i feel like ling yao is one of the characters who is often forgotten when it comes to merch n whatnot. he’s not as much of a main character as ed of course but he is just forgotten!! he is really such a cool character i wish there was more of him everywhere

there’s probably a deep seated reason why i love him: yes. because he is me and i am him (not really). i just project onto him and he is just me at this point! i will forever be such a huge ling yao fan the first time i watched fmab i instantly got attached to him i am so happy he is alive. i hope being the king of the yao clan is treating him well though he didn’t look to happy in that one photo of him as emperor….. it’s a tough job so i get it man! i hope he explodes

for edling:

pretty privilege: they are both pretty. brotherhood art style is a bit inconsistent at times i feel but their designs are both so gorgeous (their colors complement one another!). and also the bloodhell episode. ling yao fighting envy with his cool sword and handsome face…. ed somehow still looking pretty despite all the traveling and fighting. they are pretty!!!

projection had entered the chat: well, yes! who doesn’t project onto their faves??? :p

don’t typically discuss irl because of fandom: more and more people nowadays seem to forget fma franchise as a whole 🙁 it makes me so sad because this series is so fire and i wish it would keep its popularity but it obviously makes sense that more relevant shows and animes will overtake its light. i’m also afraid most people don’t like edling (edling nation consists of like 10 people) so i just don’t really talk about fma irl at all! no one here has a Fullmetal heart..

everything else is just me wanting to bite them (lovingly) and stuff them in my pocket and hold them in the palm of my hands to show them off to the world. i do not actually want to plot their demise and i am not actively doing so. i would put them in a wood chipper in a loving manner

for ed:

has done nothing wrong: he’s innocent, your honor… everything he’s ever done has been for his family. he’s committed a huge taboo in the alchemy world by trying human transmutation but him and al just wanted their moms back. they were TOO YOUNG TO BE ORPHANS AND HAVE TO GROW UP WITHOUT THEIR MOTHERS LOVE! he ended up becoming a dog for the military but he had to do what he had to do to get closer to that philosopher stone… in 03 he did end up taking some lives too i think. he’s only 15 and never intended to Actually murder someone. seeing him after the greed scene is so incredibly heartbreaking. 03 and cos are such horrific renditions of fma (in a good way) and it makes me so sad to think that’s how he ended up??? he had so much hope as a little kid and was so full of life but by 18 he’s stranded from the last bit of family he knew and is left a depressed alcoholic who keeps losing people. edward elric has done nothing wrong..

there’s probably a deep seated reason why i love him: even from the outside HE IS SUCH A COOL CHARACTER. a character who canonical has prosthetic limbs is already so cool. knowing the story behind those limbs and his brother is so 🙁☹️☹️… his iconic red jacket!!! his LEATHER PANTS WITH HIS PLATFORM BOOTS? his striking gold eyes and bright blonde hair? how he wears his stupid pocket watch…. his dumbass belt… i love edward elric’s flamboyant style so much i’ve never seen a more bi-coded character ever. i love everything about his design and his personality is unlike most shonen anime protags and that adds to his charm. he is hot-headed and will bite your head off if you comment on his height or call him pipsqueak but he is still such a sharp and intelligent young man .. He is literally an Alchemy God…. he is so capable even at such a young age and carries himself so well because if i were him i would be breaking down crying every step of the way! he is dedicated and loyal to his cause of finding the philosophers stone to return their bodies back to normal and doesn’t even hinder once throughout the journey. he loves his brother dearly and it makes me so joyous to see a strong sibling relationship in this genre that isn’t Weird. Edward Elric is a fire character thank you for listening to my TedTalk

[1moreff-creator]

Happy Birthday Arei Naegishi!

I am so bad at remembering birthdays I almost missed this one. But it's still the third in my time zone, so I'm still gonna do it! Arei's our birthday girl, and the best character ever (<- her opinion) gets a birthday post too! Spoilers below the cut as always.

-Arei's backstory was revealed in CH 2 EP 5. She was bullied heavily by her sisters, Fuyuko and Natsuko, and we see an example of them doing so by forcefully cutting part of the right side of her hair. You can even see, to this day, she seems to have more hair on her left than on her right. She also mentions "If [she] had to go to the hospital once or twice, then it was nothing more than a minor inconvenience for [her sisters]." Which, uh, huh. That's... quite awful. The point is that Arei hated her life back then, and rightfully hated her sisters as well.

-Despite that, it seems Arei tried to be kind for the longest time. She's far from an innately cruel person, but eventually, she felt the only way out was turning the table on her sisters and starting to bully them. Her secret is "Blackmailing, rumors, lying, stealing, slander. You did everything you could to ruin your sisters' lives" and she confessed that she framed them for everything she could to get them unlawfully sent to reform school. This included planting things in their bags and lying to authorities, as well as driving her mother's car into a ditch and blaming it on her sister drunk driving. Okay so bullying is maybe an understatement but the idea stands.

-And it worked! She managed to get them sent to reform school, and her life improved drastically. Morally dubious queen shit, etc. However, this made her develop a harmful ideology that being kind is a weakness and will get you treated badly. Which is why she acts unnecesarily mean during the killing game.

-However, deep down, Arei is still nice. She doesn't really like doing the things she does, she just feels they're necessary for her to survive. Even right before her secret reveal, she was trying to justify her actions to herself, saying it's normal for people to be like her:

Arei (laughing nervously): You [David] do want to hear my secret after all. As I guessed, everyone has that burning curiosity inside of them to hear bad things about other people. It's not just me.

-Which is why Eden's existence led her to a breakdown. Because Eden is nice and kind and is exactly the type of person Arei thinks would be destroyed in """the real world.""" And yet, Eden keeps going, she's still nice. Eden is what Arei wishes she could have been, she sees her past Arei in current Eden. Which is why she bullied her originally; to "teach her how the world works." Because Arei doesn't want to do real harm, so it's better if she does it than someone else later down the line.

-That doesn't go well. She breaks down in front of David, who comforts her quite successfully... so much so that she seems to forget she wanted to talk to David about his secret oops.

-This is what leads to her apologizing to Eden and promising to be her friend and a better person... and then she died. Well, under the most common interpretation.

-Her birthday lands on November 3rd, just three days after Ace's. This coincides with:

+Fountain Pen Day (Min reference?)

+National Sandwich Day.

+National Homemaker Day.

+Jellyfish Day. (?)

+Give Someone a Dollar Day (??)

+Love Your Lawyer Day (???????)

Among other things. I still have no idea where these come from.

-The roman numeral assigned to her in the LGI MV is IV (4), a number associated with death because yeeeeaaaah... This is: "right now, why do you cry?"

Ignoring the intentional mistranslation, this is probably just referencing Arei's breakdown in the playground.

-Color Theory (I'm sorry but I'm done linking that post) assigns her... well, I believe dark blue, so I'm going with that. This is cry, big and the Mandarin laugh (哈哈哈) in the rain scene.

(The good thing about having done this fucking video is that I have all the damn screenshots you could ever ask for in relation to it)

"Cry" for the same reasoning as her numeral. "Big" in this context is "proud", which fits. And the laugh is long to explain, but basically it's the "applause crew" (Cheery David, Xander, Hu, Arei) overwhelming David. Watch that part of the video for a better explanation.

-Arei had an FTE with J, which she starts off by tickling her, later claiming she would, uhm.

Arei: I'll tie you down and force you to wear maid dresses and bunny suits until you change your mind! [About acting girly]

Arei what. This screenshot feels like it should be fake what do you mean it's canon. It's great, don't get me wrong, it just feels extremely outta pocket. Listen, I (aro/ace) don't feel qualified to unpack whatever the fuck is going on here, I'm just gonna leave this to the shippers.

-What I will unpack is the other stuff in the FTE related to Arei. Which is-

Arei: C'mere! I'll tickle you until you laugh so hard that your heart stops! Then I'll defibrillate you and tickle you some more! Tickle tickle tickle!

I said the OTHER stuff

-Mainly, that she feels like being the favorite child would be great (you can figure out why yourself I imagine), and she likes acting girly.

-We also learn she categorizes people based on how she likes to bully them. "Cool and suave wannabe boys" like J (as in, she acts like a boy who tries and fails to be cool and suave), "spineless pushovers" like Levi (she "uses as maids"), "adorably sweet people" like Eden (she """likes""" to make them cry), and the people who don't like her, which would presumably include her sisters, as she says she likes to destroy these people's lives. Foreshadowing!

Fun facts!

-She likes gossip and dislikes being ignored.

-Her subtitle quote in the cast page is "If I tell you a secret, will you promise to keep it?" Which is insane foreshadowing given the chapter she (allegedly) died in.

-Her secret quote is "Because that’s what friends do", which she said to Eden in the trial flashback. The quote associated to her in Mai's page is "She doesn’t like it when her friends fight." Friendship is evidently something of a running theme.

-She likes "cute" food (?), her favorite color is azure (because she's blue), her favorite ice cream flavor is birthday cake flavor (oh, fitting!). Her least favorite color is green because it "looks like puke", which... I wonder if it has something to do with being bullied by her sisters given the apparent hospital visits.

-Her name in Kanji is written 投石【なげ ・ いし】亜鈴【あ ・ れい】. Cool! Don't know what any of that means.

-Like most of the cast, her hair color is natural and she's American.

-She's ambidextrous! The only ambidextrous person in the cast, in fact, and the only one apart from Teruko to not be a righty.

Finally songs!

+Candle Queen by Ghost & Pals (literally her song, don't @ me)

+Those Who Carried On by Ghost & Pals (it's sorta a similar attitude to how she felt about Eden, do you see my vision?)

+SCAPEG∞AT by Ghost & Pals (I will make you all listen to Ghost & Pals!)

+Perfectly Sweet by Vane Lily

+Karma by CreepP

+Bad B!tch Magic by HalaCG + others

+i DO what i WANT by KIRA

+Aishite by Kikuo

+It's Not My Fault by DECO*27 (listen Milgram had to bleed into these eventually)

+Teen Idle by Marina and the Diamonds (again I think it works)

+Pyrite Girl by RIProducer / RIP (I think it works kinda at least)

And Happy Birthday! Hope you enjoy some birthday cake ice cream, girl! Go do it!

[kennysboxergf]

Attractiveness scale

Im trying to sleep at the moment but the sleep just ain’t coming ya know so im gonna post this and dip but I wanted to rate the Beta Squad members and a few of the guests by attractiveness for fun 🤷‍♀️

this is personal so like not who’s conventionally attractive but who is to me 🤭

the ten ppl I will be ranking are Sharky, Kenny, Chunkz, AJ, Niko (obvs) and then Darkest, Filly, Gib, HP and Johnny Carey cus i cant remember no one else

also no one talk about the spelling mistakes in this it’s late and i dont wanna spell check rn

Coming in on Number Ten its

10 - Harry Pinero

his hairlines reached the base of his skull at this point and he’s just never really been my fav guest so he gets last place unfortunately 😕😕 i think this is only bcus he violates my faves and I stand up against bullying thank you very much

9 - Yung Filly

ok yall gonna get mad at me for this one but he’s very bf material i cant lie just not very attractive for me? There’s some vids and photos where he’s like FINNEEE but then most of the time he’s mad funny and cute just not that attractive ya know and he looks like he’s 4’3”, like I KNOW he’s taller but he dresses and the way he moves idk he moves short af

8 - AnesonGib

ok so I had him 6th originally but I acc looked at pics of him and changed my mind, I have not seen a single Gib vid like from his own channel, ive seen gib in the Mafia vid, some old Chunkz vids and ive seen his fights but he’s so FINE and underrated as fuck like?? Appreciate this man?? And he seems mad kind. I <3 Gib. I do not know anything about him tho but I recently saw a vid of Chunkz from like 6 years ago with him in it and Young gib? Mad fine but also he looks almost child entertainer ish so do with that what you will

7 - Chunkz

aight ya ok, my BAD, im SORRY but like he’s just not it for me, he’s leng i wont lie but like he’s so authoritative and i cant with that ya know? Like I need a chill man for me im somehow worried this man gonna slap my neck if I talk back and im not tryna get treated like toddler im tryna be your girl? calm ur ass down and we talk

6 - AJ

ok SO I know, I know, im going to get absolutely dragged and maybe even jumped for how low this is but like once again he’s very aggressive and sh and I cnat deal with that, he MAD fine tho he’s so Hahrhdhhfbdnsk but like I rate the others better he is taller then me tho so he can have that

5 - Johnny Carey

YALL SLEEP ON THIS MAN, YALL ARE SNORING AND DROLLING AND EVERYHTING CUS THIS MAN IS SO FINE like I cnat deal with him he’s so fine to me? Like yeah he looks a little wonky and asymmetrical but like? Have you seen the wya he looks at people? Omgmgmmgmg

4 - Kenny

considerably low considering my username but ive developed as a person dont judge me but he mad mad good looking, when he boxes?? 10/10 in a track suit?? 10/10 this entire man is one big SMASH like ❤️

3 - Niko

this man is so cute but also hot its weird to believe he exists like?? I want to climb him like a tree, nuff said and maybe he IS a little lanky but he’s MY sorta lanky (ive always been this way, the nickname for my crush in middle school was lanky tree like taht legit what he called him and looking back he WAS lanky af)

2 - Sharky

Sharky, Sharky, Sharky where do I even start? I think the Sharky girlies on here have said enough for me, he’s hot, he’s cute, he’s nice, he’s funny what more do you even want? And he dresses so NICE and his smile is so SWEET and he’s CARING like omg I might fall in luv and his Hands. Thats it. Look at his hands my Lordy lord.

1 - Darkest Man

my bae, my love, I will defend his bald head for life, Aaliyah has SPOILED me by mentioning how fine he was cus now i cant Stop watching every video ever with him in it, ive watched FootAsylum, his own channel, Chunkz Channel, Sharky’s Channel, even JD sports just to watch him on my screen like he’s so funny I’m cracking up every other second and he looks good doing it too and the faces he makes and HIS HANDS omg dont even get me started heiwkwkskfb I cnat even he’s my no. 1 🫶🫶

Done

ok so taht was my list and now im gonna nominate my mutuals to do this too, you can go for the same guests or choose your own its entirely up to you but I wann see some more opinions so please do it 🫶🫶

Taglist- @b4tasquad @allygatcr @shuuuuush @vctrvn-ls

Sadly that is all my moots, I thought I had more but thats it I guess, I hope yall can find time to do this otherwise its fine 😭🫶

[youremyheaven]

How should a woman know if a man has truly genuinely fallen for her and it's strong? What are the key signifactors to tell so?

Is arm guy your first love? Like true love?👀👀👀

How would you know? 🙈will it make you sad and jealous finding out he actually loved someone else before you? *Hypothetically*

Would it be okay if they stayed friend's with that person?

Ive been thinking about this topic about men and love. Tho experiences vary for people but as per some stats is it true that a man's first love or relationship is always going to be a significant part of them whether unrequited or heartbreak? They just can't forget them and unable to love the same as they did the first time? Even if it means dating, getting married and having a child

wowww these are some bigggg questions hmmm

ill try to answer them to my best ability (im prepared for my future self to laugh at me lmao but i trust that future heaven's in good hands<33)

How should a woman know if a man has truly genuinely fallen for her and it's strong? What are the key signifactors to tell so?

for me, love is as love does. this means, love is an ability not an emotion.

i HIGHLY recommend reading all about love by bell hooks. i read it for the first time as a 18-19yr old and it CHANGED me as a person. i think every person, ESPECIALLY WOMEN, should read it.

a lot of us have been conditioned to believe that love is this mysterious fluttery emotion that just randomly strikes us one day. whilst its possible to experience that, its important to not let our own understanding of love be limited to that. love is not just what we feel, its what we do.

if i say i love my dog but dont feed him or wash him, then what kind of love would that be?

a lot of people fail to grasp the psychology of abuse and why its hard for victims of abuse (myself included) to leave their abusers. its because despite everything, there is love there. there are moments of tenderness, warmth and affection. any wounded person would stay trying to lap up whatever little they get no matter how excruciating the relationship may be otherwise. it requires a different kind of personal healing to be dissatisfied with breadcrumbs and BELIEVE you're worthy of someone's love and affection ALL THE TIME.

if you love someone, you TREAT them well. you speak to them kindly. not just when it suits you BUT ALL THE TIME. yes ALWAYS. no matter the situation, there is a way to approach it with grace!! you think of their needs/interests/where they're coming from. you do things without asking or being asked. you do what is necessary.

if you love someone and they say they're hungry, you get them food. instead of saying "why dont you eat?". i remember the first night my pookie I were hanging out, I was experiencing some personal difficulties and he stayed with me the entire day, leaving his work behind and I went home really late that night and he bought me dinner to take home with me even though I refused because he knew I was alone and had a distressing day🥹🥹its a small gesture perhaps but the fact that he was so thoughtful and considerate really warmed my heart. 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬the fact that he knew I was a girl alone in the city, vulnerable, sad and in distress and treated me with the utmost grace and kindness 🧿🪬🧿🪬and what makes me melt is how I know that he would treat anybody in that position the same way because that's who he is as a human being, he is sensitive, kind and generous. if you think about it, he had no reason to be there for me. after all, i had rejected him and given him the cold shoulder, he could just tell me to buzz off when I called him in the middle of the afternoon of a workday lol but he didn't 🥺🥺

(this was a tangent)

you'll know a man loves you when is sensitive towards you and your needs. when he is attentive towards you. remembers your likes and dislikes. when he is protective and caring. ive always believed that when we're in love, we awaken the maternal/paternal instinct within us because biologically that's how we're rooted to care for others, i.e, by being nurturing and considerate. like if you're vegetarian and your bf takes you to a steakhouse, thats 🚩if they love you, they'll do every possible thing to make your life easier. obviously not all men express love in the same way.

but regardless of his personality, the important factor here is that he WILL SHOW IT in REAL TANGIBLE WAYS. maybell he'll get you a cheesecake, maybe he'll buy you flowers, maybe he'll write you letters or sing you songs or whatever but HE WILL SHOW YOU. he will make you feel special.

if a man does not make you feel special in any way, that means you're not special to him. which means he does not love you.

Is arm guy your first love? Like true love?👀👀👀

i fell in love for the first time when i was 17 and it changed me as a human being so that was my first love 😭 its too soon to say anything about arm guy etc yet 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬but he is a lovely human being and a GREEN FLAG AF 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬ask me again in a few months and hopefully then i'll have a better answer to this question hehe<333

How would you know? 🙈will it make you sad and jealous finding out he actually loved someone else before you? *Hypothetically*

he said he's only been in 2 relationships before and i somehow get the feeling that they weren't super lovey dovey 🧐🤔i dont know the full details of those relationships rn (one of them was with an older woman- altho she's only 2yrs older than him and they met at the gym??? lol?? but idk her vibes felt off to me 😒)

i think i'll know in that moment (that its love) and ofc ill yap about it here hehe lmaooo . i cant say what or how itll happen bc im not God 😭😭

i wont be sad if he's been in love before because i know that nothing could come close to what we have or how we are with each other 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬i feel very secure about that so nope hehe

Would it be okay if they stayed friend's with that person?

it depends on the person and the situation tbh,, some men have complicated relationships with their exes and thats what makes you feel like he'll go back to her any minute.

arm guy has been single for like 2 years, his ex moved overseas and all the roads are clear. if they occasionally reply to each others stories (which is what im assuming you mean by staying friends with an ex lmao) idc tbh lol

Ive been thinking about this topic about men and love. Tho experiences vary for people but as per some stats is it true that a man's first love or relationship is always going to be a significant part of them whether unrequited or heartbreak? They just can't forget them and unable to love the same as they did the first time? Even if it means dating, getting married and having a child

YESSS

This I wholeheartedly believe in. If you meet a man, you can always tell if he's had a significant "love" in his life. Because that will change you as a human being and the mark of that first love will be visible to anyone. Its like a wound you carry with you. you nurse it, you cover it up but its there. Men who've had that first love + heartbreak are a different species compared to men who haven't. They have that weariness to them, they understand women differently, they look at the world differently. First love + heartbreak builds character like NOTHING else ever could.

whenever men have that boyish sweet innocent vibe, I know they haven't known a "real" love and heartbreak yet. Thats the thing that makes a boy a man. And he will NEVER ever forget that woman until the day he dies.

men aren't wired the same way women are. male friendships are very low maintenance and low effort. the only space where men CAN share their emotions or be emotionally intimate with someone and share themselves deeply is in a romantic relationship. UNLIKE women who have profoundly deep relationships with other women as well. what this means is that, being in love, for a man, is 100x more vulnerable than it is for a woman because just the emotional intimacy of being that close to someone, sharing things with them, talking to them about stuff etc is BRAND NEW for them. imagine if you, as a woman, never had a friend before and made one for the very first time. wouldnt you be so cautious, nervous, scared, worried about every little thing etc because you dont want to lose them??

men lowkey get mad when they fall in love because it makes them sooo vulnerable, when usually they can just talk about football and drink a beer and go home. now he has to BE A PERSON and FORM A CONNECTION and its scary asf.

no man will ever forget the first woman he opened up to that way, the first woman he fell in love with. its his first taste of being seen as a human being.

even if it was unrequited love. the act of loving someone can make us more deeply human than anything else. it humbles us. it grounds us. even if they never love us back, we cant help but love them. there's nothing more profoundly humanizing than that.

i hope this answer helps<333

love,

Heaven

[nerves-nebula]

In exchange for my first born, could you please drop like a list of the original works youre currently invested in. With brief summaries/explanations. And maybe which OCs you’ve dropped, are from what story. Actually that’s a big ask… I raise the offer to do this for my first born and also a burger, please.

Well I am American so I suppose if there’s a burger on the line…

notes:

you can find every post i've ever made about any oc under the tag #nnoc

writing this made me realize i have a shit ton of OC's so i'm not going to write summaries of every character but i might put little blurbs next to the important ones.

im not gonna tag this with all the characters cuz thats too much rn. i'll just link it in my pinned or something.

Loose stitches / loose stitches related (comic):

My ongoing webcomic about feeling out of place in society & trying to go home

Dotty, Atchkie, Quinton (<- main characters of the comic) reg, willow, eden, Osard, Leilah, king eland, Bella-Bonnie, Cub strong, Pep strong, Clark, Beaumont, Leal Liggett, (related: Quinn, Clement, Hondo, Thatcher) + a bunch of characters I haven’t posted about yet

Etik/Maureno/Groe (no official name)

two immortals who hate/love each other co-parent an autistic girl with aspirations to save the rest of her siblings from their evil mom

Etik Allwile, Maureno Badger, Groe Caluna, Bee Caluna, Zaire, etiks 10 siblings, Benbeck, Margo

Lavonne & Ink Trap

some fairly new characters (ink trap & Lavonne) they’re a lesbian couple, one of them is rich and pays the other to write a popular critically acclaimed book series so that she can take the credit for it. Not much else to say so far ive been focusing on other stories

SA priest game (takes place in same setting as Quinn, Hondo, Thatcher & Clement)

an idea for a game that was originally gonna be about a priest getting sexually assaulted in their temple but has kind of spiraled and turned into something else entirely. very much under active construction and prone to change drastically at any point in time.

Characters: Soot, Benison, Brawn, Ife, Quinn

Chosen one shit (ck2)

Queenie(fake chosen one), Monday Archell (real chosen one)

Object head apocalypse

an apocalypse setting where the apocalypse monsters eat all humans except for object head people

Characters: Toasty (toaster object head), Marcus nightmare, Apple nightmare, Ezra and pet (2 characters who are also 1 character)

OCs made for my tmnt iteration:

Tmnt pasiflora (Donnie’s kid), Abe (guy who sexually abused children), Adelaide (Donnie’s shitty college gf),

Other miscellaneous characters:

Misha Mistaka & Kiln (torture OCs from high school math class)

Fella (main character of a video game idea I had as a teen)

Avin & wells (part of a comic I tried to make as a kid about a shapeshifter society, some of my first gay characters to get to exist in a wider story)

Pasiflora (existed before the tmnt version as a super villain who turned a hero to their side by treating him better than his hero coworkers did)

[forlorn-crows]

hiii crow!! do u have any hcs for transfem ghouls? or ghouls embracing femininity, ghoulette hcs, etc etc. love ur work and hope ur new year has been well!!

of course! i'll keep with the transfemme aspect bc i have two main ones i wanna talk about that i love. however, honorable mention to rain who is literally too pretty to be fair, that ghoul is always embracing his femininity in my brain.

okay so sunshine is first bc ive always hc'd her as transfemme. dont know why, but she just is to me! sort of the same way rain is transmasc. they just are. sunshine just screams girldick to me i dont know what to tell you haha. sunshine sort of sits around that typical 'tomboy' mode to me, spunky and energetic, but i think she still likes to embrace her feminine side just as often. likes when cumulus does her makeup or hair, or aurora tries on outfits with her. i dont see her as having a lot of the traditional dysphoria that her human counterparts might have. she rocks what she's got, and she likes the way she is. she is unapologetically herself, always!

now @crimsonclergy has made me obsessed with transfemme mountain lately. how pretty and soft she is, how rain is obsessed with her. she might get more dysphoria than sunshine does, being so tall, but she is treated so well by everyone else, always making her feel at home. she's no different than the mountain we all know as he/him. but something about mountain as a girl just makes my brain go !!! like i want to treasure her, hold her up like a marble statue and go LOOK at her! divine feminine and ethereal being wrapped up into one ghoul. and like i mentioned, i think her and rain would have something so special. rain treating her so good, so patient. i encourage everyone to look at crim's musings about her bc i love love love. maybe i'll write something about her this month <3

oh also shoutout to mountain's moms from @belle--ofthebrawl, those gals are great too. love the reimagining of the old earth ghouls as ghoulettes, bc we just dont hear a lot about the other earth ghouls apart from mountain. i recommend her stuff too <3

this isnt super detailed but those are the main things that popped into my head when i got your ask!

[freshlybakedspiderbread]

ive always wanted to talk a bit about how i feel about the connection between Yukari and Merry because i love the endless parallels and thematic connections (like everyone else on the planet 😁), but wondering if it was ever 'worth' it since i may just be spouting a lot of what is already considered 'common knowledge' among hifuu aficionados. Not to mention i think my thoughts on it are somehow both really messy but also crystal clear. 😐 Well whatever! Its my own head anyway so i'll try not to worry and am gonna attempt to elaborate even if just a little on this post, which may not be entirely coherent due to sleepy, post-medicine fatigue.

i feel like over the years i may have started to become reflexively more 'against' yukari = merry fandom, although 'against' is probably too strong and its much more complicated than just "i dont subscribe to that theory" because thats not even entirely accurate!

it is of course a classic and really cool idea of the Merry one day becoming Yukari has been and continues to be thoroughly explored by many many fans for moving, tragic, bittersweet, or thought provoking work. I love Absolute One-Way Street, and also Dream and Reality among many other works like it 📖

but i also think its a little stiffling to think of that as the one and only story to tell about them? Now its possible that the sentiment im about to express isn't actually common and im actually just making up a person to respond to, but i think taking the teasing connections between Yukari and Merry and treating the idea of them being the same individual as the absolute obvious truth is a bit of a limiting perspective.

Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions and headcanons! but i want to make a case that when it comes to touhou and especially hifuu in particular, there's also a richer (and possibly deliberate on the author? who knows!) point to treat it more abstractly.

Maybe they are the same person. Maybe one day Merry becomes Yukari, or Yukari becomes Merry. Maybe they're different people. Maybe they come from the same lineage. Or maybe one is a clone of the other grown in a lab or made with a magic spell.

None of that is as important to me as the the roles they serve in their stories. touhou has always had themes about the gap and the bridge between fantasy and reality by taking place in a world where fantasy seeks refuge from reality, and hifuu goes much further in that theme by taking place in a reality that has completely left behind fantasy. That parallel is really cool to me and its embodied perfectly by both stories having a purple-clad blonde girl with the means to poking their toes into the boundary between fantasy and reality.

In the fantastical world of touhou, one serves as gensokyo's powerful (if frustrating, shady, annoying, disagreeable) protector with allies that she watches over (and sometimes manipulates) with her great power, all to preserve their little wonderworld. And I think its sooo compelling how zun introduced hifuu in the music cds and designed a very similar-looking character, who lives in a stifled reality lacking in imagination, mostly spends her day chasing after even the smallest traces of dreams with a partner whose own small logical world expanded with infinite possiblities upon their meeting...

In the last few cds, Merry's powers may be growing stronger and i get why feeds the implication she's becoming something other than human. But my take on that has always been its more of a sign that she and Renko are already outliers in their world simply for daring to believe there is more to the world beyond facts and logic. I dont expect their story (assuming zun ever brings them back. we havent heard what theyre up to since 2016....) to ever end with both or either of them becoming a youkai or vanishing to gensokyo, because frankly that wouldn't serve any purpose for the themes hifuu has been about, which is embracing fantasy while living in a world that has abandoned it.

trying to remember what my point with this post is.... Oh right its that I think all these themes about the nature of gensokyo or the state of reality in hifuu are only made richer when you think about how they contrast with one another. And by extension, I think Yukari and Merry are both richer if you think of them as conceptual and thematic counterparts in two different stories on the opposite end of a similar spectrum, before thinking about what literal or objective connection they might have. Subjectivity definitely means more than objectivity in this case!

[1d1195]

Normal People IV

You can find the first two good parts and the mediocre third part here: Normal People *throws hands up* here's this part

Note: A flashback scene is in italics

“That’ll be the day—Harry doesn’t buy drinks for pretty girls.”

“Fortunately, Harry doesn’t think I’m all that pretty,” she winked.

“Kitten, please stop.”

Niall’s eyebrows perked up. “Oh, kitten,” Niall said. “M’sorry, I didn’t realize who you were."

Harry truly changed after that party. He didn’t see her anymore. There weren’t many days left of school, but when it rained, he was soaked now when he got home. But he bore that punishment. It was important he did because apparently, it was the only way he was going to learn.

He spent his summer working in a bakery and hiding from his friends. Any time they asked to hang out, Harry was busy. Another punishment that he deserved.

“She’ll forgive you,” Anne reminded him as he laid on the couch reading a book.

“Maybe she shouldn’t,” he said miserably.

It went without saying that the last punishment he took with grace was not kissing her sweet face anymore.

*

Harry got a room in a flat with a bunch of other guys from university. His closest roommate was Niall. He liked him a lot and saw him as a friend and he hoped he felt the same way. Niall had a bright outgoing personality and he invited Harry to every party and outing he attended. Harry said yes on occasion but ever since his last party of school, it didn’t feel right.

When he did go with Niall, he thought about how pretty she looked that last time and how terribly he treated her. Not sticking up for her was the worst thing he could do. Harry would do it all differently—the right way—in a heartbeat now. He thought about it a lot these days.

When he saw the ways his friends treated girls, and he didn’t feel it was the utmost proper respect, he said something. When he saw a girl that was too drunk at a bar or at a party, he made sure she found a way home safely or with a friend. It made girls fawn over him and he brushed all of it off. His friends teased him about it saying he was the only guy they knew who could get any girl he wanted but not want any of them.

But he couldn’t get any girl he wanted. There was only one. Harry didn’t date anyone during that time. He didn’t see the point. He lost the best girl he ever knew because he was an idiot. It didn’t make sense for him to pursue anyone else.

“There’s a girl in m’English lecture who likes you,” Niall told him. It wasn’t the first time Niall had tried to set him up. It led Harry to telling him the whole story—the whole ugly thing. Harry didn’t spare a detail and painted himself the villain of the story.

Harry smirked barely moving his gaze to look up from his notebook. “Thanks, Niall. M’not interested,” he said. “M’focused on studying these days.”

“I sure hope she’s worth all this moping for,” he muttered quietly. It wasn’t that Niall thought Harry was without blame...he just thought that if she was as lovely as he described, she wouldn’t want him moping for the rest of his life. Least not about her.

* “Harry, this girl has been staring at you for at least fifteen minutes,” Niall said to Harry over the crowd and live band. Harry had just a couple drinks, usually the brains of the operation making sure everyone made it home safely.

“Ni, seriously,” Harry murmured. “M’not—”

“Harry, she’s walking over,” Niall interrupted; he was excited. There was giddiness in his voice. Harry wanted to leave without even looking. But he didn’t want to be rude. There wasn’t anyone worth his time. “She’s in m’biology lecture,” he said. “Very smart...I think you would like her...you want me to pretend you’re taken or—” Harry was shaking his head as Niall talked loudly in his ear. He was ready to tell Niall to chill out and it would never be.

“Hi, Harry.”

There wasn’t a world in which this was real. There was only one girl, one person worth his time. And here she was. Why didn’t he just look over when Niall said something? Turning to the sound of her voice, he met her eyes and her gentle smiling face. It had only been about six months, but she looked older, more mature than she did in school. She looked...happy.

Harry’s heart was beating out in an unhealthy rhythm. It was radiating through his veins and made his fingertips numb. She was here. Right beside him. Looking so utterly gorgeous. “Oh, y’know each other?” Niall asked cheerfully.

“Hey, Niall,” she answered sweetly and smiled at him so kindly it melted Harry. He tried to look away from her, take a break so he wouldn’t faint thinking about how unbelievable this moment was. It was a second chance and he felt sick. But he didn’t even deserve the second chance. He was unsure of what to do.

“Hi, princess,” he said flirtishly. “Buy you a drink?”

“No thank you, m’leaving soon, but even still Harry would buy me one,” she smiled sweetly wrinkling her nose so cutely, Harry blushed at the sight of her.

“That’ll be the day—Harry doesn’t buy drinks for pretty girls.”

“Fortunately, Harry doesn’t think I’m all that pretty,” she winked. Harry felt sick and he shook his head as he called for the bartender. Niall was the one talking but she kept her gaze on Harry.

“Harry!” Niall gasped. “What makes you say that, princess?” He said winking at her and clapping Harry on the back with a joking smile. Harry wanted to die.

“Kitten, please stop.”

Niall’s eyebrows perked up. “Oh, kitten,” Niall said. “M’sorry, I didn’t realize who you were,” Niall smirked. “Harry will definitely be buying you a drink because you are stunning,” he promised and patted Harry on the back, gave the girl’s shoulder a gentle squeeze and meandered around a crowd to the other side of the bar.

She was still standing beside Harry, and he cleared his throat. “D’you want to sit?”

She shook her head. “You don’t have to get me a drink,” she said. “I am heading out, actually—but wanted to say hi.”

Harry told the bartender he wanted to pay for his tab, and he pulled money from his wallet before standing. “After you,” he said to her and gestured for the exit.

She tilted her head at him. “You don’t need to leave, Harry. I’m sure we’ll run into each other a lot more now that Niall knows—”

“M’not letting you out of m’sight, kitten,” he told her, stuffing his hands in his pocket. “Won’t be losing you again.”

“Harry, really—”

“M’not leaving you alone, love.”

*

Harry was surprised when she said she would prefer his place over hers—he wondered if it was because she knew she could “escape” if she wanted to. It was obvious she had more self-control in this scenario than Harry did. Harry wouldn’t want to leave if they went to her place. He would want to stay with her for...for forever, really. So it was best she could leave when she wanted to. Harry would let her—he wasn’t crazy. He just...missed her.

In Harry’s room she looked at his bed, with the same comforter set she recognized from Anne’s house. The desk was set up the same way as before. If she didn’t know any better, she could picture him at Anne’s house still. The only difference is he had a seascape on the wall above his head.

She stared at it for a few moments. “So, you’re staying a while then,” she said. “All moved in.” He nodded silently. Observed her pretty being in his room again after the longest time he’d gone without seeing her. “Cat got your tongue?” She wondered. He didn’t say anything, just kept looking at her. He was afraid to blink; if she disappeared, he would cry. But she needed to leave. Had to leave. Harry didn’t deserve her. He smiled at her nervously and shrugged. They were silent for a few moments. She scuffed her foot on the floor and then sat on his bed. “I...I...m’seeing a guy right now.”

His heart shattered. Of course she was. Only an idiot wouldn't be with her. “Yeah?”

She nodded. “He’s nice,” she shrugged.

“Good,” she deserved nice. She deserved the best, to be fair. But this was a start. Better than Harry. She sounded like she was hedging her bets though. Like she didn't want Harry to know something about him.

“He uh...” she pursed her lips together and stared at the floor in front of her in concentration as she spoke. She shook her head of whatever thought she was trying to form in her brain. “I don’t think it will last," she almost whispered the ending. Nervous about the thought.

“No?”

“No.”

“How come?” He wondered--he couldn't help it. He thought about being with her. If he was ever given the chance again he wouldn't blow it; wouldn't make a single mistake. He would pave her path with rose petals and make sure she had everything her heart desired.

She leaned back on his bed and the movement wasn’t lost on Harry--he thought about how his pillow would smell like her when he fell asleep tonight. It hadn't smelled like her shampoo in months and he thought it would be the cure to all the negativity he felt. He leaned against the wall opposite the bed so he would join her on his mattress. He stuffed his hands in his front pockets. “I think he thinks I’m too independent. He doesn’t...do anything for me.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked.

“I do all the planning and the...everything...and when we kiss or...” she trailed off and Harry’s heart shattered into another piece thinking about the end of the sentence that she was kind enough to forgo. “I just don’t...I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” she shook her head. “I shouldn’t be telling you this. You must think I’m nuts.”

“No,” he shook his head back at her. “No, kitten. I don’t.”

“You really need to stop with the kitten stuff.”

Bravely--and because his resolve to stay away from her was crumbling by the millisecond--Harry crossed the length of his room to her and knelt beside his bed. She turned her head to look at him and she smirked. “Kitten,” he said gently. She opened her mouth to protest but he spoke quickly before she could. “He should do everything for you,” he said simply and pressed a hand on the inside of her wrist. It felt like touching a pan fresh out of the oven. It burned Harry to touch her—he’d never felt anything like that in his life. If it were a pan from the oven, he would have released it; but all he wanted was to hold tighter and feel more of a burn.

“I don’t really let him do anything for me, though. To be honest.”

“He should do it anyway.” She leaned on her elbows propping herself up just a bit. Harry was still touching her forearm. He was afraid if he released, he wouldn’t feel her warmth anymore. That she would get up and leave him. He didn’t deserve her presence.

But he wouldn’t be the one to tell her to go.

“I think I repel love,” she admitted and lowered herself back to her bed. Harry wanted to say he loved her, and he wasn’t repelled at all. He was so attracted to her he could have melted himself to her body and it wouldn’t be close enough. “Like there’s something wrong with me,” she snorted.

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you, love.”

She didn’t say anything for a few moments. “How about you? Any ladies in your life?”

“No,” he chuckled wryly. He released the grip on her forearm in favor of trailing his finger along her veins instead. “Uh...m’afraid I’ve repelled the one lady I love.”

She turned her head to him and stared at him without any emotion in her eyes. Not anger, not distrust, not happiness, not anything. “She doesn’t sound like someone you should be with,” she said softly.

“I would give the world t’be with her.” She was silent as she scanned Harry’s face. She didn’t respond because she couldn’t. Harry knew she was wondering why she wasn’t enough when they were in school. Why he wouldn’t give her the world before. “I made so many mistakes,” he whispered.

She turned her head in the other direction. “Don’t,” her voice cracked. She shook her head and Harry was silent again. He just kept tracing her skin.

He thought about one of their afternoons.

Harry was kissing her as if his lungs were in her body. When they finally stopped to catch their breath for a few minutes he kept his lips hovering over hers. His nose bumped into hers. His fingers tugging and brushing through her hair. “I think you’re my best friend,” she told him.

“Yeah?” He smiled. He liked that. He liked being her friend.

“You know what I’m thinking before I tell you.”

He was quiet for a few moments, and he thought about all the ideas and things he had in his head. He wished she knew them all. “I like that,” he admitted. “I like...knowing you.”

She smirked. “What do you want to do in college?” She asked.

“M’not sure,” he admitted. “’Ve always wanted to do something with...music. But m’told that’s a silly choice. I’d probably do something with English.”

“Why wouldn’t you do what you want to do?”

“It’s not a smart choice,” he shrugged. “I won’t make very much money...I don’t think—"

“I don’t think doing something you don’t love is a smart choice. I know it’s easier said than done...but who cares about money?”

She bit her lip. Harry wondered the last time someone encouraged him like that. Even his mum worried about his financial stability. “Music, eh?”

“I think so,” she answered. “How long until your mom comes home?”

“Fifteen or so.”

“Better kiss me again, then, Harry.”

It was the last time he kissed her. He was looking at her eyes, they were closed looking away from Harry—as if he pained her. He probably did.

“Do y’want to Uber back to your place?” He asked softly avoiding the previous topic.

“Don’t want me here?” She smirked wryly; the worry etched in her face from his last statement was gone and she turned back to face him.

“Don’t be silly, kitten.”

“Can I ask you a random question? And then I'll leave." He didn't want her to leave but he nodded anyway. "What are you majoring in?"

Harry wondered if she could see into his brain. There was no way she knew he was thinking about that without some sort of superhuman capabilities. She said that Harry always knew what she was thinking but here she was all the same, knowing exactly what was on his mind.

"Music."

She smiled, genuinely. So heartfelt, it ached Harry down to the bone. "Good."

Harry thought about love being a superhuman ability a lot when he fell asleep to the smell of her hair on his pillow.

Really, the song of her wrote itself.

--

taglist: @feestyles @sunshinemoonsposts @matildasatellite @asmilinghopefullromantic @macy-tpwk

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

closure - J.S

evermore masterlist | marjorie | evermore

Warnings: mentions of sex, morning after, allusions to death, war, breaking up

Summary: you knew your relationship was just for fun but when he broke up with you to protect you, you weren't going to let that happen.

Wordcount: 1.2k

Your friends with benefits situation with jake seresin was complicated to say the least.

He was a naval aviator for the US navy and you were just a bar maid working in the nearby area. 

For the last 6 months you had been sleeping together, grasping the warmth of the lonely nights and holding him tight when it all got too much. 

There was something special about Jake seresin that you had never seen in anybody before. 

He was cocky and arrogant and it seemed like he was the epitome of a narcissist. But with you, he was soft and caring and seemed like he wouldn't even hurt a fly. 

It was something about him that you could study for hours, the switch of his personality when it came to someone he loved fascinated you. 

It was a no strings attached situation but very quickly into it, you had fallen head over heels for the tall blonde man in ways you never thought you would. 

His friend who was stationed with him, Phoenix, had warned you of his playboy ways. She had told you that he was known to sleep with girls and leave them quickly - although she did note that he seemed uncharacteristically attached to you. 

You couldn't care less about whatever anyone else had to say about your unconventional relationship, it wasn't hurting either of you and you were getting something good out of it. 

Or at least you were until one night as he held you under the covers, you could feel the tension in the air. 

He was holding a secret from you and though you tried to ignore it, you couldn’t bear it. You took a deep breath, looking up at him to see he was staring at you. 

“You know I can sense that something is wrong,” you said, not even looking at him. Something was going on and you needed to know. 

He took a deep breath, looking down at you, a hand coming up to caress your cheek, the pad of his thumb tracing your cheekbone. 

“Ive been called back to Top Gun for a mission and its going to be dangerous,” he explained, breath hitching in his throat, “I don’t know what its about, i just know that I might not make it back,”

You took a deep breath, averting your eyes from him. You didn't want him to see the tears pooling in the corner of your eyes as you thought about him not coming back. The words cut deep, down to the bone and you didnt know what you would do if he didnt come back. 

He brushed the tears from your cheeks once they spilled over your waterline. You sat up, one of his old shirts covering your frame and he sat up as well, the covers falling off to show his nude torso. 

He felt guilty for what he was about to do but he knew what was going to be the best thing for you, he knew he had to put something between you and him, something that would save you from the torment of losing someone. 

“I think we should break up,” he said. 

Your eyes darted to his, more tears spilling over as you contemplated what he had just said, “Excuse me?” You questioned, almost in disbelief. 

Jake took a shaky breath before looking at you, “I think we should break up, I cant let you get hurt,” he said. 

He thought that it would be the best thing for you, breaking your heart now before his permanent absence would 

Jake expected you to just be another thing he regretted a wrinkle in your new life. You weren't going to stay friends after this and he was ready to accept it if it meant that you were going to be saved from the heartbreak of it all. 

You were in shock, your upset turned into anger at his ridiculous reasoning. You weren't going to let him give up on the two of you so easily. 

“You can't push me away!” You exclaimed, “I can't believe that you’re treating me lie some situation in the Navy that has to be handled. Like a job,”

He sighed, “My job is why I have to end it with you, I’ve seen women cry over their dead husbands and I can't do that to you,” he explained. 

He seemed to think that breaking up with you and sparing you from being the girlfriend of a dead man was better then actually being there for him. He seemed to think that this was some sort of closure. 

“Would you have married me Seresin? Do you have these feelings for me because clearly you care,” you explained, asking him that important question. 

He sighed, biting his lip to keep the words in, “Of course I care about you Y/N and that’s why I can't let you get hurt,” he explained. 

You shook your head, disagreeing completely with his absurd ideas. 

“I’m going to leave now,” he said, standing up and reaching for his clothes, “I hope you have a good life babe,”

You knew he had told you not to come but you went to the air base with the second phoenix message and said that they were coming back. There were a handful of other people there, parents, husbands, wives, and a small child. You just couldn’t wait to see Jake again. 

Other people started rushing towards their loved ones and Jake just started to walk ahead, not thinking anyone had turned up for him. 

You froze on the spot the second you saw him, his hair rushed back in worry from his hands running through it and a defeated but proud look on his face. 

You called out his name and he froze. He turned to look around for you and the second he saw you standing there, his jacket wrapped around your shoulder all time stopped. 

He had told you to leave, that it would be better for you if you had no part in it all. This was the moment he knew that you were the one for him, the person he was ready to spend the rest of his life with. 

Once the shock wore off, a smile lit up his face and he started running, feet heavy on the tarmac as he englufed you in a hug, lifting you up and spinning you around. You grinned as you held him tight, glad that he was alive. 

As soon as he set you down and before you could talk to him and ask him how he was, he captured you in a kiss, a deep and passsionate kiss that meant that he loved you. It was a promise that