#ive been in an art mood lately idk

[fiendishartist2]

random astroboy doodles that idk if i'll finish

[chibibunnis]

sanji doodles

[sindrakart]

redesigned her AGAIN

[strangerasher]

hey I don’t usually post art but I made this and I guess it looks kinda cool

[catamaurrr-star]

giving myself this as a trophy

[voidimp]

i need to hurt my ocs does anyone have any drawing prompts

[lavenderjewels]

why do i keep running into hate for the yuki cover on tiktok and twitter

[matoitech]

hellohello!!! 🎼 🙌 (if you want to) and 🌊 for the artist asks !! >:3

🎼 Your favorite music to draw to right now?

i usually draw to like my most recent liked songs on spotify but sometimes a new playlist i want to listen to or one of my other playlists that fits the mood/character im working on. sometimes i'll put on a youtube video in the background so not even music but i also just draw silently lol

🙌 Draw a doodle with your non-dominant hand

this is the first thing i drew in a week lol. buff saber tooth tiger men with horns are kind of a doodle go-to for me lately

🌊 What’s the hardest thing for you to draw? 

hmm idk about the Hardest since theres so many things that r hard in art for me or not my focus, but ill go with shoes for this one cuz i love SEEING shoes in art but ive been sad im not very good at like drawing or designing them, i need to do a ton of shoe studies i want to be one of those artists whose just like super good at shoes and ppl r always like damn ur shoe art is so good. thats my dream

[theygotlost]

I'm really sorry guys but i dont think I have any more artfight in me. i have been defeated. i just cant find any kind of motivation to work on more attacks and i feel dread thinking about it like it's some kind of job. this might be my last year participating because I've become so allergic to creating art for other people unless its under an incredibly specific and arbitrary set of circumstances. i love everyone's ocs so much they are so so cool and I really do wish i could draw them but its so hard to make myself do it and when i do its hard to enjoy the process.

this is combined with the fact that lately ive just been feeling kinda unspired and I havent been feeling great about my art as a whole for the past like 2 months at least. I feel like i've stagnated again and i need to change how I do things like I did last year but now that I already did that big overhaul and experimentation with my style im out of ideas for how to change it and i feel like im stuck.

idk maybe i will be able to make a few more attacks before the month is out if the mood so strikes me but I can't promise anything. i just feel frustrated with myself and it sucks. i do have some other ideas for fanart I kind of want to draw but i would feel bad for drawing anything not artfight related during july cause it feels like I'm disrespecting and/or ignoring the other participants when i could be using that time to draw for them WHICH I REALIZE IS STUPID AND FAKE AND NOT TRUE AT ALL AND NOT A HEALTHY MINDSET TO HAVE BUT THATS JUST HOW IT FEELS !!!!!

wahtever this all probably stupid as hell i hate feeling this way. i gotta take a break or change or die

[curioscurio]

Idk how to make this a Read More on mobile so uh cw vent or whatever.

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so hey guys ive been having an anxiety attack that's lasted over 24 hours now at this point of just nonstop crying and dramatic drops in mood and a roaring self loathing so intense that it's physically painful. i have no idea what triggered it and any attempt to express how I feel with art feels laughably inadequate. ive always had anxiety and my depression has gotten more serious lately but I've never had an episode so intense. it makes me wanna wax poetry about how much I despise myself. fucking cringe hamlet ass anxiety attack. anyway

[novaazurite]

Expect me to make more art of my object ocs more often because I feel like ive been neglecting them and I dont want them to go unused. I havent been feeling like myself lately and im not sure why. So I make take frequent breaks off every so ofen off this site. Im absolutely not using my Tumblr to vent but just know if you interact with me/direct message me on Discord just be a little careful because im in a more vulernable/emotional state. I've been more in a Book-ish mood than usual so I might make more things related to Book (barely), or more art with Dictionary(Puraze) I think its just a coping thing but bare with me. Idk why Dictionary has two alternative names, Puraze is just another name that they were originally called, and that some people call her that while I call them Dictionary.

[broodsys]

venting abt creative woes feel free to ignore <3

it has been really hard for me to post art, both drawing and writing. it's not just about engagement/lack thereof or abt concrit or about anything in particular. i just get so caught up in comparisons and breaking things down and wanting to be objectively "better" at it and idk if i'm even enjoying it anymore.

sometimes i think seriously about stopping? i'd still create but. just for me. idk.

and im having mixed feelings about fandom in general. idk. it's late at night and it's been dark for too many hours and ik that's putting me in A Mood(tm) but it's still been! hard! and i get sad and frustrated and self-conscious all the time

it just feels like im out here putting my ugly shit next to everyone's polished pretty pieces. and ik, ik, two cakes, i've been trying to internalize that, but it's hard right now. i cannot stop thinking about the pretty fics ive read and i cannot stop being so fucking envious of them and it feels gross! like i should just appreciate them? they're lovely, mine doesn't have to and shouldn't be a replica, etc etc, all these things i know intellectually, but... ugh.

and it's extra frustrating bc i know ppl like my stuff, esp my writing. they do! they've said it! ppl who have no cause to lie to me, strangers, etc. but i just can't feel it and im so... envy demon has a fucking hold of me lmao.

might be circling back to the going too fast/pushing myself too hard thing again. but i've just been dealing with the constant undercurrent of severe frustration with everything i attempt. i try to shake it off but idk, if it's this consistent...?

ugh. idk. i've been going back and forth on this for a while. do i push through? do i try to drop my standards? do i just keep all my stuff to myself? unknown.

like, no matter what im finishing my bigfic. for me. but idk. should i even bother posting it? it's not... it's not about engagement. it's about the fact that i feel like the whole thing is just kinda... an embarrassment? like i cannot stop looking at it thru the most critical, least compassionate version of a potential audience and it's fucking with me so bad. when im writing i enjoy it, i think it's cool, i think it's good. but then i post it and after a while im just so embarrassed. i still think it's good! but it's still also embarrassing! i've worked hard for years to learn to trust my audience, to not spoon-feed them every bit of information and then follow it up with a quick confirmation just to make sure they're getting it, but now i feel like i'm being drawn back into that.

i read it. i've reread it a few times, in fact, for pleasure and not for editing. i love it? but im also so embarrassed by it whenever im not like... actively reading it. it's just disheartening.

idk. it's my personal baggage more than anything ig.

anyway im genuinely not asking for my ego to be stroked here or w/e, just- this has been weighing kinda heavily on me for quite a while. it's very frustrating.

[haejjoon]

HELLO YES IM BACK strap in folks i hope u dont mind the spam cuz i love vomitting out brainworms online. Im glad my ask put u in a good mood! Because ur reply put me in one!! Anyways once again i love checking this blog like the daily newspaper to see everyone discussing things so fun

First of all i did see ur art of that rank 1! Powerful homoeroticism. I really enjoyed it. The "go all out? That sounds like fun" HEBDIWBZUWBIZN???????? Has the same vibe as goro's "ill need all the practice i can get to take you out" just the phrasing and the double meaning behind every one of these losers interaction constantly makes me go Oh? Oh! Oh... Oh! Ohhhhhhhhh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Secondly, do not even get me started on the fucking romance options in the game. Im aroace and i haaate when every single confidant story with a girlie just has to go "wow u have helped me so much and ur so kind.....it must be because u have a crush on me!" Or "we've come to the obligatory rank where i somehow from somewhere at some point in time developed feelings for u and i have to ask u out!" Fuck no! Stop treating romantice relationships as the destined "upgrade" to your already existing friendship for fucks sake. Like i get that its a game mechanic for the players to have their fun and what not but it just pops out of nowhere sometimes and comeon even kawakami?????

On that note, idk how this fits but i love self projecting and hcing akiren and goro being on the aroace spectrum too but they haven't figured it out yet so it just makes the whole mess of complicated feelings between them even funnier

Goro to ann: "i hate this guy so fucking much" "are you sure you don't just have a crush on him" "what's a crush"

Goro: i hate how pretty that man is. i have to tackle him. i have to pin him down to the ground. no ann i do not want to hug him i want to Violently Crash My Body Into Him

It just adds more spice yaknow?

(Anyways thank you again for the food and happy lunar new year if u celebrate! 🍊🧧🍊🐇)

ehe the go all out line was probably my favorite, next to holmes/watson. thinking about the fact that akira can't do all-out attacks on his own in swap bc he doesnt have teammates... so of course going "all out" would be fun

yeah :( honestly i do feel sorry for turning the girls down but it'd just make me worse to accept their feelings. it really does say a lot about how theyve been treated by the men thus far, to start romantically liking the first guy who's half decent to them. ugh ladies this is why you gotta look at each other (looking at you, makoharu)

my goro has probably never had a romantic attraction to anyone in his life! ive always headcanoned him as sexually attracted to men, but demiromantic if that makes sense? hes got SO much going on with him, romance just isn't wven a possibility in his mind until akiren comes along

(happy late lunar new year to you too! im so sorry it took this long to respond aiooaaoaaooaoa i hope you're doing well <3)

[udon-udon]

anyway, depresso vent post again

not sure if it's just a coinkidink but god, i've been getting depresso BEFORE my pre-period PMS which sucks cause i get twice the depresso come on man wtf

but anyway, idk things have been triggering me a lot lately and idk if it's cause of the stress of all the things i have to do + lack of art career direction + seeing everyone advance and im not advancing/feeling like im being left behind + the stress from work + internal battles and issues i haven't solved yet that i keep gaslighting myself that i've solved but clearly they are not solved + the existing family issues. I feel like yeah most likely that's causing my additional wave of depresso but i also hate that it just comes out of nowhere. I was pumped and all cause I started going to the gym and then suddenly i'm like falling to the floor help ive fallen and can't get up.

i'm also not much of a crier, i hate crying simply cause it takes a lot of energy so i don't really cry much unless im super frustrated or wtvr, but i've been finding myself wanting to cry more so than ever, starting from a few months ago????? I still try not to cause i hate crying, but theres always that tight feeling in my throat like i want to cry u know. And yes, I know crying it out is good for you, but ugh.

I also have been yet again putting a shit ton of more stuff on my plate than I should be what's new, and that's also causing stress as well cause I want to do so many things but I obviously don't have the time for it. I'm still slowly chipping away at my art commissions and I planned on having them done by Feb 1 but i dont think that's gonna happen.... But after art commissions is art print grind cause I need to overhaul my old anime convention art prints... And then I had the idea of creating a side brand that sells only udon related merch (so less anime, and more cute) and because it's a whole new brand, there's a lot of effort/designing/money to be put in and.... that's... more things to do in so little time. Why do I do this to myself. I still really want to do it though!!!! But at what cost, udon... at what cost....

And of course, seeing people be successful makes me feel down cause I don't have what they have and they have what I want yada yada insert pitiful stuff. I'm happy for these people but obvs i can't help but be envious and my brain being like "you're never gonna be enough/never gonna get what they have" and then i want to stab a knife in my brain hello. It's hard to see my own successes when I keep looking at other people's successes, which sucks, cause I've done a lot of cool things, but I keep unregistering them because it's not my ideal success or something idk

Also I think what mostly triggered this month's mood swing is seeing/feeling that someone's leaving me (?) Seeing someone I enjoy being with happier/enjoying someone else's company more. And I'm being totally irrational with that because ofc there are so many other factors. I can't control what other people feel/do and I'm not the center of the universe!!! But in this/that moment it makes me feel like I'm not enough, that I'm boring or wtvr, not loved. And we all know how much I struggle with that 🤪 basically my abandonment issues kicking in, but also my brain being really irrational

I guess this month's theme is I feel like I'm not enough :' ) and also way too many things on my plate yet again, and the stress that I kind of forgot during the December holiday catching back up to me again :)

[abcdosaka]

media time

im soo excited for the jjk anime. the manga is really good rn too the fight is so interesting. when gojo dies >>

ive also been reading hiroyuki nishimori manga lately. i started w i'm doshiro bc i was high and i read the description and it sounded funny and i read like 25 chapters and it was actually a knee slapper especially high it was really really good. it started getting a little serious after that so reading it sober i was like ._. but it was still fun. i might reread the beginning bc i really forgot

then i read all of cheeky angel and now i'm watching the anime. im kinda obsessed with it like idk its really really good and same thing happened where it was funny but then shit got really serious toward the end but i think it worked better here. its interesting bc its kinda dated (obviously since its 20 years old) but also very progressive in its view of gender roles.

like since the audience thinks that megumi is a boy and has the mind of a boy she is right to think the way she thinks/behaves, i.e. her want to be cool and reliable and strong is taken seriously but even given the spoiler that doesn't change she's still a serious character which i really appreciate. obviously bro did not have trans people in mind when creating this manga but it’s interesting to see the idea of changing genders taken seriously when normally genderbending is like a fetish thing in manga. and literally every character is bisexual as a result thats crazy. even keiko. i love keiko she's so much funnier in the anime idk who they got doing her voice but she's a star. anyway point is its nice that in the end, even though her identity is important to her, equal importance is given to her as a person

oh also abt the manga. the viz translation is really... like idk who was translating it but anime fans in the early 00s were not real bro nobody talked like that not even in american comics or whatever they were trying to emulate to make them appeal to western audiences. they were doing way too much esp in the early chapters. it got better later on but overall the anime delivers the comedy way better

ig the one thing thats like ermm is that the gender roles are sooo enforced in the society depicted in the manga like ik its how it is/was but damn. my parents go easy on me like i haven't done anything feminine (that was forced on me and wasn't out of my own desire to act feminine) basically ever. and i was never really all that feminine anyway. maybe its bc i was pretty passive too so they let it slide

the early art style was so pretty im kinda sad it changed but ig its nice how stylized it became toward the end. also the 2nd ending is SO good

anyway i will be reading kyo kara ore wa after. reading these made me realize i love delinquent manga. oh i might finally continue reading slam dunk too i'm in the mood for some old shit

what else. i watched paul high. that shit was ASS truly terrible idk wtf letterboxd reviewers are on there was maybe 2 funny lines and im surprised bc some really good comic actors are in that like they couldn't have spoke up and been like hey maybe we should stop embarassing ourselves. points for the lesbian tho i forget her name but its sue sylvester. but anyway i was high and that movie had me completely stone faced like WHAT

last thing. im looking forward to hwasa cb. she released some of her greatest hits when she had auburn hair so i am ready for her to serve

[braincrabs]

Idk why but I've been very interested in my tradition from twitter to tumblr lately

Twitter and Tumblr both have a lot of negativity on them, but being able to read full posts and have multiple pictures etc allows for much healthier communication between users

I also feel far less impulsive. I don't see a short Hot Take that isn't well explained and want to give my own two cents nearly as much because long posts allow for people to explain themselves or argue with other takes in a more fleshed out way.

Ive felt a lot more at peace using Tumblr in terms of website structure. On the other hand twitter has turned into a game of chance and mood whiplash. I'll scroll down after seeing lots of cute art only to see a video of a woman being abused. It's happened more than once and at this point and I just don't want to take the chance anymore on top of all the other negativity.

So thank you tumblr for not being so stressful and full of cool blogs about bugs and mold.