#ive been going to bed SO early lately ((as in i was literally asleep before 9 last night))

[uwooyoungs]

//

[v1ctor14aaa]

~ enha maknae line when u ignore them bcz they forgot ur bday ~

MASTERLIST | HYUNG LINE VER.

warning: way too long, cursing, mentions of abuse, mentions of trauma, attempted murder

genre: fluff, slight comedy

pairings: enha x y/n (fem reader)

featuring: chaewon (lesserafim), wonyoung (ive)

a/n: here we go, idk if u were waiting for this but eh🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️. im sorry if they are too long, lol i was enjoying sm. i recently just opened my asks so if u have reqs or wants to be added to my taglist hmu! english is not my first language so im sorry for the error if therew is one. lmk if i should stop making plots in these kind of posts lol. ALSO IM SO SORRY THIS WAS POSTED LATE, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO POST A DAY AFTER THE HYUNG LINE BUT THEN I JUST SAW THIS IN MY DRAFTS...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tomorrow is a special day for you, it's the day you have been anticipating the most. you couldn't sleep the whole night because of the excitement for this day to come, your birthday. you weren't excited because it was your birthday, you were excited of what your boyfriend is planning for your day. however, when a day has passed and it's finally the day, you didn't expect your boyfriend to forget it.

kim sunoo (김선우)

it was night and you were already ready to sleep but when you went in the bedroom, you see your boyfriend smiling ear-to-ear looking at his phone.

"did something good happen??" you tried to peak at his phone but he immediately closed it and hugged you.

"YES but i can't tell you yet baby, it's going to be a surprise!! i will tell it to you tomorrow morning once you wake up."

there we go, what you wanted to hear before your bday starts. you thought that everything seems to be going fine and you were pretty much just glad your boyfriend didn't forget your bday. hearing sunoo, you were unable to sleep due to excitement to what could happen tomorrow in your bday. you've been thinking and wondering what could it be as you change positions on the bed non-stop. sunoo was still smiling and seeing you not being able to sleep he playfully rolled his eyes at you (still smiling), he knew you were excited but if he's going to be that honest he wasn't actually expecting you to be that excited. he saw you excited a lot of times and you weren't really acting the same but he shrugged it off and slept.

----- time skip -----

you woke up at 4am, you thought it was still night time so you checked the clock and saw the time. you couldn't believe you woke up at that time, oh wait let me repeat: you did believe you would wake up at that time because you're so excited and you couldn't wait for sunoo to surprise you. you tried going back to sleep but you just couldn't take your mind off about the "surprise", you were so curious, you were literally moving non-stop in the bed to the point you woke sunoo up.

"y/n, i know you're excited but please let me sleep. it's so early in the morning." he whined.

"can't you just do the surprise right here, i wouldn't be able to go back to sleep." you pouted.

sunoo who is half-asleep still managed to see you pout in the dark, he could never resist it so he sat up and said...

"I GOT TICKETS!"

"TICKETS TO WHAT OR WHERE?"

"ITALY, we're in first class too. oh, our flight is actually in 4 hours."

"WAIT WHAT?!"

hearing those last sentence made you panic, you ran to the cabinets and drawings to get packing. this whole thing wasn't supposed to be a surprise, sunoo just wanted to see how you would be if something like this happen. he likes to tease you every time but when you do it to him, you will regret your whole life.

midway packing, you were thinking how can sunoo possibly afford 2 first class tickets to italy so you decided to ask him.

"love, how did you afford the tickets?"

"it's not mine's but the company's."

"company? why would the company give you money to get tickets for something like this?"

"well obviously it's for work. i will model for milan fashion week this year, and i begged my manager to get you a ticket as well. isn't that great?" he smiled.

"oh." you were in utter shock finding out that it wasn't for your birthday but for his work, you thought it was sweet for him to beg his manager to get you a ticket as well but you were somehow disappointed. as you continued packing, a lot of thoughts are swarming in your mind. and, those thoughts just kept making you feel down. sunoo noticed how your mood suddenly changed, he thought that maybe you weren't happy due to the fact that you both are going to italy. he tried to ask you what was wrong but you were so down that you couldn't bother to reply so you gave him the silent treatment. sunoo doesn't like it when you ignore him. he would usually try to argue about it but seeing you down made him think if he did something wrong or what made you suddenly change your mood.

----- time skip -----

you both arrived in italy, you had to go out in different time because you were still trying to keep the relationship private since you both doesn't want issues to happen with your career. actually, everyone already knows sunoo is dating someone but they don't know that it's you. anyway, you went out of the airplane first without telling sunoo and that made him worried. he was looking you everywhere in the airplane plus he was a bit mad because you ignored him the whole flight. knowing him, he had a lot to share but you just weren't interested. sunoo's manager told him to go and leave now, he asked the flight attendants if there was any passenger left but there was none. the manager insisted to just call you and ask your whereabouts. sunoo gave in, and since he's a popular model a lot of paparazzi and fans that are waiting for him. no matter how many people were there he only focused on looking for you but there was just too many people that they had to leave immediately.

back to you, you are already in the hotel. already lying down the bed, watching the tv seeing sunoo just went out. when you saw sunoo on the tv, you had to turn it off. you were waiting for him to mention your bday the whole time but your expectations just got turned down, i guess. a few minutes later, sunoo arrived in the hotel. he was calling you non-stop and it looked like he was about to die when he couldn't see you anywhere. the manager volunteered himself to carry the luggages to his room so that sunoo can look for you. sunoo actually ran to his room but didn't see you there which made his heart drop, he was about to cry at this point.

he was about to go down using the elevator but then you went out of a room and he sees you, he ran to you and tried hugging you of course, but you immediately shut the door. he actually jumped when you closed the door because it was so loud, now he's just standing in front of the room, confused. he knocked and knocked but no answer. you feel bad for ignoring him but you just can't seem to talk to him at all. he was even shouting out of your room but his manager stopped him.

"sunoo, don't shout. the people might find out you are here."

"i dont care, i want to be with my girlfriend and talk to her."

"you should go to your room, i think shes just tired and went to sleep. you will be modeling tomorrow morning so you need to rest too."

sunoo was still being stubborn and tried to wait for you to come out but his manager managed to get him inside his room already.

----- time skip -----

it's the day for sunoo's modeling! normally, people would get nervous and excited for something like this but for sunoo, he wasn't even feeling anything at all except being worried. he's been thinking about last night. you were also unresponsive in the morning 'till now, hes at the site and getting ready while you went out to explore some shops. you tried to forget the fact sunoo just forgot about your bday which is why you went out to try and celebrate late. to your surprise while you were walking down the street, there was a huge crowd. well, guess who you saw

it was sunoo. for a second there, you forgot that you are supposed to be disappointed and mad at him but you got distracted by his handsomeness. like how can you get mad at this boy but you pulled yourself together and kept walking straight ahead but your dear boyfriend did not fail to notice you and shouted "y/n!". you were extremely terrified at that moment, you knew there were a lot of paparazzi and fans around and he just called you that. you were worried that someone might hurt you and suddenly will follow you around to ask questions about sunoo. thank gosh you were fast enough to think of a solution which is... to ignore him. everyone looked at your way but they didn't notice that it was you that sunoo was calling.

at this point, he got irritated of you. he didn't care about his career, he ran all the way to you and held your hand. you were shocked and before you even say anything, you both were already running. he dragged you to somewhere private.

he looked at you with an angry look and said "love, please talk to me. i miss you so much, it already has been 1 day since you ignored me. i want to know if i did or said something wrong. it hurts me that you don't even want to talk to me, i hate it when you do this."

"i...." you were to stunned to speak, this was the first time sunoo raised his voice to you. the first time you guys weren't in good terms or was it just you being so over dramatic that lead to this. you started crying, your back slowly slid the wall and sat. sunoo's heart dropped, he didn't want to make you cry. he didn't know what to do so he just hugged you "baby, no. im sorry, i didn't want to make you cry." you stopped crying and then you found this situation funny, you started laughing. dude, when i tell you, sunoo was so confused. he literally froze and started asking if this was a prank or some shit because it isn't funny.

"no, honey. i just find myself funny for crying for something like this..."

"you. you finally talked to me." he hugged you again but tightly this time as if you were going to disappear sooner or later. "now, tell me. why have you been acting that way all these time?"

you went silent again so sunoo sat beside you and changed the topic because he didn't want you to keep ignoring him, he already got your attention and he didn't want to risk it. you both had small talks and laughed at each other's jokes then you finally decided to tell him, you hesitated at first because it was embarrassing to say right now.

"sunoo, i..... i'm sorry for what i did yesterday and today. i wanted you to remember what was yesterday's occasion which is my bday but it seems like you forgot about it but still i shouldn't have acted that way and could've just mentioned it sooner. i was being stubborn, aren't?" you laughed and hid you face because you were so embarrassed. your face got red while you were talking. sunoo rolled his eyes and laughed at you "well, i'm sorry too for forgetting your bday which i can't believe that i did. anyway, my manager is probably looking for me now. love, is it alright if we celebrate your bday somewhere romantic later? im sorry that you didn't get to celebrate yesterday."

"yeah, you should probably go now. bye." sunoo stood and gave his hand to you. "answer my question, love. can we celebrate your lovely bday later?"

"ok. yes. yes, love." he felt relieved and smiled, he kissed you goodbye before running back to the site while you sat again and giggled like you just talked to your crush for the first time. you were wondering, however if what could've happened if you ran away from him earlier. i can answer to that, he would've probably argued with you.

yang jungwon (양정원)

you were so excited for tomorrow because it's your bday and especially because it's also your bf's day off. you can have all his attention to yourself for today not until he received a call.

"yoi, i received a call, i have this client who just hired me. heeseung was supposed to take the case alone but there was some problems that it needed about 2 people to take the case. unfortunately, there were no lawyers available for tomorrow so i had to take the job and help him." jungwon looked sad and so were you. you understood the situation immediately though, he's the best at his job.

the next day, you woke up first. you decided to cook breakfast for the both of you and wake up jungwon. "wonieee, wake up! you will be late for your job." you were about to leave the room but then he suddenly held you hand and pulled you onto the bed. he hugged you tightly and said "i don't want to get out of bed and leave you all alone here, i want to be with you for the whole day. wait, what about you? don't you have work as well?"

"oh uh, i took the day off today because i thought you'd also have your day off." he pouted and hugged you tightly.

"baby, please you're suffocating me. now, go and get out of bed. you'll be late."

----- time skip -----

soon, you got bored staying at your house. weirdly, your phone has been silent. it's a monday so everyone is obviously busy but your bday hasn't sent a happy bday message to you. he also didn't mention it earlier in the morning which made you think if he forgot about your bday now. you shook your head and thought it would be nice to visit him at the courtroom where his case would be held. you went in your car and went there.

when you arrived, there were only a few people there. you thought you arrived late but you asked and said that it'll start in a few minutes. shortly after, people have been entering the court room one-by-one and the judges also sat on their seats. you were looking for your boyfriend everywhere but looks like he still haven't arrived, you were about to sit but you bumped with someone.

"oh, sorry."

"wait, y/n??? baby, what are you doing here?"

"oh, hi! i was just bored at home so i decided to visit you here." you kissed him. he was about to talk but then his co-worker (atty. heeseung) said that they should go at their place now.

minutes later, the discussion started. you were sitting there not listening to what everyone's saying and you were just looking at him, adoring him. you forgot how handsome your boyfriend is. anyway, you realized that you completely forgot that it was your bday and you didn't want to celebrate it by sitting and listening to someone's case. you went to the mall to go buy some clothes and you were still hoping when will jungwon greet you a happy bday. you were already getting tired so you went straight home, you didn't even care id your bday remembers or not. you were simply tired already and wanted to sleep, and so you did.

----- time skip -----

as you were sleeping soundly, you felt a light tap on your shoulder. you opened your eyes slowly and saw your sister.

"oh gosh, you scared me. how did you get inside?"

"i have a spare key, remember?"

"oh, then what are you doing here? did something bad happened to you?"

"well...." she was looking down and she suddenly hugged you. "i'm sorry for busting out here, late at night but i really need your help." she looked at you, looking like she wanted to cry. you were alarmed at what she said so you asked "what kind of help?".

"m-my boyfriend has been abusing me and i escaped from him today. i can't do this anymore, i'm scared." hearing this made you so angry and just wanted to beat him up right there and then.

"chaewon, you should've told me sooner, i didn't even know you had a boyfriend but by any chance, did he follow you here?".

"no, he did text me though."

"i made his name in my contacts that in purpose because i was keeping our relationship a secret. i'm sorry, i should've told sooner." reading the texts made you scared as well but you were mad at him for beating your sister.

"chae, go stay here and lock the door, ill try and talk to your fucking boyfriend and beat him up if things go south, if ever that happens ill ask jungwon to be your lawyer and sue him."

"sis, wait, no. h-he doesn't know what you look like and you also don't know what he looks like either. i should come but ill just hide and call the police if something happens. i-ill text him so that he'll just come to us."

----- time skip -----

you arrived at the place. you didn't expect that the place would be a fancy restaurant, you thought that he must be rich. anyway, you found it weird that at a situation like this he would invite your sister to something this fancy. wouldn't people see if he beats up your sister or he's just that dumb, you thought.

"stay there at the bush and tell him you're here and make him go outside. i'll wait for him here"

you sat at a bench while waiting for him, there was not much people outside so it's easier to know if the person is your sister's boyfriend. you saw someone coming from the main door standing st the front, looks like he is looking for someone.

"SIS! THAT'S HIM!" your sister whispered.

if i'm going to be honest, you were actually scared for your dear life and you were unsure of what to do but as her sister you'll need to defend her and talk to her bf. you walked closer at him and said "are you my sister's boyfriend?" he looked at you with a confused look but soon realized that you came instead of your sister.

"follow me inside." and you did while your sister was still at the bush hiding.

your heartbeat went faster and you were somehow shaking. you kept holding back from punching him and stayed calm. as you walked further, the light went off. oh dear, that's when you lost it. you were so scared of what might happen to you there and scared that this might be your last day. then the lights opened again.

"HAPPY BDAY!!" you were so shocked that you fainted.

hours later, you finally woke up and you were already home. you actually thought it was just a dream but then a door opened, it was jungwon. he was so relieved seeing you finally awake.

"love, don't scare me like that. i thought we went far. i'm so sorry, i should've surprised you in a different way."

"no, don't scare me like that. i fucking thought i would die there, i can't believe these was all your plan." you put your hand to your chest and tried feeling your heartbeat. "my heart is still beating fast right now, i feel like i might've got a heart attack at that point."

jungwon suddenly ran out of the room and went back holding a cake. "you didn't get to blow the candles earlier, happy bday my love!"

"i actually thought you already forgot about my bday, thank you for remembering BUT please no more surprises like this. if you do this again next time, i think i might actually die already."

"don't say that but yes, i won't surprise you like that anymore." he laughed then suddenly stopped, as you both talked he remembers how you acted in the certain situation which made him worry and get concerned for you.

"y/n... if something like this ever happens, don't act rashly and call me immediately. love, i don't want you to get hurt..."

"okay okay, i know love. i still can't believe you asked chaewon for this evil plans of yours."

"yoi wait, did you really think i forgot your bday? were you waiting for me to greet you?" he smirked.

you looked at him shyly and guilty. "uh, noO."

"you know what? ill take my day off tomorrow and let's celebrate your day properly but first let's eat the cake!!"

so you may be confused but.....

jungwon is really not the type to forget your bday, he could never

which is why the storyline here is different

even if he did forget, he would've still remembered hours later because he always think of you<33333

welp, jungwon's might be the only one who has the shortest..... he remembered your bday so...q

if you guys want more with lawyer jungwon just hmu !!

nishimura riki, ni-ki (니키)

you were talking to your boyfriend over the phone and you were reminded that it's your bday tomorrow so you somehow waited for him to mention about it over the phone but to your surprise he didn't. ni-ki is someone who gets more excited in an event than the person who is hosting it or the person who's the event made for so it was really odd of him to not say anything about it.

the next day, you woke up with a messy hair and a drool on your mouth. you checked your clock and saw that you're about to be late for school so you hurriedly went to the bathroom and went downstairs to get your shoes.

"sweetie, you made him wait for an hour now. ALSO GO EAT."

you ran to the door and said "nah, i'm good mom. i think ni-ki's going to get me something later."

you thought that ni-ki is sitting on the bench but when you opened the door running, you accidentally bumped onto him.

"oops, sorry."

"and you're the one telling me to sleep early."

actually, your school is just near your home so everyday you and your boyfriend just go on foot. you guys were having a small talk then you realized that he hasn't greeted you a 'happy birthday' at all.

"so....."

"so...?" he raised his eyebrow at you. "so what?"

"oh, nothing. so um, have you finished your assignment?"

"since when do i even do that?" you laughed at him, knowing that he'll probably fail in your exam day which is next week.

----- time skip -----

you both arrived at the gate of your school and as you went in, you both parted ways. you two have a lot of similarities but when it comes to education, you both can't even be compared. however, you and your boyfriend are pretty popular. you're the valedictorian and he's just the hot guy everyone knew about.

as you went in your classroom, you sat and wondered what surprise is ni-ki's hiding. usually, ni-ki is bad at surprising because his acting is just terrible that it immediately gives it out but seeing him today made you think that he's finally good at this. you were thinking of him so much while looking outside the window that you didn't notice your teacher already standing behind you.

"ehem, miss y/n. is there something would you like to share with the class? i suppose not."

your seatmate, also your best friend giggled at you. "y/n, i know it's your bday but what made you think it would be a good idea to zone out when the teacher's here or.... you're thinking of that gigantic emo man again? i told you we should've became together instead lol."

"normally, i would've bickered with you for saying that but since you're the first to greet me then-" wonyoung gasped loudly while the teacher looks at the both of you but the teacher let you both go for now since you are the top of the class.

"don't tell me you both literally came here in school at the same time without him greeting you?! i knew you shouldn't have dated that man. it should've been me instead, like im even taller than him." she whispered, actually nevermind the whispered part because literally everyone heard wonyoung that time.

"wish i could say the same but anyway, im pretty sure he's going to surprise me sooner or later. you know him, he can't handle surprises and he's probably so excited right now telling his friends about it."

meanwhile ni-ki......

"hey bro, a dumbass in another class just told me i suit pink. i would literally look like shit if i do anything with pink, i just hate it."

"i think it would suit you fine, don't know." heeseung chuckled.

"shall we fight and see?"

yeah they started play fighting inside the classroom, just imagine that one time where ni-ki and heeseung was play punching each other while hee was holding a dumbbell.

back to you, you decided to visit ni-ki's classroom and maybe sneak up on him to see what is he up to. you looked through the classroom's windows and you saw that ni-ki was just playing and doing some random stuff in the classroom. finally, you thought that ni-ki forgot about your bday. it all makes sense, from him not mentioning about it and he looked like his usual self (like not being excited, etc.) to him just being normal in the classroom. you went back to your classroom and didn't pay attention much to that, hate to admit this but you were upset that your own boyfriend forgot about your bday.

----- time skip -----

the school bell finally rang for break time, everyone started to go to the cafeteria and eat. you also went with wonyoung while you guys were walking in the hallway, wony noticed that you seemed a bit down.

"hey, are you okay? you look like someone just threw up on you. okay kidding aside, are you okay?"

"yeah, i just feel tired right now thinking about studying advance for the exam next week."

"it's break time now so let's eat and stop thinking about your grades for now."

you guys were already in the line to get food and you sat down. ni-ki was waiting for you since forever and when he found you, he sat beside you in the cafeteria. wonyoung was also sitting beside you, at the left side.

"baby, i missed you." he was about to kiss you but you immediately put the spoon in your mouth since you aren't really in the mood for his lovey dovey. wonyoung side eyed you because what and ni-ki on the other side was shook.

"should i go to another table? it looks like there's something the both of you need to talk about." then she whispered to you saying "oh, i can tell he still didn't greet you huh?.." she elbowed you about two times and headed to the other tables with your classmates.

"so... jake and the others plan to go to the haunted house after school. wanna come?" you didn't respond, you were still thinking hard whether if he actually forgot about it or what. it wasn't a really big deal to you so you still somehow replied to him with a low tone "sure." ni-ki thought it was weird that you talked like that, he never even heard you that way. you both are always loud, to be honest.

----- time skip -----

classes ended and it is finally time to go home but you remembered you had plans to go to the haunted house so you looked for ni-ki, you were walking down the hallway where your boyfriend and the others at. there was a crowd, there was a lot of people but not that much. you also noticed your best friend there, you were about to call her but ni-ki noticed you walking in the hallway so he ran to you.

"hey, angel. are you ready to go to the haunted house??? don't worry i won't scare you like last time hehehehe" he laughed.

you didn't really want to ignore him but you were busy thinking if he did forgot about it or no, you were to busy thinking that you didn't hear your boyfriend that started talking to you.

"hello? babe? my girl to earth! hello! huh?" he waved his hands up and down in front of you thinking you were zoning out but no, you were still busy thinking. although, you did notice him waving had hands in front of you but you didn't care.

as you reached the crowd, they were talking about going to some restaurant after the haunted house and also heeseung will be the one to drive. wonyoung saw you and she just had to say something about "it".

"y/n, are you really sure of going to the haunted house? i don't want to see you suffer there."

"i'm fine. i forgot about what happened years ago, i mean i still remember but i don't care about it anymore."

"did you tell ni-ki about it? oh, definitely not because if you did i'm sure he wouldn't invite you to go to a haunted house."

"yeah, i think i'll just make him worry but he probably doesn't care as well. look wony, i can manage myself." you knew that was a lie, going back to the haunted house is a bad idea. a lot of tragic events has happened you in there which means if you go back it will probably trigger you trauma again. as ni-ki mentioned, you guys actually went to the haunted house one time. you didn't want to go but your boyfriend was with you so you thought your trauma won't get triggered. as you went in the haunted house, memories has been flashing in your mind. you couldn't breathe properly, ni-ki knew something was off but your acting with him was just so good even though you were shaking a bit. the memories of you getting almost killed by your aunt and uncle inside the haunted house, make you think that they're still there, in every haunted house ready to try and kill you again.

----- time skip -----

all of you finally arrived at the haunted house, everyone was getting ready to go in except you. wonyoung was looking at you the whole time, worried. while ni-ki tried to make a conversation with you in the car but you were busy thinking, not because if he forgot about your bday or not but because of the haunted house. you don't know what might happen to you this time, back then, you managed to act naturally with ni-ki but this time there's a lot of people.

"y/n, okay i'll be serious. why have you been ignoring me? did i-" before he could finish talking jake and the others were calling everyone in the car to go in the haunted house now. you just saw the building but all the memories are already flashing in to your mind. you don't even know if you can go inside because you felt dizzy and scared. you still tried to act natural because you didn't want anyone to think you're crazy at that moment. as you went in, you got dizzier and images of your past is all you can see. you were scared to death and hoping someone can just save you and go somewhere else. wonyoung looked at you with a worried look and held your hand in. "y/n, are you sure you're okay? i don't want to see you get hurt..." your boyfriend heard what she said and approached the two of you.

"why? did something bad happened?? don't ignore me, y/n, please.."

you whispered to wony "yes, i'm fine." you let go of her hand and turned your back. you were not fine. you were shaking terribly and wanted to cry at that point. everyone proceeded to explore and of course, your boyfriend went with you instead of the others, it was just the two of you. you were still shaking and you couldn't handle it anymore, so when ni-ki was busy picking up something, you decided to walk away from him and went in the nearest room. when you went in, that's when it got worsen. the room looked exactly like where you were when your uncle were hurting you. you went to one of the corners and sat, breathing rapidly and covering your ears because you were somehow hearing your aunt's voice whispering to you words. you cried and cried and couldn't handle it anymore, you didn't know what to do but luckily you went to the nearest room and ni-ki just found you in time. he didn't know what to do but he just ran over to you and tried to see what was happening. he was talking to you but you didn't answer. he was panicking so hard that he just hugged you that time, you needed it. for a few minutes, you calmed down while closing your eyes. still hugging him. ni-ki is still worried as fuck and you weren't responding to him. he held your hand and said that you both should go outside now, he didn't care if he's going to leave the others behind.

----- time skip -----

you still didn't talk but ni-ki took you at his home because you begged that you didn't want to go home and there wasn't any safer places for you to be comfortable so he took you to his home. he gave you a glass of water and hugged you again.

"i don't know why that happened but you can tell me whenever you're ready. im sorry i didn't know you were going through something but please i want to talk to you at least."

your mother called, you were supposed to not pick it up because you weren't really in the mood to talk but you still did and you put her on speaker.

"sweetie, do you ever plan to go home to celebrate your bday or are you going to celebrate it with ni-ki." and when your boyfriend heard that he stood up and was like HUH. while you were talking with your mother, he was walking back-and-forth not being able to believe himself for forgetting your bday and you were also going through something that he didn't know. you hang up on you mother and he was asking questions on where do you wanna go, you told him to the movies or in a restaurant. he literally brought a bag like he was taking care of a baby but yes it was full of things that you might need in case you went crying again.

----- time skip -----

you finally told him on what happened earlier, he was feeling sorry for you and was mad at your aunt and uncle.

"i can't believe i didn't notice that that was happening to you and i even forgot about your bday. im really the worst boyfriend ever.." he pouted and hugged you again.

"maybe but you aren't really the worst, if you were you wouldn't care about me at all." he hugged you tightly and you just found comfortable and safe around him, in fact you were luck that he was there earlier of he weren't you don't know what might've happened to you in there.

oh yeah, lol you both technically forgot about everyone. they were calling the both of you but didn't answer but seeing the car disappeared, they were pretty sure you went somewhere.

MASTERLIST | HYUNG LINE VER.

please do not copy/translate this and post as your own.

[ TAGLIST: --- ]

[atlabeth]

nightmares - mike munroe x reader

summary: It was a deal made by two almost-friends in the early hours of the morning after the worst night of their lives, when they realized that all they really had left was each other.

a/n: so this is once again. not my normal content but ive been on an until dawn kick lately and fell in love w the characters all over again. i dont know if anyone still reads or writes for this fandom but. here u go. enjoy

warning(s): lots of cursing, canon typical violence, mentions of graphic violence/death (but nothing too descriptive), mentioned depression, insomnia, and alcoholism, some heavy themes but its hurt/comfort so it ends in fluff

wc: 4.8k

You were running.

You were running, and it was freezing — fuck, it was freezing.

You knew your surroundings; how could you ever forget? Every fucking moment on the goddamn mountain was engraved into your mind for what you assumed would be the rest of your life, an assumption that had since been proven correct.

And now, against your will, you were back. Of course you were back.

A shudder ran through your whole body as that all-too-familiar screech rang out behind you, each second of it like nails on a chalkboard in the worst way. Your lungs burned like all hell but you couldn’t stop — if you stopped, you were as good as dead.

Some part of this fucked up thing was almost funny. Humans were always boasting about how they were the top of the food chain, how they were the height of evolution. There was nothing to keep an ego in check like being hunted by a supernatural creature.

Any thoughts of bullshit philosophy were dashed from your mind as you took a hard right, nearly falling over from the sharp curve of the mountain but just able to catch yourself. Your heart was thundering in your chest, the beats nearly lining up with your sprinting. You felt an intense urge to turn around, try and gauge your chances, but the thought of slowing down for even a second terrified you. It’s not like you needed to anyways — you knew exactly what was after you.

You were nearing the end of your road, both literally and figuratively. You stumbled over a tree root, your hands splayed out in front of yourself at just the right angle to keep your momentum going and, in some feat of luck, stay upright and running.

But your luck had just run out.

Your senses were proven correct as the harrowing cliff edge came into view, and a thousand things screamed in your mind at once as your demise stared you right in the eye. You barely managed to catch yourself, very much aware that the snow falling into the void could’ve just as well been you.

That fucking screech again, even closer than before, and you whipped around as you took an instinctive step back. Your hands patted around everywhere, searching for something to defend yourself, but you had nothing. No gun, knife, even the ground around you was devoid of rocks.

You had nothing. You had nothing to defend yourself from this goddamn nightmare creature, and you were going to die.

Your eyes darted around wildly in an attempt to find something, anything, to save yourself, but there was nothing. You took another step back and felt your foot slip, your breath catching as you barely managed to save yourself with a twist and a lunge away from the edge. The shock of the ground and the cold against your skin was just enough to remind yourself that you were actually alive. Another pile of snow mimicked the fate that seemed imminent as it trickled over the side of the cliff, and you screwed your eyes shut as you tried to shut your mind up.

Think, goddammit, if you wanted to get off of this fucking mountain you had to think—

The screech that pierced through the night sky was far too close for comfort, and as your head snapped back towards the woods you swore that your heart stopped beating.

It had caught up. You were out of time you were going to die but you didn’t have anything and you were going to fucking die—

A flash of white pushed off a tree and lunged towards you, teeth bared as it emitted that horrible screech. You didn’t even have time to scream, completely frozen in place as one clawed hand reached your neck, and you braced for the moment of release.

You shot up in your bed, breathing rapid and unsteady with a barely contained cry on the edge of your lips as your hand instinctively flew to your neck. You heaved an almost strangled sigh of relief to know that your head was still attached to your body (it might’ve seemed obvious, but… your head wasn’t exactly on straight at the moment, all jokes aside) and collapsed against the headboard.

You ran your hands across your face as you tried in vain to calm yourself down, ultimately having to turn on your lamp to ease your troubled mind that there was nothing going thump in the night.

It had been this same routine almost every night — horrible nightmare, wake up crying or screaming or both, and start the day at 3 am because you couldn’t fall back asleep.

It was exhausting. You were exhausted.

You knew you couldn’t go on like this, but what choice did you have? Therapy had been mandated by the police for a certain amount of time after the incident, but… it’s not like it had helped. How could it, when no one truly knew what you had gone through?

Well… that wasn’t completely accurate.

One person knew what you were going through, and you hadn’t said as much as one word to him since that night. You didn’t really… know what to say.

Hey. I know we’re not all that close, but I’m sorry your girlfriend and all your friends were killed by a Wendigo and that I made it instead. Hope you’re not going insane with grief. I’ll send you a card at Christmas!

...yeah. You had no idea what to say to him after months of no contact.

The relationship you had with Mike Munroe was a strange one, to say the least.

None of you were the same after that night on the mountain. The horrors of the mines would be forever entrenched in your head, flashes of the Wendigos appearing every time you closed your eyes. You and Mike were the only ones who made it off, and the guilt you carried everywhere was a burden you knew you couldn’t shoulder. And even after the physical scars had faded, you knew the mental ones never would.

Sometimes you wondered how you had even managed to get involved with the group in the first place — bonds that had been made in your freshman and sophomore years had somehow managed to stay strong enough throughout the rest of high school, strong enough to cement your spot in the friend group and the yearly lodge visits. You liked them all well enough, enough to go up to an isolated mountain with them for a weekend or so, but… yeah. Sometimes you did wonder what the hell you were doing with them.

But now?

Now, you would give almost anything to hear Sam’s laugh or one of her compliments, or tease Ashley and Chris about their very obvious feelings; hell, you found yourself missing Matt’s useless football facts. And even though Emily and Jessica weren’t always the nicest, you still had managed to worm your way into their hearts. Knowing that you would never get Emily’s brutal but helpful advice or get dragged to a football game by Jessica again?

If someone had told you the difference between life-long trauma and a completely normal existence was that blonde girl with the braids in your biology class, you might’ve thought a little harder before accepting that party invite.

The days after you were rescued from the mountain passed in a daze, questions and interrogations from police never sticking for too long. And it didn’t even feel like it mattered, the way none of them seemed to believe you.

They kept you separated from Mike throughout the whole process, and you were only able to catch glances of him when you were being transferred to different rooms throughout the long process. It really was like something out of a horror movie — a group of teens go up to a lodge in the woods, and only two return with a story of unspeakable horrors — and rather than try and work out what had happened, they seemed intent on pinning the deaths on you and Mike.

As if you weren’t dealing with enough after watching your friends get murdered by the monster of another friend, the people that were supposed to be helping you were instead trying to charge you with them. If it wasn’t so fucking infuriating, it would’ve been laughable.

The worst part? You could hardly blame them.

When you took a second to listen to yourself, to what you were spouting to the police, you sounded insane. If you hadn’t witnessed it all first hand, you wouldn’t have believed yourself.

You told them to go down to the mines. That the thing that killed your friends would be down there, and they could see it for themselves.

You didn’t know if that was the right choice. Hell, you might’ve been sending those cops to their deaths. But it was the only way you could think of to get them to believe you.

(You doubted they would go down there anyways. What was the word of two crazy college kids over actual logic? Not much, you imagined.)

You were in that damn interrogation room for what felt like forever until you were finally taken to a hospital to get your wounds treated. But even in the hospital bed, police were by your side asking about what happened every day of your stay. After your discharge, you were forced into custody until they got information that they deemed satisfactory.

By some miracle, you and Mike weren’t charged with anything. The news might’ve gotten hold of your story, but you didn’t know. You didn’t want to know. You didn’t ever look at the news after the tragedy, too afraid that you would see the smiling faces of your friends staring back at you, or pictures of you and Mike with news anchors trying to talk about how involved the two of you were.

If there was one thing worse than going through hell, it was other people trying to make a profit off of your spiral.

Your friends’ families offered their condolences, but not much else. You didn’t hold it against them. Your survivor’s guilt was strong enough to know exactly why they didn’t reach out further.

(You blame yourself for their deaths, after all. Why wouldn’t they?)

It was the same situation with Mike.

Maybe you had purposefully drifted apart from him, trying to build up walls of your own so that he wouldn’t be able to spring it on you first. You assumed he hated you after what had happened, and he had every right to. You might’ve helped each other through the night, but you had no other option. Now, everyone else but you was dead — people he cared about more than you — and you just couldn’t face that.

But as you stared at yourself in your bathroom mirror, you realized that you might have to.

You looked awful.

Weeks of sleepless nights were catching up to you, appearing in the form of

hollow eyes and dark circles, along with a slight discoloration of your skin. The scars from the mountain had mostly healed, but there was a particularly nasty gash on your cheek that was still showing — it wasn’t doing you any favors in the ‘looking completely normal and sane and not severely sleep deprived’ department.

You splashed some water in your face to try and wake up a bit, but the slight drowsiness that followed you everywhere seemed to be a permanent part of you now.

(It was almost funny, in a way. You were so paranoid and alert all the time, unable to fall asleep, and yet it was all you could think about in moments like these. You wondered when irony had become such a staple in your life.)

You had tried talking to therapists, your friends, your family, even searching the internet for advice on what to do after a life changing traumatic event. Nothing had worked.

The simplest solution had come to mind more than once, but you had pushed it aside with the determination to work through this on your own. But now, staring at yourself and seeing how much you had deteriorated…

You had to go talk to the only person who would understand.

~

You had considered turning around more than once on the drive over.

Because, really, what the hell were you doing? Showing up at his doorstep in the middle of o dark thirty because— because what?

Because you had a nightmare?

He had gone through the same thing you had, probably even worse. Losing Jessica right in front of him, having to cut off his fingers to get free, spending countless hours alone, dealing with the nightmare that was the sanatorium, and then…

Well, you had been in the mines with him and Josh when it happened. There was no doubt in your mind that the scene replayed in his head endlessly, just like it did for you.

Showing up… it was going to be a mistake. You knew it was.

For all you knew, Mike had moved on already. He was stronger than you, he always had been. Maybe your presence would send him spiraling once more, or maybe it would just earn you a verbal beating like no other. Mike had always been nice enough, but the trauma you had endured was enough to turn a saint into his own worst enemy.

You didn’t know what would happen. You didn’t know anything, and as you turned down his street you regretted more than ever not keeping in touch with him. Maybe then you wouldn’t be in this situation, scrambling after your last hope for salvation after slowly killing yourself over the past few months.

But there was no chance to turn back now, because before you knew it your knuckles were rapping against his front door.

The pause between your arrival and a response was so long that you considered leaving and pretending like this never happened, but just as you began to step back the door swung open.

You didn’t really know what you were expecting, but… he was there. The only other testament to the horrors of Blackwood Pines, and maybe the only person that could help you through this.

“...hi,” you murmured, swallowing the sudden lump in your throat as you looked the personification of your shame in the eye.

Mike blinked a few times, whether to try and wake up a little or out of surprise from his visitor you didn’t know, but it was a few seconds before he responded in kind. “...hey. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you around.”

You chuckled dryly as you nodded. “Yeah. Sorry for the sudden arrival. I’m, uh… I’m kind of surprised you even opened the door.”

He huffed out a short breath in a facsimile of a laugh. “Not getting much sleep these days.”

“That’s something we’ve got in common.” You crossed your arms across your chest and let out a loose sigh, eyes wandering around in an attempt to think of what to say next. It should’ve been so easy, but… but for some reason, it just wasn’t.

“Guess so.” That awkward silence stretched out once more, neither of you knowing how to fill it. Thankfully, Mike continued to take the plunge, but it wasn’t without a slight barb. “What are you doing here?”

“I—” you stopped just as you had begun, because you really didn’t know. You had come here for help, but could Mike really do that for you? He was the same as you — a fucked up teenager trying to deal with something so far beyond him.

“I don’t know,” you admitted as you made eye contact once more. “I… I really don’t know. I’m out of options, and… I can’t keep going like this. So I came here to talk, or— or to try and get some help. I don’t know.”

That same silence filled the air once more, the night ambiance the only thing in between the two of you. You missed when that silence used to be comfortable, but… you could only blame yourself for it.

“So— so, what?” he asked, the beginnings of a frown starting to crease his brows. “You just— we go through all that together up there, and then when we get back down you don’t say a word for months. And now— now, out of nowhere, in the middle of the night, you just show up and ask for help?”

“God,” you muttered. When he put it that way, it was true. It was ridiculous, to expect his help after the way you had just left him to deal with it all on his own for a reason borne of your own insecurity. “You’re right. This was— this was stupid. I’m sorry.”

You had already turned to go when you felt a calloused hand on your shoulder, causing you to stop in your tracks.

“No.” His voice was surprisingly soft as he sighed, stepping back with a shake of his head to make room in the doorway. “No, I—” Mike paused for a moment, as if he couldn’t find the right words to say. “I’m sorry. You can come in. Obviously, you can come in.”

Your eyes widened slightly as you tried to hide your shock at the gesture, but you weren’t about to turn it down. You nodded, and he stepped aside to make space for you to walk in. When you did, you were met with a mess not unlike the one back at your apartment, save for the beer bottles. Clothes were strewn about haphazardly on every surface, so you took a seat on a clean spot on the floor, leaning back against a chair and pulling your knees up to your chest. You actually preferred it this way — it was grounding, in a literal sense. Mike pushed aside a laundry basket and did the same, but pulled one leg up and let the other lay extended.

“Why?” he asked suddenly, breaking the silence that had been accumulating once more. “Why did you just…” he gestured around with his hands to try and get his point across but ultimately settled with a sigh. “You didn’t say anything. You didn’t try to text, or call, or write, or— or anything. Hell, I would’ve probably jumped to get a messenger pigeon from you. But it was just… radio silence.”

You picked at the dry skin on your thumbs as you tried to come up with an answer. “I… I don’t know,” you repeated. “It was stupid, and it was horrible of me to leave you alone. I mean… I don’t know why I did it. I know what I’ve been going through, and I know you’ve been going through the same. So I don’t know why I didn’t try to reach out and see how you were doing.”

He chuckled mirthlessly as his eyes swept over the empty bottles that had accumulated on the coffee table. “I’m not the best with alone.”

“I know,” you said quietly. “I thought…” you shook your head as you looked at the ceiling. “I thought that you hated me. I know that you cared about them all more, you were closer to all of them, and… and I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. That I would just always be a reminder of what you lost. And… and, I don’t know. Maybe it was my way of trying to move on. Was a stupid fucking idea, though.”

That got a genuine laugh out of him as he ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I get that. I dunno why I didn’t try to talk to you either. Maybe since you didn’t say anything, I didn’t want to either. This whole thing fucked me up.” His gaze moved to you. “Fucked us both up.”

“You can say that again,” you muttered as you tapped your fingers on your knees. “I can’t look anywhere without seeing them. I mean, I see that fucking…” you grimaced. “I see Josh, and I see what that thing did to him, and I just— I’m right back to step one.”

He swallowed hard and nodded. “...yeah. That was seven layers of fucked up.”

“You can’t just keep saying everything was fucked up,” you said dryly. “It was shitty, too.”

Mike snorted, some kind of slightly masochistic humor going on between the two of you. “Nothing really gets the point across like fucked up.”

“Guess you’re right,” you finally conceded with a small smile. “This is… this is nice. I’d almost forgotten what it was like to… I don’t know, to talk to someone like this.”

“It is,” he murmured.

Another pregnant pause hung in the air, but the silence wasn’t as uncomfortable now. Trickles of what it used to be like, of your old life, were beginning to poke through.

“I never hated you,” he said suddenly. Your eyes flicked up to meet his, and it was like his brown eyes were piercing through you as he continued. “I never did. After it happened… yeah, I was mad. I was fucking pissed, but it was never at you. You were my friend too, y’know? Even though we weren’t that close, we were still… we were still something. And I’m glad you made it. I just wish you hadn’t convinced yourself that you had to go through this alone. Maybe things would’ve turned out different, these past few months. For both of us.”

You nodded, choosing to avert eye contact first because you almost couldn’t handle the sincerity. Your heart sank a bit at the sight of all the beer bottles, and you knew that he was right. Maybe things would’ve been different if the two of you had weathered it together from the start. And so you said that.

“I still can’t help but feel like I’m to blame for—” you gestured around at the mess with a sigh, “for this.”

“Look.” His voice was raspy as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair, and as he met your eyes once more you were able to see how truly exhausted he was. With dark circles that matched your own, scars that were still healing, and a certain hollowness behind his eyes… It was like looking in a mirror. And it made you realize how fucked up the two of you had really become.

Mike had always been good at holding himself together, putting up his signature egotistical-douchebag-jock act in the face of anything that threatened to tear him down, and more often than not he came out victorious. But not even class presidents were immune to the horrors that they had faced, and it was taking more of a toll on him than you had realized.

“It’s not your fault. You— you did everything you could; I know I’m still alive because of you. Besides, we were idiot teenagers — we still are — and none of them deserved to die because of it. Not Hannah, not Beth, not any of them.” Mike shook his head and sighed. “Not even Josh. Man was fucked up even before all of this, but he didn’t deserve what happened to him. He needed help, but instead he got his fucking… god. I can’t even say it. But he didn’t deserve it.”

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, the subconscious process having stopped because of the weight of his words. It was cliche, but you didn’t know how much you needed to hear those four words: it’s not your fault.

“Maybe you should be my therapist,” you joked weakly. But as you let your eyes trail back to Mike you bit your lip. He hadn’t included himself in that statement, and it wasn’t too hard to figure out why.

“Mike… it wasn’t your fault either. You’re not just saying bullshit to try and make yourself feel better, it really wasn’t your fault. What do they say? ‘Getting through your guilt is the first step to recovery’ or some shit? You deserve to be here just as much as I do.”

“But it was,” he insisted. “It’s easy for you to say that. You tried to stop it, I… I just went along with it. Fuck, I started it all. Hannah and Beth went missing because of me, Josh went out of his fuckin’ mind, and if he hadn’t brought us all back up there for his revenge plot then they wouldn’t have died. How is it not my fault? Why do I get to live when all of them died because of me?”

“Mike,” you sighed. “I… I don’t know. I don’t know why we made it back when none of them did, but it’s not your fucking fault, okay? You— yeah, that prank was fucking stupid, but— but how could you know what was going to happen?” You huffed a laugh that was only slightly unhinged. “People pull pranks all the time. Native American legend cannibal spirit things don’t try to kill people all the time. You can’t keep blaming yourself. It’s not going to help them, and it’s not going to help you.”

That silence stretched out once more as he took in your words. You didn’t know if he believed them or not, but you did. That had to be worth something, right?

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” he muttered, breaking the silence once more. “And I… I don’t know. I don’t know why it took almost fucking dying from those goddamn things, a— and seeing what happened to all of them...”

“I don’t know,” he repeated, leaning back against the foot of the sofa. “All the shit that happened, all of them dying — I don’t know how long it’ll take until we’re okay again. Hell, I don’t even know if we ever will be okay again. What happened up there was fucked up in the worst way, and the fact that no one believes us makes it a hell of a lot worse.”

You chuckled darkly as you cupped one hand in the other. “You can say that again.”

His lips twitched for a moment as if he wanted to smile but ultimately thought better of it. “I know we aren’t that close anymore, but the truth is we’re the only ones on this fuckin’ planet that know what really happened up there. We’re the only ones that will ever really understand what happened to us, and… and I think we’re the only ones that can really help each other through this shit.”

He met your eyes once more, something resolute in them. “So the next time this happens, because it will, if you don’t want to be alone… you can come here. Any time, any day, no questions asked. Just knock on that door, and I will be there. No more isolation, no more trying to get through this on our own. We gotta be there for each other, because we’re all we have.”

You nodded gratefully, a feeling of warmth slowly creeping through your body with his reassurance. “Thank you, Mike. You… you have no idea what this means to me.”

“I think I have some clue,” he murmured.

As you exchanged weary smiles, you saw a faint twinkle in Mike’s eyes. He was always the kind of person to help others, even if it was for the wrong reasons, and that was one thing that stuck with him after the disaster. And in that moment, a long lost feeling washed over you — safety.

You hadn’t felt safe in… well, it seemed like forever. Adrenaline and pure instinct were responsible for getting you through those twelve hours, along with an overwhelming wave of numbness and denial. But once all of that wore off, the nightmares had begun. Your friends, the Wendigos, the mountain itself — anything and everything that your mind could use against you, it did.

It was a living hell. You could hardly ever sleep anymore, horrific images always jolting you awake after an hour or two and keeping you awake for the rest of the day. It was no wonder Mike had ended up with a drinking problem — it was probably the only way he could sleep, the only way he could bring some form of peace to his mind. By some miracle, you had avoided that fate, but… you would be lying if you said you hadn’t come close.

But somehow, for some reason, you could tell that things were going to be different. Now that you and Mike weren’t avoiding each other anymore in the name of painful memories… you felt like things were going to be okay. Or as close to okay as you could get these days.

You weren’t alone, and neither was he.

He had saved your life on the mountain more than once. Now, he was saving you again. Just in a different way.

-

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

ud tags: @kwyloz

[artificialqueens]

By Your Side (Biadore) - Candy Cane

A/N: just a oneshot based off of a prompt sent in that asked for bianca finding out abt adore’s onlyfans! its not quite that tbh but the words take me where they want to go lol please enjoy!! <3 theres some other things ive been trying to work on but its slow going rn as my cat is very sick and a lot of my time and energy has been dedicated to him, but i hope to get more out soon!

It’s only been a few months into quarantine when Adore finds herself on the phone with one of her oldest friends. Like, old physically not old as in how long they’ve known each other. But to be fair, there aren’t a ton of people she’s been friends with longer than she’s been friends with Bianca. Courtney and Darienne too for that matter.

She loves Bianca. Their friendship is something precious to her, and surprisingly this is only the second phone call they’ve had since quarantine has started. They talk basically every day through texts, and that’s on top of the hours they spend going back and forth in the ABCD group chat with Courtney and Darienne. The four of them have something special, all of them realize that. There’s just something specifically between her and Bianca that Adore’s never really been able to place her finger on.

Out of the blue this morning Bianca simply… called her. Adore spends a full moment staring at the CallerID trying to figure out where the fuck this is coming from. With an uncertain frown, she answers the phone, hanging upside down off the side of her bed of course.

“So… OnlyFans? Seriously?” Bianca asks incredulously, her voice crackling over the phone speaker.

What a way to start a conversation after not hearing each other’s voices for like a month! Even though Adore can’t see her face, she can practically hear the raised eyebrow.

“Fuck you,” Adore laughs, unable to help smiling at Bianca’s playful accusations.

“Not that I’m mad, but why fucking OnlyFans? Aren’t bitches doing podcasts now?”

“I’m bored, okay? There’s not a lot to do but drink and masturbate, and drinking hasn’t really been doing it for me lately. Plus, I gotta make money somehow,” Adore grumbles through an explanation, lifting herself up and sprawling out on her bed awkwardly.

“Do I need to set up an intervention? You know I will,” Bianca says with faux seriousness, “Seriously though, if you need some help…”

Adore frowns down at her phone. She hates pity, she hates unnecessary worry, and she definitely hates burdening people with her bullshit.

“B, I’m fine, I promise,” she says earnestly, “I guess I just… I miss you. A lot. And we can’t see each other right now and it fucking sucks and I’m really lonely-”

“Come over.”

“What? I can’t, B, we’re quarantined…”

“When’s the last time you left your apartment?”

“Uhh, I dunno, maybe a month ago?’ Adore answers, unsure of where Bianca is going with this.

“Okay, that’s well over two weeks. Come hang out with me for a few days, get some human interaction, I’ve been needing it myself. I haven’t gone out or seen anyone for a few weeks now,” Bianca admits, and Adore feels suddenly giddy.

It’s been so long since she’s seen someone, since she’s even gotten a hug, and she really wants to see Bianca…

“I’ll be there tomorrow morning,” Adore agrees, not even thinking twice about it.

Bianca is everything to her. This person was one of the first to really take her seriously, to really see something in her, and Adore doesn’t know where she’d be without her. Every time something goes wrong, her first instinct is to call Bianca. Everytime something amazing happens, her first instinct is to call Bianca. They’ll spend hours talking or texting just because and Adore wouldn’t have it any other way.

They are as good together as PB&J, or peanut butter and celery, or peanut butter and pretzels… And Adore realizes she is feeling very snacky, specifically for peanut butter. With a sigh she rolls off her bed to get a snack before she starts packing for the next week.

The point is Adore loves Bianca, and Danny loves Roy. Sure maybe it’s in a different way than they should, or even once did, but it can’t be helped. It can be hidden, though. And Danny is more than fine with hiding this secret, as long as they get to have Roy in their life at all. He’s more than what Danny should ever even hope for, and yet a part of them can’t help but hope.

After spending so much time apart, Danny knows it’ll be harder now than ever to hide these feelings they’ve been harboring for Roy. They’ll try though, because sometimes the thought of this man loving them back is all that keeps them going.

Danny arrives at Roy’s beautiful new house in Palm Springs at nearly noon the next day. Which, to be fair, is very much the morning for Danny. They even woke up early to make the trip! …If ten a.m. counts as early in any book except their own.

Roy is already standing out in the driveway waiting for Danny when they get there, his arms spread wide for a hug the second Danny gets out of their car. The younger practically rocket launches themself into his arms, clinging tight to him as they savor the first hug they’ve gotten in such a long fucking time. Danny can’t help the tears that fall at finally having such warm, loving human contact, especially from this person.

They hold onto each other as tight as they can, each beyond glad to have each other’s trust in such unreliable times. Being alone for so long had hit Roy hard too. Alcohol and binge watching can really only do so much, and he’s genuinely been feeling lonely being stuck in one spot for so long. The dogs help some, but at the end of the day it really doesn’t replace human interaction, no matter how hard he wishes it did.

“I missed you, baby girl,” Roy says, and Danny can almost hear his voice waver.

“I missed you too,” Danny whispers, trying and failing to hold back a sob.

They leave Danny’s bag in the car for now, much more eager to go sit down and enjoy each other’s company. The dogs bombard the two of them the second Danny crosses the threshold, the enby leaning instantly down to kiss and coo at the babies and Roy can’t help grinning widely at the sight. He loves his babies, and he loves his baby girl.

They spend the afternoon talking and laughing and playing with the dogs. Danny clearly gets some ideas about the golf cart, and Roy is suddenly excited about the upcoming few days. It’s been a while since either of them have really had something to look forward to.

“Alright, I still need you to explain this OnlyFans thing to me,” Roy says with a smirk a few hours later, after they’ve gotten properly settled in on the couch together with the dogs.

Danny’s eyes go wide with slight panic, “Okay, grandpa, it’s like uhhh, Patreon but-”

“No, no, no!” Roy laughs, “I know what it is, I mean why that? Why not literally anything else?”

“First of all, I am sexy. Second of all, I spent a lot of time not making money masturbating, which is a fucking shame because as I said before I am sexy.”

They both crack up at that, giggling like idiots on Roy’s couch, the puppies quickly joining in, yipping at them to be a part of the excitement.

“Awww, do you two think I’m funny?” Danny coos, picking Dede up and cuddling the pup close, “Your daddy doesn’t think I’m funny!”

Roy snorts, “You’ve certainly picked up a thing or two from me.”

“Like how to be a bitter old hermit!” Danny grins sweetly.

“Exactly,” Roy laughs.

“So if I ask really nicely will this bitter old hermit make me food?” Danny asks, batting their eyelashes pleadingly.

“My original plan was to let you starve to death while you were here, but since you’re asking nicely…” Roy says teasingly, feeling an odd sense of satisfaction at the way the younger throws their head back with laughter.

Late that night, after a long night of talking and watching TV and a decent dinner, they curl up into bed together. At one point they both needed to at least be tipsy to do that, but nowadays that’s just overkill. They have progressed well beyond that point of friendship, though Roy sometimes still likes to put on a show of being annoyed, if only because of the way Danny pouts and rolls their eyes.

Tonight he just holds the thick comforter up so Danny can slide in easily with him, he’s not really interested in making either of them wait longer than they already have for cuddles. In seconds the two are holding each other tight, savoring the touch. As Roy lays there, holding Danny like the younger is his lifeline, he starts to think about the time they’ve known each other. All the ups, downs, and side-to-sides… Danny has grown up a lot over the years they’ve been friends, and it’s hard to deny that it’s changed Roy’s feelings for them.

Once his feelings to the younger were almost motherly, but now it’s closer to attraction. It’s kind of weird, at the least it’s very fucked up. Roy wants to just give in to the feelings, but he can’t. Not when he has no way of gaging Danny’s feelings for him. He can live with this secret, he’s not sure he can live without Danny’s friendship.

Danny interrupts his thoughts, their voice small and curious, “Why were you so invested in my OnlyFans?”

“Bitch, I’m trying to sleep here,” Roy groans.

“No, seriously,” Danny pouts, sitting up in bed and looking down at Roy. The moonlight streaming in from the window highlights the enby perfectly, and Roy curses his luck.

“I don’t want you renting yourself out on the corner like Bunny, now get back to sleep you dumb slut,” Roy says with all of his usual teasing heat.

Danny pouts though, clearly not satisfied, “But…”

“Sleep. Now.” Roy demands, reaching up to tug them back under the covers. Danny reluctantly gives in, and snuggles close to Roy.

Just as Roy is about to fall asleep, Danny’s voice has his eyes flying open.

“Roy?”

“What?”

“I love you,” Danny whispers.

Roy’s heart melts a little at that, “I love you too, Danny.”

Danny bites their lip nervously, “I mean like… I think…”

Roy’s heart starts to beat faster in his chest. Surely they couldn’t mean…

“You think…?” Roy asks, hoping that despite it all this person is about to say what he thinks they are.

“I think I might be… in love,” Danny says, their voice quiet and timid in a way Roy hasn’t heard in a very long time, “With you.”

This time Roy is the one to sit up in bed, staring down at Danny with pure infatuation. Those words echo around his ears, his chest, his very soul, and before he even realizes what he’s doing he’s leaning down to capture Danny’s lips in a kiss.

His lips against theirs feels so undeniably right. Their lips move slowly against each other, Danny brings a hand around to cup the back of Roy’s neck and in that moment nothing is wrong in their own little world. In that moment it’s just them and the moonlight. He thinks that he could live forever in this moment and never need anything else.

They break apart much too soon for either of their tastes, and Roy stares into those pretty eyes and murmurs, “I think I love you too.”

Danny surges forward for another kiss, this one much more desperate than the last. It’s a hot, heavy kiss that ends with Roy flat against the bed and both of Danny’s hands cupping his face as they explore each other. It’s like no kiss either of them have had before, with so many years of emotion and uncertainty between them it’s intense. Bianca and Adore have drunkenly kissed before, but this absolutely cannot compare. Danny whimpers pathetically against Roy, their hips grinding down against Roy’s thigh.

Roy lets out a shaky breath and grips at the enby’s barely covered ass. From the way Danny is squirming and moaning after only a little contact, Roy knows it’s been a while since Danny has been with someone like this. Roy hasn’t been able to get laid in a while either, rendering them both more than eager for this. Neither of them have a sexual partner in their circles right now, except maybe each other. Just this morning that would’ve been an absurd thought, and now it’s simply what makes sense.

Both of them need sexual fulfillment as much as they need emotional fulfillment, and even the thought of providing it for each other is thrilling. Roy grabs Danny’s bottom lip roughly between his teeth, sucking on it as he rubs his hands underneath Danny’s oversized tank top and over their skin. Danny whines and whimpers so deliciously in response, and Roy loves it.

Roy and Danny pull the little clothing that is off one another, each soaking in the familiar sight of the other being completely exposed. It’s nowhere near the first time they’ve seen each other like this, but it’s another one of those things where it’s simply different this time around. Because now it’s been established they love each other as much more than just friends.

Danny sucks hickeys along Roy’s collarbone, moaning roughly as Roy twists their nipples harshly, their bodies so close and warm wrapped up tight together.

“Think… Think I’m gonna get my nipples pierced,” Danny giggles breathlessly before it’s cut off in a moan of sheer pleasure when Roy pinches them even harder.

“Oh really? You’ve done a lot of slutty things, baby girl, but that is definitely up there,” Roy smirks.

Danny smiles innocently, “It would only make your job easier.”

“What? This job?” Roy asks teasingly, then trails his fingers down Danny’s stomach so they ghost over the enby’s half-hard cock.

Danny gasps, and Roy takes the opportunity to press his lips against theirs all over again, sucking their tongue into his mouth as he teases their cock. They moan and whine and squirm, their fingers gripping and squeezing at the flesh of Roy’s back frantically in response. Roy knows that that’s going to leave a mark, despite the fact that their nails are usually kept short. He doesn’t mind though, in fact it makes him harder knowing that he’s the reason Danny is reacting like this.

Danny’s head falls back against the pillow, feeling heat rush to their cheeks upon seeing the smouldering look in Roy’s eyes as they stare up at him. He’s so fucking gorgeous, all his sharpness and softness in just the right places.

“Tell me what you want,” Roy whispers roughly.

Danny inhales shakily, “Want- Wanna feel you-”

“What do you want me to do to you, Danny? Use your words…”

“Fuck me, oh God please just fuck me, holy shit,” Danny begs, squeezing their eyes shut tight and squirming underneath Roy’s tight hold.

“Shh, that’s so good, thank you,” Roy murmurs, caressing Danny’s cheek, “I’m going to fuck you so hard.”

And Danny just moans. They’ve wanted this from Roy for so long, and so many years were wasted convincing themself otherwise that this really feels like a fucking dream come true. It’s their own little fairytale, just for the two of them. Danny gets to live this fantasy with Roy, and that thought alone is almost more mind blowing than the idea of getting rammed until they can’t remember their own name.

Roy leans across to riffle through the nightstand, and turns back to Danny with lube, a condom, and a devious grin on his face. Minutes later, Danny is a whimpering, begging mess just from two of Roy’s fingers stretching them open. Roy is clearly enjoying it, whispering dirty things in their ear as he slowly tortures them with his fingers. When he slides in a third finger, Danny lets out the filthiest, most inhuman sound Roy has ever heard.

“You are just so fucking needy,” Roy says lowly, pulling out his fingers and quickly rolling the condom on.

Danny nods feverently, their eager words of agreement being almost incomprehensible. Roy grabs their tiny hips in his large hands and slides himself in. That moment is almost pure magic, the connection that had been simmering for so many years finally coming to a boil. Danny sobs from the mix of emotion and sheer pleasure, throwing their head back and forth, panting and begging for more while Roy closes his eyes and takes it all in.

Danny is incredibly warm and tight around him, and after a minute he begins to thrust shallowly, making Danny’s mindless babbling slur together. His thrusts quickly become harsher, aiming specifically for Danny’s spot, his grip on them tightens and he grabs the enby’s cock and starts to lavish it with some much needed attention.

“OhGodohGodohGodoh-” Danny rambles, pressing their face into the juncture of Roy’s neck and collarbone, inhaling his comforting, familiar scent, “So good, feels so good, don’t stop please don’t stop.”

“I’m not going to stop, shh, I’ve got you, fuck you’re so good,” Roy groans in response, his thrusts speeding up and his fingers around Danny’s cock tightening, “Are you about to cum for me? Huh?”

“Yes, fuck,” Danny rasps, “Yes yes gonna cum Roy please let me cum I’m gonna- gonna-”

Roy pumps his hand a few more times and whispers right in Danny’s ear, “Cum for me like a good girl.”

And Danny is a gonner. They moan high and long, their hips twitch rapidly and their whole body shakes with the force of their orgasm, ropes of cum covering Roy’s hand and both of their abdomens.

Danny practically goes limp in Roy’s hold, and just a few thrusts later Roy is undone as well, unable to help thrusting even harder and deeper into Danny’s body as he does. He falls on top of Danny, breathing heavy and ragged, and they hold each other tight. Danny’s arms still wrapped around Roy’s back when he carefully rolls them onto their sides so that they’re facing each other, nearly nose to nose. He gingerly pulls out of Danny, ties the condom, and throws it into the bin that he knows is next to the bed.

Roy cups their chin with his clean hand and stares into their dazed, half-lidded eyes. Danny blinks slowly, the afterglow beginning to wear off.

“I can’t believe it took us seven years,” Danny murmurs, reaching up to thread their fingers through Roy’s currently long hair.

“It was worth the wait,” Roy smiles softly, “And now we have the rest of our lives.”

“Yeah,” Danny whispers, “I get the rest of my life with you.”

Because for Roy and Danny it’s nowhere near over. For them it’s all only just begun.

[fangirl-everythang]

Happy Father's Day Part 3

Summary: 3/3 Well, its the last part.

Warning: Sad, Mentions Death.

Word Count: 2269

"Harry? " I answer the phone.

"It's not Harry but glad you know your numbers." that high pitch annoying ass voice squeals. Rubbing my stomach, the baby's in go position and any day now my oven will be done baking. And of course, this bitch is answering his phone.

"Well bye-bye just thought you should know where he was at. " In the background, I hear Harry's voice going on about something so it must be true. Hanging up I sigh letting the hot tears roll down my cheeks. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I blame myself really, I let him back into my life and this doesn't surprise me. I gotta pee.

Waddling over to the bathroom door a gasp leaves my mouth feeling the surge of liquids fall between my legs. Holy shit. My water broke! Fuck gotta go. Thankful my bag was already in the car. Harry had insisted once I hit the 36-week mark claiming Styles's are either early or fashionably late.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. My knuckles turning white as I grasp the wheel. Nope, I'm not pushing anything out of my vagina. Can't do it. I refuse.

The contraction going away after a few brief moments of completely unreasonable pain. Dialing the numbers, I know by second nature, thankfully she picks up on the fourth ring.

"I don't think you should drive y/n"

" Just call 911. I'm almost there! " Gemma ecstatically shouts. She's just like her brother, "Where's Harrold? "

I put the seatbelt on and wince. It's just 28 minutes I can do this. "He's with his whore."

I can hear an audible gasp, "he wouldn't he's so excited for Athena"

"Well I just called him and she answered. " I grunt keeping my eyes on the two lanes ahead of me. Fuck I hate merging lanes people don't know how to drive.

"I'll be at the hospital as soon as possible but my phones gonna-" the line went dead. She did say she was on like 10% oh well.

I can do this just focus y/n. "Hear that baby girl we're almost there, hang on okay Hunny. " I say as a reminder to myself that soon I'll be leaving with another human with me.

6 miles to go that's what I'm talking about, another sharp pain spreads throughout my abdomen while waiting for the light to turn green. "OH COME ON. FOR FUCKS SAKE!" they're getting closer by the minute. Shit. Arriving at a four-way intersection. I'm relieved to be at a red light, the contractions are longer and much more frequent. "Almost there Athena, this is the last light and a straight shot from there."

Abruptly my car is jerked forward with a sharp impact pushing to the oncoming lights. All I see are lights from both directions colliding with my 3,000-pound piece of metal. Sounds of shattering glass and sirens are the last thing I hear before it all fades to black.

||||||||||||||||

Harry's POV

"Has anyone seen Mr. Style's phone?" The helpful aid asked around the dressing room. I could've sworn I put it down for a moment. Y/n could go into labor any minute now and how I am supposed to know. Fuck. I'm stupid.

I was supposed to be here to perform and list nominees and then go back home to y/n. I can't wait to propose to her, she's all I could ever want and she's giving me the most wonderful gift I could ever ask for. Running a hand through my damp hair, the lights really build a sweat, I hear a familiar voice. "Looking for this lover? " she asks slipping my phone into my pocket.

"Good luck at home. " she smiles and winks. Before I could question it she walks away.

Looking down at the device my heart skips a beat, I have 146 missed calls. And I've been gone for 5 hours. Seeing Gemma's name on the screen again I swipe to answer.

"Hell-"

"Harry," she says sniffling.

"Gemma what's wrong? did I miss it? Oh my god I hope not"

"I think it would be best if you came now Harry." she breaks her voice cracking.

"Gem what?"

"Listen Harry, she needs you right now so please." she cries. Not needing another word, I tell Jackson the address and that I need to be there as fast as possible, 45 minutes later we're pulling into the Labor and Delivery section of the hospital.

"Congrats Harry!" Jackson says letting me out at the door. "Thank you!" I beam back at him.

Seeing Gemma, her eyes are puffy with tears still flowing. "Gem what's wro-," a sharp pain to my right cheek stings. Never has Gemma hit me like that, well not since I cut her prom dress. "How could you Harry? Cheat on her again WITH TAYLOR for Christ sakes!" She yells.

"I didn't cheat," I explain to my sister as calm as I can.

She looks at me with wild eyes pulling me into a hallway with fewer people, "Then what happened Harrold?" I clench my jaw instead of speaking, how dare she accuse me of cheating on my pregnant soon-to-be fiancé. Y/n Styles has a great catch don't you think?

"Is she here yet? Gem where are they?" I ask ready to see my new family.

She begins crying again "Harry there was an accident." Those five words make my breathing come to a halt. My heart shatters in a million pieces "Is Y/n okay? What happened?" She begins walking me to a door. "This one," she points. Looking through the glass I see y/n with bruises and cuts to her beautiful face, her stomach nearly deflated from when I last saw her this morning, a cast on a swollen leg of hers, and a sling holding a very damaged arm. Tears brim at my eyes looking at my love on that hospital bed. "She's awake." Gemma walks past me running to the outside.

I gently knock on the door, waiting for a response which I don't get. "Y/n?" I approach her almost as If I were going to help an injured puppy. "Hey love" I smile at her which she glares at me and then turns wincing in pain. "You wanted this didn't you Harry?" I look at her confused. "This is probably great for you, a way out. Well leave." She states using whatever energy she can find.

"Baby I didn't want- I want you and Athena" She breaks down in uncontrollable tears.

"You were with that her and couldn't even bother to pick up your phone!" she screams. "Y/n I wasn-" a knock at the door interrupts my sentence, "Come in" She says glaring at me as a nurse opens the door.

"Hey there Mama, we have a visitor." the nurse wheel in a tiny cart that has a bunch of equipment coming from it. She looks at me and asks Y/n, "Is this dad?" she nods and rolls her eyes. "About time you made it!" She smiles my way. Placing the beautiful baby in front of us. She's so small and fragile. "The doctor will be in shortly to talk to you." She states picking up the tiny child and putting her in Y/n's arm.

"Hi pumpkin," Y/n coos into her ear. "Guess who decided to show?" She smiles, a tear falling from the corner of her eye. She nods her head towards me as I go to hold her. She's so soft and precious. Her small eyes have a gorgeous mix of both mine and Y/n's. She has such a cute round face, I couldn't imagine her looking any different.

"Hi there angel, I'm so sorry I was late." I see a spot dampen on her blanket that surrounds her, knowing that I'm crying. Her small eyes shining like twinkling stars. So small I can feel her fragile body between my large hands.

Another knock before the door opens when several doctors walk in. "Mrs. Y/ln, unfortunately, we have some bad news,"

"Oh, hello there Mr. Styles." They state acknowledging my existence. One of the female doctors places a black and white image on the lighted board illuminating the small figure.

"Unfortunately, due to the accident, Athena has suffered from what we call a fetomaternal hemorrhage."

"What exactly are you saying?" Y/n ask looking at the child still in my arms.

The slightly shorter male doctor points to the image. "This is an abscess of blood in the brain. Unfortunately, the risk is too large to operate. I'd give her another day at most."

"You m-mean," Tears start pouring down her face" I was so scared she was hurt. I-I promise I saw the light it was red, and I-I stopped but," She began heaving losing more air with each word. I gently rub her back as I cradle Athena with one arm.

"She's still being monitored but I'm afraid she won't have much longer." The first doctor breaks the silence. "According to the police report the car that struck you from behind happened to be a drunk driver, Gage Joyce." I can feel the anger surging through me. "I remember the clashing of metal, glass breaking, the sirens but it all went b-black." She mumbles, seemingly remembering the awful experience. I grab her hand in hopes of comforting her but it doesn't seem to work.

"After striking your car at 72 mph it had ample force to push your vehicle into the opposite traffic. Your vehicle took the most impact and was hit by four other cars. On scene, EMT's said you were in and out of consciousness mumbling about a baby. Taken and brought to the L&D." he finishes.

"Fetomaternal hemorrhages are often caused by trauma and sometimes can be revered but in this case, we've done all we can do." They all frown looking at the small girl still in my arms.

"No, there's got to be more you can bloody do! We're in a hospital for Christ sakes!" I exclaim, passing my daughter to the love of my life. She gently caresses her soft skin. She's literally a perfect combination of us. I cannot lose my family.

"You can leave, thank you all for your help." y/n says quietly, they oblige by her wishes and leave us with our daughter.

"Harry," she wipes a tear from her face cautious of the IV placed on her hand, "If what they say is true, I just want to spend time with her." She sniffles. I nod understanding. She looks back at the small being in her arms, "Hi pretty girl, Mommy's so happy to meet you," she unfolds the blanket from her. I sit next to her on the small bed in the room that smells of sterilization. Placing my finger near hers' she wraps her small hand around my thumb, her grip so tight for someone so small. Y/n kisses her forehead, "Harry," she runs her finger along her small legs.

"Can you sing the song?" nodding and softly singing Isn't she Lovely by Stevie Wonder, in the small hospital bed as our new life falls asleep. All night I watch her little chest rise and fall allowing y/n to get some rest soon following my two loves.

By the early morning, nurses are rushing in because of the loud beeping from the monitor, waking y/n and I. It feels like everything is happening so fast but in slow motion right in front of me. Those three words are the ones I didn't want to hear. "No! no. I have to take her home. She's gotta go home..." Y/n screams, not being able to see her face due to the tears in my eyes falling and rebuilding themselves faster than the speed of light. "Call it." One of the nurses shouts.

"Time of Death 6:18 am March 7th, 2019"

As they cleared out the room, I see her small lifeless body curled into a blanket, almost as if she were sleeping, but no longer do breaths fall from her small heart-shaped lips.

//////////////////////////

Y/n hasn't said a word since we got in the car. It's been four days since we lost Athena. She slowly climbs into the car, still sore from the accident and birth. I go to the backseat holding back my emotions and putting the empty car-seat in the trunk of the car that should have been holding three of us.

Starting the silent journey back home she continues to look out of the window, a frown etched on her mouth, tears rolling down her cheeks as she instinctively touches her somewhat deflated stomach. What kind of sick joke is this?

"Harry why were you with her?" she asks me looking down at what used to be her baby bump.

"I wasn't love, she took my phone while I was on stage." She just nods and remains silent until we pull up to the flat. She begins walking up the stairs as best she can. "Y/n wait, let me help."

"No Harry!" She yells. Pain evident in her voice, ignoring her I open the door and help her inside. "Harry I can't do this." I stare at her confused, "What can't you do y/n?"

"Us Harry. I can't look at you and not think of her." She sobs.

"Y/n we can-" I try to reason with her.

"No Harry, please just go." She whispers.

"I'm not losing both of you," I state holding back my own sobs. I feel like everything feels like it's getting smaller around me, suffocating in grief.

"You already have."

A/N: What can I say I have a thing for dark endings. Anyways I really appreciate the support loves. I hope you enjoy these! Right now I've been working on a Loki piece, I'm so excited for it. I changed the writing style tho, so it's not 1st person per usual. I think it's going pretty well so far.

xoxo Janelle

[cicinicole-14]

Hi for the ship thing and headcanons, please do jolex 🥰

Who is a night owl:

dont get me wrong, they both most definitely will stay up late together or both pass out before 9pm on a Friday night, but some days when the depression hits, its jsut different and Jo is definitely more of the night owl. Alex is more of a morning person and Jo would rather sleep like the dead. 

Who is a morning person:

as we’ve discovered, more so Alex esp when they have kiddos. Alex is the one to get up with them early and let Jo sleep, he makes breakfast with the kids’ help and keeps their room quiet for jo to get some extra sleep but will unleash their evil spawns when he deems she’s slept in long enough. 

Are they cuddlers:

some days, yes, mostly. jo definitely loves the affection from someone who genuinely loves and wants her back. but there are days where she literally is like “do not come near me with your (temperature) hot body Alexander Michael Karev, you are a heater and I am already too warm” 

Who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon:

Alex is def the big spoon. Jo likes cuddling into him because sh feels safe, he feels like home. but she def has big spooned him too it’s a 50/50 relationship we have equal roles people

What is their favourite sleeping position:

no lie, both spread out like starfish in their bed. 

Who steals all the blankets: 

Jo. Alex is a space heater and doesnt need blankets she freezes and likes being snuggled up and warm

What they wear to bed:

I mean some nights, nothing, but like jo def loves Alex’s old Iowa state shirts or his wrestling shirts from HS that smell like him. an old worn in t-shirt, anything with a pair of booty shorts or his boxers even. and Alex will just wear a t-shirt and boxers or flannels in the winter. 

Who likes seeing the other wearing their t-shirt:

Alex wholeheartedly loves when jo wears his shirts unless its his favorite flannel and she steals it “come on, jo. you know that’s my favorite one. I wear it all the time.” its exactly why she takes it. 

Who falls asleep mid-conversation:

jo, unintentionally. sometimes the insomnia hits and she won’t have slept for a couple days so when life catches back up to her she will fall asleep randomly. even more so while pregnant and right after their daughter is born. she just “night night Josephine” 

Who wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares:

they both have their fair share of horrid nightmares. Alex’s deal a lot with his trauma of growing up. his mom pulling various knives on his siblings and dad attacking them. even nightmares of jo leaving him like Izzie did and he wakes up without her. 

jo’s are terrifying as well. she dreams that Paul’s death was just an illusion and that hes still out there and he’ll still come and get her. she wakes up drenched in a cold sweat and Alex holds her and they pull up his death certificate on the gsm database to prove it. she also has nightmares about being abandoned again. dreams of herself as a baby, dreams of her mother leaving her at that firestation. horrid nightmares. and Alex just holds her. she also has many nightmares about Alex abandoning her too just like her mother abandoned her but he’s never done that he’s always there when she wakes up and everything is okay again

Who accidentally punched the other in their sleep:

jo is an absolute horrible bed partner. she does NOT sleep still. she will move around so much during sleep its dangerous. yes, Alex did wake up with a bruise across his cheek one night from an elbow to the face...

Who can’t keep their hands to themself:

both of them. theyre notorious horndogs no autocorrect they are not corndogs please stop correcting me when you’re wrong 

and just because, im throwing in the parenting meme one too bc my heart melts

packs the lunches

Alex. he gets up with the kids in the mornings and also we do not trust jo to make their children food. she’d feed them boxed Mac n cheese and take out the entirety of their lives. and while they love that and Alex wouldn’t care if it was jsut them, their kids need real food. he packs them lunchables and uncrustables but at least its a little more of a variety. 

blows raspberries while cuddling

jo, more so. they both do, but jo LOVES a good chunky baby belly she can blow raspberries onto. and yes she leaves maroon lipstick marks on chubby cheeks and bellies. 

is the tickle monster

Alex. and she runs to mommy to save her from daddy! “oh, now you want mommy, huh? as soon as daddy is the tickle monster all you want is mommy? not when I wanted cuddles, or we picked you up from daycare or I dont know, I gave birth to you and wanted snuggles you cry and want daddy but now hes the tickle monster you want me?” and jo scoops her up and tries saving her but ultimately they lose and get attacked in their very large bed by the tickle monster. 

gives life lesson speeches

they both do just depending on the situations. 

when the girls start dating, jo sits them all down separately, and explains to them a bit of her past. letting them know that no man should ever lay hands on them. she teaches them how to defend themselves and Alex ofc shows them in example how women should be treated. Alex makes it clear that if a guy or girl ever should treat his daughters or his son in any other way than he treats jo, that he needs to know and gOD forbiD one of them lay a finger on one of his children there WILL be hell to pay. jo obviously consoles him in front of her children but tells him “u already have a record. if anyone lays hands on our children I will be putting them in the ground not you”

kisses the boo-boos

Alex he is a pushover and 100% makes sure all boo-boos are kissed and even when the kids are way too old for having their boo-boos kissed, he makes sure the bandaids that are no longer avengers or dinosaur or unicorn or princess themed, have been properly kissed. even through protests of “dad, im not five anymore I dont need my bandaids kissed” “how do you expect them to heal, then, CJ? you’re my most clumsy kid, and I have had to kiss all your boo-boos and never once have I not. thats why you’re still in once piece” 

breaks the bad news

jo makes Alex do it most times. she claims she’s the fun parent and tries to stay the fun parent by making Alex break bad news like “we cannot get another dog” she blames it on Alex but then brings home a puppy the following week. 

joins the PTA

listen. LISTEN. when Greyson started big kid school, in kindergarten, they placed her in private school to give her everything they didnt have growing up. jo was determined to make sure she gave her daughter everything made sure she felt loved and was spoiled it was terrible. so jo, of course, sent her to Seattle Elementary academy and was not paying attention when she signed some forms signing up to be in the PTA. she loathed it so much and “Alex im sorry I cant do this. I know we wanted to give Gracie everything we didnt have growing up but I cant take it I cant take the private school. the volunteer hours the strict dress code violations? she is FIVE. I also have to volunteer FORTY HOURS this year alone. no! I am a surgeon, a mother of two and im pregnant! I do not have time for this! all these PTA moms are stay at home moms who have nothing better to do than gossip about their neighbors and drink wine. and I swear to god if I have to hear about Jessica’s fucking essential oils pyramid scheme one more time I will shove those oils so far up her a––” “Jo! Look, Ali, mommy’s here!” Alex interrupts her just in time. he doesnt blame her. those private school moms are quiet the handful. every time, one of them has the nerve to hit on him. “and I swear, if one more of those moms hits on you in front of me, im going to backhand her with my engagement ring on. no hate to most of them, but theyre too much” they end up ending Gracie, and Ali and the rest of the kids to public school just like they had grown up in and did just fine. 

crashes sleepovers with embarrassing stories

oh one hundred and ten percent Alexander Michael Karev. he will find any moment to break out embarrassing stories and photos. hell, even when Zola, Bailey, ellis, Sofia, Harriet, scout, any of the bunch come over he’ll embarrass them too!  

gives the crazy nicknames

not really either of them (that ive figured out in the moment) (the kkc kids do not have crazy nicknames yet) (we jsut have Gracie for Greyson, Ali for Alice, and CJ for Cristina Jo. Alexis goes by Sissy because of Alexis and Alexa and Eli usually goes by bubba seeing as how that’s what the twins have called each other growing up with Izzie and that stuck) 

thank you so much for these! I loved loved loved doing them! even threw in some KKC universe things so if yall have questions about that feel free to ask I will share! tho there is yet to have a fic out about them yet… its been a bit difficult with writers block /: 

[castiel-barnes]

What?

Pairing: Poe Dameron × Pregnant! Reader (Y/N)

Summary: You get some unexpected news and somehow you have to break it to Poe.

Word count: 3.28k

Warnings: Swear words, mentions of vomiting. Very very soft Poe and BB8.

A/n: I thought I'd stir up the pot on this one, I got a little time to do a little bit of writing so I'm doing this piece. Don't worry i am still trying to think of how im gonna write the Frankie story. I know some of this is probably inaccurate, but I've never given birth so the stuff I've written I've researched.

Tags: @phoenixhalliwell

Your husband Poe was on a little trip off Yavin IV, whilst you were home sorting out a few things like packing away bits and pieces from your recent move. Both Poe and you wanted to come live on his home planet of Yavin, and now that the war was over and you no longer lived in fear and have to relocate every once in a while it was perfect.

You was in the living room arranging the bookshelf, when you had first felt it. The overwhelming feeling of wanting to throw up. Rushing to the refresher you hunched over and started hurling. You was the only one home at the moment, and you was glad cause you didn't want to worry Poe or BB8. Sitting there, you thought to when you had last had a period. Shit. Your due date was past by almost a week. After you cleaned yourself up, you decided that you had to go get a pregnancy test.

Knowing that Poe wasn't back until later that evening, you knew you had time to prepare a little suprise. You had bought a test and now you sat by yourself in the refresher with the test in front of you.

"H-holy shit." You said looking at the test.

It was positive.

You were pregnant.

You both wanted children, that much was true. Poe wanted a little girl and name her after his mother, and you agreed it was a beautiful name after all. However, you didn't think to have them this soon after the war. You wanted to settle down in your home, get to know the planet better before you had children. You had to think of a plan. A plan to tell both Poe and BB8.

Poe and BB8 came home and they were both excited to see you. But the original plan you had went completely out the window. And Poe could pick up on your anxiety.

"Beebs can you leave the room for a moment please. And no eavesdropping, we both know what you're like." Poe said with a slight chuckle, and then he turned his attention to you.

"Baby? What's wrong?" He asked concern etched on his face,

"I-i didn't want to tell you like this, a-and I know that we agreed that we'd do this after we settled down. And that we were going to do it together. B-but you know things happen." You replied rambling with tears dripping down your face. Poe took his hand in yours and sat you down.

"Y/n, honey calm down. What.... what are you trying to say?" He frowned questioning you,

"I'm.... I'm pregnant Poe." You replied letting out a sigh and studying his face. He was still frowning but he had confusion on his face.

"What?" He asked again,

"I'm pregnant. We're gonna have a kid." You replied, this time setting the positive pregnancy test in the palm of his hand. He looked at it, his mouth open in awe and then he looked back up at you. This time you were not the only one with tears. He smiled and incased you in a hug. You felt a few warm tears land on your shoulder, but you knew he was happy. Looking back up at you, he wiped a few of your tears from your cheeks.

"When did you find out?" Poe questioned,

"This afternoon. I was in the living room, when I felt sick and I went to the refresher to throw up. And I was going to suprise you, but I started to panic. I remembered that I was a week late." You responded looking down at the test that was now between the two of you on the sofa.

"We're gonna be fine yeah baby?" Poe said, you nodded,

"We need to tell BB." You stated. Poe held onto your hand kissed you before calling in BB8.

"Hey beebs you can come back now." Poe called out. You were both expecting BB to roll back in the room, but there came no droid.

"Beebs?" Poe called again, but still no response. Sighing, Poe got up and walked out the room looking for BB. A moment later you hear Poe talking to him,

"Droid! What are you doing? Did you fry a chip again? C'mon buddy, stop wondering. Mum and I got something to tell you."

You smiled at Poe calling the two of you mum and dad. Especially now that it was true, and were having a human child. Both of them came into the room and Poe sat down next to you.

"Do you want to tell him darling?" Poe asked you,

"You can tell him baby." You responded.

"Ok uhm.... buddy listen. I think it's about time we give a meaning to BB. yeah?" Poe started and BB8 beeped in response,

"Well Beebs, I think BB should now stand for big brother. How does that sound?" He continued. BB8 let out a short beep,

'Really?'

"Yeah buddy that's right, you're gonna be a big brother." You said laughing, as you both watched BB8 twirling around. He rolled up to you and nudged your leg,

'A little sibling?'

"Yeah beebs a little sibling." You responded smiling and rubbing his belly.

***************

Few weeks later:

It had been a few weeks since you had found out that you were pregnant, and you told both Poe and BB8.

It was early this one morning, and by this time you had been semi acquainted with the feeling of sickness. Not that you enjoyed it. You rushed to the refresher, not wanting to wake Poe up. But you knew he was still a light sleeper, from the shared experience in the resistance. You felt Poe's hand on your back, rubbing it gently in circles.

"I'm here baby, your alright." Poe whispered to you. You leaned back into him after you finished throwing up.

"I hate throwing up." You said nuzzling into his neck,

"I know sweetheart, I know. But its gonna be so fucking worth it." Poe reassured you.

"You getting tired baby?" Poe asked and you nodded. You wiped and rinsed your mouth so you wouldn't have the gross taste, and the next thing you knew Poe was picking you up and carrying you back to bed.

Poe laid you down gently on the bed, and kissed the top of your head.

“Do you want ginger tea?” Poe asked quietly,

“Yes please.” You replied snuggling under the blanket.

A few minutes later Poe came back with a mug of steaming hot ginger tea. Setting the cup down on the bedside table, he walked around the bed and sat back down in the bed. You snuggled into Poe’s side and started to drift off again, but not before you took a few sips of the tea. 

******************************

12 weeks pregnant:

“Poe. Baby wake up, we finally can see our little bean. Poe!” you said swatting him awake. He looked at you with a sleepy smile, and fucking hell you could die for  that smile and his unruly curls. 

“Let’s get breakfast, and then we can finally see our baby Dameron.” Poe replied whilst gently cupping your stomach. 

After the two of you had your breakfast, you both quickly got changed. Down in the medbay, you sat there nervously and started fidgeting. It was going to be the first time either of you had seen your baby.

"Hey, you alright?" Poe asked,

"Yeah I'm a bit nervous but I'm excited." You replied holding Poe's hand. You sat there for a little while longer and then got called into the doctors room.

"Oh fuck that's cold." You exclaimed as the nurse put the cold gel on your tummy. Poe smiled at you, and continued to hold your hand. The next thing you see, is your baby on the monitor.

"Aww sweetheart, look it's our a little baby dameron." Poe said to you. In his eyes you could see a little tear forming, you could tell he was happy and proud. Proud of you. You're literally carrying his kid for 9 months, and you had helped Poe every step of the way as a resistance general. You had also helped him through many nightmares and after he'd come back from various missions injured. Proud of himself. Both of you know that his parents would be proud of the 2 of you, but mostly Poe. They'd be proud of the man he has become. A resistance general. A husband. And now a father.

"Our baby is so small." You let out in a whisper,

"Yeah they are aren't they darling." Poe responded with a smile. A while later, the two of you made it back home. Your cravings hadn't been crazy crazy, but you craved a lot of jogan fruit and blue milk pancakes. So, you decided that you wouldn't go out anymore today, unless it was absolutely necessary. Poe had you snuggled up in his arms and was watching some old holovids, with a bowl of jogan fruit between the two of you.

Looking at the scan of the baby again, tears started to come to your eyes. Pregnancy hormones. You knew you'd get them at some point, but you wasn't sure when. Poe seemed to notice that you had started to cry and immediately comforted you.

"Hey, hey baby what's wrong?" Poe asked quickly grabbing a tissue for you,

"T-they're gonna be so small. Like gonna be smaller than BB8 and- and BB8 is gonna be the best big brother ever." You replied sobbing in his arms.

"Oh Y/N sweetheart, is it hormones?" Poe asked gently holding you to his chest. You nodded and continued to cry. BB8 rolled up to you and let out a confused beep. He didn't understand why you were crying, there was no bad news, nothing bad had happened. Poe just shook his head and the droid rolled away.

"They're gonna be so cute and small. I just know that they're gonna be as smart as their momma. And BB8 is definitely gonna be the best big brother throughout the entire galaxy." Poe continued. He stayed like that with you for a long time, until he couldn't hear you crying anymore. As he looked down, he discovered that you had fell asleep in his arms.

***************************

30 weeks pregnant:

It had been about 10 weeks since you had found out that the two of you were having a little girl. In honour of Poe's mother, you both decided that your little girl was gonna be named after his mother. Shara Bey Dameron.

You had both been in bed for quite a while now. It was about 2 in the morning. However, little Shara had other ideas and wanted to kick you. You had sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed with one hand on your stomach and one supporting you. It had been late, and you didn't want to wake Poe like usual. But knowing him, he wouldn't stay asleep.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, you were half asleep but desperate for actual sleep. Feeling the bed shift behind you, you felt Poe's hand gently on your back.

"Hey, you alright?" Poe asked with a deep sleep filled voice,

"Hmm? Oh.. yeah I'm fine baby, just tired. Shara hasn't stopped kicking for the past hour. And I really need to go toilet." You responded, your voice still hoarse from the lack of sleep you had.

"Do you want me to help you?" Poe asked, already knowing the answer and moving to your side of the bed,

"Please." You said, letting Poe come to you. As he came round to your side of the bed he kneeled down first and placed his hand on your stomach.

"Hey baby girl, can you not kick momma anymore tonight please? She's very tired and I know your excited to exist, but you gotta let her sleep. Okay little one?" Poe whispered softly to Shara. And somehow it seemed to work. You squinted your eyes at him. Was he magical or something. You had tried for the past hour to stop her kicking you and it didn't work.

"How did you do that?" You asked him,

"I don't know, I just told her to stop. C'mon Mrs Dameron, let's get you to the refresher to go toilet. Yeah?" Poe stated.

"Yeah. Thank you Mr Dameron." You replied holding onto him as he helped you up,

"It's not a problem honey, you know that." He said with a smile. The two of you returned to the bedroom and Shara was still calm. Finally you were able to get some proper sleep.

In the morning, Poe had let you sleep in knowing that night you had. With Shara kicking you, and needing to go to the refresher a few times. It was no doubt you needed extra sleep.

A while later you awoke, with Poe still in bed next to you.

"Hey there baby." You said looking at him with a sleepy smile,

"Hey, how you feeling darling?" Poe replied cupping your baby bump with his warm hands.

"Like shit, but it's not long now until we meet our little shara." You responded laying your head on his shoulder. He smiled at you and kissed your forehead.

"I can't wait to meet her. She's going to be so adorable baby." Poe said smiling still cupping the bump. He slid down the bed slowly and placed his head gently on your bump.

"Hey there baby girl, it's papa. How are you today my little one? Are you behaving this morning? You made momma real tired last night baby girl, you need to calm down honey. You're just like your dad, but we expected that didn't we momma?" Poe said talking to the bump and kissing it gently.

"Yeah we did honey." You answered, smiling softly at the sight before you. Shara wasn't even there yet, but Poe was already being a really good father. And husband.

You wouldn’t trade him for the galaxy. He was nice, kind, cute, hot, strong, funny and caring. The first time the two of you had met, he had helped you to fix something on your X-Wing and he asked you to go to drinks afterwards cause he thought you were cute. The two of you had both fallen hard for each other. And even now when you didn't think you could fall anymore for him. You could. The sight before you made your heart burst with love. Just seeing Poe talk to your baby girl, and telling her stories that she wouldn't be able to remember until she was older. It was something you wouldn't have thought would happen all those years ago, when you were by yourself on Tattoine.

*************************

39 weeks pregnant:

Poe was somewhere else in the house at the time. You just got back into the bedroom from the refresher when you felt it. Luckily BB8 was in the room with you. Your water had just broke. It's happening.

"S-shit. POOEE!" You shouted for him, but he couldn't hear you.

"POOEE!" You shouted again, but still nothing,

'Mum?' BB8 beeped confused.

"Beebs go get dad now!! Tell him its happening. Oooooh shit." You replied to him, and then having a contraction.

'Ok.' BB replied to you and rolled away quickly.

BB found Poe and rolled up to him as quick as possible.

"Woah buddy you know the speed limit in the house." Poe said with a chuckle,

'Dad! Shut up! Mum needs you. She said it's happening.' BB let an annoyed and worried beep, wanting to get back to you.

"Shit!" Poe exclaimed running towards the bedroom with droid in tow. Rushing into the room, instantly coming to you.

"Honey why didn't you shout for me?" Poe asked letting you hold onto his hand,

"I did. F-fuck shit. Poee we need to go now." You groaned going through another contraction and squeezing his hand.

"Alright sweetheart, I've got you. I've got your hospital bag. Let's go." Poe replied helping you.

When you finally got to the med Bay, you were half way to being fully dilated. As you laid there in the bed, Poe stayed with you the entire time holding your hand.

"How you feeling honey?" Poe asked stroking your hair back.

"Like crap baby. Ohhh poe go get the nurse, I really want to push oohh shit." You replied throwing your head back at the intensifying pain, that you could feel even though you had been given medication.

"O-ok baby I'll be right back." Poe said rushing out the room to find a nurse. Not a minute later, he came back with some nurses and went back to holding your hand.

"Start pushing Y/n." The nurse told you, and you started to push.

"AHHHH f-fuck. Poe I can't do it. Ahhh!" You said panting and yelling in pain,

"Yes you can sweetie. You're so strong Y/N/N, come on darling just a few more pushes and we'll get to make our baby girl." Poe replied, stroking your hair back and letting you squeeze his hand as possible.

"Ahhhh fucking kriffing fuck!" You yelled with a final push. The next thing you heard was your baby cries filling the room. Looking over you see the nurses cleaning Shara and then passing her to you.

"Oh my god. Hey baby girl. Hi." You said to Shara who was laying on your chest with you crying. Looking over at Poe you saw his eyes streaming with tears and a huge smile on his face.

"Honey, look at her she's so beautiful." You said still tearful,

"She's so beautiful just like her momma." Poe replied with a crack in his voice.

"Do you wanna hold your daughter baby?" You asked looking at him. He looked at you with a look that made your heart burst again. He nodded and stood up so he could pick Shara up.

Poe took Shara from you so gently and cradled her in his arms. Shara was so tiny compared to him, and there he stood with his daughter barely an hour old.

"Hey my little girl. You're so cute, aww that's a big yawn. Look at you, you're so beautiful and your our little rebel." Poe cooed.

He walked over to you after walking around the room with Shara, and sat down gently on the bed next to you. Poe held Shara in one arm and you in the other.

"You done so well honey. I'm so proud of you." Poe said kissing the top of your head,

"Thank you baby. I couldn't have done it without you. I can't wait for beebs to meet his little sister." You replied leaning into his touch.

"I can't wait either baby. Get some rest okay? You just pushed out a whole ass human, you deserve some sleep." Poe stated looking at you already starting to drift off. You hummed in response and fell asleep, whilst Poe stayed there and held Shara.

*********************************

A while later:

You and your family had finally made it home. Poe had carried Shara in her seat, and you followed suite with your hospital bag.

"Hey beebs we're home!" You stated and as soon as you did, the little droid came rolling in all excited.

"Hey buddy, you gotta be quiet okay? Your little sister is sleeping." Poe said to BB8,

'Okay' BB beeped quietly.

Poe sat the baby chair down and knelt down next to it. Gently, he got Shara out and showed her to BB8.

'Is she really my little sister?' BB beeped quietly, observing the very small human being in her dad's arms,

"Yeah buddy, she is." You replied walking over to the three of them. What happened next made your heart swell to the size of the sun. And made Poe almost cry. Very carefully, BB8 moved his head forwards and placed it ever so lightly on Shara's.

'I love you.' BB beeped.

"Aww buddy." Poe said with a crack in his voice.

From that moment on, BB had stayed in Shara's nursery every night and every day she stayed in there for a nap. You couldn't ask for a better family. It was just you, Poe, BB8 and Shara. And that's all that you needed.

[kyber-kisses]

Sleep Demons

Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: sleep paralysis, nightmares, cursing. That good ol angst and fluff

Summary: Being a hunter, nightmares are just another part of the gig, the only problem? The readers are worst than most.

A/n: Once again, I’m throwing another Dean comfort!fic at you. (Try and stop me.) anyways, hope you guys enjoy and my SPN taglist is still open! I also based this off my own experience with sleep paralysis.

Nightmares were the bane of your existence.

You would think that being a hunter for so long that you wouldn’t be afraid of anything. You had seen everything from ghosts to the very devil himself. . . So what exactly was left to be afraid of? You would have thought the answer would be simple, but it wasn’t. It was about as long and complicated as the life itself.

As a life long hunter the days can easily blur together, and many times it can feel like you haven’t slept for days, but when sleep did come it was rarely ever relaxing. That was when the nightmares replaced the horrors of the waking hours, weaseling their way into every crack and crevice of your mind and paralyzing you with fear. . . Literally.

Your nightmares were worst than what most people had. They were twisted and warped and strong enough to partially make it into your conscious. Most of them were about people you had failed, people you had lost- and then there were the ones about people you were afraid to lose. Like Sam and Dean.

But the absolute worst ones were the sleep paralysis demons that came much too often. It was usually the same shadowy figure sitting at the edge of your bed when it happened. You had done some research on it when sleep didn’t come at all only to find out that it was the concoction of your body waking up but your brain still in dreaming mode, resulting in your nightmares being projected into the real world.

The end result was that the nightmares disrupted your sleep cycle and tried to jerk you out of it early, leaving your body in lock down mode while you were fully conscious. You had lost count of how many times you found yourself paralyzed in your bed. Sometimes you would even try to scream but nothing happened. The noise unable to escape your throat.

You of course didn’t tell the brothers of your problem. . . Especially Dean. He could usually read you like an open book but you tried hard to keep this hidden. You were a hunter. Hunters didn’t get scared. You didn’t need anyone’s judgment- so you suffered in silence.

And that’s the way it stayed for a very long time.

*. *. *. *. *. *.

“Y/N?. . . Y/N!” Dean sighed, his voice raising as he snapped his fingers in front of your face, snapping you out of your zoned out state. He had been talking to you for the past five minutes but only now noticed your lack of attention.

Blinking out of your thoughts, you looked across the table at Dean, finding his face screwed up in concern. “What?”

“I’ve been talking to you for the last five minutes- what the hell is going on with you?”

Shit. He was on to you. He knew something was up. Quick, feed him a lie.

“I’m fine! Just thinking about the case.”

At that you watched Deans face fall further, eyes filling up even more with concern. “Y/N we aren’t working a case. Now tell me the truth.”

In truth Dean had been concerned about you for awhile now. The bags under your eyes were there more often than not and this wasn’t the first time you had zoned out. He just didn’t know what was wrong specifically.

“Dean, I’m fine!”

The older Winchester let out a deep sigh, crossing his arms over the table as he leaned forward. “You’re sitting here drinking coffee at 11:30 at night. Sweetheart that ain’t fine.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. “I’m just. . . So into this research. It’s a real attention grabber. Didn’t want to pass out.”

The hunter across from you rolled his eyes, clearly not taking the bait. “Well hate to burst your bubble there but that’s decaf.”

“Sam-“ you grumbled in annoyance, shoving the useless drink away from you along with your book. This whole conversation was turning into a train wreck. “I’m gonna kill him.”

The faint trances of a smile crossed Deans face, even if only for a moment. “Please don’t. Sure he’s annoying at times but he’s actually a decent brother.”

He was hoping to at least get a small smile out of you. . . But nothing came. Rolling your shoulders you gave him one last look before pushing yourself out of your seat. There was no point sitting here if you were eventually going to fall asleep. Plus, you really wanted to avoid telling Dean the truth. You didn’t need to burden him with more problems.

“I’m going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.” You yawned, already dreading the coming hours. “Good night, Dean.”

You didn’t even give him a chance to answer before you were stepping out of the library and down the dim hallway towards your room, leaving Dean in silence as he watched you go, expression still heavy with concern. He wanted to run after you, make sure you were okay- but he didn’t want to pester you, not when you looked so tired. He didn’t need to annoy you. . . Especially not at this hour.

It was maybe five minutes later that Sam strode in, claiming your now vacant seat as his own, only to find his brother staring off into the distance, deep in thought.

“Dude, you okay?” He paused, seeing he had yet to catch his attention. “Dean!”

“Hmm?”

“What the hell were you thinking about? You were totally zoned out.” Leaning back in the wooden chair, he folded his arms, waiting patiently for an answer.

“Has Y/N seemed off to you lately? Like not her normal self?

There was a pause from the younger Winchester before he answered. “I mean, she has seemed more tired lately, but that’s about it. Why?”

Dean chewed on the inside of his cheek, trying to decipher the problem at hand. He missed the usual you. The vibrant and energetic you. Now that he had come to think of it, he hadn’t seen that part of you in a long time. You tried to act like your usual self but Dean suddenly realized there was a tint to it. What he and Sam had been seeing these past few months was just an act.

“God, I’m such an idiot-“ he sighed, head falling forward into his hands at the realization. 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Y/N! What else?” He half shouted, eyes darting back to the door to makes sure you weren’t listening in. “I mean, Ive been worrying about her for awhile now, but I just-.” he took a deep breath. “ Shes struggling with something.”

“Struggling with what?”

“Hell if I know!” Dean sighed, throwing his hands up. “I just tried asking her and she shut me down.”

“Then go talk to her.” Sam tried, seeing clearly that his brother wanted nothing more than to help you. Dean was always looking out for you, even if you didn’t always realize it.

“She went to bed. . . I’ll have to try talking to her in the morning.”

Sam tapped out around an hour later, going off to bed without a word, leaving Dean in a lonely silence. He was only half paying attention to the work he was doing, his eyes having gone over the same paragraph several times but not processing any of it.

It wasn’t until the clock on the opposite wall read 1:30 that he knew he had to surrender and give up. Maybe if he tried he could still squeeze in his average four hours of sleep before he had to get up and get back to work. Maybe it would help get his mind running again.

Peeling himself out of his seat and slightly stretching, Dean set off towards his own room, turning off the many lights that were still on as he went. The silence becoming almost deafening without the buzz of electricity.

It wasn’t until he was reaching for the handle of his own door that the silence was broken, a crash echoing down the hallway from the direction of your room and making him pause. Before he could register his own movements he was walking down the hall. He wasn’t sure if it was curiosity or worry that was pulling him along. Maybe it was both.

The hunter side of him wanted to throw open your door and burst in, but he kept himself calm, raising his hand to rap his knuckles against the door softly. “Y/N?” He paused, only twisting the knob a few seconds later when he didn’t get any sort of response.

He mostly expected to see you tucked under the covers and sound asleep, but instead he was met with a totally different sight.

You had your back pressed firmly into your headboard, knees tucked against you tightly while your hands were planted firmly against the headboard, almost like you had scrambled back in terror. Your eyes wide and glossed over with fear, tear stained cheeks a rosy red.

“Woah, hey. You okay?” His tone rushed as he stepped over the threshold, eyebrows knitting together in concern. He had never seen you like this and it made his stomach drop.

“Just-just a nightmare.” You panted, dragging a shaky hand down your face. “I’m sorry.”

You didn’t want to annoy him anymore than you probably already had. He needed his sleep too and now your stupid little problem had stopped him from that. You should have known this would happen sooner or later. If you had just put your damn laptop on your desk instead of leaving it on the bed, then you never would have kicked it off when you had snapped out of your paralysis.

“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t need to apologize.” He breathed, “I get em too.” kneeling down, he picked your laptop up from the ground, setting it on your side table. Nightmares. He should have known. God, now he really did feel stupid.

“You- you can go back to bed. I’m fine.” You stuttered, looping your arms around your knees in hopes of finding some sort of comfort.

“Y/N, you’re shaking. That’s not fine. Now tell me what’s going on.”

Slowly he lowered himself to sit on the edge of your bed, watching you intently and giving all of his attention over to you. He wanted to help. He needed to help.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up. I didn’t mean to.”

“I wasn’t asleep. . . Plus I don’t sleep much as it is. Like I said, you’re not the only one who gets nightmares.”

“Oh.” You say in a lame response, looking down at your hands. You had been clenching them so hard that there were now crescent shaped divots in the skin of your palms. “I think mine can out beat yours though.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

You couldn’t bring yourself to look up at him. He was probably giving you some sort of pitiful look. “Not really. But I know that if I don’t you’ll just keep worrying about me.”

“I’m always worrying about you.” He swallowed, “ain’t nothing new there.”

“As a hunter I thought I wasn’t supposed to be afraid of anything.” You explained, tugging your comforter back over your tucked in legs. “Yet somehow damn nightmares are the thing that is tearing me apart. I think mine are worst than most.”

“Why do you think that?”

Letting out another sigh, you finally looked up, eyes locking with his jade ones. He looked concerned. He looked sad. “The sleep demons. The paralysis. They used to be rare but now it happens almost nightly.”

“I’m sorry, sleep demons?” His tone slightly raising in surprise. He wasn’t expecting to hear that. Hell, he didn’t exactly know what you were talking about.

You let out a soft hum, nodding your head in defeat. “They’re hallucinations linked to sleep paralysis. It occurs when a person is jolted awake in the middle of dreaming.” You paused, trying to find the best way of explaining it. “Basically you wake up - but your brain is still dreaming, and it projects your nightmares into the real world.”

Dean was silent for a moment, taking in the information slowly. You had been dealing with this by yourself? Alone? Why didn’t you come to him or Sam?

 “Why didn’t you tell us? We could have helped you sooner.”

“Didn’t want to bother you- plus, I hate even thinking about it, Dean. Everything about it is terrifying.”

Chewing on the inside of his lip, Dean dared to venture further into the conversation. If he wanted to help you, he needed more answers. “You could never bother me. I need you to know that.” He paused. “Now what is this sleep paralysis or whatever like?”

There was a stretch of silence from your end before you answered. “Awful. In every sense of the word. The first thing I usually see when I wake up is the same shadowy figure sitting on the end of my bed. I don’t know who or what it is, all I know is that it’s a concoction that my head made up. Maybe it’s how I envision fear, I don’t know.” You shrugged. “And when it happens I can’t move. I can’t blink. I sometimes try to scream but nothing comes out. Sometimes it lasts a few seconds. Sometimes a few minutes. And the whole time I just have fear coursing through me. It’s basically like starting a dream and waking up in the middle of it.”

“Y/N, you should have come to me! You shouldn’t have to suffer alone like that!” Dean let out a sigh, giving you one of his defeated looks that made your heart break in two.

He couldn’t imagine going through what you did on a nightly basis. Being awake and not being able to move? Not having anyone to help you? Sure, he had nightmares but those were nothing like this. They were usually about losing you or Sam. . . Or about the people he had failed to save.

“I’m sorry- I just-“ you panted, unable to form words as tears formed in your eyes. You were so tired, and still so scared. Your own mind would be the thing that killed you if this kept going.

“Hey, hey it’s okay.” Dean hurried, shifting so he could pull you into him, his arms wrapping around you to rub soothing circles on your back, almost instantly calming you. “It’s alright. I got you.”

You couldn’t help it that you were practically clinging to him like a life line. He radiated safety and comfort in way that nothing else did. Resting your forehead against his shoulder, you inhaled. He still smelled like cheap motel soap and something distinctly himself. It was calming. You almost didn’t notice that one of his hands had gone to cradle the back of your head, or that his cheek was pressed to your temple. he was just that gentle.

Dean Winchester. Both soft as cotton and tough as nails. That was one of the reasons why he was so dear to you. . . Along with everything else that made him him.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Y/N. I’ll always be here if you need me.” He muttered, pulling back just enough to press a kiss to your head.

“You can go to bed. I’ll be fine on my own.”

“Yeah, that’s not happening.” He gave you a soft grin as he toed off his shoes, taking up the empty portion of your bed, and hooking his arm around you, pulling you close. “I ain’t leavin you. Not now. Not ever. Sometimes even the monster hunter needs to feel safe.”

You should have resisted. Told the stubborn man to go back to his own room and leave this all in the past. . . But he felt so safe and warm. He was like a magnet and all you could do was let him pull you in, securing you in his hold.

“Also, just so you know- whenever I get a nightmare I’m coming and crawling into your bed.” Dean mused, nuzzling into your shoulder. “You just signed a contract.”

and that is exactly what happened. Because for almost every night after the first, You and Dean helped fend off each others nightmares. When you woke up frozen in fear, Dean was there besides you reminding you that you were safe until eventually the shadows slipped away. As for Dean, only reality was the woman held fast in his arms.

End.

Taglist:

@familybusinesswritingbro​​​​​​@a–1–1–3 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​ @music-is-all-i-need @agusdoti​​​​​​ @callmekda​​​​​​ @jordangdelacruz​​​​​​ @orphiceseum​​​​​​ @andthatsmyworld​​​​​​ @marvelfangirllll​​​​​​ @fandomnerdespressourself​​​​​​ @gladiosamicitias​​​​​​ @castielsangelsx​​​​​​ @lxstgxrl-ck​​​​​​ @tis-i-the-wayward-idgit​​​​​​ @amendoise​​​​​​ @phoenixuprisingsstuff​​​​​​ @ericalynne007​ @kaitlaitlaitl​​​​​​ @neerness​​​​​​ @totallyluciferr​​​​​​ @supernaturalenchanted​​​​​​​ @dolanfivsosxox​​​​​@supernatural-ocs @emptycanvasposts​​ @akshi8278​ @defenderrosetyler​​ @heyyy-hey-babyyy​

[sdottkrames]

I Know My Sister Like I Know My Own Mind

@comfortember Prompt 5: Cuddles

Summary: Penny Parker is sick, and when she is sick, she needs cuddles

Notes:  I have fallen in LOVE with Penny Parker, especially her as Peter’s twin. I always wanted a twin, so I definitely live vicariously through fanfics. Drop some Peter&Penny twin recs for me. I will love you forever if you do!

Read on AO3: Here

It was a bad day.

It had technically been a bad week, but Penny had been trying so hard to ignore it. It was her last group of exams before finals next month, and she couldn’t afford to get sick. She had an exam in Calculus, AP US History, and AP Lit, plus a huge project due in Chemistry, and two essays.

Her teachers were trying to kill her, obviously, and the worst part? It was working. Penny woke up that morning feeling like she was dying. 

At least I got through this week from hell. Only one day left. She thought, and rolled out of bed, nearly crying as her feet hit the cold floor. Literally everything hurt, and she just wanted to get back in bed with her aunt to be snuggled and coddled by her until she fell asleep.

Penny was especially clingy when she was sick. Even without the spider powers, her ability to stick to anybody who was willing to cuddle could rival Peter’s. They’d definitely overwhelmed their aunt one winter after both getting sick. May hadn’t been able to leave the apartment for three days.

But, alas, the snuggling would have to wait. May had to work early that morning and would be back late, and Penny had one last test to take. Stupid AP Lit.

Penny forced her aching arms into her comfiest, warmest shirt, and headed to the kitchen to force some breakfast down her burning throat. Peter looked up from his bowl of cereal and concern immediately washed over his face.

“You’re wearing your ‘sick shirt,’” he said, and Penny looked down at the oversized, light pink shirt she was wearing. “You always wear that one when you’re not feeling good,” Peter explained. He abandoned his Lucky Charms to feel Penny’s forehead. “You’re definitely a little warm, Pen. You should stay home.”

Penny was shaking her head before he finished. “No. I’m fine. I have one last exam in AP Lit, and you know Mr. Gardner doesn’t do make ups.” Peter made a face. He did know. They both despised the man’s rigidity and often talked about it at length. “It’s Friday, anyway. I’ll take a nap after school.”

He looked at her skeptically before sighing. “Okay. But we’re coming right back home and watching a movie. No homework, no Spider-Man. Just cuddles and tv.”

“That sounds perfect.” It took all of Penny’s self control not to whimper. She wanted to ask him to snuggle with her right then, forget school. But she took a breath, forced back the tears threatening to fall (she was also very emotional when she was sick), and went to grab the instant oatmeal. 

After breakfast, the twins made their way to school. Peter chatted the whole way, obviously trying to distract his miserable sister, and silently cheered when he was able to earn a few small smiles. 

The promise of cuddles and an evening being taken care of by her brother carried Penny through the day. She nearly lost control of the dam holding her tears when Flash, who always extended his taunting to both Parkers, made some stupid comment. 

But MJ came back with a snappy response and took Penny’s hand. Penny shot her a grateful smile, so glad that her brother’s girlfriend liked her so well, and was able to make it through the day. She was even fairly confident about the test, though she honestly didn’t care all that much about what she got on it at this point. She was just happy to be done.

Finally, finally the last bell rang, and Penny had to restrain herself from cheering. She and Peter walked home, and as soon as they opened the door, Penny was in her room, changing into her comfiest pajamas. Trailing a blanket behind her, she made her way to the couch, where Peter was already set up, his arm extended out for her to snuggle under.

The relief was instantaneous. She burrowed into his side, shivering in delight. Peter chuckled.

“What movie would you like, honorary spider?”

Penny giggled. The last time Peter and Penny had hung out with Black Widow, Nat had insisted they be the spider trio. When Penny had pointed out that she had no Spider qualities, the other two had brushed it off, saying she was an honorary spider. Very prestigious, indeed.

“Uh, I think I’m in the mood for Episode IV. I need a comfort movie.”

Peter pulled up A New Hope, and ran his hand through his sister’s hair, gently raking out each curl. Soon, Penny’s head was feeling exceptionally heavy, and she laid it down onto Peter’s shoulder. Her breathing evened out, and then she was blissfully asleep.

***

When Penny woke up, the first thing she was conscious of was the darkness. She’d obviously been asleep for a number of hours. The second thing was pain. Her head, her throat, her eyes. Everything was on fire. The last thing she realized was that she was alone.

“Peter,” she croaked out, her throat chafing. She tried again, putting some more volume into the word. “Peter!”

She was about to panic, but then she saw the note. 

Penny,

You were completely out, and I got a S-M emergency alert. I’ll be back in just a few hours. If you wake up before I get home, I’m sorry. I’ll get back as soon as I can. There’s some Motrin and water on the table for you. 

Love you.

Peter

Suddenly, Penny was crying. She couldn’t help it. She was sick, she was hurting, and she was alone. She didn’t blame Peter for leaving, but she just wanted him back. Needed him back. The tears wouldn’t stop, which just made her headache worse, which just made her cry more. It was a ridiculous, vicious cycle. 

Her fevered, mushy brain tried to grasp hold of someone, anyone, who might be able to fulfill the need to be snuggled, cause her blanket and pillow weren’t cutting it. She grabbed her phone and clicked on the first number that came to mind. It rang twice before-

“Hey, sweetheart! How’re you doing?” Tony's voice rang out from the other end of the phone. Penny opened her mouth, but only a sob came out. “Penny. What’s wrong?” He asked sharply, and she heard him suiting up already.

“Don’t feel good,” she managed to get out, her chest continuing to heave. “P-Peter’s on patrol and May’s w-working.”

“Oh, piccina,” he said, sympathy replacing the panic in his voice. “You at home?”

“Yeah. It’s d-dark.”

“I’m on my way. I’ll stay on the line.”

Tony’s voice held the dark at bay until he was knocking on the door. Penny forced herself up to let him in, and Tony was out of his suit and hugging her to his chest as soon as the door was open. He scooped her up, brought her back to the couch, and held her as her sobs and shivers slowly subsided.

“Sorry. I just, I fell asleep snuggling with Peter and when I woke up he was, he was gone.”

“And let me guess. You’re just as clingy as he is when you’re sick?” Tony asked, chuckling slightly. Penny nodded, then smiled as he wrapped the blanket around her and pulled her into his side. “Well, I’m not going anywhere. I’m glad you called me, sweetheart.”

“Thanks,” Penny whispered, her body aching but the need for comfort and contact had finally subsided, making it manageable. 

After a little while, Tony started to move, making Penny whine.

“You need food, piccina. I’m just going to go get you some toast and cocoa.” Penny pouted, but let go of the arm she’d held hostage to keep him there. 

Tony returned shortly with the promised food and some medicine, and Penny gratefully took it all. Once her belly was slightly filled and the medicine took the edge off the ache in her body, she started dozing off again, snuggled tight into Tony’s side.

Penny was just starting to dream about swinging through New York when a noise jolted her awake and made both her and Tony jump three feet into the air.

“Peter,” she gasped, a hand tight to her chest.

“You nearly gave us a heart attack, kid,” Tony complained.

“Sorry,” Peter said, but his grin negated the apology and Penny rolled her eyes at him. “What are you doing here, Mr. Stark?” 

“Well, Ms. Spider here woke up and you were gone, and apparently she’s just as sticky as you are when she’s sick. So I came to fill in.” 

Peter tapped the spider emblem and his suit fell away. He threw it over a chair, and then squished himself onto the couch on the other side of Tony.

“I gotta get in on the cuddle action!” 

“Geez, you two are a pair,” Tony griped playfully, and then yelped as Peter dug an elbow into his side in retaliation. “Watch it, underoos.”

“Oh, you love me,” Peter giggled, and Tony simply wrapped his arms around his kids in response, pulling them closer.

Eventually, they decided to order soup and watch Episode V, and soon Tony was trapped between two sleeping, snoring spider babies. (He’ll never admit that he took about 27 photos and texted both Pepper and Rhodey to gush about their cuteness.)

May came home just as the movie was ending, and he looked up, hopeful that she would help him get out of his predicament. As much as he loved being snuggled up with the Parker twins (gosh, he really was going soft) he couldn’t feel his arm and really needed to stretch his leg. But May took one look, snapped a picture, and laughed.

“Nope. Sorry. You won’t be leaving for another two days. Get comfortable,” she said, heading into the kitchen.

“That’s not funny, May,” he called. “MAY!”

All he got in response was a laugh.

[lenniewip]

Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)

11.09 PM Unknown Number

>I’m writing songs about you again.

11.20 PM Unknown Number

>its stiles btw.

>in case you deleted my number

>I did.

>I mean I deleted yours.

>but I still remember it apparently

11:41 PM Unknown Number

>I only have 2 lines so far

11:57 PM Unknown Number

>I bleed you from my veins.

>I grieve you like I love you.

>alone.

>its better with the chords.

>u were always better at writing lyrics than me

12:34 AM Unknown Number

>u were better everything than me

2:00 AM Unknown Number

>I hate that I miss you

2:07 AM Unknown Number

>do u want to hook up?

>I promise not to propose again

2:15 AM Unknown Number

>im sorry.

>ignore me.

>im drinking

Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.

What the hell is a Stiles?

2:17 AM Unknown Number

<I think you have the wrong number

>Lydia?

<no

>oh thank fuck

>I mean

>I’m sorry

>for disturbing ur sleep

>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this

>bullet dodged right?

>is this what near death experiences feel like?

<I wouldn’t know.

>of course

>hey

>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?

>all my friends are asleep

<probably because its 3am

<everyone’s asleep

>2.39

>and ur not

>asleep that is

>so?

>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead

>what do you think?

>of the lyrics

<im the wrong person to ask

>never experienced heartbreak?

<no

<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me

>oh

>yeah I guess it does

>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?

<do you want to be rupi kaur?

>sure

>not to be dramatic or anything

>but

>I want to be anyone but me

>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho

<regina spektor?

>singer/song writer

>shes my fucking inspiration

>her lyrics are like poetry to me

>you should listen to her music

<I dont really listen to music

>what the fuck?

>are you an alien?

<no?

>nice fucking try ET

>thats exactly what an alien would say

<…you got me there

>akdjfen

>is this you admitting I was right?

<no

<but this is me going to bed

<because its now 4AM

>already?

>fuck

>ive got an early start tomorrow

>good night random stranger

>and thanks

>for listening

>or reading ig

<good night

//

“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.

“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.

Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.

“Didn’t sleep well.”

Derek hated the look she gave him then.

The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.

“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.

“No.”

An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.

Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.

But this was enough.

It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.

//

2:40 PM Laura

>I’m here if you need to talk.

//

Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.

So instead he doodles.

Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.

Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.

But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.

//

10:18 PM Unknown Number

>I don’t remember it anymore

<You have the wrong number again

>No

>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?

<right

>So here’s the thing.

>I always thought if I needed to text her I could

>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk

>But I can’t remember it anymore

<Oh.

>I have some of her things still

>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now

>Unless she messages me first

<When did you two break up?

>Last year

>and I know what you’re thinking

>’it’s October’

>and I should be over her by now

>Trust me I know

>So you don’t need to lecture me

<I wasn’t going to

>Oh

<Stiles?

>That’s weird

<what is?

>I forgot I told you my name

<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.

>you’re right

>I don’t like it.

>but you’re right

>…thanks

<What for?

>for listening

>reading**

>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain

>so this is nice

<sure

<anytime

>dope

>no take backsies

<am I going to regret this?

>for definite

>you’re stuck with me now

//

That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.

//

Stiles keeps messaging after that.

Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.

Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.

He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.

//

Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.

He’s not above admitting he’s scared.

//

Derek draws Stiles sometimes.

More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.

Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.

The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.

//

They don’t always talk about Lydia.

Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.

Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.

Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.

Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.

And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.

//

2:02 AM Bad Poet

>sometimes I feel like too much

>and too little

>at the same time

>u ever feel like that ET?

<not really

>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless

>like a never ending echo

>or a recurring decimal

>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it

>I have no depth

<youre not meaningless

<you’re a rhythm.

<like breathing

>…

>was that a regina spektor reference?

<it might have been

>I thought you didn’t listen to music?

<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry

<so I thought I would check out a few songs

>well fuck

>what did you think?

<she’s good

>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong

<I still prefer poetry

>of course you do

Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.

Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.

//

10:30AM Bad Poet

<my sister bought me flower seeds

>I didn’t know you had a sister?

<she’s everything I have

>oh

<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow

>…with flower seeds?

<yes

>you sound extremely paranoid

>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?

<shut up

>noted.

>keep me posted on how your gardening goes

>also

>as a side note

>you know you have me too right?

>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you

<thanks

>anytime

//

On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.

She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.

Once their family had been so alive.

And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.

They both knew it.

Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.

He was too scared to ask.

//

That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.

And then several more followed.

//

1:14 AM Bad Poet

<seh haars me

>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again

>try spell checking before hitting send

<she.hates mee

>who?

<larn

>are you drunk?

<yeh

<tyongs ndrf

*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*

The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.

“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”

“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”

“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”

“Laura.”

“Who’s Laura?”

“My sister.”

“Oh.”

“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”

“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”

“She should. I can’t be fixed.”

“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”

Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.

“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”

Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.

“What?”

“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”

“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”

Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”

“Th-thanks.”

Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.

Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.

“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”

“Yeah.” Derek agrees.

“Goodnight bud.”

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.

I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.

“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.

“Stiles?”

Stiles hummed in answer.

“Your shape is beautiful too.”

A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”

//

7:50 AM Bad Poet

>how are you feeling today?

<better

>good <3

Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.

He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.

But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.

Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.

But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.

//

Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.

//

9:48 PM Bad Poet

>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?

>don’t feel like you need to say yes

>I just enjoyed talking to you

>and hearing your voice

>ugh.

>why are words so hard?

<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call

*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*

“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.

“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.

Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”

“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.

“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”

“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.

“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”

Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.

“It’s Derek.”

“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.

And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.

//

Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.

//

The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.

The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.

6:42 AM Bad Poet

>you need to talk to your sister

And Derek knows he’s right.

//

It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.

But he forces himself to take the dive.

“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.

Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”

“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.

If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.

If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…

There never would have been a fire.

Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.

“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”

“I might as well have.”

“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”

The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.

He found himself crying to.

“I’m so sorry, Der.”

Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.

They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.

//

He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.

He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.

“Hello?”

“No - Derek’s asleep.”

“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”

“Who is this?”

“Your voice sounds familiar.”

“Right.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Derek let sleep over take him once more.

//

2:29 AM Bad Poet

>sorry for calling so late

>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow

//

9:07 AM Bad Poet

<sorry, I was really tried

>no worries man

>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me

<was something wrong?

>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten

>im fine

>how are you?

<im good actually

<I spoke to Laura

>yeah?

>I’m proud of you

>how’d that go?

<we both cried

<a lot

<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch

>look at you, opening up and shit.

>think I might cry now

<shut up

>literally never

>better men have tried and failed to silence me

//

2:40 PM Laura

>Want to see a movie on Friday?

<sure

//

One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.

“Duhreek.”

“Doreck.”

“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”

“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.

“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.

Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.

“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.

He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.

“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”

//

Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.

//

He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.

He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.

He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.

He wants.

//

1:58 AM Bad Poet

>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?

>maybe not intentionally

>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know

>maybe we already have

Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.

<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?

<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you

>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)

<I think id still know

<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?

<of me

>dkfajd

>for reals?

>you would do that?

>you?

<well…not for free

>there’s always a catch

>what do you want?

>my soul?

>a blood debt?

>you can have whatever it is

<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too

<geez stiles

The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.

>I could do that

>a photo for a photo

>I kind of look like shit rn

>so no judging me

Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.

And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.

But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.

He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.

As he pressed send another photo came in.

Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.

His heart stopped.

Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.

But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.

>Fucking hell

>are you for real?

>you gave me a heart attack

>am I being catfished right now?

>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?

>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?

>Derek

>oh my god

>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit

>still there?

>did my selfie scare you away?

>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis

>Derek?

<still here

>of thank fuck

>so…

<so?

>come on

>your going to give me a complex

>the selfie…was it okay?

>I know it’s not much

>but we can’t all be greek gods

<its beautiful

<you’re beautiful, stiles

>oh

>thanks

//

Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.

//

9:49 AM Bad Poet

<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend

<this is all your fault

>how is this my fault?

<because she never wanted to introduce us before

<and then you got me to talk to my sister

<and now she wants me to meet him

>…and this is a bad thing?

<yes

>because?

<I don’t make good first impressions

<it’s going to be awkward

>yeah probably

<you’re not helpful

>I wasn’t trying to be ;)

>have fun, Derek!

//

Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.

Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.

But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.

Maybe not all change was bad.

//

Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.

“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”

“I know.”

God did Derek ever know.

But Stiles is different.

“Just…be careful.”

“I am being. I promise.”

Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”

“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”

“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”

Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.

//

Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.

‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.

A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.

//

It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.

She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.

“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.

“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.

“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.

It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.

Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”

Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.

No.

She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…

“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”

“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.

“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”

Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.

“It’s him.” He manages to get out.

“What are you talking about?”

“Laura. It’s him.”

It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.

“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”

“What?”

“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”

And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…

The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.

And it all falls apart.

//

It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.

11:08 PM Bad Poet

<you’re stiles stilinki

>fuck

(And yeah, it was really him).

>how did you find out?

<Laura

>I was going to tell you

<Were you?

>Yes

>I’ve wanted to for ages

>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up

<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner

>Me too

>I’m sorry

>Please don’t hate me

Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.

<I don’t

>Thank fuck

>seriously

>can I call you?

<sure

Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.

“Hey.”

“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.

“I believe you, Stiles.”

“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”

“Stiles.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.

“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.

“What?”

“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”

“Stiles…”

“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”

Derek feels his heart break in two.

“Stiles…I can’t.”

“Oh.”

He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.

“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.

“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”

I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.

There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.

It was better for him to just… fall out of love.

//

6:17AM Laura

<it’s really him

>are you sure

<I’m sure

>what are you going to do?

<nothing

>Derek you’re in love with him

<I’m aware

<it doesn’t matter

<it wouldn’t ever work

>I’m sorry

<don’t be

<I’m going to be fine

>Im coming over with wine

//

That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.

When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.

//

He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.

Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.

He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.

//

He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.

It’s still not enough.

//

1:11 PM Bad Poet

>I wrote you a song

>I know you don’t listen to music

>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link

>bad poetry at 2:00am

The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.

“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”

The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.

When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.

He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.

//

3:00 PM Laura

>have you seen the video?

<he sent me a link

<he wrote a song for me Laura

<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me

>fuck

<what do I do?

>what do you want to do?

<I don’t know

>I think you should look at his twitter

<?

>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him

>but I think you need to see it

>@stilesstilinki

//

@stilesstilinski

I want to hug him

@stilesstilinski

Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything

@stilesstilinski

Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.

@stilesstilinski

He makes me want to write poetry

Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.

He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.

And Derek falls impossibly more in love.

He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.

And everything else?

It’s worth it.

Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.

//

2:00 AM Bad Poet

<so I looked at your twitter

>fuck.

>how much did you see?

<all of it

>tight

>please excuse me while I go die now

>bye

<don’t leave yet

<I had something I wanted to ask you

>did you want me to delete the tweets?

>I can do that

>I’ll just delete the whole account

>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem

>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy

>but I’m a close second

<stiles?

>yup?

<Will you go on a date with me?

>alkdjf

>yes?

>Ofc yes?

>are you being serious?

>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious

<I’m serious

>yes.

>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.

>holy shit

>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you

>im so fucking in love with you

>is it too soon to say that?

>I don’t even care

>I’m speaking my truth

>you obviously don’t have to say it back

>im going to woo you so hard Derek

>you’ll have to love me back eventually

>I’m going to write you poetry

>hell I’ll even read poetry for you

>ill give the whole fucking moon to you

<why would I want the moon?

<im not gru?

>despicable me

>that was a despicable me reference.

>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?

>you’re such an enigma to me Derek

>god I love you so much

<stiles?

>too much?

<no

<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you

<I love you too stiles

<so much

<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up

<I might not be able to live up to it in real life

>impossible

<seriously stiles

>I am being serious

>I’m already in love with you Der

>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done

>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all

>and I would still be in love with you

>all you have to do now is show up

<…I can do that

>perfect

//

TWO YEARS LATER

@stilesstilinski

Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.

[propertyofwicked]

Could you do an a-z for dating dean please? I loved tom’s! 😍

i really enjoy writing these :) ive got a george one requested so i will be doing that later. hope you enjoy this one anon :)

a - argue

like the mature adults you guys are, any argument results in silent treatment till one of you realises your fault and apologises. sometimes it takes other people to point out your mistakes, but in the end you would talk it out, make compromises and understand your differences. a little goes along way with you and dean.

b - body (his favourite body part of yours)

dean likes your hands. he likes how they move to cup his face when you kiss, he likes how your fingers move effortlessly across your keyboard when you’re typing, he likes how they wrap around things ;) he likes how they fit perfectly in his and he likes how they run over the surface of his back.

c - care (caring for each other when you’re sick)

you both spend a lot of time away from each other, as he is away filming a lot and you are at uni or doing coursework. when you do get to spend time together and it happens that someone is ill, you’re still going to spend as much time together as physically possible. you’ll spend the day in bed, wrapped up warm. If you’re ill, dean wants to treat you like a queen. under no circumstances are you to leave the bed, unless it’s for the toilet, and even then, he keeps an eye on you to make sure you don’t pass out on the way. he’ll cook you food and bring you painkillers as often as needed. when he’s ill, you’ll do mostly the same, perhaps try and move him to the sofa or go for a walk for some fresh air.

d - dates (what do you guys do?)

to the start of your relationship, dean preferred to take you on high key fancy restaurants, but once you were comfortable settled together you’d go on cafe dates in-between lectures or just stay home and watch movies with some takeaway food.

e - engagements (how he proposed) 

dean had taken you to venice for your birthday, and spent the entire week spoiling you,as he usually would much to your protests. on the last night before you flew home, you went for dinner and on the way home, he took you to a cute little bridge, tucked away from the main town. whilst you were distracted by the stars appearing in the orange sky, he got down on one near and called out your name to gain your attention.

f - friends and family (do they like you/him?)

his parents loved you. his mum and you often cooked together whenever you visited for dinner, or you and his dad would talk about politics or the football. His little sister liked having a female around that was closer to her age, you were more of her friend than her sister-in-law. your parents liked dean, he was the most respectable boy you’d ever dated and they could see how happy he made you. out of each of your friendship groups, you both were the longest to be single, so your friends were just happy to see you not crying over some failed fling.

g - gifts

as dean was away for filming a lot, he often wanted to remind you of how much he loved you by getting flowers delivered to your house and when he was done filming, he’d sometimes brought back bits of set or props that he thought you would like. being a broke student meant that sometimes the only gift you could send would be some lovely photos specially for him ;)

h - how you met

often, your uni would use it’s rooms to host interviews for press tours, or q&a halls. the uni offered pay for a group of people to set up the rooms and pack up at the end so you volunteered. tt was here you ran into george and dean as it was a 1917 q&a. they were lost so you helped direct them to the room they needed to be in. dean actively stalked you down after the interview and asked if you’d want to go for coffee with him and you hit it off from there.

i - intimacy (how often are yall getting down)

whenever, wherever. he’s down. the amount of time you spend apart just builds up your need to be together, so you grasp at any chance you can to be physically intimate with one another. it’s when you’re bored of a tv program, or he’s wearing a suit, you get the gist.

j - jealousy

you get fairly jealous as dean works around and with a lot of people you believe to be better, prettier, that yourself. as much as dean reassures you, you can’t help yourself from wondering if he’d ever leave you for one of the actress he work with. dean doesn’t tend to be massively jealous, but the more time he spends away from you, the more jealous he gets. he fears that you will find someone who can be in your life more permanently and physically than he can.

k - kinks

dean likes edging/control. he loves to see you struggle to contain your release until he says so, and he loves to take you beyond the point of pleasure till you’re literally begging to cum.

l - long distance

with dean working away so much, long distance gets hard. Sometimes he manages to come home for the weekend, but he could be gone for 3 months at a time. every night, you facetime or call each other whilst just going about your daily routine together, as if he was there. just hearing each others voices daily was enough to keep you going till you saw each other again.

m - moving in

there was never really a point where you moved in with him. your stuff just started manifesting it’s way into his house, to the extent you’d spend ages searching your room for it only to realise you’d left it at dean’s. once you were going into your second year at university, you’d been with dean for almost a year and he just kind of suggested that you live with him to avoiding massive bills for uni halls, but everyone knew it was a ploy to be able to spend more time with you.

n - nights out

as a student, nights out were key to social engagements. so, your group of uni friends and their partners would head out to a local pub and spend the evening chatting drinking or playing darts. you’d both stumble home at the early hours and wake up several hours later with a pounding hangover.

o - open with each other

whilst he was away, it was hard to be fully open with each other, knowing that anything bothering you would just upset each other further as you couldn’t be with each other at the time. once he was home, however, it was easy to spend hours wrapped up together talking about anything that was on your mind.

p - pda

neither of you are particularly into massive displays due to the public eye being on you more often than not, but a simple hand hold or peck didn’t go amiss. dean preferred to save all of his affection for home, where he could properly show you how much you meant to him.

q - questions (what you talk about late at night?)

let’s be honest, you would go into any massively deep conversation it’d be more along the lines of “how was your day? what did you do?  did I ever tell you about the time that...” but it was the small moment s like that that counted.

r - reproduction (do you want kids?)

not at this point in time, as it is the start of your careers and you’re both pretty young but you had discussed it a little. if it was to happen by surprise, you’d both embrace it but one day down the line you fully plan to have atleast a child if not more.

s - surprising (what surprised you about him)

the simplicity of his happiness. it doesn’t take much to make dean smile, or let out a little laugh but every time he did you feel a surge of happiness rush through yourself. to see him happy made you happy, so you’d strive to do that as much as humanly possible.

t - together (what you do together)

you guys like watching movies, which isnt surprising given the nature of deans job. you also like to spend quite a lot of time in the bedroom ;)

u - under the influence (drunk vibes)

it was rather common that you’d be out separately, you out with uni mates or him with co stars. drunk calls were the best, both of you becoming the funniest people alive whilst intoxicated. when he chose to stay home and you’d make you way back, fumbling to get the keys in the lock subsequently waking him up, he’d come to you and put you in bed. he’d make sure there was a glass of water and painkillers and a bowl near your head. you’d do the same, but drunk dean is flirty dean and whilst you were trying to change him into sleepable clothing, he’d make comments like “at least by me dinner first”

v - vacations

a lot of your holidays were spent on set with him, but sometimes you’d go abroad to malta or somewhere remote. you preferred quiet, adventure holidays than expensive beach holidays.

w - wedding

you had the cutest wedding ever. it was in this converted barn, with both your families and friends attending and the reception was basically a massive party in very fitting taste for you and dean.

x - xray (when he’s hurt)

dean injured himself on set of 1917, where he slipped down a trench and twisted his ankle fairly bad. because of it, he was sent home for two weeks to recuperate, where you literally tended to his every need. you brought him food, drink, medication and care to the point where he literally had to make you spend time on your other work rather than him for some time. normally it would just end in you falling asleep, cuddling on the sofa, in your living room.

y - you (a random headcanon) 

you’d had a long and bad day at uni, so you came home stressed out of your mind, muscled tensed and a pounding headache. the moment you stepped foot into the flat, you bag dropped to the floor and shoes kicked to the side, you walked into the living room where dean looked up at you and sent you a small smile. he noticed the fatigue in your eyes and posture, moving to pat his lap for you to sit on. You found your way onto his lap, legs wrapping around his waist as he moved to lay down. you hands moved under his back to hold him properly and one of his arms snaked around your waist, the other moving to brush a hand through your hair. his head lifted up slightly to press a kiss onto the top of your head.

“bad day?”

“very. but it’s slightly better now.”

“you’re very welcome babygirl”

z - zzzzzzzzzzzz’s (sleeping routine)

dean would be in bed before you every night without fail as you’d be sat doing coursework till late. but he always stayed awake till you made your way into the room and held out his arms for you to climb into and rest your head on his chest. his hands would go straight to your hair and brush through them softly, lulling you into a deep sleep that he too would fall into soon after you.

[wongiemei]

Roommate!Jeno

a/n: maybe i should just turn this blog into an nct dream one

okay

letsgetit!

first of all,

story time!

your uni is fucking expensive and it’s more expensive if you live in the grounds

so you being the wise human,

you went to get an apartment near the campus

it was great and all since roommate!jaemin was paying for his stuff

you were both living respectively until he had to leave

the dumbass didnt even bother to tell you

one morning you just woke up and found his note

‘hey bitch! figured you were too much of a rock to wake up but i moved out! the family wants me to go back home and tend the restaurant’

the whole day yesterday, you were working

bc,,, yknow

broke college life

and you just walked in half asleep towards your room and fell asleep

so you didnt really see or notice

but were you freaking out bc your roommate suddenly moved out?

ofc you were freaking out

not only was your roommate gone,

how were you going to find a new one?!

jaemin expected your phone call that afternoon and he endured through all your screaming

‘babe, i’m just going to be gone for a year-or two’

‘oR tWO?!’

‘hun, my dad’s injured and his back can only let him do so much. ma’s working too much and i dont have any siblings to help. i figured i could just hold off college until my parents are ready’

ugh, jaemin is such a family boy

‘but jaems! you couldnt have at least told me that yOu wERe mOvING OuT?! and! rent is due soon! i can’t pay for that myself!’

jaemin couldve easily told you to warn yoy

but he didn’t want to tell you bc he couldnt handle you sad and didnt want to upset you

however, now jaemin really understands how shitty that move was

‘tell you what. i’ll pay for this month and make a few phone calls and i’ll get you set up with a new roommate, deal?’

knowing how much of a social butterfly he was, you agreed

ofc you trusted jaemin but part of you feared that he might pair you up with a freak

but he’s not that mean, is he?

you can definitely see renjun doing that but not jaemin

so there you are,,

sitting on your couch alone

without jaemin, your apartment felt really empty

its been a few days since he moved and you were miserable

jaemin hasn’t even texted you about that potential roommate

just as you were about to call him,,

your doorbell rang

you froze and you looked at the time

it was nearing 11 at night and you don’t remember ordering delivery

see,,

if jaemin was here,

he would answer it for you since you would be too scared to do it

but you mustered up your courage and peeped through the peep hole

the man was dressed in all black with a black mask and a black cap with his hood over it with a black hoodie and black pants

ngl, you were terrified and trembling

he rang it again and you jumped

typing out a quick text to jaemin saying ‘hey bub, if i don’t text you in an hour, that means ive been kidnapped so call the police’

you grabbed a pan from the cupboard and gulped before you opened the door

thinking he would just walk forward and grab you, you closed your eyes and raised your pan over your head and swung

a shriek from in front of you made your eyes snap open and found the guy on the floor with a fetal position

you both just froze for like a phat minute

snapping back to reality, you held the pan in front of you

‘if youre going to kidnap me, i got a pan and im not afraid to hit you with it!’

you tried to sound intimidating but your voice was shaking so much

the guy stood up and he took off his hat and the mask to reveal a blonde haired kid

okay, so you were sHOokETh

damn! this boy is fine!

he gave you a shaky smile and held out his hand

‘hi! i’m lee jeno! you must be y/n? jaemin told me you had an opening for a roommate?’

now you noticed the two duffle bags at the side

the embaressment and the shame settled in slowly and you found yourself burning up

nodding, you motioned him to come in

jeno awkwardly walked in and was amazed at how big the layout was with the low rent

‘yea, its kinda hard to believe that we only pay that much. at first i thought there was a ghost in here and that’s why its so cheap’

you tried to make small conversation but laughed weirdly at jeno’s slightly terrified face

‘no! there really is not ghost here! ive lived here for a year and there hasnt been anything so please dont understand! please be my roommate!’

you begged and jeno thought you were weird

but jaemin was right, you were weirdly adorable in a way

so that’s how you and jeno became apartment buddies!

now onto the good stuff!

so, jeno is a vv clean guy

like he’s the type to just pick up a wrapper in the street and throw it in the garbage

so naturally, he likes to keep the apartment as tidy and neat as possible

but you being a mess you are,

you usually leave a lot of things everywhere

lets just say you have a short memory

‘oh? how did that get there?’

eventually, jeno gets sick of it and he confronts you with it

ofc you understand and you actually try to be better

since jeno is literally the most perfect roommate

maybe even better than jaemin

(but don’t tell him that)

jeno is the type to re-stock the pantry with snacks and the fridge with ice cream

since youre both college students, ramen is practically always available in the house 24/7

he also makes the coffee every morning since he works early and wakes up first

even though he doesn’t like the drink and prefers milk, he still notices how you survive off of coffee

babie likes to pick you up some iced americano while he gets a frappe

you on the other hand,,

you’re very surprised

when you got to bed after showing jeno around,

you messaged jaemin

ofc he was worried af and was blowing up your phone

‘WHAT?!’

‘bitch answer the damn phone!’

‘whatthe fuck is happening?!’

‘i need to know if you’re still alive!’

‘oh fuck i shouldnt have moved out’

smiling softly at how worried he was, you responded to him

‘you hoe, it hasnt been an hour yet so chillax. i’m alive, unfortunately, and i just met my new roommate. again, thanks for the heads-up. youre so bad at those. i literally thought he was a burgular or a kidnapper. but he seems chill and emo. just my type.’

but jeno is F A R from C H I L L

oh my goodness,,

hes a crackhead

theres this sound he makes when he’s confused and you couldnt figure out if its cute or weird or if he’s doing this on purpose or thats just how he is

you and him basically communicate with memes

sometimes, at the weird hours at night, he sends you a dumbass meme

you cant help but snort 

also, you promised to take jaemin out to dinner to repay him for the great roommate

‘hes literally one of the best people youll ever meet. it just so happen he needed a place to sleep. now you owe me’

hes a science major while you were a computer major

he basically brings home weird stuff to analyze and it just hella stinks

but hes considerate enough to actually put it outside

whenever he’s focused, he talks to himself or the thing he’s analyzing

‘okay mr. fishy. your scales are really big and its bigger than average’

its so cute

oof also!

jeno doesnt have a job yet he always makes rent on time with extra money to spare

he even sometimes buys you stuff saying, ‘they reminded me of you’

for your birthday, he bought you a pearl necklace that mustve costed thousands

at first, you thought he was a chaebol or smth

which you wouldve been vv jealous of bc youre a struggling college student who works at the coffee shop

but, you were answered when you caught him walking in half-dazed and half-asleep with cuts all over his face

it was like 2 in the morning and you were pulling an all-nighter for some project and wanted to get a glass of water

but here he is, hood up, lip busted, black eye, cheek cut

you shrieked and ushered him to sit on the dining chair

thinking he got mugged or something, you start drilling him questions

‘hun, if you were beat up, we need to call the police! this is illegal!’

but jeno chuckles and brushes the stray hairs out of your face as you tend to his lip

‘pls dont. if you do, ill be broke and i wont have money to pay rent then i cant be your roommate anymore’

cue confused y/n

‘wUT?’

‘if i dont make money, youll kick me out and youll have to find another roommate. i dont want you to go through that hassle again’

ofc you were flattered that even during this situation, hes still thinking about you

‘how is this making money?!’

‘i cant believe youre oblivious to so many things. i thought for sure youve caught on.’

more confusion

‘eXCUse mE, lEE JEno? since when have you started coming home with all these things in your face?’

you were worried that this wasnt the first time this happened

but if you think hard about it, thats why he always wears his mouth masks and he always has his blonde fringe down and sometimes wears sunglasses even though its cloudy outside

‘ohmygod lee jeno are you in a gang?!’

jeno was shocked that you came to that conclusion but laughed at how adorable you were rn

with your wide eyes and mouth open

‘nah, bro. i box. its the only way i can make easy money.’

‘but,,, why did you hide this from me? if you needed money i couldve helped you’

he looked at you skeptically

‘sis, you could barely afford that muffin the other day’

lee jeno now looked different from the jeno you met the first day

What you thought to be an innocent little squish was a fighter at night

‘yah, can-um-you need to take this off’

you mumbled while tugging on his sweatshirt

he nodded and slipped it off

he explained why he came late when he first moved

‘i had a late night match and yknow,, school and all, i barely had enough time to come'

as you dab the wound, you try to make small talk to distract yourself

 ‘so,, youve been boxing this whole time?’

you asked, trying not to get distracted to the way his tight shirt clung to him, showing his defined body

there were bruises up and down his arms and his knuckles were busted

‘yea. i have been since senior high. gotta make money, yknow?’

‘but jen, you can work in coffee shops or at local bookstores. its not worth seeing you busted up like this’

your lips trembled at the thought of him being beaten up too hard to the point he gets into a coma

jenos eyes widened at your wobbling lips and he softly cupped your face

‘hey, im okay and ill be fine. you dont have to worry about me. i usually win, anyways’

his confidence made you chuckle

‘i trust you, lee jeno. just make sure to make it home to me every night.’

‘i know you do and i will. always.”

ever since then,

youve become his little caretaker

youve informed jaemin of what hes been doing and he knew but didnt want you to judge him immediately

smh, jaemin really sucks at informing people

but jeno tries to help you keep up

he even sends you texts that hes fighting that night and your little ‘fighting!’ always makes him smile

his manager and friend, chenle, noticed that hes starting to smile more

chenle likes boxing and wants to be a part of it but doesnt want to be hurt

so,, what better to be the manager of his friend

‘yah, hyung. what’s got you giggly today?’

jeno pointed to the screen and giggled at the little good luck gif you sent

his eyes turned to crescents and chenle smirked

‘wah, you like her, don’t you?’

at the mention of ‘like’, his smile dropped and he shook his head

‘no. of course not. shes just a friend.’

chenle being chenle,,

he continues to prod

‘okay. so every night, you make it your priority to make sure you’re home by 2 in the morning for your friend’

smh, chenle youre so annoying

but hes so right

ever since you caught him,

hes been making sure he gets home at the same time 

he sends you a text that hes on his way and you set your ringtone at a very high volume so you wake up and take care of him

during fights, he makes it his sole mission to make out of this alive and a winner for you

but that never crossed his mind as his feelings for you

he just thought of it as making you not worry for him

but then, he starts to think about your stupid little habits

the way you make this face whenever you dont understand

or when you still leave little post-it notes everywhere with ideas you come up with

he noticed it all and he loves them

‘hOLy ShIT!’

that night was when he realized his feelings for you and he was so dedicated on finishing it that he quickly won and he dashed home with his money

bursting through the door, you looked at him with wide and startled eyes

‘what’s wrong?’

you came running but he scooped you up to a hug

ok you were confused but relieved that he was home and alright

jeno looked at your face and wanted to confess but chickened out at the sight of you

you were so good to him and honestly, he doesnt deserve you

(his thoughts, not mine)

‘i-i’

he stuttered and you motioned him to continue

‘i won!’

he shouted and you congratulated him, even though he literally won all the time

guiding him to the chair, you began to dab his cuts

(dab that bitch)

‘im starting to think that your opponents either really suck or youre like the god of boxing’

he didnt know how to take that but blushed red at the mention of him being a ‘god of boxing’

‘nah, im just good’

you eyed him and smiled

he continued to watch you heal him and inspected your face

heavy eyebags and sunken cheeks, it mustve been a long night

he felt a pang in his chest thinking that you push your stuff away just to help him

‘you dont have to keep doing this for me, yknow’

you halt and look at him seriously

‘i know i dont. but i cant sleep at night thinking youre in pain and alone when i can be there for you’

even though he just realized it, jeno was pretty sure he fell in love with you a long time ago

but if it was possible, he fell in love with you even more

‘thank you’

his soft voice filled the silence and you vowed that you will always be there for him whenever he needs help

a few days later, jeno hasnt been to a fight

sure you were worried at what was going on in his head but partly relieved that you dont have to see him so battered anymore

but this was so un-jeno

just as you were about to talk to him about it, he announces he got a job at the bookstore down the street

‘huh? i thought you didnt want to work’

you question while he looked sheepish

‘i realized that i was starting to become a burden since you take care of me every time. so i thought i should quit and get a regular job. besides, it doesnt hurt as much’

he laughed but you didnt react

‘lee jeno, you gave up boxing and the money,,, for me?’

he nervously looked up at you and you noticed the redness of his cheeks

‘i-well-if you put it that way’

‘listen to me, im flattered and i truly love that you dont want to get beaten up anymore. but i dont want you to quit something you like because of me'

‘but you always take care of me and push your priorities away to clean me up. i dont do anything in return and i dont think its fair!’

he argued and a soft smile crept up your face

‘yah, lee jeno'

your voice became a whisper

‘it doesnt matter to me if you dont do anything in return bc i dont see this as a favor. you are mine to take care of and i will do anything for you, you understand that?’

he looked at you in shock after hearing your response

he also turned red at the mention of him being yours

‘so-but-i dont think-'

he stutters but you place your hands on his arms making him stop

‘all i ask is you to come back home, to come back to me'

by now, yall were blushing

even though it might not sound like it,

but yall just indirectly confessed to each other

yall stared at the ground and jeno looks up, biting his lip

‘hey, y/n, can i make it up to you with some coffee?’

your head darted up and looked at him with wide eyes

‘like-like a date?’

it came out suddenly and you stepped back in surprise, cursing yourself

but jeno chuckled, eyes scrunching cutely

‘it'll be one of many'

lmao i didnt really like this but i made it at 2 in the morning and i kinda like boxer!jeno

[shytiff]

Apr 2021 Wins

Started typing this on 4th apr lmaooo

1 - went to mcd. bought chicken + rice with the app promo. there’s a staff helping me on the order machine lol i feel badd there’s no need to do thatt. ate my lunchmade by mom at mcd’s muschola and went to sbux bcs its tumbler day. green tea latte w skim milk as usual. sent dr triya’s translation. ecmocard. started rereading goong (AGAIN. i probably have read it like 3 times minimum). still bring some feels

2 - its holiday today. spent almost the whole daylight rereading goong (turns out its pronounce ‘gung’ not ‘gong’ lol ive been wrong all this time) and finished it. the scene where they stare at each other, separated by the castle door, always gets me. got the old ipad charged (the screen are like 30% close to detaching and falling apart) and started AOT

3 - spent the whole day reading AOT. i like it when i have mini purposes in life (eg: finishing a manga series). AOT rly talks a lot about what do you want to do in life, the consequences of your choices and how you have to live with it. i felt triggered in a good way. the characters dont rly judge other’s choices, but they question them. discuss about it. give you some moral push. second gladi today. my vbg was still filpped hhhh. read aot until i felt sleepy and fell asleep. woke up very near subuh and prayed isya. my toxic trait is the horrible self care (and im talking bare minimum lol hehe lmao)

4 - finished aot. Asked irun about some aot explanations and she sent 5 paragraphs in one bubble. Slept. Flavola, kopsus coklat and somay. Also ate japota honey butter. Did 1 long input of ecmocard. Followed baepsae choreo. Moved my body a bit. Wow im not immediately sleeping. Amazing

5 - arrived at harkit 11-ish and went back about 1pm loll. super hungry when im arriving in kalideres. bought tahu colek worth 3000 (i wonder how the seller hears me through my 2 layers of mask), roti sisir and some ice cream in alfamidi. my fitlife protein powder ran out again. its my 2nd already. did some ecmocard, wasted my time after maghrib

6 - woke up late. did not have the mental strength to go to harkit so i decided to just stay home. bought sbux 1L green tea and macchiato. wasted the daylight and finally did some ecmocard in the evening,,,,

7 - off to harkit 7.30-ish pm in the rain. Took some data for ecmocard. Went to salemba to get tabung and surat bebas pustaka. Had breakfast slash lunch first, tried guudfuud (red rice, beef and omega egg). I like that the rice was not too much. Met up w ness ren and talked about isip dilemmas at sky. Afterwards went to flavola. Ordered mie rebus and roasted milk tea cause i somehow feel sooo hungry and in need of calories. It tasted so good, i was sitting in my usual seat facing the window, and the sky was a mixture of blue and grey. Brought croissant and sakura pocky at indomart. Ate the bread immediately after indomie. Went back home. Juan brought tahu gejrot that was delicious and crunchy. Internship files briefing by akis. Fell asleep

8 - woke up. Saw that dr retha was up for interview. Panicked. Thankfully it was at 12. I left home at 9:40 ish and arrived 11:50. Its a long ass way. Turns out i was interviewed with ka agassi. The doctors are so kind. They explained the gist of anesthesiology profession, and how its a choice you make, and its okay as long as you like what you do. Tried halo bowl for lunch. Sous vide chicken, rice, caesar sauce, beef bacon, and the deliciouss butter broccoli. Went back to kalideres and to starbucks. I only spent <2 hrs in there (a waste of money, i know). Bought decaf hazelnut latte (apparently the beans were kenyan something? Medium?) and butter croissant (need to cushion my stomach). Did GCP certification and sent it to the ever so kind mba Ai. Still got energy from the caffeine, did some ecmocard, read quran, read.... Toji fanfic 🤦‍♀️

9 - went to rsf w mom. We took the wrong way and had to take the long way but thank god theres still time to spare. Met dr rara. Some briefing. Went to rscm w agassi, submitted files for ijazah, went back to RSF. Girlll the cost of transport. MRT: 12K. Grab: 16-17k. Thats one way trip. Bought food at rsf canteen. Eocru briefing by the research coordinator. Ward tour w dr retha. Snacked on ovaltine provided by mba ai. Went home after maghrib by tj. Liqo along the way. Glad bersih (came late). Drank macchiato for some strength but still fell asleep quickly.i shouldnt have laid down

10 - kebakaran jenggot in the morning due to green screen positioning. Finally got the appropriate setup (after many fabric tries and cutting my mukena) at 08:30. Finished showering 08:45. Zoom was opened at 9 lmao. Somehow finished before 09:30. Zoompah w mom and dad along side me. After its ovee, some "photoshoot" w fam. At this point i was truly rly sleepy. Took of my makeup. Changed my clothes. And then racil silv dev showed up lol. I got gifts c: and then atikah came. And then i redid my makeup, this time with the help of friends to create fantastic eye make up look (which i can never pull off). Eyebrows by sil, eyeshadow and liner by cheldev lol. Took some photos. Dajen came. Talked. Videocalled w pupuy. A surprise gift from fianti came. And then chel dajen went back at 8. Still cant sleep. Slept at like 11-12

11 - lazed. Woke up, ate pizza (mom bought 2 of phd's 1m pizza) and bakwan, slept again. Matcha latte and ecmocard. Watched a bit of 2nd sinau

12 - off to rsf at 06:20. Arrived 07:15 ish. Lunch was ayam penyet accompanied by snacks that mba ai bought. Off to harkit at 14:05 (bcs my laptop somehow shut down and i lost all the unsubmitted data). And then off to kalideres at 15:30 ish to meet up w clara and search for clothes for almira's wedding. Went to lippo bcs clar saw this dress that kinda looks like the brokat given. We ate at ramen ya. It doesnt rly make you feel full, the filliny sensation was kinda like indomie. Saw that the dress looked different. Ate 1 boba pancake together at banban. Continued on to the tailor in kebon jeruk. The location was in an alley, and it was raining lol. Quoting clara: "the unnecessary struggles". The tailor was quite helpful (and she looks experienced). Arrived at clara's at 8 ish. Picked up by mom with car (it was raining) and arrived at abt 9. Hurriedly showered and tarawih and tidied up AND ITS ONLY 09:45. Its crazy how efficient one use time (and at the same time, how wasteful one can be)

13 - first day of fasting. The morning was spent taking samples. I stupidly took a sample thats not yet labeled im sorry :(((( i felt kinda tired and wanted to give up this. Give up anesthesia. Went back home at 14:00 and its cloudy. The bus was the nicer types and it was COLD. Read quran along the way. Picked up by juan. Opened laptop. And then its iftar time. I was sooo sleey and the tarawih was so long thst i closed my eyes along the way. Fianti called after tarawih, we talked til abt 21:30. And then i fell asleep

14 - went to rscm. Submitted serkom files. Met dr dyah and i hope we could somehow meet her again if we study in fkui again aamiin. Went to rsf by mrt. Arrived in lebak bulus just before it was raining. The bus took a while to arrive (usually theyre there, waiting). Its still raining like crazy so i took grabcar to AR from pesakih (39k). Played with my phone til iftar. Played phone again after tarawih and fell asleep

15 - i felt rlyy lazy and cant bring myself to wake up. Off to rsf at 07:15. There were coordinator ppl. Took sample. It was raining when i went back but i took grabbike from kalideres. Wasted my time and did not do ecmocard

16 - sampling. Snacked on keripik pisang at the room. Went back early at 13:15 ish. Picked up by juan. Sleeeept (and this is before the nightmareish mistake began)

17 - i did a mistake by telling dr retha (who took the sample today) the wrong patient (it switched in my unreliable memory. I feel terrible. Thank god shes quite chill abt it (?). Read jujutsu kaiseeen. Went to flavola. Did 1 ecmocard. Went to bandar jakarta baywalk by motorbike. Spent 135k and was quite full with many varieties. Arrived home at about 20:50. Turns out juan also had bukber with his friends. Phone call with fiiii, talked abt dimrob

18 - lazed all day, read jjk, finished my part of ecmocard (gave genky to ekal cause i was a dumbass at getting data). Ate mom's mentai rice, siomay. Drank green tea latte. Read jjk til 145 (mentok) at night. Proceeds to consume all things jjk lmaoo

19 - we took sooo long to get samples. Finished at 13:00. Went to rm with dr rara. Went back home. Watched the third sinau. Read the IMMACULATE jjk fics by celestialmechanics im IN LOVEEEE with the way s/he writes ughhhh

20 - samples took faster than usual. Mba ai did not came today. Went to RM and did some work there. Off to AR by 15:00. Arrived close to maghrib. Did not do any work afterwards lmao. Did not even wash my face

21 - magang as usual. Note to self: sit on the right side of the bus. Did nothing yesterday. Felt like shit after tarawih (but i showered before maghrib!!)

22 - todays problem was the swab sample not being there even though the staff allegedly already took it. Huft. Took a shower and out on vitacid (i cant remember the kast time i put on vitacid 😳 its probably been... a week or two?

23 - samples finished quite quickly. Already going home at 12. Lazedddd and lazed and lazed. Waited for emir to pick me up so i went to dm. Read an immaculate itadori x megumi fix thats just full of feels. Started demon slayer lets see

24 - literally just laid in bed reading manga and seeing tiktok and slept again and suddenly its 1 am. Showered. Still in a lazy mode. Havent begun clires work. Watched leah's vlog that said "go do things youve been putting off!". Finally finished the third and last video of Sinau Yuk ICU class with dr. Zeta, SpAn lolll even though the actual last class was on 7th apr. iftar was fish and chips and salad yuum

25 - woke up at like 1am since i slept too much yesterday. Ate tan ek tjoan bread and drank sbux matcha latte. Did some intern work. Read a bit of quran. Sahur. Cant even sleep again so i showered. Off with mom and dad (09:30) since dad’s going to get vaccinated at skk migas. Mom drove me to ara’s place (11:00). Talked a bit and even read quran again there. Off to GI (13:00) to meet up w regen. Walked around. Bought a discounted TBS green tea facial wash. Went back home by TJ (16:00). the bus station is a bit closer now. Arrived home close to maghrib (17:30). hurriedly showered and went to sleep (properly) after tarawih. A good good sleep since i got 9400 steps today and that tired me out lmaooo (bare minimum yall, i know). 

26 - woke up still sleepy. Slept again after iftar and woke up at 07:30. Skipped shower and off to RSF lmao. Went to medical record. Walked to the front of RSF originally planning to go to lebak bulus by angkot but i saw none. So i went through mrt instead. Stopped by at kebon jeruk and walked 800 meter (that tireeed me and made me feel parched under the sun) to risma busana for clothes fitting. Took gojek to jembatan gantung (turns out the closer halte to flyover was taman kota). Iftar was chicken noodle and risol and banana and i felt fullll and i slept

27 - today is off day since im alternating with agassi. read quran. watched shadow and bone (with 1,5x speed except for kanej and matthias nina scenes). didnt rly do any magang work except the table asked by dr retha. i feel like usually im operating on 70%. sleeping more doesnt rly add that. i need caffeine or physical activity. before i know it, its close to iftar.

28 - i ((felt)) like i had a decent amount of energy today. shouldve done some work between sahur and leaving the house but i ended up reading vampire knight lmaoooo the scenes had no business bringing so much butterflies. sampling together w agassi. mba ai didnt come in today. after agassi left did some magang work. i also went to RM to ask for more RM to bu dian. took angkot to lebak bulus for the first time. paid 5k. i had no idea which angkot went to lebak bulus and the driver (somehow knowing the right words to say) said “lebak bulus lebak bulus”. didnt read much quran on the way back. i just close my eyes and relaxed. felt kinda low on sugar. watched more shadow and bone on the way back and at home until close to iftar. didnt do anything after tarawih. slept hoping i woke up early (which i did, at 3am. but i slept again)

29 - im supposed to have ample energy but i just stuck around my bed until its time to get ready to go. read some kanej fic lol. I dont rly do anything productive after arriving home

30 - made intern log, magang as usual. Did not go to rm. Finished watching shadow and bone. Rested bcs tomorrow's saturdayyy

[hollandroos]

Build Me Up (Buttercup)

My imagines ❀ My series 

Summary: Tom receives a knock at his door at half-past one am from his bruised and bloodied best friend. 

Prompts; “Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?” (This was requested as a blurb but I got carried away)

Words: 1.7k

Warnings: Mentions of physical fights, blood and drinking 

                                 ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Tom hardly seemed to sleep as of late. He was always typing emails to someone, working on one project or another or chasing after one of his friends. He didn’t seem to mind – especially when it came to seeing to his friends. If they needed him, he was there.

All he needed was coffee and a nap the next day. 

But he didn’t expect the shrill ringing of his front door to flood the apartment at one twenty-six am. At first, he ignored it. Thinking it was a prank from neighbouring teens he shoves the nearest pillow over his head right after glancing at his phone only to see a few texts from Harrison and a game request from one of his brothers. 

But when it rings for the third time he hauls himself out from beneath the sheets, groaning as the cold autumn air hits his bare chest. A shiver runs down the brunette's spine – one that makes him want to climb back into bed but Tessa had already rolled onto his spot, taking place where he once lay. He trusts that she’d shield the warmth until he got back from – most likely – warning off angsty teens at half-past one am.

Tom had to get to ‘em before Mary Jane across the street did with her bat.

Sighing, he pads out to the front door nearly tripping over clothes that long-needed washing and dog toys that he swears Tess lay in the hallway. Tom was totally one to curse but cricky – something about stepping on a chew toy in the dark makes him have to bite down on his lip hard enough to draw blood. This prevents him from yelling out a string of curses that’d make the neighbours hide their 6-year-old boy from Tom for the remainder of their lease. 

Right outside the door, facing the bitter seasonal air stands you. 

You slip your lip between your teeth right before tasting the crimson blood on your tongue. it’s gross - the taste reminds you of when you were in fourth grade and tripped and fell on your face. And when you had that dental operation in sixth. 

You release it, screwing your face up instantly in disgust. By now the blood had probably stained the area around your mouth and beneath your nose, the bruising had probably painted your torso shades of purple and blue. Surely you looked a right mess, without a doubt. And you were tired too – so tired that you could sleep on the patio with Toms glass garden gnomes and the hedgehogs that visited every now and then.

You were cold too, the tips of your fingers numb and toes painfully so in your party heels. The dress you were wearing hardly did anything. You didn’t even have a coat. 

Tom opens the door a crack, opening it fully when he sees you standing there but through that crack, one merely a few inches he doesn't see the extent of your injuries… or any of them. It’s not until the door is fully open that he feels his chest ache and questions begin to plague his mind.

“Holy shit– what…” Tom eyes you up and down, mouth falling open in shock and his knuckles tighten around the front door. Surely it’d splinter, that's how hard he was gripping it. “Are you hurt?”

You shake your head, wincing when the pain hits. “No.”

In any other situation you would’ve pointed out that he was damn near naked and if it wasn’t so dark out then little Mary Jane next door, the elderly who was always out doing her lawn would’ve been scarred. But in any other situation, you wouldn’t be standing on his doorstep drunk and pained. 

“Then why are there bruises all over your face?” Tom says it a little more aggressively then he means too, with an almost hoarse tone. But he feels all traces of still being tired – whatever was left, slowly float away. That exhaustion turns into and in fact– fuels his anger. 

You look broken, both physically and mentally and hardly able to even hold yourself up and with that realisation, he steps aside to let you hobble in. You hold yourself up with little energy, leaning against the wall to stop yourself from tumbling. Feeling as weak as you look, you want to ask for a glass of water or a blanket but all that comes out of your mouth is a string of words recalling the last hour. 

“I was at that bar down the street and I got in a fight with this girl who thought that I was flirting with her boyfriend but really I was just asking him if I could borrow his phone because I lost my own and I still might be a little drunk–”

“Did you drive here?” Tom interrupts, checking if you were still holding your car keys. He doesn’t see any - and he doubts that even drunk you’d do something that stupid. But still, he has to check. 

You shake your head, strands of hair sticking to your bloodied face. “No– no, of course not. I walked–”

“You walked?! Y/N, It’s like one am what the fuck?” Tom throws his arms over his head, raising his voice to the distaste of his poor neighbours. Tom hated the thought of you walking down the streets of London by yourself, drunk and cold. without a phone nor a companion. He would’ve walked you home in sweats and slippers if it meant you weren’t alone.

It leaves a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. One that hadn’t seemed to leave since the very second he saw your broken form. It only escalated when you told him the story. Tom swears that if the feeling gets any worse he’ll quite literally throw up – hopefully on the patio and not the new, four hundred dollar rug in the middle of the living room. 

“Relax, I’m okay. Besides, I think after tonight I’ve learnt that I throw a pretty mean punch.” You try your best to smile, wincing as you pull on the cut on your lip. “If you think this is bad you should’ve seen her.”

It’s a lie. You’re in way worse shape then the other girl but don’t say that out loud. At least not tonight. Usually, Tom would’ve been able to see right through your lies – after many years of friendship that was compulsory but not tonight. Maybe it was the alcohol that allowed you to lie to him so easily. Maybe your best friend was just more concerned with the bruises that littered icy skin to notice the tale tail signs of you slipping in a little dishonest information. 

Tom rests a hand on your cheek, assessing the bruises. “Your eye is bruising pretty badly and your lip is split.”

“You should see my ribs.” You snort, words still a little bit slurred. 

With wide eyes and a heart that skips not one– but possibly Tom beats, your tired best friend lets out an exasperated gasp.“What!”

“Relax, it’s not that bad.”  

By morning, you’d regret the shots you took one after the other and dancing on tables like no one was watching (in reality… everyone was watching) and you’d probably regret causing your poor best friend enough stress to give him a heart attack. Silently, you’d regret trying to fight back with the drunk girl and you’d regret not taking up the bartenders offer of a couple of bags of ice and a free bottle of water to compensate. 

“Just a little… a little bit sore.” You tell Tom swallowing the blood that stains your teeth with a queasy expression. 

With that, you tug the underside of your dress up. It wasn’t anything Tom hadn’t seen before - not the injuries. You. Your body. Besides, it wasn’t hard to focus when bruises were blossoming on your torso. Appearing like daisies in spring.

“Fucking shit–”

You gasp at your friend's curses, blurting out a strong; “Language!”

“You need to go to the ER,” Tom tells you, wondering just how long you’d be able to stand on your feet for. The heels couldn’t be too comfortable.

You had long forgotten about the blisters that up until just recently, had been the causes of your wincing and whining. 

Pressing a firm finger to the boy's chest, you prepare your next statement. Keep in mind that it’s early in the am’s. The moon illuminates the city instead of the familiar glow of the sun and everyone else was curled up in their beds, shielded by layers of cotton blankets and pets that guard the doors – asleep themselves. All except Tessa. 

Yawning, you allow your eyes to flutter open and shut. Sleep sounded nice. It sounded marvellous. Sleeping next to Tom, entangled in a shirt of the boys and the familiar scent that had intertwined itself with his pillow sounded perfect.

“You need to let me sleep first.”

“Sleep after I’ve taken you to the ER.” Tom eyes you up and down, noticing the goosebumps that decorate your arms and the fact that your lips already looked a little discoloured – and not from the blood and bruises that paint your expression. “You can borrow some of my clothes so you don’t get cold. And maybe have a glass of water or two and a protein bar first.”

A pout replaces the purse that once adorned your features. “But sleep–”

“But you need to go the ER, I’m not letting you sleep when you may have a concussion and I’m most definitely not letting you go into work tomorrow.” Taking your hand carefully, Tom tangles your fingers together. It was a little thing the two of you did whenever one of you was nervous or hurt – a kind of ‘I’m here and I’m not leaving’ thing. 

Tom sighs, noticing your face fall from what looked like a combination of exhaustion and slight disappointment. He didn’t want to disappoint you – he wants you to be safe. Fully aware of the alcohol making you a little more receptive to your current overwhelming abundance of emotions, Tom shakes his head.

“Now buttercup, go sit on the couch and I’ll grab you and me some clothes and some food. We could be there for a while.”

Tell me what you thought! + My writing ♡

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[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Chapter Twenty-Five

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/N: trigger warning for blood, violence, torture, death, death of a child, implied past sexual abuse, and pls dont hesitate from letting us know if we missed anything <3

Lev stared at the ceiling. It’d taken Cameron fifteen minutes to get out of bed that morning. Lev’d barely fallen asleep by the time Cameron woke and started his painful attempts to start his day, and now Lev couldn’t get back to sleep.

Lev snagged his phone off the bedside table, scrolling through his contacts. He shot a text to Amara and then set his phone down again.

Sighing, he burrowed closer to Nik, breathing in his sandalwood and ocean scent, as if that would make any of this easier. Nik gave a sleepy sound, tucking Lev closer so he could bury his face in Lev’s neck. For a few more minutes Lev let him, absently tracing his fingers down Nik’s sides, following tattoos and muscle until his growling stomach drove him out of bed. He lingered long enough to brush Nik’s blue-streaked hair from his face and kiss the exposed forehead. “Hey. Come get some coffee,” Lev said, tugging on Nik’s hair. Better to get him up now, before Eden woke.

Nik grumbled at him, but made a move to get vertical, so Lev pressed another kiss to the top of his head, cupping his cheek. Nik’s eyes were still closed when he leaned up for a kiss, but Lev indulged him.

“Come on.” Lev tried to sound stern. He was pretty sure he sounded more indulgently affectionate than anything else, but he did pull away, so if Nik wanted anything else-

Nik held out a hand, which Lev took, tugging him to his feet. Almost instantly Lev pressed a hand to his chest, not trusting Nik not to lean over and fall asleep on the ground.

“If I trusted you to walk on your own, I’d ask you to carry me,” Lev said.

Nik pouted. “I can carry you,” he whined, scrubbing his face.

“Don’t worry about it,” Lev said, steadying him as he headed for the door. “I’m probably getting a little big for that now anyway. Not just skin and bones anymore.”

“I’ll just get more muscle then,” Nik mumbled, clearly still half asleep. “It’ll be fine.”

“If you say so, dear,” Lev said, patting Nik’s elbow, and then tugging him away from walking into the wall.

“I do say so,” Nik said, with all the indignity someone ready to doze off on their feet could muster.

That was when Lev managed to steer Nik into the kitchen, where Cameron was making his way painfully to the counter. Lev sat Nik down on a stool, and then scooted past Cameron. “Go sit down,” Lev told him. “I can get the coffee.”

Cameron sent him a glare. “You go sit down. You’re supposed to be in bed.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Lev said. “Sit. Down. I’ve got it. I- I wanted to talk to you both anyway. Before Eden woke up and all the chaos starts up again.”

“Make me,” Cameron challenged.

Lev looked at him, halfway to the coffee pot. “Cameron. Please? I’m- please. Let me do this. You won't let me do anything else to help.”

“Cameron,” Nik said, rubbing his temples. “Just sit down. It’s too damn early for this.”

To Lev’s relief, Cameron sat down, even if it was in stony silence. Lev moved around in equal silence, mechanically making the coffee and pouring them both a cup. He grabbed a stool and sat down, pretending he didn’t notice how Cameron had watched his every move. Lev waited until Nik had gulped down half his mug before clearing his throat.

Lev rubbed his palms on his pajama pants, and then said quietly, “I texted Amara to come pick me up.”

Cameron didn’t even blink. Nik frowned, clearly trying to process what the hell Lev had just said. “Why,” he finally asked.

“I need- I need some time. Some- some space.” Lev did his best not to look down. He owed them that. “I can’t think- I can’t think here, and- and I’m not being much use right now. I need to step back and just- I need to figure some- somethings out.”

“Are you breaking up with us?” Cameron said dryly.

Nik shot Cameron a dirty look, and then looked back to Lev. “Are you coming back?”

Lev hesitated, wrapping his arms around his stomach. “No- I mean, yes, I mean- No, I'm not breaking up with you, yes I plan to come back- I- I couldn’t stay away forever, I- I just need time. I need to think. So much happens around you both, and it’s all so much. I need to catch my breath.” He swallowed hard. “I know it’s shitty timing- but-”

“But?” Cameron pressed, just like Lev had been afraid he would.

“But I need this,” Lev finally said.

Cameron leaned back. “Fair enough. I can’t protect you anyway.”

“That’s not-” Lev wrapped his arms tighter around himself, closing his eyes. “That’s not what I meant.” He hated himself, just a little, for how the tears pricked anyway.

“You don’t have to go.” Nik looked awake now. “You can stay. Why do you want to go? Is it because of yesterday? What I said to you?”

Lev shook his head vehemently, curling inwards. “No. No. It’s not that. It’s not you, either of you.” He scrubbed at his cheek angrily. “I just have to, Nik. That’s all I have for you.”

When Lev looked up, Nik was glaring at the counter. Cameron’s level gaze was on Lev, gauging him. Lev didn’t like the feeling.

“Take Eden with you,” Cameron finally said. “I can’t protect her either.”

“I can’t,” Lev said, softly. Even if it pained him so much it was hard to breathe.

Cameron nodded. “I’ll have Nate come get her,” he said.

Lev blinked. “Are you in that much danger?” He finally asked.

“What does it matter? You won’t be here. You’ll be safe with Amara.” Cameron’s tone was halfway dismissive.

“I wasn’t worried about me,” Lev said, sharpness entering his voice without his permission. “I’m worried about you. You’re hurt, and you won't let anyone lift a finger to help you. Are you going to just send everyone away and sit there until he comes back?”

“It’s none of your business,” Cameron replied, face blank.

“Nothing is ever my business,” Lev said, standing. “I just sit in confusion, and get to be treated like a child when I don’t understand what’s going on. Just because I’m not strong or fierce or good at making people bleed doesn’t mean I can’t handle anything ever.” He rubbed his face, sniffing hard. “Whatever. I need to get dressed. Amara should be here soon.”

“What’s going on is that I have an angry client who is upset I took his job,” Cameron said.

Lev had no idea what to say to that. Neither, it seemed, did Nik, who stared at Cameron with an openly horrified expression.

“Go get dressed,” Cameron said, struggling to his feet and heading for the stove. “You’re probably right.”

Lev watched him for a few heartbeats before spinning on his heel and walking out the door. That was exactly why he needed to leave. It was so damn hard to think straight around Cameron. Or Nik, for that matter. They left Lev feeling like he was always half a step behind, off kilter and so full of emotions he didn’t know how to process.

Once Lev got to his bedroom, Lev peeled off his pajamas, and went rummaging for his own clothes. All his this time, not Cameron’s or Nik’s. He settled on the edge of the bed once he was done, and buried his face in his hands.

---

Nik was still staring at Cameron’s back, horrified at what Cameron said, but he was also torn between that and going after Lev to get him to change his mind. Cameron was acting so unfazed about literally everything that had transpired in the last twenty-four hours and Nik wasn’t sure how to take any of it. “He’s going to leave,” Nik said.

“As is his prerogative,” Cameron said, trying to get out a skillet. “I’m not his keeper and I have no intention of forcing anyone to stay with me. If you want gone, too, then go. I can’t protect you either.”

“You called Destris a client.”

“Yes?” Cameron said, back spasming as he finally got the skillet onto the stove top. “I know what I said, Nikolas, I was there. Do you not know the definition of the word?”

“Yes, I-” Nik was at a loss of words. “Just. Fine. Don’t go anywhere. I’m going to go talk to Lev.”

When Cam didn’t say anything, just kept attempting to cook, Nik sighed softly and went to the bedroom, where Lev was settled on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. Lev hadn’t even looked up when Nik knocked on the doorframe. “Do you remember when I told you you had to decide if you could handle being here during your heat? Is this you deciding?”

Lev finally looked up at him, shoulders slumping. “This is me trying to decide with a clear head.”

“What- what did I do?” Nik said. “Was it something I said? Did? Annoy you one too many times?” Nik tried for a smile. “Is it because I said you were gross for not liking coffee. It was a joke. I promise you can just like your milk and honey and I’ll just judge you in silence.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Lev said. “Neither did Cameron.”

“Then why,” Nik said. “Why now. Something happened and now you’re leaving us. You don’t have to go, please don’t go. I love you.” Well, Nik hadn’t meant to say that, but it was too late to take it back now.

Lev looked so hurt and he just stood. “That’s not fair, Nik. Throwing that in my face now. It’s not a magic band aid.” He went to grab a jacket. “I’m going to wait for Amara on the front porch.

Nik grabbed Lev’s arm before he pushed past him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. Just. I’m sorry.” He let Lev go, though, and went to go to the kitchen where he dropped down on a stool and drop his hands in his hands.

“I’m guessing you didn’t succeed?”

“Probably got him to never come back,” Nik muttered.

“Sounds about right,” Cameron said, grunting as he reached for the eggs in the fridge. “Just let him go. If he wants to come back, then he will. If not, perhaps he wasn’t meant to be here for good.”

“I guess.”

Finally the telltale sound of Amara’s shitty motorcycle came closer and Cameron said, “Are you going to tell him goodbye?”

“No,” Nik said, face in his arms. “He probably doesn’t want me to after that.” When Lev didn’t come in to say he was leaving, and when the motorcycle started getting far away, Nik said, “See?”

Cameron flicked him a look while he started slicing up avocados. “Go get my phone.”

Nik slipped off the stool and wandered around the house until he found Cameron’s phone still speckled in dry blood. “Of course it is,” Nik muttered, making his way back to the kitchen. “Here.”

Cameron finished up his avocado and then took it from him. He put the phone between his ear and shoulder while starting back up on cutting up the… vegetable? Fruit? Whatever the fuck an avocado was.

“I am well aware of the time, Nathaniel,” Cameron said, coolly. “No, I don’t care that either of you are sleeping, either. I need you to do something for me.” Cameron paused, looking unimpressed at whatever it was that Nik could imagine Nate was saying. “Get Eden. Keep her for a while. I don’t know, Nate. If I did I would give you a set time that I’d be picking her up. Consider it open ended. There isn’t anyone I know competent enough to take care of her for me. Good. Goodbye.” Cameron promptly hung up and put the phone on the counter and continued chopping up the avocados. “He’ll be here in a few hours. I’ll finish breakfast and then get her ready.”

“So you’re really doing it,” Nik said. “You’re giving my brother the baby? Our baby?”

“It’s the right decision with Destris still in town,” Cameron said, neutrally. “You won’t let me kill her and I can’t protect her. It’s the only choice left.”

“I can protect her,” Nik said, defensively. “I am just as dangerous as you are, and apparently more dangerous than you are since you refuse to raise a hand to your sadistic brother and refuse to let Lev heal you because of your damned pride.”

Cameron’s eyes flicked up at that and it was an effort to not shrink back at that ice cold look from him. “You can protect her?” he asked, coolly. “You? Who can’t even handle a minor injury without drinking two extremely strong drinks because you got too upset?”

“Did you seriously just call what you had a minor injury,” Nik said, staring at him.

“I’m alive and on my feet,” Cameron said, moving back to the stove with the diced up avocados. “So yes.”

“You’d be dead if it wasn’t for Lev and Sazra,” Nik countered. “Your back just got resplit open and all your fingers broken, and stars know what else. Do not tell me that was a minor injury, you fucking liar.”

“We don’t lie to each other, remember,” Cameron said, completely unfazed at Nik’s blatant yelling. The pan sizzled as Cameron dropped the chopped avocados into the vegetable oil. “Just because you can’t handle a little pain, doesn’t mean I can’t.”

“You need so much therapy,” Nik said, still staring at him. He wasn’t sure if he felt bad for him, or if he was disgusted or just enraged at Cameron so clearly unable to see how flawed his logic was.

“No I don’t,” Cameron said, moving around the food with a spatula. “What’s a therapist even going to tell me what I don’t already know. At the end of the day the clock can’t be turned back, so it doesn’t make a difference.”

Nik hated that he couldn’t think of a damn counter to that. He had the same logic for it, but it didn’t sound right coming out of Cameron. “Whatever,” Nik said, plucking a cooked avocado cube out of the skillet and popping it into his mouth. “If you want to be that dense, so be it.”

---------

After breakfast, Cameron made his way back to Eden’s nursery, taking longer than he cared to admit, but found her awake, sitting and chewing on a new stuffed animal. She laid her eyes on him and started waving around her chewed toy and squealing at him. Cameron grimaced. “Good morning to you, you little monster,” he grumbled, picking her up and carrying her to the changing table.

He made quick work of changing her diaper despite the pain lacing through his body. But he had a schedule to keep, and he was going to keep it. Eden, luckily, seemed to realise that Cameron was injured and kept her wiggling to a minimum.

He managed to get her stuff packed in record time and decided to use the remaining time sitting in the rocking chair with her feeding her. Eden contently took to her feeding with enthusiasm. He used his foot to rock the chair slightly. “Hopefully the angel will keep your schedule with little change,” he told her. “If he doesn’t, you have every permission to raise hell with him.”

Cameron liked to think the glint he saw in her eyes was her agreeing with him. When they finished the bottle, Cameron went ahead and changed her once more, just to be safe, and carried her and the diaper bag out to the kitchen where Nik was in fact waiting with Nate. Nate stared at him, but his face was neutral in almost a flash. “She ready?” he said, trying for a light tone that didn’t sit well with the expression on Nate’s face.

“Clearly,” Cameron said, blackness cutting around the corners of his vision while he shrugged the diaper bag off his shoulder and handed it over to him. “There’s clothes, diapers and everything else you need. I also included her schedule. I trust you can read? If not I’m sure Bay can for you.”

Nate rolled his eyes. “I can even tie my own shoes, too,” he said, shouldering the bag and going to take Eden from him. He brought her to his chest and kissed the top of her head. “You ready, Baby?” he said, smiling down at her. “I bet we got plenty of toys for you to destroy.” Eden’s shrill giggle made Nate’s eyes crinkle. But that smile instantly evaporated into solemness when he looked back at Cameron, then at Nik. “She’ll be safe with us. I promise it.”

“Well good,” Nik said, bitterly. “Because apparently neither of us can protect her.”

Nate opened and closed his mouth, wanting to say something but deciding anything he had to say wouldn’t suffice. He just nodded in the end, lightly bouncing Eden. “I’ll send you updates,” he said, to both of them. “Good luck with whatever’s going on.”

Nik quickly got up from his spot on the stool and came over to press a kiss to Eden’s white hair. “I’ll see you soon, Baby. Promise.” He looked up to Nate. “Thanks, man. I won’t forget this.”

Nate shrugged. “What’s family for?”

-----

As if they could sense Lev’s mood, Reneé and Cin tiptoed around Lev as he curled up on the couch. Even Amara was subdued, and Lev almost swore she was hovering. Reneé had fed him, which he appreciated, but it only made him more homesick for Cameron’s cooking.

Eventually, though, they all just piled up on the couch, squishing Lev in the middle. Someone constantly had their hands on him, patting his hair and purring softly. Not home, but safe enough for now, even if his omega was unhappy he was so far from Cameron and Nik.

Lev buried his face against Cin, sniffling abruptly. Amara bit down on his shoulder, and then asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Lev shook his head sharply. “I just- I need to think.” He sniffed a bit more, and then mumbled, “Maybe after a nap.”

“Yeah, maybe. You look like you only got fifteen minutes of sleep last night,” Amara replied teasingly.

“I did,” Lev replied.

Amara tugged at him, made him look at her. She searched his face, blue-grey eyes hard and serious for once. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m just tired,” Lev said in a small voice. “I want to sleep. Please?”

After waiting Lev out didn’t get Amara anywhere, she sighed. “You want the couch or the bed?”

“They’re about the same level of comfortable,” Lev muttered.

At least she laughed at that. “Maybe they’re a good influence on you after all.” She ruffled his hair. “Listen. Reneé is officially late to school. Cin and I are going to drop her off, and then we’ll be back. We’ll be gone an hour, tops, alright? I’ll wake you up when it’s time for lunch.”

Lev made a face. “You’re not going to try to cook, are you?”

“Nah. I’ll use your card to order out,” Amara promised as she and the others peeled away. “Sleep here, sleep in my bed, sleep in Ren’s. Doesn’t matter to me.”

“Okay,” Lev said, closing his eyes when Reneé pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “See you later.”

Without them, the apartment, tiny as it was, felt vast. No matter how tired he was, he couldn’t get comfortable. Not on the couch, not on either of the beds. There was nothing to eat in the kitchen and nothing to watch and nothing to read; Amara must have been late on her cable bill, and Reneé unfortunately had a much different reading taste from Lev.

Restless and irritable, Lev grabbed his jacket and scribbled a note for Amara to call him if she needed him. Maybe a walk would clear his head. So on a walk he went, following familiar streets blindly until he realized he was standing on his old porch, staring at a door he knew damn well was still broken.

After blinking a few times, he pushed the front door open. The living room was dark, but Lev could still see the old stain on the floor. He let out a small breath, and shut the door behind him, flicking on the lights as he padded deeper into the house. Once he reached the kitchen he hunted down cleaning supplies; cleaning helped him think, and maybe, one day, he could sell this place and be rid of it forever.

He wasn’t sure how long he was on his knees cleaning before he admitted defeat. He’d gotten all he could up, and if he wanted to sell this place it was likely that he’d have to replace the carpet entirely. At least now, though, it wasn’t crusted with his own blood, and merely damp as hell and stained.

Sitting back on his haunches, Lev wiped his cheeks. He hadn’t even realized he’d been crying again. It made sense, though. Even now he swore his back twinged with the ghost of Remi’s blade. He was putting the cleaning supplies away when he heard a knock on the front door. Only after a moment of debate did Lev skirt around the damp patch in the carpet and open the door a crack.

A tall, dirty blonde man stood there. He was smiling faintly down at Lev, head slightly cocked to the side.

“Can I help you?” Lev ventured, just to be polite. He couldn’t place why he looked vaguely familiar, and a pang of guilt had him opening the door a fraction more. Had he just forgotten who this was?

“I was wondering if I could use your phone to call my brother? My car broke down,” the man said in a too-pleasant tone.

Lev hesitated. Something... something wasn’t right, and he was tempted to shut the door in this man’s face. He could smell that this was an alpha, and that only left Lev more wary.

Lev must have hesitated too long, because this strange alpha leaned closer. “It’s the middle of winter. Are you really going to leave me out here?”

That was enough Lev winced, mumbling a quick, “Sorry,” out of habit. He dug around in his pocket, and fished out his phone, sliding it through the crack. Surely an alpha would understand why an omega would be so damn wary of a stranger on his porch, and even if he didn’t that was not Lev’s problem.

The alpha flashed him another small smile, and started dialing. Lev couldn’t hear the dial tone, and barely caught whatever he was saying, but a chill went down his spine when he heard the alpha murmur Cameron’s name.

Already Lev was suspicious, and it took mere seconds to bounce to a chilling conclusion. In a flash Lev shoved the door shut and scrambled to hook the chain in place. The doorknob might be broken but the chain could buy him-

A shove against the door sent Lev stumbling back before he could even slot it into place. Lev could almost see it, now, what Zareth had said about it being Cameron, but worse. He bolted despite the leisurely stroll Destris was taking, slamming his bedroom door shut behind him and twisting the lock shut. A futile shove at the window told him it was jammed in a way that wasn’t natural- but how...?

Deciding now wasn’t the time to ponder about that, Lev looked around the room frantically. As he tried not to panic, he heard a knock on the bedroom door. “What’s wrong? It was just a phone call,” Destris said, voice syrupy sweet.

Lev’s hand dropped to his pocket, before he realized with a small omegan whine that Destris had his phone, and his landline phone was in the kitchen. He couldn’t call for help.

He was moving for his bedside table when Destris opened the door with a sharp twist to the doorknob. Lev froze, pressing his back to the wall and keeping the bed between them.

“Why are you so afraid?” The demon asked casually. “I can smell the fear on you.”

“A strange alpha just broke into my house,” Lev said, scooting closer to the bedside table. His voice shook. “Why wouldn’t I be afraid?”

“Am I really all that strange?” Destris cocked his head again. “We’re practically in-laws.”

Lev stilled by the bedside table, gripping the corner of it tightly. “I don’t know you,” Lev finally managed, trying to keep his breath steady and failing miserably. “And I don’t trust you.”

“Oh?” This time Destris arched a brow. “And you know Cameron? There’s plenty you don’t know about him.”

Lev wrapped his hand around the little lamp on his bedside table. He threw it as hard as he could, and scrambled over the bed, trying to make it out the door. Destris merely sidestepped the lamp and stuck out his foot. Lev barely managed to keep from falling on his face, twisting so his shoulder took the brunt of the fall instead of his face, or worse, his wrists.

Dazed, Lev didn’t get the chance to scramble up before Destris loomed over him, looking amused. “Carrying precious cargo, are we?”

It took Lev a few precious seconds of confusion before Lev blurted out, “No?” He scooted back, trying to get room to stand. Surprisingly, Destris let him stand, even if he kept prowling closer, green eyes glinting.

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Destris asked.

A cold shiver went down Lev’s spine. He opened his mouth, and tripped over the coffee table before he could say anything. Stupid. He should have been moving closer to the front door. He started edging that way instead, keeping an eye on Destris. “I’m not pregnant. There’s no way.”

“You’re an omega. I’m sure you’ve taken many cocks up the ass. There’s plenty of ways.”

Lev shook his head sharply. “No,” he said faintly. “My family- we don’t- it takes so long for- I’m not fucking pregnant.”

Destris gave him a slow once over, chuckling. “You certainly look it.”

Lev didn’t even have a response for that. Had it been any other time he would have been offended at the comment about the weight he’d gained from all the food Cameron had insisted he eat, but today he just yanked the front door open and tried to make a run for it.

Destris didn’t even stop him. Lev made it all the way to the neighbors front door, and when he looked over his shoulder, Destris had his hands in his pockets, stalking across the yard with a fluid grace that sent a shudder through Lev.

To his surprise, the door slid open before Lev could bang on it. Horror hit Lev a second too late as he stepped inside, the scent of rotting honey slamming him to a halt not two steps in the parlor. He gagged, hitting his knees as he stared at what used to be his neighbor- and her daughter.

Lev’s stomach lurched as he stared, too sick to move. “No,” he whispered, still taking in the sheer amount of golden blood splattered all over the place.

“They were in my way,” Destris said in a bored tone from behind him.

Lev fought another heave of his stomach, reaching for the infant. “They wouldn’t have hurt you,” he said, choking back tears. He drew his hand back, hugging his stomach as if that would help anything.

“They were angels,” was all Destris had to say, as if that excused this slaughter.

Lev turned around, hands clenched. “She was a single mother. You killed a child. They wouldn't have hurt you.”

“No one can hurt me. Cameron wouldn’t even hurt me.”

“Then why,” Lev rasped. “Why?”

“Because I can,” Destris replied easily.

Lev’s sharp, “Fuck you,” was out of his mouth before he could stop it. He flinched immediately.

Destris’ small smile did nothing to ease the twisting of Lev’s stomach. “Why would I defile myself with an angel when Cameron is right there?”

Lev flinched again, drawing back. “What do you want?” Lev demanded weakly, even as he stood on shaky legs.

This time Destris’ smile grew. “I want to hurt Cameron,” he replied.

That was more than enough for Lev, who turned around and made to bolt for the back of the house. He wasn’t ready for Destris to catch the back of Lev’s hoodie, yanking hard enough Lev choked.

“This is a really poor choice in clothing,” Destris said, before tossing Lev to the side. Lev landed directly in the middle of the glass coffee table, which shattered beneath him. Shards of glass cut into his hands when he tried to get up, and he could feel blood sliding down his face. Before he could get his bearings, Destris fisted a hand in his hair, and dragged him out of the pile of glass.

As Destris started dragging Lev out the door, Lev latched onto Destris’ wrist, trying to pull free. Destris wasn’t having any of that, and slammed Lev’s face into the doorway. Lev saw stars, but that wasn’t enough, because Destris tossed him down the porch stairs, letting Lev crumple in a heap, too dazed to move from the concrete sidewalk he’d landed on.

“You should be more careful, little bird,” Destris mocked, descending the stairs leisurely.

Lev pushed himself up. He’d fucking crawl if he had to, even if his head was spinning so much he wasn’t sure if he’d know which direction to go. He didn’t get far before Destris’ foot connected with his side, sending him sprawling again. Lev blinked up at him when Destris crouched beside him, grabbing Lev’s face.

“Are you alright? You’re bleeding,” he said with faux concern, swiping his thumb through the blood on Lev’s cheek. He popped said thumb in his mouth, eyes glinting. “I can see why Cameron bites you so much.”

“Let me go,” Lev said, unable to keep the panicked, pleading tone from his voice.

“Why would I do that, when we’re just getting to know each other?” Destris purred. Abruptly he yanked Lev’s head up, latching onto Lev’s throat with his fangs. Every instinct of Lev’s was screaming: he went limp out of sheer self preservation, giving a high pitched whine that was nothing short of pure omegan submission.

When Destris pulled back, his lips were shiny with golden blood. “Much better. I should bite angels more often.”

Lev closed his eyes tightly, well aware of Destris’ hand in his hair still, and of the blood gushing down his front. As Destris dragged him back towards Lev’s house, Lev tugged his magic up, hoping what he had left from healing Cameron would at least be enough to close up the wounds he had now. He was lucky: by the time Destris dropped him on his living room floor, he’d closed most of them, including the vicious bite to his neck.

Lev looked up at Destris, breathing hard and already crying silently. His omega whined deep within him, and he listened, arching his neck slightly in a show of terrified submission. Anything to keep Destris from lashing out again. Posturing like that had worked with violent alphas before, after all.

“Do you bare your throat like this for Cameron?” Destris asked. When Lev didn’t say a damn word, frightened and unwilling to provoke him further, Destris mused, “You’re too scared. I guess I should look like someone you trust.”

As he spoke, his features shifted, just enough. In a single blink, Lev was staring up at Cameron. His breath caught, and fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. That wasn’t fair.

“Is this better?” Destris asked, and it was Cameron’s voice Lev heard.

“Please,” Lev whispered, holding very still.

Destris crouched, grabbing Lev’s face gently. It didn’t- those were Cameron’s hands, and those should have been comforting, were comforting, weren’t comforting.

“Stop crying,” Destris ordered- Cameron- it was his voice, and Lev hated that it worked, hated that his tears stopped. He held still, too afraid to say anything. It didn’t make- he didn’t understand- it shouldn’t have-

“Good boy,” Cameron- no, Destris- said, sending a shiver down Lev’s spine. That little smile was too- it was wrong, on Cameron’s face.

“No,” Lev said in a tiny voice, pulling at Destris’ grip on his face weakly.

“No what? Don’t you love me?”

Lev pulled back a second time, even as his eyes filled again. “No. You’re not Cameron.”

Destris’ grip on his face never faltered, though the hands holding him changed. “Is this better?” Nik’s voice asked.

Lev jerked back again, shoving at Destris’ chest with one hand. In the next heartbeat Destris had snapped his fingers. Lev screamed, hunching over, but Destris wouldn’t even allow that, stopping him with a palm to Lev’s forehead. The next sob that bubbled up damn near choked Lev as he stared up at Nik’s face, vision swimming.

“Let me go. Please,” Lev whimpered.

To his surprise, Destris did. For a few seconds Lev just curled inwards, shocked by the release and overwhelmed by the pain. Nothing happened, even when Lev tottered to his feet. It was a game, Lev realised with dawning horror. Destris really was going to just let Lev walk right out that door and drag him right back in.

That didn’t stop Lev from stumbling past and down the porch, though. He made it to the mailbox at the end of his yard, and Destris had barely even stepped onto the porch. The demon was definitely just toying with him.

Lev leaned against the mailbox anyway, forcing his fingers back the way they should be with a strangled cry, and forced healing down his hands. They’d be fucked up and crooked, but at least the pain eased. He tossed another glance over his shoulder, in time to see Destris shift. A massive black panther was now loping across the lawn.

Lev bolted this time, but he didn’t even make it ten paces before the solid weight of Destris’ demonic form hit his shoulders, sending him face first into the sidewalk. Claws pricked through his jacket, a warning. The hot breath on Lev’s neck was a warning too.

Destris grabbed Lev’s hoodie between his teeth and started hauling Lev back towards the house again. Lev twisted, despite the futality, scrabbling with the zipper until he tumbled free. He barely got to his feet before a lazy swipe of Destris’ paw sent him sprawling again.

As easily as a cat would flip a beetle, Destris rolled Lev onto his back, planting a massive paw on Lev’s chest to pin him there. Practically hyperventilating, Lev stared up at him, unable to take his eyes off the fangs Destris flashed at him.

Maybe he should have, because a moment later claws were digging into his stomach, shredding the soft flesh there with little care of what damage it caused. Lev thrashed, shrieking as he shoved up against Destris, and only got his arm clamped between the demon’s jaws.

Pain radiated from both, stronger than it should have been, and only growing worse. Lev barely registered Destris dragging him back up the stairs. The pain swelled until it was the only thing was aware of, and by the time it faded to a steady pulse of agony he could think through, he’d lost all grasp of how much time had passed.

When he lifted his head, his breath rasping in his throat, Destris was seated in one of his arm chairs, watching him over the top of one of Lev’s battered romance novels. Blood caked off of Lev as he tried and failed to push himself up. His magic was moving sluggishly, barely any left, which explained why his stomach was still oozing yet more blood steadily. Rather than keep pushing, Lev dropped back down on the floor, exhausted. He could taste blood, the sickeningly sweet flavor flooding his mouth every time he gave a wheezing cough.

“Do you imagine Cameron wooing you like these characters?” Destris asked. Lev couldn’t muster up the energy to reply, Destris added, “He’s not capable of it.”

Lev closed his eyes. “I’m not stupid,” he finally croaked. “I know he isn’t. I don’t expect him to.” He sucked in a ragged breath. “He doesn’t owe me a damn thing.”

Destris gave a laugh. “The mark of true love.”

“He doesn’t love me,” Lev said after a long stretch of silence. “I don’t expect that either.”

“I didn’t say he did. Cameron doesn't and can’t love anyone. You however, do love him. And that is why I can play with you.”

Lev didn’t have an answer for that. He pressed a hand against his stomach, curling inwards on himself as he coughed hard. When he wiped his mouth with his free hand, it came back gold. He mumbled against the carpet, "What have I done to you? Why are you doing this?"

Destris closed the book. “You’re ruining my bastard with your soft heart.”

It took several seconds for that to process, but eventually Lev managed, “Eden?” He shoved a hand underneath himself, biting back a sob as he forced himself to sit up so he could stare at Destris properly.

“No,” Destris said, amused. “The other one.”

The sarcasm in his tone made Lev wince. “There’s nothing wrong with teaching her to be kind,” Lev finally said tiredly. “You could benefit from a few lessons yourself.”

Destris’ smile did nothing to calm Lev. “Are you offering?”

“Are you actually willing to learn?” Lev shot back, pressing his hand against his stomach harder, willing the last of his magic to close up at least the outside of his wound. There wasn’t much he could do about the internal bleeding, not right now.

"You dont need to teach me how to fuck you. But if you want to bad enough, I can offer that kindness."

Lev flinched, eyes going wide. “I- that’s not- that’s not what I meant.”

Destris cocked his head, watching Lev. “Isn’t it though?”

“That’s not a kindness,” Lev said, unable to lift his voice above a whisper.

"That's the kindest thing I could do for someone who's destroyed countless numbers of my people."

“I wasn’t- I never fought in the war.” Lev pulled his hand away from his stomach. Barely scabbed over, the best he could do. “I don’t hurt people. Angel, demon, human, witch. I don’t- I don’t do that. I won’t.”

“All Angels are guilty in the gods' eyes.”

Lev didn’t know what to say. He had no defense. It wasn’t his fault who his parents were, and it wasn’t fair to blame him for that. Not that Lev’s silence mattered. Destris seemed bored, standing. Before Lev could register what he was doing, he planted a vicious kick in Lev’s stomach, tearing open whatever Lev had managed to heal, and making everything far worse. Lev crumpled with an awful wheeze, choking on the too-sweet taste of his own blood.

"Broken toys have no use to me,” Destris said, leaning over Lev’s limp form.

It was several minutes before Lev realized he was gone. It was several more before he could drag himself towards the kitchen. Destris still had his phone, but Lev had always been old fashioned, and he had a landline around here somewhere.

When he found it, he yanked the cord that plugged the base in until the cordless phone toppled to the floor beside him. It took more than one try to dial, but eventually he curled up on the floor, one hand holding his stomach closed, the other holding the phone to his ear.

When the other line picked up, Lev closed his eyes, whispering faintly, “Cam- Cameron? I made a mistake.”

tagging: @idreamonpaper @incandescent-creativity @livvywrites @halstudies​ @alittleyellowdinosaur

[andrea-lyn]

While You Were Sleeping is my favorite holiday movie! I'd love this AU with Malex for the holiday prompt thing!!

deck the hallsmichael/alex, presumed kyle/michael, pg-13

The corridor of a hospitalis the last place in the world that Michael wants to be, but here he is.It’s been a hell of a day and he’d snuck off to talk to Isobel, curled up in awaiting chair, wondering how the hell he’s going to break the news of whathappened to her. “You sound like shit,” is the first thing she says whenMichael says hello. “And I thought that I was the miserable one.’

“What happened?” Michael asks, more than happy to let Isobel talk his ear offabout her unfortunate life.The dismissive noise Isobel makes doesn’t bode well for her going on about it.“Nothing serious, just the guy I was seeing ghosted me.”“Asshole.”“Tell me about it,” Isobel harrumphs. “Why do you sound like shit?”“There was…an incident.”The reason why Isobel is his favorite sibling is because she lets him rantabout what happened on the subway late last night on his way home from a ridiculousshift. Around that time, there’s only ever him and another guy (who’s kindahot, admittedly), but happens to sound like a self-important asshole on thephone. He’s a doctor or something, but clearly he’d been out of it because he’dfumbled near the edge of the platform just as the subway had been coming.Michael had been too far away to grab him back.That didn’t mean he didn’t use his powers. He’d hauled hard and pulledthe man back until he’d smacked his head on the subway platform. Cut to a fewhours later and here he is at the hospital where someone’s at least identifiedthe guy as Dr. Valenti, who happens to work here. They’ve also called hisfamily. As of this morning, Michael happens to be part of it because he’s lied and saidthat he’s the boyfriend.

“Michael…” Isobel chides.“I know! I know, I fucked up. So now I gotta wait and see if this guy remembersme using my powers to save his life,” he complains sharply, glancing around tosee if anyone is close enough to eavesdrop. The early hour of the morning meansthat he’s safe, but he still hates that he’s in this situation. “I don’t knowhow long I’m gonna be here, but I’ll try and swing by at some point. We candrink to the shitty boyfriend you’ve got.”“I really thought this time was the one,” Isobel says quietly, and Michaelhates that even in this stressful hour, his first thought is to go comfort her.“Whatever. I’ll drink my feelings away. You go make sure our secret isn’t aboutto get blown to pieces.”“Can do,” Michael vows and tucks the phone back into his pocket before he getsback to his feet, trying to ignore the clinical and overwhelmingly sanitizedenvironment around him. When you’re an alien, you have a lot of nightmares about getting dissected in aplace like this, but it’s worth it to endure to guarantee that doesn’thappen. Michael trudges back into the hospital room and stares down at KyleValenti’s comatose body in the bed. The doctors keep saying that his brainswelling has been going down and he could wake up any minute with allthese hints of promise in their voice like they want to cheer him up. Then,Michael’s the one who lied about being his boyfriend, which means they want tokeep his spirits lifted. It’s a necessary lie, because if Kyle Valenti wakes up and finds out that theguy who saved his life used alien powers to do it, Michael might be under amicroscope real fast. He settles in beside the bed, digging out his book so he can pass the time. ItMichael’s lucky, then he’ll wake up and he’ll figure out if he knows anything(and if he does, then Isobel’s down here instantly to wipe it away).If he’s lucky, this will all be over soon. Of course, since when has Michael ever been lucky?“My baby,” a mother’s lament is the first thing Michael hears when a womanbursts into the room to make a bee-line to Kyle’s side, collecting his hand inhers. Behind her is a man her age and a young woman who’s trying to keep herdistance. Michael knows that they’d alerted the family, but he’d been hoping they’dshow up a little later, that maybe Kyle would wake up before then. The mother kisses Kyle’s hand rapidly, fretfully, and then looks up at Michaelwith a suspicious eye. “Who are you?”Michael stands slowly, rubbing his palms anxiously over his thighs. “I’mMichael,” he introduces himself, knowing that this isn’t going to go over well,but it’s lie or die (maybe literally if his secret gets out). “Kyle’s myboyfriend,” he says, because he needs to be here, and it’s not like ‘goodfriend’ is going to do the trick. “I was with him when he went into the comaand I’m so worried, I…”The parents eye each other, then glance back to Michael, before their gazesland on Kyle.“Rosa,” they say to the young woman. “Did you know…?”Whatever reaction Michael’s anticipating, he doesn’t get a chance for it,because the chaos only grows when Kyle gets yet another visitor. “I heard the news, is Kyle…” The man skids to a stop inside the hospital room,gaping at Michael holding Kyle’s hand. “…okay? Is he brain damaged?” he demandsinstantly to Rosa.“Easy,” Rosa mutters under her breath.“Who the hell are you?”“I’m Michael, Kyle’s boyfriend. Who are you?” he retorts, his hackles up.“Alex Manes, his best friend, who he tormented in high school for beinggay.”Fuck.“What can I say, Kyle’s grown recently,” Michael lies (badly). He awkwardlypats Kyle’s hand a few times as if that’s going to help him out while he staresat Alex warily. “We’ve been keeping things quiet,” he says, hoping that maybethat’ll go over better.“He did say he was seeing someone,” Kyle’s mother says in the corner. “Wedidn’t think it was a…”The awkwardness practically bleeds in the room, which makes this Alex guy rollhis eyes and look like he wants to take Kyle’s IV bag and hook it into his ownveins, if only to escape the idiocy. Michael thinks that this is a tense familysituation that he absolutely doesn’t belong in. Still, it’s not like he can getout of there without completely blowing his cover, so Michael awkwardly takesKyle’s hand even tighter into his own and threads their fingers together,trying to ignore the way Alex is staring at him.Luckily, Rosa and Kyle’s parents descend on the situation and ignore Michaeleven though he’s right there. He probably should be more irritated about thefact that they’re ignoring him like this, but it’s a relief. Besides, not everyone is ignoring him. Michael’s pretty sure Alex hasn’t takenhis eyes off him since he showed up in the room. He’s also the most stubbornwhen it comes to leaving, as Michael soon finds out.Even though Michelle and Jim head home for new clothes and Rosa heads out whenshe starts falling asleep, Alex stays. Alex always stays, and for the firstnight, Michael sits awkwardly with him in silence, but the second night, hedecides the lack of conversation is ridiculous.“Why are you so pissed at the idea that Kyle might be bi?” Michael questionshim. It's probably not smart to poke the bear (so to speak), but Michael’s genuinelycurious why it’s such a big deal. Alex has been scribbling in a notebook andlooks up, alarmed and somewhat surprised that he’s being addressed, but thepart Michael doesn’t understand is why the tips of his ears go a little red. This is gonna be good, he realizes. “He bullied me endlessly in high school because I was gay,” Alex protests. “Heshouldn’t get to just suddenly have a surprise hot boyfriend like you.”Yup, definitely good.Michael hides his smile behind his hand, shifting in his chair to give Alex afond look. “Hot boyfriend, huh?” There’s something about Alex that Michael’sreally enjoying. For one, that sassy and sharp in-your-face opinionatedpersonality reminds him of Isobel, but god, he’s so much hotter. The eyelinerhe’s wearing makes his eyes look soft and big, and Michael keeps glancing downto his fingers, imagining those varnish-coated nails and how they’d look whilehe gave Michael a handjob.Meeting someone when you’re posing as someone else’s boyfriend is absolutely ashitty way to connect, but Michael feels like somehow, he can make this work.“I’m not exactly a catch. I don’t even rank high enough at the school I teachto get lab time other than the late shift. That’s how Kyle and I…” He clearshis throat and shrugs. “It’s how I met him.” His gaze slides over Alex and hegestures to the notebook. “You a writer?”“Singer,” Alex admits. “I’m not famous or anything, but I was hoping that oneday maybe I’d have at least one good song.”Michael can only imagine the songs Alex might play and he lets out a soft catchof breath to think of Alex singing to him, his voice soft in his ear, hisbreath warm on his neck. “Maybe you can sing some to me,” he offers, swallowingpast his dry throat.Alex is staring at Michael’s lips, Michael swears he is, as he says,“Maybe I will.”From there on out, Michael makes sure that he’s always in the room at nightwhen Alex is visiting so they can spend time together. Alex brings his guitar,and they end up talking about the songs Alex writes and how they remind him ofhis terrible childhood before the Valentis adopted him. They talk aboutMichael’s career and how he’s feeling like he’s swimming upstream because hedoesn’t like the networking aspect it takes to get tenure. Their conversationsonly get deeper and eventually, they end up curled up together under one of thebigger couches, Michael’s jacket draped over them like a blanket.Nearby, Kyle lies in a coma, and Michael’s supposed to be his boyfriend. He really needs to wake up soon, because Michael feels weird dumping a guy whenhe’s unconscious.Luckily (or unluckily, given how there’s no knowing how it’s going to go) forMichael, he gets his wish. Michael’s in the middle of getting coffee for himself and Alex when he hears ahuge commotion nearby and sees nurses rushing into Kyle’s room. Given the chaosof beeping noises nearby, along with a man’s voice he vaguely recognizes, itcan only mean one thing. “He’s awake!” Rosa says gleefully, passing Michael in the hall as she bolts forKyle’s room from the waiting lounge. Michael swears under his breath and checksthe time. It’s late, which means his parents aren’t there, but Alex and Rosaare. He’d really been hoping to be there alone when Kyle woke up, but it’s notlike he’s getting lucky today, is he? Trudging along, Michael marches towards his fate, hoping that he can somehowconvince a complete stranger to play along. He plasters a smile on his face andstands in the doorway as the nurses go through the routines, checking vitalsand coping with Kyle’s stubborn demand that he can help, since he's a doctor.He can feel Alex’s hand at the small of his back, which makes him startleslightly as Michael looks at him, wishing that Alex didn’t look so worried andupset. “This is good,” Alex says quietly, even though he sounds miserable aboutit. “He’s awake.”“Yeah,” Michael agrees, feeling the lump in his throat grow. He's glad he has the excuse to stay out of the way while the nurses check hisvitals, but eventually they leave and the doctor’s given Kyle the all-clear tosee his family and friends, which means that Michael now has to approach theterrifying reality of figuring out what Kyle knows, while Rosa and Alex linger(and Kyle’s parents arrive soon, given that they were called the moment Kyleawoke). Michael stands frozen at the side of his bed, forcing a smile on his face,trying to communicate his best, ‘play along with me’ look using only hiseyes.“Hey,” he says with a softness in his tone, watching as Kyle swivels his gazeto make eye contact with him. Lucky for him, annoying sisters (even half ones) are always going to demand attention,which means that before Kyle can blow his cover, she intervenes. “Yourboyfriend was worried,” Rosa teases, poking him in the shoulder. “Also, fuckyou for not telling me that you got cool!” she accuses, as she shoves Michaelinto the visitor’s chair so he can be close to Kyle. Michael goes, even if he looks up at Alex with a guilty expression, thinking ofall the hot chocolates they shared together, all the times they slept curled upunder Michael’s jacket, and all the secrets they’ve confessed to one another inthe early hours of the hospital’s garish lights. There’s only one man in thisroom that Michael wants to date and it’s not the one in the hospital bed.Plus, he’s been lying his ass off and Michael closes his eyes tightly, fistingthe bedsheets, waiting for the impact of his lies to come home to roost.“Hey, baby,” says Kyle, reaching out to squeeze his hand. “I’m glad you came tostay with me, even with things the way they’ve been.”Wait.Hold on.What the fuck? Did Michael have a stroke? Did Kyle? Out of the corner ofhis eye, he sees Alex’s face fall. Michael gets it, because right now, he’sstruggling to understand what’s happening. Does Kyle have some weird amnesia?Did Michael gain a new alien power or is he learning from Isobel? Finding his voice, Michael hears himself croak, “Could I have a minute alonewith Kyle, please?”Rosa and Alex glance at one another, then to Kyle. “Dad and your Mom are goingto be here soon,” she warns.“One minute,” Kyle insists. “We’ll be quick.”They both look wary about leaving, but there’s no argument from them as they go,with Michael watching Alex the whole time, forlorn and freaking out about howhe’s going to explain this, and wanting so badly to go after him instead ofstaying here, but he’s taking advantage of this chance to find out what Kyleknows. The moment they’re alone, Michael turns towards Kyle instantly. “So,” Michael says, when he’s pretty sure no one is eavesdropping. “You’re a handsomeguy, don’t get me wrong, but what the fuck?”Kyle struggles to sit up in bed and on impulse, Michael bolts forward to helphim with the pillows. Kyle really is handsome, but he’s a stranger to Michaeland everything that he’s learned about him means that he seems great, but healso seems completely not Michael’s type. He’s way too responsible and puttogether and he doesn’t feel that spark the way he does with Alex.“You saved me on that platform.”“Yeah, I grabbed you back with my hand…”“No.” Kyle says it firmly. “You saved me with your powers. I’m guessing that’swhy you’re still hanging around my hospital room weeks later and lying toeveryone,” Kyle says, narrowing his eyes. “You were worried that I was gonnatell someone that an alien saved my life?”What the actual fuck?“What the hell is going on?”“Can you hand me my phone?” Kyle requests, groaning as he reaches out.“Isobel’s gonna have my head if I don’t text her soon. I’ve been in the comafor what, thirteen days? Fuck,” he says, shaking his head. “If she hasn’tbroken up with me already, she’s going to now.”Kyle is the guy. No, not just the guy, he’s The Guy. He’s Isobel’ssteady boyfriend who she’d told their secret to (something Max had hated, butIsobel felt strongly that she had to do it, because she’d told Michael that shecould see herself marrying him someday).“What the fuck?” Michael says out loud this time.“Isobel showed me some pictures of her brothers,” Kyle says, as he texts,staring down at his phone. “I kept staring at you on the platform while wecommuted, trying to figure out how to broach the ‘hey, I’m dating your sisterand thinking about proposing’, but it never felt like the right time. I guessit serves me right nearly dying and you having to save me.”There are so many things happening that Michael needs to process. “So, you met my family, huh? I mean, it was gonna happen eventually, but alittle ahead of schedule,” Kyle jokes, his voice rough. He stares at his phoneand sighs with relief, not paying Michael any attention. “Well, I’m definitelyin trouble, but she’s not dumping me. She says you’re in a shitload of trouble,and…” Kyle trails off, glancing up at Michael. “And that you’ve got a stupidbig crush on Alex?”Michael swears under his breath, regretting all those texts to Isobel askingfor advice about his problem. “Look, just tell me you’re not about to go shouting about my secret to anyone,”Michael insists. “And I’ll get out of your hair, okay? I mean, I’ll do thefamily dinner thing when you propose to Iz, but I think maybe this is all gonnabe awkward when suddenly you dump me and hook up with my sister,” he scoffs.“Maybe.”“Oh, right, maybe,” Michael mocks.Kyle gives Michael a challenging lift of his brow. “Hey everyone,” he calls, alittle louder, like he knows that they’re all lingering outside the room likethe nosy assholes they are. “You can come in now.”It’s a flurry of activity when they rush in. Jim and Michelle rush Kyle andpress kisses to his forehead and hair, the three of them exchanging whispersabout how much they love each other. Michael clears his throat to look away,not wanting to feel jealous about the supportive parents Kyle has. The onlyother place to look is at Rosa, who’s beaming at Kyle and looking like she’sirritated to feel that way about him, or Alex, who’s still looking crushed.Better to focus on Rosa, then. Kyle reaches out for Michael’s hand in the midst of this sweet reunion,forcibly yanking on him to get him back by his side (his elbow actually popsout, so what the fuck Valenti). “I wanted you guys to be the first to know thatMichael and I have decided to call it quits,” he says, acting chagrined andsorrowed. It’s not a half-bad performance, especially when you consider thatthey’re both getting something out of this.“Oh, honey, why?” Michelle asks. “You only just woke up again and Michael’sbeen here every day waiting for you.”“Things have been tense between us for a while, seeing as I’m in love withanother woman and I’m pretty sure Michael’s got feelings for someone else,” hesays.Michael glares at him, ready to have his head for selling him out like that.“Kyle,” he hisses.“Alex, he’s got a crush on you,” Kyle says bluntly. “The girl I’ve been seeingfor a while behind Michael’s back, she’s his sister and she spilled the beans.”“Kyle Manuel Valenti!” his mother snaps.“No, it’s okay,” Michael ekes out. “It’s true. Things were tense, like we neverspoke. It was like we didn’t even know one another,” he says, staring at Kyle.“If Isobel is the one who makes him happy, then I want him to be with her,because I…” He turns to stare at Alex, knowing that he hadn’t planned to dothis with an audience, but it could be worse. “I really like you,” he admits.“While Kyle was asleep, I learned all about you and you’re this wickedly funnyand sharp and sweet guy, and you’re super hot, and I love that the first timeyou met me, you thought I was out of Kyle’s league.”“Hey!”“Oh, please, he is,” Alex snorts, but he’s clearly enraptured by Michael’swords. “Go on,” he says teasingly. “Now you’re just fishing,” Michael gets out with a strangled laugh, finding hisway to his feet so he can cross the room to stand in front of Alex. “Look, Iknow we only met because of this insane circumstance, but I think maybe I’dlike to go out to dinner with you. I feel like I already know you, like weconnected, like something…”“Cosmic,” Alex fills in the blank for him, his voice soft. “I know. I felt ittoo and I was so jealous that you were here for Kyle, but if what you’re sayingis true…”“It is,” Michael hurries to cut him off. “I was here out of obligation, but Istayed for you.” He reaches out for Alex’s hand, tugging him in towardsMichael’s personal space. “Come have dinner with me? Please?” he asks quietly. “Alex!” Rosa interrupts, when a second passes with an answer. “Don’tleave us hanging!”“Meddling family,” Alex says fondly, shaking his head. “Yes,” he says, andgrins at Michael. “Yes, I’ll go out with you.”It’s probably not the right place for it, but Michael grabs Alex’s face so hecan kiss him, leaning forward on his tiptoes to trip right into it, desperateto have the kiss that he’s been thinking about since the day he met Alex inthis hospital. Alex grabs at the collar of Michael’s jacket and hauls him infor a deeper kiss. Kyle says nothing, but Michael swears he can feel the smug satisfactionradiating behind him. In response to that, he does the only thing he thinks is right in this particularsituation. He kisses Alex even harder. *The next time that Michael sees Kyle at the subway station, he heads over toknock into him with his elbow. “Hey, future brother-in-law,” he greets, seeingas the proposal had clearly gone well, from the way that Isobel had screamedover the phone at him. “How about you stay off the tracks this time?” he jokes,even though it’s not the first time he’s seen him here since the incident, butMichael never lets a day go by without making the joke.Kyle raises his brow in that infuriating know-it-all way.“Did my coma not get you a boyfriend out of my adopted brother?”God, he’s annoying and he’s marrying into Michael’s family, which means he’snever going to escape him. “Gonna hang that one over me the rest of my life,huh? It couldn’t be that I was a super devoted fake-boyfriend through yourcoma, or maybe I was worried about the stranger I saved?”“You wanted to make sure I’d keep my mouth shut and then stayed for the hotguy, so uh, yeah. Nope. I’m definitely hanging this over you for the rest ofyour life.”He’s got him there, but then, Michael thinks he’s probably allowed to feelsuperior and smug about the fact that he helped to get Michael and Alextogether, because without Kyle’s coma, then Michael never would have met him,never would have learned about him, and never would have loved him. For that, Kyle can have bragging rights for centuries.“I’ll see you at the rehearsal dinner,” Kyle says, when he gets onto his trainand they part ways. “Don’t propose to Alex there, please?” he begs. “I want oneday for me and Isobel, not for you to marry into my family because you missRosa so much.”Michael shrugs, waiting until the doors are closing and will separate them.“No promises!” he shouts, and indulges in the frustrated look on Kyle’s face asthe subway carries him off to a day of worrying that he’s going to get upstagedat his own rehearsal dinner. Perfect. It’s going to be a great day and this is just the start. Even if he doesn’thave any intention of proposing to Alex at the dinner (he has the ring pickedout, but he intends to do it way more romantically, with a self-penned song andeverything), there’s only one thing he loves almost as much as he loves Alexand it’s winding Kyle up.Given the annoyed text he gets from Isobel pleading with him to stop annoyingKyle, Michael gets on the train heading uptown with a smirk on his face,thinking that it’s definitely working out, for all of them.