#ive been away i almost got my dream job but then i didnt lol but thats ok

[sylvanpriest]

[arlecchno]

5 hours of sleep squad …. i honestly dont know how well i sleep but today i had a dream and alhaitham and kaveh were in it (i only got to chat w haitham tho) i was in this gigantic ass library type thing and it looked so cool , the entire thing was made out of dark brown wood and it was so pretty (i actually had another dream where i was in the same building before where i was running errands around the “school” HAHAH) but yeah since it was a library / school type place i was obviously there to learn shiz and — this is the weird part — the lesson was on dreams !!!!!!! and like bro ?? are my dreams becoming self aware ? 😨 i thought the lesson was interesting but alhaitham tried to gaslight me into not liking it (an exaggeration , he just thought i was lying when i said it was interesting) i think he was supposed to be like ,,, a helper to me in the dream idfk it was funky as hell - sorry for going off on a tangent about my dream LMFAO

WHSJSJ fischl is my baby shes one of the first 4*s i got and i kinda relate to her on some level , i too love playing pretend , but mostly when i was younger id pretty much spend all my recess roleplaying with my friends . trying to imitate my favorite characters is a pastime ive always enjoyed , and it honestly makes me insanely happy when people say i kinda act like my faves (ig its smth i do subconsciously LOL) because its like “WAIT . THEY THINK IM LIKE THIS INSANELY COOL CHARACTER I LOVE WITH A BURNING PASSION ???? [inaudible screaming]” recently ive found myself a new genshin rp friend and . dude . id never have thought that playing as alhaitham would be so goddamn fun . screenies for funnies:

(making cynos joke was so much fun too so i included it)

bro i lost my mf 50/50 to jeAN on haithams banner - not even a diluc , tall men hate me ig LMAO and it really doesnt help that ive been drained as hell from school lately so ive been slacking w my fricking primo farming ;_;

YESS the fungi event was lovely but tbh … the entire event i was just yelling about how i wanted to see cyno HAHAHAH - i suffer with chronic writers block (/hj) so . like . [dead alex sound]

GREAT NEWS my injury has healed hooray !!

absolutely , escaping school is great , id probably go on more field trips if it didnt mean id have to do makeup work tbh , i hate doing makeup work .

DINGDINGDING ! YOU ARE CORRECT ! the region i was going for was indeed mondstadt ! aster (my oc) lives in mond and is originally from khaenriah , im glad i didnt draw in their face yet because their eyes wouldve totally given away the fact they were khaenriahn LOL

my week was honestly pretty busy (atleast to my tiny brains standards , i feel like you could also tell by how long it took me to send another ask 😭😭) i had two tests today (that i frickin ACED HAHA im so proud of myself) one of my friends and some guy i share a bunch of classes with also gave me pieces of their cotton candy and the guy told me good job for actually doing my work LMFAO (i usually fall asleep in that class … haha ,,) and one of my other friends complained about also wanting food so i called him friendless (even though i thought the guy who gave me a piece of cotton candy didnt like me so i dont think he counts as a friend ??) my friend also recently introduced me to a series they liked and now im practically obsessed because DELICIOUS . i also recently did heizous hangout quest and GODDAMN he - he is so . im so gay for this detective motherfucker i was practically screaming at my ipad … haha …… heizou is honestly so my type he has such a way with words and i DO NOT know why a lot of npcs / characters in game talk about him negatively how do people not like him - yeah but i also almost went on a full genshin lore tangent to my ipad because of my uncontrollable urge to explain things SMH . oh my god the part where heizou said that he wanted us to be his partner all the time and i just straight up actually screamed , yes heizou ill be your partner forever if yk what i mean - HAHAHAH i also made a collection of goofy genshin triangles on one of my friends old schoolwork in math class hehe

aaaanyways id like to return your question ! how have your recent days been ? and if you dont deem anything of note or dont want to share , if you could choose anyone in genshin to share a house / be roommates with who would you choose ? (since these are again two questions , if you want , fire back two as well !) also , dude i have a terrible habit of rambling like crazy , so i totally dont mind if you ramble and stuff in replies (because i do that wayy too much as well LOL)

— jellyfish

HELLOO TO YOU!!!! your dream sounds so funny LOL in the 2 years i've played genshin i've never had any genshin characters appear in my dreams,,, it's always boring ones that revolve around my life. but nevertheless your dream made me imagine how alhaitham would act around you 😭 and the way he tried to gaslight you LMAO he's so cute and goofy

haha i love how enthusiastic you are about fischl!!! we all have that one character that we have an undying love for to the point that everyone you know in life knows them (for me that'd be kazuha,, every time someone sees him it'd just remind them of me hehe)

THE RPS LMAO “i just find you rather annoying.” THAT'S SUCH AN ALHAITHAM THING TO SAY!!! also i'm pretty oblivious so this just made me realize that the denial is a river in egypt tiktok meme is also pointing out the fact that the nile. is a river. in egypt???? i just found out it's a wordplay thing???? denial (the nile)???? damn i really thought it's like a random word being thrown to make it seem exaggerated or something 😭😭😭 i'm really dumb LMAO how did i not figure that out sooner 🙁🙁🙁 the fact that i know the nile is a river in egypt is embarrassing too like it never occurred to me to piece the puzzles together...

man that sucks 😭😭 i remember when you messaged me on genshin talking about it LOL please humbly accept my offer of my c2 diluc to you,,, he's been in my hands far too long and i cannot fathom the fact that he keeps appearing in my 50/50's (tighnari pls come home i beg). i was on a 50/50 for haitham too and the very loud sigh of relief i let out when he finally came home is insane. i've basically farmed everything in the new area (i have 99% exploration progress now due to it) and have milked my welkin for him so i'm glad he actually came home... the things i'd do if diluc appeared in screen instead should be left unsaid 🤗

YAYY GLAD TO HEAR YOU'RE WELL NOW!!!

aster is such a badass name and the fact that they're originally from khaenriah???? awesome as hell. hope they're besties with kaeya because that would be totally legen... wait for it, dary!!!! (cue my love for barney in himym i just had to quote him)

also very glad to see that your week has been going okay!!! would love some cotton candy rn tbh they're so good </3

and heizou's hangout quest.... honestly same. i haven't exactly finished all of the endings but i've done some and it made me squeal and giggle every time he flirted with us 😭 made me feel like a total loser with his charming words bro i can't believe the npcs in game have such negative views on him because me personally if i was in the game, i'd immediately fold for him the second he breathes in front of me HAHA i'm . not weird at all.

my week has been slow actually, i finished my finals a while ago so we have nothing to do now so i've been doing absolutely nothing at school LOL! senior year is coming up soon so i might be more busy and focusing more on my studies... it's sure gonna be hell for me.

and recently i've been packing up my stuff because i'm moving out!! (hence why i haven't posted a new asphodelus chapter lol i've been so busy). it's been rather slow for me tho since i have a lot of stuff and it's kinda hard to choose the ones i'd have to throw or give away because like,, i love all of my stuff 😭 my mom has helped me with some but i still got a shit ton of stuff to declutter. basically everything is a mess rn

other than that, i think everything's been a-okay! i'm just reaally busy with irl stuff now but i think i can survive through them :D (i hope i do because i am one inch away from going insane). also my mom's been trying to convince me to drive lately since i'm supposed to start now but i have been avoiding it,,, it's scary being on the road and i am far from ready to risk my life 😔

as for your question, i think out of everyone, i'd choose kazuha. before you say anything, i'm trying to not be as biased as i can since like kazuha is my favourite character ever— but yeah, i think i can accept the terms of living with the kaedehara kazuha. he's such a nice guy and although he's a very very lightweight and behind all that charming looks he's a pretty scary guy himself (cue that scene where he threatened that treasure hoarder in the archon quest that he'd brand his forehead with hot iron) i think i could actually survive living with him. he'd do his set of chores, i'd do mine, everyone gets their happy ending. if i were to live with my other favs like kuni and alhaitham i think i would just die. kuni would be rude as fuck and alhaitham would just bully his way out from doing our shared chores. i cannot deal with them. (i'm sorry my sweethearts i'll do you two justice one day)

time to give a question to you!!! how's your progress in genshin going? (it can be exploration wise, storyline, anything) and what's your current main genshin team rn :0

hope you're having a great day!!! it was fun talking with you hehe i've been dying to get an ask since the blog has been real quiet lately, and i'm glad it's you! have a wonderful day ahead :P

[anythingandeverything1d]

Congratulations

“(y/n)” the nurse called out from the door. You stood up and walked over with an anxious smile. She handed you a clip board of medical information that you needed to update and then said she would grab you once it was completed and turned into the desk. You sat back down in the waiting room and flipped through the pages. Ugh I wish my mom was here...am I allergic to anything? I mean I don't think so but maybe Im just unaware of it..I don't remember having surgery-well my tonsils were removed but does that count? You were filling out the page to the best of your ability when your phone buzzed. You looked down and saw his name flash across the screen before immediately ignoring the call. You rushed to finish the paperwork and handed it in as the nurse came back. “Ready?” she asked.

“Yeah.” you followed her down the hall where she took your height and weight before escorting you into the room. You hopped onto the chair and anxiously tapped your foot as she checked your temperature, blood pressure, and oxygen levels. After finishing up she sat on the stool and smiled. 

“So, what are we here for today?”

“Uh...” you looked at your feet and shifted in the chair. “I think I may be pregnant.”

She smiled and nodded, “when was your last period?” 

“My period tends to be irregular but the last one I had recored was around two months ago.”

“Okay, were you on any kind of birth controls, or using any type of contraceptives?”

“I was on a birth control, am on a birth control but I missed a few days while I was on vacation which is when I believe this all happened.”

“Okay. Have you had any symptoms other than your missed period?”

“No, not really.”

“Okay. Have you taken any pregnancy tests at home?”

You nodded, your brain flashing back to that day. 

*Tears were flooding down your cheeks as he grabbed his last hoodie from your closet. All you wanted was for life to stop. You wanted him to say its okay, to make a change in the relationship, to stay. You sat on the bed crying as he walked out the door for the last time, taking with him every once of happiness you had. You ran to the bathroom, physically sick from the situation. It wasnt until you were hunched over the toilet that you realized the box of tampons had gone unopened. Missing periods was normal for you, they had never been regular. There was a slight doubt in your mind though. You had never missed a period more than once, so the fact that you were going on two means something was wrong. You had been under a lot of stress though, the distance, the lying, the excuses, all of it. Wiping the snot running from your nose, you had gotten up, washed your face, and thrown on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. You had mustered the courage to drive all the way to the drug store, purchase three pregnancy tests, and drive home. You had gotten three, you wanted to be sure. You wanted to be positive before making any other decisions. You sat on the bathroom floor after peeing in a cup and dipped each end, turning them over so you couldn't see the lines. You set a timer on your phone and closed your eyes. The only thing that could've possibly made this situation better was having him here. Of course he was gone already but you could still dream right? When the alarm on your phone went off you anxiously flipped them all over. Picking the first up and squinting you saw the dreaded double lines. Picking the second one up: dreaded double lines. And the third: PREGNANT in bold. You dropped them all on the counter and threw your phone. Of course, of course this this happens. He leaves and I end up pregnant with his baby..just like the movies except he won't be coming back. The rest of the day had been a blur. You had kind of just ignored the fact that there were three positive pregnancy tests in the bathroom. When your friend Luke had come over, you had cried into his arms. Cried about him leaving, about the break up, and finally about being pregnant. “(y/n) if you have positive pregnancy tests you need to call him.”

“No. I can't do that. Im not doing that.”

“(y/n)...hes the father, he deserves to know.”

“I may not even be pregnant though..they come up wrong all the time.”

“Not this wrong though.. this seems pretty sure.”

“I mean I've been stressed lately maybe its just a hormone thing.”

“I think you should go to the doctor and check. And if you are then you need to ball up and tell him. Seriously he needs to know”

You had nodded and cried some more before Luke left. Then you had called your doctor and made an appointment.*

Now here you were answering questions about your sex life and body. The nurse handed you a cup and showed you where the bathroom was. She said the test would take only around ten minutes but that she would be coming back to the room to do a blood test as well. Great, what a fun day... You quickly peed in the cup, leaving it on the counter for the nurse and wandered back to the room you had been assigned. Your hands were sweating and you felt dizzy. Having your blood drawn was probably your least favorite thing. In fact, you fainted almost every time. You checked your phone and thought about texting him...instead you texted Luke and told him how terrible the doctor was and that you were going to die while having your blood drawn. His only response was “lol” and you rolled your eyes. Typical guy.. The nurse came back in with a smile and sat down. “Well it does look like you are in fact pregnant so congratulations! We want to do a pelvic exam and ultra sound today just to see where everything is at and then have you come back for a blood draw in the future.” 

“Thanks.” you smiled and relief flooded your face. At least you didnt have to have your blood drawn today. On the other hand, you were pregnant, which was a whole other nightmare in its own. Not that you hadn't wanted and dreamed of having kids. You just thought it would be under different circumstances and that you would be married. 

“Im going to leave this gown here if you just want to change real quick we can do an ultrasound and hopefully see where the little baby is at.” She left for a minute and you quickly changed, your warm body freezing against the chair. When she came back in, she had an ultrasound machine on wheels. She started with the pelvic exam, lightly pressing all around your pelvic region. Satisfied she got out a tube of gel. “This is going to be cold at first.” You had nodded and watched as the clear gel squirted out and the ultrasound machine rubbed against your skin. You watched the screen as she moved it around looking for the baby. After what felt like months, she found a small white dot looking blob and smiled. “There it is...looks like you are measuring around 2 months right now which makes sense to when you thought everything happened.” She looked at you and smiled. “I know it can be a lot to take in..I’m guessing this is your first?”

“Yeah...its just a lot I guess.”

“It is, but it gets easier. Want to hear the baby’s heartbeat?”

You smiled and nodded. She pressed a button and you heard soft thumps. Tears slipped out of the corner of your eye and you wiped them away. “Thats pretty cool.”

She smiled and nodded before handing you a towel. “You are all set to go, we will have the pictures at the desk where you can make your next appointment. It was nice meeting you (y/n) good luck on your pregnancy and congratulations again.” You smiled and thanked her before climbing back into your clothes. 2 months pregnant...theres a living being in there...my baby...mine and Harry’s baby...oh god, what am I going to tell Harry? At the desk you scheduled another appointment and the receptionist handed you a picture saying congratulations. You looked at the little pea shaped blob inside you and grinned. Thats mine...thats inside me. 

Luke surprised you by standing at your car door with an ice cream sundae. “Soo did you faint? did you die? did you live?”

You laughed, “Yeah I lived. I didnt have my blood drawn at all actually.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” You took the sundae from him and smiled taking a bite, the hot fudge melting in your mouth. 

“Because of this.” you waved the picture in your hand and he grabbed it his mouth dropping. 

“Is that what I think it is? Do you have an alien growing inside you?”

“Lukeee seriously”

He laughed and looked into your eyes. “Okay okay but wow, a baby. That’s amazing. How are you feeling about it?”

“I feel like it hasn't sunk in yet....but that I’m really happy. I mean Ive always wanted a baby...why not do it now? I don't need a man in my life. Im a strong and independent woman.”

“That you are, but don't worry you will have me too. Im going to be a great uncle, its the best job anyways. But uh- are you going to tell Harry?” 

You shrugged your shoulders and continued eating. “(y/n)...it is his baby right?”

You rolled your eyes and nodded. “It cant be anyone else's.”

“So then you're going to tell him.”

“Idontknow” you mumbled, your mouth full of ice cream.

“You have to..you know he would want to know.”

“Theres a lot I wanted to know and he didn't tell me so I’m not sure yet. I haven't decided anything.”

“Okay...” he gave in and hugged you. “I’m happy for you I really am.” 

You hugged him back and smiled. “Thanks. I’m glad you're here...I’m glad I have someone to go through this with. And I’m so so glad you brought ice cream.”

“It’s okay. What are friends for right?” You nodded and jumped in the car after saying goodbye. You didn’t quite know who to call yet so you decided to just enjoy some time with yourself. You did the only logical thing you could think of after finding out that there was a baby inside you: you went shopping. You picked a local baby store and walked in, looking at all the onesies, furniture, blankets, binkies, and bears. 

“Hi! Anything I can help you find today?”

“No, thank you I’m just looking.”

“Okay well we are having a two for one deal on onesies and bibs so make sure to check those out.”

“I will thank you.” you smiled at the girl working but she kept looking back at you. 

“Are you (y/n)...the girl dating Harry Styles?” she asked shyly.

“I was dating him, not anymore actually.” She nodded and gave you the look, you know the one of pity and sorrow? You went back to shopping looking at all of the little outfits, there were so many choices. You also had no idea if you were having a boy or a girl..something told you it was a boy but obviously you had no clue whatsoever. You decided on a cute grey onesie with little animals on it...gender neutral. You also grabbed a cute binkie that had a stuffed bear attached to it. 

“These are super cute.” the girl said while checking out. “There's a whole collection that goes with this if youre interested.”

“No, that's okay this is enough for now?”

She nodded and wrapped the stuff in a bag. “So how far along are you?”

“Not very far, only a few months.”

“Well congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly and I hope to see you back here soon for more stuff.”

You smiled and nodded. “I for sure will be back.” 

You drove home, your phone blowing up the entire way with twitter notifications, instagram tags, and more. Inside you scrolled through it, only to find pictures of you shopping for the baby clothes. Your name attached to headlines stating you were expecting but not far along. Great...this is not what I need...how do they even know.... you were scrolling through more twitter notifications. Harry’s name was now being brought into this. Another daddy in One Direction? Harry Styles Expecting? ugh...this literally cannot be happening.. and then everything got worse.. Harry’s name and photo popped up on your screen as he called. “Harry?” you answered anxiously.

---

Part 1 of my new series, hope you all enjoy! Goal is to have another part posted tonight or tomorrow! This is kind of just an intro to the story, I’m hoping to have them be a little longer but let me know what you all would rather: longer and less stories (may take more time to upload) or shorter and more stories (updated a little faster)

Let me know what you think so far and what you think will happen.

xoxo

[lavellane]

5 + 10 for emeraude, 14 + 18 for effie, 19 + 24 for arylene and 30 through 45 for imogen bc i love her so much ? 😏😏😏

fdjkfjkfdk thank u SO much maia i absolutely Treasure You !

EMERAUDE HAWKE - DA2

What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

emeraudes fashion sense is probably my favourite out of all my ocs, so uh if u havent looked at her pinterest board yet u should do that bc its Very cute hehehe

anyway for the most part she sticks to dark, practical clothing whenever she's out and about in kirkwall or doing merc work, etc. she picks clothes that convey strength and power, but she likes having a little bit of colour somewhere on the piece, just to keep things interesting. she's not much of an embroider, but was a good way to keep herself distracted during hard times, so she tends to add little patterns here and there whenever she gets the chance!

as for special occasions, for her this would actually just be. a quiet night at home or a relaxed gathering with her friends. bc its so rare for her to have that lmao. anyway for events like that she usually wears light colours and soft fabrics, simple but always decorated with flowers or colourful patterns.

What does your OC keep in a special drawer?

she has a collection of gifts ! that kids from lowtown would give her over the years she spent in kirkwall. she's a very community based person and wants to do right for her city, and shes very nurturing (in an ironical, Cool Big Sister way) so she likes making sure all the kids are safe and being looked after. she gets a lot of trinkets and strange gifts from some of the kids as a result, but she does treasure them (even if she laughs about it with her friends) and keeps them all !

EFFIE RYDER - MEA

Who is the mother and/or father figure in your OC’s life?

effie's maternal rolemodel has always been her late mother, ellen. nobody could really fill that role in her eyes, since they had such a close, positive relationship before she passed. her relationship with her dad was a lot more strained and it really impacted a lot of her relationships later on in life too ! she tends to.... see an older man who is Vaguely Nice to her, and then think “ oh, youre my dad now?” which isnt fair to anybody obviously but yeah she,,,, has a lot of unresolved issues regarding alec and tends to unintentionally project so. We stan !

How many times did your OC move as a child? Which area was his/her favorite?

oh constantly lol. With her dad being an n7 and her mother working so hard on her research, they tended to move around wherever her parents work required. she actually enjoyed it this way. she was never good at making long term friends, but she lived meeting new people, and obviously with the move she got to experience a lot of different cultures which really put the idea of adventuring and travelling in her head at a young age.

ARYLENE TORR - TES IV

What does your OC think of children- either in general or about having them?

she likes them ! she tends to keep her distance with most communities and groups of people in particular, but she does like enjoys having the odd conversation with the odd street urchin here and there, either sharing with them some strange, ridiculous life advice or – if shes feeling particularly chaotic – telling them the scariest stories she can think of. as for having them, arylene isnt AGAINST the idea, but she has far too much for the foreseeable future for that to ever be a good idea

Who are the people your OC dislikes/hates?

outwardly, arylene is an almost unbearably easy going person, so you would assume she doesnt hate anyone lol. but she does DEEEPLY dislike cults and groups of ignorant people who are arrogant enough to start messing with the balance of life, or making deals with gods, etc. she believes that people like that can do an unbelievable amount of damage, so she invests a lot of time and effort it sabotaging any group or plot she happens to find !

 IMOGEN FOSTER - RDR2

Did your OC participate in extracurricular activities, and if so, what were they?

hmm idk if this even EXISTED in 19th century london lol, but she would have done some very tame version of girl scouts as a child! She barely remembers any of it, but she liked the classes on what plants did what, which were safe to eat, and the likes. its something that helps her a lot when on the run with the gang, and something shes always had a personal interest in, as a nurse !

other than that, she’s done a lot of independent study on history, classical literature, and she speaks fluent italian we stan !

What is your OC’s opinion of school? What kind of student was s/he?

imogen comes from a very wealthy aristocratic family, so she was very fortunate that her privilege afforded her the education she got at the time. she is VERY grateful to have attended the schools she did, and she made sure to make the most of it, paying attention in class and studying harder than most of her classmates. she's a smart girl with a very active mind, so knowledge is something she can't get enough of. she was actually petitioning the board of education to allow her to attend university before she left for america – already their had been women accepted into universities at that time, but obviously it was still a very scandalous thing lol, especially since imogen wanted to study medicine.

What subjects did your OC excel at?

imogen is a HUGE overachiever and did pretty well at basically everything from science, mathematics, language studies and later on, in her studies as a nurse. i can tell you what shes bad at though lmao

anything physical really dkdkdks she is TERRIBLE at horse-riding since she usually just went by carriage everywhere in the city. art and poetry and writing in general she was never great at, because she's a pretty logical person and was told she never put enough emotion in her work lol !!! sports...obviously was very limited anyway as growing up in like? the early 1870s lol. and as for the traditionally feminine lessons in like ?? sewing and cooking and stuff well ! she was very average at them which made her  feel worse than if she was actually bad bc she's so used to excelling and making a name for herself oof

What subjects interested your OC?

Imogen loves greek literature and mythology !! the iliad is her favourite book and she keeps her heavily annotated, dog eared copy – a gift from her late father – on her person almost constantly. needless to say its why dutch admires her as much as he does lol.

obviously, as a nurse-trying-to-be-a-doctor, she has a great love for medicine in all its forms. she's always been fascinated in natural remedies, and even moreso when she's running with the van der linde gang and is really relying on the land to survive.

What is your OC’s dream job and/or current profession?

hmm okay so. Technically she's a nurse – she worked in her father's hospital for almost 10 years prior to his death, and she was sort of his unofficial understudy, as in she knows a LOT more than her job description requires lol. but after her father past away, another, less progressive man took his place as chief of surgery and made a lot of changes to the way the hospital operated, and imogen was let go. she and her mother were fighting against it, however, under the ground of unfair dismissal, but obviously given the time period it didnt get them very far. so ! i mean technically she's unemployed rn. but she still has dreams of being a doctor, or at least continuing her career in medicine.

How is your OC working towards their dream job and/or achieved their current profession?

Oh VERY direct action up until she got disheartened and chose to take her sabbatical. she had been working in her role for nearly a decade, and was very obviously one of the most experienced nurses there. even younger doctors would sometimes ask her for her medical opinion dksksks anyway what i am saying is Brain Very Good. she had been fighting to gain admission into a university – any, she wasnt picky – to study medicine officially, but it didnt get very far and she put it on hold after her father got sick. after he died and she was laid off, she fought even harder against the city to reinstate her title, and continues to fight after she returns from america a year or so later.

What are your OC’s thoughts/opinions of his/her current profession?

helping people is her entire life, and she wouldn't know what to do without it. she loves being a nurse enough to fight to be a doctor, but also in BEING a nurse, she is hyperaware of all the things current medical standards seem to get wrong, and she has a lot of ideas about how else to go about things. her father, a shockingly progressive and worldly man for the time period, shared her sentiment, but he wasn't able to make the changes he wanted to before he passed, so imogen hopes she can be the change herself, and make her father proud

What is your OC’s biggest dream?

being a licenced doctor, babey ! preferably at her father's hospital, but at the point she will take what she can get.

How does your OC react to and handle stress?

imogen  handles stress very well , which is partially why she makes such a good medic, and also how she managed to survive the first week of being with the van der linde gang lmao. she is very good at shutting out EVERY distraction when things get dicey, and her brain tends to move at a million miles an hour. all traces of english etiquette and politeness go out the window, though, so you'll usually catch her barking orders at people, and yelling at anyone who prevents her from doing the work she needs to do. it.....is a big wake up call for people like dutch and micah, and gets her into a LOT of trouble on multiple occasions.

How does your OC handle anger?

ooo......not great. she’s grown up with parents who maybe encouraged her to speak her mind a bit....TOO much given the historical circumstances lol. she really doesn’t stand for ignorance or prejudices in any capacity, and if she has a problem with someone and it gets in the way of her trying to do her work or help others - she will ABSOLUTELY be having words. she also overestimates her own strength quite a lot. she’s tried to throw hands with micah MANY times, often forgetting she’s this tiny 70kg englishwoman and he’s .... Him sdjkdcjkf. she has a big mouth too so she often says snide remarks without even meaning too, which tends to get her in trouble as well. on the bright side, it also helps her fit in with the gang quite well, because for the most part they all appreciate how wild she is lmao

How does your OC handle grief?

hmm i guess it depends on what you would class as “well”? she doesnt cry very often - being stoic and handling your emotions is important when your a nurse - but she does tend to shove her feelings down far longer than she should, and tries to pretend they don’t exist by simply focusing on other things. she also blames herself when a lot of things go wrong, because she’s a perfectionist and wants to FIX everything, so when she finds something - or someone - she can’t save, it feels like a personal failure. like she let them down :(

What is your OC’s greatest fear?

probably being trapped in an unhappy, unfulfilling marriage with someone who undervalues her. she’s not much of a homebody and doesn’t have too much of an interest in being married, but the idea of feeling FORCED to marry someone in order to have a decent quality of life makes her blood run cold oof

What makes your OC happy?

helping people ! meeting new folks ! learning about other cultures and ways of life! learning about NEW THINGS in general ! proving people wrong ! insulting micah !

as tough and high-and-mighty as she sometimes seems, she’s a pretty easy person to please, honestly. treat her with respect, give her space to do the things she wants to do, and don’t get in the way of her opportunities to learn new things, and she’s mostly very happy !

What kind of sense of humor does your OC have?

she has a fairly macabre and sardonic sense of humour, something she picked up from her mother. she says a lot of Shocking things for the time period, and she’s not shy of dirty jokes either. the first time sean heard her, a soft, well spoken english Lady, make some filthy, crude joke, he nearly had a stroke right there on the spot kjkjkfdjkf

What are some things that greatly upset your OC?

senseless violence, suffering or cruelty. she really hated the gang at first and hoped to escape the first chance she got, because all she could see was the crime and disregard for human life she assumed they all held. fortunately, as she got to know them, she realized this wasn’t exactly the case, but she still has a lot of anger in her heart for a few key members of the gang who seem to enjoy bloodshed more than anything. she also hates any form of social prejudice, and people who gatekeep knowledge and opportunities from others.

What are some things that annoy your OC?

i guess all of the above, but she also dislikes misplaced arrogance, and people who talk down to others. she tolerates dutch, but often gets frustrated with the way he speaks, using as many big words as he can to manipulate and confuse others. she believes that really intelligence doesn’t require obscure jargon and big, fancy words - she likes keeping things simple, so everybody can follow along.

[catfish-and-the]

rnating. u can scroll past

i dont even kno where to begin everything is just bad and everything aches and everything is empty and each waking moment just feels Bad and its hard to sleep and the Bad feeling wakes me up in the middle of the night and its the first thing i feel when i wake up is just Bad and e mpty and its been over a month and when i say ive tried everything to feel better like i have lmao ive tried all thrhee types of antidepressants and ive tried nicotine and weed and positive reflection and gratefulness exercises and not self h*rming and doing physical exercise ive tried going out to socialize more often and scheduling time out for hobbies and ive tried surrounding myself with the color yellow and eatinng a better diet and keeping up with self care and getting therapy and staying hydrated all at once all at the same tiem and still still it feels like this and im really just. i really feel like it wont get better lmao this really feels like a brand new low and ive just been feeling like this for at least a decade if not longer and i hate living like this but nothing fucking helps in fact like i said ive felt worse than ever before it just doesnt feel like it will get better no matter what i do because i feel like ive done almost everything i could possibly do and it just hasnt worked. and i feel like its only going to get worse because the future is Ass like the news and the gov and the politics and the climate and working your whole life away for nothing and im so scared ill get a job that i dont like and make everything so much worse and im just so mad and sad because i switched out of my old phsics major bc it was too much for me and it destroyed my psyche bc me and my friends would like spend 6 hrs after class in the student tutor room trying to get help for one proble and the tutrs didnt even know how to solve it and i was like i cant throuw my youth away doing this because i already did that in high school and it got me fucking nowhere so i switched out to have time to live life but then covid happened and i was too late anyway bc by then everyone had their friend groups already and still now i dont have. like. friends lol. so i switched out of my dream major but there was no life for me to live so it really feels like it was all for nothing and also idk if this is for everyone but weed out classes made me feel brain damaged and like destined to be stupid even now im like im not smarte nougha dn im not tough anough and im not reilient enough and it has instilled in me this forever guilt and forever self doubt idk how to explain it i just feel so bad bc i really did like physics i just wasnt smart or strong enough i guess lmaoooo but the thing is if i knew thhat there would be no life to catch up on. i wouldve just stayed in that major bc i didnt need to do anything else. now im in english w all the time in the world and straight As and my friends dont invite me to their hangouts.

and then theres also the fact that idk i feel bad saying this but for some reason ppl of my own gender and race dont like me lmfao like i still cant believe ppl of my own race and gender would like. try to get me to not be on the elevator at the same time as me we r both waiting for the elevator and then she gets in and closes the door on me when we are BOTH WAITING THERE. and this has happened w several complete strangers several times and im like what do u have against me fr im trying so hard to be a better person im trying so hard but it feels so u nfair. and the beauty standards are so extreme and i never fit in and it makes me feel like shit and guys of my race will always call me ugly completely unprompted or something and im just like. im just trying so hard. and i have 0 social skills bc i spent all of my time as a kid studying bc i love avademia and it was the only thing anyone ever respected me for cos i was always the kid that was the butt of jokes and pranked on and left out so i was like i have to be smart if i want to be respected but then i have no social skills but i still dont have any lmao and i feel so lonely bc i dont know how to make deep and close connections and ive never been in a relationshipand “everyone will get their time” or whatever but the lack of experience is scary bc i feel like im goonna fuck something up inevitably bc ive never done this before and/or i will have trust issues and self confidence issues bc of how im always treated and its like yeah enjoy being alone but i have been alone my whole life and i feel like ive exhausted everything out of it i want connections now i want to share things now. going to restaurants and parks and shops by urself and having a good time is fine but i have been doing that for over ten years im old now i want. i want to share my life w someone but theres no one to share it with lol. and the longer i go without sharing it it just feels like the less hope there is for things changing. i tried googling how to socialize and make conversations and form closer bonds but it just doesnt work and i feel like i was never destined to be happy or have good things bc everything ve tried at never has worked out. i wanted to go to a nice college and failed. i wanted to be a physicist and failed. i wanted to make friends and failed. i wanted to be ina band and failed/ i wanted to make my own career and failed. its been over ten years. i want it all to stop i dontn want to try anymore i know how it always turns out.

[jupeterian]

Ok so i was tagged to do the 20 questions thingy

@aquariusqueen tagged me but sooo long ago i was tagged by @missunderzztood to do something similar and ALSO even longer ago @moonmood (who i absolutely love) tagged me in one of these as well, so im just gonna do them all together. Im SO sorry i completely forgot! You are all so great and im so forgetful!!! I also apologize for this being so goddamn long

1) Name: Lucía

2) Nicknames: Luli or Lu

2) Gender: female

3) Sun sign: Libra ♎

4) Height: 1, 60

5) Sexual orientation: Bi

6) Hogwarts House: Slytherin 🐍

7) Nationality: Argentinian

8) Favorite season: i cant pick one!!! I love them all!!

9) Fav book: i have so many but i still think about Dan Brown’s Inferno and Truman Capote’s Cold Blood years after ive read them

10) Fav animal: there’s no way i can pick just ONE

11) Fav Scent: anything expensive and classy lol

12) Fav color: Turquoise (is that how u spell it? Idk, turquesa and also any shade of pink)

13) Coffee | Tea | Hot cocoa: Coffee

14) Average sleep hours: 6 hs give or take

15) Cat or dog person: both istg

16) Fav band/singer: my all-time favorite band is My Chemical Romance (I KNOW, but their songs feel like home ok)

17) Fav fictional character: i dont think i have one tbh

18) Dream Job: i’ll be an embassador so.. theres that

19) N° of blankets u sleep with: they are currently 3

20) Dream trip: well id love to travel everywhere really but the trip i had been wating for my entire life was my prom trip and it couldnt have been more perfect. Just 10 days in Bariloche, away from parents with the entire class, partying every night in a different club and during the day doing excursions in the snow. Idk how i survived being drunk w no sleep and high on ibuprofen bc i was sick af for 10 days but its the best thing thats ever happened to me

21) Blog created: i created my main like 2 years ago ? And Jupetarian last november

22) what made you decide to make a tumblr: i was really curious abt this site and then i stayed lol. With this blog, i just wanted a space where i could keep everything related to astrology without fucking up my main

23) N° of followers: i think Jupetarian has almost 200 now?? I never thought id have any followers lol so im v excited i love them all so much

24) Random fact: since this is not specific i could go on forever talking about myself lol but first things that come to my mind are i can speak 3 languages, play 5 instruments and i play volleyball?? But im extremely competitive and i get super angry, frustrated and judgemental if i dont win or get my way in literally everything lmfao

25) Fav book you were made to read in class: mmmm i loved The Lord of the Flies but i think my fav was a compilation of Cortazar’s stories

26) Best vacation memory: idk about “best” but there was this one time i went to california and we were in Hermosa Beach (san diego) with a friend and a bunch of guys pass riding bikes and chanting “national killing day!” And we were v confused

27) Best meal you ever had: chiken marinated in beer/wine/gancia or sidra i swear everyone needs to try it oh my goood

28) Last song you’ve listened to: ByPass’ opening song bc im a nostalgic bitch who cant let go her prom trip (its been a whole year KILL ME)

29) Last adventure you went on: like 2 weeks ago i had to lie to my parents about meeting with friends in a bar bc i was actually going on a date SOOO my dad took me to the bar, i lied to the “waiting-list lady” when i told her we were gonna be 10 people so she would let me in so i could wait until my dad left. After 5 minutes or so i got out and started walking like 8 blocks to the subway, watching my back the whole time bc i had lost sight of my dad (mind you, the city is v dangerous and i was alone and the streets were dark and empty i was so loving the adrenaline). I didnt know the guy, i was super far away from my home and i got back at like 4 am and i was SO HAPPY bc i love feeling free like that 💕

30) Fav mythological creature: prob mermaids??? Ive been obssesed with them since forever (i think its bc of my lack of water lol)

31) Fav story/myth/fairy tale: man, any old disney story. I also remember fondly pulgarcito, hansel y gretel, manuelita, and so many more

32) Last tv show u watched: Black Mirror and i still think about it every day

33) Calm or stormy: stormy but i love calm too (uuugh i can never pick smth when it comes to nature)

34) Fav painter: i just love rainassance and barocco paintings but i dont think i can decide??? How can i choose between so many beautiful things!!!!!

35) Ocean or forest: im gonna say ocean bc i feel a deep conection to it but i just.love.the forest.so.much !!!!!

Oh and i tag everyone that wants to do this (?

[infnthoya]

11 questions

i was tagged by my lovely friends @dimple-soo​ @jdw-juseyo​ and @pjmjjk​ i LOVE being tagged in things so thank you all 💜💜💜

Rules: Always repost the rules Answer 11 random questions posted for you Create 11 new ones Tag 11 people

Questions by Nana 1. How would you best describe yourself using 3 adjectives?: good listener, short tempered, trustworthy 2. What’s your favourite smell in the whole world?: nutella *heart eyes* 3. What’s a song that always cheers you up?: Cheer Up by Twice? lol but honestly i dont listen to happy songs when i feel down so idk 4. Are you listening to music rn? If yes, what are you listening to?: nope. im watching tv :D 5. What is your perfect pizza?: im not much of a pizza fan :/ but i like mozzarella, salami, olive, onion and green pepper 6. What are you most afraid of?: seeing my family hurt 7. What do you like to do on a rainy day?: walk under it with music in my ears 8. If you had to form a 7 member group (boy/girl/co-ed group whatever you want lol), but you had to pick a member each from already existing groups, who’d be in your group and what would the group be called?: Howon, Feeldog (Bigstar), Daehyun (BAP), Jooheon (Monsta X), Solji (Exid), Jihyo (Twice) and Jimin (15&) Edit: i realized i forgot the name but im so bad at these stuff so i have no idea otl i’ll let the members decide :D 9. Describe your ultimate bias with a pic or gif: king of sass!

10. Tell me something funny you did when you were a kid: when i was a kid, we used to go to my grandma’s house every weekend (its the same now too lol) Me and my cousins used to come together at the big living room and used to call random numbers on the phone. there were these contests on tv which people could call and answer questions and win gifts if they got the right answers. so we used to tell those people that we were from a contest and they’d win things if they answered correctly. most people were believing us otl xD  11. Name 3 objects you absolutely can’t live without: any one thing that i can use to listen to music. be it a phone, an mp3 player etc; earphones; credit card

Millie’s Questions 1. What was the last word you said out loud?: sth related to a tv show to my mom 2. Describe what you can remember from your last dream: one night me and mom were watching carbonaro effect (we had no idea what it was till we saw the guy doing crazy illusion tricks so yeah) that night in my dream, there were objects moving around by themselves like some books flying from my bookcase to my bed etc and i was so scared becuz in my religion, those paranormal creatures exist and in my dream, those objects were being moved by them so it was scary af otl 3. What’s the best ice cream flavour?: im a simple person; chocolate! 4. When was the last time you went away on a trip? And where was it?: a summer trip with family last summer. to one of those hot, seaside cities on the south of the country 5. Tell us three things you want to achieve/do in the next year: find a job (please!!!), go on a trip overseas, get awesome grades at exams 6. What was the last book you read?: its been a long time since i read one but if exam books are counted, im preparing for an English proficiency test  (not toefl. im not ready to take it yet) 7. Are you more of a tea or coffee person? Why?: neither. idk i just dont like the taste. but i drink one cup of tea at breakfast and, tho rarely, drink nescafe if i feel sleepy 8. Go to Wikipedia, click ‘random article’ (it’s in the menu bar on the left hand side) and tell us what it is: Choerophryne gracilirostris lmao its a type of frog apparently 9. Which season is your favourite?: a “winter-like” winter! snow, more snow, even more snow! 10. Top 5 foods! Go!: this this this this this 11. Where would your dream home be?: well in reality, i dont wanna live in another country but hypothetically, On the rooftop apartment of a skyscraper in NYC or Vancouver!

Sarah’s questions 1. What’s the movie you could watch on repeat and never getting tired of?: hmm i used to answer Titanic until a few weeks ago i watched it and realized that after many years, it finally stopped giving me feels :D right now i wanna watch the Korean movie named “Love, Lies” again becuz it was amazing! 2. If you had to choose an album as the soundtrack of your life, which one would it be?: probably one of LP’s albums. because they have those songs that touches the issues of real world (like politics, war issues etc) also those emo love songs and i love both types 3. You have one day left to live, what will you do?: atone for my sins (using Sarah’s reply) 4. What would you do if you were lost in a foreign country, in a city you never went before? well technically, if its a city/country that ive never been before, im already lost even if im wandering around becuz i dont know where i am going anyways, right? so there is no such thing as “getting lost” in such a situation. but lets say i cant find the way back to my hotel, well i’ll just show my hotel’s address to those who live there and help them lead me back. and that is, after im done wandering around the city and have nowhere to see for the day. 5. An embarassing moment you doesn’t mind sharing?: i cant recall. really, i dont have such moments often 6. What are some traits your ideal boyfriend should have?: respectful (esp towards women), wise, mature, talkative and funny (not too funny tho, i mean he is not a clown right? :D) 7. Kissing under the rain or in the middle of a flower field?: rain (i dont have such fantasies tho. but since i love rain...) 8. If you could, would you like to change something about yourself?: yes i would! (you didnt ask what hehe :D) 9. You find yourself owning a time-machine, what time would you travel to first? either to the magnificent times of the Ottoman Empire or to a very far future when its almost the time for the world to end. i really wanna know how worse the people can possibly suck! 10. You are allowed a day with your bias and your bias only, what are you gonna do?: he  is an indoor person just like me so just staying at home and letting him show me the dances he prepared, the songs he is working on and just let him be himself 11. Is life okay with you right now? (I hope it is, I really do TT) definitely could’ve been better...

My Questions 1. Let's say superheroes exists. Would you like to be one who saves their people from inhuman enemies like those in the movies? Why/why not? 2. A song that makes you think "I wish i was the one who wrote the lyrics to this"? 3. An mv that makes you think "I wish i was the one who shot/directed/wrote the scenario to this"? 4. Is there a song without an mv that makes you create your own in your head? If yes, which song and what would be the mv like? 5. Something that made you happy recently? 6. Something you bought for yourself just for pleasure (not a necessary item) recently? (Pics if possible) 7. Does your bias look better in formal or informal clothes? Convince us with pics! 8. Movie recs? 9. If you could form a duo with someone (not necessarily a singer/celebrity) who would it be? Why? 10. Dream job? 11. Something you'd like to say to anyone (just one person) right now? (Except for me. Since im the one who asked, i dont wanna sound like im forcing you guys to say something to me xD)

Tagging (i honestly dont know who to tag since almost all my mutuals probably did this a couple of times :D)

@whiteconfession @vefh @bloominqperiod @young-guk @gravity-kontrol @star-hoya @purpleboyhowonee @joohyuk @soooldout @dracgyula @hoyainifinite

[raitrolling]

charon is my favorite, can we get some deets about him?

omg im glad but i also gotta question ur taste in taste in trolls cuz charon is legitimately the worse lmao

but anYWAY if ur just looking for simple facts, check out his toyhou.se profile, but otherwise cuz i didnt know what to write deets-wise i ended up getting carried away textwalling the entire history of charon’s character so enjoy?? i guess????

charon was my first troll who i made way back in late 2010, sometime after i caught up with the comic (which iirc was the make her pay flash). at first i was like ‘lol fantrolls are a dumb idea why would you make characters if alternia no longer exists in the comic’, but then i discovered the trollslum board on mspaf and the types of really creative trolls people had come up with and now 6 years later im still stuck in fantroll hell LMAO. but charon didnt rly have much of a concept back then apart from doing the thing im sure a good 70% of people making their first fantroll did and choosing the lime green colour thats supposed to be in between sollux and nepeta, as well as wanting him to be some creepy dude who loves blood and fighting because i was still in my edgy phase back then rifp

this pic here was the oldest one i could find of him, i lost a lot of my 2010 arts when my old external harddrive corrupted, and the oekaki i used to draw him on no longer exists so i cant grab anything from there either. i cry looking at the horrid anatomy omg

so then i started rping him on mspaf (which was the first time i rly rped, apart from randomly jumping into other peoples rps on other forums when i was 10 cuz i didnt know wtf it was but i wanted to be cool and write characters too lmao) and he just kinda developed from there i guess?? since he came from a friendless background he ended up getting really attached and protective of the friends and quads he ended up making, which ended up being taken up to 11 and turning into his obsessive tendencies he has now (though i ended up retconning all his past relationships because at the state hes at now, he would never be able to move on from losing so many people and id be stuck with Yet Another Ball Of Angst OC)

the story about his lusus has been changed a couple times too, originally kitedad was just some big angry bird who was attacked by another troll so charon was seeking revenge, but then retcons happened. somewhere down the line i was like ‘yknow charon’s p full on when it comes to trying to help his friends to the point where hed definitely try to hurt them so he could keep them safe, that mustve come from somewhere’ and now we have the awful abusive/codependent mess that exists today

i think a lot of his development came from the way i kept reinterpreting his behaviour too. ive mentioned on this blog a couple times That Weird Black Butler Cosplayer I Almost Dated Back In High School, who, while im sure he meant well, said and did some real creepy shit like turning up to my house unannounced as he found out where i lived cuz we took the same bus home and had memorised the route, as well as turning up uninvited to parties (dressed as fuckign sebastian. i wish i was joking. even my 2011 ultra weeb ass thought that was embarrassing) i was going to because there was gonna be alcohol there and he thought i needed ‘protection’, and also texting me this incredibly detailed dream he had of saving me from bullies and whatnot and that just made me go HOLD ON THIS BEING PROTECTIVE OF SOMEONE THING IS ACTUALLY REALLY WEIRD so i wanted to channel that kind of creepiness into charon. also his guilt trippy tendencies and making everyone’s problems about him is the same shit people have pulled on me before so lmao.

tho that being said, ive never really intended for charon to be 100% irredeemable?? he’s really only ever been intentionally malicious to those who have hurt him or his friends, so he’s more... incredibly misguided to the most extreme degree. he knows what behaviours get what he wants, but doesn’t understand that those behaviours are harmful to others, and he’s hopelessly loyal and protective, but these traits are coloured by the fact he’s got a poor sense of boundaries and doesn’t recognise when he’s going too far. he’s an interesting character for me to write, but finding that exact balance has always been difficult and i still dont know if ive got him pinned down properly yet. i always get happy when i post something related to him and i get messages from people who are just ‘holy shit charon’, it makes me feel like ive done a good job at capturing his character lmao

he kinda came full circle in a sense, from horrible edgy disgusting creep to somewhat of a nice guy with the occasional weirdness to legitimate disgusting creep who happens to also be a nice guy?? idk unlike a lot of my trolls who have gone through a lot of development charon is one of the few who still has a lot of his core concepts, just refined greatly

[ayatanskywalker4u]

NO ONE CAN BLAME YOU FOR WALKING AWAY

Does the story end when we go? Does love die if the pages stop turning? I hope so because Im in pain. How do u tell someone "you cheated 1st"? I slept with two women and the other I still love. I read her tumblr page when she wasnt looking, its not like i was the greatest guy. She said stuff like i said mean things. I know i did. Like a kid throwing a tantrum because i dreamed of a future. You know, having kids a house, maybe a dog. If i didnt love her why risk going to jail to save her life? Her father threatened to call the cops on me when i banged on the door yelling and crying shouting "SHES DYING" it was raining that night like some movie and me running through it. We were always there for eachother whether it was a prayer or a hand. I asked her to marry me and she said yes, that was somewhere in the middle.

Theres a lot that happened, some NSFW stuff that happened to her. I could see it breaking her. And when we finally met again she was laughing about some of the graphic content. She told me the old her was dead, like she was just looking past me. Like the night she was dying from an overdose. She didnt see the man that loves her. She only saw what she wanted to see.

When the ambulance took her away i met her the next day in the hospital ward. I will always remember this because as i turned away from her hand i felt her standing there almost begging me not to leave. I had to go, i joined the military.

What went through my mind during that moment was does she love me, then why didnt she call me before the pills? And she's slept with other men to boot. But i was always there even if it made me mad.

There was this other girl, Ebony. She was pretty but so was Ashley. I wanted to try getting back at her for running around. And no i didnt go to bed with Ebony after Ashley's incident. Not right after. I still shouldnt have. "He who touches a women divored commiteth adultery." The same goes for man. I sinned against my very heart which was Ashley and now she hates me.

Im not the type to go get a new dog when we have to put down o'l yeller. When my dog Ginger died i never replaced her. Can you replace a son or a daughter, a father or mother? Can you replace the person you almost lost your life for? I guess the question is should you though. I hate sounding like im giving up on what i believe in. I love ginger and i believe in a better place.

I stayed gone to military training until 2010. Ashley called in the beginning to see if i was alright. I was still mad at her. Was she sleeping with others even though i wasnt around even Ebony? Lol no but ebony was sleeping against me and Ashley even stalked her to find out for me. I thought she was manipulating my emotions. That was the beginning of our downfall. I called her, Ashley, right around my graduation. I was outside of a hotel the privates threw a party at. I missed her and decided to go outside and call her. She was with some other man sadly. Probably doing some NSFW with him as my heart breaks. She laughed at me over the phone, like hey Ash come on its OB. Im still here. I graduated but the woman i love left me.

After the military i called her every now and again. She wouldnt pick up most of the time. I joined the conservation corps and just decided to wait until she asked me to come over. My heart was racing when she asked to talk, funny enough i believe i quit there right beforehand.

We talked about a lot of stuff. Mainly she talked about the guy and the NSFW stuff. All while looking off in the distance just smiling and giggling about how he made her scream and broke the cheap Walmart bed. I was getting upset. Holding my tongue. But when she told me her father touched her, thats when i cracked. I laughed at her pain because it seemed like she was ignoring mine. I missed her forever and a day and she was just, idk she was something, a happy i wouldnt call happy. I spent the night i think, even tried to pull a night with her but its like she just hated me. The last time i recalled ever seeing her was the hospital. She must have held the hospital and ebony against me.

Fast forward to the next day she drops me off at my house. As i stare at her wondering whats going on in her head, probably the dudes equipment, she reaches out and tries to hug me. I pushed her hands away, like she just wanted me to feel like everything was going to be alright. She only wanted to chase tail. Like all those moments over the years we were together didnt matter. I know she was talkin to someone else, i felt like i couldnt "satisfy" her anymore in a way. She definitely didnt like my moves the night before. I watched her get back in the car and drive off.

Some years passed and we lost the house. I overdosed on i think excedrin. That was the night she wouldnt pick up her phone. Funny enough that bottle wasnt enough to finish the job. The cycle of wanting to die when you lose a love like a dog, pig, cow, man women, whatever its hard to kill unless you have hope.

I gathered my senses and decided to leave california for Minnesota. The week prior was bad though. I started hallucinating and i heard voices. I started developing schizophrenia, and destroyed my mothers house due to it. Back to the following week im leaving for Minnesota and Tony tells me he has a gun he wants to sell. I figure i'd buy it when i get paid. You guessed it, im looking to make the job quick. Ashley didnt love me anymore. She wont miss me anyways. I Know how to pull an M9 apart blind folded and put it back together within seconds. I know the central nervous system is what you aim for. Its in the back of the skull at the nape of the neck. You'd leave this world in seconds. I know it sounds grim but come on, its better than commiting adultery against my heart. Who wants to live and suffer at the same time?

Tony saw me brandishing the piece and hid it from me i was crying about what i had done to everyone.

Tony ended up ditching me in Minnesota, luckily it wasnt my first time eating out of a trash can. Home is where you make it. Some people at the shelter became my friends and we played guitars together. But i wasnt as good with the guitar as i am now.

Salvation army was my first job in Minnesota, i was just happy again. I grew my hair out and styled it down, not like Prince and less greasy. After work id go get a drink. I worked that job for about two months i know because my birthday had passed and i believe i turned 25.

2015 came down and i still was asking god what now. I was skinny and handsome playing the guitar with a job. There were women who'd look and stare and some thought i was full of myself. The truth is i just wanted to be able to hold ashley if she ever fell in my arms. I was kinda muscly. I always told myself that one day her legs will fail but id be ready, the muscles werent just for show.

I hit on a few women but i never chased. Id go to the library every now and again to read. And then it hit me, even though i had no cell phone i could use the computers, Ashley was the 1st thing on my mind. I called, i dont think she answered but messaged back. She sounded angry. She was pregnant is what she was. Little did i know. All said and done she left me feeling more empty than i had planned. I started getting angry at God, "if you control everything and move everything, why are you moving me toward Ashley? She doesnt even see the love anymore or remember the sacrifices."

The train to the mall was coming by soon. I went to the liquor store with a plan. Buy as much fireball whiskey as i can consume and jump off of the mall of america. The train was sluggish, probably because i had been drinking. I fell into a doze just before the last stop, "The Mall of America". I woke up and walked slowly, tipsy, toward the elevators to the 6th floor. I heard a voices as i walked to the ledge. I turned around to see if anyone was watching me, my back against the guard rail. I climbed on top and looked down, liquor really did help. I turned my head up and told God "you want my life? You can have it". I let go of my hands back toward the earth and fell asleep.

When i woke up it was about 2 weeks later. My vision was blurry but i made out my mom crying on my chest. I slowly reached and touched her scalp. She didnt know i woke up. Short lived, i went back to sleep. Not just my mom was there but my sister too. They drove from California. How did they find me with no ID?

I stayed in that hospital for 3 months, due to my injuries and placed in the psych ward. My family visited me every few months. All that was going through my head is 'I'm alive" it took me a while to figure out how to use my legs being one has nerve damage now. But i started walking before my bones could fully fuse. The nurses told me to stop.

After i gained disability and got placed in housing, i bought a game to occupy my time. No more work outs, no more running, just me trying to forget the reasons i gave up on life. A couple months to about a year later my mother asks if i want to leave the housing and save the disability money. I said yes to that. I didnt know they'd take me back to california on my birthday. It was a nostalgic drive.

I picked up a walking routine and decided talking to ashley was always going to end with her thinking about my faults. I stopped calling her for probably 4-5 years no messages, nothing.

One day my mom asks if i want to go for a ride and talk. We drove until we reached the on ramp she passes me her phone with a picture of Ashley holding a baby. It was Zipporah. What should i have felt? If ashley is dead why did ashley hold onto the dream? And share it with someone who just left her holding the bag. I couldnt believe it after how hard we tried to bring her into this world.

But i cant chase Ashley anymore, i cant even run, literally.

I didnt know if she was married or not to the dude all i know is his ass wasnt in any pictures with the baby. Ive done some searchin around, he was some dead beat who'd prey on women revealing there weak sides on the internet instead of reality. Yeah I never liked virtual dating. That or the websites. Why do for me what i can do myself?

Even after zipporah was in my view i was a happy mad. Happy that Ashley finally got her family minus the father. But mad at the whoremonger man who just left her. I was a little sore with Ashley for hiding it.

Its been a a year and a couple months after the pictures were seen. I started forcing the thought of Ashley out. I wanted her to disappear, me or her, but mainly me. She wants to chase body parts thats on her. But Im broken now. I still love her and sure some might say less than before but i say im just skeptical now. Besides what good is seeing me broken going to do for her? Idk if she'd just laugh at me again. I kinda wish she would, so i can take these feelings and curse the day she ever earned my love.

Whats the point in arguing though. We were so happy until people stepped in and sabotaged our emotions. You hate me for cheating, laughing at what happened between the father and you and walking away. When i should have stayed. I forgave all the crap in the past. But im almost done.

The doctors told me i dont have much time left after my jumping act. I messed up my innards pretty good. The alcohol relaxed the impact though. I dont want to tell my mother, she'd flip over what im talking about. I think i can close the book on this life well too.

Even though i didnt get to help raise the dreams we shared i learned you still held onto dead things just to keep the dream alive. Ashley is alive in there somewhere, only ashley would name that baby zipporah.

I can leave happy.

[blog-optimisticcoffeestuden-blog]

how to get quick quotes on home insurance

"how to get quick quotes on home insurance

how to get quick quotes on home insurance

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecost.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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how to get quick quotes on home insurance

how to get quick quotes on home insurance

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Im 17 i want a vw golf mk4 tdi, it will cost me for the car 800-1600, i wanna no how much is the car insurance""

Car insurance question?

If something happens to your car and it falls under comprehensive coverage, will your insurance premium go up after the incident?""

Best public health insurance plan in nyc?

I've been traveling after college and won't go back to school for another year. I've been volunteering only and haven't worked for over a year. I don't qualify for ...show more

Health Insurance question?

Do any one know a insurance in California that cover pre-existing condition? I am eighteen year old with no insurance still living with my parent which have no health insurance. We had medical but it expired. I have heart problem the doctor said i need to get insurance that cover pre-existing condition. I have try getting quotes online. Or know any good insurance i should try giving a call to.

California Insurance company that will insure a shake roof?

Does anyone know of an insurance company that will insure a home with a shake roof. We put an offer in on a house in Big Bear CA and now we are 3 weeks out of closing escrow and need to find an insurance company that will insure it for the close of escrow??? PLEEEEEASSSSSE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should i get insurance or not?

Im a 17 year old girl and i recently passed my driving test in the middle of October. I've bought myself a Corsa and found that the cheapest insurance is 1500. My mum is going to pay half of this aslong as i pay the other half, tax, mot and petrol which i think is completely reasonable. I can afford all this with money I get through college, but it leaves me with pretty much zero to spare. I've applied for about 30 jobs and have got either turned down or simply no answer back. Im someone that likes to have money but i also want the freedom of being able to jump in my car and go wherever I want. Do you think I should go for it? Or wait until i find a job which will enable me to have more income?""

Why is car insurance so expensive for an 18 year old?

I was looking at quotes and they all range from 1000-1400 just for six months on a Nissan Sentra SR-E spec v. Which insurance is the cheapest and you would recommend. Its for a college student just for school and work.

Cheap car to insure for 17 year old boy?

Please just say a few car names and not your not geting any for cheap

Is it common for homeowners insurance to up without notice?

I have only owned my home for a year. I got a letter from my mortgage company stating that my payment would go up because my taxes and home owners insurance has gone up. I contacted statefarm to find out why my insurance went up (i was not notified) and was told that the company increased my dwelling coverage. Is this common?

Car insurance help please?

so i stoped by at state farm agency last week and got a quote, she told told me to call her the next day if i wanted it. So i called and told her that i want it. They havent sent me my card in the mail yet. Last night i was in my neighborhood coming back home and this guy opened his door and hit the front of my car. The cop asked for my license and proof of insurance, i gave him the license and told him that i havent got the insurance card yet. He is giving me till tonight to provide it but when i called state farm they told me that i am not insured and that i have to call on Monday to talk to that same lady that i talked to when i got i. I dont know what to do, i have nevr been in a situation like this before. Please help""

Can a 16yr old register a car in his name in TEXAS and can he still be on parent's insurance?

Does anyone know for sure if it is legal in TEXAS for a minor to purchase a vehicle in his name? The car lot said it was okay but my insurance company says that it must be in my name for him to be on my policy. Is that true?

Red camoro or mustang or white effect car insurance (boy)?

Hello I am driving in a few months. I am getting a 2011 chevy camaro 2lt or a ford mustang gt. does the color of the car effect the price of the car insurance. I do know being a boy I will have to pay higher insurance. But red is my favorite color. If I get a red camaro or mustang will insurance be higher than getting a white or yellow mustang or camaor. And what is better for everyday driving and safety. and features. and what is best for the money the Camaro or mustang. and trim wise to. camaro 1LT or 2LT or Mustang GT or V6Premium???? help

Churchill Car Insurance Problem?

Had accident which was my fault in Nov 08, hit a van in rear that stopped suddenly going through a roundabout (less than 5mph) and his trailer hitch ball went into my radiator and damaged the hood, grill and radiator. Car was 1996 Honda in very reasonable condition, MOT'd and all in good service despite its 125,000 mileage, new tyres, exhaust, battery, and clean throughout. Had fully comprehensive insurance with 50 deductable, loaner car and legal support so paid to be protected. When car was collected from accident, collecting garage said at that time that due to the mileage my car would not be repaired. However it took 5 to 6 weeks for the insurance examiner to determine that my car was beyond repair, so I did without a car all that time. Despite repeated phone calls to them, they never called me back as their examiner was on holiday. Then when we finally agree that a price of 500 for my car in January 08 and that took some haggling, the cheque never and so I started chasing them down in early February. I am then informed that I did not disclose a speeding violation on my application and they would have to listen to the tapes of my applying to verify this. Again this took several weeks, and I again had to pursue them for an answer to which they then said I had applied on the internet so no record of a phone conversation. The internet application was misleading, asking for what I believed was 3 years worth of offenses. I've only ever had 2 speeding offenses in my entire life - both speed cameras, just over the limit. The first was at 6 a.m. and I passed a bus pulling over to stop and as I passed it got flashed. The second on the day I found my dad had days to live and I was rushing to catch a flight, and as in both instances was doing 42 mph in a 30 mph zone for a very short period. Nonetheless, I was speeding and paid my fines. I wrote to the insurance company and apologised for not telling them of the other speeding ticket from 4 years and 9 months earlier as I forgot about it. But I admitted it, and apologised in writing. Then then came back to me saying that there would be additional premium to pay before I would get paid for my car. Well, its October 08, and I finally got a letter from the insurers saying they are not paying me as I failed to pay the additional premium requested and they were not going to renew my policy. I have never been asked even after repeated letters to them how much the additional premium was, and what I should do. No replies. I have asked for my car back which they agreed to pay for, and now they state there is nothing they can do, and it is their final decision. I went to the financial ombudsman and unbelieveably DID NOT get a reply from them. I've even spoken to one of their survey staff who tells me that they are incredibly busy and it was probably put aside and not dealt with. I'm at a total loss as to where I stand and how to pursue this without spending more than the accident and car was worth. I've written to their data protection officer and obtained copies of all documentation pertaining to this, so by their records can verify all this information quite clearly. Finally, I maintained my cool with them at all times. Never once did I raise my voice or become unprofessional with them. My questions are: 1. Can I legally request my car back as it has never been paid for? 2. Were they taking money for policy on a car they knew that through mileage alone, they would never pay for loaner car, or to have repaired? 3. This has meant over 30 letters and more phone calls than that to deal with, and rarely do they call you back or reply at all. Can I claim for this time and distress? 4. Am I totally wasting my time? Regards, Papa Don""

Are they able to charge me with car insurance fraud?

A little over a month ago I had a contractor and his workers in my home. They came unexpectedly and although I didn't know it at the time I believe that one of them stole the key to my car, a new CR-V. Anyway a week later we went on vacation and the day we came back it was late we didn't unpack and order a pizza went to bed. The baby woke up a 5:30 am and I had no diapers upstairs so I headed to the car. The car was gone, we called the police and when they got there and were writing the report a dispatcher came over the radio and stated my car was found, but it was on fire. At the time of the report I didn't know where the key was and I didn't suspect anyone. I really thought that maybe my 2 1/2 year old took it and misplaced it. It wasn't a big deal to me I knew it would turn up. We told the cops that we would look for it. When the insurance lady called she asked me a lot of questions like why were you down stairs so early and where is the key and have you ever had a car stolen before. I told her yes to the car being stolen before. Two years ago. After weeks of working with the police. I now find out that the insurance company has turned the case over to an independent agency. She said that there were discrepancies in my story. I talked to her once, In the meant time the Dectective on the case has found the guy we think stole the car and has reopened the old car case and has a suspect with that one too. The firemarshell and the detective both told me and my husband (a retired cop) that we are in no way suspect. They have both spoken to the insurance company. So anyone who is in the business. What is going on? Is this routine? I have been very forth coming with them. I had paid 10000 on the car and it is worth 22000, because I am now a stay at home mom I never have the credit to get a loan for a new car again, my son's favorite toys were in the car along with strollers 2 car seats and a picture of my son on his 1st roller coaster ride. My son sleeps under his bed because he is afraid of being Stoled What else do I need to do to prove to these poeple that I didn't steel my car.""

Motorcycle insurance?

What should I be expecting to pay for insurance? I'm single, male, and 23 years old, and I would be getting my first bike. Geico quoted me at about $3360/yr, is this good/bad? Do you think other companies can do better? How much bodily injury coverage should I get?""

Dental discounts or affordable insurance in NJ?

I do not have dental insurance for myself and I need a good amount of dental work done, i was wondering if anyone could tell me an affordable dental plan or insurance that isnt exspensive in NJ? Im not applicable for NJ familycare dental""

What is the cheapest reputable auto insurance out there?

Need full coverage.

Health insurance for seniors?

My parents are seniors now and my father doesnt work anymore but he owns a restaurant so he cant apply for Medicare.. Does anyone know how and where I can find a affordable insurance that I can have for them. They need to apply for health insurance asap because both of them have diabetes Please help me!

How much does it cost for a 28 year old man for car insurance?

How much does it cost for a 28 year old man for car insurance?

""In the state of Hawaii, does my car insurance have to have the same name as my registration?

I'm going to be deploying soon and allowing my girlfriend to use my vehicles while i'm gone. I'm just curious. Can leave the registration in my name but have the insurance in hers since she'll be the primary driver?

Is there a big defference between the quote and final price of car insurance?

If I get a quote fro geico $300 a month, how much will I be paying for my actual monthly bill? Will there be a difference at all?""

how to get quick quotes on home insurance

how to get quick quotes on home insurance

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