#ive been absent so much.. ive missed so many things i cant make up....

[brainrot-stitch]

He's done!! :3

[melodymonger]

i was thinking about the parallels between Noelle Holiday and Lucas from Mother 3, and kinda just kept extrapolating from there, and things kept lining up, and now i dont know what to do with this information. this might make no sense, or it might make tons of sense. im sleep deprived and off my antipsychotics so i really cant tell. anyways, check under the cut if you wanna hear my deranged ramblings + are ok with MAJOR Mother 3 spoilers

ok, so, Noelle and Lucas both start off fairly weak in terms of combat abilities, and are easily shaken by things, with Lucas repeatedly being called a crybaby, and Noelle getting scared of many things. they also both have a sibling who, for one reason or another, is not present. Claus ends up missing, and becomes the Masked Man. Dess, we don't know exactly what happened, but it is VERY commonly theorized that she is missing too.

in their siblings' absence, they both end up going on an adventure. It is repeatedly mentioned how much stronger Lucas has gotten, and in the normal route of Deltarune, Noelle ends up gaining the strenght of character to stand up to Queen. in the weird route.... well, she gets stronger in a different way.

this part goes a little away from Noelle, and more into general story parallels, but the protagonists of both games have a series of places they need to go to and do something only they can do in order to prevent a Bad Event from happening. Lucas is the only one who can pull the Seven Needles, and must do so to prevent the Dark Dragon from destroying the Nowhere Islands when it awakes. Kris needs to seal the Dark Fountains to prevent The Roaring, and they are the only one who can do this. also, if Deltarune keeps up its current pattern, there will likely be a total of 7 Dark Fountains as well.

of course, both of these protagonists meet plenty of enemies in their journeys because, well, the story needs that. the most notable for each of them is Deltarune's Knight, and Mother 3's Masked Man. both of these characters are in direct competition with what the main characters are attempting to do at their 7 Plot Significant Locations, with the Knight opening up new Fountains, and the Masked Man pulling the Needles instead of Lucas.

now, i dont necessarily expect Deltarune to be a complete retelling of Mother 3, it is very much its own thing, and i like that, and i like the original ideas Toby has. that being said, i also very much like finding a pattern and extrapolating from it for fun. if we do that here.... well. the Masked Man is Claus, right? and ive already talked about how Claus parallels Dess. what if Dess is the Knight? i mean, we have no idea what shes been doing while shes been absent, for all we know, shes been running around making Dark Fountains. i mean, Noelle explicitly said Dess talked about taking her somewhere like the Cyber City, and she wouldnt have gone there without the Knight.

Do i expect this to come true? no, absolutely not, Toby's games have always been able to surprise me with their twists and i fully expect them to keep doing that. honestly, i just watched a silly video of a Deltarune song in Mother 3s soundfont and thought of all this, and thought it was funny how much mileage i could get out of it, and wrote it down so i wouldnt forget, and figured i might as well post it to. but hey, in the one in a million chance i am write, i wanna be able to say i made a silly post about all this on tumblr.com/dashboard years ago.

[nnatasha]

don't blame me for falling iv

read part one, two and three first!!

pairing: tom holland x reader

he comes back after years and years and the press are just eating it up and you're falling too hard, too fast

an; this is the last full part, but I'm p sure that I'm going to write an epilogue to tie up all the ends as I cut this off at a pretty blunt point 🥺 I'd also like to apologise in the delay of uploading and I'm really sorry it took so long!! more at the bottom :))

the crisp autumn air was a welcome change to the stiflingly hot summer days that had cling to you with warm, clammy hugs a mere few weeks ago. the leaves were turning oranges and yellows and browns and the ones you walked past on your way to work swayed in the breeze, a few feet above your head.

the tension that you weren't ready to admit to was like a third person between you and tom, the kind that popped up all the time and was just so annoyingly constant. his work was keeping him busy and, in turn, it was keeping you busy, bustling around and making calls, filling out paperwork and overseeing every little detail there could possibly be.

you and tom were scheduled to take a short trip back to your home, where there were dirt roads and bad chinese and memories filling every crack in the pavement and being posted like signs up in every shop you could think of.  the only reason you were back was for the big rosh hashanah feast your mum was hosting, and your entire family was going, bar your sister. it had been a long time since you felt at home, since you felt safe and warm and cozy and so very not in london and your excitement was buzzing beneath your skin like a swarm of friendly bees.

rosh hashanah had been a major part in your childhood, and tom's and stacey's and harrison's. the warm autumn days spent with your friends when you were little, guiding them through practices you didn't know how to do and running around the back garden while the adults had their own time inside and the overall innocence of it was something you yearned for, and you heart bubbled with it in the dark of the night, when god was asleep too and when your soul ached for things and people you could never have back. your childhood seemed otherworldly, in your big adult body as you laid in your bed without hearing someone snoring over in the next room or listening to a sister bumping around in the dark in the toilet, the concept of the joy you had so foreign.

tom. he was always by your side, and you were glad that he was pressed up against you in the bustling bus station. "why can't we just drive?" he grumbled, frown on his face as a woman sneezed too close to him, his nose wrinkling in disgust.

"because you never offered." you snapped. "and I cant so. suck it."

"bitch."

"I'll tell mum not to make a bloody trifle if you keep going on like this" you pursed your lips, but could feel the playfulness dancing in your eyes, and laughed when tom shook his head furiously.

the train station was loud but so were your smiles, and the warmth they held told of love that was old and new, strong and weak but that would hold a thousand lifetimes, in whatever way it needed to. your hearts were destined for each other, and the world seemed to know about it before you caught up, brain sharp and heart guarded and with a man that had broken it a few too many times, but who was trying as hard as he could to fix it again.

-

your mother was a loud, joyful woman, all round edges and warm hugs that smelled of flower, and full, rosy cheeks. your father was a hard man with a soft, squidgy center that was easily gooped out after a glass of wine. he was stern, and the roughness of his jumpers and his voice was something you became accustomed to as you grew up.

"my dear child!" your mother smelled of flour and her hair was frizzy and wild as she clutched your face inbetween her hands, planting kisses all over your skin. "why you keep leaving, huh?"

you groaned at her, not pulling away and leaning into her soft hands. the months away from home had been a harsh change and you were thankful for the warmth and familiarity that your home held, with its creaky floorboards and roaring fireplaces and the people and memories it had. over your mother's shoulders you could see your sister esther, her ginger head poking out the window with a wave. your soul was swarming with a hundred happy bees, buzzing with happiness.

"ok mama," you sighed, taking her hands from your face and holding them with a smile, "that's enough."

"alright, alright." she relented. "oh, the cold! bloody hell, did you come by train? how was it, did it smell?"

"no." you denied, tom saying "yes" at the same time. you shot him a glare as your mother started to ramble about london hygiene, heading back inside.

"god, I've missed this." tom said wistfully, quietly, staring at you as if you had all the time in the world. his brown eyes were warm and full of emotion, and you nodded, thinking of an entirely different thing, of fast love held long ago and passionate, soft spoken love that hid under the surface now, unspoken but still there.

"yeah." and your voice floated in the air between you and around you, along with everything you were feeling.

your mother cleared her throat from the doorway, and you could see your grandad hovering behind her in a checked shirt and his good blue jumper, your dad next to him. nothing had changed. the wallpaper was the same, the carpets were the same, the stains on every bloody surface were the same. you could see your yellow wellies underneath the kitchen window and smiled, soul happy. it felt like a decade since you'd been back home.

"don't rush her." your sister rebecca said, her hands pressed together.

"she's hardly flipping mo farah, is she?" your dad said. "if she goes any slower she'll start moonwalking."

"the moon landings are fake, honey." your mother said absently, hand waving.

and then esther was there, dragging you up the steps with a humph. "you're turning us into a ruddy freakshow, yn, hurry up."

esther glares at the neighbours peeking around their curtains, her eyebrows raised as if to say really?. "bunch of bloody cunts. anyway, hurry up, you too tom, I promised ben he'd get to smell the city on you. god, you've lost a lot of weight, your boobs must feel like two tangerines in a sock."

rebecca hugged you briefly, saying, "sorry, we redecorated your room while you were away. sure you won't mind a bit of megatron on your walls, benny loves him."

"I had worms in my bottom." ben piped up, trying to stick his fist in his mouth. "mum says im not to talk about it outside the house. or shove my fingers up my-"

"ben!" esther snapped covering his mouth. she'd had him during college, and had had her future plans foiled, and was now a single mother, still living at home. "good lord."

"don't the lord's name in vain!" your mother snapped from the kitchen.

your dad rolled his eyes, clapping tom on the shoulder, "I think she can take the lord's name down to butlins in a flipping wheelbarrow if we have to fast for him."

"allan!" your mum shrieked and you laugh, leaning into tom.

"welcome home, love." he sighed, a grin on his face as your mum starts off into a rant about religion.

-

  "benny, don't touch that!" esther scolded, pulling her son's arm away from the candle he was trying to eat. "mama has to bless us with it."

"aye, the power of the lord is going to cast out of her into our souls and fuc-"

"allan!" your mother walked behind him with a lighter in one hand and wooden spoon in the other, rapping him upside the head with it. "the lord will be inside me."

"I thought dad was the one married to you, mum?" you quipped, the grin on your face disappearing as she glared at you. you could hear tom hiding his laugh with coughs from beside you and you kicked his ankle under the table.

"ok, ok, that's enough," your dad giggled, waving a hand for your mum to sit down. she did so, reaching for esther and your dad's hands.

tom's hand was warm in yours and you squeezed it when your mother started the blessing. it was an uncommon thing, for your family to practice religion too much. you had grown up in a relaxed household, only praying during holidays and in times of need. nevertheless, your mother wouldn't let a single word against the lord be said in her small house, faithful to him at all times.

"are we done?" your dad's voice broke a moment of silence and your mother sighed, closing her eyes.

"allan, im blessing you. I still have to light the candles."

"oh, sod it, love." your dad said. "im sure god can light a candle for us, wherever he is."

"god is watching us right now!" your mother slapped your dad's straying hand, reaching forward to light the nine candles in the centre of the table.

"a moment of silence for frankie." you said, and your dad nodded, bowing his head. his candle was flickering with light in the middle of the table, and you spied your dad caressing your mother's hand when she let out a sniffle. you longed to have a love like theirs one day, together through thick and thin and fitting together in a way that ended in hilarious jokes and tender forehead kissed while tucked away in the kitchen. to have someone hold your hand always.

a hand nudged yours, and you turned to tom with a sigh. he was smiling a forlorn smile as he curled his fingers around yours, the warmth traveling through your body. it had been a long, tiring day, and you were more than happy to curl up on the sofa in front of the fire after the meal, it's heat never holding a candle to that which tom gave you.

"alright, eat." your mum finally said, and tom ripped his eyes away from yours to grab the roast potatoes before esther could, remembering how she always nicked them out from under everyone's noses. the meal passed with laughter and the odd shouting, ben trying to shove a brussel sprout up his nose disrupting it all.

-

  the next few days passed in a blurred bliss, like the few warm days after christmas. the house was warm and cozy, with joy seeping out the wallpapers and the floorboards into everyone's skin.

the day yom kippur came, your dad was a grumbly mess, having eaten all the yule log the day before to 'stock up his starch store' so he could 'be a plant' and promptly being shouted at by your mother.

"that was for later, you fat pig!" she had shrieked and you'd heard it from upstairs.

"bloody hell." tom chuckled from where he was sat curled up beside you, squashed in your tiny bed. you would never admit it, but the last few days had been heaven on earth because of him, and the way he made you happy, warm. you felt young again, like your soul was running through the fields all day and coming back home to your mother's warm hugs and your father's jokes.

"wait, no, we have to listen." you said through a giggle, sliding out of your bed and tiptoeing out to the landing, where esther was stood leaning over the banister already. you snorted, bumping her up with your hip, "dang, what you doing out here with all this ass?"

esther rolled her eyes, stepping on your toes as your mother started up again. "religion, allan!" she shouted and you wheezed. "it is the most important thing in this marriage-"

"what about our relationship?" your dad's voice was warbly, like he was trying not to laugh. you could imagine his red neck and creased cheeks, the way his foot would turn inwards before he started laughing.

"god-" your mother began, her voice equally high pitched and warbly, "-comes first, always. as does the cake you ate last night. how are we ever going to get a cake that good again?"

your dad's voice echoed up the large staircase as he said, "I mean, wait a bit love, and you could probably scoop it out the other end."

"allan!" your mother squealed and you had to press your face into tom's cardigan to stop yourself from being too loud. your mother burst into a tangent again, your dad sneaking off when she disappeared back into the kitchen, muttering.

his balding head poked up at you from the stairs, a grin on his face. "wahey, am I right?"

"waheyy!" the three of you replied, you sticking your thumb up at him.

-

  you hated yom kippur, you really did. the hungerness in your body seemed to follow you like a black cloud, making you scowl. esther never left her room during the day of fasting, and your father drank protein drinks -'you have to stay hydrated, could kill, you know?'- whilst your mother forced rebecca to supervise her whilst she was cooking at the end of it all, so as not to give in to the temptation.

you were squashed into the small twin bed your room could hold, tom pressed up against you as you watched downton abbey, not bothering to skip the parts in the kitchen. "elizabethan food is dutty." you had said when you propsed the idea.

"thought it was victorian."

"no, they had the same queen as us."

despite the stupidness the lack of food seemed to give the two of you, you were intent on finishing the fifth season before the sun set, bringing with it the rainbow and all the colours you cared about, but also the promise of food.

"it's so pretty." you sighed when the sun began to dip below the hills rolling around your town, all the houses situated in the little dip in the centre. most of the houses  had kitchens on the second floor as well, for when the sandbags got pulled out the garages and the doors got reinforced and the downstairs began to smell a little bit of dampness, of the showers in the summer camp you used to be forced to every year.

"you're a pretty munch."  tom said, patting your leg with his hand. his words were cheap, and his hand was careless but his eyes were loving, and showed all you needed to see.

"what are we doing?" you muttered, eyes trailing over his face to the features you had known for so long, that had become ingrained in your memory.

tom inched his head closer to yours, "dancing."

"we're not too good at it."

"we can teach each other." tom said softly. "until we're old, and grey, and I have to help you climb up the stairs."

his voice was strained and it took a few seconds to pick up on the want in it, the way he pleaded like a dead man come back, the way his eyebrows were furrowed in anticipation. in fear.

"don't lie to yourself, holland," you smirked, eyes fluttering close as you lips touched his. it was soft, but with the hunger and heat of a starved bull, and perhaps you were in love and maybe it had taken too long. his lips moved against yours in a dance your own knew so well, slotting together in every way they knew how. you were connected by your hands, his on your hip and elbow, yours on the broadness of his arm, the other holding you up.

you separated with a sweet, welcome ease, lovesick smiles a couple on your lips. "don’t lie to yourself, holland," you repeated, "I'd help you up the stairs."

"bungalows are pretty cool." he whispered, grinning.

"holy shit." ben's small voice came from the door and you groaned before snapping your head to him.

"benjamin! where'd you learn that language?"

"aunty annie." he replied, words coming out of the gaps in his teeth. your sister, anne, had disappeared to the next country over, or perhaps the next, you had no clue anymore, sending photos of anything and everything to the family groupchat. the other day she had sent a photo of a candle, the caption 'ughhh uwu hashem' tainting your brain for god knows how long.

"of course she did." you smiled a harsh smile that made your lips purse.

"am I going to get a cousin?"

"no, sweetie, now go to mummy and shut the door please."

ben smiled another toothless grin, a hand that was sure to be sticky waving in the air as he pulled the door shut behind him.

"well," you laughed, turning your head to tom, "how about we do that ag-"

the door slammed open to a head of ginger hair and you saw esther for the first time that day, hair a mess atop her head and legs bare sans an entirely too small pair of undies. the hello kitties on it were a faded link and you would've laughed if you didn't want to kiss someone so badly.

"y'all fucking?" she asked after a stunned silence. her eyes were wide and crazed, and the edges of her lips were pulling up.

"get out!" you shouted after a second, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at her. "don't tell mama!"

and the moment was ruined, but it wasn't. the arm snaked around you seemed so belonging all of a sudden and the wheezy breaths that told of an upcoming cold didn't annoy you anymore and the rhythmic bouncing of his socked foot against your leg was suddenly endearing and you felt whole again, completely and utterly whole, for the first time in years. your hearts were finally bonded and you souls were finally dancing their dance in their own way, clumsy and uncoordinated but knowing where the other was going to step and melding into each other's bodies. whole was a nice feeling to have, however late it arrived

fin

an; rosh hashana is one of the best jewish holidays, its new years! it's followed by a horrible day of fasting, yom kippur. I've based the readers religious practises on my childhood ones, as I had a very religiously relaxed household, and the family aspect of the holidays came above the religious ones. also, reader's mother's view on religion is used as a comedic value and wasn't meant to be offensive at all.

[southwindstories]

Dear Diary,

Being absent from Equestria, even for just a little while, has allowed me to re-aquaint myself with all the things that make our land so unique. The energy, the ebb and flow of the various natural, and unnatural, systems, the smells and the tastes. I missed them. Even when I didn’t think I was missing them, I was missing them. I swam in the maelstrom today, on the way down the coast near Unicorn range, toward Las Pegasus, and it was good to be home.

Non-native Equestrians always ask about our weather. Why it doesn’t seem to move on its own and we manually facilitate all of it, or where it all comes from, or why it doesn’t seem to be the case everywhere. The origins of the weather service are steeped in mystery, mostly due to age, but we’ve supposedly been handling it this way since before the great migration thousands of years ago. Which is interesting really, because when you look up northward where we came from, the weather there behaves on its own, albeit more violently. and when we came down to Equestria, local weather was reported as favorable and clear, which suggested it monitored itself pretty well without us. So what we’ve found from all this is that weather control is much less a factor of WHERE ponies are living, but more a result of the ponies themselves living there. We’re the cause.

Personally, I blame pegasus ponies. Unicorns are the popular go-to for most accusations of peculiar interference of the natural world, but we know that when a pegasus pony sits on a cloud it’s harder to move, and when a pegasus pony jumps on a cloud they can shake loose accumulated lightning. Our very nature effects the weather around us, and when you get enough of us in a geographic location, I think the natural way of things just starts to fade out, and we have to pick up the slack. Ive heard other theories regarding a sort of ‘magical equilibrium’ that comes from us being an innately magical species, and the need for the surrounding world to sort of ‘dial back’ its own autonomous environmental control to compensate for all the sparkles and sorcery we as a people kick up into the air. Its all rather difficult stuff to test, as, well, you’d have to kick all the ponies out of Equestria to know for sure. But the Everfree is about the closest example you’ll find, and its a pretty peculiar place.  Of course, its entirely possible some massive magical event happened a couple thousand years ago and messed it all up and we were just never told about it, but I try to give the Princesses the benefit of the doubt about things like withholding information. I have to, you know? The world becomes a rather troubling place if you don’t.

The maelstrom is a cloud surplus depot, the very same one I got my cutie mark in years ago. Its an enormous superstorm that roils around the west coast off shore so we can pull stormclouds from it without having to haul them clear across the country from Cloudsdale. Its also among my favorite places in Equestria, and where I keep my ‘house’. Not that it qualifies as one in the traditional sense, the place is different every time I see it and I cant really leave anything there that isn’t nailed down. But that’s half the fun.

The major importance of the Maelstrom is its natural connection to the lightning generator in Cloudsdale. Its called the Vajra, and its the highest security civilian-controlled artifact in the entire country, at least that I know of. The Vajra generates all of Equestria’s lightning.

All of it.

Seriously.

Stormclouds sent out by Cloudsdale are pre-charged by the Vajra and those charges can be passed around and distributed by weather ponies like myself who are trained in the proper handling of lightning. When clouds are depleted and need a recharge, they get shuffled back to Cloudsdale. Or, if there are too many stormclouds and the spares aren’t required, they come here to the Maelstrom so that a surplus for the west coast can be kept handy. Its a very clean cycle, but it has its share of anomalies. Equestria isn’t a completely closed system, and electricity and weather from surrounding parts of the world still gets in here and ends up in unexpected places doing unexpected things from time to time. Random lightning strikes, clouds re-charging on their own or pulling power from other clouds without pegasus pony help, this stuff happens. Its part of the reason we need an active weather service and not just a couple ponies maintaining everything.

[i-beg-your-parsons]

[Shreya] wasn’t in last week’s chapter, so have a fic (#1)

Relationship: Shreya Mistry/F!MC (Celestine Leblanc)

Count: 1775 words

So I’ve decided that I’m going to make this a series where I update this whenever a character (in this case, Shreya) is swept under the rug (so am I updating this every week, multiple times then? Who knows! 🙃). It’ll be good practice for me to get back into writing. But maybe not every week exactly, I’m starting my undergraduate thesis lol.

Apologies if they’re OOC, especially Aster? (She’s good friends with Shreya in this fic!!) I haven’t tried writing them much and it’s been a while since I did a fic lmao. Hope you peeps like!! Let me know if you want to be tagged for subsequent ones.

This uses the following prompts:

“My cat is more sassy than you’ll ever be.”

“Watch out! I can’t slow down! Move! Move! Move!”

“Am I good at skateboarding? Pfffft! Of course I am!”

Tags: @jellymonster, @deeohno, @coolios-beanios, @h-doodles

__

“Watch out! I can’t slow down!” 

Shreya is startled by a panicked voice, almost dropping her hand mirror on the sidewalk. She whirls toward the direction of the sound. What the - 

“Lady, please move, move, move!!” A blur of blue, red, and brown was hurtling towards her before her brain could really process anything. They make a sharp turn, just barely brushing her skirt, so thankfully she avoided being pummelled into the wall. Her three-inch heels, however, threw her off balance, making her stumble into a large potted shrub situated outside the facade of Maison D’Yew. 

Wonderful. How fucking elegant.

“Oh my stars, are you hurt?” A feminine voice calls out to her, presumably partially responsible for what had just transpired. Shreya inwardly huffs to rein in her annoyance. It would be extremely unsightly for a Mistry to throw a tantrum. At times like these, she was thankful for those dry etiquette lessons her parents made her take when she was seven. 

“I-It’s quite alright! I didn’t get hurt; just much too close and personal with this plant,” Shreya assures worried girl in her haughty ‘humble’ voice. 

(Well, something had to channel her anger. The thick branch digging into her back was not helping keep her head cool.)

She could feel the girl’s slender hands firmly grip her arms and try to pull her up. It was gentle and slow, but jagged twigs were poking her everywhere, “Ow, ow, ow!”

The sounds of her distress halt the girl from pulling her, but she still kept her grip. Her voice sounded more apologetic, if it was even possible, “I am so, so sorry! I told Zeph it was stupid to try riding the broom like a skateboard, but he didn’t really care because he said it would look cool.”

Everything was so fast and panicked and ridiculous that Shreya couldn’t help the wild giggles that bubbled up her throat as she nodded, “I can definitely vouch for the fact that it was stupid.”

Shreya could hear the girl grin, “Nice to know someone sides with me.”

A comfortable lull settles over them before the girl clears her throat. “Maybe I could try magicking you out?”

She seemed capable enough, so Shreya finds that she doesn’t mind. 

“OK, go for it.”

Flashes of green and brown lights from the Wood magick circle peek through the gaps between the leaves obscuring Shreya’s vision. Slowly, the twigs and leaves retract, revealing the face of her saviour as she leaned closer to pull her up by the shoulders.

And fuck: She was exactly Shreya’s type.

The blonde had her eyebrows furrowed in panicked worry as she gently picked off leaves that had gotten into Shreya’s hair and clothes. “Again, I am so sorry. I’ll be sure to give Zeph hell for dragging you into this.”

Shreya could feel the warmth creeping up into her cheeks and the tips of her ears. Her touch was so soothing. “It’s no problem. Is he going to be okay?”

The girl’s face scrunches up at the concern for Zeph. “Yes, probably… I think.” She opens one pale blue eye to find that Shreya was still looking at her, waiting for… what exactly? 

A furious blush colours the girl’s pale cheeks.

“I… should probably go make sure he’s okay. Have a good day, miss!” The blonde turns at the direction Zeph went off and starts at a sprint. It was only then that Shreya sprung into action, hurriedly calling out to the blonde before she left, “M-my name’s Shreya! What’s your name?!”

The blonde doesn’t look back at her, but she yells, “Celestine! See you around!”

—

“So that’s why Aoi was so grumpy when we stepped out,” Aster chuckles as she sipped her sencha tea. They’d been friends for a while, as Shreya was a regular at Maison D’Yew, despite having people who could easily run the errands for her at Mistry manor. Whether it was just a Shreya thing, or an excuse to visit Aster, the wood nymph didn’t mind. 

It was always nice to see one of her only friends.

“For what it’s worth, I apologised to Aoi the shrub before I went inside the shop,” Shreya offers. “And besides, it wasn’t all that terrible.” Her face warms at the memory of the girl — Celestine, she reminds herself — and the concern she showed for her. Shreya absently stares at the steam coming off her drink, remembering the blonde’s delicate blue eyes which were, fittingly enough, the colour of a strontium sulphate mineral, celestine. 

Her parents must be familiar with Attuneless science. I should ask her next time.

Silence descends over the two girls as Shreya spaced out and Aster observed her. She blows at her tea again, before taking a sip. “So when are you going to see her again?”

Shreya almost spills her hot drink and shoots Aster an incredulous look. The green-skinned girl pauses with a blank look of her own and blinks, before giggling as she realises her friend’s thought process.

“For the last time, I can’t read your mind unless you’re a plant. I just know what you look like when you’re excited about something.”

Shreya grips her mug a little tighter, in an attempt to fight down her worsening blush. Aster continues to observe her reactions over her cup of tea. “Or someone, in this case.”

“… She was really cute, okay?”

Aster can’t fight off the grin on her face. Checkmate.

She reaches out a woody hand to pry off Shreya’s own from her grip on the hot cocoa and pats her friend’s manicured nails. They were painted a deep crimson today. “You should ask her out.”

Shreya sighs, “But what if she’s not into girls? I don’t want her to be uncomfortable.”

Aster tilts her head slightly and blinks. It wasn’t like the heiress to resign herself to the possibility that the girl she was interested in identified as heterosexual. “But what if she is? And more importantly,” Aster leans into her friend’s personal space to whisper in her ear. 

“What if she’s into you?”

Shreya jerks back from her friend, clamping a hand over her ear. She shivers like she was just put under a shower of ice cold water. She narrows her eyes are the wood nymph as she tries to calm her breathing. “Why are you being so cheeky today, Ass?”

Aster simply shrugs with a pleasant smile. “One of us has to bring the cheek to move the conversation along. It’s obviously not going to be you, what with this smitten state you’re in.”

Shreya rolls her eyes, “Spare me; my cat’s sassier than you.”

Aster blinks, “You don’t have a cat.”

Shreya throws up her hands in exasperation, “That’s the point!”

The two continue to lock gazes in a contest of wills: Shreya with a piercing glare, and Aster with an amused sparkle. The competition was intense, as if the winner would have their argument proven right.

“Zeph, slow down! You might bump into someone again!”

Shreya’s attention immediately strays to the voice. Could it be…?

“No can do, Leblanc! Those croissants might get sold out!” A voice, presumably Zeph, answers as the front door of the café is slammed open by said male. “Hannah, my bro! Two croissants on the double!”

The short-haired blonde at the register rolls her eyes before shaking her head. “Alright, Denim. But sit your ass down, okay?”

Zeph flamboyantly stands at attention, before giving a dramatic salute. “Roger that, Pixie cut!”

“You’re being way too dramatic,” Celestine steps into the shop, putting her hair up in a ponytail, presumably to cool herself off from running after Zeph. Her hair tie is held between her lips, giving Shreya the perfect excuse to look at them.

Celestine seems to notice the stares directed at her, as her gaze connects with Shreya’s. Her eyes light up in recognition, and her hand immediately comes up to wave at the Fire-Att. 

“Why hello, Shreya! Fancy seeing you again,” Celestine walks over to their table, then rocks back and forth on her heels as she stands.

Shreya brings up a had to wave back, feeling the clamminess that had suddenly developed. “Hi, Celestine. I’m usually here every Saturday with my friend Aster here.” She gestures to Aster, who was absolutely buzzing with excitement. The flowers in her hair were blooming.

“As she said, my name is Aster and it’s so wonderful to meet you, Celestine. Shreya was just telling me about the incident this morning with my Hydrangea macrophylla, Aoi.” The wood nymph managed to get up from her seat and move towards Celestine within that sentence to grasp and shake the girl’s pale hand with her pliant fingers. “He’s thankful for your wood magick because it fixed the branches Shreya broke when she fell into him.”

Celestine draws a blank look, before looking over to Shreya for help. The heiress simply nods, but what does that even mean? She decides that it’s better to play along. “Well, he’s very welcome. I didn’t get the chance to tell him that his flowers were a very beautiful shade of blue.”

“Honestly, Aster, how many times do I have to apologise?” Shreya complains from her seat on the table.

Aster grins at Celestine’s response while pointedly ignoring Shreya, “I’ll be sure he gets the message.” She stares meaningfully into the confused blonde’s eyes, bringing up a hand to hover over the other girl’s cheek. Celestine can feel the coolness of her skin, a plant-like material that felt much like the stem of a flower. Her eyes suddenly darken into a tar-black, seeping into the veins of her translucent skin, “It’s not often that you find humans — Attuned, especially — who care as much for plants.”

Sensing the newcomer’s shock and exponentially growing discomfort, Shreya interrupts. “Hey, uhm, Celestine, would you guys like to sit with us?”

And just as suddenly, Aster is back from her Branching, “That’s a wonderful idea!” She moves to pull out the chair next to Shreya (and if it ends up skewed a little too close to her friend’s seat, well, Aster doesn’t know anything about that).

“I’ll go ahead and assist your friend there are the counter. It seems like he’s having a bit of trouble,” Aster points to where Zeph is gesturing wildly in a conversation with Hannah (aka Pixie cut), who was managing the counter. “Don’t eat her up while I’m gone,” she grins at Shreya, who blushed at the insinuation, but kept her cool this time. 

She fires back with a grin of her own.

“I make no promises.”

––

[owakoblack-portspa]

A Dream of Bethlehem

Fandom: Hetalia: Axis Powers

Pairings: Knights Hospitaller x Knights Templar; Prussia x South Italy

Characters: Teutonic Knights/Prussia (Gilbert),  Knights Templar (Chris),  Knights Hospitaller (Giovanni),  Kingdom of Sicily/South Italy (Lovino)

1

It is not a very good day to go to Acre, not a very good day at all, people warn little Gilbert. The deeper you go into the city, the more dangerous it becomes, people say. But I am a knight, I am not afraid, Gilbert braces himself. He has seen blood flowing like a river, he has seen corpses piling up a mountain, but he has never seen a hell like this, right in the heart of the capital of the Holy Land. In the streets of Acre, where Christians fight Christians, where brothers kill brothers, homicide and fratricide become natural, even though themselves are not natural at all--it is not a holy land, it is a wild world inhabited by evils. To Gilbert’s utter disgust, after the fall of the Genoese flag, advance the crimson Hospitaller banner and a group of knights in black uniforms into the burning street. ‘Wait, can’t you spare the citizens’ houses?’ Gilbert stands in front of the charging army, but he is unwilling to draw up his sword. ‘And can’t you see the Venetians are our enemies? Step aside, child!’ a tall Hospitaller waves his naked sword towards the little albino. A heavy sound of two clashing swords--a white knight shields Gilbert from the gigantic man, and a string of blood instantly spills onto the red petit cross embroidered on the chest. Even though his left palm is pierced by the sword, and an ugly, bloody hole appears as his enemy’s sword is swiftly and cruelly drawn away, the knight does not show any sign of fear, and quite on the contrary, his angelic face still keeps on smiling. ‘Brother Chris!’ ‘Christien!’

Two boys cry out at the same time. As Gilbert is lying on the ground and Chris is standing in front of him to protect, Giovanni appears just in time, his handsome face furious and sweaty. ‘Stop! The little one is the Teutonic Knights! Our ward!’ Giovanni shouts angrily to the tall Hospitaller. The anonymous Hospitaller sheathes his sword immediately, despite Giovanni the teenager looks much younger than him. ‘I’m sorry, Your Eminence,’ the Hospitaller now looks pallid and trembles like a leaf, ‘I didn’t mean to hurt His Eminence the Order of the Temple, but...’ ‘It’s nothing.’ Chris waves his injured palm impatiently to everyone, smiling as usual, ‘I love playing the role of a martyr. I am so glad that I protected little Gil, in spite of the fact that YOU are his guardian, Gio.’ Giovanni can tell the satire in Chris’ words, but he is not going to argue with a wounded person--after all, his another profession is doctor. ‘Let me see your wound, Christien.’ Giovanni’s voice becomes softer, but firm. ‘I’ve told you it’s nothing.’ Chris’ face becomes paler as he draws his sword in a position of defence, his flaming purple eyes threatening, ‘If you dare to touch me, I’ll revenge myself on you now!’ Giovanni stops short, staring at the blond with sudden coldness, ‘I won’t if I can.’ Then he turns to Gilbert, and raises up the little boy, ‘Are you alright, Gilbert? I’ve promised the Kingdom of Sicily to take care of you. I hope you’re not hurt.’ ‘Don’t treat me like a child!’ Gilbert’s reddened eyes make him look more like a rabbit, and he jumps high to protest. Giovanni does not take his protest seriously. He simply holds up Gilbert’s clenching hand, and retreats with his army, without casting another look at Chris, who remains standing in silence .

‘Brother Gio, can’t you treat Brother Chris a little better? He has saved me! And of all things, why do you two fight each other? You both are christian military orders!’ At the Hospitaller headquarters, Gilbert enquires. ‘The Knights Templar are stronger than us. If we don’t fight to protect ourselves, we’ll be destroyed by them.’ Giovanni replies calmly. ‘Why do the Knights Templar want to destroy you? Brother Chris in fact is very kind-hearted. Even though he knows I am on your side, he teaches me combat skills...hoops!’ Gilbert just realises that he has leaked the secret between Chris and himself. ‘Gilbert, you know I’m not happy to hear this. I hope you won’t betray me as you’ve developed a good relationship with my archrival.’

It has been a week since Chris was injured, and since that day, Gilbert has been bringing medicine to the Templar castle on Giovanni’s command as a punishment of his ‘betrayal’. What Giovanni requires Gilbert to keep in mind, is that Gilbert must not let Chris know who is actually prescribing medications. However, in the end, Gilbert cannot help telling the truth to Chris, ‘Brother Chris, I really hope you can stop fighting with Brother Gio. You see, he regrets what he’s done to you, and sends...’ ‘I hope Gio is not behind this, otherwise I will not accept medicine from you any more.’ Chris interrupts quickly. ‘Why do you hate Brother Gio so much, Brother Chris?’ ‘I hate him for not sending me medicine, and I will hate him more if he asks you to send me medicine. In sum, I just hate him.’ Chris strokes his bandaged left palm with tender passion, but Gilbert is too young to observe this detail or understand these words.

After this street fight, the two gangs seem to have ceased fire for a while, not only because one of their leaders is injured, but also because the festive spirit is approaching. In the Cathedral of Acre, people busy themselves with the preparation of the biggest event of the year--Christmas. The interior of the church is semi-decorated, and still more flowers and plants are coming. ‘Gilbert, have you understood the ceremony process that I’ve just told you?’ Giovanni bends down to speak in the ear of the absent-minded little knight. Both of them stand beside the alter. Gilbert jumps, and finally turns his attention from revery to the taller knight, ‘Sorry, what did you just say?’ ‘Could you tell me why you can’t take your eyes off the audience seats in the church? Are you expecting someone?’ Giovanni frowns. ‘Brother Gio, do you know if Frater will visit Acre for Christmas?’ Gilbert asks carefully. ‘Yes, the Kingdom of Sicily told so me in a letter. And he will attend the Christmas mass as well.’ On hearing the news, Gilbert reacts dramatically: firstly his jaw drops, then his grin broadens, and finally he raises his hands high up in the air, ‘Hallelujah! What a good tiding!’ ‘Calm down yourself, Gilbert! Shouting is forbidden in the church. And if you don’t want Sicily to be disappointed with you, you have to work hard in preparation, understood? It’s your first time to celebrate Christmas, there’re many things for you to learn.’ ‘I know, I know! I’ll work hard for Frater, and on Christmas I’m going to pay my homage to Frater, and then I’ll become a real knight! I’m so awesome! Everything’s going to be perfect! Kesesese!’ Gilbert laughs happily. ‘Don’t be too proud, Gilbert. You have to work hard to achieve your goal. Remember: no pain, no gain.’ ‘But there’s someone lazier than me! Even though Brother Chris’ wound is getting much better, he never comes to the rehearsal, and he’s going to sing in the choir!’ ‘Christien’s done the mass many times so he doesn’t need much rehearsing, and in fact, I don’t think he wants to see me.’ Giovanni looks at the choir practicing singing in a corner of the church, which is consisted of young boys in white dresses. The most beautiful one is missing, just as he has expected.

2

The Cathedral of Acre has already been enunciated with devout Christians hours before the bells announce the approach of Christmas and the beginning of the Christmas Midnight Mass. The interior of the cathedral is full of the festive spirit, decorated with myriads of flowers, draperies, hangings, ribbons, and candles, making this spacious sacred place shine with all colours of the solar spectrum. Now the congregation is holding its breath to hear the steps of the approaching holy moment, that is to say, waiting for the mass procession enter into the nave. After the bells strike twelve times, silence remains as if time stood still, so everybody turns their head to the church entrance to look for the priests and professed knights. After several seconds pass, finally, to everyone’s relief, the door opens, and a group of people in surplice solemnly walk in. At the head of them is little Gilbert with silver hair and red-pupiled eyes, swinging from side to side a golden, smoking censer in his hands. The little albino holds his chin high and looks straight ahead, so even the distant audience can tell from his rigid movements and his slightly reddened physiognomy that he is at the moment very nervous. Many in the congregation do know that for this new-born German military order, it must be his first time to perform holy services in such a big event, and accordingly they understand his nervousness and cross their fingers to pray for his success in the debut. Among the understanding, kind-hearted people, is Lovino, the Kingdom of Sicily, who comes all the way from Palermo for this special occasion, and who now sticks his little brown head out from the crowd into the aisle covered with red carpets, which makes him so distinct that even Gilbert’s sweat-filmed eyes cannot prevent the little knight from noticing this great kingdom from afar. Consequently, Gilbert starts short, as if petrified, but Lovino is no malicious Medusa--quite on the contrary, he is the most amiable personage here, so he tries to unlock the magic spell by waving his little hand and smiling sweetly to his little knight, to salute, and to encourage him. However, for Gilbert, this is more like an ignition before an explosion than a mere encouragement, for in response, stuffed of energy, he sets himself off high in the air like a rocket, the censer in his hands swinging like a mad turning wheel, spilling hot incense everywhere. All at once a commotion is caused--people sitting nearby the aisle stand up to run, only to find that within such a dense crowd running is almost impossible, thus some panic is caused as well. At this critical moment, Giovanni, who walks beside the bishop in the middle of the procession, dashes out to catch the censer which now is flying out of Gilbert’s hands, and fortunately, after the catch, he is agile enough to regain his balance in time, and stands upright with the golden censer safely contained in his hands. He makes some effort to restrain himself from panting heavily, and immediately resumes his solemn, imperturbable look to hide his shock of this unexpected episode. Realising what has just happened, Gilbert becomes the most panicked person in the cathedral. He dare not look at Lovino’s face to see his disappointment, so he looks down onto the floor, feeling too shameful for himself to move. Seeing this, Giovanni pats Gilbert’s shoulder from behind to urge him to proceed, otherwise the procession would be blocked even though Gilbert is short and tiny. Accordingly Gilbert moves on, and from now on, he becomes half absent-minded for his sense of guilt, head drooping. Despite this, the following process goes on smoothly, the episode is soon forgotten, the audience watch the performance of the servers quietly, listen to the priests’ sermons attentively, and respond by saying ‘amen’ when their heart is quite touched. However, Gilbert’s tribulations are not yet finished. As a novice, he is to give a speech in front of the holy altar, in the face of the public. It is a narration of the nativity, which should have been already familiar to any christian, so before the mass, Gilbert was so confident that he did not bring the script with him. Now, it is high time for Gilbert’s speech, and for the sake of the sense of guilt he is still sweating heavily as if he had just been fished out from the sea: ‘It was...it was in the year of four before Christ, before Christ was born. (A pause.) On the day when Christ was born, Mary found no place to lie down herself and give birth to her child, so she just...she just lied down on the floor, (some hiss from the audience) and she saw stars shining bright in the sky. Oh, I forget to say, (laugh from the audience) there was an angel coming from the sky to tell her that the child is the savior of mankind. So back to the night when Jesus was born, there were three magicians...(somebody hoots)’ Finally Gilbert’s frustrated voice seems to fade away, and people can hardly hear what the little knight is saying, and neither can they see his mouth moving, for he persists in hanging his head down. Lovino, who sits in the front row for the prerogatives possessed by such a great kingdom like him, clasps his hands all the time to pray for Gilbert, and he even dare not bat his big, radiant eyes lest they would distract his knight, but it seems all his prayers are in vain. Giovanni, who stands righteously and solemnly among the priests and servers, is as anxious as Lovino from the bottom of his heart. ‘Can anyone please do something?’ he asked without producing a sound.

‘--Long time ago in Bethlehem So the Holy Bible say Mary’s boy child, Jesus Christ Was born on Christmas day.’

Suddenly, people hear someone singing. At first, people think it is the ringing sound of a crystal stream, for it is so limpid, so pure; and then, when they realise that it is from above, they take it as the voice of an angel, for it is so beautiful and so unearthly, like a beam of light piercing through thick clouds to warm the earth, to fill everyone’s heart with bliss. While the confused audience are looking about themselves, only Giovanni immediately finds out whence the voice is from--he has heard this voice on every Christmas, and yet he still can hardly believe it--as soon as he hears the singing, he raises his head and looks up to the carved balcony facing the altar where he is standing by, and sure enough, he sees a thin, pale figure stand out of the choir boys, beneath the enormous silver organ. It is Chris who is singing. He is clad in white, laced surplice, his pale countenance becomes more tender in the radiance from the white texture, and his soft, curly blond hair makes him shine like a midnight sun. He is not yet grown up, his delicate human form hardly tells his gender, and therefore he looks more beautiful than any man or woman, and so clinks his sweet, heavenly singing voice. Here he stands, so pure he looks, so angelically he sings, even Giovanni has to admit that on this particular occasion, if Chris were not the messenger from God, he cannot tell who this sweet creature could be. ‘It’s the Knights Templar!’ a little girl cries out happily, and her mother quickly quiets her. Even Gilbert looks up from the floor to the balcony gratefully as if he has found his savior, so continues Chris:

‘While shepherds watched their flocks by night Them see a bright new shining star Them hear a choir sing The music seemed to come from afar.

Now, Joseph and his wife, Mary Come to Bethlehem that night Them find no place to born she child Not a single room was in sight.

By and by, they find a little nook In a stable all forlorn And in a manger cold and dark Mary’s little Boy was born.’

The choir boys standing behind Chris, who are also sweet-looking, though not as beautiful as he, begin to sing harmoniously, and all the people in the cathedral sing along:

‘Hark, now hear the angels sing A new king born today And man will live forevermore Because of Christmas day.’

Now everyone rejoices again, because they take part in such a beautiful choir led by an angel, and has never felt so close to God before.

In many aspects, the midnight mass is as successful as last year, so afterwards everybody goes home happily. However, in a dark corner of the sacristy, Gilbert is found sobbing quietly. Because others are gone, only Giovanni and Chris see him. Chris bends down over Gilbert, beaming innocently as ever, and says cheerfully, ‘Gil, don’t cry, it’s Christmas!’ ‘I’m so stupid, I know nothing of Christmas! I’m not fit for being a knight!’ Gilbert tries to conceal his tearful face by burying it between his crouching knees. Even though Giovanni was unhappy for Gilbert’s failures of performance at tonight’s mass, which he believes are the results of Gilbert’s arrogance and ignorance of his persuasion, his benign heart is touched by the little one’s sadness and frustration, so he attempts to comfort Gilbert: ‘To err is human. If you learn from experience, you’ll be forgiven.’ Nevertheless, Giovanni’s austere tone makes Gilbert feel more miserable, ‘Forgiven? Will I be forgiven by Frater? Perhaps I can’t never become his knight!’ ‘Gio, you frightened little Gil!’ Chris criticises his big rival, and continues to console Gilbert by an even more tender voice, ‘come on, Gil, I’ll show you something. I’m sure you’ll learn Christmas by heart. Don’t worry.’ He winks, stands up, and leads Gilbert to the courtyard of the cathedral. Giovanni does not trust Chris, so he follows them into the cool midnight air. Standing under the purple starry sky, Chris brings out from his pocket a plain stone cup. ‘I’m going to use this to bring us to the night when our Lord Jesus Christ was born. You can come with us if you want, Gio.’ ‘Wait, is this...the Holy Grail?’ Giovanni is astonished. ‘Exactly.’ Chris replies matter-of-factly. ‘I didn’t know you possess it.’ Giovanni says darkly, and quickly makes the sign of the cross. In secret, he feels his stomach aching--how come his rival obtains the most sacred relic in the christian world? ‘You don’t have to know everything,’ smiles Chris. It happens very fast. After a flash of blinding light, the three knights are altogether brought to another time and place. The time is still night, but the environment is changed into a dry, rocky wild land. ‘Look! There’s the bright shining star!’ Chris points to the enormous brilliant star hanging in the eastern sky. ‘What does this mean?’ Gilbert is bewildered by this strange environment. ‘Gilbert, how many times have I told you to read the Bible more carefully?’ Giovanni’s austere look makes Gilbert wince. ‘Relax, Gio. It’s the Holy Night, let’s behold the miracle!’ Chris leads the group to walk in the direction of the bright star. After a while, they see a manger at the top of a hill. ‘Is it...?’ Gilbert is shushed abruptly by Giovanni. The three of them carefully approach the manger on tiptoe. The manger basks in the bright shining star right above, so they can see the scene clearly: Mary has just now given birth to baby Jesus, who is sleeping comfortably in his mother’s arms, and Joseph stands by them, watching the baby with great interest and affection. Noticing people approaching, Mary is alert, but as soon as she sees these people are three good-looking young boys in some kind of cassocks, she smiles and gestures them to come closer. ‘Our Lord Jesus, we’ve come to worship you.’ Both Giovanni and Chris kneel down before the little baby who opens his beautiful eyes to look upon them curiously. After realising who the baby is, Gilbert imitates his brothers to fall on kneels, not without clumsiness. Seeing this, Mary smiles affectionately to the timid little knight, and says, ‘thank you for visiting us in such a bleak winter night. Don’t be anxious, little knight, baby Jesus is very happy to see you.’ Gilbert looks up to see Mary’s smiling face, and sees a mother in her, a mother he has never had, or met, in his life. Suddenly, the albino bursts into tears, ‘oh Mother, Mother!’ Mary pats Gilbert’s silver head, speaks to him in a voice so gentle as if singing a lullaby, ‘little child, you have such beautiful hair. Don’t cry, you’ll be loved.’ It is Gilbert’s first time to be praised by someone for his hair--being an albino, he has been jeered and teased all his life. It is not necessary to describe how happy Gilbert is in seeing the Holy Virgin, and he lays his head upon her knees. Meanwhile, Giovanni finds Chris’ pale face full of tears too. Before the little Lord, the beautiful knight clasps his hands tightly while on his knees--he looks so pious, so humble that he makes this moment divine. Unconsciously, Giovanni wears a smile on his face-- O Silent Night! O Holy Night!

On the next morning, Gilbert is woken up by a familiar voice: ‘Gil, wake up! Are you alright?’ When he opens his eyes, he sees Lovino shaking his shoulder anxiously. Thus he sits up abruptly, ‘Frater! Why are you here?’ ‘Dear Gil! I was worried about you so I came to the morning mass early to see if you’re alright, but I didn’t know you slept in the courtyard over night!’ Lovino exclaims, ‘it is not good! You’ll catch cold!’ His puffing face is on the brink of tears. It is Gilbert’s turn to feel worried too, for his heart will break if he sees Lovino cry. ‘Dear Frater, I’m totally fine, so please don’t cry!’ he holds Lovino’s little hand, faking a smile to comfort him, ‘I spent a whole night with Brother Gio and Brother Chris to worship little Lord Jesus in Bethlehem, you have to know how happy I am! Please don’t worry about me!’ ‘Really?’ Lovino’s watery emerald eyes look into Gilbert’s rubies, and he sees truthfulness in them, ‘good, then. But where are Gio and Chris?’ Both of them look around. Beside the wall of the cathedral, they see Giovanni and Chris lying down there, holding each other’s body closely as if to keep warm and sleep more comfortably. Hearing noises, the two sleepy knights are awakened--it is not difficult to imagine the surprised look on their faces. However, instead of letting out a shriek or kicking each other away, in peace, they exchange morning greetings: ‘Morning, Gio.’ Chris smiles like an angel waking up from his sweetest dream. ‘Good morning, Christien.’ Giovanni blushes. He will never admit that it is Chris’ crystal purple eyes that make his heart beat fast, and he feels a little reluctant to let Chris’ warm body leave his arms when both of them get back to their feet. ‘Christien, wait!’ ‘What?’ Chris quickly turns back to face Giovanni, his huge eyes sparkling. ‘I want to apologise for the wound in your palm. I should have stopped my people hurting you.’ Giovanni smites his handsome brow. ‘It’s not your fault,’ Chris smiles mildly, ‘and I want to thank you for healing me.’ ‘You know the medicine was sent by me?’ ‘Of course, do you forget how long we’ve known each other? And as I’m your archrival, who do you think could know you better than me?’ Smiling mysteriously, Chris briskly wheels around. Without knowing why, Giovanni suddenly feels a special attachment to his rival and comrade, so he instinctively follows Chris’ white robe, which is billowing in the wind like an angel’s enormous wings. Later on, in the Christmas morning mass, people are surprised to see the two long-term rivals stand side by side in the procession, and even exchange friendly looks at intervals during the liturgy. ‘It happens once a year that the two great military orders make a truce. After all, it’s Christmas, it’s time for peace, for forgiveness, and for love.’ Among the audience, some Venetians whisper quietly, and then they shake hands with their Genoese neighbours. As for Gilbert, this time, he has done much better especially in the narration of the nativity. When the mass is done and the cathedral becomes empty, he cautiously kneels down before Lovino, ‘dear Frater, I want to be your knight, but I’m not yet perfect--could you wait until I’m fit?’ ‘I don’t need you to be perfect. Whenever you feel yourself is ready, I’ll be ready to take you as my knight.’ Lovino blushes. ‘I promise it won’t be too long, Frater.’ Gilbert tenderly kisses Lovino’s hand.

(End)

[00nine21]

i am sad and i want to complain about my parents&friends and tumblr is the only place where none of my real life friends have accs

as an artsy kid sometimes im doing weird things bc i want to, or paint a little creepy painting that i dont want to talk about, wanna hide it and keep for my eyes only

i am also pretty fucked up, mood swings all the time and shit, eating disorders, insomnia and other shit that i dont talk about with my parents or friends cuz it wont do any good

(allright, before you will scream at me to talk about it with them- please dont and keep reading)

so yeah, my parents are great theyre showing me some love and affections, theyre not absent 24/7 (well my dad maybe is like semi-absent figure but i dont really mind) but when it comes to me beeing me, they loose it all

once we were arguing for a week cuz i painted this painting with a naked hanged and bloody lady but in a really cartoon way, so its not gorey, but they kept screaming at me how much they want to hang it on a wall buy a frame and put it somewhere everyone can see. AND I TOLD THEM SO MANY TIMES I DONT WANT THEM TO. that i will feel uncomfortable, i literally started crying begging them to leave it alone(and then hid the paiting for two weeks so they wont find it)

theyre a really traditional familywhen it comes to art "oh my kid know how to paint, lets show everyone how superior they are" and i hate it i hate it I HATE IT they never listen to me if its not important to them or wont reply to my sentence i hate it so much im gonna loose it all

i hate how they wont let me be my-weird-angsty-self even tho they dont really care

and they act like this just bc "what will others think" well i dont give a fuck about other byf my whole country still thinks that way all the time and even my friends

OHHHHH MY "friends"

you know this one lyric from fall out boy? i hate all my friends i miss the days when i pretended? it haunts me cuz it is how my situation looks like

im leaving highschool in three months and ive been hanging around the same ppl for three years. none of them knows about art and when i want to show them smth they dont understand why would i want to draw that or what is it when im going more experimental

mental disorders are still beeing kept in a closet in my country, everyone thinks "theyre pretending, none can me mentally sick" so they joke a lot about ppl with depression, anorexia, beeing hospitalized, suicides, you get it? theyre also rasist (like full on hating everyone, jews, ukrainians, russians, german, and so it goes) and homophobes

thats actually worth a pity laugh cuz half ot them is like

im not homophobic but ewww i cant stand guy i a dress or with make up how can they be like that ewwwww and also please dont talk to me about youre gay friend finally gettin a boyfriend i dont want to hear about it"

but rasism and homophobia is a really common thing about polish teens, most of them will hate you for just beeing you

so i hide who i am in my house and in my school, whenever im with my friends or parents. im so sick and tired of that and it feels like the only gateaway is moving out to another country (wich hopefully ill do in august/september this year)

i needed a shoulder to cry on cuz im always keeping all the negavite emotions in me

[truthbeetoldmedia]

Shameless 9x11 “The Hobo Games” Review

With just a few episodes of the season left, Shameless is really amping up the drama — but it might be too little too late.

Episode 11, “The Hobo Games,” begins with Fiona in a motel room full of people. The viewer doesn’t know how she got here, as she was most recently seen being carted off to jail in a cop car, and it’s likely Fiona doesn’t have the answer either. She steals a bottle of oxy and is chased out of the building with a “Southside trash” thrown her way for good measure, an insult Fiona has certainly claimed with pride by now.

When she returns to the Gallagher house, Debbie is still making home improvements and needs cash to buy a furnace. So, Fiona wanders off to the street corner Carl used to frequent in his drug peddling days and sells the pills. She has to get creative after all, now that she’s out of a real job.

Meanwhile, Carl goes to work where he’s promoted to fry cook, though he’s distracted throughout the day by fears of Debbie attempting to seduce his girlfriend, Kelly. The two are getting suspiciously close and even Carl’s coworkers feed into his fears when they tell him the two look like lovers.

Across town, V has convinced Kev to get a vasectomy following their bad luck fostering Santiago. V believes he’s gone through with the procedure and when he’s acting strange, decides to drop off Amy and Gemma at the Gallagher house before going to work at the Alibis. Veronica later finds out that Kev had chickened out of the procedure and lied to her.

At the Hobo Loco Games, the last few competitors face off for the cash prize. As Frank attempts to focus all his energy on winning, Ingrid fears he will not stay loyal to her and her unborn babies. She decides to test Frank by lying to him, telling him she’s miscarrying. However, he’s more concerned with winning the money. After he loses the competition and Ingrid’s test, Frank returns home to find that she is leaving him and reducing the embryos to two — not that Frank will have anything to do with them as far as she’s concerned.

Lip, all the while, is attempting to adopt Xan who, in the last episode, showed up at the Gallagher house as her mom had disappeared (again). Though the initial appointment goes okay, Tammi is missing. And then, when Lip is out buying Xan a bunk bed, a social worker shows up at the house. A drunk Fiona answers the door and the social worker is left visibly unimpressed by the state of her and the house.

Lip’s bad luck continues when he waits outside of Tammi’s work to confront her about her no show and she reveals to him that she’s pregnant. The two have virtually no time to talk about their options because just when Lip thinks things can’t get any more stressful, his sponsee Jason calls. He reveals to Lip that he’s slipped up and needs to talk.

Jason later reveals to Lip that Fiona had stopped by the shop looking for him and offered him vodka, sending him into a downward spiral during which he also shot up heroin. Furious, Lip finds Fiona at home and confronts her about her interaction with Jason. After an icy standoff, Lip tells Fiona that he wants her out of the house.

There were so many interesting twists and turns this episode, but why are they just happening now?

This season as a whole has felt so oddly paced to me, with several episodes feeling like filler material and others being stuffed to the brim with tension and plot twists. For example, why has Fiona spent a quarter of the season drinking her days away with no intervention from anyone and is just now facing consequences, such as being fired from her job and kicked out of the house?

Why has Lip been doing nothing but hanging out with Tammi for several episodes in a row, only to now have three significant plot points dropped in his lap?

And what was the point of giving Frank the opportunity to be a father again and to win a large sum of money, only for both plotlines to be abandoned anticlimactically at the end of the season?

And meanwhile, the other characters in the show have been given lackluster storylines. Debbie especially has done next to nothing this half-season besides make improvements to the house and pay for the bills.

Carl, meanwhile, has shown no ambition to continue his military career, the dream he’s been chasing for three seasons now.

This episode was entertaining, don’t get me wrong. I love Lip and Fiona arguments with every fiber of my being. Jeremy and Emmy have such an amazing chemistry that makes these scenes absolutely electric. However, it almost felt like this scene should’ve happened a long time ago. Lip should’ve confronted Fiona about her behavior long before she gave his sponsee alcohol, especially because he knows what it’s like to be an alcoholic who needs help and support.

I enjoyed Lip immensely this episode, but part of me feels like I’m seeing a version of him I’ve never seen before, and not in a good way. He’s changed drastically without any onscreen development, and this makes it hard for me to believe who he is and what he’s doing. This is pretty much consistent for every character this season If I’m being honest.

The placement of blame on Fiona for everything going wrong feels unnecessary and solely ammo for Lip to get so angry he kicks her out, thus giving Emmy an exit. I suppose if Lip offered to help her, something much more in character for him or any of the other siblings, really, she wouldn’t have an out.

Perhaps Emmy’s decision to leave the show was last minute, but her exit has been written poorly and caused so many characters to do things they would never do. Even Fiona’s friends like Kev and V are absent from her life, which is extremely out of character for both of them.

I’m still looking forward to seeing how this season ends and how Fiona gets her final exit, but I’m unsure of how this leaves every other character moving forward. How will they continue to interact with each other, given that they’re suddenly so cold and no longer focused on being a family? With Fiona and Ian both gone, are we finally seeing the demise of the Gallagher clan?

I’m not sure how much longer this show can continue, quite frankly, and I’m more fearful than excited for what Season 10 may bring. I worry that Shameless has become unrecognizable, and is no longer the story of the dysfunctional but tightly-knit and fiercely loyal Gallagher family we’ve all grown to love. With that being said though, it’s been renewed for a reason. So maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised by the episodes to come.

Shameless airs Sundays on Showtime at 9/8c.

Jessica’s episode rating: 🐝🐝

[caelin-ismycity]

Please tell us more about Tellius ships

god theres a lot of ships with how many bitches there are in this game- like id have to play through the game some more which i plan on doing anyway to write an essay-ass anthology of all the good shit here but for now i can shoot off my faves

ike/boyd:

yall already know i like myself some elihec and one reason is cause of their lil rivalry/best friend relationship yknow- you can look at those losers romantically or not and it’d still be some Good Shit. 

same logic with ike/boyd honestly- especially with there bantering asses in the beginning and generally how boyd tends to think of ike immediately when it comes to finding a sparring partner or just helping him out during their quest with the tri-arrow attack discussed with rolf and oscar.

another scene i found cute was after ike and others disobeyed titania and sought out the bandits alone and when greil is about to rip into ike about disrespecting orders, boyd’s the first one (i think its been awhile since i played that chapter) to step up and take the blame (admitted by him to be pretty out of character which i like to interpret as boyd just being flustered that hes caught caring for ike beyond their competitiveness)

unfortunately, not only is fe9 hard to play legally because of its stupid price, but even if you did sell your soul to buy the game intelligence systems has cursed my household by not allowing ike and boyd to have any support conversations, nor any interactions all together beyond a certain chapter, so ike/boyd is one of the rarest pairs you can like in this series especially considering the most popular ship is ike/soren with the tellius series

ike/ranulf

ike and ranulf meet uhhh god i dont rememebr honestly- but they meet about halfway into the game when ike and co properly become associated with the beast laguz where ranulf, considerably, becomes a reoccurring ally to the greil mercenaries.

couple reasons why i love these two- one being the whole laguz/beorc thing ight (lemme get on that in a sec). i.e., ike is big on joining laguz and beorc together, and ranulf doesnt really seem to mind them (i say ‘doesnt seem to mind them’ because, if i remember right, ranulf has real issues trusting beorc and even tells ike that if he naively trusts people he’ll end up hurt). ergo, id imagine that ike would love to get to know more about the laguz alltogether and ranulf himself (he’s clearly curious considering h is supports with lethe as well). additionally, their C support is fuckin cute as hell with ranulf taking pride in making ike laugh/smile at one of his jokes (which tbh i thought would set the grounds for a lovely af A support but instead i get ranulf calling ike a nitwit for trusting him so easily so thanks intell).

another big moment for me is how ike hardly hesitated to defend ranulf from the other beorcs after he was discovered in that one really racist town (its the one where you get zihark and board nasir’s ship y’all know the one) even if it jeopardized the possibility of them escaping the town quietly (double points for ranulf insisting on ike leaving him alone and ike essentially telling ranulf to fuck off with that shit)

its utter trash that ranulf joins the mercenaries at the very end of the game (maybe chapter 25-26? you get JUST enough chapters to achieve their A support), not to mention he pops in-and-out of the gang’s path to actually talk to ike. but im grateful there’s some content for these two, even if there isn’t as much as i would like

kieren/oscar

again yall know i love that rivalry shit but this time it’s extremely one sided on kieran’s part (oscar more-or-less just dealing with it and not making a fuss about it). but damn if there isn’t potential, especially when you can take kieran’s insistent rivalry as some form of admiration for oscar (not to mention the possibilities of their past with oscar originally working alongside kieran)

double points for kieran’s insistence that oscar come back with him to work as a crimean knight again (obviously more because kieran’s genuinely astonished oscar would willingly work with lowly-payed, unknown, not-pristine mercenaries). you can really just take it as kieran really lowkey missing oscar but being too prideful to admit it

ill also be damned if oscar cooking with kieran/teaching him how to cook wouldnt be the tightest shit to watch; i cant tell if kieran would be too stubborn to let oscar fully mandate what he does, begrudgingly listens to oscar, or is utterly impressed with oscar’s culinary skills and insists that ‘only someone as amazing as his rival would obviously be fit with abilities like that’

kieren/rhys

not exactly phat on my radar but it is cute as hell considering how easily concerned rhys becomes of kieran (and for good reason to the fucker regularly bludgeons himself with an axe and he wrestles bears jesus christ man), so its easy to imagine rhys making the excuse to kind of baby kieran to make sure he isn’t seriously hurt on or off the battlefield to just look/watch him

its also pretty fun to imagine rhys going with kieran when the dumb bitch proudly tells the army he’s about to go bear wrestling and rhys getting to see kieran ;lightly’ clothed to fight a fucking bear

im pretty sure in their A support, rhys tells kieran that if he isn’t more careful then the army’ll lose their most valuable soldier to something as stupid as a self-inflicted axe wound. its obvious that rhys said something along the lines of that (as well as a couple of other things in that support) because he acknowledges kieran’s self importance, but its also cute to imagine that rhys was able to use that fact to his advantage to tell kieran how much he means to himself (bonus points if, alternatively, rhy’s dialogue would follow some shit like ‘I- uh... We can’t lose a soldier as important as you, Kieran.’)

gatrie/shinon

another lowkey one (considering shinon and gatrie are absent for a decent portion of the game post initial chapters), but the one support i did manage to get of them was enough to sell me- cause frankly i find the idea of shinon teasing gatrie about buying them dinner and gatrie just being like “hhrhrum” as he begrudgingly agrees to be endearing; i.e. the sinon mentallity being ‘If you’re going to throw your money at everything, you might as well spend it on something worthwhile’ aka ‘lets just have a nice dinner together instead of you buying some random girl three bouquets of roses’

they also have a pre-planned attack together (albeit quickly mentioned to titania) like cmon they bondin yall they conversin

finally i love how shinon’s taller than gatrie- like this isnt necessarily ship-related i just finally have the opportunity to say it. like shinon could absolutely tease gatrie about it like ‘what did you say you wanted a kiss? ? ? i cant hear you from down there’ and gatrie just playfully punches his arm like ‘bro- dude- cmon please i missed you all day just bend down for two seconds’

i’ve been typing for a while and ive got the attention span of a brick but these are the ships i think of the most. during my second playthrough ill be damned if i dont develop more but feel free to send in more ship shit

[regoregitates]

i think im misunderstood. i dont understand myself and im adamant nobody else can fathom out the way i am and why ive always done the things i do. ive been like this for a significant amount of months. i think im lost? 

well im sure i am as i dont know what my future will look like. i keep doing things that i know trigger my manic episodes. i feel too much, perhaps if there was a switch i was able to control i wouldnt feel so misunderstood because id be in control entirely. or maybe its not even about control?

either way im very depressed right now, i no longer enjoy the things i used to all because everything was so sudden, being absent of a person isnt that big of a deal generally but somehow it is for me, it’s never been like this before and the whole atmosphere is scary. being absent of someone you clearly depended on a hell of a lot is something ive never truly experienced to its full capacity, im not really sure what dependency is? i never knew what i expected of them, i wanted the bare minimum and i didnt receive that, and thats okay. i shouldnt be hard to love however my trauma has made me this way, they kinda got rid of the reminder for me. it was something i didnt have to worry about because he made me safe. i wonder if he truly feels happy, as harsh as ive been towards him - i hope he is. i think? 

i talk about him too much for who he truly is, im proud of him. im proud of him for being sensible when i really am not, im childish because im sick. i know im exceptionally ill mentally due to all of my unresolved trauma, i was 9 and now im 15. my therapist mentioned to me that perhaps im still mentally the age of 9 because i was never able to come to terms at the time so its still impacting my emotions.

i feel like a very lonely person purely because of the things that have happened to me and all of my unsuccessful relationships ive been a part of, ive never truly reflected on them. simply just moved on to the next because i thought it benefitted me. i think thats why i freaked out at him when i realised he didnt even consider waiting. it probably is. at the end of the day being as unloved as i have been throughout my childhood i think love just is not for me now.

i want to be a good person to people but i think everytime i try to be ‘loving’ it turns into a very toxic and inherently sickening act of limerence. i wonder if ive truly ever known what love is without the infatuation i face? im still very young and supposedly have my ‘whole life ahead of me’ however im not sure if i want to live that life if i cant even love someone. from a really young age ive always wanted to be loved, ive wanted to provide for someone and make their life worth living and perhaps with him, just like all of the others, i inevitably tried too hard. 

my hope and selflessness would probably be my demise if i was in a really shitty low-budget movie idk that sounds cliche... regardless of my mental health i want to love but i dont think im going to learn that for a long time, which upsets me.

i miss the person i used to be before all of this happened, its so ironic how me and my friends would say i was the only ‘mentally stable’ one yet i cant even stay clean for more than two days. its been such a long year so far, i want a lot of things to end. im incredibly drained and exhausted to the point where i struggle to feel empathy for anyone that isnt myself or him. i cannot blame anyone but myself for the way i havent been able to let go.

i miss him and the way he spoke, he was so intellectual and understanding of how i felt, he spent a very long time trying to stop my consistent paranoia and the constant feeling of being ‘scared’. i was scared because i didnt want to lose him. the honeymoon phase is undoubtedly intoxicating and i think it ended for him before it ended for me. i appreciate him so much even if i treat him with upmost disrespect. they are such a beautiful soul and i wish i didnt take it for granted. i wish i saw through the times that they were happy just for my benefit. its cliche to say but i wouldve done so many things different if i was able to go back now, i regret so much but i cannot regret the person he is. he truly was like a dream and i wish i never woke up from that.

[johnnys-so]

May I please request a college or uni senior Hyuk scenario? Thank youuu

A/N: I have three other hyuk scenarios other than this oh god im channeling all of my inner hyuk. i had to watch ridiculous hyuk videos on youtube just to get his character right. But so worth it.

uni senior hyuk would be the kind of guy that everyone knew of but nobody really knows him. do you know what i mean? he’s way more approachable than the 4th year senior hyungs like leo, n and ken but definitely not as self revealing as anyone would like

i imagine hyuk as a physics major, something related to science or architecture most definitely. he’s definitely got the brains for it. He also seems like the kind of student who makes it to the dean’s list or becomes the class representative or the vice president of a club. and even if he isn’t constantly in leader positions, he is very respectful and kind to his professors, which makes them all the more inclined to give him assistant positions and that’s how you first met him.

hyuk had walked into your class as a sophomore and you were immersed in the new book you were reading. he had casually passed on some announcement about assignments from the professor and walked out of class just as quickly, except he ran back into the class and straight to you, to mention that the professor had asked you to meet them. much like hyuk, the profs were kind enough to take you up for research and assistant positions when in need

you didn’t realise what was happening but this very bright senior with his black hair falling into his eyes was asking you if you understood what you had just said. honestly? you didn’t hear a word. the protagonist of the novel in front of you was too interesting to focus on the real world but you were sure whatever hyuk was saying was important. but just as you had gotten up the courage (and mind) to ask him to repeat himself, he was already out of the class. but ofcourse the girls around you had to make a big deal out of it. they mused about everything from his hair to his clothes o his hotness to how cool he was. all you could remember was that he strangely smelled like petrichor. and you loved it

you forget to actually ask him again and let the matter go until a week later when the professor meets you directly and asks you why you haven’t been showing up at the meetings?

wait what???

meetings???

and thats when the prof mentions that you were invited to a fairly exclusive club about research and were invited to the dean’s dinner! (im literally just making it up as we go im so sorry)

you finally make it to the club meeting only to realise that you’ve missed a series of them and hyuk’s the one leading it. just as you enter, he rushes you to just sit down and catch up and goes on and on about whatever they were discussing earlier. to be fair, you were utterly lost.

so you wait until everyone’s left, literally shaking in your chair from the nerves and slowly get up to talk to hyuk. hyuk looks goddamn amazing, you have to agree. he always wore comfortable tshirts or oversized hoodies or sweaters to college and that just made him all the more handsome. he had a very effortless beauty to himself that you couldn’t help but admire. if you weren’t so stressed with uni work and the idea of having missed out so many meetings because you FORGOT TO ASK HIM AGAIN, you would have actually admired the way his long fingers effortlessly arranged the papers on the desk into a neat pile. or the way one corner of his sweater was always lodged into the belt of his pants. or his nervous habit of biting his lips when he was distracted with work

but instead, you walk up behind him and begin slowly, “umm excuse me…” and hyuk literally WHIRLS around. hyuk has the grace of a tycoon tbh and he nearly knocks you out but thankfully, he grips your shoulders to balance you and you’re a bit shocked because you just went from nervous wreck to in startling close space with the cute uni senior dear lORD HELP YOU

“right haha sorry about that. how can i help you???/”

“sO… im extremely sorry but i have missed quite a few of these meetings -”

“yeah i noticed”

“-and its entirely my fault idk what ive been thinking -”

“no no its ok”

“–but im just super sorry and id love to help but everything you say goes over my head and i know i should get it god im sorry but -”

and by now hyuk’s heard you apologize for a complete set of 10 times since you entered the room and he is trying real hard to stifle a laugh but you make it so hard because you’re so cute and your hands are curling into a grasp and he desperately wants to straighten them out like the pile of neat papers on the desk behind him so he kinda does (this boi i mean)

he reaches out for your hands and holds them in his and stares at them almost wistfully as he says “you’ve got to stop this bad habit of starting with an apology” and when he looks up he nearly wants to kiss the living daylights out of you because the sun outside is setting and you’re in one of the oldest rooms of your uni and with the winter cold, you seem like the warmest most delicious thing in the room

so he puts all his effort into putting his hands into his pockets and offers to help you catch up with the meetings personally

what follows is a series of cafe dates where you both catch up on all the plans for the upcoming exhibition (think of it like a summit of sorts) and you realize he relies a lot on you for decisions and occasionally stops to hear what you think about his ideas so far

the dates begin as a very formal thing with both of you dressing very well and maintaining a respectful distance and only ever opting for the occasional coffee. but after the 4th or 5th meet you decide to try different coffees and your clothes become more relaxed with you turning up in your favorite sweater dress and your hair in a messy bun and your smile light and easy.

from there, you hit it off so well. though you’re all caught up he stlil offers to show you this one restaurant he really loves and “you’ve GOT to try the food you will CRY BECAUSE ITS SO GOOD” and you’re always up for a good challenge so you meet up for dinner after all your classes in your hoodies and stuff yourselves with food and drinks and chat late into the night.

by now both of you are very sure you’re attracted to each other because fuck how can you try and ignore him when he looks so good and he was definitely sure he lost all self control when you turned up so messy and bright in that sweater dress.

but its the dean’s dinner that does you in he shows up in the crisp white shirt, dress pants and a vest and you nearly lose it with his hair swept up like that and you’re in a cocktail dress and he can think of a 100 things to do with you and none of them should be spoken about in respectful company

and when the night draws on the old croak is making some stupid comments about his accomplishments in life that both of you could care less about, he whispers lazily “i cant wait to get out of these clothes” and you absent-mindedly reply “you look way better in comfortable clothing anyway” and he cheekily says “i half expected you to offer some help removing the clothes” and he doesn’t expect your answer but then

“i could. do you wanna leave and let me try?”

and thats how you end up in his apartment after sneaking out of the dinner with both your clothes lying on the floor and he’s kissing you like his life depends on it and maybe it kinda does because he literally ditched the dean for you wow

but after a solid make out session (and other things *ahem*) the rain is pouring cats and dogs outside and you get into one of hyuk’s huge shirts and he’s wearing just his track pants and the both of you are just sitting by the window, nursing a hot mug of coffee and listening to old songs and occasionally hyuk leans in to smell your neck and kisses the base of your throat and you realise

you’re uni life just got a whole of a lot better

YOU ARE WELCOME.

[fmservers]

Why longer term sheets are better

Recently in a conversation, the length of term sheets came as a topic (I assure you, it was a riveting conversation). The complaint was that a term sheet which had recently been received was too long, and therefore the VC who sent it wasn’t being founder friendly. The travails of successfully raising money!

Actually though, a longer term sheet is much more founder friendly and good business practice, and founders should be leery of VCs bearing short contracts.

Historically (i.e. about 6 years ago), term sheets used to be staid affairs, printed on plain white paper in standard Times New Roman font right out of Word. It was a wretched and horrifying world until the cool VCs showed up, who added design accoutrements (Bolded section heads! Logos! Colors!) while claiming that they had a “single-page” term sheet for founders, implying that the term sheet’s simplicity and prettiness showed that they weren’t really investors, but more like a Brooklyn barista with an art side hustle (and a lot of cash).

Here’s the thing, term sheets have an incredibly important purpose, which is to set forth in clear language the terms of a deal. Unfortunately in modern venture capital, there are a lot of terms that have to be negotiated in any equity round, from financial terms to option pools, to board structure, to voting rights on major business decisions like selling the company, and much more. Simpler term sheets either relegate many of these items to “standard venture capital terms apply” or some other vague language, or just wholly don’t mention them at all.

The challenge is that once the term sheet is signed, it becomes the blueprint by which the legal counsels for the VC and founder begin to write up the legal contracts that allows the VC to buy equity in the startup. When term sheets are clear, precise, and comprehensive, the lawyers just go to work and turn those agreed-upon terms into legal language in relatively short order.

When there are key terms that are “standard” or absent from a term sheet though, lawyers do what lawyers have to do: they negotiate for their respective party. Suddenly a term that seems fairly standard is up for debate, and unless a founder (and their VC) is paying very close attention to the legal process (from experience, no one really is), then the legal bills for the round can spiral very, very rapidly. That can pose a double whammy for a startup, since many VCs continue to charge the legal fees of conducting a round to the startup they are investing in.

I’ve seen founders in absolute sticker shock after seeing the legal costs of their round total into the upper tens of thousands of dollars because their lawyers racked up time trying to plow through term after term that could have been made clearer by the parties up front.

So, what’s more founder friendly: a longer term sheet that sets the deal terms clearly up front and likely saves the founder legal costs, or a shorter (but color!) term sheet that can end up costing far more down the line?

This is mostly a problem for first-time founders raising their first round of capital. I have a sinking feeling that many VCs take advantage of this naiveté to get better terms than they might have gotten otherwise had they actually walked through all the language up front. In later rounds, founders either ask all the right questions about the next round of capital, or their other existing investors figure this out on their behalf.

It’s good legal practice to always get all material terms figured out before your lawyers start writing contracts, whether in fundraising, or customer contracts, or what have you. You can’t always predict if there is something else that will end up being a disagreement, but getting most of the terms squared away will save legal time, and that is money ultimately in your pocket.

Side note: Extra Crunch published part two of five of our comprehensive guide to legal issues facing startups, this time focused on intellectual property. Don’t miss out on part one which focused on corporate issues.

Extra Crunch’s first conference call is today

We are hosting the first conference call for Extra Crunch subscribers today at 2pm EST / 11am PST. Call-in details are being sent out to members by email roughly one hour in advance. Today, Eric Eldon and I will talk briefly about Extra Crunch, and then TechCrunch social and product maestro Josh Constine is going to talk about the strategic issues confronting the social giants. Join us!

More SoftBank Vision Fund sadness

Kiyoshi Ota/Bloomberg via Getty Images

Written by Arman Tabatabai

Get out your popcorn because there’s more drama involving SoftBank’s giant Vision Fund and its LP base. Bahrain’s sovereign wealth fund stated that it no longer planned to invest in the Vision Fund. Despite previous discussions with SoftBank, the fund plans to instead put its money into infrastructure across areas like energy, healthcare, and education.

With assets of roughly $15 billion under management, Bahrain’s fund is small potatoes when it comes to SoftBank, and its contribution likely would have been much smaller than those of its Abu Dhabi and Saudi Arabia counterparts. However, after recent reports that Persian Gulf LPs are growing frustrated with the Vision Fund and are putting more money to work in infrastructure, Bahrain’s decision could indicate a broader change in sentiment towards the Vision Fund. Just look at the comment the CEO of Bahrain’s Fund gave to Reuters:

“We talked with them and with many people, but it shows we’ve not seen something we think we can add value to or it could add value to us.”

SoftBank CEO Masayoshi Son has wanted to scale up the size of Vision Fund II, but that dream may well be fading as more large wealth managers decline to engage.

Steam and video game streaming

Photo by Andy Cross/The Denver Post via Getty Images

Extra Crunch writer Chris Morris had a dive into the challenges facing Steam yesterday. Steam is facing two trends. First, publishers are increasingly getting smart about owning their customer relationship, which is hard to do with the design of Steam’s platform. The second is that video game streaming is getting closer to reality, and that doesn’t bode well for a game store. Plus, developers want to keep more of their revenue, and Steam takes a lot.

What’s interesting here is that publishers (and I mean big, AAA publishers) are increasingly comfortable with the notion that they can attract customers to their own independent store fronts and don’t have to pay the Steam tax in order to get in front of customers. What concerns me is that indie developers both don’t have the leverage to negotiate with Steam and don’t have the marketing budgets or fanbases to reach out to a wide audience. That’s not a great world, and an opportunity I think to figure out how to create a more even playing field for independent game creators.

The chip space keeps getting hotter as Korea’s SK leads round for Chinese chipmaker

IvancoVlad via Getty Images

Written by Arman Tabatabai

TechCrunch writer Rita Liao reported overnight that the A.I.-focused Chinese chipmaker Horizon Robotics raised a $600 million round led by subsidiaries of Korea’s SK Group, including its semiconductors segment.

We’ve previously discussed the intensifying global competition in the chip space, and SK’s investment shows that no one wants to miss out on the next innovative technology like previous incumbents who now find themselves playing catch up.

It’s worth noting that Intel’s venture arm, Intel Capital, is also an investor in Horizon and led their previous fundraise, as Horizon seems to offer up another opportunity for the US chip giant to make up lost ground in AI chip innovation and to gain share in the Chinese market now that they have canceled a partnership with China’s state-backed chipmaker Unisoc.

The data point is another positive for Chinese chipmakers, who seem to still have access to foreign capital on top of more than enough domestic — often state-backed — investments. The city of Beijing just raised its first venture fund with $1.5 billion focused on chips, A.I., and other areas, while China is reportedly nearing the closing of its second state-backed semis fund that some estimate might be nearly $50 billion in size.

More news

Written by Arman Tabatabai

California may have canceled HSR, but China is moving forward with an IPO

While US high-speed rail (HSR) projects continue to fall flat on their face, China Railway Corporation is now planning to IPO its Beijing to Shanghai HSR line within the next year. There’s always some financial risk with publicly-traded infrastructure, but the line’s securely profitable and the deal should help shore up the finances of its owner as it plans to make its largest rail investments ever this year.

Japan’s antitrust investigation is the latest in Asia’s new wave of regulatory scrutiny

Japan is reportedly initiating an antitrust investigation into the country’s biggest ecommerce platforms. Investigators will be looking to see whether Amazon Japan, Rakuten and SoftBank-subsidiary Yahoo! Japan launched benefit programs that ultimately are subsidized by and cut into the revenue of its small-to-midsize vendor suppliers.

The investigation is the latest in Japan’s broader effort to increase regulatory scrutiny on big tech, a global trend that seems to be permeating Asia as seen in our previous discussions on India. While it’s unclear how the heightened scrutiny will impact companies’ perception of these markets, it’s certainly clear that the “move fast and break things” playbook is getting tougher to run.

Obsessions

We have a bit of a theme around emerging markets, macroeconomics, and the next set of users to join the internet.

More discussion of megaprojects, infrastructure, and “why can’t we build things”

Thanks

To every member of Extra Crunch: thank you. You allow us to get off the ad-laden media churn conveyor belt and spend quality time on amazing ideas, people, and companies. If I can ever be of assistance, hit reply, or send an email to danny@techcrunch.com.

This newsletter is written with the assistance of Arman Tabatabai from New York

Via Danny Crichton https://techcrunch.com

[thatjwguy]

Mental Illness Talk (Personal Experiences) 

So, this will be my first blog in quite some time. Feels good to be back, Just feel like i need to discuss some issues. Things haven’t been so peachy in my world. Many thoughts and things swirling around in my head. Lot of them not my own, what i mean is they don't represent my true self, they feel detached from me. I often have anxiety about the thoughts thinking they are mine, but I know its not. You give them power when you analyze them or try to correct them as I often find myself doing. Which never helps cause you just think about the thought even more. Very vicious cycle to find yourself in, just going around in circles in your mind trying to make sense of it all and trying to make it all better. 

Im sure many people do this very same thing, i know im not alone. I just hope people are getting the proper help for things like this because it can get pretty out of control at times. I literally feel like a vice is squeezing my head at times.    Like my brain is pushing up against my skull, very discomforting feeling. The counselor i was going to 6 or 7 months ago said i could have schizoaffective disorder or something of that nature. No official diagnosis of this but i think its also a spiritual matter as well. Spiritual in the sense that it could possibly be a negative entity or multiple attached to me. Biblical accounts do reinforce this thought. The bible clearly states that many people became ill or hade been possessed by spirits. Not that im freaked out, just concerned about how to deal with the issue. 

2 Corinthians 11:13-15

13

For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ.

14

And no wonder, for Satan himself keeps disguising himself as an angel of light.

15

It is therefore nothing extraordinary if his ministers also keep disguising themselves as ministers of righteousness. But their end will be according to their works.

Since trying to walk the Godly path, iv experienced many things that are strange. Such as Visions, Lucid Dreams, Voices, Feeling Detached, Cloudy Mind, Paranoid, And Speaking in tongues. Just to name off a few things, not im not saying its all spiritual, i think its a bit of both. Originally started hearing voices around 2015ish. Started to work outside with my grandad, side note i also made video dedicated to him which i will put up here at some point. Just really odd things that i could not explain, i knew it had to be spiritual to some degree. Other things to note, that others out there in the world have also had a lot of these same things happen to them, often they think its purely psychological or all spiritual. New Age, Buddism, Hinduism, Wicca and Some Christian faiths believe things like this, that they may be contacting outer worldy forces. Angels, spirit guides, dead loved ones and all sorts of stuff. 

Deuteronomy 18:10-12

10

There should not be found in you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire,

anyone who employs divination,

anyone practicing magic,

anyone who looks for omens,

a sorcerer,

11

anyone binding others with a spell, anyone who consults a spirit medium

or a fortune-teller,

or anyone who inquires of the dead.

12

For whoever does these things is detestable to Jehovah, and on account of these detestable practices Jehovah your God is driving them away from before you.

With the new age teachings, i had thought at one point, that you could connect with others on a spiritual level. Perhaps to some degree that may be true, like talking on a telephone without having a telephone, as far as i know, Angeles use telepathy to communicate with one another. No official word in the bible speaks about this though, only accounts of them appearing in spirit or flesh to communicate Gods will for the earth, also the accounts in Noah's day when Satan and his demons came down to become man, then proceeded to bed the women which created the Nephelum. Guess its open for speculation, just don't like to do that too often when it concerns the bible. Should have the cold hard fact with scriptures to back it up. 

Other than that, nothing more could really be said about this matter. My mental problems seem to be staying about the same, even affecting my work life now. Recently lost my job at a tree service because i missed some days and they had noticed i was absent-minded while working, making stupid mistakes and such. When you have multiple voices and disorganized thoughts like this, it really can be a challenge to make it through the day. Keeping yourself together long enough to get by and then the next day repeating the process. Now im on the long path to recovery, trying to seek out help, change meds to see what happens in the long term. Also making more time for my creator Jehovah God, since in the bible it also mentions he is the God of all comfort, throw all your anxieties on him and he will sustain you.

Psalm 34:18

18

Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted;

He saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Suppose many tend to put their faith in ideas like New Age and other things for the comfort. Might seem interesting or enticing to some, worshiping creation, other gods and such thinking if they perform these rituals that they will gain more. Not that its all for selfish reasons, just the allure of it all might take hold in the imaginations of people, thinking they can become something more. Evolving into ascended masters, possibly bring more positive change in the world. Most individuals are well-meaning but i think they fail to understand just how cunning the devil really is.  If he could trick a perfect woman like Eve into believing she could become like a god, knowing good and evil. What makes them think they can't fall into the same trap, sure it might be packaged a little differently but its essentially the same concept. 

Ephesians 6:11, 12

11

Put on the complete suit of armor

from God so that you may be able to stand firm against the crafty acts

of the Devil;

12

because we have a struggle

not against blood and flesh, but against the governments, against the authorities, against the world rulers of this darkness, against the wicked spirit forces

in the heavenly places.

Before i go off on a tangent, which i believe i already have at this point, ill just make this my last thought. We are very loving and caring creatures, wanting whats best for the world, trying to make sense of ourselves and desperately clinging to the idea we can change the world simply by loving one another despite our differences of believe. That all paths might lead to the same creator so that we can sleep with the peace of mind that most will make it to the promise land someday. Wishful thinking can only get you so far though, at some point you have to bite the bullet and realize something is faulty with that line of thinking. No matter how much you want to believe it. It make take some time to come to grips with the idea, like myself. I want everyone to see Jehovah’s promised paradise, it just won't happen that way though. Reality will break your heart sometimes, thats how it is, we cant change that. 

Matthew 7:13, 14

13

“Go in through the narrow gate,

because broad is the gate and spacious is the road leading off into destruction, and many are going in through it;

14

whereas narrow is the gate and cramped the road leading off into life, and few are finding it.

So in closing, i want to try to help you understand that i don't look down on anyone who holds these beliefs, in fact, i respect the fact that they have put so much work and time into trying to find the truth, just the dedication/passion that is behind it all. People genuinely want the world to be a better place, just as Jehovah does. Perhaps misguided sure, at least they believe in something though, something more than themselves. That's one step closer to finding out the truth. Keep seeking and it will be revealed to you. Many paths that lead to destruction with many finding it, only one road to life, few finding it. So don't feel bad for these things, feel good that you are trying to make a difference, you want things to change, thats a lovely thing to think about. Never give up searching for whats real, if you want the truth, he will find you one way or another. Its up to you to follow that path. 

Thanks for sticking around till the end, much love as always. Stick around for more fun-filled adventures. :) PS. Song choice is because i feel it accurately represents us a people, not wanting to live in this world anymore, for all the horrific things that happen. Yes, many beautiful things are still here. The song itself reflects how many of us just want to go elsewhere, leave these problems behind. Restart new, hit the reset button so to speak. The darker side of this song might be putting an end to ones life to escape it all. For the most part though, i think its just about not wanting to go through all the pain in this world. 

[generouslyteenagealpaca-blog]

18-yr-old driver, new liscence, needs insurance?

"18-yr-old driver, new liscence, needs insurance?

In the suburbs of Dallas, Texas. I know that a major company won't take a new driver on as first-time insurance, or the rates would be really high, so what's the best suggestions? Thanks!

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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My husband and I are looking for ways to cut back spending. We wanted to look for better car insurance rates so we looked online and got a quote that was considerably less (about 700.00 less a year) with the same deductibles and options we already have. My question is ... has anyone done this and had good luck with it? And does this to good to be true rate increase after they real you in? And what is a good company to go with?

What is my insurance going to cost?

I'm going to get my license when i turn 18 (yes the day I turn 18) and I was just now thinking abt insurance. I've never really thought about it before. So can those who have been through the getting insurance thing help me? Here's some things to add up: 1. First time driver (litterly just got license and vehicle) 2. Did not do a drivers ed at a high school (heard it costs more if u don't take it) 3. Going to drive a big 4x4 diesel truck 4. I'm a male And that's abt it I guess. Idk what insurance company I'll be using. Probably my moms insurance company. But I don't know what it is. Also. The insurance will not be under her name (if she can even do that) because I'll be an 18 year old adult. How much is insurance going to cost every month? Thanks

What should I expect in car insurance?

Right now, I am seriously considering sharing a car with my boyfriend, so the insurance is lower than it would be for two cars. He is perfectly okay with the idea, but I would still like a truck to haul my horse (his Taurus SE can't do that long distance) for when I move, so it would be more convenient for me to have my own vehicle. I am a 17 year old female. My grades are a B average. I don't have a credit score, i pay with cash or my debit card. I want a truck (preferably an old cheap one that runs). I've heard insurance can be higher if you have a red vehicle, so I am going to avoid that. What else do you need to know to estimate my insurance? Thanks.""

Insurance for modified car advice !!?

i want to buy a car that has full interior and exterior body work done to it, will this effecct the insurance ?? also the engine has had a 'ecu chip' and air filter added/changed so will this effect insurance in any way ?? and can i get replys from someone who knows what there on about no some random answer thanks""

Can auto insurance keep policy after being told to drop?

Switched insurance companies. the original insurance company WOULD NOT CANCEL the policy. Is this illegal?

Car insurance quotes?

i have just passed my driving test & was looking at insurance quotes on different comparison websites . i am a 36 year old man with 4 kids & wife & need to get a car to further my career . i got a quote for a 1997 R reg 800cc Daewoo matiz and will be fitting an alarm as well as keeping it locked in my garage overnight but the cheapest quote a can find is 1282 a year fully comp & paying up front .I also got a quote for a 1998 S reg 1.4 Peaugeot 306 Meridian & the quote I received for this car was 942 for the year again payment upfront . the problem I have is that with the latter quote for the Peaugeot is that there wasn't any alarm on the quote & it was to be parked in the carpark next to my house . So why oh why is a car that is less desirable & has a smaller engine costing 340 more even though it has an alarm & locked away over night .

""Does anyone know how much a boat would cost me for a year, that's including gas, insurance, etc.?""

Does anyone know how much a boat would cost me for a year, that's including gas, insurance, etc.?""

What is the diffrence between the full tort and limited tort auto insurance?

i have just moved to nj from england and im trying to get insurance on my range rover i have just bought here but your insurance is totally diffrent to ours what is full tort and limited tort (etc) on progressive i can get my range rover insured for $200 a month but then it says recommended $450 and plus package $570 we dont have these diffrent packages i have no idea what bodily injury is and it goes on about all these thousends of dollars on property damage and lawsuits and uninsured its all so confusing can someone please help and break it all down im only 20 but im 21 tomorrow i moved here in april this year so i dunno if it will be cheaper when im 21 tomorrow i know it drops in england when your 21 but im not sure about here any advice would be appreciated thanks p.s love the country :)

Car insurance for a 21 yr old living in ny?!?

Approx how much does car insurance, per month, cost for a 21 yr old college student from abroad in ny? My sister who lives in the country pays about 130 dollars per month in MA.""

If I move out would the health insurance be in my hands now?

That and car insurance? What will be put on me that my parents used to handle if I move out of the house?

""16 year old guys, how much do you pay in auto insurance every month?""

im tired of filling out online quote forms, just so it can tell me to call a customer service rep. i dont even have a car yet, but im planning on getting one, and im just wondering what the average for 16 year old guys is for auto insurance how much do you pay for insurance per month, how old are you, what do you drive? is it like $150, $200, $250, $300""

Can insurance and credit card?

i want to pay monthly to the car insurance company> interest for monthly payments is 8.5% people said go and get a credit card and pay that back 0% but am i best just to pay the car insurance company? i dont know if i would get a credit card as ive not applied for one before and dont know about my credit rating it would only be 4-5 extra monthly to pay the insurance co with interest? is it worth the hassle? as i want to book insurance now. help?

Where can I get affordable life insurance with good benefits?

I have 4 boys 19,18,15 and 13. So I will like to insure my kids. I live at SF, California. Any advice?""

I rang up Tesco Car Insurance today and they sent me away?

Hello, I rang up Tesco Car Insurance today, this women spoke on the phone and her first question was asking for the policy number, and then I asked her a question why they increase my insurance and she said everywhere is the same, they are the cheapest, and then she told me to ring somewhere else to get a quote and then phone us back. Thats a good customer service. What do you guys think about this situation?""

Do I really need Car Insurance?

I live in Kentucky. My car is not drivable at the moment and has not been for months. Since I can't even drive the piece of ****, do I even need Insurance? I'm paying to much for it anyway and I don't think I should be paying for something I'm not driving!""

What car insurance company has the cheapest coverage for drivers aged 18-25?

Chicago-land area companies would be best. Any insurance 100$ or less????

What are the ins and outs of buying/owning a classic car?

I have been considering purchasing an older car for about a year. I've done a little research during that time and narrowed down what I want. Last week, I found a car that I really like, a '62 Lincoln. However, I have some concerns about having a car like this and wanting to get some feedback from someone with the knowledge/experience/wisdom in this area. Firstly, I am not rich and getting this car would mean borrowing money. My intent was to sell my current car once I have this car to cover most of the cost of the classic. Would that be a mistake? My current car is paid off, so money-wise it would be a question of insurance costs and taxes/tags every year (if I were to keep my current car). Second, the car I'm looking at is pretty authentic, meaning it has almost all its original parts and accessories. Would it be a mistake to modify it? I mean, repainting it (down the road), having the upholstery redone, installing a current radio and speakers, putting on modern-style tires, etc. Will this change its value negatively? I do like the car as it is, but I'd really like to put modern-style tires on it and put in a modern stereo, at least. Repainting and such would be probably 5+ years down the road, if I decided to do this. Probably, I'd want to reupholster the seats before painting it. And, since I am not rich nor a moneyed individual, I don't have a storage place to park it at my place. I mean, I have a garage, but my house is old, the garage is narrow, and I use it as my workshop. If I were to park the car in it, that would be I'd have to pack up my workshop and remove the shelves to make it fit. Do I need to keep it in a garage? Would that be smart? Does it matter since it's intended to be my primary vehicle? I can't think of anything else to ask at the moment, so if you have any other advice or insights, I'd certainly appreciate them!""

18-yr-old driver, new liscence, needs insurance?

In the suburbs of Dallas, Texas. I know that a major company won't take a new driver on as first-time insurance, or the rates would be really high, so what's the best suggestions? Thanks!

Does taking driving classes cheapen the cost of driving insurance for new drivers?

I'm planning to get my driver license when I turn 18 which is in two months and I live in Massachusetts. The state law says that you don't have to take driving classes in order to get your driver license if you are over the age of 18 but I am taking in order for my driving insurance to be less. If so, do you save around 10-15% on driving insurance rate? And how long does this discount on this insurance last for drivers.""

Insurance under 4000 for 17 year old?

Ok, well I'm 17 (male) and have passed my driving test. I have compared many quotes for all the worst and lowest engine cars, like corsa 1.0, peugeot 106 1.1 etc I just can't seem to get a quote under 4000! Does anyone know if there is anything I can do to get affordable insurance? I heard that insurance for 17 year olds has doubled in the past year but didn't reckon it would be this much! Any help you can give would be greatly appreciated :)""

Best car insurance for my children while they're at university?

My two children (aged 20 and 18) have gone to university this year. They've left their car (VW Polo) at home. What is the best way to insure this car now? It's only getting used when they pop home, and a bit more over Christmas and Easter, probably summer too. However I can't find any insurance that will take this into account. I've got my own car, so theirs is just sitting there for 8 or 9 months out of the year. Does anybody know of any insurance providers that will insure a car while taking this into account?""

I got a speeding ticket in my car. Would that affect motorcycle insurance?

Im looking to get a motorcycle. Would a speeding ticket in a car affect motorcycle insurance.

How much would insurance cost?

I'm 19 and just passed got my driving license. I live in Yorkshire (I think that me living in Yorkshire reduces the cost of insurance a bit). How much would annual insurance cost for something like a Mazda Rx-8 (2000-2006). Also if possible how much would it cost for a Volkswagen Golf GTi or a BMW E series. I know I havent given much information about which cars but let's just say a car priced between 2000-4000. Also if I do the Pass Plus course how much would that reduce it by? I just need an estimate by the way to get an idea of the prices. By the way I am a first time drive and male. Thankyou

Home Insurance Coverage In California?

We are new at purchasing the home insurance. (we plan to buy a house) We call the Progressive Insurance and request a quote for the house insurance And we also do some online quotes. All it cover basically the house part. We heard that they will cover the disability, life if spouse died the insurance gonna paid off the mortgage, unemployment they gonna paid for 1 year etc. Any idea or tips which insurance provide that? Thank You""

Who is the cheapest car insurance company for two cars?

One is a 1993 Ford Probe and the other is a 1994 Toyota Camry.

How much would it cost to insure a ford puma?

how much would the insurance be on a ford puma for a 17 year old, driver whose just passed her test??""

What would be the cheapest insurance for a 1992 camaro?

What would be the cheapest insurance for a 1992 camaro?

Have a few questions about car insurance?

I am planning on buying a car soon but I have a few questions: 1) When I go test drive the car, do I still need to have car insurance while I'm driving (e.g. Temporary car insurance)? He will be with me in the car. 2) Can I leave the car on my drive way(private land) without any car insurance? I will be getting car insurance most likely a few days after buying the car. Do I still need to SORN it? 3) The Tax expires next year, but do I still need to buy another 12 Month because of a different owner? 4) What other infomation should I bring or record while filling out the V5C? should I then post this V5C form to DVLA or the seller? Sorry for the questions, first time buying a car.""

Do you think it is discrimination that car insurance for teens and people in their early twenties is so high.?

parents don't allow teens to drive because they cannot afford the high monthly rates of insuring them This seems like deliberate discrimination to teens. What do you think?

How to get dirt cheap Car & Medical Insurance ??

Looking for a CAR with in $ 500, Car Insurance & Medical Insurance for 1 Male of 31 years, 1 Female of 26 years & a Child of 2 years. Should cover Medical. Vision & Dental not reqired. Looking for real dirt cheap insurance for Car, Family""

Insurance!?

We are in the process buying a home and we ARE going to get homeowners insurance but I was just wondering if they make you get it? Also I was wondering if anybody knows if I live on a flood plain if i HAVE to get flood insurance too? THANK YOU!

How much would insurance cost me on a v6 camaro?

it is a 1988 camaro and i would just have the cheapest coverage and i am 16 any ideas on how much it would cost me?

Temporary car insurance only 18?

Just wondering if anyone knows where i could get 1 months car insurance but i'm only 18? Cheers

Motorbike cheaper than car insurance?

Is motorbike insurance for learer motorcycle 125cc, significantly cheaper than car insurance for a small city car, for a young man?""

""Does car insurance go down when you move to a different state, if so how do i lower mine? (see details)?""

I used to live in LA and my car insurance was 46.00. Well, I went to progressive and did a quote with my new address which is in TX and my car insurance quote is for 26.00. How do i go about getting these new rates since I no longer live in Louisiana.""

What is my insurance going to pay if ?

If I have my house insured for 100,000 and it is worth 85,000,what will my insurance company pay for my total loss if such a thing happened?Am I paying too much trying to be too careful by overinsuring my house?Thanks for any info.""

How much should i plan on spending on my car insurance for a 3rd offense DWI? Please refrain from ridicule...?

I know i will have to get an Interlock device which ranges from $50-$100 a month. i am wondering how much I will be paying monthly for car insurance. Liability only. And if anyone happens to know, what company do you think will offer the best pricing? Thank you for your understanding...""

Will Insurance goes up when I change my car motor?

i am trying to buy a car. but some cars are cheap when they changed out their motors. how much will the insurance go up if the motor is changed. and how much will the insurance go up if the car is modified?

Purchasing car insurance?

I want to find an online quote to see how much I may be paying for future auto insurance. But some sites ask for vehicle information. I haven't bought the car yet. But don't you need proof of insurance in order to purchase a car? I'm confused. How do I go about this?

What is car insurance?

Just car insurance definition not more other else. It's for my own mind calculation.

What is a good affordable health insurance?

That is no more than $120 monthly. Thanks in advanced

Can you get life insurance on a non-relative?

I am legally still considered a minor child, although I am 16. My parents are divorced and I live with my Mom in Georgia. My natural father is dying of cancer, and lives in Illinois. Is it possible to get a life insurance policy with me as the benefactor even if me and my father live in 2 different states? Technically my Mom & Dad are divorced and she would not be able to get a life insurance on him on her own, as she is a non-relative. But I am his only son, so couldn't I get one on him? Even though by law children cannot legally engage in any sort of contract.""

Does car insurance really go down when you get married?

I have heard that insurance goes down once you get married. Is this true? If it is, how much? Is it significan't? Do you have to be married before you turn 25 for this to apply? I have heard so many conflicting answers. Help??..""

18-yr-old driver, new liscence, needs insurance?

In the suburbs of Dallas, Texas. I know that a major company won't take a new driver on as first-time insurance, or the rates would be really high, so what's the best suggestions? Thanks!

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-daughter-gave-permission-unlicensed-driver-drive-car-eric-lewis"

[paultys]

Bev and the boys are finally back in the country. I have missed them desperately but at least they are not 6 days away from me. They are however, still not living with me. We made the decision hat until Bev finds work then she and the boys would live in Bristol, with her parents, two hours from my lonely flat. This is sensible for many reasons, without Bev having a job we don’t know exactly where we will live when she does have one. We cant afford to rent a family home on my salary alone, and we don’t want to be tied into a 6 month contract when we don’t yet know where we want to live. After the upheaval of leaving St Helena, we don’t want to disrupt the boys by placing them in a school only to have to move them again six months later. All in all, Bev temporarily living in Bristol is the sensible, if not difficult thing.

Of course I see them on my days off, but this has meant lots of driving and lots of tearful goodbyes, as saying goodbye for another week become increasingly difficult each time I have to do it. Oliver too is finding the situation difficult and unsettling, he has always been an emotional sop just like his Dad!

My first few weeks as you know were very difficult, but as Bev pointed out, how can you let go of somewhere when your life is still there. As soon as my family were on the ship it felt easier. But there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to let go, I should, or Ill never resettle. But letting go is admitting I don’t live there any more, that Im not just on leave and wont be going back any time soon. I still follow the news and gossip coming out of the Island with great eagerness. The strangest thing is the sadness I feel when I hear of others who have left or are leaving St Helena now. Somehow it still hurts that friends have left, even though in most cases it means I get to see them sooner rather than later.

Im reminded of the transient nature of St Helena. Already I see facebook comments from people I don’t know, who have become friends with my friends. I feel rather indignant about it. I wonder how it felt for the friends I made who left St Helena a year or more ago, who watched my life on the Island move on without them, new friends and experiences which people whom I shared the first twelve moths with absent from those times. As Ive reflected on many occasions before, how long will it be until we are a distant memory. At the moment there enough people still on the Island whom we are good friends with, but before too long they will of left. The Saints of course remain, and I hope many of them will remember us and think fondly of us, but the every day presence will fade.

But my life here is becoming more normal. I’m settling back into the place and things are less daunting. My shopping trips are becoming more productive and I’ve managed to buy cereal and stuff to wash with, as well as beer. I still find the choice overwhelming and unnecessary though. St Helena teaches you that you don’t need most of the things we often feel we couldn’t do without (although the Royster’s T-bone steak crisps I’ve just eaten were pretty damn good!) . In terms of letting go there are some things that I really don’t want to let go of and the appreciation for what you have is one of those things. Too often I dwell on negatives and this period alone has made me realise and be grateful for the many wonderful things I do have. My friends, my career, my family and above all my wife and children whom I have grown to love and appreciate more in the past four weeks than I have ever done before.

I’m settling too into life in work. Although some clarity is still needed, Im finding my place in the organisation and beginning to have an influence and be able to make some positive impact and changes. I’ve found a confidence in myself, in my knowledge, skills and experience. I made the move to Plymouth National Marine Aquarium to learn new skills, and have started to do so already, but Ive also had my previous knowledge solidified in a way that is very pleasing, turns out I do know some things.

The view from outside the aquarium.

Ive started my first dives as a professional diver, carrying out maintainence and feeding on a large temperate marine exhibit, diving with large conger eels, rays and other species, feeding them by hand to the enjoyment of an audience. Perhaps the most challenging aspect of this is the audience. A hundred or so people watching youe through the glass whilst you are effectivly in training, in something that is very new is daunting to say the least. The public expect to see professional divers, and as yes I don’t feel quite as polished and steady as my colleagues. But its all part of the learning curve and one the reasons why, for my career to progress I had to find new challenges and gain new skills within the aquarium world. The salary is poor (and industry wide problem) and the work and hours can be challenging, but I have been reminded that I absolutely love it, and to work somewhere that others pay to come and visit is something of a privilege. Many of those who pass through our doors would the love the opportunities I have and I must remember that and be grateful for it.

Plymouth is proving to be a fantastic and beautiful city. I spent last Friday on the waterfront drinking a few beers, before catching the ferry across the bay to continue with a few more pints in the setting sun. The weather last week was tropical and has helped my transition. I’ve also got connected and have a mobile phone again for the first time in nearly three years. Whilst I enjoyed being out of contact on St Helena, they do have their advantages, and a camera with me at all times is one of them.

Sutton Harbour, Plymouth

My new aquarium, The National Marine Aquarium. The biggest in the Uk, size does matter!

Heading over to Mount Batton

So the UK has cool sunsets too.

Strangely I have not wanted to pick up my camera much since getting back. Photography felt like something I did on St Helena, not in the UK, who would be interested in photos here? I lost all passion for it. But a trip to West Wales rekindled some of that. Camping with wonderful friends from my university days in a beautiful part of the country was a timely reminder that St Helena is not the only beautiful place in the world, and that we have many wonderful friends who are dotted all over the World. That being said it was quite a trip. My days off work have been spent travelling to see Bev and the kids.

Oliver and Charlie enjoying the company of Maisie, their newest cousin. Being the older, mature sensible ones!

Rufus Lemur at Wild Place in Bristol

Ringed Tail Lemur at Wild Place in Bristol

This latest trip involved 7 hours of driving each way to spend a few hours with them, without which I wouldn’t of seen them for a fortnight, needs must. Saying goodbye though continues to be hard, and is actually getting harder each time. A solid cuddle from Charlie was enough to make me shed a few more tears as I once again wished my family goodbye for another week.

You’ll recall my friends the Gonsalves’s who, after their horrific ordeal on Ascension Island were back in the UK recovering. The good news is they are recovering well, and in two weeks we are getting together for a weekend of camping and no doubt a lot of beer. I cant bloody wait, but I wonder how I will feel when I say goodbye to them, as they will shortly be heading back out to St Helena. I suspect a large part of me will be hugely jealous. Its hard to let go when you have friends still on the Island, even more so when good friends are about to head back out there. A time will come no doubt when St Helena is resided into that place where wonderful memories are kept, the part of your brain that just keeps holds of things in laughs, and recollections over a drunken reunion. But for now it is still too close, it is still too fresh, and if I’m honest I really don’t want to let go, not just yet, its too important and too soon for me.

          Letting Go Bev and the boys are finally back in the country. I have missed them desperately but at least they are not 6 days away from me.

[ogoody]

My Thoughts

I took the time to write out my thoughts lately. These thoughts will be pretty raw so the grammar and structure might be all over the place. I wrote them on my phone. I’m posting these on my tumblr to live forever

What brings me to writing my thoughts out is I feel I may not be able to fully express my feelings when I actually talk. The ideas are concise in my head but in the moments of conversation on this critical topic of my life, I'm fumbling with my speech because theres so much in my head and so little room for conversation to fully convey my thoughts without getting sidetracked or lost in my own scramble. I'm not good with dates or specifics so details in this may be off by a little but the sentiments are all 100% pure to my heart. I have came to the critical realization of my life over the past approximate 5 years. It has been building with the experiences in those years. I started dating Erica march of 2010. We dated for approximately 9 months. It was my first relationship and I dealt with so many insecurities and made so many mistakes at the time. I should have never let her go, but I did not mature to understanding my behavior and wanting to fix it until it was too late. My whole life, when confronted with immense conflict, I would take on the typical fight or flight response but in the most basic ways. My fight responses where mostly when I could physically fight an issue. I took my flight responses for everything else. I had low tolerance for anything contrary to my beliefs and comfort. I was also very unforgiving of others. These are some of the aspects of my personality that had a major contribution to the biggest mistake of my life back then in leaving her. I realized this about myself fast-forwarding to after my 2nd relationship. I had a short relationship with a girl I used to go to school with. When I'm able to reflect on my relationships post Erica, they were all me trying to get over her, but I never did. My 2nd relationship was one of the more clear indicators of my poor behavior of dealing with issues back then. With my 2nd relationship, it wasn't much longer after breaking up with Erica, that I hopped into that realationship. Around the whole break up with Erica, I was very angry and I wasn't receptive to her until around beginning to date my second girlfriend because I wanted to try and make her feel the pain I felt. I remember feeling down about it the whole time but putting on a front to everyone else like I didn't care and as if I was moving on fine. I jumped into that relationship so fast, I don't even think I ever took my second girlfriend on a date before declaring we were in a relationship. I may have not even taken the girl on a date during the short relationship. I remember Erica talking to me during that time because she never gave up on me despite the verbal abuse I dished out. I cursed her out and made up the worse things I could that I knew would cut deep and hurt her. I remember detailing "love" for some other girl that I really was just infatuated with. I even detailed things with my 2nd girlfriend in hopes to make her jealous. I'm embarrassed by those actions heavily. Going off the embarrassment sentiment, another tangent detail that built my critical realization was the moment, in my opinion, that was the beginning of the end between us. I blamed Erica for everything and felt hatred towards her for everything that transpired for me to break up with her. I had absolved myself at the time despite my actions that most embarrassing night. It was the first time I blacked out from drinking and my actions were terrible. At the time I felt like I should have been forgiven because I blacked out and all the blame should be placed on another individual but when I was able to reflect and put myself in Erica's shoes, my opinion changed. She stayed with me despite the horrific event. I couldn't imagine seeing her behave the way I did and show the same level of understanding and patience as she did with me. I for one had often shown my jealous ways throughout the relationship. Here I was being the one to shake up things despite promising to never be like any of the shitty guys of her past. Had I not blackout that night, maybe I would still be with her. So up til now in this timeline of things, Erica showed me how real her feelings for me where and how much more mature she was. I was clouded by anger and it took me awhile to see. She never gave up on me despite my verbal abuse and even before that and before the breakup, she showed patience with me. I carried on about things between us like it never happened and she was still dealing with the pain I imagine. To me, I didnt do my part at the time and I was the cause for things to get shaky between us. I forgive Erica for any wrong she did during the time and it is not anything I would hold over anymore if we were to get back together. I hope she can fully forgive me as well. Over the years Erica showed me the true nature of her love for me. Through it all she remained by my side whichever way she could. I made attempts to get her back ever since the ending of my 2nd relationship but she was being loyal to her new man. I continued to lust after women in my failures to bring Erica back by my side as my girlfriend. We maintained a good friendship over the years. I used to think we could never be friends if we broke up. I was thinking purely out of jealousy that I wouldnt be able to see her with another man and still think of her favorably. I still cant stand to see her with someone else but I was proven wrong bc I have the same love for her now and much more respect and admiration for her. A small side story I missed that also showed Erica's love for me, was her dropping off a birthday card to me on my car one morning. It caught me by complete surprise. It was definitely another eye opener moment that she still cared for me despite my wrongs. The strongest moment in our history which awakened more urgency in me to get her back by my side was the loss of my brother. The day it happened I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was awakened early in the morning to frantic knocks on my bedroom door. I was always a heavy sleeper and it wasn't the first time I slept through clear commotion of police at the front door. My sister was crying saying to come downstairs she thinks something happened to Krys. As I went downstairs I see my dad distraught trying his best to keep it together while clearly not present as the officers are talking to him repeating themselves. He had a blank look over himself. I asked my sister what happened and she said he died. I collapsed to that stairs in shock and sat there for a good few minutes completely lost. I came back to when my sister and mother went upstairs to my parents room. I followed up shortly after them and when I came to them they were crying in each others arms. They turned to me and collapsed in my arms. I held them for a good few minutes still in complete shock but able to notice they felt so light in my arms. My mom lifted up to go make phonecalls and my sister followed after. I dragged myself to my room and collapsed on the bed letting the tears soak my bed. There was a cold silence in the house when my tears stopped for a brief moment. Everyone of us was laying in our beds stuck in complete silence. I rolled over and reached for my phone and without a hesitation of thought I messaged Erica. The first person I could think of to reach out to in that moment was her. She came by to visit me in the coming days and she showed love and support during that incredibly difficult time. When I came to think of that moment after things calmed down, thats when I realized even more how I needed Erica back. Here she is still by my side, doing more than necessary. She even broke down about the tragedy. I had meaningless dating experiences post this period of time and ive shared my loss with all of them. None of them showed anywhere near the level of genuine care about it. They only ever said sorry about my loss. They didn't ask a lot about it nor see how I was holding up after it. Even my other ex-girlfriend before the incident and other female infatuations didnt show anywhere near the same care about it when they came to hear about it. This woman who dated me for 9 months and dealt with me in my worst behaviors was still here for me in more ways than I could have asked for over the years. She kept showing me the love I know I'll never find anywhere outside of my family. She was also the person I felt most comfortable with because I shared the most true feelings and parts of myself to her over the years. She always got me. The urgency to try and get her back in my life kicked in for me but it was still unattainable for me over the years. Every time I tried to get her back, things would go cold after awhile. It was hard to get her to come hangout with me and conversation would fizzle out. I felt like I was being a burden and adding stress each time so I would fall-back from the pursuit. I was hopeful because there was trouble between her and her boyfriend over the years, so I thought maybe one day she would be single and date me again. I thought that it was best for me to keep reaching out from time to time so she wouldn't forget me and fully go the distance with him. I didn't want to be the cause for them breaking up, if they would so happen to break up. I wanted her to come to the decision absent of me and feel more so done with that relationship and open to giving me another try. When you have a loss so close to you, you're consumed with death. It seems like it will be forever...I hope not. Everyday when I'm thinking about my brother, I'm thinking about everyone else left here close to me and how I don't want to lose them. I don't want to be angry at people anymore either. I don't want to lose Erica and I sure don't want to lose her or leave this world myself without having rekindled our relationship and showing her how much I love her. I also fear leaving this world with she and everyone else not knowing how much I love her. Another mistake from the time we dated is she never got to meet my family or many of my friends. I was scared my parents weren't accepting of interracial dating so when I told Erica about it, she was terrified to meet them and in turn she was never introduced to them in the light she should have been. Erica only ever met my brother. I one day, when the time is right, no matter how things turn out between us, I will tell my parents this is Erica, the woman who will forever have my heart. Venturing closer to recent times in my realization for the level of my love for Erica, it brings more detail of my dealings with girlfriends and dating. My 3rd and 4th girlfriends were pressed for relationship goals. They wanted to be married so bad that they were pressing to stay with me despite our differences. Erica was the only girl I felt truly liked me for me. All three exes post Erica were extremely distraught over me leaving them. #2 & #3 were to the level of suicidal. It bothered me greatly after #3's suicide attempts, it took me awhile to get back out there to feel available to date. I felt like there was something wrong with me that was doing this to women. Its not til after more dating pursuits and the 4th girlfriend that I truly realized the problem. I was wasting everyone's time all these years. I can not love another woman. All the women I have dated were at impossible odds. I measured them all up to Erica. None of them could come close to making me feel for them like I do for Erica. They have no chance. Its the most sure impossible thing in this world to me. I tried to front about it all these years. My third ex even pointed it out to me one time and I denied it in defense. We were friends for a short while after breaking up. I was mostly friends with her out of guilt because I felt terrible about wasting her time, leading her on and driving her to suicidal actions. She was always inquiring me about my dating life and this was the period of time I just couldn't find myself open to dating. She would insist I try finding someone saying I deserved to be happy. I happened to have been on one of the periods of me feeling hopeful for Erica again and I mentioned it to her. She kind of went off on me about it. She was like no wonder we didn't work. You're still in love with her and I never stood a chance. I denied it for her sake but I knew it was true. I was in a somewhat similar rut after my recent break up. I lacked hope for dating anyone and sure nuff finding love. In this time I was just reflecting a lot. Erica messaged me one day and it clicked to me. There isnt a single person that makes my heart jump when i see their name come across my phone. My heart dropped to a place I never felt before however, when I saw a picture she sent me. She sent me a picture of herself laying on the beach. I noticed a ring on her ring finger and I felt so broken at that moment. I congratulated and said congrats on being engaged. It's easy to portray that excitement in text. But in reality I was in the worst ways possible. Much to my surprise however she wasn't engaged and I was relieved. Everything I've been feeling over the years was all coming to a head. I can't live without her. If she does end up with someone else I won't ever be right. So after all of the pain I caused these women, I finally stopped fighting myself. I cant pretend like I will find another love. It doesn't add up to me. It is simply impossible. You can throw someone viewed by a strong percentage of other people to be beautiful at me, even perceived to be the most all around individual. They can not and will not be able to have me. Erica is the one for me.