#ive already forgot what i wrote. where's the memes

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i'm a LITTLE bit joking about my war on romance, but not really. its the isolating construct and its justification/advertisement in pop culture that i dislike, not anything about the existence of two people who want to be together because their lives are enhanced and nourished by their relationship. even if they fit the nuclear family. i love that people love each other and want to be together and i hate that there is no alternate way to briefly refer to this without calling it "romantic" and also i hate that even words like love and everything referring to the desire for and process of building such relationships is loaded with association with romance(tm), such as dating/crushes/marriage whatever etc. i mean, i don't love straight relationships no matter how against the norm they are because who does, but i dont want even those to be poisoned by the smothering crush of proper "romance." i dont want any relationships to be that way on account of it just brings guilt and shame and damaging self-denial and you know, isolation i also have a horse in the race as someone uninterested in a lifelong relationship with a single person, or even a relationship with any number of people where we get all emotionally intimate and stuff. i know life is unpredictable but luckily, even though if this was cishet romantic propaganda i'd learn the error of my ways by finding a charming [individual of the other cis binary gender] who wins my headstrong heart, i'm a gay so i cant contribute in the cishet narrative. but this goes along with the part how it doesnt matter if i do find and enjoy such a relationship in the future, as the present such-relationship-less version of myself is just as legitimate (also if a future self was in any relationship that any rando fuckin herbs were like "oh but that could be considered equivalent to a romantic relationship according to certain elements so just call it one" i'd introduce them to a swing or two. youve got cis people thinking their ideas are transcendent going "well if you define the binary genders this way or that way, everyone could be considered cis" and thats an infinitely dumbassed thing. unfortunately "nonromantic" is supposed to mean superfluous and no-kissing and of limited emotional scope/investment etc etc. and the idea of relationships is different from the idea of gender so) most of what bothers me is that as someone without a romantic relationship who can't be satisfied by considering myself as waiting/looking for a romantic relationship (which isnt a valid substitute anyhow for everyone being able to feel secure, supported, and content with whatever forms of relationships they have at any stage in their lives) then again i can be considered any number of the following: 1) having an inherently deficient life, 2) possibly having a pointless life, 3) being an inherently deficient person, 4) required to be of greatly reduced importance to everyone who has/gains a romantic relationship (supposedly literally everyone), 5) inherently disposable, etc. i have to resent that, and resent that any grievance with the idea of everyone pairing off and leaving it at that can only be resolved by accepting it. i dont want to feel like romance is attainable for me, but i would like to feel like im not doomed to being on the peripheral of the lives of everyone i interact with as a convenient source of interest instead of someone of value. you are inherently inferior and worth much less time/energy/love/attention if you can't be someone's romantic partner you know. like i'm not even saying that all relationships in anyones life have to be equal and interchangeable. just that its crap that there's meant to be only one relationship between adults which takes all precedence and is defined by whether you can eliminate all other relationships from your life in favor of it. that shit is not only bs for stuff like my case when you're not even about being with someone, but also people who do want to be with other people but aren't, and also people who are with other people. coz that is a nightmarish definition that doesnt even focus as much as what good things you find in a relationship as much as what other good relationships you could damage. god knows not everyone has infinite time but its ridiculous to think that friendships and any relationships with any level of intimacy can just continue without being given any effort or valued as something that can only exist 100% at ones convenience. and the isolating definition of romance is bad to feel one needs to adhere to coz that shit is gonna keep ppl from having a full life and require them to deny basic needs. thats just healthy sacrifice lol more like nah, not being selfish in a relationship is different from hurting yourself for the sake of the relationship Fun Fact I Forget: interestingly, re: how i complained about how i have to essentially define intimate, loving relationships (which can include friendships but according to romance friendships = limited importance, limited intimacy, no sex, no formal commitment, very limited physical affection, is the only other format of relationship besides romantic; aka why even "platonic" doesnt work as an alternate label bcoz the scope is so wide and its the idea of platonic sex/kissing/cohabiting becomes laughable when "platonic" = "not romantic") my own personal slang quickly evolved a substitute would-be equivalent to "romance." not so much anymore but i used to get a few confused asks about why i was calling a pairing between a boy and a girl "gay." and the answer is in part because bi ppl can call themselves gay and a bi relationship isnt straight just becoz some rando thinks it looks str8, but the realer answer is becoz i started using "gay" to the kinds of relationships that You Know Which Kind I Mean But I Have No Term To Refer To It As. like how "gay" also means any synonym of "good." it doesnt confuse people becoz often i am referring to obviously gay relationships as in not hetero, because those are better, but im also genuinely using "gay" as an alternate to "romantic" because i have to invent a word when romantic is practically synonymous with relationships and i dont want to invoke that construct. someones gotta do it. maybe i'll come up w/ another word, but "gay" became that word a year or two ago

[bringingglory]

thank you so much for the tags @hanamuri @fullmetalscullyy @megthemighty @nightofnyx8 @tsaritsa !

How many works do you have on AO3? 11! some are botw, one is tdiapt, some are fma, and some are haikyuu! i mostly just write for whatever im interested in at the moment/whichever fandom inspiration strikes for

What's your total AO3 word count? 101,939

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Keep Your Friends Closer But Your Enemies Closer - T: ahhhh my miraculous ladybug fic! ive literally been working on her for FOREVER and i swear to god im going to finish it, i literally know how i want to end it and i know all the events leading up to it. hell, i even have a vague idea of what i want to happen in the middle, i just need to know what order the middle stuff happens in and also i just have to write it. It's an AU where Ladybug and Chat Noir are actually enemies but then Chat Noir accidentally befriends Marinette and then drama etc etc etc.

rain - G: first zelink fic babey! set Pre-Calamity and basically link and zelda get stuck in a cave because of the rain and there's just a lot of quiet pining, etc etc.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Oikawa - T: HAHAHA this was a crack fic inspired by my roommate but then i forgot it was supposed to be a crack fic while writing it and there are accidentally real emotions alkjdfalksdf but anyway it was very fun to write lmao. it was based off this meme and basically it's an AU where Oikawa is Spider-Man and Iwaizumi doesn't know but they still like hang out and stuff. It's a lot of fun, or at least I think it is, haha.

stolen moments - T: first royai fic!!! just a series of "stolen moments" (mic drop) where roy and riza like cant be together but yknow, they try. lots of pining. etc

a secret weapon of sorts - T: 5+1 edwin fic inspired by the Simple People OVA where instead of ed giving winry earrings to get out of trouble, he gives her kisses.

Do you reply to comments, why or why not? Yes! I try really hard to!!! Sometimes I get overwhelmed and I don't respond to comments for a while, but I absolutely do my best to when I remember because I feel like it's my way of saying "thank you" for them reading my fics in the first place, haha.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Uhhhhh, sleepless I guess? But it's more open-ended/not explicitly positive more than anything, though even then I feel like I've got a hint of hope in there. alkjdfhalsdk idk man I just, I can't write *pure* angst, there's gotta be some light, and thus I could never end anything angstily

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? LMAO most of my fics??? I guess??? bc despite being an anxious piece of shit, I am an optimist by heart

Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written? When I was younger! Idk, I guess the Rise of the Brave Frozen Tangled Dragons fandom??? if anyone remembers what that is lmao

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Not exactly? Maybe some weird comments on KYFCBYEC but even then, it wasn't that often.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? No no no no no no no no. I am telling you, I physically cannot write smut. I don't think I actually have the capacity. Absolute fucking kudos to every single smut writer out there bc it truly is an art form capturing that intimacy and emotion and etc, but I literally get flustered from writing mildly detailed kiss scenes. If I ever wrote smut, I would burst into flames on the spot.

Actually lies, I technically wrote smut once, but it was at the request of my roommates and they wanted me to write a crack smut fic of Y/N x our uni's mascot and I wrote that thing in like 3 hours with so many silly memes to keep myself sane (not like other girls, tongues battled for dominance, etc), did not edit it, and because it was so, like, not serious, I was actually able to get through it. But even then, when I wrote "thrusting" I literally had to put my laptop down for 20 minutes.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet! Someone commented on Your Friendly Neighborhood Oikawa and asked if they could translate it and I said yes! They haven't gotten around to it yet, but I would love to see it if they do!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet!

What’s your all-time favourite ship? Bro it changes day to day. You can't ask me this lmao. The current ship I'm most fixated on is Iwaoi, but I wouldn't say they're my all-time favorite.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I'm not answering this energy. On god, I'm going to finish things. I want to.

What are your writing strengths? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh very good question lmao. I don't really like thinking about "strengths" in my writing bc who am I to say? akjdslakfjdf idk, instead, I'm just gonna say some things I like/try to do in my writing, which are: conversational prose/having a lot of voice in the narration, I try to add humor wherever I can, and recently I've gotten better and metaphors and describing things bc I picked up writing poetry a year ago!

What are your writing weaknesses? hmmm, a thing I dislike about my writing/the writing process is that I'm slow to publish things and slow to finish things because I'm such a messy first drafter and I also take forever to edit. I would like to uhhhhh get things out faster. Also I tend to repeat myself a lot bc I forget the details of things I write sometimes lmao.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Hmmm, I dunno, I guess I don't have any strong thoughts? The only other language I know is Mandarin but even then, I suck ass at that, so I'll prolly never write dialogue in another language simply bc I like to try to portray things semi-realistically and I don't think I have a good enough grasp on any other language the same way I do in English to produce authentic enough dialogue.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Fablehaven I guess? But Idk I was in fourth grade an didn't even know what fandom was yet. Rise of the Guardians, maybe?

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

AHHHH idk??? maybe hold your hand out in the dark because i really experimented with my writing on that one and im sort of proud of the result, just like the fact that i wanted to try something new and it turned out alright. that or Sunset Wheeling which is an iwaoi fic where they just skate, and like it's prolly one of the most self-indulgent things i've ever written because it's silly and they just. skate. but aljdfalsjd idk i loved it and i churned it out in 6 days and it was a lot of fun lol

ahhh a bunch of people have been tagged already, so sorry if im tagging you again, but for now im just gonna tag @niconiconina @notkorras @thatisadamnfinecupofcoffee @firewoodfigs and anyone else who wants do it!

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Author Meme! tagged by @purplepencilshades, thank you!!

Author name: Swift~ Ao3 link is on my blog already but im SwiftIsHere there (and p much everywhere) 

Fandoms you write for: whatever im hyperfixating on atm! which is mystery skulls rn and hopefully for a good while longer. the one wolf 359 fic i have up is leftover from.... That

Where I post: Ao3! i usually crosspost to here too, either as a link or the full fic. 

Most popular one-shot: uhhhh, lemme check... in terms of hits, that would be for all the friends that we have lost. only one for me is technically more popular, but I don’t count that and I’m p sure it’s just bc it’s been up longer. 

Most popular multi-chap story: only got the one! it’s Little Magenta Lies. i’d like to post more multichap stuff but none of it is... done per se...

Favorite story you wrote: ah geez... published, i think i’d probably say The Darkest Place. it’s so soft and i really like the characterization. as for unpublished, i really like the royalty au that i keep talking about and am working on in theory 

Story you were nervous to post: ooh, this is a good one. magenta lies makes me nervous every time i update it lmao, but Step in the Right Direction might actually be the one i was most nervous about initially posting. it’s so small and i didnt know if it would. count?? i guess?? it’s barely even a story and more of a retelling of canon events?? i really like it but?? 

How do you choose your titles: i dont choose the titles the titles choose me. seriously tho? i dont know i just kinda go with whatever string of words comes to mind. i like to follow what i call the “world of goo” naming theme, which is “just throw some word spaghetti at the canvas it’s fine just go with it” (this is a DIRECT call out for world of goo, whose names i love so much for being completely inane) 

Do you outline: i try to? i don’t as much for oneshots, but id never be able to continue anything long if i didnt. i just can’t think the story through in my head. i dont know how some people do it. 

Complete: i dont know that word sorry

In progres: yeah

Coming soon: i have over 40 wips in my msa writing folder. does that answer your question. more specifically: 

-some writing prompts i’d really like to finish

-aforementioned royalty au which has the most in-depth plot i think ive ever written? its VERY good i really want to share it but unfortunately i have to actually write it first

-some more drabbles, including but not limited to: another “first time something goes very wrong” fic along the lines of darkest place, some self indulgent “rsd is a Grade A Bitch” arthur stuff, a sickfic bc this fandom doesnt have nearly enough, some post-canon stuff about lewis and arthur making up, the list goes on

-a longer post-hellbent thing about lewis killing art, coming back to the rest of the group, and erasing vivi’s memories of arthur (i think ive either posted about that or talked abt it w/ someone? i dont remember exactly tho, anyway its ANGSTY)

Do you accept prompts: yes!! whether i will finish them is another question entirely

Upcoming story you are most excited for: royalty au again. also i forgot to mention for “in progress” but im also writing a very canon divergent fic where after the cave, lewis knows what happened as soon as he wakes up and he goes home and doesnt blame art at all... its good

i’m tagging @doodletrashcan, @ghostly-business, and @yepiamthesmileyface! (sorry if any of yall have been tagged already, & you dont have to do it if you dont want to!)