#ive actually been thinking abt it again..... i was stupid back then but i did have some good ideas

[nomairuins]

bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏

[arolesbianism]

Some Brute doodles plus a bonus Button

[fardf150]

fuck

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not inviting a friend of mine into my dnd campaign?

so i (18nb) have a friend (18nb, Martin) who i play in a main dnd campaign with with all our other friends (Ill name them Dan, Virgil, Mark, and Ray). Dan is our DM after we kicked out the old one bc she was horrible. We're a pretty close group of friends, but lately we've all been really busy with respective school & work, ect. so we didnt play dnd for a solid, like,, 4 months. I DMed a one shot for everyone besides Ray cause she was flaky anyway, and added in my boyfriend Zeke for it.

Everyone had a really fun time w it and I loved everyones characters, especially Dan's. I watch a lot of dnd shows, so i just keep getting more ideas- but while the one shot was fun it was messy as hell. Ive been wanting to write a campaign for a smaller group for a while, (because when i tried making a campaign with the whole group the character creations were... disappointing to say the least. this sounds mean but i created a fairy world that was very magical & told everyone to go crazy on character creation in a world with few/no humans, and like 5/6 people opted to be a human with a fighting class :/ )

ive been writing a campaign that im really proud of and have a good vision for, and decided to include Mark (because we're best friends) Zeke (because he wants to play dnd more and has no opportunities) Dan (bc he never gets to be a player) and then another close friend of mine outside the group named Gabe (who i love but never get to see) I love their characters & we're all super excited.

Thing is. I was briefly talking with Dan, Zeke and Mark about it at school bc I'd sent everyone a little intro message for the world and they were all super excited and wanted to talk to me about their classes. Virgil had no problem with this and was excitedly asking abt the world + characters along with some other friends from school, but Martin got quiet and went and sat by himself. I could tell they were off, but Martin is generally a quiet person anyway and is often sad + doesnt want to talk for like a hundred different reasons, so i left her alone. Later that day in a different class I have with Virgil he showed me his phone where Martin had sent him a message saying she was really disappointed & felt left out that i hadnt invited them to my campaign.

i instantly felt bad and started to text him, but,,,, to be honest, i dont think im at all responsible for this.

i have reasons for leaving Martin out, the main one being that they just..... arent a very active player. Hes soft spoken and doesnt actually like rping their characters- her character in our main campaign is/was literally mute bc they said they didnt want to have to speak as him. (theyve since taken this back and went through with a curse breaking thing to be able to speak, but her character,,, still doesnt talk much.) he writes really good, sad backstories but doesnt actually play or do anything with them and gets uncomfortable acting. Their characters are not only emotional, but like. crazy. they play a bunch of cool tieflings with insane magic classes & features and then, again,,,, dont roleplay them. I didnt want the group to be big and had a good reason for including everyone that i did, and our other friends that arent in it (Virgil, Ray who is Martins sister btw, all our other d&d interested friends at school) literally dont mind at all. i just wrote a campaign that theyre not in. Martin also has their feelings hurt very easily, so to be honest i just find her being sad about not being in it just... stupid. id never say that to his face & i get that he feels bad, but like....cmon.

im aware im a very very incredibly low empathy person- to be honest i struggle with depression and bpd very heavily and am often mean to my friends & loved ones without really processing why or how much it affects them. i told Virgil that i thought Martins reaction was stupid, and he said that that wasnt fair bc Martin had always been in my campaigns before (which is, yknow, one. Martin and I were even in a campaign with a completely different group a while back and Martin willingly left it very early because the group was loud & their character wasnt doing anything (yeah)). Every time Martins expressed (or i guess not expressed) sorrow for not being invited to it ive just sort of ignored them. this again isnt that uncommon cuz when shes sad he doesnt like to talk about it, and also they havent directly confronted me with this at all.

ive been talking about the campaign a lot because it occupies frankly a lot of my brain because i have so much to write, and i especially talk to the people that arent in it bc theres no risk of slipping up and telling them something they arent supposed to know. The other friend, Gabe, is friends with Zeke and Mark and I, and Dan is good around new people,, but Martins really quiet around people he doesnt know well, so if i invited her anyway they'd probably play the game even less than they already do.

again, im really bad at having an actual perspecitve on this. Virgil said he feels bad for Martin but not for himself, as far as i know Dan doesnt know about the situation, and i literally just dont wanna involve Mark and Zeke (Zeke HATES conflict and when people fight so he really doesnt have to be involved.) Mark Martin and I have all been really close friends since literally 7th grade and I guess Martin especially feels left out that I involved Mark and not them but Marks both really good at character creation and also talking in character, and like, hes my best friend who i do everything with.

I dont wanna blow off Martins emotions but but i truly dont give a shit that they feel betrayed by my not inviting him. especially because they havent bothered actually telling me this. objectively i dont think its my fault even a little, and Martin is really horrible at handling their emotions anyway (this isnt an insult, just a fact. i am too). aita for not inviting him + not caring that shes upset by it and acting like they arent?

sorry this is so long i really like providing context

What are these acronyms?

[pathetickuroo]

fukutora hcs bc theyre funny

- fukunaga shohei #1 lover of badddd bad bad bad movies. terrible films. not good. we're talking sharknado snakes on a plane willys wonderland velocipastor that one thanksgiving slasher film that i cant remember the name of rn (dont think abt the mechanics of it being a thanksgiving movie too hard). generally not a movie enjoyer i think but most certainly clocking in for shit that is Not Good

- tora is baffled every time but definitely not opposed to it (this guy loves cuddling on the couch i think he hits the fake yawn arm around shoulders maneuver like. regularlyyyy and fukunaga doesnt even pretend to think its silly anymore)

- "shohei this movie doesnt even make any sense" "🤷"

- tora the hugger from behind of All Time he is finding any possible excuse. "u look cold" or "makin up for lost time" or "i have practice in an hour plsss plssssss just let me have this PLSSSSSSS" (he uses that one in particular a lot) (fukunaga wouldnt have said no in the first place) (he thinks its cute so he doesnt say anything abt it)

- repressed-as-hell hs tora did not quiteee know what to do w whatever tf he had goin on so he didnt get the guts (ha) to say anything until a couple years after graduation (which he then said over text bc yokohama -> tokyo = long distance)

- fukunaga conveys thoughts in as few words as possible (which is fucking awesome btw if fukunaga has no fans it means ive died) BUT in order to preserve the meaning it sometimes takes a second to respond

- tora did Not have a good time attempting to navigate this when he was trying to confess

- bro immediately started freaking out to yaku "DUDE WHY DID I DO THAT THAT WAS SO STUPID" "omfg its fukunaga give him a second. impatient ass" "I THINK IM DYING" "jfc"

- meanwhile in tokyo fukunaga was staring at "i rly like u dude" trying to figure out if tora meant like (homie) or like (w/gay intent)

- fukunaga only ever calls tora by his full government given name when he is Displeased. tora used the pan he needed for dinner tn so now he has to wash it? taketora. tora rearranges his living room w no warning? taketora. doesnt even say it in a mean/angry tone or anything j matter of fact as all hell. honestly i think if fukunaga was ever genuinely angry abt smth hell would probably freeze over

- tora does get extremely pouty abt it tho. "shoheiii what did i do :(" "the pan" ".......OH FUC—"

- when tora first moved to yokohama he got a cat bc of course he did he graduated from nekoma. tf else was he supposed to do, get a dog? (maybe in the future)

- very very fluffy very cute very sweet tuxedo girl. her name is "destroyer" (yes really) he calls her badass on the reg and she is sooo cuddly w him. fukunaga finds all of this extremely funny

- in fact when fukunaga starts visiting suddenly destroyer doesnt gaf abt tora anymore. worse than pain of death in his opinion it is So Not Fair. first thing fukunaga does after he meets the cat is send a pic to the old nekoma gc "top 10 cats that like me more than they like their owners" tora throws a pillow at him "i RAISED her from a BABY" "did u rly" ".....NO BUT IT AINT RIGHT"

- after theyve been together a few months toras thinkin abt how fukunaga used to Never Talk Ever and he makes a joke "ha i guess i learned how to speak BODY language am i right. right shohei. thats funny right"

- fukunaga calls him taketora for a week. tora retires that joke permanently and they never speak of it again

- tora morning person fukunaga not-exactly-a-night-owl-but-doesnt-love-being-awake-at-5:30 person. one time fukunagas in yokohama for the weekend he wakes up at 6 annoyed as hell (tora got up at 5 and left for a run) bc wtf his pillow literally got up and walked away. falls back asleep wakes up again at 10 tora made not only coffee but pancakes too AND heated them up for him hes immediately like ok nvm this is fine actually no complaints (<- still gets annoyed when his human teddy bear ditches him)

- TORA BABE SAYER. hey babe thanks babe i missed u babe. but it took him foreverrrrrr (forever) to get comfortable actually saying it instead of thinkin inside so there was also (and still is) a lot of dude (romantic) bro (romantic) man (romantic).

- fukunaga doesnt like saying pet names or anything (but to be fair does he like saying ANYTHING most of the time) but does not mind being called them at all (that's a lie he thinks it's awesome and so so so sweet but when tora asks if it's okay he says he doesn't mind)

[wttcsms]

Hihi i saw ur request box was open & i just couldnt resist! A big confession to make here, uhh ive been such a big fan of u and yr writings and also u were the v first fanfic blog i came across a couple years ago so yea, u literally open my third eye to a whole new world of fics👉👈 🥺

i feel like you havent written angst in a while–and bc i miss ur angsty haikyuu fics– sooo could i request post-breakup college!au with atsumu or iwai (honestly anyone who'd best fit the scenario cuz i trust ur characterization👌) abt the aftermath of the breakup, them seeing us on campus and unconsciously following us with their eyes, reschin to help out on instinct only to realize theyre no longer together, thinking about what could've been just reminisce reminisce

ahhhh im sry honestly dont know how to expand more on the idea

thank you for stealing my ficvirginity😃

pairing atsumu miya x f!reader word count 2.1k content contains exes still in love, college!au, mutual pining author's notes hi <3 i remember you (eycee, right?). don't be a stranger! you can always dm me and say hello :) thank you for the constant support. not sure if this fic is angsty enough, but i wanted yours to be the first req i do <3

“Hi, welcome in! Let me know if— Oh.”

Your voice falters, recognition and maybe even something similar to embarrassment flits across your face, and a split second later, you go back to smiling like nothing’s wrong. Like the two of you haven’t spent the better half of this month actively avoiding each other at all costs, even though the sprawling acres of the University of Tokyo suddenly feels too small. The entirety of Japan has felt too small ever since it became his mission to never cross paths with you ever again. 

This mission of his started just a little over two weeks ago, on the very same day you decide to use his heart as your own punching bag. The worst part of it all, though, is the fact that he doesn’t even hold any type of contempt for you. It’s a cruel sort of joke; sometimes, Atsumu Miya feels like everything bad that happens to him is just some sort of sick punchline in a sitcom instead of real life. 

Usually, when girlfriends find out their high school sweetheart is going to be a wildly successful (and rich) professional athlete, they’ll do anything in their power to hang onto him.

You decided to snip the invisible string tying the two of you together, and you did it so effortlessly, so quickly, that Atsumu had to make sure that he hadn’t been imagining the last four years of your relationship. 

He’s got his hands shoved in his pockets, and he’s torn between staring at you like a total creep or looking at everything in the campus bookstore but you. He settles for the former, scared that this will be his last opportunity to really look at you. 

Neither of you is saying anything. It’s a Saturday and so no one else is even in the bookstore this morning, and Atsumu wants to say something, anything, but he’s never been that great at carefully picking his words, and he’s scared out of his mind that he’ll say something stupid and prove once and for all that you had been right to break up with him. Better yet, he wants you to say something. He wants you to give him a better explanation instead of the bullshit you told him in his apartment. 

We just want different things.

What does that even mean? He thinks he would have shouted out that question, if only your little break up speech hadn’t caught him so off guard. Different things? The two of you wanted different things? Sure, Atsumu likes to sleep in a freezing cold apartment, and you need the room to actually be at a reasonable temperature. And maybe Atsumu has a penchant for overly fried, greasy foods when all you want (and deserve) is a fancy dinner. Maybe Atsumu wants to be at a sports store instead of browsing aisle after aisle in Sephora, but he doubts these different wants have accumulated so much that you felt you had no choice but to break his heart. 

“Hey, Miya.” You say it softly, dropping the perky customer service voice you greeted him with before you turned around and realized who he was. And he flinches. He fucking visibly cringes at the way you speak to him, walking on eggshells and going back to formalities like he’s barely above a stranger to you.

Miya.

(Did you know that he wanted to make that your last name?

Do you know that he still does, even now?)

“Hey,” he replies back, curling his fingers into fists inside his pocket. He thinks his voice comes out all scratchy, like how it always sounds when you don’t use your voice nearly enough. He clears his throat awkwardly. Everything feels awkward; everything feels wrong. He says “hey”, but what he really means to say is please don’t call me Miya; you know the color of my toothbrush, you don’t have to call me Miya. 

“Were you looking for something?” 

You.

Subconsciously, Atsumu finds himself seeking you out. He walks by another girl on campus and almost breaks his neck with the speed he turns around to catch a whiff of the perfume wafting from her body because he swears it’s the same fragrance you favor. He walks by the building that houses all the classrooms for your specific major, even though it’s located on the opposite side of his own classes because he secretly hopes against all hope that he’ll run into you, and you’ll see him and fall in love with him again. He goes to the same restaurants the two of you frequently ate at together, and he orders your usual because you can never finish your entire meal and always have him finish off the leftovers for you (and the food is always good, but somehow it doesn’t taste the same when your utensils haven’t touched it first). And he doesn’t even need to be here, doesn’t even care enough about his stupid class to go out of his way to buy the study guide, but he knows you’ve started picking up the weekend shifts at the campus bookstore, and suddenly, he cares enough about passing to get the damn study guide. 

He shrugs. “Just some stupid workbook to study for an upcoming exam, but it’s not that serious.” 

“Oh. Is Dr. Furata giving you a hard time again?” 

“How do you do that?” Atsumu blurts out, wanting to kick himself for giving too much of himself away. You already own every centimeter of his heart and maybe his soul. You don’t need anything else from him; he’s almost certain there’s nothing left for him to give you, but he can’t help but impulsively ask the damn question that’s been running through his mind ever since you left him behind. 

Did you know that when you’re confused, your brows furrow together, and you get this adorable, endearing crinkle in between them? Do you know that he still finds that same expression as cute as he did when you still called yourself his girlfriend? 

“What are you talking about?” 

How can you just stand there and act like you never crushed his heart? How do you wake up in the morning and not feel like your life is missing something important, like you’ll never feel whole again? How can you keep him wrapped around your finger, and then have the audacity to not even realize it? How did you let him go so quickly? 

Practicing caution, he swallows hard before clarifying, “How do you know everything?” Because if you can act like he’s just a polite acquaintance, like he’s nothing more than another fellow classmate, he can try to play pretend too. He can act like there’s not enough history between the two of you to fill up every damn textbook in this stupid store. “Yeah, Dr. Furata’s been on everyone’s ass. Somethin’ about midterm grades being worth a quarter of our overall grade.” 

“Believe me, you’re not the first victim of Dr. Furata’s to come wandering in the store. I think I have a few more of the workbooks he suggested in stock. Let me go check.” 

It’s instinct at this point for Atsumu to just follow you. If he uses his imagination, it’s almost like he’s back to browsing in a makeup store, walking aimlessly in every aisle, following you loyally because he’s happy to have you lead the way and he doesn’t care where he ends up, so long as you’re there with him. 

But this isn’t an afternoon date with you. This is him following a bookstore employee. After you find that study guide, which is really nothing more than his flimsy excuse for seeking you out, you’re going to ask him “card or cash?”, ring him up at the register, and he’s going to walk out that door and have to act like he’s still not in love with you. All the while, you’re doing fine. You’re fine right now, and you’re going to be fine when he leaves, and you’re probably going to be fine, five years down the line, when you’re happy with someone else and Atsumu is alone because in this little hypothetical, he still hasn’t gotten over you.

He is trailing behind you in this bookstore, and your back is facing him, and he’s panicking because he doesn’t think he’s capable of not loving you. 

Just two weeks ago, you knew him better than anyone else in the world, maybe even better than Osamu, perhaps even better than he knows himself. Now, you just give him a polite smile as you grab the small stool to reach the books located at the very top of the shelf. 

“God, I hate the way we organize everything in the store.” You say, lightheartedly complaining. He knows you do. He knows because he’s known you for nearly a decade. The two of you have grown up together. You made this same complaint sprawled out on the couch in his apartment. 

When he doesn’t reply, you look down to see if something’s the matter, only to do it too quickly that you find yourself losing your balance. Before you can come crashing to the floor, Atsumu is quick to catch you, and you pretend that his protective embrace isn’t comforting. You pretend not to notice that he’s wearing the cologne you bought him for Christmas last year, and you continue to pretend that you don’t miss him at all, that you don’t still love him. 

And for a second, the two of you both pretend that you’re still with each other. That it’s perfectly okay to savor this intimate moment, that his arms wrapped around your body right now isn’t awkward in the slightest. He’s staring at you with a sort of starstruck, boylike wonder, and it’s so familiar, so sweet, because it’s the way he always used to look at you. His lips part slightly, like he’s about to say something, and—

The loud ring! interrupts whatever moment the two of you are sharing, and you nearly jump out of his arms. You hear the distinct footsteps of another student, and you adjust your shirt before remembering where the two of you are — what the two of you are. Not a couple. Barely even friends. Just a bookstore employee and a student that needs a book. That’s all the two of you are allowed to be.

“I should probably go check up front and make sure they don’t need any help.” You tell him, biting down on your lip. “Anyway, did you need anything else, or would you like me to check you out right now?” 

He blinks a few times, as if still in a daze. “Uh, yeah, sure.” The tips of his ears are flushed a light pink. “Y-yeah, I’m done here.” 

The two of you practically race each other to the front of the store, and you step behind the counter to scan his workbook. He drums his fingers, looking around the store. When he’s nervous, he likes to be moving. You know this. 

Just looking for an excuse to use his hands, Atsumu mindlessly picks a pack of gum off a nearby rack and slides it towards you so you can also scan it. You know you shouldn’t say it. You know it’s supposed to be a clean break. Instead, you tell him, 

“Actually, if you want, I have the fruit variety flavor.” 

“Huh?” This catches his attention. 

You reach into one of the boxes that have just been shipped to the store, rummaging through a tiny one before revealing a shiny, new package of gum, this one advertising all the flavors based on tropical fruits. “Would you rather have this one?” 

“Oh, yeah!” As if truly forgetting what the two of you actually are (exes, strangers with too much history, two people still pretending like they’re not in love), his eyes light up. “How did you kno—” He doesn’t finish the question. He knows the answer to the question. 

You’re quick to finish ringing him up, the “polite strangers” illusion being completely shattered. It’s obvious, really, that there are always going to be parts of Atsumu that still live deep inside of you. You can only hope that this isn’t the case for him. 

You hand him the bag, and when he grabs it from you, your fingers just barely graze each other’s. Atsumu is scared — scared that this might be the last time he ever feels your touch. 

And because you’re a glutton for punishment, you find yourself telling him,

“Don’t be a stranger.”

You can’t tell who’s more devastated: you or him.

[fraternum-momentum]

This is so so stupid but I got very happy when I read in your strawpage you are from 2003 too, I've lurking around seeing your art ever since DOL caught my eye and you're one of my favourite artists so having that bit in common is cool! I also love your DOL designs, especially Kylar's and Whitney's but the fave gotta be your PC she's so pretty! Seeing your fanarts keeps tempting me into posting dol art of my own so if I ever draw dol I'll draw our wet cat (Kylar) together >:)

Also if you haven't played Fields of Mistria or Homicipher I definitely recommend them! The first one is similar to Stardew Valley in the sense you're a farmer, you can decorate your house and romance any of the bachelors/bachelorettes but this one is more fantasy-like and the artstyle reminds me of 80s anime and Sailor Moon. The second came out recently and I haven't played it yet but I saw the trailer and some fanarts; you wake up in a terrifying unknown world where you have to survive and the romance options are very creepy men, one of the appeals of this one is trying to learn the world's language, it looks fun

Wish you a nice weekend! PS: Is it ok to follow you if I like South Park? I know DOL is darker when it comes to sexual stuff but just in case I prefer to ask boundaries

HELL YEAA '03 BABIESS 🤝🤝 ngl that dol era was probably peak bc i was fucking around with a lot of my mooties and just interacting with the fandom in general, it was so funnnn :3 and ky and whit r probably the most popular ones out of the 4 school li's (designwise my favs r still my fallen syds bc pretty) so understandable (⌒_⌒)d

but thats insane that u find my pc pretty bc thats probably the most boring, most generic looking self insert ever 😭😭😭😭 so many people have cooler looking pcs out there so im flattered that u like mine 😭😭😭 ??????? for some reason 😭 ??????????

and you totally should !!!! (if u want to of course) despite me not posting as much dol as i used to i still love seeing dol fanart !! but do whatevr ur heart desiresss and no pressure :3

and i've actually been following the development of fields of mistria ever since i saw march in my twt feed !! i just want to wait for the full release so i dont have to keep repeating playthroughs n stuff (its the same with hades 2, i just tried out the beta test bc its free so i went why not lmao)

OKAY. I KNOW i said im gonna play homicipher but like,,,,,,,,, this is def just a me thing but when everyone keeps saying to play this thing or watch this thing (arcane,,,, homicipher,,,) it just disincentivises me to do it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 especially when i know im gonna like the thing. IDK WHY,,,, maybe its kinda like the same philosophy as someone telling u to do the dishes when ur alr on ur way to do the dishes and like ok i dont want to do it anymore ?? idkkk its weirdd

Re: P.S. you can follow me from whatever fandom ur in ! as long as youre not a minor and u have either 'adult' or your age in bio then its all good

SORRY I WAS KINDA CONFUSED AS TO WHO U WERE TALKING ABT I THOUGHT IT WAS THE HORSE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i think u meant celia from tpof :3 ? that's probably one of my favorite drawings ive done ! i dont remember how i did it anymore thou,,,,,,,,

AND YEAA!!! i used to be an infamous irumatsu shipper back when i was active on my main on insta ! my silly lesbiabs,,,,,,,,,, they r everything to me,,,, my favorite chara is shuichi tho ♡

CATCHING UP WITH LORE 😭😭 U DONT HAVE TO DO ALL THAT,,, u arent missing out on much dw 😭 ty tho,,

weirdly enough i never got into creepypastas. i def stumbled into them from time to time like slenderman, jeff the killer, ben drowned n shit but i think ever since i got scared shitless by the smiledog.jpeg (??) i never stepped my foot into creepypasta territory ever again 😭😭😭😭😭 ok i like horror but im really really bad with jumpscares and suspence and stuff. i get scared easily orz,,

ive heard of it ! seen a lot of (really insane) fanart for it !! havent played it tho but i like some of the designs :3 i keep seeing the guy with the horns? malleus ? hes cute,, well tbh all of them r cute so its a hard choice

[theropoda]

...... i have. PRAWBLEMS. with the ending but honestly i felt very unwell and gross rn so i had difficulty focusing in the first place, maybe if i watch it again when i feel better ill feel different. under read more bc this got long lol

disclaimer before anyone GETS at me: i am not a critic. im literally just some guy watching a tv show, and i am really more confused than anything so if you really enjoyed the finale and feel like it was the perfect way for the show to end im happy for you! i don't have any intent on arguing it Absolutely Wasn't. this isn't a Hatepost. just me airing my thoughts. that are probably really incoherent bc again, i feel unwell ;_; brain is more focused on my stomach than this damn show

i knew how this was gonna end, i did watch the end of this show before, ive always been familiar w house because i watched episodes of it on tv as a kid with my mom and sister and knew major plot points like amber's death and wilson's cancer and house faking his death and everything but. the details were lost on me. now that i know the details something about them just doesn't jive with me and feel right.

probably related to my earlier post about how even in the final season so much of house is the same. he tried to change for the better but he was still back. i mean the entire premise of the show is about "the disabled addict doctor who struggles to be a person" so if any of these magically stopped being there that'd be stupid ESPECIALLY him being a disabled addict which are so central to his character. so im definitely not complaining about that.

initially i thought him faking his death was insanely reckless but what other choice was available. if he went, Hey, im here! im alive he'd absolutely be going to jail. in jail so far away while his best friend, maybe his only friend would be dying alone. of course he did that. his only choice was ttofake his death to be with wilson. throwing away his whole life and legacy and career and reputation to be with him.

hilson endgame real but also, while watching the whole show i kept going from "tumblr didn't lie these guys are gay" to "Tumblr may have oversold it a bit". but that might just be in the nature of its episodic structure. not e everything is abt wilson there's other people in house's lofe but in that final season everything does speed up, suddenly and become about wilson. which brings me to the whole cancer thing. in my memory of the show from watching it as a kid, Wilson's cancer came up as a plot point WAY earlier and there is much more time to discuss it in the show. to ponder and delve into it, what it means for wilson, for house, for the show. but actually watching the show it feels very sudden....! i felt like the entire cancer thing, which plays so damn heavily into the SERIES FINALE, wasn't explored enough...? it felt rushed. but it might feel like it because well there's a difference between watching a show as it comes out on a schedule vs binge watching it on demand.

and another thing that irked me is- but this is more of a "this personally makes me Feel Sad and Weird" as opposed to genuine criticism is how EVERYONE thinks house is dead except Two People. that's crazy. i have a Thing for closure and knowing things, the truth, im a little paranoid about that, but it just feels insane to me that house's own parents, family, former and current colleges, lovers, everyone... they all think he's dead when he's not. i see how that is, in terms of the Narrative, a good thing? house is truly FREE now. and if other people knew they'd probably call the police. but also that's just kinda horrifying.... I don't know. idk. also wtf cuddy wasn't there at the funeral? D: obviously i know how their last meeting went but they were such big part of each other's lives im rlly shocked she wasn't there! or even showed up at ALL in the ending scene where we see where everyone's life has headed, a little scene of her, Rachel, and someone new

and also. ._. how did that fire even start in the first place?..... did i miss something....? uaaaaah. i should watch it again

ugh but despite my peeves. i want to pass this off as Just another show ive watched, time to move on to the next, because a big part of the reason i started house and kept going and even chose to watch it at the times i did was because i have been going through some rough shit mentally for the past. entire year plus. i have relied on it to keep me distracted. i want to just move onto the next distraction but i have become so attached, it's hard to not feel :/ and :( about 1) the fact it's over now 2) it ended in a way that makes me feel funny, and not in a good way. aaaahhhhh.

[zundamind]

wow, would you look at that! it's been a full ass year since you fucked me over! september 29th.... yeahh..... XD our fuck-you-versary! hi clifford!

in case you dont remember, the name piko might jog your mind. yeah thats me!! hellwo!! honestly you shouldve known better than to stick with your old username but hey props on you for changing it last minute! almost didnt find you for a second lolll!!

i wanted to drop in and say HEY! HELLO! HI! and give you some status updates :3

update one: i'm getting better!! no thanks to you, of course. and actually i should say we're getting better. yep! thats what happens when you suffer so bad your brain cant take suffering solo! XD

update two: while my mental health has been at an all time low ever since you fucking dropped me like a fucking ROCK, ive been getting over things lately! my clean streaks are now longer than a week! i no longer want to kms! im even making friends again!

update three: while both of the above statements are true, you still live in my mind rent free. i remember when i first stumbled across your blog a few months ago, i had a full on spiral! not anymore, though. i am STEEL, BABY! also you spinning in the mental microwave rent free is why i'm sending you this heartfelt ask!

man.... even when i try, i still find you somehow and its never intentional. like imagine scrolling the tptm tag only to be straight up jumpscared by your ex best friend's username! how embarrassing!

also i'm sorry but i have to say the reason(s) you left are sooo fucking stupid..... what, cus i was weird? come on. everyones a little weird. even a little deviantart weird. oh and because of some stupid opinions that shouldntve even mattered if you were actually a friend? get real, trey. what if i left your ass because you had a fuckin biting kink? that wouldve been funny actually. like making a sad callout post on twitter thats just "my friend left me because i wasnt vanilla enough!" XDDD

oh, and if you ever see your "stalker" again, assuming you're not thinking its me and that its actually your previous qpr or whatever the fuck, say hi! i find it funny as FUCK, since, you know, you were considering cyberstalking me at one point. and tell chaos i said hi too. i'd also mention mayu, but do you two even keep in touch anymore? probably not, considering the weird things she's done.

anyways thats the end of my relay. if you dont want these kinds of asks again, i suggest either turning asks off or just straight up deleting your tumblr and/or making another one that is NOT connected to any username youve used in the past, because in that case i'll just find your ass again lmaooo. remember! every year on this day will be the day i remind you that you are NOT allowed to stay sane X3

sincerely, your most hated, piko. (i hardly use my old blog anymore, so have fun finding my current blog! and do what you want with this ask, make a callout post, scream into the ethers, reply to it, idc.)

this should stay private but idc

i know what i did was wrong piko! i was 12-13.

dont take this as me excusing myself. i had horrible emotional regulation back then, ive healed from everything back there. you dont deserve to be called out because ur like. 14-15.

do not bring mayu or chaos into this,weve all healed and forgot abt you.

i overreacted bc of very worthless things because i was basically obsessed witj you, you were my fp, if you didnt know.

completely forgot you even existed, i havent been checking your profiles at all in months. you shouldnt either, please forget about me. you'll drive yourself crazy.,

if you think im going to "cancel" you, no im not. for your sake, please dont interact with me anymore. i apologize for how i acted over stupid things, but we were both young and idiotic. im also a system, i dont even remember half of the things you did bc of that.

move on. ive moved on, weve all moved on.

dont bother yourself with me, you dont need to.

[robynstumpytail]

Weblena Week 2024 Day 7: Free Day - Remix Day

hey yall! last minute entry to weblena week! ive been having a lot of fun keeping up with it, so heres an excerpt from a weblena fanfic ive been working on abt lena's mental health and growth through the series for the free day. this is the last part, the most explicitly shippy, taking place after the end of the series. its my first time publishing my own fanfic, so i hope u like it!!

The fire crackled. Lena sat on her couch across from it, watching it flicker back and forth. It was the only light in the room. It had been years since she last saw Magica, longer since the worst of her control. Still, old habits die hard. Every time Lena thought she saw movement in the shadows, red eyes flickering in the dark, she reflexively checked to make sure she was alone. She always was, but still. She took a sip of her hot chocolate and sank deeper into the sofa.

Her ears pricked at the sound of the door unlocking, then the door opening. “Lena! I’m home!” Webby’s voice called, one room away.

“I’m in here!” she called back, not taking her vision away from the flame. Only when she saw a flash of movement did she look. This time, it was Webby, standing in the doorway. Despite the shadows, Lena could still make out her furrowed brows, the concern in her eyes.

“Everything alright?” she said, sitting down next to Lena. Lena waited for Webby to notice the mug on the coffee table and take a sip as she gathered her thoughts.

“Yeah, just thinking,” Lena said. She paused as Webby wrapped her arms around her in a cuddle. Of course, Lena reciprocated, giving Webby a kiss on the top of her head before continuing. “I started imagining what would happen if you and I hadn’t met. I don’t even remember what triggered it. Something stupid, like maybe an online quiz. But then I just got stuck in there, thinking about how long I would’ve been with Magica and how she would’ve hurt me. It started feeling more and more real, like you were actually gone. So…” she trailed off, motioning with her mug to the fireplace. Webby knew about the ways in which they grounded her; she didn’t need an explanation.

Webby started rubbing Lena’s arm. “Okay. First off, you know that you can call me about this stuff any time, right?”

“Sure,” Lena said. “But you were coming home soon enough. Plus, I called Violet when it started. She helped.”

“Oh, awesome! Second,” she said, drawing back enough to look Lena in the eye. She hoped that her tear stains weren’t obvious, “That’s never going to happen. I’m right here, and I always will be.”

“I know,” Lena said. She squeezed Webby tighter, trying to commit it to memory. Webby’s here, Webby’s here, Webby’s here. They sat like that for a minute before Lena couldn’t resist chiming in, “Unless you find an artifact that changes the past or something.”

“Lena,” Webby groaned. “That’s not the point.”

Lena knew Webby was right. Lena also knew that she was right. “Which one is it?”

Webby paused for a minute, clearly fighting something her instincts. “...The Wall Flower of Bielefeld, but still!” Lena laughed, and Webby quickly joined in. She quickly got serious again. “Even if that does happen, I’ll find you again. I always will.”

Lena got choked up and started to feel her eyes water as she pressed into Webby’s shoulder. “I love you, Webby,” she said.

“I love you too, Lena,” she responded. They sat like that for who knows how long. Lena wasn’t counting. All that mattered was that she was with Webby. Passionate, lovable, caring, genuine Webby. She was safe.

After however much time had passed, she asked Webby, “So how was your adventure with the triplets?”

“Oooh! It was awesome! First of all, they love the bracelets you made! Second, Dewey has gotten way better at flying. He only crashed…” As Webby kept talking and Lena started to drift asleep, comfortable in her arms, she saw red flash out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t bother checking if it was Magica. It didn’t matter. Only this moment, right now, mattered.

[aropride]

hi

hello internet strangers want to hear about my personal life as per usual

well as those familiar w my lore know my title ix case (us-specific college thing where, tldr, if u get sexually assaulted u can do a little mini court case thru ur school) is finally fucking over + i won . which is awesome. unfortunately the respondent (title ix word for "person who did the assaulting") got preeeetty much no sanctions at all . like literally nothing changed . the lawyer recommended they be moved to the other dorm hall but they couldnt, so basically they got put on probation and that's it. Lmao. which means my situation is WORSE than before i filed the complaint, bc b4 i filed the complaint they were in the other dorm hall, and then they moved to mine. but i can't do shit about it unless i want to take my school to, like, court.

well anyway the respondent's life changed in no meaningful way Except they moved out of the dorms last month by their own choice. i assumed that meant they were embarassed abt what they did But i guess not. Bc they've been getting really into on campus events and hanging out in the central building that i like to hang out at. and its like. okay. whatever.

but the thing is . theyve been going to a lot of queer-centric events recently . and while im the only person whos filed a complaint or won a case against them. i am not the only victim i know that for a fact and the other victim is also a queer person. So can you see why im worried about someone who managed to sexually assault two queer people within the first week of living on campus like, integrating themself into the community like nothing fucking happened

and theres this school dance coming up in a couple weeks and im worried that will give them an opportunity to like. hurt someone else.

and i want people to KNow what they did because i dont feel safe with them on campus anyway but i especially dont feel safe now theyre talking to people and making friends (especially bc most of their friends r like. friends of friends. like i dont know them but i know of them yk) . i dont know what theyre saying about me (if anything) and i especially dont know if theyve hurt anyone else. and they might have! because they demonstrated a frankly dangerous lack of regard for consent repeatedly Like i think this is a genuinely dangerous person, whether by malice or stupidity or both, and i dont want anyone else to get hurt

BUT THE KICKER IS...! well first of all we're bound by a no-contact order (baby version of a restraining order). you cant be in the same classes and you cant talk to each other (irl, online, or thru a 3rd person) the title ix coordinator has provided jack shit about what a no contact order actually entails btw lol 😒. But if i were to tell someone and they went and told that person, idk if that would be considered 3rd party contact, which would get Me in trouble

i also dont know if it would be considered "breaking confidentiality" if i said their name- again, don't know jack shit, don't have documentation of the actual rules i'm supposed to be following. but i really dont feel like this is a safe situation for this person to be on campus with no one knowing what they did

im also just generally worried about them finding out ive told people and getting mad and going to the coordinator and me getting in trouble when the only reason im even considering this is bc, again, the school didnt do jack shit

and i dont even know How i would tell aynone . like im not rly friends with most of these people . i see them around and some of them i think are cool but theyre not friends or really even aquaintences . so it would be fucking weird .

but i dont know what to do and i dont want anyone else to get hurt . and i know thats not on Me, but. i also dont want to sit back and Know. and not say anytthing

[mikeyswayy]

hey, uh. hi. yeah. sorry i dont know why im doing this. im pretty sure youre dead. god i hope you arent. maybe this is just the digital form of visiting someones grave eh? yeah, i dunno. its lonely without you. keep wanting to tag you in things, god i fucking wish i could still tag you in things. i was a little scared to send this one, even just to write it, but id rather you be alive and proving me a fool for writing this than dead. maybe with my luck the universe’ll wanna make me look stupid so bad that ur actually fine. i miss you. ive been waiting the past few days you know that? waiting to be wrong waiting for you to come back waiting for this to be like the other times, but its been four days now. i just. i hope you found peace man, i hope if you are dead its better than anything ever was back here, you deserve it.

while im here i figure i may as well catch you up on everything goin on, not anywhere near as good as getting to freak out about it on here with you but i think its the best im gonna get. so basically a couple days ago frank posted five random dates in the shape of the mcr logo and that was. jesus frank. the dates are 11/13, 2/16, 3/7, 2/24, and 12/6. i now live in fear. and then today the official mcr account posted a picture with a background that looks reminiscent of paper kingdom, oh god, 150 peices of,, ash? confetti?? falling down over large red letters that spell out a backwards k and then cr. so basically. going insane over if this is mcr5 or not. fuck youll never get to see mcr5 will you? fucking scary, feels wrong to get excited about it without you. i hope youre okay, i really fucking hope youre okay and all this is for nothing i hope youre in the hospital because soneone found you before it was too late and you just cant have your phone because of it, i hope you didnt even do anything and youre just staying off tumblr just anything, please, fuck man you have to be okay alright?? im scared, i really miss you, i know we werent that close or even close at all but you mean do much to me alright i need you i need you to be fine. i hope you see this. oh, on the topic of not being close, i uh. never learned your real name. i made a small patch with your username and put it in the left breast pocket of my coat, i hope thats alright. wanted you close to me and all

i think thats it, so uh. this is goodbye i suppose. i didnt get to say goodbye before. saw your post 2 hours late. it hurts, i try not to get too caught up in the what ifs though. its hard. so goodbye friend, until next time. i hope to see you again. i love you.

I'm not dead!

I'm sorry I scared you like really badly but I'm okay

What happened was I like almost didn't but I didn't go deep enough to do any real harm to myself

I cut a little but not the full way so I'm fine but if I had went all the way I would probably be gone bc no one did like come in my room for a while after

I've just been staying off of here and not really posting because I didn't really think anyone would really care if I was dead or not

But I know you do

Also I really appreciate you saying what's been happening with MCR thank u

I know abt everything but still u telling me is really sweet, thank you

The patch is really nice, thank you

I feel like doing something similar since u did that and I probably scared the living shit out of you so yeah something with ur user maybe idk is that weird idk

I love you too man

I'm really sorry for scaring you I just didn't know what to do that day and I'm sorry for not really posting anything after that 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[slaythespire]

im sorry my tumblr followers who dont know me im mad rn, im just rambling mad under a readmore again thanksss

listen its not that i need to be dating someone im just chilling. in fact rn i would not want to date anyone.

but i HATEEEE HATE seeing people say shit like "You dont need anyone, you should learn to be happy without someone else in ur life! why do you need someone else! just be happy without that!" well damn sue me for wanting someone to deeply love me who i deeply love back!! why is that such a bad thing to want!! obviously if you cant function without being in a relationship that's not good, but people always say that shit to someone going "i feel unlovable and like no one will ever want me" and it feels so meanspirted!! damn!!

its been like almost a year since i got ghosted and i know its annoying to hear people complain abt the same thing over and over again. but its just HARD bcus i feel stupid, and used. i really thought my ex was like, THE person, we talked abt getting married and how we'd combine our last names, abt moving in together, supported each other through everything. when i was in inpatient this person called me almost everyday i was there to say hi and check in on me. i thought my future involved them and then they just dropped me without even an explanation. never in a million billion years did i think that would happen (outside of my bad brain telling me it would, which, well i was right so LOL) bcus they were my best friend of 8 years!!

and its scary bcus it makes me think there must be something wrong with me/"how could anyone ever love me when even the person who dated me for 6 years didnt". and people always say things like "you haven't met everyone who will care about you yet" but what if i have, and my one chance at having a relationship i was so happy in was ruined bcus the other person is a self-obsessed asshole who lied to my face abt so much for who KNOWS what reason. WHATEVER.

i feel like when i make posts like this i come off as an insane person in the "no wonder they broke up with you" way, but i promise im actually normal ive just been very emotionally ripped to shreds by a very bad breakup. barely a breakup bcus it was over TWITTER DM. whatever im just gonna be one of those people that obsesses over fictional characters so much i think were in a relationship.

i just rlly rlly wonder what their reasoning for doing this to me was and if they feel bad abt it. or if they think its funny, or if they just dont care. i also wonder if they think they can just message me one day and apologize and think itll be okay (i dont think this will happen, i used to but i dont anymore)

i lean towards they just dont care, i doubt they even think about what they did lol. i mean i HOPE they feel bad, but i dont think thats true. id be shocked if i ever heard from them again which is just, crazy. 8 years of knowing someone and it ends like that through no fault of your own. i wish i had a screenshot of the break up dm id post it in a heartbeat so anyone who actually read this far would feel whiplash like i do. (filled to the brim with "i love you so much" "i feel horrible for hurting you and i hate that im doing it" "i really care about you" "i hope you stay in my life bcus youre my best friend").

and it makes me really sad bcus OFC we would have stayed friends, i loved them so much that while id be sad abt breaking up i would still want them in my life. (WE EVEN TALKED ABT HOW IF WE BROKE UP WE ALWAYS THOUGHT WE'D STAY FRIENDS). but even in my fantasy world where they reach out after a few years all apologetic and guilty i just couldnt do it anymore.

one more but i don't understand what would compel someone to say all that knowing theyre lying and dont give a fuck about you, like it only comes off as evil and fucked up and cruel to me, so how else am i supposed to take that.

[lexysstorm]

Live thoughts while reading Thunder:

- why did frostpaw just use the word hours?

- please gay frostwhistle please

- goosegrass? I think thats a new one.

- AAAAAA i just want to read frostpaw pov shes the only one im interested in but ill give the others a shot

- LILYHEARTTTT queen

- if squif doesnt become leader i will be very unhappy

- OMG IVYPOOL DEPUTY????

- ok but why is night going with them i dont see a point

- i really really really hate the decision to pair sun with night it doesnt feel earned. Just let sun be in shadow its so much more interesting there

- ok sunbeam show me whatcha got

- stop being stinky lionblaze

- BAHAHHA BERRYHEART????

- ok she kinda right tho- does look kinda desperate sun im sorry girl you dont need no man

- ok i like spark and finch WOOO

- really love how berryheart trespassed just to whine at sun for leaving

- FROSTPAWWWW

- i dont remember smoky being this nice but ok

- FROSTPAW KIDNAPPED BY PEOPLE???

- FINALLY someone brings tree up in all this

- thats a HILARIOUS trial idea actually

- THE KIT SWEARING LMAOO

- finchsun please

- i think its kinda dumb that riverstar is here ngl- then again i didn't read his super edition

- OH MY GOD SHE GOT SPAYED?? IM

- theres goes my frostwhistle😭😭😭

- another traveling book im

- LMAOOOO NIGHTHEART IS SUCH A BAD CAT???? Hes going for fame😭😭😭😭BROOO

- oh my GODDDDD sunbeam girlie PLEASEEEEEE LEAVE HIS ASS AFTER THIS IM BEGGING

- OH MY GOD SQUIRRELSTAR????? HOLY FUCK

- STOP BEING A BITCH LIGHTLEAP

- i am actually very interested to see what tree comes up with for a solution

- what if frostpaw brings a cat back from the forest territories to be riverclans leader wouldnt that be STUPID

- OTTER MOMENT

- usual nightheart L

- ok i have a pool and a cat that goes outside and the pool cover does NOT bend under her weight💀💀💀theyre made to support a humans weight just in case (i think, dont try that)

- yeah frost is kind of carrying you night step up ur game

- dovewing ur right to be defensive queen- kind of shitty of ivy to be kind of trying to use her like that even if i do like ivy,,,

- omg "im not letting you manipulate me into manipulating him!" PERIOD QUEEN

- berryhearttttttt whatre you planninggggg

- cherry fall is right just give it a lil shove- im sure they could aim the rock to not hit a den

- i bet the black cat that refused to eat with the park cats will be rcs next leader but that's a crack theory

- meditating cats

- ok well. Why cant she just. Learn everything she needs to abt meditation real quick then go back to rc

- WERENT YOU SHADOWCLAN LAST WEEK HAHAHAHAH FROSTPAW

- YOURE NOT GOING TO SHOW US HOW SHE REALIZED??????????? HELLO?????

- oh nevermind okay

- "ive always known" SUREEEE unless im forgetting something from previous books, you didnt suspect a THING frost

- ok so her name is rook, ill remember that

- wait. Waffle. Waffle that won the contest? WAFFLEPAW????

- Worse than you imagined??? what does THAT mean

- READY AS ILL EVER BE

- cherrfall sus

- Cherryfall?????

- OH MY GOD QUEEN SHIT SUNBEAM HOLY SHIT

- sunbeam u really need to tell someone what youve seen and heard istg

- wow the big reveal nobody saw coming. HEY i DO like the idea though! Frost getting manipulated by her mother and a cat she loved is pretty fun to read, more interesting than nightheart. Even sunbeams pov has been pretty fun. Honestly if night didnt have a pov/wasnt a main character i would love this arc a lot more! And if sun didnt switch clans smh MAKE HER GAY HUNTERS

- ok well. Frostpaw. Dont. Do it. In rc camp??? Do it at a gathering- so EVERYONE knows

- oh my god is she actually gonna do that?? Lets go????

- oh my GOD NO WAY ARE THEY GOING TO VOTE HIM OUT??? TIGERSTAR II IMPEACHMENT????????

- wait dont the medcats have to be w the impeachment squad or am i misremembering

- ok good someone brought it up, but there should be a rule that if the medcat is closely related to leader they should be excused bc of conflict of interest right?

- YESSSS PUDDLESHINE

- uhuh SUREEEEE podlight

- NONONONONONONONONONONONONO

- THATS IT?????? BRUHHHH

[glazedvsion]

work complaints/drama down below

okay theres a new girl shes a baddie ive only talked to her once but she seems nice idk every time a pretty girl starts working here most of the boys are like "i dont like her" behind her back because theyre stupid men but eventually they'll treat her normal idfk i guess she hasnt been here long enough for that turn around and some of the girls dont like her too i wont lie but i think its just misunderstandings from being new idk i havent spoken to her since her first day so id like to give her the benefit of the doubt.

anyway our gm is aware that a lot of ppl have a negative first impression of her so one day another coworker of mine notices from a distance that the new girl is wearing leggings to work. we r not allowed to wear leggings only blue/black jeans/pants no shorts no cargo pants no leggings and she remarked to another coworker "shes not supposed to be wearing leggings" and our gm overheard her say that and he tells her "you shouldnt be prejudiced against other people" like what. on earth. those are literally the rules he sent someone else home a couple of weeks ago because he wore cargo shorts to work and granted its an open secret that he doesnt like that particular employee so that likely partly influenced his decision to send the guy home. but that actually makes it worse because now you're over here telling my coworker she shouldnt be prejudiced about someone else when its known u treat this other guy harsher than others bc u dont like him. make it make sense.

and honestly taking her side on something like this will only really make ppls resentment towards her even worse bc now it seem like she's getting better treatment than others bc if it were anyone else they would have been pulled aside and been firmly reminded of dress code if not sent home because we've been here longer and know better. if he really wanted to promote fairness he would have responded "ill have a talk with her later" to my coworker instead and pulled the new girl aside and kindly reminded her of the dress code bc she's new! she deserves some grace like the rest of us did when we were new we can all agree on that! and if after that she wears leggings again then its like well clearly she thinks she's above the rules we all else have to follow. but if you dont tell her how is she supposed to know, she'll keep thinking its ok with management if no one says/is allowed to say anything abt it.

like she cannot win here and she doesnt even know she's losing its so fucked up :/

[mausolealdrift]

Do you have a deathgasm notp??? Sincerely, a canon zakk/Medina was a fucking cosmic fuck up incident truther

oh you’re absolutely right i have So many thoughts about this. sorry this took me forever to answer i needed to collect all of my thoughts together and all of that i am Normal about Characters

so like . for obvious reasons the thought of ppl genuinely shipping zakk and medina as in like……… thinking theyd actually be good together or smthn is a fucking insane idea and im So very glad ive only seen maybe one person say some shit like that. (which like. honestly im starting to think i might have imagined the post in my head just to make myself mad bc i havent been able to find it since ??? but i SWEAR i saw someone shipping them once .) the two of em actually being in a relationship would just be. Awful and unhealthy for both of them

(and yeah zakk and brodie arent exactly healthy for each other either . but in the sense that they both make each other Worse yet neither of them can stay away from the other even if they want to etc etc. which is actually sexy and not just . y’know)

but anyway . yeah Definitely a cosmic fuck up. medina deserves better than that :( like she’s been objectified and treated like shit by pretty much every guy who looks her way and then zakk lies to her abt the one guy who actually respects her to manipulate her into hooking up w him. give her a BREAK

but as much as it was The dick move of the century i think zakk had his reasons for it aside from just boredom. Obviously this is all very much my personal and extremely biased interpretation etc. but i think it was out of frustration more than anything else because he just can’t fucking cope with having feelings for brodie. regardless of whether you see those feelings as romantic or not he Cares too much about him. and he doesn’t know how to handle that so he takes his anger and frustration out on medina in such a spiteful and destructive way because it’s all he knows how to do. and whether he knows why or not, the idea of brodie getting closer with medina bothers him so so deeply – enough for him to try and sabotage their relationship at every chance he gets (and then later trying to keep them apart to stop brodie finding out what he did because he doesn’t want to lose him) under the guise of just being bored or only caring about himself.

and i really don’t think there’s much of a possibility that he did it because he was into her, or jealous of brodie, or anything like that. zakk never showed interest in her at all until then (i.e. when she made a move to try and get closer with brodie) and just….. seemed generally pretty indifferent to her otherwise. if he really wanted to then he could’ve made a move before, but he didn’t.

he purposefully did something that he knew would hurt them both if they (inevitably) found out, maybe not because he genuinely wanted to hurt them but because he’s reckless and destructive in nature, (and maybe a little bit stupid sometimes), and just doesn’t know how else to handle or comprehend his feelings other than to take it out on other people.

i think a lot of the dickhead-ish shit zakk does in the movie seems kind of random and thoughtless and it’s difficult to unpick what his motivations are for the things he does aside from just ‘because’, but a lot of it starts to make a lot more sense when you see it as a result of him caring about brodie far more than he wants to, and not knowing how to handle it. he seems so cruel and uncaring, and he definitely wants to be seen that way, but i think he cares deeper than anyone else in his own (kind of incomprehensible) way. and yeah, it’s still shitty and selfish and fucked up, and he still took advantage of medina and used her regardless of why, but i dunno. i think the reasons for it were a lot more complex than he let on.

(again, maybe i’m reading too much into it all and he is just a fucking cunt who just did shitty things for no reason, but the fact that he still came back for brodie after everything, despite how mad he was, even though it led to him dying in the end, is more than enough to show that he really does care too much for his own good.)

so yeah uh. i don’t fucking know how this went from ‘yeah i think zakk/medina sucks’ to a full-on analysis of zakk. But i dont care actually i love being fucking insufferable about this stupid movie <3

sorry for the massive fucking wordvomit im tortured by the curse of Thinking about characters