#its well past midnight here
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so just know, I'm healing / even though it don't feel like it
insp
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#good evening it is past midnight and i am here furthering the itfs scar kissing agenda#stumbled across the insp pic buried in my likes and i went oh this is relevant in the opposite direction :) I Can Use This :)#op has some of my fav itfs fanart ill b so real n tht piece ws swimming around in my brain fr Days#so i told myself today my reward for submitting my zine checkin wld b drawing yuuji kissing megumi's scars#also pls observe. /this/ is what i mean when i say tht megumi receiving affection looks like he is unsure and in mild pain#Does Not Know How To Respond To Affection Even From His Own Boyfriend.png#i LOVE drawing megu with this expression so sosos much the downcast sidelong gaze + furrowed brow.....#its SO good#also idk what i did with his hair here but the render actually turned out so well ?? best megu hair to date every1 pls clap#not 2 mention th shape of yuuji's bangs???? pats self on th back no offense but i am on fire w these boys' hair lately#that being said i decided i did not want to render anything else ddfdfjjghdjgf i got tired#kept the rest flat n took the opportunity to play around w light chromatic abberation on the scars#idk if any1 noticed but i found th retro film filter n used it a bunch on my recent comic#its so convenient it comes w built in noise n everything!!!!!!#anyway . caption is salt fv <333 if u care <333333#i think it is also a megu song but like . a post-canon megu song#i thought this wld take longer bc i was planning on rendering everything so i cracked an energy drink and am tragically awake#shld i start smth new we shall see smile :)
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Heritage Februabba 2023
Day 5: First kiss || Last kiss
@heritage-februabba
#its past midnight here so i can post this now hsughsdjkfdghjdfikghfjkds im ill about them#i like colouring stuff so it looks like coffee teehee#something about drawing people kissing is so embarrassing. oh well#i had a really evil idea for this before and some people have seen that sketch but i grew bored of it#heritagefebruabba23#first kiss#jojo's bizarre adventure#jjba#bruabba#bruno buccellati#bruno bucciarati#leone abbacchio#vento aureo#golden wind#jjba fanart#corps.art
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Looney Tunes headcanon time!
I've been thinking about this for a while so now I gotta share it on here!
Bugs Bunny doesn't get mad easily. That's just how he's wired. Calm, collected, level-headed, usually pretty relaxed, lazily strolling down the street while humming a merry melody (eh?), he prefers to chill and doesn't really take anything seriouslly.
A Warner Bros. intern messed something up, be it accidentaly or because he was a careless idot? Bugs doesn't even flinch and immediately finds a way to fix whatever it is.
A student at Acme Looniversity is goofing around way too much during a lesson? All Bugs has to do is give him a look and the child stops at once, but he never raises his voice or loses his temper.
One of his enemy messes with him? Pfff, are you kidding? That's the most fun he's gonna have all week!
Even when he gets irritated by one of them, he doesn't actually get mad mad and he certainly doesn't hate them (he's too cool for that). It's more of an "oh, he interrupted my peaceful afternoon? now i'll have to fuck his entire shit up" kind of thing. He might be mildly annoyed in the beginning but by the time he starts plotting the poor soul's demise, his irritation is long gone. His motivation is rather the principle of "don't mess with me" rather than anger.
Sometimes Bugs will fake being mad to get his point across (to scare people, usually a nemesis or a student), but again, he's not really angry, he's just exaggerating.
However, and this is where my headcanon comes in, this doesn't mean that sometimes Bugs Bunny doesn't get pretty fucking MAD.
Like I said, it's very hard to get him at that point. But when he gets there oh, Lord have mercy! And it's not what people (who have obviously never seen him in that state) might think.
He doesn't shout. He doesn't get physical. He doesn't throw a tantrum. If he does any of those then again, he's not really mad. He either does it for comedic effect or to intimidate. No. It's much more unsettling than that.
Instead, he just goes quiet. And not the usual relaxed, watching-shit-go-down-from-the-sidelines quiet. Oh, no. He's rigid as a statue. His upbeat expression is replaced by one of pure coldness. No condecending smirk, no smug look, no playfullness in his eyes. Just a motionless face with an icy stare.
If Bugs speaks when he's like this he doesn't raise his voice. He doesn't need to. Instead, his tone is serious but surprisingly... calm. Not relaxed like it usually is, but more like... even. Controlled. Firm. There is a slight strain in his voice as if he's doing his best to hold back the greatest rage someone has ever seen (because he is).
If he does this to anyone then that person/toon will most likley shit their pants. Because they know, oh, they know they fucked up big time if Bugs Bunny acts that way towards them.
Whenever he's like this literally everyone is scared of him. Toon or human, doesn't matter, if Bugs is this angry YOU STAY OUT OF HIS WAY.
No one messes with him, not Elmer, not Sam, not Wile, not Marvin, not any of his enemies, no Acme Loo student, no WB intern, even the executives are nervous around him if he's like this. Even Daffy, who gets a kick out of pushing Bugs' buttons every time, is nope-ing himself out of that situation so hard. Like nope. Not today. Nuh-uh. He wants to live, thank you very much.
I feel like I should mention that Bugs isn't cold hearted though. Even if he is in this state he will not be a prick to people who have done nothing wrong or to the ones he cares about. He realizes it's not their fault.
He might be a little distant but it's just because he wants to be left alone to calm down. The others know and understand and will leave him to cool off.
Again, though, he doesn't get this angry that often. In all his life he's probably been like this like three or four times (which is very rare given that he's been around since like what? the 40s? but even if it's happened only a few times it was enough to earn him the reputation of being really damn scary when pushed to far).
Also, he's never ever like that because of a Looney Tune or an Acme Loo student or anyone he cares about. If you are part of the aforementioned categories then it's damn near impossible to get Bugs to be that mad at you. Annoyed? Sure. Angry? Sometimes, yeah. But never mad like that.
No. This type of rage is reserved for a special breed of people. The ones that have crossed Bugs big time, that have done something really messed up.
What makes this so scary for the others witnessing it, even if it's not aimed at them, is the fact that it's so different compared to the way Bugs usually acts. Like, he's almost unrecognizable. Besides, the rabbit is pretty powerful given his whole WB mascot gig thing. He can rock your entire world with just a snap of his fingers.
#the mesaage is don't push bugs too far#trust me others already did it#they thought they could mess with him since he is just a dumb bunny/cartoon#it did NOT end well for them#fuck around and find out at its finest#also idk why i wrote this it's past midnight here and i have school tomorrow haha kill me pls🥲#looney tunes#bugs bunny#daffy duck#elmer fudd#yosemite sam#wile e coyote#marvin the martian#tiny toon adventures#acme looniversity#headcanon#looney tunes headcanon
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IT’S MY BIRTHDAY
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Elden Ring DLC is already amazing bc the first thing I did was die so some stealthy screaming naked maniac with gauntlets and the second thing I did was avoid the dog on fire that was positivley surrounded by bloodstains
#txts#i also forgot i didnt level up to 60 vigor and died a lot bc man these guys be hitting hard#anyhow...am at 60now...dont judge lol#but its past midnight so...bed time bc i have work tomorrow still#wont have a long weekend or time in a WHILE#worst case i'll have to work 10 days in a row but we'll see....and pray#also not grumpy guy going 'if you stop following miquella i will be your enemy' like aight cant wait for that fight bc now its def gonna#happen since you put it out in the world so openly!#elden ring#i have not yet found the....basket fire giant things#i skillfully avoided the first one i saw and forgot about it until now rip#did get the first dragon tho-the ghostfire one#yay me 120k runes richer and 1 level more#got shits expensive#i know endgame for everyone is like lv 150 but consider this: i wanna use EVERY weapon or at least try it#but ALSO do well w/ my main#so....i am gonna sludge here a lot rip
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no but lately ive fr been getting more comments/keysmashes/rections in general on twt than on tumblr which is crazy
#'lately' meaning past several months#it rly feels like there isn't much reason to post stuff here anymore#not that ill stop because ive been doing it for years after all but man#mar's midnight rambles#like its not about the numbers themselves but the amount of people directly saying they like my drawings and sharing them yknow#(which tumblr likes don't count as)#but well after all there Are less people here that actually like the same things i do i guess ?#or amongst the people that actually manifest themselves
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WIP Wednesday
It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants. Here’s how it works:
In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.
Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!
After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.
That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!
If you’re reading this, you’re invited! If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.
filenames:
actualtimeloop
possessed
threewordsfollow
immortalingo
yashitawhump
and a timeloop snippet under the cut
"Do you remember the only time I let you do my make-up?" She bites back a grin. "It wasn't that bad." "Goth panda clown, Amanda. Goth panda clown." Amanda laughs out loud. He can't remember the last time he has ever heard that sound. If he's honest, he can't remember the last time they have ever really done this. Four years ago, he supposes. That's when their lives hit a sudden halt, with the whiplash to come to his senses. Sure, they have jam sessions, sometimes watch a movie together, but rarely much else. He looks up at his sister, wonder if she is feeling the same way. After those stagnant years, he knows the answer.
#wip wednesday#because possessed is the bangfic i cant share a lot of it#soo ill write some and also either work on the other wips orrr wips that havent been listed cause i have so many#its past midnight here so might as well#2 non dghda fics too wild for me#dghda
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doing all 3 at once is a talent but she pulls it off well
#websmp#websoup#web smp#yes she's a woman. yes she's a mansplainer. she exists#also drawing this was such a funny experience bc obviously i needed a ref for the syringe so it was just#*visibly stressed* wow i love medical horror#no but medical horror and scientific fuck ups have no right being that fun and also. horrifying. who would have thought#its kinda funny looking at the things i am scared of though bc youd think i have some kind of trauma surrounding them but no im just.#like that apparently#also i just realised its past midnight and i have work tomorrow oops#ah well theres still time to continue novel writing in my tumblr tags#i do fr have an alt account to spam on but main acc tags just hit different#okay i just zoned out for 4 minutes thinking about teeth i might cut it off here
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hi quick life update, we're currently at the tail end of moving (TOMORROW) and life is chaotic but ive had my spark for oc content fully reignited lately as latimer and i work on our current project. as soon as i get a chance to get settled in i wanna try to come back to this blog more, and just keep using @penisbilt as like a private that anyone can read LOL
It just has a lot less followers than this one, so i feel a little less 'always in the panopticon' posting stupid shit from that blog as i would making the same shitty post to 20x more followers here. but i do also miss engaging with more people sometimes. i can just keep using both!
anyway it wont be overnight but hopefully SOON i will be able to start establishing an actual Online Presence once again 🙏
#currently zooted on the floor trying to pack very quietly as its now past midnight#as you can see by me being online well id say thats going just great wouldnt you say#also what made me think to drop in here was i wanted to boost a gofundme ask i got on my smaller blog. which will be reblogged presently
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im gonna be completely honest man all this donna noble posting is getting to me. ive watched maybe max 3 episodes of doctor who 6 years ago but youre convincing me a little bit to watch more. youve made me insane about these two characters i know very little about outside of what you put on my dash. what are you doing to me
This is the highest honor anyone could've ever bestowed upon me,Laying down on the floor i've reached self-actualization god put me on this earth to make other people on tumblr unwell about donna noble and i've succeeded at long last. go watch 2006 christmas special runaway bride now
#and then all of series 4 of doctor who#actually you dont have to do this. do whatecer. ill be here rotating my guy on this blog 24/7 feel free to observe#and you dont have to watch ALL of series 4 but you do have to watch partners in crime(<-non negotiable) And fires of pompeii And turn left#(and midnight also. donna isnt in this one at all its just the best episode of all time ever)#silence in the library/forest of the dead is also like really fucking good not essential but recommended#and then stolen earth/journeys end is the finale of series 4 and donnas exit i wouldnt actually deem this essential#unless you plan on watching more past series 4 and/or also want to watch the 60th specials.#well its like obviously an essential part of her character journey and the story overall but its also So packed with So Much Other Stuff#like it brings back lots of other characters from prior seasons and wrap up their journeys as well and if youre not invested in those#you just might be confused as to whats going on. its still fun tho but i suspect you get maximum enjoyment out of it if youve watched s2-s3#or at least some of it#ask#swagyaoi#holy shit incredible url who did you kill for this
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bewitched
sort of fluffy… maybe a twinge of angst here and there.
Wendigoon/reader (platonic lmao)- he FINALLY UPLOADED AAAAAA-
MAIN MASTERLIST | OTHERS MASTERLIST
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Summary: Being separated from your friends while on a camping trip in the woods is scary enough, but how different would that fear be if one was to come face to face with a creature people never thought would ever exist?
Warnings? Occasional bad words? (i don't remember, I write the summary and warnings before the actual thing). And I mention his first name more than once, that's a recurring thing in these. you are the wendigo.
This is a great song to write with, it gets the brain going, especially on tense and fast-paced parts.
and this is more of a chill vibe for everything else.
also, upon writing this, I researched what a wendigo sounds like so I can include it in this and- holy sh*t- no thank you-!
Started writing on January 11th 2023, but posted when he uploaded next... i know... a while.
2.6k words-
According to most Algonquian oral traditions, a windigo is a cannibalistic monster that preys on the weak and socially disconnected.
In most versions of the legend, a human becomes a windigo after a person's spirit is corrupted by greed or weakened by extreme conditions, such as hunger and cold. In other legends, humans become windigos when possessed by a prowling spirit during a moment of weakness.
There are different versions of the word “windigo,” and there are many variations on the creature’s appearance and powers. Sometimes, windigos are described as exceptionally thin, with the skull and skeleton pushing through their ash-coloured, mummy-like skin. Other stories describe the windigo as a well-fleshed giant that gets proportionately larger the more it eats. According to other legends, the windigo has pointed or animal-like ears with antlers or horns sprouting on its head. A windigo’s eyes have been described as sunken or glowing like hot coals. Sharp and pointy teeth are characterised to tear through all sorts of materials...
It was... a curse to some. But for you,... it was... natural.
Walking on the well-worn-down desired path in the woods that many people have used with his friends, Isaiah looked around at the scenery near and far. He loved being out in the wilderness, it lets the body and mind take a break from the clutter of society, and it felt rewarding and deserving. There was a point in the walk where they were all quiet for a little while to just take in the surroundings, the only sounds were the sounds of shoes and leaves from on the beaten path, coats rubbing against themselves as their arms moved while walking and the birds in the surrounding trees. Perfect. The weather was perfect also, even if the mud was a little soft from a few days before their initial arrival, but it got better from there, as the sun rays were breaking through the branches high above.
And after a few pits stops throughout the day and hours later, they arrived at their next stop where they would spend their final night in the woods. Not saying that they're gonna die, just saying that they're gonna go home the next day. Even though that day it had been warm, the temperature can change drastically at night, so seeing as there were four people in total, two stayed at the campsite, and two went together to collect more firewood as the fire was only small for now. And they needed more. So Isaiah and one of his friends volunteered to go, luckily they still had some daylight to work with, but they bought their torches just in case at before they know it, the light would be gone.
Sometime later, they both gathered enough wood to return to camp, which was easily seen in the distance. Could you be sure to keep that in mind? Walking back, Isaiah thought that he must have daydreamed for a minute or so, because one second he was walking back to camp, and the next he realised that he was nowhere near the camp. Looking around, he thought that he must have walked further than he originally thought. But even if that was the case, one of his friends must have stopped him from walking into the dark woods ahead, right? Right? He looked up at the sky, it was the same as before, only that it was a little darker. So, understandably, he was confused as to where he travelled to in such a short amount of time, that short the sky didn't change must. He knew he wasn't dreaming.
Luckily, he came prepared. He brought a compass to retrace his steps. Albeit dark now, the night vision goggles were a great help. But it didn't feel... cold. It didn't feel the temperature it would be at night time, it felt normal like in the daytime. ...even if it wasn't daytime now. But he was understandably confused. How could his friends and the camp be right there, in one second, and then... not there the next?
But seeing as he was now alone somehow. This made him think. He thought of who or what else could be in the same area of woods with him. Black bears? Wild Hogs? Red Foxes? All of them have a chance of being near.
Then out of nowhere, he heard this high-pitched wailing, it echoed all around him, bouncing off everything, and it sounded as if something was... in pain, and he thought about going to see if he could help. But he had second thoughts as he didn't know what it was and the thought was immediately cast aside when he heard some distant growling come from the same direction. Fear stricken, the best option in this situation to do was to hide, and so he did, in a hollowed-out fallen tree. Heavy breathing. Sweaty palms. Wild eyes and a busy mind. The fear was paralyzing. Judging from the sounds that this... thing made, he instantly knew that this thing was not at all human. Not at all. But he just didn't know what it was. Was he asleep and he was dreaming this and he just wasn't aware of this? He doesn't know. Because he would remember being in the tent before falling asleep.
He could defend himself, no doubt about that. He still had his gun. But he was scared to even make his presence known at all. This thing began to come closer, he looked through a hole in the bark, and what he saw was... like a dream. He never thought that he would EVER be able to see what he is seeing right now. It was so tall, like a tree, like a dead tree to be more specific. Its bones pushed out against its skin, its complexion the ash-grey of death, and its eyes pushed back deep into their sockets. Like the living embodiment of death itself.
It was an actual wendigo.
And he couldn't be more fascinated yet terrified.
He was bewitched.
Its tall, lanky legs were all he could see as it walked past him, for it to be able to detect him, he had to be moving. And its tactic to make things move, thus scaring it, was to let out its painful, whale-like screech that rang out in every direction. Luckily for Isaiah, he didn't move, as he was currently fascinated, but trying to keep himself calm to prevent him from doing such things as running away. That would make him known to the creature and ultimately put his life at risk.
Even though he had to get away somehow. He did not want to risk getting more lost than he already is, he wanted to get back to the camp... wherever that may be. And with what felt like an eternity to him later, with the wendigo a distance away, he started to make his way back to the campsite in question, he thought that everything would seem familiar eventually as they passed it earlier in the day.
Okay enough of me rambling;-;
For the small amount of time that they were both in close proximity, the wendigo,… in other words, you, had a feeling that someone else was near, but was not so sure. Even if your senses are heightened, like heightened senses of smells. How you weren't able to detect him that way was sort of questionable.
But it being dark, and not the ideal temperature, Isaiah was tired, he just wanted to rest, as anyone would want when they've had a weirdly scary experience. The body lacking the sleep it needed did not help the basic functions, such as shivers from temperature, which was the body trying to keep itself warm and keep awake, sort to speak.
Finding shelter was the most important thing needed in this situation, even if it was a fallen tree, he made his move towards it when you were not around. The layering of clothing made it more bearable, as he was dressed to withstand the weather, and even if primal instincts were to light a fire, he could still be putting himself at risk as the fire would be seen as the movement by you, which would lure you. Even if it makes living easier.
At some point in the middle of the night, he was woken by the sound of footsteps walking nearby, crushing the leaves and fallen sticks/branches nearby. And these footsteps sounded familiar, not human as they did not sound human. Is it back? He thought, quickly sitting up and grabbing his water flask, as it felt like his mouth was as dry as the decaying tree he was currently residing under for the night. Quietly twisting the cap off the flask before drinking a few much-needed mouthfuls, he was correct, it had come back.
And even if legend does state that it has an undying hunger that would drive it to eat anything that it senses moving, it wouldn't go by him. Even if he did accidentally make movement by dropping the lid of his flask onto the shrubs beside him, thus creating a quiet rustling sound, the head of the beast spun round to look in the direction, facing directly at Isaiah.
Its hearing was impeccable, remember?
Like last time, heavy breathing. Sweaty palms. Wild eyes and a busy mind. The fear was paralyzing. Only that his heart wasn't raising so fast. It elevated a little but nothing major. There was a sound coming from the creature, it was much quieter than last time, the echoing whale-like sounds, only softer. Less brash. As if it didn't want to scare away whatever was around it or in its path. That being Isaiah.
These forever blood-seeking instincts that were programmed into you had... calmed down. For the time being, at least. You had not ripped him up to shreds the second your senses were laid upon him.
More soft sounds came from the creature as it slowly walked towards the area he was currently residing in, its steps were heavy, yet soft. As if it didn't want to be seen as careless, even if they are by nature. The growling coming from it was not so harsh as it would be if, in its hostile state, it was almost... curious? By the time it was where Isaiah was hiding, he held his breath as you the beast leaned down to inspect the area. And it found something. Him.
He glanced at it. He didn't want to make eye contact for fear that it would enrage this... thing that could do catastrophic things, causing it to do other unexplainable things, such as hurt him, or worse. Even if he had glanced at it up close, he could see every single detail of its scratched, cracked and worn face, every single marking on it has its own little story, be it good or bad. It had been through a lot. They both had. Especially in the past few hours. Like now. Because in the last few seconds, it had made its way even closer to Isaiah. So close that he could touch you it.
He does not know what made him do it, but he did it. He touched your its head. Expecting the feeling to be rough, it was rough, but also smooth in some areas where let's face it, you had to get into some tricky areas to reach certain things, resulting in your head rubbing against other textured surfaces, but it isn't like you were bothered by it at all. You were both very surprised at this sudden turn of events.
Yet still curious. Even if this situation does seem kind of familiar. Both of you expected it to not go so well, but it was the exact opposite, it went really well. His touch was soft and gentle, which even he did not expect. No one did.
What stayed at the front of his mind is what a wendigos behaviour should be like, which is seen as the embodiment of gluttony, greed, and excess: never satisfied after killing and consuming one person, and constantly searching for new victims. But you, you weren't doing those things now. Yes, you would be doing it when he isn't around, but now, you were mutual with him. As if you were getting along. Which he found... a little suspicious to say the least. But with another glimpse into your dead-like eyes, he found out it was genuine. You weren't so hostile.
It felt like you two were familiar with each other, and had been since, what felt like, forever. It was a bewitching moment.
But, as usual, all good things must come to an end.
Your instincts kicked in again, and you growled, but not at him, despite the amount of fear you had just injected into him in such a short time. You screeched, he threw his hands onto the sides of his head, pressing his ears to block out the piercing sound, but with wild eyes, he watched whatever you were doing. Because if your natural behavioural instincts had indeed kicked in again, he doesn't want himself to be caught with his guard down.
Screeching into the distance, at something, you ran fast into the deep forest. The torch beside Isaiah flickered before cutting out for a few seconds, coming back on again after.
He was prepared to fight back. He didn't have to. It is rare to leave a wendigo unscathed. He was unscathed, he beat the odds.
What just happened? Was the only thing that went through his mind, Am I alive? Indeed he was alive and unscathed. But he was cold and tired. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see other people again.
After some time of gathering his thoughts, and putting them into line, he gathered his stuff, and his breath, and began to make his way back into the direction he remembered the camp to be. And, thankfully, he saw an orange glow in the distance.
Fire. From a campfire.
Getting closer, it was becoming obvious that his friends had noticed that he had disappeared, and later he would find out that he was gone for hours. And that panicked his friends, they were so close to calling the forest rangers. They had been calling his name for what felt like forever.
And when he walked back to camp, his friends were so relieved that they could potentially yell at him and cry for wandering off, but he had no idea how to explain what happened, he was cold and tired, yet still slightly disconnected from reality. All they knew is that he had been through something rough, as they saw the state he was in, and now he was safe.
Something so... unnaturally pleasant that happened was bound to stay in his mind forever and would become a great story to tell others. ...that would be when he has gotten over it.
He knew that this would never happen again, which he was grateful for, yet... sad. Because he knew that he would never see you again, and he was thankful that you never did any harm to him, you were just curious. But at home, in his room where you can see all sorts of wendigo-related memorabilia in his videos, one of them secretly symbolised you. Viewers would spot the new figure, but they would never truly know the story behind it, only Isaiah.
Something he thought would never exist, did.
And he will always be bewitched.
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IT'S FINALLY FINIIIIISHED!!!!
#ELS RECOMMENDATIONS#gender neutral reader#wendigoon x reader#wendigoon my beloved#government sanction weaponised femboys#...yeah#wendigoon#writers block is a bitch#would you like some more dinner little jimmy? well here you go#i was walking home when he uploaded on his second channel im so happy#AND IT WAS PAST MIDNIGHT WHEN HE UPLOADED ON HIS MAIN I COULDNT WATCH IT FOR HOURS#god writing this was a nightmare it was so hard to get motivation#self indulgence at its finest#again#rambling in the tags again ;-;
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neil young birthday tomorrow.....
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i love the new thing with saying "i want their gender" about a person because it emphasizes just how much of a social construct gender really is and how, in fact, everyone has their own individual "gender" through their choices of how they present themselves.
#magpie thoughts#its like. two people can identify as a ''woman'' but the way they present their gender identity can be COMPLETELY different#and how they view the identity can be fundamentally different as well#there is no right or wrong way to be any gender and so there is not a set or concrete amount of genders; nor any set or concrete lines#-between them#idk. its midnight and my brain is dead so this might not be making sense hsjfbfjfb#gender is WEIRD and im TIRED. goodnight#until tumblr fixes whatever weird glitch is in this update i will be writing all my posts in my notes app and then copy-pasting them here#queer tag#gender tag
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Himeru this Himeru that. What about Hermeru. Happy last day of womens month✊️
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this week (this is my attempt at journali-fying my blog)
- ive been complimented the most since this new school started
- met an old close friend i don’t talk to anymore because he transferred to a boys school notorious for raising rich and arrogant assholes when we were 14 and changed drastically after that (i u-turned instantly when i saw him but pretended not to recognise him even when made eye contact like ten times but he still waved at me at the end so it’s okay)
- got a dm from my old classmate to catch up (actually ive spoken to so many old friends recently my heart is so warm and full ❤️❤️)
- but have also realised this clique leader doesn’t like me and she’s influenced one of her members to be afraid of speaking to me too even though we we chatted in a shared class the week before
- realised that im not the only one who noticed the clique leader being hostile ish towards me 😍😍 (anyway my friends and i all agree that it is much better to be the bullied than the bully so i don’t care and i’m grateful she doesn’t like me because i don’t want to interact with her anyway)
- omg but also the girl that was scared to talk to me in front of the clique leader was so nice to me in our shared class like… the first time i tried speaking to her when the leader was there she was so dismissive and kept backing up when i was trying to help her with her project but the next day we clicked so well again and she kinda waited for me after class but idk i told her i needed to stay and ask the teacher if my submission went through and then we accidentally met each other in the lift again and she complimented my hair colour but we just awkwardly stood away from each other after that because we were texting our own friends ro meet for lunch
- actually half of them are nice and i can talk to i just think Thing One is the common… idk fear (??) here because lots of people even those from other classes have pointed this out
- oh and i managed to compliment this girl who’s style ive wanted to compliment for WEEKS because i love casually dropping compliments but she was so pretty and intimidating with good style so it took me time but i did it
#i was so mad on the way to school on thursday#was actually about to skip class too#because i was exhausted and mad from how the clique girl dismissed me the day before#and i was reminding myself of all the negative things that has happened since school started#and i was like wtf if she doesn’t want to speak to me in public because she’s ashamed or whatever then i don’t want to speak to her AT ALL#but it turned out okay#but idk left a bad taste in my mouth when i realised Thing One was the common denominator#but tbh idrc because i just want to get through school#but omg i got my overdue period the next day and had the worst cramps ever#suffered through our coldest (24 degrees celsius) class#with CRAMPS#horrible horrible cramps#wait but let me promote menstruheat rq theyre like 24h heat packs you can stick to the inside of your pants#and they work so well i promise#and then i had an econs project after where one of my friends pointed out an incident where Thing One was hostile towards me#and i was like omg i didn’t wanna talk shit about her but you noticed too??#because i was actually really humiliated by that incident tbh#also this is so petty but Thing One took a pic with a plaque or whatever that had my country’s name on it (i’m a minority ethnicity here)#and i got so mad#or like disgusted idk#that’s MY country step away from it rn#anyway its past midnight rn and im like doing my econs work 😞😞#and studying the different types of theatre stages or whatever so#life is silly#personal
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fuck i forgot 2 text my friend back she's telling me abt her new boyfriend and i'm like NOPE sorry way to busy posting porn on the internet ttyl
#i will text her back 2moro i think. its past midnight now#she keeps. its the second time shes shown me a picture of him like 'well /i/ think he's very handsome' like#babes we met on a women only dating site idk what u want from me here#pls do not seek validation in your taste in men from me i am NOT the bitch for it#running theory for me re: attraction to men is i think i'm somewhere on the demi spectrum for guys? so yeah i'm not gonna have anything#2 say abt your boyfriend i dont know. but my opinion doesnt matter!! if you think he's cute good for u girl#ALSO i will reply to fic comments 2moro i am too sweepy but ily#she speaks
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