#its weird when i don't remember reblogging them recently

[sirwadewilsonfromimgur]

Deadpool & Wolverine: Scenes from an unconventional marriage.

[Submitted to Poolverine Week Day 7 SFW domesticity / Domestic life]

Pre script authors note: The following was inspired by a few conversations between @icarusredwings and myself, part of which was a scenario that i thought would be funny... if this is your first story reading one of my AUs (first of all. woof, you picked a long one) Secondly. The boys have money, Peter works for them as an assistant and logistics expert. They live in Kansas city because of Wade's crusade against anti-mutant GMO corn... go back and read KoKC for details. Link below.

Scene 3

Kansas City Missouri Earth-10005 (2031-ish)

When two murderous Canadian mercenaries love each other very much...

Part 1 : paternal instincts.

Our scene opens up where most of our scenes open with this author.

The 19th floor of 700 W 31st Street Kansas City Missouri.

(the building known to its Tennants as One Park Place tower)

International headquarters of Malfeasance and Fraud Mitigation (Mercs for Money) LLC. And home to Logan and Wade Howlett-Wilson.

And Blind Al don't forget her! And Mary puppens I'll stab you if fucking forget about her. By the way Brace yourself folks this might be a crossover AU one-shot non canonical story.

Wade was talking to himself as usual having left the office after chain smoking a pack of Lucky Strikes and going over Financials with Peter and Althea. The business part of the business of killing was a huge pain in the ass. Logan insisted he take an active role beyond just killing. It was hell on his undiagnosed autism/ADHD.

Fuck Excell, fuck spreadsheets, fuck shopping around for cheaper ammo to save a dollar, this Is a Winchester house we're not buying off brand bullets from eastern Europe!

But it was finally over and he could enjoy the rest of his day. Which he intended on doing as he walked towards Logan sitting on the couch in the livingroom. He had a Nintendo Switch and was playing Mario 3 online.

He'd taken a liking to playing games ever since Laura convinced him to play Smash Brothers with her a few years ago.... Wade loved that he'd picked up what many especially the Wolverine himself would consider an unserious hobby.

he sucked at it, but he was trying to improve. He had recently beat Zelda: link to the past, but he still couldn't beat Laura at Smash Bros. Wade sat down next to him with a thud.

You get all your work done for the day princess? He asked without looking up from his screen.

I did. It was terrible. I hate it. Please don't make me do it again. Wade gently puts a hand on Logans thigh, not necessarily with amorous intentions. It's more like trying to ground himself after a stressful afternoon by connecting with his Wolverine.

Sorry bub, but you gotta learn about the actual business. It'll give you a better perspective before you go spending money. Besides its our company, and it's more than shooting fools. Now, if you gimme a sec I'll find a stopping point. These little fucking turtles have been giving me hell.

Thier Koopas penut, stomping on turtles, would be cruel. As for Al and Peter, they are the best at what they do... and what they do isn't very interesting.

Logan chuckles at Wade's bad joke, turning off his game. You smell like cigarettes bub, you know those are bad for your health. *sniffs* lucky strikes.... you know I remember when lucky strike was a plug tobacco brand (chewing tobacco bound together with molasses the 1870s were a weird time)

That sounds disgusting Penut... also I think smoking is the least of my problems. You didn't have to stop playing your game I just Wanted to be near you. But speaking of, did I tell you I was in a video game once?

Logan was accustomed to this line of thought at this point, they were in a film, a fanfic on Tumblr, a comic book, a novel... a video game was new... he couldn't see the audience, as far as he knew his choices were his own. But he didn't immediately dismiss Wade like he had in the past, because when he said things like this, there was a thread, especially if Wade said something ominous. He knew to clock it and treat the situation with care.

You were? Tell me about it bub. He said this as he pulled Wade onto his lap, feeling the need for a little cuddling while his garrulous lover regaled him with a meandering story... he liked it.

Well Penut it was the far off year of 2013, my voice sounded like Nolan North at the time and not the buttery Ryan Reynolds tones I have today. It was before the Deadpool movies and I didn't have the budget for a Hollywood actor.

Logan shook his head in mock understanding, not understanding what he meant by having a different voice at all.

Anyway, cutting past the tutorial levels, I remember Cable was there, and so we're you. Well, not you, one of you. Ya' know.

Logan gave Wade a little squeeze at the mention of Wade's ex, Cable... something about that guy made him feel possessive, not a normal reaction for a pair that generally regarded themselves as polyamorous. It probably had something to do with him being (this universe's) Scotts son which is a situation that's weird on its face before someone explained time travel to you and once that was done Logan would have to open a whole can of worms regarding trauma of love lost, parallel universes, and his Scott...

he pushed it to the back of his brain as Wade told his story, how he went on an adventure and that other Logan. he even let me fly the Blackbird... this, of course, resulted in disaster... he crashed it, leading in to a light explanation of how his and that Logans relationship was... tense.

Wade went on about traipsing through the ruins of Genosha a totally real place Logan was unfamiliar with...

there was no Genosha or Krakoa in his universe, and by far the largest difference between the world's he'd noted. It was a land populated by mutants that had suffered a brazen attack by humans... a story Logan was all too familiar with. It's a story he's been doing his best to live with. Pulling himself out again he focuses on Wade's story, he'd mentioned a musical number with Lady Death (who was not played by Aubrey Plaza at the time wade lamented) and then discovery that it hadn't been Agatha all along but Mister Sinister at the heart of the problem.

He'd planned on destroying Wade's favorite taco restaurant along with the rest of the world by *checks notes* exhuming mutant bodies to obtain their unique DNA.... or something. It was almost 20 years ago penut so it's fuzzy.

An injustices Wade simply could not stand for. He personally killed several of Sinisters clones in the process of ultimately stopping his evil scheme before confronting him at Magneto's old Citadel where he'd been hiding out...

I squashed him like a bug under the boot of an old Sentinel, Penut! The big purple kind like from X-men 97! Anyway, the credits role and because of licensing issues, the game is only available to play on hard disk, and it's expensive.

Logan nodded his head (again) in tacit agreement with this statement as if he completely understood *he didn't* kissed Wade on the cheek and held him. He was about to suggest that he and Wade go for a walk when Wade jumped off his lap

Oh, Penut! Talking about Sinister reminds me of something!

Wade ran across the room and headed towards the large storage room they kept some sundry items in, the Christmas tree, seasonal stuff and a few boxes of Wade's "crap" that he couldn't get rid of. Mind you this wasn't Wolverines terminology, Wade had written in red crayon on the boxes Crap. Out of curiosity Logan had followed behind him and was standing in the door watching Wade feverishly dig through boxes, opening them taking stuff out and Searching for something.

Amongst the random objects was a furry red doll with a grande attached to it. Logan quickly picks it up.

Wade, why dose this doll have a live Fucking grande attached to it... I thought we agreed all explosives stay at the safe house not the condo!

Oh, tickle me Hell-mo, in fairness Penut I forgot he was even in that box... I forgot what was in a lot of these boxes, trinkets, souvenirs... grenades... apparently. I just knew i didn't want to throw these things away. He rifled through another box as he said this and pulled out a large gray rectangular device with buttons nobs and a small readout display.

FOUND IT! c'mon Penut, I'll clean this up later. I want to show you something. Wade rushed out of the storage room as fast as he'd ran in, Logan followed behind exploding doll in hand. He knew he'd better just entertain whatever it was Wade wanted to show him. Besides, he is kinda cute when he's excited about something.

Ok Princess, what about that box has got you so worked up.

Wade sets it on the marble counter.

Sinister was a sick fuck, and certifiably evil... but he was a brilliant geneticist and created several devices for harvesting DNA... I, lightly acquired a few things.

You stole shit.

I WASN'T PAID! so yeah after killing the fucker FOR FREE and distracting the X-men who conveniently showed up after I did all the work, I rooted around the citadel where he'd set up shop. I took this! He said pointing at the device. He then proceeded to pull out an instruction manual seemingly from thin air and read it out loud.

This device can take the DNA of two or more individuals regardless of gender and re-combine it to make a new life.

Logan was taken aback, not only by the inference that this device could assist them in having biological children together... but because Wade fucking read something out loud flawlessly without having to sound it out...

Bub, you can read today?

I guess so... but I'll probably only be able to write in Mandarin tomorrow. So enjoy it while you can. But to the point at hand, Penut, I want to have your babies. And with this I believe we can... with the help of a surrogate.

Sweet heart (Logan said as gently as possible in an attempt to spare his feelings) I don't think we're ready for kids, especially little ones.

Logan held up the explosive doll as exhibit A for his argument.

Wade responds by just looking at Logan, big comic book accurate blue eyes staring right in to his soul, Logan could see the tears welling up....

Jesus, bub! Stop! You emotionally manipulative little cunt! Logan broke his gaze and looked out the window pretending to be interested in downtown...

Look Princess, I know how badly you want a kid of your own... you told me all about it.

But you've got some steps to take before I consider being a father to a new life with you... firstly who's gonna surrogate? And don't tell me Ness, she's a good friend but that's asking a lot of her and don't be all depressed if she tells you no.

Secondly... and I can't believe I'm saying this... but if you want me to even flirt with the Ideas Wade, we gotta make this house a safe place and... buy one of the units next to us to expand into so the kid has a room... and you gotta get a safe for the guns and a locked case for the swords. we can't have them accessible to a toddler... no more keeping a Glock in the silverware drawer, no more LadySmith revolvers under the couch cushions. No more cocain in the pantry labeled "flour" in mason jars.

Well... that doesn't sound like a No, Penut... or should I say... Daddy?

Logan cringed at Deadpool, calling him daddy in a decidedly nonsexual tone. It didn't sound normal.

If the Wolverine wasn't sure about this, he probably shouldn't have given Wade a goal with clearly defined parameters...

Wade had hyper focus and devoted himself to baby proofing the condo, weapons secured. Drugs removed (by consuming them, Logan didn't say he couldn't have fun)

He negotiated buying the vacant one bedroom unit that was on the other side of their office walls, blew out said wall, and had contractors built two new large bedroom suites with bathrooms. He installed a Cypher lock on the office door and... yes, the golden girls were behind glass in a locked display cabinet. Something he could punch through should he need to defend the house quickly.

He did this all with his personal funds. Everything was on course... accept finding a surrogate... believe it or not, Vanessa wasn't actually Wade's first choice. He didn't want to ask her to commit to the inconvenience, especially since he didn't want to interfere with her relationship with Dermot... also the touchy subject of asking the woman you wanted to start a family with to hay... help me start a family with my husband it'll be fun! No... Vanessa would be a fun aunt, but he knew he'd have to seek out the services of a professional or something.

They did find an agency that helped them meet with potential surrogates. It wasn't cheap.

A situation that was more complicated than taxes, filing out mountains of paperwork. Then they had to actually meet these women. Money they had... interview skills not so much. Especially when a few walked in, saw Wade's face, and immediately walked out. The best ones screamed, the worst one thought she was on one of those terrible reality prank shows...

Logan despised the nights after such interviews. Holding Wade as he wept.

Logan... what if my own baby thinks I'm scary? What if they don't want to be seen with me or worse they're bullied at school for being the son of a monster... *loud sobs* because it's true, I am a monster. A murderer, a war criminal whose outside is exactly who he is on the inside... a freak.

Logan had gotten Wade to believe him after years when he said he loved him, his scars added depth and character and that he thought his husband was the sexiest man to walk the earth, the void, and the multivers.

But that only applied to him, others... well, given how the interviews went, it was a blow to his ego.... and his mental health. It'd be days before he got Wade to come back out from under his hood or mask. But that was a problem for tomorrow. But for tonight, Wade had entered a shutdown for lack of a betterword... Logan held him, fed him, got in the large shower with him, washed him, and went to bed, tucked in the large bed he held his beloved who had curled himself up in to a ball.

Tomorrow will be better Princess, we'll find the right person, and I promise any baby of ours will love you and be kind. Because that's who you are, really on the inside bub... you forget it. But as long as I've known you, your heart has been in the right place in the end, and you're kinder than I am by a country mile.

The sleep that night was thankfully dreamless for the both of them.

The next morning, Logan made a simple breakfast of eggs and toast for both of them. Putting the bottles of salsa and sriracha near Wade plate... he looked at the clock. 6:30 am

Meaning it was 7:30 in New York. He'd try and give Vanessa a call in half an hour knowing she'd be up by then for sure. He needed to commiserate with someone who understood Wade like he did.

The phone call he had that morning was surprising. He'd let Vanessa know what'd been going on with the agency... and the drama... he was shocked to learn she didn't even know they were considering having a baby.

Wade, didn't tell you?

No Red's not said a word of this to me, I'm honestly confused as to why you goofballs didn't ask me first.

Well, after yesterday, I might as well be the one to ask. Would you consider it Ness?

I... hmmm.... tell you What, this isn't exactly a phone conversation, and it sounds like I need to have a chat with my buddy... I can be there this weekend if you can help a sister out with at ride.

*Logan scoffs playfully* sure I'll have peter send out a G700 to pick you up.

Oooo spoil me, Daddy she retorted.

Logan gaged... gross Ness.

She cackled at getting the old man's goat for a solid minute before they finally wrapped up the call, Logan could definitely see why she and Wade had clicked.

It was another down day, no jobs scheduled, they could afford to take longer breaks and be choosy with contracts. Althea had the money making money with a few business development investments, the purpose of which was to launder money and pay taxes, the fringe benefit being they actually produced a small regular incom. (Please stop talking about the intricacies of the business, haven't I suffered enough!)

A short walk away on the other side of Broadway is the Penn Valley off leash dog park. Mary loved being able to run about and the boys liked that they didn't have to worry about her getting hit by a car... not that it would have affected her for long, but they both knew regenerating is something you'd rather not do if you didn't have to. Wade was indeed tightly tucked into a hoodie hiding his face as best he could. Logan would address that later. They got to the dog park gate without issue, Wade actively avoiding any other people they saw on the way.

Logan unhooked the leash from the ring on her doggy vest, and she was off like a bat out of hell to do whatever it is Dogpools do when they have a whole field to run in. He pulled out a cigar from his pocket case. A Cohiba, a real one from Cuba, smuggled it himself from a job that took them to the Caribbean. He carefully cut the tip with a specialized Xikar cutter, lit the end of a cedar strip, and used the growing flame from it to light his cigar... a lot of ritual for something you literally burn. But Logan found it calming, he also needed one of his strongest cigars to help cover up the smell of the dog park... even if everyone picked up after their dog (they most certainly didn't) the smell was not great for Logan.

We should both probably cut back on the smoking when the babies get here penut... he said this as he pulled out a cigarette... they didn't do much for either of them chemically. Wade just enjoyed the habit, something comforting about it... plus if Wolvy was gonna have a cigar, it made him feel like it was a couples activity. Doing a mundane thing together was one of Wade's favorite things.

I spoke to Ness this morning.

Oh, I hope she's doing well. I need to call her.

I wouldn't worry about it, she'll be here this weekend... Wade, sweetheart... why didn't you tell Ness about our plans, she seemed a little hurt you didn't tell her.

She's traveling a thousand miles, probably to tell me off. I think she's more than hurt if she's coming out here... you know Penut... you said that I shouldn't get my hopes up with her... and I kinda took it to heart... Also I have my own hangups about it... Firstly being how insensitive it sounds on it's face. "Hay Ness, if you and Dermot aren't using it, can we rent your womb? Only 9 months, first month deposit up front!"

But more importantly, for the better part of a decade, Vanessa has been pulled into the misadventures of Deadpool. I love her (platonically). I'm glad we were able to stay friends... but she really doesn't need to get wrapped up in my problems, schemes, and drama... again. Not at my request anyway. A big issue I have is personal, I was going to start a family with her. Asking felt... regressive. But also to the point, her proximity to me has gotten her kidnapped and killed before. I still feel guilty about it.

You also traveled the multivers to save this reality for her, also you traveled back in time and saved her bub.

Aint you ever seen endgame. That's not how time travel works. Somewhere out there, in some other time line, Vanessa is still dead, and it's my fault. This is just a branched timeline.

Since when has the timeline ever made Since bub!

*Loud gasp* PENUT DID YOU JUST BREAK THE FOURTH WALL?

I don't think so, bub... I don't see the people, but I remember you trying to explain how the "other me" time traveled in 2014, and now there aren't Sentinel's running death camps. That the timeline changed and converged.

This is no different Princess, don't think about it too hard, you said. So I'm telling you the same thing. Don't fret about it bub, Vanessa is alive... and she will be here Saturday.

You're too good for me, Penut. I Don't deserve you.

No, you don't... he said as he picked a small plastic bag out of his pocket. You literally stole me. But I love you anyway. Now go pick up the massive shit Mary just took. I refuse for us to be the kind of people who just leave it.

Wade took the bag.

It's probably Stockholm syndrome Penut.

Vanessa arrived Saturday afternoon, in a Falcon 900LX. It was the best Peter could arrange on short notice... not that Vanessa knew the difference between a G700 and a Falcon, she was just happy not to be on Southwest. Dermot was with her... the man was almost the antithesis of Wade, He liked Hiking and he was quite to the point of being accused of being shy. Dry witted... and as he'd recently discovered when he went to the gun range with the boy's last 4th of July... a lousy shooter. But he was stable, kind, and good-natured. Definitely willing to go along to get along with a lot of Wade's antics at parties. He knew why Vanessa had come, and he was perfectly fine with it. It didn't interfere with his plans at all. He was a slow burner and Vanessa hadn't indicated she was in any hurry to tie the knot. But that's a story for another time.

Wade had gone the extra mile to spoil them. A black limousine complete with champagne greeted them on the tarmac and whisked them off to casa de chaos.

She walked in the door like she owned the place, dropping her bag by the door. She walked to the dining room table and sat...

Come over here and sit with me boys. We got a lot to talk about and I'd like to waste no time getting down to business.

Oh, so direct. Wade said in a catty tone high enough to indicate he was joking as he winked

We're gonna gloss over the fact that you didn't involve me with your family planning from the start... but I hear you've had a hard time landing a surrogate. she cut eyes at Wade as she said this. Wordlessly airing all of her hurt feelings and grievances regarding not even being told Wade and Logan were trying to have a baby. Something one would think a best friend would be told

I'd like to make an offer. On the condition that despite you two being my best friends... I aint doing this for free.

Oh, if that's the case Ness then you gotta interview like all the rest. He said this in a joking tone but she didn't miss a beat.

Ok Red, I've been substance free for over 20 years, I don't smoke. I promise not to drink or eat selfish for the entire pregnancy, and I'm one of two people in this room who've seen you naked and didn't require drugs and therapy after.

Yeah... my dick dose look like a peperoni somone forgot in the air fryer.

And your sack looks like someone took a crown royal bag, filled it with puss, and ran it through the middle of a hog pin.

Wade smiles. And laughs a little...

Ok, Ness. you got the job.

Great, I knew you'd see it my way. She proceeded to write a number on a piece of paper and slid it across.

That's my price. Also, Dermot and I are gonna be long-term hous guests for obvious reasons. Convenient since he can do his job remotely....

Wade looked at the number, showed it to Logan, and smirked... I think the both of you could retire for this much money... but nothing is too good for my baby. I am going to have to kill several people for this.

Bub, we might have to overthrow a government.

Pff like that's something new.

Lucky you Ness, you get to be the first person to stay in one of the new rooms... and tangentially responsible for a potential war crime! He grinned like the devil at her

---

Shortly after the contract was finalized, Vanessa and Dermot moved in, and it was a short trip to New York... the boys provided a sample and Mister Sinisters machine to Dr. Henry McCoy... who was fascinated by the whole thing (he later wrote an entire dissertation on it) he helped with the procedure... the result of which was one Vanessa Carlysle pregnant with the Biological child of the combined DNA of Deadpool and Wolverine...

The following 9 months went surprisingly smoothly (apart from one small incident with a serial killer, but that's a chapter in the Noir, we will worry about it later)

The day came... Vanessa went into labor, early in the morning. Thankfully, it seemed like it would be free of complications. meaning that Wade and Vanessa both got their wish for thus day. The baby was born at home.

Wade had an aversion to hospitals. Bad memories of cancer diagnosis, and a general fear of strange men in white lab coats. Not every man mind you. He was cool with Beast and other people he knew personally and he knew a few scientists and doctors... Logan wasn't averse to hospitals apart from the smells of disinfectant and illness mixed together. Vanessa was a bit new age for her justification, why bring life into the world in a place so many go to die, on top of it being uncomfortable, and expensive.

As a result, the midwife was called arrangements were made and the new life was soon ushered into the world. They say history doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. Like his father Logan, who was born at home to an affluent family in a room where he'd spend his childhood, this baby was born in the penthouse of a tower to affluent parents in a room he'd inhabit well in to his 20s.

Vanessa wasn't in labor long. No birth is a walk in the park, but she would tell you it was pretty easy and without drama compared to others. She pushed one last time, and he was out. Vanessa did get the honor of holding him first after the midwife cleaned him up... Logan couldn't resist the urge; the umbilical cord was carefully cut with an adamantium claw blade. He had been offered a scalpel for the record.

Hay there, little guy... it's a pleasure to meet you.

She held him for 5 minutes before she called Wade over.

I know someone who's been waiting a very long time for you... I think it's time you should finally meet him

Vanessa handed the tiny bundle to Wade, who had whipped off his shirt the second Vanessa called him over. I read that skin to skin contact was beneficial to the baby. he'd said as he carefully supported the babies head and neck and brought him in closer to his chest.

Welcome to the world... I apologize for the state of it, but I have indeed waited a long time to meet you, little guy... I'm Wade, but please call me dad. Your other dad over there is the Wolverine, that makes you my Kitten. I promise you I'll do the best i can being your father. Please don't judge me too harshly.

Babe, get over here and take your shirt off.

If I had a dollar for every time you've said that to me.

So what should we name him...

You didn't think of a name already!

Logan said it was bad luck *shrugs*

But at least we got the last name sorted Howlett-Wilson 👌

Bub, hyphenated names are a pain in the ass... its not a problem for us because we rarely use our real married name for anything official... let's just give him your last name.

Wade scrunched his face with a little distaste...

Wolvy he's our baby. He should have something from both of us... I mean, besides our mental illness... that's a given.

Tell you what princess; how about we Name him James. It was my name... once, but I don't use it anymore. He can have it.

His middle name however was a much longer discussion... mostly because Wade offered several typical Deadpool options that Logan Veto'ed outright.

Thunderdick! No. Skullcursher!? God, no. James MAGNUM Wilson! That's terrible Wade...

It went on for a minute before Vanessa finally chimed in. Evan... I've always liked that name.

Well, it's a normal name. So I like it.

Works for me, Penut. Though it'd be a lot cooler if it was Danger... but that's my middle name.

Your middle name is Winston.... idiot!

Part two: the Life and Times of James E. Wilson (hope you like crossover AUs)

James's earliest memory is his father, Wade holding him, comforting him... but also crying. He vaguely remembered being at the playground, running and jumping as most toddlers do... tripping on something and skinning his knees on the sidewalk... he naturally had the reaction of crying from the pain and surprise... it wasn't until James was much older that he understood why his dad kept mumbling why aren't you healing?

It's ok, dad... you don't need to cry. I already feel better.

Even at a young age, he felt compelled to comfort someone else. To help. It broke him out of thinking about his own problems, including skinned knees...

The result of this little accident was Wade panicking. They went back to the house and grabbed the dog and his other dad. Papa (or the big bad wolf if James was misbehaving) no amount of reasoning or comments from Logan couldn't stop him or calm Wade down.

Logan Howlett-Wilson get your ass in the car and drive us to the airport right now! Were going to the Mansion to see the fucking doctor RIGHT NOW!

Logan got the message, Wade didn't forgo pet names unless he was bone chillingly serious in intention and resolve. So within minutes, they were on a jet to New York. Where James met a fuzzy blue man he liked very much despite the blood draw. That was uncomfortable, but he found the lab he was in fascinating... weather or not, this influenced his future career he couldn't fully say. But probably a little.

The news delivered to the... not so young, but definitely, new parents was not stellar... Hank had run several tests and analyzed James' DNA structure. He possessed the X-Gene, but it was dormant due to being recessive. Much like Wade he'd have to undergo profound trauma to activate it. There was no guarantee he'd come out the other end with a healing factor. It could be anything... furthermore, it was highly unethical and unthinkable to subject a child.... Wade cut him off

I know a lot of people don't think highly of me. But how fucking dare you assume I'd even entertain the idea of tormenting my child.

Easy bub, I don't think Hank was implying anything. Ya' know he gets lost in the hypotheticals. Right Hank!?

The blue man nodded in agreement.

We will just... have to be extra careful.

Wade picked James up. C'mon soldier. There's a big metal doofus ya gotta meet.

---

One particular afternoon James was sitting in his office recounting some memories with his friend Gregory. Though they had a habit of referring to each other by sir name. Wilson and House

(what a twist)

The day the two met was actually one of the few points in time that if you knew who his parents were you'd say "oh yeah, that is clearly the offspring of Deadpool and Wolverine" it was at a medical conference in New Orleans. Wilson dosn't remember the exact circumstances he'd been drinking but his father's tempers came out of him as he'd threw punches and generally effectively kicked ass at a bar brawl (Wade would have been so proud) House ever the shit stirrer jumped in and backed him up. Truly his fathers son, meeting your best friend as a result of incredible violence... in a bar.

House had actually just finished telling Wilson about his most recent case, yet another patient that had been previously misdiagnosed as having lupus. It was Hashimoto's disease if you're curious. The interactions he'd had with the patient made him think she'd been being neglected, bare minimum socially isolated... he recognized his own surliness in others. It resulted in a dressdown of her parents that he was certain would result in an office visit with Cuddy and detention after school.

High-school wasn't a fun time for Gregory...

You know it wasn't exactly fun for me either.

From the age of 11 to the time he left for med school, he was escorted by armed gaurds to and from school. Growing up in Kansas city, he'd gone to Pembroke Hill School, a private school that specialized in STEM that's tuition cost as much as a new car annually... he was one of only two kid's that went to that school that arrived with a security detail, not however the only one that arrived in a limousine. The other kid was the child of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. They weren't friends... he didn't really have friends.

Aww poor little rich boy

House chided at him

At least you didn't get shoved into a locker...

Which was true. He didn't have friends but he didn't have enemies either. The closest thing he had to a best friend was his Grandma Al and Mr. Yoshitomi his driver/lead bodyguard. he was allowed to call him Yoshi...

The man was clearly retired Yakuza, and like his father Logan, tough on the outside but secretly a teddy bear. The truth is Wilson found himself alone at home, too. Apart from Al... but she mostly sat him down in front of a TV and fed him before going outside to smoke...

so apart from weekends, he was alone. Occasionally, he'd see his big sister Laura. She was frequently busy herself being the "official" Wolverine of the Xmen. He liked it when she brought him comics, fictionlized accounts of the adventures of his dad in the past, and his big sister... he knew his dad's loved him. No one could argue that... but What had started as two lovers in New York trying to make rent money by doing the only thing they were good at; picking up random jobs on the dark web (Killing mostly) in the mid 2020s morphed into a private security firm in Kansas City that rivaled Black Water and the (fucking) Pinkertons by the 2040s.

They were busy, and it did provide him a comfortable life without student loans or want for any material thing... But from 11 to 18, it was him Al his sister Ellie who was always off doing her own thing (he wished they were closer) and what had to be the world's oldest dog. She's still alive, actually. The dog loved him and was rarely not by his side when he was home (because all deadpools love their babies) Althea however was not, she was a chain smoker and heavy drug user until the day she died.

how that woman lived to be 115 is fucking beyond me

She lived long enough to see (metaphorically) Wilson graduate medical school. It was the last time he'd seen her. He moved away and started his residency in New Jersey. Wade had sent a private plane as well as several veiled threats to the Dean of medicine at the time to ensure Wilson had the time off to attend the funeral.

Wilson... I gotta ask, why did you have armed guards?

Oh! Funny story when I was 10. I was kidnapped once

(Exactly once I made sure of that)

It's true. He was heading home from school. He made it to the driveway of the tower he called home when some very ill-informed gangsters decided to kidnap the son of a rich man... they didn't do their resurch as to who's kid exactly, just figured they'd get a ransom...

In fairness on paper Wade and Logan weren't Wade and Logan, they were two random dudes who ran a lucrative business and weren't shy about showing off.

This leads to probably the second most traumatic memory Wilson had... not necessarily the kidnapping. They had actually treated him surprisingly well.

What shocked him was seeing his father Logan covered in blood kicking down the door of the room he'd been kept in. He'd never seen his father in the tight yellow and brow suit before. Or the mask... he had taken it off when he clocked James, but that only made it worse. The entire bottom of his father's face was coated in blood, like he'd gored a man (he actually had ripped open one of the gangsters throat with his teeth) the blood on his face was cut clear with two rivulets of tears. What James didn't know is they weren't just tears of joy seeing his son, but also tears of relief. If anything had happened to James, the Genocide he and his husband were going to commit in response would have made his incident in his own universe look like childs play.

[Image below: Scary dad privileges]

---

Rebellious teenage years were impossible. You couldn't steal weed from your blind grandma and hid it in your room, not from the nose of the Wolverine.

Do you know what this shit dose! It makes you fucking stupid is what it does, and your dad and I aren't raising a fucking idiot!

Logan never hit him. But he was scary when he yelled and loud... if he was really pissed those claws popped out. Never an actual threat but fucking scary. The only person in the house that actually got stabbed was Wade... and much to James's chagrin, he was pretty sure his dad liked it.

It wasn't the worst childhood, and it wasn't a bad life. Wilson became an oncologist partly because he was fascinated by his own father. The man who's cancer actually kept him alive. He had success, failures... it's like his dad said "what dosn't kill you makes you bad at intimacy kido" 3 ex wives later he finally understood what he meant by that.

All the events of his life that you know about that happened on the show. They happened more or less details and name's changed, cousins were not blood related etcetera. The ending however was quite different. Wilson and House lived to an advanced age. House did indeed fake his own death some time in 2069 and assumed a new life... but luckily for him, his "buddy" Wilson had a dad that knew how to get people new and interesting identities.

They had actually shown up one day at the condo... parking their motorcycles right in front of the door (no one dare question whatever the fuck Deadpools kid wanted to do at that building, Wade had long since put the HOA under his thumb) Wade welcomed his son in. Helped them out. House got a new first name... also, shortly after the Althea Sanderson memorial cancer research wing was built, Wilson found himself the head of Oncology at KU med hospital. Wilson never once questioned why a job was offered to him out of the blue and Wade never once questioned why Wilson and House shared a home out in Leewood.

The only other major difference is all his life when he could he returned home to the condo for the holidays. Where he'd see his seemingly ageless fathers and sisters. He loved his family Logan, Wade, Laura, and Ellie (we'll talk about her in another story.) Which is just as well. He never had children of his own, and after your 3rd failed marriage, you kinda give up on the idea of expanding your family; other than House occasionally tagging along. But until his dying day, his dad dotted on him. And bragged, boy did he brag especially to the Xmen when he had a chance to rub in their face his son the successful Doctor! (Suck on that Jean!)

But for Wade, the day did finally come that his immortality became a curse... with every Christmas, Thanksgiving, and spring break that came, James got older. Wade was at his retirement party, He remembers loving Dr. House's wildly inappropriate speech and toast. A man after his own heart, but after the laughter subsided, he realized that his boy, who was graciously receiving a gold watch, had lines in his face and gray hair.

The years kept coming... Wilson got older, he got sick... and his mortality came to pass.

If the universe brought these starbound lovers together for any particular reason. It was for this moment, Wade loved two things Intensely, his Wolverine and his children... but the Death of his first son broke him. Logan clinged on to Wade physically and emotionally. Doing everything he could to hold him together. It was many years before Wade could be called Ok. It was another couple hundred years before he even considered the idea of raising more children.

It should be noted that James was the only one to be fully genetically Logan and Wade's. He was special, one of a kind.

Wade carried a portion of James's ashes with him in a small locket around his neck where it stayed for countless millenia. In dangerous situations he'd even cut himself and put it under his skin so it wouldn't get lost...

Epilogue:

The lady at the end of the road sits in her ethereal other world. Surrounded by various time keeping devices dimly lit by candles flames that don't consume. She pulled out a pocket watch and a ledger. She had an appointment to keep. This one was a special case. The dark lady had the power to send out shades, to be everywhere at once. But this appointment she'd handle directly. She carried out her appointed task kindly but usually without emotion. She was inflexible and didn't bargain or despite what you may have heard play chess or gamble for time or souls....

Wade was there... hospice care was set up about a week ago, and he sat by James side as the ravage of time and biology took its toll. By regular human standards Dr. James Wilson lived a good life, a long life at that. He was 97 years 6 months 2 weeks and 5 days old the morning she came. Logan had been with him the entire night before Wade had taken his shift early that morning so Logan could get some sleep. At about 10 am in the guise of a hospice nurse, she walked into the room, Wade was no fool. Only one person still alive (if you could call her alive) looked like that... He knew why she was there. He hadn't seen her in a very long time.

I see we're sticking with the Aubrey Plaza look... tears started welling up in his eyes. He looked at James in the bed beside him Despite looking down at the face of an old man, Wade still saw his baby. His son.

I thought you'd like this look, it's definitely more pleasant than most. If it's any consolation, Wade... I'm sorry I have to do this.

I haven't seen you in over 100 years. Not even the times I've died lately. Haven't seen you since the time I jumped out of an airplane into a volcano after Vanessa dumped me. Now you show up! I know why you're here.

The tears were streaming down Wade's face. Hot on his cheeks, his eyes red. He looks at her pleadingly.

Please, take me instead. Please, Lady Death. Leave my baby alone. Please, I beg you, take me.

Oh, Wade... My love. It has caused me great sorrow to not see you all these years. But don't you know? I can't take you even if I wanted to. You and Logan have woven yourself in the fabric of the universe. You and him are part of Eternity. I can't take you only, Entropy can take you. probably shortly before he takes me... even death has a death.

I know this is hard. I beg you to forgive me... but it's James's time to go. But because I love you. I waited as long as I could, he should have passed before you woke up this morning. But now you have an opportunity to say goodbye...

She moved to the bed and touched James's hand. He sat up and looked at his father.

Why are you crying, dad?

He stood up, out of the bed. Wade jumped out of his chair and embraced him tightly.

Oh, my sweet Kitten. Im so sorry. Please forgive your old man.

Wade sobs for a while before he can talk again...

I remember the day you were born... I loved you, I held you. I swore I'd burn down the world to protect you... but I can't protect you anymore...

Dad, I Don't understand. What's going on.

That's unfortunately my job to explain... but it'd be easier to show you...

She points at the bed; James looks down and to his surprise, he sees... himself. Drained of color, unmoving.

Dr. James Wilson, you have lived your life in service of others. A life well spent. But now is the time to leave that life... I'm sorry

Dad, you don't have to protect me anymore. It'll... it'll be ok.

Kitten... I love you, and though I desperately want to rage and fight and yell to keep you here longer... it's not the right thing to do. My friend here gave me an opportunity few have. I'm going to take it instead of throwing it in her face.

I love you...

I love you too Dad.

Wade hugged his son one last time, kissed him on the cheek, and led him by the hand to Lady Death.

Can... can Logan say goodbye, too?

I'm sorry Wade. I've already pushed the limits of the rules to extend this opportunity to you. I'm afraid I can't

Ok...

He looks up at James.

Your father and I will miss you. Honeybadger loved his kitten as much as I do.

I know, Dad... I know. I want you to know that I had a good life. I'm at peace. I don't want you worrying about me.

You silly boy. It doesn't matter if you're 9 or 97. I was always going to worry about you.

Lady Death extended her hand out to James.

It's time... I'm sorry, but don't be sacred. I promise where we're going isn't bad. It won't hurt.

James took her hand, and slowly took his other hand out of his father's grasp... turned and looked at him.

I love you. You were the best dad. I guess now is the time. Goodbye.

I could have been better, I'm sorry. I love you....... James... it... it might be a while before I see you again... goodbye. I'll always love you, kitten.

They walked away from Wade out the bedroom door. Wades heart broke into a million pieces as they turned to go down the hall. There was a flash of light... and he was gone.

The End.

If fan fics had credits. This would be the closing song. It is special to me... I myself would like it played at my funeral.

Below is a translation into English. Be sure to give the user who provided it a ❤️

Link to Next chapter

Branched story, this is the Noir final chapter

Branching story the next scene from and unconventional marriage is below

[saiintvalentiine]

wait you reblogged my flytrap painting that’s why your blog looked familiar :0 that’s awesome ty :3

anyways, if u have thoughts about zeemyth things this ask is basically just an invitation to talk abt them bc i have all of his lore spinning in my head constantly

WOW HI YES I REMEMBER YOUR FLYTRAP ART !!!! How are you !!! Your recent UU art looks amazing as well <3

I have been talking. NONSTOP. with @eggseventy about Zeemyth's ROOTHOUSE series. They've been transcribing all the videos over time: I went Past the Farlands, Backroom Shorts, All 3 Test Videos, and as of tonight Weird Door is the latest transcript.

And I am. SO convinced. Roothouse!Zee is some sort of robot who becomes organic through sybiosis with the hhouse. I don't even really know how to organize my thoughts about this and its super late here but I'm gonna try!

In the Weird Door video, he says it's an old world, but it doesn't really obey the rules of Minecraft. And he has a full hunger bar but doesn't heal. He comments on having food, but doesn't ever eat. AND LIKE. IT MAKES SENSE TO ME THAT IF HE WERE A ROBOT, HE WOULDN'T EAT BUT STILL TAKE DAMAGE THAT WON'T HEAL ITSELF.

But when he's in the hhouse, he gets so desperately hungry, but why is that? I think the hhouse is creeping into him, and that hunger isn't his. That's also why, to me, the cycle never fully ends; he carries a part of the hhouse with him when he gets out, and the 100 days video loops in on itself because a part of him is equally stuck in the hhouse as the hhouse is stuck in him. So then, after that, he "feels" hunger and other things that he wouldn't have before.

Which also, I think Roothouse!Zee goes on to become Redacted!Zee directly, like I think it's the same character. His second RSMP video is the one that really cements that for me, because the entity fucking with him just plays him like a fiddle using a lot of the hhouse's techniques. It plays a jukebox outside his base, it takes his dog, etc. All things that parallel moments from the Roothouse stuff in my opinion. And then you end the video and it's like. . . he's trapped in these weird hallways and stuff? So much to unpack. I need to rewatch that video.

I don't think this is canon to clarify I've just been thinking about this nonstop these last few days. An inhuman thing becomes more human, but not without suffering? In my saiintly apocrypha? yeah actually bird found in sky towel found in bathroom water found in ocean.

I hope this was interesting for you!!! Thank you for giving me the chance to yap about it <3

[andhaveapleasanttomorrow]

ive been thinking about this question for quite a while so excuse if any of my wording / terminology is subpar but does it ever piss you off when you have a post get popular? i remember seeing a few things of yours get circled around (not how i found out about your existence— stumbled upon by happenstance) & its always made me wonder how the author themselves would feel about something like that. im sure it also depends because youve been on this website for awhile but i was wondering how it made you feel (i hope the question in itself isn’t intruding or anything)

no worries. in my teens I'd sometimes get pissed, depending on the kind of post (if it was personal and people started reblogging it I'd message them telling them to delete it.) I don't have this problem anymore, both because you can turn reblogs off now and because I am generally more chill. there have been more recent posts that I got annoyed over but mainly because I don't think I should have made them in the first place (i.e. that stupid "listening to weird music doesn't make you better than other people" ask, I did end up deleting that one because the notes annoyed me.) I'm not the kind of person to get mad purely over a post getting notes or people tagging it with characters they like or something, I like seeing what people think about things, and I like being able to refresh my activity page and see new shit going on

[obscure-entity]

i feel like writing so bad. i want to write what this was about. i realized i do not like my voice, i cannot read for a long time while recording, a while back i lied about turning it into a weird video-form essay so you get bits and pieces of it now

back around whenever this was posted and it started making rounds via reblogs i noticed so so so so many tma tags i might as well listen to it and find out for myself? theres the acknowledgement

someone in one of my classes a few months ago recommended i should listen to podcasts and like. yknow what. its actually great to not have to pause a video essay and "save it" for when im actually working since its only an hour or two long. having hours of shit to listen to to shut up the thought spiral is a great prospect actually. i told them about this piece + the same tags about it, they remembered what i was talking about, and pretty much agreed it was tma "coded" that was the word

but um the "original intent" i think i halfheartedly wrote about upon submitting this was just. the overwhelm of being a sheltered child and realizing how complex the world is beyond what you grew up to believe. while having to grapple with whether good or bad things "happen for a (moral) reason" (they do not). i think i even just titled it "Overwhelm" but there's more to it than that? but that got me thinking about how this piece ties into the way that like children are especially vulnerable to nihilistic ideologies. especially when they prey on your very, very fragile and lost innocence even if it's something very simple that bursts your bubble

which i realized that doesnt make any fucking sense to someone else because why is the sky eating the lamb.

so i had already talked about overwhelm right. the world is complex etc. everything is owned by someone else, there is no way to evade the system you are growing into, you must find some way to attempt having the same experiences as everyone else, you are dependent on pre-existing rules otherwise you are deprived, and it just. boils down to responsibility. what if you dont fit that expectation or are just so awfully afraid or untrained to. im pretty sure i tried to make the lamb jump up as if to greet a friend despite looking so dangerous and thats just. it. sometimes if you don't feel suited to the world around you and even if its not Ideal you make friends with "the idea of" scary things and death. you kind of submit to them because they seem more forgiving. this piece feels like it was taken moments away from these two collapsing and melting into strands of color before melding into one

^ i had said "original intent" earlier but it makes more sense now to tie it in as befriending the unnatural. the second meaning of this piece to me is just grandiosity. i love very large environments that seem so intimidating they would either encase you or probably just pull you so far from reality that you lose your corporeal self

anyways out of all my colored pencil pieces from last semester this one feels the most meaningful to me. thus it gets the rambling treatment. i still love it so much. i worry that someone is going to worry about me from this text but it is the exact same way i cope with things each time via just like. using my precious free time to try and forget that i have a body. it's really healing actually because i recently 2 weeks ago got to sit out in the direct hot sun for 20 minutes with no people around and some slight wind drafts and felt sincerely changed in my mindset. it occurred to me that the environment surrounding me probably loves me

[clementinecrane]

people are just randomly reblogging things from way far back in my blog, like not years far back but like at least a few weeks, and I’m just wondering how they ended up there without scrolling back super far and going through multiple pages, and if they did I mean kudos to you, but also it’s a bit startling?

[otherworldly-whump]

Casual whump and my favorite syndromes

Following up from some recent reblogs and since im back on my shit again. and by shit i mean, my soap box about causal whump dynamics, Stockholm and Lima syndrome, my love of remembering that both whumpers and whumpees are real people again. Give me whumpeers that take advantage of having a captive audience.

Whumpers who get bored or lonely when they have down time, or who realize they want someone to play a game with instead of playing alone when their resting. Give me whumpers who force their whumpee to learn how to play their favorite video games so they have someone to play with. Maybe they teach them just enough so they can push them around in game, or maybe they train them to be exactly what they need, a perfect teammate for hard content. Whumpers that teach them card games and board games because fuck does it suck to have a pile of the around the house and no one to indulge with! Whumpers who force their whumpees to watch their favorite shows, so they have someone to watch them with. Force them to learn everything about it so they have someone to ramble at about the newest episodes, someone on call to debate lore and theory with. Whumpers who teach their whumpee how to listen and ask the right questions, so when they get to excited about something and want someone to share with, they realize they dont have to wait, they can just go ramble and whumpee! Whumpers who keep their captive audience close so they always have someone to info-dump to! who during downtime or rest days just casually shares their favorite topics because why not! They're there, there still someone to share with, even if you don't see them as people their perfect listeners. And its just nice to have someone to share with on short notice whenever you need.

And hell, whumpees that are absolutely thrilled by this. It give enrichment, social interaction, putting whumper in a good mood means better days, or more affection or soft moments to rest. It means less time alone or understimmed or without an outlit. Sure its a bit weird or a bit fucked up in context but? why not embrace the short moments of reprieve or the chance to improve how whumpeer sees you and improving your treatment just a bit.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 30

The Blind Banker

"The Blind Banker"

What makes me sad about the Sherlock episodes is I don't think I'm ever going to be able to formulate any fun little games like I have for Supernatural (and may yet develop for Doctor Who). They just come up too infrequently.

I forgot how weird the cinematography in Sherlock can get. There was just this really small segment where...it felt like when a video games frame rate drops. Lasted like 10 seconds and then........like, why did you do that?

Moffat, I think, should be allowed to come up with concepts, but not be allowed to write...and especially not write female characters. This is the coldest take I may have ever had. It's just this poor museum worker...

Man, I've either skipped this episode a bunch of times or just paid far less attention during it because, while I can recall a FEW scenes and something of a general outline for the mystery, there's an HOUR AND A HALF OF STORY. And I know I can't fill in that much from memory.

Yeah, there's a life or death fight with a guy with a sword at 221B, but OMG JOHN IS ME. I prefer using the self-checkout when shopping, but because I know how. to. do. things. right., it's so frustrating when the machine doesn't cooperate. I very recently got to the end of all my scanning, everything was bagged, I was just down to PAYING and the computer decided to call for assistance. Not me, the computer, for no discernible reason. Anyway, John, I feel your pain

"I had a row with the chip and PIN machine" "You had a row?" "Sort of. It sat there and I shouted abuse." Well, now he's just me with every machine I have at work.

(Guys, we're less than 10 minutes in. I'm...extremely sorry for how long the Sherlock ones get. In my defense, this was my main obsession of the three back in the day.)

I'm sure somewhere on this website there's a gifset of Sherlock going around this office, dipping between the cubicles alongside gifs of David Tenant doing the same in Partners In Crime. I probably reblogged it back in the day (but that might have been before I really started tagging things)

Sure, some of the deductions are bullshit, but figuring out who the message was for was pretty impressive. Also, I will also never be mad at him putting the cops to shame.

Ok. I'm starting to remember, this is a smuggling ring...backed by Moriarty question mark??? I know he gets a mention at the end (sorry, we're now four weeks out from seeing him and i'm going to be ANNOYING)

--At this moment, 8:10pm, I've paused for the gazillionth time, but this time to go through the tag for the episode...and it's a shock to know that this is either THE episode with THE tight purple shirt that is the entire reason I use purple for the Sherlock titles or it's just the FIRST one with it. Omg. I've been scrolling and scrolling the tag for ages trying to find anything with that shirt in its actual color. You couldn't escape it ten years ago. Now? Nothing.

THIS shirt. God. I have to do EVERYTHING around here--

You can kind of tell that John's never done anything wrong ever in his entire life (save for the murder last episode, but even that was to defend someone who was about to be murdered-ish) by the way he didn't run the second Sherlock and the graffiti artist started running

One thing about John (and possibly just Martin Freeman) is that he really know how to yell at someone while barely raising his voice. I mean, suuuuure, is Sherlock getting attacked and nearly dying? Yeah, but John's annoyed with him.

Also, I didn't say this before, but I meant to...Sherlock's a lot better at lying to people to convince them to do things than Dean...or Sam, honestly.

Oh! Oh! Ohhhhh!! The number pairs are like...page number, word number of some book from that library book!! I'm piecing it together now!

Omg this Scotland Yard detective is insufferable. At least Lestrade knows he's outmatched and needs Sherlock's help. This guy won't believe there's a serial murderer even with three victims until Sherlock can prove it. Like won't even investigate it? At all??

I love Molly but I loathe how easily she gets played by Sherlock. How easily she's manipulated by him. The slightest compliment. Not even a compliment, honestly. First he just notices her hair is styled different, then says it suits her better like that. Dude. Stop falling for this, girl.

Look, I like Sarah and John, they're cute, but also my aro-spec ace ass could never accidentally (or not) say "good" when someone says they don't have a significant other after. ESPECIALLY if I've accused them of slacking on the job due to said non-existent partner. Good LORD.

How are you so bad at hiding that you almost get caught that easily??...No, you DID get caught that easily. John was right. You don't think anyone can compare to your massive ego, Sherlock.

You know what? The Black Lotus had every right to do what they did. The banker and the librarian were just two more in a long line of the English going to distant countries and taking shit that ain't theirs. They had every right to kill them over an artifact worth MILLIONS that the banker's secretary will now have to hide for the rest of her life.

Mrs. Hudson takes such good care of her boys.

Sorry, but if I got kidnapped and almost killed after a date where my date's roommate crashed to drag said date into solving a mystery with him, there wouldn't be a second date. There would only be my permanent 'fun fact about me.'

[flygefisk]

dont reblog, lore thoughts on the new guys so i dont forget asdfdsds

hades (green tun, he/him trans man) is some variety of petty criminal, hiding out in the orchard to get the law off his tail. only leaves the woods to pick up tools/ sell extra game/ pick up treats from that cute little bakery on the edge of town.

truffle (pink tun, she/her trans woman) runs that little bakery. she's pretty and sweet and giving and also a vampire. she makes sweets for all sorts of diets, including blood-based ones, but her goods are a treasure even for "normal" folks.

cicada (blue sd, they/it/he) is also hiding out in the orchard. theyre also a vampire! just a.. different variety. bigger, tougher. they're from somewhere Far and they don't really know how they got here, but they haven't had a proper meal in a long time.

hades is like,, a smug flirty asshole, but aloof and afraid of actual affection. truffle is incredibly patient and kind as long as she's fed recently. cicada is just kind of a big anxiety machine. all three touch starved as Fuck

i think hades gets pretty close with truffle, initially just like. "oh pretty girl maybe i can get lucky before i leave" and then he starts getting attached. visits her shop every day, brings her gifts, freezes when she pats his arm attached.

n he keeps thinking there's something following him in the woods- everyone tells him yeah, there's all kinds of weird shit out there, its probably just fishbone being an idiot tho. but he's getting freaked out. then maybe cicada tries to attack him but they're way too weak, he drags them to his camp and goes to truffle in a panic.

uhh vampire bonding? then gay thoughts etc etc poly

hades has only fairly recently started uhh dragon hrt, so he looks more like a fluffy hyena than a majestic lion

truffle never remembers to clip her mane properly, she usually just ties it back

cicada has a heavy accent no one can positively identify, and they cant clearly remember where theyre from

[decepti-geek]

I might be old fashioned (or the rarepair thing might be true, I can't remember if my first ever ship was a rare pair but the way I engaged with ships was Hecking Weird in a way I recognized as strange so I didn't get upset when other people weren't on my boat with me) but when did people start not thinking it's rude to insult a ship in the ship tags? This is the second time I've seen that recently did people forget it's rude as shit?

(sending you an ask rather than reblogging that post because, aside from being rude, it's also historically likely to put a target on your back and I don't want to accidentally contribute to harassing someone for making a somewhat ill-mannered joke)

It's funny cause, I very much suspect that the whole Anti Bullshit had something to do with this. But I can't rightly speculate whether it's likely to be down to, idk, after what it was like to have antis in your ship tag, the bar is on the floor in terms of social expectations in fandom. Or if it's more some kind of... I mean, people DID still used to be rude about ships in tags before the anti thing gained the traction it did. But BA (Before Antis) it was rarely a concerted effort on the part of multiple people, it was usually just Some Asshole who might whinge if you told them to fuck off, but crucially, you knew you had the ability to tell them to fuck off and it was likely to meet with some success, as long as it was a situation of you and your buddies just vibing and them being shitty by choice.

But then the antis kind of like... collectivised ship hate, so if you had ship hate in your tag then it wasn't a matter of telling That One Asshole to fuck off, it was at its worst like, trying and likely failing to fend off a goddamn harassment campaign. I know that BA, there were also like, shipwars/flamewars. But my impression of those was really that, y'know, everyone had a pretty equal stake in the fight? One side liked one thing and hated the other, the other side liked and hated the opposite. But antis didn't have the same skin in the game in that way, because a lot of the time even if things began as a way of prioritising a different ship, over time it did become about PURELY hating someone else's ship. So that changed the dynamic, made it uneven, and made it harder to fight off people who had less of a reason to back off, because hating a thing had become so central to their fandom experience that they had less space to kind of, retreat and go do something they loved instead.

ANYWAY point being, I think the fandom perception might have shifted from 'oh here's an asshole just tell them to fuck off' to, Post-Antis, still having that kind of, lingering sense that telling someone to fuck off isn't worth it because you don't know what you might bring down on your head. Like, the way antis did/do fandom has changed what's seen as acceptable within fandom even if now the consensus has shifted further towards 'why would you harass someone over something like that oh my god please stop.' But it's not in the same place it was BA, so I think that kind of stuff is still seen as like, more okay, and less needlessly rude, than it once was.

(If you would like to PM me off anon to talk further I am also all ears, and obviously I'm not gonna reveal who you are if you do. But you seem like this has been bothering you a bit so if you have further stuff about fandom you wanna rant about to someone I am absolutely willing to be that person).

[incandescent-creativity]

For the WIPs ask game you reblogged 3 days ago (creeper me - I haven't been around in a WHILE) - I'd loooove to see a new snippet from LiaHT. I haven't seen anything since it was still a newer concept. I'd love to see what you've done with it since I was first obsessed! :D

I don't remember what game you were talking about, but OMG you haven't been here since it was a newer concept??? Buckle in babes.

Recent, significant LiaHT changes:

To POV! Book one (the liaht we know and love) will be Mal's book. Because her POV has always come easy for me, and I think it would be fun, especially while she’s in the “oh fuck that’s an Angel” panic.

Book two will be Nora, when two extremely strange strangers show up at her door and they end up on the world’s weirdest road trip. Book three will be Olufemi’s POV, as they discover world-ending stakes that an angel specifically appreciates.

~

To circumstances! Previously, I had this weird Focus thing, where demons were assigned which humans to tempt. I realized that this doesn't work with the mythos of my world at large (why would Hell care if its demons are loyal? The worst thing that could have happened to them has--they've fallen from grace).

Anyway, I knew it didn't fit thematically, but I didn't know what to change it to, so I kept it.

This draft, it's going to be a contest. Held by the Legion demons specifically, to see who can corrupt a faithful human the fastest and the best. They're monitoring it through self reporting, so only intrinsically motivated and highly talented demons will make it.

The point is, Mal will be working on Nora for her own selfish gain now, instead of motivated by outside forces. Which is going to make for an infinitely juicier and way more fun reveal.

~

To higher beings! Previously, i had archangels and archdemons scattered across the globe. Michael was in Jerusalem, for example. I have maps.

And while I do like the global thing, and each of those locations holds the arch-creature's central self, there are now avatars of each one in big American cities. I'm sure you've seen the map that I posted today.

~

To titles and opening lines! In my creative 1am fever last night, I think I nailed down what the name of each book will be, and the parallel openers according to who is talking.

Lies in a Holy Tongue: This is a point of no return. (MAL)

Truth in a Lover’s Eyes: This is a big decision. (NORA)

Faith in a Fighting Heart: This is a pivotal moment. (OLU)

~

I know that might not be the snippet you were thinking of getting, but I'm going to start rewriting soon to be all in Mal's POV, so I don't really have anything yet! And I think these are cool.

[ofdreamsanddoodles]

if you don't mind me asking, how do you deal with consuming content with 'problematic' aspects? for example, i see you reblog posts criticizing things like racism in tma, and you can still make content while being able to recognize those things. it's hard for me to continue enjoying something when it has even 1 thing slightly bad in it, but i know that's not a healthy way to consume content. is there anything you keep in mind when interacting with a given series? u don't need to answer ❤️ ty

also a note on my ask -- of course you don't need to answer, and you aren't a therapist & etc. i just admire your ability to both recognize flaws in works but still enjoy them, and thought since you seem to have critical thinking skills you might have a perspective that you could offer. being on tumblr from a young age seems to have affected my ability to separate things in my mind, lol. thanks so much for reading even if you don't feel comfortable answering.

I mean... you’ve kind of answered your own question? The only way to consume media is to remember that everything has flaws. My brother came by while I was typing this up and told me the answer is to “just vibe” because everyone is more or less terrible in one aspect or another but obviously, that’s not the answer you’re looking for.

I guess the short answer is just... you have to learn how to trust your own set of morals and understand that you shouldn’t feel guilty if a story you like betrays you. And yes, that’s hard, especially when you grow up surrounded by very rigid rules on what’s “okay” to watch, but if you’re just looking for some tips, here’s a list that I hope will help:

Find people you trust and see what they think of the situation. Think about whether or not they’re coming from an informed place. A friend of mine asked me if I knew about a Jewish tradition a while back. I had no idea what they were talking about. Turns out, it was something popular with German Jews. None of my family is from Germany. Sometimes, just being Jewish doesn’t mean I’m the right person to ask.

Find people who are complaining & see why they’re upset. Think about who is annoyed by this and how many of them there are. Think about what they think the proper response is, if any. Think about whether you have the right to wave off their concerns. Think about how those concerns are treated, both in-fandom and by creators. I saw a lot of people in the tma tag complaining about twitter “overreacting” to MAG 185, but if Jonny felt the need to issue an apology and specifically say that he realizes he’s crossed a line, chances are, the complaints were probably warranted (a thing I’d like to add is that apparently, RQ also issued an apology for a fluff episode they released, which I thought was kind of silly, because the episode was essentially just joking about martin forgetting a word. But also, as a neurodivergent person who sometimes struggles with speech, I do understand why that might upset people. not all apologies have to about incredibly important topics, but even the ones who aren’t show a lot about the cast behind it. Alternatively, if RQ had only apologized for this episode, and not MAG 185, that also says a lot about where there priorities are, and what fans they care about keeping)

Think about what will happen if you continue watching/reading etc. It’s not so much “is it okay if I keep watching this?” but “if I continue to watch this, will I convince myself that this problematic aspect isn’t actually a big deal? Is it so ingrained in the show that I can’t watch an episode without seeing the problems in it? What will I say to others, if they want to watch this?” For example, if someone sees you’ve reblogged a scene from a show you like and asks what it’s about, how many excuses are you going to give? How many trigger warnings are there, and can you justify them? There’s a difference between a piece of media having a character say homophobic slurs, and a piece of media saying a gay person should have homophobic slurs thrown at them.  Also: If you think you cant justify getting someone else interested, you probably shouldn’t justify contributing to the show. This might be obvious, but there’s a very big difference in pirating a tv show and buying its merch. 

Think about the fandom. If you continue talking about this, who are you surrounding yourself with? Like, there are a LOT of weirdos making content for kids shows, but that doesn’t always mean the show itself is weird. What it does mean, though, is that you should be careful navigating your enjoyment. Sometimes, the only way to enjoy something is to talk about it with a select few friends. Sometimes, it’s to enjoy it by yourself. I do believe it’s possible to enjoy a show in spite of the canon, but at the same time, if you’re watching a show that’s attracting a lot of racists, think about why that might be. 

some more thoughts under the cut, because I already wrote them out before I realized I could just make a list.

The thing about consuming media is that it’s very subjective. I know a lot of people who have given up on tma recently and while that’s not wholly because it’s “problematic,” it definitely plays a part in it. People have different meters for what they can excuse in media. The important thing to remember is WHY they left, and if you’re able to keep that in your mind while also continuing to engage in contact with the media. Will you be able to remember that Daisy traumatized Jon more than any other avatar if you consume context calling her Basira’s hot murderwife? Can you talk about the Flesh and acknowledge the racism in the creation of the Haans?

Personally, I don’t think you can produce positive content about Daisy and also acknowledge the harm she causes. You can’t point at a character and say, yes, she has committed actual police brutality, but I think she deserves a cute lesbian romance anyway. That’s not really a thing tma has done wrong as much as it is a problem with the fandom, but like, at the end of the day, it’s all just a matter of critical thinking. Who is being hurt by these portrayals of the characters? How? Most of the problems with tma aren’t things that are, like, baked into the actual worldbuilding and for a lot of people, that’s enough for them to still justify making content for the show.

If your complaints sound like “oh, if only they didn’t do xy, this would make for a good show,” then you’re probably fine. But if it goes into “i like this, but only if I can ignore (major plot point)” think about why you feel the need to keep watching. There are shows I’ve stopped watching based on principle. There’s manga I read that I only talk about with my brother and no one else, because I don’t want to be exposed to the fans. It doesn’t have to be as simple as “well, this artist did a bad thing, so now I’m going to ignore it forever.” If you think the creators of something are bad people, don’t support them. You can still pirate it or whatever, but if it’s something like hetalia, where the point of the show is just “let’s put all these stereotypes in a room and see how they react” then yes, for your own sake, you should stop watching because this is how stereotypes become normalized, and no one should be consuming media where nazi germany as the protagonist.

Really, at the end of the day, it’s just a matter of becoming media literate and that’s a process that takes time. Remember that being interested in something that isn’t 100% doesn’t make you a bad person, and listen to the people around you. Try and be a safe space for the people who do have complaints and remember not to place your enjoyment of something over the comfort of others. Other than that, just... do your best, I guess?

[gayregis]

it's not my intention to come off as rude, but could you perhaps think more using insane" less? I don't want to tell you what to do but this word as well as others like "crazy" as descriptors are so deeply rooted in common usage but also very, very ableist at the core. I think it's important to unlearn these things and be more mindful of their impact and the implications towards the mentally ill.

this might be a long answer but like... yeah. this can get pretty personal so. that’s why it’s long. **and i am asking anyone reading to not reblog this post because of it being personal** but i wanted to respond to this ask and not ignore it, to let you know that i do care about what you’re talking about, but i do just want to challenge your perspective a little.

i want to say that, although it’s not your intention to come off as rude, it is kind of rude to assume that i don’t deal with mental illness and that i’ve never thought about this before. just because i don’t have all of my mental illnesses listed in my bio does not mean i am not mentally ill... you kind of don’t know anything about me regarding this, because i try and keep it private and not make a lot of vent posts, because i generally am become uncomfortable with venting online to strangers. you saying “the mentally ill” like it’s a foreign concept is pretty funny to me considering that i struggle with mental illness...

okay so. let’s get to the response to this

first off, i agree with you that using words like “crazy” and “insane” can be rude and ableist when used in a rude and ableist context. if you are calling other people “crazy” and “insane” to describe their actions towards you, like a guy saying “my crazy bitch ex girlfriend”, that’s obviously fucked up and an improper use of the word. additionally, other words, like “ps*cho” and shit are totally off the table to say, imho, as they have a much deeper effect.

but i think that it depends on how you use the word. much like saying “that’s so gay,” VS “i’m so gay,” when you’re actually using the word to describe your own feelings and emotions, that’s pretty much a proper use of the word in terms of its definition, instead of using it to hurt others or to associate it with something to look down upon. this leads me to my next point, which is how i use these words to describe myself, which is personal so i’m going to put a read more

as for the personal side and context as to how i typically use these words, i feel like i usually use them in their proper manner, i.e., to describe my own feelings.

this ask came in like, directly after i posted these tags, so forgive me if i’m connecting to the wrong thing, but these were my tags for context:

so my tag “goes insane, bites u” is pretty silly, at first glance. right, it’s like, a meme or a joke? well... the use of “im insaneeeee” as a phrase that has become common recently “as a joke” has actually been kind of relieving to me as someone who deals with trauma and a whole sleuth of other things... like, when i am feeling super overwhelmed, panicked, and yes , “insane,” i can say, “haha im insanneeee” and it won’t sound like i’m weird for being this way, that i’m weird for having panic attacks, meltdowns, sobbing randomly, etc, etc. 

you can’t see me do these things, because the entirety of my life doesn’t exist on tumblr , so i understand that it might just seem that i’m some weird random fandom blog who doesn’t give two shits and has a perfectly happy life. but i do experience these things and it’s part of my life

when i say “im going insaneeee”, etc. in relation to posts about parental characters / parental relationships,,,...... did you ever think that there might be a reason behind that? or that i might be reacting in an actual “insane” way? i phrase it jokingly, but a lot of the time, i am actually “going insane.” i phrase it like this for both my own comfort (what i talked about where it normalizes it and makes me feel less weird) but also for brevity, and ALSO? to make the artist/op/etc feel way more comfortable than if i literally just spilled everything and said, “this art represents a relationship i desire between myself and my absent parent, whose violence towards me and my other parent still affects me every day, to this day...........” because that’s fucked up and no one would want to read that coming from a stranger, right? i think i’ve said before that the witcher is like “a coping medium” for me and i interact with it not just on a general fandom level, but it has provided me kind of like a way of dealing with shit that i’ve had to encounter...

obviously i don’t have to describe my entire life and trauma to a stranger on the internet, because that’s just not something that i either feel comfortable with or that i need to do, but i wanted to just give an example of where i’m coming from with this. 

i also want to say that i have seen this argument many times, and i also think a lot about a post about this specific argument but i can’t find it right now, but basically what the post says is that eliminating words like “crazy” and “insane” from our vocabularies with no thought of WHY we’re doing it beyond “it can be ableist”, without actually considering what these words mean and the variety of ways in which they can be used, and what we could do to directly benefit the lives of mentally ill people, is a HUGELY liberal standpoint that focuses on the performativity of personal choice instead of the SYSTEMATIC CHANGES that would help lessen the effects of the ableism baked into our society. 

so yeah that’s pretty much it, i get if it makes you uncomfortable and i’ll try not to use these words in like derogatory ways like “you’re insane if you think that...” because i get where that can start to feel wrong, although i can’t remember a post i’ve made where i said that (if you want to link me to posts like that that i’ve made, i can edit them). 

thanks for the concern anon and i hope this answered your question, but i just want to say like, even though i think your intent was good, please consider how you’re interacting with people and do not assume the mental health status of everyone you see online...

[siebenschoen]

stop playing by the rules - Ivan x Reader

After Vladimir has been badly hurt in his fight with the other, murderous vampire and you’re done with playing the damsel in distress and feeling useless. Luckily, a opportunity presents itself, when Ivan tries to sneak out of the manor...

Loosely based on Vladimir’s chapter 5. And while this may feel like a Vladimir fic, I swear it’s not - pinky promise! I also should start actually playing the chapters before writing fanfiction about the them, because I only read a summary of chapter 5. Oopsie. (Also, I currently take requests.)

Reblogs and likes are very much appreciated!

(@ ao3)

You can see Vladimir's sleeping form through the slightly opened door. The sight makes your heart clench. He hasn't woken ever since the fight with the vampire, that murdered all these young women, and you basically had to drag Vladimir's unconscious form back to the manor. You feel guilty... If you hadn't walked back so late on your own, if you hadn't gone out in the first place, if you hadn't fought with him, if you had just listened to Aaron...

“Eloise?”, Raphael's voice is soft, but determined. “Eloise, come. Come away from the door.” He gently tucks at your arm. “It won't do you no good, to fret so much.” You turn around to face him. Even with out being able to see, you can make out the sad, knowing twist to his mouth. “It is not your fault. Please remember that.”

You nod, unable to speak. Your throat feels dry and you don't know if you want to sob or to scream. You glance over your shoulder, back to Vladimir's door. Raphael sighs, but his voice doesn't waver. Endlessly patient, even now. “Vladimir is strong. He will wake up. But you need to rest now, Eloise. No one will be helped, if you collapse in the hallway.”

You let yourself be dragged along, knowing that there is no use in arguing with Raphael now. And that you don't have the energy to argue, anyway.

Raphael leads you to your bedroom door and you feel incredible lonely as you step inside the room. Lonely and useless. There was nothing you could do. No higher role that you could play than the damsel in distress and it makes you sick. Vladimir could have died and the last words you had spoken to him were in anger. You don't want that. He has saved your life, twice now, and you have realised that your stuck with him. You might as well make it work.

But there is no way to make it work, if he doesn't wake up.

The day only holds uneasy sleep for you. You drift in and out of conscience, the guilt nagging at you, waking in cold sweat only to fall back into your dreams to feel the weight of a lifeless Vladimir on your shoulders. Until you finally can take it no more. You throw your legs out of your bed, hastily throwing on clothes, before stumbling down the stairs in a daze. Your mind still lingering in front of Vladimir's door.

If he dies, you'll be free. If he dies, it'll be your fault.

Out of the corner of your eyes you can make out a hooded figure sneaking through the hallway. That makes you snap out of it. Your heart is beating heavily against your ribcage, you can feel it throughout your whole body. What if the attacker has returned? To finish Vladimir off, now that he is defenceless?

The figure turns around and your breath hitches, before you relieve washes over you. It's Ivan. Everything's fine.

Ivan's eyes are blown wide open. His gaze flickers around, searching. “Are any of the others around?”, he asks.

“No”, you shake your head. “It's barely-”, you stop mid-sentence, confusion plain on your face, “dusk.” Ivan nods and turns to leave, but you'll have none of that. Hastily you run after him. “Ivan!”, you call, “Ivan, wait!”

“What are you doing here? It's still daylight - you'll get hurt, if you -”

“I know”

“What?”, you stop in your track, “But then why are you? Wait- Where are you going?”

Ivan's face is hidden under his hood, when he says: “I didn't know I needed your permission to go somewhere.”

“You don't it's just...” Realisation hits you. “This is because of Vladimir, right? You know something, don't you?” Ivan stops, caught. Your breath hitches. “You do! But why would you be sneak- You didn't tell the others!” Your voice jumps. “You know something and you didn't tell them!”

Ivan spins around. Worry and guilt are etched into his features. His gaze jumps around, frantically. “Please, be quite, Eloise, please”, his voice wavers.

“What do you know, Ivan? Where are you going?”

Your words seem to pain him. “Please, Eloise, quite, the others-”

“I've been worried sick, Ivan!”, tears dwell up in your eyes, “Sick! You hear me? And now I find out that you knew something and told no one?! A way to help Vladimir-”

“I don't know how to help, Vladimir!”, Ivan's voice grows loud, harsh. The shock makes you freeze. “I'm sorry, Eloise, I didn't- I didn't mean to...”, Ivan looks as surprised as you are. He sighs. “I don't know how to help Vladimir. I really don't, you have to believe me.”

“Then what do you know?”, you almost whisper.

“The attacker, I”, he refuses to meat you eyes, ”... I was close, when the fight happened. I could smell him. And I believe that I know where he's headed.”

“But if you were close, why didn't you-”

“I was scared. I've never been in a fight with a vampire before. And I... I was so scared.”, his gaze finally meats yours and you're nearly thrown back by the amount of guilt hidden in it.

“The others wouldn't let you go.”, you conclude, “That's why you're sneaking out before dusk.”

“Yes”, Ivan sighs, “Please, don't tell them. I was a coward and now Vladimir's hurt. I need to make it up, I need to go - do you understand?”

“I do” - “Thank you, I owe you-” - “And I'll come with you.”

Ivan freezes. “What? No!” His voice jumps in a way that would have been funny in another situation. “It's dangerous. If something were to happen to you, Vladimir would kill me. I can't-”

“And you think the others will take kindly to it, when they eventually figure out that I let you sneak out without telling anyone? No, Ivan. I couldn't help Vladimir either, when he was attacked. I'm done with sitting around and feeling useless. I need to do something!”, you take a deep breath, determination has settled deep into your heart, “Either we go together or everyone in this house will know that you're gone, before the sun has set. It's your choice.”

Ivan throws a last glance up the stairs. He doesn't look happy with the situation you put him in. In fact, he looks more worried than you have ever seen him. You can see biting the inside of his cheek. He's debating with himself, you can tell.

“Fine. But please, don't”, he stops, searching for words, “put yourself in unnecessary danger?” He cringes at his own words.

“I'll try my best.”, you promise, but deep down you know that you might not be true to your words.

You follow Ivan out of the manor, into the forest. Every little bit of his skin is carefully hidden from the sun. He does it effortlessly and you can't help but wonder, how often he sneaks out like this, wrapped in his cloak, without anyone knowing.

The shoes you wear were not made for tracking through the woods - you can feel every stick and every stone -, but you doubt Ivan would have waited for you, if you had asked to get changed. And so you ignore the discomfort like you ignore the twigs and branches tugging on your skirt and hair. Instead you focus on the goal ahead. Finding the monster that harmed Vladimir.

Ivan doesn't possess the same natural grace the others have, when walking through the forest. He moves more silent than a human would, but it's not with the same elegance you have noticed in the other vampires. He seems more like a fawn that needs to grow into its long legs, unsure and unused to every movement.

It does make sense, you suppose. He has only been recently turned. The powers must still be new to him. It reminds you of yourself in a way. Thrown into something that you do not understand, without any kind of warning.

Dusk has finally come, the last rays of sunlight fading out. It's even darker in the forest than it must be outside of it. You follow close behind Ivan. Barely being able to see where you're going, you use the movement of his body as a guide. Neither of you talk much, Ivan's too focused on following the trail he found and your mind is drifting back and forth between the manor and what might await you ahead.

Ivan's hood has fallen from his head and you focus on the bobbing of his hair - bright, against the dark of the forest - to make out when you have to look out for roots or large stones. But it becomes harder and harder for you to make out even simplest of shapes. You stumble more than you walk and try as you might, it becomes nearly impossible to keep up with Ivan.

Without thinking your hand reaches forward and buries itself deep into the folds of Ivan's hood. He stops dead in his tracks and throws a long look over his shoulder. Even in the black of the night you can make out his eyes. They are almost glowing and yellow. Like sunflowers. You shake off the thought and smile apologetically, knowing that Ivan can see as clearly as he can in daylight. “Sorry, but I don't see a thing in the dark.”

“Oh”, Ivan looks up to the night sky, as if only now realising how dark it has gotten. “No, I am sorry. I still sometimes forget that I have... special abilities.”

“It's fine. I just... need some help, I guess.”, you shrug it off, although you can't help, but feel embarrassed. You didn't want to feel useless anymore and yet here you are again - holding Ivan back. You bite the inside of your cheek. There's no use in thinking like that. It will help no one - not you, not Ivan, not Vladimir.

Hand buried in Ivan's hood, you take to walking even closer behind him than before. It is still weird to be so close to another person without feeling their body heat, only a strange, cold presence. But yet it is also different from being close to Vladimir. Vladimir's presence is all corpse-like coolness, but with Ivan it feels like there's still a touch of warmth, hidden deep within him. A last bit of humanity still left in him. In a way it is even stranger, but at the same time weirdly comforting.

Soon clouds gather over the once clear night sky and there's a sudden chill to the air. You can smell the rain in the air and if you can smell it that means- “Fuck”, Ivan sighs, “Rain. Just the thing we needed.”

“Will you be able to smell him despite that?”

You can practically hear him grinding his teeth. "I will have to." You shoot a worried glance up to the sky, but try to calm yourself down. There are worse things than rain.

It doesn't take long for you to curse your past self, as massive clouds empty themselves above you two. Fate is a bitch and the storm is coming. You are absolutely drenched and Ivan fares none the better. Your wet hair and clothes are stuck to your body, the wind tucking at your legs and forcing the trees to bow dangerously low. You can hear thunder crashing above you and it doesn't take long for the sky to burn white with lightning - which means it's close to you. Fuck.

Ivan seems determined to continue, but there's no way you'll be able to carry on. You need to get both of you out of the rain – fast.

You try to to get his attention, by tucking at his cloak, calling out to him – but either he ignores you, or he just doesn't notice.

A loud crack and than the world around you is yet again bright for a few, precious seconds. Frantically you scan your surroundings looking for something that might give you cover from the rain - anything, really. And then suddenly you spot it. The small entrance of a cave. Not much, but enough.

You still have strong grip on Ivan's hood and hoping that the element of surprise will be enough, you send a quick prayer to the thundering sky, before throwing yourself with all your weight into the direction of the cave. The sudden pull makes Ivan lose his footing and with a shrill yelp he falls after you, stumbling into the relatively dry opening.

“What the-!” He catches himself with one hand on the stone wall, while you collapse on the floor, your legs spread out far. The exhaustion from walking for hours without a break is finally catching up to you and weighs heavy on your limbs.

Ivan's face is stuck somewhere between confused and furious. “What- What was that about?!”

“I just can't continue anymore.” - ”And you couldn't have told me?”

You laugh. “Please, Ivan, you barely heard the lightning, so focused were you on following the track. Or what's left of it, more likely.”

“There will be nothing, if we don't continue now.”

“There's already nothing, Ivan! You can't tell me you're able to smell this man through that kind of rain! You probably can't even see further than the tip of your own nose!”, you shake your head, “Plus it would be incredibly dangerous to continue now.”

Ivan folds his arms in front of his chest and stares out into the rain. “For you maybe, but I could-”

“Oh, stop it!” You don't have the energy to deal with that kind of attitude. “What if lightning stroke? There's still enough dry bits to make for at least a small fire. Or better even it hits a tree right next to us! I don't remember vampires being immune to either. So, stop sulking and sit down.”

Ivan doesn't sit down. Instead, he just turns his glare from the forest to you. “You wanted to come along. You were desperate to come along. And now you're giving up?”

That strikes a nerve with you. “I am not giving up.”, you press out through gritted teeth. But as quick as the fighting spirit enters you, it leaves again. You're just so tired. “It's true. I want to find the guy, who did these horrible things to Vladimir. But I don't want to get killed in the progress. Especially not by some bad weather.” A dry laugh escapes you. “And don't forget: me dying, would kill him as well.”

That seems to finally convince Ivan. He slips down the rough cave wall onto the floor. There's not much space, your legs are almost touching. You can feel that weird not quite human, not quite vampire either warmth on your bare legs. It doesn't really help the uncomfortable tension that is quickly building up. Ivan's gaze keeps on jumping back to the entrance of the cave and you can tell that there's a part of him that's desperate to run out and keep on searching. And you don't really know what to say, without offending him or making everything worse just in general.

You chew on the inside of your lip, trying to come up with something - anything really - that would make this situation more bearable, when Ivan speaks up. “I just don't get it. Back at the manor you were so desperate to save Vladimir and I guess it makes sense, you're his chalice after all and there's-”

“Can people please stop throwing around the word 'chalice' like it explains everything I'm doing or that I'm supposed to be doing? You guys act like it's the only thing I'm defined by.”, you say, but your words lack real bite. “I'm so tired of it.”

“But it is important. It changed your whole life. It changed who you are, just like my-”, he stops, but you know what he was about to say. “The bond you have with Vladimir is so special and now you almost act as if you don't care. I just don't understand it, I suppose.”

“I do care”, you sigh, “And the bond I have with Vladimir is special, that's true. But... let's be honest here, Ivan, I barely know him.” You let your head fall back against the wall. The exhaustion overwhelms you and makes you stop caring. “I don't know shit about him.” You laugh. “And sometimes I wonder if I truly want to know more. I promised myself I would try my best, but he can be such an ass. Why should I put up with that? Why should I just shut up and accept him for who he is, when he can't do the same for me? He saved my life - and I'm thankful for that! - and I don't want him to die, but I also never asked to be his chalice.”

Ivan has stayed quiet throughout - his fingers are busy toying with small stones and dried twigs - and you're thankful for that. You don't have the energy to argue right now.

“You chose him.”

Normally you might have been offended by that statement, but now you just laugh. “I was bleeding to death, Ivan. I wasn't exactly at the height of my mental abilities.” His gaze is still turned down, focusing on the small stone in his hand. “What? Did you want me to choose you?”

As soon as the question leaves your mouth, you regret it. Ivan's head snaps up, he stares at you wide-eyed. His eyes - they are pretty, like sunflowers. He is pretty. You blink quickly, trying your hardest to shake these - probably - just rest deprived thoughts off. “That would have just been a disaster waiting to happen, right?”, your laugh sounds fake even to your own ears.

But your tired mind can't stop clinging to that one thought. Ivan truly is pretty. His blondish hair is wild and sticking into every direction. You notice that he has nice hands and before you can scold yourself for thinking something weird, you decided that you really like that. You don't even mind the dark circles under his eyes or that his skin is unnatural pale. A sudden rush of adrenaline goes through you. It doesn't take a genius to realise that you're attracted to him.

All at once, you become hyper aware of everything about you. Of the dirt stains and little bruises on your legs - that without doubt come from tracking through a forest for hours. Of the way your hair and dress still cling to your body and probably don't leave much for imagination. It becomes harder to breath.

This is dangerous. Really dangerous. You can feel Ivan's gaze on you. Desperately you search through your mind for something that'll take the tension, the weird edge everything around you just got away. But it is no use. The air is electrifying. Your skin is burning were it barely even touches Ivan's. This is so not good. You jump to your feet.  “I'm sorry, I overstepped. I'm just tired and cold and- a bit miserable, to be honest.” The words stumble out of your mouth and fall onto the floor. There they lie awkwardly – meaningless – between the vampire and you.

Ivan rises from the floor. He's taller than you, but not towering over your head. His closeness is intimate, not intimidating. You know that he is a predator. You should know that more than anyone. But it's hard to remember that, when he stands right next to you, his eyes nervously flickering around. Looking just as young and scared as you are. The terrifying feeling of his teeth ripping into your flesh, seems but a distant, almost unreal memory. The way his proximity makes your heart beat fast is so much closer to you, so much more real.

"Don't apologise.", Ivan's voice is strained. He is looking everywhere but at you. "You're right. Maybe it would have been a disaster. But to answer your question"  – his eyes meet yours and your heart misses a beat. All of the sudden, the cave seems much too small and the distance between Ivan and you much too far at the same time. "Yes, sometimes, I wish that you would have chosen me. Especially, since it becomes harder and harder to control myself around you." You can feel your cheeks heating up at that statement.

To say that you think about what you do next, is an overstatement. It's more instinct than anything that pushes you forward. There's a small part of you that knows that this is wrong. That there is some unwritten rule out there saying that this is something you're really, really not supposed to be doing. But fuck this, this is not your world and you're tired of playing by their rules – and goddammit, you want, you want...

Your lips are crashing into Ivan's. For a moment he is frozen, then his lips start moving against yours, longingly, desperately. There is a fleeting warmth to it, like a candle burning out. His hands are clutching at your waist, drawing you closer, and you follow without complaint. You can feel his sharp teeth grazing your lips, but the feeling isn't frightening. Instead, it sends shivers down your spine, fuelling the fire that burns in the pit of your stomach. It excites you.

The worry about Vladimir is not gone. But you left it outside the cave, in the storm, that brought you here. It's hard to think about these things, when you're pressed close to Ivan. And as his tongue licks along your lower lip, you can admit to yourself that you don't really want to. This might have terrible consequences, but you tilt your head to the side and bury your fingers in the soft hair of Ivan's nape and decided that whatever that may be, it's definitely going to be a problem for later.

For now all that counts is the way Ivan's body feels against yours.

[animentality]

Theres an snk reblog event because the fandom's dashes have been getting drier day by day and its honestly so pathetic, I cant help but pity the minority of people who dont wank Eren, Mikasa, and Levi.

Lmao I remember seeing that and it was kind of sad because I saw they said something along the lines of: the fandom is far from dead! It's more lively than ever!

And then they reblogged like, four pieces of really, really rough art of Eren, Mikasa, and Levi.

Because that's the only content left...and it's like weird quality stuff too.

Like some of it was drawn non digitally and it was jarring to see.

I don't know how anyone could say with a straight face that the snk fandom is "lively" when it's basically the same four artists, one rabid em shipper, two rabid Levi stans, and a chain of mega conspiracists.

Like legit, if I ever go into the snk tag, I can bet you that the top posts are either super peace fangirl, toukatan, yaboylevi, noaryr (can't spell their name tbh I forget exactly what it is), omarvin, juniperarts who mostly does snk x bnha crossover art, kuchenackerman, or tinyleviackerstan. Maybe sanikori.

Sometimes lenok.

These are people who've been around since 2013-ish, and these are not a diverse group of people.

They mostly post screenshots of manga panels or gush about the most superficial thing in the most recent snk chapter.

Only some of them post original art, and if it is original art you can bet it's eremika or Levi centric lmao.

[phanbliss]

i'm asking out of a place of wanting to understand, so please don't assume i am accusing you or attacking you, but regarding a post you reblogged recently, it was an ask where templeofshame claimed that if dnp weren't together it would be kind of like "baiting" us but i really don't think that's fair? they haven't EVER said or pretended to be in a closeted relationship, only been friends that joke a bit about their occasionally romantic tendencies, i have friends who think me pt.1

this ask is long due to there being several messages, so i’m putting it under a cut. the post in question: x

me and my best friend are together when we’re really not. we’ve said so, but eventually just stopped denying the claim while occasionally joking about it. i think its unfair of us to act like they owe us something? they don’t owe us a “coming out” (i agree with op tho that coming out has issues of it own, but its the most relevant term) neither do they have to tell us if they aren’t together. 

however we perceive their relationship is our business, and as long as we aren’t toxic about it pt. 2  then really we shouldn’t care about ppl calling us “silly shippers” cause shipping them isn’t weird or rude, i, myself, truly believe they are together, but i don’t think that they owe us anything. they are real people with their own complex lives that we may not understand, heck, that THEY may not understand and they are just living their truth. for whatever reason, they may feel that they don’t want to tell people that they’re in a relationship (if they are in one) pt. 3but neither do they feel the need to (and in my opinion, shouldn’t feel the need to) explain and clarify their status to us.

 it isn’t in any way baiting or manipulation. if we decide to invest our lives and our time into writing fanfics and making art then that is our choice! they are obviously fine with it so long as it isn’t shoved in their faces, but they don’t owe us clarification, maybe i’m misunderstanding something, i just don’t think it’s fair to say that they are being manipulative pt.4simply by being themselves? 

they are their own people with their own reasons for keeping private or not telling us. they have never pretended like phan is real, have even denied it in the past, never made merch or something that has catered to shippers specifically. they have simply let us be (even if dan was quite rude about it before, but i believe he has improved a lot over the years) and made some quips about it. they choose to share parts of their lives with us and however pt5 the phandom reacts to that is our “issue”. 

in summary, i believe that it is unfair to say that if they aren’t together it means we have been baited and manipulated and “wasted our time” because i really don’t think that’s fair to the good times we have had while shipping them. they are real people that owe us nothing about their private lives and can hide or reveal as much or as little as they want. i do believe that some people DO “queerbait” irl, especially ytbrs, but dnp have never pt.6acted fake or overly romantic to seem like they’re in love, their bond, in my opinion is genuine, and whatever we read into that is valid, but it doesn’t mean that they owe us an explanation. 

i think i should end this now, but before i go, know that i do NOT intend this to be a dig at anyone, just wanted to share my perspective and ask your opinion about what i’ve just shared. i just see ppl acting like dnp could qb us and it kind of makes me think. have a nice day, take care, peace out! end 

ooof anon, i appreciate that you sent this to me, but i’m really not the right person for it! i’m not one of the smart people in this fandom, nor one of the cool ones, so discussing things with me over anon is not as fun and rewarding as sending an ask to one of the popular people haha. but i’ll reply with my thoughts anyway!

we’ve had discussions about this on IDB before and my opinion hasn’t changed since the last time i said anything on this subject.

TO BEGIN WITH:  i in no way believe they are consciously encouraging the shipping to make money. they are two people in a long term relationship that navigate a difficult world of being queer, being popular and trying to stay private.

1) “me and my friend” - while i definitely appreciate and understand that, we have to try to not compare dnp to ourselves if we want to make a proper point. i could say that me and my friend x haven’t talked in 2 years but i still consider them a friend, which doesn’t mean that it’s the norm for everyone - same goes for the “me and my friend” arguments concerning dnp. i don’t mean you necessarily, i mean things i’ve seen over the years. “me and my friend always say i love you! we live together! we spend all our time together! we’re platonic!” - that’s awesome but it doesn’t mean anything about dnp

2) i don’t think @templeofshame acted like dnp owe us anything. i took it more as like at this point, dnp admitting to having been platonic this whole time (lol i’m laughing while typing this) would have been a form of queerbaiting. templeofshame never said they owe us a “coming out” or anything like that

3) you have to remember that their audience is largely queer. to a lot of the younger fans, they are some sort of role models and maybe even eye-openers when it comes to their [fans’] own sexuality. they are most likely aware of this and definitely accept it.

4) the biggest thing i guess i should explain is why i believe that them having been platonic this whole time would have been some form of queerbaiting and… and there is no way to put it while still being nice? so forgive me, this is my opinion and i’m not trying to start drama.

they DEFINITELY benefit off phan. they have since the start (or at least dan). back in their younger days, people didn’t really ship them as much as assume they were a couple, that’s how they behaved and most people would jump to that conclusion. when shit hit the fan (vday + general life stress) and dan started lashing out, shipping got real hard. and dnp could have left it there, could have left shipping as that elephant in the room that we’re not allowed to mention, but no

slowly, gradually, they went back to accepting shipping. they haven’t denied anything in years and in many ways they encourage it. and really, no one will make me believe that they - as in the joint brand of dan and phil - would be as popular as they are without the shipping. lots of people watch them for their chemistry and hear of them through phan. they themselves no longer shy away from it - see tatinof fanfic scenes, their fanfics in tabinof, all sorts of things i’m too tired to mention - lots of recent things from this year.

so yeah, i believe they are very aware of phan and accept it, and if they accepted it while being two bros in ~other relationships~ or ~perpetually single~ then yeah, i would feel it’s wrong. not because they said something outright but because 9+ years of certain behaviors are as good as admitting to it. 

they are basically out at this point, both as not being straight and being a couple, and i’m happy they got there on their own terms.

bottomline - i firmly believe they’re together and all that is missing is an actual confirmation - which we don’t ‘need’ - but if they weren’t together, we’d be right to be upset by this point.

idk if this answered your ask but i’m really tired and as i said, i’m dumb so you’re better off asking someone cooler than me hah :)

[muggle-writes]

Rules: Answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better.

tagged by @elizabethsyson

Nickname: Muggle is my nickname, but when I went by Muggle in person for more than a month at a time, it naturally got abbreviated, usually to Mugz

Zodiac: Aquarius

Last movie I saw: into the spiderverse (same answer as last time. I don't watch that many movies tbh except around Christmas. unless YouTube counts in which case... music of some sort? idk links for the next answer)

Favorite musician: changes by the day. I've kinda been in an acapella and/or folk music mood recently so the Maccabeats and Peter Hollens are in my YouTube and Spotify history a lot recently. also I'm eternally in awe of Forte Handbell Quartet (eta a longer video; i recommend skipping to the techno piece or the Jurassic Park theme)

Last thing I googled: "vine why are you buying clothes at the soup store" (my wife hasn't seen it; also i can't find the vine because apparently it's a much bigger meme than I realized). before that it was "chgrp not root" because work and group permissions are useful when they work

Song stuck in my head: well for most of the day when I haven't been actively listening to something, it's been the Pokemon RSE route-walking music. (but that somehow happens frequently when I'm in the no-music-no-internet room at work, as I was for most of the day, and I don't know how I accidentally trained my brain to make that connection). right now, surprisingly, I don't have any background music playing in my head. I think it's because the humidifier provides just enough white noise that my brain doesn't feel the need to provide its own

Other blogs: my main is @muggle-the-hat and I'm a mod on @why-do-neurotypicals but we've gotten one ask ever so that blog has been dormant for a while. I have a bunch of other sideblogs, but they're all small and I use different screen names on each of them (enby life: no idea which name suits me best so I may as well try them out) so i feel like it would just confuse things to link them.

Following: blogs matching all the themes of my sideblogs, (including this one, which is writeblr), korean langblr, jumblr, assorted fandom blogs, authors of my more favorite fanfictions (some overlap with other categories), and irl friends and acquaintances (including one fandom blog turned irl friend)

Do I get asks: on my main if at all, which isn't really surprising because i have hundreds of followers there and maybe 60 followers combined among the rest. but I get asks far less often than I reblog ask memes so... I'm always happy to get more. I do get tagged in ask games more on this one, but writeblr is actually vaguely organized about tag lists so that makes sense. also I used to get tagged a bunch on my main and I rarely could find the posts again to follow up when I had time to answer.

What I’m Wearing: pajamas. staying warm and cozy

Lucky number: I don't remember what I said last time, but I like a lot of numbers. 64 is a good number. recently I've been debugging software in which 0x3E is my lucky status number and 0x0E taunts me. (um, decimal 62 and 14). Also my other favorite number i can't share until it's no longer the combination to the lock to the Secret Room. (or realistically never because opsec and i shouldn't make public the types of parents we use for that combination lock), honestly I aim to be like.... ah, I'm sure the anecdote involves G.H. Hardy but i don't remember on which side. anyway one mathematician remarked to another about how the id number of the taxi he rode in was sadly uninteresting, and the one I aspire to be like, argued "what are you talking about, this number is interesting because ______" and I'd like to be able to do that for any arbitrary number thrown at me. (hi yes math is good, history is hard, math history is interesting yet i still forget the people even if i remember the math. except when things are named after people, but that tends to be, like, Euler and LaGrange and other people who did lots of cool science things so i remember the methods and the names of the methods separately which never helps)

Amount of sleep: ....depression both screws with my sleep schedule and means I always feel like I need more sleep except when I wake up at 5pm and feel like I've wasted the day. so yeah. I can never get enough sleep

Favorite food: yes (why do I have to pick a favorite?) uh, chocolate in most forms, many other sweet things, red meats (especially if served with potatoes), curry (especially if it has "too much" ginger), fresh-baked bread, chai the way my favorite local Indian restaurant makes it (spicier with just a little bit of sweet, which is the opposite of what i can get from the mocha machine at work which is wayyy sweet with a hint of spice but that inferior chai is still superior to coffee so i drink too much of it). also vegetables which I really don't eat enough of: sauteed zucchini and onions, roasted broccoli

Dream trip: dreaming requires creativity and tbh I funnel that mostly into my writing instead. I wouldn't mind going back to Korea for another visit though

Dream job: my current job is pretty good when I feel productive and when my debugging tools actually produce data maybe??? (they were not being helpful today. but i still mostly like my job.) dream job is probably this but with seniority and confidence and double the salary (while living in a similar area of the country; I wouldn't want to double my salary by moving to work for Google in California and having less available after rent than I do now)

Describe yourself as aesthetic things:

the smell of old books

the first glow of sunrise (the sunrise painting the mountains pink and gold)

a rainbow in the spray from a waterfall

the flicker of distant lightning (watching a thunderstorm fade into the distance)

this picture

Random fact: about me or about the world?

how about a combination answer: when we got our new handbell music this season, we only looked at half the pieces our first rehearsal and afterwards I tried to look up one of the pieces we hadn't gotten to on YouTube because it's got a weird time signature and I wanted to get a feel for how fast it would go and how strict the counting is...... except it turns out we're the first group to ever play the piece. it was commissioned recently but seeing my conductor's name on the page didn't tell me how new it was because he's super prolific. (the fact that it was on printer paper without the publisher's graphics should have been a giveaway but it's only the second time I've been among the first to play one of his pieces so I think I can be excused for not realizing)

Languages: mostly just English, but I took Spanish for years, so I can hold simple conversations in it. I can almost read sound out Hebrew fast enough to keep up in services, and I know some random Hebrew vocab but comparatively no grammar. and I took Korean in college, enough that I can recognize sentence structure but I can really only speak tourist-Korean, though I can sound anything out (if it's typed. handwriting is hit or miss.) in both Hebrew and Korean (and Spanish tbh but i don't often listen to Spanish music) I'm very proud when I can separate the words enough, listening to a song, to translate them without looking up the lyrics. also I tried to learn Japanese from Duolingo when it was new, but I still hadn't gotten the kana straight when it started progressing to kanji so that was a rough time and I went back to Hebrew.

tbh I "dabble" in "language learning" which really means I start a million courses on Duo and stick with none of them. with the notable exception of French, which I acknowledge is super common and probably a good idea to learn but the spelling and pronunciation seem so arbitrary I'm scared to look close enough to learn it properly, and I've never particularly considered starting the Duolingo course for French

I think I lost a few questions, because that's only 18 answers. whoops.

um... who to tag

@abluescarfonwaston if school hasn't drowned you in work yet and @copperscales I'm interested in both of your choices for lucky numbers especially.

... wow I'm blanking on other mutuals I haven't tagged recently. as usual lmk if you'd like to be edited in, or just answer the questions and tag me back, that's great too.