#its weird i just feel so self absorbed about it but also helpless at confronting and solving relational conflict on my own where i cant | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

robotvsheroinbattleofvietnam · 2 years ago

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realized that i always tend to like kinda autistic/non-emotional ppl *or* ppl who are confident in themselves and secure-attachment (and dont need validation from me) bcs ive never been good /adept at dealing with other ppl's emotions tbh

#like i usually dont see it but sometimes it strikes me #and im like #wow i dont know how to work with people's emotions on a personal / interpersonal level that well #i can do it on a surface level and make sure to make someone feel good rather than bad #maybe cus ive always just dealt with my own emotions and barely expressed them therefor not letting anyone cater to them #not that i really did it in a healthy way #its weird i just feel so self absorbed about it but also helpless at confronting and solving relational conflict on my own where i cant #see a clear structural solution #i feel like im really attuned to how people are feeling but mostly in the sense of how its directed at ME #i mean of course i can tell when they're feeling good or bad overall #its just like #not knowing how to deal with the nuances of that persons negative emotion really #i always feel like ill say something wrong or that overall they just dont want my presence #some low self esteem shit fr #and people pleasing behavior #but not genuine ability to tap into someones emotions #friend was saying i probably have quiet bpd i really dont doubt it #but im not going to say i have it #like my emotions can be so much but its more of the immediate bursting sensations than nuance / articulation of a rich emotional world????#idk how to say it #i just dont know how to be always there for people #k. anyway. i should sleep #aya.txt

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