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solar-wing · 1 year ago

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⚣ Five & One 💪🏻

⚣💪🏻 A/N → This is a re-post and, once again, it was inspired by this post by @gone-batty-fics. I'm leaving the full NSFW version up here since it's not that much, so no need for an extra link. I hope you guys enjoy reading this around a second time and sorry if any of you have been missing it. This was my most popular post on my previous account and I'm sad I gotta start it over, but oh well. WARNINGS: Breathplay/Choking, Implied Size Kink, Jealous and Possessive Behavior, Rough Anal, Violence, etc.

⚣💪🏻 Summary → Five times people thought you needed rescuing from your boyfriend, Jason Todd. And the one time, someone needed rescuing from you.

⚣💪🏻 Words → 7.8k

REBLOGS & replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💛

Also, vote in my Omegaverse/Yandere poll here!

⚣ ENJOY 💪🏻

Okay, you got it.

Your boyfriend was a very intimidating and scary guy when he wanted to be. But, that didn’t mean people had to keep asking you if you needed saving like you were some damsel in distress. You weren’t even a damsel! You were a damsmen. Damsman? A Damson?

Oh, forget it. Point still stands, people needed to stop treating you like you needed rescuing. You were fine! Besides, when he wasn’t out hunting criminals, Jason was literally the least threatening person in the world. It was you bitches should be worried about! And if bitches didn’t believe you, bitches could just find out on their own.

Bitch.

The first time wasn’t bad. You considered it actually sweet and could see how under the circumstances someone was not aware of the dynamic between you and the vigilante.

It was a sunny day in Gotham for once. Everyone was out, enjoying the sunshine while having barbecues in the parks, strolling down the street in sunhats and sandals, and going swimming at the local pools. You were no different, seeing the usual moody and depressing atmosphere absent from the sky and deciding immediately to take advantage of it and drag your boyfriend Jason out, making the whole day a date between you two.

You and Jason decided on simple outfits since the sun was out and the temperatures were warmer than usual. You decided on a regular button-up, leaving the top three buttons down to show some skin, which your boyfriend both loved and hated since he could ogle your chest with no shame, but anyone else could do the same. You paired it with some boat shoes and simple shorts that did an excellent job hugging your ‘boo-twah,’ a nickname Jason gave your ass for its large-hand-friendly size, as he liked to say.

“Instead of like boo-tee, it’s boo-TWAH. It’s just out there.” He explained one morning when you had spent the night at his place. Jason, sitting and ogling at his boyfriend in his well-fitted yoga pants and sleeveless hoodie while you made breakfast.

“You are such a nerd.” You laughed at him.

“Well, this nerd scored big,” He responded before landing a heavy smack on your behind, which you chastised him for since he made you almost fling the eggs you were scrambling out of the pan.

Back to the sunny day, Jason dressed simply too but was more relaxed than you. He went for a comfortable pair of joggers, one of his nicer gym shoes, and a tank top covered by a sleeveless hoodie since he got hot easily.

A few months after you and Jason got together, he told you about his double life and his family’s. It explained why when he would spend the night at your house a few times, you’d play doctor while wondering where he was getting all these bruises and wounds. As you and Jason grew closer and began to explore your ‘interest’ in each other’s bodies, you’d find he was actually shy about his body even though the man was built like a tank.

It wasn’t necessarily his body he was ashamed of. It was his scars he actually didn’t like. All things he saw as painful reminders of his more than rough past, especially the bigger ones he had received from Joker. You were patient with him and reminded him at every possible chance that his scars were nothing to be ashamed of. Instead, they were to be celebrated and seen as trophies. Reminders that in the face of everything thrown at him, he came out on top stronger than ever.

Over time, Jason became more confident and comfortable in his body. He bought more shirts, tank tops, and shorts that showed his arms, chest, and legs. Even going as far as cutting the sleeves off some of his hoodies since you owned many pairs, and he loved how they looked on you. He’d prefer to wear yours, but since you were much smaller than him, he’d end up stretching or ripping them. Now, you were no dainty stick or anything like that. You had some meat on your bones and were taller than the average guy. But again, Jason is built like a tank and very much dwarfed you in size.

You weren’t complaining.

He also loved the benefit of the sleeveless hoodies as they made him look more intimidating, which helped whenever he noticed other guys and girls at the gym ogling you a little too long for his liking. He didn’t care who it was, Jason would always look out for and protect you.

Yet, others seemed to see it differently as you walked down the street in Gotham, going in and out of the various stores. You were both sipping on some slushies while chatting about whatever, Jason holding your shopping bags in one hand. You tried to snatch the bags from him multiple times since you didn’t want to feel like Jason was your butler or servant. Besides, you worked out too. Look at your arms! You could carry Jason if you wanted to.

Okay, yes, you knew that was a lie but you were allowed to dream. You’d get there…someday.

“Jason, give me my bag. I can carry it myself!” You said, trying to reach for the bag again.

“Sorry, Bugs, you know the rules. You’re not allowed to carry anything in my presence. Well, except my love for you. That’s heavy enough as it is.” Jason said with a cheeky smile.

You rolled your eyes at your boyfriend’s corny behavior and another one of his nicknames for you. You’d made the mistake of bringing Jason around your best friend during a study session for one of your classes. He revealed your childhood obsession with Looney Tunes and how many times when you reacted to a situation, you were a carbon copy of Bugs Bunny with his sarcasm and behavior.

“Get away from me dude,” You said, putting distance between yourself and the brick wall of a man.

“Ah, get back here.”

Jason grabbed you by your waist and pulled you to his side, nuzzling his face into your neck while tickling your sides.

“Jason, stop!” You shouted in laughter, trying to push him away.

“Never! You are now my hostage.” He joked back with you.

You stood there for a few more seconds wrestling with each other on the sidewalk. Someone should really scold you two for acting so cutesy and loving out and public like that. WE GET IT! You’re in love! Stop rubbing it in our faces.

When you broke apart, you found yourselves outside a bookstore. You saw Jason’s eyes light up even if his face didn’t show it. He turned towards you, giving you his best puppy-dog eyes and pout.

“Oh, get in there you dork. But, don’t max out your dad’s credit card!” You said, successfully pushing him off you.

He leaned down to plant a kiss on your lips before shooting into the store like the Flash. “No promises!” He yelled over his shoulder.

While he was in the store living out his childhood fantasy, you decided to let your ankles rest since you had been on them for a few hours. Jason offered to carry you at one point, and though it was tempting, you declined.

You sat on a nearby bench while scrolling on your phone for a bit. Your head shot up when you spotted someone approaching you from the street. It was two girls, both who looked to be in their late 20s to early 30s, carrying concerned looks on their faces.

“Hi!” You spoke with a smile, waving to the women walking up to you.

“Hey, are you okay?” One of them asked when they got to you.

Now, you had a confused expression on yours.

“I’m sorry?” You responded with a puzzled eyebrow raised.

“We were across the street when we saw that guy grabbing you. We can walk with you to the police station if he’s harassing you.” The other woman said.

‘Were these chicks on crack?’ You thought.

“Um, I think there’s been some confusion–” You started but was interrupted by the door swinging open, an excited Jason springing out of the store.

“BABE! THEY’VE GOT A MINT-CONDITIONED PRIDE & PREJUDICE! Can I get it?! Please!!!” Jason shouted while running up to you and grabbing you by your arms.

You could barely keep off the amused smile on your face while looking around your boyfriend’s shoulder to see the two girls looking shocked and embarrassed by your giant for a boyfriend, begging you for a book like a kid.

Jason turned around as well, seeing the two women staring at you two while he just pulled you closer to his body, wrapping his arms around you.

“Who are your friends, Bugs?”

“Just some nice girls being friendly,” You answered before using your hand to turn Jason’s head back toward you. “Don’t you already have three copies at home, Jason? Why do you need another?”

“Okay, but those are all old copies and are falling apart. This one is BRAND NEW! Never been opened. Please!!!”

You could only sigh at his antics before turning back to the girls, “I’m fine, ladies. But, thank you for asking.”

They both nodded with embarrassment before walking off down the street, Jason watching them with a confused expression before looking down at you.

“What was that about?”

“Don’t worry about it.

This one also wasn’t so bad, but it was still annoying.

Your parents were out of town for a month for their anniversary, so you invited Jason over. When he got there and saw how your cupboards and fridge were damn near empty, he was upset at you for not telling him you had no food and your parents for not supplying you with anything.

Truth be told, they literally just forgot to go before they left. Jason always wondered where you got your forgetfulness from. Now, he knew.

So, he dragged you to your local wholesale store once again with his adoptive father’s credit card to stock and load your cabinets so you wouldn’t go hungry. Well, really so, Jason wouldn’t go hungry since he would be spending a lot of time at your place now. Again, the man was like a mountain, so of course, he ate like one.

You had been in the store for about 15 minutes, and already your cart was damn near half-full.

“Jay, don’t you think this is enough? We don’t have to get a bunch of stuff today.” You voiced, eyeing the growing basket with concern.

“Bugs, you can’t stay in your house for a month and not have any food. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you go hungry?” He responded while grabbing four boxes of your favorite cereal brands off the shelf and placing them neatly in the basket.

If it’s one thing that shocked you to learn about Jason was that he was very clean and organized with anything. You expected that trait more out of his brothers like Tim or Damian. But in truth, Tim was more of an organized chaos type of guy, and Damian was very simplistic, so he didn’t really need to organize much, except for his drawings and paintings, which he sometimes left scattered all over his desk.

Dick was a mess that couldn’t be saved. God bless the soul that ended up with that man.

But Jason was the cleanest out of all of them. The man could barely go two days without scrubbing down or re-organizing something. Again, you weren’t complaining. Every time he came over, he’d clean your room without you even asking.

“Okay, but my parents did leave me money to order out. Plus, I don’t want Bruce thinking I’m using you for money, or anything like that, especially since you keep taking his credit card.” You pointed out to which your boyfriend scoffed in response.

“Please, as much as that man has put me through, maxing out his credit card is the last thing he’s worried about me doing. And don’t worry, he and the rest of the family love you. Honestly, if it wasn’t for you dating me and the fact that you have great parents, I wouldn’t be surprised if the old man didn’t try to adopt you, which, if I haven’t mentioned this already, I don’t recommend.” He finished while heading further down the breakfast food aisle and grabbing boxes of Pop-Tarts.

“Fourth time.” You stated. Jason does not hold back regarding his tense relationship with his adoptive parent.

That was something you’d also been watching him work on.

When Jason met your parents and saw the relationship between your father and you, it opened up an emotional wound he wasn’t prepared for. And though he still had some resentment toward the Billionaire Playboy, aka the Dark Knight, for not sending Joker to the seventh ring of hell after his death, it didn’t mean he didn’t still care for and love the man. He just had mental blocks he needed to work through, and you’d be there to support him.

Jason was about to give you one of his dorky responses until he realized he forgot the credit card in your car.

“Shoot, I forgot the card in the car. Where’re your keys?” He asked.

You handed them to him, and he gave you a quick kiss and a slap on the ass with a warning to not put anything back before rushing towards the entrance/exit of the store. Rolling your eyes, you moved down the aisle scoffing at his warning. Of course, he knew you were going to try and put some of the items back. Just like you knew him better than himself sometimes, it was the same for him with you. He could predict your next move before it popped into your head which you found very cute but extremely annoying at times.

While you stood there for a few moments scrolling on your phone out of boredom, you heard a voice speak up behind you.

“Excuse me.”

You turned around to see two guys around your age standing behind you. You figured they were trying to get to something behind you, so you moved yourself and your cart out of the way.

“Oh, my bad. Here ya go.”

“No, no! Not that. We were just wondering if you needed help getting your car or getting away from that guy. We saw him drag you in here.”

You barely held back the eye roll that was itching in your skull. Yes, Jason did somewhat have to drag you into the store since you insisted that you didn’t need to go grocery shopping. But, what happened to common sense? If Jason truly was holding you hostage or had bad intentions for you, why in the world would he bring you to a grocery store out of all places?!

Seriously, what were they thinking? That he was going to stick a Fruit-Loops box over your head and torture you with your most hated juice flavor?

A small sigh escaped your mouth before you responded to the boys, “Okay, this is not what it looks like. That guy is my boyfriend, and we’re just grocery shopping. I promise I’m fine.” You assured the guys.

“Are you sure? He isn’t forcing you to say any of this, right? I know that guy’s intimidating, but we can call security or the police to help you.”

Before you could respond, you both heard the sounds of quick footsteps approaching from around the corner. You turned to see him holding a plate with two large slices of pepperoni pizza and a large orange soda.

“Babe, I got you two slices of pizza and your favorite soda from the food court. I know you haven’t eaten today, so I figured you could snack on this, and then we can get you some chicken tenders and fries from your favorite restaurant after we leave here.” He offered while handing you the plate, looking at you with the most adoring gaze.

This boy really did have your whole heart. You could only wonder what you did to deserve someone like him.

When Jason took note of the two other guys standing by you looking dumbfounded, his arm instantly found its way around your waist, pulling you into his side while eyeing the two boys suspiciously and on guard. Anyone that wasn’t your parents, best friend, or his family, Jason saw as a potential threat. Even his family sometimes was included in that list a few times, and living in Gotham, you could never be too careful.

And any excuse for Jason to show you as his to anyone else watching was always an appreciated opportunity.

“Can I help you, fellas?” Jason said, a stern tone in his voice while eyeing the two down with every menacing look he could muster in his eyes.

You’ve never seen two guys who looked like they wanted to shit their pants so bad and run in the opposite direction. They started stuttering out a response before you took pity on them.

“They’re fine, Jay. They were just trying to grab some cereal behind me. I was just moving out of their way.” You threw a look toward the boys, who looked at you confused before they caught on to what you were trying to say.

“Y-Yeah m-man. Just ... um gra-grabbing some Frosted flakes.” One of the dudes said, pointing his fingers toward the boxes right behind you.

Jason eyed that finger with malice before he felt your fingers turning his face toward you.

“Hey, stop it. I’m good. Now, are you going to let them get their cereal and let me eat my pizza before it gets cold?”

A small smile crossed his face while he backed you both up moving the cart as well. You ruffled his hair watching the two boys grab a box and run down the aisle with their tails between their legs. He let out his usual whine, using his other arm to fix his hair.

“Shut up, you big baby. You promised me chicken tenders and fries, so get a move on before I get a food attitude.”

Jason smirked at your words before the hand around your waist moved to your butt, palming and squeezing your cheeks under the ‘hoochie’ shorts you were wearing.

“I know something better that’ll fill you up and take care of that attitude for you.” He whispered in your ear before giving a nip.

At least you weren’t in front of the salads when this was happening.

This wasn’t bad. It was actually funny, and you got a friend out of it.

You and Jason were at the gym, getting a workout in. You decided you both liked going in the afternoon when it was less busy. It was leg and glutes day for you (per usual) while Jason was working chest and shoulders.

Two of your favorite body parts on him, including his arms, but that’s not important.

Now, you both agreed when you went to the gym that you would do your workouts separately but your warm-ups and cardio together. So, at some point, Jason was on the Smith machine doing a shoulder bench press while you were on another bench doing Bulgarian split squats.

Of course, the gym was a place where people met each other all the time. And, in many of those meetings and interactions, people would find others attractive and want to date or hook up with them. You were no exception to these rules. You were approached many times by both girls and guys, but you always politely declined. Well, you tried at least before Jason walked over and made it clear who you were with.

It was no secret to anyone that Jason did not only get easily jealous at the thought of you giving your attention and time away to someone who was not him, but he was also the living definition of anger issues. Match that with his very selfish and possessive attitude towards you, and you had a man ready and WILLING to do just about anything to anyone who dared lay a finger on you in the wrong way.

So, whenever someone deemed themselves stupid brave enough to approach you and flirt a little or leave a teasing touch to one of your arms, you’d try to give them a warning but it was always too late. They’d quickly find a towering shadow looming over them and turned to see a less than pleased Jason staring down at them with his bulging arms crossed over his chest. These being one of the few moments Jason gladly showed off his scars because they communicated his message quickly and effectively.

Back. The. Fuck. Off.

That was usually enough to get them to do just that. Most of the time, at least.

There always ended up being at least one guy or girl who wouldn’t take no for an answer. This time, it was a guy who kept finding himself next to you during your sets. Jason was watching you from afar with hooded and irritated eyes as he also noticed your gym shadow moving around with you.

The guy decided to play smart and keep his hands off you since he could tell your brute of a boyfriend was watching his every move. The only reason he didn’t do anything was because he knew if he did, the guy could claim Jason as the aggressor, and since this was your favorite gym because your college’s gym was always crowded, he didn’t want to risk you getting in trouble and banned.

So, when Jason went to the bathroom, the creep took advantage of the moment and offered to ‘spot’ you on your set of squats with the smith machine, which you were sure was just an excuse for him to get behind you so he could ogle your ass and ��accidentally’ grind his dirty crotch into it.

Luckily, a girl working out nearby noticed your uncomfortable stance when the man came over to ‘help’ you while you were setting up and immediately stopped her workout to shoo him away.

“Dude, he’s clearly not interested. So either go and finish your workout or pack up and get out!”

He tried to get defensive and argue with her, but when she revealed her boyfriend was one of the owners and threatened to have him kicked out and banned, he finally backed off. He made sure to point out how you weren’t even all the hot anyway to mask his hurt pride while you threw an appreciative look toward her.

When he left and Jason returned from the bathroom, the girl unleashed her rage on him as well.

“And you too! I’ve seen you harassing and stalking him all over the gym. I’ll kick your ass out too and have you banned if you don’t leave him alone.” She scolded the dark-haired man.

Jason looked confused while you just laughed before grabbing his arm and pulling him to you, “Nah, don’t worry about him. This one’s good.” You said, reaching up to ruffle his hair, even though you had to stretch a little bit.

Jason pouted down at you in childish anger, “I told you don’t do that! Do you know how long it takes to get this in the right floppy position?” He whined while trying to fix his hair.

She looked back and forth between you two before realization dawned upon her.

“Boyfriend who’s a menace to everyone but is a total baby when around you?”

You gasped, “Girl, how’d you know?”

“Mine’s the exact same.”

“Oh, we’re gonna be great friends.” You declared.

Okay, this time, it was lowkey your fault, but still. People should be able to tell the difference between an actual cry for help and a joke.

Jason decided to take you to one of his favorite cafes in Gotham since you were in desperate need of a study break. You picked up some classes over the summer, so the schedule was much more tightly packed since they had to speed up a four-month course into two with the semester being divided into two sections.

Jason was sitting on one of the lounge chairs reading while you were sipping on some apple juice and reading a fanfic story on your phone. Whether or not it was smut was not important and nobody would be able to tell by the look on your face. At least until you read over one particular part that had you gasping out loud which managed to catch your boyfriend’s attention.

“What?”

“Nothing.” You quickly said, liking the fic quickly and closing the browser, knowing Jason was not going to drop it.

“Uh uh, Bugs. What were you looking at?” He asked, setting his book on the table and moving over to your side of the table.

“Nothing Jay! I promise it was nothing.”

“Oh really? So you wouldn’t mind if I looked at your phone then?”

You felt your cheeks heat up while Jason took notice of your tense stance, peering at you and your phone while slowly leaning toward you from his crouched stance.

“Let me see your phone.”

“No.”

“Give me your phone.”

“I said no.”

“Bugs,” Jason said, now mocking a stern look on his face, “Give. Me. Your. Phone.”

He held out his hand for emphasis, and you felt your fingers reflexively tighten around your smart device. You stared back at him with your own dour expression, “No. Means. No.”

You both stared into each other’s eyes for a moment before he suddenly grabbed at your phone, attempting to snatch it from your hand. It became a tug-of-war over the device while you both consciously tried not to be too much of a disturbance to the other patrons of the cafe.

This is where it accidentally was your fault.

“Help! Assault! Violence! Thief!”

You thought you were shouting it quietly, but there was a reason your family always told you to quiet down when you thought you were speaking at a normal volume. You got it from your mother really. Strong voices and all…

“Dude, fucking back off!”

You both heard the deep voice shout before you watched a guy tackle Jason to the ground, feeling hands coming to your side.

“Oh my god, are you okay?!” This random brunette said while checking you over to make sure you weren’t hurt.

You were FINE. However, you were worried as hell now. Not for Jason at all, cause… Well, ya know.

You were scared for the other guy that had tackled Jason. Your boyfriend did NOT do well with physical touch, considering how long it took him to get comfortable with just cuddling with you. Let alone sudden physical touch? And the man is used to fighting criminals at night and having to be on guard 24/7 if he feels something suddenly grab or touch him? Yeah, you were hoping this didn’t end in a trip to the precinct like last time.

Don’t ask.

“I’m fine. But, I do suggest you quickly get your friend off my boyfriend before he has to go to the hospital.” You assured the girl while warning her at the same time.

She looked at you confused, “Boyfriend? Wait, huh? We thought that guy was attacking you and trying to steal your phone. And don’t worry, my boyfriend’s a professional kickboxer. He can handle him.”

‘Yeah. Mine has anger issues and was trained by Batman and can re-load two guns in under twenty seconds with his arms tied behind his back.’

“AH!”

You both turned your heads to see Jason holding the other guy in a chokehold while looking up at you.

“Aww, man! He spilled my coffee over my book.” Jason whined, “Babe, can you get me another one, please?”

“Yes, Jason. Can you do me a favor and let him go before you break his neck?”

Jason rolled his eyes before releasing the guy, who went into a coughing fit on the ground as he caught his breath.

When he sat back at the table as the girl went to help her boyfriend off the floor after giving you both weird looks, he set your phone on the surface, eyeing you with a quizzical look.

“What?” You asked after he stared at you for a few more minutes.

“Really? Yandere?”

Your heart jumped in your chest, and you were ready to bolt for the door.

“So, all those times you swore you weren’t trying to make me jealous just to get a reaction outta me, were you actually just trying to get me to tie you up and lock you in my room?” He said with a dark look in his eyes and a cheeky smirk on his lips.

HOT BOY DOWN! I REPEAT, HOT BOY DOWN!

Now, this was just ridiculous. Of course, it made sense, but you were thoroughly pissed off when it happened.

You and Jason had returned to his apartment after having dinner with his family at Wayne Manor. Bruce decided he wanted to have at least one family dinner a month, and since you were considered an honorary Wayne and everyone loved you, of course, you were invited. Jason, on the other hand, was still hesitant.

Even though he was working on his relationship with Bruce and trying to move past his mental scars, his family still brought up some sensitive subjects for him. Typically, they made his insecurities flare up a lot more. You were Jason’s safe space. So, he wasn’t really keen on mixing the things that made him question himself and the person who made him feel the most loved and secure together.

You didn’t push, still wanting to go at his pace and let him bring you around more when he was ready. The day of the dinner, you figured he either had a change of heart or somebody had talked to Jason and convinced him to bring you along, and you had a great time. Jason was a bit quiet throughout the evening, but you could see a small part of him was happy at seeing how you integrated well into his family dynamic. He took great pleasure in how you humbled Dick a few times as well.

But, something was off, but you couldn’t tell what it was. You knew Jason was usually the quieter one out of the rest of his siblings. When you were around, he showed more of his goofiness and playful side. You barely saw that at all tonight. You knew he was watching you as you made conversation with Bruce, argued back and forth with Damian, repeatedly told Tim he needed to get more sleep, snapped photos with Steph, joked with Duke, and even learned a little sign language from Cass.

He watched as you offered to help Alfred with the dishes, who respectfully declined, but did make his appreciation known to you and the others, especially Tim.

“I offer to help you sometimes, Alfred!” Tim shouted while chasing after the butler offering his help.

Usually, Jason would laugh at any moment that came at the expense of Tim’s sanity.

None of that happened.

So, when you got back to his place, you asked him what was wrong. He remained silent as he just looked at you, but you could see there was a storm behind his eyes. When you came up to rub his arm and hug him, his hands shot up to your neck, wrapping around it firmly but not tight to where you couldn’t breathe.

Your hands grabbed his wrists as he maneuvered you against the wall that connected the living room to the kitchen. He placed his lips roughly on yours, forcing his tongue into your mouth while never loosening his hold on your neck.

“Mine. Not theirs, mine.” He muttered against your lips before quickly taking his hands off your neck, ripping your clothes off while ridding himself of his.

In less than two minutes, Jason had you pressed back against the wall, your legs wrapped around his waist, and his long and girthy member tucked deep inside your ass, fucking you with hard and menacing thrusts. His large and rough hands were back around your neck, now squeezing around your neck as you moaned breathlessly against him.

Jason took immense pride in your sounds of satisfaction and whining, increasing his already brutal pace in your guts while slowly stealing more of your breath away. Jason’s hard breaths pounded against your face as he stared at your now sweaty and ragged body, limping weakly against him. You placed your arms on his shoulder but were careful to avoid his neck, knowing that along with some other areas on his body were off-limits unless specified otherwise.

This was the dynamic between you two always. Anyone could see how Jason was wrapped around your finger in public and even in private whenever you two were just lounging around and relaxing. In these moments, you were fully under Jason’s authority. You lay completely at his mercy while he dominated your body and controlled where, when, and how you got pleasured.

The who rarely came into question as though your boyfriend had considered it a few times, you didn’t see a day likely where Jason’s jealousy and possessiveness would let him allow someone else to see you in this manner. No, you were for his eyes only.

And the why, well that was simple. Jason had needs, you had needs. And, no one was better suited to fulfill those needs than your boyfriend. Though with him, anything could spark those needs at any given time. Whether the dark-haired boy was just feeling horny and wanted some ass. You decided to wear a tempting outfit, and he decided he was going to right then and there he would have you, whether in the house, in the car, or in public, it didn’t matter. If he felt you were being a little too friendly with someone else, he’d be happy to remind you about who you belonged to. The why was simple; if Jason wanted you, he would have you. No ifs, and’s, or but’s about it.

“J-Jason... nngh p-please-” You begged, feeling yourself nearing the edge as your dick was crushed between Jason and your hot and sweaty abdomens.

“Say my name again,” He ordered, feeling how he flexed his dick inside you while still pounding your sore hole.

His name fell from your lips in a needy moan as you felt his fingers pressing against your windpipes. You could feel how the wall behind you became slick from your sweat as your body jutted up and down against it with Jason’s increasingly erratic thrusts.

He grunted in approval of your increasingly loud whines as you both approached your climaxes. Jason fully squeezed your neck at this point as he punched your insides with his cock. Your own member was feeling the pressures as well as it repeatedly smashed against Jason’s abs before you reached your end, screaming out in blissful agony.

Jason came to his finish with his own groan as you felt him bury himself with his cum deep inside you. You let out soft little whines feeling his appendage throb against your walls. Even though you knew he didn’t like hands around his neck, he didn’t object to you rubbing a hand down his nape. He gave you a warning glance at first, but when he felt your soft hands rubbing up and down his skin, he visibly relaxed, placing a kiss on your cheek.

The quiet and sweet moment though was abruptly ruined by the sound of Jason’s front door being kicked in and heavy boots rushing into his apartment.

“GOTHAM P.D.!” You heard the intruders shout.

Of all the fucking things…

Well, when the cops came around and found you and your naked boyfriend against the wall, and his hands around your neck, you had to admit it didn’t look good.

You had to quickly explain to the officers it wasn’t what it looked like and that everything was consensual. Against the orders of the cops, Jason did not move one inch off the wall, keeping your body covered with his. He’d sooner dip himself in another Lazarus Pit than let these arrogant blue caps have even the smallest peek at you.

So, with a little charm and finesse, you convinced the cops to walk out and let you and him get dressed. Jason couldn’t decide what he was more upset about.

The fact that his door was off its hinges, or that one of his neighbors called the cops on him thinking Jason had been abusing you, or that your private moment was intruded upon and some pervy cops basically saw you naked.

Yeah, he was going to be extra brutal on patrol tonight.

After a call was made to Commonionser Gordon at Jason’s request, the cops dropped everything and left you two alone when Gordon made it clear this was a bogus call. “Jason? Abusing Y/N? That boy is the biggest simp this city’s ever seen. Whoever called that in was obviously misinformed.”

Even if it was true, Jason didn’t appreciate being called a simp. He didn’t deny it, though.

You could barely hold back your laughs to which your boyfriend responded with a harsh smack to your very sore ass. It was a wonder how you were even standing on your legs as they still felt like jelly.

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t see him in that manner.”

“No way, he’s way too sweet and innocent to be like that.”

“Dude, have you met your own boyfriend?”

These were all things said to Jason when he would complain to them about how he was tired of everyone thinking he was a threat to you and not seeing the truth. If anything, you were more of a threat to Jason and honestly, should be placed on a national security watch list for some of the things that have come out of your mouth.

The only one who really knew and understood what Jason was talking about was your best friend, who was the first one to warn Jason. The boy didn’t believe him either at first and ended up finding out the hard way.

Well, it looked like Jason’s brothers were also about to find out as they had come to your school’s campus looking for him. You were happy to see the Wayne siblings, as some time had passed since the last dinner. For some reason, seeing how easily you interacted with his brothers drove up Jason’s jealousy to a new level. As soon as they showed up, Jason placed you on his lap, and you could feel his prominent bulge throbbing under you. You knew immediately you were in for it when you both got home.

When you got up to go to the bathroom, Jason was going to follow you, intending to give you a little preview of what to expect in the stalls, but was stopped by Dick, who said they had something important they needed to talk to him about.

Before that could happen, a new presence appeared at your table, and your best friend visibly and audibly groaned at who it was.

“Hi there.” Jason heard a sickly sweet voice say, turning to see another boy he’d heard of.

“Xavion.” Jason heard your best friend mutter under his breath.

He knew that name. He’d heard you curse it and mutter it in irritation and anger plenty of times. He purposefully went out of his way to piss you off and pick with you on multiple occasions. He also thought that because his dads were rich and gave him everything he wanted, he was entitled to anything and everything, including other people’s significant others.

No one knew what started the rivalry between you two, but they knew it got cemented when he had sex with your first college boyfriend while you guys were dating and then went on to sleep with any guy you had the slightest attraction to.

So, Jason would be no different when he placed himself a little too close for the dark-haired boy’s liking, trying to maneuver himself away.

“I’ve seen you around on campus before. Are you a student here?”

“Xavion, don’t you have someone else to harass and stalk?” Your best friend commented with an irritated eye roll.

The boy in question only threw a dirty glance at your comrade before turning back to your boyfriend, taking considerable delight in looking him up and down, “Damn, aren’t you a big boy. You’re Y/N’s boyfriend, right? Gotten bored yet?”

Everyone tensed at that, watching how Xavion only got bolder in his flirting, “I’d understand if you did. Y/N’s just not that interesting, and honestly, a little ran through. I’d be happy to show you other options though,” He voiced with a suggestive tone.

Dick, Tim, and Damian watched with slightly nervous eyes as the promiscuous boy moved his hand that was caressing Jason’s arm and placed it around his neck, waiting for the ball to drop as the second Wayne kid's hands began to twitch on the table.

Before anyone could move to stop it, they saw Xavion get literally yanked off of Jason and onto the ground. Your boyfriend and his siblings along with your best friend who began to cheer your name watched as you dragged the slut onto the ground by the back of his shirt and proceeded to WHALE on him.

No one had noticed you coming back from the bathroom, too busy watching Xavion rub his hands all over your boyfriend. When you got closer and saw what was happening, you immediately saw red and picked up your pace, only to dash into a mad sprint when you saw his hand touch Jason’s neck.

Jason after breaking out of his stunned trance immediately ran over to pull you off the screaming boy who was crying for help. Dick and Tim ran over to pull Xavion out of your grasp, just barely managing to save him from what would have been a devastating kick from your boot to his face.

“Touch my boyfriend again and see what happens bitch!” You shouted out at the boy. Luckily, you were in a secluded part of campus, so no one had seen the fight. But, when Xavion had gotten off the ground looking thoroughly fucked up, he tried to run up on you, seeing Jason holding you back and thinking he had an open shot.

Little did he or Jason expect, you used your smaller stature to slip out of Jason’s hold and rushed the boy before kicking your leg up and landing that hit that was taken from you earlier. You took sick satisfaction hearing and feeling the crunch under your foot as it connected with his nose.

Dick, Tim, and Damian watched in complete shock seeing you beat the shit out of this boy. Now, they could really see why you and Jason were such a good match for each other.

When Jason got you back in his arms, he made sure to hold on a little tighter to you so you couldn’t slip away again. Dick and Tim had to help the sobbing boy cradling his broken nose, saying they would take him to the emergency room.

Jason pulled you both back towards the table, sitting you down on his lap as he held your hands down. He could not help how hard he was under you and didn’t care to hide it. Watching that display had him a different level of horny and he frankly couldn’t wait to take you home.

After a few moments passed and you settled down, everyone looked up to the sound of a throat clearing.

“Todd, I don’t know if I ever told you this before,” Damian started, looking at you both with his usual judgemental stare, “...Good job.” He said with a nod toward you.

You were both surprised, Jason especially, as neither of you had ever heard the youngest Robin give out a compliment.

“If you screw this up somehow, which I have little doubt that you’ll find a way, I will not hesitate to end you.”

There was the Damian you both knew.

“I second that motion,” Your best friend added to which you just laughed.

“Shut it, gremlin.” Jason retorted before squeezing you against his body.

“Don’t worry, Damian. I don’t think Jason will do anything to screw this up. Besides, if he does do something stupid, he’ll have me to worry about.” You said, a mischievous twinkle in your eye.

You heard Jason growl lowly against you before grinding you into his lap, letting you feel his hardness poking you through your shorts. You popped his arm to which he responded with a pinch on your ass, your best friend watching in disgusted amusement.

“You two make me sick.”

“Back at you, ugly.” You responded.

Damian turned his head, looking in the direction where Dick and Tim took Xavion to an ER room, “I despise harlots.”

“OH! Speaking of which, thank you, Damian, for reminding me.” You said before leaning over Jason to grab your bag and pull out your laptop.

“What are you doing?” Your boyfriend asked.

“Insurance. I knew the day would come when that hoe went too far. So just in case he decides to go to the university about this little spat, I’m emailing a detailed description of how everything went down, along with photos and evidence of his affairs with various teachers and staff. To them, it will look like Xavion attacked me out of retaliation because he thought I would snitch on him about his sexual misconduct. Now, tell me, babe, did you feel physically violated?” You asked while making various edits to your already drafted email.

“Huh?” Jason replied confused.

“Just say yes.” Your best friend told him with a smirk.

“Um, yes? I think…”

“Perfect! Putting that down for the record, so, if that slut decides to try to get me in trouble, I can show I had completely justifiable reasons to hand him his ass on a concrete platter.” You stated a little too cheerily to be considered not disturbing.

Your best friend was not surprised by this at all, while Damian and Jason looked at you like you had two heads.

“Isn’t the expression ‘silver platter?’” Damian pointed out.

“Yeah, but I dragged his ass up and down on concrete, so it’s a concrete platter today.”

You looked up to see the two Robins staring at you.

“What? Bitches fucked around, so bitches found out. Don’t blame me.” You said while continuing to type.

“I fucking love you,” Jason said while biting at your ear lobe, making you laugh.

Damian could only scoff as he watched you two.

“And people swear Todd’s the threat.”

☀️ | Jason Todd/Red Hood | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

1K notes · View notes

kjhbsies · 6 months ago

Text

The Disaster Zone

HELP PALESTINE • daily click • donation links • ways to help • why you should not buy/support TLOU2 remaster

Roomate!Abby Anderson x reader

Synopsis: Living with the hottest girl wasn't that bad, right? Except that she was completely straight and has a boyfriend you hate.

wordcount: 7, 758

note: this fiction contains (internal) homophobia and comphet as Abby explores her sexuality. if you were uncomfortable with these kinds of stories, then maybe this isn't for you. please refrain from commenting on any hate comments. thank you and happy reading!

Sweat prickled from your forehead, trickling down your face, and across your neck and you almost yelled in frustration at the feeling of getting overstimulated over everything. You sighed irritatingly, trudging your way outside of the apartment you just viewed.

One week before the class starts and you still haven’t got a place to live and stressful is such an understatement to say. No, it’s much more than that. You never thought that finding a decent place to stay for two semesters wasn’t hard but no — it was like searching for a needle in a haystack, and the needle was just a reasonably priced apartment with no angry roommates.

You grumbled, laying your head on the couch of your bedroom. You pulled out your phone, scrolling through the listings of the apartments available, feeling the stress building with each rejected option.

But to your luck, you stumbled upon someone’s ad. It was a nice, cozy place that was perfect in size for two people. Her name was Abby Anderson, her last name was quite familiar but you couldn’t pinpoint where you heard it. Her place looked promising enough, and the reason she was finding a roommate was that she couldn’t pay all the house bills by herself. Under that, there was a deadline — which was supposed to be today, so you mindlessly hit the ‘call’ button with no second thought.

“Hello?” Abby’s voice came through the other line, her voice was deep and businesslike.

“Hey, uh, I saw your ad for the apartment,” You replied while nibbling through your fingertips.

“Oh, great. Are you interested in visiting it?” She asked, her tone was still cool and detached.

“Yes, please, I need it so bad.” You bit your lips while nervousness came through.

“Alright. Let’s set up a time, then. Are you free this afternoon?”

“Yes.”

“Great. I’ll send you the address.” She said before hanging up quickly.

You stared at your phone for a minute, finding the interaction a bit… awkward. A sense of relief washed over you as the thought of finally finding a place to stay for the whole academic year was done, but something about Abby made you feel anxious. Her coldness scared you for a second — even if you just talked to her for a couple of minutes.

But no, you promised yourself that this was the last time you’d reject a place because of a bad roommate. So you don’t have a choice but to go.

Arriving at the address, you knocked at the door thrice. Seconds later, you saw the Abby Anderson. You gulped, taking in her features. She was tall, stoic, and… unimpressed. She was wearing a simple black shirt that perfectly hugged her toned body, making you gawk mentally. Her eyes bore into yours, looking at you from head to toe. Something inside Abby’s mind twitched as she did not expect how good you looked. But she immediately strayed away from that thought, minding no attention to it.

“Thanks for coming. I apologize for my appearance — I just got off the gym.” She says in a neutral voice, opening the door wide open. “Come on in.”

“It’s fine.” You said before stepping inside.

The apartment was bigger than you expected — much bigger than the photos she uploaded. The furniture was complete and the choice of its design was very intricate and extravagant — you wondered if she bought it all with her money. Maybe she spent her money buying decorations which is why she couldn’t pay the house bills.

The huge windows perfectly let the sunlight in, casting a warm glow through the whole place. You admired how neat it was, and how everything was in place. Not even a small piece of trash in sight. As Abby showed you around, pointing out every amenities and quirks of this place, you couldn’t help but admire her silently.

“So what do you think?” She looked back at you suddenly, making you snap out of a trance.

“Oh! Uh, yeah, I like it.” You shot her a smile. “This was much better than all of the places I’ve checked.”

Abby nodded, taking your answer without further comment or questions. You looked away, feeling nervous at the closeness between you two. With the whole three hours of you and her in just an enclosed space, Abby did not look at you. Something about your presence makes her uncomfortable and she did not know what that is.

But then she looked at you for the second time, taking a couple of minutes to stare at your features without you knowing. Abby did not know why it was so hard for her to accept that you were pretty. No, you were something more than that. And she did not know what that was, or what was doing to her that was making her heart churn.

“Damn it,” Abby looked away and cursed under her breath.

You snapped your neck to stare at her. “What was that?” You asked.

“Nothing. It seems like you are interested. Are you open to discussing the other details?” She said, gesturing at the couch.

And just like that, the deal was done.

And oh, that was one month ago.

You and Abby are still living with each other. But all of your admiration for her was over.

She has a whole-ass boyfriend.

And she’s straight as hell.

Now, you hate each other to the core.

Turns out, Abby Anderson wasn’t renting because she was poor. Technically, at that time, she was. However, you found out that her family was crazy rich and could probably buy your entire bloodline.

The reason that she was finding a roommate to share the apartment with was that her father limited her expenses in the meantime as Abby spent a huge sum of money in the casino while on a summer break, causing her dad to deduct some money from her allowance.

Abby Anderson was the typically rich person you’d meet. She has a puppy she recently adopted one sunny day and she named Oreo — a St. Bernard. Ever since, there has been a new joy in the apartment, breaking the awkward tension between you and Abby that was lingering in the air. You learned how to love Oreo despite his unwavering energy.

Being an only child, Abby doesn’t have anyone to share things that her parents buy her, and developing a trait of being territorial over those she owns. However, seeing you play with her puppy, and how your face lit up every time Oreo cuddled with her, Abby could not put an end to your joy for whatever reason she couldn’t figure out. She just liked to think that she was just being a kind person and to not be an asshole for no apparent reason, and nothing else.

On the other side, you were grateful that Abby was letting you play with her dog. Because, truth be told, you were still getting tensed whenever she was around. And Oreo definitely warms up the place much more.

You didn’t know that being roommates with Abby Anderson could make everything so complicated. She was the top student in class, always ranking high in their department, and was considered one of the top notchers in the university already. Her dad was a famous surgeon in the city and was respected by many, and Abby definitely wanted to prove that she could be like her father — or better. She only has two friends — Nora and Mel, whom you only saw in the hallways of your university alongside her. Abby was a mysterious person, and even though you were now living for a month with her, you did not know much about her.

She wasn’t a talkative person, and you two never interacted with each other so much. You could definitely count the times she has spoken to you with your one finger. Her after school would be changing into gym clothes, making and eating a snack in the kitchen, and then leaving. She would go back at 7:00 PM and would go straight inside the bathroom and into her bed.

But let’s talk about the real issue here.

Her boyfriend.

Owen was a gym rat guy who sported short brown hair, brown eyes, and a small mustache around his chin. Abby introduced you to him when she first invited him over, and you found out that he was much older than Abby. At first, you weren’t bothered by her presence since he seemed okay and not much of a harm. However, as Abby was inviting him over and over again, something inside you grew uncomfortable.

Maybe it was because whenever he was around, you’d often see him giving you dirty looks that sent shivers up your spine, or that he liked to fully make out with Abby in different spots in the apartment outside of Abby’s room, or that every time Owen and Abby were cuddling or doing sweet things with each other, you’d caught her staring at you from time to time.

“Really?!” Dina exclaimed through the phone as you were narrating the last line to her.

“I really do want to know why.” You grabbed a bag of chips before walking away from the kitchen.

“Maybe she likes you?”

You stopped walking when you saw Abby and Owen cuddling in the living room, her head was placed on Owen’s shoulder as they both watched a silly movie. You sighed, “No, I think it’s actually the opposite of it.”

It was an exceptionally good day at Pinecrest University, one of the most prestigious schools in the U.S. which everyone dreamt of attending. From the picturesque sceneries of the landscapes where it was built, and to the educational qualities it provides, it was, in fact, no doubt one of the greatest universities in the world.

Abby did not know whether or not she would be happy that she was given an opportunity to take after her father's steps — follow his path and become like what he is — a great surgeon. In the first year, she was giddy to study, with full of hope and dreams. Everyone recognizes her for being Jerry Anderson’s only daughter, praising her for being intelligent like he was. Abby was every professor’s favorite student as she possesses exceptional skills in everything. While it was good at first, Abby did not like the pressure weighing up on her shoulders as time passed by. Being someone who everyone expects to be good at everything all the time, makes her become careful of her actions as she becomes afraid of making mistakes.

“What?” Leah snapped her neck in Abby’s direction.

“Nothing. Thought I heard something.” Abby shook her head.

“You know what I heard earlier?” Nora looked at Abby, eyes gleaming with mischief with a small smirk plastered on her face.

“What?” The blonde furrowed her brows before sitting on an empty spot at the library.

“Y/n Y/l/n. Your roommate.”

Leah’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped, “You’re roommates with her?” She exclaimed in a hushed tone.

The lines on Abby’s face deepened as she looked at her friends, not knowing what the fuss was about. “What about her?”

Nora was about to say something when, as if on cue, you started to walk behind her, trudging away from their table but not without a quick glance at Abby, who, to your surprise, was already staring at you with curiosity.

You were not one to back down, so you held her gaze up until you sat beside Ellie who was finishing her homework that was due this afternoon.

“Who was that?” Dina asked, looking back.

“My roommate.”

“Oh! The one who–” Dina started gesturing and muttering words that you could only understand.

“What the fuck,” Ellie cursed loudly as she stared at you two with pure astonishment.

“She’s friends with Williams,” Abby uttered with a surprise.

“Yeah, everyone’s been suspecting that they’re more than that,” Nora said.

“Than what? They’re super best friends or something?” Abby folded her arms on her chest before taking a quick glance in your direction. She found you laughing along with your friends, but something inside her was stirring as she saw Ellie’s hands crawling at your torso, dangerously close to where your hips at.

Nora and Leah chuckled loudly.

“What the fuck? Super best friends?” Leah looked at her with pure amusement. “Oh I forgot, you don’t get it–” She turned to Nora. “She doesn’t get it.” She says, pointing her thumb at the blonde.

“Okay, in straight girl terms, Ellie and Y/n might be a couple,” Nora explained.

“But Ellie’s a girl,” Abby says, confused.

Nora and Leah exchanged glances. “You won’t ever get it, can you?”

“What?” Abby’s eyes widened. “Wait– Is Y/n… gay?”

“You say that word as if it’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever muttered.” Nora glared at her. “Yes, she’s gay, Abs. Apparently, she’s a great kisser, too.”

“I can’t believe she’s gay.” Abby sighed, something inside her was growing uncomfortable.

“Abby, that’s a mean thing to say.” Nora frowned. “What if she was? There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I know! But I mean, I don’t know, it’s confusing.”

“It isn’t. Y/n likes a girl and that shouldn’t change the way you view her. It’s just a sexuality, she’s not gonna bite you.”

Abby stared in your direction, contemplating and thinking about everything. months of studying different kinds of textbooks every week couldn’t prepare her for the said subject. Sexuality was something that she was not well-informed about as the topic stirred something inside of her. Being raised in a conservative and religious family who has a well-known image to take care of made her realize that her world was much different than yours.

After a long day of work in the laboratory, doing research on different chemicals, monitoring their progress, and waiting for the results, Abby felt like she was going to collapse right when she stepped foot onto the hotel’s lobby where your shared apartment was located.

She sighed, forcing a fake smile to greet the receptionist.

“Hey, Liam, did you see Owen come in?” She asked, leaning at the desk.

“No, I don’t think so, Abby.” He says, offering an apologetic smile before attending to another elderly woman who is asking for something.

Being with Owen at such a young age means that Abby had experienced everything that is there to experience whenever you are in a relationship with a shitty person. Sure, she wouldn’t admit that Owen was a bad boyfriend to her, but she knew that he wasn’t a good person either.

Abby sighed before dragging her feet through the floors, growing very tired at each step. Now, if this was the first time that Owen had gone through the entire day without checking up on her, being with clubs with different girls dangling on both her arms, Abby would’ve been crying all her way to her room – just like what she did before. But being the person who became accustomed to this setup with her boyfriend, Abby could only grow numb, only feeling a faint sharp pain dragging through her heart, reminding her that she chose to be with him so she had to deal with it.

Besides, no one ever wants Owen for her.

Not her friends,

Not her dad,

And she won’t be surprised if you’ll tell her that you hate him, too.

“Where are you?” Abby hissed through the phone, feeling the rage consuming her as she listened to Owen stumble and slur through his words, finding great difficulty to even remember who was calling him.

“Abby baby! I’m uh- sorry, I was at a—” Owen’s voice was getting drowned by the loud music, along with different voices from his friends and a couple of giggles from different girls in the background.

“Bullshit.” Abby cursed him before ending the call. She wanted to just quickly disappear right there and then, feeling like an absolute shit so many times.

“Hey,” You greeted, placing a gentle hand around her shoulder.

Abby jolted, almost feeling like your touch was too hot for her skin. “Yeah? You scared me.”

“Oh! Sorry! Didn’t mean to do that,” You apologized profusely, “I thought you were sick.” You gestured to your face, and Abby mindlessly touched her forehead, feeling the cold sweat on the palms of her hand.

She cursed under her breath. Now that you’ve pointed it out, Abby felt her vision swirling as her breathing got labored. Even if she couldn’t look at her face, she could assume that she was pale already. But instead of saying that she was indeed not okay, she dismissed your question by saying, “I’m perfectly fine.”

Abby tried to walk, but then she almost tripped with her fifth step. Before she could kiss the tiled floor, you caught her body, wrapping a delicate arm around her hip to help her stabilize her stance.

“Quit being stubborn, okay?” You said, stopping her from even uttering a single protest when she opened her lips. You looked at her sternly, making her go silent.

As much as Abby hated to be close to you at the moment, she couldn’t move. Not when her mind had shut down the moment your warm fingertips touched her waist, not when your face inched closer to hers, and not when your smell lingered around the air and started to consume Abby whole.

You did not know which force on the entire earth had given you the energy to drag Abby all the way to your shared apartment. To be fair, Abby’s body was toned and muscular, given the time that she was working at the gym, and not only you could feel her weight leaning upon your much smaller figure, but you were also touching her well-earned biceps and abs.

“Okay, lean in there for a second and I’ll just open the door.” You commanded, carefully releasing your grip from Abby’s body as she leaned towards the cold wall while waiting for you to get your keys from the bag. Abby watched you silently with wandering eyes, feeling a sense of disappointment gushing through when you stopped touching her.

“Shit.” Abby cursed loudly while screwing her eyes shut.

“What?” You asked before lightly pushing the door, revealing a very excited Oreo who had been barking since he saw you.

“N-nothing.” Abby stammered when you enveloped her in your hands once again. Her heart thrummed inside her chest, reaching the vibrations to her ears and all she could think about at that moment was your name.

Y/n.

“Abby?” You asked, placing her on the sofa carefully. Y/n.

“Y/n.”

“Is there something I could help you with?” You waved your hand in front of her eyes, making Abby snap out of the trance. She blinked rapidly, trying to focus her gaze on your eyes and your eyes only. But Abby found it so hard especially when your face were so much closer to her that she could feel your breath fanning over her lightly.

“What?” Abby asked.

“You were calling my name.”

Shit.

“Am I?”

“Look, just… lay there and make yourself comfortable, okay? I’m just going to cook for you.”

“Ah, there’s no need. I can order–” Abby opened her phone, face getting sour at seeing her wallpaper — Owen.

“This won’t take long. And I really am good at cooking so trust me.” You flashed her a sweet smile before rushing to the kitchen.

“For sure…” Abby whispers, watching how your skirt dances perfectly as you walk, hugging your curves. When she realized that she was staring at your ass, Abby shut her eyes tightly, pinching her nose bridge while telling herself to get a fucking grip.

True to your words, you were a great cook.

Abby found herself in a blanket-clad position as she sipped at the bowl slowly, not wanting to make it seem that she was so eager to taste the soup. Which, in her opinion, was probably the best one she had ever taken. She was almost thankful that you insisted on cooking for her, instead of buying a delivery from a fast food chain — something that she has always done whenever she was sick.

“Are you feeling better?” You asked, sitting at the loveseat in front of her while brushing Oreo’s fur with your fingers. The dog wags his tail joyfully, making Abby smile.

“Yes. Thank you.” She sighed. “I think I’m just over-fatigue.”

“You should probably rest. Ditch the school works, it’s Friday.”

“I know, I will.” Abby nods.

“Good.” You stood up. “I’ll clean up for a bit. Call my name if you need something.”

“Sure.” Abby put on a tight-lipped smile. You nod before making your way to your bedroom. “I enjoyed it.”

“What?” You turned around, looking at her.

“The soup. It was the best.” Abby bit the inside of her cheek, feeling her face heating up.

You smiled widely, heart swelling with pride and joy as you heard her compliment, “Thanks.” You said before entering your own bed, gently closing the door before you almost squeak in pure bliss.

But that was short-lived as you realized that she’s Abby Anderson.

And she’s way out of your league.

After lounging in her bedroom for a day while ignoring everyone’s texts and calls, Abby had never felt much alive.

Maybe it was due to the fact that she got enough sleep and rest, not seeing Owen, or maybe because of you. As much as Abby still never felt comfortable enough with your presence near her, she was thankful for being roommates with you.

It is true that you two weren’t friends, to begin with. Abby could count on her fingers how many times she talked to you ever since you moved into the apartment. There’s not to say that she wasn’t fond of you, truth be told is — you make her think of so many things that she couldn’t name, or make her feel something she never knew what that is.

However, as much as Abby wanted to go back to ignoring you while she was finally okay, she couldn’t help but feel grateful for helping her when she was sick. So, she decided to ask you out — and it’s just a friendly date just to repay your kindness.

Rays of sunlight pierced through the large windows of your apartment, perfectly illuminating your figure as you stood in front of the full-length mirror and examined your face. As Abby was descending down the stairs, she couldn’t help but stare at your back, trailing her gaze from the ribbons on your hair to the soft plush of your thighs. She immediately looked away, feeling a small sweat prickling down her forehead which she quickly wiped, not wanting to appear nervous or such.

Abby cleared her throat, making you look at her.

“You’re going somewhere?” She asked silently, busying herself with removing dog furs from her shirt.

“Yeah, uh, just going to visit this newly opened cafe. My friend says it’s good.”

Abby nodded, looking away. She tried to guess who that friend was. Was it the curly-haired girl you were talking to in the library? Or the tattooed one named Ellie?

“Are you going with someone?”

“Just me.” You smiled. “Wanna come?”

“Yeah, I would love to.”

Abby has never gone on a date with someone else other than Owen, Leah, Nora, and her father. So being alone with you ignited something within her.

You were sitting across from her, giving her a perfect view of your face. She probably looked at you many times that she couldn’t keep track of her fingers and it scared if you’d think that she was creepy as hell. It’s just that she couldn’t look away, or divert her attention to some other things when a gorgeous girl was in front of her.

You were chatty, telling her some stories from your first year in the University that Abby found so adorable that she couldn’t stop herself from eliciting a small smile on her lips. You liked to joke around, giving some playful banters that Abby found witty. She never thought that talking to you was the best thing she’d ever experienced. She admired how you were so smiley, radiating light and hopeful vibes, infecting her in the meantime, breaking her out of the cold and dark shell she was caged in.

It was fun.

So, so fun.

And she doesn’t know why your company scares her.

“Come on, babe, I’ll do everything you want,” Ellie whined through the phone and your eyes almost rolled off at the back of your head at her dramatic ass.

“Figure it out on your own, Ellie.”

“I’m gonna fail!” She says, shuffling across her room.

“You should’ve thought about that before skipping your classes.”

“Come on,” Ellie answers.

“Why are you so annoying?”

“You love me.” You can imagine Ellie’s smirk. “I’m bringing snacks.”

“You should be.” You rolled your eyes once again before hanging up the phone.

It was 8:00 in the evening, and you were already in your pajama-clad state as you made your way to the dining room with your laptop clutched around your chest. The whole apartment was dimly lit, with only the warm lampshades as the source of light. Oreo was already sleeping on his bed, filling the silence in the air and comforting you.

Abby was nowhere to be found ever since you got in here after school. You waited for her to appear, eating whatever she made in the kitchen which was usually at 7:00 PM, or to make her way to the bathroom, putting on an obnoxiously loud song that you could practically hear from across the room. But she wasn’t here.

You two aren’t exactly friends. For sure, you two got closer when she was sick, but after the date you two had, Abby was back again into ignoring your presence. You did not know what to feel because you thought you were on to a good start now. Truth be told, you wanted to get to know her even more but it seems like she doesn’t really want to.

She was a mysterious woman. You always hear things about her at school. They all say that she was a smart person, always on top of the class. Everyone adored Abby, and you couldn’t blame them for that. You liked her, too, even though she was like that.

Three consecutive knocks on the door put you out of a trance, lightly making you flinch. You screwed your eyes shut before standing up. Of course, it’s Ellie.

She smiled widely, flashing you a toothy grin before lifting the paper bags in both of her hands. You opened the door, letting her in at the apartment.

“Jesus, where’s all the lights? I can’t see shit.” Ellie whispered.

“Don’t be too loud,” You nudged her. “You’ll wake up the dog.” You flicked the switch, opening the big lights just like Ellie liked, revealing the well-decorated apartment. Ellie seemed to be in awe, scanning the whole house. To be fair, it really was pleasing in the eye so you can’t blame her. If there’s one thing you and Abby could agree on, it is the interior design of the place. It was a Mediterranean revival style, taking upon the beautiful Spanish architecture that you both loved. It was a very lovely house, something you didn’t expect to live in.

“Dude your apartment was great!” Ellie complimented, sitting down beside you. She opened her laptop before gathering pieces of paper in her bag.

“Yeah, well, thanks to my roommate.” You shrugged, grabbing a piece of fries that Ellie brought.

You two got working afterward, not wasting any time. You did not want to stay up too late, and on the contrary, Ellie did not want to sleep. She says she has to go to the club at 10:00 PM, hence, she was listening to your instructions carefully, nodding at every word you say, and working seriously. To be honest, Ellie was a smart person. She was just distracted by too many things — girls, clubs, and her guitar which made her have a hard time managing her time. Which was why she was always late in class, sometimes even skipping them unintentionally. It was the reason why her guardian, Joel, kept scolding her.

“You were smart, you know. You just don’t know how to properly execute it.” You said to her as you were cleaning up the mess at the kitchen table.

Ellie smirked while putting her bag on. “I’ll see myself out.” She says, ignoring your compliment.

You nodded, opening the door quietly. “Take care, El.”

“Thank you so much for helping me.” She says, grinning at you while pinching your cheek. You winced at her touch, immediately swatting her hand. Before you could slap her shoulder, Ellie was running through the elevator while giggling. “Bye!” You hear her say.

You laughed, shaking your head at how childish she was. As you were about to lock the doors, Abby’s tall figure appeared in front of you, making you flinch in shock.

“What the hell?” You cursed, placing your hand on your loud beating heart. “Where did you come from?”

Abby’s brows furrowed deeply as she scanned your face, and back to the elevator. “Who was that?” She asked, walking past you. You can sense her irritation as she sits on the couch, removing her pair of loafers.

“It’s… Ellie—”

“Your girlfriend?” Abby looked at you with a stoic face.

“What? No—”

“Well then, why she was here? What could you two be possibly doing late at night?”

“Woah, woah,” You raised your hands in surrender before walking in front of Abby. “Where was this coming from? Me and Ellie were just friends, and we’re not doing anything you’re thinking.”

“And how could I believe that?” Abby stood up, towering over you.

“And if we really were doing whatever you think we were, then it’s none of your fucking business, Abby.”

“It is my business because you are living with me. It is one thing to share a house with a woman who– who likes girls—”

“You can say lesbian. It wouldn’t burn your tongue.” You stopped her, feeling an internal rage boiling into your skin. You were clenching your jaw hard, stopping the urge to punch this woman in front of you.

“Then keep that to yourself. I am not uncomfortable with you doing that.”

Your brows furrowed. “Doing what? Being myself?”

The living room suddenly feels deafening as the silence consumes you two. Abby looked away, arms crossed as her eyes were fixed on the floor. You sighed, shoulders going slump before looking outside the window. Tears started brimming at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill at any second.

“Abby you know I didn’t choose this. It’s who I am,” You say, voice trembling slightly as you gulp, silently wishing that the lump in your throat goes away. “Just like what you are. You did not choose to be straight, and I never got mad at you for that, didn’t I? No matter how uncomfortable it is to find you and your weird boyfriend doing unspeakable things every single week.” You looked and glared at her.

“What? Why are you turning this on me?” Abby’s voice boomed, face going red as anger silently consumed her.

“If you say something about my sexuality, it’s fine? But when I say it back to yours then you’re getting mad? For a very intelligent person, you’re such a fucking closed-minded, Anderson!” You yelled, storming through your room and slamming the door with a loud thud, making the dog wake up in its sleeping state.

Abby stood there for a long moment, staring at your closed door, the weight of her words settling in. She immediately wanted to knock on your door and take it all back. But she knew she couldn’t. The silence that followed her was deafening, a painful reminder of the distance that stretched before you two.

The cafeteria buzzed with the usual lunchtime chatter, but at your table, the mood was tense. Dina almost spat the food she was eating as she looked at you with pure shock in her eyes as you recounted your fight with Abby last night.

“She seriously said that?” She exclaimed, fuming, as she stabbed her food with a fork. “I cannot believe she reacted like that.”

You shrugged, feeling dejected as you played with your food with a spoon, not feeling an ounce of hunger. “I know, I thought she’d understand – I mean, she should be, right? She’s smart.”

“Not smart enough for that kind of talk.” Dina sighed. “Seriously, I cannot believe it. It’s unfair to you, and you shouldn’t deserve to live with that kind of person. Who knows what she might do to you.”

“You’re right. I’m going to start to hunt for another place after the midterms. I just can’t fit in my schedule right now as loads of paperwork start coming and coming in.” You shut your eyes tightly while combing your hair in frustration. “I just thought we were starting to be friends, you know?”

Dina smiled at you sadly before rubbing your back. At that moment, Ellie walked in with a huge grin on her face. She spotted you and Dina at the table and she immediately started walking towards it, but not before playfully bumping and greeting all of the people she knew. She slid beside you before sitting on the empty chair next to you.

“Thanks for helping me with my homework. I got an A.” She threw playful punches in the air.

Dina slapped her. “Shut it.” She says before taking a glance at you.

You smiled at Ellie, the one where it doesn’t meet your eyes. “No worries.”

Ellie frowned, her smile immediately faded as she took in your expression. “What’s wrong? You seem upset.” You sighed, feeling the weight of yesterday’s event pressing down on you again. “It’s Abby. We had a huge fight. She started accusing us of doing things at the apartment and she doesn’t seem to like that I was gay.”

Ellie’s eyes widened in anger. “That’s fucking bullshit! Out of all people, I thought she’d understand that.”

“What do you mean?” Dina asked.

“I mean, is she not gay?”

“Uhm… no. She has a boyfriend.”

“Well, this is now confusing.” Ellie looked at you with disbelief while leaning back in the chair. “I thought she was one of us!”

“Everyone else does. I mean, I do, too, when I first saw her.” You said, shrugging.

“That’s fucking ironic, then.” Ellie sighed. “But she fucking needs to grow up and get over herself.”

“Exactly. Our apartment is always open whenever you need it, okay?” Dina squeezed your hand.

You nodded, feeling a warmth gushing through your veins. You are thankful for your friends as they can ease your problems effectively. Abby’s words pierced right through your heart, but being with Ellie and Dina made it easier to bear.

Abby sat at one of the reserved seats for her at the rooftop of a fancy restaurant that her dad picked for them to have a meal after having time for a small break in his work. Wanting to reconcile and check in with his only daughter, he arranged this small meeting with her.

The place was elegant, with warm lighting from the big chandeliers illuminating the whole area. At the distance was a small band playing jazz music, and the gentle clicks of the silverware created a sophisticated aura. Abby sat across from her father, trying to focus on her meal. Jerry kept stealing glances at her daughter as he cut into his steak, trying to decipher what was wrong.

“Was the food not good?” He asked suddenly after a moment of silence consuming the two.

Abby’s gaze immediately flicked to meet his eyes. Her brows raised in confusion, trying to recall what her father said. “What? Uh… no.” Abby shook her head before sipping into her drink.

Jerry shrugged. “Just that you seemed tensed.”

“I’m not,” Abby responds. “The place is great.”

He hummed, nodding at what her daughter said. “So, how’s life in the apartment?” He asked, his tone casual but probing.

“It’s fine. You know, the usual. I was able to pay for all of my bills, since, well, I got a roommate.”

“And how was she?” He raised a brow. “What was her name, again?”

Abby said your name as she was pushing off her unfinished meal. She sighed, dabbing her lips with the handkerchief. “It’s fine… just a bit tense between us.”

Jerry looked at her with narrow eyes. “It’s fine but tense? What does that mean?”

Abby hesitated, not wanting to answer the question fully. She never knew what her dad would say if he found out that her roommate was gay. Besides, they never talked about that kind of stuff. All that she knew right now, was that she doesn’t want to tell anyone about your personal information.

“Personal stuff came up. I-it’s complicated and I don’t want to talk about it now.”

He sets his fork down, leaning back in his chair. “Personal stuff? Abby, if there’s a problem, you should fix it right away. You can’t just ignore it.”

“I know, Dad.” She answered; frustrations creeping up her voice as what happened that night started replaying in her mind. “It’s not that simple. But I don’t want her out of the apartment or anything… we’ll figure this out on our own.”

He studied her for a minute before nodding slowly, not wanting to press more on that matter. “Alright, but don’t let it become worse. Things like these can get ugly the more you avoid it.”

Abby exhaled a relieved sigh. “I know. I’ll handle it.”

There was a brief, uncomfortable silence before her father cleared his throat and changed the subject. “And what about Owen? How’s he doing?”

Abby’s face softened at the mention of his boyfriend — wait, she wasn’t even sure if she could still call him that, knowing what happened. She ignored his calls for days, not wanting to be in his presence to get a lot of time thinking about things. Abby thought it’d be best if she could calm down first, set aside her emotions, and be rational for once. She sighed heavily, keeping in her mind to talk to him once her father dropped her off after dinner.

“He's good. Busy with work, as usual, which was why we don’t see each other as often.” She lied, not wanting her father to pry on their relationship. You knew he was skeptical of him since the very beginning. He liked to say that Owen was up to no good and that he was just an older man who didn’t think about his future. As much as Abby tried to argue with him at first, Jerry already formed opinions about him — one that Abby couldn’t alter. But deep inside, she knew he was right. She just doesn’t want to admit it yet.

“I really hope he’s taking good care of you.” He says, eyeing her once again with glaring eyes. “If I ever got the news that he was being a bad influence on you, I’m going to cut all of your cards.” Jerry threatened her.

Oh, right, Owen was the one who insisted on gambling that night, making Abby almost lose all of her savings in her bank account. He also taught her to drink, smoke, and go into different kinds of clubs. You bet how mad Jerry was when he found out everything about it.

Abby only offered a tight-lipped smile, trying to change the subject to lighter topics. Throughout the whole dinner, Abby’s mind was always shifting into your unresolved fight as guilt starts to consume her whole. She knew her father’s advice was great, but she couldn’t bear to do it. Besides, it was easier said than done. For now, she decided to enjoy the meal in front of her, pushing away her worries at the back of her mind.

That night, Jerry decided to drop his daughter off before going into his office. She sat in the backseat of his car, staring out the window as the city lights they passed were blurred by with the speed of the vehicle. Abby tried to maintain her composure, as she tried calling Owen’s phone for the nth time but he wasn’t answering. Each unanswered notification on the screen made her anxiety slowly skyrocket.

When they finally reached their destination, the car came to a stop. Abby immediately opened the car door.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to wait for you?” Her father asked as he pulled up in front of Owen’s apartment.

Abby shook her head, “It’s fine, Dad.”

“Alright. Give me a call if you need anything.”

“I will,” She assured. “Take care.”

With that, Jerry nodded before uttering a small ‘good night’ to his daughter. Abby followed the car's gaze before deciding to head to Owen’s apartment with a heavy sigh.

Abby hated this feeling.

For someone who has been cheated on by the same guy, she did not know why she couldn’t turn numb. She hated the confrontation between her and Owen because she knew that it didn’t always end well. However, she did not know why she couldn’t just walk away from this relationship forever. It was like there’s some force between her that keeps on tangling herself with Owen — no matter how shitty he was. Abby hated how her father’s words, along with her friend’s advice kept on replaying in her mind right now. It made her feel like she was the dumbest person in the whole world.

“For a very intelligent person, you’re such a fucking closed-minded, Anderson!”

Your words rang in her ears repeatedly.

“Fuck it.” Abby cursed, trying to shake those thoughts before knocking on Owen’s door. She stood there for a couple of minutes before speaking once again. “I’m coming inside.” She notified him before fishing out his apartment’s key in her bag.

As Abby came inside, she noticed how the room was romantically lit up — where different pieces of scented candles and dimly lit lanterns were on, casting off a warm glow throughout the room. An unfamiliar woman’s perfume filled her nose, breaking her heart little by little as she strode through his room.

Abby pushed Owen’s bedroom door, revealing him with another woman in his bed.

“Owen?” She asked, voice tensed.

He scrambled to sit up, a mix of shock and fear written through his face. “Abby… I — I can explain.” He immediately grabbed his boxers, putting it in just a couple of seconds.

“Leave,” Abby commanded the girl who quickly complied. She grabbed her clothes before running past Abby, a pure horrified look was written on her face as she left the bedroom.

“I was checking in if you were still alive. And right now, I wish you were dead.” Abby’s jaw clenched.

“You don’t mean that,” Owen huffed, trying to grab Abby’s hand but she quickly moved away from his touch. He shrank, feeling dejected.

“How many times do you have to do this, Owen?” Abby snapped, tears brimming on the corners of her eyes. “What was something I don’t have for you to crave on another woman’s body?”

“It’s a mistake. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

Abby sniffed, nodding at his words sarcastically. “Yeah, we’re done. It’s all done forever.” Abby started walking, but Owen was tailing her from behind.

“What? What do you mean?” He asked, completely alarmed.

“I can’t keep wasting my time with you. I should’ve done this a long time ago.”

“You can’t possibly mean that.” His voice boomed, making the blonde face him with bloodshot eyes.

“I fucking do! I am so tired of putting up with your shit. Don’t ever come near me, alright? I am so disgusted at you.” She says before storming outside.

Owen tried calling her name, and a feeling of sudden fear washed inside of him. Of all the times you two broke up about this, he hadn’t seen Abby so mad that she fully said that they were finally done because he knew that she couldn’t bear to part ways with him for good. This was the reason why he was so confident to do those. But right now, she sounded determined, and Owen knew that it wasn’t good.

Abby’s thoughts were spiraling by the time she got back to the apartment. A mix of emotions started forming in her mind, making her heart clench as she stumbled inside. Tears started streaming down her face, making her barely notice that you were fully wide awake while staring at her in the kitchen with a curious stare.

“Are you okay?” You asked, breaking the silence.

Abby’s gaze flicked to your face, down to the food that you were cooking. Pasta. It was midnight and you were cooking pasta.

“W-what?” She asked, trying to focus, but her stomach started grumbling as the aroma of the food filled her nose. “I’m fine.”

You nodded, biting your tongue to ask further questions at her.

“What’s that?” Abby asked, making her way to the kitchen.

Your brows rose as you took a good look at her face. She looked like… a mess. And that’s not like her.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Abby sighed heavily before shaking her head. “We broke up.”

“Oh…”

A short silence filled the air as Abby watched you put two plates on the island, filling it with the pasta you’d made. You pushed one in front of her, and Abby looked at you with wide eyes. “For me?”

“I know we’re not on good terms right now. But I don’t want you to sleep like that. Why don’t we eat past and watch movies in the living room? I can sit across from you in case you are uncomfortable and we don’t have to talk with each other.”

“I won’t be uncomfortable…” Abby said in a small voice while looking at the food.

Your brows rose at her comment. You hummed, not buying her words. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry for what I’ve said before. It’s not right.”

You scanned her face, “I don’t know about that.”

“I want to make it up to you.”

“How?”

taglist: @gaptoothedlesbo @st4r-b3rries @ofalcaodacolinablue @sleepydrr @yurixxiii @seraphicsentences @bambishaven @k1ngpin42 @buglikean-angel @eringranola @sennagf

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson tlou2 #abby x you #abby x reader #abby angst #abby the last of us #abby tlou

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genshin-scenarios · 8 months ago

Text

what flowers they’d give their s/o

Summary: A raffle request from my Adopt a Wanderer preorders! They’re a mix of genshin and HSR, but I’m posting it here as Wanderer’s included! If you'd like to see more HSR content from me, feel free to drop a request at @tiramisu-rambles!

Characters: Wanderer, Luocha, Jingyuan, Aventurine, Sunday

Content warnings: implications of character death in Luocha’s part.

Adopt a Wanderer: Digital Store

Red String of Fate Prompt List

Wanderer: Anemones

Sincerity, forsaken love, anticipation, protection from evil.

Just like the many versions of himself, anemones are windflowers with various meanings depending on their color. And despite the hurt Wanderer’s been through, his barriers are worn down by your honest intentions; your brightness, moments of quiet connection, and how you’re adored by many.

He’s glad the wind has brought him to you. These flowers may have a delicate appearance, but it’s obvious that neither of you are so fickle.

“They’re a protection from evil, apparently. Something about closing its petals when it rains.”

“Really? In that case, I have a version of that already with you!”

It’s a bouquet made with multicolored hues, where he hands himself to you. A small thanks for acknowledging his past, and a few blooms that represent anticipation for the future.

It’s been a while since he’s been vulnerable enough to feel nervous about something. But it’s a more positive spin on the emotion, akin to excitement when he knows he’s going to see you — but Wanderer would rather choke than use a word so innocently childish to describe himself.

Due to its wild nature, anemones also symbolize relaxation and a reminder to enjoy the moment. To take in opportunities at the right time, as he’s learned from you.

Luocha: Marigolds

Resurrection, energy, good luck, warmth, prosperity, jealousy.

Luocha sees you in the warmth of the flowers, as powerful as the Sun despite your bubbly outlook. He sees the light, which makes him worry he might taint your smile with his true nature.

You thank him for the flowers, thinking of him as the miracle doctor that’s giving you a gift. He is, but he also hopes you don’t get closer without being aware of what he is.

Marigolds represent despaired love, although this is mostly on Luocha’s part as he constantly sidelines himself, making himself a ‘side character’ rather than a potential partner for you. But he’s too selfish to completely step out of your life, accepting your invitations to lunch and walks along the harbor. He says the world feels peaceful around you. It’s true.

These flowers are often associated with life and death. In this case, it’s Luocha’s silent promise to always protect you, even if you might not want it yourself.

And if there comes a day where he has to pick between saving one or another… He’ll make sure you get out alive. Perhaps he’ll even save the bystanders around so you’ll keep calling him a wonderful doctor, before his powers fail to heal his own wounds.

Jingyuan: Forget Me Nots

Clinging to the past, faithfulness, remembrance, true love, fidelity.

‘I’ll keep you in my thoughts,’ they say. A warm sentiment from the General, and behind them the memories of all he’s gained and lost in the past.

Jingyuan is used to being alone. He’s a leader after all, who wears the air of one without a care in the world. He’s capable and busy, but what he says as a teasing remark contains words that can be read very differently.

‘Don’t forget me.’

Forget me nots also symbolize links to the past. For a long-life species, it’s easy to feel the days melt together, and beautiful sights aren’t as vivid anymore.

That’s why Jingyuan thanks you for letting him remember — remember what it’s like to be surprised again, to see the sky and find it breathtaking, along with your voice in the wind. He wants to remember all of this as long as he can, so he gives you these flowers on occasion to remind himself.

“Do you miss me that much, General?”

“Of course. There isn’t enough time in the world to spend with you.”

He starts to appreciate his lifespan again, for having the chance to run into you along the way.

Aventurine: Daffodils

Honesty, truth, forgiveness, appreciation.

Despite the amount of lying and masks he wears, Aventurine knows there is truth in the anxiety he feels around you. The same feeling before a risky gamble, where he hopes his bluffs will deceive his opponent.

…He doesn’t know what he’d do if you ever looked at him with disappointment. If he somehow managed to fool you into expecting something he cannot give; heart ringing hollow, echoing deeper and deeper in resonance every time you interact.

Perhaps one day this hollow ringing will actually turn into a heartbeat, and he can finally face you as Kakavasha. (Put aside the fact that despite his persona, Aventurine is still facing the world with honesty in every act).

He also chooses Daffodils because, in his attempt at excusing these sentiments, he simply thinks of you as his source of honesty and truth. A Sun that the flowers lean toward, after blooming each spring despite the desolate, cutthroat winter.

‘Please forgive me. Please don’t look away.’

Daffodils also symbolize rebirth, new beginnings, and good luck. Perhaps you can draw this out of Aventurine, who’s been on guard against the world for as long as he can remember?

Be the sunlight that sifts through the window, greeting him every day; a good-luck charm he continues to believe in.

Sunday: Violets

Peace, devotion, healing.

You bring him peace. With every smile you direct at Sunday, he feels hope that the world around him can be rebuilt. ‘You heal me,’ the flowers say. And despite how candied flowers dry bitterly on the tongue…

‘After all this is over, I’ll devote myself to you.’

He can’t be sure if you believe him, but Sunday has long disposed of the idea of predicting you. ‘It makes you human’, his sister once said.

Violets are reminders of loyalty, thoughtfulness, and dependability. Sunday looks out for you at every corner, even if his presence isn’t tangible. He notices your little victories and joys, feeling his heart twinge from the distance. And when your days are bleak, just know there is another soul mourning with you, playing a song to soothe your sorrows.

He’s devoted to you long before the drama of politics are done. In a sense, one can almost say he’s too caring — from a glance it appears he’s not bothered with you, and watch for a minute longer, the small, irrelevant commands given to his subordinates ring clear with thoughts of you.

Sunday doesn’t put a spotlight on his love, yet showers it with the adoration of the moon. Quiet, graceful, and just a bit selfish.

#wanderer #luocha x reader #sunday x reader #aventurine x reader #jingyuan x reader #hsr luocha #hsr x reader #hsr sunday #hsr x you #hsr aventurine #hsr jing yuan #genshin wanderer #genshin x reader #genshin x you #hsr imagines #hsr writing #hsr reader insert #hsr headcanons #honkai star rail

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stilljuststardust · 2 months ago

Note

I fear I'm not practicing the LOA "right" and i'm so anxious. I keep thinking "what if all my persistence is useless because i'm not practicing the LOA right?" I can't tell if I'm truly partaking in imagination or just simply daydreaming. My understanding of the concept of "daydreaming" and "imagination" seems to have no clear distinct difference. Maybe I'm spiralling, but I feel like a fraud and can't seem to have faith in my own abilities. I continue to doubt everything because I wonder "does not feeling fulfilled in imagination mean my 4D has not shifted because I don't understand I have it?"

Is it okay to not feel anything or even feel bad towards your desires but still understand you have it and actually shift realities?

Take a deep breath.

You are going to be ok. There is nothing wrong with you. You are safe. You are stronger than you think. I believe in you. Not feeling anything is OK.

I have a laptop I manifested sitting next to me right now. I didn't feel anything when I was manifesting it and I don't feel like I have it even though it's physically here right now.

Please don't be so mean to yourself. You're going to be ok

Disclaimer: This may be controversial because people have really been shitting on affirmations lately, so let me first say that all methods work. This is just my personal experience. I understand that some of you will disagree with this post, that's OK. Please respect that everyone has their own beliefs.

Emotions don't matter

I normally put links at the end but you should really read this: it's ok to feel like shit

I know you're very stressed out, I am also a very anxious person. Please know that hurting deeply doesn't mean you can't manifest.

Feeling is not what manifests. For a long time I ran in circles because I was trying to force my emotions to conform.

I am a very anxious person sometimes bordering on paranoid. If my reality was solely dependent on what I felt like was happening a girl with long hair would be crawling out of my TV right now.

The truth is emotions are fickle. Trying to force an extremely positive emotional state will most likely just make you hurt more.

Often the most painful part of suffering is our constant attempt to suppress it instead of processing the emotion.

We are not our feelings. We are often subject to dramatic and irrational emotional states that don't reflect our actual thoughts and opinions.

"I feel awful and I don't like how often I'm feeling it" often leads us into thinking "nothing is ever going to work for me", but it's important to ground ourselves and realize that feeling like shit is not divine undeniable proof that it isn't going to work.

So what does manifest?

Your dominant thoughts and mental state.

The thoughts you repeat over and over and over. Your subconscious listens to everything you tell it and it takes you at face value every single time. If you repeat something to your subconscious it will push that experience into your reality.

You ARE manifesting, just not what you want.

I'm guessing your most common thoughts right now sound something like this:

"why isn't it working" "what am I doing wrong" "why can't I get this right"

THAT is what is manifesting right now.

It's not about feeling like you have it, it's about thinking thoughts that imply you do.

So what's the whole deal with the 4D 3D thing? Those are just buzzwords that mean your internal and external world. Your internal world manifests. What part of your internal world is constant? Your thoughts. You may not be visualizing or mediating all day but you ARE thinking all day every single day. (visualization and mediation still do work, I'm not discrediting those methods. Your mental images are still thoughts)

What now? (What I think you should do)

I want you to try robotic affirmations. There is literally no way to do them wrong. They don't require feeling or belief. its ok if repeating them feels wrong.

This is all you have to do:

All of your thoughts and words are affirmations so don't affirm against your desire. I know these are often very very habitual. That's ok, you just need to break the habit. Flip the thought or start affirming.

Repeat thoughts that imply it has manifested. It's best if it's in your own words. What would you say if it his happened? Now repeat that sentence whenever possible. Whenever you are doing something that is boring like a chore or showering instead of letting your mind water repeat your affirmation.

Don't try to feel it or imagine it, just repeat the sentence. That's why they're called robotic. There's nothing else to do but repeat them. Hopefully this gives you less to worry about.

LINKSSSS:

How to break a thought pattern

Affirm and persist

Do I have to believe?

Robotic affirmations

Please please please watch this.

#affirmyourreality #affirmyourlife #affirmations #affirmdaily #affirm and persist #robotic affirming #shiftblr #loa tumblr #shifting antis dni #loa blog #reality shifting #loassumption #shifting community #loablr #shifting #loassblog

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sunshine-jesse · 1 year ago

Text

Control: The Strange Dynamics of Andy and Leyley or

The Incest End Is Not The Fucking Bad End, Stop Coping

EDIT:

Hey guys! This post is blowing the fuck up, but this was my first essay on this game, and I think I've had many more insightful things to say since then. Here's a link to a masterpost with all of my essays, which I'd definitely suggest reading after this one:

Anyways, without further adieu...

I heard a lot about this game going in. I knew the general story beats and the funny haha incest memes. I knew it was about a toxic codependent relationship where Ashley, the sister, acted like your standard overly-controlling person who used various abuse techniques to keep someone in line. I expected Ashley to be a yandere-type character where she was borderline psychotic, irrational, and had a skewed perception of reality. I expected her to be a crazy bitch, and I love me some crazy bitches.

But then I actually played through the game. ...That is not what I got.

The game advertises Andrew as a doormat extraordinaire who is strung along by his Very Not Good sister and has no agency of his own' that he's just a henpecked abuse victim. But in practice, that doesn't seem to be the case. One of their first exchanges that in the story is when the occultist played his music and Ashley wanted them to check it out. He says 'no', sure, but then he smirks and says 'but I'll come along if you do.'

That is not the dialogue of someone who has no will of their own, that's the dialogue of someone who willingly gives up their own agency.

This is not, on its own, a sign of anything out of the ordinary. What caught my attention with it, though, is how it flew in the face of the common narrative surrounding their relationship dynamic. But that's not the first time I noticed it, it's just the first time, in retrospect, that their actual dynamic begins to show. The first time I personally noticed it is in the choking scene.

There are a lot of ways to view this situation. But my own reading? This was not a crime of passion. This was not him trying to break free. This is him doing something he's thought about for a while. This is premeditated. In this scene, Andrew is done playing along with Ashley's shit. In this scene, I firmly believe Ashley is the victim.

Ashley is the more openly abusive of the two who seeks to do whatever she can to trap Andrew so he'll never leave her. That much is clear. But Andrew-

-clearly has these same tendencies. He says this shortly after Ashley mentions putting her name up on a call girl's wall for money. There's protective brotherly instincts, and then there's this. This is not something you'd threaten a sister with, this is something that a man would threaten his wife with, which is directly brought attention to in the story.

(hey look he accepts the framing of it being WIFE beating at face value, and says Ashley is the only one who makes him like that! HMMMMMMMMMM WONDER WHAT THAT IMPLIES???)

It also implies that this is not the first time physical force has been threatened! I mean, that much is obvious, because of the choking scene that happened before, but I more mean that this implies that Andrew either threatening or utilizing physical force is an established pattern of behavior. However, the Decay route implies that she never thought Andy would kill her (but Andrew would) which can either be for or against depending on one's perspective, so I don't hold to the idea that it's an established pattern too strongly.

Okay, so. Andrew has some controlling and possessive tendencies too. So what? Their relationship is codependent. It's advertised as such. What of it?

Well first of all, it pretty much blows the lid off of the idea that Ashley is the sole perpetrator of abuse in their relationship. I've seen a lot of people view Andrew's behavior as justified retaliation against abuse, but frankly, I don't believe that him threatening to strangle Ashley for violating boundaries by trying to hold him accountable for his actions (given the strangulation part happens after she brought up Nina's death and how Andrew was ultimately responsible) is justified. And I ESPECIALLY don't believe that him threatening to backhand Ashley for her transactional attitude towards sex is justified in ANY circumstance.

EDIT: This part was edited in from the original post for the sake of readability so they don't have to see the reblogs to see the updated version! This post gained more traction than I was expecting!

…But perhaps even more telling is what she DOESN'T do.

Pushing someone's boundaries until they lash out is a pretty common tactic in abusive relationships. It's easy to see why, too: It justifies prior behavior and paints them in a negative light to others. This can be an important aspect of using DARVO (deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender) against someone, although the two ideas aren't necessarily linked.

It's pretty easy to argue that this is what Ashley does, but if you look at the one time her boundary pushing DID go too far, when Andrew lashes out with physical violence… she doesn't do that. She doesn't blame him. She doesn't paint herself as the victim. She doesn't even try to give a reason as to why she shouldn't be killed outside of the comfort she gives him. Why is this notable?

Because the mom does, in fact, engage in what could be considered DARVO against Ashley:

(i will elaborate more on this screenshot in particular below)

Ashley is directly compared to Mrs. Graves by Andrew, and yet she crucially displays none of the habits that Mrs. Graves does. Mrs. Graves lays the blame on Ashley, but Ashley doesn't lay the blame on Andrew. Mrs. Graves tends to paint herself as the victim of Ashley, but Ashley does no such thing to Andrew. The mom denies her culpability at every turn; Ashley doesn't. Ashley tries to hold Andrew accountable for his role in Nina's death, which could be considered a kind of DARVO. But she never denies that she had a role to play in it. She just mentions that he was the one who pulled the trigger. And he was.

(and the point was more that she DIDN'T engage in it when threatened with physical violence; the perfect chance to)

In Mrs. Graves' mind, she is the victim of either Ashley, or society as a whole. In Ashley's mind, she knows what she is, what she does, and what she's about. The only thing she's oblivious to- or doesn't acknowledge, at least- is the threat Andrew poses to her. In her mind, she's the bad guy. In Andrew's mind, Ashley is the bad guy. In official art, she is the bad guy:

And yet, in the game itself, Andrew is the one holding the cleaver. Not her. Hm.

Ashley is the world's most convenient scapegoat. She allows people to mask their own worst habits and pretend they're better people than they are. She accepts this role. She embraces it. She doesn't try to deny it. But when that mask slips, people lash out at her. Both Mrs. Graves and Andy (NOT Andrew, crucially) predicate much of their self-perception on being what she's not.

But they're the ones who enabled her to become like this, every step of the way.

And that's what blew my fucking mind, and made me question just who the victim really is. She was never given a chance to be normal, because other people relied on her NOT being normal.

By the end of my second playthrough, I felt worse for Ashley than I did for Andrew, and I still do.

So. What am I getting at? What does this show me about the relationship between Ashley and Andrew?

(I also wanted to point out that Andrew does engage in DARVO too but I didn't want to distract from the behavior of the mother. Unlike what Andrew does, it doesn't require someone to reassess the narrative they have towards the game in order to realize the implications of it, whereas it's pretty easy to justify Andrew's words as not qualifying as DARVO if you buy into the narrative that he's the sole victim and/or that Ashley is the main perpetrator of abuse. A friend of mine pointed out that it's a pretty key part of the push/pull dynamic they have, and I completely agree.

However, the direct comparisons to the behavior of the mother can't be ignored no matter your narrative, so I felt as if I needed to highlight that more.)

EDIT OVER

It shows me that their relationship is all about control.

Specifically, the push and pull of who controls who in any given situation.

Andrew weaponizes his incompetence. He always looks to lay the blame on Ashley. This is drawn attention to several times, and said explicitly in the Decay route.

He is always surrendering control to her, and yet he never HAS to. He could always just say no. He could always refuse. What are the consequences? Her being upset? Well, unfortunately, it's not that easy. That's not how abuse dynamics work. He probably feels like he has to, or rather, feels like there's no other option. That he's in too deep, and stuck with her no matter what. But personally, I think it's pretty clear from his willingness to surrender control to Ashley that he still feels like he has it at points, because the moment he feels like he's about to lose it, he either considers violence, even as a child-

(the actual scene of slicing her finger is pretty sus too with this reading in mind)

-or resorts to it, outright, in both the choking scene and the vision in the Decay ending... when Ashley doesn't have enough bullets to defend herself (this will be important later!).

SO WHAT POINT AM I TRYING TO MAKE??? AM I JUST MAKING ABUSE APOLOGIA (the answer may surprise you)?

No. I don't think so.

Ashley is obviously very bad. She's controlling and uses pretty textbook abuse and entrapment tactics on Andrew whereas everything he does to her is inference, with Ashley too daft to realize just how much danger she's in until the vision in the Decay ending spells it out for her- and I don't know if a true abuse dynamic allows for one to be completely unaware of the consequences of breaking free. She could just let go of her desire for control and Andrew would be a much happier person.

And that's the point, because so would she.

I bring up control because that push and pull- that desire for control over each other- is exactly what's tearing their relationship apart, and this effect most obviously manifests in the two endings of episode 2. In the Decay ending, Ashley either tries to exert control over Andrew due to a lack of trust, or Andrew allows his feelings of entrapment to truly take root in his mind and guide his actions. In the Decay ending, Andrew becomes a true doormat with no will of his own, allowing his feelings of bitterness and resentment to fester and grow, eventually resulting in their deaths.

In the Burial ending, Andrew does the exact opposite. He takes control of the situation and does exactly what Ashley would do without much of a fuss. This eventually culminates in THAT scene (assuming you take the Questionable route), where his facial expression alone speaks volumes:

Look at how fucking confident this man is. This is not the face of someone who's unsure of himself; this is the face of someone who knows exactly what he wants and takes it. He is absolutely in control of this situation, and everyone is happier for it.

And what does Ashley have to do to get this ending?

Let's go back to Decay for a moment. If Ashley has bullets in her gun, she has control over the situation. She, at any point, could put an end to Andrew and survive. And yet, at the very end of it all, she could choose not to. She could choose to surrender control to Andrew, allowing herself to die. And that ending, I believe so much of his life and willpower will have decayed that there's nothing left for him to take control of, leaving him no choice- or rather, no use for the control he now has- but to die with her.

And in the Burial ending, she has to let him out of his cage before it's too late. She has to surrender control to him, and when she does-

-He will become everything she ever needed him to be.

It's all about her surrendering control, and it's all about him taking control. Because, no matter what, as long as that happens... the two of them will be together forever.

In life...

...or in death.

How romantic.

So no, the incest end is not the fucking bad end. They're going to be together forever in the end either way, so they might as well live through it.

#gaming #the coffin of andy and leyley #gravecest #ashley graves #andrew graves #someone help me i can't stop thinking about this fucking game

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cripplecharacters · 4 months ago

Note

Hi there, i have a character in my original story who is blind, specifically because he lost both eyes (one from injury, one from infection at birth). However, he doesn't have access to prosthetic/glass eyes as he lives in a secluded group of warriors. I've been drawing him with a blindfold to protect from infection, but upon reading your posts about eye coverings on blind characters, i'm unsure if this is offensive or not, but i also can't think of a good alternative other than going bare. He is a warrior, so i don't think glasses would stay on for very long, but i'm wondering if maybe goggles would work? Hes not the only blind character i have (one of the others is a born-blind cane user who does not wear glasses) but i still don't want to misrepresent or spread misinformation. Any help would be appreciated, thanks

Hello!

@blindbeta has an excellent post on the subject, which I'll link here [Link].

In your character's case, the cover would serve more for protecting their eyes and less for photophobia or other sensitivities. One of the points that's mentioned heavily in the post is to ask why your character is using a cover for their eyes.

In this case, you've already answered that question. Your character needs to protect their eyes from infection and further damage but doesn't have the option of prosthetics and glasses are inconvenient and could fall off or get in the way.

That being said... wouldn't a blindfold also get in the way?

A blindfold would be more of a problem in combat than a pair of glasses with a strap securing them. A blindfold gives his opponent another way to grab onto him (Think of ponytails) or something else to get caught on.

Also, if the goal is preventing infection, a blindfold would do the opposite here. Fabric is notorious for encouraging the growth of bacteria, fungi, and other microorganisms. When it's pressed up against your character's eye sockets while they're fighting and sweating, it's also creating a very humid and moist environment.

Back when I was still rock-climbing and would go blindfolded, the blindfold would become gross and sweaty after just a few rounds. I don't even want to think about how it would have been after a day of fighting and adding in the blood and other fluids that would be on it. This can be especially problematic if your character is living in a secluded place where he may not be able to properly wash the blindfold as often as needed.

In general, the goggles (Or a pair of secured glasses) may be a better way to go. They'd be less of a liability in combat and be much more effective at preventing infection than a blindfold would be. There's also the fact that they would be much easier to clean if it ends up being necessary.

Now, you didn't specifically ask about this but I would just like to point out that prosthetic eyes aren't just used for preventing infection. Prosthetic eyes allow you to maintain the function of your eyelid and ensures that your eye socket keeps its shape. Depending on your character's circumstances, this may or may not be a concern for them.

Regardless, I'd definitely suggest looking into this and giving it some thought if you haven't.

Here's a few links to get you started:

A brief article discussing the benefits of prosthetic eyes.

An article that talks about prosthetic eyes in general. It also includes some brief information on prosthetic eyes in the past, which may be of interest to you.

Some FAQs about prosthetic eyes. Most of this is more specific to the current prosthetics offered but has some general info as well.

If you haven't done so already, I'd also advise checking out the linked post from @blindbeta since it has some excellent information about the specific trope.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icaus

#mod icarus #anonymous #blindness #eye prosthetics #blindfold trope

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cheesus-doodles · 1 year ago

Note

i wonder how izana is like if he had a s/o during the time when he was the black dragon leader

Red Dragonflies Masterlist | Masterlist

‎‎‎

i have actually answered this previously in these Relationship HCs ! and this is also the case in my red dragonflies AU, former gang leader reader is actually Izzy's s/o when he was the black dragon leader - have linked the masterlist up top cough

but because I like to rant, here are some more thoughts about yan black dragon-era Izzy and you, which can apply to both regular reader and gang leader reader!

Izana was probably already very unstable and jealous during his time as the 8th Gen Black Dragon leader, what with the entire situation between Shinichiro constantly talking about Mikey, and learning that the Black Dragon gang would go to said boy instead of him. Combined that with him having found you as an s/o, someone that Izana would see as his, something that he could finally own and keep to himself without having to share (unlike the whole situation with Shinichiro), no doubt that it wouldn't take long for Izana to swing into yandere tendencies, becoming extremely overbearing and overprotective over you.

‎

With you around, there is a very clear difference in Izana's mannerisms and general behavior. Almost a personality flip in fact, it's night and day how he acts in your presence and when you aren't present. After all, there's a certain way that Izana wants you to perceive him as, and then there's everything else - so this white-haired boy would be sure to carefully tailor and adjust how he acts around you to what he knows you like (to a certain degree of course). As long as you don't threaten the status quo, as long as you keep by his side and his side only, your precious Izzy is whoever you want him to be. Loving, kind, doting, he can almost seem to read your mind and predict your moods.

Knows how to make you feel better after a shitty day, knows what to say and what to do to get you falling heads over heels for him over and over. But don't let that fool you into thinking that you were beyond his manipulation, because nope, not a chance. If he even has the slightest doubt that you were drifting away from him, or worse, thinking of leaving him, expect for Izzy to start subtly tearing you down. He wouldn't sound any different from what he usually does, cooing, low, soft murmur, but the things that slip from his mouth; it pokes at your insecurities, stirs the doubts you have about yourself. Yes, you were the most beautiful person he had laid eyes on, but did you think that really extended to everyone? Surely, surely you know that only he can love you like this? You couldn't possibly survive away from his side the way you are, right?

In his mind, Izzy is only doing it because he loved you as much as he did - you were made for him, like he was made for you. He couldn't live without you, so even if he had to hurt you a little, it'll all be worth it. You'll see that it was all for you.

‎‎

Wouldn't be uncommon to see him roaring down streets, both city and mountain ones alike, on his motorbike with you clung to his back and with no specific destination in mind - just likes to spend time with you, brings you anywhere that you want to go. Besides, the delinquents in the city, be they Black Dragons or rival scum, know better than to stare at the two of you. Loves light, airy places, so be prepared to spend a lot of time just hanging out together on rooftops and mountains, somewhere where you can feel the breeze through your hair, where Izzy can get you all to himself. All your attention being on him is the best kind of date.

There's no such thing as privacy, period. He absolutely needs to know everything that happens in your life, and anything less would earn you a full tantrum and fit. Put simply, its either Izana is there, hovering next to you and keeping one violet eye on all your ongoings, and no doubt this baby boy has someone (cough Inupi cough) tagging you from a respectable distance when he isn't free. That is, on top of having unfettered access to everything on your phone; call logs, messages, photos. Nothing is secret from him, why would it be? What do you have to hide from your partner?

You don't go anywhere new without Izzy. Why do you have to? What were you hiding? Your future husband would be happy to take you anywhere you have to go: cafe, the new department store downtown, even festivals. So unless you were trying to hide something from him, why wouldn't you want him to go along? Don't you know how dangerous it is out there? What if you get jumped by a rival gang? Needless to say, keeping presents a secret from this boy isn't a walk in a park.

‎‎

Everything else that Izana doesn't think you would approve of seeing would be done out of your sight. He doesn't like having you see the darker side of your boyfriend, the one that deals with weapons and drugs, the one that beats people, both civilians and his own gang members alike for the mildest of perceived infringements against you. You were too soft, too delicate for that. What if you got scared off? What would he do if you became frightened of him?

Instead, all his rage, all his hatred, he poured into the Black Dragon gang, leading them down darker and darker paths. The entire world was scum as far as he was concerned, trash that he had to beat and flatten into perfection so you didn't have to foul your hands and feet.

Sure Izana couldn't keep Shinichiro to himself as much as he desperately wanted to, the first time he truly found family - the source of a lot of his anger and jealousy. He hated Mikey, and always will, for stealing his older brother. But you were perfection, divinity, and you filled the hole in his heart; you didn't have to see that side of him if you just stuck by his side and returned his love. You were the only thing giving stability to a very fragile Izzy, and god only knows what would happen to him if that stability ever left. Izana would give you the sun and the moon if you wanted them both, all he asked for in return was your loyalty.

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soaringwide · 1 month ago

Text

PAC: What is the current situation of this job and where is this leading you?

[ko-fi extended: What shift to make to improve your situation?]

PILE 1 > PILE 2 > PILE 3

In today's readings, I'm going to take a look at your current job situation, as well as where this is leading you.

In the ko-fi extended, I'll take a look at what shift you can do to improve your situation, and we'll see if it has to do staying in the same spot and do things a bit differently, or changing job or career altogether.

Keep your situation in mind when selecting a pile, and, as always, remember that this is a general reading meant for multiple people and that not everything might resonate, so take it or leave it and remember you are the one who makes the final decision.

If you like my style, feel free to check out my paid readings on ko-fi or the link bellow.

Link to part 2 extended on ko-fi.

book a reading ★ all PACs ★ pinned post ★ instagram

PILE 1 - Black Horse Head

Cards: Queen of Wands, 7 of Wands, Temperance, Forgive, the Moon, Strength, Love, Nurture, 5 of Swords, 6 of Pebtacles, 8 of Swords, Dreams, Let Go, Jealousy, the World, 6 of Cups, the Emperor, Slow Down, Trauma, Acceptance

Current job situation

This job represents a lot for you, in the sense that I can see that you had to struggle a lot to get where you are currently. This position didn't fall on your lap on its own, you had to fight for it, learn resilience and work towards it patiently day by day. It made you a very ambitious and driven person. I think this is also somewhat healing for you to be where you are, in the sense that you it's correcting the wrongs of your past. Perhaps you thought you would never achieve it, but then you did, and it makes you confident in your abilities and yourself in a way that you weren't before.

I think some days might be harder than others, some days you might need to compromise in order to keep the peace of the situation, be compassionate and see things from a wider perspective in order not to get caught into petty drama, but overall, I think the situation is pretty positive, although not perfect by any means. For one, I don't think your situation is perfect on the financial side of things, as I see a lack of signs for that for you right now, or perhaps it doesn't offer you enough ease or stability as you might need.

How does that make you feel

I think you enjoy what you're doing in this job and that it really makes you feel like you're growing skill-wise and nurturing yourself professionally. Perhaps it's giving you opportunities to do so, or perhaps simply the job itself pushes you to improve constantly due to the tasks and challenges you are facing. There is this idea that it's making you more refined and more experienced at tackling whatever you need to do at your current job.

However, there is something bubbling under the surface, and I'm getting the idea that you might fear stagnation at some point. You might be wondering if it's all you can do and if there is not something else that could help you grow even more. It might partly be a financial concern too. Perhaps you feel like you could earn more for what you do, or receive more success and recognition than you currently have.

What are you thinking about

Here it's quite interesting because while your feelings where pretty positive overall, you are thinking a lot more critically about this situation.

You think you are a bit stuck at the moment and can't see where things could go from here. It's like, yeah I'm here handling things amazingly, but what more is there for me? Am I giving more than what I receive? Am I getting the short hand of the stick and losing on some benefits? You're wondering if you should let go of this, comparing what you have to what others have and dreaming about what your life could be like in a different setting. It's creating some resentments and making you wonder if you should do something about your situation. It's also like after all you've fought, the dust has settled and now your fighting spirit is looking for the next battle, but going round in circles not knowing where or how to direct this drive, making you feel a bit caged in.

To be more clear, it's like yeah my situation is not too bad, but check what others have elsewhere and that I could get too, isn't that tempting? There is a hint of jealousy here, which is not necessarily a bad thing because it can be a powerful driving force, but yeah it does indicate a tendency to compare yourself to what you see around.

Where is this situation leading you?

There will definitely will be a point where a chapter will come to an end, and you will have to make a choice.

There is a desire for new financial and professional opportunities, the need to grow on that front and improve your conditions. But I think it's not a simple choice and that it will feel quite overwhelming and hard to make. I'm thing that could happen, is to take on more responsibilities, either with a higher role that gather more recognition, or a leadership position.

However, this will require some personal sacrifice on your part that you might not feel completely at ease to make and may be quite painful too. While that happens, you may start to feel like you want to focus on simpler things, a sweeter life that allows you to slow down and really appreciate the little things and rekindle with joyful times and a more carefree mindset. It's entirely possible that when this opportunity to climb up arise, so arise the doubts and the need to take things easy, so it will be complex to navigate.

In the extended for you Pile 1, I'll look at what shift you can make in your career to improve your situation. Head over here to see (membership needed).

PILE 2 - Orange Fiery Horse

Cards: The Moon, Creativity, 8 of Pentacles, Change, Queen of Wands, Sorrow rx, 9 of Swords, Love rx, 2 of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, King of Swords, 7 of Pentacles, Healing rx, Knight of Swords, Ace of Swords rx, the Fool, the Tower, King of Wands, Justice, Queen of Cups, the World rx, Knight of Cups, Protect your Feelings

Current situation

I can see that you're working hard, not only simply to do your job well, but also to sharpen your own skills in order to prepare you to expand professionally. I see you being drawn to changing something and throwing yourself in the work even more so that you are fully prepared when this time comes. You want your work to shine for you, to show what you're capable of, and transform your life as a ripple effect.

There was a time where you didn't feel confident in your abilities, you used to feel less-than, unworthy even, might have been a late bloomer professionally who took longer than others to find their stability. This was not an easy space to be in and created a lot of emotional and mental pain. I see that you've overcame that though and are now standing much more confident and optimistic. Yet this left a mark on you and I think, you still hold the shadow of your struggle close to your heart and I think you haven't totally left this shaky, survival mode totally.

Because you're currently quite confused about where this job or career is leading you. I think that for some of you, this career requires you to use your creativity in some way, and I see that you may be wondering whether your creative skills are best used here or perhaps are wasted a little bit. There is this idea that you might dim your creative light a bit when applying it to the tasks, working rather than creating. Would make sense if it talks about a creative job that is different from what an artist does. I think you're wondering if it's the right path.

This is making you doubt everything, seeing all that you are lacking, pressing on your old and current wounds. You might be falling out of love with what you do and this is causing immense pain, you might have trouble sleeping or a sleep schedule out of whack at the moment. You're thinking a lot about what is happening, what could go wrong, and above everything what is missing from your life. I really get a passionate, creative person who see things on a big scale and is feeling frustrated with the current situation.

What are you feeling

Here the idea of time and fate comes very strongly. It's like you've been waiting and waiting for your moment to shine to come, and you can feel things could take a turn soon. I think you desire to feel in tune with yourself and the world, to feel like what you do matters and help make the world a better and more harmonious place. Success is desirable but I don't think you're necessarily after that, it's more about meaning and purpose, passion and personal accomplishment here. You want to merge your soul with what you do, and you haven't been able to do that yet.

You have high goals and you know you can go after them, it's just that it's like it's behind a thick wall and I see you growing frustrated by how long it's taking. You're not an impatient person, on the contrary, you've proved time and time again that you were resilient and patient, going after your goals one by one, step by step, and harvesting what you could when it was time.

I also see that this feeling that things are about to shift feels like the last piece to your healing, which is currently a bit at a standstill due to your external circumstances. It's like you feel a bit stagnant, again waiting for an opportunity, anything to confirm what you feel inside.

What you're thinking about

Here, first, there is the thought that you need to do things now, that you can't wait anymore. There is a sense of urgency here and a restless energy making you look for something, anything to get out. A crack in the wall to pulverize and escape. However, there is a lack of clarity, and it's like you're splashing water, going round in circle in your head, hurrying without knowing what you're doing or where to direct your energy. You could be trapped in a vicious cycle of picking up projects and letting them go very regularly, because you feel this pull to do something and you follow the excitement, but then there is that lack of clarity regarding where to go with that so you drop it and jump onto the next thing.

You're also thinking that in order to reach that point where you can embark on that new journey towards your true passionate and unique path, you need to throw a big kick into what you currently have. You want a clean slate, you want to break free and be able to walk lighter towards something better. I can sense a lot of mental restlessness again, perhaps even some aggressiveness and desire to burn the bridge behind you. You're tired of feeling like a caged animal and I see you going on in grand discourse in your head about how you don't agree with this situation and how it's tying you up and how you're not meant to live that.

Where is this leading you

Okay so this section assumes that you're staying where you are.

In case you don't leave or change path, I see you taking on more responsibilities and challenges within you current role. Putting your foot down and asking to reposition what you do to do more of what you need and less of what you don't. Rebalancing things in a way, improving your situation while not making a drastic change. This would allow to sooth the tension a bit and allow you to expand in a way that you wish within the same role. Could also mean taking more of a leadership role for some of you.

However, I don't think it will solve anything on the emotional satisfaction side of thing. I think you will still get caught dreaming about what other amazing thing you could do and how that would make you feel so much more fulfilled. You may still feel like you're achieving nothing here, feeling stuck on a phase that you can't get past, still waiting for that turn of events. This may make things turn sour down the line, despite your efforts to ease the tension.

In the extended for you Pile 2, well take a look at how to shift things, especially when it comes about NOT stating where you are, and what it could look like and could bring you. Head over here to read it in my ko-fi memberships.

PILE 3 - Horse Couple

Cards: 2 of Pentacles, Ambition rx, Unknowing, 5 of Swords, Resentments rx, 9 of Wands, Overwhelmed, 10 of Pentacles, Anger rx, the Hanged Man rx, Anxiety rx, the Tower, Courage rx, 2 of Pentacles, Nurture, 7 of Wands, Relieved rx, 5 of Cups, Wounded Heart, the Star, Happiness, 7 of Cups, the Hierophant, the High Priestess

Current situation

Your current job situation seems very unstable in the sense that it seems to be the source of a lot of tensions, if not straight up full of conflicts, but also because you don't see how it could provide you with opportunities for personal growth. I want to say something like "it cut your wings", as if it rendered you unable to go after your dreams because you just had to follow that path in the past. You do know that things are possible, but the darkness you see is so thick that you can't pierce through it. And all the things happening at work make everything worse because it is so draining. You keep everything on the inside to stand strong in front of what is happening, but it's no use and it keeps bubbling up to the surface anyway. I can sense a lot of repressed anger, intense frustration due to the fact that you are currently unable to build something worthwhile for yourself. There is a glaring lack of positive feelings in your reading, as if they were all drained out. The only things remaining are the sharp words storming around you, the burns of the battle fought every day, and the shaky ground upon which you can't build anything.

What you're feeling about that

With the Hanged Man in reverse, I think you don't feel ready to leave though. You are scared to take a risk that could prove worse than your current situation, and even if you know that not trying anything will not result in any new opportunity, the fear of failure and rejection is keeping you stuck. I think you have trouble facing those fears and you're pushing them down, preferring staying in your comfort zone even if that means not changing anything. You feel things are about to go up in flames, or you already living it, but you'd rather see it through than moving before it's time. It's like you feel that as long as you're not facing a pile of ashes, you won't feel like it's time to move on, strangely.

What you're thinking about

I do feel that the thought of what lies ahead is present in your head though. The desire to plant a new seed somewhere else and tend to it. However you're still doing it in the rotten comfort of your current situation, hiding behind a wall of foggy plans where you don't have to take any actions because it's all in your head at the moment. You feel worried at the thought of getting out there and confronting the obstacles that will stand in your way. Perhaps even you're imagining them worse than what they could be, the worse possible scenario before you've even attempted anything. You focus on everything you would be loosing instead of seeing that you actually need to drop a lot of things off, that it might not be such a bad thing in the end considering your current situation, and that you are not actually losing everything, you still have a lot on your side. It's like a very anxious and neurotic attachment to your current circumstances. You know it's not good yet you feel like it's going to be the end of the world if you lose it, unable to imagine something else.

Where is this leading you

So if things stay as they are, I see you continuing this cycle of indecision, deluding yourself and refraining from making a choice, which in itself is a choice, you know, until things become so tense within you that you are forced in one direction. There is a choice to make though, and it's between two things:

One, keep playing by the rules, saving face and keeping up appearances in the hope of being granted what you deserve if you play the game right. Waiting for grace to finally be bestowed upon you, like a prayer answered. It has to do with following a structure, climbing the ladder or entering a contract or partnership of some kind. All within a well established structure that you are a part of. Finally being acknowledged by the system in place, being seen as deserving for doing things right.

Two, and this is triggering a lot of fears for you, a more solitary and twisted path. It would be about embracing your own inner guidance and spending time in your own darkness to learn from it. Lending a hear to what your soul is actually telling you. There is silence and solitude. The need to find your own path removed from the system.

So this is the choice where your current situation is leading you. In the ko fi exclusive extended, I'll look at what do you need to know to make that choice, and what you can do right now to shift things in your favor. Head over here to read.

#pick a card #pac reading #tarot reading #pick a card reading #tarot #divination #pick a picture #pick a pile #tarotblr #tarot community #soaringwide #soaringwide tarot reading

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myfictionaldreams · 2 years ago

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hello! i was wondering if it was possible to write a poly!marauders story about y/n using their safe word during overstimulation and the boys stopping to help them through aftercare.

i love seeing the proper use of consent in your stories and would just like to see one ab the care given when you sometimes need to stop mid way.

love your stuff!

A/N: I loved this request, thank you for sending it. I hope you (and everyone reading) are having a lovely weekend!

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, fluff, angst, rough sex, intense, overstimulation, use of safe word, bdsm, dom/sub, size difference, panic attack, overwhelmed, crying, hurt/comfort, praise kink, aftercare, cuddling

Words: 2.4k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

Overwhelmed. That was one word you’d use for the current situation.

Your body was coated in all manners of different bodily fluids including sweat, spit, your juices and two other clumps of cum, one that was dribbling out of your mouth and the other was being used as lube by the third person involved.

Remus’s towering form was hunched over you, his cock pumping into your highly sensitive, sore cunt. It had been hours of intense fucking from all three of the marauders, so much so that a faint buzz had settled in your ears, muffling the voice of your boyfriend as he tried to coax another orgasm. “I know you can do one more for me love, just one more”.

“No”, was your exhausted response, eyelids drooping.

The word ‘no’ may have been muttered by you but it wasn’t necessarily a stop word, not in the current dynamic of the relationship. The four of you had a very specific dominant and submissive relationship and abided by the colour-coded safe word system, or if one of the three boys deems you’d been going for too long, everything would stop. This was meant for certain scenes to play out, you could say certain words to play along but if red or yellow was even mentioned, all trust was in the men looking after you to stop.

Even in your delirious, fucked-out mind now, you were still aware of these rules and even though it was a relentless session, you were holding out on the hope that Remus would be cuming soon, needing him to find his fulfilment.

However, the minutes ticked by and his thrusting continued with no end in sight. It hadn’t only been a long day, it had been an intense weekend. One day led into another and upon waking the euphoric, happy buzz that filled your veins with adrenaline had you instantly jumping onto one of the Marauders.

Now it was taking its toll, the pleasure seeping away and replaced with stinging, aching and discomfort. The thought of even another orgasm that would cause your pussy to flutter and spasm had a sense of dread, something you never thought would even cross your mind. However, glancing up at Remus, seeing the lust in his eyes, lips still moving in praises meant to make you feel safe and you did for the most part.

The thought of him cuming, finding his thrill and coating your insides to mix with the other Marauders cum was what kept you going and even though the safewords did momentarily cross your mind, the worry of them being upset that you were in pain and the embarrassment was enough for you to hold your tongue.

Remus slowed down his thrust, his scarred hand gripping your jaw sturdily, thumb moving to swipe across your lips, capturing the dribble of cum and pushing it into your lips. Happily, you sucked on his thumb, hoping the sight would excite him and it did for you too, the salty goodness a quick distraction.

“Good girl, you’re doing so well for me, just want one more orgasm Pup”, his lips found yours as he finished his sweet praises. Remus knew the exact phrases to say, he was so tentative and wanted the best for your pleasure and this only added to your own reasoning as to why you wanted him to find his end rather than your own.

James and Sirius were the same, particularly today. This may be why you were extra sensitive, the two quidditch players had sucked, licked and fucked their way to so many orgasms you’d lost count before Remus had even touched you.

Remus lifted his upper body up, leaning on his knees between your legs, still thrusting slowly and you could feel the drag of his cock against your swollen walls. With a hand on each thigh, Remus hiked your legs up higher on his hips, the grip tight, making sure the two of you were moulded together but from this angle, it meant his cock could press that little bit deeper.

This only lasted for a couple of thrusts before the tall Gryffindor was relaxing his hold on one of your legs to idly rub circles against your overused, swollen clit. The feelings almost took your breath away, imaginary sirens blaring in your mind, immediately shouting “no”, eyes clenched closed and then the word was automatically stumbling from your trembling lips, “red”.

The sensations went from overwhelming discomfort to instant relief as Remus within a second was off of your person, hands untouching and cock swiftly pulling out, leaving you throbbing but empty.

James and Sirius were by your side in an instant as well, all three hovering over you and it was like a tidal wave of one area being overwhelmed from physical to mental. Guilt was the first one, the look of worry etched on each of their faces, you didn’t want them to feel like that, it was supposed to be a nice time, instantly regretted using the safe word.

“Love, look at us, are you ok? Did I hurt you, was it too much”? Remus’ voice was laced with regret and panic as he tried to soothe the skin of your cheek with his thumb.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry”, your panic was engulfing, your body trembling with anxiety but this only caused the panic to increase as it felt like the world was collapsing in, the air seeming thick so you couldn’t breathe properly.

“She’s hyperventilating”, Sirius was the first to move, shifting his arm underneath your back, lifting up your body so he could easily slide behind, using himself to prop you upright. His lips hovered next to your ear, forcing you to listen to him, as the rest of him enveloped around you so his body heat could try and ground your panic attack.

James cupped your hands, holding them firmly whilst also stroking the back with his thumb in circles as Remus remained in front, cupping your face still.

Even though this situation had not happened during sex before, there had been occasions where you’d experienced panic attacks this severely and after much communication, they’d found that you liked to feel tight and contained, whether it was in a blanket that you were wrapped in or all of their bodies. The four of your bodies were still naked which also helped, to feel warm and safe in their embrace.

You were still struggling to stabilise your breathing into a normal pattern, heart pounding, feeling like impending doom, eyes tightly clenched closed but tears were still streaking down your cheeks. Remus was quick to catch these with his thumbs.

“Love, listen to my voice, I need you to look at me”, his voice was low and calm as he spoke, trying not to let his own panic about the situation dictate how he looked after you.

“I’m sorry- I didn’t mean- to say it-” you choked between quick breaths, beginning to feel dizzy, head attempting to lul back but unable to with the grip on it.

James lifted your hands up to his mouth, kissing your delicate fingers, shushing your words, and feeling his voice vibrate against your skin. Sirius was just the same from behind you, working with the two other marauders to use soft commands to get your breathing to calm.

“Stop talking sweetheart, I need you to open your eyes and look at me”, Remus continued, using a slight hint more authority in his tone, hoping to snap it through your anxiety. It worked as reluctantly your eyes snapped open, expecting to see him angry from stopping but all that was looking back at you were the warm eyes of Remus.

It was hard to try and rationalise any thought when your emotions were so heightened, knowing that it would have been absolutely fine otherwise but this had escalated so much in your mind that only the worst thoughts were circulating.

“Well done”, he made sure to add emphasis to the praise, to hope that you knew he truly meant it. “Now I need you to slow your breathing, keeping your eyes on me”.

The eye contact was helping but it did take a few attempts to stop trying to desperately take a deep breath. It was only when James moved your hands onto his chest that you could ground down to something, feeling his own breaths, how long he would breathe in for compared to breathing out. As you finally found any sort of rhythm with your breathing, were you able to concentrate on the others as well.

For example, Sirius’ soft commands of “in and out” as he moved his chest that was still holding you up, physically moving your body with him which helped immensely.

It took a while of stuttering and being forced to not talk but to only concentrate on your breathing, all the whilst holding eye contact with Remus. Eventually, you were calm, the sensation of doom or passing out having passed, only instead replaced with shame and embarrassment.

“That’s it, keep going, nice and slow”, Remus interrupted you as your mouth opened to speak but this was something you wanted them all to hear.

“I’m sorry”, your voice was croaky and barely above a whisper. The tears were still flowing and you were sure to look like a mess but from the sad smile Remus was giving you, he didn’t give anything away. Sirius’s gentle kiss against your neck made your heart beat a little quicker with how soft he was being, the subtle tickle of his long hair against your shoulders caused a slight shiver to pass through you.

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for”.

“But you didn’t cum”, again shame was writhe throughout your body, cheeks heating as Remus continued to make sure you looked into his eyes.

“Love, I would never cum again if it meant that you were comfortable during these moments. Don’t ever apologise for using safe words, they’re there for all of our safety, we need to listen to each other.” His words were almost like a warm blanket, muscles relaxing slightly into all of their grips. Of course, you knew he meant those words and that was what had been discussed before and agreed to, just your anxiety and panic for some reason changed your outlook on it.

Finally, the tears slowly stopped dropping and Remus’ grip of your face relaxed, the warmth disappearing was a loss but automatically you were able to relax back into Sirius’ shoulder, turning into his neck as he held you.

“Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?” the words sounded just as ashamed as yours previously did.

“No, no it’s ok, it’s just sore and the thought of having another orgasm just set me off I think, I’m sor-”.

It was James to cut you off, lifting his rough hand to cover your mouth entirely, eyes gleaming with mischief. “I’m banning the word sorry from your pretty lips”. Beneath his hand, you couldn't hold back the small smile, which he felt and was speedy to remove his hand so he could see the small spark of joy in your expression. “Ah, more of that please”.

The four of you sat in momentary happiness but the discussion needed to be had so Remus gently tipped your chin in his direction with a single finger. “Talk to me, so we know what we need to be doing better next time”.

“I’m just sore and overstimulated I think and I think I forced myself to go on for too long because I wanted you to cum but it was a little overwhelming”.

“I’m sorry, Love”, it was Remus now to look distraught at causing the discomfort but you were quick to brush that away.

“No please don’t be sorry, you didn’t know I was feeling like that”.

“I think it’s something we can all learn from”, James continued speaking on everyone’s behalf, taking a moment to pause and kiss your temple before continuing. “We’ll be more careful next time and maybe check in more frequently if you’re reaching your limit rather than just using the safe words. However, it is a group effort darling, we have safe words to limit the use of red so please if you’re ever feeling remotely uncomfortable, say yellow or red. Even if it's as simple as changing positions or having a drink of water, we will discuss it to stop it from getting to the point of using the red word and you being overwhelmed. And please never feel like you have to suffer just for our benefit, we can take care of ourselves if you don't want to continue, how does that sound?”

A lump formed in your throat as you stared into the big hazel eyes of James. How could you ever be worried that they’d be upset at you, they always made it known your priority was first.

“Yes, that sounds good”, you made sure to respond verbally, smiling as you finished the sentence.

Sirius’ kiss against your cheek had you turning towards him slightly as he asked, “how does it feel now? Are you still in pain?”

“It’s just all throbbing a bit”, referring to in between your legs.

“Can we check?” Nodding your head in response, Sirius helped to lay you back into the middle of the bed, kissing your cheek one last time before easing out from behind you. Remus and Sirius checked all over your body for any signs of injuries, the most obvious being the swollen and physically throbbing cunt.

James lay beside you, talking you through everything, keeping you smiling and occupied as Sirius found some cooling gel that had been previously used to help soothe when you were overused. Then as Sirius used his wand to delicately clean up the liquids coating your body, Remus sat on the edge of the bed, making sure that you drank a full glass of water, praising you when you handed back an empty glass.

He then too joined the bed, lying on the opposite side to James and handing everyone a chunk of chocolate from his secret stash, the sugar perfectly needed. Snuggled between James and Remus, you could hear Sirius shuffling around somewhere before he casually asked, “Have you guys heard of the muggle singer David Bowie?”

“Here we go”, James muttered to himself, sitting up to see what Sirius was doing. What proceeded was a lengthy performance filled with props, very off-key singing and theatrics from Sirius who was still very naked but that added to the performance. You laughed so hard that tears were forming in the corner of your eyes.

Even though it had been a stressful night, glancing at each Sirius, Remus and James, you couldn’t help but feel grateful. They made you feel safe, warm and happy.

#poly!marauders #the marauders #marauders smut #sirius black smut #sirius black one shot #remus lupin one shot #remus lupin smut #james potter smut #james potter one shot #hp smut #hp one shot #mine*#sirius black #hp #remus lupin #james potter

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targaryenrealnessdarling · 2 years ago

Note

Hey I’m not sure if you’re doing requests right now (if not then please just ignore😭) if you are doing requests I was wondering if you could write and Aemond x Wife Reader where she’s with child, in where the dinner scene takes place but when Jace goes to hit Aemond the reader tries to stop him and jace blond in anger pushes her and she falls to the floor and starts to bleed (the child is okay in the end) and it the whole table goes quite! Please and thank you!! I love your writing sm💕💕

'If looks could kill'

A/N: I got this request ages ago so sorryyyyyy~ I was unsure how to approach this one as there is a very similar fic by the wonderful @aemonds-war-crime and I was really weary and making it not too similar, hopefully I did it? lol

Go read theirs cos honestly it's better anyway

Warnings: mention of miscarriages, hurt reader, protective aemond, childbirth / Ao3 link

You raised your arms out in a silent plea, feeling too heavy and weak to be able to pull yourself up. Smiling up to him, you wiggle your fingers.

“A little help?” you say in a half-mischievous tone.

“Hm” Aemond responded with that half-smile before bending at the knees to take your hands to pull you up.

You feigned a groan of pain as you came to your feet, one hand stationed under the large bump as if for protection. It took no effort from Aemond at all to pull you up and he smoothed his large hands down your side. He stood before you in silence, but you could feel his eye over your form, beaming with pride at the bump that touched against him. So much so, he placed his palm to it and closed his eye. His expression was so peaceful you would think he is falling asleep, but with a soft laugh you lay your own palm on his face, softly stroking your thumb against it.

When he looks down at you, there is a flash of worry.

“Are you sure you are well enough to do this?” he asks.

Without a beat, you nod, hand still finding its home on his face.

It was only natural that Aemond was worried for you throughout this long and tortuous pregnancy. He had concerned himself with your wellbeing the entire time, making sure the right foods and the right care was provided, lest the servants feel the wrath of a Targaryen soon-to-be father.

It made you regard him with love and trust the way he took care of you. But a tug of sadness was always there.

Before this pregnancy, your marriage had been plagued with a few miscarriages, some later than others, but still painful nonetheless. The first had been the most painful to your emotions and every one after had chipped a little piece of you away with it. But what worried you the most was the extent at which Aemond seemed to hide his own feelings from you. He was always there for comfort when it happened and you desperately wanted him to at least tell you what was on his mind. If he was grief-stricken, would he tell you?

When this pregnancy came around, there was a deep, dark and hurt part of you that thought it would not last. You thought to not get any hopes of passing a particular milestone and many nights you were crying in Aemond’s arms just praying for the Gods to end it if it was not to result in a baby. To spare you the sadness and grief at another lost child.

But days, weeks and months passed and you only swelled more. You would pull the dress under your bump in the mirror to see how big you had gotten and a motherly pride would overwhelm you at the feeling of growing Aemond’s child and heir inside you.

You meet Aemond’s gaze, half-worried, “Are you going to be alright?”

He sighs deeply, “I shall have to be”

You send him a sad smile, resting your hand on top of his, “And you will not antagonise them?”

I raise my eyebrow when Aemond doesn’t respond, a smirk appears on his face.

“I am not sure if that’s a promise I can make”

You huff a laugh and press a quick kiss to his lips, closing your eyes to savour the feeling of him alone with you before you were to share the evening with Rhaenyra and her children.

“Just try and be good”

You smile, knowing that he most certainly will not.

Between waddling to the table and feeling the kicks of the baby against your insides, the evening wasn’t so bad. There was a bit of squabbling for certain and some glares exchanged, namely by Aemond and Luke, but you supposed it was to be expected. Nobody had expected them to be the best of friends after all.

You pushed the food around your place, feeling your appetite dwindle as the night went on. Even the comfort of wine didn’t seem to touch the discomfort you felt at the baby resting on your pelvis. But nothing seemed to cause more discomfort than when Viserys was escorted from the table back to his chambers. The atmosphere changed entirely and there was a thick layer of tension to the room, threatening to snap at any moment.

You watched as Jace invited Helaena for a dance. It would have been nice to see had Aegon not adopted a sour frown at the sight of the brunet’s hands on his sister-wife. Perhaps he felt embarrassed, you were not sure, but it was certainly of no bother to you as you closed your eyes, one hand rested at the bump. A habit adopted only in the last month or two.

You jumped slightly and opened your eyes when Aemond squeezed his hand over yours, looking at you with concern.

“Are you alright, my love” he asked.

You nodded slowly, “Just tired. I may retire soon”

Aemond tapped your hand before pulling back, passing a scathing look to the younger brunet at the other side of the table. Your eyes watch your husband as a roasted pig is brought to the table, and to your discomfort, is placed right before your husband. You close your eyes, hoping Luke isn’t stupid enough to retort to it, but when Aemond turns to see Luke and a hateful smirk makes its way to his face, you know it was too late for the kind words of a wife to bring him back.

Luke immediately ceases his laughter when Aemond’s fist makes contact with the table, standing with his cup. You open your mouth to ask Aemond to calm down, but the words tumble from your husband’s mouth before you get the chance. Everyone in the room has their eyes trained on Aemond.

The tension in the room is as tight as a bowstring.

“Final tribute” he finally says. His deep voice resonates throughout the room, authoritative and well-meaning in his eyes.

“To the health of my nephews”

His eye meets Jace, who is sending daggers at him from across the room, “Jace” Aemond says.

“Luke”

The younger brunet pretends to feign indifference, but he must know as well as everyone else, he is afraid of what his Uncle might do or say, given the circumstances of their relationship.

“And Joffrey”

The table braces themself for more. You look up to your husband on the off chance he is looking down at you to ask him to stop, but he is far too deep now.

“Each of them handsome, wise…”

Alicent looks as if she might throw up anticipating what Aemond then says.

“...strong”

“Aemond” Alicent scolds in a soothing voice, her panicked eyes meet yours. Both the women in Aemond’s life give one another a silent plea that all this end, but powerless to do anything to stop him. And in some strange truth, perhaps Aemond deserves to have this word in some way.

“Come, let us drain our cups to these three strong boys”

Jace’s return sounds angrier even though he is to your back and you cannot see his face, “I dare you to say that again”

“Why?” Aemond barks back, “T’was only a compliment. Do you not think yourself strong?”

You had enough and you rise from your chair as Aemond rounds the table to approach Jace.

“That is enough, Aemond” you scold quietly, placing yourself before him.

Aemond attempts to go around you, but Jace is already advancing and before you know it he is almost right before you. He looks blind with rage, almost unrecognisably so and there is something in his eye which seems unhinged, as if not thinking clearly.

Instinctively, you step in front of Aemond, arm reaching across as if you could offer any protection despite Aemond’s clearly larger frame. But Jace’s eyes only land on his Uncle and without thinking he places his palm flat on your shoulder to shove you out of the way to land a punch to the side of Aemond’s face.

You gasp out as your hand reaches out for the table as you tumble, your weight off balance due to the bump before you. But your eyes widen when your hands miss the table and you topple over the chair to land square on your front on the cold, hard stone floor, landing with a groan of pain.

Hands flat on the stone floor, it takes you a moment to really realise what has happened. Everyone in the room takes a breath and is completely silent while they watch you come to the realisation of what had just happened. Pushing yourself from the floor shakily, you realise you have landed on your bump and a sound halfway between a cry and a choke escapes you as you feel the familiar ache in your womb.

You look up to Aemond with glassy eyes and his form is entirely still, his face stoic and you see his eye flit from you to Jace. His whole body is charged with something and you realise exactly what it is when in just a second he had Jace pressed against the wall, his dagger pressed against the older brunet’s throat. His expression is not crazed or angry and you are surprised just how calm Aemond looks as he threatens Jace’s life.

Jace blabbers incoherently, making half-apologies. All on deaf ears.

Alicent rounds the table in a jog to kneel by you and she goes from helping you to a more comfortable position, to wiping away the tears on your face.

“You dare harm my wife, bastard” Aemond spits, pinning the smaller boy to the wall with ease.

You grip Alicent’s forearm, a new wave of pain crashing through you, taking every ounce of strength with it. She looks down at you with furrowed eyes and out-of-breath you say,

“What’s happening…?” you ask, feeling a warm sensation between your legs.

Rhaenyra and Daemon only watch from the other side of the table as the scene unfolds. Daemon has one hand resting on his sword’s handle, just in case anything goes too far, a sickening smirk on his face.

You look up to Aemond to find he is already staring down at you. The previous anger now turned to complete shock and concern at the situation that has befallen the evening. With a soft sheen of sweat on your face and the lines of tears that had run down your face, you meet his gaze with concern and fear. This feeling you knew and you shook your head, it could not be another, could it? Could the gods truly be this cruel?

Alicent is jittering with anxiety and pulls Aemond off of Jace, having spaced out with the blade still at the brunet’s throat.

“Aemond…” you let out a quiet sob as he kneels to you, “...something is wrong…”

Without thinking, Aemond brings your body into his arms, rushing you with an entourage of people to your chambers. Before he has a chance to question, the family are pushed to the other side of the door, various maesters and midwives all filing in to fill their stations. It was like preparing for battle.

Concealed on the outside, Aemond was entirely inconsolable and paced for hours, flinching whenever you made a sound that evoked pain. He felt his fist clench so hard he thought the bones may give out, and he imagined bashing Jace’s head through for merely laying a hand on you in your delicate condition. Oh the things he would like to do to that boy.

But the sheer anxiety of your situation had him obediently outside your chambers. The family could only wait for those fated doors to open. Alicent grasped her son’s arm in comfort, eyebrows furrowed in worry.

Aemond had been sitting outside the doors for hours now and to put it bluntly, he had made himself sick with worry for your wellbeing. He had heard very little through the thick doors, and this seemed to concern him even more. His eye looked up to find Alicent pacing the hallway before him, seemingly attempting to soothe herself.

One side of the door opened and the maester poked his head out and almost immediately Aemond stood to attention, lending his ear to the maester to whisper. It was the dead of night and in fact may have been very early the next morning, and the Keep was completely silent, even the whispers of the maester seemed to echo.

Face blanched with worry, Aemond was allowed into the room. His gaze scanned the room in a panic, eventually landing on your form, sitting upright in the bed you shared together. Your tired eyes met him and gave him a soft, but exhausted smile, one hand underneath a bundle held tightly to your chest. Your husband’s ghostly white expression never faltered once, fully expectant for all this to be some cruel dream.

You extended a hand out to him and swallowing heavily, Aemond dragged his feet over to you and shakily reached out to touch you. You pulled him to sit next to you, but his gaze was stuck on you the entire time to observe you. Your shift had been abandoned and a silk robe had been tied around you as you laid in bed, multiple cushions and blankets stacked upon one another to create the soft mound to rest your body against.

Your face was flushed and a thin layer of sweat was still evident on your brow, but all the same, your smile warmed him. You huff a laugh as you lay a hand against his face,

“My love” you say, bringing him out of a trance-like state, “this is our daughter”

His eyeline follows yours down to your chest, where a small bundle of a baby was suckling against your chest. A warmth that was not previously there spreads through Aemond’s heart almost painfully and some semblance of colour is once again painted at his cheeks.

His index finger reaches out to stroke the infant’s head. Halfway between a choked sob and a laugh rattles through Aemond’s chest. The infant was small, but flushed with a pink flush, looking healthy. You leaned forward to stroke his hair and he leaned against you, placing his forehead with yours. A silent act of love.

He grasped your hand tightly, not wanting to let go.

“Well done, my love” he said quietly, “I thought the worst”

You look back down at your daughter, who made a content sound, “I did as well” you admit.

After a few minutes, Aemond stood and straightened his clothing, turning towards the door.

“Aemond” you call after him.

His purple eye lands on you once more, softening instantly.

“Don’t hurt him too badly” you smile.

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atamascolily · 3 months ago

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Having examined the first half of Homura's transformation sequence (the external), I thought I'd continue with the second half (the internal). This is a very dense scene full of symbolism I don't fully understand, but I'll give it my best shot.

First up, the spool of pink thread falling through the void. This has appeared several times earlier in the film, in keeping with the whole "threads of fate" imagery, not to mention Homulilly's sewing theme and Homura's own issues with karmic destiny in general (which is inherently linked to Madoka, hence the color).

To me, the background looks like an eye, but admittedly, it's a little abstract and there could be other stuff going on here.

The thread falls past Homura as she is floating in a field of red and yellow "oil drops"

I didn't notice it until the Rebellion Production Note pointed it out but Homura literally has stars in her eyes in this shot. Cosmic!

The thread keeps spinning, but I can't tell if it's winding or unwinding at all because it moves so fast.

Note that the same circles in the background appear elsewhere in the film, most notably in the curtains of Homura's umbrella in the finale.

Homura's pose here also mirrors that of Madoka when she becomes a concept, although notably there is only one Homura here vs. a whole host of Madokas:

Homura then bites down on her soul gem and it cracks... and there's a blink and you'll miss it shot of her intact original soul gem inside!

The circles then move about and form a line, which the thread hits and transforms into the Dark Orb:

The Rebellion Production Note has this to say about the Dark Orb in this scene:

If I'm reading this right, the first caption says, "It's like a perfume bottle", (香水ビン) and the second caption reads, "Contains pink light (Madoka)" [ピンク光まどか) with an arrow pointing to the glowing circle at the center.

So, uh, yeah, in answer to my earlier question, it sure looks like Homura does have access to the Law of Cycles (Madoka) in some capacity, because it's at the core of her reformed Soul Gem--and given the confluence between inside and outside, this is also a model for Homura's universe, as the two are no longer separate from each other.

(I mean, this could be a metaphor for how Homura's love powers the universe and not actually Madoka's powers as the Law of Cycles, but the show has always made its metaphors literal in the past, I don't know why they'd stop now.)

The wings wrapped around the orb didn't make it into the final cut, but after some deliberation, they ended up attached to the salamander that represents Homura instead, because it is a fusion between them.

If you've ever wondered why this sigil was only visible in this shot, it's because it's actually on the bottom of the orb, according to the Production Note, which is why the surface is flat and not curved.

Silverstorm79 pointed out to me that the "dark" part is a cage around the "orb" and I had to go sit down for a while because the symbolism was a little too much even for me. There was also some discussion about whether this makes them literal soulmates now, and I just.... can't even.... Everything in the Rebellion Production Book has to be taken with a grain of salt because a lot of its contents never made it into the final film, but damn if Inu Curry wasn't thinking about it here.

Madoka is also the "heart" of the universe/soul gem--all of which literally exists/was created for her sake. I wonder if this has the side effect of giving her even more karmic destiny/potential than she previously had... and if, so, what would she do with it.

There's a lot in this scene that is still opaque to me (once again I wish SHAFT had been a little less esoteric with their symbolism!!!), but Dark Orb is more complex than I had initially assumed, not to mention representative of both Homura and her new universe. This suggests that changing the universe will require personal transformation on her part; one cannot be accomplished without the other. Going to have to go back and look at the other sections on the Dark Orb in light of these new revelations and see what else I can find about it.

#puella magi madoka magica #madoka rebellion #pmmm analysis #rebellion production note

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vitaminseetarot · 5 months ago

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PAC: Random Messages You May Need 🌈🎆⛅

Sup, y'all. I'm finally back for another pick a card reading. I really apologize if folks have not heard from me over the past month, I meant to get this reading (among other things) out a while ago. I have not been able to touch tarot for the past few weeks. Life has been… topsy turvy, to say the least. Heh heh. [sweating profusely]

I meant to have another game out and to have paid readings available by now--that is still part of the plan. What was meant for June will be in July. So this blog might go from 0 to 100 mph real soon, to move along with plans as intended!

I was loosely inspired by the Baker pride flag from 1978 for this group selection. These piles are pretty nondescript: each one contains a random message that may resonate with you. Pick based on whichever color of the Prism Oracle speaks to you most, and feel free to choose more than one. Take only what resonates.

Pile 1 - Strength (Red) Pile 2 - Happiness (Orange) Pile 3 - Illumination (Yellow) Pile 4 - Movement (Green) Pile 5 - Flow (Turquoise) Pile 6 - Trust (Blue) Pile 7 - Intuition (Violet) Pile 8 - Love (Pink)

Pile 1 - Strength (Red)

10 of Swords, Insight

You've been asked by the universe to put up with a lot, especially recently. You're reaching a finish line of a very long and brutal marathon. There have been too many times where you questioned whether or not to throw in the towel. If you have, you may also have questioned whether or not it was the correct choice. Sometimes, things don't work out, and it's better to move on. It can be difficult to hold everything up when one thing after another seems to fall apart at the seams, but either way you're being reminded of the light at the end of this long and turbulent tunnel.

Collect yourself, pick up what pieces you can. Time has shifted everything, but the essentials still stand. Gather the wisdom you have learned from this ordeal. There is still beauty to be found in the decay, glittering gems in the rough.

Maybe you don't want to get stronger. Healing may feel like a better option than grinding for difficult experience points. Give yourself the rest and repair you need. Let go of only that which is keeping you from starting again, but you don't need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. You've gained so much wisdom and strength, this trial wasn't without gain. Treasure it and begin anew.

Pile 2 - Happiness (Orange)

2 of Swords, Clarity

Whatever answers you seek are coming to you. Or perhaps they've already arrived; open your eyes and see for yourself. You may be wondering which path will satisfy you more. The process of reconciling this could take forever unless you lean on your gut here. This can't be decided based on intellect alone, for you could get stuck mulling it over for days. Imagining all the different possible outcomes could be taxing for your brain, so narrow it down. Eliminate the weakest links and home in on what excites you. It should feel like an "aha, yes!"

If you cannot see the answer right away, go within to the realm of imagination. Feel your way through. Visualize not just with sight but with yearning. Does the light of the sun make you feel hopeful? Does the cool rain make you feel relaxed? Would an art class expand your capacity to imagine many things, or would taking a science class?

The X mark in 2 of Swords is like a railroad crossing sign. Redirect that train of thought into brighter and more positive avenues of expression. Say "what if" as if you can't wait for something to happen. "What if I saw a shooting star tonight? What if my cute neighbor asked me out?" Let the future shine its beacon for you. It will all make sense in due time.

Pile 3 - Illumination (Yellow)

Ace of Cups, Reconciliation

Have you been staying up way too late trying to figure everything out? Please give yourself a brain curfew: no problem solving or saving the day after 10 pm! I'm getting that you may tend to ruminate on the same strong emotions. For some I'm getting that there is a crush here. There's inconsistent text messaging. I know it's easy to get too nervous about their reply, but try to wait until at least the next day to hear back. They may need time to formulate their words right. They may not even see your message straight away. Take it all in stride and sleep on it; if they want to reach out to you, then they eventually will.

For others in this pile, you may be going through a rough patch with another person right now and could be wondering how things will pan out. Give them time to respond, they could still be processing it. Stay on the more positive end of things with the idea that things will work themselves out. I feel like if you can manage this in a relaxed and non hurried way, the knot will untangle easily. The coffee in the Ace of Cups is very hot, so give it a chance to cool.

There is opportunity in your near future to make up for something that went awry due to a miscommunication error. You may get a chance to make up for a test, appointment, or an interview. You will receive grace for any mishaps. Remember that tomorrow won't necessarily be the same as today, so cherish both the good you have now along with the good that soon awaits you.

Pile 4 - Movement (Green)

IX Hermit, Devotion

Looks like things are progressing faster than you even thought they would. You may be blinking your eyes in partial disbelief: could this ball really be rolling? Indeed, thanks to your efforts, goals are being met and results are more evident by the day. You eschewed a lot of distractions to make this work, so give yourself a pat on the back for the level of commitment you put into it. Some of you in this pile may have just graduated, if so then congratulations! But try not to get too comfortable with your laurels, for you have a long road ahead of you in whatever you do next. This one completion is the start of many.

Does that thrill you? If so, wonderful! On the other hand, some of you may be feeling uncertain about continuing. You may be reviewing your options to see if this really is worth pursuing. Something that requires a lot of dedication and focus on it to the exclusion of all else… yeah, I can see how that can get tiring after a long time. There are folks who can get their Master's right after their Bachelor's, or have another child right after the first, but people can also happily move on to what feels more right for them instead.

It's okay to stop and assess your tracks if necessary. Taking time off is not the same as quitting. It's not losing motivation, it's recovering it. This is your passion and your discipline, not anyone else's. If you need to give other parts of your life more room to breathe, then do so with the confidence that your great work will wait for you.

Pile 5 - Flow (Turquoise)

4 of Wands, Hospitality

Have you been stuck with something for a while? There's a strong sense of a blockage that is being eroded away over time. This process can be sped up by allowing the ice to thaw a little more. "Break the ice." You may be wanting to open up and spend more quality time with other people but don't know how. Or you could be faced with meeting new people and being nervous about interacting with them. Even more so if they're roommates. A few people in this pile could be moving or have just moved. This is a chance to ease up and get to know new people.

This blockage could be a result of the past and of anxiety. The sound of a turning doorknob just jumpscared me as I typed the last sentence. You may benefit from learning about social anxiety and how to manage it. It's not an overnight job for you to fix this, though, but to just be aware of it and not allow it to get in the way of positive change in your life.

If you're struggling to figure out how to deal with meeting new people, I would suggest looking up videos or how-tos on social interaction, especially if a certain etiquette is required for an event. Learn about conversation starters and fun things you could do together like hosting a game night. Practice makes perfect, and over time the blockage will melt into the stream.

Pile 6 - Trust (Blue)

3 of Swords, Conversion

You have a very soft and tender outlook on life, which makes it all the more painful when reality doesn't conform to such a compassionate vision. It doesn't always try to respond to vulnerability in appropriate ways. Much of the time, this isn't from natural events as much as it stems from the ways in which people can treat one another cruelly. You've had some toxic people in your life who have put you through the wringer and attempted to squeeze every ounce of kindness they could from you. Making light of this pain to them only resulted in further deflection and antagonism on their part. The only outcome was to salvage whatever you could and pray for the best.

It is not your job to change their closed minded perspectives. They're on their own, here. Do not concern yourself with their messy inner world and lose any more of your energy. Also, do not attempt to regain what energy has been lost through bargaining either, as much as it hurts to press onward without looking back. You will recover, but you have to move on first and prioritize what you deeply care about most (you included).

There will come a time when your heart will be healed so you can see the brighter side of human connection again. All the beauty that your gentle soul is seeking is still there, shrouded by layers of protective petals that will one day bloom again and your life will truly flourish. For now, this is a time to give yourself all the comfort you can.

Pile 7 - Intuition (Violet)

XII Hanged Man, Spring

I get the feeling that you've been waiting quite a while for some good results to come in. This could either be from something that you started back in the spring, or are waiting to see results which may come around springtime. It is a season of flowers, so you may be waiting for this thing to blossom--that is, to be fully presentable to the public in some way. To have something to show for the time you put in. Like "hey, this is what I've been working on, this came from the seeds I planted." It could be growing in a direction unlike what you're used to, leaving you wondering how it could succeed in such unusual and burdensome conditions.

Lean on your inner guidance when it comes to the right timing. I don't believe that you're currently in a space where you need to push so hard for the best results. You can let things move at their own pace. Over tending to anything can end up in just as much trouble as neglect. There's only so much you can do before you have to let the flower do the growing and blooming for itself.

It's not always easy to sit in the place of uncertainty with the idea that doing more will provide more. But sometimes less is more. What you're creating is coming to fruition and may even turn out better than you expected. Trust in both the knowledge you've earned over time from learning lessons, as well as your natural intuition, to help you decide when it's time to take action.

Pile 8 - Love (Pink)

7 of Swords, Gossip

Let your heart lead the way here, not your worries over what others will think. Sure, you may end up with some people talking about you, but opportunities will keep passing by if you wait for everyone else to catch up to you. Leaning too much on everyone else's perspectives will only distort the vision you have for your own life journey. We all have unique journeys to go on, but unconditional kindness remains at the center of the Love card, the one thing that brings us together. Following life from a heart centered place may result in having others glance over and whisper, but that shouldn't distract you.

There is a rather delicate message here about dealing with friendships, colleagues, or possibly even family. You may have a tricky situation between several other people right now who have beef not with you but with each other. They may be coming to you to air their grievances and ask for advice.

If you care about both of these people, then it's best to approach this issue as diplomatically and impartially as possible and avoid feeding into the conflict. What would an enlightened mindset do in this situation? How would you want the other person to behave if they were in your shoes? Come from a place of pure compassion. They may choose to make amends or not, it's up to them. If their butting heads is bringing you down, it's always okay to step back and take a break. You are not responsible for what's going on in their heart, only your own, so protect yours well.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

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bowtiepastabitch · 10 months ago

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Deeply Transgender and Vividly Pornographic: a deep dive into what makes a fic queer

This is a response to the wonderful @ineffabildaddy making this post, which it was originally going to just be a reblog to but once I started approaching a thousand words it was a bit unwieldy so we're just going all the way. If second base is reading their fics and third base is actually talking to your mutuals, I have no clue what this is.

Here's the prompt text that started it all:

Alright, well I am nothing if not a scientist (narrator voice: they were, in fact, a humanities major), so I spent several hours of my weekend putting this together because I'm a burnt out academic and this is the enrichment in my enclosure. Readers, this is going to contain experpts of some very spicy stuff, so stop here if you're not interested. Me bringing porn? To your tumblr dash? It's more likely than you think.

All fics and such referenced will be linked at the bottom of the page.

~~~

Heteronormativity and cisnormativity, while unfortunately the dominant norm for mainstream pornography, make little appearance within the fandom writing spaces I myself spend time in. That's not to say I haven't read my fair shair of painfully straight smut in my lifetime, but simply that I have taste and am lucky to be neck deep in a fandom with very little of it. Nonetheless, as a card-carrying queer and writer myself, I consider myself quite familiar with the distinctive traits and patterns of queer and cishet pornographic writing. Beyond merely a focus on non-male pleasure or the subtle presence of queer or trans characters, the characterization of queer fanfiction is distinct and has entirely different mannerisms in dealing with conceptions of the body and pleasure. I'll primarily be citing Ineffabildaddy's work, for the sake of a focused analysis, who I will henceforth be referring to as Sam for the sake of pseudo-academic flow.

There are certain linguistic patterns that tend to distinguish heterosexual and heteronormative depictions of sex from queer ones. For instance, "cunt" is utilized sparingly within heteronormative contexts for its vulgarity and added obscenity, whilst queer writers use it pretty universally and without the same subtext. Throughout his writing, Sam works with this queer-coded vocabulary pretty consistently. In "Strawberry Scripture" (F/M), he describes how "Crowley's cunt... was damn-near swollen" and how Aziraphale has to resist "Bury[ing] his face in it immediately." No cis-het man has ever thought about eating pussy that way, and if you find one I'll eat my fucking hat. Likewise, vocabulary for the phallic tends to veer in the direction of "cock" over anything else. Interestingly, this creates a set of contrasting pairings. Heteronormative slang, from my obvervation, is more likely to use 'dick' and 'pussy', and, especially in conjunction, it creates a very distinctive mouthfeel that separates the two and poses them as opposites. 'Pussy', in particular, has a much more feminized feel when juxtaposed against 'dick', favoring much softer consonants and the english diminutive 'y' ending. 'Cock' and 'cunt', in comparison, have a very similar sound and feeling to them, distancing itself from hetero-cis-normative gender dualism of the language. There is, of course, plenty of nuance to this and the use of a variety of language in subverting cisnormative ideas about the sexed body as well, with phrases like 'boypussy' and 'girldick' being rather essential to the way many trans people describe their own bodies. "Fandom's Pornagraphic Subset," (yes I'm stealing sources from my research paper on monsterfucking, suck my dick) an article published in 2021 by Silja Kukka, describes how the "fleshy, hyperbolic descriptions of sex" that characterize this kind of writing are essential to what she dubs the "[creation of] a new genderqueer place outside of the gender dichotomy"(57). If you read enough smut, you know exactly what this is talking about. For example, in "Despite Knowing Better,"(F/M) we get vivid imagery to describe the way "streaks of her spit oozed from her mouth even as Aziraphale fucked it"(Ch5) and of "her walls quivering and clenching around him."(Ch3) This level of graphic sexual depiction goes beyond what would be considered 'tasteful' or 'sexy' in a heteronormative concept of pornography.

In terms of tropes, let's do a deep dive into "Strawberry Scripture"(F/M) to find what makes it queer beyond it's apparently straight pairing. To preface, this fic involves both foodplay and monsterfucking, but we're only gonna analyze one. The inherent queerness of monsterfucking is actually something I've written an entire academic paper on, so I suppose I'll start there. There's something very queer and often very trans about subverting the standard playbook of sexual acts, and while kink itself can easily be heterosexual, most monsterfucking falls far outside that category no matter what genital configuration those involved have. Monsterfucking tends to reject the phallocentrism of heteronormativity and mainstream kink by subverting the concept of the human body itself, giving inhuman and monstrous qualities to characters usually for sex appeal or general kinky shenanigans. While there's an argument to be made for heteronormativity still being able to creep into certain spaces, that certainly isn't true for this fic. There's something intrinsically transgressive about creating an erogenous zone out of a feature that would largely be considered horror or 'gross' in any other form of media, which is exactly what Sam does here as he describes the "cool, satiny sensation that the plates of her scales against his tip engendered." The scales are not merely called apon for their invocation of the unusual but to give them an eroticism in and of themselves, with Crowley reaching orgasm through their stimulation. We also slide gently into Monsterfucker territory in "Close (well you couldn't get much closer)" (M/M), where an argument could be made that the most trans-coded element isn't even Crowley's T-dick but instead the presence of a magic angel dildo. (sentences I never thought I'd fucking say but here we are.) There's something deeply transgender about the deconstruction of genital purpose in sex that recontextualizes the gendered body's role in pleasure. It falls into the same semiotic revolution and reclaiming of the body as the changes in language used by trans folks to rename and reidentify the literal physicality of the body by ones own standards (ie T-dick).

Another major trademark in departing from heteronormatized porn is the shift in narrative focus away from penetrative sex. That is, even in paragraphs where the main sex event is penetration, it rarely takes up even half the prose. The majority of narration is focused on surrounding or tangential actions: "the flowing movement of ... hips was sedate and wanton and lusciously provocative,"(1) "watching the muscles which resided there tense and relax alternately with pleasure,"(2) "his tongue stole past his teeth and slid over them,"(3) and "he whispered, his voice aching and curling and stretching for her"(4); all excerpts pulled from moments in which penetration is taking place, yet the concentration is anywhere but. Likewise, the act of penetration itself only takes up a small portion of physical sex acts in the grander scheme of Sam's writing. Instead, we as readers are presented with a vast spread of cock-sucking, pussy-eating, fingering, teasing, frottage, kissing, and more. Contrast this with the cis-hetero norm, where penetrative sex is the endgoal, and any other action is shucked aside to play second fiddle as mere foreplay. It's the reason virginity as a concept is directly tied to the mystical hymen and one's experience with penetration; a straight girl can suck dick a thousand times and still consider herself a virgin. As such, in a piece of pornographic writing where I have significant trouble finding lines to pull specifically and exclusively describing penetration (seriously, try it out yourself), the heterosexual influence is negligible. And yes, I'm talking about all of them. I had to restructure an entire argument that focused on comparing lines from different works because it was so difficult to find them.

So, in conclusion, Sam, love, there is not an ounce of heteronormativity in even the "straightest" of your writing. Congratulations.

Links, in order of reference:

Strawberry Scripture (3)

Fandom's Pornographic Subset, article by Silja Kukka and a great read

Despite Knowing Better... (4)

Close (you couldn't be much closer)

Many Different Ways to Eat an Oyster (1)

I'm Beginning to See the Light (2)

Author's notes, and then I promise I'll leave y'all alone: Hi! This started as a short analysis but quickly became a three(?)(maybe more?) hour labor of love analyzing the things I love most about both Sam's writing and the writing in this community as a whole. Please please please ask me questions, I'm an autistic little bitch and I like knowing things. My ask box? Open. Comments? Open. Reblogs? Open. If you've read this far, I fucking love you and I am kissing you on the mouth right now. Don't worry, my gender is just queer so it's gay no matter what. <3<3<3

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #ineffable husbands #good omens fandom #nerd shit #why do any of you follow me #gomens

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vilevenom · 2 months ago

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It's so nice to finally be able to release this into the world! Work, migraines and socializing made it take longer than it probably should have to finish. I hope everyone enjoys this incredibly self-indulgent, slice of life fluff fest ❤️ I do want to quickly note, though, that I've never played SA2. I did read a synopsis and did a bunch of research, though, so I hope nothing is too glaringly wrong? P.S - The final word count for this is over 28K. If you'd prefer, I'll be posting this in chapters on AO3 for easier reading. The link for my AO3 in in my pinned post.

Return to Innocence

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog (video games)

Pairing: Sonic/Shadow Warning(s): Description of injury

Summary: Watching Shadow fall from the ARK sat heavy on Sonic's heart. It was his greatest failure and regret to date. He'd thought he'd have to live with that regret for the rest of his life. It would seem that fate had other plans.

Sonic sighed as he trudged through the deluge of rain on his way back home after visiting with Amy. Tails had insisted he go out, despite the rain, since he'd apparently been 'moping around' since they made it back to Mobius from the ARK. He'd said that a visit to Amy should help perk Sonic up, since he usually found her bubbly personality refreshing and sweet.

It did not.

Ever since they'd returned home, when not otherwise preoccupied by the disaster of the week, Sonic couldn't help but let his mind drift back to the last few moments he'd spent in his super form those handful of months ago. He replayed the scene in his mind ad nauseum, substituting every action imaginable to try and think of some way the outcome could have been different. However, and as unfortunate as it was, without Shadow's sacrifice there would have been no way for them to push the ARK out of its crash course with the planet. That didn't stop Sonic from wondering what would have happened if he'd just reached out a moment sooner, though. If he had managed to grab Shadow's hand instead of his inhibitor ring, then maybe they could have both made it back home.

When Amy had managed to pry his thoughts from him (after much bribing with cake) she told him that there was little to no point in dwelling on the past, since there was no way for him to change it. She'd told him that he should do as he promised, and carry Shadow's memory with him, honor it, and do his best to move on. Sonic admitted that, despite Shadow brushing away his reaching hand, he couldn't help but feel like it hadn't been what Shadow had wanted, but what he thought he deserved after everything he'd done. Amy had sighed, filled his tea cup up with something overpoweringly floral, and told him that there was no way for him to know, since, once again, he could not change the past.

Her words did very little to dissuade his mind from plucking at the painful memories and replaying them on repeat.

Once Sonic felt that he'd spent enough time at Amy's to get Tails off his case for a good few days, he bid the pink hedgehog farewell and made his way out into the rain. She'd offered Sonic an umbrella, but he'd opted to stick to the vibrant yellow rain coat that Tails had forced onto him before he'd left, stating that he found the sensation of rain in his quills refreshing. Truthfully, it was more that he was hoping that the feeling of the water cascading through his quills and seeping into his fur would help to wash away the sticky feeling of guilt he carried with him for not trying harder to save Shadow.

His mind was so caught up in swirling thoughts of self-loathing that he very much almost missed the cloaked figure of a Mobian standing in his front yard, staring up into the sky as though it held the answers of the universe. He paused when he finally registered that someone was outside of his house, frowning slightly through the rain at them.

"Hey!" Sonic called, stepping forward, "You okay?" An ear twitch was Sonic's only real indication that the other had heard him, prompting him to continue forward, his hand outstretch towards the other's shoulder. "Hey, man. C'mon, my little brother is inside and you're gonna freak him out if you keep standing in the rain like this."

Sonic's hand didn't manage to make contact before the Mobian was turning, a flash of familiar red quills causing Sonic to freeze as though he had come face to face with a specter.

"…Shadow?" he whispered in disbelief, tears welling in his eyes as he let out a loud whoop, throwing his arms into the air, before wrapping them around Shadow in a fierce hug. "You're alive!" He pushed the dark hedgehog back by the shoulders, "Wait, how did you survive?" He blinked a couple of time before shaking his head and yanking the other back into a hug, "Oh, man, it doesn't even matter! This is so way past cool!" He let out a hysterical little laugh, a bit amazed that Shadow hadn't shoved him away by now, but couldn't bring himself to care much. The guilt and remorse that had been swirling inside him for months now would finally stop.

"I'm sorry," Shadow murmured, catching Sonic off guard with how soft his voice sounded, "But…do I know you?"

That made Sonic reel back, holding Shadow at arms length. "I-…C'mon, Shads," Sonic snorted, crooked grin working its way across his muzzle, "It's not like you to joke."

"I'm afraid I'm not joking," Shadow stated with a short shake of his head, "My apologies, since it does seem that you know who I am. But…I'm afraid I can't recall who you are."

Sonic let his arms drop, his head shaking slightly as he took a short step back. "It-it's me! Sonic? Fastest thing alive? The blue blur?" he gestured at himself, striking a little pose. When Shadow simply shook his head again with a small shrug, Sonic sighed and let his shoulders drop. "The faker?" he offered flatly, arching an eyebrow at the other. When he was still met with a blank stare he sighed, moving to loop his arm around Shadow's elbow. "You know what? It's probably the yellow rain coat. Very off brand for me. Let's just get you inside and dried off, and maybe seeing me in all my unobstructed glory will jog your memory."

"Alright," Shadow said tentatively, allowing Sonic to drag him into the house.

Once inside, Sonic helped Shadow take off his cloak, hanging it up next to his jacket, before he kicked off his shoes and rushed off to fetch towels from the bathroom. When he returned, he found Shadow standing exactly where he'd left him, dripping water onto the rug in the entryway and looking rather confused. Sonic snorted quietly, offering Shadow a towel and nodding towards the living room.

"Take your shoes off and come inside. I promise not to bite," he joked, grin only widening at the slightly alarmed look Shadow shot him.

"I haven't been invited inside someone's home before, t my knowledge. Should I be wary of being bitten by others?" the hybrid asked, carefully rubbing the towel into his quills as he toed his shoes off.

"What? No," Sonic chuckled, waving a hand at Shadow, "It's just a joke. Man, you really were grown in a tube, weren't you?"

"…Was I?"

That gave Sonic pause, stopping to stare at Shadow who was staring right back with a perplexed look of his own. "Do you really not remember?" Shadow shook his head for the third time in what felt like as many minutes, and Sonic had to take a moment to truly take stock of the situation. Up until they were saving the planet, Shadow had been harsh, brash, confident, and violent. He'd been stilted in nearly every interaction he'd had with Sonic, and although he couldn't say for certain, he had a funny feeling that there would have been no way that Shadow would have let anyone touch him, let alone embrace him. But the Shadow now standing in front of him? He'd let Sonic hug him, drag him into his home, was calm and polite, and had just kicked off his skates without a thought when Sonic told him to. "This might be a more serious situation than I thought," he muttered to himself, turning his head to shout into the house, "TAILS!"

"Who or what is a Tails?" Shadow intoned quietly behind Sonic as a racket exploded from the direction of the garage and footsteps quickly approached the living room.

"I didn't break anything this time!" Tails called back as his footsteps approached. He appeared in the doorway of the living room, soot smeared across his cheek. "What's up?" he asked, the grin that had been on his face when he'd appeared slipping away upon seeing Shadow stood in their living room. "Shadow?!"

"Hmm. It would seem that found my way to the right place," Shadow commented idly, draping his borrowed towel around his neck.

"Where…How?!" Tails asked, turning to Sonic even as he gestured wildly at the hybrid.

"Your guess is as good as mine, little bro," Sonic offered with a shrug, "But I think something happened when he fell from orbit. He says he doesn't remember who I am, and he's acting…different."

"Different how?"

"Just…I mean, he's standing in our living room, calmly drying himself off with one of our towels. I would think that'd be a big enough indication that he's a bit off," Sonic snorted, cocking his hip and folding his arms over his chest.

"I mean…That could just be how he acts when he's not being brainwashed by a mad scientist, you know," Tails scoffed, mirroring Sonic's posture.

"…'He' is standing right here, you know. And is, quite frankly, finding this conversation a bit concerning."

At the quiet comment, both Sonic and Tails turned to Shadow with twin looks of apology on their faces.

"Sorry, Shads. Didn't mean to talk about you like you weren't here," Sonic offered, clapping his hands together with a wince.

"Yeah. Uhm, sorry about that. I just…okay. We'll approach this scientifically," Tails added, placing his hands on his hips, "So…We'll start with some simple questions. What do you remember?"

Shadow hummed quietly, shuffling his feet slightly. "Well…I remember the feeling of falling…and then not much? I think someone was carrying me? After that, the next thing I can recall is…walking."

"Walking? That's it?" Tails asked with a frown, tilting his head slightly.

"A lot of walking, yes. I've been walking for some time. And, I know this may sound somewhat odd, but something was compelling me to come here," Shadow finished, looking between the fox kit and Sonic.

"Huh," Tails stated bluntly, while Sonic just stared at Shadow with an odd look on his face. "That's….well, it is weird. But, maybe you feeling a compulsion to come here has something to do with the Chaos Emeralds? After all, if your last memory is falling before walking here, that was just after you and Sonic used the Chaos Emeralds to go super and save the planet. I think we'll need to talk to Knuckles about this."

"Save the planet…? Are we heroes?" Shadow murmured, seemingly mostly talking to himself, though Sonic did offer him a lopsided grin and a short nod.

"We sure are, Shads! Averted a whole global crisis," Sonic said happily, glancing quickly out the front window at the rain still pouring outside. "And if we do wanna go see Knuckles, we're gonna have to wait until after this storm passes. There's no way we're taking the Tornado out in this."

"Mmm, true," Tails sighed, tapping at his chin. "Well…in the meantime, then, Shadow?" The dark hedgehog tipped his head to show he was listening, "Do you mind coming with me to the garage? My work station is out there, and I have some equipment I can use to see if maybe your memory loss is due to hitting your head."

A short battery of basic tests later, with Sonic standing to the side and anxiously tapping his foot, offered the predicted results that Shadow had hit his head hard enough to cause memory loss. There didn't seem to be any other lasting damage, however, which was a bit of a relief to the three Mobians huddled around Tails' computer screen.

"So…what does this mean for me? In regards to my memory, that is," Shadow asked once Tails had read his findings off from the screen.

"Well," Tails hummed, rocking back in his chair, "Honestly, it's really hard to say. Brain trauma is funny that way. They could come back on their own over time, or they may never come back at all. Only time will tell. It is kind of weird, though, since your files indicted you had advanced healing abilities. I'm sort of surprised something like a bump on the head would lead to this, with that in mind."

"That's not overly reassuring, if I'm being honest," Shadow sighed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

"Hey, it's okay, Shads," Sonic said, stepping up to place a comforting hand on the hybrid's shoulder, "You can stay here as long as you need while we try to figure everything out. We'll help you."

"We will?"

"Well, I will," Sonic snorted, kicking Tails' chair so it rolled across the garage floor, earning a peel of laughter from the fox kit.

"Thank you, Sonic," Shadow breathed, placing his hand over Sonic's on his shoulder and offering the blue hedgehog a small smile, "I appreciate it."

Sonic couldn't help but be somewhat dumbfounded at the appearance of the smile on Shadows face, catching himself after a moment of staring and tearing his eyes away to watch Tails jump off his chair and push it back towards his desk. "Y-yeah! Sure, of course! Anytime." He cleared his throat after a moment, finally taking note of the clock on Tails' computer. "Oh, hey, why don't we go make some dinner?"

"Promise not to burn the kitchen down?" Tails quipped with a grin, dodging Sonic's half-hearted kick with a laugh.

"I can certainly help," Shadow offered, pausing for a moment as he rose from his seat, "Not in burning the kitchen down, but with cooking."

"Look at this guy," Sonic chuckled, wrapping an arm around Shadow's shoulders and directing him towards the door into the house, "He's got jokes!"

"I wasn't joking?"

"That makes it even funnier, Shads."

The two walked back into the house, a quiet, thoughtful hum leaving Shadow after a moment. "Why do you call me that?"

"Huh?" Sonic replied rather eloquently, turning his head slightly as they walked into the kitchen, "Call you what?"

"Shads."

"Oh! Uh…it's a nickname."

"A nickname?"

"Yeah. A shortened version of your name? I started calling you that pretty shortly after we first met," Sonic explained, picking dishes and utensils out of cupboards and drawers to start making pizza - one of the few foods he could manage without destroying the kitchen.

"I see," Shadow hummed, watching Sonic intently, "Do you have one?"

"A nickname? Not really. A few monikers that the press like to use, but my name is already pretty short, y'know? There's not much you can really do with 'Sonic'," he replied with an easy shrug, setting a canister of flour on the counter, "Why?"

"Just curiosity, I suppose. It's odd. I can remember basic things, like the alphabet, basic math, things like that. But, other concepts that seem rather straight forward, like 'nicknames' I don't have any recollection of. Is that strange?"

Sonic hummed in thought for a moment, measuring flour into a bowl, along with a handful of other dry ingredients. "I mean…No, I don't think so? As I gathered, you were born and raised on a spaceship, so I'm sure there are loads of things that you weren't taught because of that."

"A spaceship?" Shadow echoed, his ears perking forward in interest as Sonic passed him the bowl of ingredients, along with a spoon.

"Yeah," Sonic chuckled, pouring water into the bowl and quickly instructing Shadow to mix everything together, "Though, I guess less of a spaceship, and more of a space station? You can still see it sometimes, at night. Y'know…admittedly, we didn't know each other for very long before everything sort of went sideways, so I don't know a whole lot, but I can fill you in on the handful of information I do have?"

"Please!"

Sonic laughed lightly at Shadow's enthusiasm, dumping a can of tomato paste into a bowl, followed by a jar of sauce and a variety of spices. He racked his brain for all of the information that Rouge had dug up during and after the events on the ARK. "Okay. Well, like I said, you were born on a space station. It was called Space Colony ARK, and I say born, but I guess it was more like…grown? This scientist called Gerald made you to try and help cure his granddaughter. This was back in the 50's, I think? It's been, like, 50 years since then, and you were in stasis for that. Uh, but I'm getting ahead of myself, sorry. So, yeah, I don't really know how old you were when you became, like, conscious? But apparently you were schooled along side Gerald's granddaughter, and you guys were close. Her name was Maria, if I'm remembering right."

"Maria," Shadow repeated to himself quietly, his stirring slowing momentarily, before he eagerly looked back to Sonic. "What else?"

"Ah, well," Sonic hummed, setting the sauce he'd made aside to start chopping up some vegetables. He dithered for a moment, deciding that, for now, it was probably best to skip the rather tragic end of Maria and the way GUN raided the colony before putting Shadow on ice. And maybe the fact that Shadow was probably part alien. He cleared his throat, shrugging a bit. "A lot of the records are pretty scrambled and some of them were destroyed," not a lie, "so I'm not entirely sure what happened," a total lie, "but a few years passed with you living in the colony, and then you were frozen. I'm sorry to say that Gerald and Maria have both passed away since then, too."

"Oh," Shadow visibly wilted, turning his sad crimson gaze down into the dough in front of him, "So…Do I have any family left?"

Sonic paused in his chopping, reaching across the counter to give Shadow's arm a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry, Shads. That I don't know for sure, but, I don't think so? There are no records that I've seen that would say so."

"…I see."

"B-but, y'know! That doesn't mean you can't build yourself a new family, right?! Tails and I were both orphans, and we're family now," Sonic's mouth ran before he could think about any of the words coming out of it, "And we've got all sorts of friends that are just like family to us, too. You can start building your own little found family, y'know? You can count Tails and I as friends, for sure."

Shadow lifted his gaze, fixing Sonic with a stare so hopeful that the blue hedgehog was pretty sure he would rather die than disappoint. "Really? But, you barely know me."

"I know what's important," Sonic said with a firm nod, "After you got unfrozen, some bad stuff happened, and you helped us defeat the bad guys and save Mobius. I know you have a good heart, and that's all I need."

"Thank you, Sonic," Shadow murmured, his voice thick with emotions that Sonic feared he may just break under if he wasn't careful.

"Of course, Shadow."

Dinner was a relatively uneventful affair after that. The pizza was only mildly burnt, as Sonic got too caught up teaching Shadow how to play 'Go Fish' while it was in the oven. The two had wound up squabbling over a card that Sonic had said he didn't have, but he had to, since Shadow held its pair in his hand and there were no more cards on the board. It was a playfully bitter discussion over dinner, with Tails cackling when he found the wayward card on the floor as they cleaned up the dishes, half tucked under the leg of the table.

"Just admit you were cheating."

"It's not cheating if I didn't even know it was on the floor."

"A likely story."

Tails snorted at the playful banter between the two hedgehogs, more than happy to see his brother back in the chipper spirits he was used to. He'd been worried ever since they'd come back home after the ARK, when Sonic only seemed to dip deeper and deeper into his own dismal thoughts. With Shadow back, it was like those months of wallowing hadn't even occurred.

"Well, I'm going to go back to working in the garage," Tails hummed, more than happy to leave Sonic and Shadow to their own devices to bond.

"Don't stay up too late, little bro," Sonic called as he wandered into the living room and flopped down onto the couch.

"I'll keep an eye on the time," Tails said, pausing in the hallway.

"That's a bold-faced lie if I ever heard one," Sonic snorted, shifting to grin at Tails over the back of the couch.

"Well…I'll try?"

"Not even close."

"I'll go to bed when you come bug me to?"

"The truth is all I ask for," Sonic laughed, sliding back down into a slouch.

Tails hummed, half hiding his grin as he watched Shadow move to sit next to his brother, and Sonic almost immediately flop over to lean into Shadow's space. It was somewhat odd to see Sonic being so physical with someone so quickly, but it was also refreshing. His older brother tended to keep himself well guarded, even around his closest friends. But there was just something about Shadow that made Sonic drop all those walls almost instantly. Perhaps it was the fact that Shadow had been the only creature that could keep up with him, or maybe it was the odd link they seemed to have now due to the chaos emeralds. Either way, Tails was just happy to see his brother happy, and quietly slipped away to the garage as Sonic began regaling Shadow with the merits of the 'Chaos in Space' movie series.

An hour and a half later found Sonic dozing off on the couch as the end credits of the movie rolled, listing to the side enough that he was leaning on Shadow's shoulder.

"Hey," the hybrid murmured, nudging Sonic gently, causing the other to jolt upright with a snort.

"I'm awake!" Sonic cried, before blue ears swiveled rapidly towards the deep, warm rumble of a chuckle that Shadow let out. Sonic blinked, surprised by the soft smile that greeted him as he turned his head to regard the hybrid curiously. In the time he'd known Shadow, he'd only ever seen variations of frowns, scowls and sneers on the other's face, but he had to admit that a smile truly suited him.

"You should, perhaps, think about going to bed? If you're falling asleep, I can only imagine that Tails is already passed out," Shadow hummed, tilting his head in the direction of the garage.

"Yeah," Sonic said slowly, taking a moment to commit the soft look on Shadow's face to memory before he shoved himself off the couch, stretching with a groan and a pop of his spine. "I'll go shuffle him off to bed. Uh," he paused, realizing they hadn't actually discussed where Shadow was going to sleep. "Sorry, it just occurred to me, but, uh…do you mind sleeping on the couch? We don't have a guest room, so it's the only extra space we have."

"I'm more than happy to accept any space you can make for me," Shadow replied with a small nod of his head.

"Cool! Great, uhm," Sonic stuttered, not particularly sure why he suddenly felt like there were butterflies swarming in his gut as Shadow continued to smile at him so warmly, "I'll bring some blankets and stuff back down for you in a minute, okay?"

"I'll be here."

"You sure will," Sonic chirped back, feeling stupid about the words as soon as they left his mouth, quickly exiting the room. He questioned himself quietly under his breath as he walked into the garage, unsure as to why seeing Shadow happy and calm made him feel so odd. The best way he could figure to describe it was 'fuzzy', and maybe 'fluttery'. Maybe it was because the last time he'd seen the dark hedgehog he was in pain and letting himself fall to his apparent demise, so perhaps seeing him so content filled Sonic with some sort of feeling of accomplishment? Though, he'd never really felt that way after saving any of his other friends. Maybe, then, it was the rush of relief knowing that Shadow had survived his fall, and Sonic hadn't truly failed in saving him? That had to be it, he thought to himself as he scooped an unconscious Tails into his arms and carried him up to his bedroom.

When he returned to the living room with spare blankets and pillows, he found Shadow placing the movie case back on the shelf with very bare hands. He froze, trying not to focus too hard on the way the red stripes on Shadows arms extended down to his middle finger, or the fact that there was only one golden inhibitor ring shining around his wrists instead of two, dropping his armload of bedding with a sharp cry of, "What're you doing?!"

Looking rather alarmed, Shadow turned to Sonic quickly, nearly dropping the DVD case he'd been holding. "Putting the movie away? Was that not the correct spot?"

"No, not that," Sonic hurried to say, scanning the room for Shadows gloves and swiftly scooping them up from where they lay on the coffee table, "Put these back on!"

Shadow took the gloves with a slight frown, tugging them on slowly. "May I ask as to why you reacted in such a way to the removal of my gloves? Should I not be touching things in your home without them?"

"No, it's not that," Sonic grumbled, rubbing at his flushed cheeks, "I guess that's just another thing you wouldn't have learned up on the ARK. Mobians don't generally show their hands or feet to people who they aren't close to. Usually close friends, family, or partners."

"Why is that?" Shadow asked, now looking even more confused, and perhaps slightly hurt. "Did you not say that I could count you and Tails as friends?"

"Y-yes! That's not-" Sonic grunted, pressing the heel of his palm to his forehead, "It's more because you've only been here for, like, a day. It's a trust thing, y'know? Not that I don't find it real flattering that you'd trust Tails and I so readily, but hand and feet pads are the softest spot on a Mobians body, so folks don't tend to just show 'em off, y'know? It's, like, a tender area? Private, I guess? You should really only be taking your gloves off around someone you really trust or have known for a long time."

"Oh! Oh, I see," Shadow hummed, rubbing his thumb absently against the palm of his hand, "It's a modesty thing. Like, ah, clothing for humans?"

"Yeah, exactly," Sonic huffed, dragging his fingers through his quills. "Sorry for reacting like that, by the way. It just sort of caught me off guard."

"It's alright. I'm sorry for my inappropriate behavior. Intentional or not. I only removed them as I thought we were preparing for sleep. I thought it might be more comfortable without them."

"No sweat, Shads. I just gotta remember that a lot of stuff is probably gonna be culture shock for you," Sonic hummed, clapping his hands together, "Anyway! I brought all the extra blankets we had upstairs. I don't know how cold it might get down here, and I know at least one of the blankets is deceptively scratchy, so I figured I may as well bring them all."

Shadow chuckled, moving around the couch to gather the blankets from the floor, draping them over the back of the couch. "Thank you. That was very thoughtful."

"I do my best." With that, Sonic bid Shadow good night and headed up to his room.

Come morning, Sonic woke to the sweet smell of pancakes filling the air. He rose drowsily, figuring Tails must have gotten up early to try his hand at making breakfast for their guest. The kit was becoming a deft hand at cooking, and Sonic was more than pleased, since that meant he didn't have to tempt the fates by using the stove as often. He trotted down the stairs, yawning and stretching his arms over his head as he entered the kitchen. "It smells great in here!"

"Thank you. I hope they taste as good as they smell."

Sonic paused in the doorway, fully not having expected to find Shadow wearing Sonic's rarely used red apron with a spatula in his hand and pancake batter smeared across his cheek. He smiled warmly at Sonic, and something about the simple, domestic sight made Sonic's cheeks heat and his heart give a wayward thump in his chest. He shook his head quickly and cleared his throat when he realized he was staring. "I'm sure they do," he quickly reassured, moving to sit at the kitchen table, watching as Shadow flipped a couple of finished pancakes onto a plate.

"I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty to make breakfast this morning," the hybrid commented, carefully pouring batter into the pan.

"Not at all," Sonic hummed, propping his chin in the palm of his hand, "Though, I am curious…how did you know where everything was? Or how to make pancakes, for that matter?"

"Ah," Shadow chuckled, turning to face Sonic with a lopsided smile, "I memorized the kitchen last night when we were making dinner. And I noticed a small shelf of cook books last night, as well. When I got up this morning I flipped through them until I found the relatively simple recipe for pancakes, which I knew you had all of the ingredients for. I thought it may be an appropriate gesture, as thanks, for allowing me to stay on your couch."

"That's real nice of you, Shads," Sonic said, "But, y'know, you don't have to try and repay us. I'm just happy to see you alive, honestly."

Shadow made a pleased little humming sound, nodding slightly as he turned back to the stove. "Even still. I wish to be of some use, even if it's as simple as making breakfast, while you're helping me. It feels…right. To help."

Sonic opened his mouth to reply, only to be interrupted as Tails came careening into the kitchen. "I told you not to try and make pancakes again, Sonic!" he all but shrieked, before he realized that the wrong colored hedgehog was stood at the stove. "…Oh." He glanced between the two, huffing quietly at Sonic's grin of amusement, before offering an apologetic smile to Shadows alarmed expression. "Sorry. The last time Sonic tried to make pancakes he somehow started a grease fire in the pan, and then tried to put it out with water."

"…How? There isn't even any grease used in this recipe?" Shadow asked, arching a brow at the blue hedgehog.

"Talent," was all Sonic had to say for himself with a shrug.

Breakfast went smoothly after that, aside from Tails insisting that Shadow try to add mint chips to his pancakes and the candy melting to the bottom of the pan, causing a rather hard mess to clean. Luckily, Shadow had made more than enough for the three of them before the burnt sugar fiasco, so they simply left the pan in the sink to soak. It was while Shadow was trying to scrub said pan clean after the trio had finished eating, Tails had gone off to the garage, and Sonic was putting the cleaned dishes away that an unexpected knock came from the door.

"I'll be right back, Shads," Sonic hummed, tossing the dish towel over his shoulder, "Why don't you just let that thing sit to soak some more?"

"It is a challenge I will not back down from," Shadow grunted, gritting his teeth as he scrapped the scouring pad against the metal.

"Whatever floats your boat, then," Sonic snorted, before trotting off to the front door as another knock sounded. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" When he opened the door he wasn't quite sure who he had been expecting, but it certainty wasn't Amy in a bright pink raincoat with a picnic basket over her arm.

"Good morning!" she chirped, pushing in past Sonic without waiting to be invited inside, "I thought I would come by with some muffins for breakfast! You still seemed pretty down yesterday when you left, so I figured I'd pop by to see if I couldn't brighten your spirits a bit more." She carefully set her basket down before taking off her raincoat and boots. "Where's Tails? I brought him some mint chocolate muffins!"

"Hiya, Amy," Sonic hummed, unable to help himself as he rolled his eyes, though it was fond. He shut the door and turned to her just as she picked her basket back up. "The kid's already in the garage tinkering away on whatever gizmo or gadget currently has his interest. Though, I think we'll save the muffins for later. We had a pretty big breakfast this morning."

"Oh? What did you have?" Amy asked, tilting her head curiously.

"Pancakes."

"And how burnt is the stovetop this time?"

"I'll have you know that I did not do the cooking, so the stove is perfectly intact. Though, I'm pretty sure we're going to need to replace the frying pan."

"I have good news for you," Shadows voice carried from the kitchen, before he appeared in the hallway with a triumphant little smirk, "You won't need to replace the pan."

Amy gaped at the appearance of the hybrid, her basket of muffins hitting the floor with a quiet crunch of wicker. "Shadow?!"

"Good morning," Shadow offered with a slight nod of his head.

"You…We thought you died!" she cried, hands clutched to her chest.

"I can understand where that miscommunication happened, but I assure you that I am very much alive."

"Wh-how?!"

Sonic stepped around Amy, snagging her fallen basket from the floor as he went, and stopping next to Shadow with a grin. "He showed up in the front yard when I was on my way home from your place yesterday."

"That doesn't explain how!" Amy retorted, taking a step forward, "You fell from orbit! There's no way you could have survived that."

"Well, he did," Sonic snorted, a light frown on his face, "He's standing right in front of you, isn't he?"

"No need to get defensive for me, Sonic," Shadow sighed, reaching up to snag the dish towel from the blue hedgehog's shoulder. "Truth be told," he offered to Amy, "I don't remember how I survived." He then turned and walked back into the kitchen, setting to work finishing off with the last of the dishes.

Amy quickly stepped to Sonic's side, grabbing his wrist to stop him just before he followed after Shadow into the kitchen. "Are you sure that's Shadow?" she hissed quietly, casting a quick glance into the kitchen as the hybrid put silverware away. "He's not some high tech robot sent by Eggman, is he?"

"Tails ran tests on him yesterday," Sonic grumbled, pulling his wrist free of Amy's grasp, "He's Shadow."

"He doesn't act like Shadow."

Sonic rolled his eyes, letting out a little puff of air. "He hit his head. He doesn't remember, like, anything. Pretty sure he wasn't even aware of his own name until Tails and I said it to him."

"Well…how did he know to come here? That's suspicious, isn't it?"

"Chaos, Amy," Sonic groaned, shifting his weight to pop his hip as he swung the basket of muffins idly, "Tails figures it has something to do with the chaos emeralds, and how Shadow and I went super right before he fell. He's thinking Shadow felt a pull to come here because we were connected by that experience or something. As soon as the storm lets up we're going to head up to Angel Island to talk to Knuckles and see if he might know more."

"Okay," Amy sighed, fidgeting slightly, "As long as you've done your due diligence."

"Of course. Besides, if he was gonna try and kill us, he had more than ample opportunity to do it last night," Sonic joked with an easy grin, snickering at the way Amy's face went red, before ducking into the kitchen.

"That seemed a bit uncalled for," Shadow murmured to Sonic as the hedgehog placed the basket on the counter next to where the hybrid was putting the last of the plates away into a cupboard.

"What was uncalled for?"

"She's just worried about you," Shadow sighed in place of an answer, gently closing the cupboard, "You shouldn't be so dismissive."

"Eh, she's just a worry wart, and it's fun to rile her up sometimes," Sonic shrugged, though his ears did tip back slightly, betraying the fact that he did feel some remorse for his relatively brisk exchange with Amy. "How did you know what we were talking about, anyway? We were whispering pretty quietly, I thought."

"Mm, apparently I have quite good hearing," Shadow offered, leaning back against the counter next to Sonic, "But, to get back to the point, you're acting as though I'll take some great offense to what she said or her doubts, but there's merit in it. I showed up on your front lawn in the middle of a storm, claiming to have no memory. You have to admit that is somewhat suspicious, even if we did save the world together. I can only assume, as a hero, you have plenty of enemies."

"Yeah, I guess," Sonic muttered, ears fully pinned back in contrition now that he was being scolded, "But it's not like you are here to hurt us or anything. Like I told Amy, you've already had plenty of opportunity, and Tails did run tests on you."

"Yes, but had events not played out the way they did, you put yourself and Tails in danger readily, and without a thought. Perhaps you should heed her words more readily," Shadow countered, frowning slightly as he glanced around the kitchen. "Speaking of, where did she go?"

Sonic blinked, surprised at not having realized sooner that Amy wasn't behind him anymore. Which was probably for the best, given what he and Shadow had just been discussing. "I don't know?" he grumbled, before cupping his hands around his mouth and shouting, "AMY!"

"Wow, there's no need to yell," Amy said, cupping her hands over her ears as she appeared in the kitchen doorway with Tails in tow, "I just went to go say hello to Tails and let him know that I brought muffins."

"And to interrogate me to find out what I thought about Shadow being here," Tails hummed, slipping into the kitchen to dig into the wicker basket and pull out his mint muffin.

"What?! Tails! I had that discussion with you in private," Amy grumbled, folding her arms over her chest.

"You didn't say it was a secret?" Tails countered, turning back to the pink hedgehog once he had his alarmingly green muffin in hand. "Besides, I think Shadow has every right to know that you find him suspicious."

"Wha-Well, I-" Amy scoffed, cheeks flushed in embarrassment as Sonic snickered and Tails offered her nothing but a small shrug. Shadow simply looked mildly uncomfortable at the exchange.

"Anyway, thanks for the muffin, Amy," Tails hummed, sidling back out of the kitchen without a backward glance. Which left the three hedgehogs watching each other awkwardly.

"Amy-" Shadow began only to be cut of swiftly by the pink hedgehog.

"No! No, look…you suddenly appearing when we all thought you died just caught me off guard, and I'm a bit on the over protective side for these two. I know that. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that, so I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so suspicious when I should really just be happy that you survived after helping to save us all," Amy said, looking repentant. "I hope you won't hold it against me, and we can start fresh?"

Shadow let out a short breath, an easy smile on his face as he stepped towards Amy. "I would like that, very much. Though you really didn't need to go to such lengths to apologize. I can appreciate you wanting to protect your friends."

Luckily, in Sonic's opinion, Amy's visit didn't last much longer. With amends made to Shadow, she stayed long enough to riffle through all of Sonic's cupboards, reminding him that he should really have more fruits and vegetables in his pantry, and to offer a tarot reading to Shadow, who though intrigued ultimately turned down the offer. Soon after, she noted that she had promised Vanilla and Cream a visit, so she bid them all farewell with another heartfelt apology to Shadow, before leaving with a cheery wave.

"She seems nice," Shadow hummed as Sonic finally shut the door once Amy was down the front path.

"Yeah, she's one of my best friends. But, she can also be a total pain," Sonic said with a sigh, offering the hybrid a crooked grin. "Sorry about all that. The last couple of days must be getting to be a bit much for you."

"Mmm, that's one way to put it," Shadow sighed, raking his fingers through his quills in a familiar gesture that made Sonic smile. Little things like that gave him no doubts that the Shadow standing in front of him was the same hedgehog that helped him push space colony ARK back into orbit. Even as well tempered and warm as Shadow was now, he was still pretty obviously not a real people person.

The next few days fell into something of a domestic routine, as the rain continued to fall outside. Shadow took it upon himself to make himself home in the kitchen, ensuring his hosts enjoyed three square meals a day. The cook book he had found had gained a permanent spot on the kitchen counter, propped up with a tiny cactus plant that Amy had gifted Sonic ages ago and somehow managed to thrive in their rather haphazard household. Sonic had also decided that his apron was officially Shadow's, since the hybrid had worn it many more times than Sonic could recall ever donning it.

Usually when the rain lasted this long, Sonic felt a nagging, itching urge to duck out of the house and run through the torrent. However, every time he glanced into the kitchen to find Shadow with his apron tied around his waist and a kitchen utensil in hand, he found the urge distinctly absent. For the first time, perhaps in his entire life, Sonic didn't feel the need to run.

Until, of course, life forced him to leave the house.

"I gotta go run some errands - we're starting to run low on a few things since I haven't really gone to the grocery store in a while," Sonic grumbled, hands on his hips as he stared into the pantry.

"I can accompany you, if you'd like?" Shadow offered, tilting his head back to watch Sonic from his place on the couch, book held aloft in his hand.

"Nah," Sonic waved a hand though the air, already in the hallway, slipping on his shoes and taking his rain coat from its hook, "I'll be back in a flash! You just relax. Finish the book you've been reading."

"If you're sure," Shadow agreed with a small nod, wincing slightly as Sonic opened the door to the downpour still going on outside. "Be careful, at least."

"I'm always careful, Shads," Sonic said with a grin, earning a snort from the hybrid.

"Somehow, I doubt that."

Sonic simply laughed at the little quip, his heart light at the easy banter he had with Shadow. It made him wonder if, given time, he would have managed to garner the same sort of rapport with the dark hedgehog if he hadn't lost his memory. "Make sure Tails doesn't burn the house down while I'm gone," he chirped, dashing out into the rain.

With that Shadow got up and shuffled to the door to shut it, before turning to the living room to do as Sonic suggested and continue with his book. He had chosen it the second day he'd been in the house and was finding it rather dry and difficult to get through. He was debating on putting it back and choosing a different book entirely, as a thick tome of Arthurian legends had caught his eye the day before, but he'd wanted to at least try to get through the first novel he'd chosen before delving into that.

Sonic was gone for barely five minutes when the thunder began.

"Sonic?!" Tails panicked voice suddenly sounded much closer than Shadow was anticipating. He glanced up from his lackluster novel just in time to watch an orange blur zip past the living room entrance towards the kitchen, before turning and going upstairs. Another rumble of thunder sounded in the distance, and the orange blur bolted into the living room, nearly crashing into Shadow, who had gotten up and moved to the hallway to see why Tails was looking for Sonic.

"Is everything all right?" the hybrid asked, catching Tails by the shoulders as the fox kit looked around, obviously anxious and jittery.

"Where's Sonic?" Tails asked instead of answering Shadow, flinching as lighting lit up the living room window.

"He just went to go run some errands. He said he would be back shortly. Tails, you're shaking. Please, what's the matter?" Shadow gently steered the fox kit towards the couch, taking note of the way Tails ears twitched and swiveled at the sounds of the storm outside.

"I…It's embarrassing," Tails murmured, flinching hard at another rumble of thunder.

"Ah," Shadow hummed, nodding slightly as he easily put two and two together, "Would you like a distraction from the storm?"

"I had a distraction," Tails muttered, letting Shadow sit him on the couch, "I'm working on a new upgrade for our communicators. I just," he cringed at another flash of lighting, "I don't like…thunder and lightning."

"They are both rather startling. I can see why they would bother you," Shadow said with a small nod, moving to the book shelf, pulling out the book of legends he had been eyeing before Tails ran through the house like a small orange whirlwind. If this wasn't a sign to give up on his previous novel, then he wasn't sure what was.

"But I'm almost nine. I'm too old for thunder and lightning to scare me," Tails grumped, folding his arms over his chest as he slumped into the couch, tails curled into his lap. "I've read books about what causes them and I understand what they are. They shouldn't bother me like this."

"I don't think you're being very fair to yourself about this," Shadow stated calmly, settling himself on the couch next to Tails, book in hand, "You're still young, and even if you weren't, you're allowed to be scared of things. Thunder is loud and lightning is dangerous. It makes sense to be frightened of them."

"Yeah, I guess," Tails sighed, ears flat as he dug his fingers into the fur of his namesake. "I just don't like feeling scared like this. I've fought robots and faced the end of the world! The sound of rapidly heating and cooling air shouldn't scare me like this."

"Again," Shadow sighed, reaching out to gently pat at Tail's shoulder, "You are allowed to be frightened. Sometimes things just scare us, without explanation. It's perfectly normal. I'm afraid of heights."

"You are? But you have air shoes that let you hover?" Tails said with a slight frown, "And you can use chaos control."

Shadow tilted his head with a mildly confused smile on his face. "Uh…I'm going to assume those are things that would keep me from falling?"

"Oh! Right. Yeah. Your shoes, you can channel chaos energy through them to skate over the ground and if you push enough energy into them you can sort of hover or fly. Chaos control is an ability you have that lets you teleport."

Shadow chuckled, arching an eyebrow at Tails in amusement. "I enjoy how you said all of this to me as though I have any idea as to what you're talking about. But, I do believe that's a lesson you can teach me another day," the hybrid held his chosen book of legends up, wiggling it slightly, "Would you like to join me for a story?"

Tails eyed the book, his cheeks flushed from being called out on his mini ramble about Shadows abilities. "Yeah, okay," he murmured with a slight nod, trying his best to ignore the rumble of thunder in the distance.

When Sonic arrived home, mildly short of breath from running through the rain to get home as fast as he could, knowing Tails would not be doing well with the sudden and loud turn the storm had taken, he was pleasantly surprised to be greeted with the sight of Shadow curled into the corner of the couch, book in hand and Tails tucked under his arm, fast asleep. Shadow glanced up as Sonic stepped through the door, quickly gesturing for the other hedgehog to be quiet. The hero gave a short nod, setting his bags down, toeing off his shoes and hanging up his jacket in quick succession as quietly as he could.

"How did you manage to get him to sleep?" Sonic whispered once he was free and clear of his rain gear, shuffling into the living room, "Usually the only way to calm him down during a thunder storm is huddling in a pillow fort until it passes."

Shadow chuckled, quietly, shrugging only one shoulder so he wouldn't disturb the fox kit. "We talked a little, but mostly I read him stories from a book of legends."

"Oh, I could see that working. You've got a nice timber for story telling," Sonic hummed absently, sitting on the opposite end of the couch, reaching out to gently pet Tails' fur, smiling as his brother snuffled in his sleep.

"Do you think so?"

Sonic looked up curiously at Shadow's quiet question, his heart skipping a beat at finding the hybrid with a light flush over his cheeks and a tiny smile on his lips. He swallowed thickly, forcing a grin onto his own face. "Of course. You've got a really nice voice, Shads."

A pleased hum was Sonic's only reply for a moment as Shadow's eyes drifted down to watch the snoozing kit. After a beat he let out a little breath, glancing back up at the blue hedgehog. "This felt…familiar. Like I've done something like this before."

Sonic's ears perked forward in curiosity, his head tilting slightly. "Oh? Do you think it's something that you maybe used to do with Maria? Like, read stories together?"

"Perhaps," Shadow hummed, gaze a bit distant as he spoke, as if he were reliving a memory in his mind, "More like…comforting each other while afraid? It's vague." He grunted quietly, dipping his head, light frown on his face. "I'm sorry. I promise, I am trying to remember. Nothing seems to be very forthcoming, though."

"Hey, hey," Sonic cooed, reaching past Tails to rest a hand on Shadow's knee, "There's no rush. Tails and I are more than happy to have you for as long as you need. As long as you don't mind living on our couch. Besides, it's only been, like, a week. Not exactly a hardship, y'know?"

"It is surprisingly comfortable for being so well worn," the hybrid said with a small nod, only to shake his head a moment later. He lifted a hand to place it over Sonic's, looking contrite as he faced the hero of Mobius. "I just feel like I'm intruding, and not offering enough for taking up space in your home. If I could recover my memory faster, I would be able to get out of your quills."

"Well, that's the biggest load of bologna I've ever heard," Sonic hissed with a snort, "I invited you in, and I never expected anything from you. The fact that you've taken over the kitchen and make sure Tails and I get the most amazing meals that stovetop has ever seen is above and beyond anything I could've asked for. Don't push yourself, Shads. Seriously. You're totally fine."

Both hedgehogs glanced down as Tails grumbled something in his sleep, pressing his face into Shadow's fur with a soft whine. His tails twitched in his sleep, earning a soft laugh from Sonic. He rose and gently picked the kit up from the couch, rubbing his back as he groaned in his sleep. "I'm going to take him up to his room. Would you mind putting the groceries away while I do?"

"Of course," Shadow nodded, setting aside the book of legends to rise from the couch as well. He quickly stopped Sonic before he could get too far with a hand on his arm, flushing slightly at the look of concern Sonic gave him. "I just wanted to say…thank you. For your kindness, and your understanding. I know you knew me, before, and we were allies, but you didn't need to open your home to me. I appreciate it. Truly."

Sonic had to bite his tongue to resist his usual habit of retorting to sincerity with a quippy remark. He knew that doing so would only serve to push Shadow away, and that was truly the last thing he wanted to do. Instead he offered the hybrid a smile, hoisting Tails up on his hip a little as the kit began to slowly slip in his grip. "Anytime, Shadow. I mean it," he said simply, finally turning to take Tails upstairs.

While upstairs, Sonic let his mind wander as he tucked Tails into bed. The heartfelt comments from Shadow wanting to do more for Sonic and Tails made the blue hedgehog realize he could do more for Shadow. His mind wandered to the inhibitor ring missing from Shadows wrist, and the fact that he knew exactly where it was, and where it had been for quite some time.

He wandered into his bedroom once he'd finished tucking Tails into bed, his eyes instantly landing on his bedside table. He bit his lip as he walked over to it, slowly pulling the drawer out to reveal the shining gold band resting inside. Sonic had pulled it free of Shadow's wrist when he'd made a grab for the falling hybrid, nearly dropping it when he'd scrambled to try again for Shadow's hand. When Shadow had fallen too far out of reach and Sonic knew he had to get back onto the ARK or risk falling as well, he'd tucked it into his quills. He'd offered it to Rouge when he'd made it back, but she'd pushed it back into his hands with a shake of her head. Looking back on it, he was grateful to her for letting him keep it. Gently, he pulled it from its resting place and tucked it into his quills before heading back downstairs.

Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs he found the groceries gone from the hallway, presumably stored safely away in their proper places, and Shadow curled up in the corner of the couch again with the book of legends back in his hand.

"It's a pretty good book, huh?" Sonic commented idly as he rounded the couch, sitting himself on the opposite end to Shadow, "It's one of my favorites."

The hybrid looked up, a warm smile on his face. "It's quite good. I'm enjoying the stories about Sir Lancelot."

"Glad to hear it," Sonic hummed, his own smile not quite reaching his eyes as he dug into his quills for the ring. "Hey, uhm…do you mind if I talk to you?"

"Of course," Shadow said, snapping the book shut and giving Sonic his undivided attention without hesitation, "What is it?"

"First, thanks for putting away the groceries. And, uhm, second," he offered the inhibitor ring to Shadow, who simply looked confused as he reached out for it.

"Is this mine?"

"Yeah. It's a matching set of four. Uhm, I accidentally took it when I tried to grab you before you fell. I grabbed it instead of your wrist," Sonic muttered, watching as Shadow flipped it over in his hands, before carefully securing it around his wrist. "Do you remember what they are?"

"I feel like they're important? But not much more than that," Shadow offered, twisting his wrist this way and that, his gaze lifting to Sonic's after a beat. "What are they?"

"Inhibitor rings," Sonic stated, turning sideways and bringing his knee up onto the couch so he could fully face Shadow, "According to the files, from what I can remember, the guy who created you, Gerald, he made you with too much chaos energy - that's this energy that flows through pretty much everything on Mobius in small doses. If something has too much chaos energy, it can become unstable. In your case, you have so much that it could destroy you if you aren't careful. The inhibitor rings help to regulate it and keep you stable."

"I see," Shadow murmured, eyes drawn back down to the glinting gold around his wrists. He flipped his hand back and forth, a slight frown on his muzzle. "If you thought I was dead, and they're just some sort of dampener, why did you keep it?"

"Because it was all I had left of you," Sonic admitted quietly, tipping his head to lean it against the back of the couch, watching Shadow fiddle with the newly reacquired ring. "We didn't know each other for very long, but you were the very first person who could keep up with me step for step and blow for blow. I don't think you thought much of it at the time, but it was really pretty eye opening to me. Because of that, you became important to me, and when I couldn't save you, well…Having something, even just one of your inhibitor rings, really helped me get through some stuff."

"Sonic," Shadow's voice was hushed as he spoke, while reaching a hand out towards the other.

"Heh, yeah," Sonic suddenly cleared his throat, turning his head away and glancing out the window. "Oh, hey," he said quickly, rising from the couch and stretching his arms over his head, trying to ignore the way Shadow was looking at him, "it looks like the rain finally stopped. We should be able to go up to Angel Island tomorrow." He chanced the briefest of glances at Shadow, his heart lurching in his chest at the look on the other's face. Quickly he turned on his heel, hoping Shadow didn't notice the flush on his cheeks. "I bought ingredients for chili dogs, so why don't I go start working on dinner while you read some more? I've got a wicked awesome recipe that I think you'll love," Sonic said quickly, maneuvering around the couch and exiting the room as quickly as possible. Feelings weren't really his forte, let alone talking about them. He didn't see the way the hybrid fiddled with his returned ring, clutching it to his chest as Sonic disappeared into the kitchen.

Shadow let the conversation rest, deciding that, based on Sonic's reaction it would probably be best to let the blue hedgehog come to him, rather than push anything. It was pretty obvious that his death had impacted Sonic quite a bit, even if it turned out to be temporary. His current lack of memories probably wasn't very helpful, either. He wondered idly just how important he really was to the other before everything that had happened. He sighed quietly, turning his attention back to his book as Sonic had suggested until he was eventually called into the kitchen for dinner.

The next day found the trio heading into the small hangar Sonic and Tails had in their backyard, which housed the Tornado. Tails immediately ran to begin doing pre flight checks of the plane to ensure everything would be in full working order for their flight, while Sonic stood back with a pleased little smile on his face as he watched the fox kit work. Meanwhile, Shadow stared up at the plane as though it was the harbinger of his doom.

It took a few solid minutes before Sonic clued in to Shadow's trepidation, and even at that it was only because the hybrid had begun to shake slightly. He blinked in surprise, turning to Shadow quickly, hands in the air but not quite sure what to do with them. "Shadow? Hey, what's up? You okay?"

Shadow shook his head slightly, wringing his hands in front of himself hard enough for the leather of his gloves to squeak slightly. "I didn't realize we would need to fly to Angel Island."

"Well…yeah? What did you think I meant when I said we'd need to go 'up'? And the fact that we had to wait for the rain to stop?"

"That's a perfectly common phrase people use when traveling anywhere!" Shadow snapped, his ears pinning back as he continued to stare up at the plane, "People say they are travelling 'up' in a general sense, unless they're definitively going south. I just assumed that was the case! And I thought, perhaps, you just didn't like traveling in the rain. That's perfectly feasible!"

"Woah there, hey," Sonic tried to sooth, placing his hand gently on Shadow's shoulder frowning slightly as the hybrid flinched and hunched in on himself. "It's perfectly safe. Tails and I fly the Tornado all the time. You can even sit in the second seat instead of riding on the wing, okay?"

"On the wing?!" Shadow turned wide eyes on Sonic, his pupils barely pinpricks as his breath started to come in little gasps.

"Woah!" Sonic raised his hands in a placating gesture, "I said you could sit in the plane! Plus, you have your air shoes if anything goes wonky. You're totally safe, Shadow." He frowned when all he got in response to his reassurance was Shadow's gaze snapping back to the plane, the hybrid obviously close to a full blown panic attack.

"Oh yeah," Tails drawled, popping up from under the plane, a smear of oil adorning his cheek, "I forgot he said he was afraid of heights."

"What?!" Sonic turned an accusatory glare at Tails, "When was this?!"

"Uh…Yesterday? While you were out running errands. He told me everyone was allowed to be afraid of things when I said I was too old to be afraid of thunder, and that he was afraid of heights," Tails offered, looking a bit sheepish. "I kind of had other things on my mind at the time, so I sort of forgot."

"Okay, setting aside the fact that Shadow apparently remembered something about himself, we need to calm him down," Sonic said, waving a hand through the air and turning his attention back to the panicking hedgehog next to him. "Let's get him outside. Maybe not being directly in front of the plane will help."

"Right," Tails said with a quick nod, moving forward and waving his arms in the air to get Shadow's attention. It seemed to work well enough, as Shadow's gaze settled on him after a moment. Sonic took the opportunity to duck behind the hybrid and grab his shoulders, quickly turning him and steering him out of the hangar before he could properly register what was going on.

Once outside Shadow's shoulder's immediately dropped, his posture becoming more embarrassed than stressed out as his tail dipped and he ducked his head slightly. "I-I'm sorry," he murmured, half covering his face with a hand, his muzzle flushing, "I don't know what came over me. That was entirely uncalled for."

"It's totally okay, Shads. No worries," Sonic reassured, moving to stand in front of Shadow, pulling his hands away from his face. "Like you said to Tails, everyone is allowed to be afraid. Admittedly, it would've been nice if I'd known you were afraid of heights so I could've warned you properly, but we'll blame that on Tails."

"Hey!"

"You had an entire day to remember and tell me. Don't act like this isn't a little bit on you."

"That's fair, I guess…"

Sonic rolled his eyes with a chuckle, nodding his head towards the hangar. "Go finish up getting the Tornado ready. I'll stay out here with Shadow."

"Okay," Tails sighed, pausing as he passed by the embarrassed hedgehog, "Sorry for not warning you yesterday."

"It's alright. You were distracted by the storm. It's understandable," Shadow murmured, offering Tails a wobbly little smile.

With that, Tails dashed back into the hangar, leaving Sonic holding Shadow's hands and standing somewhat awkwardly in the yard. He chewed on his lip for a moment, trying to figure out what he could do to make Shadow feel better when the hybrid turned his hands in Sonics to return his grip. The blue hedgehog blinked in surprise, watching Shadow as the hybrid squirmed slightly under his scrutiny.

"I truly am sorry for how I reacted," Shadow lamented, gaze firmly on the ground, "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"Seriously, it's totally fine," Sonic said with a light little laugh, "That was pretty low on the scale of negative reactions I've had to deal with."

"Still," Shadow murmured, giving Sonic's hands a little squeeze, "Perhaps you could explain to me how my shoes can apparently help me? That may help ease my mind, if I know how they're supposed to work."

"Oh, jeez," Sonic snorted quietly, pulling one of his hands free to rub at his quills absently, "That's gonna be a bit of a tough one, Shads. I only kinda know how they work, from those files I told you about? Uh…The best explanation I can really give you is that you push chaos energy into them, and they convert it into a sort of burst of air? When you use them it kinda of looks like you're skating on air."

"Tails mentioned something about that," Shadow murmured, his other hand sliding free of Sonic's as he looked down at his feet. "But, how do I do that?"

Sonic groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. "Asking all the hard questions today, aren't ya?" He sighed, tilting his head to stare into the sky, humming and hawing for a minute, finally looking back to Shadow after a beat, his muzzle scrunched in what almost appeared to be discomfort. "First you gotta kinda…feel the energy inside you?" he tried to explain, placing a hand over his chest, "Once you've got it, you just…push it to where you want it to go with, like, your mind? Mine's usually centered around my legs so I can run fast." He grunted, dropping his arms to his sides, offering Shadow an apologetic smile. "I'm not real good at explaining, sorry. I've never had to think really about it before. It just sort of happens."

Shadow screwed up his nose at the explanation, letting out a disgruntled breath. "That's not very helpful," he grumbled, earning a short laugh from Sonic.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, again."

"It's fine, I just…that's very vague," the hybrid sighed, closing his eyes and rolling his shoulders back, "But I'll try." He frowned in concentration as he lifted a hand to rest over his chest, where Sonic had placed his own hand when trying his best to explain.

"That's it," he heard Sonic's voice approach, the blue hedgehogs warmth encroaching into his space, a shiver zipping up his spine at the sudden proximity, "It's kinda like feeling when someone is close by, but you can't see them. But with energy, inside you. Ehhhh, that's a terrible analogy."

Shadow couldn't help but chuckle at Sonic half babbling to himself, tilting his head in the direction he believed the hedgehog to be, while trying to ignore the way his heart seemed to thrum at the other's proximity. "If you're trying to be helpful, it's not really working."

"Fine, fine, I'll shut up. But don't say I didn't try."

"Noted," the hybrid snorted, shifting his focus inwards to try and feel what Sonic was talking about. He thought that, perhaps, he could sense what Sonic meant, an odd sort of fuzzy warm feeling in the center of his chest. When he tried to reach for it, it almost felt like it reacted to him, reaching back and pulling him in. Suddenly, what had started off feeling so small and warm was vast and overwhelming, like it was trying to consume him. He struggled against it, his face twisting in discomfort while he mentally grappled with the energy that threatened to devour him. It took mere moments in the physical world, but in Shadow's mind it felt like an eternity before he managed to wrangle the energy and bend it to his will. He pushed it, as Sonic had instructed, until it felt like something inside him snapped into place, his eyes opening with a sharp gasp.

"Heyyy! Shadow! Look at you!" Sonic's voice almost sounded garbled to his ears as he readjusted his focus to the physical world, squinting slightly in the bright sunlight.

"Wh-what?" Shadow grunted intelligently, blinking owlishly at Sonic as the other grinned widely at him.

"Your skates! You did it," Sonic said, pointing down to Shadows shoes, which were lifting the hybrid a few inches from the ground.

"Oh…oh!" Shadow allowed a grin to slowly creep over his muzzle, his tail wagging happily as he shifted back and forth on his shoes, watching as little sparks of red energy jumped from them, "I did it!" He experimented briefly with gliding across the grass, chewing on his lip as he figured out how to shift his feet to go in different directions, before seeing just how much energy it took to levitate himself higher into the air. He let out a joyous little laugh as he rose a foot or so up, doing a short pirouette in the air and turning a brilliant grin towards Sonic. "This is amazing!"

Although Sonic was elated for Shadow, he was truly more mesmerized by how light and carefree Shadow looked in those moments. Free of the weight of his promise to Maria and all of what had happened on the ARK, Sonic could see the kind of hedgehog Shadow could have been if GUN hadn't interfered. Under his usual gruff, cold exterior, Sonic now knew that Shadow had a soft, warm heart full of wonder. It made his own heart bleed, knowing that one day when Shadow inevitably got his memories back that all of this would drown in all of the darkness that had so unfairly been dumped onto him. He felt his smile slowly slip from his lips as he watched Shadow practically dance through the air, now perfectly understanding as to why Maria sacrificed herself for this hedgehog. He deserved to be saved.

"Sonic?" Shadow's voice brought Sonic out of his reverie, quickly shaking his head and plastering his trademark grin on his face.

"Sorry! Lost in my own head there for a sec," he laughed, propping his hands on his hips and watching as Shadow touched back down onto the ground, "So…you feeling better about flying now that you can work your shoes?"

"I…yes, I think so," the hybrid hummed after pausing to think for a moment, offering a short nod and a hesitant smile. "Though, I do still think I would prefer to sit in the second seat. But, please tell me it won't be a long flight? It doesn't exactly give me the warmest feeling, knowing you'll be riding on the wing."

"Hey, don't sweat it! It's how I always ride on the Tornado. It's more fun, in my opinion," Sonic said with an easy laugh, sliding an arm around Shadows shoulders and directing him back towards the hangar, "It's not too bad. A couple of hours, I think, at most. It's a floating island, so it moves around a bit. Sometimes the trip is longer the others, but Tails has a tracker thingy that he made with Knuckles, so he can always find it pretty easily."

With that, the trio embarked upon the Tornado towards Angel Island. For the most part Shadow clung to the seat belts strapped over his shoulders and kept his eyes shut, but sometimes Sonic would glance back and find him staring off in awe at mountains or a lake, eyes practically sparkling as he took in the sights. It made Sonic's heart do funny little summersaults in his chest, and he was really beginning to worry about what that meant.

Landing on Angel Island was always a little bit precarious, as even though Knuckles knew full well what the Tornado looked like by now, Sonic and Tails could never really be sure whether the echidna would lob a boulder at them or not. His mood and level of friendliness were always a bit tenuous at best, especially when he was actively guarding the master emerald. Today, however, seemed to be a good day, as Tails brought the plane down onto the surface of the island without any issue. Once parked, Sonic hoped down from the wing, grinning as he was greeted by a small gaggle of chaos clamoring for his attention.

"Hey, hey! There's plenty of me to go around," Sonic laughed, doing a quick little round of head pats while Shadow and Tails disembarked from the plane.

"And what are these creatures?" Shadow asked as he approached Sonic and the chaos, a light frown on his face as all but one of them scampered back to the brush at the sound of his voice.

"Aww, don't take them running off too personally. They're only used to a small handful of folks who visit the island, so they're a bit shy," Sonic reassured at seeing the look on Shadows face, offering him the one chao he had been holding, and therefor hadn't run away, "They're chaos! Only a few still live on the island, with our friend Knuckles. He takes care of the master emerald, and knows the most about chaos energy, since his clan has looked after this place for, like, forever. If we're lucky, he might know why you felt drawn to me and maybe the chaos energy around here will help you heal, and maybe with getting your memories back."

Shadow gave a small nod of understanding, eyeing the chao in Sonic's hands. It was cute, by all rights, its tiny pink wings flapping idly as it eyed the hybrid in curiosity. Tentatively, Shadow offered his own hand to the little creature, somewhat startled as it hopped onto his palm and let out a contented sounding little chirrup.

"Aww, it likes you," Tails giggled from Shadows right, having just finished up with securing the Tornado.

"It's kinda rare for them to warm up to someone new so fast," Sonic commented idly, though he couldn't help the smile on his face as he watched Shadow carefully bring the little chao to his chest and cradle it as if it were fragile. In return, the chao snuggled into the hybrids chest fur, causing Shadow to let out the most adorable sound of surprise Sonic was certain he'd ever heard. As a matter of fact, the blue hedgehog hadn't even realized he was openly staring and zoning out until Shadow cleared his throat and Tails let out a knowing little snort next to him.

"Shouldn't we go find your friend?" Shadow asked, arching an eyebrow at Sonic.

"Oh! Yeah, right," Sonic cleared his throat and promptly turned on his heel to march into the forest, hoping that Shadow didn't notice the way his muzzle had flushed at being caught. "I'm actually surprised Knux hasn't come busting through the woods to find us already. Usually he's pretty on top of visitors."

The trio trapsed through the woods, the little gaggle of chaos following them like little ducklings, while the one in Shadows hands fell asleep against his chest. When they finally broke through the tree line near the shrine of the master emerald they were surprised to find someone standing with Knuckles on the main platform. Namely, one Rouge the bat, currently arguing with the guardian over something the trio couldn't hear from where they stood.

"Oh man," Sonic said with a grin, turning to carefully take the snoozing chao from Shadow's grip, much to the hybrid's confusion. "Just trust me," he said as his only explanation, before turning towards the platform again. "Hey, Rouge!" he shouted, letting the awake and now disgruntled chao jump from his hands as he shouted, "Come see who I found!"

In unison the two on the platform turned, Knuckles obviously scowling, while Rouge's hands went to her face in surprise, before she, quite literally, came flying off the platform. "Shadow! You're alive!" Shadow grunted as the bat collided with his chest, wrapping his arms around her instinctually and sliding one of his feet back to keep them balanced. He shot Sonic a somewhat alarmed look, before he was pushed back by the shoulders and held at arms length by Rouge, his ears pinning back as she scrutinized him, picking at his quills and brushing dirt from his fur. "I can't believe it! And you didn't come find me first? What made you go to see Blue instead? That's so rude," she ranted at him, finally letting him go and stepping back once she was satisfied.

"Well, we were hoping that, perhaps, Knuckles could answer that last question," Shadow offered with a bit of a shrug, casting another pleading glance at Sonic, who simply grinned at him.

"That repugnant red ruffian? Why would he know why you went off to Sonic instead of finding me?" Rouge asked, tilting her head with her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes at Shadow slightly, "I assume it has something to do with the emeralds?"

"We don't really know yet," Tails piped up, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as Rouge turned her attention to him, "It's my going theory, at any rate. Shadow lost his memory, and since there's a few month gap between him falling to Mobius and reappearing in our yard, there's a lot of questions that we're hoping to start answering."

"Lost his memory…?" Rouge turned back to Shadow who took a tentative step back when her attention came back to him, "So, you don't remember who I am?"

"My apologies," Shadow said, shaking his head slightly, "but, no."

"Oh," Rouge's ears drooped slightly for a moment, before she let out a breath and shrugged, "Well, I suppose it can't be helped." She paused, grinning a little as she quirked a brow at Sonic, "Wait…does that mean he's all soft and squishy now?" she gasped, "Is that why he let me hug him?!"

"Ha, yeah," Sonic snorted, only offering a smirk at Shadow's questioning glance.

"Oh, sugar," Rouge cooed at Shadow, squeezing his cheeks slightly, much to his obvious chagrin, "You're gonna be so pissed off at everyone when you get your memories back."

"And what makes you say that?" the hybrid asked, though his words were slightly garbled by the way his face was being held.

"Oh, just trust me on that one," Rouge giggled, finally letting go of Shadow's face and turning around with a huff when Knuckles cleared his throat loudly from the stairs leading up to the emerald's platform.

"What, pray tell, are you all doing on my island? And how did the black hedgehog survive plummeting back to the surface of the planet?"

"Real tactful, Knux," Sonic snorted, swagger in his step as he approached the echidna, the rest following shortly thereafter, "We came to talk to you about Shadow. He showed up in my yard unannounced. Wanted to see if you had any insight as to why."

Knuckles scrunched his nose up as Sonic approached, his gaze moving to the hybrid in question, eyes narrowing. "And why would I know anything about that? Did I not just question as to how he survived?"

"That's not really the question Sonic meant to ask," Tails interjected, jogging up the stairs to stand between his brother and the hot headed echidna, "Shadow lost his memory, and said he felt drawn to our house. I have a theory that it was because of their chaos energy, and their time spent in their super forms right before Shadow fell. We wanted to see if you could maybe confirm if that was the case, and if there was anything else you may think could be going on? Like, maybe if the master emerald was acting odd, or perhaps there's some underlying threat that made Chaos push Shadow to Sonic so they could work together to defeat it…"

Knuckles snorted, rolling his shoulders, arms folded across his chest. "There has been no noticeable disturbance in the flow of chaos to or around the master emerald. And your theory sounds feasible, and so the most likely explanation."

"Insightful as always," Sonic sighed, shaking his head as Knuckles shot him an incredulous look.

"Did I not just answer the questions the fox posed to me?! What more do you want?"

"Well, to be honest, I think we were hoping for a little more information or speculation," Tails muttered to the side, jumping slightly and ducking behind Shadow at the glare Knuckles shot him. "It's just, y'know, you're the one who knows the most about chaos energy and how it works!"

Knuckles sighed, letting his arms drop to his sides. "Unfortunately, there is nothing more I can offer. As I said, there have been no disruptions to the master emeralds energy. And it is, indeed, most likely that their time spent in super form has caused some form of bond to be created between Sonic and the black hedgehog. Their energies are likely linked because of their shared use of the emeralds, and so may feel compelled to seek each other out. As much as I know about the emeralds, there are still many more mysteries about them that I cannot answer."

"So, we came all this way for nothing?" Shadow asked, tone contrite as his shoulders slumped.

With another heavy sigh, Knuckles gestured for the hybrid to approach. "Not nothing. Perhaps communing with the emerald will aid you in the return of your memories."

"Oh sure, I ask to touch it and it's a big hullabaloo, but you just offer it to him without a second thought," Rouge quietly grumped as she followed Shadow up the rest of the stairs, put upon pout on her face.

"That is because if I let you near it you will try to steal it, despite its size in relation to you," the echidna snarked over his shoulder as he lead the way up to the emerald.

"Rude," Rouge grumbled, Sonic snickering next to her.

"Can't say he doesn't have you pegged, Rouge."

"Shut it, Blue."

"I do not know why I put up with the lot of you sometimes," Knuckles sighed, pausing just before the emerald. He turned to Shadow, gesturing for him to sit, "Sit here and close your eyes. Try to relax and focus your energy on the emerald. If chaos so sees it fit to do so, it will help you with your memories. The servers are the seven Chaos. Chaos is power… Power enriched by the heart. The controller is the one that unifies the Chaos." With that Knuckles turned from the emerald and shooed Rouge, Sonic and Tails away with a frown. "Leave him be. You three are distracting."

"Aww, you find me distracting, Red?" Rouge bat her lashes at the echidna, causing him to roll his eyes with a sigh.

"Banished, all of you."

Sonic snorted at their bickering, sauntering off to lean against a wall far enough away from Shadow that he wouldn't be immediately distracting, while remaining within his line of sight. Tails had disappeared almost immediately, so Sonic could only assume that he'd wandered off to poke around the temple a bit while Knuckles was preoccupied with Rouge, curious kid that he was. He watched as Rouge and Knuckles began to walk off as well, still exchanging barbs all the while, before he gaze was caught by slight movement in Shadow's direction. Turning his head he arched a brow as the hybrid quickly whipped his face back towards the emerald, his shoulders hunching slightly. Glancing back the way his friends had disappeared to ensure the two were gone to avoid getting scolded, he meandered over to Shadow, settling himself down next to the ebony hedgehog.

"What's up, Shads?"

"The sky?" the hybrid offered, eyes closed and chin tilted up towards the emerald.

"Haha, you're so funny," Sonic scoffed quietly, "I saw you looking at me instead of 'communing'. Something bugging you?"

Shadow let out a breath, opening his eyes to stare somewhat forlornly at the emerald. "I noticed that when we arrived here and met your friends your demeanor…changed. You were more dismissive and confrontational. I couldn't help but be curious as to why."

"Did it?" Sonic blinked, turning to look up at the emerald as well, rubbing absently at his quills. "Habit, probably? The way I am at home and with Tails, that's…I'm the hero of Mobius, y'know? My friends expect me to act a certain way, and so do the people of Mobius. When I leave the house, I guess I just sort of slip into that persona without realizing."

"So, you don't feel like you can be yourself around your friends?"

"I didn't say that."

"You just did. Quite literally."

Sonic let out a puff of frustrated air, glaring at the emerald. "The way I am in public and the way I am at home are both me. They're just different sides of who I am. Being more defensive when I'm out is a bit of a necessity. Robotnik could attack anywhere at anytime, so I guess I just sort of adapted to that over the years."

"Robotnik…is that the 'Eggman' you and Amy were talking about last week?"

"Yeah."

"…Is he the one we saved the world from?"

"That's…complicated."

"More complicated than trying to get a rock to speak to me?"

"Believe it or not, Shads? Yeah."

"I see," Shadow sighed, lifting a hand to rub at his forehead. "I feel like all of this would make more sense if I could just remember."

"Hey, like I keep saying, Shads, there's no rush," Sonic hummed, leaning in to brush his shoulder against Shadows. "Sorry if my attitude was off putting to you. It'll probably happen again."

At that Shadow snorted a quiet laugh, nudging Sonic's shoulder back with his own. "Good to know you'll at least be consistent."

"Eh, that's debatable," Sonic said flippantly, an easy grin spreading across his face at the way Shadow laughed at his comment, admiring the way his tan muzzle darkened with an amused flush in his cheeks. He idly wondered how infrequently he'd get to see that sight once Shadow got his memories back.

"Do I have something on my face?"

"Huh? Oh!" Sonic cleared his throat, turning his attention back to the emerald, hoping his own blush wasn't too obvious, "Sorry. Zoned out."

"Mhmm," Shadow hummed, warm little smile on his face at catching the way Sonic's face lit up. "Do you think we should thank Knuckles and go? I don't think his rock is going to speak to me."

"Hey, now," Sonic said, pushing off the ground to shove himself back up onto his feet, "You've been chatting with me and not giving communing with 'the rock' a fair shake. At least try properly for a few minutes before we go annoying the shit out of Knux again. I'll even go back to sitting in the corner." He turned to go back to the spot he'd picked previously, before pausing and glancing back at Shadow, "Try focusing on it like you did with your own energy earlier, only, y'know…in front of you instead of inside. It's the same thing, basically."

"I will do my best."

"You always do, Shads."

With that Sonic wandered back to his spot against the wall, while Shadow turned his attention to the emerald, closing his eyes and truly trying to focus instead of being distracted by the blue hedgehog at his back. Unfortunately, however, other thoughts began to worm their way into the forefront of his mind instead. Namely the way Rouge had told him he'd be angry at everyone once he had his memories back, combined with an idle comment Sonic had made when he'd first arrived about how him being calm in their living room was 'different'. He felt compelled to speculate about the kind of person he was before he'd hit his head. Obviously he had friends, with how eager Sonic was to help him and Rouge's enthusiastic greeting of him, but Amy had been suspicious, and Knuckles indifferent. He was fairly certain that Tails based his reaction off of how Sonic acted around him, since the fox quite obviously idolized his brother. True as it was that it was a rather small sample size, he couldn't help but feel unease.

Minutes passed with Shadow too preoccupied with his troubled thoughts to even try to connect with the emerald. Finally, he had to admit defeat and let out a frustrated breath, opening his eyes to give the softly glowing gem stone a soft glare. "This isn't going anywhere," he grumbled, turning to find Sonic tossing a stone idly up into the air and catching it repeatedly.

"Really? Still no luck?"

"No. I'm afraid my thoughts are otherwise occupied so I'm finding it difficult to focus."

"I'm not still being distracting, am I? I swear, I'm being as quiet as I can!"

Shadow chuckled, shaking his head as he rose to his feet. "No. My mind just keeps wandering and I think I'm overthinking it. Focusing inwards was much easier."

"Fair enough. Can't say we didn't try," Sonic said with a shrug, tossing his stone away and getting to his own feet. "Let's go find Tails and say goodbye to Knuckles and Rouge."

"I'm sorry we came all this way for, ultimately, nothing," Shadow sighed as they began to walk through the temple.

"I wouldn't say nothing," Sonic wrapped a reassuring arm around Shadow's shoulders, giving the hybrid a friendly little shake, "We got out of the house and saw some friends. Even if we didn't get any real answers, that's something. Plus! Now you know how to work your shoes again."

"I appreciate your positivity."

"Regular ol' ray of sunshine, me."

"Somehow, I doubt that."

Sonic couldn't hold back a peel of laughter at Shadow's snark, grinning the rest of the way to where Knuckles and Rouge were audibly arguing again. He couldn't help but be a little bit astonished at how easily Shadow could read him and caught his demeanor change when he'd only, technically, known Sonic for a bit over a week. Some of the friends he'd known for years couldn't even get that good of a read on him. It made his heart do that odd little staccato in his chest again. He shook his head and let his arm drop from the dark hedgehog's shoulders as they entered the room where Knuckles and Rouge were arguing, quickly whistling to catch their attention.

"Hey! We're gonna head out," he said, smirking at the annoyed look the two gave him for interrupting their fight, "I'm worried Shadow is going to go bug eye if he stares at the master emerald for much longer."

"It's barely been ten minutes," Knuckles pointed out, folding his arms over his chest, "That is hardly enough time to connect properly to Chaos."

"Yeah, well, we're the fastest creatures alive, right? So, we should be able to connect to Chaos that much faster, and it's just not happening," Sonic said with an easy shrug.

"You sure you want to stick with Blue, sugar?" Rouge asked, letting out a short laugh as Shadow pointed at himself and mouthed 'me?' at her in surprise. "Yes, you. You're more than welcome to come back with me to Club Rouge. I figure the Hardy Boys over there will be getting on your nerves soon enough."

"Hardy Boys?"

Sonic rolled his eyes, hip chucking Shadow lightly, but enough that the hybrid took a step to the side to keep his balance. "They're characters in a book series. Two brothers who solve mysteries. But we," Sonic jabbed his thumb into his chest with a sneer to Rouge, "are way cooler than the Hardy Boys because we fight robots and save people."

"Mhmm. And solve mysteries," Rouge pointed out, cocking her hip with a smirk. "Anyway…It's an open invitation, hun. You ever get tired of living in a pigsty with those two and you can come crash at mine, okay?"

"Sonic's house is quite clean," Shadow offered, his ears twitching at the way Rouge scoffed quietly in disbelief and Sonic shouted a triumphant 'HA' at her. "But, thank you for the offer. I'll keep it in mind."

"Make sure you do," Rouge nodded, before giving them a little salute, "Anyway, I'm off, too. This one won't stop giving me a hard time, so I might as well book it."

"Good riddance," Knuckles grunted, looking affronted as Rouge stuck her tongue out at him, only to return the gesture with aplomb.

With that Rouge rolled her eyes and flapped her wings, lifting up off the floor. She gave them all a little wave, taking off down the hallway that Sonic and Shadow had walked to get there, brushing her fingers through Shadow's quills with a laugh as she passed him by.

"Well then, if there is nothing else I can help you with," Knuckles stated, gesturing down the hallway, "Get off my island."

"Always the most gracious host," Sonic hummed, letting out a whoop of laughter as Knuckles ran at him, quickly racing down the hallway, the echidna hot on his heels. Shadow simply shook his head and followed at a more sedate pace.

The following days were spent peacefully back in Sonic's house, though he did drag Shadow out of the house more than once to go for a run, the two figuring out together exactly how he could skate with his shoes to go at top speeds. Most, if not all, of their casual runs became races, ending in the two getting into a friendly argument about who the 'winner' was, which thrilled Sonic to no end when Shadow got that familiar little scowl on his face and puffed up his chest in self-confidence.

Their blissful little bubble could only last so long before it inevitably popped, however.

"Looks like I need to make another grocery run," Sonic sighed, already slipping his shoes on in the hallway.

"I'll come with you," Shadow said, rising from his seat on the couch, where he'd been re-reading the book of legends he'd picked up weeks prior.

"You don't have to, Shads. It'll probably be pretty boring," the blue hedgehog said, hand already on the door knob.

"It will give me an opportunity to get to know more of the town," Shadow insisted, sliding his own shoes on, "And Tails told me to make sure you remembered to get him his mints next time you went into town. This way I can be sure they won't be forgotten."

"Oh, ye of little faith," Sonic scoffed, but opened the door and gestured for Shadow to step through it. He bit his lip once Shadow had passed him, wishing he had come up with a better reason than 'it's boring' to keep Shadow at home. It hadn't occurred to him the first time he'd gone shopping, but he was pretty happy Shadow had stayed home once he'd given it some thought. The people in town knew who the hybrid was. Most people around the country did. A small handful of brave news reporters had made sure that as much of the fight between Sonic and Shadow as they deemed safe was broadcast across the country. He could only hope that the months between then and now had dulled most people's memory and no one would say anything to or about the dark hedgehog at his side, and that the handful of interviews he'd done after stopping the ARK, regaling Shadow as a hero, would help change the narrative a bit.

Luck was apparently not on his side.

The first bit of their shopping trip had been uneventful, with a short race to the shops, and a quiet meandering walk through the aisles. Shadow added odds and ends to the basket Sonic was carrying, while they enjoyed idle chit chat about meal plans for the week. But then one loud mouthed child spoiled it all by blatantly pointing at Shadow while tugging on their mother's dress and loudly stating, "Look, Mommy! It's the bad man from TV!"

Sonic froze, while Shadow simply looked confused, looking around behind him to see who the child was pointing at. When he found no one else in the aisle but them, he turned his gaze back towards the child who jumped and ducked behind his mothers legs. He opened his mouth to speak, only to be cut off by the child's irate looking mother.

"You should be ashamed of yourself," she seethed at Shadow, who took a quick step back, shock blatant on his face at being snapped at without provocation. She shot a dirty look at Sonic, who simply scowled right back at her. "I don't care what the news repots said. Bringing him out here, during the day, while there are children around?! Reckless endangerment!" With that she scooped up her child and stormed out of the aisle, leaving a bewildered Shadow and a livid Sonic behind.

"Sonic? Did…What just happened?" Shadow frowned, turning to Sonic in confusion.

"She was just being…intolerant," Sonic grumbled, shifting the basket on his arm, "C'mon. We've only got a few more things to grab and then we can go home."

Gathering the rest of the groceries was easy enough, as they only needed items in two more blissfully empty aisles. However, the cash register was a whole other ball game. There were only a few people in line as they approached, but once one person caught sight of them and made a rather undignified sound of fright, that caught the others attention and they all scattered, leaving a rather nervous looking cashier alone at the front of the store.

"This is becoming increasingly concerning, Sonic," Shadow murmured, glancing around at where all of the people had run off to while unloading their basket onto the counter.

"Ignore them," Sonic groused, shooting the cashier a withering look as they half ducked behind their register. Did the people really not trust him to know when there was an actual threat around? Not only was he insulted on Shadow's behalf at this point, but a little on his own, as well.

"If you say so," the hybrid muttered, stepping to the side while the cashier rang in their items with shaking hands.

Sonic paid quickly once the total came up on the screen, snatching up their bags in haste once the transaction was complete. The way everyone acted, as though Shadow was a ticking time bomb, grated on his last nerve. He turned to storm out of the store, only to find Shadow admiring a display stand of plants near the end of the register, completely oblivious to the customers peeking out from behind aisles and displays to wait until he was gone to finish their shopping. He felt his shoulders drop from their tense position at the soft smile on Shadows face as he gently touched the blooms of a tall lavender plant, watching with rapt attention as the hybrid closed his eyes and leaned in to take a deep whiff of the calming aroma the plant let off.

"Did you want one?"

"What?" Shadows eyes snapped open and he turned to Sonic, quickly retracting his hand from the plant as if he'd been caught doing something wrong.

"A lavender plant? They're meant to be soothing. Did you want one?" Sonic nodded at the purple flowers.

"Oh," Shadow glanced towards the flowers briefly before shaking his head, gesturing for Sonic to go ahead of him out of the store, "No, I don't think so. I seem to be making everyone in the store nervous, and you've already finished purchasing everything, so I think it would be best if we left."

"I can grab it, it's no big deal," Sonic insisted, only to grunt as Shadow slipped a hand behind Sonic and began to gently push him out of the store.

"I appreciate the offer, but I would rather avoid any further…unsavory interactions," Shadow stated, only removing his hand from Sonic once they were outside. "I also now have some questions for you, Sonic. And I think they would be best to answer at home." He gently took the grocery bags from the blue hedgehog, shooting him a meaningful look, before taking off the way they'd come in a blur of black and red.

"…shit."

It had never taken Sonic as long to get home as it did when he finally got his feet to move. Dread filled his stomach at the thought of what questions Shadow could have come up with after their rather harrowing trip to the grocery store. He swallowed thickly as he jogged up to his front yard, slowing to a walk as he came to the edge of the property for what was probably the first time since he'd owned the house. Upon stepping through the door he found Shadows shoes neatly tucked next to the door mat in their usual spot, which was at least a good sign. At the very least, it meant Shadow didn't have an immediate plan to take off from the house as soon as he got answers out of Sonic.

"Uhm…Where're you hiding, Shads?" he called into the house, slipping off his shoes and tucking them next to Shadows.

"I wouldn't call sitting at the kitchen table 'hiding'," came the curt reply from down the hallway.

Sonic visibly flinched at the hybrid's tone, taking a quick, deep breath to steady himself before walking into the kitchen with a forced smile on his face. "There you are!" he tried, only to be met with a flat stare. "Right," he sighed, ears flattening against his head as he shuffled across the room and settled himself in the chair across from Shadow, "So…what questions did you have for me?"

"I appreciate you not trying to beat around the bush," Shadow said with a slight nod, lightly drumming his fingers against the glass of water he had sat in front of himself. He let out a long sigh, letting his eyes slide shut, obviously centering himself before speaking. "Tell me…did you lie to me?"

"About what?"

"About who I am."

Sonic screwed his nose up, brow furrowed at the question. "You're gonna need to be a bit more specific, Shads."

The hybrid growled quietly under his breath, opening his eyes enough to glare down at the glass of water between his hands as though it had personally offended him. It was a rather familiar expression to Sonic, and he hated that he'd put it there. "About me being a hero, saving Mobius, being-," he grunted, the leather of his gloves creaking as he squeezed the glass, "being your friend."

"What? Shadow-"

"Do not lie to me again, Sonic," Shadow growled lowly, his piercing gaze cutting to Sonic, "Those people were terrified of me."

Sonic felt his shoulders drop at Shadow's glare, sinking slightly in his chair as he watched the hybrids quills stiffen and bristle. "I didn't. Not…not entirely."

The distinct sound of glass cracking reverberated through the kitchen as Shadow squeezed his glass. "Elaborate."

"You did save Mobius with me. You were a hero! You did grow up on the ARK, and you were created by a scientist named Gerald, to try and cure his sick granddaughter, Maria, who you were close with. All of that was true."

"But…?"

Emerald slid away from crimson as Sonic could not longer bear to keep eye contact with Shadow as he continued to speak. "But…when you were first awoken from being frozen someone manipulated your memories, making you think you were made to destroy, instead of heal and protect. And you…you attacked the city. You decimated a couple blocks before we managed to stop you, but it had all been televised. A lot of people saw you do it, so they're afraid. I tried to do damage control when I got back home, telling any news outlet that would listen that you helped me, but I guess people didn't really care since it wasn't something they could see happening in real time."

"…Is that all?"

Sonic cringed slightly, glancing up at Shadow, who was staring him down intently, the spiderweb of cracks in the glass he was holding making it obvious it was about two seconds from shattering. "A couple reporters managed to get hold of some sensitive information before GUN, the Guardian Unit of Nations, could shut it down. You were created with the help of some alien DNA that makes you able to channel chaos energy more efficiently than almost any other person or creature on Mobius. You can throw spears of chaos energy and teleport, which was shown on television."

"So….people think I'm a monster."

"But you're not!"

"How can you be so sure?!" The glass finally gave way with a resounding crunch, glass and water spilling across the table. Shadow quickly stood, gasping for air as if he'd just run a marathon. Sonic followed suit, rounding the table in a flash with his hands held out to catch Shadow should the hybrid try to run.

"I know you're not because I've seen how you look at this world. I've seen how happy you are just to read a good book or cook a delicious meal, or to just go for a run with me. You're good, Shadow. I promise you, you are not what those people think of you."

Shadow choked on his heaving breaths, angry tears brimming in his eyes as he grabbed at Sonic's outstretched hands, squeezing just this side of too hard. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I can!" Sonic snapped, twisting his hands in Shadow's grip to lace their fingers together, "The chao!"

The abrupt change of topic made Shadow startle, his grip loosening as a few of the tears in his eyes gently rolled down his cheeks. "What?"

"The chao, on Angel Island," Sonic elaborated, "They won't go near bad people. They're actively terrified of Eggman. One wouldn't have fallen asleep on you if you were a bad person. Trust me, Shadow. Please."

Shadow hiccupped, swallowing thickly as more tears began to trickle down his cheeks, his expression softening. "Did I hurt many people?" he practically whispered.

"I'd be lying if I said you didn't," Sonic offered, his heart practically shattering at the way Shadow dropped his head, ears pinned against his skull as a guttural sob ripped from his throat. Sonic felt tears threaten to gather in his own eyes, but he cleared his throat and gave Shadows fingers another reassuring squeeze. "We minimized casualties, and all civilians caught in the crossfire made full recoveries."

Slipping his fingers free from Sonic's grip, Shadow wrapped his arms around his torso, seeming to shrink in on himself. "How can you want to help me, knowing all of this?"

"I told you Shads," Sonic murmured, reaching out to gently place his hands on the hybrid's shoulders, expecting them to be shrugged off, but pleasantly surprised when they weren't. "You're a good person. I fully believe in second chances. And you earned your chance. Those people out there, they didn't see you in those moments when we pushed the ARK back into orbit," he said, a slow grin forming on his face as Shadow lifted his head to look at the hero as he spoke, "I never knew anyone else could use the chaos emeralds to go Super. So when I called on them to give me the strength to stop the ARK, and they leant their power to you as well, it was amazing. The look on your face was priceless," Sonic let out a quiet laugh at the sheer surprise on Shadows face, "Yeah, kinda like that. Your strength and determination in those moments were inspiring. And I'd be lying if I said your quills didn't look pretty cool in gold."

A quiet sniff left Shadow as he swiped at his nose with the back of his glove. "…Really?"

Sonic snorted, patting at Shadow's shoulders, reluctantly letting his hands slide away. "Yeah, man. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you the whole truth, before. I just…I wanted to see you happy. When we first met, you always looked so sad or angry. It was nice to see you with a smile on your face. I wanted that to last for you as long as it could."

"I…I appreciate that. And, truthfully, I'm not sure how I would've taken all that when I first arrived, so I guess it was for the best that you kept it to yourself for a while. It just…makes me wonder if I really want to get my memories back. Knowing how miserable I was."

"Amy's told me, before, that being sad or upset about something just means you had something to be truly happy about at one point. Dunno how much truth that really holds, but I think you've got memories you'd regret not getting back. You helped me save Mobius for a reason, and I think part of it was some of those memories."

Shadow sighed, rubbing at his eyes and nodding slightly. "I suppose you're right."

"I know I am," Sonic said with a grin, gently punching Shadow in the shoulder, his heart giving a happy little thump at the tiny smile Shadow offered him in return. "Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't I organize a little party? There are a bunch of people I've talked to about you who I'm pretty sure would be excited to finally get to meet you, and I think we deserve to have some fun after all this. How does that sound?"

"…that might be fun," Shadow finally agreed after a moment, offering Sonic a short nod.

"Awesome! Let's do it to it."

Of course, when Sonic said he'd organize a party, he'd really meant he'd ask Amy to do it for him.

"I brought you your favorite ice cream!"

"…What do you want, Sonic?" Amy sounded exasperated, but she still took the tub of ice cream from the blue hedgehog, quickly trotting into her house to put it in the freezer, knowing full well that Sonic would let himself in. She turned once the ice cream was safely stored, folding her arms over her chest and cocking a hip at the sheepish grin Sonic offered her from the kitchen doorway.

"I was hoping you could organize a little get together for me?" he asked, casually leaning against the door frame.

"A party?" Amy perked up a little, "What for?"

"Well…Shadow's been having a bit of a rough time this week, and I thought it might be nice for him to get to do a little mingling that wasn't me or Tails, y'know?"

"I should've guessed," Amy said with a roll of her eyes, but turned to pick a day planner up off her kitchen counter.

"What do you mean you should've guessed?" Sonic pushed himself from the door frame, posture subconsciously becoming defensive.

"Oh, it's nothing really," Amy said with a little wave of her hand, flipping open the planner, "It just seems like ever since Shadow showed up he's the only one you've been spending any time with."

"He lost his memory, Ames! Was I just supposed to give him a pat on the head and send him on his way?"

"Hey, hey!" Amy shot Sonic a look, causing the hero to deflate slightly, "No need to get all huffy with me. It would just be nice to see you without your thoughts being completely otherwise occupied. It feels like he's all you've talked about for months now." She let out a little breath, looking back down at her planner, "Anyway…when were you hoping to have this party of yours?"

"You'll really put it together for me?" Sonic perked up, his tail giving a little wag.

"For a price," Amy chirped with a little grin, pulling a pen from the coiled spine of her planner.

"I should've known," Sonic groaned, tipping his head back, his shoulders slumping as his tail went limp.

Amy simply giggled at him, turning back to her planner and jotting some notes down. "Oh, don't be so dramatic. I just want to go on a nice dinner date. No chili dogs or pizza, and no talk about Shadow. That sounds fair, doesn't it?"

"A dinner date? Really, Amy?"

"What? Can't a girl want to spend some quality time with her favorite hedgehog?" Amy gave him a wink, before going back to her notes, not catching Sonic's blatant cringe. "I can only assume you have no idea of when you want to have your party, but knowing you, you're going to want it as soon as possible…And given how quiet Robotnik has been lately, I think this weekend is probably a safe bet, and that should give everyone plenty of time to make arrangements to get here." She snapped her planner shut, arching a brow at Sonic with a self-assured smile. "If that sounds agreeable to you, all I need is your acceptance of my terms, and I'll get started."

With a short sigh, Sonic gave a curt nod, returning Amy's smile with a small one of his own. "Yeah, okay. One dinner date, no chili dogs or pizza, and no talk about Shadow in exchange for one party."

"Great! I'll organize it for Saturday at central park, since that'll give us plenty of space. Show up for noon, I'll make sure there's food," Amy hummed with a nod, "All you've got to do is show up."

"Thanks, Ames. You're the best," Sonic offered her a grin, chuckling at the way she seemed to puff up at his praise.

"I know I am," she chirped in reply, before pausing to tap her pen against her planner, "Though, real quick…What does Shadow like to eat? Does he have any favorites? If the party is for him, i should probably know what to cater it with."

"Oh, uh," Sonic blinked, chewing on his lip as he racked his brain for food he'd specifically seen Shadow eat or ask him to pick up from the store over the last few weeks. Truthfully, he was fairly certain the only food he'd seen the hybrid eat were the meals he prepared and shared with Sonic and Tails. Which, although he was sure any of those foods would work well for the party, he wouldn't consider any of them 'favorites' for Shadow. That was, until he recalled one specific morning when he'd woken up earlier than usual and walked into the kitchen without Shadow immediately noticing him. The hybrid had been dumping coffee beans into the grinder to make his and Tails usual morning pot of coffee, only to pause and stare at a few beans in the palm of his head. Sonic had initially thought that there was something wrong with those specific beans, only to be mildly shocked as Shadow tipped the beans into his mouth and chomped down on them with an audible crunch and a hum of satisfaction.

Sonic grinned at the memory, focusing back on Amy, who was giving him an odd look. "Coffee beans," he supplied simply, resting his hands on his hips.

"…Coffee beans?"

"Yup!

"Uh…Okay. Coffee beans, it is."

Thankfully, the rest of the week went by rather uneventfully and the weekend arrived before Sonic even realized what day it was. It was really only because he'd happened to glance at the calendar tacked up on the kitchen wall that he realized that it was Saturday. He choked on the chaos soda he'd been sipping at, whipping around on his heel to look at the clock, his heart ticking up in speed at the time. Amy would murder him if they were late to the party.

"Heyyyy, you're not making anything special for lunch, are ya, Shads?" Sonic asked quickly, turning to the hybrid, who had a bag of bread in hand and a confused look on his face.

"Just sandwiches?" he offered, lifting the bag a bit higher, "Why?

"I just thought, y'know what'd be nice? Going out! We haven't really gone anywhere since that trip to the grocery store, and it'd be nice to get out of the house and give you some better experiences," Sonic hummed, shoving his half empty can of soda into the fridge.

"We just went for a run yesterday?"

"Yeah, that's not the same," Sonic dismissed quickly, snagging the bag of bread from Shadow's hands and setting it on the counter, only offering the hybrid a smile as he was stared down in mild concern. "Why don't you go put your shoes on, and I'll go grab Tails!"

"Uh…sure," Shadow agreed slowly, shaking his head as Sonic zipped away to fetch Tails from the garage.

A short crash and a rather explicit curse on Tails part were quick to follow as Shadow slipped his shoes on, the hybrid genuinely worried as Sonic appeared in the front hallway with a rather irritated fox kit tucked under his arm, and a bruise quite obviously blooming on his hip. Sonic had his shoes on in a flash and darted out the door, waving at Shadow from the front lawn as the hybrid hesitated in the hallway.

"C'mon, Shads! Let's juice!"

Shadow let out a little breath, deciding it was probably best to simply go with whatever was happening and deal with any potential fallout later, rather than try and question Sonic when he was obviously a bit on the manic side. Once the door was locked and the keys were safely tucked into his quills, Shadow jogged across the lawn to meet up with Sonic, who was running in place with Tails rag dolling in his hold, the fox kit obviously having given up trying to get free of his brothers grip.

"Try to keep up!" Sonic chirped, taking off with Shadow hot on his heels a moment later, laugher trailing behind them.

Their arrival to the park was met with a cacophony of greetings from the large gaggle of Mobians that were gathered. Amy had really gone all out in sending out invites and making sure people would attend. Besides herself, Knuckles, and Rouge, she'd gotten Vanilla, Cream with her Chao Cheese, Team Chaotix, Big, Princess Sally, Bunnie, Mighty and Ray all together in the park for the party. A real who's who of Sonic's friends, and none of whom that would cast unfair judgement on Shadow. Sonic beamed, returning the greeting with one of his own as he released Tails, before turning to find a rather overwhelmed looking hybrid stood frozen next to him.

"Hey…Shads? You okay? I know this was sort of a surprise, but I did tell you i was going to throw a party," Sonic offered, only just now wondering if, perhaps, a large party hadn't been the best idea, all things considered.

"I-Yes," Shadow gave a quick nod, absently fixing his quills as his gaze darted over the dozen or so people meandering and socializing around the handful of picnic tables decorated for the party, "Yes, I'll be fine. There are just a lot of people."

"Lots of people who will love you," Sonic reassured, slipping behind Shadow to gently push him towards the party, "You're polite and charming. That's all you really need. Trust me."

"Polite and charming. Right," the hybrid absently echoed, waving awkwardly with a small, forced smile on his face as he was greeted by the party goers.

Sonic managed to introduce a small handful of the crowd to Shadow, and got to engage in about ten minutes of conversation before he found a peach arm winding around his own with Amy sidling up next to him, a happy little grin on her face. He sighed, but made no move to dislodge her as she easily injected herself into the conversation Sonic had been having with Shadow, Vanilla and Vector. When a natural lull in the conversation occurred, Amy gave his arm a little tug, leaning around his shoulder to offer an apologetic smile to Shadow, who gave the pink hedgehog an odd look for the way she was half hanging off Sonic's arm.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I just need a moment with Sonic," she offered, wiggling her fingers in a reserved little wave, which Shadow returned hesitantly, obviously confused as to why the motion caused Sonic to let out a snort of laughter.

"Did I do something weird?" the dark hedgehog asked, turning to Vanilla and Vector who were now also chuckling.

"Nah, man," Sonic shook his head, allowing Amy to drag him away, "You're all good. Be back in a flash." He sighed as Amy pulled him away, casting one last glance back to find Shadow fully engaged back in conversation with the others, more than happy to see how well the hybrid was doing. He only wished he could be over there as well, instead of being interrogated by Amy. "Alright, Ames," he slipped his arm free of her grasp once they'd stopped walking, "What's up?"

"I wanted to know your opinion on the party," she chirped, smile not diming despite the fact that Sonic was free of her grip.

"It's great. You did a really amazing job throwing it all together, especially since you did it in such a short period of time. I'm kinda surprised so many people showed up," Sonic offered, gesturing towards the picnic tables laden with snacks and the yard games set up off to the side where Charmy and Tails were cheating at ladder toss against Espio and Bunnie. He snickered as he watched Bunnie throw her toss too hard, the bola she was using wrapping itself around the branches of a tree.

"It wasn't too hard," Amy demurred, lacing her fingers in front of herself, "Once I told everyone the party was for you, it wasn't too hard to get them to agree."

"What?" Sonic looked back to Amy, light frown on his face, "But the party is for Shadow."

"Yeah, but most of them don't know Shadow, outside of what the news showed. You and I both know everyone here is willing to give just about anyone the benefit of the doubt, but trying to convince them to come to a party for a guy who tried to destroy the world would be like trying to convince the freedom fighters to celebrate Eggman's birthday," Amy sighed, her smile finally falling as she placed her hands on her hips, "And don't try to argue with me, you know I'm right."

"That's still a bit harsh, Ames," Sonic grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It's not like I'm disagreeing with you. I just did what I needed to, to make sure people showed up," Amy stated, pointing towards the party, "Anyway, look. I even made sure to have coffee beans on the menu."

The jubilant sound of a child screeching in disgust could be heard from the direction Amy pointed, to which Sonic turned his head just in time to watch Shadow grin and toss coffee beans into his mouth with Cream watching on with horrified fascination. He crunched the beans between his teeth and offered a handful to her, to which she loudly protested with a laugh, though Cheese did seem a little intrigued by the unconventional snack. Sonic chuckled at their antics, shaking his head slightly in amusement.

"…Oh."

Sonic frowned at the quiet word from Amy, quickly turning his attention back to her. "What? Is something wrong?"

"No…well, yes, but," she murmured, suddenly looking like a kicked puppy, "it's nothing you can help, I don't think."

"What're you talking about?" Sonic reached for Amy, only to be even more confused as she pulled away from him.

"Well, first, you could've told me you had started dating Shadow before agreeing to go on a date with me," she said a bit bitingly, clutching at the hem of her dress.

"Amy, seriously, what are you talking about?" Sonic borderline growled, trying to keep his voice low in case anyone from the party got close enough to eavesdrop. "I am not dating Shadow."

"No? Oh, please, Sonic," she scoffed, shooting him a half hearted glare, "With the way you were just looking at him, how could I not tell?" She paused at the irritated stare Sonic was giving her, a quiet gasp leaving her as her demeanor changed from upset to sympathetic. "Unless…? Oh, Sonic," she breathed, shaking her head, "Have you seriously not realized?"

"This is getting to be too much," Sonic groused, about to turn, but Amy's hand on his arm stopped him.

"Sonic…If I said I would give absolutely anything to have you look at me the way you were just looking at him, it would still be an understatement," Amy sighed, sliding her hands down to wrap them around Sonics, "You were looking at him like he hung the moon and stars. You looked so smitten. And all he was doing was playing with Cream and eating coffee beans!"

Sonic scoffed, wrenching his hand free of Amy's grip while taking a quick step back. "That's ridiculous! I'm just helping a friend!"

"A friend who you let move in with you and plan parties for because you want to make him happy after having a, and I quote 'rough week'. I don't remember the last time you threw a party for anyone that wasn't for their birthday."

"I didn't even plan this party, I got you to do it!"

"You still had the idea for it!"

"Only because I wanted Shadow to realize he's the good person I know he is! We ran into people in the grocery store who were petrified of him, and he had a break down in my kitchen! I wasn't going to let him go on thinking he was some sort of monster just because some people got the wrong impression of him," Sonic seethed, only to pause and glance around to make sure no one was paying the squabbling duo any mind. He quickly grabbed Amy and ducked behind a tree, ignoring her protest. "Look. I just want him to have a good time while he's missing his memories and not bogged down by all that crap that happened on the ARK. That doesn't mean I have feelings for him."

Slowly, Amy extracted her arm from Sonic's grasp, taking a swift step back once she was free. She took a deep breath, an uncharacteristic scowl on her face as she stared Sonic down. "Do you two get along?"

"Huh?" Sonic's irritation immediately dissipated at the sudden question.

"Do you two get along?"

"Well, I mean, of course…"

"Do you enjoy spending time with him?"

Sonic scoffed, cocking his hip. "What're you trying to get at, Ames?"

"Answer my question."

"Of course I do. He's one of the only people who can give me a run for my money in a race."

"Okay. Do you try to think of reasons to spend time with him?"

Sonic opened his mouth to make another asinine comment, before snapping his mouth shut to give that particular question some thought. Normally, when it had been a while between Eggman attacks, Sonic would run around, visiting friends or places he'd yet to see to keep himself occupied and entertained. But with Shadow staying in the house, he often found himself just as happy to stay home, sharing the time and space with the dark hedgehog as he read his own book or bustled around the kitchen making a good meal. He bit his lip, his shoulders slumping slightly. "I…I guess I do."

"Are you happy when you're together?"

"Yeah…"

"Do you like to make him happy?"

Sonic squirmed slightly, rubbing absently at his quills. "I mean, yeah, I guess…"

Amy sighed, staring forlornly at Sonic for a moment, before shaking her head and brushing her quills out of her face. "You don't need to go on a date with me as payment anymore."

"What? A deal's a deal, Ames-"

"Exactly," Amy hummed, brushing invisible dust from her dress, "It was a deal. And I decided to break it." She stepped around Sonic and the tree they hid behind, pausing next to the hero. "If I were you," she said quietly, "I would think about those questions I asked you." With that Amy walked back to the party, leaving a rather bewildered Sonic behind.

He stepped out from behind the tree to watch as Amy gave Shadow a hug, which he returned with a confused but contented little smile on his face. It made something twist weirdly in his chest. He took another quick step back, deciding that, perhaps, it'd be best if he took a run to clear his head, rather than stay for the rest of the party. Shadow and Tails could get home on their own, it wasn't like they were that far from the house. And with that thought, Sonic took off, ignorant of the pair of worried crimson eyes that watched him go.

The next day Sonic made a point of skipping breakfast and avoiding Shadow all together as he got his thoughts together. And then the next day. And the next. On the fourth day Tails finally blasted Sonic on his communicator, telling him to at least leave a note if he was suddenly going to disappear for days on end so Shadow would stop making him meals and expecting him to show up. It made Sonic's heart sink at the thought of Shadow sitting at the dining room table with his plate set out, waiting, only to be ultimately disappointed thanks to Sonic's cowardice and indecision. He grunted and kicked at a random piece of trash near his foot. Perhaps Amy really was getting at something with her crazy theory about him having feelings.

He sighed when he heard his communicator ping at him once again, finding a note from Tails to pick up some mints from the store on his way home, and a single comment that Shadow would like to speak to him whenever he got home. Sonic groaned at the request, raking his fingers through his quills and pulling. Amy made it sound so simple, but he still hadn't figured anything out. Though, he supposed that avoiding the issue wasn't really doing anyone any good.

Sighing heavily, he let his hands drop from his quills, glaring up at the sky for a moment, before kicking out and taking off back towards home. Running around and trying to think wasn't working, so he might as well face the problem head on and come up with something on the fly. It was how he came up with all his best plans in battle, after all.

In his haste to get home, Sonic very nearly blew right past the store, but at the last moment he remembered Tails' request for more mint candies. Given that the kid was probably pissed at him for disappearing without a word he would be remiss to show up at home without them. So, he dug his heels in and made a quick turn, making sure to slow to a jog as he approached the doors, not wanting to blow anything off the shelves or stands.

It only took him a moment to locate his brothers favorite candies amongst the shelves, speeding to the register once he had them in hand to not further delay the inevitable. However, it was as he approached the counter that he spotted them. The lavender plants that had offered Shadow some modicum of comfort during their disastrous grocery trip. He let out a slow breath as his mind drifted to the image of the hybrid looking so contented while smelling the flowers. Unhurriedly, he approached the display, reaching out to gently touch the blooms in the same fashion that Shadow had, getting light whiffs of their scent as he looked them over. The idea of taking one of them home to get to see that same expression on the hybrids face every day made his heart flutter.

And with that thought, Sonic knew exactly how he felt and what he needed to do.

Making his way home in a quick fashion with a potted plant in hand was not as simple as he'd thought it would be. In the end, he'd wound up having to walk home to keep the poor thing intact, which irritated him to no end, since taking his time was not ideal.

But finally, finally, he made it home.

He made his way into the house, carefully setting the plant down, finding the place to be eerily quiet. He slipped his shoes off, then made his way to the kitchen, tossing Tails' candies onto the counter, only to find a note there from the fox kit saying he was going to Charmy's place. Sonic thought it was a bit odd to leave a note when he could just message Sonic on the communicators, until he realized that it wasn't for him. It was for Shadow, since the hybrid still didn't have a communicator yet. He knew his brother didn't mean it as such, but it felt like a bit of a dig at his own lack of proper communication. He sighed and turned to lean back against the counter, now feeling a bit foolish for rushing home the way he had when it seemed like no one else was even there. Shoving himself from the counter after a beat and shuffling through the house, Sonic decided he may as well watch a movie or play a video game while he waited for the others to get back.

He froze upon reaching the living room, momentarily having forgotten that it was Shadow's make-shift bedroom. With the silence of the house he hadn't been expecting to find the dark hedgehog on the couch, but apparently he simply slept like the dead. Shadow was splayed out along the length of the couch with a book resting open on his chest, and a blanket tangled with his legs. Sonic leaned against the couch, taking the opportunity to admire Shadow as he slept for a few moments, before he reached down and gently shook his ankle to wake him up.

A swinging right hook was fully not what Sonic expected as Shadow woke with a shout, thanking Chaos that his reflexes were so quick.

"Good morning to you, too!" Sonic called from the other side of the room, where he had plastered himself against the book shelf to keep from getting hit.

"Wh-huh?" Shadow blinked owlishly, glancing around the room, arm still raised in the air as he slowly took in his surroundings. Sonic wished he had a camera on hand to capture the expression on the hybrids face, along with the way his usually perfectly quaffed quills were sticking up in every which direction from how he'd been positioned on the couch. Shadow finally blinked in Sonic's direction, a light frown on his face, before recognition lit up his expression. "Sonic!"

"Hey there, sunshine."

Quickly, Shadow stood from the couch, running his fingers through his quills to flatten them down, a light flush dusting his muzzle as he did his best to quickly make himself presentable. "If I'd known when you were to be home I would've made sure to be awake," he remarked, scooping his fallen book from the floor where it had fallen to set it on the coffee table.

Sonic felt a pang of guilt at the simple comment, rubbing at the back of his head as he shuffled back towards the couch. "Yeah, I…I'm sorry about that," Sonic sighed, pausing as he reached the side of the couch, "I should've at least left a note or something before I ran off like that."

"It's quite alright. Tails informed me that, when Eggman hasn't attacked in a while, sometimes you get stir crazy. He said it's not unusual for you to disappear for longer stretches of time occasionally," Shadow reassured, slowly pulling the blanket he'd been using from the couch and folding it.

"I mean, yeah, sometimes…but this time Amy said something to me that just got into my head, and-"

"So, she did say something to you…?"

"What?" Sonic frowned slightly, watching as Shadow set the folded blanket on the back of the couch.

"Amy," Shadow supplied, idly spinning one of his inhibitor rings around his wrist to keep his hands busy. "She said something to you. I figured as much, since you ran off after she took you aside ." He visibly steeled himself, dropping his hands to his sides as he looked to Sonic. "If she still thinks I'm untrustworthy to be here I can find somewhere else to stay. Rouge insisted once again at the party that I could stay with her, and Vector has also offered a place with the Chaotix. If my presence has become a problem, I can vacate at your leisure."

"What?!" Sonic felt his heart jump into his throat, quickly darting around the couch and grabbing at Shadow's shoulders, "No! No, of course I don't want you to leave. What Amy said, yeah, it got into my head but not-…It wasn't anything bad. It just gave me some stuff to think about. I needed some time and space to figure it out."

"Oh," Shadow let out a breath, shoulders relaxing as a small smile graced his muzzle, "I'm glad. I had worried that I'd done something upsetting without realizing again."

"No. The exact opposite, really," Sonic said with a light chuckle, letting his hands slide down Shadow's arms to gently take his hands. "I wanted to talk to you about that, actually. Oh! But first-" he quickly jogged over to the front door where he'd set the lavender plant, lifting it with a flourish, "I brought you a present!"

"The plant from the grocery store?" Shadow blinked, carefully taking the plant as Sonic handed him the pot.

"Yeah. It's not much, but I remembered how much you seemed to like it when we were at the store. Sorta seemed like it gave you a little moment of peace when everything else was sort of hitting the fan, so I thought you might like to have a little bit of that here. At home," Sonic offered, watching in rapt attention as Shadow brought the little purple blooms to his nose to take a careful sniff of the flowers.

"That's very thoughtful. Thank you."

Sonic flushed at the warm smile he was given in exchange for the plant, unable to contain his nervous energy as he began to tap his foot on the floor. "I…It was nothin," he muttered, rubbing absently at his arm. He winced slightly as Shadow lowered the plant, his eyes traveling down to Sonic's restless foot before moving back up to his face.

"Is there something else? You seem…agitated."

"Uh, yeah," Sonic cleared his throat, forcing his foot to stop tapping, though he then began to pick at a loose thread on one of his gloves, "Sorry, this is just…a lot. For me. And new."

"It's alright. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

Sonic let out a little puff of breath, a slow smile spreading across his face. "No. You're not, are you?" He cleared his throat again at the odd look Shadow gave him, forcing his hands down to his sides for a beat, before bringing them back up to cup around Shadows where he held the plant. "Shadow…I know we haven't really known each other that long, and maybe it was the chaos emeralds that brought us together at first, but…But I've never felt like this around anyone before. You treat Tails like family, you're an amazing cook, and you take care of us without ever needing to be asked. You keep up with me in every way that matters, and you make me happy in a way that is so unique to you, I don't even know how to describe it. I can't imagine waking up in the morning anymore and not finding you working on breakfast and sneaking coffee beans when you think no one's looking. Which, by the way, there's no point to, we all know you eat them," he paused as they both chuckled, "What I'm trying to say is…In my life, the way I live, and the things I do, opportunities fly by in a blink. So if you don't take them when they show up, they can vanish before you even realize what you've missed. And I don't want to do that with you. I want to take every opportunity I can get, and cherish them…Because I-I love you."

"Sonic…"

Ducking his head, Sonic let out a nervous little laugh. "You don't have to say it back. I know this is probably out of left field for you. But, you've been on my mind for months. It just took Amy pointing out how obvious I was being for me to finally get my head out of my ass and give it two seconds of thought to realize what I was feeling." Silence reigned for a few moments until Sonic finally lifted his gaze back up to find Shadow's eyes rimmed with tears, the hybrid breathing heavily as he was obviously trying to keep his emotions in check. "Uh…You okay?"

"Yes…No," Shadow hiccupped, tipping his head back and blowing out a breath. He took another minute or so to compose himself, before sniffing in a breath and bringing his head back down to offer the blue hedgehog a lopsided smile. "That was very sweet. I hope you don't mind if I take some time to think about it?"

"Of course not," Sonic quickly reassured, giving Shadow's hands a gentle squeeze around the pot before letting go, "Take all the time you need. Took me months, after all."

Shadow let out a bark of laughter, carefully setting the plant down on the coffee table. "Hopefully it won't take me quite as long to have an answer for you," he offered, wiping at his face hastily once his hands were free. "What I can tell you now, however, is that I'm happy to have found my way here. I'm happy that I've gotten to spend the time I have with you, Tails, and your friends. Even if I never manage to regain my memories, I think I would be okay with that if it meant I got to spend the rest of my days here. With you."

Sonic couldn't help the gleeful grin that spread across his muzzle at Shadow's words, his hands reaching out to cup the hybrid's face as he bounced on his toes. "It'd be more than okay if you stayed here, for as long as you'd like," he hummed, inching ever closer to Shadow, the hybrid letting out a low chuckle at Sonic's excited energy. "I'm going to kiss you now, if that's okay?"

"Please do."

That was all the permission Sonic needed to duck into Shadow's space, pressing their lips together with a pleased little hum. He tilted his head slightly to deepen the kiss as Shadow's arms wound around his torso, only to jerk back in surprise as the front door opened suddenly, accompanied by Tails loudly shouting that he was home. The three stood staring awkwardly at each other as Tails fully stepped inside and shut the door behind himself.

"Uh…So, what were you guys up to?" Tails asked, toeing off his shoes.

"Kissing," Sonic said with a cheeky grin, Shadow making a pathetic wheezing sound as he buried his face in a blue shoulder.

"I see," Tails said plainly, padding down the hallway, "Well, you two have fun with that. Glad you made up. Oh, but please make sure to keep it down. I'd really appreciate not having to find out what sounds my brother makes when 'being intimate'."

"Tails!" Shadow and Sonic snapped at the same time, both flushing as Tails disappeared into the garage with a cackling laugh.

"That was mortifying," Shadow grumbled, pulling away from Sonic enough to rub his hands over his face with a low groan.

"Eh, could've been worse."

"How so?"

"We could've actually been 'getting intimate'."

"Sonic!"

"What? I'm not wrong," the blue hedgehog laughed and landed on the couch with a grunt as Shadow shoved him away. He grinned up at the hybrid, enjoying the way Shadow's face scrunched up in embarrassment, lips twisted in a scowl and cheeks aflame. "Hey," he hummed, reaching out to tangle their hands together, giving a little tug so Shadow shuffled forward to stand between his knees, "I love you."

"I…How do I respond?" Shadow asked, leaning over Sonic, his embarrassment easily morphing into nervousness.

"You could kiss me again?" Sonic offered, cheeky little smirk curling his lips.

"If you insist," Shadow breathed, a smile finally returning to his face as he ducked his head down to press their lips together once more.

The following weeks were like a dream to Sonic.

After a bit of cajoling from Tails, Shadow moved his few meager belongings up to Sonic's room, where he began to spend the night curled up around the blue hedgehog. Normally, Sonic found any sort of physical contact at night stifling that wasn't strictly a blanket. It was why he had a queen size mattress to himself. However, for some reason, he was more than happy to have Shadow's head nestled under his chin, and his arms wrapped around his torso the whole nigh through. And in the morning, instead of waking up to the smell of breakfast cooking, Shadow would wake him up with a handful of gentle kisses peppered across his face before slipping from the warmth of their blankets to get ready for the day. It left the hero of Mobius feeling light and airy for the rest of the day.

The days themselves were not much different than what they had been before Sonic had confessed to Shadow, but there were little added surprises and delights that Sonic slowly got to discover over time. Like how Shadow apparently quite enjoyed Sonic surprising him with little kisses as he zipped past him on his way around the house, going out of his way to make a game of it to try and catch him to return the kisses, stating that he couldn't let Sonic get one up on him. Or finding out that Shadow liked to waltz by walking into the kitchen one afternoon as the hybrid set some music to play before getting started on dinner, only to be swept into a dance quite unexpectedly.

There were also the new prizes for being the winner in their races. Sonic was pleased as punch when he realized that Shadow was more than willing to give in to his demand for kisses if he won, no matter how out of breath the both of them were by the time they were done. One especially memorable race ended with Shadow pinned to a tree, snarling about Sonic being a dirty cheater to win kisses, but still melting into it when Sonic nipped at his lips and pressed his fingers into the dip on the hybrid's hip that he knew made him shiver. Sonic was fairly certain the only reason they hadn't just gone at it against the tree then and there was because Shadow noticed that they had actually wound up on a hiking trail and had expressed that Tails walking in on them kissing was one thing, but a total stranger did not need to get an eye full of hedgehog. Frankly, Sonic begged to differ, but Shadow distracted Sonic with a well placed roll of his hips before slipping free of the other's hold and taking off.

Sonic tried not to give too much thought to the fact that Shadow had yet to return his declaration of love, despite the fact that they were very much together. He could wait, even if being patient was slowly eating him up inside. Shadow deserved all the time in the world to figure things out.

Unfortunately, peace on Mobius seemed to be perpetually fleeting, so time was not really on their side.

Realistically, Sonic had known it was only a matter of time until Robotnik put together some new cockamamie scheme to try and take over the world. So, he couldn't really be too surprised when, a mere two months after Shadow appeared on his front lawn, he got a call to aid from Sally. Apparently, Eggman had managed to amass himself a new little army of heavies and miscellaneous badniks, topped off by Metal Sonic leading the charge.

"Go figure Egghead would choose now to attack," Sonic growled, glaring at the screen Tails had pulled up, detailing what they currently knew about the bombardment.

"It was going to happen sooner or later…Though, I do also wish it had been later," Tails grumbled, typing rapidly as data and videos flashed across the screen, "And with Metal Sonic leading the attack, you know he means business."

"Metal Sonic?" Shadow echoed, stepping up next to Sonic to look over the screens. He'd been elbow deep in the side garden when Sonic got the call, having taken it over when Sonic offered it as a spot to transplant the lavender to. He'd opted to finish up and take a quick shower while Sonic got debriefed from Sally over the communicators and Tails got all of the info the freedom fighters had to offer.

"Yeah…Eggman decided a long time ago that the best way to beat me was with a robo version of me. Every time we beat Metal he gets a new upgrade. Which has happened a fair few times over the years, as you can imagine. It makes him a real tough nut to crack," Sonic groused, tapping his toe impatiently on the floor. "We're gonna need all hands on deck, especially with those heavies backing him up."

"…Does that include Shadow?" Tails asked quietly, casting a glance over his shoulder at his brother, who bristled.

"No."

Shadow blinked, a frown immediately curling his lips. "What? Why not? You just said you needed all hands on deck."

"All capable hands. No offense, Shads, but you still don't know how to work your powers properly yet. You're fast and all, but we haven't exactly spent any time figuring out how you get your chaos spears to work. It's too risky to have you out on the field," the blue hero stated bluntly, folding his arms over his chest.

"Full offense taken," Shadow growled back, quills bristling as he took a threatening step towards Sonic, "All you are is fast. I can fight! Don't treat me like I'm fragile just because I don't remember everything yet."

"He's kinda right, Sonic," Tails added, spinning around in his chair, "Arguably, Shadow is the strongest person we know. Even without his chaos spears, he'd be an asset against Metal. You can't bench him just because you're worried."

Sonic reared back slightly, shooting Tails a glare. "I'm not worried."

"You blatantly are. You know Shadow is a good fighter, and he's as fast as you are. The two of you against Metal would be ideal, while everyone else takes on the heavies and badniks. You can't argue that battle plan is sound. You're just worried he'll get hurt, like the last time you fought together," Tails reasoned, anxiously fiddling with one of his tails.

"…Is that true?" Shadow asked, posture relaxing as Sonic bit his lip and looked away. "Sonic. You can't seriously want to endanger others just to keep me safe? We'd work better as a team to beat them now, before they advance too far. Listen to your head, not your heart."

Sonic growled low in his throat, ears pinned back as he glanced between his brother and partner, before looking back towards the screens where a video of Metal Sonic decimating a freshly evacuated house was playing on loop. He squeezed his eyes shut, hunching his shoulders for a moment, before throwing his arms up with a frustrated shout. "Fine! Fine. You're right," he half snarled, rubbing his hands over his face. "I just," he sighed, posture going slack as he looked to Shadow, his expression defeated, "I hate the thought of you getting hurt again because I wasn't fast enough."

"Give me a little credit," Shadow snorted, folding his arms over his chest, "I can take care of myself." And with the self assured stance and cocky little smirk that settled on his face, he looked every bit the ultimate lifeform he claimed to be while aboard the ARK, and Sonic couldn't help but believe him.

Getting to the fight had been simple enough in the Tornado. The issue was that once they'd begun to approach the battle field, Sonic and Shadow were almost immediately separated from everyone else by Metal Sonic. There was no time to dodge as Metal slammed into the Tornado as it flew in low to land, Sonic and Shadow leaping from the damaged plane to go after the robotic ruffian as he tried to lay waste to the freedom fighters first line of defense.

It didn't take long for Metal to lead them to Robotnik.

"Hey, hey, Eggy!" Sonic called, pausing on the battle field as Metal dashed off to his leader, "Took you longer than usual to try something. Getting slow in our old age, are we?" He shot a smirk towards Shadow, who simply rolled his eyes as he came to a stop next to the hero.

"I'll have you know that proper fabrication takes time," Robotnik snapped back, leaning over the edge of his egg mobile to shake his fist at the hedgehogs. He froze upon seeing Shadow stood next to Sonic, openly gaping and holding a hand out to keep Metal from advancing again. "Shadow?! What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help stop your tirade against the good people of Mobius," Shadow declared, puffing his chest out in a self assured way that made Sonic snicker quietly next to him.

"Wh-Seriously? After all I did for you, this is the thanks I get? Family is supposed to stick together, you know," Robotnik grumped, slouching back in his seat.

"…Family?" the hybrid echoed, all of his previous bravado disappearing in an instant, "What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about? Oh, only that Gerald Robotnik, my grandfather, created you? How hard did you hit your head when you crash landed? I thought I got Metal to catch you before too much damage occurred," Robotnik stated, waving a hand through the air, "The real question is, how did you manage to get caught up with the blue idiot and his little band of do-gooders? One minute you were unconscious in my med-bay, and the next you're gone."

"I-I don't-," Shadow muttered, shaking his head slightly, suddenly turning to Sonic, "Did you know about this? All this time, were you still keeping secrets from me?!"

"I didn't mean to," Sonic said quickly, shaking his head and waving his hands through the air, "Honest! It totally slipped my mind that Egghead and Gerald were related. I swear!" He quickly made a crisscross gesture over his chest, "Cross my heart, Shadow. With everything else going on, I genuinely just forgot."

"Convenient detail to forget," Shadow growled, turning his attention back towards Robotnik and Metal, "We'll talk about this later. For now, let's just deal with the mechanical menace and make sure everyone stays safe."

"Sounds like a plan," Sonic easily agreed, already dreading the conversation they were going to have to have later. Hopefully it would go better than the last conversation they'd had to have when Sonic purposefully left out details of the hybrids past.

"A disappointing plan," Robotnik snipped from above, finally lowering his arm to allow Metal past him, "You should choose who you side with more carefully, Shadow."

"I think I was plenty careful with my choice," Shadow bit back, quickly dodging as Metal slammed into the ground where he had been standing, leaving a crater behind.

"You tell 'em, Shads," Sonic called with a grin, zipping around Metal to deliver a swift kick to his head, making him lurch to the side.

"You are on thin ice," the hybrid hissed, dodging yet another blow from Metal.

"Right! Noted," the hero said with a strained laugh, moving in tandem with Shadow around Metal.

As far as Sonic was concerned, the fight that followed was relatively average when it came to battles against Metal. They exchanged blows, Metal got a leg ripped off, and overall it leaned in Sonic's favor, especially with Shadow at his side. He thought things were going relatively well, particularly when Metal's engine began to sputter out after an exceptionally swift round house kick from Shadow. However, Sonic really should have learned not to count his flickys before they hatched.

Metal was obviously getting desperate, his blows getting more wild and erratic as Sonic and Shadow gained the upper hand, his failure eminent and predicted, if Eggman's disappearance was anything to go by. Sonic should've known better than to take his eyes off of Metal for even a moment, but their fight had gotten closer to where the freedom fighters were finishing off the last of the badniks, and he couldn't help but check on them when he heard Amy shouting directions across the battlefield to Knuckles. Those precious few seconds were all that Metal needed to swoop in at the hero, claws raised to strike.

"SONIC!"

A grunt left the blue blur as he was body slammed to the side, time seeming to slow to a crawl as he twisted in the air, watching in horror as Metal's claws came down across Shadow's chest, digging into flesh and hurling him at speed into a pile of rubble. He gasped as he hit the dirt, winded and terrified as Shadows blood spattered across the spot he'd just stood.

"No," Sonic gasped, staggering to his feet just in time to intercept another blow from Metal, snarling in the robots face as he grappled with him. "Get out of MY WAY," he bellowed, quickly spinning and throwing Metal haphazardly to the side, not bothering to watch where the robot landed. "Shadow?!" He scrambled over the torn up landscape, hurrying to the hybrid's side, where he lay in a heap amongst broken cinder blocks and splintered wood. There was a large, open gash across Shadow's chest, exposing some of the white bone beneath flesh, making Sonic gag at the sight, and a prominent wound at his temple that was slowly oozing blood across the stone he'd apparently hit his head on. "No, no, no," Sonic's hands shook as he gently brushed his fingers down Shadow's arm, choking on air as his fingers hit the inhibitor ring around the hybrid's wrist. "Shadow?"

There was no time for Sonic to grieve his mistake, as the tell tale mechanical sounds of Metal dragging himself across the battle field could be heard close by. Swiftly, Sonic stood, icy fury on his face as he ran to where Metal was forcing himself onto his functional leg. With a low growl the hero spun and kicked the juddering robot to the ground, letting out a primal yell as he pounced, hammering Metal with swift punches before ripping one of his arms free of his body and tossing it aside. He finally sat back as the robot sparked and sputtered, his eyes flickering as his power cells shorted out. Sonic stood on shaky legs as Metal finally powered down, turning quickly to run back to Shadow, only to find Rouge and Tails huddled around him, the later hastily wrapping bandages around the gaping chest wound.

"He's gonna be okay, right?" Sonic practically wheezed as Rouge hurried to hold him back, Tails muttering something on his communicator when he caught sight of his brother.

"He's a trooper, y'know he is," Rouge reassured, keeping her hands firmly on Sonic's shoulders, even as he tried to push past her to get to Shadow. "The others were just finishing up when we saw you two over here. We're gonna get him the help he needs, Blue, don't you worry."

"It's my fault," Sonic murmured, wild eyes shifting from Shadow's supine form to Rouge's face, "I looked away for a second. I looked away for a second and he got hurt. Again! I-It's my fault."

"Hey now, sugar," Rouge cooed, wrapping her arms around Sonic's shoulders and giving him a gentle squeeze and he shuddered in her arms but refused to cry, "It'll be okay. You'll see."

Getting Shadow into a hospital was a bit of an affair, given that GUN almost immediately tried to take over his care and sweep him away to a secure facility once word got to them that he'd been active in the fight. Unlucky for them, Sonic was steadfast and stubborn, and since he had been the one to check Shadow into the hospital in the first place, the staff wouldn't discharge the hybrid without Sonic's signature. The subsequent argument with the commander had been explosive, but ultimately the hero of Mobius had won, and the commander was removed from the hospital for disturbing the peace. And so, Sonic found himself sat in a rather uncomfortable chair in a private room on the third floor of a hospital, watching over the still form of one Shadow the hedgehog, his hands wrapped around Shadow's limp fingers and his head bowed. It had been two days since the battle had taken place, and Sonic had barely slept a wink, not wanting to miss the moment the hybrid woke up.

"Mnn…Where am I?"

Sonic's head shot up at the raspy words, a brilliant grin breaking out across his face at seeing squinted crimson eyes glaring around the hospital room. He gave Shadow's hand a gentle squeeze, leaning in to try and catch the hybrid's gaze. "Hey! You've been out for two days. It's nice to see you awake. How're you feeling?"

"Like a truck hit me and I guzzled a bag of sand," Shadow grumbled, pulling his hand free of Sonic's grasp to rub at his face. The blue hedgehog took that as his queue to grab a glass of water from the table next to Shadow's bed, sticking a straw into it and wiggling it in front of the hybrid's face.

"This might help with the sandy feeling," Sonic hummed, smiling warmly as Shadow took it with a grumbled 'thanks'.

Once the glass was half empty, Shadow looked around the room once again, frowning a bit as he took in his surroundings. "So…where am I, and why are you here, hedgehog?"

Sonic reeled back like he'd been hit, blinking rapidly in surprise at being called 'hedgehog'. He hadn't been called that since the ARK incident. "Uh…you're at the hospital. We fought Metal Sonic and you got hit pretty hard. Apparently Metal actually managed to claw deep enough to scratch a couple of your rib bones. And, well…I'm here to keep watch over you, I guess."

"Hmm…Well, as you can see, I'm awake and fairly functional. You don't need to watch over me anymore," Shadow stated blandly, his stare cold and distant, holding none of the warmth that Sonic had grown used to over the last couple of months.

"I….right. Yeah," Sonic nodded quickly, lurching up from his seat, his heart in his throat and suddenly feeling like he was going to throw up, "I'll go let Rouge and the others know you're okay." With that he hurried from the room, swallowing down any and all emotions that threatened to tear free of him. The most important thing right now was letting everyone know that Shadow was awake, and then he could go lock himself in a bathroom and have a miniature meltdown over the fact that his partner apparently no longer remembered the last two months. Maybe it would be a bathroom halfway around the world. That sounded like a plan.

Once he made all of the appropriate calls via phone and communicator, Sonic took off. If there was one thing he was good at, it was running. He ran for what felt like days, not stopping until his legs threatened to stop working from exhaustion, and even then he pushed himself until he found the most secluded, out of the way cave he could to finally break down and weep. He wept for the scant period of happiness he'd managed to have with Shadow, and the kind warmth that the cruelty of the world had taken away from the hybrid. And he wept for the shattering of his heart, because he knew that with the return of Shadow's memories, and the grating reality of the world baring down on them, Shadow's heart would inevitably be closed to him. Tragedy had built steep walls around Shadow's heart, and Sonic very much doubted that he would be able to scale them again.

So, of course, he was quite surprised when a figure appeared in the opening to the cave, blocking the light of the setting sun. He lifted his head and wiped at his face, squinting against the light with red, puffy eyes, taking far too long to recognize the familiar upturned, red striped quills of his 'rival'. "What're you doing here?" Sonic grumbled, voice slightly raspy from crying.

"Looking for you, obviously," Shadow stated bluntly, striding forward and digging into his quills. He procured a bottle of water and held it out to the blue hero. "Here. You're probably dehydrated."

"Thanks." Sonic took the bottle, but simply held it in his lap, staring off into space, not wanting to meet Shadows eyes and see that same look of cold disregard again. Not yet, anyway. He jumped slightly as Shadow sat down next to him with a heavy sigh. He chanced a glance at the hybrid out of the corner of his eye, absently biting at his lip at the far away look on the others face. He stayed silent, wondering what Shadow might have to say.

"Rouge filled me in on everything that happened," Shadow finally spoke after what felt like an eternity, the sun having mostly dipped beneath the horizon in the meantime, "The fight and the time you spent watching over me in the hospital."

"Is that all she told you about?" Sonic finally cracked open the bottle of water, taking a slow swig.

"That's all she needed to," Shadow shifted, tilting his head so he could watch Sonic sipping at his water. "I remember. Everything."

The bottle of water paused halfway to Sonic's mouth, emerald eyes darting to meet crimson, a glimmer of hope in them. "…everything?"

"Everything."

Shadows eyes still weren't as bright as they had been while he'd been living with Sonic, but the blue hedgehog hadn't expected them to be. All he was truly hoping for was a spark of recognition and the warmth he'd lost himself in multiple times in the last few months. And lo and behold, he found it. His breath hitched as fresh tears pooled in his eyes, a hysterical little titter of a laugh escaping him.

"You could've probably given me more than two minutes to get reoriented before taking off like that. It was a real pain in the ass tracking you down," Shadow groused, leaning back against the cave wall.

"Sorry. I'd sort of just had my heart shattered into a million little pieces, so I wasn't really thinking straight," Sonic snorted, rubbing at his eyes, unable to wipe the dopey smile off his face.

"Mmm…About that," Shadow sighed, reaching over to tap at the water bottle, forcing Sonic to continue taking little sips, "I wanted to talk to you about our…relationship."

"What about it?" Sonic couldn't keep the nerves out of his voice, the plastic of the water bottle crinkling in his grasp as he crushed it slightly in anxiety.

"I wanted to ask you if it was something you truly wanted to keep pursuing, now that I'm…fully aware again."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just, that I'm not the same hedgehog that you seemingly fell in love with. I haven't been that hedgehog since before Maria died. Truthfully, I don't know if I was really ever that hedgehog," Shadow murmured with a little shrug, "You fell in love with who I was. Not who I am."

"That's not true!" Sonic practically shouted, sitting up and forward, making Shadow jump and stare at him with wide eyes. "I know that's exactly who you are! Under the trauma and all of the shit life has thrown at you, that is who you are. You're warm hearted and kind, with so much love to give it hurts to watch people shy away from you. Shadow…I know you love eating raw coffee beans, the smell of lavender, and if you could you would spend days just sitting in a comfy chair, reading. You like old timey music that drives Tails nuts, you know how to waltz, and you absolutely shine when you tap into your chaos energy. Those are things I love about you, and they don't suddenly disappear just because you're hurting. Please. Give me, no, give us a chance. If you think you're so different now that you have your memories back, give me the chance to get to know who you are now and prove that I love you, no matter what."

Shadow sat, stunned into silence for a solid minute, until he finally swallowed thickly, blinking back obvious tears. "Do you mean that?"

"Of course I do. With every fiber of my being."

A tiny quirk of the lips was all the smile Sonic got, but it was like the sun itself was shining on him, even though it had long since disappeared beyond the horizon. "If you'd like, then."

Sonic let out a cheerful shout, tossing his half empty water bottle across the cavern absently, before shifting to sit on his knees, leaning into Shadow's space with a grin on his face. The hybrid leaned back, his ears tipped back in uncertainty as his space was encroached upon. "I'm going to kiss you now," Sonic stated, wiggling like an excited puppy, his tail a blur behind him, "If that's okay?"

Shadow blinked, his smile slowly returning as he realized what Sonic was doing. "Please do."

With another happy little sound, Sonic darted forward, pressing his lips to Shadows as he brought his hands up to gently cup the hybrid's face, letting his thumbs absently sweep along his cheek bones. His heart beat an elated staccato in his chest, having thought he would never get the opportunity to do this again.

When they broke apart, Shadow made a soft little humming sound, reaching up to take Sonic's hands from his face. He took a deep breath, giving the hero's hands a light squeeze as he licked his lips, obviously working his way up to saying something. Sonic stayed resolutely quiet, not wanting to break whatever fragile moment was building between them.

"Say it to me again," Shadow finally spoke, lifting his gaze to stare intently into Sonic's eyes.

"Say what again?"

"That you love me."

"What for?"

"Just do it, Sonic," Shadow grumbled, earning a light laugh from the blue hedgehog.

"A hundred million times, or more. As many times as you'd like," Sonic hummed, brushing his thumbs against the back of Shadow's hands, "I love you."

Shadow let out a breath, offering Sonic a soft, warm smile, one that Sonic knew was now only for him. "I love you, too."

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonadow #sonic fanfiction #sonic the hedgehog fanfiction #sonadow fanfiction #things that i wrote #amy rose #miles tails prower

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