#its very silly and fun and charming
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nam3-kun · 3 months ago
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reread the comic and fell in love with it again
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wewerebornsextuplets · 4 months ago
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everyone should think too deeply about small oc details forever btw. it makes life better
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fruitsyrups · 1 year ago
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peeby
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ottosbigtop · 9 months ago
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In other news ive finally started playing baldurs gate 3 and despite being a glorified hater about it when it got mega-hyped i am enjoying myself a lot actually. They weren’t kidding about the level of detail in this game we love to see media living up to the hype.
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graff-aganda · 1 month ago
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No no ikr. The ENT fandom is so quiet around here. And honestly I'm just excited to see art of my favourite dudes, because we rarely get fanart around here, and when we do it's usually Trip or T'Pol solely. Malcolm gets left in the dust quite a lot so I'm happy you drew him as well - and so well done too!
Anyway, ramble over, lol.
OMG... Well I think I can see why a lot of fanart is of Trip and/or T'pol (those two seem like they're doing some heavy lifting for the show/are just a lot of people's faves. I've got a few half baked ideas in mind for them myself.) but the rest of the crew as a whole do deserve more love I think! :]
#(I'm hijacking this ask to talk about some ENT thoughts in the tags LMAO sorry 😭🙏)#I've been watching it for the first time with some friends who are also watching it for the first time with me like 90% of the time.#When Reed was introduced we did our silly little “omg. why is he british 😰” jokes but personally-#he has grown on me a lot. Very much my type of character so far I think... :]#ive got a few sketches involving him that wont see the light of day because they require five levels of inside jokes from my watch party 😭#but god. for the most part I like all the main crew characters#the only one I'm not 100% on is archer and i dont even know how to articulate why.#like I don't HATE him. but he is also very fun to dunk on.#and i enjoy scott bakula very much. its crazy how like. not intriguing or charming I find his depiction of archer mmmmmost of the time#which sucks bc i KNOW it could be awesome. but its not really there for me yet.... oh well.#but god. i wish i could go back in time and force some improvements into the way the show was handled.....#my list of demands. quit the excessive sexualisation of t'pol and hoshi. can we PLEASE stop underutilising mayweather. and honestly-#i think a bit more dramatic visual variety between the main human cast would help a bit#now its time to end MY ramble yet again 😭 i feel like if i talk about ent for too long i'll inevitably start complaining-#despite me still having a mostly enjoyable time... all that stuff just really feels kicked up to 11 compared to previous treks tho 😔#but its only bc i care 💔 i see so much potential where the writers really borked their shit#telegraff#themurdochmemesteries#i might get around to a few more doodles or meme redraws but i can never guarantee anything when I have a whole queue of stuff-#that needs to be done before I can draw whatever I want. but by god. the ideas and concept drafts are there. 💪💪💪😤#:] <3
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royalreef · 2 months ago
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(( I love thinking about Miri's weird skull. Like, her head continues past the point where you would think it would end, for nearly the same length as what you have already. It's soft and squishy because that's where even more of her gigantic jaw muscles connect. It's great.
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anachronistic-falsehood · 4 months ago
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ok i need like a run down of all the fucking. jrwi ship names i don't know. i think i know all of the pd ones but i don't know what kian/rolan's ship name is and i don't know what kian/rand's ship name is. do emizel and gabriel have a ship name. WHAT on earth is arthur and magnus' ship name << that one is very important 2 me i need answers!!!! also arthur and deacon!!!! do arthur and taylor lautner have a ship name. i would never use it but i want to know because i think it would be funny if there was. is there a masterlist or a google doc of ship names. if there isn't i will make one i swear i will
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dandyshucks · 4 months ago
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i havent even thought about what starter im going to choose omg... i don't think i have any preferences towards type, i usually just end up liking pkmn based on vibe and aesthetics LMAO, and I've never played any game except for platinum (and I haven't even finished my first playthrough of it....) so i have zero experience in choosing starters,,,, THIS IS EXCITING
#choosing to be excited abt this rather than stressed fhdkdl#i like how litten looks but i dont rly like incineroar#actually i dont know if i rly like any of the third evolutions of the starters#okay wait actually i take it back. i just looked and the third evo of rowlet is fun#im so sorry to incineroar likers and primarina likers 😭#incineroar looks silly to me and primarina just annoys me DBFJDML its calls in the anime were rly grating on my nerves after a bit 😭😭#rowlet in its first evo doesnt appeal to me a whole lot tbh which is funny bc now that i look at its evo line i rly like the others#but rowlet itself is just kind of ... shrug. like it looks very polite but it doesnt have any sort of Spark to it yknow?#its just a polite looking orb fjdksl#which is perhaps the charm of it but i feel like its an orb w a bowtie and its very plain fjdksl#theres not a lot of ✨Personality✨ to its appearance#WHICH IS PERHAPS RICH COMING FROM ME. THE INFAMOUS PIPLUP ENJOYER. DNDKSL#i think im gonna go w rowlet though which is funny bc thats the one I thought i Wouldn't be going with#i like popplio and litten in terms of design way more but i just dislike both their third evos too much to choose them 😭#WAIT WHY DOES ROWLET HAVE TWO TYPES#I THOUGHT ALL BASE STARTERS ONLY HAD ONE TYPE??? HUH??#okay anyways i gotta stop chattering djdksl i am sitting outside i should not be looking at my phone LMAO im gonna do some sketching#yall... im choosing another bird pkmn as my starter.... i fear i may be developing a pattern of some kind LOL#dandy.cmd
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moonsidesong · 1 year ago
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im not like, an "ii critical" or whatever you wanna call it, mostly i just watch new episodes when they come out and feel pretty lukewarm about them, but gotta say its almost comical to me that the newest episode is like "ummmm balloon you should SHOW not TELL..." and then immediately proceeds to explicitly spell out his problems to him verbally. like. alright man sure
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bahrlee · 1 year ago
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I've been watching Doctor Who recently. I get it now
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walking-loather · 3 months ago
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bmpmp3 · 10 months ago
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and you WILL listen to my half finished synthv covers (vsqx by help me)
#vocal synth wip#synthv#genbu#in the time since my last half finished cover i have purchased the full version of my beloved dolphin being electrocuted genbu#jk jk i really do think his full standard is solid. his lite is glitched out but thats not his fault he was just programmed that way#although as he is a standard bank i do miss the breath phonemes. and he doesnt even have like a folder of external soundbytes or anything#he cant breathe 😔 thats okay genbu i still love you. even though you cant breathe.#for real i do love how his bank sounds like. so moody? i remember they wanted to make an ai bank for him#and that would be fun to have especially to fit his voicevox counterpart better (AND ALSO BREATH PHONEMES!!!!!)#but there is like this gloomy quality to his standard that i think sounds so good in songs like this#lots of power but very dark. perfect for crying his eyes out in alt rock LOL#anyway. despite my love for genbu. as you can hear i am still fighting against his volume discrepancies LOL#compression settings are so hard to figure out in mixing orz the real hard part with vocal synth covers no one warns u about#BUT IM GETTNG THERE also i think i wanna do a couple more things in the synthv editor. mostly messing with phonemes and expression and whtv#u can also hear that genbu struggles at saying 'warau' in the same soft way miku does in the original LOL but i think it adds character#his like. aggressive enunciation. in his voicevox talk bank and with his real life voice provider the enunciation sounds more like charming#like a silly and blunt but very kind young man. but in his synthv bank it makes him sound like hes fucking seething sometimes LOL#moody and gloomy indeed <3 its fun when that happens in vocal synths: where the synth just sounds completely like its own thing#because of the resampling process or whatever. lots of examples like vocaloid ia vs lia or like i dunno. miriam vs miriam stockley LOL#anyway. time to go back in the trenches (trying to mix genbus voice in fucking fruityloops)
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ilydeku · 5 months ago
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teacher izuku has a girlfriend??
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Regardless of the joy and spur he expelled towards the students, Izuku knew how to maintain the steady hand of keeping the class under set composure. Nothing but the intent to teach and the will to learn, an equitable relationship between the two—and it was no question. Being the most loved and favored teacher had its perks, and grandiose respect was one of them.
But no matter how mature a student has grown, having fun will always reign somewhere along their focal point. Even if that fun means encouraging their teacher in his love life.
"...-because a good relationship between your teammates makes for optimal communication, conduct, and cooperation," explained Izuku, pointing from one spot on the board to another, well immersed in his lesson. "Now, considering quirk-"
"Speaking of relationships, are you in a relationship, sir?" A student, a frivolous girl, teasingly pipes in sudden interest. Plenty of students amongst the grade claimed a crush on Deku-sensei. Of course they did: he's sweet, very tentative and understanding to all his students individually, and takes his time to really help and engrave the knowledge he possessed for them to become the best future heroes they could be. That, and mostly his physical charms. So wouldn't it be in his best interest to have a girlfriend?
Little did Izuku know that this inquiry marked the beginning of his first uncontrollable havoc.
For a moment, he hesitated, pausing midway on the convoluted diagrams drawn on the whiteboard. A strange question, but he thought nothing much of it. He turned around and crossed his arms, lazily pointing the expo marker to the girl.
"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. Unrelevant, didn't see a hand raised-"
"Aw, but sir!" She draws out, slumping back in her seat. "Are you?"
Some students began to look at each other and exchange a few grins until the room began to slowly increase in volume and erupt into unintelligible chatter.
"Ahem."
The room fell into silence accordingly, but he could clearly read the expression on everyone's faces. The class was still waiting for his answer, the way they stared and leaned over their desks in anticipation. Izuku sighs and turns back to the board.
"...no, I'm not in a relationship. Moving on, the information I've drawn-"
"Really?" The girl cuts in matter of factly with a tilt of her head. "But aren't you and y/n talking??"
A chorus of engrossed 'oohs' echoed across the room and a very subtle, but defined shade of pink dusted his cheeks at the mention of you. He turned around again and attempted to regain composure of the class.
"Everyone settle down-"
"Y/n L/n? Isn't that (hero name)?? I think she's in the top 20's now."
"Yeah! I've seen her drop by the school a couple times during lunch!"
"Now that I think about it, Deku-sensei does have her come in as a guest speaker a lot..."
It was just one after another, the addition of suspicions and theories now bringing the truth to the surface. Izuku swallowed.
A loose black band around Izuku's wrist caught another student's eye and they stood up and pointed in excitement. "Look!! Deku-sensei has hair ties on his wrist!! Hair ties!!"
"Kids, please...-"
"Wow..I've never seen your class this rowdy before, Izuku!!" That voice. His head snapped toward you in surprised, totally flustered about the situation. The entire class went dead silent and turned to you, standing at the entrance of the classroom. You wave at his kids with a smile and stroll over to Izuku's desk, dropping off a bag of some sort. He watches you endearingly.
"You forgot your lunch at home, silly."
"O-Oh did I? Haha, sorry y/n. Thank you. You're on break right now, right?"
The students watched you both like a show, taking in the interaction, the body language, the words. There's no doubt you two were a thing right? Deku-sensei and (hero name)!!
And just then, you confirmed it with simple kiss on his cheek.
"Bye, Izuku! Be nice to the kids, hm?"
"You know I always am!!"
As soon as the classroom door clicked, the class burst into awe.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US???"
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gatorbites-imagines · 5 months ago
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Listen. Listen. Hear me out.
I beg you, almighty gator—Gambit(Remy LeBeau) x M/FTM reader(ur choice i like both :)) where reader is a mutant that has some kind of power that has to do with sea monsters, and loves tarot cards so Remy does card tricks for him while reader is in a pool.
When I was a kid I called Gambit “Magic Man” and I had to hold myself back from screaming that in the theater when I was watching D&W a few days ago and revived my non-understandable fanboying of him. (Sorry for the rant)
You can change the fic anyway you want, I’ve got no problem as long as Remy is as silly as he normally is(can evolve into smut or whatever cause I’m freaky like that 😏)
Gracias Gator!!
Remy Lebeau x mutant male reader
Headcanons
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I love Remy SO much its insane. I can’t write accents, so it’s there in spirit. Haven’t read the comics, so im basing this off of is wiki. no smut but i had fun writing this.
i loved seeing Remy in the movie, i just wish theyd given him his eyes, you know?
How you two met can be a mixed bag. Maybe you met in the x-men, maybe you met in the thieves guild before every crossing paths with the x-men as a whole, or maybe somewhere completely third. I enjoy the idea of the thieves guild though, so ill go with that.
You both had different reasons for joining or doing what you do, but being two mutants amongst a lot of other non-mutants meant you felt some kind of kinship with each other, even if you didn’t really get along in the beginning.
Especially with you two being visibly mutants. With Remy’s eyes and you having scales on different areas of your body, gills on your sides, what others would refer to as “monster eyes”, so on and so forth.
This resulted in you two preferring to work together when you got the chance, you trained together, ate together, slept together (not like that), so on and so forth. It also meant you two got a very deep understanding of each other over time.
It also meant that Remy got to see just how stupidly powerful you were. In the beginning you just thought your powers involved controlling water and being able to breath underwater. Who’d have thought you could do crazy stuff like controlling typhoons, rain, lightning, so on and so forth, like some kind of biblical being.
This was how you gained the name leviathan. You didn’t really like the name in the beginning, since you hadn’t really picked it yourself and it felt almost insulting with your appearance. But Remy was so supportive you ended up coming to like it, even though it took a long time.
In the end you two split apart as you leave the guild, going your separate ways but still keeping in contact in small but safe ways. With a power like yours it was hard to stay under the radar, and many wanted you on their side, even if it meant by force.
Time passes, Remy joins the x-men, you travel on your own and discover yourself and the world. Remy gets kicked out of the x-men when they learn of his past, you two meet up again and travel together for a while.
Its during this gap in Remy’s place with the x-men that your relationship became something more. He tells you about Rogue, and how he at first thought he loved her, only to realize what he felt for her wasn’t near as strong as what he felt for you.
And of course, during this confession, Remy tries to lay on the charm and act like it isn’t a big deal, but you can easily see through him and notice how anxious he is about it. in the end you just have to grab him and kiss him to shut him up, which yes, does shut him up, but also leads to you guys falling back into the water you’d been sitting by when he lunges at you to kiss you again.
Hes a charming guy yes, Remy has such a way with his words, how he carries himself or how he touches you. But underneath all that he also cares so deeply, to the point of being willing to die for you or those he cares about, which makes you lose scales from stress at times.
So, if you place protection spells on him that you got from the deepest part of the sea by the people who have started to worship you like a god, then only you have to know. That Namor guy is pretty swell, when he isn’t being a bit arrogant. He even taught you how to use a spear, so you guys are kinda brothers in spirit now.
At some point Remy does return to the x-men, somewhere you don’t feel ready to join him yet. So, a lot of kisses are shared, and a few tears a shed. And yes, of course you give him jewelry made from your scales. And a dagger made out of your larger teeth when you transform into a more serpentine form, because yes, you can also do that.
Remy doesn’t feel much need to tell the x-men about his relationship. Sure, he keeps flirting but that’s just because that’s how he is. But it never goes further than that. Some of the members that can read minds know about it though, since he thinks about you regularly.
In the end the relationship is exposed when the x-men find themselves in quite the pickle near the ocean. And Remy, knowing he can get them the upper hand, is able to snap one of the sigils you placed on him.
Rip to whoever they were fighting, since the sea lashes out and swallows them whole, followers by a giant feral looking sea serpent, you, rise from the water. Yes, you teleported there. What else were you supposed to do? You thought your boy was in danger!
Cue the x-men just being stunned or confused when Remy calls out the cheesiest pet names, almost kicking his feet in happiness at seeing you. It makes a bit more sense when you transform into a more human form, it still takes some explaining though.
In the end you don’t end up fully joining the x-men. You doing that would place them under a lot more danger than usual, since you had your own enemies and alliances, and you’re pretty sure Namor would get butthurt if you did. But you become something of an ally. Which means you hang out on Krakoa on the regular.
It becomes a very regular sight to see a giant serpent lazily swimming around the island, or resting half on the beach as Remy sits and shows you his different tarot readings. Of course, you also spend time together with you in a more human form, but seeing such a big sea monster also makes any baddies keep a distance.
There are also of course pools set up on the island, not just for you, but they’re accessible for you as well. Remy is regularly seen in the pool with you, or just sitting with his feet in as you two talk or whatever else you guys do.
You end up becoming something of a swim instructor to the youngest mutants, or just those that can’t swim in general. This is something Remy finds extremely entertaining and he’s always teasing you about it. luckily its easy to shut him up with a kiss, or by knocking him into the pool. Or both. He doesn’t mind.
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squiddy-god · 3 months ago
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Hello! I saw the Twst post you did the other day another Anon asked for about the golden retriever bf and Savanaclaw, and I adored it! It was adorable, so I was hoping for some other Twst characters (of your choice) to put with a golden retriever bf!
Hehehe more golden retriever bf as per request, i decided to do some that feel like they would be fun and silly, i'm really happy that i've been getting so many male/masc reader requests, it feels really good 
Malleus, divus, Floyd, vil
♥︎request open♥︎
Additional edit : the way I genuinely struggled to pick a picture of vil because he's to pretty
Cw : fluff, golden retriever reader!, male/masc! Reader. Reader is yuu/mc/you but is a beastman
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Malleus 
 Oh he thinks you are just the cutest
Real sunshine x gloomy pair here because he is so in love with you
It always makes him chuckle that you are so eager to please and spend time with him, practically tackling him with a wagging tail when he visits ramshackle
His tail also wags when he happy to see you 
Finds himself patting your head often, like hes always giving you head pats because your floppy golden ers are just too endearing  for the dragon to resist
Still calls you child of man but he begins to rethink the name in favor of beastie because you are his cute little beast 
Love it when he ruffles your head and and your tail wags because it makes him so so special
He gets a bit jealous when others pet your head, but hes quick to come to your air if people touch you without your consent or if they make you uncomfortable 
(whos the real gaur dog lmao)
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Divus 
Obviously in this one you are a grown adult and not a student,,,more like working as a teacher's aid or janitor 
I could not resist writing for him
Hes so perfect for this prompt because you are his adorable sweet puppy
He likes to gift you outfits that match your hair,fluffy ears because style will always be priority
The man absolutely calls you darling and good boy exclusively. Your name? Haha that's funny.
He is delighted to see that your world has/is exclusively beastmen, it means that you will have a slightly easier time adjusting with stuff.
Matching accessories all day every day, he’s particle to dalmatians obviously but he keeps a little keychain on his phone with a little golden retriever on it to remind him of you
Trust your ears and hair will never have a better hair cut, truly this man is a wizard (hahaha) with those scissors 
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Floyd 
Still calls you shrimpy but he alternates between shrimpy and pupppppppyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy said exactly like that 
Whos kicked puppy expression is more powerful?you or floyd? You because ironically unlike you, floyd has a biting problem 
I think he likes to play fight/wrestle 
Like out of nowhere you get tackled and now its a fight lmao
He also likes if you bite him with affection because he bites with affection too 
Teases you relentlessly about how much your tail wags when you see him but will also get so pouty if you see him and your tail isn't just going crazy 
You are his good luck charm for basketball 
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Vil 
Pt two of perfect ears and tail 
He wont have you just walking around looking like some mangy hound, you are his good boy and he will have you looking your best
I think he would be really into those pet safe hair/fur dyes- here me out he really like when you two match purples, or any color you want because ofc 
Maybe he dyes little hearts/ a cute little poison apple on one of your ears (if you want) 
I also like to think that when you do really well at something he cant help but give you the headpats you rightfully deserve 
I think vil gets very stressed, usually it boils over at small things, you see a lot of the “behind the scenes” vil, even more thank someone as close to hims as rook, and you de-stress him a lot, petting your ears and being aloud to relax with cuddles is a good way to relax him.
Vil with those longer sharp acrylic nails and he gives the best head scratches (this is a call form inside the house i need this pls)
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gyummigon · 7 months ago
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☆ my days with you (they are always happy)
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beomgyu x gn!reader
୨୧ genre: fluff/comfort ୨୧ word count: 4.4k ୨୧ summary: after having a crush on your best friend for months, you have a silly, very silly, confession of feelings. ୨୧ a/n: truth be told, this is a little silly, and cheesy, but I wanted needed to write something that felt easy and refreshing. it's a little longer than i originally thought it would be, but it was fun. hope you like it, have a nice day:))
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You liked Beomgyu. You liked him because of the way his eyes sparkled when he hummed his favorite song while doing the dishes, when he collapsed on the bed after an endless list of complaints about how tired he was, or when he spoke with overflowing emotion about the things he liked. You liked him because you found in him a kind of gentleness that you didn't find in the rest of the world, that you didn't think you could get from a man. And the amazing thing is that he was a man, but when you were with him, it was as if you saw the world through the eyes of a child. Eyes that saw happiness and didn't twist it, but made it bigger, spread it out and expanded it until those eyes - brown and deep and enchantingly beautiful - were the last thing left.
Perhaps you were in love with one of your closest friends. Or maybe you were just in the right place.
This thought was even harder to resolve when you arrived at your parents' house that Sunday afternoon, having checked off every single item on your mother's shopping list. You had only been out shopping for an hour, but it was as if you were returning home for the first time after the days out of town you had left behind. You didn't even know when you'd left the bags of groceries at the front door, or when you'd turned back to the garden to see that beaming smile with the wrinkles in the cheeks, let alone when your voice, shaky and too anxious for your taste, uttered an embarrassed "hey".
Beomgyu, who until then had been laughing at a ridiculous joke he had shared with your father, turned to look at you with an enchanting calm that could only be found on a beach at sunset, when the moon was doing its thing and the tide was ebbing in deep, sentimental sighs. The boy seemed to see something you couldn't define on your face, for his smile shrank to a soft, almost shy line.
You didn't take your attention off your face as he approached, hands hidden behind his back, and stopped in front of you. Despite your father's loud voice, the mischievous laughter of your younger siblings, and your mother's scolding of the dog to keep it away from the meat ready for roasting, the only thing you found yourself paying attention to was the disturbingly fast beating of your heart.
"Hey," you repeated, no less awkwardly. "What is this, I travel for a few weeks and suddenly my family has already adopted you?"
Beomgyu kept his shy smile and leaned against one of the wooden boards of the porch for a moment. His checkered shirt billowed slightly in the soft summer breeze.
"I think it's your father who decided to adopt me. He says I'm the exact representation of his youth: charming, talented, and outrageously beautiful."
"I think he says that to every young person he meets."
"Are you saying I shouldn't believe him?"
You didn't know when you started smiling, but your cheeks were sure to hurt if you didn't relax the muscles in your face soon.
"No, I'm just saying my father talks too much."
"A sincere and open man, I like him."
"As sincere as a politician in an election debate."
Beomgyu laughed and looked out into the garden, where your father was still sitting in a folding chair with a scowl on his face, trying to light the wood-burning barbecue. In a measured, polite voice that you didn't know he could have and that almost made you want to mock him, Beomgyu offered to help; but when your father looked up and - in the most millennial, bland way possible - gave him a thumbs-up before shouting a friendly "I've got it under control, son," for some stupid, irrational, and probably childish reason, you blushed. You blushed badly.
What the hell, since when did your father call Beomgyu "son"? And since when did your family normally invite one of your friends to join them on Burger Sunday? Was that your mother putting another plate on the table? Was that what Beomgyu did while you were away? Eat your burger in your place?
Beomgyu seemed to read the thoughts embodied in your expression very well, because he laughed softly and lifted a shoulder with an unseemly shyness. Surely, that's how you had captivated them all.
You little harpy.
And yet, to see him as vibrant and jovial as when you left was like a Band-Aid that lightened the burden of stress you'd endured these past few days. When you arrived in town last Thursday night, the first thing you thought of was to look for him, but the idiot had gotten sick from drinking bad milk and had begged you not to visit him until his diarrhea was over. He hadn't texted you since the night before, and you were beginning to think he'd dropped his phone in the toilet during one of his diarrhea attacks, but what you didn't expect was to find him at your house on your way home from the supermarket, nor did you expect to feel the way you felt: nervous, with words thought but never spoken, with desires intensified but more terrifying than ever.
"So... how was the convention that starved you for almost a month?"
You looked up as your younger brother ran past you, the dog not far behind. Before reaching the short stairs that led into the house, Beomgyu scooped your brother up in his arms and spun him around in the air before setting him down and encouraging him back to where your parents were. Your brother ran off with the dog behind him.
You blinked.
"It was a month of physical pain. I didn't know what an international accounting convention would be like until I went to one. I thought it would be like the boring lectures we had in high school and college, but apparently businessmen have fun with taxes and returns."
Beomgyu snorted in amusement and shoved his hands into his pants pockets as he turned to lean against the railing, looking you in the eye with that sweet smile of his.
"I missed you."
"Oh, did you?" you asked, keeping a neutral expression on your face as you raised an eyebrow. Despite your coolness, it wasn't hard to notice a slight blush spreading across your cheeks. It wasn't that you had been away from him for a long time, you had been apart for months at other times, but there was something different about his words this time that made you wonder if he really missed you or if he missed you the way you felt.
"Is that why you snuck into my house as an undercover usurper?"
"See, I've been taking over your family members one by one," he said with mock seriousness as he gave you an exaggerated look. But then the mischievous smile returned to his face, and he took a step closer. "What's the matter with you, aren't you going to confess that you missed me, that you were writhing in agony without my presence?"
"You've been texting me almost every day for the past three weeks, Beomgyu. I don't know how I could have missed you."
Her lips curled into a pout of indignation as she frowned. You noticed that one of his hands was on the railing, inches from yours. "That's really cruel. He was really unhappy."
"Right, how's your diarrhea?"
"Uhmm," he hummed, and from a distance you could tell he was trying to maintain a disinterested expression as he looked away. "I'm a feisty guy, you know? A diet based on soda crackers and oral electrolytes and puf, good as new. Why, are you going to make fun of me? Because let me tell you, you won't make me suffer as much as Yeonjun and Soobin already have."
"Diarrhea teasing is not my strong point."
Beomgyu let out a gasping, feigned sigh and placed his right hand over his heart, his eyes dramatically wide. "Is this empathy real, is it possible you'll come back a little softer?"
You snorted and shook your head. You couldn't remember when last summer had been like this: quiet conversations, laughter, and a silence that seemed somehow comfortable even when tension was building between you. You had forgotten the ease that had always existed between the two of you. You used to hate these months of excessive heat and aimless days, but ever since you met Beomgyu, you begged for every chance to laugh together, no matter the season.
"I'm not going to laugh," you said, lowering your eyes to your hands. You were about to say something else, but the words died in your mouth as he moved even closer, sliding his hand over yours on the railing.
You nearly choked on your own saliva. God, why did you get so nervous, didn't you just talk about diarrhea a few seconds ago?
You said nothing, and neither did he, but you watched his cautious, anxious expression before looking down again at your joined hands with his hand: yours flattened against the light wood, covered by his slender fingers and the soft, delicate pads of his thumbs, almost always rough and calloused from constant use of his guitar. His hand was warm, and you felt your heart flutter as he ran his thumb over the knuckles of your hand. It was a gentle, casual, maybe even innocent gesture, but it felt like a million fireworks on the skin of your hand.
"I... I thought about you while I was away."
He didn't answer, he just turned to look at you, and you couldn't help but feel your heart beat faster when you saw the look on his face. His smile was still there, but it had changed, it had become softer, and you felt like it was the only thing you could hold onto to keep from blurting out the pile of words that had begun to form on the tip of your tongue.
"It's stupid, isn't it?" you added, trying not to notice the butterflies fluttering in your stomach as his fingers brushed harder against yours, as if encouraging you to speak, to spit out the words before they bloated your stomach and turned you into a useless ball of desire and... God, weren't those lips so beautiful? "I've missed you. I've missed you all week."
"All month?" He corrected quietly, and you just rolled your eyes as you tilted your head toward the floor and kicked an invisible rock.
"I guess I miss you every day since I met you."
Even though you saw his smile widen out of the corner of your eye, he didn't respond right away, and that made the knot of apprehension in your chest grow. However, the wave of fear dissipated as soon as it came. His thumb was right on your pulse, probably sensing the way it had quickened for him. His touch was tender, nothing more than the gentle pressure of his thumb against your skin, but you were so mesmerized by the soft gesture that you barely noticed when he took a step closer, his body so close to yours that it was as if you were enveloped in the soft scent of his cologne. It felt like a secret moment, the way that even with your whole family gathered around the grill preparing dinner and the two of you, separated by the noise, just a few feet away, you didn't seem to notice anything but each other's presence.
"Tell me more about it." His voice was lower, softer, sending shivers down your spine.
"You want me to talk about how I missed you?"
He bit his lip as he gave you a mischievous, perhaps very silly smile and... No, it definitely wasn't the smile of someone who wanted to grab your heart and run away, was it? Because, hell, it felt like that.
You forced yourself to look away from his lips. Nothing could make you stupider. Nothing could make you freak out more. You had to avoid them, avoid the madness. But it was in vain, a deluded attempt to escape the traps of your heart, because just as you looked into his eyes, he dropped his gaze to your mouth for a moment, and you were convinced he could feel your pulse fluttering under his thumb. He took another step. Now he was close enough to push your back against the railing, his hand fully clenched over yours, and his eyes lost on your lips, begging you to speak up and do something stupid.
And so you did.
"I... I can tell you how I think of you when I see something funny. Or something frighteningly beautiful. Like those pink sunrises we barely see if we're not lazy and stay in bed till noon. Or two cats curled up on the sidewalk. Not that I want to cuddle with you, mind you... Well, it's not that I don't want to. The point is, cats are cute. Like you."
With a grimace, you paused to take it in and then forced yourself to pretend you hadn't said that. But you were strong, and you didn't let yourself stop, because you had already screwed up, and you knew that if you didn't say those words right then, you could never say them again.
"Today I was surprised to see you with my father, laughing and joking, when my father doesn't laugh with any boy who is related to me. Then I was even more surprised that it felt so intimate, so familiar, so close. I don't know if it was like one of those equations that I know at first glance will make me lose my mind and want to give up life at the slightest attempt to solve it, or one of those formulas that, even unsolved, look like one of the most beautiful in the mathematical world. Yes, I... I just made a metaphor using the words "beautiful" and "mathematical" in the same sentence. Okay, okay, stop laughing. It's just... You laughing with my father, what a disaster. What a disaster to realize that every aspect of my life likes you and what a disaster that every aspect of my life clings to you so much. I think that's why I miss you even when we're close. I don't want there to be any distance between us.
There it was, you said it. Done. Now you could breathe. Now your heart could relax a little, take a blanket and wait for the rainbow or the misfortune. It could go get a bunch of duct tape and Band-Aids or get naked and pole dance around an artery. It could get a funeral box or start believing that it's immortal. And it all depended on the guy in front of you.
Beomgyu's gaze was soft, as soft and gentle as the scenarios that automatically began to form in your head when you saw the mixture of surprise and tenderness that ran through his expression when you finished speaking. He looked down at his hands clasped against yours and exhaled a laugh that came out a little shaky. Then he returned to your gaze and stood there, silently studying you.
"I want to answer you," he whispered, "but I want to make sure I find the right words.
Idiot.
You tried very hard to keep a serene expression on your face, as if your world wasn't hanging by a thread. Then he did something you'd never seen before: he swallowed spit, his gaze sliding down to linger on your lips for a moment before returning to your eyes and swallowing again. "Wait a minute," he said hoarsely.
Without warning, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing against the railing as you struggled to catch your breath.What the hell had that been? You watched as he walked over to the garden table, grabbed a soda, then walked back over to you and leaned against the railing next to you.
He cleared his throat, took a sip, then looked back at you.
"Are you kidding me?" there was a mix of emotions in your voice, amusement, confusion, embarrassment, insecurity, indignation..., the urge to grab the soda can from him and bash his head with it.
Beomgyu blinked, seemingly surprised by your statement, then laughed, his mouth twisting into a smile that felt like a prize.
"What?" he asked, his eyes flashing. You tightened your mouth and he laughed even harder. "I can't believe you just said that!"
"What an asshole," you muttered, nudging his side.
He laughed, but his arms shot out to hold you, just as your nudge knocked him off balance for a moment. His hands wrapped around your arms and he straightened up, but he didn't let go of you or wipe that goofy grin off his face. You struggled to keep up the gesture of annoyance, though it didn't work very well when he pulled you to him.
"I... I'm actually pretty nervous."
His gaze had dropped to your mouth again, and when it came back up to meet your eyes, he bit his lip. His gaze was intense, as if he was struggling to find the right words to say whatever it was he was thinking. He let go of your arms to lean against the railing next to you, keeping his distance so close that your shoulder was trapped between his right arm and his side.
"I want to kiss you, but your dad is right behind me and I'm afraid he'll leave me without a burger," he joked, but his laugh came out too quickly and you realized he was really nervous. His gaze landed on your mouth again and he held it there for what seemed like an eternity before he let out a loud breath and closed his eyes. You were still processing the fact that the words "I want to kiss you" had just come out of his mouth.
"I'm sure you can live without a hamburger, Beomgyu."
His gaze returned to your mouth and your heart skipped a beat as he came even closer. Now he was so close you could feel his breath caressing your lips as he brought his hand to your waist to pull you even closer, and his lips - so soft, so tantalizing, and so agonizingly close to yours - parted and they were about to say something when suddenly your father's voice boomed across the yard.
"Hey, guys," he said in a hoarse voice. "Dinner's almost ready."
The sound of his voice made you jump, and you were surprised at how quickly Beomgyu turned away, taking several steps back and moving as far away from you as possible. His face was red and he held his arms carefully at his sides as your father looked up at the two of you.
"Is everything okay here? You two looked very... lovey-dovey," your father joked, his eyes narrowing as he watched both of your reddened faces and Beomgyu desperately trying to act normal.
"Eh-" Beomgyu opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. He opened and closed his mouth as if he was struggling to come up with an excuse. Your father, who was now smiling broadly, looked from Beomgyu to you and back to Beomgyu, who was still struggling. "Sir, I am in love with your daughter."
His unplanned statement came out in a rush, and your face quickly turned to him, mouth agape. He was also surprised by his own words, his eyes widened even more and he now looked at you in disbelief, his lips parted slightly as he processed what he had said. My goodness...
Your father had dropped the lid of the grill, your mother had stopped making the salad, and your brothers had stopped torturing the dog to look at you and Beomgyu. There was silence; no one moved or said anything. For a moment there was only the humming of the grill and the whisper of an occasional breeze. You were sure that Beomgyu could hear your heart beating in your chest and you were sure that you could hear it when he swallowed spit. He was so red, so shocked, that you thought he would faint right there, or run out first and then pass out in front of your house.
"Gee, well." After a long silence, your father nodded and added, "I'm sure dinner will be a long one."
You wondered if the seriousness in his tone was real.
Beomgyu shivered like a tired old oak leaf. Your mother shook her head, struggling to keep a smile from peeking out of her lips. Your siblings, like you, just stared at him, eyes wide.
Your father broke the second silence by clearing his throat and tapping the lid of the grill.
"I think the burgers are ready."
Before you could find the stability to move towards your family, Beomgyu's hand wrapped around your arm and his eyes, now wide and ridiculously expressive, shouted the words you had been waiting for.
"Listen."
"Yes?"
"I... I... It slipped out of my mouth."
"I know." Oh, God. No. You didn't know. You didn't know anything. You weren't thinking clearly. Your heart had eloped to a party and your brain had followed.
"Your dad likes me, look, it doesn't look like he's going to let me go without a burger."
"Beomgyu, I..."
"Listen," he repeated, and you would have told him to lower his voice if you hadn't seen his determination. "If your father banishes me from your house and I don't survive the heartbreak to tell you, I want you to know that I've been thinking about you all this time, every day, at all hours; especially in the morning, which is why every day starts out well now and is all happy and pretty and cheesy and all that. You're so... so fucking cute and distracting, which is why you saw me with my shirt on backwards the other day, which also explains the toothpaste stain on my sweater; oh! And the different colored socks. I didn't know that... This, that... you know, yeah... Love made people so clumsy and clueless, but now I know that if I get hit by a tricycle going three miles an hour, it will be because I was thinking of you”.
He was still talking, the words coming out of him as fast as the stream of water coming out of the hose one of your brothers was using to wash a sausage he had dropped on the floor. You just stood there, mouth agape, struggling to take in and process all those words.
"And just a moment ago I was so excited, so high, such an idiot for what you said to me, I can't believe I almost left without telling you, because I've been wanting to tell you forever. I don't know if it was those beautiful cheeks that I want to cradle and pull and pinch and bite all the time, or if it was the way your lashes whispered romantic tales and happy endings to me. I... I don't know how you did it, or what seductive trick you used to trap me, but you can take as much from me as you want; I don't know how much I have, only that I was empty until you came”.
Beomgyu finished, paused for a moment, and then smiled and shrugged, such an adorable and nervous and yet ridiculous and funny gesture. "Well, that... that's it."
There was no air in your lungs. Your heart, which had come back drunk, racing and out of breath, was beating so fast that you couldn't think of anything but the deafening sound it was making in your chest. One, two, three minutes passed and you still hadn't regained your mobility. Beomgyu inhaled sharply, shrugged again, and gestured to the table where the rest of your family was already sitting, looking at you, trying to pretend they weren't listening.
"I think they're all waiting for us to eat."
Fortunately, he made the decision for you and took your hand to lead you to the table. You still had your eyes fixed on him and your mouth hanging open as he led you to your seat. You sat down and your trembling legs were grateful, but your hand felt empty, sweaty and scared when it came away from his.
Beomgyu cleared his throat, blushed at the sight of you and murmured, "I'll be back in a minute, okay?" Then he left, mumbling something about going to the bathroom.
Your father looked at you as if he expected you to say something, but he must have seen the embarrassment and confusion on your face, because he then turned to your mother. "Did you understand him? I didn't understand him."
Your mother laughed. "I love that boy, but God, he talks fast."
"He wants to bite her cheeks," said one of your siblings.
"And pinch them." Said the other.
Your father nearly choked on his soda, and you nearly fell out of your chair.
"What? What is he talking about?"
"He wants to bite her!" your younger brother nearly howled with laughter. "He's always talking about biting her cheeks."
"And pinching them."
You covered your face with your hands and grinned like a fool. You didn't mind the dozens of questions your father asked and the teasing of your siblings; you looked at your mother's smile, full of peace, hope, promised laughter and dreams to be fulfilled, and you admitted to yourself that the days with Beomgyu would always carry a load of happiness that was capable of subtracting the importance of everything else.
At the same time, Beomgyu was leaning against the wall and facing the closed bathroom door, trying to sort out his thoughts. As he stood in front of you, the words came out of him so fast that he didn't even have time to realize how hasty and awkward his statement was. He felt exposed, vulnerable, he needed a moment or two or many to recover, but he was undeniably happy.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, thinking of you and laughing for no reason.
"Oh my God..." he murmured. "I'm so fucked up."
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