#its very clear when i stopped caring ab the anatomy

[aliettali]

stupid doodles

[orbitariums]

HEALING | thor odinson + reader

okay so i started writing this in november of 2019 and i really loved where i was going with it but never finished, so i continued it yesterday and finished it just now and here it is!!!

it takes place after the fight with the hulk in sakaar, you’re a healer and you take care of thor with your sisters. but there is something more there, and something that he has to offer you, as well. 

warnings/notes: quick paced!, falling in loooove, thor eats you out & fingers you, intercourse, sooo much talk ab divinity and gods (bc if you’re fucking a god that shit better feel different), empath + healer reader w/ powers, thor is emotionally attached and also hot, reader! is melancholy, descriptions of wounds, kinda cathartic fucking for the both of them, pussy heals, thor doesn’t know the difference between lord & god (but still has a preference n i love him for that)

& tbh i’m rlly proud of this share y’alls thoughts!!

word count: 8.8k

playlist

HEALING | thor odinson

    He was badly injured. Cuts and scrapes adorned his body like broken holiday ornaments, jagged bruises ran along his limbs. On the side of his face there was a gash that ran from the arch of his thick, bushy brows down to his chin, still fresh with blood. All these were injuries that would take eons to heal or leave scars, if you and your sister were regular doctors from planet Earth. Luckily, your healing powers would make for a quick recovery, though he would have to be nursed back to health by the sight of his injuries.

    Your powers, shared with your four sisters, were the strongest. You were the only healers in Sakaar. They needed you. You were there for the end of every brutal battle or fight in the arena, with nectar, elixirs, and herbal remedies that you used on your patients.

    Your fingers tingled with magic, you could run them along any broken bone or scar and the bone would snap back into place, the scar would fade. You were powerful women, with abilities like no other on the planet of Sakaar, as much as the Grandmaster hated to admit it.

     Still, even looking at this man, bulky and fit as he was, you couldn't help but lament the gash running down his face. You would try to relieve it, but it would probably be scarred forever, lest he stay behind and let you mend him to the best of your abilities. Nonetheless, you turned to one of your sisters, Amindi.

    "Pass me the moon water," you said, and she passed you the jug full of sparkling, night blue liquid that had been charged by the powers of the moon, known for its abilities to cure deep cuts and heal internally as well. Holding the heavy jug up with ease, you frowned slightly while looking down at his face. His eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful - not for long. "Gods. This is going to sting."

    You dipped a cloth in the moonwater and let the blue liquid spread, its slightly gooey consistency dripping down the cloth. You leaned forward, your body hovering over the man's face while your sisters tended to his upper body and legs. You had your elbow lying gently on his chest to balance and you were slowly, very tentatively raising your hand with the cloth in it up to his face.

   You felt deep sorrow for some reason — as a healer you hated to see anyone in pain, it was maternal for you — but you felt especially pitiful for this man. Your powers as a healer included being an empath, which was a blessing and a curse at times. Melancholy, masked by anger, coursed through your very veins. This man had lost something, something dire to him. He had lost a few things, and was not able to properly process it. You felt his losses, pitied him.

       Your fingers trembled before you gently placed the cloth on top of his broken skin, and, just as you expected, he woke with a roaring start, pain searing through his body like raw meat against a flame. You flinched at the volume of his yell. He sat up immediately, his heart pounding like he had just been woken from a bad dream. He was clearly in a disarray, confused, and also in pain from the sting of the moonwater against his skin, though the gash it was meant to heal was beginning to close up.

     Your sisters had no idea how to react to this, this confused, angry-looking hulking man in front of them. They all stood at his feet, keeping their distance from him and watching intently with their hands behind their backs. You were still beside him, though you leaned away, your cloth clutched tightly in his hand.

   "Who are you?" he demanded to know. "Where..."

He glanced around the room, your wooden cabin that served as a house for you and your sisters and an infirmary, and groaned, realization setting in on his drooping face.

You blinked, astonished at how he appeared when he was coherent, and stumbled to your feet.

    You said your name, trying to keep your voice steady. He was still a foreigner to you and after what he'd survived you didn't know what he was capable of. You started to walk over mindlessly to your sisters.

    "My sisters. Amindi, Mina, Niva, Zahra. We are healers. We're here to help you." You turned to your sisters to dismiss them. "Go on, I've got him."

They scrambled away with ease, leaving you and this man alone. He was standing up now, though he winced - there was still a black bruise at his stomach, around the curve that led to the inside of his trousers. You looked down at it and grimaced. His eyes followed yours and he furrowed his brows, then looked up as if he was concerned with something else.

    "Sir?" He grunted in response, turning his head to face you, and you tilted your head at him curiously. "Who are you?"

    "Thor, son of Odin," he sighed out deeply through his nose and walked around the room, looking for something.

You could only watch him, trying to hide how your eyes took in his build as he stalked around the room. You watched in amazement at how his muscles flexed when he bent down to pick up his armor vest, and slip it on over his head. You still didn't know who he was, as you knew nothing of Asgard. But despite your intrigue, your face still contorted in concern when you saw him put the vest on over his injuries.

    "Please, you mustn't," you urged him, and you found yourself marching toward him, forgetting his very apparent strength and how you knew nothing about him. "Take that off," you insisted, standing in front of him with your hands on your hips.

It was then that he noticed your beauty, your goddess-like body and the beauty etched into your face, a kind of hereditary, natural beauty that would stretch on for years and be passed down for generations. And now, up close to him, you could see the intense blue of his eyes and the pink color of his full lips. Your eyes met for a moment, and you both held them there. Thor was the first to break away, still frustrated, his voice dark.

    "I'm fine," he huffed.

Your jaw clenched with sudden annoyance - you wanted to make sure he was okay, but he was fighting you already, and gods, you had been taking care of him all afternoon. You reacted too quickly for your brain to slow you down, and you kicked at his waist where the bruise was.

Despite the fact that you couldn't have kicked him that hard, considering your strength versus his, he let out a puff of pain and his eyes shut tight. You folded your arms, your eyebrows raised and lips puckered, eyes narrowed slightly.

    "You're not," you retorted very matter-of-factly.

He glared at you, but was silent. He knew you were right. You reached forward and put your hands around his body, taking off the vest yourself since he wouldn't. You looked down and your eyes dragged up his toned stomach, chest and shoulders until you met his eyes. He was smiling knowingly, and the mischief in his smile showed in those crystal blue eyes of his. You cleared your throat and blinked, looking away as if nothing had happened.

    "I'll need to patch you up first, before you even try to go anywhere," you said, your voice terse as you tried to dismiss what had just happened.

You turned around, gathering the materials you would need, and his eyes followed the back of your body wherever you went.

    "Why are you so concerned?" Thor asked, and you turned over your shoulder to face him, glaring at him,

    "Because it's my job." You paused as you walked towards him. "And more than my job, it's my duty. So stop questioning me and let me do what I do best."

Thor seemed impressed, and raised his brows, a faint smile playing at his lips,

    "My apologies."

You huffed out loudly, already feeling guilty for lashing out at him. Of course he was a little on edge. He clearly wasn't from here and he had probably been through a lot. He had woken up in pain, people he didn't know surrounding him, in a location he wasn't familiar with. You were a person who was inclined to be kind and nurturing, you wanted to make him feel safe. But you had felt so much just by looking at him, so much of his pain— it seemed unfair that you were always feeling another's pain.

    "I'm sorry," you murmured, in front of him now and dropping slowly to your knees so you could be at eye level with his bruise. You unscrewed the cap of an elixir that would hopefully clear up the bruise, and turned the bottle over into your hands, rubbing them together. "It's been a long day. For the both of us, I can imagine."

When you looked up at him, you were surprised to see him staring down at you already, his face hard and eyes steady on you, studying your anatomy and everything about you.

    "It has been. But you are beautiful. That could make up for all the time lost," Thor said, and his voice was unbelievably velvety smooth, his words like music to your ears.

You couldn't fight the smile appearing at the curve of your lips, looking up at him knowingly.

    "Thank you," you said, and you brought your attention back to his injury, massaging the wound with your palms, the elixir still spread on your hands. You let your fingers run across it, your touch making him feel something in his chest, something heavy and light at the same time. You frowned and breathed out loudly. "You are badly hurt. What on Sakaar did you even do?"

You looked up at him again and he sighed out in annoyance.

    "A raging fight," he looked pained to remember it. "I regret to recall it. That hulking beast. I knew him, you know — but he wasn't like before. Scratched me up a bit, he did. Nothing you can't fix, I suppose."

You blinked slowly, looking down at all your materials as you realized what he was talking about. Your eyebrows furrowed as you squinted up at him,

    "You mean Grandmaster's champion?"

Thor rolled his eyes, sickened by that title,

"If by champion, you mean Hulk, yes. To me, he's Dr. Banner. But no, not then he wasn't."

More realization sunk into you, but before you addressed it, you placed your hands, cupped together, over his bruise. Closing your eyes, you channeled your healing energy into his body, and he could see and feel the bruise clearing up as you hovered your hands over him. He felt the wave of purity rush through him and he groaned loudly, making you bite down on your lip as your mind traveled to less pure places. He felt refreshed, as if he had been cleansed entirely.

    "You feel that?" you asked, and he breathed out shakily, his body trembling,

    "Yes, I feel it. Gods... what is this power?"

    "I was born with it," you shrugged, used to the question people asked you and your sisters, in sheer amazement.

You stood up and dusted off your knees, still standing in front of him. For a moment you were both silent, studying each other's faces. Another nurturing instinct went off in you, and you reached up to touch the new scar that ran down his face, running your finger down it. Every time you touched it, it faded, but only a little. It would be there for a long time.

He could feel your energy, pure, holistic and full of light, surge through him every time you touched him. He was looking into your eyes, but you were distracted by the sight of his scar, wanting to heal it completely because the urgency in your mind told you to do so, but you knew you couldn't fully.

When you had finished touching his scar with your gentle, wondering fingers, you caught sight of him staring intently at you, and looked down, clearing your throat.

    "So you're the lord of thunder," you said out loud, and he nodded,

    "Well, god of thunder, but, yes. And king of Asgard," former king, actually, but he said that anyway. How would you be able to know?

You raised an inquisitive brow,

    "What's the difference between lord and god?"

Thor opened his mouth to speak as if he were sure of himself, then you could see the doubt cast in his eyes,

    "I - well, I don't know."

You laughed slightly, and although he was still confused, he laughed too, smiling simply because of the fact that you were smiling and that he had been the reason why.

    "You're funny," you said, smiling to yourself. "How'd you end up here, Thor, God of Thunder?"

He smirked at how his title sounded coming from your sweet lips, and indulged you in his backstory. You sat back, listening to him, and when he was done, you felt like you knew him much better. You felt you could trust him. And the feelings he had caused you had been accurate. He had lost things and people he held closest to his heart, been betrayed. He was thrown onto this planet and into chaos without even getting a word in, and all his hurt had been locked up inside of him.

    "But you are here," he said, looking up at you from where he'd been sitting. "And I like being around you. It's not every day I get to be under the care of someone so beautiful."

You smiled but raised your brows dubiously. He was god of thunder and a king where he was from, or at least from royal blood. How could he not have had his fair share of beautiful women?

    "Really? You don't talk to the women on your planet?" you challenged him, sitting up and smirking.

Thor laughed awkwardly, knowing he'd been called out on his bullshit but still continuing his lie anyway, faltering still under your blazing stare,

    "Well, I have seen quite a few women, yes, and... been with them, of course, but you... are... different."

You laughed loudly, throwing your head back, and though Thor was red as a tomato, he smiled at the sound of your unashamed laughter and the smile he could hear in it.

     "Oh, you're very good at what you do, you must be quite the charmer back at home," you suggested, a sarcastic glint in your voice, eyeing him down with a devilish look in your eyes.

He shifted, trying to ignore how that look in your eyes made him feel, the devilish things it made him think of,

    "How could I not be? But stop avoiding the real topic at hand here, which is you. I hardly know anything about you, except that you're a healer. That can't be all."

You shook your head and folded your arms,

    "I don't even know why we're fraternizing right now, you should be back in the city."

Your cabin with the infirmary attached was on the outskirts of the city. You needed to be surrounded by greenery and secluded in nature for the healing energy you needed. You and your sisters were partially excluded from the main part of the city, mostly voluntarily, and only went into town for materials or to speak with the Grandmaster or his counterparts. But otherwise you lived happily amongst yourself, outside of all the chaos and concrete jungle.

    "I should, though I don't want to. But we've been talking for this long. I'll bet they've hardly noticed how long I've been gone," Thor said, and boy, was he wrong.

So you gave in, because you liked his presence too, his strong and becoming image and how you interacted. You wanted to be around him for as long as you could, as you didn't get to take advantage of many interactions like this. It wasn't everyday that a beautiful man, a god at that, came to you for one thing and ended up staying with you for another. It would do no harm.

So you uncrossed your arms and shrugged widely,

      "You want to know more about me? Follow me, I can show you."

You were outside your cabin with Thor. He took in the lush greenery all around him, all the foreign plants and trees he had never seen before, the way the branches hung low over the rooftops, protecting your house. Nature was a sheath around your home. As you led him around outside, letting him see where you grew your herbs and made medicines, you told him your life story.

    You had grown up in Halcyon with your four sisters, which was a planet not far from Sakaar. But after the war, you were thrown unwillingly onto Sakaar. At first, you and your sisters were all going to be sacrificed.

    "But, Grandmaster spared us all when he saw our healing skills. He let us stay. But we were to stay distant from the city and live amongst ourselves, and work as healers in order to stay on this planet."

    "Why not go back to Halcyon?" Thor asked, engaged in your story. You paused, and Thor could see the hurt and contemplation on your face.

    "Why go back to where there's nothing left?" you swallowed hard, blinking away tears. Halcyon was your home, a home full of nature and love and light. Sakaar was nothing like that. Sakaar was like an eternal disco from hell, that was exactly how it could be explained.

You continued.

    "I've always been an empath. I could feel your pain before you told me your story. I felt I could connect with you, maybe I can. Here, come in," you walked over to the cabin where you all stayed in.

It had many floors and many rooms - it was spacious. You went to the kitchen and put on a cup of tea, which meant boiling hot water and adding herbs to it while Thor watched, sitting at the kitchen table.

You brought his cup and sat in front of him. He took a sip, looking up at you from the brim of the cup the whole time, like he wanted to say something. So when he put the cup down, he did.

    "We could leave here, together," he said, his voice and eyes dead serious.

You choked on your tea,

    "What?"

    "We'll go to Asgard. I'll have to fight off my demon sister, but you can help heal those who she wounded. Your sisters too, bring them. We'll escape this place."

    "That's a terrible idea," you laughed nervously, miffed.

     "What's so terrible about it?" asked Thor, miffed. He seemed like he truly and desperately wanted to go through with this idea. "You won't be back on Halcyon but you'll be out of here, and so will I. It doesn't get better than that."

     "Thor, I couldn't just... just leave. Neither could you, you've got that— that thing on your neck," you huffed, standing up from the table and beginning to walk back and forth, packing.

You were contemplating your whole life now. You were a level headed person, but that was just the problem. Too often, you accepted things as they were. The idea of change seemed radical although it was what you wanted, and you weren't committing a crime against your morals. It just seemed ludicrous and you were sure it wouldn't work. But Thor wasn't letting you off that easy. He jumped to his feet as well, and followed you, cutting in front of you and stopping your pacing as he talked over you.

      "No no, listen to me, YN," there was a sure fire in his voice. He was confident in himself, and you figured he probably always was too confident, because this was stupid. "This is what you want, this is what you deserve. Why are you so against that?"

You were breathing heavily in and out, and Thor put his strong hands over yours, holding them in the small space between you and him.

      "I..." your eyes darted from his lips to his eyes, and you couldn't decide where to place them.

     "Hmm?" Thor hummed, raising his brows up at you and looking down at you.

     He was towering tall above you and the proximity of your bodies was making you dizzy, as well as the natural, pleasant fragrance he had. He was warm, and he was strong and big, overwhelming your senses. He had a look in his eyes that was caring and genuine, but you knew he knew what he was doing, cornering you like this. He pushed strands of your hair behind your ear, the slight touch of his fingers against your skin electrifying you. Definitely God of Thunder.

      He leaned in and before you knew it, you were too, your head tilting and your lips meeting his in a divine fit. Your lips tasted like sweet honey and tea, and his tasted like war, metallic blood from his fights, and the herbs in the tea you had made. He kissed you gently, placing his hands on the side of your face while you let yours wrap around his waist, taking it all in.

     Your brain was lost in the fuzz of the moment and your thoughts seemed to have sludged away like mush. You were leaning so far into the kiss that you nearly stumbled when he pulled back, the sound of your lips pulling away could be heard in the quiet house. Your sisters were elsewhere, all that mattered was you and him.

      "You can't just do that," you muttered, though you didn't care, and your eyelids were lowered, your eyes glued to his wet lips.

It wasn't often you kissed your patients - it was more like never, in fact. It wasn't on your agenda. But with Thor, it felt so undoubtedly right, like you'd be stupid to even question it.

He refrained from smiling, his voice quiet and his eyes scanning your transfixed face.

    "Should I do it again?"

You barely nodded before your hands slid up to his shoulders and gripped, feeling the whole of his muscle, leaning in further and letting his lips take over. His tongue whispered secrets into your mouth and you could feel your lashes brush against his cheek. He let his hands travel down your sides and your waist, squeezing at the curves of your body and wanting to feel all of you. Your energies were merging with each other, the heat rising between the two of you, the both of you getting the other more excited.

Thor lit a fire in you - his divinity shone a fiery light inside of you, the kind that hadn't been lit in far too long. You felt drunk with power and your want for him, your hands hanging lazily around his neck as he picked you up by your thighs and walked over to the counter, your lips still attached.

      And you ignited passion in Thor, made him feel whole enough to truly see with his own two eyes, to find a way out of this place he considered cursed, to go back to Asgard. He felt pure and cleansed, like all the bad energy had been swiped away by your touch, by your plump lips against his. He ran his tongue absentmindedly, but with every intention, along your bottom lip, making you sigh out in pleasure like you had never known before.

He was turning on every sense in you to a hundred and ten just by kissing you, and while you thought of taking further actions, you couldn't imagine what that might do to you.

     He set you down on the kitchen counter and you breathed out loudly and shakily as he put you down, your legs long but your feet only gently brushing the floor. He gave you no breaks, his lips immediately moving to your neck and leaving chaste kisses, lips fluttering against your skin like a butterfly. He sucked on your sweet spot beneath your ear, his heightened senses telling him that was exactly what he needed to do. You hardly knew you had a sweet spot, Thor found that out about you before you did yourself — since you started living in Sakaar, you hadn't had much experience. Even if you had, you know it could be nothing like this. This was godly, this was something mortal men and even most otherworldly men could never satisfy, a sweet spot aching to be satiated.

    "It's what you want," Thor repeated what he had said what seemed like so long ago, and you nodded slowly, hardly contemplating what he was actually talking about- but your initial panic didn't matter anymore.

      He had convinced you, oh how he had convinced you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, but in tongues only you and him understood.

He left love marks on your skin that would take weeks to heal — you didn't bother healing them yourself afterwards, you liked looking at them in the mirror or knowing they were on your neck, whether or not others could see them. Your neck rolled back as he kissed the spot between your breasts, lifting your shirt up and throwing it on the floor next to the two of you.

      "It's what I want," you repeated mindlessly to yourself; letting his mouth take over your body.

His lips led down to your waist and he looked up at you, the sight of his cold blue eyes sending your soul soaring, your stomach already bubbling with that faithful feeling. He easily untied your pants and watched as they fell to a pool on the floor beneath you, and pulled your underwear down as well, placing his hands on your back and pulling you in towards him as you sat on the kitchen counter, completely bare in front of him and completely aware of yourself, more than you had been in a while.

He left sloppy kisses trailing along your inner thigh, all while making the most intense eye contact with you, matching energies. You weren't nervous or scared, but you were excited and you felt like you had just as much rule as he did in this moment, that was how you balanced each other out. The both of you were strong entities who commanded respect, and in this moment it showed.

Thor wasn't a big teaser. He wasted no time making you feel good, making you cry out when you felt his tongue dive inside of you, his hands set on your thighs and his tongue penetrating you with no limit as to how far inside of you he went. He seemed to reach your very core, making your legs squirm around his head. He took it all in with very welcoming arms, lapping away at your slick. You were incredibly wet with arousal and Thor kitten licked away at your throbbing heat like it was his job to get it all up. You sighed immediately, pulling up his tunic - he assisted you, pulling it off completely and doing away with it, throwing it onto the floor. His back muscles flexed as he dove into you.

     He was relishing the taste of you. He noted how sweet and bitter your arousal tasted, the flavor a juxtaposition that applied to your very personality. There were parts of you that were logical, unexplored territory, stubborn - bitter and earthy, and there were other parts of you that were curious, unexplored, the parts of you that Thor was bringing out with every last touch. Those parts were sweet and giving. Stirred by the pure carnal nature of these activities - his knees nearly on the floor, your feet swaying by his sides, his head inbetween your legs - he moaned, the vibrations reverberating up your core, sending you into an electric frenzy. A guttural groan left your throat as you squeezed around nothing as a reaction.

Thor noticed, and he sighed out, his eyes slackening with lustful desire. He pulled his tongue away from your pussy and replaced it with two fingers at your sensitive entrance, which was glimmering with obvious pleasure. He toyed with the fleshy parts of you, glaring up at you with those darkened eyes. Somehow, with your legs around his head, even as they closed in, he felt safe. Felt like as long as he was between your legs he was healed - as long as his face was buried in your clit, magic would emanate from your core and soothe him in every sense of the word. The chemistry between the two of you was undeniable. He knew what you needed without guidance, and you knew how to heal him.

    The both of you moaned in unison when he eased his fingers inside of you, two thick fingers with bruises that seemed to disappear as soon as they came in contact with your wetness. You clenched immediately around his fingers, your body adjusting to the feeling of penetration, which you hadn't received for so long. A pleased huff of a laugh left his lips, his eyes smiling as he dove back down, lips suckling at your clit with just the right amount of pleasure. And he assumed slow, deep thrusting motions of his fingers inside of you while his lips were attached to the bundle of nerves. The pleasure was so gratifying, so much that you forgot yourself for a moment, your hand flinging to the back of his head.

    Surprised by yourself and your actions, you gasped, flinging your hand back away. But Thor noticed the absence of your hand at the back of his head, the absence of the pleasure he gained from knowing you were pleasured, and he grunted. His unoccupied hand grasped yours and he led it back to the back of your head, telling you without words to domineer him as you deemed fit. The erotic nature of the moment made you lose yourself again, pushing his head closer as you leaned your head back, moaning louder, without inhibitions.

      "Gods, Thor, that's it," you whimpered, allowing yourself permission to speak, allowing how turned on you were to seep irreversibly through your trembling voice.

     You weren't embarrassed, weren't afraid. With him it felt so natural, and you knew he encouraged you to fully feel everything he gave to you, not to restrict yourself. His words echoed in your jumbled mind: it's what you want. Gods, was he right. He responded with a groan, following through with the same motions, letting you have the next few moments for yourself as you squealed and squeaked and whimpered. Even as he repeated the motions, the sensations felt brand new every time, like he still had more of you to explore. And who could forget the free hand that operated either at your inner thigh or at your exposed nipple, tweaking it and rolling it around his fingers?

    Now he retracted his fingers, but it didn't take long for him to shove his tongue right back inside you, thrusting inside of you and seeming to reach your very core like the first time. Those shocks of electricity were back, surging through you, from your throbbing slit, striking up your stomach, and up your throat, coming out of you in pleasured shudders and stuttering groans. He didn't cease his hard and heavy breathes, making sure you could feel the warmth of his breath against your pussy. 

     His fingers didn't ignore your clit - his tongue firmly pumping in and out of you, he kept his thumb applying well-pressured, slow circles at your clit while the other hand ran up and down the top of your thigh. The hand that wasn't at his head overlapped his own hand on top of your thigh, following the slow up and down caresses he was making. It didn't take much longer of this for your toes to curl, your eyes shut tight as you rocked absentmindedly into his face, your core enveloping him the same way he was devouring your pussy.

      "Fuck! Thor, I'm-" your fingers curled tightly around his hair, your body lifting off of the counter, legs wrapping loosely around his back as you came with a howling cry, in disbelief of yourself and the sublime ecstasy that seemed to surround you as you came at his tongue, his fingers.

The vision you saw behind your closed eyes was like a flash of black and white, then a kaleidoscope of celestial colors, pale blues and whites that reminded you of a thunderstorm. You must have blacked out for a second while seeing these things, because your grip on his hair was so strong. This was like no pleasure any one else could bring you - this was the stuff of gods and nothing less. There had never been a better feeling than the one that came washing over you in this very moment, cumming around the eager tongue of a lost god, who would stay put between your legs, lapping up everything that you let out until your legs stopped shaking. 

     Even as you rode out your orgasm, it was never ending, his tongue kitten licking your juices, his eyes closed as he let you enjoy this moment to its full extent. He just knew your body like it was some hidden talent - just one of the perks of being a god of fertility, but even then he knew you in a special sense. You healed him- he healed you.      

    You didn't even notice when Thor came back up, standing up and standing inbetween your legs. His hand lay on the back of your head, which was still rolling back, to support your neck. He brought your head forward so you could face him, and you opened your eyes, having to blink away the orgasmic blur so you could see him clearly. His eyes bore into yours and you looked right into his eyes, one crystal blue and one hazel green, with no fears or anxieties. Your eyes found home in his eyes; his fingers and tongue found home inside you, and wanted to be inside you again. But not the same way.

      He couldn't help himself, pressing his forehead against yours and deliberately entering two fingers inside of you again just to feel you pulsating around him from your sensitivity, coaxing out just about anything you had left. Just to feel how wet you were again, to hear the squelching sounds of his fingers intruding your wetness. You weren't expecting his fingers back so soon, but they felt extraordinary inside of you, stretching you out and plunging inside of you so easily. His eyes never left yours, and you maintained eye contact with him as well.

    "I need to get you ready for me," he breathed, his voice low and dangerous, fingers bottoming out inside of you, making you lurch forward and bite down on your lip.

    By the feeling of his hard erection against your leg, no amount of fingering could get you "ready." The size of him wasn't necessarily something you adjusted to, but the pleasure was inexplicably divine. And at this point, you were just going with the flow - you weren't in charge of the schedule and you didn't want to be either. You didn't want the pleasure to stop, not now that he'd introduced it to you, ridding your mind of the idea that giving in to what you wanted was somehow taboo. If it meant you'd be getting this, you'd give in without resistance.

    "I'm not sure any amount of stretching me out will get me ready, love," you smiled, though weakly - you had hardly recovered from your first orgasm and already here he was, fingering you mindlessly and talking about how he would be taking you.

     "Mhm," he hummed, the hint of a smile tugging at his lips. "No matter. I couldn't stand not being inside you, in some way."

     You hummed in response as you leaned forward, mouths and lips pressing against each other yet again in harmonious synchronicity. You led each other, heads turning this way and that as you explored each others mouths and tongues. You tasted yourself on Thor's lips, to which you blushed. He pulled away only slightly, forehead flush with yours, fingers still digging deep inside of you, and asked you in his low, husky voice,

     "Does it please you to taste yourself on my lips? To know what pleasure it brought me? What it brought you?"

    "Yes," you sighed, yearning to taste more.

    He understood your request and his fingers slid out from you, leaving you throbbing around nothing once more, and his fingers toyed at your wet lips until you opened, your tongue savoring your own taste. The act was so overwhelmingly erotic, your lips swiveling around two of his coated fingers as you looked him in the eye, the taste of you fresh on your own tongue, eyes squinted in needy pleasure.

    "Come," Thor beckoned you, picking you up so your legs wrapped easily around his waist, feeling your hot arousal sticky against his muscular stomach. You blushed at the feeling of his skin in contact with your wet pussy, knowing he had to be feeling it, too. But he enjoyed it without shame, and as a result, so did you. "Your quarters. Take me to them."

    You whimpered, whispering the directions to him as he traveled about the empty house, then into your own room. He didn't bother to close the door, just settled you onto the bed, your back against the linen sheets which you made every single morning without fail. Just once you wished to wake up, and not make your bed. You sighed gently as he placed you onto the bed, his entire body hovering over you and covering you. You felt enveloped in the dark shadow his body cast over you - in that darkness you found so much erratic light that filled your whole body and swelled you. He felt it too, radiating off of you. Bouncing off of each other without even being prompted.

    "Need you," he moaned raggedly, head immediately turning down to kiss your neck, burying his face in the warm crook there.

    His lips dragged against the sweet skin at the crook of your neck, and you moaned, back arching off your bed. Every inch of pleasure you felt, he allowed whole heartedly, never quieting you or shutting you down. His tongue found an intimate spot there and he lapped gently at your skin as if it were your pussy, groaning directly into your ear,

      "Need my cock inside of you. Where I belong."

His words, and the feeling of his breath against your sensitive skin, raised a shiver down your spine. You clutched onto his shoulder, hand and fingers trailing absentmindedly down his back, thus healing any pains or aches that resided there from the damage of the fight. He let out a stuttering moan at the unintentional magic of you flowing through him, at the feeling of uninhibited healing surging through him yet again.

     "Is it true that you need me?" you whispered into his ear, and he pulled away so he could look down at your face, his desirous, somehow still innocent eyes searching yours.

    He nodded,

    "Truer than anything I've ever known."

     Your fingers traced along the side of his face, running through his hair and along his jawline, dipping beneath his chin. You knew your power fully, how you could seduce him, leave him aching for more. You were aware of your divinity, just as you were aware of his own.

      "Prove it," you told him, lips brushing just against his.

He breathed in deeply, a need panging so deep in his chest he found that he would have to wreck you ever so carefully to satisfy it. Deftly, he guided his cock out, holding it firm in his big hand.

     "As you wish," he grunted, and with a simple push, he was inside of you.

Nothing had felt like this before. Nothing could ever feel like this before. The feeling of immediate fullness. The feeling of being so full that you would never need anything more. Thor filled you up with no trouble. Stretching you out was an understatement - he expanded everything inside of you, in every sense of the word. You swore your heart even swelled in that moment, this intense feeling of tenderness that only comes about during the kind of godly lovemaking you were partaking in.

     You jolted upwards, lurching forward as his cock entered you, not ever really adjusting to the surge of light that soared through you as he coaxed himself in with ease. Your body had never felt this way before, so heavenly. To be in such close contact with a god, closer than anyone could ask for - it seemed to grant you powers beyond your imagination. It was like you were being taken to another dimension, just by the feeling of his cock entering you. And as for Thor, never had a woman fit him so well. Never had he felt such a strong sensation of gratification inside a woman, no pleasure allotted like the one he found with you. He refused to pause to take it in, though - he wanted more and more the further he slid inside of you. And it didn't take long to fit all of him inside of you, you were so wet, he slipped in easily.

     "Mhm," your moan came out constricted from your throat, and only then did Thor pause to make sure you were okay, noting the way your eyes were shut tight and your fingers were grasping at the bedsheets around you.

    "Is it-" you didn't allow him to finish speaking, interrupted him with a full moan this time, rocking your hips down until you could take no more of him, and answered,

      "Gods, it's heavenly. Do not stop."

He chuckled at your assertiveness, the way your hand squeezed around his muscly arm as a way of reassuring him.

    "Good, you're alright," he clarified, and pushed in further, his forehead hanging against yours. He panted, lips falling open.

      It was silent except for the sound of both your heavy breaths as he pushed in and out of you, you adjusting to his size and width. As you expected, it wasn't really something to get used to, but that outweighed the immense enjoyment that his cock inside of you brought. His lips were all over you, sometimes mashed against yours in an open mouthed, hot and disconnected kiss, sometimes lolling against the sweet spot at your neck, sometimes further down, attached to your nipple as he curved his angle inside of you. But wherever his lips were, the pleasure was not diminished, and the most obvious sensation was that of him inside of you.

     "Taking me so well, aren't you, Healer?" he called you by your title, as if it held more nobility than it did.

    On Sakaar, your skills weren't appreciated the way they should've been - the way they would've been on Halcyon. It was part of the reason you just assumed the things you wanted should be ignored. But in Thor's mind, the title of a Healer was incredibly noble. Your touch dissolved wounds, and not just at the surface. It was an ability he took seriously. He held you in high regards.

   You replied with a mangled groan, eyes closed as he thrusted in and out of you, deep and slow.

    "Thor," you moaned his name, and his hips stuttered only slightly at the sound of his name leaving your lips. Then he began snapping into you more rhythmically, abandoning the gentle, slow pace he'd adopted so you could "adjust" at first. He was beginning to fuck you now, and you cried out at the realization.

     "Healer, you were made for this," he decided, loving how deliciously his cock twisted inside of you, how he hardly had to control his movements because you took him so well. 

No needing to go slow. No needing to hold back. Just pure, unbridled fucking. You seemed to fit him like a glove, like your pussy was designed for him. Soon enough he could hear the sounds of your slick and arousal each time he entered you, and that turned him on so much that he fucked you faster, harder. The rhythm of his hips swiveling and snapping against your inner thighs, the careful thumb he kept at your clit, was enough to have you lifting your legs up and wrapping them around his waist, keeping him there like a cocoon.

He felt so deep inside you, so fulfilling that you couldn't help the words that stumbled out of your mouth as you approached your orgasm,

    "By gods you are king."

His head snapped up and he grunted primitively, taking your hands in his and pinning your arms out behind your head, pressing his body all the way against yours so you could feel all of him, so that you could feel him so deep it made your head spin. His hips rolled so criminally into you, incoherent sounds and words leaving your mouth as he just fucked into you without a care, bringing you to climax one, then two times as he kept fucking you this way. He followed through with this until he came, twice inside of you. If you felt filled before, you definitely felt it now, his seed spurting inside of you as if it should've been there all along. And as if by divine intervention, you came another time, this time in unison with him as his last load left him.

He was lazy, didn't quite yet want to leave you, didn't want to relinquish the feeling he got being inside you. He was drunk on it. Even when he came he didn't retire the slow, sloppy movements of his hips, his load of cum gushing out of you while he continued. He groaned so loudly into your ear you thought it would ring the next day.

    He stayed inside of you like that for a while, still and motionless, and lay on top of you, your bodies flush against one anothers. Your sweat felt like ambrosia, and you found yourself licking the droplets of sweat that appeared on your lips and the crooks of his shoulders. He kept his cock buried inside of you, kissing sweetly at your lips once in a while. And when he finally left you, his lips still didn't stop kissing every part of you. He left the room briefly, your eyes watching as his naked body walked out of your room, and he came back with a damp rag, gently wiping down every part of your body. You wanted to do the same for him, but he refused, and did it himself, telling you to rest.

    And you needed it. The relief was so great that you could hardly move. Your body seemed to stick. Your head was swarming with cosmic thoughts - but no worries. Just pure relief and bliss- something you had brought upon one another. It was mutualistic, the way you empowered one another, the way that you healed one another.

    After cleaning himself off, Thor sat you up against the pillow and dressed you quietly and calmly. Even his light touches felt orgasmic against your skin, and that didn't necessarily mean sexually. You felt some form of bliss just upon looking at him. This sense of knowing, that even being an empath couldn't give you. You were made for him, just as he was made for you. Your meeting was a flicker of fate. There would be more to come.

    You lay together in the hazy sun, admiring each other, arms and legs still intertwined.

     "Let's take a bath together. It's big enough for the both of us," you suggested, and he nodded with a smile, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

    "Anything for you my love," he replied.

    "Then let's leave. With my sisters. Let us leave Sakaar, and fight for your Asgard."

Nothing you said had ever felt so right. After all, it was what you wanted.

[sabraeal]

#51 sounds really cute! :D

#51: things you said as we danced in our socks

Set a few weeks before graduation

Wide Florida Bay | Previous

Horns rattle from the tinny speaker, and thebriefest bass guitar, before abruptly cutting off. Shirayuki frowns as shescoops up her phone, flicking the screen on – that clip is so unsatisfying, she reallyneeds to fix it –

r u done?im doneim dooooooonnnnne

She glances up from the mixer whirring away, catching the bookbagslumped against the wall of the vestibule, abandoned the moment she walkedthrough the door.

I just got backObi still has one more though

ugh ofctell him hes an overachiever and he should b ashamed

(He’s been sitting like that for almost fifteen minute,pointer hovering over Add Class, hisdesignated selection time bleeding out, only fifteen more before the juniorsgets to start picking their classes too –

“I shouldn’t bother,” he says, toneless. “You have to applyfor it.”

She tucks into his side, laying her head on his shoulder. “Sodoes everyone else. You have just as good a chance as anyone.”

“You’re not doing it.”

She blinks, tilting her head up. “I’m not the one interestedin informatics.”

“It’ll be over my credit load,” he tries instead. “I’d need permissionfrom the dean –”

She tweaks his elbow, just hard enough to make him squirm. “Good thinghe’ll be your graduate advisor.”

It takes a bit for him to blush – or at least for her to see it – but there’s pink just under bronze on his ears, and that’s enough. “That’s not – that’sonly if Admissions all goes temporarily batshit and lets me in.”

His chest shakes, breath coming quick, and she slides her hand down,covering his. “You should do it,” she says, studiedly casual. “What’s the worstthat can happen? They say no?”

His breath steadies, but not easily. “Right. Yeah.”

The click is less than a second. “Fuck ‘em, right?”)

i don’t think i’ll tell him that

FINELAMEsuzus been done since yesterday bcuz hes a slackerwhen obi is done we should celebratelike unreal amts of booze celebrate

It’s – it’s not that her heart pounds, it’s just – quiet,now that the mixer is off. Everything is more – noticeable. Now that she – she’s –

She’s thinking about the last time they got drunk at Yuzuri’sbehest, looming over them as she poured more and more shots, tellingthem it’s a celebration, everyone has todrink –

– I don’t think you’dbe so hard to figure out, darlin’. Obi’s drawl is liquid in her memory,pouring over her like honey. Just have toknow where to touch –

uh sureI guess?

u guess?is there some sort of problem?

She thinks of Obi, chest heaving,slack-jawed, eyes wide – if I capsize inyour thighs, high tide – of what he’dlook like with swollen lips, panting down her body, spreading her legs –

Ugh. She shakes her head. Thewhole thing is just – just – a pop-up she can’t shake, an ad that keepsplaying over her day at odd intervals, only instead of it being for somethinglike experimental allergy medication or Cialis, it’s for Obi, like she suddenly needs to be reminded every few minutes thathe’s attractive and also experienced, like maybe she should consider –

no!everything is fine!

It will pass. It always does.

…whatever the ideas r percolating ill let u know what we decide but like def booze

This isn’t – it isn’t a problem. Everything is fine – very fine, the most fine.

All her papers are written, revised, and already sitting in drop-boxes, her only final is a multiple choice test about European History, most of which she learned just from living with Kiki for a year. If anything, she is set, living her best life –

“God.”

Her whole body flushes, toe-tip to hairline, and she’s so busy trying not to think of skin under her lips, of hearing that in an entirely new context, that she nearly misses the slam of the door.

Obi tilts a long-suffering look toward her as he leans against the wall, toeing his shoes into the tray. “I’m glad that’s fucking done.”

There isn’t a problem, because whatever this is, it’s just a phase. Something that will definitely pass.

It just never takes this long.

“Did your test go well?” she asks, clearing her throat, like it might expel the images her mind is supplying as he saunters around the corner, shirt already pulling up taut torso, sun-bronzed abs on display.

“Hope so,” he sighs, balling his T-shirt up in his hand. “Otherwise Lata’s going to give me a few more of these for putting off our action plan.”

It takes her a whole minute to realize what he’s pointing at, to see the thick silver sprawl of scars across his back and not the way his muscles ripple beneath the skin, the way his shoulder blades make his whole back look like an anatomy model.

She frowns. “Professor Forenzo would never –”

“I know, I know,” he says, waving a hand at her as he crosses into his room. “Gimme a minute, I gotta get out of these clothes. It’s killer out there.”

“Right,” she replies, faint, definitely not noticing the way his hands settle on his waistband, definitely not thinking about his skin shining with sweat –

She doesn’t have a problem, it’s just – just that she hasn’t figured out a way to get him back, to close out this prank so she can – can stop thinking about that stupid song, and capsizing on thighs and what it might feel like if he –

plans decidedwe gonna go C L U B B I N G

Shirayuki’s teeth grit down, her hands bracing against the counter. This is fine. They’ve gone before, a nice little place above a bar in downtown Wilant; it’d been all 80s songs and they’d all had a little more than they’d bargain for, and Obi –

– you’re a squeezing hips, neck-kissing girl, aren’t you, darlin’? –

Ah, maybe she…shouldn’t think about that. He didn’t even remember it in the morning.

“You all right, Doc?”

She jolts, watching Obi settle on the couch, bare feet kicked up on the coffee table, arms sprawled out over the back, remote in hand. Her hands tighten on the counter, trying to ground herself, trying not to have her knees go weak as she traces the delicate bones in his feet, the strain of his t-shirt over his biceps –

if obi gives u shit tell him its obligatorythis is the price of fucking friendship okay

“You might not want to get too c-comfortable,” she stammers, stacking cookies, trying to look like she’s doing something in the kitchen, and not just – ogling him. “Yuzuri says we need to go out and celebrate.”

His head turns toward her, just slightly. “Celebrate what?”

“Being done with, you know…school.” It sounds weak, even to her own ears, and the grunt that comes from him tells her he agrees.

“We’re all going to grad school,” he huffs out. “We’re not going to be done with school for the next decade, if Lata has anything to say about it.”

“Well, it’s the end of undergrad,” she presses, feeling flushed. “And the end of our thesis work –”

“And just what is this version of celebrating going to entail?” he asks with a sigh. “I already have my sweat pants on.”

I’ve noticed is not the right thing to say. Neither is dumbly standing there, thinking how good he makes them look. “Yuzuri says we’re going clubbing.”

“Oh, no,” he says, firm. “No. I don’t dance.”

“She wants me to tell you it’s a non-optional social convention.”

“Is that how she’s getting Suzu to go?”

“Probably.” Her shoulders twitch in a shrug. “You know how she feels about this sort of thing.”

His eyebrows lift. “That there’s no better way to celebrated scientific achievement than to get trashed and grind on strangers?”

“Yes.” Not quit how she would have put it. “That.”

His look turns incredulous. “And you went for that?”

“It’s what she wants to do,” Shirayuki insists, because – because it’s not like she cares. It’s not like she’s thinking about the way he was dancing with anyone who showed interest the last time, wondering if he might –“She’s been here longer. Maybe this is the best way to celebrate. When in Rome, you know?”

“That is the exactopposite of an attitude you should have in Florida. Never do what people inFlorida do.” He rolls his head along the back of the couch to give her a flatlook. “It’s like you’ve never seenthe internet.”

She returns itwith a look of equal flatness. “We made it so the Olin maris can be bred in captivity. We’ve saved an entire species.We can spend one night doing what Yuzuri wants to do.”

“Yuzuri wants toget sloppy drunk and see if she can get Suzu to breed in captivity.”

“And we should support that.” She sighs at his incredulous look, padding out to put the plate of cookies in front of him. “Besides, I’ve seen you dance. You seemed – fine.”

That is definitely a word. That she can use. Safely.

“We danced at a gala,” he protests, “I wore a suit. Youstepped on my feet. That is not this. This is – swampy club dancing. It’s acircle of hell, not an activity.”

She refrains from mentioning the other time; she doesn’t think he’d appreciate remembering just how good he dances drunk to Come On Eileen, no matter how impressive it was.

“I think you just need to get excited.” She’s too used to his stare to shrivel under it. “You know, uh – get pumped.”

“Are you evenplanning on drinking?”

She grimaces.“No.”

“That is such awaste, you can’t even drive.”

She frowns. “Ihave my license now.”

He gives her apointed look. “You can’t even drive.”

She stares at himfor what must be a full minute before it hits her, grin breaking out across her face. “I have just thething to get you in the mood.”

“Aw, c’mon,” hemoans as she pulls him upright. “I’ve got so many Cutthroat Kitchens to watch. On this one, theycook spaghetti and meatballs and someone takes some lady’s garlic.”

“Look, you alreadyknow what happens!” She grins at him. “So now you can do my thing instead.”

He grimaces when she pulls out her phone, when he sees her bring up her music library, pleading, “No, don’t –”

“Why do you build me up –”

“I’m honestly concerned,” he mumbles over the tinny piano. “Do you know what kind of music they play in clubs?”

“–Buttercup, baby–”

“This is to pump you up!” she tells him, trying to guide him into a bobbing two-step, one he follows with the enthusiasm of a man walking to the gallows. “Get your blood flowing!”

“Oh my god,” he sighs. “Of course. This is your pump up music. Motown.”

“It’s uplifting.”

“You listen to Angel of the Morning when you get up, don’t you?”

Her mouth pulls thin. “That’s not Motown –”

“That’s not a no.”

“See,” she tries instead, “you’re getting more lively already!”

There’s a flash of teeth behind his lips, but he hides it in his shoulder. “Whatever, the song is ending. How about you put on an actual club song?”

Her finger hovers over her screen.

“This decade.”

“Fine,” she sighs, scrolling past her collection of 80s music. “I can do that.”

“Uh-huh, I’m–”

“Shawty had those Apple Bottom Jeans, boots with the fur –”

He stares. “All right, I’m concerned you don’t know what year it is.”

“They still play this!” she insists, starting to bop to the beat. “It’s on plenty of club mixes.”

“All right,” he sighs, taking her hands. “This is physically painful, Doc. No one dances like that at a club.”

“Plenty of people do,” she insists, leaving out that most of her club experience is seeing them on CSI reruns. She’s got a feeling he already knows.

“Come here,” he guides her closer, until their hips are almost touching. “Let me just – show you. End the embarrassment.”

“I’m not –” Embarrassing gets swallowed along with her tongue, because his hand hooks over her hips, her own right beneath, guiding her into a slower swing that barely involves feet moving at all. He’s not – not touching her anywhere else, but he’s so close he might as well be, and she’s just – aware. Of all of him.

He smells nice.

“Oh is this – grinding?” she squeaks. “I’ve heard about that before –”

“No.” His voice is entirely too deep. “This would be grinding.”

His hands tug on her, yanking her forward until his knee is between her legs, until every shift on her body brings her right down on his thigh and –

Oh, that is – that’s not –

Okay, maybe this is a problem.

“Oh,” she breathes, jolting away, right back into the wall. That should be it, end of moment, but she – she doesn’t let go of his hands, and then he’s crashing into her, just catching himself on the wall, her hands still twined in his –

“Sorry.” He swallows; she’s so close she can hear it. She can see it too, and the way his eyes are all dark, mostly pupil with a thin rim of gold. His leg is still between hers, and her hands press up by her shoulder, and he’s just – so, so tall –

If he’d just bend down a little, maybe she could –

“Eep!” she yelps, pocket buzzing. “That’s just – I think Yuzuri –”

“Oh,” he breathes, pulling back. “Right. Her clubbing thing.”

r u guys gonna be ready soon?i wanna b drinking already

Obi’s already wandered away, back to the couch, and she –

i think our night is already spoken forobi wants to stay inbut let’s do breakfast tomorrow

boobut i get to pick the place

[richietoaster]

Head cannon that Richie would go into the medical field because he wants to make sure he can take care of Eddie

WRITTEN BY @tastes-like-cherry-cokeI’m Never Going to Watch You Die.

When Eddie Kaspbrak was 14 years old, the small town of Derry called a weather emergency in late January, the cold was at a recording breaking low and, as usual, the Losers would, at their own pace, be meeting at Big Bills. For them, cancelled school was an automatic term calling for the scattered six to make their way to the Denbrough household. It was an unspoken agreement.

The windows of the town were decorated with pristine white cracks and the road was covered in black ice, the surrounding world was hauntingly beautiful. The snow wasn’t deep but the air had a menacing bite to it that had turned Richie Tozier’s lips a sickening shade of blue that Eddie, suddenly, absolutely loathed. Walking beside the taller boy, curls bouncing in his face as his glasses fogged up, the sudden thought that the next time he’d ever see Richie’s lips that blue is if he were dead slipped into his mind like a fog and struck him to his very core.At first he didn’t feel it, but after a few moments it became clear to him that his chest had tightened, his heart had sped up and he couldn’t get enough oxygen into his closed lungs. The sharp pains flooding through his body caused him to reach out with a gloved hand, almost like a man drowning, and drag Richie down with him as he fell backwards into a pile of soft snow.His ears were ringing and the freckled boy above him was in a panic. His curls were bouncing as he frantically moved his skinny hands along the smaller boys hips in search of the small blue tube filled with antibiotics, Eddie’s peripheral vision had already started to blacken when Richie finally brought the inhaler to Eddie’s white lips. As Eddie laid in the snow, which felt as though it was turning to ice around him, he felt his breath coming back to him, filling his blood and travelling throughout his small body. Above him Richie released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, his eyes fluttered shut and his eyebrows knit together. “Jesus Christ,” he whispered, his words coming out as white clouds in the air and disappearing forever.

It was two years before Eddie spoke to anyone about that snowy morning. “Did you guys know Richie saved my life?” Eddie had yelled, his breath and thoughts coated in the raspberry coolers Beverly had brought to Richie’s frequently parentless house. There was a chorus of sleepy giggles before Eddie spoke again, “No, seriously,” Eddie said, “I would be dead if Richie hadn’t been there Twice. I would be dead twice without Richie.”

Richie looked at Eddie from across the room, his dark eyes seemed to flash with a familiar fear as he watched the smaller boy from over his drink. “Tell us of your saviour, Eddie!” Beverly cheered from the floor between where Ben and Mike were passing out on the couch, her fiery hair was spread across Mike’s lap and the boy continuously toyed with a ringlet, not quite asleep.

“Christ, Bill,” Stan said, drifting to sleep on the stuttering boys shoulder, “I told you not to let her get those coolers.” “Y-you try and s-stop her n-next t-time.”“Bev,” Eddie said from his place on the couch, “I shit you not, remember that snow storm two years ago?” “Ed’s-”“Beep beep Rich, this is real shit,” Eddie said before moving closer to the red head, “It was so cold that Richie’s lips had turned blue and for a moment I though he was dead. Okay? And that- my heart just stopped, Bev, I swear-”“Ed’s,” Richie tried again. “I was having an asthma attack Bev and I just collapsed. If Richie wasn’t there I would’ve died in minut-”“Eddie,” Richie said louder this time, his cup shattering in his hand as he slammed it down onto the table. “Stop.”The whole room became silent, Bill, Ben and Mike groggily opened their eyes and before anyone could speak Stan got up and pulled Richie to the bathroom by his unbloodied hand. Eddie watched them go, his eyes watering and his lips parted. “That’s his worst fear,” Beverly whispered from between Ben and Mike. Eddie’s eyebrows knit together and before he could ask any questions, Bill spoke. “I-it’s not up t-to us to t-t-tell you, but she’s r-right. He h-had nightm-mares ab-bout that for w-weeks.”In the bathroom, Richie was sitting on the countertop, his face in Stan’s shoulder as tears dropped and left streaks on his already foggy glasses. “Richie,” Stan whispered, running water of the cuts on Richie’s boney hand, “He’s not going to die, you know that.”Richie nodded against Stan’s skin but continued to quietly weep. “You don’t know that,” Richie’s words were quiet, as quiet as Stan had ever heard him.“I do know that,” Stan said, wrapping bandaids around the lanky boys bleeding hand, “I can confidently say that it’s empirically impossible for Eddie Kaspbrak to die as long as your stubborn ass is next to his.”Richie lifted his head when Stan tapped the gauze down and the freckled boy clenched his fist. His tears had stained Stan’s shirt collar but the taller boy didn’t seem to notice, if he did he didn’t acknowledge it. “Thanks, Stan,” Richie said, looking small, “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”“Dead in a ditch is where you’d be without me. Go out there and talk to drunk Eddie.”

Eddie stood in Richie’s room, his hands on opposing elbows and his eyes shifting across the dozens of book’s Richie kept on his shelves. Some were fiction but most had titles that confused Eddie as to why Richie had them on his shelf. Eddie picked up Frank H. Netter’s Atlas of Human Anatomy and flipped through the pages. He held the book close to his chest and his eyes wandered the other titles on the shelves. Anatomy and Physiology in Health and Illness, The Oxford Textbook of Medicine, Advanced First Aid, Pathology of the Lung, Respiratory Injury: Smoke Inhalation and Burns, Respiratory Function in Disease, Anatomy Gr-“I haven’t read them all.”Eddie spun around, Netter’s book still clutched to his chest. His eyes were filled with tears again and his heart was racing in his chest. “Why do you have these?”The air hung heavy, the room was slightly illuminated by a small lamp on Richie’s bedside table, another book resting open, a Polaroid of Bev and Stan holding its page. Richie’s dark eyes averted from Eddie’s and stared at his floor, like the answer to Eddie’s question would be resting along with the laundry piled in the corner. “Rich,” he said, his voice breaking slightly, “Why do you have thes-”“I’m never going to watch you die.” Richie’s voice was strong and his brown eyes were shining. “As long as I am there, you are not going to die. I don’t care if you have the flu, an asthma attack or fucking lymphoma. You’re not going to ever die, not if I can do anything about it. Ed’s I swear to-” Eddie ran forward and wrapped his arms around Richie’s neck, effectively shutting the other boy up while pressing their chests together. Tears were running down both of their cheeks as they held each other and Richie sobbed. “Richie,” Eddie whispered, “I’m not going to die. I’m too stubborn.”A small laugh escaped the taller boy as he held Eddie close. Eddie placed his lips to Richie’s cheek and felt a tear run over his dry lips. Richie’s head turned and Eddie wasted no time in pressing his lips to the freckled boys mouth. Unpractised and surprised at Eddie’s actions, the boys kissed messily and desperate. Without realizing it, this is what they’d been waiting for. This was where they were always meant to end up.

[northshorehealthandfitness]

healing timeline + tips for recovery (breast explant, lift, and abdominoplasty surgery)

[Warning: the reals + wrinkly stomach pics ahead. Proceed with caution] 

Hi friends! Thank you again for all of your kind wishes and comments on the post about my surgery. I was overwhelmed with all of your support and genuinely appreciate those who took time to leave a comment here, on Instagram, and Facebook. It can always been a little daunting to put yourself out there on social media, especially when you feel vulnerable, and you always wrap me up in kindness and love. Thank you for being so wonderful.

You can read more about why I got my breast implants removed and diastasis recti repaired here. (<— classified as a full abdominoplasty because my ab separation was all the way up, and I had loose skin above and below my belly button.)

While I was recovering, I chipped away at this post with some things that came to mind. There are some tips mixed in with my personal experience, and as always, please remember that only we can make the best decisions for ourselves and our health, with our doctor’s guidance. 

Day 1 (Day of surgery): I’m shaking as my alarm goes off. Quickly, I shower, get dressed (in a plaid shirt and comfy shorts I’ll end up wearing for 2 days), and head with Tom to the surgery center. The Dr marks me up with Sharpie, we take pictures, and before I know it, I’m on the operating table, getting my happy juice before I doze off to Dreamland. My body tends to want to fight off anesthesia, so the second they start “lightening” the amount, I WAKE UP. On the OR table. Every around me assures me that it’s over, but I’m still trying to talk (I have no voice from the tube that was down my throat) and also trying to Hulk myself off the table. (My wrists are strapped down.) I’m pretty sure people wake up in recovery? I was wide awake as they lifted me onto the other roll table thing -I did watch Grey’s Anatomy but my brain isn’t helping me remember what it’s called- and wheeled into the recovery room. Tom comes in to keep me company, and my entire body is shaking from the anesthesia. I tell the nurse that I’m in a lot of pain, and she gives me Demerol. It relaxes me a little TOO much, my blood pressure starts to plummet, and they have to quickly give me fluids. In a few minutes, I’m feeling ok again, and talking to the Dr.

Good thing Tom is there because I can’t remember a single thing we discussed. I just remember my blood pressure crashing, getting the fluids, the shaking/doom feeling going away, and drinking ginger ale. I hadn’t had ginger ale in SO LONG and it’s pretty much the best post-surgery drink ever. So bubbly, sweet, and refreshing.  

We head back to the hotel where a wheelchair is waiting, and straight into bed for a long nap. When I wake up, I’m actually feeling pretty great. I eat some nice and salty gluten-free crackers, drink more ginger ale, and we order room service and watch movies.

My recovery timeline:

Day 2-4: The very hardest days. In the middle of the night after my first day post-op, I wake up in SEARING pain. I’d stayed on top of all of my pain pills and muscle relaxers, and wake up having to count down until my next dose. It was pretty terrible. These couple of days are a blur of naps, reading a bit, and watching movies, in addition to getting up every hour or so (hunched over) to walk around the room for 5 minutes so I can move my legs. (<— Doc suggested this to prevent blood clots, and Tom also has to give me daily Lovenox injections to prevent clots for 7 days.) We order a lot of room service and Postmates, since I don’t end up leaving the hotel room the entire time we’re there.

(I’ve never watched so much TV in my entire life)

We have my post-op appointment on day three, and drive home. We stop every hour and walk around -it’s quite a sight hunched over with my compression socks on- and make it home to madre and the girls. The girls know I have an owie and can’t pick them up yet, and they’re super gentle and sweet. I’m SO thankful my mom can stay with us for two weeks. She and Tom end up doing everything around the house and for Liv and P, while also taking care of me. Every time I think about everything they’re doing, it makes me start to tear up because I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude and how fortunate I am to have them in my life. There’s literally no way I can do anything functional at this point; I need help getting out of bed and shuffle around, either to the kitchen, the bathroom, or back to bed.

Day 5-10: Each day, I start to feel a little bit more *normal* and can stand a little more straight. I spend a lot of time on the couch (the girls can snuggle with me and I’ll read them books or watch movies with them), or in bed taking naps. By this point, I’m starting to get bored, and also missing be able to spend all day going on adventures and playing with the girls. I take a break from my binder and super tight sports bra each night to let everything air out, and massage my belly with arnica gel and coconut oil. We watch a lot of movies, and I sleep a lot. 

Tom also takes the drains out from my breasts, which is intense. It’s almost like minor surgery haha. The doctor showed him how to do it since he wanted to spare us another drive to Atlanta and back, and as soon as the drains are gone, I feel RELIEF. It makes it much easier to move around and take a shower. I still have my belly drain, but 1 drain compared to 3 is pure bliss. 

Day 10, I make the switch to Tylenol because I only have 2 pain pills left -I feel like I need to save them in case the pain gets worse- and it’s kind of a rough day. I’m extra sore and tired. I spend a little more time lying on the couch, snoozing, and taking breaks to walk around and shake my legs out. I’m glad I switch to Tylenol because the pain meds were seriously messing up my stomach. (I won’t go into details but I took probiotics twice a day, Colace 3x a day, ate prunes and drank Smooth Move tea.. and things were still not ok.)

By Day 13: I feel SO much better. I feel more mobile, I’m able to contribute more to our family (I can make quick snacks and meals for the girls.. and for myself) and we took my belly drain out, so I’m drain-free! Taking a shower minus the drains is AMAZING. We head to my post-op appointment and get so much good news. Everything is healing as it should be, and I can start to transition carefully towards move normal activities. I can also ditch the binder and wear Spanx instead (I order a couple of these from Amazon), drink alcohol (YEAH), start to add in gentle walking around the block, and massage everything with Vitamin E. This appointment makes me feel so relieved that everything is doing what it should be.

Week 3: I continue to feel better, but feel tired and swollen by the end of the day. I’m wearing these Spanx during the day, and my binder during the night. I’m surprised by how awesome it feels to have my abs back together. Everything feels like it’s back in place. Before it felt like my stomach was always pushing out. I thought I’d be sad that I can’t work out by this point, but I can’t even imagine going to the gym. (Not that I would go early, but I thought I’d feel good enough that I’d be sad I’d have to wait. Nope. Not even close to feeling ready.) 

Week 4: I’m back into my daily activity levels, and it feels awesome. I’m still walking pretty slowly, and tend to do almost everything in slow motion, but I can take Liv to school and pick her up, make all of the girls’ meals, fold and put away laundry, and get some computer work done without feeling like I need a nap halfway through. I’m still wearing my Spanx (starting to transition to that at night instead of the binder), and my sports bra, and using arnica and coconut oil on my torso. I’m waiting for my surgical glue to come off until I start using the Vitamin E on my incisions.

I take a walk around the block.. in slow motion… and am super tired afterwards.

Week 5: I’m cleared to lift P again, and life changes. I feel like I can do everything I need to do -it was SO HARD to have to bring P to the couch every time she wanted me to pick her up and hold her. She’d have to crawl onto my lap instead- and while I’m still being careful, I’m pumped about it. I start to walk around the block more often, because I’ll be cleared to exercise the next week, and will need to start teaching again the week after that. I feel like I can definitely teach at this point, and will just need to spend way more time coaching than doing the actual exercises.

Week 6: I’m cleared to work out again! The doc said to take it easy to start, and avoid super heavy weight lifting, dedicated core work and insane things for another 6 weeks. For now, I’m just excited to do some jogging and barre. He also says I can stop wearing Spanx 24/7 and just wear it during workouts and if I feel more swollen/puffy that day. This is my first week teaching, and while I only do maybe 10% of the class, it’s really hard. I’ve lost a lot of my strength and flexibility. 

Week 7-8: Since we evacuate to Atlanta to escape Hurricane Irma, I book an appointment just to get everything checked out and have a couple of questions answered. There is a small part on the center of my scar he might revise next year -apparently revision is no big deal and done with local anesthesia and very little downtime, but I’m REALLY hoping it flattens out on its own- as well as two small dog ears. These are hard to avoid, and it’s like a puffy/fatty area at the ends of the incision. I’d prefer to stay far away from a scalpel from now on, so I’m crossing my fingers that I heal well and all of the residual scar puffiness goes the heck away.

The good news is that I’m cleared to lift weights again (wahoo!) and everything is healing as it should be. He gives me some silicone strips to try out for scar healing, so we’ll see how they go. 

From now on, I just hope everything continues to heal well and that I continue to feel better and more normal. <3 

Let’s talk about a few things:

-Pain pills. Whenever I have a medical procedure, I take the pain pills for a couple of days and then wean onto Tylenol instead. I have a pretty high pain tolerance. I ended up needing almost every single pain pill they gave me. I took them for 9 days, and took all of my muscle relaxers, and can’t imagine taking anything less. This recovery stuff is not for the birds.

-Recovery smoothie. I didn’t have much of an appetite for the first few days, but even after I was eating like normal-ish again, I continued to have this smoothie almost every day:

-1 1/2 cups almond milk

-1 scoop vanilla protein 

-1 scoop collagen

-spinach

-1-2 tablespoons almond butter (or 1 tablespoon almond butter + 1 tablespoon MCT oil)

-1/2 cup frozen cauliflower

-lots of cinnamon

-ice

It was so refreshing and was an easy way to pack in a lot of nutrients at once. 

-Drains. I’m in a couple of Facebook groups so I can lurk/learn about these procedures, and so many people would complain about their drains. The first day, I was like, “Why are they complaining? The drains are kind of annoying but not so bad.” By like Day 2, I got it. They were terrible. They ached at night and it was so hard to get comfortable. The sites where the drains came out ached whenever they were bumped or moved, and draining them was just nasty. Thankfully Tom did it for me for at least the first 5 days since he’s not grossed out by that stuff. Something that helped me shower was to get a lanyard, clip the drains to it, and they would just hang around my neck. Showering is terrible for the first couple of weeks. Since I couldn’t lift my arms -I got a lift with my explant- my mom and Tom had to help with washing my hair or scrubbing myself. The things we do.

-Must-haves. Extra sports bra (I had to keep them compressed for 2 weeks after my explant and lift), an extra belly binder to wear while you’re washing the other one, and soft camisoles. The binders are SO itchy, and you can wear a camisole underneath. I also rubbed arnica gel on my stomach (not by the wounds) and top of my chest to help with swelling. I also highly recommend Arnica gel for bruising and swelling. Pineapple contains bromelain, which is also supposed to help with swelling. I didn’t take the bromelain supplements, but made an effort to drink pineapple juice and eat fresh pineapple in the first few days.

I also had this wedge pillow for sleeping in bed and it was clutch. (For tummy tucks, they generally recommend sleeping in a recliner or reclined chair position with knees bent and head/shoulders elevated. We don’t have a recliner, but the wedge pillow was perfect. I just used that with a regular pillow on top, and two pillows under my knees.)

All of my must-haves for each type of recovery are listed at the bottom of this post. 

-Recovery and time sleeping/resting. This is so crucial, and as mamas, it can be SO hard to do. This is why it’s important to enlist help during this time. You don’t want to try to be a hero, do too much, and set yourself up for complications (like fluid build-up or tearing muscle repairs). It’s boring and hard to sit still. Also, I found that even though I was sitting and resting a lot, I didn’t have a ton of mojo to get work done or write. It’s different to be resting when you need to rest compared to resting because it feels good to just chill.

I had a lot of help with the girls since I couldn’t lift P for 5 weeks. Madre was here for the first 2, then we had a babysitter while Tom was at work. The good news is that our babysitters are amazing, so it never felt awkward with them here while I was here. When P was napping and Liv was at school, we’d chat and watch Netflix together. It was SO HARD to not pick up my babies, and childcare backup was expensive, but worth it to avoid complications. The good news is that even though I couldn’t lift the girls, we could still snuggle together. We spent a lot of time on the couch, curled up in a blanket, or I’d sit on the floor and read books or play dolls with them. 

-The roller coaster of emotions. My doctor told me that my muscle repair would hurt so much that I wouldn’t even notice my breast pain, and he was exactly right. My breasts felt awesome immediately after getting the implants out. I knew I made the right decision, despite the large scars and the drains. They had ached and burned for so long that the pain from surgery was nothing compared to how I felt before! It was sweet, sweet relief. I felt light, pain-free, and SO happy.

With my abdominal repair, I doubted myself around day three. I still couldn’t easily get out of bed by myself, could hardly walk, had sneezed (THE WORST), had an enormous scar, and was wondering if I’d made the right choice. It got into my head a little -I just wanted to feel good and be able to take care of the girls- but within a few days, as the scar began to heal and I realized how awesome my abs feel together again, I knew it was worth it. The smooth skin is a welcomed improvement, and I’m glad I decided to go for it. 

Before and After pics

I wasn’t originally planning on posting before/after pics, but in my last post, I received quite a few requests to share them. While I was researching these procedures, it helped me tremendously to see pictures of the healing process, so I’m going to share them for those who have asked. It was also helpful for me to see pics of people who had this procedure who had loose skin from childbirth, and ab bulging from the DR. When I saw these types of pictures, and read their stories about how great they felt afterwards, it was reassuring to me. 

Please keep in mind that I’m a human, with real feelings. While dissenting opinions and thoughtful conversation is always encouraged on the blog, comments that are posted for the sake of personal attack (against myself or others who weigh in) will be removed. 

My stomach before (facing forward):

Close up… I like to think it looked like the bottom of a burrito (which really is the best part of a burrito)

Side view:

Relaxed side view at the end of the day (the pressure on the connective tissue all day made me super bloated):

After:

5 weeks post op (belly button is still healing/swollen):

Side view, relaxed: (5 weeks post up):

[Sorry for the bad lighting in these pics, but I didn’t want to edit any of them. Sorry, no boob pics. lol.]

So there ya go!

Thank you so much for reading. Cheers to everyone working on a happier and healthier version of themselves; whatever that looks like for each of us.

xoxo

Gina

My must-haves:

Breast explant and lift:

–Zipper sports bra

–Arnica

-Coconut oil (I get mine from Thrive Market)

–Pure Vitamin E

-Button-up shirts. I especially loved these button up pajamas.

–Wedge pillow (while drains are still in, or until Dr says you can lie flat)

–Soft camisole to wear under the compression bra

–Bralettes and wireless bras (after healing and Dr gave the ok to ditch the sports bra. This is my very fave.)

Abdominoplasty:

–Wedge pillow

–Spanx camisole

–Spanx leotard (I got two of these and LOVE them)

-Faja (this one can be strapless which is nice if you want to wear an off-shoulder top or dress. It’s also very tight and supportive. Not as soft and comfy as the Spanx but does the trick.)

–Vitamin E

-Coconut oil

-Foods on hand that don’t need to be prepared (or were prepped in advance and frozen!), and snacks, like dried fruit, ginger ale, coconut water, and bars

–Arnica

-Soft leggings and comfy pajamas

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