#its there! the games just expect you to make up much of it! and it's great!
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officallunar · 3 days ago
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A deity and A man
This fanfic will be on deity!reader and just Lnd man’s because..I have yet to see anyone do this as often and maybe I can give it a try🙂‍↕️…
(I’m sorry yall i suck at aesthetics😭😭)
Warning:All fluff!
Sylus x Reader , Zayne x Reader ,Rafayel x Reader,Xavier x Reader! (All seperated)
Fanfic under cut!
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The first time you encountered Sylus was unforgettable, mostly because he strolled into your quiet sanctuary like he owned the place. You were sitting on your favorite cliff, enjoying a rare moment of peace, when he appeared, his presence as bold as his white hair and piercing red eyes.
"So, you’re the deity I’ve heard so much about," he said, that cocky smirk plastered on his face. "I expected someone more... awe-inspiring."You arched an eyebrow, unimpressed. “And I expected a little more humility from someone who clearly just crashed the party.”
He laughed, unfazed. “Touché. But really, what’s a powerful deity like you doing out here all alone? Don’t you have realms to rule or something?”
“Watching over mortals is a bit boring,” you replied, crossing your arms. “But it seems like you need to work on your entrance.”With a playful glint in his eyes, he leaned closer. “I think my entrance was just fine. You’re the one who needs to lighten up.”
---
Now, weeks later, he’s become a regular visitor, showing up as if it’s his right. Tonight, as you sit under a sky full of stars, he slides down beside you, settling in with that same familiar grin.“Another night of solitude, huh?” he teases, nudging you lightly. “I hope you’ve saved some entertainment for me.”“Only if you can keep up,” you shoot back, the corner of your mouth twitching up in a smirk.He laughs, leaning closer, the playful challenge hanging between you. “Oh, I like a good challenge. What do you have in mind?”
You ponder for a moment, then say, “How about a little wager? If you can make me laugh before midnight, I’ll grant you one wish.”His eyes widen with intrigue. “And if I can’t?”“Then you have to leave me alone for a week,” you counter, enjoying the game.“Deal,” he says, and the tension shifts, both of you aware of the stakes.
As the night unfolds, Sylus starts pulling out his worst jokes, ranging from terrible puns to absurdly exaggerated stories about his ‘adventures’ in the N109 Zone. You try your best to hold it together, but each ridiculous tale has you laughing harder than the last.“Alright, you win,” you finally admit, breathless with laughter as midnight approaches. “You’re better at this than I thought.”
He grins, triumphant. “Now, what’s my wish, oh great deity?”You lean in, a mischievous glint in your eye. “How about you start by never calling me ‘great’ again? It’s just cringe.”He laughs, a deep, genuine sound that fills the night air. “I think I can live with that... for now.”
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I’m sorry guys this is the only gif I found🥲🥲
Your first encounter with Xavier is when you floated through the abandoned warehouse, doing a routine check on the realm of humans when you stumbled across a familiar sight: A weird man , sprawled out on the floor, snoring softly. His greyish-white hair glowed faintly in the dim light, and you couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Is this really how Deepspace Hunters do their jobs?” you said, voice smooth and teasing. He cracked one eye open, blinked at you, and promptly went back to sleep. (Sleeping beauty core??)
“Hey! Wake up! There’s a Wanderer nearby!” “Mmm, five more minutes…” he mumbled, rolling over. You sighed, shaking your head. “If you don’t wake up, you’re going to become its breakfast.” He jolted awake at that, leaping to his feet. “Why didn’t you say so?” He grabbed his sword and looked around, still half-asleep.
You couldn’t help but laugh as he took down the Wanderer with a flurry of sleepy strikes, yawning between swings. It was a chaotic dance of light and snoring, and somehow it all worked out.
- - -
Fast forward to now, you find yourself lounging in his apartment, a divine being sharing space with a hunter who’s currently napping on the couch. You watch as he shifts in his sleep, mumbling about “no more Wanderers” and “just five more minutes.” You lean over, poking him. “Xavier! Time to wake up!” He opens one eye lazily. “Is it a divine emergency?”
“Only if you consider missing breakfast a crisis.” He grins, stretching like a cat. “Good enough reason to wake up. What’s on the menu today?” “Pancakes, if you can manage to stay awake long enough to eat them.”
“Challenge accepted,” he smiles, and with that, he sits up, looking more awake but still a bit groggy. You can’t help but smile at his half-asleep charm. “Just promise me you won’t nap through the cooking.” “Only if you promise to keep the pancakes divine,” he replies, and you both laugh, the playful banter filling the room as you start breakfast together.
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(Ah..next one,my favourite..I swear I’m not bias🥹👍)
The reason you visit Dr. Zayne Li—or rather, insist on popping into his life at the most inconvenient times—is a bit… unconventional. As a deity, you’re technically there to “watch over” him. After all, every mystical Foreseer needs a divine overseer, right? Or at least, that’s what you tell him when he raises an unimpressed eyebrow at your appearances. You’re meant to ensure he doesn’t stray from his destined path or, perhaps more accurately, doesn’t “forget” to relay prophecies or handle those icy, mystical duties Astra assigned him in the Tower of Thorns.
But, in truth, it's not just about cosmic obligations. There’s something about Zayne’s rigid, always-in-control demeanor that just begs for a little mischief. Maybe you’re a bit of a troublemaker (for his own good, of course), or maybe you simply find it amusing to see a doctor—always so precise and serious—dealing with the unexpected interruptions of a deity who shows up to “check on him.”
Sometimes, you claim it’s to make sure he’s managing that balance between mortal work and mystical duty properly. Other times, you vaguely mutter something about “divine energy alignment” while he just stares at you, unamused. The truth is, you’re always a little curious about this stubborn, hardworking doctor who treats his patients with such dedication but himself with nothing short of reckless neglect.
Though you’ll never admit it, seeing Zayne unphased by both heart surgery and celestial visits from an actual deity gives you an odd sense of calm—even if that calm comes with a side of his barely-suppressed eye-rolls. So, you keep dropping by, claiming to ensure he’s fulfilling his duties. And maybe, just maybe, you’re checking on him for reasons you’d never confess to his face.
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The first time you met Rafayel, you were just a deity wandering around as usual, doing whatever it is deities do between one world and another. And honestly? You were a little bored, as any immortal would be after centuries of staring at endless ocean waves and making sure they didn’t get rowdy.
But that day, you saw something unusual: a young Lemurian, barely more than a kid, washed up on the shore like some bedraggled fish. He was tangled in seaweed, sputtering and swearing in a way that—if you were being honest—was more adorable than intimidating. You crouched over him, tapping his cheek with a finger, and asked, “You look like a drowned fish, kid. Need a hand, or should I start looking for some lemon slices to go with you?”
In response, he cracked open one eye, scowling like a wet cat, and muttered, “Who’re you calling a fish?”
Fast forward, and you had him propped up against a rock, offering him your limited (but highly entertaining) medical expertise. “Pretty lucky I was in the area,” you said, taking full credit for an accident of fate. “What’s your name, kid?”
“Rafayel,” he said, with as much dignity as a sea-sodden kid could muster.
“Cute name. Sorta like ‘fish fillet’,” you mused. He made a sound like he was trying not to laugh—or choke.
And just like that, Rafayel became your first-ever Lemurian “friend.” Over the next few years, whenever you were in the mood for company, you’d find him, or he’d find you. He’d grown out of his fishy awkwardness and into a young god of mischief himself. The Lemurian civilization saw you both as mythical, larger-than-life beings—until, of course, humans got involved, greedy as usual, wanting the blood of Lemurians for eternal life and all that jazz. You saw Rafayel change, his trust in humanity hardening into something darker, his artistry taking on a sharper edge.
But somehow, he never lost his humor or his bratty attitude with you.
- - -
The next time you run into him, it’s pure luck—or destiny, if you want to give it a fancy label. You’re strolling through Linkon City, admiring the odd human inventions they’ve come up with since you last paid attention. And just like that, you find yourself at Whitesand Bay, standing outside a sleek, modern art studio with a pretentious name you suspect he came up with in the middle of the night. Mo Art Studio,the sign reads. Classic Rafayel. You shove the door open and walk in without a second thought.
He’s perched on a ladder, painting the highest reaches of a canvas, looking like he just stepped out of an angsty artist’s dream. His purple hair’s mussed, and he has paint smeared across one cheek, which, you note with satisfaction, he hasn’t even noticed. You clear your throat, and he almost loses his balance, swearing under his breath as he catches himself.
“Well, if it isn’t the original fish out of water,” you say, crossing your arms with a grin.
He slowly turns, narrowing his eyes. “You.I thought you’d finally gone off to meddle with someone else’s civilization.” He smirks, hopping off the ladder, wiping his paint-streaked hands on his dark pants. “I see some things never change.”
“Neither do you,” you retort, making a show of studying him. “Still look like a kid I’d throw a fish at just for fun.”
“And you still look like you don’t belong on dry land,” he shoots back, with that tsundere spark in his eye. “You realize you’re disrupting a masterpiece in progress, don’t you?”
“Oh, is that what this is?” You pretend to admire the half-finished painting behind him. “Looks more like a disaster in progress, to me.”
His grin twitches. “What would a storm deity know about art? Stick to making trouble for fishermen or whatever you’re doing these days.”
You step closer, tapping a finger against the crimson coral in the corner of the canvas, looking at him knowingly. “This coral… it’s still soaked in blood, isn’t it?”
He raises an eyebrow, unbothered. “You catch on quick.” Then he leans forward, lowering his voice. “Let’s just say it’s a way of reminding certain… patrons of their crimes.”
“Not a grudge,” he says lightly, flashing that roguish grin. “Just selective justice.” Then he pauses, tilting his head at you. “I’m curious—what brings you here? Did the ocean get boring without me?”
“Oh, please,” you roll your eyes. “I just wanted to see how you’re holding up. Maybe witness the mess you’ve made of ‘modern’ civilization.” You give the painting another once-over. “I gotta say, Rafayel, revenge art? Bold choice.”
You grin. “Still holding grudges, I see.”
He shrugs, crossing his arms. “Art’s about making people feel something. And if it happens to make a few insufferable humans lose their minds, well… maybe that’s just a bonus.”You laugh, reaching over to ruffle his hair—just to annoy him. “Still such a brat, aren’t you?”
He swats your hand away, cheeks flushing just a bit. “And you’re still an annoying deity who doesn’t understand personal space.” He clears his throat. “But since you’re here, maybe you’d like to see what real art looks like up close.” He gives you a sly look. “Provided you can keep your opinions to yourself for once.”
“Sure, I’ll give you a free critique.” You wink, settling on his studio couch with exaggerated nonchalance. “Just don’t cry if I’m too harsh.”
(I’m sorry yall I had a bit too much fun)
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triglycercule · 3 days ago
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killer being like "yeah i know every single little thing about horror and dust" (because he watches them as a part time hobby (freak) (find something better to do)) and then he acts surprised when they do something that he wouldnt expect them to do in his little predetermined absolutely perfect concept of them
like what do you MEAN horror licks spoons clean when he's using them so he doesn't have to get a completely different one for the main course and the dessert. what do you MEAN dust has a lisp even though he speaks fluently and uses even more complex words than killer himself. horror knows how to sew and he often patches up their things without either of them noticing?? dust always wears oversized and clothes that cover him up just because he finds it comfy?? what??? out ra geous???? these guys have small little quirks to them that killer doesn't already know about???? killer immediately wants to know more. so he can expand his internal profile of them of course. not for any other more endearing and sweet reason. not at all,,,,,,,, (:3)
#AASHSHAHHHHH this one is so cute....... this thought. thank you brain for making this thought#it's like killer's experiencing sonder (except he's not aware of his own complexity of life because of his own derealization/personalizatio#actually i dont think this deserves to be a side blog post. this is too damn CUTE#at first the 2 were probably weirded out by killer watching them and now they probably dgaf...... killer comments less than youd expect#but now theyre used to his shit so they do all these tiny things that killer gets to pick up on and learn more about them#its so interesting...... killer can do as much reasoning as he can to try and find a logical reason for why they do these little things#but in the end if the real reason is just because they wanted to or they felt like it then how can killer comprehend that?#how can they just do that so easily and choose to do things based off a whim instead of having a calculated precise reason for personal gai#he wouldnt realize it on his own but noticing those little things coming fron horror and dust who used to be like him could help with the#everything is just a game and i am simply an avatar and the ultimate goal is the win aka be the most powerful#for dust and horror theyve already turned their consoles off. theyre out of their games theyve finished. their goal was just to beat it#(like if horrortale finally got the good ending it deserves because of aliza horror would have finished#if dust beat the player and due to extreme boredom (ITS GOTTA BE EXTREME EXTREME) decides to leave to explore the multiverse)#in killer's eyes theyve achieved their goals. but killer's still playing his game. maybe he IS the game. but eitherway he's not done#like they r. so taking into consideration how other versions of himself act when theyre finished with the game could he act like that 2??#did HE also finish his game and he never realized it? should he be basing these ideas off dust and horror when theyre kinda not the same gu#killer would find so many hoops to jump through to justify getting rid of the everything is a competitive game idea but there would be smth#IDK im just rambling. i gawt this idea from me imagining them fight. ya you wouldnt believe this sweet thing came from trio abuse :3#killer psychoanalyzing dust and horror is one of my favorite things eva. horror would HATE IT (if he were aware#and dust would totally be freaked out and keep to himself incase killer's planning anything against him#but uaaaghhh pretend this isnt canon this is triglycercule's ideal little world where they explore the mv and have fun#killer watching dust and horror sleep because he doesnt feel tired while theyre all in bed#and he's just picking up on how theyre positioned. how they breathe. the little things.......... djdjshahahaaahsushdjwbdsn ssosooooo cuuut#tricule hc#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#dare i say mtt poly. ok i dare say it. but like lowkey he'd do this whether theyre together or not...... killers just weird like that......
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matrixsss · 1 day ago
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Foxy Escapades
For day 2: Fox for @lucienweekofficial
A/N: This is just a short ficlet, I am having a bit of a writers block but I still wanted to write something for this week. Hope you enjoy it
Read here or on AO3
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Every once in a while, Lucien gets overwhelmed with being himself. Being an emissary is hard work on the most normal and easy of days. Having to deal with other courts and their ways can get infuriating. He knows how to navigate these situations, of course, it doesn’t make it any easier though. Lucien, when overwhelmed can be cranky and sometimes out of control. Tamlin knows the signs of an overwhelmed Lucien before Lucien himself knows it.  
Tamlin hated the sound of bones cracking as he shifted others or himself, but he would do anything to help Lucien out. So, he shapeshifts Lucien into a small mischievous fox and as soon as he does, the fox runs off into the same direction as he always does; Autumn court. Although Beron was no longer among them, Lucien still couldn’t bear going back to his home in his fae form.  
As a fox though? It gave him enough courage.  
Lucien had no thoughts as he ran towards the autumn forest, just a sense of pure freedom. The crunching of colourful leaves beneath his paws, the familiar brisk and crisp smell of his beloved home. He kept running and jumping over fallen aspen logs, always careful of not setting off a bear trap that he knew were around the vast autumn courts forest.  
“Drop it.” Lucien knew that voice, it belonged to none other than his older brother; Eris. An idea popped into his foxy head when he heard the voice. Their relationship was... well rocky to say the least. So many years have passed, many tragedies alongside them that built a wall between the once close brothers.  
He had good memories of Eris showing him good hiding spots in their library, how to catch fish in the stream far away from the Forest house. Lucien remembers how Eris taught him to not fear the fire running through his veins and how to wield them. Which somehow always turned into a game of who can make the funniest shapes made from their fires.  
Mind you, Lucien always won (Eris would disagree).  
The ginger tried to fix whatever was salvageable of their relationship, but it was not easy. Eris’ walls were built so high and mighty that no-one and nothing could break through them. Deep inside he had a feeling that Eris wanted to reach out, but the years of Berons reign left him broken, unable or rather he did not know how to be soft and accepting.  
Lucien stealthily sneaked closer to where his brother stood, surrounded by his hounds. One of the hounds sniffed the air before its eyes met Luciens’. He half expected the hound to bark to alert the others of his presence, but it was like the hound knew who it was. So, it did nothing but turn around and plopped its’ entire body on the fallen leaves. 
Lucien stared at Eris’ back as he calculated his next moves. In a second, he ran towards him, leaping in the sky towards his brother, who at the last second turned around and Lucien ended up bouncing off his face. His brothers’ head was pushed back from the push of his paws as he stared ahead in pure shock.  
The hounds did nothing, they did not care of the fox's presence which told Eris everything he needed to know. The small smile on his brothers’ face told him as much.  
The two brothers played around, like they used to in the past, just in a different way. Eris’ laughter bouncing off the trees and foliage around them, so much so that even the forest started to glow in pure joy.  
With the sun soon to set, Lucien looked at his brother, huffing at him – a goodbye for now- before running back towards his other home and his high lord.   The worries he had before, gone.
***
Hope you liked this little thing, you can use the header image if you'd like ☺️
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alongtidesoflight · 2 days ago
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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
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shadowshrike · 2 days ago
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Not including Tav, which party of four companions would you most love to see adventuring together?
My personal pick would be: Gale, Astarion, Halsin, and Jaheira aka the old person squad.
Besides their cutting humor and collective pragmatism, I love how this group can always have one "odd man out" when almost any situation comes up.
Gale - The token human
He may be older than a lot of the other companions, but with these three he's constantly listening to them complain about things that happened before he was born. When he tries to join in by discussing the histories he's read, he usually learns how much his books were missing and is teased for being the child of the group who still has creaky knees. He also has to remind them that he can't see in the dark at least once a tenday.
Astarion - The token non-caster
Oh, he has an affinity for magic when it comes to practical use, but not at all on the level of the other three. There is a great deal of whinging and, when that fails, stealing of unimportant trinkets from the distracted party's pockets whenever they go on for too long about their spellcraft.
Bonus as the token evil guy. Though it's really more the "token evil ideas guy" because the other three, though not prone to his daydreams of wanton sadism, are far less bothered about getting their hands dirty than he expected. Apparently, once you've lived long enough, a lot of things stop being shocking to you even if you disapprove of them.
Halsin - The token country bumpkin
He's traveled much of the world, but despises city life and finds its customs foreign, constantly surprising the other three with enormous gaps in his 'wise old man' persona. Gale tries to teach him about the city (often to excess), Jaheira calls him out for being ignorant at his age, and Astarion finds whatever opportunities he can to humiliate Halsin using civilization for the party's entertainment, though it often backfires.
Jaheira - The token girl
That's not to say her gender has a huge influence on how the others treat her, but it's something they're aware of when it's just the four of them out there. She'd argue it probably makes her self-appointed job of keeping them in line easier. She doesn't hesitate to weaponize her crotchety old woman voice whenever she calls out the "stupid men" for doing foolish things, and it gives her the opportunity to send them to handle any "boy's club" missions on their own while she makes pithy judgements from the sidelines.
I know this is a wildly impractical squad for the game and there is very little canon banter between them. I just think they'd be neat. Though, to be honest, I think most groups of four companions have their own uniquely charming dynamics.
So, what about you? What companion-based adventuring party do you like best?
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ratatatastic · 2 months ago
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"ive played in a canadian market ive been in st louis in the summer they won—ive never seen buzz like this" "we're really lucky we get to play hockey in such a nice place" the C and A clocking in on their Praise South Florida as a Hockeytown shift
2024-25 Media Day | 9.18.24 (x)(x)
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theminecraftbee · 1 year ago
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related ramble: genuinely if the part of decked out that appeals to you is "incremental progress in which the players must learn the map bit by little bit and also understand when to turn around and bail to learn more of the map later in another run", you don't mind games that are hard, and you like rpgs. please play etrian odyssey. please they're such good games and no one ever talks about them. please,
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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months ago
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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thedrotter · 4 months ago
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Re:Kinder Fun Facts of the day☺️!!! Have you ever wondered who talks the most from the main cast in Re:Kinder?? Well, I did😊. Today I'll be answering this question with some graphs and as a bonus telling you what words each character uses the most! I will warn you, this will be a bit long and I don't know how to be less verbose so, yeah!!!
First, I've made some basic rules as to what I counted regarding how much the characters speak. Not all lines really count as speaking, after all.
Any of the incoherent screaming lines don't count. There's a lot of screaming since the characters die a lot (as expected for a horror RPG game), but I don't really count that as speaking unless they're saying proper words. In that same vein, I didn't really count any of the panting or sniffing and such that are conveyed through words. Again, I don't really see that as a character actively speaking their thoughts!
If I cannot tell who a line belongs to, I will not give it to anyone. This happens for certain lines, so I felt this rule was important.
I won't be counting repetitions of the same line if it's on a variation of the same scene. This may sound a bit strange, but when a character dies, the game goes on to the same next scene it would regardless (unless the scene that follows it is an ending), with variations and new lines here and there to account for the dead character, but a lot will be reused and placed in the exact same beats it normally would have been in originally. So, this rule is here for that. Oh, and also the scenes with bits of Yuuichi's backstory that appear in Shunsuke's head won't be counted twice, because some appear twice line by line.
Of course, the "..." lines won't count. I am so sorry Aya!!!!😞
Now that the ground rules have been set, there's just one thing I want to mention. Though I will count all the total lines for Takumi and Yuuichi like any other character, I just want to mention that first I will have two separate counts for them! Takumi | Takumiel and Yuuichi | Yuuichi's Heart respectively.
Takumiel is separate because I was curious about how much Takumi spoke as an archangel compared to when he was alive. Yuuichi's Heart is because he speaks so much he feels notable enough to be given his own division, even if he and Yuuichi at the end of the day are one person
(I count the silly mind telepathy where Shunsuke is being directly spoken to [and being told things normal Yuu would avoid saying at that point] and the comical theater as Yuuichi's Heart. I clarify in case one assumes he only starts being counted the moment he's directly labelled as Yuuichi's Heart. Any line that can't be distinguished between Yuuichi's Heart and Yuuichi will be given to Yuuichi by default.)
With nothing else to be clarified let's get to the numbers!!!😊😊
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First, the line counts with Takumiel and Yuuichi's Heart counted individually!! Here are the rankings:
Shunsuke (With a lead of 535 lines over second place!!)
Yuuichi
Rei
Yuuichi's Heart
Hiroto
Ryou
Sayaka
Aya
Takumi
Takumiel
You may be thinking— woah, does Shunsuke really speak that much?! You could say that, for a good chunk of those lines are from how he describes interactable points around the map and his inner thoughts, so they aren't all exactly said out loud. The benefit of being the protagonist, I suppose ww
Funny enough, Yuuichi's Heart has almost as many lines as Yuuichi does for not having that much time in the game, being on the higher end between the characters that don't get the benefit of being a protagonist (lol)!
Admittedly I had expected for Rei and Hiroto to have a more similar amount of lines given their nearly equal amount of presence, but for what it is Rei surpassed Hiroto by 51 lines! I also had expected for Takumiel to speak a little bit more than Takumi but turns out the opposite is true.
While the lack of lines of Takumi and Takumiel are to be expected due to their short time on the game, what stands out is Aya not even reaching triple digits between her other peers who are in there for most of the game. This is because a good chunk of Aya's lines in game are silence!^^" And thus weren't counted. If ellipses were a word, she surely would have reached triple digits, but unfortunately they're not.
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Now the line count with combined sums of Takumi | Takumiel and Yuuichi | Yuuichi's Heart!!!
In here, the ranking isn't affected, with Yuuichi remaining second place and Takumi being last place. But the disparity of everyone's numbers compared to Takumi's feels a bit more clear to see when Takumiel isn't individually counted.
With Yuuichi's line counts combined, Shunsuke remains 318 lines ahead of him, but it also means Yuuichi has a 59% the amount of Shunsuke's lines; and impressive feat for someone who doesn't get the benefit of being the point of view for everything you press... Although he does also have an upper hand over everyone by essentially being the plot of this game ww
But maybe line counts do not suffice to tell how much a character speaks. Yes, Shunsuke has a bunch of lines from everything he interacts with, but is it really reliable to say he speaks all that much in all those lines? A good chunk of those could easily have 3 words each! So with this in mind, let's do a word count.
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Even in a word count, Shunsuke has the lead, having a lead of 2,247 words over second place. But we'll see about that when we combine Yuuichi's numbers. Anyway, here's the ranking!
Shunsuke
Yuuichi's Heart
Yuuichi
Rei
Hiroto
Ryou
Sayaka
Aya
Takumi
Takumiel
This time, Yuuichi's Heart is the one at second place!!! It's pretty funny that he speaks more than his physical counterpart ww. I genuinely didnt think he'd out yap himself that way when I chose to count for him individually 😭!!! He has a lead of 63 words over himself, but a lead nonetheless.
In here, Rei and Hiroto are more even than in the line counts, with the difference seeming more minimal when put into words. But it also showcases that despite Rei having more lines than Yuuichi's Heart in the line count, those only get to have a bit over half of the amount of words he talks (To be fair he does get to infodump a lot in his section of the game).
And here's the combined word count!!! Suddenly Shunsuke's lead is only by a mere 55 words! So Yuuichi speaks about as much as he does with 318 less lines.
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I must admit that I genuinely did not expect it to be that close. When I chose to count the lines for when you interact with things for Shunsuke, I thought he was granted to speak an absurd amount more than anyone else. But turns out that Yuuichi speaks about the same amount out loud when most of Shunsuke's are his own thoughts ww. But it does make sense! He is still the plot of this game.
So, after all those charts, here's the average/middle point of lines and words for characters to have, because why not, it's fun.
Average Line Count (YH and Takumiel counted individually): 197 lines
Average Line Count (When combined): 247 lines
Average Word Count (YH and Takumiel counted individually): 1,333 words
Average Word Count (When combined): 1,666 words
So there it is. That's how much the characters in Re:Kinder speak!
But wait!!! I am not done. I will share with you an additional fun fact... Did you ever want to know what word each of these characters said the most?! This one will be quicker, I do promise.
When it came to counting these words I did not count stop words, that being common words that are used all the time by everyone in English. "I, you, me, the, to, a, my, your, yes, no"... Words like that! Otherwise everyone would have one of those as their most said word and it'd be rather boring to look at. With that said, here are the words these characters say the most!
Shunsuke: Yuuichi - said 40 times! (this genuinely confused me so much im sorry he uses interjections so much I had expected it to be something like "huh" or "um" but no i dont know how this passed by me as i was rounding up all the lines he says or proofreading or writing all of those lines WHAT?!?! its been two days and it still takes me out)
Ryou: Shunsuke - Said 14 times
Sayaka: Murderer - Said 7 times (All in one sentence!)
Takumi | Takumiel (counted in one for how little he speaks.): Takumiel - Said 3 times (That name is so important, he said it thrice.)
Aya: Sorry - Said 5 times
Rei: Hell, gonna, look, Yuuchi - said 8 times (Most of the repeated words she says are stop words for she doesn't tend to speak about the same things repeatedly.)
Hiroto: Shunsuke - Said 17 times
Yuuichi (separate from YH): Problem - Said 17 times
Yuuichi's Heart: Mama - Said 24 times
Yuuichi (Overall): Mama - Said 31 times
So that is finally it. That is the fun fact of today.😊😊 Use this to woe your friends at parties!!!
I am aware Mami speaks about enough to be counted in, but this is pretty time consuming to do and I'm not sure anyone is invested on her enough to count her in. But if there's enough curiosity regarding that, I'll try counting her in. But for now this suffices.☺️ Thanks for reading!
#re:kinder#rekinder#not art#fun fact!!!#i talk!!!#ive been at this for... two days how yall doing😊#ive thought of doing this since when i started by transcript of rekinder but i wasnt ready to do that after finishing that beast of a scrip#so here it is later than i anticipated! it is more time-consuming than i thought considering i have the benefit of the transcript#so when i was getting to doing mami i was already tired ww 😭 love her but this is just a silly bonus thing i throw out#so im not as ready to spend more than the several hours i already spent than with other funny silly proyects#i have more things i want to work on more😊!!! and also the semester is ending soon ww#ANYWAYYY#THIS WAS FUN THOUGH!!!#originally i wasnt going to count the things you can interact with for shunsuke but they are so obviously said by him i just had to#I WAS GOING TO IGNORE IT BUT THEN MY CONSCIOUSNESS TOLD ME... NO.... YOURE ROBBING HIM OF PERFECTLY FINE LINES!!!! 💔💔#so now his numbers are absurdly high#i still cant believe he said yuuichi more than huh i cannot believe that . like. he says huh 5 times less BUT STILL#i really wrote a whole transcript proofread it for 30+ hours then went back to do a line count for several more hours#and didnt notice the protagonist of this game said the name of my favorite character a million times#I NOTICED A “HUH” MORE THAN A NAME COME ONBRUEJWJFNNW#i dont really make any comments regarding ryou or sayaka in here as much because their numbers are exactly as i had expected#about the same amount not too much... its nothing groundbreaking to make a comment out just saying#if anyone is curious yuu says vamos cantar only 6 times#no one's most said word is particularly surprising to me after shunsuke but i did have a stroke seeing problem pop up for yuu#the document i was writing all of this info in before doing this post was very tidy and organized very well articulated until thay happened#i was perfectly expecting him to mention one of his parents the most overall but when separated from Yuuichi’s heart i did not knwo what#so when problem popped up my gut reaction was thinking that i wasnt making it to the end of the document no one speak to me i felt#IT . IT MAKES SENSE but it isnt fun💔#i wasnt even going to count yuuichis heart most said word until he out yapped himself admittedly#I SEPARATED HIM FROM USUAL YUU FOR THE LOLS I DIDNT THINK HE'D SPEAK THAT MUCH
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bucket-puns · 1 month ago
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Knight Zwei West Ishmael on- your house actually, pay up.
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ratzhatz14 · 19 days ago
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Hii!! Thanks for the reblog!!
I’m a huge fan of your sprouts world au!! Very fun angst >:D
Anyway your one of my fav blogs and that reblog made my morning, thank you!
I was gonna make a reference to that one meme which is like "You want colors? We got colors" but with angst instead
Until I read the last part
That made me just
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all nice and round and whimsical
#BUABUABUABUABUABUAAAAAA#← the happy noises a rat .akes#makes*#SHIT#i hate typing#I WANNA SPEAK SO MUCH BUT VOICE TO TEXT HAS A 120% CHANCE TO FUCK UP A SILLY WORD#SO IM FORCED TO TYPE#but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#explodes#it feels so weird yet flustering to know that i could be someones favorite blog#ANYWAAAYYSSSSSSSS imma go reblog ALL ur posts or go find posts with an underwhelming amount of attention. and make them#✨shine bright like a diamond✨#oh GOD that meme is so overused i feel cringe using it hrhhrhrhrhr#Tag yapper#live laugh love yapping in tags#+i like ur art#very silly art#(I DONT REMBER WHERE I GOT THE MOUSE FROM BUT I LOVE IT AND ITS IN MY FAVORITES HELP)#++I dont have many ideas for SW... BUT I DID HAVE THE IDEA TO MAKE SHORT COMICS FOR EACH TOON IN THE AU#from Dandy (1st death oooh) to whoever will be last.... PLUS that means lore mode!!1!1!!#I watched too much game theory when i was smaller if you couldnt tell#eueueueueueue normalize making random high pitched noises wawa buabuabuaaaaaa#← needs to be put in an asylum /hj.... or am i?#CHARLIE STFU YOU CANT JUST STEAL VSAUCES PERSONALITY AFTER WATCHING 2 SHORTS ON YOUR FYP FROM HIM.#sorrgy charliee...... 💔#guys charlie is so meaaaan can we ban charlie#I MEAN NO SHIT SHERLOCK. YOURE THE SCHOOL BULLY. WATCHU EXPECT????#oh yeah i forgot abt dat#YEAH. YOU FUCKHEAD. SHRIMPFACE. GO CRY IN THE CORNER YOU SHRIMP KIN.#wwwwwwWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH CRIES IN CORNER . ...im insane. i need help. genuinely.
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cconfusedkat · 14 days ago
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Grrrggrrghhrrgrrr guys i think this game has ruined my life /SO VERY POSITIVE
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I NEVER REALIZED HOW MANY MORE REFS I DO NEED TO MAKE FOR THESE MFS-- i had to redownload a bunch of their transparent pngs for ibispaint in the reference window and the references KEEP ON COMING ,,,,, LIEK I HAVE ANOTHER 7 TO DO POSSIBILITY I THINK ,,,, AND THE FIVE OF THEM ARE BISHOP OCS I LOVE AN INSANE AMOUNT OF Wait no mayve its 9. Regardless theyre literally the color of the rainbow which is why im resharing these ITS THE PRIDE PARADE UP IN HERE
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sydmarch · 4 months ago
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slay the princess extremely good game
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juniperjelly · 1 month ago
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i think people who argue about minecraft saying shit like "the devs are lazy and bad!" or "these updates are free and you should be grateful!" need to understand that these are both equally stupid takes devoid of nuance or critical thought
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gu6chan · 2 months ago
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maybe its sample bias but i think it's kinda funny how most people I've seen who've played drakengard because of nier are making ending e THE endgoal and more often than not the main if not only reason they're playing the game at all and when they finally get it they're like "this is it the single most impactful, greatest moment of all gaming. im wiping tears from my eyes this is it" and then you see the drakengard fans who've played drakengard because they like drakengard and you ask them about ending e and they're like "eh. it was okay, i guess"
#gu6chan's musings#i think it's different when you view it as the ending/finale to the GAME vs the literal thing you play the game for#honestly though if im being 100% fr.... im kinda not even neutral on ending e i think it kinda sucks lol#like#i dont HATE it#but it's definitely really weak not even in a 'final fuck you to the player' type way just a.... bad way?#like its too absurd and out of nowhere to be taken seriously but it takes ITSELF too seriously to be considered a joke#so its just kinda a weird unsatisfying blend that left me like 'huh. i think they should have left off at ending d' which DOES manage to be#a sort of slap on the wrist 'reward' for players who CONTINUE to slaughter and thereby follow the general theme of the game while still#respecting the time and effort they put into THEIR product. it's not... satisfying? at least in the way an ending should be; but it still#felt like a worthwhile conclusion that solidly BUILT UP and RESPONDED to players' curiosity and expectations#ending e just kinda gave the feeling that the staff didn't really have confidence or even a thought players LIKED their product so they just#kinda threw whatever at them which in other cases it would be a silly joke#but positioning it as the 'finale' of the game just felt kinda wrong and disrespectful lol. left a bad taste in my mouth#bc again its ONE thing not to 'reward' players with a happy ending who are just casually playing and may be somewhat interested in the story#but if you're going to the point of collecting SIXTY FIVE WEAPONS its no longer just about casually playing#these ppl have a GENUINE drive and desire to see how much higher the stakes can get and again#the ending is just really.... lukewarm and unserious compared to the actual RESOLUTION players got regardless of the tone of the ending?#if that makes sense#im rambling at this point ending e isn't even my LEAST Favourite ending (I'm sorry c; I love you but that goes to you) but godddd#i have so many issues with it#rhythm game is fun once youve actually gotten the damn thing though
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ratatatastic · 3 months ago
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"Battle of Alberta, right? It was my first game: Calgary, Edmonton. We would play them in the preseason, and you know—trying to make the team I'd always be asking him to fight in preseason, always. I'd be runnin' my mouth—like, tryna fight the biggest, baddest guys, tryna make an impression.
And he would never fight me. He'd always tell me, like If you make the team, I'll fight ya. You don't have to worry about that, but I'm not fightin' ya preseason. And I totally respect it, I'm not gonna chase him down. It is what it is. He's established—I'm looking for my chance.
So I get called up, we're playing Edmonton in Edmonton: Battle of Alberta. [He's] over there on the other side, and it's like the coolest thing ever... you know, the buildup was crazy 'cuz I knew if the opportunity presented itself—if the game went the way I hoped it would, I would get an opportunity to fight him.
I remembered in warmups tryna skate by the redline initially just kind-of gettin' a feel for it—to see if I have to say something or whatever... He's got no bucket on, his big, bald head is glarin' around, he skates by the redline with the biggest smile on his face, and just gives me the biggest wink...
At that moment I knew Okay, he remembers. It's gonna happen at some point.
We were up 1, I think it was 2-1 going into intermission or whatever—Oh, no, I think it was 1-1 and we had just scored so the position I'm like Yeah, I don't know if I can fight him now because we have the momentum and we're winning the game. I don't want to lose a fight, then we lose a game and now I'm, like, never getting a chance again.
You kind-of gotta play the game within the game like [...] there's an opportunity to fight, and there's an opportunities where you shouldn't fight. Things weren't looking good, then they score and now we need a spark. I'm like Fucking perfect.
I just skate by their bench and I'm like It's time, big boy! He jumps out, we line up, and he goes We squarin' up or we goin' right away?
I'm like I'm not fuckin' squarin' up with you right now! We're goin' right away!
Drop em, we go right away, grab each other. I know he's a lefty so he's gonna let go—let's go of my right arm before he throws one. I threw one. Big boy went down, he jumped back up pretty quick. I don't know, I tell people all the time, I'm like I would've been in the league fuckin' 2 years earlier if there was good footage of this fuckin' fight!
For some reason—For some reason, the cameras cut out. I don't know if [he] had his cousins working the cameras or something that night, or if they're in the video room or what happened.
That was my first NHL game.
It's funny 'cuz Chucky was there—Chucky's there and he knows, he saw, he always laugh when I say that I would've been in the league earlier 'cuz he knows how things like that go. You get a little bit of energy and buzz around ya, and then kind-of momentum takes you a little bit further but unfortunate[ly], I missed that opportunity but I don't regret a thing.
[...]
The opportunity was there, I just—unfortunately, for whatever reason, the Hockey Gods said not yet." (Ryan Lomberg reminiscing over his first NHL game/fight) (x)(x) (please go watch the second link to see lombos giant smile as he tells this story jfc)
and other genuinely bonkers things to say about a hockey player in your first fight... like why did this need to be said like that...what
#ryan lomberg#lombo what the fuck#for the sake of clarity lombo does refer em by name but i think its funnier to obscure it in this case for people who dont know who it is#im sure edm and the bald description gave it away of who it is#but youll never fucking guess who this bitch is waxing poetic about#the wha the huh#HIM??????#WE'RE ROMANTICISNG THAT FUCKIN GUY??? REALLY????#i hate it here#this just in the guy you adore just said the horniest shit about the worst person you know#completely forgot they both were on the flames at the same time its been erased from my memory#(guy who does not pay attention to anything that is not pantr related)#but also matthew giggling about lombos little I WOULDVE BEEN HERE EARLIER IF THE CAMERAS WORKED RIGHT#how dare we lose him to calgary again HOW DARE#hello special little matthew cameo#the homoeroticism of it all#the inherent homoeroticism of hockey fights#why did he describe it like that#do you know what “scrappy ahler tries to make it big by fighting everyone in sight to impress staff and even challenges the enforcer vet#knowing itll make him look good if he does and said enforcer vet does not give him the time of day and goes i promise ill fight you when yo#get called up during the regular season not now and to which said scrappy ahler gets called up during the regular season and doesnt expect#much but gets completely surprised when the vet 1. remembers who he is 2. the promise he made and 3. even gives him a cheeky wink about it.#and the game is chippy from the start the ahler isnt sure theyll be able to fight hin but low and behold the hockey gods bless him#and he does he even gets to decide the rules AND wins it in one punch. the downside? none of it was filmed.#but the memory of that vets wink rings clear“ does to me man?#also. a classic case of hockey gods giveth. hockey gods taketh away.#sweetheart you can be gay AND also want your cool fight filmed honey youre asking for too much#yeah lombo does like calling men bigboy yeah that's a thing
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