#its the way we're dead in the middle of Fall but my brain is just full of summer vibes lol

[blank-house]

Fourth Community Goal Reached!

Small announcement for today and that is you guys hit the fourth community goal!

The team's gonna share some phone UI designs for you guys to vote over down the line. In the meantime though, level 5 is up for y'all to tackle! It's a bit of a jump, but with six calls on the line it's only fair, no?

So if you want a phone call from each cast member daydreaming and planning their Summer plans with you don't forget to like and share our pinned posts!

[oh-no-its-bird]

Sat down and was like "What's the dumbest, most out of pocket crossover I can think of with Naruto." Then remembered that one guy who just went "Madoka magica" under my TMA crossover post and started giggling

So yeah, @thr33dogsinatrenchcoat this one goes out to you, I hope ur happy

So my first thought was just Homura in Naruto, but then my brain said no. Kyubey in Naruto. And then I really lost it

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present to you,

✨️ magical girl Kakashi ✨️

Major Spoilers for Madoka Magica below the cut

(Funilly enough, this has been in my drafts for a while now, well before I started getting really into my magical girl izuna AU)

A quick explanation for those of you here for Kakashi content who have no clue what Madoka Magica is;

Kyubey is a pink immortal rat thing from space who offers specifically pre-teen girls contracts to become magical girls. The girl will be granted a wish as their payment for the contract, then have to fight monsters known as Witches.

How big the wish that they can have granted (wishing for a cake vs wishing to revive the dead for example) depends on their potential as a magical girl. The girls magical girl theme and power will revolve around whatever wish they made— ask for someone to be healed and you may be able to heal faster, ask for happiness and maybe you get to be an empath, etc. As long as you can somehow connect the power to their wish, anything is fair game.

It's later revealed that a) the "soul gem" every magical girl is given when they become a magical girl is literally their soul in physical form. Kyubey just straight up removed their soul from their body and put it in a ROCK. Yes this does mean you can torture a magical girl via her soul gem, and yes if the soul gem gets too far from the girl she will collapse like a puppet who's strings were cut.

And b) witches are actually magical girls who fall victim to negative emotions and have their soul gems consumed by darkness either because they were swallowed by grief or from using too much magic without being able to clean their soul gem (which they can only do by killing witches)

Kyubey does all this because magical girls specifically within the age range of a middle schooler, give off a specific kind of energy when they transform into the witches that Kyubey's race farms for reasons I don't really remember anymore but I'm pretty sure has to do with it being mandatory for their race to live? Dunno it's been years since I watched madoka

Ok context over now for the fun part:

Something about the way humans are made in this world means Kyubey is not restricted to prepubescent girls in offering contracts. It's probably related to their chakra coils or something; Which also translates interestingly into how your amount of chakra and your chakra control affects your power as a magical girl.

Both of which Kakashi has in the bag.

I've read a few different takes about how Kakashi's chakra reserves are actually really big, he's just always running dangerously low bc of the constant drain of the sharingan. (I think this was actually confirmed in one of the novels? Which is neat) And since the overall 'potential' of his maximum chakra reserves is what wins out when it comes to the magical girl contract, he's our ideal customer.

Now, for this set up we aren't going to be using the "Kyubey and the magical girl system have just been around for a long while" but instead we're going with the "kyubey is new to this world and, seeing all of this potential energy, is looking to take a few of these bad boys on a test drive to see how well they work."

(Though there's a very interesting fic there with the angle of kyubey as maybe the equivalent of a 10th secret biiju, maybe locked away somewhere, and maybe released by forming a contract with someone— His junchuriki perhaps?)

This brings up an interesting question! A world where theyre havent been any magical girls yet made means that its a world without witches. And in a world without witches, what is Kyubey's explanation for why he needs magical girls when asked?

In the show we are shown that if pressed and asked the right questions, Kyubey will often tell the truth of the matter — that eventually a magical girl will self destruct and Kyubey farms the energy they release when they turn into a witch.

I can't see any shinobi worth their salt just accepting a suspicious contract for even more suspicious power from an impossibly MORE suspicious little magic rat thing. Kakashi especially. Questions WILL be asked and I do think it wouldn't actually be that hard to get Kyubey to give up the truth. Honestly, knowing the things personality and how it likes to take the logical approach, he might see that just telling the truth may actually help convince some people.

Because yeah, horrible fate aside, it's a lot easier to buy into promises of power when you know exactly what the catch will eventually be, and when it'll probably start kicking in.

There's a lot of people in Naruto who would can and have traded a LOT more than just their soul for power and a free wish. I can see people taking Kyubeys deal as is, Kakashi included under the right circumstances.

And besides that, there are plenty of times when the situation is last minute and intense to have the time to ask questions. Kyubey appearing in some life or death battle offering a miracle would probably be able to get a "fuck it what's the worst that can happen" from pretty much anyone

Anyways there are a few different paths we can take with the how's and why's Kakashi becomes a magical girl, and it largley depends on when exactly Kyubey approaches him about it.

1; Minato Route

Wishes for Minato and everyone to please just stay safe during "Madara's" attack, saving them and trading his soul for it in the process. He has no regrets tho, he refuses to.

This path I think would be fun if Kyubey shows up for the first time super last minute and Kakashi is pressed into a rushed contract and rushed wish. But I can also see if maybe he'd been approached by Kyubey beforehand, it's just that he was trying to sort out whether he trusted the rat enough to make a deal and sort out the exact wording of his wish. But oops no more time for that Kyubey please just keep his family safe!

It'd be fun if that was his exact wording actually. "I wish to keep my family safe"

Maybe it'd mean that even in the future, if he finds someone he considers to be his family, the wish will grow and apply to them? And then ""safe"" is such an abstract concept, especially to shinobi. What does it mean to be safe? Maybe it can end up backfiring in some way eventually, idk

2; Obito Route

^ Like he considers obito family, so maybe Obito is out there reaping the benefits of this wish as he tears shit up bc Kakashi never considered his wish could protect someone who might wish him harm.

This'd also mean Minato and Kushina are around!!! That'd impact a fuck ton of stuff for sure. I feel like without them dissapearing as his final push off the edge, Kakashi for sure wouldn't be the same guy we see in canon. He at least has some form of safety net to catch him, even if he's deep in depression and might not realize that net is there.

After either Kanabi bridge or Rin's death, Kakashi is approached by Kyubey, reads the terms and conditions of the contract, and then wishes for Obito and or Rin to come back to life. This, specifically with Obito, I see going one of two ways;

Kyubey, a bastard, who somehow magically knows Obito is alive: "Are you sure this is what you want to use your wish for?"

Kakashi: "fuck you yes I am"

Kyubey: "I mean if you say so lmao" (Less work for me)

Or,

Kyubey, somehow magically knowing Obito is alive and not wanting to have Kakashi waste this wish because say what you will, he's fair about this shit (to a degree anyways): "Unfortunatley I can't revive people who never died!"

Kakashi: "What."

*queue Kakashi going on a mission to find Obito and becoming a sparkly magical girl along the way wooo we love to see it*

3; The great dilemma, aka TIME TRAVEL !!!!!!!!!!!!

He failed Itachi, leading to the deaths of the entire Uchiha clan.

I'm so sorry you guys time travel is like 90% of what I do and I don't think it's gonna change any time soon

So, Kakashi is approached by Kyubey after the Uchiha massacre. At this point he has a whole fucking list of people he might want to try to revive or save, but he can only make a wish so big. He has enough power to wish one or two people back from the dead— an honestly incredibly feat in itself —but not everyone.

He failed his team, leading to their deaths and Naruto's sad orphan life.

He failed countless mission partners over the years, watching shinobi's fall dead left and right because of a wrong call or knife thrown a second too late

Now for his relationship with Kyubey—

He can't wish them all back. But he can wish for a second chance.

And yeah ok as I'm writing this I'm realizing we've turned right back around and started a fr Madoka magica AU I didn't mean to do that actually, oops.

But yeah time travel magical girl Kakashi !!! Given the time to really think about his wish and too many people to save, he wishes for a second chance.

Does he end up in his kid body or does he stay an 18 year old?

Is he alone or does Kyubey (having learned his mistake from Homura and Madoka) make sure to come along with?

Does his sharingan somehow pull Obito back with him or is he really alone?

Fuck ok actually as I write this one I think this might be The One, The AU, so we're gonna shelve this for another post on its own so we can keep just talking ab the set up.

So disclaimer, I haven't actually watched Madoka in forever, but I think it's safe to say that Kyubey is honestly pretty decent when it comes to guiding his magical girls? I mean, up until they fall off a cliff of despair and turn into monsters, but till then he holds up his end of the contract really well? He'll generally come when they call, answer their questions when asked, check in on them to make sure they're adapting to the lifestyle, sometimes even help keep them informed about local magical girls or witches or just give out free advice.

Don't get me wrong, Kyubey is a fucking rat and not to be trusted, he tricks little girls into literally selling their souls, but he has a clear work ethic and method. He's just also incapable of feeling human emotion and seems genuinely confused at why people would be alarmed or upset at, you know, everything.

But I think that's what would make him work so well in a shinobi world! Especially if he looks at the world and it's people and decides that upfront honesty would be the best play in recruiting someone as his magical girl test drive.

I think it could be interesting if Kakashi and Kyubey could have an actually somewhat positive relationship. Well, as positive as it can get for a traumatized ninja boy and a space rat with no real concept of human emotions outside of what it's read in a textbook about manipulating little girls.

They have an alarmingly functional workplace relationship. Kakashi signed a contract knowing what kind of death it'd probably lead him to (and it's not like it's that different from the end he already knows he'll face one day) and Kyubey is contractually bound to stick around and lend a helping hand and a bit of companionship when applicable.

Also, with Kakashi being his first magical girl test run in this world, he's just kind of monitoring the project? He wants to see it to the end before he gets started on widespread magical girl contracts, because again, logical emotionless little rat thing who knows better than to assume that since it's gone well so far it'll end well too. He wants to collect ALL the data before settling in for good.

Kyubey is giving Kakashi weirdly reaffirming (and much needed) positive reinforcement in all of this. He's impressed with how well the project is going! Kakashi is going through so much constant misery that despite somehow not turning into a witch out of despair, he's still giving a near constant output of that same energy Kyubey farms that usually only comes out when a magical girl witches out. Maybe that's also actually something related to the chakra coils— instead of giving one big explosion of energy when they turn into a witch, the people of this world are able to give a continuous stream of it just by existing and being miserable. Which also gives Kyubey even more of a reason to want to see Kakashi keep living! This guy is a one man army when it comes to energy! It's great!

Also it'd be kind of fucked up but in a funny way if Kyubey straight up told Kakashi this (Maybe Kakashi actually asks to be kept up to date on all of Kyubey's little project notes of studying him?) And it being somewhat of a comfort to him. Like. Yeah, he's a failure cursed to always have those he loves die in his arms or at his hands, but at least his suffering is helping the universe in some way! That's something, right? Right???

Anyways, power and appearence time

So like, obviously there's a VERY large chance that Kakashi would end up with some sort of healing power as a magical girl. Because yknow, there is basically no universe where Kakashi doesn't use his wish to either heal someone, protect someone, or bring someone back from the dead— which lines up pretty directly to a healing based power.

But just normal healing is too boring so lets get spicy with it! Let's lay out some power options!

1) Blood healing

So my favorite twist on a normal healing power is a simple one; He regenerates stupid fast, to the point that he can even reattach limbs, but it's all in his blood. As long as his blood is touching a wound, it's healed in seconds to minutes.

This is also means his blood can also be used to heal others! For good or for bad. Fights can get a lot more complicated when your enemy realizes that they can use your own healing methods on them— even if the blood does only work on what it can touch, so they gotta risk shoving that shit in there if the wound is too deep.

If you want an extra bit of spice on top of that also, you can say the blood doesn't just heal people. Maybe it can heal any living thing— plants included

(I'm ngl I typed all this out then kind of squinted at my screen and went wait isn't this what Karin does? I don't actually know the details of her powers no one tell me if I'm right, I don't actually care)

2) Wound substitution

Here's an incredibly in character ability; He can take on the wounds of his comrades. They get hurt but he takes the hit. It'd so fit his self sacrificing ass too.

Maybe he can have advanced healing from the wounds he steals from his companions, maybe he only inherits them by halves, maybe it's the full deal.

Maybe it's involuntary or maybe he can only do it on purpose. Involuntary could be interesting and offer serious consequences down the line.

I'd love to see a dog themed magical girl Kakashi I think it would cure all of my mental illnesses and give me like 30 more.

3) Sheilds but make them zappy

Thunder shields could be interesting. Maybe he can use the shields to encase his limbs to deliver an extra oomf or smthn, just for funzies.

4) Something to do with eyes

You know I gotta at least consider smthn with eyes, like cmon. Whether it's because his wish was phrased in a way that could catch on it, or it's just how the magic interacted with his sharingan, I wanna see some eye stuff!!!

Maybe whatever healing ability he has is all centered in the eye or smthn, or maybe if it's like a self healing ability he regenerates eyes first or smthn idk.

4) Time powers ✨️

You know I had to.

In the route where he wishes for a second chance he so gets time powers. It's very cool. It's also very very fucking OP so it'd be tricky to work around in giving him a fr obstacle. Maybe if Obito comes back with him, the sharingan somehow makes him immune? Like, whenever Kakashi stops time, Obito isn't stopped.

I'm ngl Im running low on power ideas rn so let's move on, but like leave that open ended

Would Kakashi's magical girl outfit be something that adapts to his style and is created by his subconscious desires, as I'm pretty sure is accurate according to Madoka Magica lore? Yes. But do I think it would be funny to put him in a fluffy magical girl skirt? Even bigger yes, put that man in a dress and heels immediatley.

For Kakashi's soul gem, I think it'd be really fun if instead of taking the form of a ring, it was instead either an earring or— hear me out guys, lip ring or tongue piercing

It's perfect! He already hides his face, no one would even know it was there! Also both lip rings and tongue piercings are so cute

His soul gem is red with a silver case and we all know why. When he transforms it doesn't glow red tho, it glows white because something something hatake white chakra or something, idk

Anyways this has been sitting in my drafts for like 2 weeks now, so I'm gonna go ahead and hit post even tho I'm not totally satisfied with what I have here. Better to put it out for the few who'd enjoy it than keep it in the trunk bc I'm unsatisfied, right? Maybe I'll come back to it later, idk.

[killershrike]

yall I had such a strange dream i think I've been watching too many alien movies because I had a dream me and a team of astronauts were sent up into space under a false mission

And first me and a girl on the team were the last ones left and we were trying to escape when we looked outside and saw that there was an alien ship on its way to earth covered in the black goo and we were like "no, we have to die" and on the alien plant the remaining girl from the team could see the ship coming and sent a bomb up towards us and exploded us

And then as I "woke up" I saw all the people on the team again, we were all suited up like we were just about to start the mission again. I could tell something was wrong and in the wall there was a circle that looked like an eye and i said "an eye.."

The captain of the team said "what?" And then the eye opened and it revealed the inside of the space ship we had just been inside and exploded.

We started freaking out, panicking, trying to get out of the ship but it's automatically set to leave.

We "woke up" again, and this time we were on Earth, we thought we were all dead and in some sort of afterlife. Until a massive shadow started to cover the earth, and we looked up, seeing the alien ship with black goo hurdling towards earth. I close my eyes, hoping it to wake up and open them, in the ship again.

I was looking around the ship, watching everyone scream. One of the girls was shouting and crying, "I just want to die! Please! Just let me die!"

And for some reason, I realized something and started to self destruct the ship. Someone asked me what I was doing and I said, "We won't end up trapped here if we never come in the first place."

The ship explodes, we wake up again, and I'm naked on a cold floor in the middle of a massive room with tons of bunkbeds. Suddenly, people start to fall from over the bunk railings and crash to the ground. I can see that they're all me and the team, us over and over again but with eyes shut and zombie like as they walk over the railing and fall to the ground.

I close my eyes and panic, when I open them, we're back at the ship, the team preparing to leave.

I rush inside and start to activate the self-destruct, ignoring the way people start to scream and shout. The captain tries to stop me, grabs me, and asks what the hell I'm doing. I look up at him, crying, terrified to the core, and say, "Remember. Remember what's going to happen."

Realization passes through his eyes, and he lets me go. He goes to sit down, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, ignoring the way the team shouts.

Before I press the button, I silently beg the universe to let us go and let it end before pressing it. I remember fire engulfing the ship, me, and the team. But even as I can feel fire burning my body alive, I start to laugh in relief, and the rest of the team joins me.

Then I actually fully woke up. Someone tell me what the actual fuck is wrong with my brain right now cause that was such a fucked up dream

[l0t4n]

YEARLY CHECKUP

a/n Dr. Mal Practice, MD will see you now. Also sorry I am NOT familiar with the interworkings of the Devildom medical system, if anyone is more enlightened on the canonical aspects than I feel free to lmk. First NSFW fic posted here too - are we excited or are we excited teehee...

Contains NSFW. Dubcon (verbal consent, but power imbalance). Medical/clinical/otherwise loveless sexual contact. A little slutshaming and exhibitionism. Belphegor receiving handjob, GN reader, genitals unspecified.

It is incredibly simple to become a doctor in the Devildom. Demons are very hardy; nowhere near as finicky as humans are when it comes to the intricacies of care. Further, even if a demon contracts a serious issue, they're usually just stuck that way with no cure ever. Because of these two factors, there's no real concern for injury or death amongst patients - it virtually never happens, so they let practically anyone become a medical practitioner, no schooling or specialization required beyond on the job training. The pay is nowhere near as high as it is for human doctors because of that, but you get very few patients and a lot of time to sit about doing nothing, which is preferable for some.

Today, your job as a physician has been unreasonably hectic. Most days, you have no patients, totalling five or less a week, usually with minor ailments, many externally caused - a cold or a bad cut, neither of which you need to be especially careful with treating, since it's almost always issues that heal on their own quickly. Recently, however, you've had an inordinate number of patients for seemingly no reason - from the start of the work day until the end, you just had appointment after appointment with little time in between. It's the last patient of the day and you are fully prepared to leave, even if it requires you to cut even more corners than usual to treat them. It's already dark out, and the cold white light of the examination room sears its way past your eyeballs and into your brain, giving you a headache. Right as you rub your hands against your face to alleviate some of the pain, your patient walks in.

The sound of the door opening catches you by surprise, yet the patient says nothing as he promptly seats himself at the end of the examination bed, wax paper crinkling underneath him. He's very languid in his movements, and slouches from where he sits. It takes you a moment to look away, your sore head processing at a slower rate than normal. You swivel your chair around to face the computer on the desk beside you, pulling up his patient file quickly, as to make up for lost time. You fill the dead air in the meantime with a drawn out sigh. “Belphegor? What seems to be the problem today?”

“I fell asleep while walking down the stairs the other day, and hit my stomach hard on the way down.” His voice is quiet and sleepy. You don't really question how someone falls asleep while walking - regardless, falls are a common issue, and cycling through the potential concerns is like muscle memory to you.

“Any bruising or sharp pain?” You type his complaint into the form on the monitor before you.

“It's a little bruised, but pain-wise, it's just a bit sore…” You nod, typing the last of the notes and rising to your feet. You pull a pair of blue latex gloves from a box beside you, putting them on with practiced efficiency.

“We're going to take a quick look. Lay back for me.” You walk up beside the exam bed and motion as if you're pushing him back by his chest, without making contact. He complies, falling back easily. Your gloved hands catch the hem of his shirt, already risen up just a little, and pull it up to his ribs. His skin is pale, the light purple bruise visible on the left side of his waist, forming a line that fades out as it approaches the middle of his stomach. You press firmly across his lower abdomen, beneath his belly button, careful not to touch the injury too roughly. “Does this hurt?” You look up as you ask, only noticing then how his eyes have shut. He nods “no”, head flopping to the side after. You see now how he fell asleep going down the stairs. Returning to the physical exam, you press on both sides of his waist, just above his pelvic bones. You do this just a bit harder than before, a bit jealous that he's falling asleep and you're still on the clock, and you watch his otherwise undefined abdominal muscles flex a little bit beneath your hands. “Still no pain?” When you look up this time, he's just barely raised by his elbows, his face flushed pink - yet, he doesn't look at you.

“No,” he says it quietly, and his demeanor has totally shifted. Just moments before, he was relaxed enough to nearly fall asleep during the exam, but now he seems almost embarrassed. You look down, only not noticing where your hands rest, framing the apex of where his thighs meet his hips. The loose pants he wears do little to hide his arousal underneath. You stare uncomfortably long at his dick, noticing the light trail of black and white hair that goes up to his belly button. Once your overworked brain catches up with the situation, your head turns back up to look at him. He's fully propped up on his elbows now, and his hands are fidgeting with the pleather coating of the bed beneath him. He makes eye contact with you for a second, before glancing back away. You remember to move your hands, but right as they slip from his thighs, his own hand grips yours. A few uncomfortable seconds pass, before he says, “You can touch me, if you want.” His voice is bashful and sweet, but you don't miss the slight tremor in his voice, almost a bit sinister.

Your exhausted mental state feels almost refreshed, and before you can consider things like appropriate practitioner-patient relationship, you're pushing him up by his hips, motioning for him to lay on his back, which he does obediently, his hands nervously playing with the paper he lies on. You can only imagine what about this situation in particular made him hard - your head hurts just dully enough to deny you a solid answer. You leave your gloves on as you slowly, clinically grope his dick over his pants, the other hand resting on his thigh. He shivers and sighs beneath you, opening his legs wider for better access. Your movements are slow and methodical, careful not to show any emotion on your face. An idea hits you then - with no explanation, you stop touching him, moving back over to your desk. You feel Belphie’s eyes follow you, confused and concerned, as you pull a small packet of lubricant out of a drawer. Normally, these are used for various, non-sexual procedures, only sometimes involving the genitalia. Not today, though!

As you approach the bed again, Belphie is staring up at you worriedly, as if he's done something wrong. “Take off your pants.” You have difficulty keeping a level, emotionless tone of voice as you order him around, and you see the relief hit him, right before he leans over to roughly shove his pants and underwear down to his mid-thigh. Soon, you're standing in between his legs again, his cock bobbing against his navel in anticipation. You rip the gel packet open, squeezing a bit out onto the head of his dick. He jumps a little from the cold temperature, but quickly suppresses his shock as your gloved hand grips his shaft, thumb rubbing the lubricant across the head. He shutters again beneath you, whining at the contact, his hips rising to meet your hand while his leg blindly kicks at your side, trying to find a place to perch against you, hold you in place. You ignore it at first, but he keeps trying to wedge his knee under your arm or over your shoulder, blocked by his half-undone pants. You stop your slow movements once again, stepping back and out of his reach.

This would be easier if he didn't insist on wearing those boots. Your hand is still slick with gel, and you don't want to dirty your gloves just yet. “Take off your shoes… So we can continue the exam, of course.” He's visibly annoyed about the interruption, and rises a bit slower than before as he moves to unlace his boots, kicking them off in a hurry, before his pants follow - by the time he's laying back again, his pants are hanging off his left ankle, only his socks remaining fully on, while his knees are pulled up to his chest. He stares up at you from under his hair, already messy from the way he's been writhing underneath your touch. When you don't immediately step back over to him, he wiggles his hips lewdly in your direction. The moment your hand is back on his dick, the gel has warmed under your palm, and he's quickly arching his back in pleasure. It seems like he's afraid you'll decide not to let him finish, or that, between all these delays, your appointment together will end before then. As a result, he continually tries to show off for you - although, he could be a bit more careful with his volume.

His moans are breathy with no space inbetween, almost like panting at times. His voice pitches into a whine every time you rub over the head of his dick, and the rather slow pace you move at doesn't seem to help. He took no time getting worked up, and he's moaning like he's close - though, you doubt how much you can trust the authenticity of his vocalizations. You rub along his shaft slowly, in a very linear up-and-down pattern, your thumb pointing away from your fist to rub against his slit every time you move upwards. Your other hand is wrapped around the base of his dick, holding him in place for “examination”. It's clear he's getting tired of the pace you've set, trying to rock himself into your fist at a faster rate. You tighten your grip against the base of his cock, causing him to jolt at the pressure. Leaning over him, you move your hand to focus on the head of his dick, agonizingly overstimulating him.

“You need to keep it down. We don't want anyone interrupting our private appointment. It's unbecoming,” you say through gritted teeth. You expect him to back down at that, but he grins widely in excitement and mischief - you quickly realize, from the prospect of being found out. He immediately throws his head back, loudly moaning like a whore. Only then do you decide to quicken your pace in frustration, going from slow and methodical to quick and messy in an instant. The gel on his dick fills the room with sticky, wet noises, combined with the way he groans in satisfaction at the pace change surely leaves no question as to what's occurring now to any passersby. Still leaning over him as you roughly get him off, you take the chance to look him over - the way his fingers helplessly grip at the bed beneath him, his stomach heaving with every exaggerated moan he utters - and, most importantly, his fucked out expression, half-hidden behind his hair. His eyes are shut, eyebrows worried and, of course, his lips are parted for his frequent moans and pants to escape. A bit of drool has collected at the corner of his mouth.

He peers up at you, opening his eyes for just a second, before they close again tight, his entire body trembling. You look down just in time to see him cumming, each buck of his hips painting his stomach further as he frantically humps your fist. You continue touching him throughout his orgasm, until he's jolting from oversensitivity. You remove your hand from him, slipping your now-dirtied gloves off and unceremoniously dumping them in the trash. Your patient lay panting on the bed, half-clothed, most of his abdomen slick with cum and lube - and you're already off the clock. You place a box of tissues next to his exhausted body. “Leave once you've cleaned up. I'm done for today.” Just as you move to walk away, a hand grips your wrist, surprisingly strong. You turn to see him sitting up now, looking right at you.

“I'm not done yet. Keep me company a bit longer?”

[thessalian]

Faerun!Alisaie vs Prologue (Again)

((Yep. I decided to do it. Why not?))

Aboard a Nautiloid, being leapt upon by a githyanki

Lae'zel: Abomination! This is your end!

Alisaie: Okay, I have bird. Sort of. You have ... frog, I think. So long as neither of us has squid features anywhere, we're probably okay!

Merciful thought-sharing spasm stops that in its tracks

Lae'zel: Ah. I see. Survival is paramount now. We will--

Alisaie: Yeah, yeah, I know, to the helm; Us over here's been on about it.

Lae'zel: So long as that ... thing fights for us, it is well. Now, we must remove these imps and--

Alisaie: *shoots an imp directly through the head with a crossbow*

Lae'zel: ..............................wut.

Alisaie: 'We' must trust me to know how to defend myself, okay?

Lae'zel: That was not what--

Alisaie: Later, okay? Incoming imps!

Lae'zel: At least I get to kill something...

A few dead imps later...

Lae'zel: Please explain to me why you are searching the corpses. And looking disappointed.

Alisaie: I'm working on the assumption that we're going to survive this mess, so we're going to end up somewhere that we need things. Like food. And healing. Which usually costs coin. Also I am looking for-- aha! *holds up rapier* Perfect!

Lae'zel: To explain my ... disbelief earlier. I saw the lute upon your back, and reasoned that you were a bard. Yet beyond your wings, I saw no magic employed--

Alisaie: Well, unless you want an accidental Thunderwave to the back, I need something that'll let me fight something that's directly in my face.

Lae'zel: Can you even use one of those?

Alisaie: Well, there's bards ... and then there's bards.

Lae'zel: ...I will remind myself that so long as you can fight, I have no need for you to make sense.

Room with a screaming cleric, and Alisaie looting the place some more

Lae'zel: You will constantly make me retract any and all statements. We need to go to the helm. This diversion is pointless!

Alisaie: I am not leaving someone stuck in one of those pods. They're stuffy, they're freaky, and they smell disgusting. *searches a side room*

Lae'zel: That is hardly a priority--

Alisaie: Also, we need all the help we can get in this fight to get control of the ship. *comes back in carrying a rune and assorted spare change*

Lae'zel: ...Granted, but--

Alisaie: And unless you want me to bust open that pod and fly off with its hopefully less grumpy occupant, leaving you on this doomed ship o' squid, you just go right ahead and keep pissing me off. *inserts rune into socket* ...blgh.

Lae'zel: ...What? Are you ceremorphosing?!?

Alisaie: No; just this thing needs to be yelled at by the tadpole in my brain in order to work, so-- There we go.

Shadowheart: *falling out of the pod* ...Thank you. ......You keep dangerous company.

Lae'zel; Alisaie: Which one?

Mind-Sharing Thing: *happens*

Lae'zel; Alisaie: Oh.

Shadowheart: Let me come with you. As long as you're dangerous to our captors, you're good to have around regardless.

Lae'zel: ...Must we?

Alisaie: Yes now shut up. Alisaie, by the way.

Shadowheart: Shadowheart. Just a moment-- *rummages in pod; retrieves Important Doohickey* Ah. There we go.

Alisaie: Cool. Great. Let's go. I can kind of feel Lae'zel's frustration in my brain and it itches.

Lae'zel: Tchk.

Alisaie: That is the best disgusted noise I have ever heard and I am adding it to my repertoire as of right this second.

Lae'zel: Must you?

Alisaie: You're too busy being frustrated with me to be freaking out about your situation, right? And please note I only said that because you'll be too frustrated about being read so relatively easily to think too much about the rest of it.

Lae'zel: ...............

Shadowheart: *snrk*

At the helm, in the middle of a devil / illithid fight:

Lae'zel: And you're sure you would not rather I take command?

Alisaie: I'll give you one instruction you'll like. Go forth and kill shit.

Shadowheart: What are you going to do?

Alisaie: *takes wing; lands relatively close to the helm long enough to shoot an imp in the face*

More Hell-Beasties: *materialise in her way*

Shadowheart: oshit-- *dashes; Shield of Faith*

Alisaie: *Thunderwaves the hellbeasties*

Shadowheart: Oh. ...Right. Bard.

Alisaie: *reaches the transponder* Well, this is gonna put me off squid for life... *connects stuff*

Dragon: OHAI.

Alisaie: LAE'ZEL!!! IS THIS YOURS?!?

Lae'zel: *while stabbing a hellboar* Hardly! I have not yet earned the hon--oh.

Dragon: *breathes fire right in Alisaie's face*

Nautiloid: **POIT**

Alisaie: *slams into a wall next to an illithid*

Illithid: *looks at her*

Alisaie: .........Fuck this shit; I'm out.

Little Niggling Voice At The Back Of Her Head: but i'm supposed to rescue you--

Alisaie: *side-eyes illithid so hard* If that's you? Tentacles are not a facial care regimen and I can take care of myself! *flies out of hole in hull ... and is beaned in the head by falling debris*

Little Niggling Voice: there we go...

Rest of Cutscene: *works as intended, but needed to be slightly altered because of winged Tav*

[strawbxrryneptune]

HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

You're the head cheerleader at UA.

We're gonna say its UA university, so like class 4-A.

Bakugou is your boyfriend

He plays on the football team 😫

But he got suspended for a little because he saw Deku (yes I'm adding Deku in this, @ me why dont you)

Deku plays on the rival team, he switched schools cause he felt like he wasnt reaching his full potential.

Bakugou basically broke Deku's mf leg, it's a surprise he wasnt kicked off the team, but the he's the star player.

The only reason the UA football team is even in the nationals is cause of Bakugou.

Anyway, Kiri and Sero were roasting the absolute shit outta him for getting suspended.

"PLEASE- HE COULDN'T EVEN KEEP THE BEST SPOT ON THE TEAM KEKEKEK"

*LMAO* "DAMN BAKUBRO, YOU GOT FLAMED"

Bakugou was ready to blast all their asses to the moon and back, until Denki said that he probably couldnt even keep a spot on the cheer squad, it's even more brutal than football and the outfits are too risque.

It went dead silent when poor bby said that, cause everyone knew not to challenge Bakugou.

He immediately stood up from his spot on the couch in the study hall, marching over to Denki and grabbing him by the collar.

"More brutal than football? Hah, you're out of your goddamn mind, Sparky. I can do that shit anyday, even in that girly ass skirt."

Denki smirked

"Wanna bet?"

And that's how he found himself wearing a custom made UA cheer uniform, face red in embarrassment but still determined to not chicken out. If he got through this, he'd get $50 from everyone in the squad except for Mina

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

When Bakugou had come to you, red in the face and hands shaking in embarrassment, asking for a cheer uniform, you almost passed out in shock.

The Katsuki Bakugou, star Football player, top of his class in strength and brains, wanted to cheer? Nah, you were buggin. He wouldn't tell you why, only a harsh, "You gonna give me the uniform or not?" Before giving you a quick and kind of violent kiss on the cheek, scampering off with the bright orange fabric in his hands.

Leading up to the big game for the finals, he would hang around during practice and watch you command the girls, having them jump and twist into complicated positions. You spot him peeping and called him over, teasingly asking him if he could do a cartwheel, not expecting him to actually do one. He has almost perfect form, a little wobbly on the drop down but beautiful nonetheless. You pursed your lips, looking him up and down before clapping your hands loudly, causing him to jump.

"Change of plans, ladies! We now have a new member joining the team, at least for the game next week. I'll need you to be understanding and patient in teaching him the routine, and no making fun!!"

The other girls nod understandingly, surrounding him despite his yells and protests.

You smirk to yourself.

This is gonna be so much fun.

♡♡

A week passes, and you're in the changing room with the girls, handing out their uniforms. You get to the bottom of the bin, and realize theres a pantsuit. You widen your eyes in shock. If the pantsuit is in there, than that means-

"Y/N IM GOING TO KILL YOU"

Shit.

You jog out of the locker rooms, looking around until you see a shaking head of ash blonde hair. You make your way over to him, stifling a laugh when you see him wearing large sweats, the outline of the orange skirt peeking out. He doesnt have a sweatshirt on, so you're blessed with the sight of his pecs and abs bulging out, sweat already dripping down his body due to the heat of the stadium and the embarrassment racking his body.

"I'm so sorry, Katsu. I didnt realize I gave you the girl version of the uniform."

He scoffs, subconsciously reaching up to tug at the crop top.

"Just get me the damn boy version, you shitty-"

"ALRIIIGHT EVERYONE, ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE!!"

You both jump at the sound of the announcers voice, the crowd roaring back.

"WELL THEN GET READY, FOLKS. WE HAVE A WONDERFUL PREFORMANCE FROM THE UA CHEER SQAUD. GIVE EM A HAND."

You look at Bakugou in apology, before rushing the girls out, gesturing for him to hurry as you run out onto the field, the UA side cheering loudly while the rival team boos. Bakugou let's out a huff, shoving his sweats down and running out with you, not looking up. The minute the crowd sees him running with you, the stadium fills with laughter and wolf whistles, some of his teammates fanning themselves in mockery. He growls at them, intimidating but not scary due to the bright orange crop top and skirt he's donning.

The music starts and everyone gets into formation, Bakugou at the far right and you at the left. You start to do your routine, shaking your hips and yelling along to the music, moving around and doing flips. You form a pyramid, Bakugou on the base and you somewhat in the middle. The top girl flips off, does a twirl in the sir and lands in front of you, shouting the UA cheer before you all follow suit, cheering on your team while shimmying around. You turn to see how Bakugou is doing during the end, and the sight that greets you is heaven;

He's heaving for hair, sweat slicking down his hair and dripping down his abs, the skirt flowing and moving along with his thick thigh, which tremble from exertion. He's panting hard, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to nail a pose, wobbling slightly. You gulp hard, shaking your head to clear the thoughts starting to surface, thoughts of fucking him in that uniform, sucking his cock from under the skirt, riding him in your uniform, lifting the hem to see where you're connected. Ripping the crop top to see his puffy nipples, making him moan and tremble underneath you from the pleasure, calling him a cute little slut for wearing that little piece of fabric.

You break from your thought when the music cuts out, roars and screams deafening, even the opposing team cheering for you and the beefy man in the skirt.

You all bow and trot off the center felikd, making your way to the benches you drink water before the team starts playing. Bakugou makes his way over to you, gulping down water from his bottle. Some of it spills out his mouth, rolling down his throat, scattering when his Adam's apple bobs. It makes a trail into the swell of his pecs, disappearing. You look up his body slowly, face heating in embarrassment when you meet his eyes, a cocky smirk on his face when he realizes you were ogling him.

"Ya see sumthin' you want, Baby?"

You grit your teeth at him, grabbing his collar and dragging him off into the space between the bleachers.

He sputters at you when you reach under his skirt and grab the barely concealed bugle there, smirking up at him.

"See sumthin you want, Baby?"

You taunt, rubbing him through the fabric of his boxers.

He groans from above you, muttering out a breathy "Its from adrenaline-"

Before pushing his lips against yours, sucking your lip into his mouth while his hips stutter against your hands. You pull away, grinning when you see him chase your lips.

"Are you sure it's from adrenaline, or is it cause you were prancin around out there like some pretty little whore, hm?"

Bakugou clenches his eyes shut, blushing hard and growling low in his throat.

"Shut the fuck up. I didnt do it for that-"

"Well you still did it, and you looked so good, too, 'Suki. Wanted to suck your cock the whole time."

He whimpers at that, hips moving forward to push against your hand more, pre leaking out and making his boxers sticky against your palm.

"Mm, you like that? Like me praising you? Calling you a good boy and telling you how much I wanted your fat cock shoved down my throat? "

His head falls against your shoulder, moaning into the side of your neck as his balls tighten, cum soaking his boxers and dripping out onto your hand. You lick up his neck, making him shudder.

"There you go, pretty boy."

♡♡

When the game is over, he stomps over to the squad, snatching their money aggressively before making him way back to you, scowling when you land a harsh smack against his ass.

"Is it just me, or is Bakugou glowing?"

♡♡♡

@hanji-is-life your Bakugou in a skirt inspired me to write this Bakugou in a skirt.

Masterlist

[tsukishimas-shortcake]

Relationship Headcanons

↦ Character(s): Hakkai Shiba x fem!reader

↦ Rating/Warning: No rating though there are some light mentions of abuse (if you have read the manga you are aware of what I am talking about, I’m not going very deep into it though it literally just mentions it), mentions of anxiety attacks (no detail though), fluff, not proof read

↦ Word count: 1.8k (longer than planned, sections are bolded)

↦ Your Momo’s Receipt: Hello~ I’m post yet another TR headcanon and this was requested by the lovely @strawbub I hope this doesn’t disappoint, it did get longer than planned but I enjoyed writing it. I'll prob do a part two that's more of a scenario based on your first date or something since I didn't go into it here. Please note: for those of you who don’t know my blog is currently under construction, meaning I will not be updating my masterlist for the time being.

So how did you guys meet, well mostly because of Yuzuha,

One day in like elementary you’re walking home and you see this super pretty middle school girl just like yelling at this small group of guys

The guys end up running off just because they don’t wanna deal with her or the attention she's drawn to them

Behind her was a boy, taller than her but obviously younger. You didn’t assume they knew eachother though.

The boy and yuzuha began walking in opposite directions because one was going home while the other was going to pick up something like groceries

You’re so entranced by how she stood up to them yet she’s a girl who was far smaller and you end up catching up to her, almost stepping on her heels

You end up absent mindedly following her into the grocery store and eventually she just freezes, turns, and stare directly at you

Your eyes widen since you must’ve been staring and she just goes “may I ask why you’re following me?” And you explain how cool she was earlier. She invites you over for dinner (esp since her older brother won’t be home) and figured it’d be good for Hakkai to meet someone his age

You end up going over but Hakkai didn’t come down to eat so you never actually got to meet him, though from then on you would see Yuzuha every so often, visit every other weekend or so

But no matter how often you came over the next few months, you never once met hakkai,

That was until you both reached the end of your middle school education and we’re about to begin high school

You had gone over because you were going to borrow an old work book from Yuzuha, and when you go to knock on the door the door opens before your closed fist could hit it, instead hitting a firm chest

You blush and quickly apologize but the person in front of you doesn’t move at all, doesn’t say anything and almost looks like they drifted into space with their dead stare

You assume this is yuzuha’s older brother because you’ve also never met him and you immediately turn to walk away but Yuzuha calls over hakkai’s shoulder

“Y/N-Chan! You just got here where are you going?” This was def not yuzuha’s older brother. There’s no way she’d be that happy with him around; oh my god. Realization hit, the guy who you hit (though it was more of a tap) was hakkai.

The hakkai you had only caught a glimpse of in yuzuha’s photos, never talked to or actually seen in person despite going to the same school and living in the same neighborhood

He must hate you. That’s why he avoids you. That’s def why - is what you think

Yuzuha drags hakkai back inside and invites you in; you sit down with them in the living room and watch hakkai visibly relax now that he’s inside his house, his own space, with a pillow behind him and a blanket covering his lower half, he almost curls up into it as he continues to avoid your stare

“Hi hakkai…Kun? Im L/N Y/N” you say and you see his face dead pan once again

Yuzuha can be heard laughing from the kitchen as she comes back in.

She leans over and begins explaining that hakkai literally just freezes with any interaction between him and girls who aren’t in his family

You nod, thinking maybe it’s an anxiety thing? Which is the case with you, but only because he’s been watching you since you’ve come over (not in a creepy way) wanting to and working the courage up to talk to you

The 5th or so time you came over after that encounter he was inches away from introducing himself before the house phone rang causing everyone to kind of “wake up” in a sense

Every time since then he gets closer and closer but isn’t able to say anything; he even realizes he has a crush on you.

The way you sit when you do homework and how cute you look when you’re focused.

How your forehead scrunches up when you’re trying to figure something out and you end up just sitting back with a small huff followed by yuzuha’s signature laughter.

It’s also a huge thing that you get along with Yuzuha.

So enough with first meeting time for the confession.

He ends up confessing accidentally. He didn’t know you were coming over to begin with so he was flustered out of his mind. And how was he supposed to know you hadn’t actually fallen asleep and you could hear him over the tv

The tv was more white noise than anything and the day was hot since it was the middle of summer causing the window to be open and the sound of soft wind and small birds to drift in; this was the hot that makes you tired so you were all sprawled out of just sitting in a daze

So while resting your head on the table you’re dozing in and out but then you hear hakkai begin to speak, something he never really did around you

Now did you and hakkai text? Yes. Did it take him an hour to reply because his brain would explode when you replied to him? Yes. But was it a start to communication? Also a yes.

You hear him say your name quietly before he moved closer, you can feel his gaze on your features

“I like you” is all he says. Simple and sweet. But you sit there in shock, trying not to blush so he’ll have no idea you heard him but he can tell because your forehead scrunches

You heard him and are focused on if you should reply or not. And he knows that.

You open your eyes and just look up at him, he’s closer than expected. His hand close to yours on the floor and he reaches over and grabs it lightly. Hoping you’ll also return the gesture by holding his hand instead of leaving your hand limp inside his.

And you do, thank goodness, and Hakkai almost mentally can’t handle it.

Once you start dating it’s more so just hanging out at his house or yours; however he talks a bit more and you text a lot more. He’s gotten better at replying. It usually takes him like 15 minutes now

He’s kinda stressed about your relationship but not due to anything you or him did

He’s stressed because of the mentality his older brother gave him

Is he even allowed to be this happy?

He finally has someone thats small enough and naive enough that he can protect you; compared to constantly being protected it’s a sudden, strong, yet good change for him

He’s touch s t a r v e d

Yes Yuzuha shows affection; but he stopped accepting her hugs when he was around 8 just because he physically wasn’t able to handle it due to his bruises and such

But with you, even with his bruises and all you take care of him. Able to coax him into using medicines and toning down the physical violence (that he can control himself)

He also finds it super soothing when you lightly brush over his scars (especially those that his brother gave him), it helps him believe that scars are only physical and can fade with help

One thing that stresses him out the most is trying to hide you from his brother. Any time you leave something at the house its easy to pass it off as yuzuha's but when it comes to things like photos he has with you, he can't hang them up, show them off, or have them as his phone Lock Screen, etc. because he just really doesn't want his brother to know and target you since he'll then know that you're his weakness (aside from yuzuha as well)

Sometimes won't explain why he can't hang out and has legit pushed you out of his house before at the last minute notice of his brother coming home

Will always make sure you get home safe though, usually by having Yuzuha go with you since then she can just say you're a friend from school

Your parents love him, though they were a bit hesitant it became a "you always have a place to stay" because they learned about their family situation from you and yuzuha. So expect him to spend the night when he's too scared to deal with his brother. Same with yuzuha. (yes I know this isn't yuzuha head canons but its hard to write for him without mentioning her when they're so close)

We're talking three person sleep overs. Yuzuha and you of course share the bed and Hakkai takes some time to even set foot in your room much less sleep on a mattress that's on the floor

He has a small heart attack every time he comes into your room because he's overwhelmed with everything, he's never been so comfortable and it makes him feel restless. Like he's never and I mean n e v e r been less stressed and slept better than when he does so in your room

The smell, the colors, just being surrounded by you is something that completely changes his mood

Once showed up after he fought with his brother, tears in his eyes and clothes a bit tattered and you just pulled him to your room, and sat down with him.

You laid on your bed with him laying down onto of you, head on your chest as you rubbed his head and only said a few words "its not your fault"

He ends up crying so hard he falls asleep and gets dehydrated and you have to make him drink a bunch of water when he finally wakes up.

NSFW

super fucking careful w you

almost annoyingly so, but you're understanding

He knows that he might be taking things frustratingly slow but he knows that since you understand and know his history that you can help him get through it

Your first time you think you'll have to call it off because he's shaking so bad

"baby... are you sure it won't hurt you?" he keeps asking.

pretty sure that's the longest its ever taken him to finish because he was so anxious

despite being so slow and hesitant, late he isn't too scared to get a bit rougher

but im not talking anything crazy im talking like he's willing to pull your hair a bit or nip a bit harder at your neck.

Please never ask him to do anything like degrade you or some type of harsh physical rough shit, he can't

like literally im 99% sure that if you ask him to choke you or something he will pass out because of the anxiety attack he would have at even the thought.

in short with nsfw though he is sweet boy. He's a switch through and through. Loves when you take care of everything because then he doesn't have to be scared of hurting you.

[stxleslyds]

you know how dc keeps forcing this sudden "we're a family" narrative out of nowhere? I'd love batfam content but years of hurt among them make the recent content seem unearned.

bc you know more about dick and jason than the others, how do you think they would realistically become family to each other, or would it even be in character for them to be the "bros" they're written as now?

Oh anon, this question is amazing, I love it! I saw it when I woke up and since then my brain has been brewing this answer, I was thinking about it as I brushed my teeth and as I was making breakfast, and now I am ready to give you the answer, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed thinking/writing about it!

DC keeps forcing the wrong relationships, and they keep forcing the wrong centre of this supposed family, they make it out to be the Bat-Family when in reality the Bat (Bruce) should have never been invited to this party.

This is why I give you the… Dick-Family!

Oh yeah baby, I am going there. Dick is the centre of this “family”, he is the guy who is actually connected with everyone, he has been around for so long and he has been present when almost all of the remaining characters were introduced! Bruce might have come first but that guy has nothing on Dick Grayson.

Dick has cared and loved for everyone in this family in a true and beautiful way, no matter how much fanon and DC try to tell us otherwise. This man was an amazing son to Bruce and Alfred (my love for Alfred and Dick is brought to you by @hood-ex), a fantastic brother to Jason, Tim and Cass as well as a phenomenal father/older brother to Damian.

Dick Grayson is the centre of this whole thing, and thanks to DC now being an Omniverse I will be able to explain my line of thoughts. But first let me clear some ideas up.

The way I see it Jason would only get along good enough with Dick. I am not here for Jason and Tim having brunch together (honestly, Lobdell, what were you thinking), Jason never cared for Tim, and then writers that didn’t know how the Red Hood worked made him try to kill Tim so, to me, that relationship is non-existent, Jason doesn’t really perceive Tim (yet).

Jason and Damian, listen, I know that there is this fanon theory that Jason knew and cared for Damian while he was in the League, but that is just fanon talk and it doesn’t really fit in canon either. Jason wasn’t really capable of doing much other than fight, and after he was put in the Lazarus Pit he either had to leave because Ra’s wanted to kill him or Talia took him to the All-Castle. So, Jason’s only real interactions with Damian would be when Jason was written as a crazy, blood thirsty dude that actually tried to harm a child. So, him and Damian wouldn’t really have a good relationship (yet).

Jason and Cass… that’s just a no. Jason and Barbara, I mean Barbara was older than Dick when she first met Jason, so they wouldn’t have much of a relationship.

Now, lets move on to how I will make the Dick-Family work.

Dick (bless him) actually talks and listens to people, unlike Bruce, so the change would start there. Let’s set the timeline, I will stand right after the events of Under the Red Hood. Bruce just chose saving Joker over letting Jason kill the Joker and the building they were in exploded.

Batman keeps on being himself (trash) and Jason, having survived the explosion, moves on to keep on building his empire. He really wants to control the drug trade in Gotham, so he works on that, he slowly but surely takes his place as a drug lord again and is a constant pain in Black Mask’s ass.

While Jason is doing that, Dick is trying to put together his life after Bludhaven was attacked with Chemo. Let’s say that Bludhaven isn’t completely erased from the map but he does have to leave so the city can be re-built. He goes to Gotham, where the Red Hood works.

Let’s say that Alfred told Dick who was under the Red Hood, so Dick being a good brother goes looking for Jason. Their first interaction out of the mask wouldn’t be nice, Jason barely remembers his life before the pit and he really is convinced that Dick is the absolute worst.

But then Jason being a nosy man would make an appearance, for some reason, let’s say that he hacks into the Batcave and when he does that he finds some footage… The footage in question would be the one which shows Bruce punching Dick and sort of blaming him for Jason’s death. (Oh yeah, I am going there). The footage will make a memory come to mind, Dick taking Jason on a skying trip.

So, the next time that Dick and Jason see each other is because Jason went looking for Dick and here is where these two actually talk. The way I see it, Dick is more flexible with the no killing rule, he has worked many times with people that are villains or that just have different ways of doing things. So, I think that he would understand where Jason’s coming from with his ideas. As they begin to understand one another Jason begins to recover more and more memories from before the Pit.

They get together once a week and they chat about life as well as vigilante stuff. They become friends.

At the same time Dick is also very good friends with Tim and also acts like the amazing big brother he is with him. They chat, they sometimes work together and one day they come across a very complicated situation involving a new drug being introduced in Gotham.

Dick would call Jason and now both of them and Tim are reunited in a safe house working together so this new drug doesn’t fall in the wrong hands. Jason and Tim wouldn’t really like each other. Both of them are there for Dick and because they have to get the job done.

That’s how I see Dick forming the Dick-Family unconsciously. Hell, I will introduce Barbara now. Do you guys remember that in UtRH Barbara was mad with Bruce and didn’t want to work with him but she was still in contact with Dick? Well, I am using that so it can fit my narrative.

Dick, Jason and Tim need more intel so Dick calls Oracle (real Oracle) and because Barbara trusts Dick she works with them.

Here is where it gets interesting, through Barbara, Dick meets Cass, through Tim he meets Stephanie. You see that Dick’s connections are leading him to form a group of people. Cass and Stephanie are trained by Babs and Dick and they become the new Batgirls.

As all of that keeps developing Jason and Dick become “partners in crime” they help each other, they start building a brotherly relationship again. Although Jason refuses to say that out loud.

Then comes in Damian, a difficult child if there has ever been one but he has Bruce so Dick doesn’t have to jump in that fast… right?

Oh brother! Bruce is dead (omg what would we do? Battle for the cowl maybe? No!). with Bruce gone there is only one person who can take his place and everyone knows it has to be Dick.

Dick would feel a lot of things as he is taking Bruce’s place as Batman but he has a group of people ready to back him up (Alfred, Jason, Tim, Babs, Cass, Steph), and he also has to take care of Damian, he is a child and with his father gone then maybe his mother would want to take him back to the League of Assassins, Dick obviously doesn’t want that so he talks to Tim and tells him that he sees him as his equal and that he has a plan to make Damian stay and it involves making Damian his new Robin.

Tim would obviously be sad and a little hurt, but he understands Dick’s decision because they talked about it and Dick actually took the time to explain why he was doing what he was doing (really DC half of the problems you guys come up could be fixed in seconds if people would only take some time to just TALK!).

Dick and Damian work as Batman and Robin and Dick starts assuming the position of his father. They would live with Alfred in the penthouse and maybe Tim will join them from time to time (when he wasn’t busy with Young Justice/Teen Titans stuff). Slowly Dick and Damian will become the Dynamic Duo that we love today.

So, Dick would have his own Robin, Oracle (who is also managing her own team with Black Canary and (why not) the Batgirls), Red Robin and Red Hood working with him if he needs them. They are always a call away. Jason is the most difficult to reach and he will only involve himself in that kind of drama if its about controlling the drug trade or scaring the living shit out of some very shady people.

So, Red Hood wouldn’t be working with the new (and improved) Batman but Jason would hang out with Dick sometimes.

From there they build up. Dick renovates Arkham Asylum and makes it work they way that it is supposed to work. He might also recruit Catwoman when he needs someone really sneaky, they have known each other for so long, I bet Selina loves Dick, she would certainly help him out.

But as all things do, this happy and well-connected Dick-Family is disrupted when Bruce comes back, he inserts himself slowly back into his role as Batman and as he does that Dick starts to move away from it.

But Dick’s connections are strong and well cared for, so, even when he goes back to Bludhaven and starts fresh (again) as Nightwing those connections remain. Oracle still gives him intel, Robin and Red Robin come over to Bludhaven to patrol, maybe they even have their own rooms at Dick’s place.

With Bludhaven functioning again, all of the terrible people that were working there also come back, maybe some of them never left and they have been corrupting the city from its very core. So, when Jason tells Dick that he would like to expand his operations to Bludhaven, Dick says yes, as long as Jason keeps him updated on his work and also lets him know what is going on.

I think it works! What do you guys think so far?

From then on with the whole Dick-Family being connected and strong I think they can actually act and solve their problems as a family. All those arcs that didn’t work very well because Bruce was in the middle of it being a jerk, I think they will work if Dick is at the centre of it. Let’s say that Bruce hid the fact that Joker knows their identities and all that, with such a strong family the second that the Joker tries to manipulate Jason into believing that he created him, Dick will come out of the shadows and shut that bullshit down. If Joker tries to do something to the Circus, then the Birds of Prey and the Robins will be there in seconds helping Dick.

The Court of Owls, those little shits wouldn’t stand a chance against this team, this force of nature! Jason would be the one working from afar because you know my boy wouldn’t be subjected to the “no-killing” rule but if he does it, he has to do it away from the children (Damian) and away from Cass, if he doesn’t want to know real trouble. (He probably arranged those things with Dick a long time ago and he is happy with it).

Now, please forgive me but for angst reasons I will actually let the events of, Batman Incorporated #8, Forever Evil, Nightwing #30 and Spyral run its course.

Let me explain, after Damian’s death Dick holds the Dick-Family together, as well as Bruce because he is amazing like that, but then after Dick supposedly dies, things change just a little bit. Jason would retreat back to his own corner because the only thing attaching him to the Dick-Family was Dick but he would also keep his eyes open and he might also have a direct line with Oracle if things go south.

Aside from Jason, I do see the others working on keeping their connections intact. When Damian eventually returns the land of the living, I can see all of them coming together even more because that’s what Dick would have wanted.

And then Dick will come back from Spyral and here is where the Dick-Family will show the “Bat-Family” why its superior to it in every aspect possible.

The Dick-Family will notice that something must have happened, Dick would never play dead and leave them like that, but Dick loves Bruce and he doesn’t want to tell them the truth, Bruce has no memories now and his family doesn’t deserve that kind of drama BUT Jason and Tim are suspicious, they know Dick at this point and they trust him so they firmly believe that he is hiding something to protect someone. And here is where life repeats itself. Let’s review the Batcave’s footage, yes, I did it again, I just love the fact that Bruce has footage of himself being the absolute worst to his kids, how does DC not use it! Anyway, Tim and Jason find the footage from the events of Nightwing #30 and suddenly the Dick-Family have their “Dick defence squad” jackets on and they are ready to party.

After all that Bruce eventually gets his memories back and he is held accountable for his actions. Also, around this time the events of Robin War would have already happened so Duke is also introduced. Dick lets him join and all that, and then Duke and Cass become besties and they work together.

And yeah, as Rebirth comes closer the Dick-Family would be more united than ever.

The end.

That is how I would have done it. But this way is slow, and DC wouldn’t be able to monetize it as much as they would want.

Jason wouldn’t be giving hugs and calling everyone their brother or sister, he will only get along with Dick and he would be professional with everyone else.

Tim and Damian would get along but they wouldn’t go for ice cream together on a sunny day. Steph and Damian would and so would Cass and Tim or Cass and Duke.

Oracle would work with Dick and the others as a side thing because her main thing would be the Birds of Prey, this time with Helena too.

Alfred would spend his time with Bruce but he would also be very aware of Dick and his influence on everyone around them. Bruce eventually would be integrated to the Dick-Family because Dick is a sweetheart but Dick would also make Bruce follow his rules, Dick is a little bean but he is also the most badass person in the room (whichever room) so you better listen to what he has to say.

The Dick-Family would be something that grows silently and doesn’t need a “Joker War” in order for them to be there for each other, they would try their best each step of the way and they will talk things out when mistakes are made.

This is the way that I see this family dynamic working.

I would even go as far as to say that Talia can be part of the Dick-Family because she is connected to three people, Dick, Damian and Jason.

Dick is the person with most connections in the DC Universe, the Titans, the Justice League, Deathstroke, they all have connections to this treasure of a man. If he needs help in Gotham or Bludhaven then he can call people from the “first circle”, if things are beyond a “street level” threat them he can call the Titans and if shit really hits the fan, Clark and the others are a call away.

Anyway, this was unnecessarily long, I am sorry about it but I am also not because I really don’t know how to answer your question without going on a long rant.

In conclusion the Bat-Family doesn’t work and sadly it wouldn’t work no matter how much they force it. These people don’t have connections, Bruce is not able to make connections between people. And DC has erased entire relationships that Dick used to have. I mean, they got rid of Dick and Tim being close brothers just so they could give us a shitty brunch between Tim and Jason? Only yesterday we saw a true and beautiful interaction between Dick and Damian.

DC is handling the “Bat-Family” in all the worst possible ways. It just doesn’t work.

They should have used Dick all those years ago and they shouldn’t have destroyed Jason’s characterization with Lobdell’s ideas.

So, sadly, my dear anon, I don’t see the Bat-Family as a in character thing for any of these people as they are written currently, but I hope that you enjoyed my version of it. May the Dick-Family bring everyone who reads about it a little joy!

[notsosmexy]

Heavens Love || Reggie x reader

Chapter four of ‘Heavens Love’ 

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 5 

A/N: OOooOo we back! Enjoy!

Word count: 3k

Taglist

Wanna be added to the series taglist? Just send an ask!

You walked up to your locker and put your code in. Once you had all your books, someone tapped your shoulder, making you turn around quickly. To your surprise, it was Carrie. She pointed at something not too far away and left. You arched your brow but looked at where she had pointed. 

It was Julie, singing in the middle of the hallway, doing some amazing dance. You wanted to stop her, so she didn't embarrass herself. But you couldn't move. You could tell she didn't mind, or she didn't notice. Either way, you stared at her like everyone else. Her eyes were closed and she had a huge smile on her face.  

You leaned on your locker with a smirk, when she came to get her books. She gave a small smile and took her headphones out. A boy who you had seen once or twice, tapped her shoulder.  

'Are you done?' visible confusion could be seen on her face. You suppressed a laugh. ' Can I have those back?' he pointed towards Julie's back pocket. 

'Oh..' she grabbed them and gave them to the guy. She turned on her heels and faced her locker once again. You and Julie were both laughing and you could hear Flynn running up to you both. 

'Omg Julie!' she smiled. 

'Whats up?'

'Nothing, glad to see you back to your…weirdo self' You laughed

Julie rolled her shoulders and gave a small chuckle 'Thanks?'

Flynn playfully rolled her eyes 'So, how's the band? Still hot? Still talented? Still..dead?' 

You put your head in your hands. 'Flynn..' you couldn't help but laugh a little. 'They can't be… undead'

Flynn shrugged her shoulders 'We're undead' you blinked once or twice. What goes on in this kids brain? Is all you could think.

Julie looked between both you and Flynn. 'Anywayssss, Luke and I spent all weekend writing songs… wanna hear some of them?' 

'Duh!' you and Flynn both said. Julie nodded her head and you both walked towards the music room. On your way there you saw Carrie form the corner of your eye. You gave a small wave but she didn't seem to notice, instead she was looking at something or someone in front of you. You stopped in your tracks and followed her gaze. Your eyes went big once you realized who she was looking at.

'Could be nothing' you tried to reassure yourself. You ran to the music room, to make sure you didn't miss any of Julie's music playing. 

'So this is-' 

'I'M HERE!' You shouted while panting a bit. You weren't the greatest at running you had it admit. Flynn smiled and Julie cleared her throat. 

'Right, here's the first song them and I wrote.' she sat down at the piano. 'Here's some of the chorus' she started playing and you smiled. It was amazing and had a fun beat to it. 

'Wow! I like it! Def Gaga vibes' Flynn stated. You nodded your head to show you agreed. Julie smiled. 

'Now um...here's something me and my mom were working on' Your smile faltered a little. She started playing once again and once again, you love it. You could tell Julie worked hard to get it right. 

'thats- that's beautiful' You and Flynn said at the same time. 

'Now,' Flynn smirked at Julie, changing the subject. 'You have a crush. And this name is Luke.'

'And he's a ghost!' you finished her sentence and Flynn pointed towards you. Julie's mouth fell agape.

'What? No! Luke's a ghost.' she stated, but you knew Flynn wasn't having any of it.  

'A cute ghost.' Flynn stated.

Julie scrunched her nose up. 'with a perfect smile.' she finally gave in.

'Ha! We knew it's you said to Julie while Flynn high fives you but missed. You rubbed your shoulder where she accidentally hit you and she gave a quite sorry. 

Flynn looked back at Julie, you doing the same. 'Just don't get hurt'

'Obviously you guys have a connection' you added. 

'Everyone’s been talking about when you're going to play again' Flynn put her hand on her hip and took out her phone. 

'Lucky for youuu…' You waited for Flynn to finish.

'Your marketing team has been way ahead of it.' Flynn smirked and gave a small flick of her hair.  

'I… I don't have a marketing team.' Julie gave you both a confused look. 

'Yes you do!' you pulled out a flyer from your backpack and Flynn did some jazz hands.

'No wait-' 

'it's all over the school!' before Julie could protest again Flynn's phone buzzed. 'Sorry, it already has 66 likes' you. Shook your head with a smile.  You and Flynn walked don't, leaving Julie behind. You could hear her telling you guys to wait and you both just laughed. 

As you all walked down the hallway to get to your class, you once again saw Carrie. She didn't seem to care that you were walking past. She was busy on her phone, like always, but you could tell something was different. 

'Guys, go without me, I gotta do something.' Both girls looked at you but nodded their heads. You waved goodbye and turned around to go see Carrie. She was walking towards the bathroom and you knew this was  going to be so awkward.

You walked into the light pink washroom and stood in front of a mirror. You waited a couple of seconds and soon enough Carrie walked out. She gave you a small glare, but it seemed fake. 

'Carrie, you don't need to pretend it's just me and you. Nobody else.'

She licked her lips and thought for a moment. She sighed and nodded her head. 

‘Hi Y/N’ she mumbled and turned to look at herself in the mirror. 

You nodded your head slightly and looked around. ‘So, I uh, I saw you staring at-’

‘Don’t’ Carrie quickly interrupted. ‘Its nothing. I don’t- i don’t like her’ She looked like she was going to cry. ‘Even if I-i did, she’d n-never like me’ 

You gave her a sad look and opened her arms. She practically ran into them, her arms around your neck. She smelt good, like honey and sugar. Her cold wet tears were hitting the cloth on your shoulder. Every single one slowly crept through the fabric, making your shoulder wet. After a while she let go and stepped back. She gave you a small smile and rubbed her eyes.

‘Sorry’ She sniffed. You shook your head and gave her a small toothy grin.

‘Don’t be… i’m sure she likes you to’ To be honest you had no idea if Flynn did. She’s never been one to talk about who she likes. She’d never even spread Carrie a glance after… the thing happened. 

‘Maybe…’ Before either of you could say anything else, the bell rang. You both walked out of the bathroom and went  your separate ways. The whole time you were walking to your class, you couldn’t stop thinking about...everything. There was Luke and Julie, Willy and Alex, Flynn and Carrie and You and Reggie. Too many people were falling in love.

****

‘I wasn't in love with the idea at first as well, but it'll be a great way to up our following.’ Julie was watering the plants, while you, Luke and Reggie stood around the piano. Reggie gently put the paper down and nodded his head a bit.

‘Ya, ya! We can play wherever we can and whenever we can’ Reggie stated and a smile had grown on his face. 

‘And then, you guys put out a new album!’ You said happily and Reggie snapped his fingers and pointed at Julie. 

‘Than release a country album’ You shook your head. ‘That does surprisingly well’ He turned towards you but you keep shaking your head. Julie gave Reggie a look and Luke looked a little disgusted. ‘I shred on the banjo so...’ Reggie shrugged his shoulders and acted like it was no big deal.

‘Then i'll  learn how to play the fiddle,’ You said jokingly and Reggie gave you a side hug. 

‘And before you know it, we're being inducted into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame.’ Luke gazed into the distance. He snapped out of it once Reggie started talking. 

‘But one of us isn't there’ you stared at him, half confused, half emmussed. ‘ Because we had a blowout in 2032. My moneys on Alex, he's just to sensitive.’ he shrugged his shoulders and you laughed quietly. 

‘Let’s get rehearsing!’ Luke pushed himself off the piano and spun on his heels. You turned around but remembered Alex wasn't there. Julie must have read your mind cause the next thing she said was exactly what you were going to say.

‘Wheres Alex?’

‘We can start without him.. He’ll be back soon’ Luke reassured you all. You leaned against something and watched them all get ready. Reggie gave you a wink and they all started playing. You blushed and looked at the ground for a few seconds. 

Once you lifted your head again, you heard a poof and Alex was suddenly through the door.

‘Hey Y/N’ you smiled and gave him a wave. 

‘Dude, where have you been?’ Luke stopped playing and let his guitar dangle. ‘We need to practice.’

‘Oh, really?’ Alex looked at Julie, his eyebrows scrunched together. ‘For what?’ 

Before anyone could answer, the door opened only to reveal Flynn. She was wearing her vibrant pink beanie, her lock necklace and the jean jacket you gave to her last year.

‘Dance news!’ she practically screamed while doing some weird pose. ‘I don't have a date but, I'm so psyched to see you guys perform!’ 

‘Oh man! We're playing a dance?’ Alex whined and looked at the guys. 

‘Course, man’ Luke sat on a red chair. ‘That's how we get a following nowadays’

‘Ya, get with the program Alex’ Julie mocked and Luke playfully scoffed. Flynn looked at you and Julie.  

‘What? They guys are here?’ she tutted and flipped her hair casually.’Hey guys!’ she waved in the opposite direction.

‘Other way, sweetie’ you said, giving her a taunting smirk. Oh was all she said and turned to wave at them. All  of them waved back, not that she could tell.

‘OK, well, now that Alex has graced us with his presence-’ you cut Luke off.

‘You should start practicing!’ You threw your hands in the air and Julie looked amused. ‘Wanna stick around?’ You turned around and asked Flynn. 

‘Im supposed to blow up 500 balloons for the school dance..’ she sighed but smiled. ‘This sounds way more fun though’ you all laughed. 

‘Hey Julie!’ Carlos walked into the studio and you heard Luke sigh. ‘Remember those orbs in dad's pictures? I...I think their ghosts.’ You turned to the boys with wide eyes, them doing the same to you. 

‘But don't worry!’ He slammed the pictures onto the piano. ‘ This room is...is’ he did a whole 360. ‘This room is clean. I'm not getting the ghost tinglies’ He whispered the last part like it was a secret. 

‘Wrong again little dude’ You all gave Reggie an amused look. Suddenly Carlos started yelling. 

‘Have no fear! If they come back I will protect you! Because I am the man of this house!’ Carlos stated, looking proud of himself.

‘Isn't dad the man of the house?’ Julie asked. 

‘There can be two’ they both chuckled. ‘Dad needs all the help he can get right? Now, according to the internet, salt burns their souls out.’ Everyone turned towards each other with panic written all over their faces. ‘A little sprinkle will keep them from ever coming here’ He threw it everywhere and some landed on Alex.

‘No! Oh! Oh god im…’ he looked at his hands. ‘Im fine. I'm totally fine.’ he raised his head with a proud smile. 

‘Oh! Carlos you know who's hungry? Me and...Y/N. Why don't you salt us a path to the kitchen’ You gave Flynn a look and shook your head. 

‘No, I need to-’ before you could continue, Carlos took your arm and started dragging you along, while salting a path. 

‘Don't worry Y/N you won't miss much!’ Your boyfrie- Reggie yelled behind you.

@tclerateit @sarcasticallywitty15 @killingbxys @calltothewild @well-hes-just-too-cute​ 

[tyunniverse]

Midnight Crisis

pairing: huening kai x reader

genre: fluff (?)

word count: 1728

synopsis: huening kai gets woken up by his neighbor's alarm every midnight and finally decides to do something about it

There it is again.

Kai lies awake in his bed, eyes heavy and dark circles evident. He stares at the ceiling, trying his best to cancel out the noise that's been plaguing his mind for countless nights but to no avail. He's grown to hate the noise with each passing day. It's been like this ever since he moved in two months ago.

The first night was bearable, he'd assumed that his neighbor had something important to do at midnight. After all, it wasn't unusual for a college student to be up that late to finish an assignment. The first week was excusable. Kai figured that they must be working on an extremely important project that couldn't wait until morning to be finish. The next few weeks were hell. He thought he'd be immune to the alarm blasting through his walls but he wasn't. It sounds off for five minutes and after that, waits another five minutes more to go off again. His suffering doesn't end until it nears 1 am, and if he's lucky, it'll end before 00:30. This became the norm for Kai.

But the alarm had been going off for more than an hour. A hundred thoughts go through Kai's mind. Should he just try to go back to sleep? At this point that seemed impossible. He'd tried a hundred times before and it never worked. Should he just stay up until it ends? He'd be tired by morning but that's the safest possible decision. But what if this goes on until sunrise? He can't risk falling asleep in class when he had a presentation first thing in the morning.

Kai bunches the his blanket in his hands. "Why me?" He groans, shifting to the side to check his phone. His classmate, Beomgyu, had left him a message a few hours ago.

Hyuka, I can't make it to class tomorrow. I'm at the hospital with my roommate. Sorry, but I think you have to do the presentation on your own tomorrow. I promise I'll make it up to you.

Great.

Given the news and the loud pinging of the alarm, Kai decides that he has had enough. He can't deal with the stupid alarm going off every night, especially when he really needed the rest.

He hops out off bed, grabbing a hoodie from his closet and putting it over his shirt before storming out of his room.

—

You were beyond tired.

The classes you had on that day had all conducted tests, leaving your brain fried by the time you got home. You immediately pass out once you reached the comfort of your bed, not even caring to change out of your clothes. Your mind peacefully drifts into sleep, remembering that you had something to look forward to at 1 am.

You never forget to set your alarm. Sometimes, it was hard waking up in the middle of the night when you're having such a good time sleeping, but you made sure that it went off every five minutes until you're forcibly awoken by it's blaring sound.

The drama your best friend, Soobin, had recommended to you had been the highlight of your day since the beginning of the semester. School has been nothing but the source of your stress and you found that watching the new episodes every night helped you get through it and prepare yourself for anything to come. Little did you know that your energy booster had become the bane of someone else's existence.

"Excuse me!"

You were woken up by the sound of loud banging on your door. Having just come to your senses, your eyes wander to you phone that had been blasting your alarm since 12 am. You reach out to it, checking the time and panicking once you saw that it was way past the time slot for your drama. It was about to finish.

"Shit." You scramble towards your laptop, hoping to at least see if there was still hope to watch it until your attention was brought back to the loud banging on your door.

"Excuse me! Is anyone in there?"

You frown. "Who the hell disturbs people in the middle of the night?"

The place was quiet for a while until the banging came back. You take one last glance at your laptop before treading towards the door. You grab anything heavy along the way in case things get a little weird with your unexpected visitor.

Kai rubs his eyes as he waits for his neighbor's door to swing open. His ears perk up when he hears shuffling behind the door. It opens for about an inch wide, raising a few questions in Kai's mind.

"Do you need something?" You speak out from behind the door.

Kai's brows knit as he leaned a little closer. "It's me, Huening Kai, from room 208. I need to talk to you about something but isn't refusing to open your door a little rude?"

"Oh, sorry." You relax once you realize that the visitor wasn't a threat. You'd seen him a lot on your way to your room but you've never interacted before. All you know was that he seemed like a pretty nice guy. "Ah," You look up at him. He looked kinda cute despite his tired look. His messy hair had almost entirely covered his eyes and his hoodie had a molang print on the side. "But isn't it also a little rude to bang at your neighbor's door at 1 am?" You ask him, brows raised.

Kai purses his lips, trying his best to hold off on snapping at you. He was truly at his limit. "Not when that neighbor has kept me up for the past two months with their stupid alarm?"

"What are you— oh." You cut yourself off upon realizing the entirety of the situation. Maximum volume. You had set your alarm at maximum volume to make sure you never missed an episode. It had barely been effective on you but it sure did its work on your neighbor. In hindsight, you should've seen this coming.

Kai watches as you space out and decides to just tell you then and there instead of waiting for you to invite him inside. "Uh, listen." His hands fidget, trying to get through the awkwardness. "You must have something important to do but please be responsible with your alarm. It's ringing has kept me awake since the start of the semester and I haven't gotten a good night's sleep since. I have a presentation later and I really need to get some sleep before that, so can you please tone the alarm down or just shut if off? I don't think I can survive another night like this."

There he had it.

Kai felt a bit better. He should've done this sooner. His problems would've been solved by then. He figured that you'd apologize and stop your alarms since by now, the two of you have probably reached an understanding.

"I understand your side, I really do." You tell him, looking up at his now smiling form. "But I can't lower the volume." His smile disappears.

"What?"

"I can't wake up if it's not at maximum volume. Please understand, I need this in order to wake up." You insist.

Kai didn't know how to react. He'd been so sure that you'd cooperate that any other responses would have rendered his mind blank. "What?" He repeats. "Then, can you at least tell me why it's so important for you to be awake at this hour?"

You cant. You can't tell him.

The moment he finds out that you were willing to sacrifice his sleep for the drama you've been watching, he'd never let you hear the end of it. "I have a project and it needs to be finished by tomorrow."

Kai crosses his arms, frowning. "So you're saying you have an important project every single night?"

You hold your breath. "Yes?"

"Yes?" Kai scoffs. "Please tell me you're joking."

"I'm serious!" You wage him off. "I really do have one!"

Kai takes a peek at your room and sighs. "Then bring it here. The least you can do is prove that you're telling the truth. I can't keep suffering like this, Y/N."

Hearing your name made you nervous. Of course he'd known your name, he had delivered your packages a few times when it ended up in front of his doorstep by mistake. What's worse, he wanted you to show him the project you made up on the spot to hopefully escape the situation. Your mind goes blank, and there's only one thng that passes through it despite being fully aware that this solution was only temporary.

"I'm sorry!"

"Huh?"

Kai freezes in his spot as the door slams shut in his face. He hears you run back imto the safety of your room and he's left standing there, speechless. It takes him a few seconds to register what had just happened.

"Hey!" He reaches out for your door knob, twisting it a few times before giving up and knocking on the door. "Y/N? Y/N! Open up! We're still not done talking!" He knocks a few more times. "Hey!"

You snicker, hellbent on ignoring him and focusing on what's left of your show. Even if it's just the ending of the episode, it was enough to at least get you through tomorrow.

The episodes starts loading after a few clicks and you move to get your headphones. That's when you realize that Kai had finally stopped bothering you for the night. A smile creeps in your face as you feel a mixture of relief and guilt. "I'm sorry, Kai, but I need this."

You plug your headphones in and was about to focus on the episode when a loud alarm starts blasting through the walls of your room. Eyes wide, you check your phone to see if your alarm had beem turned off. It had been dead ever since you got up, which meant that the sound could only be coming from the room next door.

You jump when you hear a rather loud laugh coming from Kai's room, followed by him banging on your shared wall. Your phone buzzes with a notification and you check it.

Hey there, neighbor! If I'm not gonna get any sleep then so are you. Suffer with me >3<

[burtlederp]

Writing Blurb 2

Heyyyy this is actual whump! Got an idea for a thing, decided to write it out and post it for all y'all to enjoy. It's not my best piece of writing, but it's better than nothing.

TW minor gore, violence, blood, knives... uh idk, if I missed something, someone tell me lol. Hope y'all enjoy!

Moe leaned against the wall, huddled in a corner, eyes squeezed shut. His brown, shaggy hair lay in clumps on his bloodied head, his hands bound behind his back, chest rising and falling with shuddered gasps. Broken ribs made every lung of air agony, while his head throbbed, his sore, raw wrists protesting being tied back any longer. But he ignored the pain, just trying to focus.

The demon, the spirit, the ghost, the monster that haunted his mind had been so much louder since the torture had started. It howled and screamed and bellowed constantly, slamming its claws against the mental cage he had put it in. It wanted out. But Moe didn't want to lose his body, not to it. 

The door screeched open, causing Moe to flinch, pressing his cheek against the wall. "N-no…"

"Yep, I'm back," His captor said casually, shutting the door behind himself. "Did you miss me?" He asked sweetly, standing over Moe's weak and huddled form. His face soured when his captive didn't reply.

"Open your eyes and answer me," He growled, a hard slap connecting with Moe's exposed cheek. He gasped, not expecting it, and did as he was told, forcing himself to raise his head and look his captor in the eyes, lip quivering.

"P-please, no more…" He whispered, voice hoarse from screaming. He couldn't take it. Not anymore. He had had enough. One more waterboarding session, one more set of lashes or beatings, and he'd lose control. 

"Yeah, sorry. Not an option." The captor reached down and grabbed a handful of Moe's hair, yanking him to his feet. He whimpered, knees barely able to support himself, muscles weak. His captor smiled at him, turning his head slightly to see all of Moe's face.

"I like how you're looking, Momo." He nodded. "We're not quite there, but close," He suddenly yanked Moe's hair again, knocking Moe's skull against the concrete wall. He gave a choked gasp, sliding to the floor. 

"I just want to make sure, for this next video we send, you," The torturer punctuated his word with a kick to Moe's stomach, knocking the wind out of his chest. "Look," Another kick, right on top of the first. "Like," Yet another. "Hell." The captor hissed with glee, and his kick went higher, into Moe's upper chest. He coughed, gasping for air, curling into a ball, struggling to focus, but it was difficult when your brain wasn't receiving enough oxygen.

Breathe, Moe, Breathe… Don't… You can't let him win… He thought desperately, but the beast disagreed. 

Let me out, and I can save you from him, It tempted. Moe swallowed, peering weakly up at his captor, who was reaching for him.

"No…" He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut again as he was lifted by the shirt and dragged to the middle of the floor.

"Now let's see you, yes," He crouched, turning Moe's head side to side, rough fingers squeezing his bruised jaw. Moe clenched his teeth, trying to bite back tears. What was going to come next? How long would this last? Was anyone coming for him? 

"Oh, come now, you can cry," His captor's voice was full of false kindness, a hand gently brushing hair off of Moe's face. Moe looked up at him, heart pounding, trying to breathe without choking on blood. 

"Please… P-please… No more… I can't…" Moe begged, voice cracking. The captor pulled out a pocket knife, flipping out the blade, smiling as they leaned in close. 

"Y'know, you're rather handsome," He said, wiping blood off his captive's chin, who tried to pull away from his grasp in vain. "Too bad that won't be the case anymore. I want to know what you look like with a scar…" The knife's point pressed against the cheekbone, just below Moe's left eye. He whimpered, trying to jerk away.

"Ah-ah, don't move, or I might put out your eye," The captor warned, and Moe held still, eyes shut, tears beginning to well up, waiting, waiting, waiting for the knife to go in. 

Let me take the reins, A slimy voice said in the back of his mind.

"No…" Moe whispered, and the knife sunk into his flesh, causing Moe to let out a pained cry. 

I will protect you, The voice insisted. 

You won't, you won't, Moe tried to remind himself. "No, no, no…!" He wailed behind his teeth.

"Yes! Very yes," His captor grinned, dragging the knife down his face. Moe shrieked, trying to keep his jaw still. He felt hot, sticky blood, his own blood, flow down his face, pooling in his ear and crawling down to the back of his neck. He could feel his hands being crushed beneath him, bent and twisted in the wrong way, threatening to give at any second. His gasps only made everything worse, forcing broken ribs to expand with his chest, pulling the pieces further apart.

The captor twisted and yanked the knife out from Moe's jaw, prompting another gasp. Tears began to flow down his face. He couldn't help it. 

Let me out! The voice shouted. 

"No…" He moaned, and screamed as suddenly the knife was buried into his arm, and twisted. He arched his back, trying to pull away, but he couldn't, a hand painfully gripping his other arm to keep him in place. His captor was enjoying this, loving every second of Moe's pain. 

LET ME OUT!

"No!" Moe sobbed, and howled as the blade was removed, then was pierced through his ear. He couldn't do this. Moe just couldn't. 

LET ME OUT!!!

"No! No, I can't, please…" His breathing hitched with every sob, every breath a gasp for air. 

"We're almost done," His captor said softly, and began to drag the knife across Moe's forehead. 

LET ME OUT!!

Moe just cried, unable to fight anymore. He drew into himself, eyes stinging as blood flowed into them. 

"There," The captor leaned back, closing the knife. "You look half-dead. Perfect." He got to his feet. "I'll be back in a minute with the camera, you baby. Don't move an inch!" He laughed, exiting the room.

Moe lay on the floor, feeling his grip on the chains of the beast loosening. He couldn't do this. He couldn't. It was too much.

"I yield," He cried to the empty room. "I yield."

Steven hummed to himself, fiddling with the camera as he walked down the hallway. He had washed his hands, he had his cool mask, the tripod was tucked under his arm. He wouldn't film too much, he didn't really feel like editing today, all that was needed was an update, anyway. Keep the buyers aware that every second they weren't here, every moment they spent unable to find him, their friend was closer to death. 

He opened the door to the cell, cheerily calling to his captive. "Moooe, I'm ba--" He stopped. Moe wasn't here. There was blood on the floor, still fresh, where he had just been, but he himself was not in the room. Steven turned, looking down the hallway, feeling anger bubble in his stomach. How?! He thought, about to step back out, when a drop of warm liquid plopped onto his head. He stopped, reaching up to his face to gather the wet on his fingers. Pulling away, he found blood there. 

Steven looked up, and didn't have enough time to scream before a dark body slammed down on him, smashing him into the concrete floor. Teeth sunk into his shoulder, clawed fingers digging into his throat, but he wasn't able to cry out, all the air knocked from his lungs. The attacker yanked back, taking a chunk of Steven's flesh with them in their teeth. Feeling the grip of it loosen slightly, Steven scrambled free, cutting his hands on the sharp pieces of the broken camera as he crawled to the opposite wall, pressing himself against it as he tried to breathe. Finally able to see his attacker, he involuntarily shrieked in fear. 

There was his captive, but it wasn't. Moe sat, or rather crouched, but his eyes were black, glowing yellow rings set on their prey. His back had warped, a couple vertebrae too many now, his limbs seeming longer than before. His fingernails had disappeared, instead his fingers now giant, sharp claws. The bloodied, mutated form of Moe grinned at him with razor-sharp, needle-like teeth, holding his flesh in its mouth.

It suddenly stood--yes, it was definitely taller now, its feet had grown longer and were clawed too--staring down at Steven. The light behind its head, he could only see the yellow circles of its pupils, the rest of its face in shadow. He heard it swallow.

"It's been a looong time since I was in control," Moe's voice came from it as it stretched, but it was drier, raspier, more sinister. "Feels nice, I'll admit. I see why you were enjoying it." Blood dribbled down its face and its neck, from new cuts and from its lips.

Steven stared up at the monster in fear, wishing he could sink into the floor. He hadn't prepared for this. He had no plan. But he wasn't going to die without a fight. He swiped his leg under those of the monster, knocking it off balance. It stumbled to the side as Steven pushed himself off the wall, staggering out of the cell as fast as he could, breathing hard, holding his shoulder with one hand. Blood was already spilled down his front, but he ignored the pain of it. He had to run, he had to get away.

He heard the sound of clawed feet scraping against the ground, heard snarls of something inhuman behind him. He tried to run faster, but it felt like a bad dream, the sounds getting closer no matter how fast he ran. He screamed, panic rising up into his throat. He was silenced abruptly as he was tackled, those awful, wicked clawed hands wrapping around his throat, tight enough to cut off air. He struggled, flailing in the beast's grip, but it was so much stronger now. It turned him over, staring down at him with those terrible eyes, that horrifying grin. It moved its hands, one slipping quickly up to his forehead, and the other pressing down so hard on his chest he could almost feel his ribs snap, leaving his throat exposed. Steven's eyes widened. 

"N-no, no, please, no, NO--!!" The dying wailings were cut short as those sharp teeth ended him. There was no voice now, just the sound of a monster, feasting. 

[zaraquinn]

stranger things: the breakfast club

by zara quinn 💐

wattpad link

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chapter two: this is what happens

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All of the six kids finally made their way into the seats of the library desk, Billy being the last one to take a seat behind Nancy and Johnathan. Ophelia took a seat in the very back, behind Steve and Julia. They all looked at their principle, Mr. Murray Bauman as he held a stack of papers and addressed the kids with such annoyance that Ophelia wondered how he even got the job. "Well look what we got here! I would congratulate all of you for being on time but I think a congratulation would be a little too nice—" Mr. Bauman had spat to the teens, he was going to continue as Nancy raised her hand, cutting him off. "Yes, Wheeler?" Mr. Bauman said annoyingly, rolling his eyes at the girl. "Excuse me, Mr. Bauman? I think there has been a terrible mistake, but, I don't think I belong here... in detention—" But Mr. Bauman doesn't care her about her excuses, as he continues to talk. "It's now 7:06 and you have exactly eight hours of detention to think about why you're in here. To think about the errors of your ways..." The teens already feel themselves tune out his voice, as Billy took out a piece of gum from his jacket and chewed it loudly, Nancy looking back in disgust and Johnathan looking annoyed; rolling his eyes. "And, you may not talk, move from your seats..." Bauman yelled back at the silent kids, stomping towards a careless Billy playing with his silver ring around his finger, pulling a chair out from underneath his resting feet. Bauman looked behind him, already finding Steve falling asleep with his head down. "You will not sleep or take thirty-minute naps." Bauman walked over to Steve, smacking him at the back of the head to walk him up. His head made a loud thud as Julia had giggled from her place in her seat. "Alright kids, we're gonna try something a little different today. I want each and every one of you to write an essay describing to me who you think you are. No less than three pages and a thousand words." All of the teens look at each other in disbelief, all having the same thought going through their minds. "Is this suppose to be a test?" Johnathan asks softly, getting completely ignored by Mr. Bauman, as he hands out several pieces of paper and pencils. "And I mean essay. Not the same word a thousand times and not skipping lines alright? You're all seniors. You're big boys and girls who know what essays are so you do it yourself alright?" Bauman yelled over the kids for the last time; suddenly pointing at Billy with his pointer finger and pinkie finger. "Are we clear Hargrove?" Billy had lifted his head from his chair, giving no words but thumbs up and returning his head back on the chair and chewing his gum. "Well good, because maybe, just maybe, you'll learn a little something about your time spent here. Like whether or not you would like to, return." Mr. Bauman said, stretching out the last word as he shoots daggers towards a carefree Billy once more. "I wouldn't want to return here." Muttered Ophelia, catching the principle's attention once more. "Shut up Thompson." He quickly shot back, earning all the glances towards her—Ophelia quickly sinking into her chair. "My office is across the hall. Any monkey business is ill-advised. Any questions?" His thick finger points towards each teen like a laser beam ready to hit its target. All the teens look at Mr. Bauman with empty stares, although Billy smirked from his seat behind the table and raised his hand way up high. "Yeah, I got a question." Bauman looks at Billy suspiciously, getting ready to try not to strangle the kid. "Do you know how receding your hairline is?" Billy pushed Mr. Bauman's buttons even further, not caring for the end result of his little roast.

The teens can already feel Mr. Bauman fume with anger from wherever they sat as he shot daggers towards the smirking Billy. "I'll give you the answer to that, Mr. Hargrove, next Saturday in detention." Everyone looked at Billy with a disapproving look, questioning why he would cost himself another Saturday to waste his time. "Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns." Bauman finally said, making weird hand gestures as he made his way to the library doors. "That man, is a brownie hound." Billy said out loud yo no one in particular. The rest of the teens stayed silent, ignoring Billy's obscure thoughts that had escaped his pretty lips. Nancy made herself comfortable as she removed her jacket and laid it on her chair, and Steve kicking his bag down underneath his seat. Johnathan picked up his pencil and started to write down the title of his essay, following the rules like he was told to from Bauman. He glanced at Nancy with a smile, and she returned with one. Steve had already put his head down on the desk, ready for bed once again as Julia started to fold the paper she received into a paper balloon. Billy had propped his feet onto his desk and Ophelia started to loudly bite her nails in boredom. The whole room could hear her go at it on her nails as every single pair of eyes on her were once again, at her direction. "If you keep eating like that you won't have space for lunch." Billy made his stupid comments as Ophelia finished biting her nail and three Billy the middle finger—he then proceeded to return it back with a wink towards the girl. "Don't worry sweetheart. I've seen you around the school before you know." It seemed like he turned his charm on as Ophelia's annoyed face relaxed more as she looked at Billy and his stupidly handsome face—but quickly faced the other way and ignored his growing smirk. "Who I think I am?" Johnathan muttered to himself, jittering with his pencil in hand; slipping it between his fingers he thought about the essay. "I am... the Eggman. I am the Walrus." He smiled as he hummed the obscure Beatles song to himself. Steve lifted his head in boredom once more, looking around the room he resided in. He saw Julia folding away at the paper and Nancy looking off into space, and Johnathan beside her writing some words on his paper. "You're seriously going to do the essay Byers?" He asked, completely annoyed by the fact he was listening to the principle's stupid rules. "I mean what else would we be doing?" Johnathan genuinely asked. Man if he wasn't so sweet and soft. "Oh shit! What happens if we have to take a piss?" Billy shouted, effectively waking everybody up from their distractions.

"What?" Nancy muttered, looking back at the delinquent. "Well, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do." Was all Billy said when he the many sounds of shuffling resulted in him undoing his zipper and belt on his pants. "Dude!" Nancy yelled, covering her eyes and facing forward as everybody else had drawn attention to Billy. "Oh my God." Julia followed Nancy's actions, same with Ophelia at the back. "Jesus Christ—seriously dude?" Steve yelled back, looking at Billy with an annoyed expression on his face. "What?" Everybody expecting him to at least feel ashamed; but of course, the total opposite for Billy. "You whip it out and you're dead before the first drop hits the floor!" Steve pulled out his chair, ready to stand up and fight Billy at any given moment. But like always Billy sarcastically follows up with a joke and a comment, toasting Steve as he zips his pants back up. "You're talking seriously got it crawling back up again dick." Steve rolled his eyes at Billy's unwanted comment. He really didn't need this right now. Billy can already feel the boredom seep through his veins and out his skin as his brain screamed for him to get some energy before he feels like he's going to turn into some lazy blob. He hated that feeling. "Hey homeboy," a pencil was thrown in the air by Billy, hitting Johnathan at the back of the head, causing him to turn to the obnoxious boy. "What?" "Why don't you close that door huh? Let's see if we can score little miss prissy here and the performing basket case behind us? Why don't we throw in Harrington's muse in the mix huh?" Billy chewed his gum with a smirk, as he pointed at Ophelia behind them and Julia, as well as Nancy. Johnathan just looked at Billy with disgust.

"Hey, asshole! Just because you don't want to be here, doesn't mean you get everybody's time here a living hell!" Steve spat back, already feeling his anger rise to the top of the surface. "Steve, he's just saying this to get under your skin, just ignore him." Julia said, lightly laying her hand on Steve's arm to reassure him. She kept a good grip, however, just in case he really does launch himself at Billy after all. "Oh, I see. You and she are fucking?" Billy proposed. "Friends with benefits? In... love?" Billy got up from his seat and sat on the table, pressing the two teens further. "Shut up!" "Enough!" Both of them yelled, causing the room's eyes towards them. Mr. Bauman's voice echoed across the room; as he yelled for them to shut up from his office.

"You know, we can't have any party going on with that door open. We should close it." Billy said, walking over to Johnathan's side of the desk, slapping him at the back of the chair. "It's supposed to be open, I don't think we're supposed to—" "Do I look like I give a shit? So what?" He quickly cut of Johnathan, prompting him to shut up as he continued loudly and proudly chewed his gum. "Look, Hargrove, why don't you just shut up? There are five people here that don't need you being an asshole for eight hours!" Steve yelled back. "Steve, just ignore him." Julia proposed. "Oh wow, the King of Hawkins High can count! I thought you weren't supposed to have brains if you're popular..." Billy shouted particularly to nobody, and Ophelia following the joke with a short chuckle. "See? She gets it." Billy pointed at her direction, causing Ophelia to smile back. She might be the one that always stars as the main roles in their school plays, but she does have a sense of humour. Billy returned with a wink her way, already causing Ophelia with a case of pink cheeks. "Steve..." Julia quickly held his arm down as she felt him start to pull his chair back. "Who the hell are you to judge anyway?" Julia yelled back, already feeling the amount of frustration from Steve equally present itself onto her.

"Really..." Nancy followed, rolling her eyes. "You know Hargrove, you could disappear in this school and no one would bat an eyelash; not one difference. You may as well not even exist in this school." Steve spat back, feeling his temper reach its limit. "Then I'll just join the basketball team! Wrestling team! Even the prep club!" He leaned over to Nancy, annoying her further. "They would never take you." "How about the art club? The theatre kid where all the drama kids make themselves known?" He pressed on further, wanting to push everybody's buttons. "Well, actually—" Ophelia thought about it but was quickly interrupted by Nancy's words. "You know why guys like you knock everything?" Fully turning in her seat, anger-filled in her words. "Nancy, don't." Johnathan put a calming hand on her shoulder, and Nancy ignoring it all. "Hey pretty face, this should be interesting." Billy nudged Ophelia's shoulder as he sat on the desk, sarcastically and jokingly paying attention to Nancy. "It's because you're afraid. You're a coward that doesn't belong anywhere and you know it. That's why you shit all over it and think you're too cool for it." Nancy crossed her arms, knowing full well she took a jab at Billy. "Oh, princess. You rich people really know everybody, do you? You know, don't you think it's also because all your popular kids are just prestigious assholes?" He smiled. Nancy furrowed her eyebrows in anger. "You know what," Nancy finished, turning around and ignoring Billy once more, hearing a laugh from Billy to signify he won. "Look, I have to meet a bunch of friends today and I'm going to get this detention extended on the count of you bonehead alright!" Steve yelled. "Oh, how social popularity is so important these days. The two keep bickering with Julia and Nancy's add ons, and Johnathan watching the door nervously, just waiting for the moment Bauman comes in and busts all of them.

Time passes and soon enough, the library returns to its silent nature—and everyone relied on up from the argument between Steve and Billy. Suddenly, Billy smirks to himself, bolting from his chair and jumping over the large desk and over to the library door. He reaches to the top, removing a screw and shoving it in his pocket. The door then proceeded to slam shut as Billy ran back to his seat behind the desk with a shit-eating grin. All the teens' face has panic written all over it. "Okay asshole, you can stop joking around and fix it!" Nancy yelled. "Yeah man, just put it back the way it was!" Johnathan joined in, facing Billy with worry. "Aren't I a genius?" Billy smiled to himself. "No asshole, you're not! You're an idiot that's what!" Julia yelled back. Steve and Nancy constantly yelled at Billy to put the door back the way it was, and Billy yelling for them to shut up.

"Why is this door closed?" The door was busted open by Mr. Bauman; yelling at the kids as they all sat in internal panic.

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[intro] | [part one] | [part two] | [part three] | [masterlist] |

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tagged: @karinavictoria11 @amarachoren @youtubehelpsmesurvive @slither-in-a-half @vampirecrash @bookmovietvworm @yllwtaxi @what-ever-babe @ashadowoftheforest @yoheyyosup

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[jdmainman123]

New York and Los Angeles called it they have me updating you guys online reminding the black people of the racist jokes? I was waking up in Fort Worth? And again one of the white hair baby said something racist against the blacks and it took to the streets? And they were complaining about it

Bottom line you surround me with these black skin people that don't speak the language that have only these certain word archives is what we found out? For Fort Worth to offer up all that white skin money to say these blacks can't speak the language? It allows our evidence to go forward and say they're holding the specific word that is a misstatement the wrong sounding word? That's triggering a satellite to make yacht fish bleed and snap? Your satellite is lying to my brain opening a cut inside my brain every time you force one of these words down my throat

And of course it happened again today you guys surrounded me with blackskin people only to do what to yell at them in public? Using a n***** word? And I don't appreciate being your little scapegoat for a failed white skin satellite maker they're all protecting with a known dead daughter

It's just too much you guys do in favor for other satellite maker cities failures? Why we're not going home to get on an airplane and run through that f****** airport again the one that kidnapped me your alliance is just so satellite maker can find another satellite making to do something worse to me? Just to cover up and again four different ways we offered you the world and you guys came back with the fifth way to customize some f****** dead f****** Mike family some dead and why are Mike and Todd fighting in the middle of street right now we know the two pussies names? Get my guitar in the middle of the street have them start fighting for one girl and winter takes the block

But more important you guys are surrounding me with black skin people to repeat the LIE the satellite lie and get it stuck in their head and then you follow them around pissing them off? YOU GUYS ONLY HAVE ME HERE TO HOLD THE BLACK JOKES? AND WE FORWARD THIS TO SAYING ANY BLACK HAIR WHITE SON BECAUSE I FOUND THE F****** S*** HOLE FULL OF THE WORST BLACK HAIR WHITE SONS IN THE WORLD? THAT HEY GOLD SUNS? THAT WANT THE WORLD TO BE ALL BLACKSKIN MEN? THEY HAVE THEIR OWN BLACK SKIN ARMY? IF YOU SHOW UP IN LOS ANGELES 3/4 IN YOUR BLACK HAIR AND WHITE SKIN I PROMISE TO KICK YOUR F****** FACE AND BECAUSE YOU'RE THE WORST SCUMBAG FAMILY WE'VE EVER MET AND IF IT STARTS HERE THEN YOU KNOW WHAT MY JOB IS DONE BUT AT LEAST I FOUND A ROOT OF THE CAUSE YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND HAVING CONCRETE BUILDINGS FOR A BLACK HAIR WHITE SKIN BOYS AND TELL THIS BLACK SKIN AND HE OWNS ALL THE WHITE SKIN WHITE HAIR BOYS ALL THE WHITE SKIN BLACK HAIR BOYS? AND THIS F****** DEAD DAUGHTER'S WALKING AROUND WITHOUT A FATHER HOW DOES THAT F****** HAPPEN

More importantly #report they're falling down with black skin men again to repeat the stupid f****** lie and it's triggering me to be very angry cuz I don't like this stupid jokes it makes me feel stupid it makes you feel like I'm becoming dumber? Just to anger them just to inform them? Let me remind you what's happening here new recruits are showing up? And I'm informing them because it's satellite is answering for me? The satellite it's asking it's own question and then providing its own data breach leaking information because I told you s*** you wouldn't have said in a hundred years

And it keeps on repeating the misstatement and the bad jokes for them to get angry and learn for the first time and in carried around with that stupid smile on their face

And I don't see it the favor should be the opposite and the other side of the world they should be getting ready to bomb the s*** out of you guys cuz this satellite Maker only does favors for other satellite maker cities and that's why we're not going home because they want to stick me into another brand new city? When you guys called it off because architecture? Florida 3/4 they're going to subpoena us? You guys called it off to kidnap me here so I don't see another better architecture so you can align with that dead daughter Las Vegas that stupid f****** sidewalk Las Vegas strip it's not a real box it's not a real downtown? So you guys called it off AND A FAVOR SHOULD BE HAPPENING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD TO SHUT DOWN THIS F****** FAVOR FOR A FRIEND OF MY FATHER'S SITE? WHERE THE ONLY SUCCESS OF A SATELLITE MAKERS HAVING YOUR KIDS KILLED? BY NO OTHER THAN? MY DOWNTOWN'S GOING TO KILL YOUR DOWNTOWN BECAUSE WE CAN'T BLAME THE BLACK SKIN MAN? ASK STUDENTS WE CAN'T BLAME THE WHITE SKIN MAN? WE HAVE TO BLAME AN ENTIRE OTHER CITY TO GET THESE PEOPLE ANGRY? AT WHAT A TRUTH ANOTHER SATELLITE MAKER SAID ABOUT YOUR CITY? IT HAPPENS TO BE TRUTH? YOU SEND ALL THESE KIDS OVER THERE ANGRY TO CONFRONT THEM? WHEN THEY'RE IN THE SAME BELIEFS THE SAME IDEOLOGY AS YOU ALL WE NEED ARE SLEEPING BABIES AND BUILDINGS WE DON'T NEED AN AIRPORT OR MONEY?

So stop sending the black skin men around me for me to repeat that stupid f****** joke that the satellite keeps on screaming at my brain AND IF YOU'RE SAYING THE BLACKS CAN'T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE AS THE WHITE SKINS? THE ONLY CARRYING AROUND THAT INTOXICATING WORD? I SAY YOU'RE B******* I SAY YOU'RE FULL OF F****** S***? BECAUSE YOU'RE LOOKING AT A REAL BLACK OPERATIVE THAT LEARNED HIS ENTIRE LANGUAGE WHITE SKIN AND IT WENT UNDER OPERATION BLACK SKIN TO KILL LAS VEGAS IS DEAD F****** DAUGHTER and they asked me they said honest question if you could do it a second time in your life go black skin and kill Las Vegas his daughter? I said I'd do it a third time and if they offered me a third time I do it a fourth time because that f****** city is the root of why what's happening here they're jealous of the grass sticking up out of this under the snow and they're very angry about it they don't want one piece of grass standing up? And if you guys were so afraid of Los Angeles 3/4? Found it

Oh you kiss my ass

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Can't get over how you spoilt me Buster: Gutted it's only one a year like Rio: I did alright then? Good, you deserve as much Rio: You're not that posh, only the Queen gets two, like Buster: Gotta step up my game if you reckon that Buster: Poshest normally, ain't it? Loving and hating it from me Rio: I would've got you more but as per you're awkward 😉 Rio: At least your birthday isn't December so you still get a Christmas, people take the piss, it is NOT near enough that one gift covers it 😤😂 Buster: No arguments that you love that Buster: I promise I won't do you that way, babe Buster: So what are we doing to keep the party vibes going? Rio: 😘 Good to know you plan on sticking around that long Rio: Purely for the gift, of course Rio: I was thinking we could go to Amuse on Dawson Street Rio: You'll like it Rio: Grace wants to babysit but Jay could go to my fams so there's more people than just her to keep an eye Rio: if you're up for it? Buster: 'Course. Gotta top your Gucci and it's not like your birthday's that late into December, not as if you're tying me down until summer Buster: Yeah? Buster: Sounds as though it's a decent plan to me Rio: You so don't, the Gucci covers about 10 years of presents probably, I'm set 😍 Rio: Good, 'cos I've got reservations already so I was hoping you'd say that Rio: Not really Indie's speed or part of my plan to be the sad single diner Buster: Yeah I do, I was going subtle there, that's the opposite to how birthday's should be Buster: How long have I got to make myself look irresistible? Rio: Don't worry, you've got plenty more to come yet Rio: about an hour, time to get Jay snoozing too, so you won't miss any time with her Rio: all part of my master plan Buster: You've proper thought of everything Rio: Did you doubt me? Buster: Not for a second Buster: But bonus points for not getting distracted about how grateful I'm gonna be Rio: Its definitely a nice bonus Rio: but today and tonight is all about you Buster: Fuck Buster: As much as I wanna be all smooth about how nothing pleases me more than pleasing you, how can I refuse like Buster: Still gotta, 'cause where's the fun in giving in, yeah? Rio: I don't mind the challenge, nah Rio: I'll be easy enough for the two of us Buster: Don't get a day off when it's a chore Buster: not* Rio: Ugh, stop being so perfect Buster: Can't Buster: No sorry though Rio: Me either Rio: Can't lie Buster: Are you gonna surprise me with what you're wearing or do I get a sneak peak now? Rio: Definitely a surprise Rio: What birthdays are all about Buster: Fair, like also unfair but Rio: What you gonna do? Still gotta be a good boy and have your mains before your dessert, even on your Birthday Buster: I'm never that good, birthday or not Rio: True 😂 Rio: Who am I kidding? Rio: Good's no fun unless I'm being good for you Buster: 😈 Rio: Wish it could stay like this always Rio: just us and her Buster: Me too Buster: Don't think she'd be mad about it either Rio: Shame kidnapping is so frowned upon Buster: So are we though Buster: Maybe we should just say fuck it Rio: Oh, I forgot to mentioned illegal Rio: That too Buster: I'll run rings around the law with my knowledge, no worries Rio: Fair Rio: I believe it Buster: It's why I love you Buster: All the faith in me Rio: Oh Rio: No fair, you surprised me with that one Rio: Say it again though Buster: I love you Rio: How much Buster: So fucking much Buster: I'll show you Rio: Patience Rio: I'm trying to be nice and respectable Rio: Buy you dinner first Buster: Patience is for people that are waiting for something better Buster: I've got the best here Buster: Buy me dinner in the middle Rio: Get on your knees and start praying we have an unobservant driver, baby Buster: I'll get on my knees for you but there's no need to waste time praying unless you wanna treat me like a god, babe Buster: Throw enough money about and you can have all the privacy you want Rio: You know I will Rio: Having you throwing out all the blessing and curses, trust Buster: Yeah? Buster: We'll see Rio: You will Rio: I already know all the things I'm gonna do for you Buster: That a surprise too? Rio: Depends how well you know me Rio: and I know you, and what you want Rio: doesn't it Buster: Fucking hell, just 'cause I'm another year older doesn't mean you can kill me Rio: I'm just being nice daddy 😇 Buster: Says you Rio: So mean! 😾 What can I do to make you happy? Buster: Thought you didn't have to try, babe Rio: I don't have to Rio: I want to Buster: Fuck Buster: Well how can I say no to that Rio: Please don't Rio: I want you so bad Buster: How bad Rio: This much Rio: [Sends nude] Rio: Doesn't count as a spoiler because I'm not dressed yet Buster: I don't hate spoilers you know that Buster: I want you to want me more than ever Buster: And 'cause it's my birthday you have to grant my wish Rio: You typically get three Rio: but you know you can have it all when it comes to me Rio: Just let me know Buster: Good. I want everything Rio: You already got it daddy Buster: [Sends a pic that also isn't spoilers] Buster: So do you Rio: I can't Rio: how do you get me even hotter when I was already about to explode Buster: Must be how well I know you Buster: So that answers that Rio: Wanna come in here and get to know me better? Rio: Ugh, I'm dead Buster: 'Course Buster: But I'd hate to ruin the surprise of how good you're looking Rio: No you wouldn't Rio: but you love teasing me, that's for sure Buster: Maybe Rio: See? Can't help yourself Buster: Do you really want me to? Rio: Hmm Rio: Not yet Rio: You'll know when I'm ready for the real thing Buster: Good Rio: Speaking of, how you getting on? Buster: Jay's good to go and I'm working on it Rio: Awwh Rio: She's so adorable Buster: [Sends a selfie of him and Jay] Buster: Not a spoiler 'cause she's pulling focus off my look Rio: 😍 Rio: Such a heartbreaker Rio: You're so lucky Buster: I know Buster: I'm gonna take her over to Grace and co now, they've said it's alright Rio: Good stuff Rio: Want me to meet you there Rio: I won't come in, obviously Buster: I was gonna say Buster: Don't get spotted like Buster: Jay'll fall asleep in the car as standard so hopefully I won't be long dropping her off Rio: Been doing this long enough Rio: I think I know what I'm doing, boy Rio: Come here if you like then Buster: I trust you Buster: Come to me Rio: Yes sir Buster: I can't wait to see you Rio: Me either Rio: Even though it hasn't been that long since I was there Rio: I still missed you Buster: Yeah. It feels long to me Buster: Shame I can't just move you in Rio: Parents might have something to say about that when they show up Buster: Indie too, but for different reasons Rio: Room for a little one? Rio: Can basically hear her already Buster: Same Buster: She's worse at shutting up than even you are Rio: I'll tell her that Buster: Please do Buster: Her heart eyes kill me for a different reason that yours, trust me Rio: Look how well being a dick worked on me tho 😜 Buster: And Chlo Buster: Maybe not then Rio: Mhmm Rio: Oh the dangers of being too damn irresistible Rio: No one warned you, did they? 😂 Buster: You could've, but nah Rio: Selfish? Me? Buster: Never. You're such a giver Buster: And about to prove it like Rio: You know it Buster: I love it Rio: So, far as Birthdays go Rio: Not bad? Buster: I've had worse Rio: I'll take it Buster: Don't worry, I've still got more to give you Rio: I love you Buster: I love you too Rio: Oh, forgot to say Rio: We're on double celebrations tonight Buster: Yeah? Rio: I got a new job! Rio: Better one Buster: I didn't doubt it would be Buster: Well done, babe Rio: Yeah, club promotion stuff, basically Rio: It'll be more fun at any rate Buster: You won't be begging me to distract you on the night's when the pub is dead Rio: Gutted? Buster: It'll save your ego at least Rio: I ain't never too proud to beg babe Buster: Well I'm proud of you babe Buster: This job is gonna be good for you I reckon Rio: I know it ain't a career like but Rio: every little helps when you ain't a brainbox Buster: Shut up Buster: You're well smart Rio: Not like you lot, you and Nance and Junie Buster: You are Buster: Full package and don't forget it Rio: It's cool, I work what I got Rio: but you're cute Buster: You have brains too Buster: Being academic and smart ain't the same thing Buster: You wouldn't call Indie thick, would you? Rio: Of course not Buster: Well then Buster: I'm not hearing it about you Rio: 🙊 Rio: Not another word Buster: Good Buster: You keep up with me, that should tell you everything you need to know about how smart you are Buster: Not to mention everything you saw through about me Rio: That's just people Rio: and I've met all sorts Buster: What happened to not another word? Rio: I can't let you just say all this stuff and say nothing Rio: You could say anything next 😜 Buster: So what? Buster: You're not scared are you? Rio: Never Buster: You already know I love you what could be scarier than that like Rio: Going back to the bullshit Rio: Or you stopping Buster: Not gonna happen Buster: Don't worry Rio: Then I ain't Buster: Me either Rio: Ready Buster: I'll come and grab you Rio: Yeah, yeah Rio: Wish you would Buster: Don't waste the wish Buster: Already guaranteed Buster: Could literally carry you away before any of your fam sees you. You're so small Rio: I am not Rio: You're just big Buster: Yeah I am but you're also small Rio: 😡 Ain't you heard what they say about short girls? Rio: I'll fuck you up Buster: Yeah? Is that promise or a threat? Rio: A bonafide guarantee if you carry on Buster: Then you know I have to Buster: You're so fucking hot Rio: Take my rage seriously! 😏 Buster: Believe me I am Buster: It's just seriously sexy Rio: Perv Buster: I can be Buster: If that's how you want it Rio: Better be Rio: Keep up with me, boy Buster: Not about to stop now like Buster: Got a rep here Rio: and I weren't promised no gentleman Buster: Just as well 'cause I've arrived in his place

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Christmas Vacation Roleplaying Sentence Starters

"Is your house on fire?"

"This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here."

"Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?"

"Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber."

"Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"

"Well I'm gonna park the cars and get check the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season."

"Aw, you didn't have to get me anything."

"Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer..."

"Shitter was full."

" I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic."

"We're not coming all the way out here just to get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it are we?"

"If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now."

"I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery."

"And why is the carpet all wet?"

"I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so."

"Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is?"

"I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas."

"Oh dear, did I break wind?"

"I'm freezing my baguettes off."

"Welcome to our home, what's left of it."

"What's that sound? You hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound."

"Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was."

"All right then, if you're not man enough to put an end to this shit, then I am."

"Run into the living room and get my stogey."

"If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last Christmas."

"Hey, Kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sleigh on its way in from New York City."

"I simply solved the problem. We needed a coffin...er, a tree."

"Yeah, it is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy. What am I saying, nipple?"

"Our holidays were always such a mess."

"I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels."

"Are you sure you ain't Santa Claus?"

" I can't even afford to be an elf."

"We're at the threshold of hell."

"You set standards that no family activity can live up to."

"Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?"

"You about ready to do some kissing?"

"That's pretty low, mister! If I had a rubber hose, I would beat you."

"I told you to freeze, mister."

"I'm sure he'll fall. But I don't think we're lucky enough for him to break his neck."

"I have nightmares about what he does when I'm not lying next to him."

"It was an ugly tree anyway."

"I don't want to spend the Holidays dead!"

"What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse?"

"Don't forget the rubber sheets and gerbils."

"If you want to come in you'll have to break down the goddamn door!"

"I'm sorry. This is our family's first kidnapping."

[zoz4721]

#pleaserepost #ineedtohearpercysphonecallplease

Fourth Community Goal Reached!

Small announcement for today and that is you guys hit the fourth community goal!

The team's gonna share some phone UI designs for you guys to vote over down the line. In the meantime though, level 5 is up for y'all to tackle! It's a bit of a jump, but with six calls on the line it's only fair, no?

So if you want a phone call from each cast member daydreaming and planning their Summer plans with you don't forget to like and share our pinned posts!