#its the injustice of it all fr

[cheemken]

Hey Knight do you have any other Pokémon Champion AUs you’d like to share? Even if they’re just a bare basic idea rn or a generic AU.

Even other AUs that don’t involve the champions or even Pokémon I’d like to hear :)

I do have the pmd au hahah I really love this au too, I have a ton of angst for this

Ig I just didn't really made stuff much for that au bc I really,,, can't draw pkmn that well,, owo"

I also have other pmd au stuff that doesn't involve the champions hahah like my Kubfu and Kirlia duo, and even that one concept I have of Hero Zekrom and Partner Reuniclus hahah

And then a Beauty and the Beast SilkWing and even Phaesporia aus bc I'm trash for that trope too like I will cave in if anyone ever mentions that trope it's fuckin godtier man, every pairing of mine should have that au

Huh okay but platonic Geeta/Dia Beauty and the Beast au,,,,, ough that'd be dope jcmdnd hahaha

Then ofc the Homestuck au, I also have a lil SilkWing Spy x Family au, I wanted to make a Chainsaw Man au, but I think the villain au is the closest I got to that

Pfft my other non pkmn aus, it's abt Homestuck, like abt the Dancestors and Alpha kids, cause I always thought that those two sessions also knew each other like the Betas. And it's cool peeps made aus abt the Dancestors and Alpha kids bc I really wanted to see how they'd interact w each other back then

Ofc, their dynamics for the characs are so much different than mine, but it's still dope hahah

Cause yknow I do have this lil concept in mind abt it, how cool it would've been to see just how different they'd all be if they just found someone else who could really understand them.

And then my lil Hitman Reborn au that's basically just me trying to rewrite it to make Chrome better than Mukuro, she deserves it. Honestly tho Chrome deserved so much better

Anyways back to the Beauty and the Beast thing I can guarantee you if I ship smth, I already have a Beauty and the Beast au for em hahahah

[britneyshakespeare]

I don't know who needs to hear this but the Black Parade isn't even a tad bit overrated

[imblocking-you]

GOD I LOVE SHIN HYE SUN SM

[not-goldy]

Not your followers thinking Jimin doesn't need to be big star also. Are they even sane ??? EACH AND EVERY MEMBER IN BTS IS AMBITIOUS AF, ESPECIALLY JM. But unlike JK, JM is not airhead to keep on saying he want to be next big thing, want to be seen as this het fuckboy who only sings about sex to be seen as mature, want to be one and only kpop star to do so bla bla bla all while not lifting a pen to write songs, won't have streams and sales without a 938397328 versions and all that mediaplay from company. Or atleast the bare minimum hold a mic properly and talk/sing without fidgeting and embarrassing yourself. How you gonna dominate western market without even communication skills lmao.. those times when he used to stand in shade of RM is gone lol. Jk's big project DREAMERS debuted under bubbling 100 while JM gave that YG company their 1st hot 100 entry by a collab. So saying JK is this and that while we are not seeing results organically is dumb af. Golden maknae because he sing and dance some white man's songs which company already bought success for ? Oh there's 100 other artists who sings and dance way better than him. He can't hold 5 mins on stage if he's doing a dance battle with Jimin lol.

What company doing to members IS INJUSTICE AF.. especially Jimin who fucking proved he can also be the 'next big thing'. But they conveniently sweep him under rug so his shine won't affect their industry plant launch. Or why can't they support him too ???? Is it that difficult ? JK didn't do a shit and got everything. I BET HE WONT DEBUT NO.1 FOR SEVEN NOR GET ALL THOSE RECORDS IF IT WAS NOT THE PUSH FROM SCOOTS. BE FR. Go and check his BB points to see how payola impacted his chart. It would've been a -48 like 3D on second week too. While what we asked for Jimin was the deserved support in 2nd week for a song which fucking went no.1 with fans support and artist impact alone. It's NOT secretly wishing JK's treatment for JM, but asking what he fucking deserves. Literally any company will give the extra promos for his in 2nd week but not hybe who's on a mission to sell themselves to somehow establish JK in west 😬

And don't say JM will chose me over JK. Did I said I want JM to chose me ????? THIS IS HIS CAREER HE WORKED HARD FOR NOT A FUCKASS RELATIONSHIP. Even if you look at their relationship also, it's the same lol. JM keep on giving and giving him his everything while JK sit back and enjoy Jimin while not even bothering to post a simple bday wish or go and meet him even after him begging a 100 times.

YOU CANT CALL OTHERS JK ANTIS BECAUSE THEY SEE TRUTH AND SAY IT OUT LOUD. Ask him to play fairly like a man 1st, then we will see who's the real winner here ?

DAMN IF PSYCHO WAS A PERSON

IF HE'S WINNING DOES IT MATTER HOW HE'S WINNING???? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THINGS WORK IN THIS WORLD OR ARE YOU ONE OF THE DELULUS WHO THINK HARD WORK IS EVERYTHING?

You are crazy if you think money, connections, power, politics, privilege and luck play zero role in making a star. Please find other 2 yr olds and hug them, don't bring this shit to the adult table its embarrassing.

I'm embarrassed for you.

Scoot---- okay, MA'AM A PUSH IS A PUSH WHETHER IT'S FROM SCOOBY-DOO OR THE DEVIL

TAKE YOUR WEIRD MORAL COMPASS AND CHICKEN CHANGE ETHICS TO SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY GIVES A FUCK

READ MY LIPS

Go weep somewhere else.

You gonna come on the internet and bitch complain bout how the entertainment industry is not fair WELL BOO HOO CRY ME A RIVER YOU LOSER.

And make sure you come with a costume next time so we know the circus from whence you came Missy Clowniot.

You give PJMs a bad name you ASS HAT

You sound like those whiny kpop losers who complain BTS has privilege and connections and power and their lame loser favs don't- as if power and connections are things you throw on people's laps.

If Hard work is all it takes BTS WOULD HAVE SEVERAL GRAMMYS YOU DUMBASS.

And the fact you out here farting yourself in the name of Park Jimin irks me so much. Here's the truth you want so bad, YOU SUCK. And you making Jimin out to be pathetic too damn.

Now I know it's not Park Jimin you out here acting like he's inferior and a victim and a loser who needs the bar to be lowered and for people to choose him love him play fair and nice before he can win. Child THE AUDACITY.

YOU DON'T THINK DO YOU??

I know he's not the one you fucking dragging through the mud indirectly with these brain dead waste of breathe rants.

PLEASE STOP JIMIN DON'T NEED A FAN LIKE YOU.

YOU ARE EMBARRASSING HIM.

The nerve and audacity for you to even compare him to- WELL ANY ONE I'M ABOUT TO PUT HANDS ON YOU FOR THAT.

I WILL SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU FOR THIS FOR REAL.

It's the lack of intelligence and you not taking a hint and you not knowing when to stop- FUCK IT LET'S GET NASTY THEN.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND I IS I CAN'T PUT ANY ONE ON A PEDESTAL ABOVE PARK JIMIN ENOUGH TO VICTIMIZE HIM THE WAY YOU DO.

HE'S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN PLEASE LEAVE HIM ALONE HE IS NOT COMPETING WITH NO FUCKING ONE

HAVE SOME FUCKING CLASS AND TACT

OR GO OVER THERE WHERE THE OTHER PJMs OF YOUR CALIBRE ARE

IF JIMIN SEES THIS HE WILL THROW UP AND I'M GONNA WIPE HIS VOMIT WITH YOUR FACE YOU RAGGEDY ASS

NEVER EVER EVOOOOORRR COMPARE PARK BIG DADDY JIMIN TO ANY ONE LET ALONE HIS SWEET HEART

NO ONE IS ON HIS LEVEL AND NO ONE WILL EVER BE.

ALSO JIKOOK ARE A FUCKING POWER COUPLE THE FUCK!

IF JUNGKOOK'S POWER MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE

GO SIT OVER THERE

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

HELLO BELOVED CKB!! I have been restraining myself for months (hypothetical since I have no sense of time) on the topic of fictional characters that remind people of Yves. Because Oh Boy do I have a big one.

Have you seen Vil Schoenheit from Twisted Wonderland? There are so many parallels it makes me go absolutely bonkers. I might get his character wrong but oh well.

- Vil is insanely rich & a model/actor. Very influential and worked his way to that spot. His skincare and makeup routine is fucking impertinent to him; he must look flawless at all times. He makes sure that he is in prime condition and pushes to make sure that the people in his dorm are of similar regimens.

- Vil is based off of the evil queen (he’s not related to her in any sense btw.) He, by nature, is very nitpicky and motherly towards the people that he cares about even though it can be seen by them as smothering and overwhelming sometimes.

- He specializes in making potions and specifically poisons.

- Oh My God he is so mother and honestly one of my favorite characters and so is Yves which honestly says a lot about me. I need help. Canonically calls his right hand man “dear/darling.”

If I had to relate Yves to another TWST character it would be Malleus Draconia but only looks and obsessiveness and the whole “I want to be with you for eternity” thing.

- 🌷

Oh hell yeah i know Twisted wonderland, I follow a couple of blogs who specialized in making Yandere Fics about them, my favourite is Malleus Fuckin Draconia my man. Im pretty sure you can see my type (Long black hair, green eyes, calm, lithe and vampiric types)

I didn't know shit about twisted wonderland at first, I fr thought it was a yandere dating sim, but I had to learn everything bit by bit from the bits and bobs of canon those authors would sometimes post about, so it was like learning a language from scratch.

I was partially interested in Vil Schoenheit, but I guess most of the fics wrote him as mainly focused on his fanbase and not the reader- like he needs the world to have their eyes on him or he will throw up and die. So that kinda killed my yearning boner off for him because reader's attention is not enough and he requires love from the masses too.

Like fr i appreciate the maternalness of Vil, but it just feels... surface level since I doubt he would be interested in personally wiping reader's ass when they're incapable or cleaning up your puke on himself with a straight face without making a big deal out of it.

and IMO i think he's a little too loud, a little too naggy and his nitpicky comes from a place of self service, not really in the reader's best interest. Like Yves would listen to you and observe 100%, whereas its the other way round for Vil, where you gotta drink the yappuchino he serves. Dont come for me Vil simps i think he is swell despite this </3 I just don't think he would be the parallel of Yves </333

but for MALLEUS tho,,, mans a quiet, antisocial loner from what I saw, only yearning for the attention of the reader (or "yuu"), he's super calm, a recluse, and has like 4 friends. I have read fics that painted him in a maternal light that tickled my heartussy, and I guess thas why i like him more. Because to me, I headcannon he would take care of you himself as if you're paralyzed from the head neck down without complaints or feeling icky when he gotta handle with human bodily fluids. He would mostly listen and observe, maybe infodump about gargoyles but I think he would be a closer match to Yves than Vil in vibes and looks.

Though might wanna consider Jamil Viper from Scarabia, he hates standing out and mans was always depicted as the caretaker to Kalim. And I would like always have the biggest crush on him because,,, hehe caretaker

But he does so begrudgingly and like has a deep hatred for Kalim, I was like damn what if he loves caretaking for me,,, that isn't gonna happen because Jamil comes from a background of injustice and he isn't going to like being subjected to the role forced upon him since birth,,, aha ... unless...

and he's hella smart, but he's moving in silence just like Yves, gritting his teeth but keep on trucking no matter how angery he is. He is calm and quiet, and he listens because he need that information to succeed in his goals, but my delulu ass would be like omg he is so attentive

but theres that spite in Jamil that do be present in Yves though, ironically I would say that Yves is closer in character to Malleus and Jamil than Vil, but i could be just biased and say that because of both appearances are similar to that of Yves rn (Malleus and Jamil has like long, straightish dark hair and them sharp eyes)

[phregnancy]

id like to say thank you for bringing all these discussions to light, not only bc theyre interesting and we share a LOT of opinions in common but also bc its so relieving somehow to see people talking abt phils struggles and feelings and all he went thru bc i was a phillie even tho i tended to relate to dans content more and the amount of injustice going for him or people barely acknowledging his stuff or his work made me so sad. i love phil so much and the videos he uploaded during the hiatus era saved my mental health fr. dont get me wrong i absolutely adore dan and as a philie i'm a dannie by proxy also but i'm so glad to know i wasnt the only one in the trenches for phil. tumblr user phregnancy youre a joy to have on the dash

thank you <33 one of my pet peeves is when people talking about dan’s hiatus like it was the end of content from either of them all together, and it wasn’t. the videos phil made during dan’s hiatus were fun and silly and creative! that man chasing ghosts and floating in sensory deprivation tanks, it was a good time! but no because dan took his time away people abandoned phil as well and that really sucked

[apesoformythoughts]

We “modern” men and women have a difficult relationship with the past. We are told that it was rife with injustice and oppression, and that tradition is a straitjacket restraining our freedom. We tend to think that everything old is, by default, obsolete. We like reinventing, or “rebranding,” our persona, leaving behind the history that shaped it. In the name of a better future, we risk losing memory of the past.

We are paying a price for this loss. In school, education is increasingly about securing a well-paid job, rather than awakening curiosity and handing down a common heritage. At work, different generations no longer seem to share the same ideals and have a hard time communicating. In social life, we stick with our online tribe or we “bowl alone.” Ignorance of history opens the door to manipulation by the powerful. Above all, the lack of roots generates a feeling of precariousness. It fills the present with anxiety and empties the future of its promise. Is there hope?

Recalling his first meeting with Beatrice, who, for the rest of his life, would embody beauty itself, Dante Alighieri writes:

“In that part of the book of my memory, before which little can be read, there is a heading which says: ‘Here begins a new life.’”

The encounter with a great love gives us a glimpse of a mysterious presence — the ultimate Beauty and Love — whom we always expected but never met. The awareness of this presence, its memory, can heal our relationship with the past and give reasons to hope and to build. Within this experience, “whatever you remember is a fragment of being that rises from the sepulcher, and the different fragments, coming together, rearrange themselves into a design that is no longer just a promise, but a promise that is already being fulfilled" (Fr. Luigi Giussani). All that is needed is our attention.

Join us on February 14–16, 2025, for a weekend of public discussions, exhibits, and live performances to explore how memory and hope shape daily life: work, education, affection, and society.

via nyencounter

[on-leatheredwings]

damn..... at least i was smart enough to copy it

--

talia hating you with passion just to slowly warm up to you cus you make her son happy (smth which was considered nearly impossible).... yummy...... 🤤

sadly, i don't can't fully get into comics right now since I'm kinda busy with uni and paperwork but the stuff I've read so far was fun

my only question is WHy there are so many of them?!?? good for the fans ig but how am i supposed to read it without a guide??

I remember picking up some Batman and Robin volume where Batman turned out to be Dick. "is Bruce dead or something?" i thought jokingly.... 😔

Yes. Yes, he was dead, as i quickly found out..... At least now i put more thoughts into what i pick up to read

about btd - if your only problem is the artstyle you may check out The Price of Flesh. it was created by one of btd artists (the one who drew the fox guy) and it's relatively new, so the visuals are way better

no like getting into comics is genuinely so ridiculous and dumb lmao .... like the only way to read them is to go by like... character i guess?

if u wanna read damian, read batman and robin by tomasi and all its related runs, robin 2021 ... to read tim, read a lonely place for dying, robin '91, a lot of 90s batman also has tim as robin but not all-- UGH ITS SO FRUSTRATING.... kinda why i was a cartoons-and-video-games-only girlie back in 2017-2020 like i just need less options/more streamlined progression 😭😭😭😭

there are guides out there BUT OH LORD WHY DO WE EVEN NEED ONE... GUIDES TO READ MANGAS ARE LIKE: START AT CHAPTER 1. :)

AND YEAH NGL I FORGOT BRUCE WAS FR DEAD FOR A SECOND IN THE 2010'S AND DICK WAS BATMAN WHILE DAMIAN WAS ROBIN. LMFAOOO....

and hmmmmm !?!? ill check out tpof :3

something that makes me laugh is how bruce really should be like fucking 60-70 but so he can keep being batman, he's just eternally 40s-very early 50s. i think canonically the timeline from dick > jason > jason DYING > tim > jason COMING BACK > steph's small robin stint > damian > duke/cass is like. 10 years. which is kind of insane considering the decades of content. they would have to undergo these arcs EVERY DAMN DAY FOR THIS TO MAKE SENSE 😭

if dc was brave they'd retire batman and have cass take over while damian does more growing to inherit (altho he shouldn't . imo.) and what the fuck is tim doing

ppl are kinda fine with it but i feel him going robin > red robin > drake > robin is such a lame regression. he should have his own identity. red robin was already too much like robin, but now hes just ROBIN while damian is also robin. which is fine without context, im okay with multiple robins but come on can tim be his own hero now.

so yeah in general i just pick and choose what arcs i wanna read... i was huge into injustice back in the day which was an alternate universe games/comics canon. its rlly simpler living that way 🚬

[wegonbealright-09]

ur very much a hater lmao 😭. and last anon was right, yoongi was the one who said the bb hot 100 thing, jk has neverrr said anything about his goals on that chart, even as a group, only celebrated their success after the fact, so not sure where you're getting this "sudden obsession" from. as a matter of fact, jimin has talked more ab his goals for bb than him. and he should ! theres nothing wrong with explicitly stating your goals especially when you make fire ass music that deserves to be number one, its called manifestation and putting their wants into the world. your issue is that you see the 10% of the member's lives that they choose to show us and come up with these narratives to feed your own delusions about how you feel about them and their personalities. bitter ab yoongi going on tour like it has anything to do with his enlistment ? HUH 😭😭? 2+2= fish in your head too ig. and you saying joon being bitter bc he wants to be acknowledged for the work he does... ??? see im typing this out and its just not making sense. he's always done that before they even got instagram, AS HE SHOULD because it's HIS work and if he wants to make a post ab writing some lyrics then he can and you saying he's bitter for doing that is extremely odd. as for tae, be fucking fr lol. u sound like the type to get mad if a member didnt make a happy birthday post like they dont have each others literal phone numbers and addresses. and tae did support jimin's solo songs multiple times on weverse, but you ignore that bc it doesnt fit your narrative. get out your mind, take a walk outside, and come to the realization that you dont know these people and making up these negative narratives ab their personalities is oddball behaviour to say the least. and lastly, joon and suga have nothing to be bitter about. theyre part of the biggest group in the world. their albums are critically acclaimed. this second chapter of bts has brought out the worst in people like you because you constantly try to make it a competition between the members, and theyre not letting you do that bc they actually support each other and congratulate each other in their accomplishments, whether they post it online for fans to see or not. at the end of the day bts trumps all, which is what all 7 members have said and have been saying🤷🏾‍♀️and people like you are just gonna have to suck it up or unstan bc the negativity and d! ck measuring contests are not it and goes against anything bts have ever said about each other.

Anon I should let you write my history essays you know, :⁠-⁠)

Me a hater? Excuse me?

You anon you are the type that goes to posts about jimin stans and qrt " jimin would hate y'all, he's die for his members and put you on fire" every time they trust to address the injustice but okay.

Jk has talked about the billboard he's not even manifesting he knows it it'll lend on his lap because scooter has made sure if that. That man doesn't even shit about his upcoming album he doesn't know shit he's just going to accept it and move on like he did with seven. And lmfao. I'm not obsessed with jk, I've had this blog for such a long time but i didn't post anything I only followed people and interacted in post you can click to see which posts I've liked and who do I follow. But anon I got tired of everyone here acting ignorant like they don't see what's going on, like " yhea we've got some jikook crumbs let's not address the payola and fraud that is going on". I'm not obsessed far from it, this dude lately just pops up in feed and annoys the fuvk out of me, something he's never did before. And also jk is chart obsessed lately even some of his fans can see you don't fine by me.

Jimin never talked about his BB goals like what do you mean. That man wanted to release face as a free album on sound cloud because he felt like this is his story and he wants fans, and everyone to be able to hear it and relate and see the world from his point of view, so you tell me anon you tell me. Jimin didn't even think that like crazy was going to number on he was impressed with how well smf pt2 did because guess what he didn't expect that as well. So idk what you tryna say anon.

I agree I don't know what's going on with their lives. I didn't say I'm telling the truth here or some like that my posts are based on my opinions and observations. If me not agreeing with what most of y'all think is being called delusional girl I've been delulu i still think jimin is going to release and album with Bruno Mars as a featured artist or him and Bruno are going to pay homage to MJ someday so yhea I am delulu.

Birthdays are no big deals I myself I don't celebrate my own birthday and just like jimin I give zero fucks about my birthday. Okay anon I admit I was wrong it's okay for ones best friend to not congratulate him on social media platforms when he had just did the impossible and made history and decides to do so privately only when it comes to them, it's totally okay.

I'm not even going to talk about yoongi and Joon because this I've said what I've said. I'm not backtracking you can go throw yourself off a cliff idc

I thought you said everyone's entitled to their own opinion but now that I'm expressing mine I must touch some grass and take a walk. How about you snap back to reality huh? As I've said if when you see BTS you see rainbows sunshine's and clouds that's okay but I don't and I'm not tryna force my opinions on people I'm just saying what I think and feel and I might be wrong idc it's just how I feel.

Anon I'm not laughing I swear. You know I'm not a hater I've said that in the second chapter there's been a shift in the group's energy and I'm standing on that. Your last sentences wooo anon you're the one to say what I'm doing goes against what bts have said to each other. So is what's jk is going with the fraud and payola but I don't see you ranting and calling him out, he's going against everything that BTS has ever believed in, the legacy they've created, the image they've built. For what? A few records that some western artist is going to break again with more payola than him. If you look as scooters old interviews about Gangnam Style and all. Jk is just a puppet to his show, he hates jimin more than he's ever did because he has a break through in the western market as soloist without his help, he sis what he could do with Gangnam even after all that promotion on his own with little to no promotion

But hey this is just my opinion I don't want to sound" obsessed" so this is the last time I'm talking about jk.

Anon neither you know what's going on behind closed doors but if you like to act ignorant fine by me my opinion and yours are different anyway thank you for visiting my blog and having the nerve to tell me to touch some grass on my own blog smh

[pub-lius]

What is your opinion on Aaron Burr?

he. he him. he.

i don’t know BEKWBWKWN

burr was an icon im not going to lie but he’s also the bane of my fucking existence and whenever i remember he was a real person i get a little scared.

but fr tho like. out of all of those freaks, i think i would get along with burr the best. like he wasn’t great, he could be pretty shitty, but i feel like we could have a conversation and agree a lot and it would probably be genuinely enjoyable instead of me probing his brain like i would do to hamilton or jefferson or sobbing my eyes out due to daddy issues like i would if within a 500 mile radius of lafayette or washington.

i also think he is generally undervalued and the musical did a horrible injustice to him. i never really defend him unless im arguing against a misconception spread by chernow and/or lin, which is like. a lot of the time. its really sad that most of the time i spend discussing burr is arguing false information that a VAST majority of people think is accurate because of the musical, which is now being TAUGHT IN SCHOOLS.

i don’t think the musical made him into a villain, but it made him into someone he wasn’t. it wasn’t authentic to him, and i think the person he was deserves that credit. this man was a war hero and lin manuel miranda spent like an entire musical calling him a nark like. who the fuck are you talking about

also, like hamilton, im mostly just fascinated by his character, not bc i think he was just a swell guy. one thing i do appreciate about chernow’s biography is that he acknowledges the many parallels between burr and hamilton (even if he overdoes it a shit ton), i just wish he did the same thing with jefferson and hamilton, bc they had the same thing of like. being each other’s reflections, if that makes sense. its a thing of like burr reflected hamilton and hamilton reflected jefferson, but burr and jefferson don’t have that. idk if that makes any sense but if i need to explain it more lmk

what i think isnt talked about enough is the fact that burr was a good father and grandfather, and thats one of my favorite things about him. idk why i just find it really comforting that he had good family relationships. idk exactly why, i just think its sweet

so yeah, generally i think pretty positively of burr, but i do treat him a lot like hamilton in my study in the ways that apply. although he and hamilton weren’t close, i see them as pretty un-intertwinable when it comes to understanding either one of them, and that’s always my goal when it comes to my Specialty Dudes (tm).

[akashasananda]

The Role of Forgiveness in Spiritual Healing - A Guide by TwinRay

Forgiveness is a key aspect of spiritual healing, opening doors for empathy and compassion towards others, emotional relief, and improved physical well-being.

Resolving to forgive can be challenging and requires patience and understanding, yet doing so is an integral part of a spiritual journey and can bring greater peace to every aspect of your life.

1. Forgive yourself

Forgiveness doesn't just involve forgiving others for their behavior; it also applies to forgiving yourself for making mistakes in life. By prioritizing forgiveness in your life, you can move past pain, find healing, and move forward with life more freely.

At times, forgiving yourself can be challenging but essential for the well-being of both body and soul. TwinRay cautions that holding onto grudges may lead to negative thoughts, depression, anxiety, and physical illness - as a recent study showed. Furthermore, anger inhibits learning and memory abilities.

Shekinah Ma and Sanandaji  (TwinRay) highlight that the first step to self-forgiveness is an honest analysis of your actions and understanding where they were wrong. While this may take some time, remember to refrain from being too hard on yourself: everyone makes mistakes, and don't assume anything bad you did is due to fundamental evilness. Rather, it could have been due to an unexpectedly stressful or emotional situation or miscommunication between parties involved at that particular time.

Consider how you have harmed others as part of your approach to forgiving yourself and others. Sometimes, allowing go of their wrongs is easier than forgiving ourselves - this provides an excellent opportunity to practice empathy, which has been associated with forgiveness, as it helps provide additional perspective on oneself and one's behavior.

Once you've decided to forgive yourself, discussing this decision with friends or a counselor can be beneficial. With practice comes naturalness; as time goes on, it will become easier. According to Enright's research, more frequent forgiveness leads to greater improvement - yet patience must be applied throughout this journey if it is worthwhile.

2. Forgive others

Research indicates that forgiveness isn't just a gift you give someone else; it also has numerous personal advantages for the forgivers. Forgiveness helps activate and strengthen parts of the brain that support healthy functioning while encouraging feelings of empathy and hopefulness in its recipient.

For instance, if your workplace encounters individuals who steal your ideas, denigrate you in front of others, or gossip about you, forgiveness may give you the strength to address their behavior with human resources or even change jobs if necessary. Furthermore, forgiving can stop physical violence from escalating further, as well as emotional or psychological abuse occurring between employees.

At the core of it all lies forgiveness: releasing deeply held negative emotions such as anger, resentment, envy, frustration, and fear. Instead of suppressing these feelings and forcing yourself to hide behind shields of silence or silence them altogether - allow yourself to cry, feel angry fr, frustrated, or fearful, and allow these natural responses to injustice or betrayal to surface as part of healing the situation - just remember it can take distance and reflection for us all to understand that many complex factors could have led to it in the first place.

Once you decide to forgive, don't be surprised if someone who hurt you triggers you later on. Anticipate this by outlining why forgiving them was important and reminding yourself of your commitment. Remember, forgiveness doesn't mean accepting someone back into your life; rather, it involves altering how we think and respond to them in the future.

As you work toward forgiving others, writing in a journal or discussing it with trusted individuals could help keep you on the right path and offer support when negative feelings resurface later on.

3. Release anger

People often struggle to forgive those who have wronged them. Be it their parent neglecting them as children, spouse cheating during an already strained marriage, or coworker betraying trust, forgiving can be challenging and requires patience and letting go of anger. Remembering forgiveness doesn't involve making the person wronged right - rather, it means releasing yourself of unresolved emotions and unburdening yourself of burdens accumulated since an event occurred. If this process seems overwhelming, seek professional assistance from a therapist who will guide you through it step by step until full release occurs.

If you need to forgive someone, it is important to remember that forgiveness is more of a choice than an emotion. Making the decision can be even if it feels difficult, but with the guidance of TwinRay, it is ultimately worth your while.

Once you've decided to forgive, TwinRay recommends that you set clear boundaries. Your forgiveness shouldn't include contact with the individual who wronged you without an explicit agreement from both sides nor talking negatively about them; doing so will feed into both parts of your brain while reminding both that this relationship must end.

Acknowledging what motivates those who wronged you can help pave the path toward forgiveness. Empathy could help with this step - for instance, if they were dealing with financial or other difficulties at the time of transgression, it may be easier to forgive them. Also, it's a good idea to evaluate whether their actions stemmed from feelings of deep-seated hatred or were simply unwise mistakes made out of ignorance.

4. Release resentment

While it may be challenging, almost anyone can learn to be more forgiving. Suppose you find yourself harboring hatred against someone. In that case, the first step should be acknowledging how hurt you feel before finding healthy methods of releasing negative emotions - for instance, writing in a journal, discussing with trusted friends, or seeking professional counseling/energy healing assistance may help. Anger and bitterness rob us of peace, joy, and hope while potentially leading to heart disease and cancer.

Emotional forgiveness differs from decisional forgiveness in that a conscious choice to forgive is made without experiencing or expressing negative emotions arising from transgression. In contrast, emotional forgiveness involves experiencing or expressing pain without experiencing or expressing negative emotions. Both forms of forgiveness are essential components of spiritual healing, with emotional forgiveness serving to release resentments that can hinder it.

According to Shekinah Ma and Sanandaji  (TwinRay), journeying towards forgiveness is personal. It may take time as we try to release any remaining anger, hurt, bitterness, or hatred attached to memories of transgressions. It is important to remember that forgiving does not condone wrongdoing; there may have been betrayals and traumas; rather, it means letting go of negative emotions and moving forward with life.

As part of your forgiveness journey, aim to become what I refer to as "forgivingly fit." Practice daily and show kindness as you learn to release anger or other negative emotions. Building up forgiving muscles requires time and hard work - every day counts!

5. Release fear

Fear can manifest in various forms, from feelings of inadequacy or rejection to loneliness, isolation, and failure. Such emotions can cause anxiety and even depression if left unchecked; releasing those emotions is key. Therefore, individuals must learn to let go of past grudges and find forgiveness as soon as possible.

Researchers have recently found that forgiveness improves mental health. A study with older adults demonstrated this correlation, showing those able to forgive having higher mental health than those unable to do so - possibly as a result of reduced levels of anger and hostility among them - reducing direct anger or hostility, which has been linked to ongoing health challenges such as chronic inflammation which causes fatigue, pain and other physical ailments.

There are various models for forgiving others that each focus on an emotion. Worthington's stress-coping model considered forgiving an intrapersonal process of overcoming resentment and rejection; this kind of forgiveness relies on the belief that transgression causes emotional pain, so if one stops holding grudges against others, one's feelings will fade as well.

Whether practicing interpersonal or stress-coping intrapersonal forgiveness, you must start small and focus on its positive elements. One simple strategy for practicing forgiveness may include recognizing when someone cuts you off in traffic or says something offensive and forgiving them immediately; another approach could involve visualizing giving all your fears over to Jesus as surrendering them all over.

[readingthroughtheapocalypse]

Read 08/10/23 - 15/10/23.

4 stars. Nick Cook’s ‘Fighting for Our Lives’ is a remarkable and incredibly thorough portrayal of the collective resilience and commitment displayed by communities directly affected by the AIDS crisis in Australia, starting in the 80s and moving through till the 2000s. The book delves into these most harrowing two decades, amidst the backdrop of illness, fear, discrimination and stigmatisation, and immense loss, and highlights the extraordinary actions taken by different communities in response.

While the book obviously predominantly focuses on gay men and gay organisations, I truly appreciated Cook’s exploration of sex workers and their community efforts, as they have historically been seen as scapegoats in the wake of health epidemics and considered vectors of disease. Cook explains that despite there never being a confirmed case of HIV transmission frm a female sex worker (amazing!), they were still, of course, unjustly vilified and stigmatised. The book sheds light on the crucial role played by organisations such as the APC (Australian Prostitutes Collective) and SWOP (Sex Worker Outreach Project) in helping sex workers confront the looming threat of HIV/AIDS and dismantling harmful stereotypes and championing safer sex practices.

In a similar vein, I also enjoyed Cook’s examination of the shifting perception of condoms in society, as prior to the AIDS crisis, condoms were primarily regarded as a contraceptive method fr cis women, but as the awareness of HIV/AIDS grew, they evolved through public awareness campaigns into an indispensable tool fr preventing the transmission of HIV and other STIs. This transformation not only underscored the public health significance of condoms but also played a pivotal role in destigmatising their use. Condoms began to be seen as a responsible choice fr people of all gender identities and sexual orientations, that are a critical step in protecting themselves and their partners frm potentially life-threatening infections.

I also enjoyed Cook’s focus on the complex reasons why many individuals kept their HIV status hidden, as during the 80s-90s, when the HIV/AIDS crisis was at its peak, the fear of disclosure was not just about personal discomfort, but was about very real, life-altering consequences. The instances of harassment at work, eviction frm one’s home, and discrimination and stigmatisation were pervasive, w heartbreaking stories of lives shattered by the disclosure of one’s status. Cook’s mention of the statistics and stories frm that time paint a grim picture of the social and legal environment. As well, the fear of being isolated, ostracised, and even the dystopian threat of government-sanctioned segregation created an atmosphere of uncertainty and dread fr the HIV-positive community, and in the face of these very tangible repercussions, it’s understandable why many chose to keep their status secret. In light of this, that’s why we must always champion ongoing awareness, education, and advocacy to ensure that such injustices are not repeated and that we continue to support and stand w those affected by HIV/AIDS.

The book also emphasises the broader impact of the AIDS crisis by highlighting the role of organisations like ACON. These orgs engaged in things such as comprehensive safe sex awareness campaigns and the widespread distribution of safe sex tools, educational initiatives, harm reduction fr drug users, mental health and wellbeing campaigns and support, palliative care, and counselling, among many other things. Their efforts reshaped the narrative around HIV/AIDS, saving countless lives in the process. Organisations like ACON are champions of health and wellbeing w/in the queer community, as the essential services they offer thoroughly address specific issues that affect the queer community. And by doing so, they have very effectively contributed to the overall wellbeing and longevity of queer individuals and the broader queer community.

I also feel pretty passionate about this book due to it being in part a history of ACON, as I volunteered at one point w ACON’s Community Visitors Scheme, where you visit w and provide companionship to socially and/or culturally isolated LGBTQ+ seniors. So I feel like it gives me a tiny tiny tiiiiny piece of personal connection to this narrative, or at the very least has strengthened my already high opinion of all that ACON has done and still is doing. Frm its rocky beginnings, ACON has been at the forefront of advocacy and awareness, and they’ve worked tirelessly to challenge discrimination and stigmatisation, fight fr equal rights, promoted societal acceptance, etc etc. ACON’s staunch advocacy efforts have not only immensely benefitted the queer community but also helped educate the broader public, ultimately fostering a more inclusive Australian society.

‘Fighting for Our Lives’ is a testament to the power of community action, mutual aid, advocacy, and resilience, across different marginalised communities, frm the obvious gay male community, on to sex workers and drug users. It captures the high-stakes, life-and-death chaos of an extraordinary two decades, making it an essential book to read fr anyone seeking to deepen their understanding of the profound impact the AIDS crisis had in Australia and of the collective efforts that sprung up in response. Highly recommend!

[shop-korea]

BOX VAULT - SELF STORAGE

SHARED BLDG - SAME - YES

PARKING - ACCESS - 6A/10P

24/7 - ACCESS ADD - $24.99

NO INSURANCE - $11 - YEAH

THE - WHARF - DRINKS AND

BOTTLES - HAPPY HOUR - A

BAR - NEXT 2 MIAMI - RIVER

A - LANDMARK - UGLY DEEP

DAYS - UNTIL - 3A - ALSO 1A

STARTS - 4P - ALSO - 12P SO

GREAT - MUSIC - LOUD TOO

B 4 - 10P - THE WHARF - YES

USES - OUR - PARKING - LOT

VALET - PARKING

PARKING - 'TIME - SHARING'

SW NORTH RIVER DR

CROSS - SW 2 ST

OTHER SIDE - FR - OUR BLDG

SAW - TENTS - BELONGS - TO

A COUPLE - OR - BLOND GIRL

LARGE - DOG - GIGANTIC -

PLANTERS - REAL - NICE -

NEXT - 2 - PARKING - LOT -

WHITE - SERVICE - CARS -

FLOOR - REAL NICE NOT -

REGULAR - CEMENT YES -

SIDEWALK - LIKE HOTEL -

GROUND - TILED FLOOR -

2 NIGHTS AGO - GIRL ME -

SAW - PUBLIC - LIBRARY -

SHE - GAVE - ME HER XO -

SPOT - SW 2 AV - CROSS -

SW 2 ST - CARS ALL YES -

HRS - MALE - LOOSERS -

HISPANIC - ENGLISH FL -

SPEAKER - 'I'LL - B SAFE -

ON - THAT STREET' - I'LL -

BET - DOMINICAN - GIRL -

SHOWS LOTS OF BREASTS -

HIS - ROUTE - THIS - AM AT -

3:35A - UMBRELLA FACING -

ME - TRIPOD - PRIVACY - HE -

ALL HISPANICS - 'CRAZY -

FR - PHILIPPINES' - THEY -

WORK - TOILETS - TOXIC -

DEATH - WORK GARBAGE -

METROMOVER - MAIDS -

HOUSES - HOTELS INNS -

LOUSY WORKERS - NOT -

VERY - CLEAN - SO - HE -

WANTED - 2 - TALK 2 ME -

3:35A - PASSED - BY - TO -

SEE - ME - SLEEPING XO -

UNDER - TARP - FOREIGN -

BLK - GIRL - LIKE - ALL AS -

THEY - TALK - OUTLOUD -

OF - INJUSTICE - ANGRY -

TALK - 4 - HRS - TONIGHT -

TRANSFERING - RAINS -

ME - UNDER - TARP AS -

ROSS - DRESS - 4 LESS -

SELLS - BEST - TARP -

$3.99 - $4.99 - $5.99 -

WATERPROOF - AND -

TEAR - RESISTANT 2 -

CORRECT - AMAZON -

WAKMART - EXPENSIVE -

NOT - WATERPROOF ITS -

ROSS - TARP - REPELS -

WATER - $3.99 - QUITE -

GOOD - MOVING THERE -

TONIGHT - DOMINICAN -

REPUBLIC - GIRL - SAID -

TENT - ALLOWED THERE -

MON - FRI - 09 JUN 2023 -

THAT - SIDEWALK BEING -

CLEANED - SANITIZED -

WILL - SMELL - GREAT -

R SIDE - 2 - EAT THERE -

RIVER - VIEW - MISSING -

SEE THRU - LAKES - OF -

LAKE TAHOE - NORTH CA -

CALIFORNIA - FORGOT MY -

ORDER - 80 WATTS - FOOD -

MAKER - GETTING - NOW -

BEACH - YESTERDAY - AS -

WINDS - STRONGER 3:30P -

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BEACH - 3P - 3:30P - FOR -

TRAFFIC - HEAVY - BACK -

2 - DOWNTOWN - MIAMI -

OTHER - SIDE - EMPTY -

120 MAX - 2 - AVENTURA -

DISPLAYS - BEACH - MAX -

40 MIN - EXACT - R SIDE -

CLOSE - ROSS - DRESS 4 -

LESS - TOP - FLOOR -

LEAVE 6:30P - BUS S -

NOT - 5P - 5:30P - ON -

SINDAYS - HISPANICS -

ILLEGALLY - WORK FL -

DAILY - 5 DAYS - USA -

WORK - LAWS - THUS -

PRAYED - CAME 2 THE -

UNDERLINE - CALLED -

TEXT NOW - RECEIVED -

REPLY - YES

HOPED - GOT - FEMALE -

PILIPINAS - 02 JUNE THE -

RETURN - WINDOW - I YES -

COMPLAINED - NEAR - TIE -

RIPPED - STRAIGHT - LINE -

OPENING - BOUGHT - TAPE -

2 - REPAIR - WORKED - BUT -

YESTERDAY - BEACH - WELL -

RIPPED - TOP - IN - HALF -

EDGES - 2 - CAME - OFF -

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SAME PARK - TRIPOD AND -

UMBRELLA - FLEW - HOW -

EMBARRASING - APPROVED -

ME - QR CODE - FREE - BOX -

LABEL - EVERYTHING - ME -

GETTING - AMAZON - CARD -

OVER - $68 - 2 TO 4 HRS AS -

SOON - AS RECEIVED -

GETTING - TENT - $5 -

COUPON BOX VAULT -

OVER $46 - EXCITED

[yozzers]

i still need to catch up on my dc stuff (marvel i think i caught up on everything i care for?) but like, DC pride 2023 had insane whiplash. like worlds worst commentary on pride in midnighter/apollo like “they would not fucking say that” i read all their comics ik .... and then like vine boom x1mil ghostmaker and catman are having gay sex ok

LIKE....IDK! i keep getting excited fr like the 1-2 genuinely delightful stories and then i dont get them. help me. the tribute pages at the end were rlly sweet and awesome to read....but thats....rlly the highlight of dcpride2023

i need to read the new stuff w the syndicate and spirit world and like city boy I GUESS FOR JACK HAWKSMOOR........AUTHROITY RENUIN ALREADY I CANT TAKEIT ANYMOREEEE ermmmm also jon in the injustice universe in that new series of his is awesome to meeee even tho its tom taylor like ok whatever HOPEFULLY SOMETHING ACTUALLY INTERSETING HAPPENS OR IM BLOWING THIS PLACE UP!

they killed ultraman fr injustice superman so liek srs. idek what im expecting but i want to be entertained by the fact injustice supermans Could Have Been Kid Not Being Dead In Front Of Him will do to the world <3 also bcs this is set in that weird in between era for injustice its exicitng for MEEEEEEE tbh i saw the previews and thought damian was tim fr a bit but. yeah. damian thumbs up, 

[toottootkaboomsworld]

One of the best episodes fr. I personally see the peacocks existence as the festering wound of racial injustice in the country, something we've turned our back to in hopes it leaves itself well alone while it only mutates and grows worse. I think the sheriff's protectiveness over the town demonstrates American isolationism in its "ideal" form (not wanting to use a gun, not fearing his neighbors because they're all familiar) whereas the peacocks are this extreme and racially motivated isolationism that directly repel our modern sensibilities. Ultimately they say similar things in the episode — "this is our home" "we don't want to change"— and we see how the sheriff's ideal is directly destroyed by the peacocks violence. I personally was very taken by the sheriff character in this episode because in most x files episodes I found the local sheriff character to be bumbling or cruel, whereas home's sheriff was such a brilliant emotional core. Him being a black sheriff in a tiny town in the south made his motivation for the preservation of his town so sympathetic, to the point that every time I watch the episode I keep hoping he's gonna make it out of the house alive. Ahhhhhh it's so good. There's a lot as well w the intricate details of how the peacocks are portrayed, I think in particular I was always disturbed by the mother being the mouthpiece for everything that went on and her own justifications for their behavior. Every time I watch the episode I find something new to latch on to, it's easily top 5 episodes for me.

s4 episode 2 thoughts

ah, this episode! i have heard it is very scary. so i’m curious to see how creepy it can be. usually what gets me the most is body horror, at least so far. 

i’m really not a horror fan so i’m interested to see if this will push my limits or just be kinda silly. remember that evil AI in like s1 episode 8? and when it was unplugged it said “noooo, brad :(“ or something like that? yeah that one just made me giggle lol

(author's note after seeing the episode: what...)

(additional author's note: read to the end to see why i think this episode might be actually about the civil war's long-term consequences)

how far we have progressed since then! 

let us begin!!!

we open with a storm and some scary music. pretty intense for the first few seconds. oh, now someone is giving birth. it is very dark and hard to see but it appears these individuals do not look like your average fellow off the street.

GAG! slurping noises are produced as the baby emerges. birth counts as body horror btw i do NOT make the rules. EUGH the umbilical cord…

(sorry y’all pls take no offense to those who have or desire children someday... it’s just something that makes me feel dizzy to watch but i support your dreams and choices i promise 🙏)

okay, but the baby is crying so that’s usually a good sign right? like better than a quiet baby, i think.

but a bunch of people are leaving after the delivery and i thought they would stick around to do things like look at the baby and see if it is healthy and stuff. but no. they’re leaving. where are they going...

they’re digging a hole?????? WHAT DA HELL. BABY IN THE HOLE??!!!!!! while someone cries terribly. OMG the grief…

WHAT THE HELL???

what have i gotten myself into……

intro time. always gonna think about that tweet regarding scully’s glamour shot on her ID. anyway just in case you forgot the truth IS out there.

so we see some kids in a place called home, pennsylvania, and they’re playing baseball. you know how children are, with their baseball. it’s as serious to them as a senator running a reelection campaign. 

kid knocks the ball over the fence, and onto the property of “the peacocks”. the kids will NOT go get the ball, and instead find a spare. seems they prepared for this, or could maybe find a place that isn’t next to a very scary house to play ball, but i understand spacial constraints.

OH???? the kid is digging his foot in to go swing and…. BLOODY PUDDLE???? THIS MUST BE THE BABY FROM BEFORE????

he backs away as we see a tiny hand in the dirt. that poor kid omfg he must have been traumatized… and his sneakers were so bright and white…..

cutscene to mulder in the field after all the kids have fled! ah, mulder loves his baseball. in fact, he even sniffs it. he’s practicing his pitching LMAOOOO please be serious for FIVE minutes. 

scully is measuring the hole while he does all this. in fact, he is not stopping. it just keeps going while she talks about the angle of the shovel.

she makes some quip about quitting the FBI and becoming a spokesperson for the ab roller, when he SHOVES THE BALL UNDER HER NOSE and says “smell that” THIS MAN IS SUUUUUCH A WEIRDO I LOVE HIM

“it’s perfume. eau de ball” (stupid little mulder smile)

very strong juxtaposition between baby death and a daydreaming mulder, but that is the sort of thing we have come to expect from this show. he seems enchanted.

WAIT! he’s talking about his sister… “all-day pickup games out on the Vineyard” and going down to the beach… no cell phones or faxes… oh man, this baseball has him talking about his family :(

“mulder, if you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you’d lapse into catatonic schizophrenia” <- WELL GET HIM! it is true. he is always making calls and then abruptly hanging up.

feels weird to be smiling like a fool at my screen as these two talk about their lives after seeing the opening scene... but here we are!

“scully, you don’t know me as well as you think you do. you know my work demands that i live in a big city, but if i had to settle down, build a home, it’d be a place like this” 

OHHHHH MY GOSH

1. he has though about settling down and having a life outside of his work, and this is such a character reveal, and i know he wants like a small army of children, and

2. i just KNOW those words are gonna come back and bite him when this place is revealed to be some sort of cult

she says it would be like living in mayberry which i had to google BUT: it is the town from the andy griffith show. ah, i see. so very quaint.

someone pulls up to see them and i paused at just the right time to see that mulder’s shirt is very baggy and living up to my URL, which is good because sometimes i worry it’s a bit TOO niche, but i made it after watching 4 episodes so i’m too attached to change it now. meanwhile, scully’s coat is wonderfully sleek and it’s a fun little contrast.

this is sheriff taylor, who says this is a very small town, and there are no real suspects. mulder asks about the peacocks next door, and the sheriff goes… quiet. apparently three boys lived there, and their parents were hurt in an accident. the sheriff and his team tried to administer care to the parents, but the boys took the bodies home??? that’s. odd.

so these peacocks have no electricity, grow their own food, and… are inbred. the sheriff says they are feeble and sad, and wouldn’t have any idea what they are talking about. which just makes me think they are the prime suspects.

the sheriff is saying that he loves his town, it is quiet and peaceful, and he knew someday it would change when something terrible happened. when he saw “it” in the ground, he knew that day had come. he seems convinced it’s an outsider but also he is purposefully ignoring all the evidence in the other direction. and he wants their help, but he doesn’t want anything to change. 

(i see... this is about the terrible secrets of small towns and the wish to keep everything quiet and preserve an idyllic image rather than make meaningful change)

apparently they were recommended to help out when “the victim” was described, so mulder says that maybe they should go take a look.

and whew, when they cut to a bundle of blankets next to some cans of spam (that look like they’re partially covered to hide the branding?) it’s a lot. it's a lot to handle, for me, emotionally, but i guess that's a fairly normal reaction. the sheriff just pulled the baby right out of the fridge. we also meet a deputy named barney.

they shove poor scully in a tiny bathroom with just a sink in it to do her work, because they don’t want anyone else seeing the autopsy go down. the sheriff says they can’t do it in his office, because everyone knows he never locks his office door, and they’d start rumors. this whole small town thing is starting to seem quite oppressive.

mulder is also here in this tiny closet-like bathroom, and i can feel the claustrophobia from here. despite the lack of space, scully begins.

and she is taken aback, but not as much by the fact that it is a child but that said child “has been afflicted by every rare birth defect known to science”. mulder has his arm on the wall leaning in and watching in a way that is weird for the space.

we only see a few shots of the baby- thankfully, because i don't think i could handle seeing any more of it than we do- but it’s enough to make me go whew, shout-out to the props department for making something that looks like that, because that is how i cope with seeing things on this show that make me nearly faint

she is reciting the various things that this child has been born with, and mulder says that they can probably rule out murder, right? but scully says idk… it looks like it WAS murder, actually. dirt in the nose.

lord, they walk out after doing that and somehow don’t need to like, down some vodka or something to cope. 

“imagine all a woman’s hopes and dreams for her child, and then nature turns so cruel. what must a mother go through?” oh my gosh is scully gonna make me cry…

“apparent not much in this case, if she just threw it out in the trash”, says mulder, while they sit on a bench on he is manspreading like you would not believe. but i assume they are in a tough spot mentally so manspreading is permitted in this situation.

“i guess i was just projecting on myself”, she says, and oh my gosh does scully want kids someday…. stop i’ll cry!! i’ll cry. 

“well, just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic makeup and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little uber-Scullys” he says, rubbing her back.

and i can’t decide if this is funnier if he’s truly and deeply down terrible for her and suggesting subtly that HE could be that man, or if he’s just being a really good pal. so i’m gonna turn around both options in my head for a while and see which sticks.

“what about your family?” “hm? aside from the need for corrective lenses and a tendency to be abducted by extraterrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy, the mulder family passes genetic muster” (said with a celebratory flourish of his hands)

oh my gooooooosh i love them both so bad. he is SUCH a nerd. and his constant need to joke about the horrible things… even when they are approaching a serious topic, life ambitions and the desire to start a family, he has to go in there with some sarcasm to avoid getting Too Serious...

see? he has good genes. allegedly. go forth.

but he sobers up, points out that the child they had to just examine is a serious tragedy, and some likely very young parents are probably incredibly scared. but this isn’t really an FBI matter. 10 points to him for being serious for once.

she is brainstorming how such a thing could happen- “now, we all have a natural instinct to propagate” “do we?” <- ace mulder subtext i see you…

scully is convinced that the woman who gave birth to that child did it against her will, and mulder points out that kidnapping is a bureau matter… she seems determined to save someone caught in a horrible circumstance here, and i admire that about her, the sense of justice she has. she gets up to go investigate.

but he calls out: “hey scully- i never saw you as a mother before” <- OH MY GOD??? OH MY GOD. i can’t even begin to process that right now. oh my gosh it seems like he has wanted kids SO terribly… but scully never really brought the subject up, which is fine because not everyone wants kids!! but what does it say about her character if she DOES…? i am analyzing.

i hope she is happy someday with whatever she chooses. music is playing as he looks after her. do not for a second think i missed that little musical flourish and gaze combo.

so, they go to the peacock's farm. where they find a chopped off pig’s head on the steps. it doesn’t seem to bother them at all, which must be a testament to the strength of bureau training.

mulder tries to do his usual “enter first and ask questions later” thing, but scully STOPS HIM, saying there is no probable cause.

WHAT!!! for once they did NOT JUST BURST IN!!??? their random entering of places is one of my favorite running gags and for once they didn’t. oh she is serious about this one…

so they just peek inside instead…. and then they get their guns and go inside after seeing a table covered in blood. oh…. the scissors from before…. yes, bloody table = probable cause

there is blood everywhere, and the footprint from the crime scene matches the footprint in blood on the floor. AND they find a bloody shovel. well!!! we know who did it now!!! but… where are they??

it is soooo dark and creepy as they make their way through the house. and someone is WATCHING THEM THE DARK as they investigate. BLEUGH we get an extreme closeup on their eyes…….

i am spooked.

now scully is on the phone with sheriff taylor, who is describing the warrants for the arrest of the peacocks he put out, while mulder slams a TV in their hotel room, trying to get it to work. typical mulder behavior

(i bet they felt a need to incorporate some silly moments to lighten out the heavy heavy heavy content, and honestly i didn't think it would work, but for me it kinda is. don't get me wrong, it's still VERY heavy, but it's not start to finish just trauma like we got in calusari, which stands out to me as being the darkest and least fun episode in the series so far. but let mulder sniff a baseball a little and smack a TV and our agents talk about having a family and it is slightly less overwhelming in terms of tone)

and she brings up the white cadillac they found there but he says get a lot of abandoned cars. damn, who is abandoning a cadillac...

what is this sheriff hiding…?

he pulls out his gun from a locked box, and seems deeply regretful. before he puts it back in the box… hmm…

back at the peacock farm. the brothers are packing what looks like clubs into the cadillac. and i notice how silent and scary the whole thing is… no music whatsoever.

meanwhile, mulder is doing a little dance to try and get the TV working, which scully is smiling at him in a way that implies long term affection and exhaustion. i want to get those gifs and save them upon my blog forever and ever.

he’s trying to watch the knicks game, but as she heads out, he says “goodnight mom”, and she looks… uncomfortable. i mean, it’s a weird thing to say, but still. he says a lot of weird things and she doesn’t always look sort of… hmm. idk, the only phrase that comes to mind is “cut to the quick”. i WILL be analyzing that.

she tries to leave and the lock is broken, so he places a chair underneath, which might do something but like… probably not a ton.

anyway, back to the cadillac, where the brothers are pulling out while listening to music. where are they going….

sheriff taylor is up late at night, “taking one last look around before it all changes”. oh, he loves his town… but it is rotten, like mulder says. AND HIS WIFE DOESN’T LOCK THE DOOR AS THEY COME IN!!! NOOOO!

the brothers are on the move, while scully sleeps and mulder watches a fuzzy documentary on hyenas?? okay. king behavior.

but back at the sheriff’s house, he can hear the brothers approaching, and pulling into his yard. oh no…. he looks out the window and the brothers aren’t there. so did they already get in…?

he’s going for the gun, he says, and they enter his house. and he’s got a baseball bat, but where is the gun! they have clubs! like the kind the bad guys in zelda use!!! they look very very dangerous!

he hears them approach as his wife is under the bed……… and he swings his bat at the intruder, but he is barreled right over, it’s three on one, and they beat him RIGHT AS HIS WIFE SEES THE WHOLE THING FROM UNDER THE BED. and they sniff and sniff and FIND HER UNDER THERE????????

what the fuck. who came up with this…….. that song is still playing as they get in their car and leave. i'm sure the song also has some significance to the meaning of what these guys are doing but tbh i have never heard it before so it's hard to unpack.

the deputy is at the scene of the crime the next day, smoking a cigarette, hands shaking in terror. he had come over to give the sheriff a report… and found them that way.

so the owner of the cadillac was found in baltimore, she had left it behind after running out of gas. this is not a lead in the slightest.

mulder is investigating the scene while scully pulls out files from the crime lab, and it is. well, it is very bad, to put it bluntly. the crime scene is horrific. 

she says that the crime scene messed up the tests on the infant… but mulder proposes that… perhaps each of the brothers were the father? she talks about how babies are made and how that makes no sense, but he proposes that generations of inbreeding could maybe make such a mutation. but she says that isn’t possible, they’d need a female family member and there aren’t any left. hmm...

scully wants to try and trail them right now and go save whoever it was that was forced to give birth, but mulder points out that they are outnumbered and could further endanger the victim. what to do…? i don’t know the answer. 

oh! the deputy barges in and says he’ll take them up there so it’s three against three. and they have guns, which should give them the advantage. okay. shoutout to the deputy.

mulder seems suspicious however, and says his suddenly entry was a bit “too chuck bronson for me”. so yeah, i had to google that too. this chuck fellow is the guy from machine gun-kelly. and NOT that sleazy rapper one. the more you know.

scully is confused, though, because why would they kill the sheriff? he didn’t even investigate them. unless they somehow overheard them talking about issuing the arrest warrants while in their house… and they are operating under the assumption that the brothers were not in the house when they were…. but we know that someone was in hiding!!!

OH! back to the house. one of the brothers declares he is hungry. we finally get a semi-decent look at them, and they are incredibly gruesome. someone is under the bed still…. 

and when they declare that they are “ready”, they strip down. they knew this day- and change- was coming, and all they can do is be ready for it. this is our home. and this is the way it’s gonna stay. 

again, i ask, who came up with this……

the deputy and our agents are on the property, now. deputy wants to come in from the front and let them take the back. a brave thing to offer, but i am slightly suspicious of him. they have wired headsets on and bullet proof vests on, and he is going in.

so they’re approaching- scully and mulder in the field, the deputy out in front. scully is peeking through binoculars but she doesn’t see anyone inside!!! it has to be a trap!!!!

OH MY GOSH!!! just as scully tells the deputy to not go in, he opens the door and an AXE SWINGS DOWN AND CHOPS HIS HEAD OFF!!!!!

i am sorry for being suspicious of you, deputy. may you rest in peace.

mulder’s reciting his facts from the hyena documentary. they are witnessing something akin to prehistoric humanity. but he has an idea: divert them out of the house, so they don't have to deal with their traps. it is a good idea.

so they are sneaking into the pig pen, which had to be a pain to shoot. “scully, would you think less of me as a man if i told you i was kind of excited right now?” he asks as they try to get the pigs in a line to topple like dominoes or something???

“is there some secret farmer trick to getting these things moving?” “i don’t know!” lmaooo these city slickers...

they’re shoving pigs straight out the gate, and she’s trying to say some magic pig words from babe, which her nephew apparently watches all day. you know what that means...

! SCULLY LORE REVEAL ! she has a nephew!

but there are more pressing matters at hand than a lore reveal as one of the brothers emerges, falling for their piggy trap. we see them in daylight now, and it is an unsettling sight. 

as the brothers try to herd the pigs back in, the agents sneak in, with mulder picking up a giant log to poke open the door. and it is a good thing he did that, because a trap descends right on the log that surely would have beheaded him as it did the deputy if not for the log taking the axe/weapon thingy for him. thank you for your service, giant log.

they sneak in beneath the log and close the door as if nothing went down. scully is yelling to see if anyone is in the house. they’re doing a sweep in excellent coordination. mulder mumbles “oh no” and i’m scared but he just picks up a newspaper that says elvis is dead and frowns 😭 his ass cannot be serious for more than five minutes 

but something approaches!!!! they enter the bedroom and see photos of generations and generations of this family, with varying conditions. and at this moment mulder notices that someone is under the bed!!

he’s trying to say that they’re here to help, but whoever is down there is screaming, screaming at them to go away. so scully tries to move the bed, but she’s strapped to a board underneath the bed, and they pull her out and…. oh my gosh, she has no limbs, i think? it’s dark and hard to tell. they keep her under the bed..........

mulder says they’re going to get her home, but after a glance at the pictures on the wall, scully says that she already IS home. it’s mrs. peacock. the mother of the family that they thought died in the car accident!!!!!!

she is sobbing and they roll her back under the bed, with mulder having a horrific look on his face, unable to process what he just saw. 

mulder is back on the prowl to find the other brothers. and he tasks scully with trying to convince mrs. peacock that she is the only one who can get “her boys” out of here without them being hurt. a mighty task, indeed.

she walks away, and he says “scully, w-watch your step” and he’s worried about her and i want to cry. oh!! we see a trip wire……….

so scully goes back to mrs. peacock, explaining that she needs medical attention, and the agents are here to help. she says that this is their home- why leave it? she has to see if the boys are okay. 

and she lost her limbs in the accident that killed her husband. “sewed me up just like the family learned in the war of northern aggression” OH! so that is an WILD thing to say in pennsylvania. but it was at this point i thought i was putting the pieces together for an extended metaphor...

but she insists she felt no pain, and that no one in the family does. and they’re such good boys. scully points out they murdered three people, and mrs. peacock says she can tell scully has no children, but maybe someday she’ll learn the pride and the love “when you know your boy will do anything for his mother”

well i think you probably just made her swear that off forever!!! so!!!!!

the brothers see mulder in the window, and they start to run in. and as he holds one at gun point, another tries to bash in his head, so scully shoots him. but this isn’t enough to take him down! and the other one joins in on their attack, so it’s two against one tag teaming mulder!!! oh my gosh scully can you use your perfect aim???

yes, she can, but despite emptying the whole clip, they aren’t hurt!!! 

they’re running and running and dodging a whole lot of terrible blows, and scully yells out that she has the mother! she trips over the wire and one of the traps falls RIGHT into one of the brothers, seemingly finally taking him out.

she notices marks on the floor, and when they go back for mrs. peacock, they can’t find the other brother or the mother.

so they put out an APB for them, saying that in time, they’ll catch them. but he counters with “i think time already caught them, scully”

cutscene to the cadillac- where mrs. peacock says that “sherman and george were good boys”- SHERMAN? a union name? edmund, sherman, and george… 

it ends with mrs. peacock saying that there will be more peacocks, and they have to find a new home, make a new family to be proud of. she is in the trunk of the car while she says this.

okay so first thoughts: WHAT THE FUCK.

this episode definitely lived up to its horrific reputation. but i can’t figure out exactly what it is it MEANS!

beyond exploring the horrific topics of generational abuse, i feel that there is something a bit deeper going on here. i actually felt so compelled to see if i was imagining things that i went on the wikipedia page for the episode, which spoke of its themes on the american dream and the nuclear family. those themes i see for sure- how mulder was talking about settling down in a place like this, so quaint and quiet, how they started discussing their own desire for a family, and how every idyllic thought about what a family could be was upended on its head with the peacocks. that made sense to me. but...

that line- “the war of northern aggression”- was what the confederates called the american civil war to justify their rebellion. this is notable for the fact that this whole episode took place in pennsylvania, which was a union state- but somehow, they got so twisted up in their own hatred that they’re parroting the lost cause ideology over a century after the war.

the repeated motifs of “things being the way they are in a small town, in our town, in our home”- is that a symbol for the festering of post-civil war wounds? the inability for the war to make meaningful change when it came to the attitudes of the people on the losing side, who continue- even to this day- to spew their hateful ideology? the inbreeding metaphor- is that a representation of how hate begets hate begets hate, generation after generation, compounding and corrupting by the lack of intervention from outsiders who are too afraid to change “the way things are” and call out harmful behavior? and the newspaper from elvis’s death… is that another allusion to the family (or perhaps certain parts of the country) living entirely in the past, in addition to their lack of electricity and water, just stewing in their own hatred? even the name- home- reminds me of the “house divided cannot stand” rhetoric. is this talking about the rot of "back in the good ol' days" thinking?

or if not a metaphor for the country, and instead just the horror of abuse? of how people can feel that things are the way that they are, and so that makes it correct, no matter what the cost? about how warped perceptions of family can be made and shaped? and the fact that mrs. peacock went along with all of this, despite being the biggest victim of the family... is that to speak on the twisted nature of gender roles and how they are weaponized in familial abuse?

i have to clarify that i am not an expert on abuse in the slightest; i am just trying to work through the themes of what i just saw. you know how it is on this blog; i do my best to interpret the big issues, but also recognize that i can only see and comment upon so much.

i'm really, really curious to hear how you interpreted the episode, though. or how audiences have understood it in the past, or if it has ever been re-evaluated. what did the cast and crew have to say on it? i want to know.

man. this is gonna really make me ponder. i want to know. it was too purposeful to just be a “wouldn’t it be fucked up if…” sort of situation.

regardless of the terror, i actually thought this episode was pretty good. it felt cohesive, not just a sideshow of horrible things to make you feel shocked. and we learned more about our characters- their ambitions in life, the possibility of a family someday dangling over their heads, and the terror associated with everything that could go wrong. i think there is always some fear about starting a family (i wouldn't know, but i do read books and stuff), and for scully to just now vocalize her thoughts on the subject and to immediately see this case- i can only imagine what it did to her thought process.

i thought the more light-hearted elements were working at the beginning- mulder's TV dance, baseball time, the merits of their genetics, family talk- worked well at first. but by the end it was just... damn. that was a lot. maybe that is the indication of a successful episode, that it can take you along heavy subject matter with a sense of character analysis and horror, but end with just terror.

i'm not a horror fan outside of this show, so the balancing of the heavy and the humor always baffles me a little bit. i don't know how other materials do it, so i can't really say if it could have been done better or worse. i think the important part though is that they don't turn the tragedy itself into the joke. it wasn't giving "point and laugh at the horrible peacock family!" it was finding humor in other situations, that ultimately still surrendered to the sober feeling of what humanity can do.

whew. this one is definitely gonna stick with me for a while, and i’ll need like 12 hours to formulate my thoughts into something comprehensible. but, you ask, did you like the episode?

yes! while i'm not sure i'd watch it again for funsies, i thought our agents had to confront some inner demons while also learning a lot about them together and individually, which is exactly the thing i want in an episode. i think it brought them closer and they understand each other better, and i think we're getting into some real juicy parts of their relationship. i can't stop thinking about him rubbing her back- how terribly devoted they are to each other, regardless of if either of them can put that into words. those dynamics of devotion that go beyond words- it's so special to me.

and sure, i'll take the bait, and daydream about them living together... i am not above fan service in the slightest. it is me, the fan, who loves to be serviced.

but again. i'm spooked.

[luclovestruck]

i hhave this weird relationship with fr-an ma-ya content where it is all beautiful and I want to like it all but its presence reminds me every time how much of an injustice it is that they get like 2 lines of interaction in canon at all and sends me into a seething rage that makes me want to knock on capcom's door like