#its so hard to find good references online quickly

[miapcain]

pet peeve

[fertilize-my-eggs]

Send to the mha omegaverse Ch.1

Am I dead?!? ch.2 ch.3 ch.4 A03

A/N: This story is a self-insert x shigaraki if you don't like self-insert, y/n and dark theme content this isn't for youuuu!! It's for me personally since I thought about it for a while so I finally wrote about this, I hope y'all don't find me too boring in this story. 18+ no minors or antis, maps interact with my contacts GO AWAY!! I'll post this every Thursday not this Thursday but the next one!! (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。*edit* I changed my quirk a bit so it's not a touching type of quirk but eye contact means that the reader can't look at people in the eyes so I do apologize for anyone who got confused by it.

✩｡♡ ࣪ ˖❀ ⑅ *✩｡♡ ࣪ ˖❀ ⑅ *✩｡♡ ࣪ ˖❀ ⑅ *✩｡ ♡ ࣪ ˖❀ ⑅ *

Living a boring life as a 26 year old woman, I would wake up to feed my cute dogs as I sat down to watch YouTube on television. It's like a hamster running on its wheel, everything repeats and it's the same. 

My life isn't as perfect as the others, it's like a roller coaster sometimes. I enjoy my time alone by watching anime and gushing over fictional characters online.

Most importantly tomura shigaraki, I couldn't help but smile whenever I see him on screen while I scroll on YouTube. I would gush over his voice and the way he talks in it.

I giggle whenever it's shown a video of him talking in his gaming references.

Man I love him so much, I thought to myself as I scroll away to see crochet Tiktok or tutorials on how to make cute items.

I pouted as I thought about it. Maybe I should crotchet outside and make a cute little bag with flowers, I smile happily.

I get up to walk into my room, I bring my bag that has my material as I went to get the yarns that I want to use.

Once I get a good handful of yarns, I begin to walk outside to look at the sky. It's a bit cloudy then usually as I walk towards a chair with a nice shade underneath my tree.

I begin to crochet quietly and watch the neighbors do their work. It was calm and relaxing weather today.

Suddenly I feel a drop of rain on my hair as I look up, maybe it won't rain as bad.

I continue to focus on my project as I ignore the rain. It was getting a bit bad as I quickly put my project away and started to run towards the door.

A sudden flash of light hit my view, costing me to close my eyes tight and ringing in my ears… Am I dead?!? as I fell over onto a cement… weird, I should feel the hard ground of dirt why is it hard and why am I hearing people talking?!?

I slowly raise my head up to witness a group of people standing around me. What I notice off the bat is that it's not realistic but it's like something that you feel is uncanny.

Everyone looked like cartoon characters and I noticed there was a mall that had a hero merch.

I immediately recognize the hero as it has all might… could this be.. no it can't be, I sat upwards as I began to look around my surroundings.

There were heros rusting in and asking me questions, it felt so surreal and it hurt my brain.

How… Can a simple thunder send me here in their universe!? I started to breathe heavily, feeling like it's a twilight zone.

I grip my hair as I curl into a ball, this isn't happening but this is what you wanted right?

You get to be someone in this universe then your old boring life, I begin to blink a few times to notice my belongings aren't with me.

What the hell? Where is my bag and everything??? Then I hear a familiar voice coming in, he has a concerned gentle voice.

“ Are you alright ma'am? ” I immediately look up to see izuku midoriya standing in front of me. It feels so bizarre, there is no way in hell. I can't look him in the eyes, everything feels and looks weird as I try not to freak out.

I slowly get off the floor, I clean myself off as I said.” I-I’m okay thank you young man.” is this the first season?? because izuku looks like he's wearing a black outfit and golden button as I witness the hero taking down a big villain that has deep brown hair as people were gathering toward mt lady while kamui woods looks a bit annoyed by this.

“ y-yeah you fell over on the ground costing everyone to be worried about you. ” he awkwardly put a hand on his neck as he chuckled as I stood still. Does this affect the story of this universe? It feels so wrong talking to him and knowing what happened in the manga.

“ yeahh… I'm doing fine-.” wait do I have a quirk in this universe, I gotta have a quirk.

Hopefully it is useful, people are more interested in the hero than a random stranger falling to the floor as I try anything.

Izuku tilts his head a bit confused by what I'm doing as I throw hands in the air or something like a power move..

“ What are you doing? ” I stop as I look at him but not directly as I think of something that isn't crazy.

“ uhh… I'm trying to see if I have a quirk but nothing is working. '' his eyes widened in an optimistic way.

“ oh!! Maybe you have something to do with contact kind of quirk?? Are you quirkless? ” I tilt my head as I think, it could be like a normal quirk or it could be like shigaraki's quirk. Where I accidentally hurt someone and that is izuku as I try to stay calm.

“ uhh I'm not sure… to be honest. ” I don't know how to tell someone that I'm not in this world or don't belong here.

“ Uhhm do you have a paper or pencil? ” he nodded his head as he pulled a piece of paper out.

I put my hand out as he put the paper on my palm, nothing happened okay so it's not like decay quirk as I sighed in relief.

“ mhmm how about you use it on me ma'am? ” I tilt my head with confusion as he begins to wave his hands fast.

“ no.. I meant to use my hand. ” I shake my head as I apologize to him, I hold my breath.

“ What if it hurts you? ” I had a worried look as izuku has a hopeful expression. 

“ I mean it didn't affect the paper, it would be-..” he started to mumble as I forgot he does this sometimes as I waited patiently and he started to apologize quickly.

“ oh my goodness I'm sorry miss, I-I tend to have a habit of doing that. ” I smile gently as I said.

“ you're fine, I tend to have it too when I'm hyper focused about something. ” he sighs in relief as he puts his hand out.

“ Whenever you're ready, miss.” I begin to hold my breath as I put my hand on top of his..

Nothing works, alright I'll try looking at him-... As we make eye contact as I pause for a second as I look at midoriya.

He looked at me strangely as he had a doopy silly smile and pulled me close into a hug as I gasped out loud.

What the hell?? Why is he acting like this so suddenly?

“ I'm in love with youuuu ma'am~!! ” oh… does this mean my quirk is.. something to do with love? Or maybe it's a yandere lovestruck type of quirk.

I shake him out of it and he blink a few times.

“ uhh w-what happened? ” I feel my cheeks getting red from embarrassment as I awkwardly laugh.

“ I think my quirk is lovestruck because you hugged me and said that you're in love with me so I can't make eye contact with anyone.”

“ in l-love?? That…” he gasps from this as he writes it down in his notebook fast.

“ incredible!! That quirk sounds so interesting and puts people in a mindset where they can't remember anything afterwards-. ” hearing him mutter about the possibilities of my quirk as I start to feel nervous so I can't make eye contact with others, this is gonna be a challenge .

I start to think about the possibilities as I put my thumb on my lips. A lovestruck quirk sounds harmless to others but I can't imagine if I accidentally look at the wrong person, will it be a dangerous individual or…

I widen my eyes as I pause for seconds since I know shigaraki and every character exists. What if I accidentally stare at him, will he be fully yandere towards me?

No that's possible, this is crazy… Everything feels so bizarre, I need to get home asap.

“ ma'am? ” I don't look directly at Midoriya but with confusion as I noticed him holding his nose as if I smell bad, I don't think I smell… okay now I feel self-conscious about it.

“ you should get patches on your neck, you don't want an alpha to bite your neck..”

Not only I'm in my hero academia universe but it's an omegaverse, this couldn't get any better..

[hominivorax-hematovore]

So, I recently bought an SS10 Jazz, and as all of my Jazzes need Prowls to accompany them, I decided to embark on a project to make one for him. This idea had already been brewing in my head for a while, so now I had the perfect excuse to carry it out. I had a base in mind already-this guy:

Protoform OP might not look much like Bayverse Prowl at first glance but he’s got the most important feature for me-the chest window placement. Bayverse Prowl has got that weird red bra-like design going and this figure is the only one that was close enough to it to work for me, making him the obvious choice for a starting point. Those awful monkey feet had to go, though, but more about that later.

After that was taken care of I needed a head and spent way longer than I would like to admit flailing around online, digging through files on 3D printing sites to try to find something that could work, either on its own or with some kludging together of multiple files as I’ve done before. I failed pretty hard and was at a loss, and then I had a lightbulb moment: I had a leftover Bumblebee movie Ratchet head from a custom Strongarm I did. With some minor modifications I’d have a perfectly serviceable movieverse Prowl head. (Pictured here with the very quick and messy test paint job I gave him post-modification.)

Now that the head was sorted out, I needed to find a few other bits. Bayverse Prowl has distinctly clawed fingers, so off I went to Cults3D again, and found some very nice Warhammer conversion parts that worked beautifully with a little editing, since he has three-fingered hands and not four-fingered ones. (I’m not going to talk about how many tries it took to get prints of those that were a) scaled correctly and b)didn’t lose any fingers when I tried to remove them from the printing supports.) Eventually I had some that worked beautifully. After that came the feet, which I put together from a base of existing TF parts files and more Warhammer conversion parts from Cults. (I’m also not going to talk about how long this took or the fact that I had to try three times to get the scaling correct.) They’re not accurate to what I can see of his feet in the comic, but I’m going more for vibes here than perfect replication and accuracy.

Using those and the wings from an AM-style printable Prowl I have saved, I put together a rough digibash of what I wanted to do. I eventually decided, once the figure was in-hand, that the Earth-mode wings would look too weird with the distinctly Cybertronian body and made him some new ones based on his Defiance comic appearance which I put together from an axe I found on Cults. These are what I had in mind at the time, though, so they’re what’s in the bash. 

Now actually having a plan laid out and the figure in hand, I started modifications. I took off all of the bits I didn’t want, and started changing the parts that needed some alterations to be closer to his comic design. First was the legs, where I added on to the top of the thigh at the hip ball. Then I reused some cut off bits on the front of the pelvis, and took a mould from another figure’s hip plate and cast in in miliput for the back. I ended up hating it and changing it fairly quickly, but this is what the initial modification looked like:

I also reused parts that I’d taken off to modify his back so that I could fit the new wings on and refit the lip that holds up the plate containing the socket for the head. Once I got that done, I took off the original hands, put the clawed hands on, and fit his upper torso together to see how everything was looking so far. Pretty good, I think.

I moved on after that, redoing the back waist using more bits I’d removed from the figure and adding details to the ab section to match the reference I’ve been working from, and adding some Lego car fenders to the shoulders for the same reason as well as cutting off those bits sticking up on the torso so that I can attach his missile launchers in their place. It was about then that I thought I was finished with the modifications, as everything was looking good to me. I was, alas, not quite done. I accidentally snapped off the peg on the end of a wing, so I had to do one last bit of modifying by cutting them down so they didn’t stick out so far and then making the mounting holes bigger to slot them in. 

Once that was done, I actually was finished and put him together to get an overall view of how he was looking compared to my main ref image. 

Pretty close, I think, paint or the lack thereof notwithstanding. As it stands right now, the hard part is done and I just need to wait for the white paint I ordered to arrive so I can get him painted up properly and looking his Prowliest.

[magnonegplusblog]

Choosing the Right Digital Production Agency for Your Needs

The world is turning digital and so is the way we communicate. Our communication forms now include social media, messaging apps, online advertising, email, video conferencing and much more.  

In this digital-driven world, businesses need to exploit the benefits these communication forms have to offer. Whether you are planning to launch a new product, revitalize your online presence or expand to the international market, choosing the right agency can help you to survive the digital landscape. 

We invite you to read through this article to learn how to screen potential digital production agencies. 

Body Content:  

Evaluate Expertise and Services Offered 

One of the most important factors to keep in mind when choosing the right digital production agency is checking their expertise in the digital platform and the digital market.  

Moreover, a good digital production agency is one that offers varied services. Such services could range anywhere from content marketing (compelling narratives to enhance your brand’s visibility and engagement), creative production (high-quality content that goes well with the audience), localization (marketing messages relevant to diverse demographics to enhance the brand's global footprint), and to marketing automation services (streamline your campaigns to generate leads).  

When they are skilled in providing such services, then only they will be able to serve marketing solutions that work. Moreover, this also leads them to provide better campaigns leading to an increase in the customer base. 

Check Their Portfolio and Case Studies 

It is important to take a hard look at their past work. This will help you see how creative and innovative they are. Look for examples of work that is similar to yours and find out what specific results they were able to achieve. An impressive portfolio will be that which has a variety of projects and was successfully able to adapt to the client’s industry for their audience.  

Assess Their Approach to Strategy and Collaboration 

A successful partnership is only possible when there’s a clear line of communication along with collaboration at all levels. That is why you need to ask the agency about how they develop strategies and what type of approach they follow for that. A good agency will be one that employs a data-driven strategy. This will help ensure that the company and the agency are on the same page. 

Look for Innovation and Flexibility 

An agency needs to keep up with the changing digital landscape. They need to be able to adapt to new trends and technologies.  

Moreover, look for an agency that doesn’t hold back from experimenting with different formats and using different approaches. They should also have the ability to repurpose existing content. This way they can make sure there is always new and interesting material. 

Evaluate Client Testimonials and References 

Ask the company for testimonials from their clients. When you read what the agency’s past customers have to say, you will learn about how the agency works, how quickly it answers questions, and its ability to deliver on its promise. If there are many good reviews, it means the agency is reliable. 

Consider Cultural Fit and Values 

Finally, you need to consider the agency’s culture and values. This is important to consider because you will be partnering with that agency for a stretch of time. This helps to build a good working relationship.  

Look for agencies that have the same values as your company. The digital production agency in Delhi you choose needs to have the same commitment to quality, new ideas, and customer satisfaction. These all lead to more successful outcomes. 

Conclusion 

Think carefully about the above factors when you are looking for a digital production agency. With the right support, you can transform your marketing efforts. Also, this way you can effectively engage with your audience across multiple channels and at any scale. 

If you are looking for a digital production agency in Delhi, then please get in touch with us and get the bang for your buck. 

Author:  

Ritu Srivastav, Magnon eg+ is a skilled person who makes digital content for companies in Delhi. She has worked at many good companies and knows how to make interesting digital content for different customers. As a key player in a leading digital production agency in Delhi, she consistently delivers results that exceed expectations. 

[developerwith1]

From 'As Above, So Below' to 'Vato': Understanding Today's Most Popular Slang Terms

Language is constantly evolving, and nowhere is this more evident than in the world of slang. From philosophical expressions like “As Above, So Below” to regional favorites like “vato”, today’s slang is a colorful mix of historical influences, cultural shifts, and social media trends. You might find yourself scratching your head at some of the newer terms or wondering where these expressions come from. Don't worry—you’re not alone. Understanding today's most popular slang terms can help you keep up with the ever-changing conversation in our digital world.

Why Slang Matters

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation, hearing terms like "vato", "bet", or "lit", and wondered, "What does that even mean?" Well, you’re not alone. Slang info is an essential part of our everyday communication, from casual texts to social media posts. Whether you’re a teen texting your friends or an adult navigating a fast-paced digital world, slang keeps conversations fresh and fun.

But why does slang matter so much? Slang serves as a form of shorthand, allowing us to express emotions, attitudes, and cultural identity quickly and efficiently. It's a way of staying connected with others and feeling like you're part of a particular community or trend.

What is Slang? A Brief Overview

Slang refers to informal language used by particular groups, often reflecting shared experiences or social identities. While traditional language is structured and formal, slang breaks these rules for a more relaxed, personalized way of speaking. Slang terms are typically used in casual settings and can vary by region, age group, or subculture.

'As Above, So Below': More Than Just a Phrase

You might think "As Above, So Below" is a philosophical phrase that doesn’t belong in the same category as slang. But this ancient saying has morphed into a modern expression, often used in various online communities. The phrase originates from Hermeticism, a philosophical tradition that suggests the connection between the macrocosm (the universe) and the microcosm (the individual).

In today's world, people might use "As Above, So Below" to suggest that everything is interconnected, whether it's good or bad, large or small. In slang form, it’s a reminder that the forces at play in your life on a grand scale also reflect in your personal experiences.

Vato: A Word With Deep Roots

One of the most popular slang words in Latino culture is "vato". This term, which roughly translates to “guy” or “dude,” has been widely used in both English and Spanish-speaking communities. In fact, vato carries a sense of camaraderie and trust, often used to address friends or acquaintances in an informal and friendly manner.

But what’s interesting about "vato" is its historical roots in Mexican-American culture, particularly in Chicano communities. It’s not just a word for “guy”—it’s a word tied to identity, culture, and belonging. So when you hear someone say “What’s up, vato?”, it’s more than just casual lingo—it’s a way of acknowledging connection.

From 'Bet' to 'Cap': Popular Texting Slang

Texting slang has grown in popularity over the years. Shortening phrases and words to just a few letters makes conversations quicker and more efficient. Terms like "bet" and "cap" have emerged from this texting culture.

“Bet” is a term of agreement, similar to saying “okay” or “sure.” If someone suggests something and you say "bet", you’re showing that you're on board with the idea. It’s simple, but it conveys a lot of confidence in the conversation.

On the other hand, "cap" refers to a lie, with “no cap” meaning “no lie” or “I’m being serious.” It’s often used to clarify that what you’re saying is the truth, especially when discussing something unbelievable.

'No Cap': Truthful or Just Trying Too Hard?

The phrase "no cap" has gained significant traction, especially among younger generations. People use it to emphasize that they’re telling the truth, often when they want to show that something is serious or genuine. For example, “That movie was no cap amazing!” means the person genuinely thinks the movie was fantastic.

But here’s a twist—sometimes, "no cap" can sound a bit forced, like someone trying too hard to be cool. It’s a perfect example of how slang can be used to reinforce social status and keep up with trends.

Chill, Bruh: Slang for Relaxation

You’ve probably heard someone say "chill" or "chill out," but have you ever noticed how these terms have evolved? Today, "chill" is often used to mean something more than just relaxing—it’s about staying calm in any situation. It’s a way of saying, “Take it easy” or “Don’t stress.”

When you add “bruh” (a casual version of “bro” or “brother”), the phrase turns into a laid-back, fun way to tell someone to relax. “Chill, bruh, it’s all good” is just another way to say, “Relax, it’s not a big deal.”

Flex: Showing Off or Just Confidence?

In today’s slang, “flex” means to show off, especially in terms of your achievements, wealth, or style. It’s commonly used when someone posts a picture of their new car, fancy outfit, or perfect vacation. For example, “Stop flexing on us with your new shoes!” implies that someone is showing off in a way that’s hard to ignore.

While flexing can sometimes come across as boastful, it’s also about displaying confidence. It’s a way of saying, “Look what I’ve got!” without necessarily seeking approval. It’s self-assurance wrapped in a social media post.

Lit: A Word That Keeps Burning Bright

The word "lit" has been around for years, but it shows no sign of slowing down. Today, lit is used to describe something exciting, fun, or intense. “That party was lit” means the party was wild, unforgettable, and a great time.

The origins of lit come from the idea of something being on fire, representing excitement or energy. Just as a fire lights up the night, lit words bring energy into conversations.

Slang Across Cultures: Why It’s So Diverse

Slang is one of the most diverse forms of language. It can differ by age, location, culture, and even social media platform. What’s cool in New York might not be popular in California, and slang in the UK can be totally different from what you’d hear in Australia.

This diversity is what makes slang so interesting. It reflects the unique experiences and values of different communities. Whether you’re using “vato” in East LA or “bet” in New York, these terms help form connections between people who speak the same “language.”

The Role of Social Media in Shaping Slang

Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter are major players in shaping modern slang. Social media allows words to spread quickly and gain popularity in real-time. Whether it’s a viral video or a meme, these platforms often help slang terms become mainstream faster than ever before.

As a result, slang continues to evolve and spread globally, and we’re all part of that dynamic process.

The Danger of Overusing Slang

While slang can add fun and personality to our conversations, there’s a downside. Overusing slang, especially in the wrong context, can make you seem out of touch or forced. Using too much slang in professional or formal settings can also lead to misunderstandings.

It’s important to use slang appropriately and know when to switch between formal and casual language.

When Slang Goes Too Far

Sometimes slang can go beyond fun and start to feel exclusionary or inappropriate. Some terms might be offensive or disrespectful depending on the context. It’s always crucial to be mindful of the people around you and the setting in which you’re using slang.

How Slang Reflects the Times We Live In

Slang reflects our culture, our values, and the times we live in. Just like fashion trends, slang can tell you a lot about where society is heading. From the “no cap” honesty in conversations to the chill vibes of “chill, bruh,” slang mirrors our desire for connection, authenticity, and relaxation in an increasingly busy world.

Conclusion: Slang Isn’t Going Anywhere

From “vato” to “lit,” slang is a living, breathing part of our language. It adapts to our culture, our digital lives, and the way we communicate. While some slang terms may come and go, others are here to stay, shaping how we express ourselves in the 21st century. Whether you’re looking for slang info or just want to understand the next big thing, don’t be afraid to dive in and embrace the evolution of language.

[convertml]

People are bored out of their minds when taking surveys.

One person on Reddit said they watched Netflix when taking an academic survey. Another person said they chose to do the dishes halfway through a survey over a $10 gift coupon that was promised at the end. Pretty sure most of us feel that way?

As part of our efforts to understand this better, we interviewed a group of marketing experts and customers independently.

Here’s what the marketers told us:

Gap 1: Between the customers and marketers, primarily in marketers’ ability to persuade them to complete surveys.

Gap 2: Between the marketers and the survey data collected, there is a lack of a strategy for making the best use of it.

We’re here to bridge all the gaps, one after another.

Bridging gap 1: Converse. Don’t interrogate. Marketers often swear by surveys as a sure-shot way of understanding customer behavior. And they’re not wrong. Surveys are often good indicators of a customer’s choices and preferences, both at an individual and collective scale. For example, an analysis of an online bookstore’s survey data may reveal that customer A loves reading hard-boiled fiction, customer B likes crime fiction set during the 90s, and so on. It offers a microscopic view of the customer’s likes, dislikes, choices, and preferences. And when extrapolated, it may show a growing interest in crime fiction, a collective preference. In a similar manner, periodic surveys are a great way for marketers to look at the general shift in the trend and adapt to meet those. They’re also useful in gathering honest “plainspoken” feedback from customers. And this often signals what needs to change.

Let’s start with an example to understand this better:

“Your Choice” is a retail brand planning to invest resources into better understanding its customers. They plan to collect survey data over a period from customers across different segments. After careful consideration, they chose Typeform to design their surveys. Often chosen by marketers for its minimalist and aesthetic UI and AI-powered (and fully customizable) survey-maker tool, Typeform quickly became our go-to tool too. The data types collected from surveys are both quantitative and qualitative. Here are some examples for reference:

Customer Satisfaction Survey (Quantitative) There’s no better metric than a customer satisfaction survey to quantify customer sentiment and happiness. Combined with other sources of data, it can contribute to assessing and predicting customer churn! Here are some sample questions: How satisfied are you with your recent visit to Your Choice?

Choose an item.

Did our products meet your expectations?

⬜ Yes

⬜ No

What’s the one thing you love about our recent product releases?

⬜ Design

⬜ Quality

⬜ Variety

⬜ Price

⬜ Other (please specify)

Can you share any challenges or difficulties you’ve encountered while using our product?

⬜ Difficulty finding specific items or sizes in our physical or online store

⬜ Issues with the fit, sizing, or quality of clothing items

⬜ Limited availability of certain styles or collections.

⬜ Difficulties in exchanging or returning items.

⬜ Challenges in making payments either at the store or online

⬜ Impolite staff at the store

⬜ Other (please specify)

Net Promoter Score (NPS) Survey (Quantitative) NPS is a good metric to assess customer loyalty and how likely they are to recommend the product to others. Over a period, it is also an accurate indicator of customer churn. Some sample questions: On a scale of 0 to 10, how likely are you to recommend Your Choice to a friend or colleague?On a scale of 0 to 10, how likely are you to recommend Your Choice to a friend or colleague?

Would you consider Your Choice as your go-to store for fashion needs?

⬜ Yes

⬜ No

Demographic Survey (Qualitative) Collecting demographic-related data is helpful in understanding your customer base better. Combined with other data sources, it can help anticipate future buying behavior across different segments. Sample questions include:

What age group best represents you? 18–24

Tell us a little about your fashion preferences and style.

⬜ Casual

⬜ Formal

⬜ Bohemian

⬜ Vintage

⬜ Other (please specify)

Online Shopping Behavior Survey (Quantitative) This is vital to understanding a customer’s journey and how they engage with the brand. Combined with other data sources, they’re a major contributor to understanding customers on a personal level and tailoring marketing strategies for them. Some sample questions include:

Did you make any online purchases with us in the past month?

⬜ Yes

⬜ No

What features on our website do you find most helpful during your shopping?

⬜ Product recommendations

⬜ User reviews

⬜ Search functionality

⬜ Easy checkout process

⬜ Other (please specify)

Seasonal Fashion Trends Survey (Qualitative) Incorporated with other data sources, data related to seasonal trends (often collected periodically) can be a great aid when designing marketing campaigns or promotional events–by giving detailed insights into product selection, changes in peoples’ choices, and demand. Some questions include:

What upcoming fashion trends or styles are you most excited about for the next season?

⬜ Bold colors and patterns

⬜ Sustainable and eco-friendly fashion

⬜ Minimalist and timeless designs

⬜ Athleisure and activewear

⬜ Vintage and retro-inspired fashion

Post-Purchase Survey (Qualitative) When integrated with other sources, post-purchase survey data is vital in understanding “why” customers do what they do–especially in the context of churn, decreased or increased engagement, and purchase patterns.

Ideally, a good survey should also allow customers to provide additional feedback beyond what they have already answered in the survey.

Please share your feedback on the delivery experience for your recent purchase.

⬜ Satisfactory

⬜ Unsatisfactory

What was the best part of your last shopping experience with us?

⬜ Product Quality

⬜ Fast delivery

⬜ Customer support

⬜ Easy returns

⬜ Other (please specify)

Do you have any additional feedback that can help us improve?

And a last piece of advice before we move on to the next section: Design your surveys not to be bland questionnaires, but to be a medium of conversation with the customer.

Making the best use of survey data

The table is a gold mine. It combines survey data with other data sources, such as total purchases, total spending, and last purchase data, to provide a unified view. Note that this is only a sample, and any real-world dataset would have over a million rows and 100s of additional columns. Let’s look at two scenarios now, where we learn how best to make use of survey data.

Analyzing survey data in isolation As you must be already familiar with, conducting analysis on survey data in isolation can help you understand the customer sentiment in relation to the survey questions. Let’s say we’re analyzing the text box section. There are reviews, such as:

“I had a fantastic shopping experience! The staff was friendly, and I found everything I needed.”

“The quality of the products was okay. The product collection is meh.”

“The checkout process was quick and hassle-free. I’ll definitely shop here again.”

“Terrible service Staff is super rude too!”

Classifying this into positive, negative, and neutral can help the marketing team focus on customer pain points, improve aspects that fall under the neutral category, and continue to maintain areas that customers were impressed/satisfied with.

Going through the four comments, it’s clear that 50% of customers expressed positive sentiments, 25% expressed negative sentiments, and 25% had neutral sentiments. And over time, you would track the % change in people bucketed into each of these categories.

When analyzed in isolation, you can bet on:

Quicker insights and faster action

Identifying common issues

Understanding customer sentiment

What you’ll miss out on:

The context in which events occur

Predicting future customer behavior

Depth of customer insights

Combining survey data with other data sources: Correlation

Combining the survey data with other data sources is absolutely necessary for getting a more holistic view of customer behavior. The table above is a merge of survey data along with multiple other data sources. Only through a unified view can you correlate survey responses with factors like demographics, purchase history, or online shopping behavior. Let’s say, for example, customers with high satisfaction ratings usually spend more or that people in a particular age group AND neutral satisfactory ratings may spend less. These correlations are useful in making more informed decisions. But they’re nowhere close to getting you to predicting churn, let alone understanding it, or helping you move from personalization to hyper-personalization. What next, then?

Combining survey data with other data sources: Predictive modeling Only a tool with predictive modeling capabilities trained on historical and recent data (survey data + other quantitative and qualitative data) can anticipate future customer behavior! Taking the example of the table above, what we want to predict is whether a customer would churn. Multiple variables influence churn, of course. In large datasets, it becomes impossible to understand what factors might cause customers to leave. In such scenarios, a tool with predictive modeling capabilities can find patterns and connections that you didn’t even know existed! And these connections can help you learn “why” customers left. Now you have a list of customers who may churn, how likely they might churn, and the reason for churn. You have all the “drivers of churns”.

With the knowledge of factors that influence churn and the magnitude of their impact, you can re-visit your marketing strategies both at the customer level and overall. At the customer level, you can focus on having one-on-one interactions with at-risk customers to understand their concerns and provide swift resolutions. Overall, you can understand the most common issues that customers face and re-direct resources to resolve them. For instance, if the “un-friendly UI” is a common issue, you can focus on making the website more easy to navigate, accessible, and intuitive. Not only churn, but you can also get a list of high-value customers (those with the lowest churn scores) and focus on cross-selling or up-selling products to them.

From ticket management and marketing campaign optimization to product development, a tool with advanced analytics and predictive modeling capabilities can accelerate your marketing efforts multi-fold! We’ve addressed the gaps. Time for you, marketers, to wave your magic wand now!

CTA

Choose ConvertML and see your ROI grow 10X, all while staying GDPR and CCPA-compliant! Contact Us with us right away!

[anthony-toscano]

Maximize Your Character's Potential: A Must-Read Article about Buying D4 Items

Introduction

As a seasoned gamer, you know that the right gear can make all the difference in your gaming experience. That's why it's important to invest in high-quality items that can help you maximize your character's potential. In this article, we'll be discussing the benefits of buying D4 items and how they can help you take your gaming to the next level.

What are D4 Items?

D4 items are high-quality gear that can be used to enhance your character's abilities in the game. These items are designed to provide you with the best possible gaming experience by improving your character's stats and abilities. They can be purchased from a variety of sources, including online retailers and in-game vendors.

Why Buy D4 Items?

There are several reasons why you should consider buying D4 items for your character:

Improved Stats: D4 items are designed to provide your character with improved stats, such as increased damage, critical hit chance, and defense. This can help you take on tougher enemies and complete quests more easily.

Enhanced Abilities: D4 items can also enhance your character's abilities, such as increasing your movement speed or reducing the cooldown time on your spells. This can help you become more efficient in combat and complete tasks more quickly.

Better Gaming Experience: By investing in high-quality gear, you can enjoy a better overall gaming experience. D4 items can help you feel more powerful and confident in the game, which can make it more enjoyable to play.

Where to Buy D4 Items?

There are several places where you can buy D4 items:

Online Retailers: There are many online retailers that specialize in selling gaming gear, including D4 items. These retailers often offer a wide selection of items at competitive prices.

In-Game Vendors: Many games have in-game vendors that sell D4 items. These vendors can be found in various locations throughout the game world and often offer unique items that can't be found elsewhere.

Other Players: You can also buy D4 items from other players in the game. This can be a good option if you're looking for a specific item that's hard to find or if you want to negotiate a lower price.

How to Choose the Right D4 Items?

Choosing the right D4 items for your character can be a daunting task, but it's important to take the time to research and make informed decisions. Here are some tips to help you choose the right D4 items:

Consider Your Playstyle: Different D4 items are designed for different playstyles. For example, if you prefer to play as a tank, you may want to focus on items that increase your defense and health. If you prefer to play as a damage dealer, you may want to focus on items that increase your damage and critical hit chance.

Research the Stats: Before buying any D4 item, make sure to research its stats and how they will affect your character. Look for items that provide the most significant improvements to your character's abilities.

Set a Budget: D4 items can be expensive, so it's important to set a budget before you start shopping. Consider how much you're willing to spend and prioritize your purchases accordingly.

Conclusion

Investing in high-quality gear is essential if you want to maximize your character's potential in the game. D4 items are a great option for gamers who want to improve their stats, abilities, and overall gaming experience. By purchasing these items from reputable sources, you can ensure that you're getting the best possible gear for your character. So why wait? Start shopping for D4 items today and take your gaming to the next level!

References:

https://www.gamesradar.com/diablo-4-items/

https://www.pcgamer.com/diablo-4-items/

Article by: None Do you know the benefits of buy d4 items.

[safcodes]

Best Magento UX Practices For Stunning Magento Store

Being a customer right now is awesome. The competition is fierce, so stores work hard to impress customers and earn their support by offering superior goods and services. However, the situation becomes even more complicated for online stores. If companies want people to buy something, businesses need to do more than just offer a good selection of products and good customer service.

The success of a website depends crucially on the satisfaction of its visitors. Forrester found that an intuitive user interface can increase sales by 400 per cent. As a result, the value of a UX for online stores must be balanced.

Safcodes Company in Dubai has developed a thorough understanding of how to design an excellent user experience for Magento stores. In this piece, we'll go over some user experience best practices for online shops in general and Magento businesses in particular.

Provide Useful Content on Your Home Page: blk

Since it is the first thing people see, the design of your homepage may make or break your success at converting visitors into paying clients. The homepage frequently determines a user's decision to go further into a website. Their final choice is influenced by the sights and the information presented to them. If you want your users to have a good experience, you should make it easy to understand. The following sections of content should be included on your homepage:

A summary of your company.

Features of a Company's Brand and Visual Identity

Website search bar

Products that are currently popular or that are on sale

Essential internet pages and product groups linked to

Reviews and feedback from satisfied customers

Call-to-action buttons

References and social media account links

All of this will paint a clear image for your visitors of a) who you are and b) what they may expect to gain from you.

Maintain an Easy-to-Use and Intuitive Interface: blk

When it comes to e-commerce sites that offer a wide variety of products and categories, easy and intuitive navigation is even more crucial than usual. No one wants to deal with confusing and congested online shops when making online purchases. Customers are more likely to buy if they can quickly locate their desired items. To help you navigate more effectively, here are some suggestions:

Label your categories using abbreviations: bl

It will help your consumers find what they're looking for quickly and easily and keep the menu organized.

Create a menu page instead of a drop-down menu: bl

Customers may feel overwhelmed by a comprehensive drop-down menu if you give many options. We propose opting for a top menu with up to 7 selections on the homepage. Someone visiting should be taken to a menu page that displays all of the products on offer options within the given category when they click on an item in the top navigation.

Facilitate a swift search: bl

Site search optimization has a beneficial effect on visitor engagement, increasing both conversion rates and customer satisfaction. So, make it simple for clients to get what they need by embedding a search bar on every site page and using search autocomplete to suggest items as the user writes.

Make it possible to sort and filter results:

Customers can save time and energy by using filters to reduce their options before purchasing. Reevaluate your offerings and classify them into more manageable groups so customers can easily find what they want. The clothing industry, for instance, uses categories such as size, colour, occasion, brand, price range, discounts, and so on. When it comes to sorting, it's best to let clients arrange items in a method that works best for them. Examples include a wide range of prices and feedback from satisfied customers.

Reduce Customer Effort Across the Board: blk

Time is the most precious commodity in the modern, fast-paced world. To demonstrate your appreciation for your client's time, make as few demands as feasible of them while they're browsing your website. Check out the following tips that may help you:

Indicate suggested items: bl

Thanks to your presentation of similar products, customers will appreciate not having to go on a fruitless hunt for alternatives. A better user experience is guaranteed regardless of whether or not a sale is made.

Reduce clicks: bl

When browsing for leisure, skipping pages can be fun. Otherwise, fewer clicks improve UX and revenue. If the checkout process is complicated, customers won't buy. To simplify the checkout process in Magento, you might implement a one-page checkout.

Social media registration:

Every retailer wants as many leads as possible. Signing in isn't fun, especially if it requires filling out a dozen sections and answering questions like "What's the name of your first pet?" By letting visitors sign in with their social network accounts, you reduce a tedious process into a one-click transaction that takes seconds.

Maintain Media Quality:

Even though they seem insignificant, these nuances affect customer happiness and brand perception. You can provide top-notch items and service. Poor product page graphics and videos can hurt user experience irreparably. Do this:

Ensure that every picture you have is pixel-perfect by doing a double-check.

Substitute higher-quality photos for those of lower quality

Make your material stand out by including creative pictures and symbols.

Video marketing thrives because it is a fantastic tool for expanding your audience and improving customer satisfaction. New data shows that 81% of shoppers decided this year because of a brand video. You do it properly if you've decided to incorporate video into your website. Remember that quality counts, so only upload steady, entertaining, and informative videos to your channel.

Conclusion:

Online stores place a premium on providing a satisfying shopping experience for their customers. It's possible to spend years refining the UX design of a web store due to the sheer number of moving parts involved and the rapidity with which the market and technology are changing.

Since every company is different, many best approaches exist to create a seamless Magento user interface. In this article, we shared some methods we've found to deliver a first-rate Magento user experience to our customers effectively. We think you'll appreciate them, too. In Dubai, at our Safcodes company, we have Magento expertise engaged in a wide range of projects. Your online shop deserves the best UX design; we're here to give it.

[vishnoikumar]

Finding the Best Packers and Movers in Bannerghatta Road

Introduction

Finding the right packers and movers in Bannerghatta Road can be a daunting task. With so many companies in the area, it is hard to know which one is the right choice for your needs. It can be even more difficult if you are not familiar with the area and the services that each company provides. Fortunately, there are some tips and tricks that can help you find the best packers and movers in Bannerghatta Road. In this blog post, we will explore the key factors to consider when choosing a packers and movers service and provide some helpful advice on how to find the best packers and movers in Bannerghatta Road. We will also discuss the importance of choosing a reliable and trustworthy company and what to look for in order to make the right choice. By the end, you will have all the information you need to make an informed decision and get your belongings moved safely and quickly. 

Tips for Choosing the Best Packers and Movers in Bannerghatta Road 

When it comes to choosing the best packers and movers in Bannerghatta Road, there are certain tips which can help you make the right decision. It is important to keep in mind the following:

1. Research: Before committing to any particular company, it is important to conduct a thorough research. Look up the company’s reviews online and also check their references. It is also a good idea to ask for quotes from at least three different companies.

2. Reputation: It is important to choose a company which has a good reputation in the market. A company which has been in business for a long time and has a good track record is the best option. Also, it is important to ensure that the company is registered and has the necessary licenses in order to provide packing and moving services.

3. Insurance: It is important to check if the company provides insurance for the goods during transit. This will ensure that the goods are protected in case of any damage during the process.

4. Cost: It is important to compare the cost of services offered by different companies. This will help you get the best deal.

5. Safety: It is important to ensure that the company follows all the safety guidelines while handling and packing the goods.

6. Packing Materials: It is important to check if the company uses quality packing materials which will provide protection to the items.

7. Delivery: It is important to check if the company offers timely delivery of the items.

8. Customer Service: It is important to check if the company provides good customer service and is willing to answer any queries that you may have.

Following these tips will help you make the right decision when it comes to choosing the best packers and movers in Bannerghatta Road.

Aadhunik Packers and Movers in Bannerghatta Road

Aadhunik Packers and Movers in Bannerghatta Road is one of the leading and most reliable packers and movers in Bangalore. Established in the year 1990, Aadhunik Packers and Movers in Bannerghatta Road has gained a reputation for providing quality services to its customers. The company provides a wide range of services including house shifting, office shifting, car transportation, bike transportation, and other related services.

Aadhunik Packers and Movers in Bannerghatta Road is known for its excellent customer service and reliability. The company has a team of professional packers and movers who are well-trained and highly experienced in providing the best packing and moving services to its customers. They use the latest packing materials and techniques to ensure that all the goods are packed and delivered safely and securely. In addition, they also provide insurance cover for all the goods that are packed and transported.

Aadhunik Packers and Movers in Bannerghatta Road also offers a variety of customized services to its customers. They can tailor the services according to the customers' needs and requirements. The company also provides round the clock customer support to ensure that all their queries and concerns are addressed promptly.

Overall, Aadhunik Packers and Movers in Bannerghatta Road is one of the best and most reliable packers and movers in Bangalore. With their top-notch services and customer support, they have earned a strong customer base over the years.

The Top Packers and Movers in Bannerghatta Road 

Bannerghatta Road is a major road in the city of Bangalore in Karnataka, India. It is one of the busiest roads in the city and is an important link between the city center and the suburbs. There are many packers and movers located in and around Bannerghatta Road that offer relocation services to individuals, businesses and government offices.

The top packers and movers in Bannerghatta Road offer a range of services that include packing and unpacking, loading and unloading, transit insurance, storage facilities and customized relocation services. They use the latest technology and equipment to make sure that the goods are safely and securely moved from one place to another. Their experienced staff ensures that all the goods are properly packed and labeled so that there is no confusion or damage during the relocation process. 

The top packers and movers in Bannerghatta Road provide a wide range of services such as home shifting, office relocation, vehicle shifting, pet relocation, international relocation and many more. They also provide a range of specialized services such as piano moving, antique furniture moving and antique art moving. The packers and movers also have a team of experts who specialize in the packing and moving of fragile and delicate items. They also provide warehousing and storage services to customers who need to store their goods for a longer period of time. 

The top packers and movers in Bannerghatta Road are highly reliable and offer services at competitive prices. They are well-equipped to handle all kinds of relocation requirements and provide customer-oriented services. The packers and movers in Bannerghatta Road also provide 24-hour customer service to ensure that all queries and complaints are attended to promptly.

Conclusion

In conclusion, finding the best packers and movers in Bannerghatta Road can be a daunting task. However, with the right research and due diligence, you can ensure that your belongings are in safe hands and are taken care of efficiently. Consider factors such as cost, reputation, customer service, and the services offered before selecting a reliable service provider. With the right research, you can get the best services and ensure a hassle-free relocation.

[gsscore]

The Definitive Guide to Finding the Right UPSC Prelims Books

You may be preparing for your UPSC Prelims, and if so, you'll need the right books to help you pass. But with so many books on the market, it can be hard to know where to start.

Don't worry, we're here to help. In this guide, we'll give you an overview of the best books for each subject and tell you which ones are worth your time and money. We'll also share some key points on how to make the most of your reading time. So whether you're just starting out or you're looking for a refresher, read on for our conclusive guide to finding the right UPSC Prelims books.

What You Should Look for Before Buying UPSC Prelims Books

When you're searching for books to help you prepare for the UPSC prelims, there are a few things you need to keep in mind:

First, the books should be written by experts who have a good understanding of the UPSC syllabus. They should be able to help you focus on the right areas and give you a clear idea of what to expect in the exam.

Second, the books should be updated regularly with the latest changes in the syllabus. This is crucial, especially since the UPSC syllabus changes every year. You don't want to study outdated material when you're taking the exam.

Finally, the books should be easy to understand and follow. You shouldn't have to struggle to make heads or tails of them. The best books are clear and concise, with plenty of practice questions and answer explanations.

UPSC Prelims Books available on the Market

When it comes to picking the right UPSC prelims books, there are a few different types of books that are available.

The first type of book is the traditional coaching institute book. These books are usually very thick and full of content, and they are written by experienced coaches who have cracked the UPSC exam themselves. The second type of book is a recent innovation in the market, and these are called 'mock test series' books.

Mock test series books are written by subject experts who have years of experience in writing questions for UPSC exams. What these books do is provide you with a large number of questions (usually more than 1,000 questions) that have been strictly curated from previous UPSC papers. They also provide solutions to these questions, along with detailed explanations for why each answer is correct or incorrect.

Benefits of Using UPSC Prelims Books

When it comes to the UPSC prelims, books are your best friend.

Books have the advantage of being more in-depth and comprehensive than anything else you could use, like online resources or coaching. They also provide a wide range of questions and sample papers so that you can get a real sense of what the exam is like.

But with so many books on the market, it can be hard to know which ones to choose. Not to worry—we've got you covered. In this guide, we'll walk you through the best books for UPSC prelims and explain why they're worth your time and money.

Right Book for Your Subjects

Now that you have an understanding of the subjects for the UPSC Mains examination that you need to choose from, it's time to look for books to prepare from. It is important to note that every subject has its own set of reference books and it can get a bit confusing. You'll have to do some research and read reviews before settling on a particular book.

An important factor while deciding on books is their in-depth coverage. For history and culture, consider choosing books that discuss both the ancient and modern context. Make sure the book covers all aspects of the subject including facts, theories, analysis and implications. For politics consider getting a book with both Indian and international perspectives, so you can get a better understanding of global political structure.

For economics and law, make sure whatever book you choose has quick-review notes at the end of each chapter as well as solved question papers from previous years' exams. This way you can thoroughly revise concepts quickly and have ample practice for attempting questions in exams.

Strategies to Select the Best UPSC Mains Books

When deciphering through your choices for UPSC Mains books, there are a few strategies you can use to make sure you get the best ones. Start by assessing what strengths and weaknesses you have. This will help you narrow down the types of books that will best prepare you for the examination.

Next, look at the authors and publishers of each book. Choose books with authors that have a good reputation in the UPSC exam world, as well as publishers who’re experienced in publishing competitive examination material. If possible, read reviews from other test-takers on different forums to get an idea of how helpful each book is.

Finally, if there are several books on the same topic, pick two or three that cover different angles or aspects of the topic, so that you can get a comprehensive understanding of it all and not just one perspective.

Here are Some Books for the UPSC Prelims you Must Checkout Once

UPSC Prelims Study Material

UPSC Prelims Study Material is a comprehensive set of resources designed to help students prepare for the Civil Services Examinations conducted by the Union Public Service Commission (UPSC). The materials include mock tests, practice questions, and detailed explanations of the exam syllabus and topics. It also covers a range of other topics related to the Civil Services Examination, such as general knowledge, current affairs, history, geography, and public administration. Students can use the materials to familiarize themselves with the exam format, develop their knowledge base, and practice their problem-solving skills.

Indian Economy Notes For UPSC Prelims

Indian Economy Notes For UPSC Prelims covers the fundamentals of the Indian economy and its components. The notes provide an overview of the Indian economy, its structure, and its major sectors. It also explains the concepts of Gross Domestic Product (GDP), inflation, the balance of payments, and fiscal and monetary policy. It further discusses the economic reforms initiated by the government since 1991 and their impact on the Indian economy. The notes also explain the role of public sector undertakings, foreign direct investment, and the banking system in India. Additionally, the notes provide an analysis of the current economic situation of India and its prospects.

Indian Polity Notes For UPSC Prelims

Indian Polity Notes For UPSC Prelims provides an overview of the structure of the Indian government and its political system. It covers the basic concepts of the Indian Constitution, its salient features, and its amendments. It further examines the various institutions of the Indian government, including the executive, legislature, judiciary, and local self-governments. Additionally, the notes discuss the electoral system in India and its various aspects, such as constituencies, voting system, and political parties. Furthermore, it includes an analysis of the various laws and policies of the Indian government.

Economic Geography Notes For UPSC Prelims

Economic Geography Notes For UPSC Prelims provides an overview of the economic geography of India, its major sectors, and its resources. It explains the concept of economic geography and its importance in understanding the Indian economy. It further examines the structure of the Indian economy, its major sectors and industries, and the role of the government in its development. Additionally, the notes discuss the natural resources of India, the role of international trade, and the impact of foreign direct investment. Furthermore, it includes an analysis of the current economic situation of India and its prospects.

World Physical Geography Notes For UPSC Prelims

World Physical Geography Notes For UPSC Prelims provides an overview of the physical geography of the world, its major landforms, and its climate. It explains the concept of physical geography and its importance in understanding the world’s physical environment. It further examines the structure of the world’s landmasses, its major bodies of water, and the major climate zones. Additionally, the notes discuss the major landforms of the world, such as mountains, plateaus, and deserts. Furthermore, it includes an analysis of the current global climate situation and its prospects.

Modern History Notes for UPSC Prelims

Modern History Notes for UPSC Prelims provides an overview of the events that shaped the modern world, starting from the 18th century. The notes discuss the major political, economic, and social developments that occurred in Europe, Asia, and the Americas. It further examines the impact of the Industrial Revolution, imperialism, and the two world wars. Additionally, the notes discuss the rise of the nation-state, the emergence of new economic systems, and the development of ideologies such as communism, fascism, and liberalism. Furthermore, it includes an analysis of the current global political and economic situation and its prospects.

Art & Culture Notes for UPSC Prelims

Art & Culture Notes for UPSC Prelims provides an overview of the art and culture of India from ancient to modern times. The notes discuss the major art forms, religions, and languages of India. It further examines the impact of foreign invasions, colonial rule, and modernization on Indian art and culture. Additionally, the notes discuss the various literary traditions and literary movements in India. Furthermore, it includes an analysis of the current art and culture scene of India and its prospects.

These are the books which provide you with good knowledge about their own speciality you should check these books out for a better understanding and here is a complete list of books which you can take an eye to Complete UPSC Prelims Material.

Conclusion

In a nutshell, finding the right UPSC prelims books is critical for success. However, don't feel overwhelmed. Just take it one step at a time and you'll be on your way to acing the prelims.

Start by evaluating your current skills and knowledge base. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What do you need to study more? Once you have a good idea of what you need to focus on, start looking for books that address those topics.

Don't forget to take into account your budget and time constraints. There's no need to buy the most expensive or popular books on the market. There are plenty of affordable and accessible options available. And, if you're short on time, consider looking for books with shorter reading lists.

With the right preparation and the right books, you're on your way to passing the UPSC prelims!

[therealvinelle]

Ok I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm just now copying your Norwegian Bella AU into a text translator, and if you don't already have 50 people in your inbox demanding a translation then shame on ALL OF US because this is glorious! And while Google Translate does have a certain charm (it translated "piper hun ut" as "she beeps") I'm curious to see how you'd put it in English.

Troquantary is referring to this post. In which Bella doesn't speak English.

Fun fact, you're the only one who's gone into my inbox to request this. I was so sad, had the translation half-written and everything, but I was too proud to beg. So thank you, Troquantary, for popping this ask.

As for the dictionary fuckups, sounds about right. I made a few typos, too, that made Google Translate suffer even more. (Such as managing to mix up "henne" (her) and "hendene" (hands), resulting in Aro patting Bella instead of clapping his hands. Poor Google.)

Also, there are a few cultural references and language things that would be lost in the translation, in an attempt to keep them I included notes clarifying things.

Some things, like Aro and Carlisle's very old man way of speaking, are easier said than done to translate, you'll have to bear with me there.

Additional notes are that I added a few things to this version, many of them because translating is hard, but a few because while translating I thought "oh you know what would be much funnier-" and then wrote that.

Alright, without further ado:

When Renée left Charlie she did not go to Florida, she went to Oslo. And she went all in to make her daughter a true Norwegian, hiring Norwegian nannies and making sure never to speak English around the child. Since transatlantic flights are expensive, little Bella Swan rarely got to visit her father, and as such she never did learn what should have been her native language.

She quickly forgot what English she did have in favor of Norwegian, with the exception of words like “Yes”, “No”, and “I’m Bella”.

The few trips she took to visit her father were all the more awkward than in canon since she couldn’t play with the Black kids. Let not the blame fall upon Charlie: he took Norwegian classes and speaks conversational Norwegian. He can’t speak to Renée, because her Norwenglish is incomprehensible even to Norwegians, but he can communicate with Bella.

Not that he’s had a lot of chances to do so.

Bella makes it to seventeen years old, she’s in second grade at Handels* and is a major outsider among the preps there, and then Renée marries a handsome skier**. Together they shall travel the continent all winter to participate in as many skiing races as they can, and in the summer they’ll take gigs at Hurtigruta to see the coast.

*“Handels” is the nickname for an Oslo high school infamous for its pupils being rich and beautiful blonds who are going to be CEOs when they grow up.

**Skiing as a sport is huge in Norway

***Hurtigruta is a famous ferry that travels across the Norwegian West coast

Bella, who sucks at skiing and is too young to work at Hurtigruten, takes the hint.

With dread in her stomach and dictionary in hand she goes to her father in America.

Where she doesn’t speak the language.

Faen.

Charlie gives her a car, and I wish this meta was set in the present because I could have joked about electric cars and the automat only driver’s license*, but Twilight is set in 2005 so I can’t. The car part proceeds without drama.

*An increasing number of Norwegian youth take the driver’s license for automatic cars only, and we’re the country in the world with the highest percentage of electric car purchases.

School is worse than in canon, because she is now a thousand times more sensational than if she was merely the new student. She is from another country! All of Forks keels over with excitement.

To make matters even worse, our girl doesn’t understand a word of what people are saying.

She is too awkward to let them know she doesn’t know English. It’d become a thing, and they might think she’s dumb. To be fair, it’s not good that she’s been through primary, secondary, and now a year and a half of high school and still sucks at English.

So she nods, smiles, mumbles “Hi, I’m Bella” to the new faces, and blushes heavily when anybody says anything.

People assume she’s shy. That’s a bit boring, but oh well.

She has her biology class with the redhead hottie she noticed during lunch. She watched him and his family, they were fascinatingly pretty, but she doesn’t know anything more about them. Sure would have been great if she could have asked the tiny girl (was it Jess?) about them.

Biology proceeds as in canon - Edward badly wants to eat the delicious girl, but fortunately doesn’t.

She runs into him in the office when he tries to switch to another biology lesson, but she has no idea what he’s saying so she only has the suspicion that this somehow concerns her. Which is still uncomfortable, but Bella is probably the problem here. The hottie surely can’t be.

He’s missing from school for a week, Bella finds that weird.

He returns, and to her great horror he starts talking to her.

“Hello”, he says.

Bella dies inside. He’s too handsome!

"I'm Edward Cullen," he continues, and ok, she got that. The hottie is called Edward, that’s good to know. She���s not sure she caught that last name, though, Köln?

He says something else, it’s gibberish to Bella even though she’s concentrating, and at the end there he says “Bella Swan”.

She gulps.

"I'm Bella Swan," she confirms and nods. That should be correct. God, she hopes it’s correct.

He smiles a crooked, boyish smile. She’s awed. She didn’t think it was possible to be so beautiful.

He says something else.

Bella didn’t catch it.

She blushes even harder, she hasn’t been more embarrassed in her life. Here he is, the most handsome guy in all the world, and she has nothing to say to him. Literally, they don’t speak the same language.

She should tell him.

It’s one thing to chicken out of telling the town she doesn’t speak English, but there’s something different about Edward Cullen. He deserves the truth.

But...

He’s the most beautiful person she has seen in her life. He is American, too, so the odds of him knowing Norwegian are microscopical. If he finds out she doesn’t understand a word he says he’ll stop talking to her, and selfish as she is she doesn’t want that.

So with a slightly guilty conscience (but not enough to fess up) she contributes to the conversation with enough words and smiles to pull through. "Yes", "No", "Thank you", and "That's nice".

He is surprised by several of these answers, but instead of giving her odd looks and losing interest he grows more invested in the conversation.

Class ends.

The next day the near accident happens, and he saves her. She is stunned - dear god, did he just pick up a whole car? After teleporting across the parking lot..?

Soon she’s in the ER, and more than a little bit stressed about that fact since she knows the Americans have a terrible healthcare system.

She hopes Charlie has an insurance.

An insanely beautiful man walks into the ER, and Bella is shocked. He is just as handsome as Edward and Edward’s lunch friends!

He introduces himself as Carlisle Cullen, and Bella can only assume this is someone’s older brother. Possibly related to the blonde girl.

He smiles at her, says something, and she answers, "I'm Bella Swan."

He frowns.

That must have been the wrong answer, then.

His hands return to investigating her scalp, and to her great surprise he switches to perfect Norwegian, "kjenner De* noe ubehag når jeg holder her?" Do you feel any discomfort when I touch here?

*De is the Norwegian polite pronoun for “you”. Du = thou = the French tu, and De = you = the French vous. These polite pronouns went out of use in the 1980’s, save for when addressing royal persons, and would be considered antiquated in 2005.

He hurries to add, "Norsk lærte jeg i... fjor sommer. Det var et nettkurs." I learned Norwegian… last year. Online class.

"Hvilket da?" Which one? Bella asks, because Charlie needs to hear about this. The doctor has beautiful, if slightly outdated, pronunciation.

The doctor’s smile turns uncertain. She gets the feeling there’s something he doesn’t want to say. "Husker ikke," I don’t remember, sier han etter en litt vel lang pause.

That’s a shame. And weird.

"De hadde hellet med Dem i dag, som ikke ble truffet av den bilen." You were lucky today, not getting hit by that car. he then says, noticeably changing the subject.

"Det var ikke hell, det var Edward," It wasn’t luck, it was Edward, she replies sharply.

The doctor definitely looks uncomfortable.

She continues, "Han krysset skolegården på et blunk, og plukket opp hele bilen. Jeg så det," He crossed the schoolyard in a moment, and picked up the whole car. I saw it,

The doctor laughs. "Om han kunne det hadde nok gymkarakteren hans vært meget bedre. Nei, frøken Swan*, jeg beklager å si at det høres ut som at De er litt omtåket. Det er helt normalt ved hjernerystelse." If he could do that, his PE grade would be a lot better. No, Miss Swan, I’m sorry to say you seem confused. That’s normal with concussions.

*Addressing a young woman as “frøken” is even more outdated than using polite pronouns.

Why does Bella get the feeling he’s lying?

She’s discharged.

We’ll jump ahead to her trip to La Push - that trip uneventful, since Jacob knows she doesn’t speak English. They stick their hands in their pockets and stare at the sea.

The next day she’s shanghaied to Port Angeles, because apparently she said “Yes” at the wrong time when talking to Jessica (Turns out Jess’s name was Jessica!) and accidentally said yes to a day trip to Port Angeles.

Like in canon she wanders away from the others, and as in canon she is nearly gang raped. And again as in canon she is saved at the last moment by Edward.

He buys her dinner, and she can’t believe her own luck- and misfortune. A date with the most handsome guy on the planet (hence the luck) and she can’t say a word to him (hence the misfortune)!

He says things to her, lends her his jacket, and really this is it for Bella, she’s peaked, life can’t get better than this.

(That’s a lie, it would be better if she spoke English.)

He’s so amazing.

She’s gotten pretty good at navigating conversations with him, so she nods and aha’s her way through.

In his car on the way home the tone takes a more serious turn.

He asks her about something, and it’s a serious question, that much she’s gathered. She answers in the confirmative.

He is silent.

Did she say anything wrong?

(Edward, on his end, just asked if she knows what he is. She said yes, so calmly, not even a trace of fear in her.)

A few days later he takes her out on a walk in the woods.

He shows her a meadow in the woods, and when he steps into it he lights up in the sunlight.

Bella is in shock.

She knew there was something different about him, but- holy cow. This guy isn’t human.

Is she dating a god?

She stumbles into the clearing after him, and they spend a day together where he says things, and she can barely hear any of it (nevermind understand it) because she’s so distracted by how pretty he is.

The next day he takes her to a house in the middle of nowhere. She doesn’t want to guess that this can be where he lives. Surely gods don’t live in houses?

He shows her inside the house, and introduces her for Dr. Cullen and a lady with a name she doesn’t catch.

Bit weird that these two are acting like a couple of parents, they’re far too young and divine for that.

Edward shows her around in an old-fashioned office, and she doesn’t know what to make of i when she sees a painting of Carlisle. Edward launches into a long story when he sees her watching it, unfortunately she doesn’t catch any dates or artist names. At one point she heard the word “suicide”, though, and that’s not good.

She doesn’t get much out of the story.

The baseball game doesn’t happen because Bella didn’t pick up on what Edward wanted and didn’t realize she was being invited to a thing. They spend the afternoon watching a movie instead.

The relationship continues, impeded slightly by communication problems, but she’s mostly able to cover those up.

Until her birthday comes around.

She gets a papercut.

Jasper lunges at her. Edward throws her into a glass table, and then everyone is leaving.

Carlisle is kind enough to switch to Norwegian when he’s stitching up her arm, perhaps remembering the last time she was his patient. "Jasper har ikke vært på dietten vår så veldig lenge." Jasper hasn’t been on our diet for very long.

"Diett?"she asks. She’s never seen Edward eat anything. She wasn’t clear on what the Cullens ate, honestly she thought they were above such things. She was thinking maybe photosynthesis. The knowledge that they apparently eat food astounds her, but diets?

"Dyreblod istedenfor menneskeblod," Animal blood in stead of human blood, Carlisle clarifies.

Whachasay?

Carlisle gives a slight smile. “Jaspers liv som vampyr fikk en brutal start." Jasper’s life as a vampire got off to a brutal start.

...

Vampire?!

Bella’s missed something here.

Oh dear lord, oh fy faen, she has missed something.

“Åja”, uh huh, is all she can say, and suddenly she’s very aware of the fact that she’s sitting there with a bleeding arm.

And Carlisle.

Who is a vampire.

Over the course of the following conversation Bella makes a host of discoveries.

Edward has been a vampire this whole time, and he’s a telepathic vampire. Whether Bella should be a vampire too or not has been a matter of hot debate, but due to religious reasons Edward doesn’t want that.

Carlisle also brings up how Edward died of the Spanish flu.

"Jeg var under den oppfatning at Edward fortalte deg bakhistorien min?" I was under the impression Edward told you my back story? Carlisle asks at one point, and Bella just has to ask very nicely if he’d be so kind as to repeat it.

Turns out the guy is nearly four hundred years old.

Jaha.

Jahahaha jaa ha.

That’s… a lot.

She wanders out of the house in shock, and hardly notices Edward’s strange behavior over the next couple of days.

One day he picks her up at school, and takes her behind the house.

That works out.

He’s a vampire, but he never hurt her. He is endlessly beautiful, perhaps easier to love now that she knows he’s not a god. He’s her Edward, and that’s suddenly easier now that she knows.

They can still be together.

But now that she knows this about him, it’s about time he knows something about her as well.

It’s time to finally be honest with him.

So when he opens his mouth, she opens her mouth as well, but she doesn’t get any further than to “Edward-” before he launches into a monologue.

She’ll have to wait until he’s done before saying her piece. It’s a bit embarrassing, but it doesn’t seem like he intends to stop talking anyway.

And what he’s saying seems to be serious, so it’s probably best to let him finish.

Edward concludes his monologue by kissing her forehead. Then he disappears.

Where did he go?

A big unsure, Bella goes back to the house. She’ll just have to wait until he gets back.

She doesn’t know what to think when Charlie returns from work and tells her the Cullens have all left.

Oh, god.

Edward must have found out she doesn’t speak English.

She made a mockery of him.

He has every right to leave.

Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to live with.

Bella sinks into a depression.

The hallucinations begin, as in canon, though Hallusinward speaks Norwegian. Thank god for small mercies.

The friendship with Jacob (dictionary in hand) blooms, as someone has to help her see those hallucinations.

The cliff diving happens, and Alice shows up. Bella’s not sure what this is about, but she has gotten good enough at English to know that something bad happened, and Alice wants them to do something.

She’s a bit surprised to find herself on a plane to Italy, though.

Alice tells her to “Run to Edward” and ok, she got that, actually.

So she saves Edward.

After that she’s taken into the sewer, which turns out to house dozens of vampires.

Bella, Edward, and Alice are received in some kind of hall, where an unusual vampire has quite a bit to say. She understands some of what he’s saying, at least the part about “la tua cantante”. She knows a bit about Italian, see, so she knows that he’s talking about a song now.

She wishes she knew the context.

At one point he takes her hand, and appears fascinated by it. She wonders if he’s a palmreader. Not very vampirey, but what does she know.

He asks her a question.

"Yes," she says.

Saying yes has gotten her this far, after all.

But when he lights up and claps his hands together, and Edward and Alice stare at her in shock and betrayal, she knows she must have said the wrong thing.

The two are dismissed from the room before Bella can do or say anything, she’s just listening to Edward make a racket outside in the hallway.

Not good.

The unusual vampire brings her further down in his sewer palace to a basement, and she is given comfortable clothes to wear.

This is getting terrifying.

The vampire leans towards her - and she chickens out.

"Jeg snakker ikke engelsk!" she squeaks. "Non habla ingles!" I don’t speak English.

Han stanser, og ser forvirret ut. "Que- Hva behager*?" I beg your pardon? spør han etter et øyeblikk.

*A very formal, and slightly outdated (you can use it, but people will think you’re putting on airs. And they will be right) way of saying “excuse me?”

Sobbing, Bella tells him the whole story, from how she didn’t want to be the weird kid in school to how she’s now somehow in Italy without knowing why nor what she just agreed to.

When she’s done the vampire starts laughing.

"Dette forklarer jo en hel del," This explains quite a bit, ler han. "Men, kjære Bella, jeg er redd det ikke endrer noe." But, my dear Bella, I’m afraid it changes nothing.

He tells her that she has agreed to serve him and his army of undead warriors into eternity.

Well fuck.

"Du skal få slippe det, når du ikke visste hva du samtykket til - men skjebnen din forblir den samme. Loven er loven." You’re released from that promise, as you didn’t know what you agreed to - but your fate remains the same. The law is the law.

After a moment of silence, during which she looks terrified, he hurries to add, "Vi har en lov. Du må bli en av oss." We have a law. You must become one of us.

A law that Bella Swan has to become a vampire?

People are finally speaking Norwegian, and Bella is still lost. And it’s too embarrassing to keep pestering this poor, polite man with questions.

So she nods.

He gives her a glittering smile, and bites her.

When she wakes, Aro offers her an English course. A language course that, naturally, leads to her staying in Volterra. Why not learn a few more languages while we’re at it, dearest Bella?

Some time later Edward breaks into Volterra to save his Rapunzel, only to barely recognize her now that she’s a vampire who says things. Lots of things, she talks all the time now. WHAT DID ARO DO TO HER.

Too mortified to admit that she never spoke English, Bella claims she’s been brainwashed.

Aro is having too much fun to correct her, and the whole sad affair sets off a regrettable flood of rumors.

[jazzapples3]

So I saw a post by @bilbobagginsbrainrotblog with one of those iceberg things for lotr:

and I've decided I'm going to try and Explain the iceberg so here goes:

"Read the Hobbit as a kid": where it all began. Good children's book though.

"One does not simply walk into Mordor lol" classic Boromir meme from that infamous scene in Fellowship of the Ring, though the accompanying still is usually from the part where he is talking about the Great Eye.

"The Peter Jackson LOTR trilogy": how most people get into LOTR, and the most well known of adaptations.

LEVEL 2:

"Did you know that when Viggo kicked the helmet he broke his toe": the most quoted behind the scenes movie trilogy fact, commonly used tongue in cheek on r/lotr. During the scene in Two Towers where the three hunters find the piled pyre of Uruk corpses, Aragorn kicks a helmet and screams. He had actually broken his toe kicking the helmet and the scream was real.

"1977 the Hobbit animated": not actually Ralph Bakshi, it was a TV film by Rankin/Bass. Though more faithful an adaptation (the bar is quite low), it does come away with a higher dwarf death rate. I do remember it having an 'interesting' Gollum design.

"Knows how to say phrases in Elvish": look I know some stuff like 'mae govannen', 'hannon ie', 'ada', 'estel' etc, but languages in general are not my forte. If you hear enough elvish you are bound to pick something up.

"Read The Lord of the Rings books": if you read the Hobbit this is bound to happen at some point. Classic adult high fantasy, but no longer as easy reading as the Hobbit (though nowhere near the level of the Silmarillion).

"I think its in the Silmarillion": as mentioned above, Silm is not easy reading (it bears much resemblance to read epic poetry, which JRRT studied. As there are lots of references in LOTR to previous ages, it is fair to guess that they must be found in Silm somewhere, if not in the Appendices.

"Plays of has heard of LOTR online": an MMORPG by Daybreak Game Company, is generally viewed as good. I've never been into MMORPG's myself but have at least heard of it. As far as I know, its still running.

LEVEL 3:

"Has read the Silmarillion": ...am currently in the process, as it is by far one of JRRT's densest works, and his study of the epic cycles definitely shines through in the style. Recounts the making of the world, the War of the Silmarils in the First Age, and some of the Second Age. Is generally viewed as a hard read.

"How could they cut Tom Bombadil": Tom Bombadil was a character that appeared in the Fellowship of the Ring book, encountered by the hobbits in the Old Forest outside of Buckland. Of indeterminable age and origin, he contributed the fact that the Ring was effectiveless on a person with nothing to desire. Later, in the Council of Elrond, it was suggested to send the Ring to him, but that was quickly shot down. Most of his lines were given to Treebeard in the films, along with the part with Old Man Willow.

"Ralph Bakshi animated Lord of the Rings": a 1978 film quite endlessly screenshottable, and again shafts Glorfindel in favour of Legolas. Never actually finished telling the story, as it didn't cover the events of ROTK. I do believe that another film was made by a different company that covered the ending? Or am I creating false memories?

"Can translate all elvish used in the movies without subtitles": as previously mentioned I am horrible at languages but this is defintely possible as JRRT did not pull any punches in creating languages, and elvish (both forms) are able to be learned. Though, you can just do as I do, and just memorise the translation and look clever later.

"Holy shit Aragorn is 87": as a Dúnedain (Númenorian descent) Aragorn as a lifespan greater than that of other men (I think he ended up living to +200 years). At the start of the books, the timeline of events makes him 87, but he turns 88 on his birthday March 1st when he meets Gandalf the White in Fanghorn Forest (so the film is slightly off the mark here).

"Legolas only says three words to Frodo the whole trilogy": actually what he says in the films is 'and you have my bow' which is 5 words, but this is one of those 'Luke I am your father' situations where the quote is misremembered. Aside from that this is true.

"Stephen Colbert probably runs a Tolkien blog he could be any of us Oh God": the TV guy Stephen Colbert is very famously a Tolkien Nerd (tm) so this would not surprise me.

LEVEL 4:

"BBC audiodramatisations": a 26 part radio drama series produced by BBC 4. Fun fact: Ian Holm (plays Bilbo in the Peter Jackson films) is Frodo in this.

"Tom Bombadil was Tolkien's reader-insert": Tom Bombadil is a very mysterious character in Fellowship of the Ring, which much speculation as to who, or what he is, since Tolkien refused to elaborate. It's fun to see the very read scholarly arguments on Wikipedia, but it is stated that the character was inspired by one of JRRT's son's dolls. Perhaps this is what the iceberg is referring to? Please tell me if you know something more, I'm going insane.

"Vill you vear vigs? prank interview": Dominic Monaghan (who plays Merry Brandybuck) prank called Elijah Wood (Frodo Baggins) posing as a german 'interviewer' Hans Jensen, asking all sorts of off-the-wall questions, including the infamous 'vill you vear vigs?' This interview is freely available on Youtube.

"Is this Quenya or Sindarin?": Elvish as a language is split into two distinct forms: Quenya (the language of the High Elves, which is spoken by the Noldor and the elves in Valinor), and Sindarin (the language of the Wood Elves, spoken by the Sindar and presumably the Avari, those who lived in Middle Earth). They both use the Tengwar script of writing though. Sindarin is most commonly spoken, as in the First Age King Thingol of Doriath banned the speaking of Quenya.

"Has read Lost Tales and History of Middle Earth": The Book of Lost Tales and The History of Middle Earth is a collection of 12 volumes on legendarium lore spanning the history of Middle Earth and Arda. Like the Silmarillion, this was edited and published by Christopher Tolkien, though if you have read all 12 volumes of this, I have massive respect for you, since I've only managed to source two of the volumes for myself so far.

"Bro Elrond needs a break": damn Elrond has a backstory. Dad is absent, later becoming a star, his mum jumps off a balcony in the sack of Sirion and turns into a bird, not coming back, his murderous foster dads leave and don't come back, his wife is tormented by orcs and leaves to Valinor early without him, he leaves his kids behind in Middle Earth when he sails, one who he'll defintely never see again... damn.

"STRONG opinions on Feanor": on r/silmarillionmemes, there are two flairs for Feanor; 'Feanor did nothing wrong' and 'Feanor did everything wrong'. Dude was a pretentious prideful arsehole who kinda fucked up a lot, but he did have the balls to challenge Morgoth and call out the Valar, so opinions are up to you.

LEVEL 5:

"Can recite the Lay of Lúthien from heart": if you mean the Lay of Leithian, this is an unfinished poem published in the History of Middle Earth vol 3, detailing the story of Beren and Lúthien, also told in prose in the Silmarillion. If you want to try and memorise it, be my guest, though it is 4200+ verses.

"Can quote the entire trilogy from heart": a tall order but this can probably be done? Valar help the soul who tries it though.

"Favourite character is someone who is never seen of mentioned in the films": I'm sure the Silm fandom has your back. Maedhros deserved better.

"Sauron was once a hot guy": Sauron (or Mairon I guess) used to be super hot. After the fall of Númenor, where Sauron had basically orchestrated the entire fall, the Valar forbade him from ever taking a fair form again (or as I like to call it, revoked his sexy privaleges). Now he is not allowed to be super hot.

"Differentiates Finrod, Fingolfin, Fingon without issue": if he's blond, nice and friendly looking, and is maybe singing, its Finrod. If he's dark haired with braided in gold, maybe with a harp, or hanging out with Maedhros, its Fingon. If its neither, it Fingolfin.

"Has watched LOT but everytime Sam takes a step... 9hr long video": its an edit where everytime Sam takes a step he says 'its the farthest away from home I've ever been'. You can imagine why its so long.

"owns at least one replica sword or would if able": god I wish.

And there you have it! Am I making a video? Possibly not, but this explanation is here anyway. Hope you enjoy!

[anonquack]

| Chef Q |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot, Requested by: @anotherdreamsimp !!

Word Count: 3328

Warnings: Some curse words, mainly just some fluff !

Summary: Quackity hasn't been streaming recently, and decides to come back with a cooking stream. Featuring you as a special guest.

Lately, Quackity had been studying like crazy for his final exams. That meant no streaming. He'd take a break from it to focus entirely on his studies. Absolutely nothing else.

He claimed to have his priorities straight, and had the goal to pass all exams with high scores in order to keep his grades looking wonderful.

This also meant there was rarely any time spent between you two, beside the occasional snack breaks you forced him to take so he wouldn't die at his desk.

It was tough not being able to show him a random video you'd found on the timeline, or walking up to chat with him whenever you wanted, but you knew this was very important to him. So you gladly supported him and offered as much support as possible.

Thankfully, all of his studying paid off and he passed with flying colors. A teacher had even informed him that he'd received the top score for one of his final exams.

You were the first person to hear the news, and you couldn't help but feel the adoration coursing through your body at how excited he was to tell you. Jumping up and down and shaking you lightly as he told you about his scores.

You'd offered to take him out for a celebratory meal, to treat him for all his hard work and also since you missed the fun outings with him. There was no way he was saying no to that.

—

After a day out and about, you two had made your way back home. Both of you were pleasantly full, having enjoyed the meal and also dessert. His request, for "doing so well on his finals." How could you possibly deny him that?

You both were also very content, a warmth and comfort surrounding the air around you two the entirety of the outing.

One thing that was impossible not to notice was how he'd become exceptionally clingy as soon as you two were out of the car. Gripping onto your hand tightly as you singlehandedly unlocked the front door.

"I've missed you so much these past few days." He murmered as you finally got the door to open and pulled him inside.

"I've missed you too." You hummed softly. It was always nice hearing him say these things. You locked the front door, and gently pulled at his hand to lead him back to your room.

It didn't take much of a pull for him to willingly follow you. "Can we cuddle or something?" He asked softly, almost as if he was a bit embarrassed to ask. You turned to him and gave him a grin, along with a small nod.

You'd missed him, even if you two had been in the same apartment this whole time. You'd especially been missing cuddles with him, considering he studied pretty much all day. There wasn't enough time being shared together so you gladly agreed to some cuddling.

Sooner than later, you two found yourselves in your pajamas, laying in bed peacefully as you scrolled through tiktok, screen tilted in order for him to see as well. It really was so nice finally being able to be this close to him again.

After some time, you found yourself looking through tweets on the timeline. A certain one caught his attention and he asked you to stop scrolling.

It was a tweet from a fan, saying they missed Quackity since he hadn't streamed in two weeks, but that overall they hoped his tests were going fine.

"Has it really been 2 weeks?" He asked aloud as he clicked on it and looked through the replies, all agreeing with the original tweet.

"Mm.. two and a half, I think." You answered, looking at him curiously as a guilty expression appeared on his face.

"Hey." You called out once you saw the expression wasn't leaving. He turned to you with a small frown.

"It's fine. You had a good reason for being gone so long. I'm sure they understand. Plus, you'll be back soon, right?" You asked, to which he nodded before sitting up from the cuddling position you two were in.

You sat up as well, noticing how his eyes widened slightly, and a small smile made its way onto his face.

"I just got a great idea." He exclaimed. "Y'know, I was going to just spend the next few days with you since I missed you but– how about we stream something together? That way I can enjoy both, and the fans get a stream too."

You stared at him in surprise. The fans did know he was dating someone, but you rarely ever came out on streams, not because he didn't want you to but because you didn't deem it to be necessary.

The few times you had been on, you'd received tons of love and support from the chat, so you didn't think anything too bad would happen if you were to appear on his stream again.

"What did you have in mind?" You asked curiously. The other times you'd been on were him playing horror games and an extremely scuffed IRL stream.

"Well.. I haven't done a cooking stream in a while." He began, but you quickly shook your head.

"Oh no. Don't tell me you're going to make us eat some monstrosity‐ like your past cooking streams." You visibly shuddered at the thought. You remember having to help clean up the mess after. And no matter how funny it had been, the actual cleanup was awful.

"No no– I was thinking maybe we do a serious one, y'know? Chat hasn't really been able to see my cooking abilities, and well.. I'd say I am pretty good at it." He grinned. He was unfortunately right.

You relaxed at the mention of it being a 'serious' cooking stream. It could never really be too serious when it came to Quackity, but it meant not eating dog food or poorly made pizza. You were in.

"So we'll make an actual.. edible.. meal?" You questioned again, just to be sure. To which he nodded.

"Yeah, and we can enjoy that meal after. Like a date. What do you say?" He was beaming. It was his creativity rolling in. And he was probably so proud of himself for finding a way to spend time with you yet also give chat the stream content they'd been missing out on.

"Alright. I'm in."

You hadn't seen him this eager to get out of bed and head to the grocery store ever before. Chat was really in for a fun stream tomorrow.

—

He'd tweeted it out several hours before you two planned on starting the stream that he'd be streaming today with a special guest, and that he had his chef hat ready to go.

As you scrolled through Twitter you could see the timeline freaking out over 'COOKING STREAM' and 'SPECIAL GUEST'. Lots of discussion over who it was.

You couldn't help but feel a bit bad since the fans were probably speculating that he'd met up with his online friends, but in reality it was just you. In that case, you'd try your best to make this a fun stream, and your presence an enjoyable one.

As the time for the stream to start got closer, you helped him set the ingredients you'd be using onto the table, in a way where it was in perfect view for the stream to see and follow along if they wished.

"We're supposed to start in 5." You called out as he slipped his beanie on, fixing the few hair strands that were sticking out a bit too much.

He smiled and made his way over to you, cupping your face and giving you a small kiss. "I'm so excited to do some cooking with you. They're all going to love you."

You couldn't help the warm feeling that spread over your chest at his words. It was like introducing you all over again. He'd recently gained a lot of new followers, and that meant they probably had no idea who you were. Always fun going through that again.

He dealt with some last minute editing and placing, checking all ingredients were there and that everything was set, before hitting the 'Go Live' button.

It didn't take long for the viewers to increase after the tweet notification went out, and the starting soon screen was the only thing really protecting you two from the roaring chat.

Everyone was dying to know what was going on, who the special guest was, and whether this would be yet another scuffed cooking stream.

You stood behind the camera as the starting soon screen finally disappeared and he began greeting the viewers, thanking all the subs coming in, and eventually also giving them a little update on how he'd done on his exams.

You felt so proud as you watched him boast about how his studying had paid off, and how he talked about being the happiest he'd been in a while. He deserved all of it. And chat thought so too.

After some rambling about his test scores and what they'd be cooking today, chat finally became too impatient and asked for a reveal of the special guest.

"Fine. Fine. Since you guys are so fucking impatient." He huffed, watching as chat flew by, telling him to 'get on with it' and to 'TELL US WHO IT IS'. You couldn't help but laugh at the relationship he had with his chat. Always bullying each other but usually knowing when to stop and send love.

"I've actually had them on multiple other streams, not so much recently.. but they've been on my horror streams.. some IRL streams.. and they are really really special to me, chat!" He said with a big smile. Some of chat was confused as to who he was referring to, while older fans began to question if it was YOU. They were very smart.

"Some of the viewers might not know of them, so this is like I'm introducing them to chat all over again! Come over here." He finally directed the last part at you. You couldn't help but feel the sudden spike in anxiety, but chose to ignore it as you smiled back at him and headed into the frame beside him.

With a small wave and a greeting, you watched as chat completely broke. A mess of question marks and your name being spread in chat. You couldn't help but laugh. It was an overwhelmingly positive reaction as Quackity explained to new viewers that you were his partner, and that older fans were already aware of this for a while now.

The amount of 'y/n our beloved' and people asking if quackity's partner was single were abundant in chat, and you couldn't help but feel stupid for thinking the newer viewers would hate you or something.

Having the approval of Quackity's chat also made you feel lighter, it made it easier to let go and just enjoy the cooking stream.

You two began to explain what you'd be cooking to chat, and you made it very clear that he actually had to try and cook this time, to which chat agreed wholeheartedly.

He'd taken a recipe from his mom for one of his favorite meals, one he hadn't had in a while. He explained to chat that he wanted to see how well you and him could recreate it until you two took a trip to visit his family.

"Hopefully we don't disappoint her too much." You mumbled as he placed the chef hat onto your head, fixing it so you looked presentable.

"She can't be because we're actually gonna try." He stated before beginning to explain to chat what the meal was since many of them might not have even heard of it before. As he did that, you began to set aside the ingredients you wouldn't be needing until later.

After everything had been explained, it was time to get cooking. His concentration to try and recreate his mom's recipe was adorable, and chat agreed on that too.

This stream wasn't loud and messy like the others, but it was still enjoyable in its own way. Quackity was radiating such wonderful light and energy, cracking jokes and genuinely enjoying himself. It was all thanks to the stress and worries being lifted off his back. You really enjoyed seeing him like this.

Chat was able to follow along later if they wanted with how organized you guys were being, but the banter he had with you and chat made it entertaining to any casual viewer. He always found a way to make it fun.

Not only that, but chat was able to see a new side of him. The Chef Q side. More often than not, a message would roll in saying they were amazed by how good Quackity actually was at cooking. You could already imagine some of the edits that'd come out of the stream.

His mom had told you two beforehand how long it would normally take to cook this meal, and it was perfect for a usual stream and some extras where you two would actually get to try the food.

There was moments where chat was warning you two that the food would burn or that he'd accidentally set the kitchen on fire, but overall you were enjoying yourself so much.

And chat was enjoying your presence too!

By the time you two managed to finish the meal, you both plopped down onto the chairs he'd set for the supposed 'breaks'.

He had some of the sauce on his cheek and his apron, but still managed to look good. He'd also smeared sauce onto your cheek, and at this point some strands were sticking out of your hat in such a messy way since the last few minutes had been rather hectic, food almost burning and all.

"Chat. We did it." He called out before cheering loudly and clapping his hands, to which you swiftly followed along, chat beginning to cheer as well.

"I think its only right that we try what we made, don't you think?" You ask, to which chat quickly types YES in all caps, wanting to see the finished product and also find out if it even tastes good.

Quackity let out a chuckle as he smiled over at you. "Not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous. We haven't even seen it so it might just be black. Burnt to a crisp. Or what if it tastes like shit? Y/N i don't know what I'm going to do if the food tastes like shit. Thats what we're supposed to eat on our date." He whined a bit.

You shook your head, "It'll be great. And if not, we can just order takeout. It'll be fine big q." You smiled reassuringly. Chat became a frenzy of calling him cute for the state he was in, declaring their love for how supportive and kind you were, and melting over your relationship.

Before you knew it, you were both revealing the meal to chat, and pleasantly surprised by the results. The presentation of the meal itself looked really good. It looked like what you'd expect from such a plate. Quackity had even gone as far as saying it looked similar to how his mom made it.

You gasped, smiling in surprise at him. "Really? Did we really do that good of a job." His face turned into one of regret, and a long segment of silence engulfed you two before he nodded hesitantly. You both broke out into a fit of laughter.

"Okay okay, seriously. Chat's waiting for you to try it." You placed a fork in front of him, earning a loud scoff from him.

"They want to see you try it as well." He mirrored your actions and you gladly took the fork.

"Alright. First bite. Let's see if all our hard work paid off! Chat, are you ready?" You grinned and watched as the 'YES's started rolling in, some viewers telling you both to get the fuck on with it, and others gushing about how the food actually looked good. You could only hope.

You watched as he began to dig in, mouth full and chewing slowly, truly trying to savor the first bite. You did the same, and the stream was silent for the first time in a while. Chat was in suspense as well, question marks and incoherent rambling rolling through the chat.

"Chat..." he finally spoke after swallowing his bite. "Chat. It's." He paused before showing a small smile. "It's not bad at all. I like it. It's good."

You nodded your head in agreement, "It's nowhere near as good as the ones your mom makes.. but I think you and I make a pretty good team."

"I think so too. And not just for cooking." He grinned, earning himself a playful eye roll and shy smile from you.

The stream proceeded to you two feeding each other bites of the meal, asking each other if it was good, and just enjoying yourselves for a bit longer before Quackity deemed it was time to end.

"Chat !! Thank you so much for tuning in and watching this.. actually coordinated cooking stream. I had so much fun and well, I ate yummy food. I'm happy." He laughed, thanking a few more gifters before doing his signature Bye, and ending stream.

He hurried over to your side, pulling you into a hug. "Thank you so much. I truly had fun. And they definitely loved you, but not nearly as much as I do."

You chuckled at his words, giving him a small kiss before cupping his face. "I had a lot of fun too. Thank you for always being so nice to me." You paused, observing how cute he looked with his chef hat still on. "I think I like Chef Alex." You reached over and fixed his hat a bit.

"Yeah? Should I keep it on?" He teased, coming a bit closer. You couldn't help the warmth that spread over your cheeks at how blunt he was.

"Yes, but you need to help me clean this up. Maybe after we finish the food, hm? C'mon. Don't think I forgot our deal."

He whined, already feeling too lazy, but he quickly followed after you as you two sat down to actually eat. Still wearing the silly attire he'd bought for the stream, far too unbothered to change just yet.

Through a mouthful he asked, "Cuddles and a nap after we're done?"

You smiled and nodded, to which he gave a silent cheer. That was enough motivation to get you both up and cleaning after finishing the meal.

—

Wrapped in each other's arms again. He couldn't seem to get enough of it. You were once again scrolling through Twitter, this time scrolling through his indirects, wanting to see what people were saying about the stream.

He'd ask you to stop to read certain ones he found funny, and even 'aww'd at the ones he found cute, mainly those talking about how cute you two looked.

Surely enough, there was already edits using the clips of him cooking, and you'd openly admitted to him that he looked "so fucking good." To which he responded by cuddling closer, if even humanly possible.

Quackity found the numerous clips of you two feeding each other to be the best part of the tweets. You two rewatched, saved, liked as many as you could before he became tired.

And with that, he was pulling you close, and leaving small kisses anywhere he could on your face. Eventually, his chest slowly rose and fell as he entered a deep slumber. You smiled, glad to see he was finally getting the rest he deserved.

"Goodnight, Alex." You whispered, leaving a small kiss on his cheek before closing your eyes as well.

[bestiesenpai]

Inamorata - Sukuna

You have no idea how much I like this idea lol ya know the meme ‘i got a boyfriend, yeah he kills people he’s crazy’ this is exactly what went through my head with this. Femme reader, I went for a...Sukuna is his own person and not attached to Itadori kind of thing? Like just a stand-alone demon. I had probably way too much fun writing this and would be down to write more for this concept

Content warnings: killing/murder/homicide choose your preferred noun, a little yandere?, size difference and Sukuna is in his four armed form, uhmm there’s a knife(main use to cut open readers palm in the beginning) and also licking blood from said wound, violence/gore at the end

Apparently there was a demon on the loose. From what you’d read on online forums and heard through the whispers of older people on the train, there was a foreboding presence terrorizing the city, preying on the weak and helpless and hoping to take over the world.

There were blurry photos and horrible sketches of what the creature supposedly looked like and the form it took, but none of them seemed to match up. The tattoos on the face and body were always off, the amount of muscle and the stature of the creature were all different depending on who you went to.

Which is why you decided, against all better judgement, to go looking for him. All the stories you’d heard about the demon, the kind of creature it was centuries ago in its prime, had intrigued you. With the mystique and terror surrounding this demon, you’d be a fool not to try and get a peek for yourself.

At first you’d tried a summoning circle, clearing a large space in your bedroom and drawing intricate patterns on the floor in hopes of his arrival. That method quickly turned futile as no demon ever came - but now you probably had a few ghosts watching you sleep at night.

The second method was to try and make a pact with the devil himself, slicing open your palm and dripping blood onto the pages of old scriptures. Attempting to sell your soul had worked even less than the first method and all you had to show for it was a bandage around your hand for two weeks.

“I’ll definitely see him now.” You mumbled to yourself, walking straight to where the demon was seen most: the red light district. Walking past bright neon signs and nearly naked women in shop windows, you took a peek into every alleyway you came across.

“Hey pretty lady, what’re you looking for?” A rough, scratchy voice sounded behind you as you walked past the umpteenth alleyway of the night.

“What do you think?” Not looking over your shoulder, you kept walking. The voice, while sounding absolutely disgusting, didn’t belong to a demon and therefore not worth your time.

“I think you’re looking for trouble.” Curling his fingers around your arm, the man you were trying to ignore snatched you back, making you stumble and fall into his chest. The nasty scent of body odor and cigarettes was wafting off the man, making you worry that his stench would cling to you for days.

“Not the kind you’re talking about.” Pushing away from him, you furiously wiped off your clothes. Looking this man in the face irritated you, he was wasting his time and you knew exactly what his intentions were.

“Don’t play so hard to get!” Forcing a less than charming smile on his face, the man made the move to grab you again.

“Don’t touch me!” Slapping his hands away, you took generous steps back from him. “You’re getting in the way of my search.”

“Search?” Quirking a brow at you, the man took a moment to think before his brows rose in surprise. “You’re looking for Sukuna, aren’t you?”

“That’s his name?” You’d never heard his name before, only seeing some people refer to him as a four armed creature from hell.

“Yup, and I’ve seen him a couple times.” Crossing his arms over his chest, the man smirked triumphantly. “You could say he and I have a kind of friendly relationship.”

“Do you now?” Your eyes trailed up from the man to the dark alleyway behind him where two glowing red eyes emerged.

“Oh yeah, Sukuna��s a great guy! Even offered to give me a position in his little army.” The more he spoke the brighter the eyes got and the fuzzy outline of a gigantic body was starting to take shape.

“His little army?” Slowly taking steps back as the figure came forward, you barely had time to react before the man was snatched up by two giant hands and yanked backwards. Lifting him into the air, it wasn’t long before a mouth with gleaming sharp teeth opened up and swallowed him whole.

As the eyes drew their attention back to you, a nervous laugh left your chest that you couldn’t force to stop. Every step you took back was now accompanied by a step forward from the creature until it fully left the alleyway and you saw exactly what you were dealing with.

Right in front of you, in full form and glory, was the demon you’d been searching for. The scrawling black tattoos along his entire body, the four arms, pink hair, second set of eyes and his impossibly muscular physique - all of it was exactly like you’d been hoping for.

“Hello, pretty little thing.” His voice boomed despite being relatively quiet, a slight echo to the deep timbre. It was almost melodic in a way, somehow soothing your racing heart just slightly.

“S-sukuna?” You squeaked out, back meeting the brick wall of a building.

“That would be me.” Chuckling as he stopped a few feet from you, Sukuna crossed his secondary arms and looked down upon you. The sheer height and width of his body easily dwarfed yours, your head only barely reaching his ribcage.

Your eyes couldn’t stay in one place as you looked at Sukuna. There was too much to take in and you could feel yourself quickly becoming overwhelmed trying to commit every detail to memory.

“You’re…” Licking your lips nervously, you could only meet his eyes for a moment before settling on the mark on his forehead. “You’re wearing womens clothes.” Tied around his waist and hanging off his legs was indeed a womens kimono, a surprising pristine white shade.

“That’s what you decide to say at our first meeting?” An echoing laugh bellowed from him and Sukuna shook his head, running one hand through his hair.

“I-I’m sorry it’s just...they never mentioned it online.” It felt a little silly to be explaining yourself to him when at any moment Sukuna could eat you like he did that man and you would have no way of stopping him.

“Little thing, I have a question for you.” Fixing you with a suddenly sharp stare, Sukuna lowered his brow and bent down, placing two arms above your head and two at your side, trapping you in against the wall with no possible outs.

“Yes?” Pinching your eyes closed, you held your breath as you waited for the inevitable bite of his teeth around.

“Are you scared?” Sukuna whispered, his breath fanning out over the top of your head.

“Yes.” It would be a lie to say no and you had nothing to lose by telling the truth. Sukuna’s eyes bore into you, the weight of his stare physically making your back bow.

“What did you think of me eating that man just now? Was that terrifying for you?”

“No.” Sukuna took a pause at your answer and although you couldn’t see it, his brow furrowed for a fraction of a second.

“What did you feel then? Surely you must have thought it was horrible.”

“N-not really.” Slowly cracking one eye open, you looked up at Sukuna, almost breaking your neck from having to stare directly above you. “I was actually quite happy you did that. He was getting on my nerves.”

The barking laugh that left Sukuna’s mouth made you flinch and throw your hands in the air. It was so loud it seemed to vibrate your entire body and a few windows on the building behind you shook from the force.

“You’re telling me you liked me killing that guy?” Grabbing you by the collar of your shirt, Sukuna held you up in the air, eye level to him. You nodded, pitifully kicking your legs out to try and get back to solid ground. “Aren’t you a messed up little thing?” Still laughing, Sukuna took a proper once over of your body. “Pretty, but messed up.”

“P-please let me go!” You whimpered, hands desperately clutching Sukuna’s to try and not fall out of your clothes and onto the ground.

“What’s wrong? Don’t like how I hold you?” Shaking you for good effect, Sukuna smirked wildly at your scared little squeaks. “Tell me your name.”

“It’s (Y/N)!” Shouting into the air, you felt relief flood into you as Sukuna finally lowered you back to the ground and his hands released you.

“(Y/N)?” Sounding it out on his tongue, Sukuna shrugged to himself. “I like ‘little thing’ better.”

“I’m only little compared to you.” Fixing your clothes, you tried to regain your breath and stop your body from shaking so violently.

“So, what’s a creature like you doing out so late at night here? It’s not safe for a human like you to roam around these parts.”

“I was looking for you.”

“Me? You were looking for me?” Sukuna snorted, waving his hand dismissively at you. “A human like you looking for me? I’ve really seen it all.”

“It’s true!” Pulling out your phone, you quickly showed him all the data you’d compiled on him. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, Sukuna! I did a summoning circle, I’ve looked in hundreds of online forums - I even tried to make a deal with the devil!” Showing him the mark that was still healing on your palm, the fear that was in your body was slowly trickling out and being replaced with- hope? Excitement? It was hard to say, but as Sukuna grasped your hand between two fingers and looked at your palm, it would be wrong to say it was a negative emotion you felt.

“You really did all that for me?” His voice was much softer now but it still sounded like he was mocking you. Smoothing the pad of one finger across your palm, he felt the ridges of your palm and the wound.

“I did. I find you really fascinating and I- I just wanted to learn more about you.” You faltered when he looked at you, a fierce heat overtaking your cheeks at admitting out loud that you’d been looking for a demon because you found him interesting.

“Are you perhaps interested in me?” A smirk tugged one side of Sukuna’s lip up and he chuckled when your expression only grew more flustered. “Oh little thing, you’re more messed up than I thought.”

“Will you tell me more about yourself? Please?” The words tumbled out of your mouth desperately as you let Sukuna stretch out your arm and grasp your hand more firmly. He didn’t answer you or even acknowledge that you’d spoken, instead grazing the tip of one long sharp nail along the line of the cut.

“I find myself liking you more and more, why is that?” Sukuna’s tone sounded like he was addressing himself as he spoke aloud, turning your hand every which way as he kept scraping his nail against your palm. “Were you my lover in the past, back when I reigned as the ruler of this whole land?”

Racking your brain to try and remember any information on Sukuna potentially having a lover, you were ripped back to reality when Sukuna dug his nail into your skin, reopening the cut and making blood flow freely.

“Ow!” You couldn’t yank your arm out of his grasp and you watched in mild horror as Sukuna lowered himself to your hand, letting his tongue hang out of his mouth and drag across your skin. His tongue quickly became coated in dark red blood, his saliva starting to mingle with your blood.

“You taste so familiar, you must have been mine.” Lapping up your blood now, Sukuna didn’t stop until he could tell you were starting to get weak from blood loss. The lower half of his face was now covered in red, smeared across his skin like paint.

“Sukuna, that’s gross.” The mumble slipped from your delirious mind, making him laugh as he waved a hand over the cut and made it go away. Slipping your hand from his grasp it was like there had never been a mark there in the first place.

“A human telling me what’s gross?” Licking his face clean, Sukuna grinned down at you. The longer he looked at you the longer memories of a past you returned to his mind. The irresistible draw he felt to come to you tonight had been the same one that called to him centuries ago, making you the center of his otherwise cruel and empty world.

Placing two hands on the wall behind you, Sukuna leaned over you once more, this time grasping your chin and turning your face up to him. The saliva that had mixed with your blood had also given you new memories of the past as well, and as you looked at Sukuna you remembered all the things the two of you had done together.

“So, my pet, what shall we do first?”

Sukuna ended up carrying you home, having you tucked inside his kimono as he leaped on rooftops across the city. Opening your bedroom window, Sukuna shoved his body through, having to make himself slightly smaller to fit inside the house.

“Are you uh, hungry?” Standing awkwardly in the middle of your bedroom as Sukuna sat on your bed, you weren’t quite sure what to do now.

“I could eat.” Laying fully back on your bed, it creaked and groaned as Sukuna rested his weight on it. The thought of offering to take him to the kitchen came and went quickly in your head; just getting him into your room was a hard enough task.

Fixing him and yourself a quick meal, as soon as you were done eating Sukuna picked you up and rested you on his abdomen. Even after shrinking himself down your legs were still stretched as wide as possible in hopes of wrapping around his waist.

“As the memories of you return, I realize how much I’ve missed you, my pretty little thing.” Petting down your back, Sukuna looked at you fondly. Propped up on two of his arms, he could stare directly at your tiny body sitting atop him.

“What kind of memories do you have?” So far, the only thing you could seem to recall were memories of a more sexual nature. One’s of you and Sukuna wrapped up in each other's arms, both of his cocks stuffed inside you as you begged to cum.

“I remember giving you the world, whatever you wanted was yours for the taking.” The look in Sukunas eyes was surprisingly soft and you could feel the love coming out from him.

“Whatever I wanted?” Repeating the words, your mouth hung open slightly at all the possible things you could get.

“The world may exist to serve me, but I exist to serve you.” Fully sitting up, Sukuna held you against him as he leaned down, lips grazing your forehead. “What do you want, (Y/N)? I can get you anything in the world, I can do anything in the world.”

“Kill for me.” The whisper that left your lips was almost too quiet for even yourself to hear. But Sukuna nodded, having heard you perfectly. Your words made his body thrum with excitement and his nerves were on edge.

“Kill for you?” He repeated, kissing you on the forehead. The fingers that held you closely dug into your sides and if Sukuna wasn’t careful he could crush you completely.

“You love me, don’t you?” There was just the slightest hint of worry in your voice. What if you were overestimating your power over Sukuna? He could say no or even kill you himself.

“You have no idea what the things my love for you will do.”

Although it pained him to do so, Sukuna left you once the sun began to rise. He had other things to attend to, temples that worshipped him as a god to visit. Promising to see you once dusk began to settle over the sky, Sukuna leapt from your window and into the horizon.

“You came back.” Even though he swore up and down he’d come back, it still shocked you to see him back on your bed once it hit a certain time of night.

“Of course I did.” Sukuna almost seemed hurt you would question him. Holding out a hand, as soon as you grasped one of his fingers he pulled you to him and nestled your body into his side. “Did you do what I asked?”

“The list is in my pocket.” Before leaving, Sukuna had told you to make a list of all the people you wanted him to kill for you. The list had started out short, just a few people that had hurt you that you couldn’t let go of, and then it grew to others, politicians and corrupt people in the media.

“Quite impressive, little thing.” Reading over the list, Sukuna stood up. “Shall we go then?”

“Go whe-” As Sukuna threw open your bedroom window you were met with a strong gust of wind. “Sukuna, where are we going?” You asked him over the wind in your ears. Putting his upper arms into the sleeves of his kimono, he made sure you were nestled safely inside.

“We’re going to take care of the first person on your list.” Wrapping an arm around you, Sukuna jumped out of the window. Though this wasn’t your first time in this position, you hadn’t been fully cognizant when Sukuna took you home last night. Now, with a head clear and no lack of blood to distract you, you could see the lights of the city clearly as they whipped past you.

“It’s beautiful.” Carefully leaning forward, you gazed at the downtown area with all the flashing lights and swerving cars.

“If you say so.” Patting your hip, Sukuna pulled you back, resting your weight fully on his arm and clothes. He wouldn’t admit it, and despite knowing he would catch you in a millisecond, Sukuna didn’t want you to fall out and fall to the ground.

Coming upon the first persons house, he settled you on the ground outside. You were in a tightly knit residential area standing directly under a streetlight, with rows of houses that all looked similar. In a flash, Sukuna had broken into the house and grabbed the person you were after.

“This them?” With a tight grip on their ankle, Sukuna shook them side to side.

“Mhmm.” You didn’t need to look to know he’d gotten the right person, just the feeling you had around them was enough to confirm it.

“W-what’s going on here?!” They screamed, blood pooling in their head the longer they hung upside down.

“Don’t speak.” Sukuna barked, shaking them once again. “You don’t speak to her, or at all.” The person screamed again, a high pitched sound that quickly got shut off as Sukuna swung their body and smacked them against the ground. “I thought I told you to be quiet.”

For a moment you thought they’d died from how hard Sukuna hit them against the ground, but a small whimper and breathless gasps sounded from where their face was crushed against the pavement.

“Do you know why I’m here?” You whispered, standing over their motionless body. Rolling over onto their back, they shook their head and started to stammer. “If you can’t answer my question I don’t want you to make a sound.” Pressing your foot onto their throat, you flinched when their hands came up to try and claw you away.

“Don’t touch her.” Instantly pinning their arms down, Sukuna glowered. “How would you like me to do it?”

“Let me think.” Staring down into their glassy eyes, a million options went through your mind. Sukuna’s power was limitless, there was nothing he couldn’t do. If you asked him to throw their body into outer space, he would do it in a heartbeat. “Rip them limb from limb. You can eat them if you’d like.”

“As you wish.” A sick grin curled Sukuna’s lip and he drug their body across the ground until they were directly underneath him.

“(Y/N) wait! W-wait please!” Their shrill cries fell on deaf ears, and the sound of the first limb being torn off their body was something you could get used to. “Oh- oh my god, my leg!”

“God I wish you’d shut up.” You kept your eyes on the person's face, refusing to look at where blood squirted generously from their now missing extremity.

“Allow me.” With the swipe of one claw Sukuna gouged out their throat. Hot, bright red blood spilled out onto the pavement, pooling and almost making it to where you stood. Throwing one leg into his mouth, Sukuna used a non-bloody hand to lift you up and place you onto a brick wall.

“Thank you.” Giving him a gentle smile, you now had a front row seat to Sukuna ripping apart this person's body and slowly devouring them. There was a mess of blood coating Sukuna’s skin, far more blood than when he had drunk yours.

As you watched Sukuna eat this person, a sense of satisfaction washed over you. It felt good to get justice in your own way for how this person wronged you. After being told to let it go, try and move and let time heal the wound, you could finally get closure the way you wanted.

“All done?” You asked once the last piece of their body was consumed. Standing up to his full height, Sukuna still looked down at you. The blood on his skin began to sizzle off, evaporating into the air and leaving the pungent smile of iron behind.

“Have I made you happy?” He responded, cupping your face and lightly squishing your cheeks. Smiling proudly, a warm flush washed over your face the longer you and Sukuna looked at each other.

“Yes, very.” Nuzzling into his palm and kissing it, you let out a breathless laugh as Sukuna did the same.

“I’m happy to please you.” Kissing you on the top of the head, Sukuna pulled out the list and crossed out the first name. “Shall we go to the others now?”

[stickyy]

I loved what you wrote about student! college! aizawa,if it's not too much trouble,I would like to read a second part but it contains a sub!aizawa,dom!reader,mommy kink and pegging please. I have to take advantage of the fact that you are the first blog with dark content that I see that accepts pegging,an opportunity that I will not miss,but if it gets complicated for you oh you don't like it,you can reject my request.

DISCLAIMER: always ask for consent first!

warnings: DUBCON, sub!aizawa, edging, verbal abuse, bondage, pegging, gn!reader but light mommy kink is used in reference to, praise kink if you squint?, slightly unrealistic depictions of pegging, reader is fed up but that doesnt excuse their actions :P

word count: 3489

notes: sorry for the delay, i hope u like anon! :D there should always be more pegging fic out there

part 1 here

EXAM SEASON

Finals season is quickly approaching, sending the entire campus into a frenzy, students scrambling like displaced ants trying to finish last minute assignments, novel-esque essays, merciful extra credit projects. The workload takes its toll on everyone, even the star students. You found Aizawa in even worse moods more frequently; a schedule consisting of all nighters spent studying old material followed by early classes and a job on the side, he was absolutely exhausted. You sometimes sneak a peek over at him during class to see his head bobbing slightly, bloodshot eyes struggling to stay open as he fights sleep. A small part of you feels bad for him; he’s a diligent student, and you were sympathetic to his exhaustion.

You still hate the asshole, though.

You found yourself snagged in a twisted sort of arrangement with Aizawa after midterms. There was always a half-assed attempt at tutoring you before giving up and cramming his cock down your throat or deep inside your cunt, leaving you sore and dripping with his cum, all the while spewing insults targeted at your intelligence (or lack thereof). In exchange, he’d complete your assignments and allow you to copy his answers on exam days. Ignoring the situation is where you make peace with yourself; you feel used, but you also have no other option if you want to pass this class.

What you hate the most is the way you roll over and take it. You’re more than just a hole to fuck, you know that, but you’re helpless against his searing abuse and venomous scowls. Even when you try to be nice, it only makes him crueler, your soft pleas and offers of peace an invitation to tear you down and make you cry. You want to fight, to claw and tear into him out of spite. You don’t want to feel so weak anymore.

So, you decide to do something about it.

It’s late, campus illuminated by street lamps and headlights of cars passing by as you make your way into the dorms. After your first encounter, Aizawa began inviting you back to his room instead of the library, deciding to “study” in his personal space as opposed to possibly getting caught in the library with his cock down your throat. You didn’t complain, but it’s especially convenient today, with what you have planned. Knocking on the door softly, you worry your bottom lip between your teeth, anxious for what’s to come.

“Open,” he calls out from inside, prompting you to enter. You pass through the messy common room he shares with his roommate and enter his bedroom, opening the door quietly. Aizawa’s room is tidy compared to the outside, bed made, tousled only where he sits with his laptop, typing.

“You’re late,” he squints at you from behind the screen, shutting the device. “Not surprising.”

“Sorry,” you mutter, placing your book bag on the floor and taking out the very heavy law textbook (that you hadn’t bothered to open since midterms). You take your seat next to him and open to the most recent chapter you read over. He’s silent, only speaking to answer your questions as you focus on the text. You can tell he’s sleepy, his responses slurred and delayed, and you glance over to see him dozing off. Late study sessions and Aizawa’s recent exhaustion meant more often than not that he fell asleep before tormenting you. The first time was startling, but you learned that it was a regular occurrence. 

You prefer Aizawa when he’s drowsy. His usually hard features were softened, quiet snores rumbling from his chest. His dark hair messily framing his face as he leans back against the headboard of his bed, arms folded over his chest. He’s good-looking, no doubt. If his personality matched, you could see yourself falling for him.

His eyes open, shooting you a questioning look, and you duck your head back into your textbook, embarrassed at being caught staring.

You keep quiet for another 20 or so minutes, waiting until he’s truthfully asleep and not just resting. You have to be careful not to wake him, as you aren’t keen on being reprimanded for what you're about to do.

Once you’ve deemed it safe, you stealthily open your bag and retrieve the small plastic bag stored inside. With the help of online shopping, you bought some handcuffs, lube, a dildo, and a harness. You aren’t all into pegging, but this was less about the sex and more about proving yourself, forcing him to respect you, in some perverse way. You retrieve the cuffs, gripping them carefully as to not make any sounds. This is the most crucial part; as long as you could get him restrained, you’d could dish out any revenge you desire. You slip off of the bed and tip-toe, almost comically, around the other side of the bed. You test the waters, snapping your fingers near Aizawa. He doesn’t stir, chest rising and falling with his deep breathing.

You steel yourself with a deep breath; this was your chance. You make quick work with the handcuffs, gently yet hastily clicking the metal around one wrist and looping the cuffs through the headboard before securing his other wrist. A grin spreads across your face; you’re thankful he’s such a deep sleeper.

Now that you had him where you wanted him, you were paralyzed by the sheer amount of possibilities. You climb over him apprehensively, hovering over the unconscious man, who only shifts minutely. The peaceful look on his face puts a small pit in your stomach; this was wrong… right? Technically, this was assault. You frown, a small chill running down your spine. Is this what you had become? It was almost enough to convince you to stop, but you force yourself to remember the first time Aizawa had his way with you, the way you choked and gagged and had to hide your face until you could find a bathroom to wipe off the dried cum that adhered to your skin.

This was his fault; he made you like this.

“Fuck it,” you say aloud, bracing yourself before grabbing a handful of his hair and yanking, hard. He awakes with a surprised gasp, wrenching his head away from the assault.

“The fuck?” He bites, eyes drowsily scouring the situation. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Just waking you up,” you smile, releasing your grip. “It’s kind of boring watching you sleep. I thought we were supposed to be studying.”

Aizawa gives you an agitated look, disoriented as he tries to move, only to find his range of motion limited. “You fucking handcuffed me?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe you didn’t wake up,” you chuckle, sliding your hands under his shirt and running your hands over his taut stomach. He keeps his eyes on you with an expectant expression, waiting for an explanation.

“You know, I like you so much more when you're asleep,” you continue, idly tracing patterns on the skin of his abdomen. “No insults, no curses, no glaring. You’re pretty handsome when you’re not being a total douchebag.”

“Let me go,” he ignores you, yanking the handcuffs. “This isn’t funny.”

“I think it’s pretty funny, actually. You’ve spent all semester treating me like shit, and for what? All I’ve done is be nice to you, even after you call me names and abuse me. It hurts my feelings, you know? It’s not like I’m trying to fail this class, I just needed a little extra help, and you take advantage of that every week. So I do think this is pretty fucking hilarious. Maybe you’ll see just how great I feel when you bully me.”

If looks could kill, your heart would have stopped right then and there. Rage burns behind his glare when he meets your eyes, still struggling to break the cuffs. You’d never seen him like this; at his worst, he seems moderately annoyed in your day to day. Despite being an insufferable asshole, he always manages to keep a cool air about him. Never giving anyone much of a reaction, he’s only nasty when he desires. Watching his face take a red tint and his eyes narrow in frustration send waves of satisfaction rippling through your chest. 

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” he grits out, “If you let me go now, I’ll forget all about this. I promise that you don’t want what’s coming for you once I get out of these cuffs.”

He did have a point; you had no idea what you were doing. That wasn’t going to stop you, though.

“Aw, it’s not so fun now, isn’t it?” You coo at him in a demeaning tone, pouting dramatically. Your wandering hands slid to his crotch, where you could feel his length stirring curiously. You bark out a laugh.

Pulling down his sweats and boxers, your mouth waters at his hardening length. Normally, your stomach would drop at the sight in anticipation for physical abuse you were about to receive. But this? This was different; knowing that you’re the one in control is absolutely captivating. You take his cock in your hands, slowly working your hand up and down. He stays silent in defiance, steady in his glare in an attempt to intimidate you. It would work, usually, but with his hands bound there was nothing he could do to you. He’s betrayed by a pleased noise that slips from his throat.

“Don’t tell me you like this? You want to be taken advantage of, is that it?” you taunt, basking in his agitation as you speed your hand up, thumbing the pre gathering on the slit.

“Watch it,” is his only response, voice dangerously low. He keeps quiet, not willing to surrender to the reactions you’re trying to draw from him. It’s a challenge, if anything, and you weren’t going to back down..

He’s fully erect in no time- you’ve spent enough time as his cocksleeve to know exactly what he likes and responds to. His eyes fall shut as you squeeze tighter, hips canting up into your hand, chasing his own release. You keep it up until he gets a little louder, close to release, and you pull your hand away, watching his dick twitch helplessly.

“Fuck- why’d you stop?” he asks groggily, opening his eyes.

“You didn’t think that I was just going to let you cum that easily, did you? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one,” you shuffle off of the bed, smiling over your shoulder as you hook your thumbs in the band of your leggings. You make a show of sliding the material down over your ass, purposefully leaning over and arching your back. You hear a pleased growl from the bed, causing you to giggle as you pull your underwear down as well.

“You could still let me go,” he offers, giving you a once over as you climb back over him, “I could forget about this if you let me fuck you.”

“Nice try, but I’ll be the one doing the fucking tonight,” you grab your bag from the floor, retrieving the lube but leaving the dildo and harness obscured in the bag. You squeeze a generous amount onto your fingers, causing Aizawa to give you a puzzled look.

“You don’t need lube, you’re always so wet for me,” it’s more of a question than an observation, since your previous trysts never included anything but his spit and your own juices. You just give him a smile before nudging his thighs open with your own, trailing your hand slowly beneath his balls, settling in between his ass and your lubed fingers circle the muscle there. The look on his face is priceless, absolutely shocked at the prospect of you inside of him. He thrashes in protest but you’re steadfast, pinning his hips down with your other hand.

“You can’t be serious,” his voice is alarmed, almost erring on the side of anxious, “you’re dumber than I thought if you think you’re just going to get away with any of this shit.”

“And what are you gonna do about it?” you sing-song, using your dry hand to tug playfully on the cuffs, “You’re a little tied up at the moment.”

“I’m going to beat your cunt up when I get out of these,” it’s a threat, and you ignore the way your stomach flutters at the words, eyes trained on his as you push two fingers inside.

He grunts, his face scrunching up, almost cutely, at the burn of the stretch. You expected him to be tight, but given how tense he is, it’s difficult to push all the way inside. You take it slow, savoring the pained expression on his face; it’s a stark contrast to his cocky demeanor when you’re being subjugated to his abuse. His chest is heaving, a lovely red flush spreading across his skin, eyebrows knit tight, lips bitten red- you’re obsessed. You move your fingers in and out slowly, scissoring just gently enough not to seriously hurt him, but enough to watch him writhe. His dick twitches despite (or maybe due to?) the pain, still red and dripping.

“This is priceless,” you laugh, “if you wanted to get fucked so badly, all you had to do was ask, you know? Mommy would’ve taken care of it for you.”

“Mommy?” he scoffs, rolling his eyes, “you’re insane.”

Any further insult is cut off with a sharp gasp, eyes shooting open in shock, and you know you’ve found it.

You stroke his prostate with a heavy hand, grinding your fingers into the spongy spot inside of him as he struggles to breathe, back arching deliciously. You can’t help but smirk; you kind of get it now. If this is how tormenting you makes Aizawa feel, then you understand why he was so cruel.

“Fuck,” he chokes on a whine that sends heat down your spine, . Your wrist is beginning to strain, but you can’t bring yourself to care. It’s cute; he’s writhing, his hips seeking the stimulation he was previously avoiding as he moans openly, loudly. His cock is an angry purple, pre pooling on his stomach from where it’s leaking. He looks like he’s close, eyes beginning to roll back when you pull your fingers out, laughing as you ruin his orgasm for the second time.

“Please,” he’s breathless, a betrayed look on his face as his hips rock on nothing, desperate to cum.

“Begging already? We haven’t even gotten started yet!”

You reach over into the plastic bag, pulling out the dildo and harness. You can clearly see the fear on his face this time as he moves to sit up, the fog of pleasure clearing quickly.

“Wait,” panic sets in his voice yet again. If you were him, you would be scared too; the toy is thicker than the two fingers you used, something you chose purposefully. You stand and slip on the harness, ignoring his attempts to reason with you.

“What’s wrong? I thought I didn’t know what I was doing?” you ask innocently, forcing your hips between his legs and drizzling some lube on the toy, warming it up with your palm.

“That’s the fucking problem, you idiot, you don’t,” he seethes, pulling on the restraints again, “It won’t fit, and you’re not sending me to the hospital.”

“Exactly, I won’t send you to the hospital. Mommy’s gonna take good care of you,” you coo, settling between his legs.

“Just let me go,” it’s the first genuine plea you’ve heard from him, the sincerity pulling your attention to his eyes where you see a look you can’t quite place. He looks… afraid? Remorseful? It’s enough to give you pause, equal parts consideration and schadenfreude. You settle for leaning forward and placing an uncharacteristically saccharine kiss on his forehead, your humanity getting the best of you.

“All you have to do is relax, okay?” you whisper, resting the tip of the toy against his entrance. He shuts his eyes in anticipation, resigned to his fate, and you push in gently, watching his hole swallow the silicone. The way Aizawa contorts, back bowed to scoot away from the pressure of the toy is salacious, drawing a moan from deep within your chest. He can’t get far due to the restraints, and he lets out a soft sob at the stretch of the toy, face scrunched tight. You push slowly until you bottom out, your hips pressed firmly against his, grinding in small circles to alleviate your own ache. He exhales shakily, unaware that he was holding his breath.

“See, it’s not so bad right?” you soothe, rubbing your thumb against his hip soothingly. “You should be grateful; I’m so much nicer than you are.”

“Fuck you,” it comes out weaker than intended, his voice strained as he tries to adjust to the girth of the toy. 

You pull out slowly, experimentally, watching his stomach clench from the sensation of silicone caressing his insides. His dick gives an interested twitch, despite his demeanor, and that’s the invitation you need to start moving. It’s a little awkward at first, but your enthusiasm combined with the size of the toy more than makes up for your inexperience. He’s breathless, still uncomfortable, but you can see his body slowly relax as he tries to make sense of the sensations coursing through his body.

“You like this, don’t you?” you dig, eyes transfixed on his face, “Is that why you're so mean to me? You strut around like an asshole, just to hide the fact that you’re just a little bitch?”

You focus on angling your hips, searching for his prostate again, and when you find it, you commit to fucking him. He’s loud, stray tears sliding down his face as his body struggles to comprehend both the pain of the stretch and pleasure of the abuse.

“Fuck, you’re cute like this,” you sigh, “you’re meant for this, aren’t you? Meant to get your ass bred by your Mommy? You’d be so much more tolerable if you were sweet like this all of the time.”

His dick jerks violently but he shakes his head with a weak ‘no’, too lost in the sensation to retort any further. You’re soaked by now, the pressure of the toy on your end combined with the power trip pushing you to the edge. It takes all of your self-control, but you suddenly stop, unwilling to let yourself finish so quickly; there’s still unfinished business here.

“Tell me I’m pretty,” it comes out before you can even really think about it, but the words hang heavily in the air.

“Huh?”

“You’re never nice to me, so if you want me to even consider letting you cum, you better start kissing up.”

He hesitates, but when you shift slightly and the blunt head of the toy rubs against his prostate, he changes his tune very quickly.

“Fuck- you’re cute, ‘s the reason why I’m mean to you. So cute when you’re about to cry-” you give him a particularly hard slap on his ass and he winces, muttering a quick apology.

“You’re pretty even when I’m not fucking you, too,” is all you get, but it’s the first genuine compliment you’ve gotten out of the asshole since you’ve met him, and your heart soars. He’s awful and mean and evil but the simple statement is enough for you.

“I’ll let you cum if you beg for it,” you grunt, rutting your hips enthusiastically. You’re close, but you refuse to finish first. He’s needy, thanks to being edged twice, and he’s unable to resist your promise.

“Please, fuck, please let me cum,” he whimpers, voice wet and eyes watery.

“Please what?”

“Mommy! Fuck, please mommy, just let me cum, it hurts, fuck, please,” he babbles, and it’s enough for you. You wrap your hand around his cock and stroke it firmly, hips speeding up as you chase your own release. It’s quick- he finishes almost embarrassingly fast, and the whorish wail that rips from his throat sends you right over the edge, your vision blurring at the corners as you stay trained on his face, obscene and submissive.

It’s quiet after you stop, both of you catching your breath. You pull out slowly, watching the way his hole flutters and you giggle, your body and ego fully satiated. You look back to his face; he looks more fucked out than you’ve ever seen him, almost like he’s about to fall back asleep.

“Can we call it a truce?” You break the silence, grinning as he cracks open an eye to give you a scalding look.

“Fuck. You.”

[angryschnauzer]

Jingle My Bells

Summary: Continuing my AU Rugby Teacher theme that was so brilliantly plot bunny’d by @feelmyroarrrr​, Henry finds himself bored at home having been put onto quarantine due to cases at the school he teaches at. With his school shutting early for the holidays, when his wife needs help at her school, she calls in his assistance for some festive fun... with some after hours fun for themselves too.

Pairing: AU Rugby Teacher Henry Cavill x Teacher Wife

Warnings: Bad Puns, NSFW, 18+, Established Relationship, Public/Risky Sex Workplace Sex, Henry dressed as Santa Claus (yes thats a warning in itself).

Gif by @littlefreya​ and used with her kind permission.

Previous Rugby Teacher Henry Ficlet.

Masterlist on AO3, and old fics can be found at @angryschnauzerwrites​. I don’t run a tag list.

Jingle My Bells

Henry was bored. Two weeks of quarantine after another faculty member had tested positive had meant he'd been confined to the house 24/7. Just as his test results had come back negative and his return to work for the last week of term had been scheduled, the high school had been notified that two students had come in contact with confirmed cases, so to cut their losses the board of governors had simply implemented end of term a week early.

And sure, Henry had done what he could to help keep himself busy; online gaming, World of Warcraft, hell; he'd even helped you mark homework for your primary school class. He cooked dinner for you so it was ready the moment you arrived home, and the house was the cleanest it'd ever been, but without you home with him he was just… bored.

"Just one more day, then its the end of term" you'd reassured him as you'd kissed him goodbye that morning, and he'd pulled you into his arms;

"Will you wear the elf outfit home tonight?"

"Oh, does someone have an elf kink?" You'd grinned and raised an eyebrow.

Henry lifted his hand to the little bells that were attached to your green knit dress;

"I kinda want to find out how i can make these jingle… i have some ideas…"

"Well you can fill my stockings after work, but i've got to go or i'll be late…" you pressed a kiss to his cheek; "Got to set up the area for Santa" 

With a groan your husband released you;

"Fine, but i want you to sit on my lap later"

-

Henry was standing at the fridge contemplating whether eating Babybell cheeses wrapped in Parma ham sandwiched between two slices of toast counted as lunch when his phone rang. Seeing your school's number on the display he was half curious and half worried, but visibly relaxed when he heard your voice;

"Hennn…." You purred

"Oh god… you only use that voice when you want something i won't like…"

"Are you free this afternoon?"

He sighed over dramatically;

"What do you need?"

"We need a Santa. The guy we booked was someone's grandad but he's been on the sherry and we had to send him home because he was slurring his speech and referred to the kids as 'crotch gobins'"

Henry let out a snort of laughter;

"I've met your class… some of them are…"

"Nevertheless… could you stand in? We've got the suit, and you've been quarantining for 3 weeks so are safe… pleeease…"

"Hmmmmnn"

"Hennn, please… i've got a thirty kids that still believe…"

Henry sighed;

"Okay… i'll be there in ten minutes"

“You’ll need to walk…there’s no space left in the staff car park”

He sighed;

“Okay, make it thirty minutes”

-

If there was an award for best/worst performance as Santa, Henry would have got it hands down. Putting on his best pantomime Brian Blessed voice, he'd Ho Ho Ho'd his way through the three youngest classes of wide eyed Little Ones that had thoroughly loved meeting Santa. When it had come to the older kids in the Junior years, generally 8 years old and above, he'd taken a different tactic, instead filing them out to the playground and if they could score a hoop through the Netball net, he'd deem them nice rather than naughty.

By the time hometime rolled around every single child had a smile on their face, excitedly rushing out to their parents waiting at the gate, pointing out Santa to their younger siblings sat in Pushchairs and Prams.

When you’d finally waved everyone off you made your way back to your classroom, the security door alert sounding as you entered the corridor, the hallways quiet where your colleagues had already packed up their stuff and left for the day. Henry trailed behind you, chattering away about what the kids had told him, shedding himself of the fake Santa beard and the scratchy jacket, leaving him wearing the hat, his plain black t-shirt, and the Santa trousers and boots. He flopped down into your chair as you busied yourself around the classroom, his feet up on your desk. 

Moving around him you stacked papers ready to be archived when he wrapped his hands around your waist and pulled you onto his lap;

“Come and sit on Santa’s knee”

Abandoning the papers you laughed as you settled on your husband's lap, turning to kiss him and the little bells on your dress jingled as you moved. The kiss went from chaste to needy in a matter of seconds, and you could feel Henry harden beneath your ass as you wriggled on his lap. His hand groped at your breasts through your dress as his lips started a trail along your chin and down your neck;

“Have you been naughty or nice this year?”

You wriggled on your lap;

“Oh I've been Naughty…”

Suddenly you were spinning as Henry fluidly moved to his feet, pushing you over your desk and stood behind you;

“Well i guess i’d better do something about that then” he pulled your dress up with a jingle of the bells attached and smoothed his hands over your ass, the green and white stripes of your tights framing your buttocks. With strong fingers he grasped the thin fabric and tugged, ripping a hole in them and letting out an appreciative grunt when he found you wearing a lace thong;

“You’ve been parading around in that little dress with this poor excuse for underwear beneath all day? You really have been a naughty girl” he purred in your ear as his fingers tugged the elastic aside.

You tried to move away, painfully aware of your location;

“Hen! We’re at school!”

“Shhh… the door alarm to the hallway will sound if anyone comes… so how about i make you cum before that happens, eh?”

His fingers had found your clit as he’d pushed his thumb into your velvet channel, and any further arguments were lost on your tongue as you sighed in pleasure;

“Hen, make it quick… the cleaners will be doing their rounds soon”

Looking over your shoulder you watched as Henry quickly shoved the Santa trousers and boxers down, his thick and meaty dick springing free where he was already rock hard and dripping with need;

“I’m gonna jingle your bells darling…” he positioned himself and quickly thrust in, making you gasp at the sudden stretch of it; “Gonna fill your stockings…”

“Tights” you corrected

“Same fucking thing” he grunted as he started to pound into you, the rhythmic thud of his efforts topped off with the delicate jingling of the bells on your dress. His hands moved and grabbed at your breasts, his breath hot and heavy against your ear as he filled you hard and fast from behind; “Want me to come down your chimney tonight?”

Grinning you turned your head;

“How about we save that for when we’re at home…?”

Henry paused, his eyes going wide when he realised you were agreeing to the one thing in your sex life you hadn’t tried yet, even after being married for a number of years and him dropping numerous hints;

“Really?”

“Well, i know you didn’t put it on your Christmas list but if a elf is gonna be naughty she might as well be naughty all the way…” you winked at him; “But you gotta hurry up now…”

With a grunt of determination he started to pound into you, one hand moving down your stomach and pushing between your legs, rubbing at your clit as he did his best to quickly bring you both to orgasm. Your moans started to get louder, and he clamped his other hand over your mouth as he started to feel you cuming, your body shaking and the loud thuds of his thrusts filling the room as your desk squeaked on the linoleum floor. With a grunt he thrust in deep and at the height of your orgasm you felt him flooding your womb with rope of his creamy seed, his massive hands pulling you to his chest as he buried his face in your neck whilst your cunt milked the last of his cum from his body. 

Breathless and glowing, you rested your head on Henry’s shoulder, your chest heaving before he carefully pulled out of you, pulling your underwear back into place as he tucked himself back into his boxers and Santa trousers. As you shimmied your dress back down you heard the thrumming of the floor polisher along the corridor, your eyes going wide before Henry turned you and rested his hands on your shoulders;

“C’mon, lets get home”

Taking a deep breath you smiled;

“Help be grab the last few bits then we can go”

Five minutes later you were stepping out of your classroom, Henry holding the large box of things you wanted to bring home for the holidays including your peace lily, pulling the door shut when you heard footsteps, turning to see the after hours cleaner;

“Night Mr Howell, have a good Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas Mrs Cavill…” he paused when he saw Henry standing next to you

“This is my Husband, he stood in as Santa today”

The old man nodded and smiled, carrying on with his mop as you walked in the opposite direction. Just as you got the security door you heard him starting to whistle, your eyes shooting up to meet Henry’s as you heard the tune;

‘Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way…’

Henry wrapped his free arm around your shoulders;

“C’mon my naughtly little Elf, i’ll drive you home” he grinned at you; “Then we can see about that chimney of yours…”

You clenched at the thought, your body already tingling at the thought of it. And hey, if you were going to let your husband finally fuck your ass, at least you had the entire school holidays to recover.