#its so easy to clock people its a little embarrassing

[taiyami]

I love being in airports when I'm going to the midwest because I can just tell who is going home and who is going to visit based on vibe alone.

[coralinnii]

❋ You said what now? ❋

↳ He accidentally found out your feelings

feat: Ruggie ⭑ Chenya ⭑ Lilia ⭑ Epel

genre: fluff (uhh for the most part), humour,

note: no pronouns used with the reader, no explicit spoilers for book 7 in Lilia’s section, reader is referred as human in Lilia’s section, reader is implied to be a first year in Epel’s section, bad cat-related wording in Chenya’s section

Fun fact: while not obvious in the English translation, if you listen to Chenya’s Japanese voice lines, he likes to say “nya” at the end of his sentences.

Will I keep that fact in mind anytime Chenya pops up? Absolutely.

Also, I just started my college classes again last week (which is why I didn’t post last week). All of my classes are dense with text and quizzes so…I need to study real hard which will most likely eat up my time for writing. Good ol’ inconsistent me~

Although, I’m taking History and we focus a bit on the age of nobility and old kingdoms…so maybe some inspiration for my villain/ess!au series (or maybe not cuz history is weirder than one thinks…)

How it happened

Perhaps a little sneaky, Ruggie is someone reliable, resourceful, and fun to be around. You started to fall for him and even that sneaky side of his became endearing to you.

But bigger, financial priorities occupy the hyena beastman’s mind more than anything else. Unless he can make a madol from it or get a freebie, his interest in anything else is seemingly non-existent. It was rather easy to keep your feelings to yourself when the topic of love rarely, if ever, comes up.

So it came to a surprise to you when the shaggy-haired sophomore mentioned his coworkers at a part-time job he picked up in town.

He started ranting about how a duo at his workplace started an unlikely relationship a few days ago. According to him, the two were from two different worlds and didn’t appear to be either of their types.

“Doesn’t make any sense if you ask me” he mumbled, scratching his fluffy head by the sudden revelation at his job.

You nodded and hummed as he recounted his workday with you, but in all honesty, you didn’t share his confusion over the so-called sudden pairing. By the way Ruggie described the couple, it does sound like their personalities wouldn’t mesh well and would theoretically clash too much for anything to bloom between them.

But attraction follows no simple formula. No one can stop themselves from falling for someone. You yourself were an example.

“Love is never predictable, Ruggie.” you commented without thinking, perhaps too distracted by the cute love story of Ruggie’s coworkers or it could be that you’re drowning in the warm feelings from being so close to your crush that your mouth is running too comfortably on its own. “I mean, I never thought you were my type but I still ended up-“

You shut your mouth before you could finish but looking at the wide-eyed expression on Ruggie’s face, the effort was moot.

“You still ended up?”

…Shoot.

What happens now?

Colour him shocked. Ruggie never entertained the idea that you would like him, out of all people.

He could’ve pretended not to figure it out, or convince himself that it was a misunderstanding. But he knew when he saw your flustered embarrassment and your cute stuttering trying to come up with an excuse, there was no misunderstanding. You like him.

Ruggie has a good amount of ego and he wouldn’t downplay his boyish good looks (odds are it got him out of a few close calls), but in a school of celebrities, royalty, and guys with money coming out the wazoo? He knows when he’s outmatched.

To be honest, his brain froze for a moment at your slip up. He clutched his heart which stuttered out of beat, his ears and tail stood in attention like a meerkat. Jack was worried watching his upperclassman in such a daze while folding laundry, heck it even got Leona raising a brow over the uncharacteristic clocked out look on his shorter dormmate.

But, Ruggie is a workaholic hyena. Always planning his way to work up the ladder to earn some good madol. Even if he likes the idea of making a family of his own, romance wasn’t in his peripheral vision at the moment. Not while he’s working multiple jobs at once. He would honestly feel a little bad because he knows he’ll end up ignoring any poor soul stuck with him.

As bad as it is, he might at first think to pretend he heard nothing about your feelings. He couldn’t bring himself to make you go through that, to be in a relationship where work takes precedence over you.

But then he thought it wouldn’t be so bad…snuggling up to you during one of his rare free time. Maybe you’re the type to surprise him with lunch and he could rest on your lap while you brush his hair. Would you maybe rub his sore muscles after an arduous club training session? Having boyfriend privileges means no one can complain when he slides up to your side, keeping your attention to himself without having to share…

Screw it, he’ll figure something out. He’s a greedy hyena through and through

Shyeheehee! Better be ready for what you’re asking for. Once I’ve set my eyes on something, I’m not lettin’ it get away!

How it happened

This man is a literal magic trick, appearing and disappearing to revel in the shock of his unsuspecting audience. As elusive as he is, the times he does show up brings a shock of joy and excitement to you.

It seems that the purple-haired student has made it a habit to join the Heartslabyul’s unbirthday parties from time to time, enjoying the occasional chaos and keeping you company to your conflicted delight.

You didn’t know why but Chenya made it his mission to fluster you every chance he gets, with cheeky comments and sly touches as he leads you away from incoming mishaps such as a stray splash of paint or a flying slice of cake. You don’t know why but the cat-like menace has taken a shine to teasing you out of the blue. Sometimes he would suddenly whisper nonsensical riddles into your ear, or tap your shoulder to then poke your cheek as you turn. Small silly pranks that should annoy you but your body becomes filled with butterflies when he smiles that charming grin at you.

How maddening, you thought as you fell for another sneaky surprise from the impish beastman. Once again, Chenya appeared right behind you, smiling just over your shoulder which gave you and your friends a fright (for different reasons) to which he took pleasure in, judging from the mischievous grin on his lips.

Your shouting caught the attention of the other Heartslabyul students and recognizing the white jacket and castle emblem, their eyes boiled with competitive rage. An RSA student? On Night Raven territory?!

“Ah, looks like fun time is over. I’ll just show meowself out~” and like a mirage, Chenya’s figure disappeared as the NRC students failed to catch even a strand of his fur. Not even when he took a second longer to fade out just so he could teasingly tickle the tip of your nose with his fluffy striped tail.

The students kept on making a fuss, eager to teach the mischief maker a lesson for trespassing on rival territory. You sighed at the wasteful effort, assuming that Chenya would be smart enough to have left long ago.

“Why must my crush be such a frustrating person?” Angry hollers and Riddle’s commanding cease-and-desist orders overwhelmed your tired voice, and your soft words ended up softly carried off into the wind.

But your words caught the interest of a curious ear before it disappeared.

What happens now?

Curiouser and curiouser. He was not expecting such a confession. Though to be fair, he supposed you didn’t mean for anyone to hear it.

Chenya found joy being in your company. The shock in your bright eyes followed by your cute laugh sends a warm, giddy feeling in his heart that he just could not stop. He had a feeling he knew what these feelings could be but he was content with what he could get in the rare moments he can see you.

But now, when he realized what your cute reactions meant? That sends whole new exciting feelings within him. It’s fuzzy and warm as usual, but now also shocking and thrilling. The sneaky beastman is grinning for more than one reason now.

He won’t immediately confess back. Considering this wonderful predicament where you don’t know he knows of your affections, his playful nature compels him to milk the fun of this situation for all its worth.

If you thought his cheeky antics were bad enough, you haven’t seen his flirty side till now. Playful taps on the shoulders become sneaky grabs by the waist, and just when you think he’s gone, his signature grin would grace your vision as he fades into view, a little too close to your own face. Sometimes when he feels emboldened, Chenya would sweep you off your feet for a spontaneous walk along the sweet breeze.

When you’re finally at your wit’s end, when all his teasing and heart-fluttering gestures fills you to the point of combusting in flustered frustration, that’s when he’ll finally tell you his reciprocated feelings, perhaps while stealing a quick kiss when you least suspect it. All to see that terribly adorable look on your pretty face.

Every adventure requires a first step. I’m excited to see where we’ll go together from meow on~

How it happened

See, you thought he already knew. You swore he did. Why else would he tease you so much with his sweet compliments and flirty jokes? The mysterious senior spoke to you as though you were a naive child crushing on their older peer, which you supposed wasn’t entirely wrong.

The way he treated you with so much care and love that you wondered if he already suspected of your feelings and was being considerate to you. He listens to your rambles as though he has all the time in the world for you, compliments you on your achievements as though he’s genuinely proud of your hard work, and he jokes with you with that boyish charm of his. But the scarlet-eyed fae never pursued further with advances with you, which made you think that perhaps this was just who Lilia was, a strange but friendly man, unwilling to hurt your feelings. Were you grasping at straws and misconstruing his intentions?

With a heavy heart, you tried your best to give up your hopes but maintained a cordial bond with Lilia, not wanting to avoid the jovial fae so suddenly (well, without having to explain why anyways)

But one day, when you were walking with the smiling senior, he started talking about a souvenir shirt that Kalim had given him during their club meeting. It was a shirt patterned erratically with various colours and pictures of tiny bats littered about. It was an eccentric visual of fabric but it strangely fits the equally eccentric man.

“What are your thoughts? Would I not look absolutely adorable in this?” Lilia asked, holding the shirt in front in his uniform with a boyish smile, his fangs peeking out slightly. But you rolled your eyes as you sighed exasperated by this man’s antics.

“Don’t you think that’s unfair for you to ask me?” You looked at him with a pout, somewhat irritated at the mature fae you’re trying to get over. “Of course I’d said you would, considering how much I like you”

For a rare moment, Lilia turned wide-eyed at your words. “Pardon? Do you by chance… harbour feelings for me?”

Turns out, he didn’t know at all

What happens now?

Guess you can still surprise this old man. He had his suspicions but for all he knew that was how the youth were these days. He was fond of your shy expressions whenever he was around and he could hear the quickening of your heartbeat, but he didn’t want to assume. Perhaps you were just more on the skittish side.

In the centuries he lived, he saw love in many forms. In the recent centuries he lived, he got to experience some of those forms of love he’s seen, with the pain and joy that comes with it. To him, it couldn’t ask for more as he lives out the last few centuries he has left.

You however, were still vibrant like a freshly bloomed flower in its prime. Was that why he just couldn’t take his eyes off you? He couldn’t help but watch in admiration as you lived with almost enviable vigour. He felt pulled, entranced to be by your side for even just a moment, just to see that beautiful gleam of life (and love, he realized) in your eyes.

But Lilia felt a beat of guilt in his heart. Your life is so short in comparison to his own. You should be sharing your youth with someone as brilliant as yourself, not pining over an old soul like himself. Humans are fickle creatures but he supposed with such short lives, it’s best to be curious and experience all one can without regrets.

He would be honest with you, sharing his thoughts with you as though warning that your affections were better spent with someone that suited you better. It would be up to you to convince the stubborn fae that he was your choice, that you already decided he suited you just fine. All you’re asking from him is if he shared the same feelings as you did.

“I may have tried to get rid of my feelings before, but I’m choosing not to run away this time,” in your eyes, Lilia sees that same vibrant gleam that mesmerized him, almost breathing a new sense of life into him. “All I ask is if you feel the same way”

And he does. He’s lying to himself if he hasn't thought of a life with you where he could steal surprise kisses throughout the day, where he could bring you to soar through the night skies as he takes you to explore the world with him. He imagines a life of silliness but also a life of blissful content as he gazes at you like a beacon of light in his life, a new reason to live a bit longer.

Lilia feels ensnared by love once more, but the burning warmth in his soul is just too invigorating. He’s looking forward to this new chapter in his life, with you.

I do hope you’ve prepared yourself, my dear. Eternal love with a fae should not be taken lightly. But rest assured, I look forward to our new adventure

How it happened

You were Epel’s close friend and confidant, someone who he can share his achievements and woes with. Being so new to the college, the two of you depend on each other through thick or thin and along the way, you grew to see the lavender-haired freshman as more than just a companion.

He has a bit of a temper and is quick to the jump at times, but he was always there for you and even though he doesn’t always see eye-to-eye with them at times, he respects his seniors and takes their lessons to heart.

When he talks about how much he dislikes his height or his feminine features, you nodded along for his sake but you couldn’t tell him that you were actually in disagreement. You adore his fluffy locks that you occasionally got to touch with his permission and his light blue eyes felt like calming waves of the purest lake. Epel constantly swore to you that he’ll have his growth spurt and will even tower Leona in height, but you like how you could hold him close to you without issue.

You love all that he is, even if he’s not too keen on some parts himself

But you kept this all to yourself. You thought Epel had other priorities on his mind and you were scared that confessing would ruin the friendship you’d built with him. For now, you were content to be by his side for however long you can.

You were dead tired during a particularly harsh Flying class with Coach Vargas and you were barely conscious enough to keep your eyes open. It took everything you had to just nod along to whatever Epel was saying, something about some Savanaclaw students?

“Who they think they are, callin’ me cute like that? I outta rip off their yapper for underestimatin’ me.” You weren’t helping his point when you thought how cute his accent was as he grumbled about his day. You were falling in and out of consciousness but thought you should at least reply back to your friend…anything at all…

“I’m sorry…that happened…even though…I think…you’re really cute…”

You were already out cold to notice your friend frozen in place as you finished your drowsy comment, your head landing on his stiff shoulders.

What happens now?

ALDFIUAHLBWAIGLH

Congratulations, you broke your friend and you don’t even remember it. When you woke up, you couldn’t figure out why Epel was as bright red as his hometown’s apples. Epel couldn’t even bring it up without getting too tongue-tied, his accent sputtering out incomprehensible words.

The blue-eyed freshman was raking his brain for an explanation. You thought he was cute…really cute to be precise, but what does that mean? Did you like him? As in like-like him? Is it normal for non-countryside folk to just say something like that? But most students around here tend to mean it like an insult but you weren’t like them, you would never do that to him. So what did you mean by it??

Left without a choice, Epel thought about who he could ask about this, maybe one of his seniors. But he immediately reconsidered when he realized who his seniors were (Vil and Rook will never let this go and there’s no way Leona would entertain this conversation) and turned to the only adult he can trust, his meemaw.

In his letter, he asked his grandma what it means when someone you cherish calls you cute (not mentioning who) and after a few days of fidgeting and awkward encounters with very confused you, he finally got an answer from her.

“STOP SITTIN’ ON YOUR KEISTER TWIDDLIN’ ‘ER THUMBS! GO AND ASK, DAGNABBIT!”

And that’s how you were confronted by a flustered Epel about your cute comment one random school day. To be fair, you probably didn’t fare any better when you realized you let your thoughts slip out.

You may have confessed your attraction to him but Epel can still be the first to make the first move. Relationships and dating are all new to the petite freshman and honestly he felt a little weak in the knees, all the nerves wracking his body like his first broom ride. But the past few days, he couldn’t stop thinking about being with you, sweeping you off your feet, impressing you the only way he can, to have your eyes solely on him like he does when you’re around. Heck, he thought what it’d be like to grow old with you, holding you like no one else can as you spend day and night by each other’s side. All these thoughts and more is what spur him to take the next step.

I ain’t too great on love and romance, but I’ll work hard to show ya how much ya mean to me. I promise that!

[idyllic-ghost]

title: Hopefully pairing: idol!hongjoong x reader genre: domestic fluff, slight angst, idol!au, secret relationship, hurt/comfort warnings: anxiety over a relatively new relationship, a sexual innuendo, general fears about abandonment and the future of the relationship, not proofread synopsis: You haven’t seen Hongjoong in a week and it’s starting to take a toll on you. wordcount: 3k taglist: @d0nghyuck, @fantasy2wonderland, @niktwazny303, @wonwoospartyhat, @stariightjoyy, @hyneyedfiz, @crazywittysassy, @yeosayang rating: PG

a/n: this is a bit inspired by “oxalá” (aka hopefully) by MARO! i know i was going to write something else, but this story came to my mind and i needed to get it out😭

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You’ve got one (1) new voicemail!

“Hey, babe, I’m not going to make it to your place tonight. I got stuck at the studio and lost track of the time- I’m sorry, I know I said I would come over… I have practice tomorrow morning, but maybe I can try to sneak off to you tomorrow evening? I promise I’ll try my best to make it work! Sleep w-”

The beep cut off the message before Hongjoong got to finish. It was the second time you had listened to it. He had called you while you were at work, doing overtime, and you hadn’t heard your phone buzzing in your bag. It was typical of the two of you; you always managed to miss each other by a hair. You sighed and put down your phone on the counter. The clock on your kitchen wall said 12:30, and you’d usually be in bed by now but you couldn’t bring yourself to lay down in it. Not when you knew the bed would be empty, and the sheets would be cold. Therefore, you sat by the counter with a cup of tea in front of you. 

You were nursing the cup in your palms as if the warmth of the mug would be as comforting as your lover’s embrace. It was late when he had called you, and it sounded like he was heading off to bed, but you were still mulling over whether or not to call him - you just needed to hear his voice. Your phone was next to the cup on the counter, its dark screen was taunting you with your reflection. The little amount of willpower that you had was not enough to keep you away from him; so you picked up your phone and texted him.

You [12:32]: are you awake?

After pressing send, you quickly put your phone down and sighed. You had lost to your needs and wants yet again. The two of you weren’t even official - you couldn’t be. It was easy to fall in love with him, but harder to keep loving him. Everything had to stay secret, no matter how much you wanted to shout to the world that, yes, you were very much in love with Kim Hongjoong and he actually liked you back! However, with his line of work came a lot of restrictions. Seeing him was difficult, meeting up with him in public was even more difficult, and telling people that you were dating was out of the question. 

As much as you enjoyed sneaking around with him, you couldn’t deny your want to be his and for him to be yours - you wanted to be his partner, and you wanted others to know that you were his partner. Instead, you’re stuck in an in-between-relationship; where you’re exclusively seeing each other, but unable to do things that partners would or tell anyone that you were partners - a relationship where you were still scared to seem clingy, despite the two of you barely seeing each other. The low buzzing of your phone brought you out of your spiraling thoughts.

Hongjoong [12:34]: yes, but why are you awake?🤨

You smiled at the message, trying to contain your excitement by biting your bottom lip. The cup was set to the side, the comforting warmth on your palms no longer needed, and you picked up your phone.

You [12:34]: I couldn’t sleep.. did I wake you up?

Hongjoong [12:35]: no, I’m still in the studio🥲why can’t you sleep?

You sighed yet again, trying to come up with an excuse that wasn’t utterly embarrassing to type out. Before you could answer him, your phone buzzed again.

Hongjoong [12:36]:  do you want me to call you?

It was as if he could read your mind. You quickly sent him a yes, and put your phone down to wait for him to call. It only took a few seconds. After waiting for a few seconds, trying to figure out when the appropriate amount of time had passed to answer, you pressed ‘Accept call’ and held the phone up to your ear.

“Hi, baby.” Hongjoong’s voice was raspy like he hadn’t spoken for a long time.

Baby. The nickname had slipped out so casually that you almost didn’t realize that he had said it. Now it was all you could think about. Hongjoong didn’t call you by pet names often, they’d slip out in the heat of the moment and he’d get shy. He could suddenly go from slightly irritated over you touching something in his studio, to a flustered mess because of you teasing him about calling you babe. You would never get tired of it.

“Hey, am I interrupting?” You brought your hand up to your mouth, biting down on your thumb’s nail.

“No, I’m packing up for the night soon.” He sighed, and you could hear him push his chair away from his desk. “I’m sorry for not coming over today.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” you murmured. “Work is important.”

“Not more important than you,” he countered a little too quickly. “I’m working on work-life balance. I promise.”

“I know.” You chuckled under your breath. 

The line went quiet for a moment. You could hear his breathing - soft and steady - and you could picture him, sitting in his chair with a large hoodie draping over his frame. A mixture of comfort and disappointment flooded your veins. Comfort from hearing his voice, disappointment from not being able to hear it in person. Hongjoong cleared his throat, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Why can’t you sleep?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know…” you trailed off, but shortly thereafter continued, “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

His words lingered in the air, and you closed your eyes to savor them. A part of you wanted to yell that if he missed you so much he should try to be here more, but you knew it wasn’t fair. It’s not his fault. You shut your eyes tighter, bowing your head down as if to curl into yourself, and tried to hide from the angry feeling bubbling up in your stomach. Tears started stinging in your eyes, and, despite your efforts, a weak sob made its way past your lips.

“Y/N…” You could hear the frown in Hongjoong’s voice. “I’m sorry, please don’t cry.”

“I’m not,” you lied as you wiped away your tears. “I promise, I’m not. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

The line went quiet again as you sniffled. You could hear shuffling from his end, as he gathered together his things. As you pieced everything together, you quickly tried to protest - telling him that he didn’t have to come over and that you really were fine.

“Stop it.” His voice was shaky. “I’m coming over, and you can’t stop me.”

“I wasn’t trying to-”

“I know.”

“... could you stay on the phone with me until you get here?” you asked quietly, your voice coming off as weaker than you wanted it to.

“Of course.”

You grabbed a tissue and wiped your face from tears and snot, and the realization of what you were doing hit you then. It felt stupid to cry over this, but it had gone too long since you had seen him. The urge to cry, kick, and scream was overwhelming - but you kept it inside your chest with a deep breath. 

“Thank you,” you mumbled. “I really didn’t mean to pull you away from work.”

“I know, it’s okay,” he assured you. “I’m heading to the parking lot now, it’ll only be a few minutes.”

A few minutes until you get to see Hongjoong. You could wait just a few more minutes, right? Despite the assurance that he’d be here soon, the empty feeling in your heart didn’t dissipate. In fact, the cavity in your chest only grew larger. You knew he wouldn’t get here for a while, but you still got up from your chair and walked over to your front door.

“How long has it been since I got to see you?” you thought out loud.

“I think it’s been a week already.” Hongjoong groaned. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, okay? I knew what I signed up for with you.”

It was meant as reassurance, but it came out wrong and you cringed as soon as the words left your lips. Hongjoong laughed, making you feel just a little lighter on your feet. You heard the jingling sound of his keys, signaling that he was already near his car.

“That came out wrong,” you said.

“It’s okay, I get it.” You could hear him open the car door. “Let me put you on speaker, hold on a second.”

You leaned against the wall and listened to the rustling sounds of Hongjoong getting into his car and putting down his phone. The engine started, and he stayed quiet as he focused on getting out of his parking space. The parking lot must have been almost empty because it didn’t take long for him to get back to you.

“Alright, I’m on my way now!” he chimed.

“Thank you, baby…”

“Baby?” he teased, laughing as he finally got to take revenge on you.

“Shut up-”

“No, I deserve this,” he argued. “You never call me pet names, I’m taking advantage of it.”

“Well, now I’m never doing it again.”

He gasped on the other side of the line, and you could practically hear the fake-hurt pout on his lips as he muttered something under his breath. No matter the situation, Hongjoong could always find a way to make you smile.

“I teased you once and now you’re revoking my pet name privileges?” He scoffed. 

You liked him like this. It made you forget about everything else; this was the actual Hongjoong, and only you could witness it. In one slow movement, you slid down onto the floor and crossed your legs. With your head leaning against the wall, you looked up to the ceiling and smiled.

“I thought you didn’t like the mushy stuff,” you said, “I would include pet names in that.”

“I don’t dislike mushy stuff… I just get shy,” he admitted quietly.

“You don’t seem very shy when you go on stage,” you countered.

“That’s different!” he exclaimed, and added with a hushed voice, “I just get shy around you.”

Your smile grew wider. You wanted to tell him that you got shy around him, too, and all of the other things he made you feel - but you couldn’t find the words. His words were saved in the back of your mind, for you to think of later and come up with something equally heartwarming.

“I’m almost there,” he said to break the silence, and you could hear the clicking sound of his blinkers as he was probably driving up to the car park already.

“Good,” you said. “Hongjoong?”

“Yes?”

“I’ll stop teasing you for calling me nicknames,” you said, “if I get to keep calling you ‘baby’, too.”

“Deal.” You can hear the grin in his voice. “I’m getting out of the car now, baby.”

A laugh bubbled up your throat. Partially because of his silly tone, but also out of pure excitement. Your giddiness was apparently contagious, as Hongjoong let out a giggle as well - and you could hear the echo of his shoes hitting the concrete floor as he sprinted towards your building.

“I’m almost at the elevator!” he whisper-yelled.

“Hurry!”

He swore under his breath, clicking the button to the elevator multiple times. Eventually, you heard a ding and the doors opening. He was so close. You wanted to run out of your apartment and meet him halfway, but you knew that his being here was already a risk in itself. So you settled beside the door, no longer sitting on the floor. And when you heard the keys you had given him unlock the door, you quickly opened it and pounced on him. He stumbled back slightly, pressing ‘End call’ on his phone before hugging you back. With your arms still wrapped around him, he walked into your apartment and closed the door behind the two of you. Only then did he fully embrace you. You buried your head into his coat, cold from the chill air outside but it smelled like him so you didn’t mind. Your hands balled up into fists, creasing the soft material of his coat, and you pulled him even closer to you. Hongjoong’s chin found its rightful place on the top of your head. 

“I’ve missed you,” he repeated, and you felt your tears threatening to spill onto your cheeks again. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.” His voice was trembling now.

As you tried to get out of his grip to look at him and comfort him, Hongjoong put his hand on the back of your head. He held you in place, soft enough to still allow you to leave if you really wanted to let go but firm as if he was silently begging you to stay. So, you stayed and pretended not to notice the tears that fell from his eyes and hit the top of your head. He shifted to kiss the top of your head and gave you one last squeeze before letting you go. You watched as he wiped his tears with his sleeve, quickly as if you wouldn’t notice. For his sake, you pretended that you didn’t.

“Have you eaten?” you asked.

“I ate some take-out for dinner.” He bent down to take off his shoes. “If you’re hungry we can eat, but I just want to go to bed with you.”

Yes. Bed. The concept that had seemed so daunting before now felt like a long-lost dream that had come to life. He stood back up, and you took a long look at him. He had colored his hair, you had seen pictures but you hadn’t seen it in person yet. Blonde always did suit him. He was busy taking off his coat while you watched him. It hadn’t settled in your brain that he was actually in front of you, it felt unreal.

“So?”

“Hm?”

“Are you hungry?” he asked with a smile. You had really missed that smile.

“Oh. No, I ate earlier.” You held out your hand to him. “Let’s go to bed.”

He took your hand gleefully and followed you like a puppy who’s just been promised a walk. You brought him to your bedroom. It was clean, and the bed was still made from this morning. While Hongjoong sat down on the edge of your bed, you pulled out some of the clothes that he had left there - an old pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt, that you desperately didn’t want to give back.

“I’ve been looking for this,” he hummed as you gave him the clothes. “I didn’t know I had left it here…”

“I, uh… I may have stolen it.” You sent him your best smile, trying to look as innocent as possible.

“You’re cute.” Was all he said before he went into the bathroom to change.

You had the sudden urge to follow him - and, despite what he would think and tease you for, it was not with sexual intent. Now that you finally got to see him again, you couldn’t stand him leaving even for a second. However, you stood your ground and decided to fix up the bed instead. You removed any throw pillows, and pulled down the covers. Just as you got into your side of the bed, Hongjoong came back from the bathroom. He left his clothes on a chair, before he all but ran to your bed. When he had gotten under the covers, he shuffled closer to you and began peppering your face with kisses.

“I’ve missed you, I’ve missed you, I’ve missed you…” he muttered between every other kiss.

You laughed until you were gasping for air, but you didn’t dare lean away from him. As he planted a final kiss on your lips, you let out a low hum of approval. Hongjoong pulled you closer, letting you snuggle up against his chest. It was almost impossible for you to stop smiling. As it settled in your bones that he was actually there, right in front of you, you finally relaxed.

“I want it to be like this all the time,” you admitted.

“Me too,” he murmured. “I’m sorry it’s so complicated.”

“It’s okay,” you hummed. “I guess it makes times like these more special.”

“I’ll try to make a plan for the future, okay?” he said. “I’ll talk to the company and we can figure something out. We could find a good apartment and-”

“You want to move in with me?”

“Yeah, I love you.”

Maybe it was the fact that it was late, or maybe he hadn’t been sleeping a lot since you last saw him, but the words slipped out of his mouth so casually that you almost didn’t register that he said it. You looked up at him. He was still talking about his plans, not having realized what he had said. Putting one of your hands on his face, gently cupping his cheek, got his attention. His words faltered and you brought his lips to yours for a chaste kiss.

“I love you, too.”

At first, he just seemed shocked, but you could see the gears turning in his head. When he finally remembered what he had said, his face was practically glowing in the dark. He quickly tried to explain how he was very tired, and that he was going to make the moment more special but he had forgotten. You simply smiled and put your head on his chest again, the action silencing the man lying next to you again.

“Keep telling me about your plans,” you said.

He started talking again, and you felt the soft vibration of his words in his chest. As he talked about your future, you slowly drifted off to sleep. Hongjoong kept talking until he finally heard you snore. He brought the covers over your shoulder and hugged you closer. Hopefully, he’d be able to spend every night with you just like this.

[pocket-watcher]

Y'know what'd be a fun one? A non-believer in hypnosis who goes along with what they're asking to amuse them and openly mocks them... but she slowly starts doing crazier stuff because she doesn't see doing them as a big deal (right now...). 100% believing she's in control the whole time :)

OKAY anon I have such a treat for you because not only am I going to write one for you but this concept exists in fanfiction form!!

Hypnosis is fucking bullshit by Steven Secret is an excellently written M/M fanfic for My Hero Academia, so please go and give this some love if you’re into fanfics!

And, without further ado, my take on this prompt:

“So… you’re like a magician for children’s birthday parties. Is that it?”

They shook their head.

“Okay, so like a therapist or something?”

They shook their head once more.

“I just don’t really get it.”

“What is there to get? I’m a hypnotist.”

They could see the cogs working in her brain.

“You… don’t believe in hypnosis, do you?” They rolled their eyes. Familiar with non-believers, and idea came to mind.

“It’s just so fake! Of course people are going to go along with it, it would be embarrassing if they just told the hypnotist it didn’t work!” She laughed.

“Have you ever tried it?”

“Hypnosis? Of course not!”

They raised an eyebrow.

“Okay. Humour me then. Let me try and hypnotise you.”

“Oh, you’re on! Go ahead. You have my full permission.” She crossed her arms proudly.

The hypnotist pulled a pocket watch from their jacket pocket.

“Okay, this is a little cliche even for me.”

The pocket watch dangled from its chain, and the subtle movement of the hypnotist’s hand translated into a slow ramping up of the watch’s back and forth sway.

It was a heavy watch, easy to follow with her eyes. Back and forth.

To give it a fair shot she tried to keep her mind blank from thoughts about how stupid she looked following the clock with her eyes.

“Yes. Continue to follow the watch.” The hypnotist said.

She did. Fair shot and all that. She followed and continued to listen as the hypnotist said all of the standard lines she expected.

“You’re feeling very sleepy.” Of course I am, you’re boring me to tears.

“Your eyes are so heavy.” Yeah, maybe if you weren’t giving me an eye test they’d be lighter.

“You feel oh so relaxed.” Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know this menial was meant to stress me out.

It continued on for a while, and honestly? She kind of zoned out from all the talking.

And then they snapped their fingers.

“You’re in a trance.”

She laughed on the inside. Yeah, no, she wasn’t in a trance.

“How are you feeling?” They asked.

“So good and obedient.” She answered honestly, not fully hearing her words.

“That’s great to hear, doll. And how do you feel when I say the word Mindless?”

How did she feel? It took her a moment to think. It was like she was drawing a blank. Her mouth hung open. Man, I really need to go to bed early if I’m this tired already…

“Good. Good.” They hummed happily. Proudly, even. She wondered what the praise was for, considering she hadn’t even answered the question.

“Okay, doll. I want you to get down onto your knees.”

Her feet were sore, so she kneeled down instantly. Looking up at the hypnotist through her bangs she found she couldn’t take her eyes off of them.

Of course, that was only because they were attractive.

No other reason.

“Okay, okay, let’s wake you up now.” They said, laughing.

SNAP

Her feet were no longer aching. The pleasant sleepy feeling had disappeared. She stood up.

“Now do you believe me?”

She laughed.

“I told you. It’s so fake.” She turned to walk away, grinning ear to ear.

“Of course it is… until next time, doll.”

[rhenuvee]

On Thin Ice [Figureskater!Kaeya x reader]

A/N: Based on this post here! // Sorry for inactivity and lack of fics! School had me STRESSED which is why I've been so busy.

Warnings: I have never figure skated (don't come after me figure skaters), flirty Kaeya

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4:42pm

Perfect, is what you think to yourself when you see that time displayed on the giant clock above the empty rink. You don't even go to the change room, instead going to the nearest spot on the bleachers and sitting down to tie the rental ice skates you got.

Once you lace up the skates, you walk in a clunky way towards the rink entrance, stumbling a little while occasionally holding onto whatever you could grab near you. A little more than fifteen minutes should be enough for-

"Hey there~"

You're suddenly greeted by a figure who seemed to have spawned out of nowhere- you swear you don't remember seeing anyone on the ice. And if you saw a guy as handsome as this stranger, you'd certainly remember.

Said stranger briefly waved his two fingers to the side as a way to say "hi", then quickly returned to rest under his chin, as if he was curiously finding out who you were. His hair was a dark blue, tied in an attempted loop, but his hair was too long and just ended up falling over his shoulder. His outfit was very form fitting that you could see the outline of his collarbones.

But the worst part was probably that handsome smile of his. The corners of his lips were slightly upturned- it could almost be a smirk. The little glint in his eyes didn't help either. You had a feeling this was going to lead to trouble.

"Hi...?" you say awkwardly. You were cautious on what to say next.

"I regret to inform you but you do know it's still practice time for us figure skaters, no?" Your body freezes in embarrassment. It was even worse that this handsome guy probably thought of how clumsy you were.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't know, I thought it was ok for the public because the lady at the front allowed me to come in and-"

"Whoa slow down, it's no big deal really." The dark blue-haired male put his hands up as if to give a signal to stop. He suddenly then holds his hand out, "I'm Kaeya." He starts an introduction to ease things with you. You in return, bring your hand to shake his.

"(Y/n)." you say, while your heart slows down its beating.

"So, what brings you here early, (Y/n)? Eager to skate?" he slightly teases at the fact that you were early to the real public skating time. You sigh, deciding to tell him. You probably weren't going to make this mistake again. This will be the last time you embarrass yourself in front of a hot guy.

"I'm going skating with my friends but the truth is, I don't know how to skate." Your friends asked you to participate in this winter activity while you never skated in your life before. When you complained they said "You'll be fine!" as a claim to reassure you and convince you to come. When you say these words, the corner of Kaeya's mouth quirks upwards, emphasizing the glint in his eyes.

"Oh? You don't know how to skate?" he asks. "Well it's easy." He then leaves the edge of the rink to push himself off and skate off, going backwards and purposely doing a little spin for you. Showoff.

"Easy for you to say, Mr. Professional." you groan as he skates his way back to you, stopping elegantly with ease. He laughs a little at your sarcasm.

"I could teach you." he offers. Kaeya glances at the clock, now reading 4:50. "It'll be quick, and I've been told I'm a good teacher."

You glance at the clock as well, seeing you had about ten minutes before your friends and other people would come into the arena. You figured if he was offering, this should be fine, right?

"If you say so... Just for a little bit though." You say a little panicked. It was almost time and you were hoping Kaeya got the message you just wanted to get the hang of 'walking' on ice, and then you'd be good. He smiles, then offers you his hand to take your first step on the ice.

You stumble onto the ice- both of you letting out a 'woah', then steadying yourself with his guidance. You laugh awkwardly, and so does he. Except Kaeya doesn't seem fazed at all. You slowly start to learn that Kaeya just naturally exudes this "naturally-cool person" aura.

"We'll take it slow, 'kay?" he aays to reassure you. "Try walking in little steps and push off the ice. You can hold my hands if you want to."

Your heart is suddenly aware of the double meaning in that last sentence. Your eyes look up, but end up only seeing Kaeya's expression with just a regular smile. You can't seem to read him, because you swore his tone was a little different... But you decide to let it go, since it'd be silly. This is just a skating lesson, right?

You start taking your first steps like a toddler learning to walk- a little unsteady. But ever so often you find yourself randomly losing balance.

"-Kaeya!" you shriek in a moment of panic, one hand grabbing onto the wall nearby and the other with his arm holding you.

"It's alright, I've got you." he says stabilizing you. "Bend your knees a little when you skate, that should give you more stability."

You follow his directions while not fully letting go of his hand, his fingertips lightly holding yours. After a few minutes of readjusting yourself to get acquainted with the rink, you make a bit of progress, finally grasping how to walk... even if it is still a bit slow and wobbly.

Kaeya acknowledges this and applauds for you with a smile.

"There we go, now you're ready to do more difficult things, yes? How about this~" He leaves you for a brief moment, giving a little elegant spon. You roll your eyes, knowing he's just teasing.

"Yes of course." you say sarcastically, which he chuckles at.

"Okay, let's try stopping now." He skates to a short distance away from you then faces back towards you. "Skate towards me, then stop by pushing your legs out into a V-shape like this." He demonstrates the basic stopping technique for you, then signals you to start.

You start taking your steps on the ice, you gain a steady pace before you decide to try stopping. Except you don’t come to a complete stop… You push your feet out and you slow down but it’s not enough.

“Whoa there…” Kaeya’s voice sounds closer than you thought. When you look up you’re met with his dark blue eyes. You realize your attempt to stop has clearly failed, as you end up right in front of Kaeya who gives you a wink and devilish smile. “Take me out to dinner first, sweetheart.”

Your face instantly warms up as you fall victim to his remarks. You internally tell yourself that this is probably normal for him since he’s keeping up these shenanigans.

“Kaeya- ah!” You try to recover and conceal your reaction by pushing him away, but it instead pushes yourself away, making you almost lose balance. But Kaeya’s quick, and he catches your hand in time to support you back. He chuckles while hiding his laughter behind his hand.

“Sorry for teasing you. It’s kind of fun seeing your reaction, you’re quite cute you know that?”

His statement catches you off guard. One after the other, more surprises keep coming your way, and you are kind of doubting this one… There’s no way someone like him found you cute, right??

Before you could think of a response, another voice cuts in.

“Having fun, Kaeya?”

You both turn to look behind Kaeya, where there were two men standing outside the rink on the other side of the glass. They both had blonde hair and blue eyes- though the one who spoke was taller, while the other had more of a platinum blonde and slightly longer hair.

“Ah- Dainsleif… how long have you been here? I thought you went home already.” You watch as Kaeya seems really good at masking his emotions, giving a smile to ‘Dainsleif’ as he interrupted.

“I’ve been here since you called yourself ‘a good teacher’,” Dainsleif says sarcastically. Kaeya internally sweat-drops at this. “A good teacher should know your practice time was done thirty minutes ago.”

“Right, my mistake.”

Dainsleif turns to leave, with the other guy not really paying any mind and giving Kaeya a smile and a wave goodbye. Kaeya waves back sheepishly, then breathes out a sigh of relief turning back to you.

“Sorry about that. That was my instructor…”

“It’s okay.” You reply. You get the feeling that Dainsleif was the stern type, making him quite scary.

“As much as I’d like to continue, he’s right. My practice time ended already.” As he says this you realize the time is 5:00, which meant it was the public skate time. You can’t help but feel that fifteen minutes with him went by too quickly… "And you're going skating with your friends, right?"

“You were a great teacher, thank you.” He only helped with skating and stopping but you figured it was better than looking like a noob with the skating walker.

“Well I’m glad one person thinks so.” He jokes. You both giggle as he leads you to the entrance of the rink again. There are a few people starting to come in.

You and Kaeya carefully step out of the rink. He starts untying the laces while you sit beside him, leaving yours on for later. You both sit in a comfortable silence for a bit. While he packs up, you're unsure of what to say- or if you even should say anything. Your frantic thinking goes on for a bit longer than you expected, as you realize Kaeya was finished and was ready to leave.

Where exactly do you go from here? He was just a stranger you met who was gracious enough to teach you some skating basics. You were hoping the butterflies he gave you in your brief time with him, wasn't just for fun. Your heartbeats slow down, thinking you've lost your opportunity.

"W-wait..."

Your heart acts before your head could stop you. Kaeya hears what you said, and you suddenly panic, not even knowing what you want to say

"You... haven't taught me how to get up if I fall on the ice." you stammer, trying to save yourself. Kaeya seems to buy it as his face looks as if he's giving it some thought. "I mean- It's okay though! I know you have to leave, and it's time for me as well..."

"You're right..." There is a short pause. You can't help but feel that there were some gears turning in his head. He then puts his hand in his pocket, retrieving his phone, swiping on it a few times and handing it facing you. "Guess you'll have to come back for another lesson, right?"

Your eyes widen as you read what's on his screen- the contact screen, the empty space with the little line blinking straight at you. You look back at him. He was smiling, but his expression seemed softer from the way the corners of his eyes curved down.

“Really...?” You ask cautiously. You hoped that he was talking about the same thing. He nods, his smile still prominent.

"I wasn’t kidding about dinner either, by the way.” You almost choke on your own saliva with how forward he is. "Were you kidding about it?"

"No- well I mean yes- I didn't mean to bump into you like that! You were poking at me!" It's hard for you to keep a deadpan expression towards him while feeling your cheeks getting warmer. You enter in your number in his phone.

"You're on thin ice, Kaeya. But you're lucky that you know a thing or two about ice." He laughs, as he can appreciate the joke. You finish putting your number in his phone.

"I am, aren't I?"

As you waved and said your goodbyes, you couldn't stop the smile forming on your face, knowing there would be a next time with Kaeya.

➽────────────❥

[bree-cheesy]

Love With Tragedy

This is my first fic, please bare with me 😭😭😭 I’M SO SORRY IF IT’S HORRIBLE!!!! I wrote this on a google doc and copy and pasted it to Tumblr sooooooo......

Credit to @edwardmunsen​ for the gif

Eddie Munson! x Henderson!Fem Reader!

Warnings!!: Light Smut so 18+ only!! (Kissing, pussy eating, fingering, hickeys) Hell of a lot of angst, L-Bombs, Fem pronouns used, Y/N is used quite a lot... I’M SORRY. If you read this (Which I’m not expecting anyone to) please tell me if I missed anything!!!! Not proofread. Way to lazy to go through and do that. I’m not a good writer so go easy on me.....

Word Count: 9,880

______________________________________________________________

Y/N Henderson. Dustin Henderson’s older sister. She just went to work, did her cheer for the school and stayed home. She was a part of the whole mall thing that happened last year. She got dragged into it by Dustin when she went to the mall with him and got trapped with him, Steve, Robin, and Erica. She’s had to go to therapy because of it. She couldn’t get the things she witnessed out of her mind. She had nightmares all the time because of it. She never saw Dustin anymore. He was always at school or doing things with his friends. Now that he was a part of the Hellfire Club, she saw him maybe once a week. She loved him, obviously, but she just missed having him around. It was late at night. She needed to pick Dustin up. She was supposed to be at the assembly, but she didn’t want to go. She sighed and stood up. She grabbed her car keys and drove to the school. They were having a club meeting or something that night. She got to the school, parked, and got out of the car. She leaned against the back of it and saw tons of people walking out of the school. She waited and saw a group of kids shouting and cheering. She smiled a little. She knew Dustin was in the group. It took him 15 minutes to say his goodbyes and walk over. He snatched the car keys from her.

“Ah, ah,” She held her hand out. “What do you think you’re doing?” “Oh come on! Just this once!” “I’m not leaving and you can stand here in front of your friends embarrassing yourself.” “You’re so mean.” He gives her keys back.

“That’s what I thought.” Flicks his nose.

An older kid in his group with long curly black hair was staring at the interaction. She glanced at him for a moment. He looked familiar to her. They drive home and she turns in for the night.

She was running. Running fast. Loud growls and screeches sounded through her ears. She was running towards a doorway. An open doorway. Dustin, Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, Mike, Will, Lucas, Robin, El, Max, Hopper, Joyce. All of them were standing there. They were calling out to her. She looked over her shoulder and gasped. It was chasing her. She started running faster. Distorted screaming. Her feet hurt. She couldn’t breathe. She tripped. She fell to the ground with a loud thud and groaned. She flipped around and turned backwards. It was getting up to her. Its long limb thing snaked out and grabbed her foot. It started pulling her. It was pulling fast. She screamed. She flipped around on her stomach and saw the group running towards her.

“Dustin!!!!”

And it went dark.

She shot up in bed and breathed heavily. She panted and ran a hand through her hair. She slowly calmed down and let out a shaky breath. She rubbed her hands over her face and sniffled. She laid back down and stared at the ceiling. She heard a voice.

“Y/N……” Ominous ticking. A clock? She got up and walked out of her room. She gasped. She was back in the mall. Only it was…. Destroyed. She walked over to a bright red light in the middle of the rubble. She ran her hand through it. It felt weird. She heard the ticking again. She looked to her left and saw a huge grandfather clock. It was cracked. She walked closer to it. She got a sick feeling. She felt something wrap around her foot. She looked down and didn’t see anything. She still felt it. She gasped heavily suddenly. She was back in her room. She was standing next to her bed. She started crying. She sank to the floor and sobbed into her hands.

The next day, she was home watching the news. A Hawkins High student found dead. In the Munson’s Trailer. Munson. That sounded familiar to her. She shook it off. Later into the day, the door swung open and Dustin ran in with Max.

“We have to go. Come on!” “What?” She looked at him.

“This is a life or death matter, come on!” “Uhm, okay.” She followed him outside and saw Steve’s car. Steve and Robin were inside it. She got in with the other two. Max was squished in the back with her and Dustin.

“So, where are we going?” “We’re finding Eddie.” Dustin said.

“Eddie?” “Eddie Munson.” The name clicked.

“Oh, the leader of that club thing you’re in?” “It’s a D&D club. How many times do I have to explain this?”

“I’m sorry, I forgot. But, wasn’t some kid just found dead at the Munson’s trailer?”

“Yeah, and they think Eddie did it.”

“I know, Eddie. He wouldn’t do this. He’s a sweet guy. He helped me a lot in Biology Junior year.”

“Yeah, we know he didn’t do it.” Dustin mumbled.

They drove further into the woods to a house. He wasn’t in the house, but there was a cabin type thing in the back. They walked in and looked around. She saw Steve grab a boat oar and start jabbing it into a tarp that was in the boat.

“What are you doing?” Dustin gasped. “What are you doing?” “He might be in here.” Steve exclaimed.

“So take the tarp off!”

“If you’re so brave, you take the tarp off.”

Floorboards creaked under their feet and they looked around more. Max spoke up. “Hey, look over here.” She rifled through some food wrappers. “Someone was here.” “Maybe he heard us. Got spooked and ran.”

“Don’t worry, Steve will get him with his oar.”

“I know you think you’re being funny, Henderson, but considering that everyone in this room has nearly died a thousand times, personally, I don’t find it funny in the slight-” Suddenly the tarp flew up and Steve was slammed up against the wall. It was Eddie. He was holding a broken beer bottle to Steve’s throat. Y/N gasped loudly.

“Eddie! Eddie!” He looked at Dustin.

“It's me! It’s Dustin! This is Steve! He’s not gonna hurt you, right Steve?” “Right. Yeah.” “Steve, why don’t you drop the oar?”

Steve dropped the oar and Eddie pushed the bottle more against Steve’s throat.

“He's cool! He’s cool!”

“I’m cool, man. I’m cool.”

“What are you doing here?” Eddie’s voice sounded scared.

“We’re looking for you.”

He looked at Y/N and she gave him an encouraging smile.

“We’re here to help.” Robin interjected.

“Eddie, these are my friends. You know Robin, from band!” Robin made trumpet noises and made a hand signal. “This is my friend Max. The one who never wants to play D&D.” She just waves. “And my sister! Y/N, you’ve met her.”

“Remember? Mrs Janice in Biology last year?” Eddie just nodded.

“Eddie, we’re on your side. I swear on my mother!”

“Hey, woah, heh, what? Look, I know he didn’t do anything, but that’s a little far.” Y/N interjected.

“Right guys?”

“Yes, Yes. We swear.”

“O-On, Dustin’s mother.”

“On my mother.” Y/N sighed.

“Yeah, Dustin’s….. Dustin’s mother.”

Eddie let’s go of Steve after a few seconds. He sits on the floor. Dustin approaches him.

“Eddie….. We just want to talk.”

Dustin tries to take the broken bottle, but Eddie yanks it back. Robin kneeled down next to them.

“You won’t believe me…” His voice cracked.

Max shrugged.

“Try us.”

Eddie looked at her weird.

(Few minutes later)

“Her body, just, like lifted up into the air and, uh….. And she just like, hung there. In the air. And her bones, uh…… her bones started to snap. Her eyes man, it was like, it was like there was something inside her head, like pulling. I didn’t know what to do, so I just….. Ran away. I left her there. You all think I’m crazy, don’t you?” “No, we don’t think you’re crazy at all-”

“Don’t bullshit me, man! I know how this sounds!”

“We’re not bullshitting you.” Max said.

“We believe you.”

Eddie exhales.

“Look, what I’m about to tell you, might be a little….. Difficult to take.”

“Uh, okay.”

Y/N nervously chewed on her lip.

“You know how people say Hawkins is….. Cursed?” Eddie looks at him. “They’re not….. Way off.” Y/N lets out a shaky breath. “There’s another world. A world hidden beneath Hawkins. Sometimes, it bleeds into ours.” “Like ghosts and shit?”

“There are some things worse than ghosts.”

“There are monsters from this other world….. We thought they were gone. But, they’ve come back before. And that’s why we needed to find you.” “If they’re back again, we need to know.”

“That night, did you see anything?”

“Dark particles maybe?”

Eddie shook his head.

“It would almost look like dust, swirling dust.” “No, man, there was nothing you could see or, uh…. or touch.” Eddie swallowed hard. “You know I tried to wake her, man. She couldn’t move. It was like she…. She was in a trance or something.” “Like a spell.” “Or a curse.” “Vecna’s Curse.” “Whos’ Vecna?”

“An undead creature of great power.” “A spell caster.” “A dark wizard.”

Y/N gulped nervously. Robin gave Y/N a piece of gum to distract her. After explaining more, Dustin stood up.

“Y/N, you’re staying here with him until further notice. We will leave a walkie. The rest of us are going to try and figure out what the hell is going on.” Dustin pointed at her.

Y/N nodded. Eddie was still huddled against the wall.

“I’m gonna go to the store. Just buy some things to tide us over for a little while.” Y/N mumbled.

“Okay, we’ll drop you off at home so you can get your car.” Dustin said.

“You cool being alone for a little bit, Eddie?” Robin asked.

He just nodded. They all left. Y/N changed out of her cheer uniform before leaving. She drove to the store and bought a bunch of things. Bottles of water, Yoo Hoo’s, different types of cereal, etc. She drove back up to the cabin, making sure to hide her car. She grabbed all the bags, struggled a little and walked to the cabin. She managed to get the door open.

“Hey, Eddie, it’s me…” She kept her voice kinda quiet.

She set the bags down on a table and saw him asleep in the boat. She put stuff in the fridge there and left the rest on the table. She yawned and sat down on the ground. She took her shoes off and pulled her Hawkin’s jacket on. It was freezing. She curled up on the floor and fell asleep pretty fast. Surprisingly, there wasn’t a nightmare that night. She woke up the next morning. She was woken up by footsteps. She froze and peeked an eye open. She let out a breath. It was just Eddie raiding the food. She sat up and stretched her arms above her head, yawning. Eddie jumped a little and looked at her.

“So, what is one of Hawkin’s High’s beloved cheerleaders doing all wrapped up in this?”

“No good morning?”

Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Good morning.”

Y/N smiled at him.

“It’s a long story.”

“Believe me, I have time.”

Y/N sighs.

“Well, the whole fire in the mall was just a cover up. There were actually evil Russian scientists under the mall trying to get to the other world. The upside down as we call it because it’s our world, but….. Upside down. Giant monster destroyed the mall. We killed it. It almost killed me, fun fact.” Eddie’s eyebrows shot up. “Man, I kinda just said that very casually didn’t I?” “Uh, yeah.”

“Well, we killed it. Lost a few people. Uhm, yeah. Not to mention the girl that we rely on that has super powers, but those went bye bye and she lives in California now, sooooo.”

His eyebrows just stayed up and he looked even more confused.

“I’m sure Dustin and Steve will explain better whenever they come back.”

They went quiet and heard car doors shut. They both shot up. Eddie ran to the window, looking outside it. He didn’t see anyone.

“Shit….” They calmed down until the door opened. They both freaked out and Y/N grabbed a pipe off the floor. Dustin and the group walked in.

“Delivery Service!” Dustin was holding a few bags.

Y/N let out a breath and put the pipe down.

(A few minutes later) Eddie was sitting in the boat, scarfing down a box of honeycomb and drinking a bottle of Yoo Hoo.

“So we got uh, some good news and some bad news. How do you prefer it?” “Bad news first, always.” Some cereal fell out of his mouth.

“All right, bad news. We tapped into the Hawkins PD dispatch with our Cerebro, and they’re definitely looking for you. Also, they’re, uh, pretty convinced you killed Chrissy.” “Like, 100% kind of convinced.”

Eddie looked scared.

“And the good news?” “Your name hasn’t gone public yet. But, if we found out about you, it’s a matter of time before others do, too, and once that gets out, everyone and their shallow-minded mother is gonna be gunning for you.”

“Hunt the freak, right?”

“Exactly.” “Shit.”

“So before that happens, we find Venca, kill him, and prove your innocence.”

“That’s all Dustin, that’s all?”

“Yeah, no, that’s pretty much it.” “Listen, Eddie, I know everything Dustin is saying sounds totally delusional, but we’ve actually been through this before. I mean, they have a….. A few times, and…. And I have once. Mine was more human-flesh-based, theirs was more smoke-related, but the bottom line is, collectively, I really feel we got this.” Robin rambled.

“We usually rely on this girl who has super powers. But, uh, those went bye-bye, so….” Steve mumbled “So we’re technically in more of the--” Dustin cut himself off. “Kinda….” “Brainstorming phase.” Max blurted out.

“Brainstorming!” Steve snaps his fingers.

“There…. There’s nothing to worry about.” Dustin sputters.

Steve scoffs and nods. Suddenly there were police sirens. Everyone started to freak out.

“Tarp! Tarp, tarp!” Eddie got under the tarp and everyone else looked out the windows. Soon, the others in the group left to go see what was happening. Y/N stayed behind with Eddie. She was doodling on a piece of paper.

“So, what kinda music do you listen to?” Eddie looked at her from the boat.

“Oh, uh, nothing you would be into.” Y/N mumbled.

“Hmm, like, give me a general description.”

She pulls a cassette player and headphones out of the bag Dustin brought. She rifled through a few tapes and chose My Girl. She put it in and handed him the headphones. He put them on and she pressed play. She continued doodling on the paper while he listened to it. The song ended and he took the headphones off.

“That’s kinda what I expected.” She smiled.

“Yeah, I’m pretty easy to figure out.”

“It’s not really my thing, but impressive you found a tape of this song.” He handed the headphones and tape back.

“I have more older songs. All in this bag.”

He took the bag and looked inside it.

“Some newer stuff, too.”

He inspected the tapes. He picked one up and grinned. She read it and her eyes went wide. Eddie My Love.

“Damnit, I told him not to put that one in there!”

He snatched the player and headphones and started playing the song. He had a stupid smile on his face the whole time. She hid her face in embarrassment. When the song stopped he took the headphones off.

“Well, this has got to be awkward for you.”

“Yes, it’s very awkward.”

He finishes rifling through them and hands the bag and player back. She stood up.

“I’m gonna go for a walk and try and find something to liven up this place. It’s getting boring.”

He looked like he was starting to panic.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be gone long. I’m just gonna go find some flowers or something.” “What would you even put them in?” “Uh…..” Looks around and picks up an empty Yoo Hoo bottle. “Fill it with water from the lake.”

“Okay, whatever, just don’t be long.”

“I won’t.” She walks outside and starts down a path. She remembers the exact direction she goes. She picks a few flowers and some extras. She fills the bottle with water from the lake and walks back to the cabin. She puts them on the table.

“Tah da!” Eddie just looks at them. She frowns.

“You could at least pretend to like them.”

He just puts on a fake smile. She sighs, shakes her head, and sits back down on the floor to continue doodling on the piece of paper. Eddie frowns. She puts the headphones on and turns on a song. She could feel him staring at her. She glanced up at him a few times before pausing the song. She grabbed the walkie.

“Dustin?”

He took a second to respond. “Yeah?” “Is mom at work?” “Yeah, why?” “Because Eddie needs a shower. I can smell him from here.” “Hey!” Eddie exclaimed.

“She’s doing a book club after work with her lady friends. She shouldn’t be home until late. Just be careful.”

“We will.” She stands up.

“Come on. We gotta get there quick.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

They get in her car and he lays down in the back so people don’t see him. They stopped by his trailer first, luckily it wasn’t a crime scene so he could get a few changes of clothes. His uncle wasn’t there. They got to her house and they quickly got him inside without anyone seeing him. She showed him the bathroom and sat outside of it so she could hear if her mom came home early. She passed him some clothes and he walked out, his curly hair still wet. She probably stared a bit too long. She got up and quickly went into the bathroom. Eddie grinned at her flusteredness. She showered and heard him walk into her room. She let out a breath of relief. She didn’t need him looking around the house. She got out of the shower and pulled her clothes on. Mom jeans, and a green sleeveless cable net sweater vest. She hung her towel up and walked into her room. Eddie was looking through her bookshelf. She sat down at her vanity and started drying her hair. When she was finished, Eddie finally said something.

“Hey, I’m sorry if I made you upset earlier. I know you were just trying to be positive.” “It’s fine.” She put hand cream on. “Doesn’t matter.”

Eddie just decided to stay quiet. They soon left and went back to the cabin.

(2 weeks later)

Y/N and Eddie had gotten closer. Like way closer. Always laughing at something and making fun of each other. Y/N couldn’t help the feelings she started to develop for him. He was funny and charming. She had met plenty of charming men, but he was different. Those other men were loud, rough, and always trying to show her off. Eddie was different. He wasn’t pushy. He was gentle. He actually made her laugh. Today was already going well because he had agreed to let her put little flowers she found in his hair. His hair was thick enough that they would all stay in his hair. She was smiling and put the last one in.

“Ta da!” She put the small hand held mirror in front of him.

He smiled at himself in the mirror.

“I do look quite adorable.”

She adjusted a few and clapped her hands together.

“Dustin never let me do stuff like this to him.”

“Well, he’s missing out.” She giggled. It got later at night. She was sitting outside on the shoreline with Eddie. No one was on the lake so they were taking the opportunity to sit outside. Now that Y/N has kinda been “missing”, she was believed to be taken by Eddie. All according to Dustin. She had brought the tape player out and unplugged the headphones so they could both hear the songs. Eddie had grown a liking to the gentle love songs. He was still very much a metal head, but he didn’t have any of his music. Y/N was laying on the sand, looking up at the stars. At Last by Etta James started playing. Eddie stood up and held his hand out.

“Dance, m’lady?”

She smiled and blushed. She took his hand and he showed her how to slow dance.

“Eddie Munson knows how to slow dance?”

He laughed a little.

“Mmm, surprisingly yes.”

She laid her cheek on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck. He was a little caught by surprise, but hugged his arms around her waist. The song ended, and she was about to pull away, but Eddie pulled her in tighter. She gulped nervously. He tipped his head back to look at her and she looked at him. His eyes glanced at her lips a few times before she suddenly kissed him. He instantly kissed her back and cupped her face in his hands. The kiss got deeper and his arms went around her. He laid her down on the sand and got on top of her. They kissed more. She felt the bulge in his pants and moaned a little. He picked her up, along with the player and carried her back inside the boathouse. He laid her down in the boat and got back on top of her. He kissed down her neck and she moaned. “Eddie…..”

“Jesus, I’ve wanted this for weeks.” He kissed back up to her lips.

She wrapped her legs around him and kissed him back passionately. They suddenly stopped when they heard cars. Eddie got off her quickly and looked out the windows. “We need to get the boat out.”

They got the boat out and started rowing it. They got to the middle of the lake and Eddie started to try and turn on the engine. He let out strings of curses and hit it a few times. Y/N looked over and saw two familiar people swimming towards them. Jason and Patrick. “Uh, Eddie…?” Eddie looked up and started cursing more. He rowed faster. Jason was gaining on them quickly, but stopped when Patrick stopped. He was yelling something at Patrick and started swimming again. He turned to Patrick again and they all let out screams. Patrick was thrown into the air.

“Not again!” Eddie backed up to the end of the boat she was at and she held onto him.

His bones snapped, making him look disfigured.

“We gotta jump.” Eddie whispered.

“What?”

“Into the water!”

Eddie got up and dove in. Y/N stood up and made eye contact with Jason.

“Y/N?”

She looked at Eddie. “I’ll catch you, just jump.”

Jason was starting to get on the boat. She jumped and Eddie, truth to his word, caught her. He started swimming surprisingly fast while carrying her. Jason was just staring at her in disbelief. She buried her face in his neck and they eventually got to the shoreline. Eddie was still carrying her. Neither of them could afford either of them lagging behind. They heard distant sirens, but were too far out for anyone to find them. They stopped at Skull Rock. Eddie set her down and she sagged against the rock.

“I’m gonna be wanted by the police now. Not just for being missing.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. You never should’ve been dragged into this shit. It’s your shit head little brother. It’s his fault.”

“Dustin didn’t know this would happen. We can’t be mad at him.”

She shivered a little. He took his leather jacket off and gave it to her. She put it on and hugged it around her. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.

“There’s a construction site not too far from here. In the morning I’ll see if I can get one of the worker’s walkies so we can try and contact Dustin.”

She nodded and sat down on the ground, pulling her knees up against her chest.

“Get some rest. You need it.”

She just stared at the ground.

“Y/N.” She looked up at him.

“Go to sleep. At least try. We’re not gonna be any help if we’re sleep deprived.” He sat down next to her.

She just nodded. He didn’t know if it was appropriate to comfort her so he just kept his hands together in front of him. She let out a breath and snuggled up to him. Her eyes were still wide and staring at the ground. She laid her head in his lap and curled into a ball. He put his hand on her arm and his fingers ran through her hair. She slowly shut her eyes and started dozing off. She let out soft snores and little whines every now and then. He fell asleep soon enough as well.

(The next morning)

Eddie successfully took one of their walkies and was trying to contact Dustin.

“Dustin, can you hear me? Wheeler? Anybody?!”

“Eddie. Holy shit, are you okay?” Y/N let out a breath and Eddie shook his head and rubbed his forehead

“Nah, man. Pretty…… Pretty goddamn far from okay.” “Where are you? Is Y/N with you?”

“Skull Rock. Do you know it? And yes, Y/N is with me.”

“Uh, yeah. That’s near Cornwallis and--”

“Garrett, yeah. I know where that is.” Steve interjected.

“Hold tight. We’re coming. We’re coming.”

Eddie nodded and let out a breath. He set the walkie down and covered his face with his hands. Y/N looked across from where she was sitting and at him. He tipped his head back against the rock.

“We can’t tell Dustin what happened between us. He’d freak out.”

He nodded.

“I know.” She nervously chewed on her lip.

“Are we going to talk about it?”

Y/N looked down at her hands. His face fell and he nodded.

“I get it. Heat of the moment. Meant nothing. Got it.”

“No, Eddie, that’s not-” “Y/N, I get it. You regret making out with the freak. I understand.” “You’re not a freak, Eddie.”

He stands up, frustrated.

“Oh? I’m not? Then explain why I’ve been called that almost my whole life.” “Stupid people called you that because they didn’t know anything about you. You’re the furthest thing from a freak.”

“I’ve been held back for 2 years. I’m 20 years old and still in highschool.” “So? That doesn’t make you a freak!” “THEN WHAT DOES IT MAKE ME!?” He shouted.

She went quiet. He groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. She pulled her knees up to her chest and looked away from him. She just stared at some trees.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled.” His voice was quiet and gentle.

She didn’t respond and she noticed he climbed up a tree. She just ignored him. An hour later, she heard voices. She hid behind the rock.

“Oh boom. Bada bing, bada boom. There she is Henderson. Skull Rock. In your face, man. In your stupid, cocky little face.” “Doesn’t make sense.” “Yeah, yeah. Even with it staring you in the face, you can’t admit it. Can’t admit you’re wrong, you little butthead.”

Eddie jumps down from something and they turn around fast to look at him.

“I conquer. You, Dustin Henderson, are a….. Total butthead.”

“Jesus, we thought you were a goner!” Dustin hugs him, catching him by surprise. “Yeah, me too, man. Me too.”

Steve nods at him.

“Where’s Y/N?” Dustin asked.

Y/N peeked from behind the rock and let out a breath.

“God, you guys arguing scared the shit outta me.” Y/N walked over.

Dustin almost tackled her to the ground.

“Jesus, christ!” Y/N exclaimed, trying to keep balance.

A few minutes later….

“When I got to the shore, I tried calling you guys, but, uh…..” He took a swig of his flask. “My walkie was busted, man. Drenched. So, uh, I did the thing that I do now, apparently. I ran.” He chuckled.

“Do you know what time this was? The attack?”

“Yeah, no, I….. I know exactly what time it was. My walkie wasn’t the only thing that got soaked.” He waved his watch in the air and threw it at Nancy. “9:27.” “Same time our flashlights went kablooey.” “Which means what, exactly?”

“That that surge of energy was Vecna attacking Patrick.”

“Well, we’re one step closer. We know how Vecna attacks.”

“And where he attacks from.”

“So now we just need to sneak into his lair in the Upside Down and drive a stake through his heart.”

“If he even has a heart.” “A stake? Is he like a vamp? Is he a vampire?”” It was a metaphor.” “A bullet should work on him, right?” “I say we chop his head off.”

Y/N pulls Eddie’s jacket around her more.

“I’d say all of the above, but we can’t do any of that, til we find a way into the Upside Down.”

“We need El to get her powers back.” “Everything was way easier. We had this girl. She had superpowers.”

“Superpowers. Yeah, you mentioned her.” Eddie looked at Dustin. “Hey, uh, Henderson’s not, uh, cursed, is he?” “Cursed? No, no. He’s fine. Mental? Absolutely.” “Imagine living with him.” Y/N mumbled.

Dustin waved his arms and shouted.

“Boom!” It echoed and he pointed at Steve. “Bada… bada… boom. I was right. Skull Rock was north.”

“Seriously? You’re serious?” “Mm-hmm.”

“This is Skull Rock. Okay?” “Mm-hmm.” “You’re totally, absolutely, 100% wrong. Right now.” “Yes. And no.”

“Oh, my god.”

“This compass worked correctly when we left the Wheelers. It was correct when we got in the car on Curly. But, it started to slip the further east we went. Now, it’s way off. When I was leading us here, I wasn’t wrong. The compass was.”

“So you’re using faulty equipment. Dude, you’re still wrong.”

“Except it isn’t faulty. Lucas, remember what can affect a compass?” “An electromagnetic field.” “Yep.” “Sorry, I must’ve skipped that class.”

“In the presence of a stronger electromagnetic field, the needle will deflect towards that power. So either there’s some super big magnet around here, or…..” “There’s a gate.” Lucas finished his sentence.

“But, we’re nowhere near the lab.”

“But what if, somehow, there’s another gate? A gate that we don’t know about. It’d have to be smaller. Way less powerful.” “Snack-size gate.”

“How? Why?”

“No idea. All I know is that something is causing this disturbance, and the last we’ve seen anything like it, it was a gate. And I hope it is because then we’d have a way to Vecna. And a shot at freeing Max from this curse.” “Where are you going? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Eddie’s still a wanted man. We can’t just go for a hike in the woods.” “This little steel capsule might be the key to saving both Max and Eddie. What say you, Eddie the Banished?”

“I say you’re asking me to follow you into Mordor, which, if I'm totally straight with you, I think it’s a really bad idea. But, uh, the Shire…. The Shire is burning.” Dustin started jumping and Eddie stood up. “So Mordor it is.”

Everyone started walking.

“What is Mordor?” Eddie suddenly went back to grab his stuff.

“Get your stuff dude. Let’s go.”

Y/N trailed behind the group. She heard the distant clock ticking. Just like Max kept describing. She shook it off and kept following. She was kinda lagging behind. They eventually get back to the lake when it’s dark. Dustin’s compass is still freaking out. “Something’s happening…” “Dustin? Can you slow down? Dustin?”

“I think we’re getting close!” They get to the shore.

“Watch your step, big guy.”

“Oh, man. You gotta be shitting me.” Steve cursed.

“Yeah, I thought these woods were familiar.” “Lover’s Lake.” Robin said in awe.

“This is confounding.”

“There’s a gate in Lover’s Lake?” Max asked.

“Whenever the Demogorgon attacked, it always left an opening. Maybe Vecna’s the same way.” “Yeah, only one way to find out.”

They get the boat. “Easy. I…. I said easy, man.” “Sorry, dude.”

Robin grabbed their heads and stepped onto the boat. Nancy got on the boat. Y/N took Eddie’s offered hand and he helped her on the boat. Robin gave her a look and grinned. Dustin tried to get on, but Eddie pushed him back. “Trying to sink us? This boat holds 4 people, tops.”

Nancy got Dustin to stay. Steve got on the boat and Dustin scoffed.

“You said 4 people.”

“Sorry….” They rowed off into the lake. Y/N was sitting next to Eddie. They agreed Steve would go into the lake. He dove in and they all sat in silence waiting for him. He suddenly popped up after a long time, splashing them. Eddie let out a curse. Steve was explaining what he saw and suddenly was dragged under by something.

“Steve!” Nancy and Robin shouted.

They both wasted no time and jumped in after him. Eddie was panicking and Y/N stood up.

“Y/N, no, what are you doing?” She dove in. Soon enough, she was back there. The Upside down. Red thunder, screeching. Just like her nightmares. She ran over to the girls who were helping Steve fight off bat looking things. She grabbed one of the oars and started beating one up. She got bit by one and let out a shout. It managed to lift her in the air and she started wrestling around with it. Everyone was freaking out.

“Get off me, you son of a bitch!” She kicked it and started falling.

Eddie caught her in time and she let out a breath.

“Y/N!” Robin threw her a hairspray can.

Y/N grinned. Robin lit the lighter she had and Y/N sprayed the flame. The bats screeched and flew from the fire, in turn, flew away from Steve and Nancy. She stopped spraying when they all went away. Robin gave her the lighter and she put it in her pocket. She breathed heavily. They all agreed to go to Nancy’s to get her guns. As usual, she stayed a little behind the group. Eddie was talking to Steve and Robin was talking to Nancy. When it seemed Eddie was done with Steve he stopped walking until Y/N caught up with him.

“That was pretty badass back there.”

“Huh?” “The fire thing.” “Oh, uh, thanks.”

They were quiet for a minute.

“Look, I know we kinda had a fight and I was completely in the wrong for it.” She just glanced at him and shoved her hands in her pockets.

“I really like you, Y/N. Like, a lot. Like, never felt this a lot. And, I don’t want to be the reason it ended before it even started. I know I messed up. I was stressed out and you were just trying to help-” She interrupted him by grabbing his hand and threading her fingers with his.

“No more talking.” He just nodded and they kept walking. They got to Nancy’s house. She was freaking out. Everything was stuck 2 years in the past. They found a way to communicate with Dustin. They found a way out. Robin climbed the sheet rope thing and fell on the mattress landing pad Dustin had put down. Eddie went next. Then Y/N. She hit the mattress and Eddie helped her up.

(I refuse to go in the ST4 timeline CORRECTLY from here.)

Steve and Nancy went. They found a way to kill Vecna and did so. Eddie and Y/N’s name were cleared. Y/N was still reeling from the events. All the progress in her mental health dissipated. She almost didn’t graduate this year, but Eddie helped her because he was determined to graduate. Eddie was pretty badly hurt in the upside down. The bats got to him and almost tore him up, but they got him help in time. She also found his guitar solo to distract the bats pretty fucking sexy. She almost lost the person who had become her whole world.

(In the upside down while Eddie was close to bleeding out.) Eddie was in Y/N’s arms while Dustin used scraps of fabric to tie up his wounds. Eddie coughed and groaned in pain. Dustin figured there was something going on between them, but didn’t say anything.

“I think this is finally my year. sweetheart.” Eddie choked.

“Yeah, yeah, it is. I promise.” Y/N put a hand on his cheek and he leaned into it.

“Who knows if they’ll let me graduate-” He let out a groan when Dustin tightened a scrap of fabric. “I’m a wanted man, ya know. You kissed a criminal.”

“Don’t worry about that right now.”

“You look really pretty right now, doll.” She let out a wet laugh, given she was still crying, and Dustin groaned.

“Ew….”

Eddie chuckled and she felt him hold her hand, intertwining his fingers with her. Dustin chose to ignore it.

A little later, Steve, Nancy, and Robin all helped Get Eddie back to the normal world safely. They got him to a hospital. Despite at that time being a wanted felon, the staff still helped him. Dustin and Steve were working on getting his and Y/N’s names cleared. Meaning they had to convince everyone that the Upside Down actually existed. Eddie was still passed out from his surgery. Y/N was visiting. She had been there when he first got there, but his Uncle sent her home so she could get some much needed sleep. She walked into his hospital room and saw Wayne reading a book to him at his bedside. Lord of The Rings. Eddie’s favorite. She smiled and leaned against the wall watching them. He looked up and saw her. He smiled a little and finished the Chapter he was on. He stood up.

“Well, I’ll give you two some alone time.” He put a hand on her shoulder before walking out.

She sat down where he was sitting before and curled her knees up to her chest. He had breathing tubes and was breathing steadily, still asleep. They hadn’t really made up, but she was going to talk to him about it when he felt better. She heard slight groaning and looked over. He was waking up. She sat up a little and his eyes opened slowly. She smiled at him.

“Welcome back, big guy.”

He groaned and pressed the palm of his hand against his forehead.

“Jesus, christ….”

She sat normally and he sat up a little, grunting. She smiled softly at him and he looked at her a little surprised.

“What are you doing here? What am I doing here?”

“You don’t remember?” “Well….. Yes, I do, but I just assumed when everything went dark….. I died.” Her lip quivered suddenly.

“Don’t say that….” “Shit, I’m sorry, sweetheart.” She felt her heart melt at the pet name a little. She curled her knees back up to her chest and laid her chin on top of her knees. He looked down at her hands.

“Your Uncle’s here by the way.” She took something she was wearing off.

It was his guitar pick necklace. He took it.

“I figured you’d be pretty sad without it.”

“My necklace shouldn’t have been your priority.”

“Well…. I wasn’t sure you’d make it so I wanted…..”

“Wanted what?”

“I don’t know…. A piece of you….. I guess.”

He smiled a little.

“Don’t think I’m getting all soft on you.”

He grabbed her hand and gently kissed the top of it. She teared up a little.

“What happened to my happy girl? I miss getting all happy about putting flowers in my hair, Y/N.”

She sighed.

“I’m just worried.”

“Hey, look, I’m okay. Everything’s okay.”

She sniffled and blinked the tears away. She smiled a little.

“Yeah, I know.”

The door opened and Wayne walked back in with a coffee cup.

“Hey, look who's awake!” Wayne smiled big.

Eddie smiled.

“Hey.”

Wayne hugged him. Y/N excused herself when his bandmates came and she left. She updated everyone in the group on Eddie.

(A few weeks later) It was graduation. Y/N, Nancy, Robin, and Eddie were all graduating. Y/N and Eddie still hadn’t decided if they were going to become official or not. They still hadn’t told Dustin anything even though Dustin already knew something happened between them. Robin walked first. Then Y/N. Then Eddie. Then Nancy. When they were excused, she found the group. Eddie had his polaroid camera. He was taking pictures of everyone. He had ended up giving the camera to Dustin because everyone wanted him in some of the pictures. Dustin and Y/N’s mom were bossing the two around to pose like they liked each other so they could get some pictures. She posed with everyone in the group.

“Hey guys.” Everyone stopped when they heard a familiar voice. They turned around and saw Jonathan, Mike, Will, El, and another guy no one recognized. Jonathan hugged Nancy tight. El was talking with Max. Mike and Will were talking to Dustin and Lucas. Steve was with Robin talking to the new guy they soon found out was named Argyle. Y/N was looking at some pictures a little ways away from the group when she felt someone kiss her cheek and heard the camera click. She looked up and saw Eddie shaking the newly printed picture.

“So,” Eddie grabbed her hands, making her drop the pictures and looked at her. “I’m done avoiding the fact that we need each other.”

She looked up at him and he squeezed her hands tighter.

“Are you sure?” Y/N’s voice was a little shaky.

He smiled brightly.

“Of course, sweetheart. You got me through all that Vecna shit. You’re the reason I’m still here.” She teared up and felt a tear roll down her cheek.

“It was Dustin, too….” Y/N mumbled.

He laughed a little.

“Yes, that little shithead helped, too.”

He moved his hands to her face and cupped her cheeks.

“Please tell me you’ll take me, sweetheart.” His thumb wiped away tears that fell.

They both knew everyone was looking at them. It was painfully obvious. She nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Yes?” Eddie smiled wide.

“Yes!” She laughed. He practically tackled her. He kissed her deeply and she instantly kissed her back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he dipped her backwards a little. She giggled. He kissed all over her face and hugged her tightly, burying his face in her neck. She glanced over and rolled her eyes. Steve was grinning. Robin was giving them thumbs up while smiling. Jonathan and Nancy weren’t paying attention. Dustin looked disgusted. Mike and Lucas were just smiling. Her mom was sobbing. Happy tears of course. Wayne was sneaking a picture of them. Max and El were giggling. Will was confused. Mike quickly explained and he finally got it. Eddie pulled back and dug something out of his pocket.

“Here, I made you something.” He pulled her hand out and placed something in the palm of her hand. It was a guitar pick necklace. It looked identical to his.

“It was my second pick. The one I actually played with.” “Eddie-” “Don’t. I got another one, I promise.” He grinned.

He helped her put it on.

“I love it.”

(Later that night)

Y/N was at Eddie’s Trailer. Wayne was at work. She was wearing one of his Hellfire shirts and just her panties. She was on the bed gluing the pictures into a scrapbook while Eddie showered. She kept a few for herself. Mostly the ones Dustin took of her and Eddie. She dedicated a page to Corroded Coffin. They played at the graduation party. Everyone loved them. She thought he looked extremely hot playing up there. She heard the bathroom door open and he walked into the bedroom wearing sweatpants and pulling on a sleeveless Iron Maiden shirt. He looked at her and grinned.

“Damn, you look sexy.” She rolled her eyes and smiled. She held up the scrapbook page of his band.

“Seal of approval?” He took it and inspected it with a smile.

“I love it.” She smiled in triumph.

“Good.”

He flopped down next to her on the bed, scattering unglued pictures.

“Eddie!” She whined.

“Oh, sorry, sweetheart.”

She flipped to the page where she was gonna put the graduation pictures and used some markers to decorate it before gluing pictures on. He was laying his head in her lap. Her thigh was now wet because his hair hadn’t dried yet. She held up the graduation page.

“What do you think?”

He looked at it.

“Looks good, babe.”

She set the stuff on the floor and laid down next to him. He pulled the covers over them.

“Wayne got me a new mattress by the way.” “Ah, I was wondering where the smell of bong water and pee went.” “Hey, I’ll have you know, I only pissed in the bed when I was a kid.”

She giggled.

“I know.”

He lit a cigarette and she snuggled close to him.

“You don’t mind the smoking, right?” “No.”

“Are you sure?” “Yeah. I don’t mind.” “Well, because there's also the weed…” “Eddie, I really don’t care.”

“Okay, just making sure.”

She sighed and drew circles on his chest.

“What’s up? You seem off.” Eddie looked down at her. “Well, I guess I’m just a little nervous.” “Why?”

“I got into a college in Indianapolis.”

“That’s great! Why are you so nervous?”

“Leaving everyone. Especially you and Dustin. I’m worried about him. I obviously know he’d be fine and I’d only be a few hours away, but like what if something happens to him and I’m too far away so I don’t know.”

“He’ll be fine. That little shithead’s invincible.”

She laughed a little then frowned.

“And what about you? Everyone still thinks you’re a freak.”

“Everyone will always think I’m a freak. Doesn’t matter. Plus, I’ll be fine. Wayne said I can live here rent free until I get on my feet. I get money from drug dealing. Yes, I know you don’t really like it. And, Steve said he’d hook me up with a job at Family Video. I’ll be fine.” “Well, what about us?”

“Us? We’ll be fine. I can drive. I’ll visit as much as I can. I’ll try and be with you as much as I can when you visit here. Send letters. All the sappy couple shit.” She giggled.

“There’s nothing to worry about. We’ll be fine.”

He kissed the top of her head. She sat up and straddled his hips. He looked up at her with a grin.

“What’s going on here?” He put his hands on her hips.

“Sit up.” He sits up and she grabs her scrunchie off the nightstand and pulls Eddie’s hair up into a manbun. She smiled and pulled some strands out and fluffed his bangs out a little. He reached over and pulled something out of his nightstand drawer. They were little plastic flower clips. Her jaw dropped.

“I obviously couldn’t save the real ones so I bought these. Definitely got a few weird looks in the store.”

She pulled one out and started dotting them through his hair. He had turned on his music halfway through, but kept it quiet. She had kinda grown to like his metal music. Given she thought his band was the coolest thing on the planet. She giggled when she finished. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him gently. He spoke quietly against his lips.

“There’s my girl. I missed her.” She kept smiling and kissed him again. He kissed her back.

(2 weeks later) Y/N was moving for college. Eddie was driving with her while Steve drove her car for her behind them. Eddie’s van was big enough to fit all her stuff. She was saying bye to her mom and everyone else. Her mom was sobbing uncontrollably, making Y/N cry.

“Mom, I swear I’ll keep in contact. I’m not gonna leave completely.” Y/N hugged her tight, sniffling.

Claudia finally pulled away and she said tearful goodbyes to everyone else. Nancy was leaving for college the same day so Y/N knew she wasn’t gonna see her for a while. Robin was nearly hysterical. They finally left and she was looking out the van window, still crying a little. Eddie was holding her hand while driving.

“Remember, you don’t have to be sorry for growing up and leaving.” Eddie spoke softly.

“...I know.”

She squeezed his hand and he kissed the back of it. They soon got to the college. Eddie and Steve helped her unload all her stuff into her dorm. Luckily, she was by herself. She said her goodbyes to Steve and he left them alone in the dorm room. She hugged her arms tight around Eddie’s waist and she was crying into his chest. Eddie was crying, too, but not as hard as her. His arms were around her shoulders.

“I-I don’t w-want you to g-go.” Y/N sobbed. “I don’t want to go, either.”

She pressed her face deeper into his chest. She leaned up and kissed him deeply. He cupped her face and kissed her back. She eventually pulled away and put something on his wrist. It was her scrunchie.

“This is your favorite one, though.” “I know. It’s safer with you.”

He lifted up her guitar pick and kissed it.

“Take care of Dustin for me, okay?” She looked up at him with red eyes.

“I will. I promise, sweetheart.”

She kissed him one more time and he left. She sat down on her unmade bed and sniffled.

(November 5th 1986…. 5 months later.) Y/N was surprising everyone. She was driving back to Hawkins and staying for 2 weeks. She got there and pulled into the driveway. She figured Dustin was at school and her mom was at work. She did however know 3 people who weren’t at school. She knew exactly where they were, too. She unloaded all her stuff into her old bedroom. She looked around and smiled at the memories. She got back into her car and started driving. She was frankly, a little sick of driving. She pulled up to Family Video. She walked in and didn’t see anyone at the front counter. There was chatter in the back room.

“No, Munson, we are not putting Friday the Thirteenth on the screens! We’ll all be fired!” Steve exclaimed.

“Oh, come on! Stop being so boring!” Eddie groaned.

“You’re both dinguses.”

Y/N giggled quietly and rang the little bell at the front.

“See, now look at you, too! You’re arguing and we have customers!” She saw Robin step out.

“Welcome to Family Video, how may I help you-” She looked up and her eyes went wide.

Y/N smiled and waved.

“Oh, my god!” Robin squealed and ran over, tackling Y/N in a hug.

Y/N laughed and hugged her back. She saw Steve walk out, confused. He hugged her tight. She saw Eddie step out looking down at something, ignoring the ruckus. He had the headphones she gave him on. He was stocking shelves. She finished saying hi to the two idiots and walked over to Eddie. She tapped his shoulder and he took the headphones off and turned around. She heard Iron Maiden blaring through the speakers. He looked at her and it took a second for him to realize it was her standing there. His eyes went wide and she was suddenly picked up and shaken around. She giggled and hugged him tight. He buried his face in her hair.

“Okay, love birds. Get outta here.” Steve set all of Eddie’s things down on the counter.

“Huh?” Eddie looked at him.

“You can go. We’ll just tell Keith you got sick.” Robin leaned against the counter.

He grinned and picked his stuff up. They walked out.

“Where’s your van?” “Oh, Steve picked me up. No gas.”

“Ah.”

They got to her car and he pressed her up against the side of it. She smiled at him and he kissed her deeply. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. He pulled away after a minute and kissed all over her face, making her giggle.

“God, I missed you so much, sweetheart….” Eddie’s voice was soft in her ear.

“I missed you, too.”

He looked at her, suddenly confused.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” “It was supposed to be a surprise!” Y/N giggled.

“Wait, so like Dustin and your mom don’t know?” “No, they don't. I was gonna pick Dustin up from school and surprise him.” Eddie checked his watch.

“Better get to it. He’s out in 20 minutes.” They quickly got in the car and drove to the school. Y/N leaned against the car and Eddie stood next to her. The bell rang and people started filing out of the school. Y/N suddenly recognized a certain redhead walking with 2 noisy boys. Y/N smiled when Max looked up and saw her. Her eyes went wide and she hit Dustin’s stomach hard, making him choke a little. Max pointed at Y/N and Dustin looked over. Dustin’s eyes went wide and he booked it over to her, tackling her in a hug. She laughed and hugged him back. They went home, Eddie included, and waited for her mom to get home. When she did, she did cry. Like always. It was late at night and Eddie was staying the night. She was sitting on the couch cuddled up to him watching a movie with him and Dustin. He was running his fingers through her hair aimlessly. She smiled a little and pressed closer into him. He kissed the top of her head and she twined her fingers with his, holding on tight to his free hand. When the movie was over, he went upstairs with Y/N. Eddie, being the gentleman he is, was only there to help her fall asleep, then retire to the couch per Claudia’s request. There was one thing though that the two of them had yet to do together. They had talked about it before and Y/N still hadn’t ever done such thing and Eddie was being very patient with her. She pulled her clothes off and looked around in her bag for pajamas. She grumbled a curse and pulled out the old Hellfire shirt and some gray sleeping shorts. She was about to put them on, but felt Eddie come up behind her and put his hands on her waist, slowly sliding them to her belly.

“Ya know… we’ve still never….” She gulped nervously. She was almost 19 and still yet to have sex with her boyfriend. She knew he was going to wait as long as she needed, but she also felt a little guilty.

“If you’re not ready, I understand. I can wait.” He kissed her shoulder.

She took a deep breath.

“We’re gonna have to be quiet.” She felt him smile against her shoulder.

“Just be gentle, okay?” “I will, I promise, sweetheart.”

He turned her around and started kissing her neck. She moaned softly. His hands went down to the back of her thighs, bending at his knees a little, and picked her up. She yelped a little and he laid her down on the bed and got on top of her. She pulled his shirt off and he managed to get his socks off while making out with her. She ran her nails down his back and moaned. He quickly put a hand over her mouth. “That was loud, sweetheart.” “Sorry…” Her voice was muffled.

He kissed further down her chest and pulled her panties off. He spread her legs apart and settled between them.

“Can I, sweetheart?”

She nodded.

“Words. I need words.” “Yes, you can.” He smiled and started kissing the inside of her thigh. She put a hand over her mouth when he started eating her out. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she bucked up against his mouth. He held her hips down and sucked. She let out a loud moan that was muffled by her hand. She cursed silently, knowing she was gonna have an awkward morning with everyone. He stopped and looked up at her. She was panting and her hand fell from her mouth. She felt his finger press up against her entrance. She tensed up.

“Can I? It might help a little if we make it to the real thing tonight.”

She bit her lip, unsure.

“We don’t have to.” He kissed her belly and rubbed the outside of her thigh. “I don’t wanna make you do something you don’t want to.” She shook her head.

“N-No, please do it. I want you to.”

“Are you sure?” “Yes.” He nodded and slowly pushed his middle finger inside her. She winced a little and then moaned a little. It felt good, but kinda hurt. He slowly moved it in and out. She felt him suck hickeys into her thigh. He went a little faster and she felt her legs start to shake. He whispered encouragements and slipped another finger inside. She clamped a hand down over her mouth hard and moaned.

“Cum for me, sweetheart….” Eddie mumbled while licking her clit.

She cried out, muffling it, and came hard around his fingers. He smiled and licked up everything. He kissed back up her body and kissed her deeply. She tasted herself on his lips. He pulled away and she reached down to get his pants off. He laughed and grabbed her hands.

“Woah there. Calm down. We’re gonna wait okay? When we have more privacy.” She pouted and he kissed her forehead.

“I promise it’ll be worth it, okay?” She just nodded and he kissed her knuckles. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped suddenly. She saw a cloud of emotion in his eyes appear and he teared up a little. She cupped his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“I-..... God, I love you.” She gasped. They hadn’t said it until now. Either of them. She smiled wide, threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. He smiled into it and she pulled away and kissed all over his face.

“Say it again.” “I love you!” Eddie laughed.

She kissed him again

“I love you, too.” She mumbled over and over again between kisses.

He eventually left the room after many more kisses and many more I love you’s. She fell asleep pretty fast and woke up the next morning to bustling in the kitchen. It was a weekend so Dustin was gonna be home. She stretched and walked downstairs. Luckily, no one said anything about the noises and her mom and Dustin didn’t seem to even know they happened. Unless they’re just really good at acting. She smiled and leaned against the counter as she watched Eddie and Dustin fight over whether there should be chocolate chips in the pancakes. She walked over and poured some in the batter and mixed it up. They both went quiet. She kissed Eddie’s cheek and ruffled Dustin’s hair before sitting down at the counter. Eddie came up behind her while Claudia started breakfast and Dustin went upstairs to do something. He kissed the back of her head.

“Happy birthday….”

[one-winged-dreams]

He Plays Genshin I Guess

Ship: the reveries of my mind (adri x akingraeux)

Source: original content

Word count: 557

Noooo I'm already writing fics about him /)A(\

This was something I talked about with Owen when I was medicated with sleep aid.

Tag list: @dearly-beeloved @camellias-and-coriander @rebel-wolf13 @sunstar-of-the-north @mahitoslittlebird @goldenworldsabound @edencantstopfallininlove @sosoftandsweet @dorothys-wife @faerie-circle-ships

With the same sort of relieved weariness that accompanied the way Akingraeux removed his headset, he leaned all the way back in his desk chair, blowing air between his lips as he continued to dexterously spin his pen between his fingers. 

With no particular irony intended… Goddamn.

Utilizing the lanky length of his legs, he kicked back, rolling away from his desk that his new mortal companion had been gracious enough to make space for in his own office, before hauling himself upwards.

He gave a quick stretch, satisfied with the way this tangible form strained its muscles and tendons. It was always so novel after being in his natural state for a while. With that, he made his way out of the office, finding the aforementioned mortal standing in the kitchen. He stared for a moment, a fond smile on his face as he watched him idly sipping some… coldbrew?

“A bit late for that, huh?” He commented, silently coming up behind him and placing his hands on Adri's shoulders.

Adri jumped with a yelp - of course he did, Aki was often without presence among mortal perception. When it suited him.

“GOD, HOLY SHIT. I almost had coffee out my nose,” the mortal wheezed, his shoulders slacking under his touch.

“Well I'm SORRY, maybe you shouldn't be drinking coffee at 5 pm, then,” Aki retorted, resting his chin on Adri's head.

He could feel the density of Adri's embarrassment, the tension under his grip that encapsulated the ever-increasing feelings that weren't quite high enough yet for them to go too far. But Aki was patient, he knew that those feelings would apex eventually.

“Shit, is it five already? Does that mean you're off the clock?” Adri fiddled with the tumbler in his hands, trying not to look TOO shy.

“Yeeeep. A real shame, too, I was having so much fun,” Aki replied in no particular tone, his expression weary, but out of Adri's line of sight.

Adri lifted his head a bit as if trying to catch said expression. Aki removed his chin from atop his head to accommodate.

“So do you like IT? You're really… tech-savvy for a god.”

Aki looked down to catch his gaze, his hands remaining on the mortal's shoulders as he shrugged.

“Eh. I mean, yeah, I guess. The people suck, but I guess it's something I enjoy,” he replied in no particular tone.

Adri regarded him for a moment.

“So what ELSE do you like?”

Expression only slightly exaggerated in its thoughtfulness, Aki considered the question for a second.

“I enjoy the little things. I do like IT. I like video games,” he blinked down at Adri. “And I like you.”

The way Adri's face turned bright red was expected, as was the way he reached up to bury his face in his sleeves.

“YOU CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT!”

Aki grinned now, progressing to wrapping his arms around Adri's shoulders and shaking him from side to side in his embrace.

“You're so easy,” he commented, giving him a squeeze before releasing him. “I'm gonna go play Genshin, you gonna come have your caffeine anxiety attack in my lap until you fall asleep?”

There was a characteristic whimper, Adri not yet turning around as he nodded regardless.

“Okay…”

“Atta boy, your hydroxyzine is on the coffee table. Let's do this.”

[missamyrisa2]

I would love to have a magic box that when I opened it, it would magically have miss Amy's royal rod and jewels in them. Just mine to tickle, tease and give tickly handjobs and blow jobs all to make the royal head to gigglecum as many times as I wanted and it would have a little speaker so I could hear miss Amy's giggles and begs as I touch and give her jewels the royal treatment. I wonder if you could survive this as at any time In the day you could feel a feather under your head or nails crawling up and down the shaft, wiggling finger under the jewels.

Okayyyyyy ~

I don't know if you're the same anon (you should allll have cute little emoji sequences for yourselves~!) but you are absolutely killing it and killing meeee with these scenarios. I'm going to try and power through them because I love them soo much and I can barely find the words to respond because I get so blushy giggly just reading them which is ridiculous because I'm excessively chatty and I type way too fast ~~

Anyywayyyyy~

My day was mundane like any other, the clock crawling by as I sat through meeting upon meeting. The silken curtain about my belly trembled as I leaned back. A silly thing to do, wearing lingerie under my business attire, but it was the charge that kept me through the day. No one would know anyway ~ and today's lacey black teddy was probably less circumspect than some other outfits I'd concealed, particularly ones where I've been presenting (and by the way, I very much do this IRL >///<).

That is, until I hear that telltale distant creaking. "Oooh gosssh~" I murmured out, quickly having to cover to my colleagues that I was thinking of something else. My face exploded in blush not just for the interjection of randomness but also knowing what that sound meant. The box had been opened once more. A wispy breeze filled the sleeve which contained my princess parts. They were in the open air, yet still imprisoned in my lingerie. My black business pants held firm causing the silky material to tease my royal area.

A knee popped up involuntarily as I felt that terrible soft itchy sensation drawing up the vein on my shaft. "FFFFFuulll of profffit!" I stammered out, trying to cover my sounds as my princess rod was drawn out from its resting place. The feather tip caressed up and down, pausing to kiss at the head. I faked a sneeze. Faked a cough, faked hiccups. My face was on fire with embarrassment, knowing my sounds were being heard by my magical tormentor at every step.

The silky sleeve held taut, teasing wickedly, though not nearly as awfully as the nails now tracing the royal jewels. My hardness only encouraged more teasing material sensations which only encouraged more swelling. I pounded the table in pretend excitement for the conclusion of the meeting, and hastily made my way through the hall, twisting around people as even the breath of my tickly torturer was putting me into the edgies~

And then it stopped~ I was in the privacy of the restroom, now able to take it, and naturally, my teaser planted a taunting kiss on my royal tip just to make me squeal and giggle out ~ and then I heard the box shut. I knew they weren't done. It's never that easy ~ But the day goes on~

At my desk , they purposely wait until I'm knee deep in a project. That creak, that sound alone makes my royal parts jump at attention now. I can't leave, I have the deadline approaching quickly. I furiously start working away, trying to get as much done before I'm taken. They waste no time and I have to crank the music on my computer to mask my deluge of giggling moaning gasps when I feel a hand close around my rapidly swelling princess part. "Nnnhhh don't handjob meeeeee~~" I start begging~ still trying to work away with one hand and bat at an invisible sensation with another~

They bully my princess part, pumping it rapidly before stopping when I'm gasping and desperate. Just as I relax they jerk manically again, occasionally twirling a soft brush under the head to really make me struggle out the gasping giggles~ I'm down to one hand with one finger typing, trying to make any progress as I wave and throw my hands around as if that might help with these sensations. "Birrrrrdsss goo tweeet go fluffff my benderrr bent unnnnh budddget reduction~~!" I try to get out words that have some semblance of relevance, if the old rumor was true that every office had a listening device installed.

But my nonsense too is taken from me when I feel that breath. "Ohhh nooo nuuunuuu don't I can't take that don't do thattt it's the worssttttt don't blooooow~!!" I scream a giggling whimpering moan. I can't take a blowjob under normal circumstances, least of all after being so royally tickled and taunted and sensitized ~ the softly wet sensation encircles my throbbing tip. I nearly bounce right out of my chair ~ and then I do when those plump lips begin massaging. I'm rolling on the floor, how ridiculous ~ and no matter how much I shake and twist, that naughty teasy mouth can't be deterred ~ I throb and tremble and buck, gasping giggling ~ screaming with laughs as their tickly tongue extends and taunting lips caress ~ "ppllheheesee don't make meeeee not the fireworkssss I can'ttttt princess firewoooorks~!"

With a screeching sound equal parts laugh and moan and scream, my body arches and I'm made to gigglecum both out of the magical box and into my little teasy lingerie ~ I twist and tremble, weakly trying to gather myself up ~ pushing my mess of blonde hair aside and coming back to some semblance of senses, two facts become evident~

I was not muffling my sounds well at all.

And my magical teaser is absolutely not done with me today.

With a groan and a blushing giggle I feel a vibrating tool sliding up my royal area to coax it out, just as the teasing fingers of my co-workers descend to offer their wicked assistance~<3

[infinitelysumi]

Early mornings with Hinata, Kenma, and Aone

Masterlist

Hinata

Sunlight streamed in through your window, and you blinked slowly, the light far too bright for your tired self. You flipped around in bed only to come face to face with Shoyo. His bright orange hair was tousled and messy, and his eyes were closed peacefully as he continued to sleep. Your lips curved into a soft smile, and your fingers lightly traced the silhouette of his face.

Even the soft touch managed to pull him out of sleep, and he slowly came to. His eyes slowly opened, and the moment he noticed you, he was grinning. "Good morning!" he said happily, shifting forward to give you a kiss on the lips.

You grin back, shrugging off the urge to go back to sleep. "Good morning, Sho."

He glanced back at your alarm clock. "You're up earlier than usual."

"The sun," you complained.

He giggled. "Well, in that case, you go back to bed and I'll make us some breakfast." Making the least amount of disturbance as possible, he slid out of bed. "Rice or soup this morning?"

"Mmm, soup," you mumble back, closing your eyes again. "Thanks, Sho..."

"Anything for you, sweetheart."

Kenma

You knew that it took a lot to wake up Kenma when he was in deep sleep, so when you woke up before the sun was even out, you didn't feel guilty trying to move into the position of Little Spoon. Usually, it's easy to slide in between his arms and use his bicep as a pillow, but for some reason, this morning, everything was going wrong.

Your foot was tangled in the sheet, and your hair kept making its way into your mouth, and your pyjamas were twisting uncomfortably. With all the extra movement, it was no surprise that Kenma woke up.

He groaned as you accidentally elbowed him trying to adjust the covers. "Kitten, what are you doing?"

You sighed but continued to snuggle into him. "Sorry to wake you, Kenma, I didn't mean to."

He let out a light chuckle before holding you closer. "It's fine. Go back to sleep."

You happily complied.

Aone

You let out a deep sigh as you stretched out your arms into the sky. Waking up this early was not part of the plan, but here you were. You twisted onto your side to look at the handsome man beside you. The pale light of the rising sun highlighted his pale white hair and stoic face that scares off his opponents.

You lay there watching the sun slowly illuminate more and more of his face. How did you manage to land such an amazing man? Others thought he was scary, but he was one of the kindest, most thoughtful people you'd ever met. Sure, he didn't know how to approach people most of the time, but he wouldn't hurt a fly.

A small sigh escaped your lips, and the puff of air brushed against Aone's face. You were shocked to see his face wrinkle in surprise, then his eyes opened.

"How long have you been awake!" you squeaked, embarrassed that he caught you watching him.

"Long time," he said, yawning.

You smacked his shoulder and buried your face in the pillow. "Ugh, how could you do this to me!"

He simply chuckled and brushed your hair away from your face, revealing your blush. He didn't need to say anything; his expression said it all. You're so cute.

You sighed. "Fine. I forgive you. You better cuddle me to make up for it though."

"Sure."

[blooming-violets]

Pinky Promise || TASM Ch. 3

Summary: [Part One] [Part Two] It’s time to add a bit of drama into the end of this one. Why not? That’s not a summary but I’m bad at summing things up.

—————-

Peter.

Peter.

Peter.

Spider-Man’s name was Peter.

You repeated his name in your head as you laid on your bed and stared at the cracks in the ceiling. “Peter,” you whispered into the dark room. His name sounded nice on your lips. You smiled and rolled onto your side, snuggling deeper into the blankets. 

It had been easy for him to convince you to return home after he eased your worries about your sister. Knowing that she was safe gave you the confidence you needed to leave the hospital. He had helped you into your building and up to your forth floor room. You thought about inviting him inside to get warm but then you remembered where you lived. It was too embarrassing to let someone else into your place. The paint was peeling, there were tiles missing on the floor, mold grew in patches over the walls and ceiling, it was no place to invite a superhero. So you had said your quick goodbyes in the hallway and watched him jump out the window at the end of the hall. Part of you wondered if you’d ever see him again. 

“Don’t get your hopes up,” you thought to yourself. Spiderman was a man of the people. Just because you felt like you had made a new friend today, doesn’t mean he felt the same way. This was technically his job. He's probably done similar things for people like this all month. You weren’t anything special. 

Just another saved person to add his ever growing list.

Still. You couldn’t help but hope you’d get to meet again. 

Your thoughts faded as you sunk deeper into your bed. Sleep pulled at your exhausted mind. You welcomed it. 

---

A loud alarm jolted you awake. It was still dark in your room. The clock on your nightstand read 5:30. Its red glow bathing your skin in its light as you reached out to shut it off. 

“I hate my life,” you breathed with fatigue. 

You forgot you had to work today. Judging by what time you got home last night, you estimated you probably managed about two hours of sleep total. A pained cry whimpered dramatically out of you. 

“You can do this. You got this. Just get up.” with a loud groan you rolled your body out of the comforts of your bed and into a standing position. 

The floor was cold under your bare feet and your knees ached as you padded towards the bathroom. You flicked on the bathroom light and the single, tiny light bulb did it’s best to brighten up the small room.

“I hate everything. I hate everything. Everything is awful. My life sucks,” you spoke to yourself while turning on the shower. “This shower is stupid. I’m tired. I hate my life.” It was your morning mantra you repeated to yourself every day. Olivia often called you a drama queen when she over heard you but you didn’t mind. Drama queen or not, you were tired and everything hurt. 

Your old t-shirt and underwear were cast to the floor as you stepped into the luke warm shower. The water had worse pressure than usual this morning and it only ever got mildly warm but it was enough to soothe your aching body. You lathered shampoo into your scalp as you let your head fall backwards under the stream. 

Yesterday had felt like a dream. You were still trying to comprehend everything that happened. It was like a lifetime of emotions hit you over the course of a few hours. Poor Olivia. After your shower, you’d pack a bag of her clothes to bring to her. Maybe you could call in sick to work? You really should focus on cleaning your own house instead of a strangers. Surely Olivia’s social worker was bound to make a home visit in the upcoming days. 

Anxiety stirred your empty stomach at the thought. You’d have to make this place look as perfect as you could. Finishing your shower, you grabbed a towel, dried yourself off and wrapped it around your body. You wiped what little condensation had formed on the mirror away and stared back at yourself. 

There were dark bags under your bloodshot eyes. It felt like you had aged considerably in just a short moment. Seeing Olivia fall had probably taken a few years off your life. You huffed and grabbed your toothbrush, tossing on some toothpaste and sticking it in your mouth. 

“We’re going to need to layer on the makeup today,” you thought. You wouldn’t want Olivia to see you looking this haggard. It would worry her. She was always so good at picking up on the smallest of details. 

As you spit your toothpaste into the sink, you turned the water back on to rinse your mouth. It sputtered pathetically out of the faucet. You quickly leaned down and grabbed a mouthful, spitting it back out, before the water disappeared entirely. You turned the tap on and off a few more times. Nothing. 

Hmm. Did you forget to pay your bills? You walked out into the kitchen and tried the tap there too. Also nothing. 

You thanked your luck for managing to get in a shower before the water was turned off. You’d add calling your landlord to your list of things to do today. Not that he would be of any help. That’s all you needed was extra stuff to worry about. 

You flicked on your bedside lamp and sat on the floor in front of your full length mirror, a makeup bag tucked between your legs. As you began to apply foundation, you called your manager, Patty, putting her on speaker phone. There was no way you could work today. You’d need to get things ready for Olivia when she came home. 

It rang twice before an annoyed voice picked up on the other end, “What do you want?” 

“Hey, this is Lucy.”

“I know,” the woman’s voice sounded irked in response. “I have caller id. The question still stands. What do you want?”

You patted concealer under your eyes as you spoke, “I need the day off today. My sister is in the hospital. I have a million things I have to do. I just can’t make it today.” 

Patty laughed. It wasn’t a nice laugh. “Absolutely not. You’ve already taken too much time off. You’re on duty today. We got a new client. I recommended you to her. You need to stop by the office today, pick up the spare key, and go straight to her house.”

“I can’t, Patty. My sister is in the hospital,” you repeated. “I need t-”

She interrupted you mid sentence, “I know. I watch the news. I saw that Spider-thing catch her. She ain’t dead. Therefore, you need to be into work by 8 o’clock if you still want a job. Otherwise I’m firing you on the spot. You’re replaceable, kid.”

There was no joking tone in her voice. You knew she was serious. I hate my life. “Alright, alright. Fine. I’ll be there. I just have to stop by the hospital and drop off a bag for my sister.”

“I don’t care what you do as long as you’re here by 8,”  she hung up without saying goodbye. 

The clock now read 6:15. It was time to get a move on. You swiped a mascara wand over your lashes and threw some lip balm on your lips before slipping into your work clothes. There was no time for coffee. Your water didn’t work anyway so it wasn’t like you’d even be able to make it. Your stomach growled. There would be no time for food either.

You stood in middle of your bedroom and looked around with a slight panic. “Okay, think. What do I need?” 

A bag for Liv. You dumped out the contents of her school bag and began throwing clothes into it instead. Some underwear, three t-shirts, a sweater, her favorite fluffy socks, and a pair of sweats. It was just three days. That should be enough. You grabbed her tooth brush and hair brush, unsure exactly what kind of things the hospital would provide for her. As you went to slip into your own boots to leave, you caught of a glimpse of Bobo, Olivia’s stuffed teddy bear. An eye was missing and he looked like he could use a good wash but he had always been her favorite. 

You scooped him up and hugged him into your arms. Tears burned in your eyes. He smelled like her. “Take care of our Livvy,” you whispered into his matted brown fur. “Keep her safe while I’m not there.” 

You gently tucked him on top of her things and zipped the bag closed. You blinked the tears away, not wanting to ruin your freshly applied mascara, and prepped yourself to leave. 

Turning to lock your door behind you, you caught sight of an envelope taped to the old, yellowing door. It was addressed to Olivia. You pulled it down and opened it. You refused to hand your sister a strange note without reading it first to make sure it was appropriate.  

“Dear Olivia,

Hi, this is Spiderman writing to you. I wanted to check in and see how you were doing. You really scared me the other day. I don’t want to see you get hurt. You would be doing me a big favor if you could keep you feet firmly planted on the ground from now on. I’d never want to see anything bad happen to you. You’re too special to get hurt. 

I heard your sister say that you won every science fair you ever entered. I used to win at my science fairs too. Maybe when you’re older, you can be my trusty sidekick. I need someone smart and strong to help out. Until then, stay safe, keep learning, and stop climbing onto roofs. 

From, 

Your Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman

P.S. I hope you know how much your sister loves you. I think she would do anything for you. Remember to tell her you love her from time to time. 

P.P.S. When you get back home, I hope I’m still invited to dinner.”

Tucked into the letter was a polaroid picture of Spiderman giving a thumbs up at the camera as he squatted outside the hospital she was staying at.  

The letter wasn’t helping your growing love for him. He was too kind. You knew Olivia would lose her mind with excitement when she received this. You slung her bag off your shoulder and put it in front of you, opening the zipper and placing the letter safely in Bobo’s arms for her to find later. 

---

The fresh snow that had fallen in the night was already turning to dirty slush on the sidewalks. Snow in the city never stayed beautiful for long. You kicked at the heavy slush with your boot and hurried your way in the direction of the hospital. It was about a fifteen minute walk from your apartment. You doubted you would actually be able to see Olivia this morning, you’d have to wait until visiting hours later, so dropping off her things would probably only take ten minutes at the most if you rushed. Then you’d need to catch the subway to head back to the office in order to retrieve the key and your cleaning supplies. Assuming the subway was on time, you estimated it would take another twenty minutes of travel. Then you’d need to haul everything back into the subway, find out where the new client lived, and hope that it was close enough for you make it there before 8 or else you’d be fired. 

There was no way you’d make it. 

Still, you had to try. Your wet hair slashed across your face in the wind as you hurried towards the hospital. It would be really convenient to have special web powers right about now to sling you forward at a faster speed. What a nice way it would be to travel. Being a normal human sucked. 

You jogged into the hospital, trying to run to the elevator, but were quickly stopped by security. He put an arm out to keep you from moving forward, “Excuse me, ma’am. You need to wait in line with every one else.” 

You looked to where he was pointing. A line of about fifteen people stood waiting to walk through a metal detector before being allowed to enter the premises. You groaned in frustration. You had forgotten about all the heavy security measures that the city added over the years. This would add even more time onto your day. 

You were so screwed. 

---

“Excuse me! Pardon me!” You shouted at you pushed your way out of the subway and through the crowds of people trying to climb up the stairs. It was 7:48. You had spent too long at the hospital talking to one of Olivia’s nurses. Now we were seriously racing the clock.

You sprinted as fast as you could towards your boss’ office. Meticulous Maids had its headquarters in the back section of an old building. Patty worked the phones and computers from there. It was where she housed all the cleaning supplies and orchestrated where each girl needed to be every day. 

She looked up from behind the counter with unimpressed eyes as you huffed out of breath in front of her. “You’re late,” she stated. 

“No,” you gasped for air. “I still have ten minutes. I can do it. I’m super fast. Fastest person alive. Just give me the address.” 

“Hm,” she pursed her lips together and slipped you a piece of paper with an address written on and the key. “If the client calls with any complaints, you’re out.”

You nodded and stuffed the paper into your pocket, grabbing a vacuum, a mop, and large, yellow bucket full of your supplies. “I won’t disappoint you. Promise.” 

“And I don’t care,” she turned back to reading something on her computer while you heaved the vacuum towards the door. 

---

It was always a challenge to carry an entire vacuum cleaner, long mop, and a heavy bucket filled with crap through the city. It was even worse in the winter. Somehow you had managed to get it onto the subway. You had even found a seat for you to rest in, your supplies cradled between your legs, trying to take up the least amount of room as possible. 

It was already 8 o’clock. Technically, you were late, but as long as the client didn’t tattle on you, you were in the clear. You glanced at the map pulled up on your phone. 20 Ingram Street, Queens. You weren’t familiar with that exact street but you knew it was in Forest Hills. A lot of old, beautiful homes there. According to your phone, it was about a twenty minute walk from the station. It’d probably take you longer when you had to drag your vacuum through the snow though. 

The rocking of the subway lulled your sleep deprived body into a sense of peace. You refused to close your eyes. Even on a Saturday morning, you wouldn’t dare make yourself vulnerable to those around you. To keep you from dozing off, you decided to put your hair into two french braids. You worked on the right side of your head when you started to overhear a conversation. Something he was saying caused your ears to perk up and listen. 

A middle aged man in a business suit stood across from you. He was on the phone and speaking loudly. He had that sort of attitude where he was used to being the most respected man in a room. He didn’t care who overheard him. 

“I got a call from my secretary at work an hour ago. She told me the water had been shut off to the entire building. My wife was bitching at me this morning because the water had broke in our house, now it’s not working at my office either. I thought I was going crazy. Then Jim from the station gives me a call. You remember him? You met him at the Christmas party last year. Mhm, that’s the one. He called to let me know people all over the city are losing water. He sent some guys down to figure out what’s going on. He told me he’d give me a call back when he figured it out. I know, it’s ridiculous. You better believe I’m going to start suing people if this issue isn’t resolved soon.” His voice faded back into ambient noise once he began talking about things that didn’t interest you.

“That was interesting”, you mused in your head as you finished the first braid and began working on the second. It seemed you weren’t the only one who was having water issues this morning. It was almost a relief. At least it wasn’t something you did. You just hoped your clients house had running water. It’d be awfully hard to clean properly without it. 

--- 

You doubled checked the address on the paper with the one in front of you. It was a nice house. Brick. A front porch. It looked charming and inviting. You gave a quick knock before sticking in the key and turning knob. In all the years of working as a house cleaner, you never got used to just walking into someone else’s home when they weren’t there. 

“Hello? Meticulous Maid cleaning service,” You called out politely. You took a quick glance around the open rooms from the front hall. When no one replied, you began to set up your things.

Each cleaner had their own method of tasks they liked to start with. You liked to begin by tidying up anything that was on the floor and putting them into neat piles for the owner to sort through on their own. Then you’d do the dusting, window washing, anything up high that would potentially drip below. When those were finished you would vacuum, sweep, mop, whatever needed to be done. Then you’d finish it up by doing any dishes or polishing any surfaces. You liked to move room by room, starting in the back and working your way forward towards the front door. That way you wouldn’t have to trudge your dirty, tired self through all the rooms you had just cleaned when you were finished. 

You pulled your headphones out of your pocket and placed them over your ears. You scrolled to your work playlist and let the music drown out everything else. With your yellow bucket of supplies in your hand, you wondered through the house, inspecting things as you went. The voyeuristic part of your brain loved being a cleaner. Each person’s home was so different and so unique to them. Even if you hardly met the people who owned them, you felt you knew so much about them.

This was a real home. It wasn’t perfectly tidy and showcase worthy. There were piles of things stacked up in corners and clutter on every surface. People lived here. Some of the homes you had been in made it seem like the person staying there lived inside a magazine catalog, not allowed to touch anything or make themselves comfortable. Everything had to be perfect. Not here though. Imperfections were allowed. 

You wondered up the stairs to the top floor. There were only three rooms up here. It shouldn’t be too hard to clean. Out of the three rooms, two had the doors closed. It was Meticulous Maid policy that if you didn’t want a room cleaned, you just had to simply keep the door closed. The only open door on this floor was to the bathroom. You guessed the other two rooms were the bedrooms. Lots of people didn’t like the idea of a stranger invading the room the slept in. You didn’t blame them for wanting to keep it private. 

You pushed open the bathroom and placed your bucket on top of the closed toilet seat. An Albert Einstein poster hung next to the sink. It was that famous picture of him sticking out his tongue. The quote under it read “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” You smiled. It was a cute little detail. You weren’t used to seeing posters in people’s bathrooms. 

The first thing you did was try the sink. You turned the faucet. It made a strange squeaking noise you could just hear over the music in your ears but nothing came out. 

“That’s so strange...” you wondered out loud to yourself. 

Just then a heavy forced knocked you to the ground. Your face pressed against the cold tiles under you. “Ow,” you rubbed your head and rolled onto your back to see what had hit you. 

Standing in the doorway was Peter. It took you a second to recognize him without his suit. He was wearing a dark green t-shirt and black boxers. His hair was a mess and he had a look of utter confusion on his face. It looked as if he had just rolled out of bed. 

“Peter?” you asked with bewilderment. 

He replied with equal confusion of his own, “...Lucy?” 

“Did you just hit me?” You arm stung from where you were pretty sure he had shoved you to the floor. 

“I think I might have. Why are you in my house?” His eyes had a wild glint in them. They darted around the room, trying to search for anyone who might be hiding there. His entire body was on high alert. 

“Dude, calm down. It’s okay. I was hired to work here. I’m a house cleaner. Meticulous Maids...where all your cleaning needs will be met with a smile,” you repeated the company catch phrase with a monotone voice. “Heard of it?” 

You pulled yourself up into a sitting position. Your head still rang from where it had hit the tiles. Your poor headphones lay cracked in half on the ground, music still blasting out of them. “Oh man, I got those for Christmas,” you hit pause on the music and looked at them sadly before turning back to Peter. 

Except he was no longer in the door way. 

“Uh, Peter...or...Spiderman? I don’t know what to call you. You good?” You pulled yourself up and stuck your head out the door. He wasn’t in the hallway but you heard the sound of the tv turn on downstairs. You decided to follow him down. 

He was standing in the living room, the remote in hand, and flicking through news channels. 

You stepped behind him to see what he was looking for, “Are you okay?”

“Something’s wrong,” he mumbled. 

He finally settled on the station he was looking for. It was a local news agency. A woman was frantically reporting down by the East River. She was mid sentence as Peter turned up the volume, “-completely draining the river! He was last seen making his way towards the center of the borough. The mayor has urged Queen residents to stay inside your houses! It is unknown what sort of damage he is capable of causing.” While she spoke her last sentence, video footage played of a giant creature rising out of the river. He, himself, was completely made of water it seemed. He sucked up every bit of water around him causing his form grow taller and wider with each passing second. The thing was massive. He towered above the people screaming under him. 

“Holy shit,” you whispered. “What is that thing?” 

Peter didn’t reply. He dashed back upstairs. You followed him with your eyes before turning back to the tv. It showed footage of people screaming as huge waves washed down on them. Some lost their footing and were carried away off screen. The creature opened its mouth and screamed with a deep booming voice, “I. Am. Hydro-Man! Get me Spiderman!” Your eyes widened. Whatever this monster-man-water creature was, he was not happy with Peter. 

“Lucy!” he called from upstairs. 

You turned and dashed up the steps, taking two at a time. Peter’s door was wide open and you watched as he threw his mask over his face, already completely suited up. How was he supposed to fight something that was entirely made of water? 

“Stay here! I’m serious this time. Don’t move!” He lectured you as he lifted his window open and crawled out, leaving you alone. 

You didn’t have much time to reply before he disappeared. Silence settled in the house except for the muffled sounds of the tv from the floor under you. You just stood there, unsure of what to you were supposed to do next. 

It was then you heard the loud rattling begin in the bathroom across the hall. You turned your head to the sound. Slowly, you stepped towards it. The shower head was violently shaking as the pipes wailed inside the walls. Something was not right. It looked like it was going to explode. 

“Uhm...Peter...” you turned back towards Peter’s room. He was still gone. You were still alone. 

The shower head shot off the pipe and landed with a loud bang into the tub, cracking the surface. You screamed at the sound and pressed your back against the wall. Water rushed out of the exposed pipe with such heavy pressure you were sure it would burst any second. Waves cascaded over the side of the tub and sloshed around the bathroom floor. It knocked your bucket off the toilet seat and slammed it against the door locking you in. The sound of the water was almost deafening as it filled the room. You felt it wrap around your ankles, like two large hands grabbing you, and pulled you forcefully onto the floor. 

You fell down, water now up to your waist as you were forced into a sitting position, you back still pressed against the wall. Your heart felt like it might burst out of you chest at any moment. 

A figure of a man started to take shape amongst the water and rose up tall before you. He was featureless but you tell he was staring right at you. 

“Now who do we have here?” He leaned towards you, water splashing off him and hitting your face. 

You closed your eyes in fear. 

“Help me,” you whimpered. 

[Part Four]

[genshin-no-simp]

Diluc x Reader - Birthday Boy (Smut)

Pairing: Diluc x You/Reader (Female)

Sexual conent below the cut

Warnings: semi-public sex, tummy bulge? fluff ending.

---------------

It took a weeks worth of preparation on your part to get everything in place, all for this one day. This one special day. But it was worth it.

After all, Diluc did deserve rest on his birthday.

You made sure there was nothing that needed doing, nothing that warranted Diluc to leave the comfort of the Manor. You were exhausted but you knew this was only a fraction of the work that Diluc did. It was your motivation to make sure everything was in order, of course with the help of Elzer and Adelinde.

And when the night before his birthday approached, you reassured him that he could take this chance to sleep in for once. Diluc wasn't against the idea but he wasn't sure if his body clock would allow him to sleep in. But little did he know, he was exhausted and only once he hit this pillows did he realize this.

When Diluc had finally woken, he groaned softly bringing his hand up as he ran his fingers through his unruly morning hair, that's when he noticed you weren't beside him. In an instant he shot out of bed, looking around. You never got out of bed before him. About to leave the bed himself his door opened and your figure came into view. You were still in your night dress. Diluc sighed in relief, then raised his eyebrow at the tray.

"What's this?" His voice low and husky since he had just woken up.

You weren't going to lie, his voice was enough to set a fire burning inside you. But today was about him. You smiled with a giggle.

"What does it look like? Breakfast of course. So sit back in bed." You came to his side of the bed.

From this close up Diluc could see properly just how little your night dress left to the imagination. Then he realized, you went to the kitchen like that, and he frowned, anyone could have seen you, which seemed to pissed him off.

"Don't worry I had the kitchen to myself, only Adelinde, Moco and Hillie are here at the moment." You knew what was running through his head. Diluc had a tendency to get overly possessive sometimes. But it's one of his faults that you fell in love with regardless.

Diluc looked away, half embarrassed and half ashamed that you knew without a doubt that he didn't want other people, especially men to see you like this. You gave another soft giggle setting the bed table down.

Diluc cleared his throat and looked at you, "what's the occasion?" He then lowered his gaze to the food and didn't know where to start, everything looked so enticing. He smiled at the eggs that you put a little extra effort in to make look like hearts.

You sat on the opposite side of him careful not to knock the glasses of grape juice over on the tray. You gave a little hum.

"Well what day is it?" You asked him instead. Diluc tilted his head, pulling the fork from his mouth. Once he was finished chewing he spoke.

"Friday." He stated matter of factly.

"Yes, but what date is it?" You cocked your head to the side, watching him. He totally forgot about his birthday didn't he? You thought to yourself.

"Um..." Diluc didn't know why but he felt pressured, as if you would give out to him, if he got this wrong.

Was it your birthday? No that's not till a few months.

Was it your anniversary? No that just passed.

At this point you were struggling to keep your laughter in.

"Luc, come on. It's your birthday." You rolled your eyes laughing.

Then it clicked, it suddenly made sense, from why you told him to sleep in, to breakfast in bed.

"That's it?" He asked, indifferently.

"What do you mean 'that's it's? You only get one birthday, and I'm going to make sure you get the most out of it." Diluc could hardly deny you, not with how passionate you were about it. But it's just another day, birthday or not.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but there's still work-"

"I do believe there is nothing for you to do today. Everything is already taken care of. It's you day." This time you were much more calmer as you smiled sweetly at him.

Now he definitely couldn't say no. He had a feeling you did a lot to get him this day of peace. Besides it's been so long since he's actually celebrated his birthday. Not that he cared to remember it considering what happened all those years ago...but maybe now is the time to move on from that, it's getting real tiring anyway.

Diluc smiled at you, yes from now on he will celebrate his birthday with you.

Diluc had to admit, it was nice, having all this free  time AND getting to spend it with you. The two of you spent most your time outside, walking through the vineyard and occasionally eating a grape or two, at one point you started playing hide and seek. Instead of finding it childish, Diluc found it oddly refreshing. Just being able to let loose for once.

Currently he was hiding, making sure to keep his eye out for you and staying on the move, it was cheating of course but it added to the fun, but you were an expert at hide and seek and knew all the tricks in the book. Just as he turned around, you seemingly popped out of nowhere.

"Found yooou~" you giggled tackling him into a hug.

Caught of by both your sudden appearance and the hug he fell backwards onto the ground.

"Thought you could escape me huh?" You nuzzled into his neck.

Diluc chuckled holding you close to his body.

"I thought I would've had a better chance than that." He admitted.

You sat up on his chest, while he propped himself up his elbows. The light from the sun creeped through the cracks of the vineyards many grape pergolas. It wasn't the most private of places but nobody would notice the two of you unless they looked.

Cupping Diluc's cheek, you leaned down to kiss him, which without hesitation he accepted. It was a delicate kiss, both of you could feel the love and affection that you held for each other. It was truly something.

When you went to pull away from the kiss, Diluc pulled you back for more, shifting his weight onto his left arm, his right arm snaked around your waist his hand pressing agaisnt the middle of your back, giving you no chance to move. Diluc wasn't done with you just yet.

Gripping his shoulders you pushed him back down onto his back, Diluc gave a mental sigh finally able to take the pressure off his left arm. Now he had both his around wrapped around you securely. He made you feel so safe, you never wanted to leave his arms but lucky for you, he wasn't going to let go anytime soon.

It wasn't long before his hands started to wander, touching and caressing your body. Soft gasps and pants escaped from you, Diluc used every opportunity to dive into your mouth. The intensity of the kiss was making you lightheaded, but in a good way. Your body burned and your heart was racing. You could tell Diluc was the same, you could feel his heart pounding against his chest right under your hand, not only that but at how brazenly he lifted your pale mint dress up to touch your bare skin. It made you shudder, Diluc had opted to be gloveless today, it was certainly a change in pace compared to his usual leather. Being able to feel his skin on yours right away was making you feel impatient.

Finally allowed to pull away from the kiss, a string of saliva followed. Diluc gazed at you with hooded eyes, his normally bright ruby eyes, dark and heavy with lust. You licked your lips, sitting up on him once again. One of the straps on your dress slipped down your shoulder. Diluc held back his growl and his urge to flip you over. You weren't even trying to seduce him and he was already under your spell.

Gripping your thighs he pushed you lower down until your clothed womanhood rubbed against the bulge in his pants. You failed to catch the moan before it fell from your lips. Diluc smirked, knowing you were just as excited as he was right now.

Diluc was planning on teasing you some more before you had decided to take back some control. Abruptly you grinded yourself against him, biting your lip. It was Diluc's turn to let out a surprised moan as his hips bucked up into yours.

"Ah~ Diluc." You fumbled for his belt buckle. If Diluc wasn't as impatient he would've chuckled and teased you. Maybe it was the sun, maybe it was the free time or maybe it was just you. But he wasn't complaining. Diluc hissed in relief, feeling his member finally free of its painful confinement.

You were going to lower yourself further but he grabbed your arm pulling you into a kiss.

"No time for that." He breathed heavily between kisses. Of course there was time he just wasn't interested in that right now, he just wanted you, in which case he used his Vision to burn the sides of your underwear and discard the rest.

Now with your underwear out the way, Diluc could feel how wet you really were. It was cute how excited you had gotten without any foreplay, perhaps the fact that you were technically out in the open played a part but regardless, he was happy that it was him who made you feel like this.

You moaned against the kiss feeling the tip of his member push against your awaiting hole. Breaking away from the kiss you pushed down against him, taking him all in at once.

"Fuck!" It was so strange hearing Diluc swear but it filled you with a strange sense of pride knowing you were able to break his nobility.

The stretch of taking him all at once burned but it felt good. It was certainly much greater compared to when he would prepare you first. But you weren't complaining at all. Tilting your head back with a moan you began to bounce up and down, your slick made it easy to slide up and down. You gripped the front of Diluc's shirt for support as he snapped his hips up into yours. A series of wanton moans escaped your lips, the harder and faster Diluc went.

Your head fell forward your eyes glossy and your pupils blown wide with pleasure. Now both your dress straps had slid down your shoulders, making Diluc lose his mind. He gripped your hips so tight, there wasn't a doubt that there would be fingerprints even through the dress. You choked on your moans as you swore you could feel Diluc in your stomach. He was reaching places you never thought possible, or your were so drunk on pleasure it just felt that way, but it didn't matter what was the truth, it was fantastic.

"Ngh, haA~ mm close..." you struggled to get the words out.

Diluc grunted thrusting upwards even faster, you had struggled to keep up before but now it was just impossible. It wasn't long before you came all over him. Diluc wasn't too far behind, feeling your release edged him into his, you felt his hot seed fill you up more than your already were, you threw your head back with a shameless moan of his name. You were certain everyone around and in the Manor had heard you. But Diluc didn't care, let them know who was and had made you feel good.

You panted heavily as your body shook from the after math of your orgasm. Diluc too was desperately gasping for air as he came down from his high. Letting a soft puff of air, you looked down at Diluc and grinned leaning in to kiss him. He chuckled kissing you back.

Getting off Diluc he fixed his pants as you picked up what was left of your underwear.

"Luc." You pouted, "you ruined my panties." You huffed and rubbed your legs together, you could feel some of his cum dripped down your thigh.

"My love, they were ruined before I even touched them." He winked with a cocky smirk.

Your face flushed a deep crimson as you looked away from him, Diluc smiled wrapping his arm around your waist tenderly.

"Come on, let's go take a bath." He smiled gently, ushering you back towards the Manor. You snuggled into his side contently.

During the short trip back inside, not one of the employees dared to look in your direction. Instead of it making you feel better you felt embarrassed. You weren't surprised that they heard you but they didn't have to make it so obvious.

"Luc, nobody would look at me." You sounded more mortified than you intended as you pulled your dress off, which only added to Diluc's amusement.

"Good, they shouldn't be looking at you in the first place." He stated stripping himself of his own clothes.

Upon returning to Diluc's private quarters, you were both pleasantly surprised by the already drawn bath, with scattered rose petals and scented candles. It seems Adelinde knew exactly what the two of you needed. You were the first to settle into the bath despite Diluc's confusion, usually he got in first so you could rest against him, it felt weird that he was resting against you.

"Are you sure I'm not too heavy against you?" It was the fourth time he asked now.

"Oh for Celestia's sake Luc, I'm not made out of glass, I'm fine. But you won't be if you keep asking." At least you gave him a warning which he took to heart, despite not having a Vision yourself, you were very capable of looking after yourself.

"Alright, alright." Diluc sunk a little lower into the tub, his head now resting between your boobs.

"Oh." He said softly, he hadn't expected this to be so comfortable. You giggled softly.

"Someone looks content." There was a lot of fondness in your voice that made Diluc's chest flutter. He let out a soft hum and closed his eyes when he felt your fingers massage some herbal shampoo into his scalp.

Diluc couldn't help but think about how lucky he was to have someone like you. Someone so caring and aware of his needs. He didn't expect to meet someone like you, or anyone in general for that matter. He thought he was going to be alone, forever, and he was okay with that. Until he had met you, he didn't at the time realize just how important you would be to him, but he knows now and he's incredibly grateful towards you and towards himself, for letting him step out of his comfort zone and let someone in again.

Before he knew it, Diluc had fallen asleep, between the soothing heat of the water, your massaging and the sweet sound of your voice, they had all lulled him into sleep.

"Luc? You listening?" You asked softly, "Luuuc~" you cooed. Perplexed with his quietness, you tilted your head to the side to peer into his face, where you noticed he had fallen asleep. You grinned with a giggle.

You were so preoccupied with talking, you didn't notice the change in his breathing, as it steadied out. But now you didn't know what to do. You knew you couldn't stay in the bath but you didn't want to wake him either. But you also knew the water wouldn't go cold anytime soon thanks to Diluc, placing a kiss to his damp hair, you decided to let him sleep for a little while longer. After all he deserved it.

[4dtk]

have this absolute shameless drabble of sugar daddy gojo that i wrote in between requests. my fingers have never typed so fast im sorry this is literally self-indulgent at this point ARJGJFFJ.

disclaimer i honestly can't see anyone calling gojo daddy but just for this fic..... ill allow it..... and also bc sugar daddy gojo is just always residing in my mind. did you see how he transferred 10 mil to mei mei!!!!! i will never shut the fuck up about that scene. pls spoil me <3

warnings: praise, public sex, sugar daddy/sugar baby relations, breeding kink, pet names

NSFW UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DNI

sugar daddy!gojo pushes you up against the window of the store, visible for everyone to see you getting fucked senseless. in the gucci store four floors up, it could work both ways. fortunate to be so high up, although people would be getting a treat if they happened to look up.

“you know what you’re doing, baby?” he grunts, hips rocking into your soaked pussy as the staff outside try to ignore the lewd noises coming from behind the curtains.

it was supposed to be a simple trip: get a dress for gojo’s event in a few weeks and get out. with a tight arm wrapped around his, you followed him around like a starstruck puppy, the edges of your lips curled up knowing he’d treat you a million times over if you just asked for it.

gojo wasn’t any different, either. sure, he’s had sugar babies in the past, but not quite like you who’s so easy to please and spoil, knowing you could never say no even if your life depended on it. with your desperate listing for the requirement of monetary assistance, gojo couldn’t resist taking up the offer.

he just hadn’t expected you to be so… pliant. you had taken it like a good little bitch, too, moaning out for everyone to hear because you liked it like that.

“you’re taking my cock so well, princess,” gojo muttered out, lips nibbling on your ear as he continued to pound you. his grin that you feel against your skin plagues your mind, wanting nothing more than to see how he enjoys ruining you.

the catchy, upbeat pop song playing above you seemed to provide some rhythm, the sultry lyrics fuelling you further.

"so needy that i had to buy out the whole store for an hour, huh?" the male slows his pace, delivering deep thrusts into your cunt with the precision of an expert.

all you can reply are in little pants, sentences incoherent from how deep his cock is in you.

"i don't even think an hour is enough to satisfy my pretty little girl, isn't that right?" gojo picks up the speed again, and you're brought back to the many times he's fucked over his counter, washing machine. to the times where he's eaten you out on his office table and in his sheets of his king-sized.

and now, you've got another memory locked away for nights full of loneliness and soaked underwear when gojo's just too busy for you.

a tongue to your nipples and a hand to your clit makes you choke out a moan, writhing against the glass just to feel more of gojo, more of his cock and more of his lips on your neck.

you're struggling to keep yourself up, finding the right time in between muffled moans and whimpers to ask for one more wish.

"daddy... p-please, i wanna see your-"

"what, baby? repeat it for me." goddamn, the man had no problem articulating his words, how much had he fucked you already?

clearly not enough if you're still able to speak.

"w-wanna see your face when you fuck me deep, daddy!"

your wish is taken away when you're already creaming all over gojo as your hot breath creates fog on the glass in a silent scream.

"aw, you're cumming so hard baby~ you didn't even get to see me yet," he coos, enjoying the gush of your juices that coat his dick and your thighs. everything feels sticky and dirty, but you don't hesitate to beg for one more fuck with your eyes.

gojo catches your drift immediately, hips twitching from the idea of pumping you full of his cum. after all, he hasn't come yet.

he grunts at the time with a quick glance to the clock above your head. without wasting any more time, he flips you over, the restraint to cum slowly reaching its limit with your lolling tongue and fucked-out face.

the male doesn't bother to hide the deep groan that rips from his throat when he drags his dick along your folds, strings of both your juices stretching out in a way that hypnotises gojo.

"n-need your cock, daddy! please!" you whine, grinding your hips against the tip to make sure gojo knows of your desperation. that he's the only one to fuck you so good that no one else can satisfy you.

he smiles knowingly before he sinks into you.

gojo knows that he's the only one that can make you feel this way as he picks up the tempo, hitting spots in you that you didn't know was physically possible.

gojo knows that he's the only one you call daddy shamelessly as he writes off his card to help you in your student debts and the sparkly dress you've been eyeing.

he could throw you away the second you're done with university, the second the media's off his ass about his love life but, the sweet, sweet moans spilling from your lips pull him back in every single time, eager to hear it for as long as your bank's empty and his is piled up with money.

"more! satoru, more, fuuuck..." you groan, shying away from the striking blues of his eyes the more he drinks in your current state.

he's barely holding on, not even minding the first name you called him. the short skirt he'd given you flipped up makes him go crazy, your panties moved to the side to receive the dressing room quickie you always wanted.

"you're so de..eep daddy! i need all your c-cum please...!" it's a mix between a whimper and a whine.

"yeah? 'course i am, baby. your pussy is sucking me in all the w-way," gojo's hips stutters at how you squirm in his tight grasp, locking eyes with him as yours fill with want. your pussy is throbbing, stretched out so much that you don't register the thumb playing with your clit.

"s' too much...! s' too much, d-daddy!"

"you're a good girl, aren't you?" the way you nod is pathetic, eyebrows knitted from being stuffed so full.

"pretty little thing- fuuck..." gojo's losing control himself, the way his balls slaps against your cunt resonates around the small space and nothing feels better than being inches deep in you.

you're a babbling mess by then, unable to even scream out as you cream his cock. with head thrown back, you're left frozen for a second as the orgasm washes over you and a violent shudders goes through your thighs.

"daddy has so much, s-shit- cum for you, doll," it isn't long before the other comes undone, a groan escaping his lips before he shoots his load deep into you.

your pussy is stained white from all the cum he's giving you, gasping from how much gojo is leaking into you.

"thank y-you, satoru..." you trembling has affected your voice, too, burying your head into gojo's neck while your body shivers from sensitivity.

"take all of it, baby," gojo whispers, the hand near your middle moves instantly to finger his cum back into you, fixing back your underwear over your pussy.

a cheeky giggle leaves your mouth as you untangle yourself from the embrace, welcoming a kiss from the man as he slowly begins to clean up himself.

"have you chosen a dress yet, sir?"

gojo's smile is mischievous, not missing the way your face flushes at having to face the embarrassed staff outside.

"we'll take everything, thanks," his eyes never leave you as he helps you off the changing room chair, tugging your body flush to his before leaving you with one more hungry kiss.

"you did so well for daddy, doll. i may just have to treat you tonight since you have a day off university tomorrow..."

even if it wasn't in the contract, gojo loved to spoil you, admiring your mettle when it comes to material items. although...

"you know what i mean," it's enchanting, the way his voice travels like silk, "i'll call in sick for work tomorrow, yeah?"

your mind goes to mush at what tonight might entail, losing all train of coherence when his hushed whisper of my baby's so cute reaches your ear.

in a second you're out of there, hand twined with his while you remain giddy with the thought of getting used by gojo until you reach your limit.

[hhjs]

love or lack thereof.

pairing  — felix x reader

genre / trope  — angst, fluff / exes with benefits.

word count — 7.7k 

warnings  — suggestive, heavy implications, swearing, some making out but no actual r rated stuff but i will say this is suitable for 18 and up audiences. 

note  — this is unedited, subject to change. spare me lol

There are two sides to every person. The side that you want people to see and the side that you keep to yourself.

You think you've come to discover all those aspects of Lee Felix. Given that he's sweet, unassuming and inexplicably kind to the naked eye but you know, the rising anger in you knows he's only ever been cruel to you.

"Move," you seethe, he moves to let you in but you unintentionally knock your shoulder against his. There's people on the subway, and you hate the way Felix's innocent gaze finds yours for a second and it makes you look like the bad guy.

You feel the disapproving glare of a grandma who has a crumpled catalogue about seasonal pie recipes on her lap, as if she can't believe how much of a cunt you were being to an absolute stranger.

A roll of eyes follows, fishing for your ear phones, if only they knew.

Seeing your ex boyfriend outside of your casual deal hits you with the force of a punch to the gut. But you hid it exceptionally well. Arrogantly jutting your chin upwards. Whilst he cowers beside you, having supposedly caught your sour mood.

To think you had spent an hour with him in a bedroom just formerly...is rather strange. You've been sleeping with him for the past few months now and where it had begun is slightly mysterious to you — was it Chan's birthday party or a clubbing gone wrong one night stand just after Felix had come back to town....? You aren't entirely sure.

Albeit the arrangement is ingrained in your head — what you have with him is a secret strictly kept from your friends who otherwise if even caught air of a mere conversation between you two would invite an influx of queries. This is simple, physical, you don't have time for a relationship, let alone one with him and to mend how utterly lonely you are with someone who hasn't already seen you naked, someone who you couldn't blindly trust, is too much work.

Even though Felix is indubitably affected by your unwavering indifference, something he wasn't used to when you were together because of how giving you were to sate his utterly needy tendencies. Now he feels himself clawing at your hardened exterior in search of just those affections to no actual avail —hurt crossing his eyes when you sneak out of bed without saying goodbye, when days pass and you don't call or text and most importantly, when you're in public and you can't be bothered to spare him as much as a glance. To you, it's nothing more and nothing less. You make it a necessity to keep reminding him.

See you liked to pretend you're a resilient person. That in your heart you really do forgive people and move on.

But he is an exception.

"Did you eat?" He perks up, his voice is small. Careful.

You keep your stoic expression, looking ahead. "No."

Then he blinks, like he usually does when he doesn't understand why you act the way you do. Impolite, communicating only in monosyllables.

Do you really hate him that much?

There's a hoodie pulled over his black hair, longer along the neck,headphones dangling from his neck and his backpack in his hand, he hopes when he holds onto the same railing as you are, that your fingers should brush just a little.

Despite the way you adamantly ignore him, Felix opens his mouth to utter a passing inquiry. Your jaw clenches. And you desperately begin to scan the city map plastered inside to navigate passengers to their destinations.

"Can we...do you want to get something to eat..." He swallows, "together?"

As if he's crazy for even making such a proposition, you look at him once but from the corner of your eye and he thinks that's a lot considering how often you look past him, through him, never at him. You shake your head, giving him a warning stare.

Across from you, his reflection is frowning at your negative response. Still staring at you with a marveling gleam in his eyes, how much you've changed over the past two years just as he has....still takes him by surprise. Suddenly and unexpectedly, his eyes flicker to yours and he finds you staring at his image against the glassed doors. And like a deer caught in headlights, your heart drops to the depths of your stomach.

The announcement above falls deaf to your ears as you exit in a blind rush of sheer panic. Ignoring the biting cold and unfamiliar station. Your stop is still quite far. Maybe you'd have to take the taxi... or walk.

But in the face of all those hassles you sense yourself feeling incredibly relieved...because frankly, you think, you could go to hell and back if gets you away from him.

—

"So you came to tell me you're just gonna give up? Is that it?"

Felix carefully glances at you through his lashes, silently pursing his lips as to convey the answer.

You stare at the speckles of light kissing up his freckled cheeks, his big beaming eyes, a slightly low bridge but rounded tip of his nose paired with a small upturned mouth.

You can't believe you won't see him again.

Whenever he'd catch a break, he'd take the 2 hour bus to town and come see you, meet you and those once in six months meetings alone, to you, compensated for his lengthy absence.

So it couldn't be the distance, you thought, if that were the case he'd have dumped you when he moved to the capital for university.

Felix just doesn't want to be with you anymore.

"You don't get it...." He closes his eyes, as if he doesn't want to see himself saying what he is about to say, you almost don't get the resistance in his tone. The subtle drop of his Adam's apple. "I don't want to hurt you." He starts, "Just think about this rationally... we're so young, what if I find someone else there?"

Someone...else?

Is it that easy to dispose of you? Aren't you enough?

How foolish of you to only ever think of him.

It felt like Felix was kicking you where knew would hurt the most.

Your sardonic laugh is cracked, garbled and it's so fucking embarrassing that you're crying in the middle of a fast food joint, your fries have gone cold. Had you known seeing him this time would be vastly different from usual, you wouldn't have ordered at all. Why didn't he tell you before? Why had he insisted on catching you unawares?

But then again...this isn't about you at all. This is about Lee Felix. This is about him reducing your worth to make room for himself.

Ultimately, you understand, what is worse than not being loved back is being loved by someone who doesn't love you as much as you do them.

"Well I won't stand in your way then,"

You clear your throat,

"Fuck..." you rub your temple, the sadist in you coughing up hysterical laughs. The ache inside your heart at this point has turned into physical pain, cracks fissuring out against its surface and gnawing at the flesh like its being torn apart at the seams.

You should've seen this coming.

Everyone told you and told you you could only drag on an opposites attract sort of relationship for so long before you start to realise how incompatible you are.

Felix has the audacity to reach over and place his fingertips on your knuckles,his eyes are sad, overflowing with pity. It makes you feel small, the way he looks at you, small, sad and abandoned.

What tips you over the edge, however, is how calm he seems, as if he had been precisely planning to dump you for days and months and years while you continue to make a fool out of yourself never have forseen his decision.

There are tears running down your cheeks, abusing your vision with a vicious sting. You bring your sleeve to collect the needless moisture in a sudden rise of temper that is oh so typical of you.

You snatch your hand away from his touch.

"Don't touch me." You say, the simple comment transfers pain to Felix's eyes, mouth parting in silent words. You want to scream at him, you want to shake him by the collar and tell say something, just say anything at all and I will forgive you. Goddamnit.

In a perfect world, you think, a world where things happened exactly the way they should, you wouldn't have said, instead,

"And don't you fucking dare come back here...ever again."

And...in that very perfect world, he would've listened.

—

Felix thinks he could, dare he say, love everything about you. Even though you most certainly deserve someone who hasn't hurt you the way he has.

Now it's funny actually, how the tables have turned...back then, he wasn't sure about you and now you aren't about him.

Felix doesn't really blame you though...because he knows he asked for it.

Your presence in his life has somehow become an absolute necessity to say the least. And ironically enough, while he had so confidently pushed you to let go of him, he realises he had been holding onto you all along.

Now what was he saying...again?

Right. Felix loves everything about you.

But what he loves most...is the way your hand instinctively finds his heart when you're kissing. It's just a simple movement of your fingers splaying against his chest, the warmth of them seeping through the fabric of his shirt. He doesn't even know why it means so much to him.

His hand drops from your ass to the back of your thighs to situate you closer to his chest. He moans into the kiss when your teeth comes to scrape against his bottom lip, your ministrations are typically rough and speedy but he is seemingly far too absorbed by the exhilarating feeling coursing throughout his entire form — it's not just blatant lust, he knows, but a much deeper understanding that he is inexplicably gladdened by the fact that he's touching you and you're touching him.

A shaky breath leaves Felix's parted lips as he cranes his neck to allow your lingering kisses to shift along his angular jaw.

Then without quite meaning to, his vision focuses on the table clock that reads it's well past midnight...you had run late tonight for reasons you neglected to disclose. Now that he really focuses, a strong musky fragrance akin to unfamiliar men's cologne wafts up his nostrils.

It couldn't be....

As Felix's suspicions run deeper, he restlessly begins to search up every aspect of his surroundings as best as he can in the limited provision of light. There is a large coat discarded on his bed, one he hasn't seen you wear before...then again it might not be yours at all...

You notice how he's stopped responding to you, so you pause, leaning back, still on his lap. "Is something the matter?"

Felix swallows, blinking up innocently at you. This deal is simple, isn't it? He knew what he was getting into the first time you got together and the second and the third and so on, so why had the possibility of you getting involved with someone else even bother him then?

Both of you knew why.

And what's worse is that Felix is sensitive by nature, never truly succeeding to hide his emotions, especially intense ones when faced with them. So he is hyper aware of the fact that what he is feeling in the moment is not jealousy, it's neither anger nor resentment but a deep seated insecurity that he will lose you.

Again.

"Were you...with someone?"

As expected, your hands resign from cupping his face, you avoid looking at him.

"What?"

Felix clears his throat, his accent thicker, voice heavy from disuse. He thinks about something being with you in the same way only he has...and it causes a dull ache inside his chest.

He rests his head back against the sofa and shrugs lazily. As if to prove a point, as if to say did he touch you here? his fingers ride up your t shirt, gently cupping your ribs, he tries not to look too satisfied when you quiver under the touch.

Still you lift yourself up and the sudden lack of contact almost makes him whine.

You stand before him. A hand at your hip.

"Why are you acting like this?" You say and he notes you sound more... curious than annoyed. Though what frustrates him is that you hadn't answered his question. "I thought I made myself clear...there are rules we agreed upon."

Oh he knows — no staying over, no personal questions, no jealousy.

Felix purses his lips. The downside of your forwardness, the same utterly admirable trait he finds really fucking hot, the one that conditions you to tell Minho off when he hogs all of Felix's brownies though the latter himself is too much of a pushover to say anything, the same one which had in times of recurring doubtfulness assured him of your strong feelings towards him, is that you say whatever comes to mind without sparing anyone's feelings.

"I'm just asking, [........]," he lies, trying to control the pain from projecting itself onto his voice. It hurts to see the way you jump to defend yourself around him, as though you're scared he'll hurt you again. The lack of faith you have him, after all this time, causes him hurt. "Why are you getting so upset...."

Felix is gentle. Communicating his feelings through his actions rather than words, cooly, slowly. And you are the exact opposite — there is an immediacy in your conveyance, a roughness. You mean what you say and you say what you mean so you think everyone does too. Which is why, he concludes, his present actions are insufficient to remove the seeds of resentment he'd left in the wake of his bitter utterances when you broke up.

But Felix was only 18 then, a kid completely unaware of his overwhelming need to have you in his life....what matters is, he's trying...he really is, to recover from his mistakes......shouldn't that least matter?

Thinking the slight inhibition in his tone is just a figment of your imagination and that he is simply and indifferently inquiring you, you feel a wave of embarrassment wash over you. Then you drop down on the bed, feeling for his remote.

You sniff through your nose and against your better judgement say, "I went out with an acquaintance,"

On weekends Chan usually wasn't home, you could come over. This is the routine, it has been for some time now...so, you've come to know Felix's room more intimately than your own, the walls are a deep blue, like the kind of blue out of a Holly Warburton painting. There's an old Coldplay poster on the back of his door and X-Men action figures from eons ago lined on the edges of his bookshelf.

You know where everything goes when though it's dark. But that doesn't mean anything.

It shouldn't.

"A acquaintance who gave you their coat midwinter...you must be close,"

You ignore his pointed comment, he ignores the way your eyes light up when you talk about this acquaintance.

"He's nice." You say, "He walked me to the station and everything."

A happy hum comes in response.

Because when was the last time you talked to him as freely as you are?

Felix plops down on his stomach beside you, elevating his form on his elbows. His fingers come to brush loose strands out of your eyes. Your gaze meets his for the second time that week. Slower. As if you hadn't minded looking him this time. He feels his heart being tugged at all possible angles.

Then, because he can't stop himself — he leans down and kisses you, tentative and indolent, like he has all the time in the world, like all he wants to do is kiss. Don't get him wrong...you've done downright unspeakable things with him, to him...but nothing mediates his adoration for you without the employment of speech like these little chaste...purposeless movements. His fingers coming to splay against your neck, thumbing along your throat when you gulp, the tip of your nose brushing against his cheekbone, eyes fluttering shut. They're...they're intimate. Utterly special. He knows you feel it too, from the way you look slightly surprised, searching his face, eyes skimming up any fragment of emotion conveyed in his features. But you don't encourage it, slowly shifting to turn your back as you lay quietly against his chest.

"Let me stay here tonight," you say, "I'm tired."

"Okay,"

Felix thinks you've broken not one, but two rules now. He hadn't expected you to answer. He hadn't expected you to get into bed with no intention of departing either.

Though he doesn't hold it against you, this is what he wants, for you to open up to him again...after all. These changes can't be bad changes, even if they are little, it's still progress...right?

—

You wet your fingers, dipping the moistened muscle against the clay mold. All around you is not as eerily quite as it is in your apartment, footsteps thrumming against hardwood floor, kiddish humming from the kitchen, the smell of sugar in the air, you've never worked outside of your home station and well...in class. You thought of yourself as a self sufficient individualist, you liked to believe that you didn't enjoy other people's company like you did your own, with the exception of your roommate. But that's only since you aren't close enough for her to disturb you.

Yet with Soomi moved out for good, the place felt...odd to stay by yourself.

So you found yourself spending more and more time at Felix's. It's nice to have a place to crash in every now and then, the sex is great and when you get hungry after, you don't have to think twice about scouring the fridge.

You don't know why you put off spending time aside from sleeping together at all, more time spent didn't necessarily add to your deal or subtract from it....because the action itself doesn't really mean anything. Everyone gets tired of being alone at some point. That's a universal fact.

Initially, you told yourself your presence was a consequence of Chan catching you two in the shower one night...so now that the cat's out of the bag, you two figured his place could become the only premise you didn't have to play pretend in. You both knew the elder would be more than willing to keep the younger's secret even if he didn't exactly approve of it.

With the increased frequency of your visits, bits and pieces of you remain dispersed all throughout the apartment, your body wash in his bathroom, your underwear in his laundry, the smell of you in his sheets, on his clothes. You had relaxed yourself through the periphery of his life and he had small glimpses of yours, habits and flaws, unknowingly...or knowingly....whatever. — Felix could only thank God that Chan had found out, in spite of the revelation itself putting you both in a compromising position.

With time, he starts to keep a few secrets from you too, here and there, knowing that if you knew you will stop doing it altogether. He can't have that...

You throw a leg around his hip when you're fast asleep, flinging an arm not a second later to cage him in your warm embrace. Felix likes the way your chest rises and falls against his back, how your breath tickles his skin and your mouth parts against his shoulder blade. Sometimes he stays awake and waits for you to do it, then when you do, he grins so hard his face hurts a little. Felix likes being the little spoon.

"Are you listening?"

His vision narrows down to the sight of you holding out your palms in the air, there's wet clay on them, as well on your cheek and legs, between them your pottery wheel is halted to desuetude, there's old newspapers layering the floorboard to prevent staining.

"Sorry...," he smiles sheepishly, "What did you say?"

It's your turn to shift your gaze to your feet. Felix thinks it's highly uncharacteristic, the way you seem almost...shy?

"Can you..." You eye the mug mounted on his study desk, he catches onto your request easily, "I'm thirsty—"

"Yeah yeah hold on... careful," Felix chirps, carefully guiding the rim to your lips to make sure it doesn't spill. He uses the tip of his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth, you flinch first but then whilst the mild shock subsides, simply stare up at him as the pad of his thumb brushes against your skin. "There you go..." he trails, eyes bright with care.

You feel like a child being doted on, the mere emotion plunging you back to when you were 5 and had crushes on boys who shared skittles with you.

"Thanks."

Felix's ears perk up at the courtesy, you were never one to express yourself easily and when you did, every time, he felt inexplicably delighted.

The apples of your cheeks feel hot for some reason, by putting yourselves in in these small situations, you keep confusing him, you know, because you keep confusing yourself too.

You come out again that night but this time Bang Chan is shifting around in the kitchen. He hardly sleeps, you observe, but probably refusing to come out because he wanted to avoid bumping into you.

Chan doesn't seem to like you very much. Probably. You don't blame him. Before you came along, Felix and he spent more time together, now you had become a constant in his life without will.

You have to listen twice to realise he's speaking with you. Not an invisible being behind you.

"What?"

"I said..." His tone dropped dangerously low, he looks annoyed at something. "Listen I don't care what you're doing but don't hurt him." He's wearing a black t shirt and a pair of pajama shorts with cartoon wolves littered all across the baby blue fabric. He's trying to appear intimidating. It's not really working.

You stifle a laugh.

Frankly had you not known how deeply he cared for Felix, you'd not have cared about his advice. Or warning....?

"Fine," you respond, watching as the tension visibly left his body with one bating breath. "I hope this isn't about me stealing your yoghurt though."

"It's a little about stealing my yoghurt," he jokes, you think he's one of those people who'd apologise if you punched them in the face and spat in their drink. It's interesting...

Chan laughs a little. His eyes sparking with amusement for the first time of all the times he's looked at you. Did he trust your word that much?

—

"He talks about you a lot you know,"

You nearly spit out your drink. Seungmin isn't exactly the densest guy you know. Far from it exactly and he isn't discreet either. So your first instinct is to think he knows something.

You watch Felix from a distance, a solo cup in hand, he's laughing at something Hyunjin said, there's a crinkle along the bridge of his nose and his upper lip curls upwards to reveal his teeth. In reality, in everyone's eyes, your lives are separate. They walk on eggshells around you still...you assure yourself there's no way anyone could've guessed.

So you play dumb, glugging the whiskey into your cup. It spills around the edges, landing on the semi-lit neon counter.

"Who?"

Seungmin blinks at you. An unreadable expression on his face.

"Jisung." He says, "Who else?"

You feel yourself getting less excited, the breath you were unconsciously holding passing your entire form. Jisung is the newest addition to your life, a performing arts student who offered to portrait model for a project you'd been given in class. He's cute, forward, which you like a lot. And you notice whilst using him for inspiration, that he looks at you just as attentively as you had at him.

Only for different reasons.

Jisung asks for your number. You say yes. Half-heartedly. Though at the forefront of your mind you keep comparing everyone to the guy you go home to ever so often, you pick out their flaws and their perfections and you think to yourself he isn't like this, he is like this.

"Yeah?" You pose, sipping and wincing. "What did he say?"

"Just the usual stuff...." Seungmin tilts his head, he's not drinking tonight because he has an exam tomorrow. You think it's a little funny that he's carrying around water in a solo cup. "But I can tell he has the hots for you,"

You laugh this time. That's no surprise to you. "Well he's not so bad himself."

Seungmin narrows his eyes, shooting you a suspicious look.

"Of course you'd say that...." He taunts, "Heard you guys hung out...how was that by the way?"

"It was alright. Sort of just...happened. We bumped into each other and he offered to buy me dinner."

"And you...said yes?"

You give him a blank look, sarcasm dripping from your monotonous sentences, how else would you have spent time together?

"No, I didn't, Seungmin,"

The owner of the name rolls his eyes at your satirical comment, "No need to be mean, I'm just a little surprised is all."

"Surprised?"

You raise an eyebrow, Felix is still in your line of sight, it looks like he's stalling, waiting for your conversation to end so you could leave. He glances at you a few times and you quickly text him a 5 more minutes. "Why's that?"

"Cause every time you start to have feelings for someone, you take one step forward and ten steps back," he points out, "Think about it...you haven't been in like an....actual relationship after...well, you know," he postulates.

You glare at Seungmin, your pride somewhat injured.

"Hey! I've....dated."

"No....you slept around with people, that's not the same as dating." He retorts.

You snort.

Wouldn't you know.

Minho changes an upbeat pop song to something mellow. It's in a foreign language...maybe Spanish, you understand nothing but you don't have to to know it's a sad tune, the lyrics coming together in a melancholic harmony. Your eyes drift away, you feel your attention falter.

It was not unknown for you to have absolute control over your life, be it living your days by strict routine or building such a sturdy pretentious armour around yourself so that your organic self remained unscathed underneath. You had learnt the hard way that being yourself in front of other people would only bring you hurt...but if no one really knew you, no one could hurt you.

This game of hide and seek had become such a long standing practise in your life that it disconnected who you are from who you pretended to be. And every time the extent of your actual desires, monsters much beyond your control rose to the surface, they brought you shame, disgust.

You found those pretences withering away, the shell of protection around you falling apart whenever the thought of Felix crossed your mind. — his heavy noise of content against your neck, his fingers curling into your sheets, his open mouthed kiss against the arch of your hipbone, everything and anything...you had again, despite all your abrasions, become madly consumed by him.

And you must admit to yourself that you are becoming quite ridiculous because of it.

In this strange moment, you realise you almost need Felix to harp on about you even though you specifically asked him to keep all that you have a secret. You want his friends to come scurrying to you to start telling you that he cares so much he can't keep his mouth shut, to be so enamoured with you that his innermost feelings become painfully apparent, that it's utterly stupid of you to not see how he feels about you.

That's not how it goes though. Stuff like that only happens in movies.

Felix responds, texting, "Take all the time you need." Surprised, you steal a glimpse of him, but only when Seungmin isn't looking. You didn't know what you expected, something more crude, that would give away that he was jumping on the balls of his feet to only get into your pants, that would remind you that Felix is nothing but your fuck buddy. You find that you always look for reasons to resent him....because if you did, it meant that you didn't have to acknowledge how you're still in love with him.

You knew what you were in for. And hoping, wanting something more....is no more than wishful thinking.

Felix smiles at you, a genial smile, a simple curve along the corner of his lips which conveys patience, but also something deeper, like...understanding.

Again no matter how much you pushed him away he seemed to find his way back to you in some fashion, just to convey that your union is not all as black and white as you told yourself it was.

You down the entire drink in one swig. Seungmin makes a face at you, the kind he makes when you stick your fries in ice cream for shits and giggles,

"Well....we broke up a long time ago," You hiss at the awful taste stinging your throat, sounding slightly angry. You can't believe it matters still, but when you've been clutching onto something for too long, be it a painful emotion or a memory...you start to think it's the locus of your life, an integral part of you. It terrifies you to think who you'd become without it — vulnerable, malleable, sensitive.

You can't do that again.

The last few weeks, regardless of how good they were, didn't change a thing.

It couldn't. You wouldn't let it.

Seungmin is right, you think, you are taking ten steps back. Just not in the context he thought.

"There's no reason I shouldn't start now."

—

Turns out there is a reason.

Jisung asks you out the next day. He's so friendly that you feel overwhelmed. At all times of the day, he dresses like a frat boy out on his morning jog. A nike running shirt and loose fitted trousers, a baseball cap worn the other way around...it's a little silly.

You don't mind it, having the kind of apathy you would have towards someone you don't know very well.

Everything with him feels new, awkward. But also slightly exciting. He talks too much when he's nervous and you notice that he's almost always nervous because of your personality, as though he can't really put a finger on you and doesn't know what to do about it. Besides...he’s not a horrible kisser either, you muse, he just doesn’t know what you want.

Yet whenever you heard yourself thinking those compliments, you couldn't help but feel utterly guilty, a strangely deep seated feeling that you were doing something wrong.

Why did you feel this way....

Felix isn't your boyfriend anymore. You don't owe him any form of loyalty. You knew that. You're someone who sticks to their gut feelings and your gut had decided that something about seeing Jisung didn't feel right and not just because of Felix, but because you're not interested in a relationship just yet. And you're sure he could tell you aren't, he shouldn't quite expect a call back anytime soon.

"I had a nice time," you say, because it's true. He took you out for ice cream and bought you candy floss when you stared at it for too long.

When Jisung doesn't respond for a hot minute, you follow his trail of vision, which instead of focusing on you, has shifted to the semi-lit backdrop of your apartment. He's too obvious.

"Do...you want to come in?"

He flounders a little at your suggestion, embarrassed. "Would that be alright?....if I did...."

"That depends, are you gonna kill me?"

You say with a straight face. No matter much Jisung prodded at your exterior, you wouldn't budge, like you usually hadn't. Unravelling isn't really your thing so....he can't tell if you're kidding or not.

"No...?"

You snort, "Why do you sound so unsure?"

Jisung's face has grown impossibly red, he could feel his ears burning in indescribable shame. You just have this air about you that makes you incredibly hard to read and it's really attractive.

"I....I didn't..."

You keep your voice, steady, calm, "Relax," "I'm just screwing with you," you say, stepping aside for him to enter, "Make yourself at home."

—

You suppose you were born to study the arts.

You never could consider yourself a studious being. When you were in school, you remember falling behind in classes where the arduous process of revising was required, say mathematics or the sciences even.

Though that realisation hadn't come to you naturally.

Your parents wouldn't take kindly to you not taking up a "well paying" profession and you fell victim to the constant barrage of criticisms, of mockery which ultimately conditioned you to think some part of you, a large part just wasn't good enough.

And with Felix gone....

You were at your worst.

The two years you spent without him were the hardest, a set of years that obliged you to protect yourself from all the hurt around you, inside you. And while the security that you provided yourself is undoubtedly necessary for well...anyone, the process itself had its wicked way of rendering you unspeakably lonely.

You agreed to apply as an engineering major to gain your parents' approval and then transferred to the arts department by the time you'd successfully moved out. You haven't spoken to them ever since...and it hurt you more than you would deign to admit.

When your mum drops over for a surprise visit and chances upon your ex-boyfriend loitering about in your kitchen, fixing up midnight munchies, she takes a natural guess that you've gotten back together. (Which you think is far more agreeable than the truth. Knowing your mother, a staunch supporter of your relationship with him, she wouldn't take lightly to your arrangement.) And before you know it, you're all having dinner.

Felix makes an effort to dress up well, discarding his usual hoodies and joggers for a more formal look, you suspect it has something to do with the fact that you haven't attended any casual settings with him since you broke up.

Cutlery clinks against ceramic, coming down with a semi-loud thump as you try to swallow the enormous lump in your throat. Your mum makes a passing jab at you, saying how you had settled for a much "easier" major than say architecture or philosophy, she bitterly mentioned that everything worked out in the end. After all, your choice is a "much fitting" field of study for someone of your caliber, backhandedly insinuating that you're far too stupid to pursue anything else.

What inspires hilarity is how those insults still affected you. In front of Felix, you act like these few years have brought the fighter out in you and here you are trying to blink away the onslaught of tears prickling your vision. It feels like someone stripped you off your skin, off your flesh and picked out all your shortcomings for him to see.

You expect him to stay quiet, you expect him to think of you as the utterly shameful, selfish being you tell yourself you are,

But Felix's fingers find your shaky knuckles under the table where they rest on your knee, he implants the weight of them in a reassuring squeeze. "Well I think it's great," he says instead, smiling cheerfully at your mum. To which she, for the lack of support, sheepishly beams at him, "Not many people have the drive to do what they want to do. Or know what they want to do...take it from me, Missus [.....]" He laughs nonchalantly, the hairs on the back of your neck standing to attention upon hearing the lovely sound. You always liked his laugh, the sound rippling against your naked skin, thick baritone when he'd just woken up and a kiddish falsetto when he's extremely happy.

You wonder when you started paying so much attention.

Felix glances at you, lingering for a long minute."I bet it took a lot of guts."

You feel your chest constrict with a sudden surge of emotion from the mere look, you can't remember if the Felix you knew in the past, or anyone for that matter, had ever beamed at you with such pride.

You wonder what he'd think if he knew about Jisung, why you had neglected to tell him at all....you knew, because this little moment is precious to you and you had no reason to tarnish it. Not when you had time.

You tilt your head, using your free hand to hastily find the back of his neck, drawing closer to him with little strength. The more he realised what you're doing, the more excited he got. See he found your newly introduced public display of affection immensely attractive, though obviously embarassed by the sudden motion...

You can do crazy things sometimes. Really crazy things. In public and he has never opposed to such exhilarating things, be it in restrooms or even in a similar setting when you were dating, there was a certain thrill to it which drove him to the brink of insanity. Felix would silently implode your attention when you were alone and when you were out in the open, in whichever way he was to receive it, the way which insinuated you were his was the best of them all. All that was fine though...because it was just the two of you.

But now...in this indecent time, he wishes he could hear what you're thinking.

Had... had you gone completely mad?! Your mum is looking!

Your face is stoic, Felix's mouth parts, then you reach over and kiss him shamelessly.

Over the years, all the things that have caused you pain were things you had endured on your own, in his absence. This realisation alone invites a heavy conviction inside you.

Because you know it just as well as he does, no matter how sincere he is to you — you don't need Felix. Not really.

But you want him.

—

You do a stupid thing. A stupid endearing thing and Felix's heart beats like it would jump out of his mouth if he opened it.

It was meant to be a secret, what you two have, a matter of uncomplicated lust which didn't require the attention of anyone because it initially or so you put it, wasn't important enough.

Then you charge to him, he supposes it has a little to do with the person who was blatantly flirting him in the middle of Changbin's Halloween party, he doesn't care though.

You don't like embarrassing yourself, so he doesn't actually expect you to wear a black cat hairband matching his white ears and feline tail. Felix wants to think it means something, how despite the coos and the caas, the giant wave of surprise washing over your friends, you interlace your fingers within his and kiss his cheek.

He doesn't what that makes the two of you now... but he would give you all the time in the world to figure that out if it meant you could be his again.

—

You trace your fingers against outline of his face. Splatters of moist moonlight kissing the high rise of his cheeks, dusting along the long fringe of lashes which cast shadows along his skin, his freckles are like dots of bronze dispersed on his skin. He's beautiful like this.

"You're thinking too much," he says with his eyes closed, smiling a little. "Don't think so much."

You laugh. "Or what, huh?"

Felix cracks an eye open, his grin big, kiddish. "I was hoping you'd say that," he rubs the tip of his nose against your collarbone, he snuggles closer to your chest. What you hadn't expected was how he shifted his entire weight onto you, lying entirely atop you as though he were a starfish.

You couldn't stop laughing at the motion, it's so cheesy and gross...you love it.

—

Here's something you don't know — Jisung tells his friends everything, about making out with you and taking you out...everything. News travels fast. Faster than you anticipated. Despite wanting to divulge the matter, you were too taken by the recent shifts in your feelings to confess to your little interaction. You had told yourself again and again — a little later, just a little later and I’ll tell him.

It could be too late now.

The entire campus knew of your little rendezvous, shooting you curious looks... it's not until Minho comes up to verify the floating rumours do you all but sprint to Felix's place. You think of Chan's trusting eyes, of don't hurt him, of laughing in the intimacy of your bedroom and swiping your fingers down his spine like you were trying to commit the undulating design to memory.

You're not sure where it all began.

but you don't want it to end.

Felix doesn't answer your calls or your messages. When he buzzes you up, just from his gait, just from the resigned look in his eyes, you know he knows.

You watch as he listlessly leaves you to enter, walking before you without saying as much as a word.

You grab Felix’s elbow, making him stop in his tracks. He looks at your fingers wrapping around the muscle, shrugging you off easily. It’s just a small gesture but its impact is so large...that you feel your heart break into a million pieces.

You had never seen Felix being so quiet, even when he was down, he found a manner to radiate a form of optimistic energy which baffled you. You can’t believe how much you could have possibly hurt him. 

 “I can explain.” you gulp, “We went out on one date. It wasn’t because I liked him, I know it’s stupid and...I should’ve told you. I’m sorry, that's not an excuse, but you have to trust me when I say it didn’t...it doesn’t mean anything to me—”

“Did you sleep with him?”

With his back turned away, he still isn’t looking at you, speaking to you with a surprisingly stable tone.

“No.”

Felix takes a shuddering breath, one which expresses the small relief of knowing that Jisung hadn’t seen, touched you, felt you in the way that he only had, but there’s still so much more he wants to know. 

“Did he make you laugh?” 

It’s a silly question, he realises belatedly but he can’t help it. Some part of him, a large part, thinks he’d be more hurt if you made someone happy and they made you happy than if you fucked them.

You shake your head even though he can’t see you. “He didn’t.”

Your fingers again reach for his, wrapping your index into his thumb. You slowly move your hands to his middle, clutching him close to your chest, chin hooking into his shoulder, suddenly...you feel him melt into the embrace. Felix’s voice falters for the first time, small trembles against you. You’re willing to answer all his queries if it could put his mind at ease. You put your heart on hold for too long.

"Do you hate me...?" He sniffles.

You blink....did you?

Felix had changed, like you, he had matured, the past version of him you had so stubbornly ingrained in your endless inner monologue is not the one you grew all too familiar with...

Familiarity does breed contempt, does it not? Well you think the line between love and contempt is untraceable, melded together as a mysterious whole. After all those years, you were still angry, still filled to the brim with contempt for him and more importantly, yourself because you still love him much more than you'd like to admit. After all you've been through. After all this time. The need to love him ultimately encompassed every other emotion which posed itself as a hindrance.

So the opposite of love, the absence of love, you think, isn't hate, it's indifference. An emotion you never felt towards him.

Felix has wedged himself into every aspect of your life, tainted every portion of your routine in his presence and in his absence.

You don't think you'd have it another way.

"You broke my heart," you explain, "I was angry....but I could never hate you for the sake of hating you."

"I can't..." Felix whispers, twisting his body so he could look at you now, “I can’t promise you that it won’t be hard but I'm not—I’m not going anywhere...you know that right?”

You lean your forehead against his, his eyes shifting to your mouth, hands rising to wrap around your neck. You smile.

“I know.” you say, "Me neither."

“I love you...” He says in a small voice, putting his hand against your knuckles. “Do you love me?”

Your eyes soften, cupping his face like this — carefully collecting a lone tear with your thumb before it could touch his cheek. This time there is not a shred of hesitancy, no pause, no pondering before you say, 

“I never stopped.”

—

You enter in a blind rush of panic, thinking you might miss your ride, feet knocking together, elbows hitting elbows, bustling all around you and the sudden overwhelming stench of people hit you, it’s not an ideal setting, not at all actually. 

But you couldn’t bother to be displeased a second you spent with him. A teenager rolls her eyes at how disgustingly in love you are, elderly couples tutting under their breath...albeit, you don’t fail to notice their subtle smiles, small shake of their heads which attested to the fact that the joy you both radiate is.. absolutely infectious. You stumble with him behind, Felix is laughing breathlessly, bumping into your chest as the train suddenly starts moving, you place a finger on his cheek and he raises his chin to look at you.

“Did you eat?” he repeats, mocking himself, a dialogue from a time which seems an element of the distant past replaced by a love which compensated for every hitch in your relationship. You still argue, still disagree and still make up the same. Felix was right, it isn’t easy.

But when two people love each other as much as you do,

it’s worth trying. With every fibre of your being.

“No.”  You laugh, playing along, “But I could, with you.”

[extravaguk]

sweets&ink

part of my opposites attract! series. 

ksj / knj / myg / jhs / pjm / kth 

pairing: tattooartist&tattoed!jungkook x baker!reader

summary: jungkook was everything you feared but exactly what you needed to heal your broken heart.

wordcount: 5k

genre: fluff - angst - smut (s2l!au)

rated: m (?

warnings: some cursing, mentions of past abusive/toxic relationships/trauma that might be triggering, a lil of making love at the end. it’s overall just suuper fluffy, trust me. jungkook is a s i m p. we love that for him! slow burrrnnnn.  

Jungkook knows it was love at first sight, but doesn's know how to really explain it.

He knew from the moment he entered the small shop, pastel green walls welcoming him  replete of sugary treats, a sweet and heavenly scent engulfing him as soon as he stepped a foot inside.  With a new found sense of calmness and serenity within he hadn't experienced in a long time, he searched for deserts of his liking, mouth watering while assessing the many options of baked goods available and bright colored frostings stealing his attention.

"Hi. How may I help you?"

Then he looked up and found you. It wasn't easy to appreciate your whole appearence with the counter hiding the lower half of your body, but it was enough for Jungkook to think to himself that he had never seen a prettier girl in hiis entire life. And that's when he knew it. Any type of movement in his surroundings coming to a halt, his heart skipping a beat, his favourite song playing inside his head. And that particular sensation. The same one that had made him feel so at ease since he found your bakery. For a moment he thought his doe eyes might have actually turned into heart eyes until you raised your eyebrows, a concerned expression replacing your previous warm smile. 

Blinking his eyes and clearing his throat, coming down from cloud nine into the real world, he stuttered his order as best as he coud manage, heart pounding inside his chest and later feeling mortified for not being able to pronounce "gingernap cookies" correctly. 

At first he kind of hated Seokjin for blackmailing him into going to his favourite bakery to buy his favourite cookies (Jungkook really should've known better than accidentally spill ink all over Jin's new script), but when he comes back home with a goofy smile on his face and dreams of your face, he makes sure to text him he'll go get his cookies anytime he wants.

But Jungkook is a masochist apparently. 

Because a week after your first encounter he realizes that not being able to get his mind off a girl he's literally only seen once in his entire life is not exactly normal. Not for anyone, but especially not for him. Realizes that the way he embarrassed himself in front of you and probably looked like a bluberring mess (or a creepy weirdo who had never interacted with any woman before) is not reason enough to not keep wanting to try again. And the way you just giggled at him and simply shook your head as you wrapped the ginger cookies he had asked for in a pretty packaging has kept him aching for more. 

So he comes once a week now. Still as nervous as the first day, but content to see that your face seems to light up at the sight of him stepping through the door the same way his does. He likes to see you in your cute pastel dresses, and if he didn't know better he'd think you were just trying to keep up with the bakery's aesthetic. But the more he frequents your shop, the more he realizes you're exactly like the treats you bake. He likes how your vividly honeyed persona contrasts with his darker and reserved one. Likes how you're all colors of the rainbow and he's just a scale of greys.

They are small interactions. Just courtesy and cordial exchange of words everytime he visits. He doesn't even know your name and you don't even know his, but sometimes he asks how was your weekend and sometimes you ask how many people had he inked that week. Sometimes he tells you how pretty you look, and sometimes you blush in response. Sometimes you add an extra macaron in his order and sometimes he debates on whether or not he should write down his number on a napkin and slide in right on the countertop before he waves goodbye. 

And although Jungkook has never been one to shy away from women, he feels a certain way he can't exactly pinpoint. A way that makes his confidence falter and leaves him feeling like a little kid who's afraid to confess to the girl he likes. Because as cliché as it sounds, you're not like any other girls he's ever met. You don't feel like any other girl he's ever met. Not the older than him, tattoed and pierced type of girl he's accustomed to; not the type of girl that's addicted to trouble and believe him (maybe even hoped) to be something he's not. So it takes a while for him to summon up enough bravery and determination. It takes weeks of pining and overthinking, and a single push from Yoongi ('stop being a fucking pussy and just do it') to ask you to have coffee with him.

"I... I'm sorry. I can't."

And it only takes those words leaving your mouth to shatter his heart into pieces. 

 It's fine though, he told you and himself. He wasn't going to be one of those guys who believed the 'friendzone' was an actual thing and tried his best to not make you feel uncomfortable, really tried his best to erase the guilt across your face as you rejected him.  So he scratched the back of his head and mustered up a big smile before leaving the shop with a bag full of cupcakes and an unsettled stomach.

Letting out a deep breath you didn't even know you were containing, you observe as the handsome stranger exits the shop. Running a hand through your hair before gripping the counter with your hands, you try to steady the heavy throbbing insde your chest. 

The boy in question had been unknowingly tormenting you and flooding your mind with thoughts of him for almost two months now. That day you first had spotted him eyeing the desserts in display in amazement and then you in the very same way. It was sudden and precipitated, but it had almost made your head spin, something you hadn't felt in a long time unexplainable tugging at your insides. 

You had kept your cool as best as you could, as best as you had taught yourself in the past. Wrapped those cookies he had asked and then waved goodbye, hoping under your breath he wouldn't come back but silently wishind he would. But then he did. He came back once. And then again. And again, and before you realized he had become a frequent costumer. Trying whatever treats you'd recommended him, creating small talk, sending friendly smiles here and then. 

You had learned to expect him at the very same time, the very same day of the week; had learned to manage the fluttering in your tummy and the reddish warmth spreading through your cheeks whenever the eye contact was prolongued. Everything was innocent, it was brief and, most importanly, it never went beyond, even if sometimes you hoped it did.

However, after all these years, there was still something you hadn't learned to control yet. And as he spoke, clearly nervous, hesitant and clearly out of his comfort zone, wondering out loud if he could ever treat you to a coffee sometime, your body shut down. The fondness and excitement you had been harboring over the last few weeks quickly replaced by that which made you want to recoil, made you want to back to your well to let its darkness and loneliness envelop you.

That horrible and ugly wave of crippling fear and axiety all mixed together; a little monster that you had successfully concealed, now displaying its ears in warning and the same smile that had been haunting you for years, now advising you, reminding you and most of all, threatening you, to go back to your own comfort zone. And so, powerless, there was nothing else you could really to but to comply, muttering an apology and a rejection that probably pained you more than it pained the boy in front of you.

You knew you did the right thing, but it definitely didn't feel like it. 

Especially a week later, as you expected his arrival- as always, ready with a tray full of fresh baked scones you had particularly made just for him, but were left severely disappointed when time passed and he was nowhere to be seen. Or two weeks later, after spending an extra hour making cake pops that you had specifically designed with him in mind (covered in dark chocolate and white sprinkles), only to realize it was closing time and that he never even showed up.

 To say you were bummed was an understatement. You knew you always looked forward to him coming in every week to grace your day with a smile and a polite talk, but you didn't come to terms with how much you would miss it until now. So three weeks later, you still bake with him in mind, trying not to lose hope but still chastising yourself for not being brave enough and accepting his offer. It was just a coffee date, for God's sake, not a marriage proposal! Trying to busy your mind with work and customers coming in and out, even if your eyes dart in anticipation everytime you hear the door swinging. 

When hours pass and the sun hides to make room for the moon and stars into the sky, you look at the clock and, with a defeated sigh, finish cleaning and tidying around the shop. But before you can gather your things, the door swings open and there stands the stranger you had been praying to see again. 

"Am I too late?" he asks, and you don't exactly know but can tell his words hold a double meaning. You smile, a genuine smile, because he looks bashful with a hand scratching the back of his head like he had done the last time you saw him, and because there's a warm sensation spreading through your chest, like your heart is smiling for you. 

"I was about to close, but I can make an exception." you accomplish to say and surprisingly don't sound as nervous as you feel. He mirrors your smile as he walks closer to the counter. "So, what would you like?" 

That takes him by surprise because he really had nothing in mind when he decided to come here and now he feels like an idiot. 

"Uh, um... I would like... maybe cupcakes?" he sounds like an idiot too. But you nod and smile at him and start gathering his cupcakes into a polka dot cardboard box.

"You missed the cake pops I made last week." you say, trying to keep your voice in check as he hands you his credit car. "I think you would've liked them."

"Ah, sorry... Work has been really hectic." and even if it's true, it's also true the fact that he chickened out and was frightened to face you again. He likes how even when you're alluding to his absence, there's not a malicious tone behind your words. He likes how you're still smiling at him even after he's been acting like a pussy for two weeks. But that's why he's here. "I also would like to apologize for... you know. I didn't-...If I made you feel uncomfortable, I'm really sorry."

With your eyebrows raised, your smile dissipates. "What? No, you didn't do anything wrong, really. It's not- It's not that. I just...can't." you stumble through words, trying to explain how much you actually wanted to go to that coffee date, to get to know his name and more of himself, but unavailable to. You can feel it again. The same anguish that always seem to creep up on you and numbs you altogheter. But him, worriedly sensing your distress, waves his hands in front of him.

"No, no. It's fine, you don't have to explain anything! It's alright!" his smile seems to soothe you and you return his smile in gratitude. "Anyways, I'll... I'll get going. See you next week?"

You nod, anticipation already making its way into you. "See you next week." and then he takes the box filled with cupcakes and says goodbye. Before he can open the door though, a tingle of impulsivity and fearlesness makes you say:

"I'm _____, by the way."

He pauses, clearly taken aback.

"Jungkook."

Jungkook hasn't stopped repeating your name in his head ever since you gave it to him, grinning like a fool and thinking about how good it sounds next to his. He hasn't stopped frequenting your bakery either and has lost count on how much money he's spent on muffins and whatever else you sell. He doesn't care though. All he cares about is how much likes seeing you even if it's only for fifteen minutes in your floral dresses, and as long as you keep looking like you're glad to see him every time, then he's fine. 

He's more than fine. He feels amazing. Sings tunes while he works on customers, feels his creativity flowing more than ever and he feels whole. It still baffles him how a minimun interaction with you once a week can make him feel on top of the world. 

He's got a bouquet of white and pink lillies next time he visits, so sappy and romantic he doesn't even recognize himself. He doesn't tell you he googled their meaning and his mind instantly associated them with you. Purity is exactly what he thinks of you and admiration is exactly how he feels about you. Hands it to you and the surprised look on your face and the spreading of pink all over your cheeks makes his heart burst. You thank him and he tells you he didn't know what your favourite flower is. You answer it's carnations. He writes it down somewhere in his mind, for next time. And then you're the one surprising him.

"Would you like to have coffee sometime?" 

There's uncertainty in your voice that doesn't go unnoticed by him, and for a moment he thinks he's dreaming. He's cool with what he's got right now with you, but you repeating his words back to him makes him feel euphoric, like he can't believe it. He knows he looks dumb, the way he's looking at you. 

Completely dumbfounded. He stutters like the first same he met you, but he says yes (omits the part where he tells you he could almost die). You exchange number in each other's phones with shaky hands, set the day and hour, and then wave each other goodbye. 

You instantly regret it as you watch him leave. Keep regretting it the following days. That voice in your head telling you 'it'll happen again', telling you fairytales didn't exist and this most likely wasn't one, even if it felt like it was, suffocating you like it had done many times before. Screwing with your head until you consider canceling. 

But you power through it, like you had taught yourself to do. This time it's harder though. Because this time there's a new romantic interest at hand, one that's making you feel things you buried a long time ago and made you swear to yourself you'd be smarter and stronger than any man could. 

It's Hoseok's encouraging words that help ease the panic. It was also Hoseok's words who encouraged you to ask Jungkook out. Said you deserved something good for once and that you couldn't close yourself to love your entire life. 

Thought it was time for you to write a new chapter after a rather sad one. 

So on Saturday, Jungkook insists on picking you up and it already feels like too much for you. Especially when he shows up with a bouquet of carnations in his hand and a smile that takes your breath away and definitely doesn't help to ease your nerves. 

Takes him by surprised how pretty you look.  maybe because it's the first time he's seen you out of your shop and even though you're still loyal to your clothing style, he still fumbles with his words like an idiot to try to express how beautiful you look. Seeing he's as much of a mess as you settles you a little bit. Then he takes you to a cute café that almost makes you laugh, because seeing him, inked arms and piercings and a closet that consisted mainly of black oversized t-shirts and pants in such a bright environment reminds you of the first time he entered your shop. 

You're surprised to see how well the conversation rolls, how easy it is to talk to him beyond the usual brief interactions you two have. You like how he makes you laugh and how he seems to love hearing it. You like how his attention is solely focused on you, even if his gaze on yours sometimes feels too intense and his overall character intimidates you. You like how soft spoken he is, how careful he is with words and the sound of his voice. Sounds like a lullaby without melody. 

And when the date is over, he drives you home, walks you to your door and respectfully wishes you a good night. You kiss him on the cheek spontaniously before hiding the embarrassment on your face and stepping inside your home. You miss the way he stays at your doorstep for a whole minute before getting in his car and driving himself home. You also miss how peacefully he sleeps that night, dreaming of cupcakes and you. You don't miss the heart emoji he sends you before going to bed, making yours quiver.

You're glad you didn't cancel, and now you're sure you don't regret it at all

It goes on. The dates, getting to know each other more and more, Jungkook's visits to your shop and spending way too much money on sweets and carnations, the butterflies in your stomach everytime he's near and the birth of something inside of you that's starting to make you feel alive after feeling dead for so long. 

It's still new, still wholesome, moves in slow motion. You're glad Jungkook doesn't push, doesn't ask for anything, never demands more than a kiss on the cheek everytime he drops you off. He is nothing like he looks like, you realized that right away.

But with every brand new beginning that requires feelings like this, especially as unique and exceptional as the ones Jungkook is causing within you, comes the evil monster trying to scare you off, to make you back off and remind you that not everything that shines is gold. The voice inside your head that keeps bewitching you back into a dark room, reminder in your head everytime that one day Jungkook will want more. He'll want more and you might not be ready to give it to him. 

A voice that keeps resonating and has kept you unmoving for the past few years and now is making you feel more frightened than ever. 

You've been more quite than usual and Jungkook can tell something is not quite right. It's a friday night, and after having dinner that he insisted on paying, he decided this time to drive you away, to a secluded space somewhere where you both can appreciate the city lights on the hood of his car. He can tell, so he asks you, but you give a vague answer. He wants to ask again, but he's afraid of overstepping your boundaries. He wants to get to know you in every level, want's to scratch the surface until he can see everything. He wants to learn you inch by inch. Wants to love every part you bare to him, because he's sure he will. 

"My ex partner was abusive."

You finally say with a voice that's not entirely yours, and it doesn't feel real. Doesn't feel real to say out loud and letting the words sink in. It's taken all this time of excusing behaviors that were not excusable, trying to make light of a situation that wasn't and blaming yourself for things that you were not to blame for. Jungkook stays silent, but his attention immediately focused on you as soon as you spoke. Eyes slightly wide and mouth starting to open as if to speak himself. But you go on.

"Not physically." you swallow a lump in your throat. "Sometimes he would throw things at me, but they didn't always land. Or... one time he pushed me while we were arguing. Never raised his hand at me though. It was mostly psychological and emotional. He was extremely jealous and possesive. Didn't like me hanging with my friends, would never bring me to hang out with him and his friends. Though I' was cheating on him with anyone. The cashier at the supermarket, a randome dude on the street that simply looked at me. Anyone." tears prickle your eyes, but you'd learned to hold them back.

"He would always get mad at me. Would already wake up angry and take it out on me. Without reason. Would always blame me for everything. He would get mad, insult me, call me any terrible name you can imagine, tell me I wasn't worth shit. That I wasn’t worth living.Then he would punch the wall, or break whatever was in sight. Everytime, I told him I was terrified of him. Would cry in a corner and beg him to stop. Sometimes he would just laugh at me for it." you sniff, still looking straight at the city lights, and trying to keep a composed tone throughout. You had grown up a lot since then, and you knew Jungkook deserved to know you. He deserved to understand. 

"Then he would calm down, apologize while he cried and promised he loved me and would change. He never did. It took me a long time to finally walk away, but the demons still haunt me to this day. You," you choke, because comparing your ex to the guy currently sitting next to you was like day and night, like heaven and hell. "You make me feel things I've never felt before. I always felt like asking for respect was asking for too much. And then here you come, like a knight on shining armour ready to sweep me off my feet. It felt like a dream. Still does..."

Jungkook's hands are balled into tight fists, his whole body rigid as he listened to you. His own heart breaking, like he could feel himself inside you and experiencing your own heartbreak. His blood's boiling, jaw so tight and eyes blinking. Pushing down his anger, because this is about you not him, he lets his body relax before sliding your hand in yours. 

"I like you so much,_____, it literally kills me at night how much. Not as much as hearing all of this, though. From the moment I saw you, I was whipped. I wanted and still want to give everything I can to see that smile of yours. It's me the one who can't believe you're paying me any attention at all." you're still not looking at him, but he still sighs in relief when your lips quirk up. "Just having you here next to me and letting me take you out on dates is more than enough for me. Whatever you give me, whatever your terms are, I'm content with that. You're healing, and while you do, I'll be right here."

You look at him now, not bothering to hide the tears streaming down your face anymore.

"What if I never heal completely?" there's fear in your voice as your eyes meet his, but just the dark brown in his gaze help you feel secure, less worried about the future and more serene about the now.

"I'll still be here."

It doesn't take long for you to call it love.  

Not when Jungkook keeps proving himself to be so different and so special. Not when his gestures never cease to make you feel so special, so worthy of recieving and sharing love. Because Jungkook makes you feel invincible, makes you feel one in a million. 

"What to you even see in me? We're like, polar opposites." you ask him one day. And it's true, you are. So different from each other, yet the same. He laughs in disbelief, shaking his head, still holding your hand in your doorstep about to kiss your cheek goodnight. 

"I see everything." he simply says, eyes boring into yours in adoration. "I see the sun, and the moon, the stars, the entire galaxy when I'm with you." your heart clenches as he interlaces his fingers with yours. "Before I met you, I felt like I was blind. Like I was lost and was looking for an exit that I couldn't find. But then I saw you, in your little bakery, with your cute dresses and those eyes, and it was like my eyes opened for the first time. Everything made sense. Everything has been filled with so many colors ever sinc-" 

You shut him with your lips on top of his, emotions pulling at your heartstrings the same way you pull him down by the neck. He takes a few seconds to respond, but then this hands are dropping to your waist, their warmth immediately spreading through your skin against the chilly night.

"Would you like to come in?" you whisper, breath fanning over his lips. He nods, hurriedly, and he knows he looks like a damn idiot for the hundredth time, but he doesn't care. Because coming in doesn't only mean stepping in your home. Coming in means you're letting him in. Means you trust him, means you want him there, means you're allowing him inside your heart. 

Again, Jungkook doesn't expect nor demands much. Your presence is everything he needs. You kissing him is like winning the lottery to him. Like completing a marathon, like climbing the Everest, like getting his first tattoo. Kissing you is sweet, fills him with something strong that makes him feel on drugs, like nothing matters but you and him. Like nothing has ever mattered to neither of you. 

So it's you who leads him to your room, it's you who straddles his thighs and pushes his hair back as his hands carress your sides. It's nothing fiery. It's slow, tentative, and full of care. Of lingering touches, low sighs against each other's mouths. 

It's you who reaches inside his shirt, hand sneaking past the hem of the fabric and trembling cold fingers coming in contact with firm skin. It's also you who asks for more with a small roll of your hips. It's you who asks him to take his shirt off. It's him who complies. Still tells you you don't have to, you tell him you want to. 

It's you who asks him to touch you. He's scared like he's never been, because you're you, and you're so perfect and everything he's ever wanted and suddenly he's afraid of you're too good for him. Jungkook only wants to make you happy, never wants to see you cry, just wants to treat you the way you deserve. 

It's you who begs.

It's you who tells him you need him. Need him take care of you, need him to show you much you're worth, need him to help you write a new chapter, probably even a new book where you're both the main characters and nobody else has ever existed. You say it with tears in your eyes, and he's quick to kiss them away, tongue entangling with yours. He's quick to undress you as well, with hands that still ask for permission even after you've granted it already. Hands and lips that are also quick and eager to learn your body, to find every mole in your skin as he lays you back to look at you in admiration. He keeps kissing you. From head to toe, muttering praise, making sure every 'beautiful' and 'gorgeous' and 'perfect' that leave his lips stay fire engraved in your being forever. 

He first makes you cum with careful fingers and skilled tongue, thighs wrapped aro around his head, eyes still looking for yours as his hands keep your body still and yours crumple the sheets beneath. Tells you how good you taste, how long he's been dying to have you like this. Tells you this you his favourite sight as he kisses his way up. 

You beg him again, asking him to please, please, fill you up. He groans against your mouth and he tells you again, you don't have to. He says he's happy like this. Repeats he's in no rush and just wants to please you and make you feel good. That it's about you, and will always be about you. You beg him again, and again and again, enticing him with a trail of wet kisses down his neck, up to his eralobe. You whisper there, tell him you need him to fill you with his cock so bad. His whole body goes rigid as your legs wrap around him, legs pulling him closer to where you want him, his erection grazing your entrance and his teeth nibble your lower lip. 

Jungkook doesn't move for a while, eyes closed shut, jaw clenched and head buried in your neck. He doesn't move because his mind is somewhere else keeping him stagnant, pussy wrapping around him so good and wet and tight he's about to bust. Takes a while for him to move, but when he does he makes sure to grip your thighs around him, keeping you close, never wanting to let go as he tells you you were made just for him. Just for him. Tells you how good you feel. He tells you he loves you. Kisses your lips as you sob, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. He tells you he loves you. Tells you he'll love you forever and will always keep you safe and happy. 

You're crying now, cheeks wet and he stops for a moment to look at you, concern written all over his face as his hands craddle yours, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. "We can stop, baby." You shake your head no. Pull him back into another kiss, urging him to go on. You tell him you love this, love him so much. That it's a good thing. That they are happy tears. That you've never been happier. And then his hips start moving again, your words egging him own, soft whimpers and sobs leaving each other's throats until you cum at the same time. 

He then removes himself from you, rolling onto your side but he's quick to pull your body close, arms wrapping around you and lips kissing away the wet stains on your cheeks. 

It doesn't take long for you to know Jungkook would be the healthy forever and after you had always dreamed of.

[futuremrsreid]

Baby Steps

Request: @gubswh0re requested: "hi! could you do 20,25 & 48 from the promt list all in one? would be amazing, thank you!!"

Summary: A case gone wrong and Spencer blames himself. Reader tries to make him feel better.

Couple: Spencer Reid x reader

Category: hurt/comfort, angst, a bit of fluff if you never felt happiness before

CW: sad as fuck uhm I lowkey broke my own heart but its also really sweet

Word Count: 1,9k

If I had to describe Spencer Reid handling his emotions in two words, they would be “quiet suffering”. In the two years I have known him he only opened up a handful of times. Not in the sense of him never talking about his past or things that happened to him, but whenever he talked about these things, he tells them like one of his facts. He tells you that his mother has schizophrenia, but he doesn't tell you how he feels about it. It always reminds me of a medical anamnesis.

On rare occasions, he would break. Everything became too much, even for him. I remember the first time I witnessed it very clearly. It was after he visited his mom for a few days and, from what he told me, she was in such a bad condition that she didn’t even recognize him. He was devastated and when he was on his way back he drove straight to my apartment, not knowing how to deal with everything. Spencer didn’t call or text before he arrived there and saying I was surprised when I opened my door doesn't even come close. His eyes were bloodshot and it looked like he hadn’t slept for weeks. Truth be told, I was very overwhelmed so I did the only thing I could think of. I pulled him inside and hugged him as hard as humanly possible. 

In the office everyone always jokes about Dr Reid and his fear of human touch, but he hugged me back so hard that breathing became just a little difficult, and in that moment I realized the reason he doesn’t hug people isn’t because of his fear of bacteria. It’s because of the closeness of it. My heart cracked then.

The next discovery I made was that Spencer is a quiet cryer. I didn’t even notice it until his tears started seeping through my shirt and I could feel the wetness. I don’t know how long we stood there, but when I could feel him calming down a bit, I pulled away just enough to be able to look at him. He was extremely embarrassed and started to pull away completely to cover his face with his hands, but I’m too stubborn for that, so I grabbed his wrists and made him look at me. He started crying again then. 

It took an hour until he started telling me what got him so upset and after that we talked the whole night, about his mother, her sickness and everything related to it. I always hoped that he would open up about it eventually, but when he finally did, I couldn’t handle it very well. I tried not to cry myself, but that is hard when the person you love most breaks down in front of you like that. 

That night I held him close, let him lie on my chest, played with his hair - everything to try and make his pain go away. And after that day I thought things would have changed, that he would stop hiding and open up more to me,  but I was very wrong. When he woke up the next morning he apologized about a hundred times and no words or reassurance made him less ashamed. Afterwards he tried to act like nothing had ever happened.

So in conclusion: I had done a lot of difficult tasks in my life, but getting Spencer Reid to talk about his feelings was by far the most difficult. Nonetheless, today was one of those rare days.

We just came back from a really shitty case that resulted in more victims than it should have due to the police department holding back evidence. It was messy and frustrating and exhausting. Spencer was there when one of the victims was shot and he blamed himself for not preventing it, even though we all told them that there was no chance that he could have done it.

And as if the case itself wasn't bad enough, we were stuck for more time back in the office to do the paperwork. When the clock turned 8 pm Hotch came out of his office to tell us to go home. We all sighed in relief and started packing up our things. All of us except a particular dr. He was still sitting at his desk, typing away on his computer. I watched him for a while, contemplating what to do, and after everyone said their goodbyes, I walked over to him.

“Come on. I’ll take you home”, I said, leaning on his desk trying to catch his eyes with mine. No luck.

“I still have work to do, I’ll take the subway home later.” He continued typing like i wasn’t even there and I got frustrated. The case was already bad enough and I would not stand here watching him torture himself.

“That wasn’t a request, Spencer.” I didn’t intend to sound so harsh but hey, at least it made him look at me. “We are gonna leave. Now.” He opened his mouth to protest and closed it again, he knew better than to argue with me. My eyes said it all: If he would stay, I would stay. And since Spencer Reid cares about everyone but himself, he closed his computer and packed up his things.

The walk to my car was quiet, and so were the first 5 minutes of driving. I kept glancing at him from the driver's seat, but he was looking out of the window, lost in thought. The guy on the radio made a stupid comment and normally he would have immidiatly complained, but it seemed like he didn’t even hear it. His brain is a beautiful place with a million facts and ideas, yet I can imagine how scary it can be as well. When Spencer gets really lost in his thoughts he begins to spiral and I can just guess that that is what happened at that moment. Only then I came to the conclusion that he wanted to stay and work because that would distract him from anything going on inside. 

“Talk to me, Spence.” My tone was pleading, practically begging at this point.

“I’m fine, y/n.” I sighed. I was thinking about just letting it go, but then I thought about him alone in his apartment, stuck in this beautiful scary brain of his. I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how. I took a deep breath. If you're lost, stick to what you know.

“Do you trust me?”

“What?”, he turned to me with a quizzical expression on his face.

“Do you trust me?”, I asked again, looking him in the eyes this time.

“Of course I trust you. Why are you even asking me this?”

“We’re making a detour. I’m gonna show you something.” My words didn’t leave room for questions so we just fell silent again. He continued to watch me with a questioning look, but i tried to ignore him. I was too focused on taking the right turns anyway. It was hard to find my way in the dark, but 5 minutes later we were there. I got out of the car and waited for Spencer to do the same and after he did, he seemed more confused than ever. I walked over to the familiar building and fished for a key at the same moment. 

“What is this place?”

“It’s an art gallery. My mom used to work here.” I found what I was looking for and started to unlock the door.

“And you just have a key to this place?” If the circumstances were different, I would have laughed at his confusion, however, the circumstances weren’t different.

“Yep.” The door opened and I looked for the light switch. “Come on, just follow me.” 

I led us up the 5 flights of stairs and then, after 2 more doors we were finally there. The place that has been the only place I called home for the years before I joined the team.

“Are you sure we should be doing this? We’re not breaking in right now, are we?” At this I did laugh. I stepped further onto the rooftop. 

“Relax Spence, we are not breaking any laws.” He was still hesitant so I took his hand and pulled him to the edge. The railing was high, meaning there was no danger of falling down. I let go of his hand and leaned on it. The building was on a small hill and since it had a few stories, you were able to look over a big part of the city. It was always a beautiful view, but that night was extra special. It was a Friday in the late summer, which didn’t only mean the sky was clear, there were also a lot of traffic lights and buildings that shone bright. 

I just watched and after a few minutes Spencer stood beside me and did the same. Some time passed before I broke the silence.

“How many people are living in the US?” He didn’t hesitate before answering. It was like a reflex for him by now. I liked to ask random questions all the time and to this day, he always had an answer.

“331.002.651 people.” I paused for a few seconds.

“You can’t protect all of them, Spencer.”

“Y/n I-”

“I mean it, Spence. It is humanly impossible to protect everyone. You can protect some of them, maybe even a lot, but you won’t ever be able to do that if you keep beating yourself up over incidents like today.” He sighed and opened his mouth to speak, but I wasn’t done. “I know how you feel and I know it’s not easy. There was no chance for you to save that girl, Spencer. Zero. And if you can’t accept that, you will lose yourself. And then you won’t be able to save anyone anymore.” I know it was harsh, however, sometimes that's the only language he understands.

“You could have said all of that in the car.” He paused. “Why did you take me here?” I didn’t expect him to comment on what I said. He knew I was right, that’s all I needed.

“My mom sometimes took me with her on her shifts and after she was done we would go up here. After she died the owner gave me a key so that I could come here every time I needed it. Or needed her.”

“Do you come here often?”

“Not anymore. This place was the only thing making me feel at home for years and I came almost every day, but when I started working at the BAU I stopped going here more and more. And now I don’t really need it anymore, because my apartment finally started feeling like home. Especially when you are there.” I looked at him while saying that last sentence and I saw him smile for the first time in days. His eyes caught mine.

“Thank you, y/n.” Those words could have many different meanings. Thank you for taking me here. Thank you for staying. Thank you for making me feel better. But it didn’t matter what he meant, because I knew.

“Do you want to go home?”

“I think I’d like to stay for a bit longer.”

And that's what we did. We stayed there for hours. That night we talked through every possible way of how Spencer could have acted differently, yet every scenario ended with the death of that girl. After that he finally accepted that it wasn’t his fault. Baby steps.

[supercorpkid]

The price of magic.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader

Word Count: 2210.

Turns out the price of magic was higher than you had anticipated. You’ve been away for more than a year, but for your family it was nothing but a week. Sure they’ve missed you and they were out there looking for you with no clue of where you could have gone. But for you?

A year in Storybrooke was experiencing your life as you’ve always imagined. Being yourself in its totality. No Luthor name hanging over your head, no hiding yourself behind glasses or a red and blue superhero suit. It was being both Kryptonian and human at the same time, with no fear of judgment or dislike.

Storybrooke was like going on a super long vacation; so long it made you forget all of your problems. But that doesn’t mean that your problems went away. They came back as soon as you stepped foot in National City.

The price of magic was feeling guilty for being happier somewhere else. It was walking into your bedroom and feeling at home but also somehow not at all. It was walking around the craziness of National City and feeling suffocated like you’re in a crowded room full of empty faces. It was missing the words ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’ when people were referring to you. It was having a crazy number of options of take-out food but wanting nothing except the food in Granny’s diner.

And you weren’t the only one to pay the price. You can feel how high it was for Kara and Lena too.

“Mom?” You sit up on the bed, looking at Lena standing in your bedroom watching you sleep. “What are you doing creeping over my bed at-” You look at your alarm clock. “3 in the morning?”

“I had to be sure you were still here.” Lena says, sounding small and scared.

“Mom, I’m not going to disappear from my bedroom in the middle of the night.” You say, trying to reassure her, but it backfires you.

“You can’t blame me for thinking that, because you did.” She holds your arm, and you hear the cry in her cracked voice.

“Would you feel better if you stayed here with me?” You make space for her. Lena hum in agreement, lying next to you. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m even more.” She kisses the back of your hand. “A whole year without us. You were probably so scared we weren’t looking for you.”

“I knew you were.”

“You got so tall, and we weren’t even there to see it!” Lena complains and you give her a sad little smile, even though she can’t see your face at all in the darkness of your bedroom.

“Well, I chose a weird age to have a growth spurt .” You joke, but you don’t get a laugh in return. You sort of always knew when you would get taller. It was the same with Kara. You were always very anxious to turn 17, because that was the age she actually grew more. But the weird thing is that you’re not really 17 now. Like Kara is not really 70.

“Come here.” Lena hugs you and you settle back. You’re almost drifting off to sleep when she whispers. “Don’t ever leave again.”

You can’t promise that you won’t. Stranger things have happened in your life, you don’t really feel like you have control over that anymore. And weird as it may seem, you also don’t want to have control over that. Because if you had, if you could have chosen, you probably wouldn’t have met some of the people that you love so much now.

“Hey!” You walk in the kitchen, to both Kara and Lena still having breakfast despite how late already is. “What are you two doing?”

“Having breakfast.” Kara explains, like it isn’t obvious.

You look at the clock. “It’s nine.” You raise an eyebrow at them. “And it’s Monday.”

“Yes.” Lena agrees.

“On Mondays you go to work, and Kara does her usual Kara’ stuff.”

“You were gone for a week. Even if L Corp burned down in flames I wouldn’t leave your side today.” Lena answers you, and you smile softly. You look at Kara next.

“Oh, well, if L Corp was burning up in flames I probably would have to go to put out the fire.” She says but adds in a hurry. “But I would be here five seconds later!”

“Ok.” You chuckle. “I thought I would go see Jamie and Maya on their lunch break, but if you two want me to stay-”

“No! Baby, no. Go see your cousin and your girlfriend. They were missing you too.” Lena hands you your phone. “There’s a lot of texts from them.”

“Oh, a phone! God I haven’t had one in a while.” You smile scrolling through your messages, ignoring your moms questioning looks.

“So, maybe you could tell us how was your life there.” Kara asks, but you’re too distracted with your phone to notice. You haven’t used one in a while, not because there weren’t phones in Storybrooke, but because you didn’t need them. It was a super small city, you could find anyone easily, and because Emma and Charming were sheriffs, you all used radio transmitters to talk. “Hey? Little one, helloooo.”

“Sorry momma.” You put your phone down. “What did you say?”

“We want to know about your life there. I mean, for us it wasn’t that long, but for you it was a whole year. You probably did lots of things.” Kara says and you agree with your head.

“Yeah, I guess.” You shrug. “I used to help mom Emma out with the saving, and oh, mom Regina helped me with my panic attacks. And I’m a lot better at controlling them! Henry and I used to watch this awesome TV show that I probably won’t ever know how it ends now. And grandma taught me archery.”

“Oh, that sounds-” Lena thinks about it for a second. “Fun.”

“Yeah. It was so great. And every night all of us would get together at Granny’s diner and talk about our days, and sometimes I would go hang out with Belle in the library, so I read all the books there. And if I had stayed a little bit longer and turned 18 there, then grandpa would’ve taught me how to use a gun.”

“A little bit? It would’ve been a whole other year!”

“For me, I guess.” You shrug again. “Just another week for you. And I would’ve been cursed anyway, so it wouldn’t feel so bad.”

“Wait. Wait. Wait.” Kara stops you, looking confused. “You wanted to stay?”

“No!” You think about it for a second. “Not stay. No. Just-you know-If I had perhaps stayed longer then yeah, it would’ve been fun to learn that.”

“You can learn how to use a gun here!” Kara says, and Lena furrows her brows.

“No, she can’t.” She looks at you. “No, you can’t. Maybe when you’re older.”

“Right. Moms wouldn’t let me touch a gun either.”

“We are your moms.” It’s out of Kara’s mouth like she hadn’t given much thought to it. But you know she has, because she looks stung. You’ve noticed how she flinched every time you referred to Regina and Emma as moms, but it’s out of your mouth before you can stop yourself to think about it. For a year that’s what you’ve been saying every day. It’s hard to call them just anything else. Almost disrespectful even. But you don’t want to make Kara and Lena upset, so you have to watch out for that.

You try to say something after that. But it’s like your mind keeps erasing itself. ‘Ok, fine, sorry, sure you are momma!’ are all things that almost make it out of your mouth. Instead, you settle for, “Can I have some M&M pancakes?”

“Sure, babygirl.” Lena gets up and gets behind the counter. You go back to your phone, too embarrassed to look at Kara again. She doesn’t say anything about it either.

You talk about other things. They tell you how crazy it was to find you, and what they did all week while you were gone. Apparently it was mostly crying and blaming themselves for your disappearance.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“To school. To see Jamie and Maya.”

“Where are your glasses?” Kara asks and you touch your face to realize that you haven’t been wearing them at all.

“Ugh.” You grunt and mumble right after. “I hate those stupid glasses. Can’t believe I have to wear them again.”

You run to your bedroom and find an old pair tossed around. Stupid disguise. Stupid glasses. Stupid secret identity.

“Ok. Can I go now?” You ask when you make it back to the living room.

Lena lets out a forced smile out of her lips, and Kara gives you the most awkward thumbs up in history. Well, there’s a lot to unpack there. So maybe leave it for later.

“Hey!”

“No way in hell!” It’s Jamie’s first response when she sees you in front of your old school. “You grew taller in a week?”

“Something like that.” You smile finally looking down on her. Rao, it feels so good to finally be taller than Jamie. You’ve been hearing about it for years! “Hey, babe.”

“Holy fuck, look at you!” Maya says with the biggest smile on her face. “I don’t see you for a week and you show up here looking like a superhero!”

“Well…” You give her a little side flirty smile. “Is that a good thing?”

“You look great, babe.” Maya’s arms go around your neck and she tiptoes to kiss your mouth. You hold her by the waist, making it easier for her to kiss you.

“God, I’ve missed kissing you.” You let out after you part your lips.

“It’s been a week, stop being so melodramatic.” Jamie rolls her eyes, and you smile, letting go of Maya to hug her too.

“I’ve missed you too, dipshit.”

“Oh.” Jamie lets out a surprised sound. “I guess you’re not so dramatic then.”

You want to tell them, right there, about how it was not just a week. About your different life in the past year. But the girls from your school who used to bully you pass right next to you, and your heart beats faster anticipating the teasing.

But they don’t say a thing. In fact, what they say after they pass you, and you catch using your super hearing, is that you must be a new student. You smile, relieved. Getting taller and cutting your hair. You wish you had known it would make your life a lot easier.

“Ice-cream?” You smile at them and get positive responses at that. Two hours with them and it feels like you’ve never left. Feels good to be with them. It makes you remember that even though your life in National City is not always easy, it’s still pretty great. And that you shouldn’t take that for granted.

You and Jamie walk Maya home, and you’re not even scared of her parents' reaction anymore. It’s not like they’ll recognize you, anyway. And later, you fly Jamie back to her house. You say a quick hello to Alex and Kelly, then fly back home.

“Hey.” You throw yourself on the couch between your moms, with a smile on your face. You look at the box of donuts in front of them, just sitting there waiting for you to arrive and your smile grows wider. “Sorry I was gone for a while. But can I make it up to you both with some hugs and forehead kisses?”

“Oh! Me first!” Kara asks and you smile, throwing your arms around her, and resting your chin on her shoulders.

“You’re my mommy. No one will ever take that away from you.” You whisper in her ear, and feel Kara’s body fully relax in your embrace, while she lets out a relieved sigh.

“I love you more than words can explain it, kid.” You smile and let her go a little, just to look into her eyes.

“I know the words.” You rest your forehead against hers and smile. “You’re my heart.”

“You’re my heart, little one.”

“Can I get a sweet moment like this too?” Lena asks and you chuckle, pulling her close for a tight hug.

“You also don’t have to worry about anyone taking your place.” You say softly in her ear. “You carried me inside of you for nine months, and I’ll carry you inside of me for the rest of my life.”

“Oh God.” Lena says, choking up and wetting the back of your t-shirt with her tears. “I swear this is the loveliest thing someone has ever told me.”

“It’s true.” You smile and kiss her forehead right after. “I love you mom.”

“Oh, I love you, babygirl.”

“And we’re stronger together.” You say, and feel their arms go around you at the same time, in a family hug.

Sure you will miss being called ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’, but nothing beats being called ‘little one’ and ‘babygirl’. And nothing ever will. National City may not make you feel as good as Storybrooke did, but the people here surely make up for that.