#its scary but we stay silly ig

[irl]

thinkin

[louisjude]

this is my thoughts on what has been shown to us on screen/in canon from the perspective of someone who shipped bvdd!e and was deadset on them being endgame until seeing what unfolds in season 7 and why i slowly came to the realization that bvdd!e may forever stay fanon and choosing to embrace bucktommy rather than making it my enemy because buck is my favorite character and seeing him happy makes me happy.

certain 7x04 spec/response: buck is misconstruing his feelings for tommy with what he’s actually feeling for eddie, because it’s obvious he was trying to eddie’s attention not tommy’s—well at least tommy gave buck his queer awakening so that means bvdd!e canon is possible!

what actually happened: buck made an effort to try and get to know tommy, his attempts to get close with tommy are interrupted by eddie. so buck spends the rest of the episode desperately trying to get invited to hangout with tommy too, because buck is a silly goofball who’s unknowingly crushing hard and too nervous to ask tommy to hangout again in fear of rejection or eddie and him already having plans. buck fully processes what he was doing was for tommy’s attention right before they kiss which gives tommy a 🚨gay🚨signal. tommy being buck’s queer awakening is about buck and buck alone. tim minear confirms the entire episode was a bait and switch and that eddie was the red herring to the audience. at no point in the episode does eddie indicate having feelings for buck, in fact eddie doesn’t even realize he’s been unintentionally leaving buck out and feels bad about it.

continued below ⬇️

certain 7x05 spec/response: photo stills release. everyone is so sure that eddie and marisol will be sat across from buck and tommy and eddie is going to grow jealous watching them. this doesn’t end up happening but thats ok. as the episode continues we’re sure tommy isn’t going to return and eddie will continue his catholic guilt arc which will lead to his own gay realization. buck comes out to maddie and it’s almost feels like maddie knows buck has feelings for eddie with her “if theres something you need to tell eddie, you will” line (because of previous dialogue like bucks boy crush on eddie) we get buck then coming out to eddie which we think might spark up eddies feelings as well after finding out his best friend he has unknown feelings for is bisexual. marisol moving out means marisol bones soon, yay! buck asks tommy for a second chance, not what we wanted but ig it’s fine because tommy can be buck’s first boyfriend to show him the queer lifestyle.

what actually happened: buck is entirely too nervous but excited to be on a date with tommy. tommy seemingly knows how to make buck and blushing mess which is something we haven’t really seen before and its adorable. buck gets overwhelmed and screws himself over with his “hot chicks” line which he absolutely did not need to say at all when eddie and marisol run into them. we’re given conflict within the date because we need to see buck fully embrace this new queer side of himself, and although the storyline overall is fairly lighthearted the way tim and oliver wanted, it’s still good to show what it’s really like for a lot of newly realized queer people, especially someone in their 30s who isn’t necessarily ashamed but is still coming to terms with the fact that they are queer and having to tell people after spending so long as presumably “straight”. especially a masculine man like evan buckley. the rest of the episode has buck mourning what he could have has with tommy because he really likes him, he accidentally comes out to maddie because he can’t stop talking about how stupid he felt ruining his chance, maddie tells him he’s not a fraud, that he obviously is nervous to tell eddie because that’s his best friend and a queer man coming out to their (atp, canonically) straight friend is a scary thing to do. he doesnt want things to change between them. we eventually get to see buck coming out to eddie and seeking acceptance from eddie which he automatically is given. its a weight off his shoulders, his best friend accepts him and reminds him it changes absolutely nothing between then and in fact, eddie tells buck to call tommy because buck admits he cannot stop thinking about him but is scared of rejection again. tommy agrees to meet with him and they actually have a very beautiful conversation, buck takes responsibility for his behavior on their date, tommy assures buck he isn’t really upset about it because it was mostly about not wanting to pressure buck into something he wasn’t ready for. buck then assures tommy he is ready for something and thinks that something could be with him. their coffee date sweetly ends with tommy agreeing to be bucks date to maddie and chim’s wedding and then holding hands.

now this is where i truly started to lose my rose-colored shipping glasses and where the plot became completely lost to me.

certain 7x06 spec/response: the karaoke scene is going to be huge for bvdd!e. tommy not dressing up for the bachelor party is red flag behavior. they didn’t have to write him being on standby, even he’s on standby he could have worn an 80s band tee. he put in no effort meanwhile bvdd!e have matching costumes*. buck and eddie are going to drunkenly kiss/almost kiss which causes tension between them. buck and tommy will end up broken up.

what actually happened: tommy showed up to the bachelor party despite being on standby, meaning he could have open been there for 5 minutes before having to leave. no one else dressed up in costume or 80s themed, tommy wasn’t the only one. tommy only leaves because he gets called into work and promises buck he’ll try his best to make it to the wedding. buck is visibly upset but they hug and buck even tells him to be safe. most of the episode afterwards is chimney focused and at the end we get tommy showing up for buck, sooty, grimey in his turnout gear because he didn’t even bother getting changed because he wanted to show up for buck. tommy is showing he will put in effort of buck, even if it means not sleeping for at least 12 hours and showing up after fighting a fire all night and day. they kiss in the middle of the hospital, buck brings tommy to the hospital room with soot all over his face, basically coming out to everyone including his parents. buck is showing he’s not anxious to let people know he’s queer anymore which is a huge contrast from 7x05.

certain 7x09 spec/response: eddie is shown after buck gets his award, this points to bvdd!e endgame because everyone else has their loved ones shown after their medals. tommy’s comment about “enjoy while is lasts” is rude and pointing to bucktommy bones. the still we thought was between eddie and buck isn’t right but! buck still shows up at eddies house to confront him, ditching tommy for eddie.

what actually happened: yes, each character has their loved ones shown on screen after their medals, but i think the reason they chose eddie for after buck was because he was the last one called and it easily fit as his named is called while he’s on screen. also no one denies eddie and buck love each other, it just may not be romantic. tommy’s comment perfectly shows how he and buck contrast each other but work very well together as well. it’s very black cat x golden retriever vibes between them from what we’ve been shown. it’s also mostly there to foreshadow the return of gerrard. buck doesn’t ditch tommy for eddie because buck doesn’t stay all night, surely it’s implied buck still went to tommy’s afterwards. buck goes to eddies because he’s genuinely worried for his friend, thats what friends do for each other, tommy can wait an hour more for buck it’s not a big deal.

certain 7x10 spec/response: buck is going to ditch his date with tommy for eddie. bucktommy bones!

what actually happened: eddie fucks up bad. buck is there for eddie because he’s a good friend. buck and tommy’s date isn’t interrupted at all, in fact it’s nice that it was squeezed into the episode to show were their relationship is currently at. tommy can tune into buck’s emotions, he can tell needs to say something and asks if he’s okay. they’re still on getting to know each other terms but are becoming comfortable sharing vulnerable things about themselves to each other. they’re also openly flirting and being sexually suggestive with each other. bucktommy bones… oh boy. they sure do.

after each speculation became untrue, proven wrong, people seemed to double down on their toxic behavior and hatred of a fictional couple/person because they weren’t getting what they wanted to the point of harassment towards cast, crew and other fans. now im not saying all bucktommy shippers are angels, but the hostile reaction of people from one subset of the fandom left a bad taste in my mouth. most accounts i enjoyed i ended up blocking due to toxicity and their outright bullying towards those who enjoyed bucktommy even if they still believed in bvdd!e endgame. no im not embarrassed of being a multishipper or ‘jumping ship’ (i still ship bvdd!e i’m just convinced it’ll stay fanon atm) it’s a completely normal thing to happen in fandom, it’s not a sin to begin liking other ships or to start shipping characters with other people that you previously shipped with someone else. there’s a reason people enjoy buck and tommy together and it’s not because we just want to see two men kiss, that argument is so overused and bullshit because mlm ships so prominent in fandom you could use that argument for literally every mlm ship in existence that you hate. despite the echo chamber certain toxic fans are in, bucktommy has been well received by the GA and other 911 fans who couldn’t care less about buck and eddie as a ship. overall, this does not mean your ship isn’t valid, canonicity is not the end all be all of ships, it’s about having fun and being creative. it’s when you start trying to deny canon and villainize characters/ships/shippers simply because it exists that causes people to start making posts exactly like this.

[fyolovrr]

"My sweets! D:"

guys im finally back. i left for almost a year and kinda forgot abt this acc 😓BUTTTT dww im backk !! and im back with a new way diff thought. i nvr wrote abt this before but hear we go.. smth new !! :3 gojo. yup. thats it. gojo!!!!! hes sooooooo hsjshuduesjf. also, srry dudes, this is sfw cuz i physically cant write nsfw... (havent wrote in a yr)

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

A loud sigh leaves your lips. Your eyes meet with his bright(almost scary) blue eyes. "Quit looking at me like its my fault you dropped your diabete influenced snacks." Your voice breaking the silence. A loud, almost offended gasp leaves your so-called-boyfriend, Satoru's mouth. "But it is your fault! You made me hold your bag!" He whines on with that infamous pout on his pretty, pink lips. How could you ever stay mad at someone so cute? right? ...right? (if u say no he'll cling to you for ages.) Another loud, exaggerated sigh leaves your lips. At this point youre rubbing your temple. On your way back to your home, Satoru decided it was a good idea to snatch your bag and "balance" (as he called it) his new box of sweets. Of course, this didn't end well. While looking through your purse, he ended up dropping his sweets, leaving you in this situation.

"No, you basically snatched my purse from me, asking if I had candy." Another loud gasp leaves his precious lips. "Nuh uh!!" Was the only response that came, making you giggle.

"You're such a baby, you know that?" You say and pat his shoulder, trying to some how comfort him. He only gives you a funky, sad look and lets out a veerrryyyy looongg sigh, flopping onto the comfort of your couch. "well... since YOU made me drop my delicious, gorgeous, delectable chocolate, you need to give me cuddles. Right now." He says with a silly pout. Of course you cant deny him of cuddles. (you want them to, dont lie.) You reach over and wrap your arms around him, placing a soft kiss on his forhead, earning a grin and breathy giggle from him. His larger arms wrapping around your body, rubbing the soft skin on your waist.

. . . . . ╰──╮ ♡ ╭──╯ . . . . .

idk if you can tell, but idk how to end it so yall js cuddle to death ig :3

[blessednereid]

August

WC: <4100

Mentions: Sexual innuendos, cursing, slut-shaming, Affairs/Adultery, Lying, Deceit

A/N: It’s an AU, basically where James and Lily don’t end up together, and the War ends before they graduate. Snape and Peter don’t become death eaters IG but that doesn’t really matter later on. Unedited, but it’s the last day of August so I gotta get it in NOW.

Pairings: James Potter x Reader, James Potter x Lily Evans, (future) Lily Evans x Reader

~~~

Y/N

*

Salt air

*

You and your boyfriend of two months are sitting on the shoreline of the shared beach near your houses. You’ve lived in the same neighbourhood for as long as you can remember, but never really noticed each other until your formative years. And the chemistry was undeniable, which is what led you to that precise moment.

“Hey, James… What do you think is going to happen when we go away for school?” you ask meekly.

Being a Beauxbaton student is as luxurious as it sounds. You never have to put up with brutish and grotesque boys in pissing contests, and while there may be catty classmates, there’s no fighting over boys. No heartbreak. No major drama.

That being said, that didn’t mean that none of you had boyfriends. You all had your fair share of suitors from Durmstrang or Hogwarts or some other school in the country. And yours was James Potter.

He is the epitome of a perfect boyfriend. He remembers small dates, like the exact day your cat died, and knows exactly what you need.

You don’t think you’ve loved anyone as much as you’ve loved him.

And that’s precisely why you’re so afraid to lose him.

You knew that the long distance between you would be difficult. What started as a summer fling quickly became something more, and James changed from a friend who could make you laugh your guts out to the boy that makes your heart sing.

He has his arms wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, and you know exactly what he’s thinking. The distance isn’t going to change my love for you.

But he doesn’t realize that it’ll change the amount he can express. And that’s going to be frustrating. You’ve only been together for a little while. So how would this even work?

“We just have to trust each other, darling. I love you, and you love me. That’s all that matters.”

“But James-”

“No buts,” he states stoically. “Nothing is going to change this. You just need to trust me, trust that this is going to work.”

James

*

And the rust on your door

*

He had told you exactly what he meant. That he loved you, and that you could trust him. He knew that he loved you, and that love had taken root in the deepest part of his heart. So when he opened the door to Sirius, Remus, and Peter’s room, since he would not be staying here this year, he not only felt excitement for the new year but sheer happiness at the fact that he had found someone who loved him as unconditionally as he loved her. He did feel some remorse that he wouldn’t be staying with his gaggle of mates though.

“Mate, what’s that grin on your face for? Haven’t gotten in any trouble without us, have you?”

Apparently, James’ inner monologue reflected on his face because all his friends were made aware of the grin on his face.

“No, I just…”

He’d managed to keep the relationship a secret from Sirius that summer because you didn’t want the already confusing relationship to be found out by the Wizarding World. For reporters to make it more convoluted and twisted than it actually was.

“I’m just glad to be back,” he says, deciding he needs to discuss with you if he could tell his friends about your relationship just yet.

*

I never needed anything more

*

When he saw Lily in classes the next day, a pang swam through his chest. He didn’t see her yesterday on the train. He wasn’t focusing on that. But now he was. He noticed that her red hair had been cut short to her shoulders and that she appeared much more confident. Her school blouse had the first two buttons popped, showing just the slightest bit of rosy cleavage.

No.

He had promised you that you could trust him, and you could. He knew you could. He was going to be the man that you deserved. Lily was in the past. Lily was a speed bump on his path to finding true love with you.

But why did the way he felt about Lily now feel as strongly as it did before?

And it didn’t help any when she waltzed up to his desk and straightened her arms right in front of his face, pushing out her chest, and making his lust and sexual drive soar. He was sure it was evident. That he’d broken out in a sweat, but he attempted to play it off as cool as an Autumn day.

“Hello James,” she greeted. “How was your summer?”

He gulped. In front of his eyes was a woman, the woman that he had wanted so desperately. He didn’t know her intentions, but he knew his thoughts. And if you could see his thoughts, could hear them… he knew you wouldn’t be pleased. He knew you’d realize that you’d been right in not trusting him. “Summer was fine, Lily-flower. And you? Hang around with Snivelly, any?”

“No, we haven’t talked since the end of last year. But I’m thinking that this is more room for opportunity, to make new friends, see the light, you know?” she grinned and it lit up his heart.

“So, I was talking to Remus, and he told me that I should give you a chance to be one of those new friends,” but the way she said friends implied something more. “And at first, I objected, and then I realized, I never really gave you much light in my eyes. Do you think you could change that, Jamesie?”

And fuck, if that didn’t make his heart race a little.

Lily

*

Whispers of "Are you sure?"

*

Lily and James were kissing passionately and furiously as they stumbled into her bedroom. Since becoming head girl, she had gotten her own dorm room. James had also gotten one, but Lily didn’t want to see how messy that room was.

She moved her hands from in between their two bodies and picked up her wand to cast several different nonverbal charms.

When she was done, she pushed James down onto the bed and began tearing off her clothes. And then his. When she was done and they were lying beside each other he muttered a final “are you sure?” to her, and she nodded. He kissed her with ferocious passion until the kiss became something more.

This happened again, again, again.

*

"Never have I ever before"

*

When James left Lily’s room for the fourth time that month, she pressed two fingers to her lips in reaction to his goodbye kiss.

“I’ve never felt this way about James. About anyone,” she thought.

He made her feel alive, he made her grin, he made her giggle, and he made her heart flutter when he was around her. Of course, she knew this when she approached him. She just didn’t think it would escalate to this level so soon.

She wants to shout to the world the way she feels about him, the way he makes her feel. How he can take her breath away and make her feel like the most important and most special girl on the planet.

Like she was made just and entirely for him, and that the same applied for him to her.

She couldn’t stop her wild dreams, the ones of vivid love and passion, the ones where he would kiss her, take her hand, and profess his love in grand displays. Where he’d fight for her and never leave her.

Fantasy and delusion never left her mind when it came to him.

*

Your back beneath the sun

*

He and she both lie underneath the sun, soaking up its rays, sharing its warmth, staring at the clouds trying to make out certain shapes.

It was a sunny December day, which was rare, so they were getting as much out of it as they could.

“James, we should study,” she lightly approached the devastating topic. “It’s not like I really want to, but what kind of example are we setting as head boy and girl?”

“Well, If we go back up to our dorms, nobody will know if we’re studying or doing something else,” he said with a wriggle of eyebrows.

“No, James!” she laughs, and he joins her. His pearly teeth both ensnaring her mind and rendering her unable to focus on anything but him.

“When’s the next Hogsmeade trip?” he asked casually while he laid back down with his head facing the sky.

“Most likely before the holidays.”

She saw his face contort when she mentioned the Christmas break.

“James, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, I’m just thinking about… the war.” His face was pale, and his face sour.

“I’m thinking of joining the order after I graduate, but it’s still scary, you know. I’m worried about my mum and dad.”

“Your parents are going to be fine, James,” she assured him, but she knew he would be fully relieved until the war was over and all death eaters were locked up.

*

Wishin' I could write my name on it

*

She was sitting with Remus in the library when he brought up James. Let the record show that he brought up James, not her.

“So, how is everything going with James?”

She sighed lightly. “It’s magic, Remus. Pun intended.”

He chuckled. “I’m glad you feel that way, Lily. Really, he’s a good guy once you get past that facade he puts on. I knew you’d like him.”

“Yes,” she says faintly. Doubts flood her head about his own feelings.

“What’s wrong, Lily?”

Her eyes turn down to her paper before reaching up again to meet his. “It’s silly, but… sometimes I wonder if he truly feels the same. I mean, most people don’t harbour feelings for one person for this long. What if all along it was just lust, and he’ll cast me away now that he’s satisfied that urge.”

“Lily, I promise you, James has had eyes for no one but you for many years. I highly doubt that it was lust, James isn’t like that.”

“You know,” she smiled. “You’re right. I just wish this didn’t have to be kept so hush-hush. The amount of girls I see fawning over him is grotesque.”

“So then ask him,” he pushed.

She took that as a challenge. “Alright. I will!”

*

The next time Lily saw James, they immediately rolled into bed and did what lovers do. But after that is when she posed the question.

“James, would we- will we ever be able to make this public?” she asked in a stern voice.

She saw thoughts swimming in his head for a moment.

“Lily,” he rolled onto his side. “We- I… This needs to be a secret for now. I mean, we are waist-deep into this war, and with my plans to go into the order, I can’t risk anyone coming after you.”

His logic made sense to her, and the wizarding world would get too caught up with the son of a prestigious wizard family being with a muggle-born in the middle of all of this.

He was right, she just had to swallow her jealousy for now.

*

Will you call when you’re back at school

*

The next week, there was a Hogsmeade trip, and despite them staying near the Marauders, really, it was a date for James and Lily. Or at least that’s what it felt like. An unofficial date.

They bought each other gifts to open over the holidays, kissed discreetly under mistletoes, and held hands while walking through the village.

When they went to get butterbeer for the rest of the group, there was a long but comfortable silence for a while.

“So what are you doing for the holidays?”

“Just going back home, maybe making some treats with my mum,” he said casually. “What about you?”

“Same as you, I guess. I’ll miss you, though.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

She tapped her foot absentmindedly as they waited. “What if I came with you?”

“What?” Panic flooded his face. “No, you couldn’t come with me, I’m afraid. My house is an Order safe place. If a death eater found it, you could be in danger.”

“You’re in danger just being there.”

“And you’re in danger by just breathing, Lily! That would be a double danger. I’m not risking that.”

She cringed at her sudden need to be close to him. “Right, sorry. It was a silly idea. A mindless thought.”

His face softened when he saw her embarrassment. “I’d love to bring you home, Lily, but it’s not safe.” But by now she could tell that he was lying, there was something more.

*

I remember thinkin' I had you

*

On the train back from London going to Hogwarts, Lily sat with Marlene and Dorcas, she hadn't seen them quite as much as she would’ve wanted since the school year started, and now was the perfect opportunity.

Lily felt remorse and guilt for not telling her friends about such a crucial part of her life, her relationship with James Potter, and truly she wanted to, but what if they judged her? And Marlene has had a reputation for having a loudmouth. What if she said something and word got out?

They conversed in idle gossip before an interesting topic was brought up. One that left Lily infuriated, and ready to murder a smug bastard.

“Have you heard about Potter and that Beauxbaton girl?”

Her eyes raised in curiosity and scorn. “What Beauxbaton girl?”

Dorcas revealed as much as she knew about you to Lily, your name, family, status in the Wizarding World. By the time she was done, Lily was struck with disbelief.

“And you’re sure they were kissing?” she said in response to Marlene’s information about the article in the Daily Prophet with a picture of them kissing.

“Yes!” she exclaimed.

“I have the article right here,” Dorcas mentioned.

“Way to bury the lead.”

“Oh shush,” she said and handed Lily the newspaper out of her bag.

She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The man she had been with for the past four months was kissing another woman. With Tongue.

“Well, that’s fantastic for him,” she said sourly. “He must feel so proud to have gotten a pretty girlfriend after pining after me for so long. I wonder how long it’ll be before he tries pining after me again,”

“Who knows, maybe it is serious,” Dorcas proposed.

Lily growled. “I don’t think it’s that serious if he’s sleeping with another woman.”

Marlene’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean-”

“Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” she said before exiting the cabin of the train and heading to find James Potter.

“So,” she said when she reached his compartment. “How long have you been seeing her?”

James looked shocked to see her. “Lily, I can explain.”

“Can you? Please explain then. Is this why I couldn’t come with you? Why you had to keep us a secret James? For Godric’s sake, how long have you been seeing her?”

He gulped. “Since the summer.” Even Sirius looked shocked.

“I lived in your house, and you didn’t tell me, mate?”

“Not the time,” Peter chastised.

“Are you serious James? You spouted all of that you love me bullshit when you were with someone else?” Her eyes radiated anger. It was like staring into the mouth of an actively-fire-breathing dragon. “Does she know about me?”

“No, she doesn’t,” he admitted.

Lily said one more sentence before stalking away. “Well, you better tell her, or I will.”

*

But I can see us lost in the memory

*

Lily had no intention of telling you anything. She didn’t even know you. How would she send an owl to a total stranger and tell them that their boyfriend has been cheating on them with herself?

Lily never set out to be a homewrecker. But she didn’t even know she was wrecking a home, to begin with.

This was James’ fault, and he was going to own up to it.

Besides, It deserved to come from him. Lily knew how she felt about being told that she was the other woman from some outside source, and she didn’t want to do that to anyone at all.

But not even the sting of betrayal could mask the ever-flowing sadness that emanated from Lily. She truly believed he was in love. And maybe he was. Just not with her. And that was okay, but she didn’t deserve what she was put through.

Still, that doesn’t stop the fact that she, herself, was in love with him, and how is she supposed to ever get over that betrayal.

*

August slipped away into a moment in time- 'Cause it was never mine

*

Within the next few months, Lily had fallen into a rut. Her grades began slipping, her mood and cheeriness faltered. Even though the Wizarding World War had recently been won, with death-eaters being locked away, that didn’t change her mood, because she wasn’t in the mood to celebrate, to begin with. Her friends noticed her down-in-the-dumps aura, and despite knowing the cause, and how it wasn’t their fault, they couldn’t help but want to help her, to fix her.

But no one could repair the damage that James Potter caused to Lily but Lily herself. And that started with making amends.

“I have to send a follow-up letter to that girl. So I’ll ask you. Have you told her yet?” She cornered James in the library because, despite Head Boy and Head Girl duties, they didn’t see each other much. After all, he was avoiding her as much as she was avoiding him.

He gulped, “I haven’t. Lily, I can’t tell her. It would kill her, she was so worried about the distance and when she saw me at Christmas break, she was so happy. I don’t want to ruin that.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you started an affair with me, James. An affair I didn’t agree to. I didn’t want to be anybody's mistress. And she deserves to know, and I am going to send her a letter. Today! So if you don’t tell her, she will find out from me. I’ve given you months.”

“Lily, don’t do this. Please. I can’t tell her over an owl. It has to be in person.”

She faltered. He was right. His heart may have been in the wrong place, but his head is in the right one. Doing that, telling you over an owl could have devastating consequences. It was a discussion that had to be had in person.

“Easter Break. That is your chance, James Potter. After that, If you don’t I will.”

She turned on her heel and was about to leave the library when he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

“Lily, you have to understand, I never meant to hurt you,” he said. “I have fancied you for so long, and when you finally reciprocated this year, I didn’t want to pass up that chance. I was wrong. You are so amazing, and I shouldn’t have done what I did, but please believe this. You deserve so much, and I couldn’t and could never give that to you, but when I did this, I never meant to hurt anyone. I didn’t think it would go this far.”

She scoffed. “Well, it did, James. You hurt me. You betrayed me, and you betrayed her. Neither of us deserved that, no matter what.”

*

And I can see us twisted in bedsheets

*

Guilt twisted in her stomach every time she thought of you. Jealousy was surely a stage at first, everything about you had her enchanted, your hair, your eyes, your glowing skin. She was enthralled, and she could see why James was too.

And then she remembered his nights in her dorm, on her bed. Tossing and turning with her, his lips on her mouth, and she didn’t feel envy. She felt regret and culpability. If she had pressed James harder about whether his feelings really were the same as before, if he’d really wanted to do this, maybe he wouldn’t have done it.

And then she wouldn’t be in this position, and you wouldn’t be about to come crash-landing on impact with this heavy, and taboo truth.

But this wasn’t about her, Lily realized. This was about you. And how you were going to feel once James told you what happened when the train meets the station, and that is all Lily can think of as she sits on her bed, staring out of her window. When her owl knocks on the window to deliver her mail, the headline of the Daily Prophet is what catches her eye. “The Prodigal son in an affair with a Muggleborn witch!” It goes on and on about how a secret inside source heard an argument between the two of them in the Hogwarts library.

There is no doubt that you have seen this, and James didn’t get to tell you. Lily didn’t get to apologize to you. This just got a whole lot worse, and Lily didn’t know how she was going to deal with the sudden turn of events.

James is the villain here, she reminded herself. James is in the wrong, but she knew that she was still an unwitting accomplice. And her gut wrenched as she pondered on that very true fact.

*

August slipped away like a bottle of wine

*

Lily had to get away from the wizarding world, so although she didn’t plan on going home for the Easter holiday, she had to now.

She was being shamed for her insidious relationship with James, by certain people, mostly Snape and his friends, that bastard. Most everyone was supportive, they realized she had no idea about your relationship, but she was still worried about what you’d say to James, but more about what’d you’d say about her.

Had James told you that she didn’t know? That he lied to both of you. Would you be mad at her either way?

Shame pulsed through her body, and she couldn’t imagine what her mother would say when she told her if she ever did.

Though when she got home, her mother instantly noticed that something was wrong.

Knowing she couldn’t take her mothers knowing stares and hard gaze, she instantly confessed to everything that happened over the semester. Her mother didn’t judge her for having premarital sex as Lily thought she would, but rather comforted her daughter and reassured her. “If James is a half-decent person, he will tell her that you did nothing wrong, and she won’t be mad at you, Lily dear.”

Her mother's reassurance helped, but her rose bush of worry wouldn’t be clear of its thorns until she spoke with you.

*

'Cause you were never mine

*

When the break was over, and Lily was about to board the train station to the red engine that is the Hogwarts Express, someone was waiting for her at the door to the train.

“My train doesn’t arrive until later,” you say plainly. “I wanted to get here earlier though, to speak with you.”

Lily feels like she’s breaking out in hives under your eyes, and it’s not a good feeling.

“James told me about how you didn’t know about me, how you wanted him to tell me sooner, didn’t want me to find out from tabloids like you did.” You smiled at her.

“It really hurt me when I found out. I didn’t want you to feel that way, but you still deserved to know. I’m just sorry you found out like that anyway.”

“James already boarded the train, but I wanted to let you know we’re no longer together if you still wanted to be with him,” you said meekly.

Lily’s eyes grew to the size of saucers. “Godric, no! He’s a git.”

You laughed.

“I know we may not be able to be friends, but maybe it’ll be better if we work through all of this together, all three of us,” Lily proposed.

“Yes, individually, dually, all together, doesn’t matter, it needs to be resolved.”

Lily sighed a breath of relief. “Somehow, I feel lighter.”

“Me too.”

As Lily was about to board the train, you called out to her. “Lily!”

She whipped her head to face you. “We can be friends if you’d like, you know.”

That made Lily smile, and honestly, it made her heart bloom with a vague, but familiar feeling.

[diangeloyoyok]

my review on pjo movies

first up with have The Lighting Thief obviously

 Poseidon’s entrance lowkey kinda fire but high key weird

‘it’s been many years’ didn’t y’all just have that winter solstice party together ???

‘if your son if the thief i will send him to the pits of tartarus’ ouch that hurt ngl

logan lerman 🥺

he would’ve been such a good percy if they did the movies when he was younger IDC IDC IDC

i stan black grover and just grover overall

i wish we got to see my bitch nancy

sally and percy sallY AND PERCY SALLY AND PERCY SALLY AND PERCY

gabe to me is just *hmm* perfect in this movie, he’s not as mean in the movies but he’s still an asshole ehehehe

i love Chiron actor i think it’s very accurate

also wtf chiron is bros with the big three lols 😹

y’all know jenna davis?- that’s who the girl who plays ms dodd’s looks like

so they just gonna ignore him and tak ab him while he’s RIGJT. THERE.

‘This is a pen. This is a pen.’

‘Are you guys crazy? This is a pen man!’

the scene with gabe makes me uncomfy bc percy says in the book gabe never hits percy in front of sally but ok 😗✌️

leaving percy was the *mOST* difficult thing poseidon *the GOD of water* has ever done wow percy is that cool

‘You’re half donkey?!”

i am da wittlest minotaur 😳✨🙈

such a subtle entrance to the camp love it

why y’all give percy the pen before he supposed to be a badass and rip the horn off wjth his hands but ig

wait so in this dumbass movie percy doesn’t even do anything to get the horn goodbye

i’m still very pissed that they took the scene of annabeth sayjng ‘you drool when you sleep’ but it’s fine i’m NOT fine

why is no one wearing camp shirts 🤬

they may be wrong but i didnt know it was ‘brUnner’ not ‘brUNner’

it’s kinda cute how when percy first sees annabeth he’s like ‘ooouuu who’s that name now 😌😏”

brown haired blue eyed looking ass BITCH

‘A real horses ass’ laughed a LITTLE

so the poseidon cabin is just *THAT* open poor percy no privacy

oh wait wth they already know his daddy poseidon 🤨

like everyone just knew ????

when did percy get new clothes the fuck

why did everyone laugh and shake their heads when chiron introduced percy what whores

omg luke 🥺

i know everyone knows this but it’s *SOOOOOOOOO* unrealistic annabeth and luke aren’t on the same team. like i’m pretty sure in the first book annabeth said they had a permanent allies type thing with the hermes cabin

‘that’s a sword! that’s a sword’ aw baby luke why’d you have to be evil 🙁🤚

where the FUCK did that bitch tryna be annabae come from

she realky said ‘i love trees🌲☺️❤️’

why does annabeth act like clarisse during capture the flag

also the fuCK WHERE MY BABY CLARISSE

why are there like actual 30 yr olds at camp

luke was so excited when he saw percy get up he said ‘omg no way✨’

so suddenly percy just knows sword play 😀

and deFEATS ANNABETH WE ALL KNOW HE CANT EVEN DO THAT NOW

y’all red heads a bunch of babies

i already know it’s coming

shit no

i hate it

i hate it so much

already ew’d out

‘i definitely have strong feelings for you, i just haven’t decided if they’re positive or negative yet.’

‘well you let me know when you figure it out’

‘you’ll be the first’

why they just drinking nectar for fun?? like bruh you tryna die or sum

after that i can’t watch anymore tonight

it’s been like 3 weeks but let’s not talk about that

i’m not even gonna comment on the campfire scene anymore my god

i like how in movies everyone is like “omg the underworld so scary percy you can’t go that’s so dangerous you will DIE”

and in the books they’re like “yeah it’s dangerous but whateva you 12 yr olds have fun down there bring me a souvenir!!”

why does luke have?? video?? games?? in?? his?? cabin??

WAIT LIKE A WHOLE ASS TECHNOLOGY SETUP WHAT

why is luke the only one in his cabin like where’s the stolls and chris 😳

you mean to tell me luke broke into hermes house just for like funzies and to steal shit?

sounds like travis and connor but ok✨

what the fuck even is the whole pearl plot

i don’t even wanna talk about the medusa scene

percy has an ipod 🤡

“i’ve only been in the outside world a few times” did you fucking practice driving those few times or WHAT

if percy could actually heal people with water wowie imagine how useful

why did percy bring swimming trunks on a quest

can this brown haired bitch shut up already

sally never took gabes last name excuse you 🤣

ofc it’s fucking fox news giving us that bullshit info on sally

they in nashville wee-doggie 🤠

‘hey it’s your mom’ obviously dumbass she has eyes

so they hid in the potty room for like 5 hours? huh

yeah let’s jus facetime lukey real quick 🥰

silly boy percy

“how flipping awesome was that”

does percy even know he can bend water in the first book

that’s gonna be an unexplainable statue for the workers tmrw

lotus hotel baby

the only reason this movie is watchable

vegas be lookin kinda fresh i wannna go

i wanna stay at the lotus hotel this place looks sick asf

lotus flower treats yummy yum

here comes gaga 😮

why they laugjing so much

wonder if nico likes gaga

imagine like 10 yr old nico just straight vibing there

grover pulling out the dance movies yessir 🤩

“no❤️ percy don’t eat the flower”

why didn’t percy just like grab the flowers and throw them

OOOO KESHA WE LOVE TO SEE IT

TIKTOK ON THE CLOCK BUT THE PARTY DONT STOP NOW WOAHWOAHWOAH

i’m bored ✨

ooo skeletons

charon my queen 👑🥳

“we drowned in a bathtub, all three of us” 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

i wish that was in the movie

i wish a lot of things were in the movie hit that is high

we’re in the same boat in the very same boat

how do you get seasick in an elevator- BOAT?

the way to the underworld is over the styx it’s a river

i know, you show off chicks

sexist much? go make a splash

i’ll splash you

it’s like watching titian’s clash, they’ll kill each other it they’ll kiss if we’re lucky they’ll end up in an abyss

um

anyways✨

hades do be looking kinda cool tho

that’s a cool ring you got there hades

omg mommy sally 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

how did percy not notice the lightening bolt in the damn shield befORE???

“it’s luke shield he betrayed us”

damn she switched sides real fast

this phoney bitch why does she want power and a war sis go plant shit

i refuse to believe hades is abusive sorry sis you ain’t fooling me

god where’s Juniper when you need her

so no fight between percy and aries 🤡

instead we have lukey pukey

omh he’s the lightening thief i did not see that coming ong 😳

^^ me on twitter after it’s revealed on the percy jackson tv show

can this luke character chile

percy pulled a harry styles and said “i’m falling” 😔

i’m thE SON OF POSEIDON I NEVER ASKED TO BE BUT IM THE SON OF POSEIDON

“yeah, i think i am the son of poseidon”

okay 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

omG i goT bUtTerFliEs

how does s-dog jusy know how to get to olympus did y’all get freaky up there or

that’s actually kinda how i imagine olympus looking so

i guess

good job

maybe

what is this ant man why they so small

“i have no connection to poseidon”

p-dog looked kinda hurted 😳

as if zeus would ever compliment percy

has athena ever told annabeth *or any of her kids* i’m proud of you

“i need to speak with him” “just this once”

yet we got poseidon showing up once in awhile just to say hi

7 months? 😀

percy was 7 months old?

now i don’t remember much but i don’t think it was that long luv ❤️

“always”

i thought i was watching percy jackson not harry potter tf is up

sally and percy have my whole heart

g-man got his horns

chiron 🥺✨

missed my main hoe 😍

why are there so many fucking campers

there’s like 500

let’s take a chill pill shall we

annabeth and percy look like siblings in this

 incest 😳

they bouta fiGHTshe better have won

k well that’s it thank the gods 😘

i’ll be back in like 4 months to review sea of monsters i need a break of bullshit

OH ITS NOT OVER

it’s gabe

he pulled a demi

stone cold

stone cold

everyone will be happier without him

[crushedrosepetals]

I don't make the rules but you need to answer all of the Valentine's asks

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? No thank god

2: Have you ever been deeply in love? no

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in? idk

4: Have you ever changed for someone? to a certain extent, i usually hide certain parts of myself when i first meet them if i feel like i wont be accepted

5: How is your relationship with your ex? friends

6: Have you ever been cheated on? omg i was thinking about this the other day lol bc someone made me paranoid by saying some shit to me but not to my knowledge but fuck i dont wanna know lol

7: Have you ever cheated? no

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating? no

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship? im gonna go with the stereotypical communication tbh 

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? idk meh i like to be on the same page as the other person lol whatever that means lol as long as we know what were doing 

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”? i dont know,,

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? all of it lol. actually idk tbh i hate a lot that happened, the way things went down

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? never thought about it lol idk

15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”? idk how to word this lol. as long as its legal obviously 

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”? lust maybe

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet? mhm

18: What do you consider a deal breaker? idk tbh i take more shit from people than i care to admit lol 

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship? if it hurts more than it makes you happy

20: Are you currently in a relationship? nah

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? depends on so many things tbh like how it ended, how ya’ll feel about each other, etc

22: Do you think people should date their friends? i mean for the most part, whoever you date will end up being a close friend so it’s the same scary shit, the thought of losing that ig so i mean the risk is the same lol. idek if i answered the question but ya know?

23: How many relationships have you had? depends on your definition of a relationship

24: Do you think love can last forever? idk lol. scary to think about

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? probably not but i dont really know what this means

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? probably not 

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? oooh idk. thats a good question lol

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? yea

29: What do you notice first about another person? i feel like i notice hair first lol. not in like I have like a Hair Kink or some shit but i’m always like ‘oh she has nice hair

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? confused lol at this point im not trying to figure it out anymore but i’m not Straight

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? no

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? eh 

33: Do you want to get married one day? lol who would marry me tho

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed? nope lol literally never

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? ye

36: Are you still a virgin? mhm

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality? personality

38: Do you enjoy love films? yeah they’re my fav lol

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? i think so

40: Have you ever had a valentine? nah

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”? A date in general LOL. i have anxiety about resturants and Fancy Places so like a chill ass shit ya know, i appreciate small things like picnics, movie nights, ice skating, baking shit idk

42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”?yeah lol required in hs

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends? time for both always

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”? yeah im a fuckign sap lol 

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? like actually? no but i liek being affectionate and shit with them lol

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”? i mean not really

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite? theres like someone on the tip of my tongue but idk who?

48: What’s your favorite love song? wait omg I’ll just Wait by emarosa is kinda a love song maybe (?) but fuck that shit fucks me up lol

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? i mean idk i doubt it

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are? i never leave my house LOl im like sort of kidding but idk 

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy? nice guy

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships? i’m kinda shitty tbh I don’t know how to word things and im a fake deep ass bitch 

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single? i don’t think so but i’m a lowkey bitter bitch who hopes everyone breaks up with their partner lol so maybe. just kidding yeah no i only get jealous if im constantly third wheeling

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)? i liek bragging about whoever im dating but i feel like i’d never do it on facebook lol

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”? maybe lol but i know how to not show it 

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? oH i just realized this probably means someone elses lol no

57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart? mm idk how to answer that 

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? idrk what this means lol if it’s not sexually 

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary? i don’t forget dates but sometimes i dont keep track of days so i’ll know what day the thing is but i wont realize its the day if that makes any sense lol 

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships? not my business what other people do but I could never do one

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family

62: How do you define “cheating”? i once read somewhere that it’s something you feel like you have to hide from the other person and i feel like thats a pretty good way to put it idk. if that makes sense lol 

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? nope

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? im a sappy bitch but i mean it kinda sucks when ur single bUt if you get some friends to chill with then it’s pretty awesome or just like chill in ur bathtub like a wine mom with your bubble bath ya feel?

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”? yes yes yes i love affection