#its probably because ive been averaging around 4 hours of sleep each day for the last week now so my body is hella in sleep debt

[heyitslapis]

I slept about 7.5 hours before coming to work but im still so fuckkng exhausted i could probably easily sleep for half of my shift

[felltheheavens]

Waiting Room

‘Are you family?’

‘No.’

That was it, that was all they needed to know to relegate me to the waiting room and its cold plastic comforts for the next few hours. Never mind her family was too busy, too addicted, too abusive to turn up. Never mind that I loved her.

I wrung my hands, again. I clicked my knuckles and stretched my fingers and checked my phone – not that there’s much to do on it at gone 3 o’clock in the morning. What a time to drag me to hospital, huh.

The coffee shop was shut, unsurprisingly, so I got myself a glass of water instead. I savoured it, trying to help the time pass, stopping and swallowing between every sip. I picked the polish off my nails. I paced until the tiredness kicked in. I asked if I could see her every chance I could, but she was in no state to be seen. My heart ached every time I pictured her hooked up to an IV, semi-conscious and alone, so I tried not to think about it.

I wrung my hands again, and I got some more water.

I used the sterile, impersonal hospital bathroom. I checked my phone, more out of habit than anything else. Even the other people that might have cared had gone to sleep.

4.07 a.m.

It takes a certain dedication to know how much over-the-counter cold medication will stop your heart. Trust me, I’ve done the research, and it’s not easy. But for a 49kg girl with 4 pharmacies in walking distance, it was doable. Too doable.

I closed my eyes and could hear my blood moving. It sounded like the ocean, like waves crashing into cliffs with lethal force. It sounded like one step wrong and your life is over. It sounded like a reminder that mine wasn’t; not yet, and I didn’t want to know whose life it would remind me of next, so I opened my eyes. The harsh fluorescent lights cast stiff, sharp shadows on the linoleum, and I wondered if I would see pictures in them if I was less tired.

‘Shit time to be waiting in a hospital, huh.’

I hadn’t noticed the man in the corner. From a glance he looked like the type you don’t want to start a conversation with, tall and dark with fingerless gloves and mildly slurred words, slumped into a chair. His hands were jittery, his jacket worn and stained, his slight beard an unkempt mess. But it was gone 4 a.m., so who gives a fuck?

‘Yeah, it is.’

He chuckled, and I looked at him properly. His eyes were so dark I couldn’t see his irises – or maybe he was so high his pupils had engulfed them.

‘You should go home.’

I shook my head. ‘Can’t, need to know whether my friend is okay.’

‘And you don’t think that answer will be there after a few hours’ sleep?’

He made such a good point I didn’t know how to respond.

‘Why are you here?’

‘Don’t have anywhere else to be.’ He shrugged. I didn’t want to pry, so I didn’t. ‘You know how many people die per day?’

I was a little taken aback, but I decided to answer anyway. ‘Um…a lot?’

He smirked slightly and fiddled with the fingers of his gloves, and I got the feeling he was far better acquainted with death than I would ever be.

‘One hundred and fifty thousand a day, on average.’ He took his time tasting each word, enunciating so clearly I suddenly got the impression that he was stone cold sober. ‘One’s probably gone since I started this sentence.’

I didn’t know what to say to that.

I believe in a God, I think, I believe in Life and Death and their eternal balancing act. I know that things are meaningless if they do not end, and life shouldn’t be meaningless. I know that life comes and goes, babies are born and old people die, and this is immutable. I know that no one and nothing is immortal. I know all this, and I know it doesn’t mean a damn thing when someone you love dies, because it still always feels like you are drowning and there is no lifeline.

‘Their poor family.’

‘Maybe their family is happy. Maybe they were a cunt. Or maybe it ended a good person’s suffering, maybe it was a relief, who knows?’

I didn’t respond, but I thought about how there are people that this world would be better off without, and I thought about how my grandmother was treated like an animal at the end, fed through tubes and wearing a nappy, and I thought he might have a point.

‘Sorry I’m not more talkative, but it is gone 4 a.m. and I’ve got my own shit going on. Nothing personal.’ I didn’t know if I was sorry, really, but it seemed the polite thing to say. The silence stretched for a few moments, long enough that I thought I he might have passed out, and I almost found myself disappointed by that idea. Then his head jerked up and his eyes met mine.

‘Do you think she’ll survive?’

I thought about it. I thought about her tiny, frail body and the number of pills she swallowed and how the first time she tried to kill herself she was 9. I think about her crazy fast metabolism and how quickly they got an ambulance and her resilience and how I cannot lose her, not tonight, not like this. I think about everything I know about her and overdosing and life and death, and I say what I have been scared to realise all evening.

‘Yeah, I think so.’ It seemed too good to be true, so I tried to justify it. ‘They would have told me if she’d gone, right? And she’s been here for hours and no one’s come to tell me anything, so she must be heading towards stable, right? Yeah, I think she’ll survive.’ I said ‘think’ but I meant ‘hope and pray’.

‘She will.’

I stared at him, because he didn’t know that. If he had been a sleep-deprived nurse, or a well-intentioned mother, I would have scoffed. But I wanted to believe him, and maybe want was all I needed that night, because I did. I mumbled something vaguely affirmative, but he seemed to hear me. I wanted to believe I wouldn’t lose her because I didn’t know if I believed I would survive if I did. I didn’t know if I could surface after another set of breaking waves, not after my grandparents, and my brother’s best friend, and my godmum’s parents, my grandad’s best friend, my second cousin in America, and that girl from my school with the brain tumour and-

‘She will,’ he repeated.

I had no reason to believe him. He was some stranger who struck up conversation in public; that alone is enough to have made me wary of him and anything he told me. His eyes were flicking around so quickly, his movements so unnatural and jerky, his entire demeanour so unsettling, I really thought he was probably high. But I was tired. I was sleep-deprived, sure, but I didn’t mean that kind of tired; I was tired of my friends hurting and I was tired of this shitty world and I think I might just have been tired enough to trust a stranger for no reason at all.

‘I hope so.’

‘It’s not her time. You both have a lot of life left to live.’

It was a strange reassurance coming from a stranger, but I accepted it. I was glad he thought I looked young. I was, I was barely in my twenties, but I felt world-weary and I had found another grey hair that morning.

I didn’t mean to let myself hope, but before I knew it I was imagining me and her in 10 years or so, I was imagining coming back here to visit her in the maternity ward instead of Accident and Emergency, and I wondered what this man would say to me if he met me then. I liked the idea that we had life left to live. I wanted us to go on to something amazing, something good at least, to keep going and get better and just fucking live. But she always seemed like she was just biding her time before she tried to kill herself again, and I hated the idea that she was waiting for death, and I knew that I couldn’t keep waiting with her.

Suddenly, as if he’d heard his name called, the stranger stood up, his head slightly cocked. I realised then that he must have been over 6 foot. He seemed skinny; his face was gaunt and his knuckles prominent, but he was in baggy trousers and oversized coat so it was hard to tell.

‘You take care now.’ He tipped his head towards me, as if acknowledging some connection between us, and he sauntered off into the bowels of the hospital, walking just wonky enough to seem high again.

I felt relieved; and I wasn’t sure if it was because I had met him, or because he had left. I brushed it off, and I drank some more water, and I checked my phone. I curled my legs beneath me on the hard plastic. At some point, in the bright white room, on that uncomfortable chair, my eyelids drooped. I remembered the stranger’s words, telling me to go home, to get some sleep, and then I don’t remember anything.

~

When I woke up, I was at home, and the sky was a few shades paler than dawn. I guess I must have gotten a taxi, or a bus, must have opened my door in a half-awake daze, and fallen into bed. I’d managed to strip off and tie up my hair, so that was good. I checked my phone.

She was okay.

She was okay, she was incredibly bored and quite tired, and I had 4 other people asking me about her, but she was okay, and that was enough to make me smile. It was strange, I didn’t feel that relieved. Is it relief if you know it’s coming?

I rolled over, pulled the blankets around me and committed myself to a few more hours in bed. I wasn’t quite awake, I was in that middle ground, that state between dreaming and consciousness where nothing is real and everything is possible. I slept, then, fitfully and in bursts. I dreamt of a hooded dark figure stalking the corridors of a hospital, scythe in hand, I dreamt of waking up next to a heart monitor when you weren’t sure you would wake up at all, I dreamt of Life and Death chasing each other through my old school playground, running in circles. I dreamt of the stranger, standing over me in sixty years, speaking oh so clearly as he took my hand and lead my soul from my body, and the overwhelming calm I felt as I left it behind.

I dreamt, and then I fell into oblivion, and I slept so peacefully I could have been mistaken for a corpse. I would wake, a few hours later, to a bright day full of sunshine and opportunity. To a world where no one I loved was in danger, where meetings with strangers were just anecdotes, where 4.07 a.m. a time I was never meant to see. I would wake to a world where things were slightly better than they had been the night before.

But for now, I slept, and I dreamt, and I was at peace.

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 6

Last Time on Grand Theft Auto:

Tsubasa recovers from the world’s gayest coma as Hibiki trains her mind while putting aside such silly concepts as “the love of my life” and “literally being with my girlfriend.” After cooling Miku’s paranoia with her brand new washboard abs, Genjuro prepares the team for a pizza run across the city to deliver a dangerously hot pizza pie named Durandal. Chaos emerges as the delivery is intercepted by a rival pizza gang, lead by the nefarious Gremlin known as Yukine Chris. But, before the pizza could be claimed, dedicated pizza deliverywoman Hibiki not only steals it back, but eats it, harnessing the power of the pizza and unleashing cheesy pasta based chaos around the location.

Ryoko is so into it that she taps into her superpowers and protects Hibiki after she passes out. The delivery is considered a failure, and no tip is given.

And so, the journey continues...

Meanwhile, in this weird, tricked out mansion...

Chris meditates on some water metaphors of her own.

“that pacman colored freak took only touching it to activate a cheap ass french sword that gave her weird demon powers and its taken me YEARS to use this dumb stripper outfit and the funny cane that goes with it, what the FUCK man, what even is my life”

“maybe... maybe honeybaked hams ARE that powerful...”

“NO! turkey is the superior meat! it’s healthier, lower in fat, and way more tasty! fuck you! i’ll get my goddamned revenge!”

Chris begins musing about Fine’s motivations to capture Hibiki; during these, we’re treated to some brief image flashbacks of Chris’s life.

Suddenly, those jokes about food are a lot less funny.

It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together as to why this young woman is helping a strange nudist dominatrix spread alien terror across the city of mumblednoises, Japan. She doesn’t really have many an option on the table. It’s either help the weird kinkster with her plans, or die.

Despite everything, she has a high opinion of Fine, for the same reasons someone might have a high opinion of a television show if it were the only show they were ever exposed to. She is deeply afraid of being alone again, because she has lived through such misery that the very thought of existing out in the cold again terrifies the shit out of her.

The Sun rises casually amidst Chris’s thoughts.

“ah shit. it just hit me. i literally have spent the entire night standing here instead of actually going the fuck to sleep. goddamnit.”

On such a devious metaphorical twist, Fine stands behind her as the Sun rises.

“yeah, jokes on you. i couldnt sleep for shit either. turns out, all nude, no blankets? in japan? real bad idea.”

“thats why i decided to GO GOTH, babey! whattaya think? do i give those witchy vibes, huh? real ‘black magic woman’ santana hours? feeling cute, gonna head out with the girls and summon satan in the woods kinda aesthetic looking shit? come on, be real with me. does this not look baller?”

“you look like morticia decided to go to the grocery store to buy some wonder bread, but other than that, its a step up from your usual pussy out attitude, so sure”

“you know i decided to get some brain cells on loan from Brain Cells R Us, and ive been thinking this solomon cane stuff is solomon lame. i dont need this dumb oversized harry potter cosplay prop to get shit done. also, murder is... sorta bad? im still trying to get the brain cell stuff down.”

“i can punch just as good as goody two shoes if not better.”

“lol go do it then champ, im gonna go cut down a forest of trees now”

And so, they both just kinda... stand there.

“QUACK, NEXT SCENE, QUACK”

Meanwhile, Tsubasa is rapidly trying to rehabilitate herself from her wounds like walking like a madman, her IV drip presumably filled with Taco Bell brand Doritos Locos Tacos super spicy nacho cheese. Taco Bell: Live Mas.

“im gonna clear every fucking taco bell in your goddamned memory, kanade”

“think outside the bun! wait, what? that was a taco bell slogan? ah fuck it, im dead. what nerd’s gonna try and correct me?”

“i would, kanade. i am that nerd.”

Tsubasa is hell bent to try and understand Kanade’s simple philosophy of helping others selflessly. Unfortunately, when Kanade died, she took all the brain cells between them in the process, so coming to this epiphany is a work in progress.

“listen its a fucking miracle you are 1. alive and 2. able to have your blood run on the garbage melted plastic taco bell tries to dupe people into believing is cheese so why dont you just lie down and think of better franchises to eat from”

“no! you dont understand! taco bell is a franchise of the PEOPLE! their meals are cheap and filling and- and the chicken quesadillas are of good quality for their price! i promised kanade- my vow to the death. taco bell... ergh... now and forever... i-”

“wait. my gay senses are tingling.”

It’s Hibiki, probably running track with Miku.

“oh yeah... her... i should probably apologize to her. about trying to kill her. and then letting her almost be kidnapped. and just giving her a general hard time about something that wasn’t explained to her in the slightest for months. she’s a good bean.”

Tsubasa proceeds to never canonically apologize to Hibiki throughout the entirety of all 4 seasons of Symphogear.

Look at em run. See, it’s a metaphor, because they haven’t communicated yet and they’re running from their problems! But they’re running towards Tsubasa, who is part of the representative problem these two share! Clearly literary genius.

It’s like someone went halfway into writing an NTR plotline and went “maybe this isn’t a good idea to market our songs on.”

Hibiki is still thinking about her Hellshake Yano moment with Durandal. Mainly how she nearly killed someone with it. Hibiki is very starkly in the “killing is bad, and wrong” camp of morality, a trait currently unique to her that she’ll wind up teaching literally everyone else she meets one way or another.

Some could argue the L stands for Lydian, and they’re wrong. It stands for Lesbian.

“that was one hell of a run, hibiki! im pooped! why dont we go to the locker room and call it a day, have a nice shower and just get some dinn-”

“this is the last straw.

i clean your plates. i cook your food. we eat, shit, shower, and sleep in the same FUCKING area, and this is how you repay me? huh? you think being your wife is easy shit, hibiki? half the damn time you’re running off like clark kent having food poisoning and the other half ive gotta babysit you, the emotional equivalent of a preteen clown, to make sure your life doesn’t self destruct harder than Atlantis sinking into the ocean. im done! i am DONE. im reopening my tinder, im slamming my ass BACK into okcupid, and im gonna date some CUTE ACADEMY GIRLS that treat me BETTER than this ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL OF HEART AND IM NOT CRYING I SWEAR ITS JUST THE SWEAT IN MY EYES AND HIBIKI HOW COULD YOU-”

“oh yeah, sure! hey, lemme just do a few more laps, ive just been feeling judgmental about myself and my figure, you know? gotta push myself further...”

“o-oh yeah, sure. no worries, ill wait for you. love you too, hibiki...”

The girls bathe together, as good friends typically do.

“hey you ever notice the showers here have like, weird psuedo-luxurious minipools to bathe in? like, how rich is this school?”

“whoever made this place is either rich or a pervert. or both, probably!”

Miku remarks that Hibiki has changed since she’s entered Lydian, in a manner most unheterosexual.

“oh FUCK you really DO have washboard abs now! ohhh my god.”

“damn, those abs were heavenly. let’s get pancakes later.”

I won’t screenshot it but something to note is that they actually wear each other’s corresponding underwear colors (or even, if you want to examine more closely, each other’s underwear). Here’s an equivalent scene to give you the mental image.

This is the face of someone who knows what they want and already have it. Such is the power of Kohinata Miku.

Meanwhile, Genjuro comes back from the funeral of the guy the Americans filled violently and with impunity.

“yo that all black look looks baller. i should borrow that look... id look pretty gothy in it.”

“ryoko i sympathize with your sharp, fashionista eye but this was for a funeral, i was paying my respects to the dead. thats the usual dress code.”

“didnt know they updated that. i remember back in my day, we just went in white garments and chanted in latin!”

“shit was fire. literally. lots of funeral pyres.”

“lmao ryoko buddy your larping sessions arent actual history”

“hey dont shit on larping around me. i used to be a professional larper while i was majoring in acting. helped really sell my career when i had to pretend to slay the Dark Lord Jyarloen atop the mountain of skulls in Hargobor after my family was killed by the Dark Army. asshole.”

“haha yeah, larping, thats cool yeah, i do that

i...

i larp.”

“oh yeah? you wanna join my larping session sometime then? we’re gonna do an ancient babylon plot thats inspired by some anime, itll be fun”

“.....................................im super into realism.”

“i know im dressed for a funeral but id like to not part ways with my dignity yet. besides, we’ve got serious shit to talk about. basically, we’re on the verge of getting shitcanned.”

As it turns out, the death of this politician removed the last obstacle of opposition to maintain the 2nd Division, as the average criticism against the 2nd Division is “why are we funding this mystery division when we don’t know what they do”. Of course, the sensible idea for an organization that defeats the Noise is to declassify it, given people of different jobs and positions have physically seen the Symphogear in action, but you know. “Oh no, the other governments will come after us” stick gets shaken.

“im in a union. i know my rights. you’re not taking my acting job here away from me.”

“im not going back to be a preschool teacher. its been ten year. the bites on my ankles still havent healed...”

“yeah man, shit sucks ass. i cant fund my adoption habits if im fired.”

Look at these cinematic parallels. Symphogear truly is a franchise made by someone living in 3030.

“worst part is the new minister is super into america. he’s a... westaboo.”

“a westaboo?”

“westaboo?”

“did he just unironically say westaboo”

“he said westaboo. oh my god. this is the hell timeline.”

“i mean people kept calling me that for worshipping all these fighting flicks so i guess it fit? i dont see the problem here”

Meanwhile, in Lydian Academy...

“so it hit me, right? we’re ALL girls. and we ALL sing. now, humor me a moment. what if... what if we’ve all been recruited to potentially be superheroes... through our singing? like, there’s no coincidence that all this shit happens around us, right? and a famous singer LIVES here? i saw the black cars outside! weird shit is happening here- im not even gonna eat the all you can eat bar anymore!”

“kathy there is literally no such thing as superheroes who sing. this place is more likely to be a organ harvesting op than whatever madness you’re saying”

“what? you need me, a singing superhero, to go stop a problem happening underneath the school, a location meant to recruit young women into potentially becoming fellow crime fighting singers?”

“yeah im too busy poppin’ caps in asses so go kick ass in my place”

“sure!”

“.....................................who ya talkin to, hibiki?”

“the boss! gotta go do a thing again...”

“hibiki, i dont like the fact that capitalism is tearing us apart.”

“you’ve gotta join me in the revolution, hibiki. you. me. luxury automated gay space communism. aint it the dream? share my vision, hibiki. its glorious.”

“n... no...? no gay space communism today? well, what about tomorrow? or the next day? or... maybe the next day? baby steps, you say? but, direction action, hibiki! we’ve gotta strike now!”

“it’s okay hibiki. when i take over the world and destroy all first world government leaders, and unite the globe in my encompassing reign and love... ill make sure to spare you, and be my bride to be.”

“thanks miku. im just not ready yet for the globe to burn in an unending ball of fire as the continents fuse into a new utopia composed of our combined wills. also, ive really gotta go, its genuinely an emergency.”

“for the cause!”

“yes hibiki... for the cause...”

Admittedly, you can see the stages of grief Miku goes through when she sees Hibiki say she can’t join her for pancakes. It’s sad. This side story sucks.

Meanwhile, as it turns out, the problem Hibiki needed to resolve was checking on Tsubasa to see if she hadn’t dissolved into Taco Bell brand hot n’ spicy Tabasco sauce.

“god, cant believe taco bell was closed. now i gotta deliver these lame ass flowers”

“cant wait to get threatened again. wonder what she’ll say. ‘hibiki, i should have killed you when i had the chance.’ or ‘you’re so goddamned weak. i could break your spine with my fingernail’, or some other stuff about metaphors. oh, my stops here”

“HEY BITCH WHATS GOOD-”

“HOLY SHIT”

“you are already”

“dead.”

[maggiehanhamgrad701]

All About Annie

MY LOVES

Its about time we become straight up and just say what we are all thinking right (lol)? So here I go, here at the most annoying, frustrating and honest things that float to my brain when I think of Endometriosis.

HERE ARE THE CONFESSIONS OF AN ENDOMETRIOSIS SUFFERER\

Yeah, sorry to get straight into it with the gorey details. However the amount of underwear ive had to handwash in the shower, or are to far gone and had to be thrown in the bin is so high I have lost count. Might I add it really sucks when I treat myself to a beautful sexy matching bra and undies set and after the first wear I have to bin them.

2. Constant STI/STD Checks

OK this one for me is a serious annoyance. The fact that I have probably had more check-ups than a sex worker (no hate) is absolutley ridiculous. Its even more frustrating when I explain that ‘I was literally tested a month or 2 ago and havnt had sex since then’ and still get poked and proded amazes me. Even more crazy is the fact me and my boyfriend were given pills to take for an STD even though we both tested negative more than ten times, but just in case we had to take them. I have endo, not a STD mate.

3. “OMG I get really bad period pains toooooo”

Look, I know you trying to be supportive or whatever by saying this however this one one of the most offensive things you can say to an endo sufferer. You may get severe period pains and that sucks, but the fact that you think endo is just period pains is frustraing. When you can hardly get out of bed for weeks on end, talk to me.

4. Greasy Hair and Hairy Legs

You know you are having a bad episode when even the thought of showering is draining let alone actually completing this task. So to say I literally get in and out would be quite a good description. My poor boyfriend putting up with my hairy body and my poor, poor cute outfits being let down by a greasy bun. Oh the joys of fatigue.

5. Paying for Pads and Tampons

This stuff is expensive, espically when you bleed for 6 weeks straight. Goverment listen up, fund ’em!

6. When everyone you meet suddenly has the ‘answer to my prayers’

Im just not even gonna…….

7. “My Aunty had a baby and thats how she cured her Endometriosis”…..

First of all, CURE – LOL, second of all, whatever rock you live under, please remove yourself from it and educate yourself, Pregnancy doesn’t help everyone people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8. When the Staff in the Emergency Department think your a Drug addict

We all must have been here right? The funny looks, the whispers and stares, the “are you sure your really in pain hunny” chats. A common complaint from a lot of woman who deal with Endometriosis is they are made to feel like drug seekers. Seriously? Do you think I want to be lying in a cold, loud hospital wing on a Tuesday night at 1:13am instead of my warm cosy bed fast asleep? Do you really think if I had a choice I would like to be hooked up to a morphine drip filling myself with pharmaceutical crap?? NO I AM NOT SEEKING DRUGS! But I would really like them to help get rid of this pain so please come to your senses and realise I am in desperate need of your help and assist me in getting sane and comfortable enough to head home, thanks 🙂

9. The wheat bag is just never hot enough

Ok, how many of us have literally nearly burnt ourselves from frying our skin with an extra hot wheaty? (I imagine you are all raising your hands at this point) When the pains are so bad it is literally impossible to get your heat device hot enough to even slightly make the cramps bearable, there is so no saving you lol.

10. “Does like, that mean you can’t ever have babies?”

Firstly, sit down you insensitive human. Secondly, my chances do become slimmer then normal, thanks for reminding me 🙂 isn’t it actually the worst when people don’t even think about how this question is going to make you feel? So cut throat it hurts.

11. Painsomina

100% is a thing. 100%. You are so sore, that you can’t even sleep. But you are so tired and exhausted from being in pain all day and you just wanna sleep. But you can’t, cos your in pain still and you cannot get comfortable no matter how hard you try or how many painkillers you take. You are just awake, dying a slow death whilst watching time slowllllllly tick by.

12. Explaining to your new partner what is wrong with you

Isn’t the “it sometimes hurts to have sex” convo literally the worst? Explaining to a male who has it drilled in his head that periods are even more taboo to talk about then the devil, that what Endometriosis is and how it effects you, ughhhhhh such a drag. I actually have now decided we should get like gold medals after having this conversation?

13. The initial convincing the doctors theres something wrong with you saga

Omg how did I nearly forget this one? THE ABSOLUTE WORST! Trying to convince a medical professional that your BODY HATESSSSSSS YOUUUUU and them not believing you for idk, like 8 years (using that number as its the average time a girl has to wait for a diagnosis) is so horrible. I remember the “take some pandadol, its just a bad period” chats like it was yesterday. You leave feeling so deflated and so mental

14. The after surgery gas

Haha k, I’m sorry, we have to discuss it. The first few days after surgery, and all that gas that they have pumped your tummy with is leaving your body, so embarrassing lol. You feel so un feminine and its so unacceptable. With no choice in the matter, “Pardon me” becomes your new favourite saying

15. When tired really, reallllly means TIRED

I literally hate it when I get to this point. When you actually have to put thought into picking up each leg when you walk. When simple tasks such as the dishes, folding the washing or brushing your goddam teeth feel like an olympic race. Once the fatigue takes over, the only thought I can concentrate on properly is getting myself to bed.

16. The bloating

You don’t know bloat until you have meet the Endo belly bloat right? Being that bloated sucks, especially when it means you can no longer eat your favourite chocolate unless you want to deal with the 4 month pregnant belly look. Even worse, looking pregnant when you run the possibility of never actually being able to be pregnant – can suck it.

17. Having your period, like all the time

SO many of us have been here – the never ending period. The waiting for it to finish and it never does. The loosing count of how long it has been since you didn’t have to change a tampon. The “OMG WHY WONT YOU GO AWAY” tears whilst sitting on the toilet unwrapping yet another night pad that will only last an hour because the flow is so heavy. Lets all have a moment of silence for all those who have been there, we deserve it.

18. You become your friends and families pharamcist

“So, can I take these two medications together?”

“You know that thing I got off you that time I felt nauseas, can I take some home with me?”

“I have a headache, do you have anything that will help?”

“Will I be fine if I take this without food?”

“How many of these can I take at once?”

19. Cramps

Its an obvious one, yet one that still needs to be addressed. How flipping sore are those cramps though? Cramps in your belly, cramps in your back, in your legs, in your actual vagina! Like enough is enough. However your body doesn’t understand that saying and just keeps throwing you cramps on cramps.

20. Calling in sick for work

Having to try and explain that periods are not an easy task for you and that you need to stay home in bed to your manager is not a fun or ideal task. Having them believe the severity of it can be so hard. Especially when you did this last week, and now you have the same problem and they can’t quite get their head around how you have your period again in such a small amount of time? Like when is ” I have my period and I have Endometriosis so leave me be” going to be an acceptable reason for a sick day? I vote it should be now.

Guys, honestly lol – I could sit up all night typing because the list seems to be never ending. Feel free to add “the confession you wanna make but never say” into the comments below – I can’t wait to see what you all have to add and what I’ve missed!

Hope you had a lil laugh relating to the above.