#its one of the very first things i read with bruce and bruce 'keeper of the dead' wayne is just. guh.....

[martyrbat]

one of these days im going to get a tattoo of something that involves the hit short story perpetual mourning from forever famous to me batman black and white (1996) #1 and then im going to immediately fall over dead because i accomplished everything i needed to do in life

[catxsnow]

DAMIAN WAYNE FLUFF ALPHABET

A/N: It was pointed out that this got deleted so here it is again! Damian is 18+

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Damian doesn't focus on the physical attributes of you, so he finds your personality the most attractive. If you can keep up with his wit then he knows that you're a keeper. However, he does find himself getting lost in your eyes quite often so he would have to say that he loves those the most.  B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

I'm gonna have to say no. Damian loves you and he doesn't believe that he needs kids to keep loving you. Maybe when the two of you are way older, but he doesn't see having kids for a very long time. He would be open to adoption when you guys are too old for having your own kids. C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Damian hated cuddling with you at first. He ran warm enough as it was and to have another body under the blankets? He was sweating. Once he got used to it, Damian liked when you laid on his chest and he could wrap his arms around you.  D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Either ridiculously mundane or over the top extravagant there is no in between.

One time Damian took you across the world just to go hike and buy local delicacy. Another time he considered the grilled cheese sandwich Alfred made for you both a date. It really depends on what kind of occasion it is.  E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world...))

Damian says 'habibi, ya nour el ein' which means 'you're the light of my eye' in Arabic. F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

It took Damian a long time to realize that he was in love. It's not easy for him to love someone after the way he was raised to opening up to you was a side that he didn't know he had.

He realized it one night when you were tending to his wounds as being Robin. You worked silently as you always did. Damian realized that if there was anyone he wished to stitch him up day in day out it was you. He broke that silence with an 'I love you' and you had nearly fucked up his wound even more with shock. G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Damian is gentle but he gets violent when he had nightmares. He never means to hurt you and you know that, but he always feels terrible when he sees that he left you with a bruise because of his rash actions while in his sleep. You never blame him for his nightmares, he's gone through so much as it is. H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Damian doesn't like to hold hands, especially in public. The only time that he will willing grab onto you hand is if he can tell that you're nervous about something. Otherwise, just standing next to you is enough. I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

He didn't like you. Then again, he never liked anyone at first. J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Damian gets jealous for reason you never expect. He gets jealous of his brothers and when you spend time with any of them. He gets when Alfred the cat sits on you rather than him. He only got jealous at another man once and it didn't end well at all. He was all over the papers and Bruce nearly had a fit when he tried to fix what happened. K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

You did. He was being an asshole and wouldn't shut up about something so you decided to make him quit talking in a different kind of way. Damian didn't complain about it though. L = Love (Who says 'I love you' first?)

He did. You felt it first, but you never said anything until he felt comfortable enough to realize that he loved you too. M = Memory (What's their favourite memory together?)

His favorite memory was when he was trying to teach you to draw. Damian held the utmost patience for you and he genuinely enjoyed spending that time with you. You spent the whole day practicing and looking for his approval. He loved everything you drew simply because it came from you. He still has your drawings hanging up. N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Yes. Without question he'll buy you everything that you could ever dream of. Being the heir to the throne of the League of Assassins and son of Bruce Wayne he got a lot of items that he didn't even need. He loves to spoil you with things. O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Red. As calm and as patient as you were, you had a fiery side when it came to Damian being a brat. When he saw anything red, he always thought about the times that you called him out. P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Beloved (as every Damian fanfic has ever had) Habibti/Habibi (my love), Ameli (my hope) Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Damian is surrounded by tech all day. So when he takes to the time to read a good book, he's in his happy place. He's read all the great historic literature and has tried more modern books but didn't like them as much. R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Damian likes to draw on rainy days. He's got a great talent for it and doesn't get enough time to practice it. You'll be laying on his bed while he draws and the rain patters against the window. When you get lonely, you'll stare until he notices and then pout until he joins you in his bed. The half a drawing left no longer matter, he just wishes to hold you. S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Damian cheers himself up by training. He'll spend hours working out and training like he did back in the League. When he's finally wore himself out, he'll find you and pass out in your arms. That's all he needs.

When it comes to cheering you up, Damian became a great listener. He refrains from making snooty comments about the people that you are ranting about and tried to give a level headed solution to your problem. However, he's always ready to go petrify anyone that has made you upset. T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Damian's got a well-rounded knowledge about everything. He could talk to you about every war that's ever happened or how the earth works. When he's in a talkative mood, he loves to spill facts about everything that he knows. It's not a way of him being cocky, he's just genuinely excited to tell you things. U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Damian doesn't relax. But when he does, its when he's injured or forced to stay home. You'll baby him for the night and even though he seems mad about it, he enjoys it (only when it's from you, not anyone else). He'll get Alfred to bake you guys cookies and settle in for a movie of his picking. V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

Damian's proud of everything he does. He's a show off particularly with his athleticism. He doesn't have one specific thing that he likes to show off, except maybe his art. W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

Damian doesn't. X = Xylophone (What's their song?)

Bloodflood by alt-j Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Nope. Damian doesn't see the need for you two to get married. He doesn't want some fancy wedding just to show off your love. As long as you know how much he loves you, then that's all that he cares about. If he were to get married, it would be something extremely lowkey. Your immediate family and his, that's its. No supers, no teams, nothing. Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Damian was ready to adopt a whole herd of cows do you really think that he's going to settle on just one more pet? No, he's gonna get every single helpless animal that he can.

[currentfandomkick]

Marinette did not sign up for this part 10: Mari plots plotting

So long time no post. I live. Ish. Also finally figured out readmore on mobile, so yay. Will take forever to edit posts now though. Explanation at the bottom First part here previous part here. Ao3 here

Marinette wanted to go on record that Mandeliev did not, in fact, give her an extra day or so to study for the test. Why? Instead, she was told she may do a paper on the application of physics in gymnastics and principles of evasion in urban areas and how to combine the two to maximize one’s ability to run away from akumas and other dangers.

Or as Nino put it: “I am tormenting you into running better, the eight page essay.”

Alya dubbed it the “Run Better Paper.”

Aurore said it should include more formulas when Marinette showed her the draft. (as Adrien would complain about lack of theories and how she should have used this advanced formula she’d never heard of instead and then Marinette would have to forcibly stop him from taking over her paper. Again.)

Kim had taken to keeping her in his hoodie, escorting her to the bakery and didn’t leave her alone until Adrien said it was his “Marinette Anxiety Watch” shift.

Which she would like to go on record, is just plain mean to say. She has Liar 100% under control when world ending things and metaphorical bomb drops aren’t happening to her constantly.

—-

Bruce tried to contact Diana and Arthur again. Hal was off world, and therefore useless.

Why?

As his missing son hadn’t contacted them yet. Was still in the Miraculous team’s custody. And he saw the footage of Robin—Damian—being hunted by a lving shadow, an element casting swordswoman, and a strategist that seemed to know exactly what to do to keep Robin cornered in battle. The living shadows—Chat Noir—tried to kill his son with Cataclysm.

That was when they were in public, and had Hal watching over them.

He didn’t want to think about what the kids might do unsupervised to someone that tried to kill Ladybug, openly stalked her civilian self, and apparently tried stalk her again, in broad daylight. And possibly may have revealed her secret identity…

From the comments, it seemed that the Parisians hadn’t connected his sons aliases to the pair, writing it off as “Copy-cat Vigilantes” thankfully. And none of them were revealing more than “so the Fashion Disaster tried to go after Chat and Ryuko’s civvie… Not A Smart CopyBird” was the most he was able to get.

His children, on the other hand…

——

“I Fucking KNEW IT!” Tim yelled. “I knew it was her!”

“But,” Jason smirked. “You didn’t tell us.”

“Soup girl, baby bat!” Cass said gleefully.

“Wait, we both talked to her—and you didn’t say you thought it was her either Cass!”

“So what I’m hearing, if my ears don’t deceive me,” Jason continued. “Is that you all lost too.”

“What—“

“Wait a minute!”

“No way—”

Cass shrugged. She was the least invested in winning. She got to meet soup girl, who is very nice and her parents are safe for Baby Bat.

“We don’t have proof,” Dick pointed out. “Didn’t you say something about her being a mouse?”

“I—”

“Well—”

“Yes.” Cass cut through Tim and Stephanie’s waffling. “She is.”

Dick rubbed his forehead. “How many secrets can one kid have?”

“Five?” Jason said without much thought. “Limit is definitely five.”

—-

“Let me get this straight,” Miss Sting began, watching Ladybug very, very carefully. Rena and Carapace were busy that night and couldn’t act as the team’s Common Sense Filter in person. and texts only went so far.

So the job fell to Aurore. To talk (probably Marinette) Ladybug out of a Very, Stupendously, Inconceivably Bad Idea.

“You want to trust Robin—the kid who tried to kill you—to contact his mother—an assassin—to talk strategy about how to take down Hawkmoth’s civilian life’s business, not kill him, and trust that they won’t kill you?”

“…I’m bringing Chat with me.”

“Ladybug.”

“What, do you want me to use a Lucky Charm to prove this is our best bet?”

“You know what?” Miss Sting threw her hands up. “Yes, yes I do.”

“Fine.” Ladybug threw her yoyo skyward. “Lucky Charm!”

A red, spotted ball with an 8 on it came down.

“… you have got to be kidding me.”

Ladybug shrugged. “Uh, Magic Eightball, is it okay to trust Robin with this?”

One shake later and the floating die window read “Without a Doubt.”

“Give me that.” Miss Sting scowled, shaking as she asked. “Should she bring someone besides Chat and Robin—like someone from our team or Wonder Woman or Aquaman?”

The ball answered “Outlook not so good.”

Miss Sting glared at the magic eight ball. “I can’t believe this!”

Ladybug shrugged. “Lucky Charms are Lucky Charms—and I gotta go.”

Miss Sting checked her beeping spinning top. Someone was just akumatized.

“Re-charge first!” Miss Sting yelled before swinging ahead.

—-

“Oh, hey, when’s Demon Spawn going to contact us?” Jason asked as other bats calmed down.

“He’s not answering his communicator.” Bruce growled. “Hal took it earlier.”

The bats paused at that.

“Well then. Trackers?”

“Disabled—what? We didn’t need anyone crashing the apology and he ran off before I could stop him,” Dick defended. He is not Damian’s keeper. Just his Batman (as yes Bruce, he is Damian’s Batman and Damian is his Robin. Current masks not-withstanding).

“Then how are we supposed to find him?” Stephanie asked as the room grew uneasy.

No one answered that.

“How’s this,” Tim began. “Me, Steph and Cass agreed on who Hawkmoth probably is, each of us has a different set of evidence for it—and I’m counting breaking into his evil Liar and the cameras catching him mid-act a few minutes ago as absolute proof.”

“I’m sorry, you did what!” Stephanie leaned over Tim’s shoulder to see. “Oh shit. Isn’t that guy—”

“One of her friends? According to their private Instagram accounts, more like partner in crime and possible Chat Noir. I mean, he’s the one that calls her his “everyday Ladybug” and voices Chat Noir in everything." Tim answered idly. “My money’s on him not knowing at all.”

Bruce twitched. Then began to add ‘stalking social media feeds’ to his to-do list tonight.

“So,” Tim stepped forward. “I suggest we send this to the Wonder Woman and ask for Robin’s comm to be returned, and failing that, I bugged the video so anything they play it on, we get access to its IP and can find where they are.”

“Have Oracle go over the bug, just in case,” Bruce told them. “In the mean time, the rest of you suit up for the night. Gotham needs its vigilantes.”

—-

Marinette wanted to go on the record that her plan (to keep the bats away) was going well. Deciding what to do with Mu—R—Damian. Damian. Damian and his offer, was a challenge.

For obvious reasons, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman and Aquaman were against her asking a bunch of assassins for their help. Chat has more than a few reservations. Carapace, Rena and Miss Sting gave her looks for that plan.

But.

But it would work. She needs more information on how to make the plan burning in the back of her mind work. It’s a lot of chaos (and she may thrive in chaotic battles but this wasn’t her usual battlefield, and her team didn’t know who they were going up against for once). And Marinette? She needs to know its not just her doing this when its so out of her depths.

So despite literally everyone and their disagreements she had Chat on her right side with Damian on her left, meeting up with his Crazy, Semi-Immortal mother. And possibly his Immortal, former Black Cat candidate, grandfather.

Why?

As Marinette isn’t trusting the likely cult that makes up the Gotham Ghost Gang (Batfam if you like them) when she can get real advice and vague directions to immortal and allied (loyal and terrifying) assassins.

And yes, she wasn’t sure if Liar was wrong or right when they said it was a bad idea too.

But fuckit she’s already got Kaalki at her shoulder, looking a bit bored at the deserted rooftop that Kaalki chose for their meeting.

“داميان*,” the woman smiled at her son. “It’s good to see you.”

“Mother,” Robin greeted. “This is Ladybug and Chat Noir. Ladybug wished to speak to you about potential strategies to take down an enemy outside of battle without violence,” Damian stressed.

“I am well-aware of the Kwami and their Chosen, اِبْن.**” The woman spoke calmly. “The League of Assassins formed to act as the Black Cat to restore the world to balance and un-burden the Order with its maintenance.” The woman offer Ladybug her hand. “I am Talia al Ghul, and I am at your service, with or without violence Ladybug.”

Marinette took her hand. “Thank you Talia. Our target being directly exposed like I planned would have…” Ladybug trailed off, thinking over the ramifications not only to Adrien, but to the whole of Gabriel’s brand, workers and all that worked with them. “Some intense ramifications I’d rather avoid.”

Talia nodded her head, waiting for more information.

“I believe its possible to topple them without affecting their employees by uncoupling them from their business, but doing so is, well, stocks and economics isn’t my strongest point.” Ladybug admitted a bit sheepishly.

“I would suggest,” Talia began, “to create a bit of chaos in the stock market. Perhaps a rumor here and there, let investors pull out and grab the abandoned stocks quickly. Consolidate them under one owner and become the company’s owner.”

Marinette twitched a bit at that. “That… sounds complicated.”

“Oh, but it isn’t. My son knows just how to that, or did you forget our lessons?” Talia asked coolly.

Damian twitched at Marinette’s side. “I did not.”

“You know,” Chat chimed in. “I do know a few things about those things. If its general chaos, well…” Chat’s face twisted in a way Marinette forgot he could do after that Chat Blanc episode.

“… I will take that into consideration.”

“Anything else?” Talia asked, watching Ladybug and her son. Specifically, how her son seemed glued to the girl’s side. “I am certain my son is able to take out your target, if all else fails.”

Damian scowled at Marinette’s side.

“However, I do believe that whatever is happening, whatever has you active, might require a more… experience hand.”

Damian brushed against her side. Code for ‘Possible Danger.’

“Thank you for the offer,” Chat moved in front of Marinette. “But mi’lady and the Guardians have that much handled.”

Talia’s eyes shifted from Chat to Ladybug, staying on her. “Is that so?”

“Yes. I merely needed more information on how to execute this type of plan, that’s all!” Ladybug almost, almost slipped into Marinette while Liar, while silenced for the moment, prodded the back of her mind. “I want to minimize collateral damage as much as I can, to everyone. The kwami already said they get to chose the target’s punishment.”

“Ah, I see.” Talia relaxed then. “You are following the kwami’s wishes. I will respect their wishes as well, Chosen.”

Marinette categorized this interaction as one of the “not too horrible, but will avoid a repeat” once they left.

—

*Damian in arabic

**son

so we have Talia now as a Player, sort of. she plays by her word pretty well so hopefully its a cameo more than anything else.

any ideas on how JL will handle the video, and if Miraculous Team should see it and freak out or only LB and keep on the dl while JL assissts in her Chaos Plot?

End of update. Will have to repost from ao3 on my phone now as desktop tumblr is being exceptionally rude. Tags always open, just takes me a bit to do—sorry to vixen for vanishing from tags

TAGS:  @heldtogetherbysafetypins @laurcad123 @raisuke06 @chaosace @jeminiikrystal @toodaloo-kangaroo @kris-pines04 @bisha43rbs @izang @dreamykitty25 @emu-lumberjack @vixen-uchiha

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched (and books I read) this week - 29

The Lighthouse, an ominous story about two lighthouse keepers who descend into madness as they are stranded on a remote island. New England horror gothic of the 1890s. Stunning acting and black & white cinematography. Dark and crusty as the soul.

Willem Dafoe’s crazed Hark Triton, Hark monologue.

✴️  2 animated shorts:

✳️✳️✳️ One Small Step, from Taiko Studios: My most favorite not-Pixar animated short about a little girl and her old dad. I watched it 20 times, and I’ll watch it 20 more. 

10/10 - Perfect eight minutes of heartbreak and love.

✳️✳️✳️ Nothing happens, a Danish short: on a snowy field on the outskirts of town, a mysterious group of people gather to watch a flock of ravens.

✴️  

Nuri Bilge Ceylan's Winter Sleep, an epic 2014 Turkish adaptation of Chekhov’s short story "The Wife".

3+ hours long, dialogue-rich and slow exploration of an ambiguous hotel owner in Cappadocia, who is challenged by all the people around him, including his unhappy young wife and frustrated sister. Lyrical, refined, and cerebral - I’ll check out Ceylan’s other films.

✴️  

I didn’t remember that Chekhov wrote many hundreds of stories before dying young at 44. In order to better understand the narrative in ‘Winter Sleep’, I read his story ‘The Wife’ (full text here).

And indeed, the opaque, meandering film left much to interpretation. This short story made much clearer that this was an unhappy marriage, a misunderstood couple who couldn’t communicate any more without both feeling slighted and hurt. I couldn’t see why was the husband so disagreeable to everybody around them. But it helped bringing this broken life into focus.

✴️  

The Lure, a weird Polish horror-musical, very loosely adapted from Hans Christian Andersen's ‘Little Mermaid’. Combining siren sisters, cannibalism, kitschy vampires, MTV and trashy nightclubs in 1980′s Warsaw. The opening scene was the most promising - and it went down from there.

2/10

✴️

Charly, adapted from the sci-fi story ‘Flowers for Algernon’. A “retarded” Cliff Robertson is selected for a miraculous surgery that triples his IQ & makes him a genius. It starts innocently enough trying to address the plight of the mentally challenged, but once he falls in love with his teacher, it gets dated ridiculously fast.

The only lasting part of the movie is Ravi Shankar’s beautiful score.

Charly was the only movie my ‘teenager me’ saw together with my mother: I don’t remember how come we went to the theater and why she picked this one, but I was 15 then.

✴️   2 by Bob Nelson:

✳️✳️✳️ The confirmation: ‘The Bicycle Thieves’ in small town Washington. Clive Owen is a divorced, down-on-his-luck, loser father, who gets to spend a weekend from hell with his 8 year old son. The first half is gloomy and very hard to watch as all the daily things that can go wrong, do. But he gets to bond with his church-going son, and they both find redemption at the end.

This was directed by 60 year old first-time director Bob Nelson.

Best film of the week! 

✳️✳️✳️ Before Confirmation, Bob Nelson wrote the script for Alexander Payne’s Nebraska: another soft story about an estranged parent. This one has old, senile Bruce Dern and his son on a black and white road trip to claim an illusory million-dollar sweepstakes prize. Simple, austere, heart-breaking. 8/10.

✴️  

Ingmar Bergman’s 1975 stage production of Mozart’s masonic The Magic Flute.

First re-watch in 40+ years - what joy!

✴️  

Hilda af Klimt, The Life of an Artist, a short bio of the spiritualist and world’s first abstract painter. By educator Paul Priestley on his ‘Art History School’ YouTube channel.

✴️  

The Little World of Don Camillo, 1952, based on a book I loved as a kid. With toothy Fernandel as an activist priest in a power struggle with his frenemy the Bolshevik mayor. “In a small village in the Po valley”. Nostalgic throw-back to late 40′s Italy.

✴️  

The Insult, a 2017 Oscar-nominated Lebanese story about a cuss word that escalates until it engulfs the whole country. A Palestinian construction worker calls a hot-head Christian mechanic ‘A fucking prick (ARS)’ when he behaves like one, and - like the good middle-easterners they are - neither one can let it go until it nearly destroys both of them.

It would have been even better if it didn’t turn into a traditional courtroom drama in the second half, but still... 5/10

✴️  

David Fincher’s masterful The Social Network, about young hateful asshole Mark Zuckerberg stealing the concept of facebook from the Vinklevoss brothers. Terrific drama, crackling dialogue by Aaron Sorkin, and moody, tense score by Trent Reznor.

Not exactly sure how truthful the story is, but it helped establish the notion that he was always a despicable person, as confirmed in all his actions in the last 20 years,

✴️  

I can’t believe I just watched Long Shot AGAIN, a month or two after my last re-watch! Despite its cliched tropes, I can’t get enough of the romantic chemistry between drop-dead beautiful Charlize Theron & the schlubby guy she once babysat. (Photo Above).

And, O'Shea Jackson Jr. is a carbon copy of his dad, O'Shea Jackson Sr.

✴️ 

Flesh Gordon, a cheesy “sex comedy” from 1974, cheap spoof of the 1930′s Flash Gordon serials. Gratuitous, unfunny soft-core stupidity.

The concept of ‘No Consent’ was central to many of the early sexploitation movies. Not camp!

✴️  

Sons of Denmark, a misfired political thriller, about a growing anti-emigrant, white power movement in Denmark and its effects on the local Muslim population. 3/10

✴️  

The HBO documentary Catch And Kill, Ronan Farrow’s new series, based on his podcast, which was based on his book which was based on his reportage (Talking about milking a story).

Farrow was a hero, Weinstein was a super-creep, and I must stop watching HBO-type documentaries.

- - - - -

(My complete movie list is here)

[atamascolily]

Unicorn Chronicles, Book 3: “Dark Whispers,” by Bruce Coville

Whenever people grumble about how long it's been since their favorite fanfic updated, I can't help but smile a little in sympathy. As someone who's read a lot of CLAMP manga, I've grown used to the stutter-stop of hiatuses and discontinued stories that will never be finished. To quote the Princess Bride, "Get used to disappointment". It's just an occupational hazard.

I know people who only read completed stories, but I would have missed out on a lot of great material and works that really matter to me if I followed their example. It also meant that I got really good at imagining what happens next.

So it was a delight to discover that Bruce Coville had actually finished the Unicorn Chronicles when I was busy with other stuff (i.e., life) and there were two more volumes. Coville specifically thanks readers for nagging him about finishing, which is simultaneously #hilarious and #relatable.

Song of the Wanderer came out in 1999, right on the cusp of the Harry Potter boom that shook up the juvenile fantasy genre. (Both series are published by Scholastic.) Dark Whispers came out in 2008, and you can see how much the genre has shifted in the cover art alone:

This is gorgeous art by Petar Mesedlzija, but it only tangentially fits the descriptions in the books: Cara doesn't really wear anything like this outfit, and the story emphasizes she keeps braiding her hair to keep it from tangling. She has a sword, but she doesn’t really ever use it?

Furthermore, the layout, design, and chapter headings of Dark Whispers are clearly meant to capitalize on Harry Potter: Grimmwold has a looping signature reminiscent of Dumbeldore's in the opening prologue, for instance. It's a very different feel from the way the first two volumes were presented, and tbh, I miss the old way that has gone the way of the dinosaurs now.

Inevitably, with such a long gap between volumes, Dark Whispers ended up with a very different style and tone than its predecessors. The most obvious difference is that it's REALLY LONG--464 pages in hardcover. Some of this increase in length is attributable to Harry Potter proving that giant fantasy tomes can sell like hotcakes, and some of it is the fact that the storyline is now really big, with a lot of different players moving in different directions.

Inevitably, this means that instead of following Cara's POV for the entire book, as we did in the first two volumes, we are constantly shifting narrators. It's completely understandable, but as a reader, I find it really annoying--like I am suddenly reading an entirely different series with overlapping plot and characters. It's not that this new series is bad, per se, it's just... not what I imagined when I was making up the ending in my head in the early 2000s. I do not know if this disjunct would be so obvious or unsettling to someone who was reading all four volumes together for the first time.

Anyway, so since it's been literally a decade, Coville makes the sensible decision to open with a recap from Grimmwold, in his role as the keeper of the Unicorn Chronicles: unicorns and human hunters are at war; the latter are lead by an immortal woman named Beloved with a personal grudge against the unicorns, and she just got an amulet so she can invade Luster.

In Cara's plotline, she is still coming to terms with the fact that her grandmother, Ivy Morris, was a unicorn in disguise, and is now Queen Amalia Flickerfoot. Her grandfather Jaques is super depressed (because literary references, yo) and also because this is super-weird for him, too. As they prepare for Beloved's assault on Luster, Grimmwold reveals that pages from the Unicorn Chronicles are missing, and that others reveal an unsettling prophecy about unicorns confronting their own darkness and a mysterious figure called the Whisperer.

Another human, Alma Leonetti, comes forth and suggests that the centaurs might know more details. The Queen sends Cara and her friends to investigate, while Jaques and Thomas the Tinker go on separate missions. Thomas does give her a watch that marks the days and also explodes, so you know right away she's gonna need both on her trip. M'Gama the geomancer is trying to determine where and when the Hunters will invade: the date is the forthcoming Blood Moon, but she's still working out the details on the place.  

Grimmwold tells the group a story about Alma Leonetti, and how she tracked down the wizard Bellenmore, who opened the gate to Luster for the unicorns. Bellenmore has a snarky talking lizard and great tastes in decorating:

On the mantel above the fireplace stood a row of earthenware mugs with hideous faces. One of them winked at me; another leered and rolled its eyes; a third stuck out its tongue and made a rude noise. Then they began to sing a bawdy song until Bellenmore waved a hand to silence them.

Alma bluffs her way to Luster and eventually persuades the unicorns to keep one of their kind on Earth so humans don't forget true beauty and goodness and the spark is kept alive. The hunters keep trying to kill the Guardian, but they always replace the fallen with a new one and the cycle repeats.

We also learn that Ivy summoned Moonheart to heal Cara as a child, which is what alerted Beloved to her presence, forcing her to kidnap Cara and flee because Beloved wanted the child, too. Ian Hunter was a first grade teacher who had no idea about any of this until Cara disappeared and he was radicalized by Beloved and went through an intensive training camp she's built up for her army.

Meanwhile, Ian is in India, tracking down the Rainbow Prison where Beloved has imprisoned his wife. He makes a deal with a mysterious entity, the Blind Man, trading occasional use of his sight for the knowledge he needs. Beloved's men attack Ian, but he is saved by a street urchin named Rajiv who is eager for adventure, and the mysterious Fallon, who is trying to find a doorway to Luster. The three of them team up and head for the Himalayas to find the doorway to the Rainbow Prison while Beloved's forces pursue them. We learn that Fallon is super-hot and also seeking his best bro Elihu, in a relationship that I'm pretty sure was sexual although it's never stated directly.

There's also a plotline involving the delvers - the evil dwarves we mostly forgot about in Book 2. The King keeps talking to the Whisperer, and sending his subjects to do Evil Things as the alliance with Beloved continues. (The delvers do not love humans, but they hate unicorns and so the "enemy of my enemy is my friend" at least temporarily).

The plotlines converge when the delvers attack M'Gama the earthmancer's house and steal a macguffin and kill Flensa, M'Gama's servant. Cara's party splits up, with Finder and Belle hunting the macguffin while Cara and Lightfoot continue on. Finder is killed (sob) and Belle regrets being a jerk to him. Cara's group is attacked by delvers and she is captured and taken underground. (The delvers either don't know Beloved has an amulet already/don't care/want one for their own purposes.) Cara tosses the amulet into an abyss when it fails to transport her to earth, and she is imprisoned in the dungeons with a delver dissident who has had his name ritually stripped from him for defiance.

Cara renames the delver "Rocky" and the Squijum shows up with the amulet and steals the key. They meet up with Grimmwold, and escape. They also encounter the gryphon Medafil, who is lost below ground, only to wake a monster known as the schwartz, a Terminator-like blind dragon that never gives up pursuit. Cara defeats it using the expanding light sphere from Medafil's nest, and they emerge in the centaur's valley, where Belle is waiting for them with the news of Finder's death.

The centaurs are standoffish, but eventually Cara persuades their leader Chiron to spill the beans: after the war with Beloved began, the unicorns decided to expunge all the darkness from their souls with the aid of a magician named Elihu (hi!), which gained sentience and has been egging Beloved on ever since. It's also corrupted the delvers,which is why they hate unicorns so much. In exchange for the info, Cara agrees to mercy-kill Chiron, which none of the centaurs can do for personal reasons. Cara reports this story to the unicorns, who are all :shrug emoji: about it.  

Meanwhile Ian and company are stuck in the Rainbow Prison, the Dimblethum is being tormented by the Whisperer, and ends up taking the macguffin the delvers stole and placing it at the Axis Mundi, the world-tree of Luster, so that Beloved and her forces can enter there. Lightfoot tries to stop the Dimblethum but isn't in time. And the book ends on the seriously metal note of Beloved opening the portal beneath the blood moon and invading Luster with her army. *cue 'Bad Moon Rising'*

[Which, I may note, is pretty much where the LAST BOOK also ended.]

SO. That was a lot.

Once again, the core group of characters from Book One gets broken up. Thomas the Tinker gets sidetracked pretty quickly and isn't seen again; the Dimblethum gets a few brief sequences, but doesn't do much until the end. Lightfoot and Cara are separated fairly early on and don't have much time together, though their musings about their sudden familial connections at the beginning are nice, even though Cara also keeps shipping Belle with Lightfoot. Lightfoot himself doesn't get to do much, Finder dies, and Belle is likewise sidelined by the narrative for a decent chunk of the story. Coville also keeps emphasizing that Lightfoot is a Prince, which just grates on me, too.

I would also like to see more of Cara? She has plenty of scenes, but after two books of focusing solely on her, it's so strange to suddenly be jerked in different directions and it makes me grumpy.

It's great to see Medafil again, but I found the whole delvers/underground plot to drag on too long for my tastes. I'm glad Coville brings back that one delver from the first book who let Cara go because he thinks (rightly) his king is batshit crazy.

I like Alma Leonetti's story, but it feels unrelated to the plot, so I'm not entirely sure why it's there. I think it was originally a stand-alone short story, and I think it's better suited as one, because I can't figure out what its narrative purpose is. Or is it just that Grimmwold is contractually obligated to tell at least one story per book?? Or maybe this is something that will pay off in Book 4.

Ian Hunter's story basically bores me, and I found that whole subplot extremely tedious. He's been more or less retconned to be sympathetic and a victim, and I just don't know how I feel about that.

I HAVE SUCH MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT THE BIG REVEAL. On the one hand, it's a great twist to see the psychological shadow as the literal villain; on the other hand, it takes away some of the delvers' and Beloved's agency as villains in their own right because they're now Pawns of a Bigger Bad. It also just seems like such a weird thing for the unicorns to do--and maybe that's a way of making them more alien, but I don't know.

Coville explicitly uses the word 'hubris,' so it also feels weirdly victim-blaming to me because the unicorns are doing it to themselves (and this isn't just a war, but genocide we're talking about here!). For better or worse, this twist muddies the black and white/good vs. evil paradigm into shades of gray: the unicorns are beautiful and good but also arrogant assholes; Beloved is homicidal but also in terrible pain; the delvers are misunderstood and need to be embraced rather than ignored.

Alma Leonetti consistently delivers the best lines - I guess she's taken over the role Ivy Morris used to play, since Ivy is now a unicorn:

"Perhaps the unicorns need to try to recover some of what they have lost?... You face a dedicated enemy who has shown no mercy, one who will stop at nothing to destroy you. And what have you done? Gathered together, which is good. Prepared to defend yourselves, which is good, too. But is it enough? How fiercely are you willing to fight to save your lives? How strong can unicorns be? ... Maybe you need to take in some of that darkness you once released."

I remember feeling oddly disappointed on my first reading, which unfortunately persists on re-read. This story has now moved in a very different direction from the one I expected, and while that's not necessarily bad, it is unsettling and strange. As I mentioned earlier, some of that might just be that the final result doesn't match the story I made up in my head; or it could just be the inevitable result of such a long gap between books and the changes in the fantasy market post-Harry Potter. I don't know.

(I wish I had written down my thoughts about an ending--aka fanfic--because while I could write one now, it’d be reacting to canon, rather than creating it.)

Either way, major kudos to Coville for writing this book, because I had assumed the series was dead and would never be completed, and he fucking did it. That’s such an inspiration, honestly.

[elyreywrites]

singing here’s to never growing up

more batkids shenanigans - this time inspired by a comment on a YouTube video of Avril Lavigne’s “My Happy Ending”. thank you so much to the Capes & Coffee Discord for brainstorming this fic with me, and helping me figure out ages! and an especially huge thank you to Bumpkin and Oceans on that server for being my betas for this fic!!

this fic is set in 2020. the character ages & years born are: Bruce: 37 - born 1983 Dick: 25 - born 1995 Jason: 20 - born 2000 Tim: 17 - born 2003 Damian: 11 - born 2009

title is from Avril Lavigne’s “Here’s to Never Growing Up”!

please REBLOG - DO NOT REPOST

AO3 Link

Teen 1,276 words Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne & Bruce Wayne part of my batkids shenanigans series

Summary:

Dick is just trying to get in touch with his inner angsty teenage girl. He didn’t ask for an existential crisis. Tim is making him have one anyway.

- - - - -

“…and it’s not like most plot-driven things – movies, books, shows, whatever – where the side stories might be briefly referenced but you don’t have to read them to understand what’s going on. The side games are absolutely crucial to understanding the plot.”

Jason snickered as Tim ranted about the Kingdom Hearts series. Sure, all Jason said was that he had only played the second game and was thinking about playing the first to understand the plot better, but that was ridiculous!

“If you play the first game and then go straight to the second, you’ll end up completely lost,” Tim huffed. “It starts with totally different characters and very little explanation of where they came from. That’s why you play ‘Days’ and ‘Re:Chain of Memories’—”

“Shhh,” Jason hissed, covering Tim’s mouth. “Do you hear Avril Lavigne?”

Tim paused just before he bit Jason’s hand and listened. Down the hall, he could faintly hear music.

“’All this time you were pretending. So much for my happy ending.’” Okay, that was definitely Avril Lavigne. With a tilt of his head, Tim gestured for them to investigate.

Down the hall, one of the lesser used sitting rooms had its door cracked open as the music spilled from inside. Tim slowly pushed the door open more and poked his head in. From the line of heat along his back, he knew Jason was leaning over him. That, and the chin that rested on his head because Jason was an asshole that took every opportunity to remind Tim that he’s shorter.

Tim blinked. Above him, Jason turned a near-silent snicker into a cough. Laying upside-down on the couch – feet dangling over the back and hair brushing the floor – was Dick, lip-syncing the words as dramatically as possible without changing position.

“Dick? What are you doing?” Tim asked, giving up the pretense of being sneaky and just walking in. The quiet curse behind him told him that Jason hadn’t been prepared to suddenly lose his support.

Either their older brother knew they were there or he was too good to visibly startle – each as equally likely – but it meant that Dick didn’t jump or even bother looking at them. “I’m getting in touch with my inner angsty teenage girl,” he explained.

Jason sprawled on the other end of the couch, leaving Tim to sit on the coffee table. “Any particular reason, Dickiebird?”

Dick spread his hands in an approximation of a shrug. “It be like that sometimes.”

Here’s the thing: Tim had gone through a bit of a phase years ago, and during that phase he was curious about when Avril Lavigne’s songs were released – he was a weird kid, okay? He never expected that information to come in handy, but it was his job as a little brother to torment his siblings. “Hey Dick,” Tim grinned, “guess how old I was when this song came out?”

“Why?” Dick asked, already sounding suspicious.

“I was about a year old, depending on the month,” Tim told him cheerfully.

“Nooo,” Dick whined, “Tim, why? Oh my god, you were a baby! And now you’re a teenager that’s nearly an adult and I’m old!”

“I was twenty-one,” Bruce scoffed, leaning against the doorway and drawing everyone’s attention. “I’m thirty-seven now. Please Dick, tell me about being old.”

“You don’t understand, B! At least you were already an adult, and now you’re just a more adult-adult. Tim was a tiny little baby and now he’s practically all grown up! I was a kid, and now I’m an actual adult! With a job! I’m having a crisis right now!”

Tim hummed. “Then I probably shouldn’t mention that her song ‘Sk8er Boi’ is older than I am.”

Dick wailed as Jason started howling with laughter so much that he grabbed his ribs.

“Tim! Why would you say that?!”

Damian walked in right then, scowling. “What idiotic nonsense is Drake spewing now that has you in a fit, Grayson?” Before anyone could answer, his brows furrowed and he added, “And why are all of you listening to such old music?”

That set Jason off again and Tim joined in. Their combined laughter wasn’t nearly enough to drown out Dick’s small, quiet sob as he slid off the couch to be a human puddle of existential crisis on the floor. “Babies,” he whispered. “I’m surrounded by babies. All of you are children. Oh my god.”

“Hey! I’m not a fuckin’ child, I’m twenty goddamn years old!” Jason argued.

Dick shrieked, “You can’t even legally drink!”

“Did you know you’re older than Google by three years, Dick?” Tim said. Dick whimpered.

Rolling his eyes, Bruce lightly cuffed Tim on the back of the head. “Give him a break, kiddo.”

“I have yet to have an answer as to why you all are listening to this infernal racket,” Damian demanded.

Within a couple seconds, Jason went from wheezing for air to completely solemn as he looked at Damian. “Sometime, kid, you just fuckin’ need to get in touch with your inner angsty teenage girl, and Avril Lavigne is the shit for that.” His faux-serious expression shattered with a smirk as he tacked on, “Also, I’m pretty sure Jon’s got this album.”

Damian scoffed and stormed out, muttering about being surrounded by idiots – Dick must have shown him Lion King then – and Tim snickered again. On the floor, Dick was still muttering and moaning about children and babies and “I’m so old, I’m like the Crypt Keeper”.

Tim bit his lip to stop himself from telling Dick that Freaky Friday – which was already apparently a remake – came out about a month after he was born. That could be saved for the next time Dick had a crisis about his age.

- - -

Two weeks later, Tim stopped halfway through ranting at Dick for only playing the main titles of Kingdom Hearts to stare down the hall. Much like the last time he was on a tangent about the game series, he could hear Avril Lavigne playing from somewhere. Except the only rooms down that hall were their bedrooms, and Jason and Dick stood on either side of him. The three glanced at each other, and Dick immediately grinned and bounced down the hall. Jason was smirking as he followed, and Tim trailed after hoping this wouldn’t end with Damian trying to stab him again.

Dick burst in as soon as he reached Damian’s room, where the music was definitely blaring from behind the door. “Dami, you’re listening to Avril Lavigne!”

When Tim peaked in, Damian was face-planted on his bed with his face towards the foot of the bed.

“I do not wish to talk about it,” he snapped, muffled as it was.

“Aw,” Dick pouted, “do you want a hug?”

Snarling, Damian lifted his head up enough to glare at all three of them. “I would prefer for you to leave my room at once!”

“Alright Dickie,” Jason said, grabbing and hauling Dick out, “leave the brat to fuckin’ wallow in his anti-social, pre-teen angst. Sometimes you just need to angst it out alone, as you damn well know.”

“Aren’t you the literature nerd? I mean, really, Little Wing, ‘angst it out’?” Dick snarked.

Tim pulled Damian’s door closed and followed after. “Hey, language is fluid and always changing,” he added.

Gesturing at him for emphasis, Jason declared, “Fuckin’ exactly! All words were made up at some point, and English is already a fucking mess of words from different languages smashed together! And at least a shit ton of the rules have exceptions!”

Tim nodded, “Like the ‘I before E except after C’ rule.”

“Here we go again,” Dick muttered.

“You fuckin’ started it!”

[sporadic-bursts-of-energy]

The Defense of Team Cap (Semi-Formalized) June 30th, 2020

@glassferns​ I did it. Look at how much I wrote. And the tags.

It began when Fern sent me this

I am on Team Cap. Because of this, so when Fern sent me that I went straight to the teams defense, and this is that, but slightly formalized.

I have to agree that Steve was being extreme in his reaction to the Sokovia Accords, however there were valid reasons for him to be against the Accords and outside factors that made the response more extreme than it had to be.

To begin, we know that General Ross has been shown to be biased towards members of the Avengers with extreme abilities and no binding alliances (other than to the Avengers), such as Wanda Maximoff(Scarlet Witch) and Bruce Banner(The Hulk). Aside from this he is not, and has never been according to my memory, on particularly good terms with any of the Avengers.

Secondly, the government of the United States (in the MCU for the purposes of this argument) has not taken credit for things they’ve done. For example, in Marvel’s The Avengers(2012), The World Council, a panel of representatives from multiple countries around the world which oversaw S.H.I.E.L.D., made the decision to send a nuke to New York City in an attempt to stop the Chitauri from invading Earth. Not only, would this have killed at least 8 million people (there would have been others unaccounted for) but it most likely would have failed in stopping the invasion, because the Chitauri ships would have been out of range of the blast they would have been able to continue their invasion, but without the buffer made by the Avengers.

Thirdly, yes the Avengers have made mistakes. They are a human/human-like group of 8(sometimes 10) that try to deal with extreme threats to society, they will not be able to have successful mission 100% of the time. Let’s take a look at some of their mistakes and see how they could have been avoided. First off, Ultron. In Sokovia, the Avengers managed to minimize the damage as much as they could. Ultron himself was meant to be the peace-keeper the world needed, and had Tony Stark and Bruce Banner finished Ultron’s coding/upload before his conscience was activated, it’s highly unlikely that he would have actually caused so much damage. Secondly, Lagos. Wanda Maximoff saved hundreds of people. From what I could gather, there were hundreds of people in that marketplace that would have definitely died had Wanda not contained the explosion, and yes, those that were in the building and suffered from the explosion should not have had to deal with that, but comparatively, it was under 100 people vs hundreds. From the footage available, it also seems that Wanda was trying to send the explosion as high as she could away from all people, it’s just that she wasn’t able to contain it long enough to get it all the way up. Now, Wanda wouldn’t have had to deal with that explosion had Steve registered the bomb earlier. But he didn’t. And for this, I have to give partial blame to the government, specifically S.H.I.E.L.D.. Not all of the blame, but some of it. 

Specifically because, this 27(?) year old man who died to save his country from the Tesseract lost everything. His friends, family, job, everything. Except for one person. The way they reintroduced him to the world would’ve been a huge shock and most likely did nothing to help his mental state. Additionally, he had about 2 weeks between his arrival in the 21st century before he had to turn around and fight for the exact thing he had lost everything for. If that wasn’t damaging enough to his psyche in Captain America: Civil War(2016) Peggy died. She was the last thing he had from the time he should have been living in and she was gone. This messed him up emotionally. 

Similarly, Tony also would have been emotionally compromised because of his break with Pepper Potts. Having the two leaders of the team be emotionally compromised only hindered their decision making abilities which made their responses to such a rift being formed in the Avengers extreme.

Additionally, the government, specifically Colonel Phillips from Captain America: The First Avenger(2011), has made bad calls before. In the 40s, Steve was not supposed to rescue the 107th, he went against orders to do that. Their rescue was the victory that finally got Steve to go on more missions and save more people. So if he had listened to his superiors at the time, he both would have been stuck as a showperson (and potentially stuck in a lab after the war), the entire 107th would have been dead, and hydra would have stayed strong in its mission, meaning it could have done anything to the world. Another instance is in Captain America: The Winter Soldier(2014) when S.H.I.E.L.D. was going to use the tri-carriers to ‘protect’ the world. Though this was mainly Hydra, the program was still created/approved by the government and would have ruled through fear. Though this wasn’t a factor in Captain America: Civil War, S.H.I.E.L.D. did train Ava Starr(The Ghost) to be used in a manner similar to that of the Winter Soldier when he was under Hydras control. This only further cements the idea that S.H.I.E.L.D. and the government have not consistently thought about the wellbeing of many people and have given the Avengers many reasons to not trust them 100%.

Finally, the Avengers were given 3 days to read through a thick packet and make a decision that would severely affect their lives as a team. I assume this was done to intentionally pressure them into giving up a large portion of their control. Circling back to General Ross not having a very good standing with the Avengers and overall being a suspicious person. Considering he was the one to present the Sokovia Accords to the Avengers, I assume that there were some clauses that were not in the best interests of the Avengers or the people.

In conclusion, Team Cap had many reasons to go against the Sokovia Accords. There were too many unknown factors and too little time for the Avengers to make a sound decision as a team. Had they been given more time, they might have been able to negotiate a healthy supervision from the governments of the world. They made a good point of, what if we need to go somewhere they won’t let us. Despite what Natasha Romanoff said, I don’t think that them signing the Accords would allow them to still have, “one hand on the wheel” I think it would be more like the Avengers sitting in the passenger seat with a fake wheel in front of them. I do concede that the reactions of Team Cap were extreme and largely unnecessary but so were the reactions of Team Iron Man. This was all because the leaders of both teams were compromised. All of the mess and drama could have been avoided had the Avengers been given both more time to truly examine the Sokovia Accords and had more emotional and mental support during their years on active duty.

Due to all these factors and the faults of both teams, I’m Team Thor.

Original Argument made on Tuesday, June 30th, 2020 between 10:46pm(22:46) and 11:19pm(23:19) via text message conversation.

Sources:

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Marvel’s The Avengers (2012)

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)

The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Trivia Facts about movies listed above

The Memory of @sporadic-bursts-of-energy

[star-spangledstud]

THE CURE KEEPER - prologue

You’re sweet, airy and relaxed. Basically, you’re everything he isn’t. Maybe that’s why he likes you so much. The only problem is that he really doesn’t know you at all. He doesn’t even know why you’re always hanging around the tower, and he sure as hell doesn’t know you have something that can change him forever. 

Pairing: Bucky x (female!)reader. 

Chapter summary: Your meeting with Bruce goes better than expected.

word count: 1200-ish

warnings: none

A/N: No Bucky yet, sadly. I just felt like I needed to set the tone a little before he shows up :) 

Café Américain, Amsterdam, Netherlands. 12 August 2017, 9:44 a.m.

The glorious scents of roasted coffee beans, freshly baked croissants, and creamy apple pie greet Bruce Banner’s nose the second he sets foot in the cafe. He’s never been there before, but he’s seen the city its located in once or twice in his life, and it brings back memories from many, many years ago that greet him around every street corner. The soft swish of somebody flipping the Sunday newspaper, it’s cover donning letters in a language he can’t read along with several colorful pictures, and the grumbling of the espresso machine near the counter, make him feel at ease. 

He’s comfortable, perhaps too comfortable given the circumstances, but he likes the quaintness of the place, the vintage records and black and white photos on the wall and the central piece, a moon-shaped mint green bar with glasses on the top and hanging from ceiling racks in various shapes and sizes. It makes him feel normal, like for a moment, his alter ego doesn’t exist. He knows that’s why you chose this place, to ease the constant turmoil in his head, and unbeknownst to you, you’ve done a good job. 

It’s more crowded than he expected for a Sunday morning, but the sun is out and there’s only a soft breeze, so it shouldn’t surprise him to see this many people out this early in the morning. A family, three young kids including one toddler and their parents, is seated not too far from him, and he’s worried their seating arrangement might interfere with what he’s there to talk about. He chooses not to dwell on the possibility of a toddler overhearing sensitive information in a language she can’t possibly understand at her age. 

Still, he can’t completely shake the nerves that settled in the pit of his stomach, because he hasn’t seen you since he was in Phuket, and that was years ago. He can’t help but rub his hands together in anticipation when he searches the cafe’s walls for records he recognizes. He takes a seat near the back and orders two coffees; one for the both of you, and hopes you show up on time. The drinks, supported in pastel mugs, are piping hot when the waitress brings them to his table, and he contemplates waiting for you before taking his first sip. 

It’s half-empty by the time you arrive. 

Your eyes immediately find him in the back of the cafe when you enter two minutes before ten. Your eyes quickly scan your surroundings, and relief washes over you when it looks just the way it looks every Sunday and feels the same as well. The barista, whose name you came to learn after your fifth visit, greets you with a wave and a small smile before she returns to the customer in front of her. You return the gesture.

You’re not surprised to see two still semi-hot cups of coffee when you take a seat. There’s almond milk in yours, just how you like it, and the steaming beverage warms your insides when you take your first sip. You’re wearing a plain black baseball cap on your head as a precaution, just like you do every week, but Bruce recognized you the second you opened the cafe door. If he were in the mood to laugh at your version of a disguise, he would, but the seriousness of the situation prohibited him from expressing happy emotions at any capacity.

Hair in a color he’s never seen before spills from underneath the cap, and he supposes that’s another part of your disguise. Then again, you were only a teenager when you last saw him, and you’d since grown into a beautiful young woman.

“Morning, Angel,” he hums before taking a sip. 

“I need your help,” you say, ignoring the code name he used to address you. 

He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, hyper-aware of the I HEART AMSTERDAM t-shirt you’re wearing. You’re trying too hard to blend in as a tourist, he thinks, but then again, he himself is by no means a master of disguises. He leaves that up to the professionals while he works behind the scenes. 

“Witnesses, really? You know me better than that.” He sounds offended, you pay it no mind. 

“Pawns, I’d call them,” you mutter, “they help me blend in. I was going to pick central station, but I wasn’t sure where you’re at with your... friend.” 

Bruce can’t say he’s thrilled by the way you’re leaning in further to talk to him. His body does the same, hovering over the small round table in an effort to hear you better.

“It varies,” he admits, “I’ll take what I can get.” 

You sip your coffee and nod, eyes scanning his features. He still looks pretty much the same, but the fine lines that settled around his eyes and on his forehead weren’t there the last time you saw him. 

“I messed up and I need your help,” you spill, “need to get out of here.” 

“What happened?” He asks.

“I took something,” you bite your lip, “something I wasn’t supposed to take. I mean, it was just out in the open. They practically gave it to me.” 

“What are you talking about?” He hisses, “Took what? From who?” 

You lean back and take a sip of coffee, savoring the bittersweet taste on your tongue, “I can’t tell you, obviously. Information’s classified, bla bla bla. Come on, you know the drill.”

“Angel,” he pauses to take a breath, “how bad is it?” 

“Green,” she chuckles dryly, “it’s very, very bad. Anyway, let’s just enjoy our coffee for now, alright? Did you order breakfast? I’m kind of feeling some waffles, or maybe some fried eggs.”

“I really think you should tell me what’s going on,” he says, “I can’t help you if you don’t.”

You sigh. You knew this was going to be a problem the moment you decided to ask for his help. The constant questioning, curiosity. Of course, he isn’t just going to let things go without at least trying to pry some answers from you. Nothing slips past Bruce. 

“Angel,” he pleads when you flag down the waitress, “please. I came all the way down here, the least you could do is tell me why.”

“Green,” you warn him, “I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t need your help. No offense, but you’re kind of my last resort.”

“None taken,” he grimaces, “you’re lucky I promised her.”

You inhale sharply, taken aback by his statement for a small moment. Then, you turn to the young woman who stands beside your table. Without looking at the menu, you list off your order. With the tilt of your head, you urge him to do the same, and with a grunt, Bruce asks for a grilled cheese sandwich and another coffee. You decide on orange juice instead, eager to wash the bitter taste of your previous beverage out of your mouth. 

Instead of continuing the conversation, you dig a book out of the messenger bag you slumped over your seat. Bruce rolls his eyes when you slam the worn copy of Lolita onto the table, but you ignore him when you open the tattered pages and begin to read. Perhaps you haven’t changed as much as he initially thought, he muses.

“Eat up,” he says as soon as the food arrives, “we’re leaving in ten minutes.”

You smile and nod, eager to dig into your plate of fruity waffles. You manage to put the book down long enough to eat. That has changed, he thinks. 

You aren’t really surprised to see how easy it is to convince him to help you. He’ll always have a soft spot for you even if he refuses to admit it. 

“Don’t think you’re off the hook, either. You still owe me an explanation.”

Maybe he has changed, after all, you think. He’s more confident than he was when you last saw him, has a new way of carrying himself like he’s done with taking shit from people that offer him nothing in return. Good for him. You suppose it’s about time. 

“I never said I won’t tell you,” you smirk, “just that now’s not the right time for me to be spilling all my secrets.” 

He hums as he bites into the buttery smooth grilled cheese sandwich, savoring the flavor of fresh tomatoes and perfectly aged mozzarella.

“What am I supposed to tell Tony?” 

“Green,” his code name spills from your lips, “I am your niece, remember?” 

[phantomchick]

Tony Stark Fic Recs

Burning Candles - by kerravon Hurt/comfort, exhaustion, concussions, hurt tony, steve is a bro, nick fury being morally shady, the avengers! Summary: A few months have passed since the Avengers fought the Chitauri, and the team is coming together, except for Tony, who seems to be coming apart. At first, Steve assumes that he's just being irresponsible and annoying, but then JARVIS clues him in.

Fifth Time Lucky - by Arkada oneshot, fluff, this fic is short, sweet and a lot of fun. Well worth the read. Summary:  Tony Stark has five soulmates, but he gave up on finding any of them a long time ago.

Hide A Heart Of War - by RayShippouUchiha Tony Centric 2 chapter fic. Flower soul mark au. EXCELLENT ANGST.  Lots of feels, there’s also a slow burn romance in the background. Rhodey is a good bro. Loving all the descriptions of the soulmarks. Summary:  “You’ve got war in your heart boy,” Howard sneers, “don’t ever try and pretend to be anything but what you are.” Tony feels the familiar burn of a flower mark being etched into his skin but he doesn’t look, doesn’t try and check to see what it is. Instead he keeps his eyes on Howard and his hands cupped around his bleeding mouth and nose.

The (Not So) Great Pretender - by RayShippouUchiha Complete, secret identities, tony/bucky which i don’t usually ship but hey this author really makes it worth it. Oblivious Avengers. Hilarious but also angsty? Summary: Basically no one believes Tony when he tells them he’s Iron Man so he’s just... reluctantly keeping his secret identity going? It’s super funny.

To Victor Goes the Spoils - by tisfan Tony Stark/Victor von Doom, 10 chapters, complete, secret identities. Summary: In which Doom finds himself at a super hero masked ball... and gaining the attentions of the handsome and charming Tony Stark...Just one dance... just one kiss... before Doom unleashes his evil plot. Backstory: I accidentally stumbled on this doom x iron man fic so i thought i’d read it for laughs but then the fic itself was really good and I was suckered into shipping it. Now I’m in rarepair hell. The end. 

Iron Man Yes, Tony Stark...Not Recommended - by lilsmartass Gen. Complete. 9 chapters. Angst, lots of angst. Hurt/comfort. Unintentional bullying. Rhodey is the captain of the tony stark defence squad. AND HE WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE. Summary: Clint and Steve have both seen Natasha’s report on Tony and expect him to be a certain way. With Pepper now out of the picture, Bruce in India and Thor is Asgard they have no one to show them just how wrong first impressions can be.

That Which Kills Us - by Ironlawyer Ultimates!verse, steve/tony, oneshot, internalised homophobia, Tony is not a good patient. Summary: Sometimes Tony hates being alive as much as he hates dying. Trying to juggle duties to The Ultimates and a terminal illness isn’t exactly easy. Throw in an irate Steve Rogers and things just get too damn complicated.

Doomed To Failure - by DobbyRocksSocks Oneshot, excellent content, i read this fic and then i had to sit in my chair and be like ‘whoa’ for a while. This au is very well done! Summary: Everyone is born with their soulmate on one wrist, and their mortal enemy on the other. What do you do when it's the same person?

Say Goodbye to Yesterday - by melonbutterfly 4 chapter fic, complete, time loop, team building, alien invasion. time travel is a trope i keel over for this you must learn. Summary:  The day after the invasion Tony wakes up and his tower is intact again; everything is exactly the way it was before this whole mess went down. 

Don't Bet Against the House - by AlexTheShipper 2 chapter fic, complete, protective Jarvis, team dynamics, fluff Summary:  In which jokes about the arc reactor are not taken lightly, not by JARVIS who will never again sit trapped in his servers as someone attempts to kill Sir.

From A to Z - by Rachel500 26 chapter fic.Complete. Very very good, *sips fruit juice out of my champaigne glass* a classic of the genre! I’m a sucker for time travel as a trope, pair that with fixing the disaster that was the mcu chronology? BUDDY I’M SOLD.\ Summary: “OK, hypothetically, you get sent back in time one year. Does that make a difference?” Strange asked. “Two? Three? Could you live through the worst experience of your life again to preserve enough of the timeline to continue? Could you stand aside and let someone you love live through a bad experience in their life?” “OK. I get it. Bad idea.” Tony smirked at Strange to cover for his unease. “So. Plan B?” Strange grinned but there was a serious glint in his eyes. “How about we make it plan Z?”

Acceptable Risk Is Not - by izumi2 Super bamf tony, oneshot, Maria Hill redemption arc. Captain america the winter soldier. Not steve friendly but this can be blamed on the plot of the movie making zero sense with hindsight. Summary: what if someone considered an alternate solution to the data drop?  THIS IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE FICS FOR REASONS SO PLEASE TRY IT.

The Course of Reason - by Infie Oneshot, aftermath of captain america civil war, Carol Danvers is a relateable ho whom I stan, the saltiest of all possible responses to that film. YESSSS. This is it. The fic that finally knocked me over the edge onto the civil war team iron man side of the fence. BEHOLD. It’s greatness. Summary: The UN has asked Tony to discuss their options with the Fugitive Avengers. It does not go the way they expect it to.

Uncompromising Principles - by Kizmet 19 chapter fic, it’s completed and it’s very well done, legal drama, Tony/Pepper, Steve is... a good person who made mistakes, he’s trying anyway, i can’t say more without spoilers, but it’s A Ride, like you’ll read this and it’ll make you have Feelings and Thoughts and it’s very clever in how it goes about making those Feelings and Thoughts happen. Captain America: civil war aftermath fic. Summary: After leaving Siberia Captain America begins his plans to overturn the Accords. But not all is as it seems.Not compliant with the end of "Civil War".

To intervene - by apathyinreverie Currently at 15 chapters, ongoing, a lot of fun, tony stark has a heart, tony and rhodey, civil war team iron man, mutant kind, pro accords. Summary: The one where Rhodey stages an intervention after the whole Ultron fiasco.

Veni, Vidi, Amavi - by Maedlin Treat yo’self. It’s a Time travel fic. ONE OF THE BEST: Bamf Tony Stark, Bamf Jarvis, Palladium Poisoning, Complete, 26 chapter fic, but you’ll wish it was longer by the time you’re done. (Luckily there’s an ongoing sequel series to enjoy!) THIS FIC IS SUPREMELY GOOD! And HEAVY on the Jarvis love! DO YOURSELVES A FAVOUR AND TRY IT SERIOUSLY YOU WON’T REGRET READING THIS. Highest of recs goes to this. Summary:  (We came, we saw, we loved.) Tony's not the hero type. To suggest otherwise would be outlandish and fantastic, clearly.  Yet somehow, he's the one that's responsible for saving the universe. Now, he's a decade in the past. He's just revealed to the world he's Iron Man.  Tony finds himself facing dozens of old problems, and as time passes the ripple effect of his presence generates ever more new issues. All the while, the impending threat of Thanos looms ever-closer.

With One More Try (Can We Start Again) - by Infinite_Monkeys 5 Chapter fic, and it’s Completed. Time travel fix it, not strictly tony stark-centric but still a firm fave, A masterpiece. Definitely in my top 5 time travel fics and i’ve read a LOT so that’s saying something! Contains: That Good Loki Content. Summary: Loki's attempt to conquer Earth has, to his great dismay, succeeded spectacularly. When Thanos sends him to collect the Time Stone, he strikes a deal with the Stone's keeper: He'll be sent back to the beginning of the invasion, and this time, armed with knowledge about his opponents, he can lose properly. Or: a time loop fic in which Loki does increasingly desperate things to try and get the Avengers to defeat him already.

(Science) Bros before (HYDRA) Hoes - by Kizmet Tony is the captain of the Bruce Banner defence squad, Legal Shenanigans, It’s marked as Ongoing but what’s there is satisfying enough on its own I promise, basically a huge callout for Johannesburg, Hulk deserves a hug. Summary: The Hulk isn’t taken from the planet after AoU, there’s no one conveniently out of reach to take the fall for Johannesburg… A choice is going to have to be made: Wanda or the Hulk. 

A Larger Matter - by TheSovereigntyofReality Oneshot. Consequences! The ‘Steve’s blood’ scene in the agent carter tv show always pissed me off so this fic was uh Cathartic shall we say, but honestly you can read it and have it make perfect sense even without having seen the show, Howard Stark, teenaged Tony, Team Stark. Woohoo. Summary: When Peggy Carter tipped out Steve's blood, she had no idea the hornet's nest she just kicked.

Who in their Right Mind... - by AnonEhouse Crackfic, Oneshot Summary: Dum-E saves the universe

Catching Butterflies - by GremlinSR Ongoing, 6 chapters and counting, very very good content, like you wouldn’t think so from the summary which is a little bland but it’s actually very very good. Believe me when I tell you: It contains The Good Stuff. Time Travel fix it, Bamf Tony Stark, Bamf yet confused T’Challa. Summary: Tony snaps his fingers...and wakes up five days before the events that led to the death of JARVIS and the creation of Ultron. He decides he won't let the future he lived come to pass, no matter how thoroughly he has to destroy the timeline.

The War is Far From Over Now - by Dont_call_me_Carrie Ongoing, 40 dhapters and counting, this fic is clearly the author’s baby and they put so much work into it so watching it grow is a pleasure. Protective Jarvis, Protective Stark Industries Employees who like their boss. Rhodey is a good Bro, Awesome Pepper Potts. Fix it via Accidental World Domination. Summary: In which Tony does not, in fact, intend to take over the world.... unfortunately, everyone else missed that particular memo.

Can I Quote You On This? - by Wix Oneshot, Mcu critical, Avengers Critical, salty, extremely salty. Uncovering Plot Holes is easy when the road’s full of them. Summary:  Christine was sent in to just do a puff piece about the Avengers. What she uncovers instead is so much more interesting.

Strong Enough to Bend - by Kizmet Oneshot, salt and shade, tony stark & steve rogers, the author has Opinions about mcu steve so if that’s not your thing i wouldn’t rec it, not steve friendly? Summary: Steve ‘watches’ the videos on Tony Stark that Shield provides him with

Take that Away and What are You? - by Kizmet Oneshot, kidnapping, bamf tony stark, not steve friendly, I love this fic Summary: Tony and Steve get kidnapped. Since Tony’s wearing a tux, Steve figures it’s all up to him to get them out of this mess. Steve never really thought much about the conditions under which Tony built the Mach I.

Facing the devil (and the deep, blue sea) - by petroltogo Oneshot, au, not steve friendly, steve isn’t a good person in this fic, but it’s juicy, soulmate au, soulmarks Summary:  Alternate title: No obvious truth  Post-CACW: In an alternate universe where everyone has the name of their soulmate and the name of their greatest enemy written on their wrists, recently captured ex-Avenger Steve Rogers receives an unexpected visitor two days before the start of his trial. [The trick is figuring out which name is tied to which fate.] [The trick is realising you’ll never know.]

Asking Why - by Kizmet Oneshot. the relief and catharsis of logic. Nat, Hill, Cho, Rhodey and Pepper sit Tony down to talk about what led to the creation of Ultron. Scapegoating is stupid: The Fanfic edition. Summary: Applying analytical techniques in the aftermath of Ultron

[straightouttaneptune]

Chosen 02

Pairing: Avengers x reader, Natasha Romanoff x reader

Warning: MIND B L O W I N G SCIENCE jk idk if it makes sense lmao. Fluff, fluff, fluff, sassy Dr Strange, implied smut but no smut.

Summary: The reader is a senior in a local high school, watching Avengers: Endgame in cinemas when something absolutely mind-blowing happens.

A/N: I present to you, Chosen pt. 2!! Take that, writer’s block!!! I’m obsessed with Nat, so obvi this one’s Nat x reader as well😂

Special s/o: @ihaeresortedtonothingness @blackreaders-assemble @katykat71114 @hpspngot @pyrowolfgirl1408

Part one

———————————————————————

The next few weeks were mind blowing. The people you thought were fictional for all those years, they all surrounded you now, and you’d slip a few happy tears when everyone else weren’t looking.

Is this what it feels like to finally belong? Steve placing a warm blanket on you during movie nights, Wanda making tomato soups just for you after a tiring day of genetic tests, late nights with Tony down in his lab as he teaches you all you need to know about mechanics, playful banters with Sam and Bucky, talking to pigeons with Clint, and so many ordinary things that you would give your kidney to keep.

"Okay, place your fingers on the trigger, both hands, eyes on the target," Natasha brushed up against your shoulders as she coached you through gun training, all part of Bruce's plan to figure out what kind of spectacular powers you possessed to be chosen by the universe. "And shoot." 

"This isn't just a coincidence?" You furrowed your brows at Bruce, still not seeing what was so surprising that they had to actually create a rip in the multi-verse and reality to bring you here. 

"It's not. We looked through every possible explanation, and we only found that you were meant to happen." Bruce looked over at Tony as if to ask for support, explaining everything as best as he could. 

"We found a prophecy, kid. Well, technically, Chancellor Neighsay found it- but, it means that you were meant to be found, and you were meant to be brought back." 

“Chancellor Neighsay? Did I miss something?”

“He means Stephen Strange. He looks like Chancellor Neighsay from my little pony.”

“Ah. There was a meme about that.”

Bang! The gun forced your hand back with force, making you stumble back a few steps. The loud echo rippled through your eardrums even through the protective ear muffs. The bullet hit right on target, though. You were able to tell from Natasha's proud grin. 

“Maybe your talent is with guns. And fighting, and tech, and science, and, well, everything.”

Natasha stared at you, just as curious as you were of yourself. You’d never learned how to shoot guns, or to fight, or anything about tech. But it all came so naturally. Maybe you did really belong here.

“I don’t know why I can do these things.” You sighed short-breathed, fueled by adrenaline and the excitement.

“Whatever it is, I can tell that you belong here.” Natasha’s smile was contagious, leaving the two of you to stare at each other with a huge grin on both of your faces.

The trance is only broken when Bruce, Stephen, Tony and Steve all runs into the room exhilarated and out of breath.

“Y/N! Y/N, we- we found out why you’re here.” Bruce hunched down to take a breath, while Nat sprinted toward Tony to look at the documents he was holding.

“Oh- okay. Why?” Your eyes twinkled, finally about to find out what made you, a seemingly ordinary girl to be so important. Weirdly, it felt like a scene from a movie. Perfectly rehearsed. But this was reality for you now.

“You passed every test with flying colors because you have the power to do anything. Absolutely anything. You- are the product of the power stone.” Stephen announced as if it was the most dramatic and astonishing thing in the world, but all the reaction it brought from you was a furrow of brows.

“What?”

Stephen sighed discontentedly, expecting you to understand like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“Don’t go all Sherlock on me, Bohemian Cucumber.” You replied slyly to his annoyed reaction, knowing very well that Stephen won’t understand a thing.

“Wha- okay. Anyways, with the Big Bang, came the infinity stones. The first keeper of the power stone, she wanted to harvest and protect its powers so she hid it in the void of the multi-verse. Waiting for the right living thing who would be chosen by the stone to possess its power.” Avengers started to gather in the room, Friday must have called for them.

“It chose you, Y/N. The day you were born. The power was too strong, and it killed your mother, father, and everything inside the hospital. That’s why you were found alone. Why you grew up in an orphanage.” Bruce explained, corners of his eyes dropping as he touched a sensitive subject for you as gently as possible.

“That doesn’t explain why I’ve been normal ever since though... I remember getting sucky grades for P.E.” You reminisce to the terrible elementary school years, cringing at the memories.

“Simple. It’s the nature of your original universe. It blocks your powers. When you got the powers is another story. Your original world contained it as best as it could. If uncontained, it could’ve caused a massive supernova on Earth.” As if reading your mind, Tony answered the lingering question in your mind. It all actually made sense. It was still very surreal, of course... but it made sense.

“And now you’re needed here.” Natasha’s hand enveloped around yours, the warmth radiating off of her palms.

“Now I’m needed here.” Your voice was lighter, feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. You no longer felt trapped in your own life. Looking deep into Natasha’s eyes, you felt a sense of belonging.

Time skip to 2 years later

“Y/N!!! Sam stole my bedsheets again!” Bucky’s high-pitched yell sounded through the new and remodeled Avengers facility.

“Why would he steal your bedsheets??” You screamed back, placing the teacup onto its saucer.

“Because it’s a pain in the ass to put em back on the mattress!” Sam laughed maniacally, rushing past the living room with a flowing cape that was Bucky’s bedsheets dragging on the floor behind him.

“Let them do their thing, baby. Let’s go to our room.” Natasha placed her empty cup on the coffee table, grabbing your wrist and looking at you with mischievous eyes.

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” You giggled as she led you down the hall into the elevator, pushing you into the compartment as soon as the doors opened.

In the next few hours, Tony would regret (again) that he didn’t make the walls sound-proof.

Life truly is a surprise.

[withinevening]

The Dynamics of Friendship + Romance or Why Clint and Natasha are freakin’ important.

Personally speaking, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff share not only one of the most important relationships in the MCU but in media in general. Why? There are TONS of characters with dramatic, close, friendships.  Friendship? SHIP! FRIENDSHIP! SHIP! Well hellllooo fandom.

That’s what’s so quirky about these two. While I’ve never been truly active in any ‘ship war’, even in its ‘glory days’ I never really saw a ship /war/ when it came to these characters. I’d like to say that when The Avengers first came out Clint/Natasha had its fair share of supporters, of which I was one, but you had your side ships, and that list grew. (Clint/Coulson and Nat/Bruce were the two I saw most frequently as alternatives.) The real debate to this day is so ‘are they friends or lovers’ line of thinking. The shipper’s position is quite obvious. Those on the friends’ side lean more towards the argument that we’re in dire need of more buddies, less beddies. (Okay, I tried people.)

Now, yes, I ship the heck out of them. But you won’t hear me arguing about that point. We DO need less sexualized relationships. It’s valid and I can see their dynamic being read that way. You won’t hear me arguing about this. But here’s where it gets tricky for me and where this post gets a little personal in order to explain. There will also be endgame spoilers and unpopular headcanons.

As someone who identifies as asexual panromantic, I have a firm sense of love not being connected to sex. They can exist together or separately. Sex and intimacy are also different. You might ask then, well, what makes the difference between a strong friendship and a romance. To me? Well, not a lot. The strongest of friendships have a level of dedication and fondness, even physical closeness. But to be ‘in love’ is something different. Yeah, you’d do a heck of a lot for your best friend. You might give then a kidney or a huge loan. A select few of us might even put yourself in harm’s way. But have you ever felt devastated at the idea that they might want to spend their lives with someone else? Have you ever craved that friend’s attention on a greater level than: I’d really like to tell or experience this with them? See a bit of a difference?

Which is why you can make ‘that scene’ in Endgame work. The problem is ‘that which you love’ beyond all else. These two can fill that spot for each other interchangeably. These two have been through hell as individuals and as a team. They are the sole keepers of every secret. They have a bond that extends beyond friendship. They are quite literally willing to die for one another when it comes down to facing the loss as THE VERY factor, not an external enemy. They’ve both encouraged one another to do things that are best for them even if it’s uncomfortable. That level of commitment, intimacy, and desire is nothing BUT romantic.

This doesn’t mean you have to ignore canon, or can’t enjoy these two as friends. As before, romance does not equate sex. But there is no question that Natasha is a part of Clint’s family in canon. Yes we know how close her and Clint are, but Laura has also seen to be quite perceptive of Natasha. They even named a child after her. She seemed right at home in their home.  We love our family. And no, of course, we don’t love our family romantically. But a form of love IS there if you prescribe to them being friends. ‘Cause lets face it. A secret agent’s life is not typical. As such your dynamics with others are not going to be standard. As far as Bruce goes, Natasha is starting to trust herself. She’s starting to open up. Clint has his family, but here is someone who’s broken in a similar way as she is. She sees this as an opportunity to try to connect with someone. She wants to reach out, but she hasn’t met many people who could even BEGIN to understand her special kind of special. So sure she’s going to be curious. But it’s still a gamble. It has the potential to be something instead of just a fun little distraction. That’s scary and they’re both cautious. But he might be able to get her and maybe it could work. Doesn’t mean she loses the other connections she has, but you never saw her falling madly in love/lust either. Canon Bruce/Nat was more about potential.

So yes, friend-shippers are perfectly valid. But you know what? Shippers are too—without having to ignore canon. It’s important to remember that these two have their own trauma. Natasha has always seemed a bit self-sacrificing. She wants to make up for her past and has had a LOT of trouble opening up. Her walls are always up. Clint’s been pretty through the wringer himself. I see them at a crossroad. They realize how important they are to one another, but Natasha realizes that the best thing for Clint is for him to have a piece of ‘normal’ that she never can/never feels worthy of. So enter his family. I feel like there’s an understanding. Clint’s family will always come first. But he isn’t who he is without Natasha. She is a part of him and vice versa. Headcanon, Laura isn’t stupid. She knows this, sees this, and pretty much has the attitude of: You come home, you stay honest to me and don’t lie about things that aren’t classified, and we’re okay. Because this life I’ve signed up for isn’t normal. I respect the person this other person helps you to be and they respect the boundaries I set. And when she visits she gets laundry duty.

So where does this leave us beyond being a “let’s all get along!” post. At the core this is one of the strongest representations of a debate in which each viewpoint isn’t mutually exclusive. They are completely compliant with one another. As someone who usually prefers her ships not be canon as so few people can write romance reliably over an extended period of time, this is so rare. Because these writers have manage to depict a truly deep relationship in BOTH ways without HAVING to declare flat out one way or another or to define a connection by sex. Natasha and Clint are textual proof in media of a relationship that doesn’t neatly fit into a box. It’s a sign of character complexity.

And that’s what our media needs. We cry about ‘diversity’ when we mean race, gender, or sexuality. We’re slowly getting those things. But instead of having token representation and stereotypes, can we start considering the extent of which we depict variety and individualism? Yes there are other characters that emphasize this point better than these two. But as time went on, this is the reason I realized they will always be embedded in my fannish heart.

[dr-dendritic-trees]

Here be the Endgame thoughts, they are filled with spoilers. 

So, I had SUPER low expectations for Endgame. I have been finding the big teamup movies increasingly cumbersome, I still can’t summon the energy to sit through Infinity War.

But on the whole I thought it was a very good movie. I enjoyed it more than I didn’t.

Whether you like Endgame or not, in my opinion, comes down to whether you personally found it emotionally satisfying. If you did, great, if you didn’t, I’m not here to try and talk you around, I’m sorry to hear the movie didn’t do it for you, and I hope you find some really good fanfic to make up for it.

And in the end, that’s what it came down to. It worked for me. It happened to have in it, the things I personally needed it to have. It met my expectations.

I didn’t want to get bogged down in post-apocalyptic details of the Snap, and I wasn’t, and I wanted to not have the universe reset by unwinding time, because that trope almost never works for me, and they didn’t.

I did get emotionally resonant call backs, cool fights and interesting character interactions. And quite frankly, my home fandom is Halo and I received the gifts of the team in matching armour, and glorious heroic deaths. 

But the biggest reason why I felt leary of Endgame going in, was that I didn’t feel ready for an ending. I didn’t have an ending I wanted, because I wanted about a dozen per character. I still do, and I knew I wasn’t going to get that. But I really felt like the movie honour that. That’s what the time-travel mechanic is based on. You can’t change you past, but we can have an infinite number of avengers, making trouble in infinite New Yorks.

That’s basically it. Keep reading for character by character breakdown (starting with the bad bits, moving onto the good bits).

Unfortunately the fact that most of the movie was good, made the bad bits bad:

1. The much played up “gay character”. What crap. Seriously. That was nothing. There’s a lot of things about endgame that I think need to be viewed Doylistly, especially the character endings which are, of course, based on actor contracts. But this isn’t it “its a superhero movie, what do you expect” explains the lackadasical time travel, it does not excuse making a huge fuss over such a piddling little gesture.

2. Clint: What a fucking disaster. I hated every single thing about it. Part of the suspension of disbelief of a superhero movie, along with superpowers is that our heroes are going to beat up rooms full of people, and that’s going to be good, and we’re going to cheer. So I didn’t have time, in the tiny little clip we got, to feel anything at all about Hawkeye slicing through rooms of ‘baddies’. So the whole, fall-and-redemption arc fell totally flat, and added to that, I got to sit through the image of a white man slicing through rooms of people of colour, and it was gross, and I didn’t like it. I get that Clint has been criminally underdeveloped by these films. But it was too late to fix it in Endgame, they should have just admitted it.

Also, it cost us the alternate take on Clint and Natasha’s final scene that my friend suggested “I have to save you you have a family” vs “No, I’ve had a family, I’ve had all that time, you’ve only just found yours, so I have to send you back to them”. 

3. Thor: Not only was everything they did with Thor a small-minded mean-spirited joke, it was one they kept dragging on and on and on. I hated it. That being said, two points. Firstly, in a weird way, I feel slightly better about Frigga’s death now, giving her agency over it makes it marginally less fridgy. And also, the final Thor look, with the braided beard! Superb! Amazing! Wonderful!

4. Wanda: for the first time ever I had a feeling about Wanda. I was surprised.

5. Bruce: I have no real feelings one way or another, about the professor hulk thing. It sets up the end of the movie well, I think on balance they’re more interesting as characters when they’re split up. But maybe it’ll grow on me.

6. Nebula: I still haven’t seen GOTG2, but I love Nebula now! I love her and Rhodey together, I want them to get a movie.

7. This isn’t a character, but the overall rhythm of the finale, where the avengers finally avenge the world and then  the dead they avenge come help them fight. It could not be better, it was wonderful. Also the final scene with all the ladies brought me joy beyond telling. I’ve subsequently seen some critiques that it was “just pandering, not real feminism” but I just don’t care guys. Its an action sequence in a big final act showdown, all it needed to be was pandering. I love to be pandered to, quite frankly.

8. I still haven’t seen Captain Marvel, but she’s extremely shiny and exciting and I am in love with her.

10. Steve: Steve fighting himself (complete with Winter Soldier callbacks) was amazing fanservice, but also surprisingly moving, as a commentary on Steve as a character. Steve with the hammer was everything. As to the ending, I liked this more the day after the movie than when I first saw it. Overall I thought it was really good. I know a lot of people longed for Steve to get a retirement, but honestly, I would never have found that believable. Steve, will always fight. And even though Steve’s been circling around the idea of ‘moving on’ since Avengers, he never did. So I felt this completed things. I like the implication of openeness. Steve is the moral core of the story, so Steve, as the keeper of the infinity stones works for me. I’m sure he and Peggy kicked Hydra ass across all sorts of parallel timelines and it was great. One quibble: I would have put that dance in Peggy’s office, I think it would have called back to Peggy’s arc in Agent Carter better.

11. SAM GOT THE SHIELD SAM GOT THE SHIELD SAM GOT THE SHIELD.

12. Bucky: I mean, I ship it too and all, but where Steve has been failing to move on forever, Bucky hasn’t. He’s got a whole life, and ultimately, the life he has in the films, rather than our hearts, hasn’t had a lot of Steve in it. I’m fine with letting the man go back to his goats in Wakanda. I trust that he and Steve have made their peace. And quite frankly I now ship Sam and Bucky like never before.

11. Natasha: I loved it. I loved her arc. Did you guys notice that she and Steve switched places in the movie. Steve pulled of a heist and an undercover mission, and ran off to find a life. Natasha became the leader of the avengers and sacrificed herself for her family. It was perfect. My only complaint is that I wanted more of what we got. If the cut out all the bits I didn’t like, we would have had time for a much longer ending for her, and also for Steve to see 2012!Natasha. I just rewatched Avengers and they hit it off so fast and I wanted that.

12. Tony: It was perfect. It hurt and everything about it was amazing. In some ways I feel like there isn’t much more to say, other than that I am choosing to believe that Tony’s extreme Dad skills have created an alternate timeline where Howard is a much better Dad. Also, while much gets made of Tony and Steve’s original disagreement (you’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play), I feel like that was basically resolved in Avengers itself. For several movies now Tony and Steve’s disagreement has been about trading freedom for safety, about the suit of armour around the world. And Tony cut the wire guys. He kept the world safe, and no one had to sacrifice but him, and he died surrounded by three people who were protecting the world in armour he made. And I bawled my eyes out and look forward to doing it again.

[mythlokisuggestion-blog]

What do you think of Tom Hiddleston and mcu!Loki?

I’m technically not allowed to watch any marvel movies according to one main-clause (followed by a very vulgar relative clause) in Idris Elba’s restraining order against me so obviously I watched them and while I obviously missed some of the major plot-details because Idris Elba wouldn’t let my eyes go I will say this:

Tom Hiddleston is clearly a great actor with a really great range and the entire journey of him losing his eyebrow-pencil but finding that Jeff Goldblum loves him nevertheless is very dramatic and gripping, but even for someone whose spectrum does indeed cover the range his does, it’s still visibly difficult for him to keep up with the inconsistencies of the movies and this is something that really affects the character of Loki strongly. Personally, I’d go so far as to say that there are only two movies out of the five that give Loki actually inherent development (as in: force them to make a decision of their own instead of just being thrown at the plot like a forgotten towel into the wind) and those are Thor I and Thor: Ragnarok. Obviously, I can see you argue that Thor: Dark World is about Loki re-joining forces with Thor to avenge their mother, but that’s just man-pain. Loki never makes their own decision to work with Thor but there is no doubt that even at their deepest, darkest moments they would have gone after the murderer of their mother. That’s not development. It’s just putting the character in a position where there’s only one obvious solution anyway. Character development puts a character in a position where we don’t know how they’d act and we either see them make a decision and learn it was the wrong one or we see previous character development come to fruition with them choosing something one wouldn’t have initially expected like I did when I first heard about Dirty Chai which immediately meant I wanted to drink Dirty Chai except I noticed I don’t like it so now when people offer to offer me “A Beverage Mixed Out Of Two Beverages That Clearly Shouldn’t Be Mixed?” I say no which is not what I would have said three hours ago. That’s growth. Asking me if I’d murder a giant who wants to eat children on the other hand. I would always have given the same answer at any point in my life.

The other protest you’ll make is Infinity War. But that has no development either, it’s just a solution to the development we’ve seen in Ragnarok and I almost feel like the script was written before Waititi had written his or maybe they hadn’t bothered to read it or maybe they simply didn’t care or they weren’t sure their audience would have seen that and just wanted to make sure that we’re all caught up and I found it really cringy for some reason? I dunno, I feel it could have been handled more delicately than just ticking off every aspect of Loki’s struggle that a series of inconsistent movies had thrown at them. Especially, and I know it’s an unpopular opinion, the whole: “We have a Hulk line.” Like. That’s the last relationship I cared about.

Things that would have interested me:

Loki and Thor talking about Jötunheim

Valkyrie and Loki fixing things up after their intrusion of her mind in Ragnarök

Bruce and Loki talking about the invasion of Earth and maybe resolving what had happened between them and Thanos to make them do that.

Loki reconciling their love for fruit-y cocktails with the overreliance on artificial sweetener on the Grandmaster’s ship

Maybe it’s especially the ‘of Jötunheim’ line that bothered me. Obviously, me being of Jötunheim the first Thor movie wasn’t a mere warning about the consequences of climate change (you thought Day After Tomorrow scared you lol?) but as you know there’s a not-so-ancient law of your people to abandon the children you do not wish to keep. (usually children with disabilities) and this actually ancient Loki has an actual ancient law that says Finder’s Keepers and Finder’s Raisers and Finder’s Cherishers of Babies Forever so obviously the whole storyline about Loki being abandoned by their parents did resonate with me deeply and that’s why it bothered me that it was the most poorly handed in the five movies. It’s not that I mind that I see the subject addressed although I wished they had gone out of their way to show that this was an actual practice of the ancient Norse cultures (and many others) instead of just making it a plot-point because I feel like it would have given their movie more relevance, considering that there were actual terms and practices surrounding it. Also, with Odin being a very unreliable narrator, it would have given the viewers a better context for what is true and what isn’t because many aspects of the adoption remain really obscure. It’s never really dealt with. I mean, the first movie explicitly makes the adoption the stepping stone of Loki’s story-arc with Odin handling multi-racial adoption so poorly that they grow up groomed to detest their own race to the point where even for little children the idea of genocide is acceptable and glorified. And obviously, the first movie ends with them throwing themself to their death off the Bifröst so in a storyline encompassing five movies that would make a good cliffhanger or maybe bridge-over-black-hole-hanger in which the next logical step of the narrative would be the confrontation with Thor about Loki being of the race they’ve been raised to detest.

And that’s where we get to the inconsistencies of the movies and how the affect Loki’s characterisation so much. We never see Thor actually learn about this. We take his word – nay, Loki’s assumption for it that Odin, a proven unreliable narrator, has told Thor. We don’t know how that went, we don’t know how Thor coped with that knowledge, whether he questioned his own behaviour, how it affected his view of their sibling etc.  We don’t even know for sure Frigga knows where Loki is from and who their parent is – in fact, her relationship to that secret is one of the poorest handled plot-points in the entire series but you didn’t ask about that so back on topic. I will later say something on the subject of between movies vs. in movies but what matters is: We never have that confrontation. We never see Loki deal with their Jötun form in the Avengers and you’re like: ok cut them some slack, they had to force a lot of plot between Tony Stark’s one-liners so actual characterisation of one of the like four interesting villains that give the MCU such a giant head start over the DCU (two of which they don’t even really own). And you say to yourself: Ok they’re going to pick it up in the Dark World. And I’m not going to go into the misogynist implications of killing Frigga, but just say we get a lot of narrative nonsense that is a) Fridging her to further Loki’s man-pain and b) leaving the main-motivator of Loki’s as a villain (the struggle with their adoption) at that dungeon shouting match, unresolved. It absolutely robs avenging Frigga as Loki’s supposed main-motivation for redemption of any and all meaning or at least makes it so obscure that we can’t tell its exact meaning. Especially because their sacrifice (and I will not get into the annoying idea that a villain must die to be redeemed bc I’m a villain and find it offensive) was also spontaneously changed long after the filming had actually ended.

And there again, next inconsistency. We don’t know whether they faked their death on purpose (and if they did how long they had been planning it and whether it was all a big escape-and-take-over-Asgard-attempt) or whether they thought they were dying which means that their sacrifice was meaningful after all but it’s once again not resolved. And I mean, I’d prefer to think it was, but still. Remember when I said I was going to get back to the idea of between the movies vs. in the movies? I get back to that now because I’m not a Marvel writer: The most interesting things happen to Loki between movies and not in them. I’m bolding this because I’m a bold person but it’s also the main-issue I have with the Thor-movies despite me generally standing on the side that they’re actually among the better Marvel movies, no matter what edgy Youtubers say on the subject, but just fall flat on the perceived intended audience (male fanboys who feel they could do and say anything if only they had the power to force people to put up with it which is technically true without consequences which is not true) because Thor’s main-character arc is about him overcoming the issues and character-traits as flaws that make many other MCU-characters so ‘cool’ and ‘funny’.

We get the same with Loki dealing with their heritage-issues. At the beginning of Ragnarök they’ve magically resolved them. Or have they? Or are they just weaponizing Odin ‘outing’ them at their fucking trial (which was also filmed after the movie was made) I mean, in a way I like that Taika Waititi focussed Thor’s and Loki’s reconciliation on them overcoming their main-problem of all movies – trust – and not the initial problem that had set them apart - Loki’s jealousy when they realised that they never had a place in their own world - that had been abandoned for so long now. Especially considering that what sparked even the revelation of Loki’s true heritage was their distrust for Thor whom they didn’t trust to be a good king – and were justified. All that is, for once, resolved with Thor becoming a good king and Loki trusting them.

So personally. If you had just ended their storyline there it would have been fine. Maybe give us the damn hug and some talk about the Jötun issue and leave it at that. But then Infinity War rolled around and I’m not going to get into the can of political worms that is killing of half a ship of refugees in the current social climate because it was a movie about killing off people at random for others to survive and that’s an entire swimming pool of worms that the can is just swimming in slowly drifting into the distance, but it was just. Frigga’s death x10. We didn’t need it, it addressed a new thing about Loki’s storyline that will never be developed – their relationship with Thanos and the actual factors motivated by it – and as always left it unresolved. Thor, being the supposed centrum of these movies – will never know about it, most likely. I mean, we’ll apparently get some flashback and time-travel in Avengers 4 but I don’t have high hopes that something will be resolved then and I hope we at least get a good moping scene from Thor. It’s almost ironically that while Thor doesn’t know about the exact background of Loki working with Thanos and just maybe knows we-don’t-know-how-much about his sibling’s actual heritage, he seems to know exactly how dead they are. Because these movies are so inconsistent that he got to straight-up tell the audience that Loki is dead when it makes no sense because obviously choking on a grape kills them and not being stabbed through the heart. Which brings me to the next topic:

Their powers. Me being an avid magic-user who can do everything but turn into birds I’m very interested in that. Of course, we’ve got this big difference between comics-Loki and movies-Loki with MCU-Loki being significantly weaker and significantly more knife-focussed. And that’s fine. But their powers are also so fucking inconsistent. As a baby they can pull off a full-conversion into an Aesir but as a grown-up they can’t even make a solid copy of themselves? Sometimes illusions dissolve at mere contact but when they cover themself with it they can hold for four years are you telling me that no one ever brushed against them for four years? What about their clothes are they solid? Also, Loki when he’s visiting Thor when he’s under arrest by SHIELD seems to shift between visible and invisible and solid and not-solid which is something that would have come in handy at various other places in the movies but wasn’t used. We know that Loki can turn themself and others into animals but again we only hear that talked about but never actually see it employed when it would be useful. Also being Jötun can they employ ice-magic because that shit looks useful or only with the Casket and why didn’t they take the Casket is it because they resolved the issue and don’t want to revisit it or because the wound is still open or any of the other thousands of things you didn’t resolve??? The aspect about this handwave-y magic stuff isn’t so much that it bothers me, particularly because we know that Frigga, the most relevant relationship they have aside from Thor, is the one who taught them magic so it’s not like there isn’t an interesting basis for this subject to build upon.

I mean this all sounds like a lot of complaining but it’s also because I really liked the character that I can actually be bothered to get upset about these things. And the thing is, sometimes I feel like the things that annoy me are the things the writers do on purpose and the aspects I like are purely circumstantial. Like that scene about them standing on a street yelling stuff about submission all-dressed in leather in a reputed to be rather homophobic part of a country? Iconic stuff. The fact that they wear as many layers at all times and cover up as much as they can? Obviously a common villain trope and a common decision but for a character feeling so at odds with their own body (a storyline you couldn’t be bothered with for four movies in case you remember MCU) just fuel for headcanons. That fancy leather get-up clearly hand-crafted with golden pieces added paired…with THAT wig? Iconic. Tbh reason for concern too. Like I see that Loki like 3 times a day when they go to that Lush right beside my favourite spot for arguing with pigeons and my hair still looks better than theirs even with the pigeons nesting in it. I’m not 90% sure that the whole sweaty Christmas Tree look Loki had in Avengers was all to make them seem more villainous or at least to be attributed to how ‘manic’ and ‘insane’ they are but actually gave people material to be super-detailed in their ideas about how they were tortured by Thanos which would actually be interesting. There are also a lot of characters that it would be interesting to see Loki interact with that they don’t ever share a scene with in the Bravest Crossover Event Of All Times.

That’s not to say that I don’t like their interpretation, I do, but I just feel like if they had focussed on fewer subjects and stuck with them through the movies instead of throwing new pain at them (and at Thor) with every installation the whole thing would have been more interesting and satisfying in the end. This way they just forced the fans to figure out stuff for themselves. I notice that I only spoke of Tom Hiddleston as an actor and not as a person and I want to assure you his restraining order is very effective too.

[aion-rsa]

Link Tank: Comic Book Writer Tom King on Batman and Love

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Check out this exclusive interview with comic book writer Tom King on his Batman run, Bruce Wayne and love, and more.

“Since his rise in the mid-2010s as a must-read comic book writer with an unlikely background in the CIA, 42-year-old Tom King has used superheroes — both ones you know (Batman) and ones you don’t (Mister Miracle) — to explore themes often avoided in the stereotypically masculine genre: Love and marriage.”

Read more at Inverse.

Microsoft has apparently filed a patent for a chat bot technology that mimics real, deceased people.

“From customer service to Marvel marketing gimmicks, chat bots have come a long way since ‘SmarterChild’ entertained users on AOL Instant Messenger in the early aughts. Now, Microsoft is hoping to steer artificial intelligence into murkier waters—namely, creating bots that mimic real, deceased people.”

Read more at Mental Floss.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Astronomers have discovered a fascination planetary system 200 light-years from Earth with five planets locked in perfect harmony with each other.

“A unique planetary system located 200 light-years from Earth hosts five exoplanets with orbits locked together in a repeating pattern, despite their very different sizes and densities. The discovery is challenging astronomers’ notions of the kinds of planetary systems that can exist and how they form.”

Read more at Gizmodo.

Twitter may be venturing into providing long-form content to its user base with the acquisition of Revue, a newsletter platform.

“Our tweets may be limited to 280 characters, but Twitter has revealed its desire to provide long-form content today by announcing its acquisition of a newsletter platform. Kavyon Beykpour, Twitter product lead, and Mike Park, VP of Publisher Products, announced via the Twitter blog that the company has acquired Revue…”

Read more at PCMag.

From The Babysitter to The Perks of Being a Wallflower, check out the best teen movies you can watch on Netflix today.

“Put on your varsity jacket, grab your Trapper Keeper, and stream these essential teen movies on Netflix. Remember, if you can’t get enough of these teen dreams, check out the best teen TV shows on Netflix.”

Read more at Thrillist.

Have you ever seen or heard about a movie or TV show that’s bad, but think you should give it a chance. Well, you don’t have to.

“So you say the trailer to [insert latest thing] was released and it failed to impress you? Well, what if I told you that you could just … not invest your time in that thing even if people are telling you to give it a fair chance? What if I told you that the 1 minute 30 seconds you gave it was enough? Hell, what if I told you that you don’t even have to do THAT, you can just say no, period?”

Read more at The Mary Sue.

The post Link Tank: Comic Book Writer Tom King on Batman and Love appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3qZIAVj

[ellana-ravenwood]

“You taste like coffee” - Tim Drake x Reader

Because there isn’t enough love for our lovely Red Robin. Besides, many of you asked for more Tim Drake so, here’s a fluffy fic with him, hope you’ll like it : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

************

Once again, he’s late. 

It used to bother you how he would NEVER be on time, and invent stupid excuses when he’d finally arrive. At the beginning of your relationship, you actually almost broke up with him because of that…You thought you just didn’t matter enough to him, and you were not one to play game.

When you were with someone, then there was no one else and you were committed, and it seems that he definitely wasn’t ! When you talked to him about it, he kinda panicked and told you things that no one ever told you (« You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, the only one that keep me sane ! » and such things), his eyes so honest that you could only believe him and…You stayed.

And oh man, you were sure glad you did. You stuck around, even though his tardiness was really getting on your nerve, and it was the best decision you ever took.

Because after three months of relationship, you finally discovered why it seemed to be impossible for him to be on time.

You were walking home late at night, which was a terrible idea when you lived in Gotham, but you got caught up in the school library, working on some important essays you had to give the next day (you and your habit to always wait the last minute to do things…Queen of Procrastination). You had missed the last bus that could get you to your apartment and you knew the night bus was even more dangerous than walking, with all the robberies and drug deal (it was just the perfect place for those stuffs you know ? Always in movements, and there were so few night buses that traffic was easy to keep track of for criminals…And to be warned in advance if the GCPD was around).

So here you were, in the streets of Gotham, very late at night. For some reason, you weren’t really scared. Not because you thought you’d get saved by any members of the « Batfamily » as you liked to call all of those night vigilante lurking around in the city, but because..Well, you were born in Gotham.

And when you were a true gothamite, born and raised, you were used to the latent comes and insecurities of the place. Besides, it was when you where scared that things always got bad. If you walked through the streets, fast but not too much, with a confident pace, you were most likely not gonna get attacked.

Lowlife criminals who attacked people in the street weren’t really tough, they were waiting for a weak prey, so if you looked confident ? Nope.

You were a short woman, but you weren’t afraid, and people who weren’t afraid in Gotham were dangerous. You had walked a thousands times home on your own, at night, and never once did you get attacked.

But there were always exceptions, you guessed…and tonight was one of them.

They jumped you from a side alleyway, and dragged you down into its darkness, muffling your screams with their hands. Oh. They weren’t just any lowlife criminals. They were the worst of them all.

Those weren’t the people that were after your phone, or your wallet. No. Those were the one that wanted something else, that were just disgusting pigs.

You fought like Hell, but they were more powerful than you, and besides, you were largely outnumbered.

Tears appeared down your cheeks when you started to feel their hands on your naked skin, and you closed your eyes…When suddenly, you fell on the ground as they released you.

Were you dead ? No. You could still feel the cold ground of a chilly Autumn night in Gotham…Or maybe that was what the Afterlife was ? Being stuck in the place you died forever ?

You opened one eyed, and then the other, and what you saw…blew your mind.

It was one of the guy that always stuck around Batman. The one that had a black mask over his face, and wicked cool red wings.

And looking at him fight made you feel something strange. His movements looked familiar, as if you knew the dude. But…it was impossible right ?

One of the thing that made Tim fall in love with you, was your quick wit and quick thinking, and as you were watching « Red Robin » fighting those disgusting thugs that attacked you, you slowly came to the realization that…this was your boyfriend.

You had no doubt about it. It was Tim. The way he jumped from one leg to the other, the way he ducked to avoid a mean punch, his little chuckle as he took them down one by one, effortlessly…

And besides, you kissed that mouth enough time to remember it. To have it printed in your brain. You touched lovingly this chin on numerous occasions, there was no way you wouldn’t recognize it.

And as the man knocked out the last thug, he approached you, and the worries you saw on his face confirmed your suspicions. It was really Tim. It was really your boyfriend.

Before he could ask you if you were alright or not, you whispered :

-Tim…

And he froze. Scared of what was gonna happen next. You looked around, to make sure no one was looking at you two, and approached him shyly, just in case it wasn’t Tim. But seeing how tensed he was, yup, totally your boyfriend full of anxiety.

You cupped his cheeks, and smiled, releasing some stress from his shoulders. Your lips brushed his slightly…and it turned into a full on make-out session behind some dumpsters.

But you two were cut short by someone clearing his throat. You pulled away from each other, and…here he was. The Batman. That you now knew must be Bruce Wayne (since he was Tim’s adopted father and oh my God it made so much sense ! How the hell didn’t you guessed it before ? Not that you ever cared much but..it was so obvious !).

You blushed like never before because…Well, it was the goddamned Batman ! But the way he was trying to avoid looking at you and Tim also made you smile slightly, and you had to hold back the wave of laughter that threatened to wash over you.

Tim pulled away and untangled his hand from your hair, and, with a last smile and a « see you later » he left with his father.

You were pretty sure that you heard his dad say : « So I guess she knows uh ? » and Tim answer : « Wow, you really are the greatest detective on the planet ! », which made you chuckle, and with a smile impossible to erase from your face, you went home.

So that’s why he was often late, and sometimes cancelled your plans. It wasn’t because he had someone else, or was treating your relationship as just a second hand entertainment. He really did mean what he told you about you being so important and the keeper of his sanity ! YES ! It wasn’t because he didn’t care about you, it was because he was Red Robin ! WOW ! YOUR BOYFRIEND WAS A FAMOUS NIGHT VIGILANTE ! Oh my God…your boyfriend was a famous vigilante. From that time on, your worries for him never subsided, and you were glad whenever he came to meet you, relieved that he was ok. Even if he was late.

Besides, it seems that you two were hand-made for each others. You had almost all the same interests (sometimes you argued about which character was better than the other, and you had long conversation about your favorite comic books, movies, tv shows, books authors etc etc...). You were both smart, and turned on by intelligence. You were both very tolerant and open minded, cared a lot about your families, about your friends...Yes. A match made in Heaven. 

************

You smile as you reminisce that night you discovered what Tim was, and shake your head lightly. Oh that man.

Today, as almost every time, he’s late again.

But by now, you’re used to it and don’t mind one bit anymore. Besides, you never leave your house without at least one book to read so…it’s fine.

You’re sitting on a bench where you’re suppose to meet him, and you’re deeply focused on your book when a shadow appears on your pages, hiding the sunlight and taking your concentration off of your book.

You smile as you lift your head, knowing who it must be and…your grin drops.

It’s not Tim. It’s Gregory. Your ex. The only man that you ever loved before Tim. Or rather, that you thought you loved, because if you compared it to the feelings you had for Tim…Well, they really didn’t play in the same ball pit.

He cheated on you with your best friend. You forgave him the first time, but broke up with him when you discovered that your best friend wasn’t the only one that fell for his charms…Yew.

You had to admit, he was still as handsome as ever, but you knew him, you knew what kind of guy he was. He was simply not made for monogamy, and that wasn’t your thing. Besides, you though Tim was handsomer, and way, way smarter as well.

-Hey (Y/N), long time no seen.

-Yeah, there was a reason for that…Gregory.

-Gregory ? It’s not Greg anymore ?

-Are you serious right now ?

-Yeah ok listen, I know I hurt you but…Well I just wanted to say i’m sorry.

-You already said that.

-Yeah but this time I mean it.

-Wow jee, you’re still the same good old asshole aren’t ya ?

-What ? What did I do ?

-You mean it « this time » ?

-Oh…Oh yeah…Well, you know me and my inability to use words correctly.

-If that’s your way of saying you’re a moron, then yes, I know.

-Well damn (Y/N), still as sharp as ever uh ? Still witty and all ? You sarcasm queen.

-I don’t like when people take advantage of me Gregory. And mock me. Multiple times.

-…Sorry. I can’t offer you more. I’m sorry alright ?

-Er. Whatever. Fine. I accept your apologies if that can make you feel better. Now, I was reading so…

You rise an eyebrow at him, and go back to read your book. But he doesn’t leave like you want him to. Goddammit, can’t he take a fucking hint ?

-You know, I never quite forgive myself for what I did to you. I’m glad you accept my apologies.

You roll your eyes to the sky at his stupidity. Wasn’t it obvious that you were « forgiving » him just so that he’d left you alone ? Apparently not. You turn to him and say :

-What you did to me…what was it again…Oh yeah, eight times. I bet you feel real sorry.

-But I do ! I was young and stupid and…

-You changed ? Well big fucking deal. I fail to see why you’re still talking to me Gregory.

-Oh my god you’re always so damn difficult ! I’m trying to apologies and to say that I want you back ok ! I realized that you’re the one that I love ?

You look at him blankly for a few seconds before…Exploding in laughter.

-This is the best joke you ever said Gregory ! Your only good joke actually ! Haha you really think I’m gonna buy that ? You really think I’m gonna fall for that ? Holy shit you’re an idiot. We broke up over four years ago dude, it took you that long to realize that ?

-No it didn’t ! It’s just…I couldn’t find you ! You moved out of your parents house and they refused to tell me where you lived, and Gotham is a big town ! And I say it’s destiny that I happened to walk around here and saw you and…

-Imma stop you right there. It’s not Destiny. There’s a reason my parents refused to tell you where I was living, and I don’t love you ok ? You cheated on me ! EIGHT TIMES ! And once with my best friend ! You never did anything but lie to me ! Besides, I’ve been dating that PERFECT guy for over two years now so…Fuck off.

-Oh my…This turns me on a bit too much.

-Wha…

You don’t have time to finish what you were gonna say, as his lips crash on yours. You’re too surprise to react at first, until you regain your sense and…Well, the punch you gave Gregory Talbot that day was one he would remember for a long time.

When he stands up from being knocked down the bench by your punch, and holds his bloody nose, he’s about to say something but you stand up too and…he runs away like a little boy.

With a satisfied smile, you sit back down and wait for your boyfriend.

************

Tim never comes. You wait for him for hours, but the sun starts to go down and you know he wouldn’t be THAT late without sending you a text or calling you. Sometimes, he’s too caught up in his work, or something, and would just cancel the date, or tell you to join him at Wayne Manor. But he’d never make you wait for almost six hours like that…

Of course, as you start leaving, you are worried sick, and you decide to go to his house instead of going back home.

He already got badly injured before, but his father, Bruce, would always call you to warn you, and to tell you you can come by any time to see him…So if neither him or Tim called…Maybe the worst happened ? Maybe the Bat is too destroyed by grief to think about calling you ?

If Tim died, you’re pretty sure you’ll never come back from it…

************

You reach Wayne Manor a little bit after 8 pm, and are greeted by a very jovial Alfred.

It has been a few days since any of the boys, including Bruce, came home hurt, and the butler was always extra-happy when it was the case. When the ones he considered son and grandsons came back unscathed.

You’re surprised when Alfred leads you to Tim’s room instead of the Batcave. Usually, at this hour, your boyfriend would get ready to go out and patrol…

-Master Tim doesn’t feel very well tonight.

Alfred explains, he then adds :

-But now that you’re here, I’m sure he’ll feel way better.

He knocks on Tim’s bedroom door and say you’re here…No answer. Thinking he might have fallen asleep, he opens the door and…no, he’s not asleep. He’s sitting, back to you guys, on the floor, back against his bed, looking out the window, with some music plugged in his ears.

Alfred smiles to you and gestures for you to come in, and with a wink he leaves. Oh that man, you adored the Wayne family’s butler.

Still worried, but less than before as you can see he doesn’t seem to have big injuries, you approach him.

You’re surprised once again when you see him wearing one of your favorite suit he owns. A black suit with a read dress shirt and a yellow tie that fits him just so damn well…If he’s sick, why would he still wear his suit and…More importantly, why was he wearing a suit anyway ? Even though he was a Wayne, Tim never wore suits casually, only when he was getting ready to go on dates with you, or if he had to go to a charity ball and other galas…His tie is undone and the top few buttons of his dress shirt are open. 

You startle him as he sees your shadow coming closer and he stands up, taking a fighting stance. When he sees you, it’s not the usual happiness and love you see in his eyes, but pain and…anger ?

He doesn’t say anything, obviously waiting for you to speak first…so you do :

-Hey…are you alright ?

He stares at you intensely, as if to detect wether you’re mocking him or not. But you seem quite serious. And genuinely worried. So, in a barely audible voice, he sighs :

-As if you don’t know how I’m feeling…

-If I’m asking then it means…

-Don’t play dumb with me (Y/N), it doesn’t suit you.

-What are you even talking about ? I’m confused !

He doesn’t answer, take a deep breath and is about to say something, but doesn’t. He just looks at you, and the anger slowly subside to leave place only to pain. You are indeed utterly confused, not sure what’s happening…But what you’re sure of, is that you hate seeing that expression on his face. You dare to ask :

-…Why…Why didn’t you come today ? I waited for you all afternoon…Did…Did something happen ?

-You tell me.

-What ? I don’t understand. Why didn’t you come ?

-I didn’t want to bother you.

-B…Bother me ? What are you talking about ? You never bother me !

-You seemed busy though.

-I was reading a book. I always do when you come to meet with me.

-I already told you (Y/N), don’t play dumb it doesn’t suit you.

-I’m not playing dumb !

You feel the anger slowly rising in you. Why was he acting this way ? What the Hell was going on ? What was that about you seeming busy and…Oh. Oh. Oooooooh.

-Gregory.

-Oh, so that’s his name ? It sounds stupid.

If the situation wasn’t that bad, you would have smile at Tim’s weak attempt at turning your ex into ridicule. Yeah. Sure. His name « sounds stupid ».

He looks away from you, and your heart miss multiple beats. You walk closer to him, but he takes a few steps back and…It breaks your heart a little bit.

-It’s not what you think Tim.

-Oh ? It’s not ? So that guy wasn’t kissing you ? Wasn’t shoving his tongue down your throat ?

-No, he wasn’t. Well, yes, he was.

He turns back to look at you in the eye, and the hurt you see in it makes you feel distressed. You have to explain things to him, and fast, hoping he’s willing to listen. Before he can say anything else, your words flow quickly out of your mouth, so he doesn’t have time to cut you off :

-He did kiss me. He’s my ex. The one I told you about, who cheated on me countless times. The proper asshole. The one I said was the opposite of you. Dumb and who didn’t pay any attention to me ! He kissed me, said something about missing me but I didn’t kiss back ! I swear I didn’t Tim ! And he didn’t shove his tongue down my throat I didn’t let him ! He must have kissed me for like, four seconds, before I realize what was going on ! I was just so stunned that he was daring doing that ! I pushed him away right after ! And punched him, like you showed me to ! I really did Tim you gotta believe me ! I love you ! I’d never hurt you ! And I’d surely never cheat on you ! Not after what I had to go through when I was cheated on…

There a silence. Way too long for comfort. You’re afraid he doesn’t believe you, and do not dare to look at him…When finally, you hear him chuckle.

A bit confused, you look at him. He’s laughing so hard that he’s holding his guts, and you’re even more confused.

Between each fit of laughter, he manages to say :

-Hahahaha I’m sorry hahahahaha this is nervous hahahaha I really tough…hahahaha…I really thought that I lost you ! I…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh. Nervous laughter. Yeah ok, it happened to him often.  

After a few seconds, he finally calm down and look at you, and in his eyes, you can only see relief and love.

He takes the few steps that separate him from you and pull you into a hug, your head flushed against his heart. You hear his loud beating slowly calming down, and you wrap your arms around his torso, pulling him ever so closer to you.

Your embrace seems to last a lifetime, and you wish you never had to pull away…but it’s only less than two minutes later that he does pull away, and his smiles make you melt into his arms.

-I’m…I’m sorry I jumped on conclusion. It’s usually not my style but…Well, you make me act like a dummy sometimes. You have a lot of different effects on me and…i’m sorry.

You shake your head.

-It’s ok Tim, I know what it must have looked like.

-Maybe but, if I stayed just a few seconds more before bolting away, and by the way, I left because I was afraid to beat the guy to death, well if I didn’t bolt away, I would have seen you punching him and…Well, I’m sorry I missed that.

You chuckle.

-I made him fall off the bench and I’m pretty sure I broke his nose.

-Aaah, that’s my girl.

-You know Tim, everyone think you’re a calm nerd but really, you can be quite violent !

-Only when it concerns you. The…The thought of living without you is unbearable. Sorry for the cheesiness.

-Don’t be, I love the cheesiness…Please, continue.

It’s his turn to chuckle, but to humor you, he does continue :

-I love you to death, and when I saw that guy kissing you it felt like my heart was pierced by a thousand arrows. Those explosive ones that Green Arrow has. I love you so much that sometimes, it physically hurt. I…I’m running out of cheesy things to say (Y/N).

You smile fondly at him and go on your tip toes to softly kiss him. You giggle softly and say : 

-You taste like coffee. You really gotta watch your caffeine intake my love. 

He snorts and adds : 

-Oh it’s too late my lady, I’m pretty sure by now, my blood type is “coffee +”.

This time, you full on laugh at your nerdy boyfriend and adds : 

-There’s high chances of that indeed. You’re more coffee than human. 

-Probably. Sorry for the taste. 

-I don’t mind...too much. 

-Which is why I love you (Y/N). Well, that, amongst other things. 

He winks at you, and you swear he’s the most attractive man you ever met. The best being that he didn’t even know it (and you kinda got it. After all, his older brothers and his father were really hot too, and he probably thought he wasn’t on the same level they were...Spoiler : he totally was). 

-I love you too Tim. You’re the only one, and will always be the only one in my heart. Hell, I never loved Gregory, if love is what I feel for you, then I never got that for him. Besides, he’s a terrible kisser. You however…

He gets the hint, and bends down to slowly kisses you. It’s a loving kiss, a languid one. Your lips move in sync against each other, and slowly, his tongue slips in your mouth. It could have got more passionate but a knock on his door, followed by his father coming in his bedroom breaks you two apart. 

Bruce looks at you and him for a moment, embarrassed that he walked in on you two making out yet again, and says : 

-Hum..I…I just wanted to…Make sure you…you were alright…Since you said you weren’t feeling well…And hum...I see you are. 

He hurries out of the room without waiting for a reply, and can hear you and Tim trying to hold your laughter in…and not succeeding very well. 

Bruce shakes his head. He really ought to wait for a response before entering his sons’ bedrooms right after knocking, because catching them making out with their girlfriends was getting old (this is  referencing this story : « Caught red-hooded »).

The End. 

_______________________________

Hope you liked it and that you’re not disappointed. 

[tipsycad147]

SPIDERS AS SPIRITUAL GUIDES

Posted on September 11, 2017 by Crooked Bear Creek Organic Herbs

I know many are saying “Ewww”. Autumn is a great time to learn about spiders as many are attempting to come inside before the weather becomes too cold for them to survive.

Last night my daughter and I had flashlight’s in hand searching around our house and the apartment complex we manage looking for the many types of arachnid that dwell among our corners, eaves and under a rock. To say the least our neighbours and tenants think we are beyond crazy! My favourite as long as I can remember is the cat spiders.

Here is a unique aspect of our eight-legged friends.

Spiders in Druidry:

As we all know, Druidry is a spiritual path based on Nature. The knowledge we have can be found everywhere. In Druidry, the Spider represents The Bard, the Ovate and the Druid. As a Bard it produces works of art as depicted in the many kinds of webs it can produce; as an Ovate seer, to determine the best spot for the web or hideout for the hunt, and the lessons the animal teaches us shows us the Druid side of Spider lore, or as some call it, Spider Medicine.

The Spider is the guardian of the ancient languages and alphabets. Every society has had myths about how the different languages and alphabets were formed. One example is the Ogham. The Ogham can be found in the Web of a Spider. This is why the Spider is considered the teacher of language and the magic of writing. Those who weave magic with the written word probably have a Spider as a guide.

I have found that we can learn much more from the webs and their makers, the Spider. According to Scottish Legend, King Robert the Bruce of Scotland hid in a cave where he saw a persistent Spider weaving her web.The story about Robert the Bruce, the cave and the Spider is well known to all English or Scottish school pupils. However, outside the Isles it may not be this well known, so here is the story.

King Robert the Bruce I was born at Lochmaben Castle in 1274. He was Knight and Overlord of Annandale. In 1306 he was crowned King of Scotland and henceforth tried to free Scotland from the English enemy.

After being defeated at a battle, Bruce escaped and found a hideout in a cave. Hiding in a cave for three months, Bruce was at the lowest point of his life. He thought about leaving the country and never coming back. While waiting, he watched a Spider building a web in the cave’s entrance. The Spider fell down time after time, but finally he succeeded with his web. So Bruce decided also to retry his fight and told his men: ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again’.

Old legend as told

The lesson the spider is teaching here is persistence. King Robert the Bruce of Scotland and his army had this strong persistence and determination until they finally beat the English at the Battle of Bannockburn. And this is an important yet simple thing a Spider can teach us.

The Spider as an animal is a spiritual teacher in its own right. For example, the Spider’s web is a constant reminder of the eight festivals. This is easily seen in the wheel webs some Spiders weave. The strands of the web, like the spokes of a wheel, are straight from the edge to the middle and do form the eight fold wheel. That same web also shows the pentagram and the levels of spirituality known in Druidry as Annwn, Abred, Gwynvyd, and Keugant.

The Spider is The Bard, the Ovate and the Druid rolled into one. Let’s take a look at the lessons from the Druid Spider by contemplating its web.

Seeing the Spider weaving the web, it signals to us that we must weave our own lives. The Spider as a guide (or totem, familiar, etc…) serves as a reminder that our choices construct our lives. When the Spider appears to us, it is a message to be mindful of the choices we are making. Then ask yourself:

How are my choices affecting my life?

How can my choices improve my life?

How are my choices affecting others in my life?

Spiders and their webs draw attention to our life choices, but that is not all. They also show us how we can manipulate our thinking so we can construct the life we want to live.

Spiders make us aware of the amazing construction of their webs. They are fully functional, practical, and perfect in design. Spider webs serve as homes, food storage, egg incubators and are almost limitless in their functionality. When we take a good look at this diversity, we can also look at the web-like construct of our own lives. How do we get the most effective life?

We can derive even more Spider symbol meaning when we consider certain subtle characteristics that represent ancient symbols of infinity. When we take a look at the Spider itself and consider most Spiders have eight eyes and all have eight legs, we can see that the Spider also shows the meaning of the number eight, which involves cycles, the passage of time, evolution and, as mentioned before, the eight fold path of the year.

Spiders are also found to be connected to Halloween or Samhain. This is because Spiders are related to death because of the venom they carry. This venom is of course also used as a basis for the antidote, connecting the Spider both to death and rebirth and thus she stands for the completion of the circle.

The Spider teaches us to maintain a balance – between past and future, physical and spiritual, male and female. The Spider also teaches us that everything we now do is weaving what we will encounter in the future. In the tarot deck is a card – The Wheel of Fortune. This is a card that has to do with rhythms – the rise and fall, the flow and flux. It is linked to the energies of honor and fame, and the sensitivities necessary to place ourselves within the rhythm of Nature. Meditation upon this card would be beneficial for anyone with the Spider as a guide.

The Spider, because of its characteristics, has come to be associated with magic and the energy of creation. It is a symbol of creative power, reflected in its ability to spin a silken web. It is also associated with keeping the feminine energies of creation alive and strong. This has ties to the characteristics of some Spiders, i.e. the female black widow, which will kill and eat the male after mating has exhausted it.

The Spider is also associated with its spiral energy, the links with the past and the future. The spiral of the web, converging at a central point, is something to be meditated upon by those with Spiders as a guide. Are you moving toward a central goal or are you scattered and going in multiple directions? Is everything staying focused? Are you becoming too involved and/or self-absorbed? Are you focusing on others’ accomplishments and not on your own? Are you developing resentment because of it – for yourself or them?

If a Spider is a guide in your life, ask yourself some important questions. Are you weaving your dreams and imaginings into reality? Are you using your creative opportunities? Are you feeling closed in or stuck, as if in a web? Do you need to pay attention to your balance and where you are walking in life? Are others out of balance around you? Do you need to write? Are you inspired to write or draw and not following through? Remember that the Spider is the keeper of knowledge and of the primordial alphabet. The Spider can teach how to use the written language with power and creativity so that your words weave the web around those who would read them.

Spiders in Druidry are linked with the Goddess, some Gods, the wheel of the year, spinning, weaving, each individual human, the world, creations, and creation.

Spiders in other cultures:

Spiders are very delicate creatures that play an important role in the myths and lore of many peoples as the teacher of balance between the past and future, the physical and spiritual. To the Native Americans, Spider is Grandmother, the link to the past and future. In India, it’s associated with Maya, the weaver of illusions. With its gentle strength, Spider spins together the threads of life with intricate webs. Spider knows the past affects the future and visa versa. It calls us to make use of our creativity and weave our dreams into our destiny. If you want to make a deeper connection with your Animal Totem, fill your environment with images of the animal to let the animal know it is welcome in your space.

Among the various Native American traditions, spider medicine has been known to represent creativity. Her eight legs represent the four winds of change and the four directions on the medicine wheel, while her body is in the shape of the infinity symbol, which represents infinite possibilities. Spider was said to have woven the alphabet, creating the means for people to communicate and record their history through language. Just like the Greek myth of the Fates, three women who weave the tapestry of life, spiders are said to weave the creative forces that bring forth the intricately symmetrical patterns of our lives.

Of course, I must not forget the Greek myth of the maiden Arachne and the Goddess Athena. In the myth, Arachne claimed that she was a better weaver than the Goddess Athena. After winning from Athena, she was turned into a Spider and she and her offspring became the best weavers in existence. Nor must I forget to mention the West African and Caribbean trickster spirit Anansi, also known as Ananse, Kwaku Ananse, and Anancy whose story is like the tricksters Coyote, Raven or Iktomi found in many Native American cultures and Loki found in Norse mythology. Anansi literally means spider. These tales show spider teaching skill and wisdom in speech, slave resistance, and survival as well as teaching mankind the techniques of agriculture and so we see again a kinship in spider’s lessons reaching many cultures in a profound way.

Practicum

This practicum is designed to get to know the spider a little better.

Perform this while in your Sacred Grove after performing your Light Body exercise or in a state of meditation or visualisation.

In your mind, you see an open place with one exit. From that exit, you see a small garden Spider approaching. You follow the Spider and you see that she walks to a tree. In that tree, she starts to weave a web blocking the exit. The spider weaves her web so steadily that fascinates you and soon you realise that the weaving itself is a meditation. With that weaving, you imagine her as a creator weaving the whole universe and you also imagine her as a dream catcher weaving the net to manifest our deepest desires. When the Spider is finished weaving, she sits in the middle of the web and she starts her teaching to you. She ends her teachings by telling you that she weaves a new web every day. She tells you that she takes down the web when it is ruined and begins again every day and she never has to think about it, she just spins her web with great care.

After giving her lessons to you, she takes down her web blocking the exit and leaves. By doing so she is signalling that it is time to end your meditation or visualisation.

Eisteddfod Grandmother Spider Steals the Fire. A Mississippi Choctaw Legend

The Choctaw People say that when the People first came up out of the ground, People were encased in cocoons, their eyes closed, their limbs folded tightly to their bodies. And this was true of all People, the Bird People, the Animal People, the Insect People, and the Human People. The Great Spirit took pity on them and sent down someone to unfold their limbs, dry them off, and open their eyes. But the opened eyes saw nothing because the world was dark, no sun, no moon, not even any stars. All the People moved around by touch, and if they found something that didn’t eat them first, they ate it raw, for they had no fire to cook it.

All the People met in a great powwow, with the Animal and Bird People taking the lead, and the Human People hanging back. The Animal and Bird People decided that life was not good, but cold and miserable. A solution must be found! Someone spoke from the dark,

‘I have heard that the people in the East have the fire.’ This caused a stir of wonder, ‘What could fire be?’ There was a general discussion, and it was decided that if, as rumour had it, the fire was warm and gave light, they should have it too. Another voice said, ‘But the people of the East are too greedy to share with us.’ So it was decided that the Bird and Animal People should steal what they needed, the fire!

But, who should have the honour? Grandmother Spider volunteered, ‘I can do it! Let me try!’ But at the same time, Opossum began to speak. ‘I, Opossum, am a great chief of the animals. I will go to the East and since I am a great hunter, I will take the fire and hide it in the bushy hair on my tail.’ It was well known that Opossum had the furriest tail of all the animals, so he was selected.

When Opossum came to the East, he soon found the beautiful, red fire, jealously guarded by the people of the East. But Opossum got closer and closer until he picked up a small piece of burning wood, and stuck it in the hair of his tail, which promptly began to smoke, then flame. The people of the East said, ‘Look, that Opossum has stolen our fire!’ They took it and put it back where it came from and drove Opossum away. Poor Opossum! Every bit of hair had burned from his tail, and to this day, opossums have no hair at all on their tails.

Once again, the powwow had to find a volunteer chief. Grandmother Spider again said, ‘Let em go! I can do it!’ But this time a bird was elected, Buzzard. Buzzard was very proud. ‘I can succeed where Opossum has failed. I will fly to the East on my great wings, then hide the stolen fire in the beautiful long feathers on my head.’ The birds and animals still did not understand the nature of fire. So Buzzard flew to the East on his powerful wings, swooped past those defending the fire, picked up a small piece of burning ember, and hid it in his head feathers. Buzzard’s head began to smoke and flame even faster! The people of the East said, ‘Look! Buzzard has stolen the fire!’ And they took it and put it back where it came from.

Poor Buzzard! His head was now bare of feathers, red and blistered looking. And to this day, buzzards have naked heads that are bright red and blistered.

The powwow now sent Crow to look the situation over, for Crow was very clever. Crow at that time was pure white and had the sweetest singing voice of all the birds. But he took so long standing over the fire, trying to find the perfect piece to steal that his white feathers were smoked black. And he breathed so much smoke that when he tried to sing, out came to a harsh, ‘Caw! Caw!’

The Council said, ‘Opossum has failed. Buzzard and Crow have failed. Who shall we send?’

Tiny Grandmother Spider shouted with all her might, ‘LET ME TRY IT PLEASE!’ Though the council members thought Grandmother Spider had little chance of success, it was agreed that she should have her turn. Grandmother Spider looked then like she looks now, she had a small torso suspended by two sets of legs that turned the other way. She walked on all of her wonderful legs toward a stream where she had found clay. With those legs, she made a tiny clay container and a lid that fit perfectly with a tiny notch for air in the corner of the lid. Then she put the container on her back, spun a web all the way to the East, and walked tiptoe until she came to the fire. She was so small, the people from the East took no notice. She took a tiny piece of fire, put it in the container, and covered it with the lid. Then she walked back on tiptoe along the web until she came to the People. Since they couldn’t see any fire, they said, ‘Grandmother Spider has failed.’

‘Oh no,’ she said, ‘I have the fire!’ She lifted the pot from her back, and the lid from the pot and the fire flamed up into its friend, the air. All the Birds and Animal People began to decide who would get this wonderful warmth. Bear said, ‘I’ll take it!’ but then he burned his paws on it and decided fire was not for animals, for look what happened to Opossum!

The Birds wanted no part of it, as Buzzard and Crow were still nursing their wounds. The insects thought it was pretty, but they, too, stayed far away from the fire.

Then a small voice said, ‘We will take it if Grandmother Spider will help.’ The timid humans, whom none of the animals or birds thought much of, were volunteering!

So Grandmother Spider taught the Human People how to feed the fire sticks and wood to keep it from dying, how to keep the fire safe in a circle of stone so it couldn’t escape and hurt them or their homes. While she was at it, she taught the humans about pottery made of clay and fire, and about weaving and spinning, at which Grandmother Spider was an expert.

The Choctaw remember. They made a beautiful design to decorate their homes, a picture of Grandmother Spider, two sets of legs up, two down, with a fire symbol on her back. This is so their children never forget to honour Grandmother Spider, Fire bringer!

https://goodwitcheshomestead.com/2017/09/11/spiders-as-spiritual-guides/