#its okay its >>> worth a reblog anyway

[queeranddepraved]

gimme attention, so my brain forgets how much i don't wanna exist? ✨️

[yuckydraws]

(Click for better quality)

Healing & Growth

(gif made by my friend @robanilla-arts is below - slight warning for flashing! Thanks again, Rob!)

[aklaustaleteller]

hey can you do one where the reader kind off changed klaus for the better he quit most of the killing shit a ultimately became a better person over all, and the news was all over that klaus mikealson had gone soft, so one of his (many) enemies decides to kidnap or hurt the reader as they think he had gone soft and he goes all hybrid on everyone to remind them of what he is capable off

Vontade

Y/n and Klaus had settled in the English Countryside, living in an isolated mansion that was settled under thick mist on most days. But what happens when Klaus leaves for a little, and things take a sinister turn for Y/n?

Warnings - I'm not joking when I say I have a list (right here). I'm begging on you on my knees -- please read the list before diving into the fic!!

Word Count - 10.2k (don't ask me about it)

Masterlist | please reblog the fic if you like it!

EVERYONE CALM DOWN THE OCTOBER FIC IS FINALLY HERE!!! Wait let me calm down first. It's been so very long but I hope you guys will find the wait worth it!! This is the longest fic I've ever written, and probably the darkest too! The amount of research that went into this is mind boggling but anyways, I really really really hope you enjoy your time reading!! (the fic is divided into 2 parts, both of which are in this post itself!)

Thank you, anon, for requesting this and waiting so long! I might've taken a completely different route than what you asked for but I hope you won't mind too much <3

And I'm so sorry if I raised anyone's expectations too much!! If there one thing you should know about me, it's that I'm a disappointment. So expect the worst, thank you!

And please, please, please share your thoughts with me -- give feedback and reblog! It'll genuinely increase my life span ajshfjjakgds. (If you hate this fic, don't tell me I'm faint hearted, okay? okay.)

Holding the curtains to the side, Klaus gazed out of the window, the ghosts of the past not so visible anymore in the heavy mist that sat upon the empty acres of land that held nothing but dead grass as well as the dead, gone and buried.

It was so early in the morning that it felt like early winter, and the moon was still visible, looking so soft that its sight took all the weight of grief off the watcher's heart.

The collar of his cotton shirt ruffled as a gust of wind passed him by and touched the cold skin of his wife who lay in bed, gazing at him with the tired eyes that didn't catch a blink of sleep in the centuries that they have shown her the terrors and the romanticised of the world.

He smiled, already turning to walk over to her side of the bed. He knelt on the hardwood floor, ignoring it's creaking as he leaned in to press a kiss to her ear lobe, one that chased her mouth.

More of the wind rushed inside the room but neither of them paid much mind to it, for the cold didn't bother them much. Y/n kissed him back, giggling because it seemed that his mouth was eager to wander to places that might be more sinful than the true existence of their kind.

"When do you have to leave?" Y/n asked, breathless as Klaus intertwined his fingers with hers, and saddened because of the inevitable.

"In a few hours," Klaus suggested as he raised the skirt of her night gown while he himself slipped lower and lower until Y/n had to raise the sheets with her hand to look into his eyes as he bit into her thigh close enough to her heat to make her eyes to roll into the back of her skull.

Her palm traced the valleys of his face, feeling the highs and the lows to keep herself from transcending somewhere else while his mouth traced and lapped at her sweetness that was mentioned instead as poison in one of the books that she'd read in some of her earlier days.

"Klaus," she heaved his name as he quickened his pace, his eyes boring into hers, putting on a veil of innocence that they had lost even before they'd been first witness to the world.

Y/n believed that she'd lost her innocence the moment her mother had died while giving birth to her.

Air escaped her lungs all at once as she felt herself release and her hands clutched the unruly curls on the top of Klaus' head. Her hips lifted off the bed, meeting and escaping his mouth at the same time while a certain kind of dizziness took over her, making her feel like a leaf drifting slowly and slowly, off the tree, towards the earth.

Her mouth instinctively kissed back his lips, and she turned the two of them, so she was sitting on top of him. A grin took over her mouth, her eyes crinkling on the corners as she kissed up his chest and wandered off with her trail sideways.

Y/n inhaled softly and deeply upon his neck, sinking her cunning teeth into his hardened skin until she felt some warmth gush into her mouth. His blood coated her tongue like a thick syrup, sweet and addictive.

She sucked and more of it came flowing. In fact, so much of it came that she felt some slipping down the corners of her mouth. So, she backed away, licking the edges of her mouth with her head thrown back, letting the air fill her lungs and kick back in her senses.

The soft caress of Klaus' hand on the back of her head made her look down again, at his face that had her saying she knew what an angel looks like.

The black oblivion in his eyes that promised her a soulmate to spend the rest of eternity with sucked her in. Soon she was turning into corner after corner in a labyrinth, beginning to race in the fear that she was being chased until she found herself leaning against a wall while Klaus pulled on the laces of her corset, pulling hard enough to make Y/n suspicious that he just intended to pull her into him.

She looked into the mirror and caught a glimpse of his smirk, squinting at him when he met her gaze in their reflection.

"I really wish you could accompany me on the ride to the masquerade," she whispered, closing her eyes when she felt his fingers tap their way to the clasp of her necklace and lock it properly.

"I am your escort at the ball, love," he sighed, kissing the back of her head. "Have trust in me, you'll be fine," he murmured against her hair, smelling the faint scent of white Lilies and apples.

Far from the smell of the decaying bodies that he'd have to pass on his way to the city of New Orleans in a short while, though.

Y/n shut her eyes, wanting to protest that nothing when she's left behind, all on her own, stays fine. Instead, she gave a tight nod and turned to cup his face in her palms.

"Miss me," she grinned against the deep maroon of his lips, her laugh echoing when he kissed her passionately. And then she sighed, feeling the silage, her hand tracing the impression made in space where Klaus was once standing; now gone.

Sighing, she trailed down the stairs noiselessly -- it was an art she'd perfected during her time in the isolated estate.

She lit a lantern because despite it being daytime, not even a ray of light fell to the dead ground through the heavy fog that seemed to have settled on their property overnight.

Y/n shook her head, forcing herself to get out of her head and to fix the ragged rhythm of her breathing. While at that, she noticed a cobweb in the corner of the ceiling, instantly making a mental note to get Klaus to clean it up. She'd never felt an attachment to the spiders, though she respected their talent of weaving so masterfully and passionately.

Not enough to not ruin their work, though.

With faintly trembling hands, she picked the lantern off the dining table that could host an entire committee. She turned to walk back over to the main door, eyes settled on the minute details carved into the mansion's main door frame.

Forgetting the keys on the hook screwed to the wall, she looked closely, like she did every single day in the hopes of finding something new. Something tugged at the corner of her mouth when she caught a rose with a dagger stabbed through its middle, designed intricately into the door’s handle.

Smiling in satisfaction, she backed away and – the keys were gone. Y/n had seen them hung on the corner-most hook out the five, but now all of them were empty.

"The house spirits don't want you to leave," whispered her grandmother.

Y/n's head snapped to her side, the door was closed, the air still.

"Leave out some honey for them, perhaps, you can negotiate," she chuckled dryly, and Y/n scrambled to do as told before something more precious was taken from her; even though her grandmother has been dead for centuries and only talks to her when she's alone.

Almost dropping the plate in her hurry, Y/n slid the honey filled utensil in the middle of the table before rushing out of the door.

She exhaled sharply, almost choking on her own saliva as she raced away from the mansion, unable to calm herself down as the image of the keys hung on the hook right before she shut the door with her eyes widened in fear, flashed across her mind.

Klaus had only been away for a half an hour and already things were beginning to take a sinister turn. She took a shuddering breath, forcing her mind to focus on Klaus so that the stone inside her chest doesn't burst into a million tiny shards and she ends up dead because of a thousand cuts.

She brought up the lantern to her eyesight and sighed -- the flame had gone out somewhere amidst her rush.

But she had been in the woods before, she knew her way like the patterns in Klaus' hair. Smiling to manipulate herself, she strolled forward, eyes settled on the trees.

The acres of land on which the mansion stood like a ship on ocean waves, was tucked away under the thick fog when Y/n turned around to see it. But even in the dark blurriness, Y/n saw the tiny flowers dotted throughout the open fields. They were going to die soon, she sighed and walked on.

Then she began to run to catch a leaf that the wind plucked off of a tree.

Some dead, some changing colours, some still green while others had already transitioned into shades of orange or brown. All of the trees would all be lifeless soon, with no leaves or flowers on them, and Y/n will once again find comfort in the death that will encapsulate everything around her.

Maybe eat some of the pomegranates off the trees that will still be bearing some happiness in order to taunt her existence.

Far away in the distant, Y/n could see more huge estates. They seemed abandoned, worn, lived in by ghouls and frustrated spirits. She wondered if sprites and pixies ever giggled away nights in the unkempt properties, but she stole her gaze from the architectures before they could lure her in.

To spend her time alone feeling as normal as she could, she began to think of the love of her life, of Klaus and of how they came to be. And it began something like this...

It was the year 1047 in Russia, and the colour in Y/n's face had settled so deep that there was no life left in her skin.

She traced her cheeks, eyes widely aghast as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. There was nothing under her skin, except for an unsettling silence. There was no rush of blood, or thrumming of her anxious heart so loud in her ears that she felt like she was going to die, instead of smiling at the reminder that she was still alive.

She wished now though, that she had celebrated when her heartbeats came to stutters because she couldn't breathe. Because now, as she tried to find a pulse, she slipped her hand from her neck to the skirts of her gown.

There was nothing in her to prove that she wasn't a living corpse. Her skin was cold, hardened and ridden of all colours.

This couldn't have been. She wasn't a human anymore, and the more she saw of herself, the more rumours about Vampires echoed in her mind. If she was a vampire, then she quickly needed to find another one to survive. And she needed to flee town in order to escape her father, who would probably not even realise her absence in the misery of remembering her late mother.

So, with erratic breathing, she'd rushed back to her room and pulled out the one big handbag she had. She threw in as much as she could, including a large shawl, her night clothes, her warm woollen as well as her silk hood. She rolled two of her dresses somehow to fit, and ran to steal a bottle of her father's brandy and some camphor. He wouldn't know until he would run out of his current bottle, and Y/n won't be there to blame or to conspire with then.

Chanting under her breath for God's mercy, she ran into her bathroom and gathered all of her essentials such as tooth and nail brushes, soap, hairbrush, hairpins, her handy mirror and a towel off the hook.

Hungry because of her state of extreme breathlessness and panic, she packed some crackers and the sandwiches she had made earlier in her lunch and closed the chain of the bag. It was going to be hard to run with it on her arm, but she knew that what would be more hard was death.

She was going to be seen as the thing at the feast or at the sacrifice, and then, she wasn't even going to be seen because people would either burn her or bury her alive. And there was a possibility that she could take one wrong step, and the rumour that was a vampire's existence, would become more of a reality – which would lead to mass murder, of the hiding vampires and likely some innocents who had done no wrong in life but suffer at the hands of it.

She ran through the streets in the middle of the day, where everyone was too busy or too ignorant to be concerned about her. Her house was fairly close to the state of Kievan Rus' and she cried tears of joy for God's blessing as she ran, surprisingly not out of breath.

She ran with the wind throughout the day and night, as silently as she could, not wanting to draw any attention until she reached her destination. And it was on the third morning that she finally came to a stop on the land of Kyiv Koenugarr, the capital of the state that stood on the Dnieper River, the one that flowed to the Black Sea.

For the first time in three days, she smiled. Her breaths came to a faint pace as she stopped by in one of the guest houses to clean up. She knew that she needed to look good enough to convince the one person she had hoped in her heart would help her escape.

She didn't need to rest to get even a blink of sleep, but just out of old habit, she lay down on the soft bedding and shut her eyes to stop the racing of her mind. She could think when she wasn't so much on the edge regarding the fact that she didn't even feel burnt out after so much.

The corners of her eyes moistened as she realised that she wouldn't be missed back home. Maybe the little boy who lived next door would be saddened, but he would forget her too. He was too small to remember disappearance, Y/n hoped. She should have said goodbye to him at least, but maybe that was supposed to be her life's regret.

When the sun came back up, Y/n pulled out the one dress she had laid under the mattress during the night in hopes of getting it a bit decent and dressed herself. She put colour on her mouth and on her cheeks, and kohl on her eyelashes while hinting some of it on the line above.

She needed to look good for this, in case she had to do some convincing or begging. She hoped that she could just threaten, but she wouldn't do that to him who she essentially considered her brother.

She rubbed the one herbal mixture that she had on herself in some places and the fragrance of Saffron, Rosemary and Musk hit her senses all at once. Centering herself, she packed her bag again and began her stroll to find a cart, to where she knew he would be.

"I need to go to the docks!" She shouted over the harsh wind at the man, and he urged her to climb into the cart. "Thank you," she said now that she was behind him.

He nodded and began to move forward, going faster with the help of the forceful wind. It didn't seem like the man minded silence too much, so she kept quiet much to her liking and began an inner monologue to decide how she was going to ask him.

The time passed quicker than she could come to a conclusion though, so she stepped off and handed the man a kuna with a gentle nod for a thank you. She hoped she could find a mirror to maybe fix her hair a bit but she was found too soon for that convenience.

"And what in the world are you doing here?"

He asked, a frown and a smile adorning his features at the same time.

Happiness surged through her body like a gust of wind at seeing his face. It felt like he'd almost lifted her spirits.

"Nikolai!"

She rushed over to him, wrapping her arms around him as tightly as she could. She giggled when he began to swerve the two of them from side to side.

"You're clearly here for a reason so how about you tell me before I set off?" He said, nodding his head towards the awaiting ship.

A worry settled deep in her stomach. She began fidgeting.

"Will you take me with you?" She asked in a whisper because she knew how absurd this might sound to him.

He gripped her shoulders a little tighter.

"The ships are full of Vikings, Y/n. Don't be a fool," he gritted, his fingers leaving a wrinkle on the puff of her dress' sleave.

"But you are going to be with me, so I'll be fine!" She insisted.

Nikolai pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head.

Sighing, he began, "why do you want to go to Europe all of a sudden?"

She swallowed. "To start over, you know? And it sounds nice over there, a change would be good," she shrugged.

Y/n knew that he could sense her lying but when he didn't press her about it, she took a breath of relief.

Nikolai turned to walk, but just because of her nature, she gripped his arm from behind.

When he turned with intrigue, and saw worry settled in her big eyes, he hugged her again.

"I'll take care of you like my little sister, Solnishko (sunshine)," he whispered against her hair, and Y/n shut her eyes to force herself calm down. She had known him since her childhood, and she knew deep down that she trusted him more than she trusted her own father.

Backing away a couple steps, she let him take her bag from her hand. Squaring her shoulders, Y/n nodded, which Nikolai copied.

They shared a glint of excitement and nervousness in their gazes and passed each other a wide grin before making a run for the ship that was going to leave any minute now.

Y/n hadn't realised that while deep in her memory, she had come to a halt in front of the frozen lake. So when she heard the crunch of leaves, while she stood alone and completely still, her head whipped to scan her surroundings.

No one, in sight. Y/n knew better than to not trust her intuition so she focused in on all of her senses, there was no smell of blood, no sound of a beating heart, no sight of anyone, no feeling other than of being watched and nothing to touch but her own cold skin.

It had to be a vampire, if anyone.

With an unease, she started on her walk back home. She knew she could face whoever it was and get it over within seconds. But when she reached home unharmed, she felt like she might've just been going insane since she was alone.

She felt insane a lot of the time that she was alone, so with frustration settling deep in her belly, she went over to the room that she had locked the entire oblivion in. The library room.

Most of the books were read there, but when Klaus returned from his entrepreneurial ventures, he always brought back with him some new ones that he just had an instinct she was going to love. And she did mostly end up loving the stories so much that it felt as if they’d claimed a part of her – she'd never tell that to Klaus though, since he might just destroy all literature in the mansion in order to keep her all to himself.

Her eyes glanced at the two stopped clocks in the room and she shook her head because of the reminder that they might as well be haunted since she can't get them to work right for more than two sunsets.

As she sank in the deep green sofa with a worn hardback in her lap, a deep melancholy took over her. Her body felt so weak to the bones that it could've decomposed right there on the expensive furniture.

Suddenly, her grandmother, dressed in all black appeared at the doorway of the room. Y/n thought she had closed the door behind her.

The old woman walked in like she was silently praying on a child in a game to catch her, and stopped right in front of Y/n whose eyes felt hooded and a little too heavy. She took her hand and dropped something from her fist into her open palm.

Y/n brought it back to see for herself, and a gurgling sound escaped from her throat. She choked back on her saliva as the word 'MONSTER' was beginning to slowly be engraved in her palm, the inscription cutting her skin so deep that she fell off the sofa in pain, gripping her hand tightly as she tried to escape, and ended up falling on her bed.

With heavy breaths wreaking havoc inside her lungs, Y/n wiped the cold sweat on her skin on the bed sheets as she turned to lie on Klaus' side of bed. Inhaling deeply, she kept her eyes shut while her entire body shook in tremors and her mind began to show her the flashes of her sweet, well cherished moments spent with her head tucked away in Klaus' chest.

She really wished she could have a drop of his blood, then. Saliva pooled on her tongue, but she swallowed thickly, not allowing herself even the thought of taking a sip from the bottle that he always left behind for her.

—--

It was the 18th century, and Y/n didn't know quite know how to feel when the Pope declared her species as fallacious fictions of humankind. She had sighed deeply, breathing out the tension in her frame as she prepared herself to live a life without chewing her fingers ever again – not because people had potentially known of Vampire's existence, but because she was too paranoid to not fear somehow getting wound up in the theories and be burned on the stake only for her ashes to be fed to some sick family man considered bitten by a vampire.

But she'd also felt her lifeless heart be struck by sadness upon the realisation that she might not ever be accepted by anyone apart from her own species -- who had the foul habit of keeping itself so secretive that Y/n began feeling lonely even in a room full of people.

Then the 19th century rolled around, arguably the worst time period for a human to be alive according to Y/n. She seemed to have a realisation that if this century was going to be associated with one thing, it would be diseases and deaths.

Everyone in the town was always sick and someone was dying each hour. The ones who weren't actively dying, were so obsessed with the notion of death they essentially manifested it in their fate.

Tired of the ongoing death streak, Y/n ran away to the English Countryside. But because she was too lonely and had too much of the torturous time on her hands, she began to despise the fact that she was never going to have the peace that came with death, with the end – ever.

Feeling like she was going to kill herself if she spent another fleeting second in her own company, she found herself back in the main city, preoccupying herself among the aristocrats.

Then years later, the last Vampire Scare occurred in the late 19th century. While people weren't quick to put labels, the town affairs spread in whispers sounding similar to the fluttering wings of a Goldfinch.

But then, when the horrors of Vampires finally bit the dust, being declared as nothing but a myth blew out the one final flicker of hope inside Y/n's chest that longed for connections where the humans would tell her about their history and their folklores themselves instead of her having to read their biassed books in which they painted a portrait using their best colours.

No matter how much she hated being a myth, Y/n loved reading stories about the blood-sucking Roman vampires, and the German Nachzehrer, who harmed the living through "sympathetic magic" from afar.

Y/n loved to debate with Klaus just like humans did with each other, upon who were the English Vampires most like -- The Romanians or The Germans. All because it seemed to be a hot topic among the historians, folklorists, theologists and who not, that like Romanians, New Englanders "were looking for liquid blood in the vital organs, not evidence of shroud chewing." The anti-vampire remedy of "cutting the heart out, burning it to ashes and feeding the ashes to the sick ones" was also something that was practiced in Romania.

But what quite disgusted Y/n was the fact that the sole reason humans even knew of Vampires was because they were brainless and attracted diseases like flowers honey bees during springtime; and also because they feared the said diseases and desired to have control over it in some way, or at least to feel like they did.

Since then, whenever a new resurgence of ‘Vampires are real’ rumours flowed, Y/n chose to ignore it. Because in the current day and age, the resurfacing of the supernatural was simply because of its glorification and romanticisation in the literature; and of course, just an human’s itch to dig into the past.

—--

The music echoed throughout the mansion as Y/n's fingers danced across the keys of the grand piano. There weren't any notes sitting on top for Y/n to read from, she was simply playing what she'd known and what was coming to her as she played.

Moonlight poured in through barred windows that stood on the grounds and touched the ceilings. Something in the back of her mind was telling her that someone was watching her, but she ignored the warning sign, tired of her hallucinations and tired of trying to decipher between what was real and what wasn't.

Her own mind playing tricks on her wasn't something she dealt with very well. It felt like a betrayal, by whom, she couldn't tell. But it was unfair, that not everyone had to constantly decipher their experiences as real or not.

In the moment, all she knew was that as long as the music was flowing and she was hitting the notes remarkably well, she and everything surrounding her was real. Though she'd been told that her playing could bring the dead back, she tried not to think about it.

Frustrated because of the nagging thought of having a watcher, Y/n wondered if the pressing of her fingers on the keys will ever not be soothing for her. Gradually, she felt something rushing within her, something taking over her senses as the sounds hit the tall walls and reverberated back into her ears with violent vibrations that she hated to feel – she felt overcome.

Her fingers started to move on their own, quickening the pace when she reached the beat drop and realised, the answer was yes.

She pulled herself back from the grand piano like it had electrocuted her. Wild eyes and frantic breathing, Y/n waited for the silence to settle and encapsulate her.

Standing up, she took hold of the candelabra that had been sitting on the top of the piano, and climbed up the stairs in the candle's unreliable, flickering light. There was no light in this part of the mansion, the moonlight didn't reach in the back and Y/n felt a breath down her spine as she opened the library room's door.

She didn't walk in right away though. She spared a wry glance to her right, at the other room’s door that was locked. It was night time and she didn't want to be flooded with the horrifying memories of her past that was withheld in that room. But still, the images of Klaus draining bodies in that very room flashed in front of her eyes – causing her to clench them shut and skip inside the library without a second thought.

Picking up the book she'd dropped on the floor earlier, she shut the door quietly and held the skirts of her dress in order to make a run towards the master bedroom. She felt safe in the company of the candle's flame that hadn't gone out in her hurry and she sat in her bed, no longer scared and no longer around; transported into a realm where she was a little human girl skidding through the forest wearing a red cloak, on the way to her grandmother's home when she comes across a sly wolf!

—--

Y/n was standing just outside the door, hiding behind the wall with a cloth to her mouth. Sobs threatened to leave her mouth similarly to how the tears were escaping her eyes, sliding down her cheeks and falling into pools on the ancient flooring.

Sounds of mouths biting into necks, tearing through skin and splintering bones echoed through the chambers. The halls of the mansion were built like those of Cathedrals, tall in order to make a sound boom and echo.

She clenched her eyes shut when another body fell to the ground, lifeless. Daring to peek inside despite her fragile heart, Y/n's mouth fell open as the scene unfolded in front of her.

Klaus was sitting on the one and only chair in the room, looking nothing less than a king sitting on his throne. In front of him, the rest of the hall was full of vampires – sucking on each other.

Some had bitten into another's wrist while they were being fed upon at their neck. Every single soulless body standing in the room had its teeth bared, looking for a life to take whilst theirs was already being drained away by one of their own.

"Faster!" Klaus roared and everyone began to draw blood from one another as if their life depended on it.

Which it did according to what Y/n heard next.

"Remember puppies, if you wish to live, you'll have to drain as many bodies as you can!" He spoke loudly, a wide malicious grin on his mouth.

Y/n sank low upon the grounds, frozen until her eyes met with one of the vampires.

A blood-curdling scream escaped her throat and Y/n felt like all of the blood was rushing to her head. She clutched it, lowering further into the ground in hopes of diminishing the pain but her vision began to fade instead.

She saw Klaus watching her, held for ransom by fate as Y/n fell to the ground, her last sight being of the vampires still feeding like they were at a feast.

When she woke up, Klaus was sitting at the foot of the bed. A book in his hands but not a word was he able to utter when she asked him what the book was about.

He shut it and tossed it across the bed, holding the bridge of his nose as Y/n looked at him through hooded eyes.

"I asked you of one thing," he began. "I asked you not to walk by the room until dusk."

His teeth were clenched, and Y/n could tell by the waver in his voice that he was trying with all of his might to not smash the furniture in the room.

She hoped that he would keep trying, that she wouldn't have to see the black in his eyes represent the devil rather than the peaceful oblivion she saw in them because she wanted to spend it with him.

"Then why, tell me love, were you there?"

"Don't talk to me like I'm a child," Y/n croaked out, stealing her gaze from him to look away.

"But what you did was childish!"

"And you were a monster!" Y/n shouted, now sitting up in the bed with her fists clenching the mattress.

Klaus stood still for a moment, then scoffed.

"I'm the monster?" He asked, his voice so light it sent a wave of regret through Y/n's chest.

"Klaus --"

"No, Y/n," Klaus swallowed, now pacing across the room. "They tried to steal you from me and I'm the one being called the monster for doing to them little of what they deserve for the horror they put you through."

"Klaus, you didn't need to take the blood on your hands. I would've taken my revenge, and you know that," Y/n said.

"Alright then. Fair enough," nodding, Klaus came to a halt. "Let's put it this way – I took my revenge because I love you and I thought I lost you. That thought pained me to the point of no comparison so I took my revenge," he shrugged.

"If you desire, you can take your revenge. I'm sure they are still alive with the speed that they seemed to have lost," Klaus gestured back towards the room.

Y/n clenched her eyes shut. "Lock the room, Klaus," she asked him.

With a faint nod of acceptance, Klaus locked the door to the room where most of the vampires had fallen to the floor, dead. The last ones sucking raced when they saw Klaus and fell to the floor with a thump once the last drop of blood was drunk from their bodies.

Drawing the doors shut, Klaus put a humongous lock on the door and took a step back. He knew what Y/n was going to ask of him when he 'd return, so with a final breath, Klaus decided that among those vampires, Klaus had also locked his own demons inside.

Y/n's head rose when she saw him stroll back into the master bedroom.

"Promise me that you'll never take a life ever again," she whispered.

Klaus nodded, looking into her eyes with honesty so bright it could've blinded her.

"And if you do, do it after you take mine," Y/n spoke stiffly. "Or I'll take yours."

Klaus dropped to his knees beside her side of the bed to hold her hand.

"You have my word," he spoke hoarsely, leaning in just enough that Y/n had to come the rest of the way to meet his mouth.

"I love you," she whispered against his mouth. "I cannot lose you to your demons."

"I love you, too,” Klaus said, stopping when his voice wavered. “And you know that you are my only reason," he smiled, letting her push him back on the bed.

—--

Y/n woke up with excitement fluttering through her entire being. It was brighter than the previous day, she noticed. But all of the mist was still sitting around so Y/n drew her curtains apart and opened the windows.

The cold wind carried with it the smell of pomegranate flowers, making Y/n smile.

Squaring her shoulders, she looked into the void outside, wishing Klaus was beside her to experience the beauty of dragonflies dancing around on top of the flowers sprinkled throughout the fields.

Orange and red scenery was not unmet by her eyes when she squinted. A lot of the trees had turned now, and Y/n wondered why they decided to turn just a little earlier than usual.

She wrapped herself in her robe and walked throughout the house, opening all the windows and drawing curtains to let the light pour in. She felt calm, especially since the past couple of days had been extraordinarily troublesome for her.

Back in her library room, Y/n picked up the neat letter that had been sitting on her desk. It was the letter of the ball invitation sent via the Salvatore Sons, and Y/n was more than giddy to finally meet Klaus there.

Most humble citizens of the realm, You are hereby requested to attend a masquerade ball in honour of the thirtieth marriage anniversary of our dearest Lilian Salvatore and Guiseppe Salvatore, the radiant couple -- also respected members of the founder's council of Mystic Falls. Costumes and masks will be strictly required for entry, and each couple must bring a gift. This sophisticated affair will be a tantalising and stylish celebration with a feast, dancing and competitions. You all will delight in the wondrous, safe atmosphere of Castle Harrowgate. The gates of Castle Harrowgate shall be opened at first dusk in two days' time, and you are expected to be punctual. Dictated but not read Damon and Stefan Salvatore.

While Y/n wasn't one for gatherings, she could appreciate a ball every once in a while. She felt a bit of dread pooling inside of her at the thought of meeting the Salvatores, who had known of her and Klaus while she hadn't known of their mere existence.

Still, she walked across the mansion and picked some flowers the whole morning. In the afternoon, she wrote a poem and read some chapters of her current read that was of her beloved genre, gothic horror.

Once the sun had begun getting tired, though, Y/n slipped into her room and sat in front of her vanity. It still felt a little foreign to her, she wouldn't lie. That doesn't mean she didn't find it infinitely convenient.

She applied rose water on her face first and then rubbed some cream on the skin in order to make her skin look just a little more alive than a corpse's. It brought a certain shine to her face, she thought.

Then she dabbed some light coloured starch on her face in order to even out her complexion, though she didn't quite need to. She was simply following a makeup routine she had learnt from a lady while she had been out in the towns a few months ago, when the sun was overhead and blinding.

She smiled a little tightly as she put some maroon powder on the top of her cheeks, making her look like she had a heart and blood circulation under her skin. Smiling genuinely at her reflection in the mirror, she looked away just before she could begin to point out her flaws.

Lastly, she dabbed some lip tint on her mouth in a way that made her lips look bitten rather than painted.

Tying her own corset for her dress was troublesome enough that she had broken a sweat whilst she'd been at it. Patting cotton all over her face in annoyance, she fixed the ruffles of her dress for the last time.

The colour of the dress was similar to that of the darkest emerald out there, and upon it were drawn complex patterns in all shades of green that went best with the gown's colour.

She had her hair in a low bun sitting on the nape of her neck, the lowest of her hair strands falling out into coils just a couple inches lower. A flowery crown sat on top of her bun like a crown made out of golden oak leaves, the crystals reflecting the sunlight all over the room.

Anxious that she was likely forgetting something, she took hold of her purse and carried in her other hand the gift she had chosen to give – a thick and rich blanket, along with other trinklets and fruits and nuts. She'd also added a tobacco pouch or two in there.

She rushed out of the mansion and sped to the main street, where she accepted herself in a carriage. Once she was sat, she took a deep breath.

Although gradually she realised that the cold sweat she'd broken earlier wasn't because she had been racing around.

It was because subconsciously, she felt like there was a stone sitting inside her chest, one other than her heart. It was heavy, and sharp too. Something was going to go wrong, her guts screamed. She had an instinct that she was going to die that evening, but she ignored all and focused on the dying scenery around her as the carriage raced further.

It was a masquerade ball, surely she'd be able to fool death if it happened to be there as well. 

When the carriage turned into a lane, and Y/n saw the mansion; a shiver ran down her spine. It was eerily quiet there, no one in sight and no sounds of a gathering filling the atmosphere.

The castle’s walls stood tall, with tinted windows. It looked like a secretive fortress, with its additional dark towers and iron gates.The sun light didn’t reach the estate very well, and it was all shades of dark – with not even a barren tree in its circumference. 

Had she come too early, she wondered and checked her pocket watch. She was just a few minutes late, actually. Maybe people weren't so punctual anymore, she shouted back at her alarmed instincts.

She looked up at the sky which was darkening as the sun was setting. But it was full of heavy clouds drifting slowly, waiting for the right time to bring hell on land.

In the time that she came face to face with the castle, she tried to focus on her hearing. But she couldn't hear any heartbeats, nor any quietened gossip floating around. It was more silent than Y/n had noticed it was underwater during the summer.

Clutching her shawl in clenched fists, she stepped off the carriage. Handing the man a couple pennies and thanking him, she waited as he backed away until out of the sight.

Then she finally turned her gaze onto the Castle Harrowgate, and as she began to feel like it was all a trap, she realised that might as well already be in one.

Klaus had told her that he would meet her by the time the ball would start, to accompany her for the dance since he couldn't imagine sharing with another man the pleasure of dancing with his wife. And upon checking the watch once again, Y/n remembered that the gates must have been opened about half an hour ago.

So, to see no footprints outside the muddy path covered with cobblestones stood out to her. She squinted her eyes, unsure if she'd be able to make a run for it now.

Y/n was better than that though, she could fight an army of vampires if she wanted to with her original strength. But to be wearing a gown and heels, with a gift bag in one hand and a purse in the other, Y/n wasn't sure if she wanted to get blood sprayed all over herself.

Sensing eyes on her, she searched the windows to see even a shadow. But there was none. It was the same feeling as the one she'd gotten when she'd been in the forest a couple days prior, feeling like she was being preyed upon.

She gulped dryly, praying to a god she didn't believe existed that the cowards behind this plan would be willing to talk this through. She didn't wish to be anyone's death, nor did she wish to die herself. She did, occasionally, but now as she felt like death was breathing down her neck, she felt like taking another sip of life before going to bed.

As she walked further and crossed the threshold of the castle, she felt wind move behind her before she could've seen past the open gates.

She screamed but a hand was covering her mouth and as she tried to remind herself that she was a vampire and didn't need to be frightened, her vision began to fade inwards until she could see nothing but the death's cousin – that is sleep.

When she gained back her senses again, she knew that she was in a lot of trouble. She still couldn't see, but she could smell the vampires who had probably noticed her consciousness by now. She could hear them bickering that had come to a sudden halt. She could feel someone standing right beside her in a second and she could touch the chains that she'd been tied up with.

It was raining heavily outside, probably so angrily that it would feel like there were millions of needles being dropped on your skin, all at once, if one happened to be out in it. 

Her arms were stinging since they'd been tied up on the two sides. She was on her knees, bent over because of weakness. At least she hoped that's what they thought she felt. Her hair was falling on her face and over her shoulder – how had it slipped out of a tight bun, she wondered and came to the conclusion that it must have happened when she'd struggled against the man's chest while he'd had her in a chokehold with vervain held right over her nose.

Had she been in his place, she'd have burned the skin off the captive's face. She smiled at the kindness these people had shown her.

"Glad you'll finally be put out of the misery of living your immortal life?" Someone spoke from across the room, a man. Likely middle aged, she assumed.

"Glad to finally meet you, Guiseppe," Y/n smirked when the man's breathing stuttered just a bit. "Though I wish it hadn't been this way."

"A lovely mouth you've got with a lovely face," said a younger voice. "Too bad that all the fortune would go to waste."

Y/n chuckled, then choked because of the dryness in her throat. "Mark my words when I say that this will be the very mouth that'll rip your throat out, Salvatore" she shrugged, unsure whether it was Stefan or Damon that she was talking to.

"C'mon, you can't possibly be delusional enough to hope you're going to get out of this one!" Said the same voice, quietened by a clearing of the throat.

The window shutters were rattling, and a couple of animals were howling outside. 

"Damon, bring a chair for me, will you?" Said Guiseppe.

Y/n laughed at that; her head was thrown back. "Since when do you care so much that your child might witness a murder?"

"Oh, trust me hon, death doesn't even bother me no more," Damon joked and Y/n grinned. It would be a petty to shut that humourous mouth forever six feet deep into the ground.

"Damon, go," said a handsome voice.

It was silent for a moment and all of Y/n's senses were working relentlessly. But the most she could hear was the ongoing storm outside, thunder rolling like death was on its own carriage, coming down to take Y/n with it.

The thought of whether she had served her purpose in her life was fleeting. But then she began to ponder, if only humans were allowed to deal with existentialism, and whether it was satirical for her to even be thinking that she might just have a meaning to her life.

But then she drifted off to think of her immortality. All her life, she'd never dared to ponder over it – afraid she might begin to have the urge to kill herself. Had she made anything out of having a life that'd never end?

Did she need to do that? Did she really need a reason or a purpose to live? Or since being an immortal, she had to pay the loan by giving this world her all?

But before she could start to lose her mind, she was snapped back to reality.

“I only saw you from the back, in the forest and from outside your mansion,” said the same handsome voice before he chuckled. Y/n’s breathing came to halt – she had been right.

“But sweetheart, you seem like the devil carved you himself – so dangerously beautiful,” he whispered under his breath. 

When Y/n didn’t say anything, wanting for him to continue admitting all that he’d done, the young one laughed. 

"We aren't going to kill you, by the way,” said he who Y/n was beginning to assume was Stefan.

"Too bad that I will, once I'm out of these shackles."

Y/n genuinely was disappointed. She wanted to cry because she hadn't even thought about this possibly being a trap, and she hated herself for it. And she also hated the fact that these people found it so entertaining, the way they'd played her.

Feeling pathetic, she manipulated herself to turn her sadness into ferocious rage. She couldn't let these men take advantage of her.

Someone laughed, and Y/n smiled. She wanted them to believe that she couldn't help herself out of the chains.

"We just want Klaus," Damon said as if he was bored out of his wits. "You see, he loves you. Surely, he'll trace you here. Then we'll capture him, toy with him, kill him and ponder what to do with your beauty."

Y/n wasn't feeling too sarcastic anymore. She wanted to skin these men alive and hang them upside down to be eaten alive by the crows. But she contained herself with a deep breath.

"You've seen so much of my beauty, it'll only be fair if I got to see yours," she proposed and waited in silence as someone walked over and removed the blindfold from her face.

Squinting, she saw Guiseppe, who looked like he wanted to kill himself. Then she saw Damon, who looked exactly like he talked and Stefan, who was as handsome as his smooth voice.

"Handsome, you two," she nodded at the younger men. "Surely you've got your looks from your stunning mother," she added.

Damon snickered and Stefan glared at him.

"You know, since Klaus met you, his heart has clearly grown quite faint. And we have been sitting, bored, for too long now. It would be nice to have somethings stirred up, yea?"

Y/n shivered as the dark room lit up when lightning stroked the sky.

"Oh, you don't play games with the wily devil," she cautioned, lowering her voice just to exaggerate although everyone in the room was on edge, knowing she'd spoken nothing if not the utter truth.

"Too late to back out now, though," a glowering voice came from right outside the locked doors of what Y/n could only assume was a dungeon or a chamber of some sort.

She grinned, quickly scanning the three men's faces to relish in their fear. Damon's sharp eyes were now wide open, waiting for his death to come any second now. Stefan was standing in a stance, ready to fight although he knew he didn't stand a chance.

And Guiseppe had broken cold sweat, his breathing was so heavy Y/n almost missed the erratic beating of his heart.

Klaus was here, she could imagine him standing behind the door solely for the suspense, fully capable of breaking down the door into shambles.

He kicked once, and the doors came falling inwards, Damon stepping back just in time for the wood to splinter on the floor in front of him.

When Y/n's eyes met with Klaus', she urged him to turn around. But then she flinched when Klaus missed her indication and was hit by a vase on the nape of his neck.

He fell to the ground. crouching for only a second before he'd disappeared.

The three men searched frantically, turning and twisting in distress.

Y/n saw him racing towards her and she opened her arms, letting him carry her. He situated her on the floor above, behind the railings.

“Are you alright?” He asked frantically, searching her over for any signs of injuries. But Y/n cupped his face and kissed him, reassuring him that she wasn’t wounded.

"Don't look," he asked of her earnestly, knowing the effect it could potentially have on her later on. "For me," he breathed.

Y/n pecked his mouth, then. Resting her lips on his until there was only Klaus' scent in front of her instead of him. She stumbled back and slid down a wall, sitting down and burrowing her head in her knees.

"Prepare your riffles!" Guiseppe shouted at the group of men filling the room urgently.

Guns were cocked and sat on men's shoulders, their fingers on the triggers, ready to shoot to kill.

"Where's --" Albert was cut off by a gust of air, during which he disappeared. He was one of the men, the most determined of them all and still the one with the most thirst for life.

Damon turned and saw for himself the chains to which he had tied Y/n, now lying on the grounds, wrapped around Albert's throat. His eyes were wide open, not a sparkle of life left in them.

Swallowing, Damon knocked his elbow into Stefan's ribs. When he hissed in response, Damon shut him up by pointing towards the dead body.

Both of the boys were now looking towards their father with the same hatred they glared at him with every day. He was going to be the reason behind their deaths. They thought of fleeing at the same point, unaware of each other's notions but both were too full of pride to die a coward.

They knew that if they ran, they had a higher chance of dying.

It was silent again, the only sounds in the room being rapidly beating hearts being interrupted by the rolling thunder outside.

Someone pulled the trigger, and when everyone saw, the bullet had passed through the middle of his own forehead. It was Frank, the one who had come to fight quite reluctantly.

Many men were thinking of fleeing now.

"You didn't tell us that the vampires could do this!" Bert gritted near Guiseppe's ear. He was now hopeless for he was never going to get to take walks near his favourite lake ever again.

"You'll be more responsible for our deaths than these goddamn monsters," shouted young James from across the room. He has just gotten married and wanted to have children, raise them up to be as strong as their mother.

Guiseppe was getting more and more frantic now, he could see his death waiting around the corner for him. The sweat rolling down his back was too cold, and his heart felt like it was going to burst inside of his chest.

Nothing was going how he had planned it.

James also disappeared then, and upon noise, everyone saw that his body was hanging off the humongous chandelier, the blood from the open wound on his neck dripping down on men's faces and on the floor. The sound of the blood pooling was ringing in everyone's ears and they all moved out of the way quickly, wiping off the blood on them with the cuffs of their shirts.

Metallic scent of the blood was beginning to suffocate everyone. Choking sounds were heard before William was thrown to a wall, also dead. He was a master at playing cards.

"Run everyone and set the room on fire!" Shouted Bert, but then his head was smashed off his shoulders and his body was swaying around, before it fell to the ground, writhing a little more before going still.

Now only Damon, Stefan and Guiseppe were left alive in the room. The two younger ones looked at each of the lifeless bodies, then at each other.

"God, I want to kill you two before they get a chance!" Guiseppe roared and bent to steal the gun from Bert's hands.,

But before he could pull the trigger, his head was pulled back and a knife sliced his throat.

The two boys howled in agony and covered their faces when Guiseppe's blood sprayed all over them.

When nothing more happened, they opened their eyes and saw Y/n still holding onto their father, the knife still in her bloodied hands.

Dropping the body then, Y/n looked at them regretfully.

She had to come out since Klaus had to take a second to keep his wolf at bay and the old twat was going to shoot his sons. She didn't mind witnessing the three men's deaths at all though. Surely, they must've prepared themselves for it when they'd been planning the entire betrayal.

"Sorry you had to see that," she muttered, stealing her gaze from their horrified ones. Or maybe from Klaus' eyes that shone golden from where he was standing right behind their backs.

She knew the two brothers' fates before they could've even battled whether to try and negotiate a deal or not.

One of the chains which she had been tied to earlier, was wrapped around Klaus' fist.

In the blink of her eyes, both of the brothers had begun choking. The same chain wrapped around their throats; their backs pressed together. If one tried to pull the chain away from their neck, the other brother would choke to death.

Damon was coughing out his spare breaths, panic widening his eyes so much that Y/n feared they might pop out of their sockets. His mouth was beginning to lose colour just like his skin. Still, there was the beg for another chance reddening his eyes, but Y/n switched her gaze onto Stefan.

He was wheezing heavily, his throat making loud creaky noises that Y/n, unfortunately, could recognise anywhere, at any time. He was dying faster than Damon, and his eyes were set on hers when they stopped moving.

As his body began to fall forward, the chain around Damon's neck tightened so tightly that his tongue protruded out of his mouth, eyes staring into the void, lifeless.

Y/n took a shuddering breath, then looked at Klaus.

"I'm sorry you had to do this," she whispered, crossing over the two dead bodies to cup his face.

It had been hard to have him feel solace with his existence without having the urge to kill. Almost like trying to get him clean off of a drug addiction.

This had been a relapse, then. And Y/n's stone-cold heart was trembling inside her chest in fear of losing him to the coping addiction again.

But then the golden rim of an eclipse melted like honey into the moss of his eyes, and they crinkled at the corners. He leaned in and rested his forehead on hers.

"This did not happen because of you, remember that," he whispered. "I needed to do this, or I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."

Y/n nodded solemnly. A tear rolled down her cheek.

"I love you," she sobbed, her body shaking as she pushed herself further into Klaus' chest, wanting to hide away from all that was surrounding her. "You are the remedy of all things."

"Always and forever, my love," Klaus smiled, wrapping his arms around her.

"Let's go home," he muttered into her hair and bent down to pick her up like he had on their wedding day.

"No carriages, since the driver will surely take us to the authorities upon seeing us doused in blood and have not a single wound at the same time," he grinned, laughing when she hit his chest.

"I was really excited for this ball," Y/n sighed. "I wish it didn't have to be this way."

"Me too, love," Klaus said, preparing to race through the small town along with the clear wind.

"But it was evanescent, wasn't it? This rage, this murderous urge – it was fleeting?" Y/n asked nervously, hopefully.

Klaus nodded faintly. "I'm offended you'd think I have such low control," he teased, and Y/n breathed a sigh of relief. “My love, this thirst has gone as quickly as it’d come,” he reassured her. 

"Didn't want to kill again but I'm guessing it was for the better, since no one would dare to forget about what the hybrid is capable of for a long time now," smirking, Klaus looked around at the mess he'd made.

“Now let’s go back home,” he smiled and Y/n’s eyes watered as she nodded. 

When Klaus had suspected foul play, he'd felt vontade; a strong desire to do something. So powerful had been his inner drive to remind everyone of his terror that he couldn't have helped himself. The thought of losing Y/n had been petrifying enough.

So, he kicked someone's decapitated head out of his way and strolled outside, already annoyed upon the realisation that in the morning, he’d have to hear about the harrowing news of the horrors found inside the Castle Harrowgate. 

[minhosbitterriver]

🌧️ 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍-𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 ( stray kids )

❛ On a rainy evening, a deepening connection unfolds between you and Hyunjin as you explore your newfound intimacy in the cozy sanctuary of your studio apartment. Amidst clumsy yet heartfelt moments, your bond blossoms into a magical dance of tenderness and desire, celebrated under the gentle rhythm of the falling rain.

𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧 + female reader ೯ ( 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 )

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.5k ��𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞: 18 mins

꒰ 💌 ꒱ ミ This piece was requested a little bit ago by my lovely 🌪️ Anon! I genuinely loved working on this purely for the awkwardness between Y/N and Hyunjin. I just feel like this is something that is not talked about enough, especially within the writing community. It's completely normal to be a bit clumsy and/or awkward the first time you have sex with someone — it doesn't mean that you or your partner is a virgin or is bad at it! Everyone's tastes when it comes to this is different so it might take a second to figure your partner out! And that's totally okay! Alright, anyway, requests are currently open! I hope you guys enjoy, reblogs and feedback are much appreciated! ── ( 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 )

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: MDNI, established relationship, it's first time Hyunjin fingers you, neither of you are virgins, it's awkward and a little clumsy at the beginning, very fluffy, please let me know if I missed anything!

( 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ) ( 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 & 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ) ( 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 )

꒰ 🫙 ꒱ ミ Tip Jar!

It had been a Saturday to remember, one that etched itself into the tapestry of your memories, marked by the presence of Hyunjin. His charismatic charm had woven itself through your days for the past month, casting a spell of enchantment that lingered in the air. Though the span of time you had spent together might appear fleeting in the grand scheme of things, it felt as if you had experienced an entire lifetime’s worth of moments within those precious weeks.

Each shared glance carried the weight of a thousand unspoken words, creating a silent dialogue that only the two of you understood. Every burst of laughter echoed like a melody, resonating with joy and warmth that filled the spaces between you. The conversations you shared, whether deep and contemplative or light and whimsical, wove a rich tapestry of connection that seemed to transcend the mere passage of days.

It was as though time itself had bent and stretched to accommodate the depth of your interactions. The moments you spent together, whether walking hand in hand through sun-dappled streets or sharing quiet, emotionally intimate evenings under a canopy of stars, left you with the impression that you had journeyed through countless experiences together in just a short while. The intensity of your bond created a sense of timelessness, making each day feel like a chapter in a beautifully unfolding story.

The day dawned under the crisp, invigorating light of morning, painting the world in hues of possibility. Hyunjin stood eagerly by your front door, his eyes sparkling with anticipation and a smile that promised adventure. The air was charged with the excitement of a day uncharted, a journey waiting to unfold as you both boarded the train bound for the newly opened museum.

As the train carried you toward your destination, a sense of exhilaration grew, mingling with the rhythmic clatter of the tracks. The cityscape blurred past, a fleeting backdrop to the conversation and laughter that filled the space between you. Upon arrival, the museum revealed itself as a grand sanctuary of artistry and history, its towering facade inviting you into a world where time seemed to stand still.

Stepping inside, you were enveloped by the cool, hushed atmosphere of the museum, a place where every corner promised discovery. The labyrinthine halls stretched out before you, each exhibit unfolding like a new chapter in your shared journey. Vibrant paintings, intricate sculptures, and ancient artifacts beckoned you closer, igniting lively discussions and thoughtful reflections. With every step, you meandered through galleries side by side, your connection deepening as you shared insights and marvels.

The experience felt timeless, an effortless immersion into a realm of creativity and wonder. You lost yourselves in the stories etched into each piece, the artistry that transcended the mundane and spoke directly to your souls. The hours slipped by unnoticed, each moment adding a brushstroke to the canvas of your day, painting a picture of shared exploration and discovery. In that museum, amidst the echoes of history and the whispers of creativity, you found not only a deeper understanding of the world but also of each other.

After immersing yourselves in the museum's artistic treasures, you both boarded the train once more, the thrill of the day still crackling in the air between you. The rhythmic clatter of the tracks beneath you seemed to echo the excitement of the adventure that awaited. Your destination was your favorite restaurant, a cherished haven where comfort and familiarity wove seamlessly into the fabric of its ambiance.

Upon arrival, the restaurant greeted you with its warm, inviting glow. Soft light spilled from hanging fixtures, casting a gentle radiance over the rustic wooden tables and cushioned chairs. The scent of savory dishes wafted through the air, mingling with the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee and baked bread. As you settled into your seats, the meal became more than just sustenance; it transformed into a canvas for laughter and playful banter.

Each dish that arrived at your table seemed to serve as a catalyst for shared stories and inside jokes. The vibrant colors of the food mirrored the lively exchange between you, as conversations flowed effortlessly alongside bites of deliciously crafted dishes. The restaurant’s lively bustle provided a vibrant backdrop, its hum of chatter and clinking of cutlery blending into the symphony of your shared experience.

The meal, rich with flavor and affection, was more than a mere dining experience; it was an extension of the day's joy and companionship. With each course, you both found yourselves drawn closer, the savory dishes a tangible reflection of the deepening bond between you. As you enjoyed each bite, the connection you had forged earlier in the museum seemed to be solidified, the warmth of the food and the ambiance merging to create a perfect continuation of the day's adventures.

Adjacent to the restaurant stood a quaint psychic shop, its sign casting a gentle, ethereal glow that beckoned with an almost magnetic allure. The delicate, swirling script on the sign seemed to whisper promises of mysteries and hidden truths, igniting a spark of curiosity within both of you. Driven by a shared sense of adventure and intrigue, you decided to venture inside, stepping into a world that seemed to hold its breath in anticipation.

The interior of the shop was a treasure trove of curiosities. Dimly lit by the soft flicker of candlelight, the space was adorned with richly embroidered tapestries and shelves brimming with intriguing artifacts. The air was tinged with the heady fragrance of incense, mingling with the faint aroma of old parchment and aromatic herbs. In the center of this enigmatic realm sat the psychic, her presence as compelling as the surroundings.

Her gaze was shrouded in an enigmatic aura as she performed the reading, her eyes glimmering with an inscrutable wisdom. As she declared with a knowing smile that you and Hyunjin were soulmates, her words seemed to reverberate with an almost palpable magic. The statement hung in the air like a delicate thread, weaving itself into the fabric of your shared experience.

The psychic’s cryptic smile was met with a blend of surprise and shyness on your faces. A soft blush crept across both your cheeks, accentuating the nervous laughter that bubbled up between you. Each of you cast furtive glances away, caught between a fluttering sense of embarrassment and an exhilarating hint of delight. The moment felt like a secret dance, a playful intimacy that hung between you, adding a layer of enchantment to the day. The encounter at the psychic shop became a cherished memory, a touch of magic that lingered like a sweet aftertaste, enriching the tapestry of your shared adventure.

As the evening unfurled, you both returned to the serene sanctuary of your cozy studio apartment. The tranquility of the space embraced you like a warm hug, with the soft, rhythmic purring of your cat—curled contentedly on the nightstand—embodying the essence of home’s simple pleasures. The room was gently illuminated by the soft, golden glow of the lamp, casting a soothing radiance that seemed to enhance the peaceful ambiance.

In this haven of calm, you set about preparing warm tea for both of you. The aroma of the brewing tea leaves mingled with the subtle scent of the evening, creating an olfactory embrace that complemented the warmth of the space. As you poured the steaming liquid into delicate cups, the gentle clinking of porcelain was a soft, melodious counterpoint to the quietude surrounding you.

The conversation that followed was a tender and intimate exchange, your voices barely rising above hushed whispers as you both savored the serene atmosphere of the moment. Each word shared was like a caress, adding to the richness of your connection. Cradling your tea cups in your hands, you both reveled in a profound sense of contentment, the day’s adventures seamlessly blending into the gentle comfort of your shared refuge.

The evening unfolded as a quiet yet significant culmination of laughter, connection, and deepening bonds. The day’s escapades, full of vivid experiences and cherished moments, seemed to melt into the soft, welcoming embrace of your studio. This tranquil conclusion transformed the day into a cherished memory, a treasured chapter that would linger tenderly in your hearts.

As the night wore on, the rain began to fall in a steady, soothing rhythm, each droplet creating a symphony of tranquility against the windows. The gentle patter of the rain became a serene backdrop to the evening's unfolding events, wrapping your world in a cocoon of calm. Within the comforting familiarity of your bedroom, the atmosphere was imbued with a sense of warmth and intimacy.

You extended an invitation to Hyunjin, offering him a place beside you on the bed, a gesture that had become second nature over the short time you’ve been together. Yet tonight carried a different energy, a palpable shift that neither of you could ignore—evident in the way Hyunjin’s heavy eyes followed your every move. The ambiance was charged with an emerging affection, an electric undercurrent that seemed to hum softly in the space between you.

Each fleeting glance you shared was laden with unspoken emotions, eyes conveying what words could not. The subtle brush of skin against skin felt like sparks igniting a fire, each touch leaving a trail of warmth in its wake. Your quiet conversations, spoken in hushed tones, wove a delicate tapestry of words and sentiments, each one deepening the connection you felt.

In the stillness of your home, every moment seemed to heighten the sense of anticipation. The rain's gentle cadence matched the rhythm of your hearts, beating in sync as if to the same unspoken melody. The space between you felt charged, a magnetic pull drawing you closer to a deeper intimacy that was steadily approaching, its arrival inevitable and eagerly awaited.

The night continued to unfold in this gentle yet intense dance of emotions, the rain outside acting as a serenade to your evolving bond while you prepared your bed for the night. Each moment spent together was a testament to the growing affection that had blossomed between you, transforming the ordinary into something exquisitely profound. In that cozy sanctuary, under the spell of the night and the rain, you both felt the irresistible pull toward a connection that promised to be as enduring as the rhythmic rain itself.

The tension between you both thickened as you handed him a t-shirt he had intentionally left behind during a previous visit. The fabric of the shirt, worn soft and familiar, passed from your hands to his with a weight that seemed to carry unspoken significance. As soon as he grasped the shirt, a spark of unspoken urgency ignited between you. His lips met yours with a fervor that had been quietly simmering throughout the day, an electric connection that surged with the intensity of all the emotions you had harbored.

The kiss was a profound mingling of longing and desire, a tangible culmination of the feelings that had been building in the quiet spaces between you. It was as if the very essence of the day’s shared moments converged in this single, impassioned exchange. 

Even amidst this deep connection, an endearing awkwardness lingered in the air. As you both clumsily undressed each other, your movements were hesitant and unpracticed, yet brimming with sincerity. Nervous laughter bubbled up between you, a symphony of shared amusement that softened the intensity of the moment. Your hands fumbled gently, each touch a mix of tender care and uncoordinated eagerness, creating a dance of intimacy that was both innocent and heartfelt.

Your gaze remained locked on his dazed eyes, the unspoken emotions between you speaking volumes. Every brush of your fingers, every accidental graze, was charged with a sense of wonder and discovery. The garments fell away piece by piece, leaving you both in only your underwear, vulnerable and exposed yet completely at ease in each other's presence.

The path to the bed was a journey marked by stumbles and shared glances. Each step was a testament to the raw and unrefined nature of your intimacy, a beautiful reminder of the genuine connection you were forging. The nervous energy between you added a layer of charm to the moment, making each interaction feel even more precious.

As you finally reached the bed, the clumsy yet heartfelt nature of your movements only served to deepen the bond you were creating. The tender moments of hesitation and the bursts of laughter wove together, forming a tapestry of intimacy that was uniquely your own. In the gentle embrace of the night, surrounded by the quiet rhythm of your shared breaths, you both discovered a profound sense of closeness that transcended the physical, creating a memory that would linger long after the night had ended.

This clumsy yet heartfelt interaction only added to the night's charm, weaving an intricate tapestry of shared experience. Every hesitant touch, each nervous laugh, became a delicate thread, binding you closer together. As he settled between your legs, the intimacy of the moment deepened, turning every interaction into a genuine and endearing part of your growing bond.

A breathy moan escapes your lips as Hyunjin's kisses trace a delicate path along your jaw, each touch igniting a spark of electricity. When he reaches the sensitive spot just below your ear, a shiver runs through you, heightening your senses. This reaction seemed to bolster his confidence, and with gentle yet assertive hands, he guided you to lay back on the bed.

As you sink into the soft embrace of the mattress, his mouth works its magic, sending waves of pleasure rippling through your body. Each kiss, each caress is a jolt of pure electricity, making your heart race and your breath hitch. The intensity of his touch leaves you yearning for more, each moment an exquisite blend of anticipation and ecstasy.

Your arms instinctively wrap around his neck, pulling him closer, craving the warmth and intimacy of his presence. As he continues his descent, his mouth finds your hardened nipples, drawing a gasp from your lips. The sensation is overwhelming, a perfect symphony of pleasure that leaves you arching your back, pressing yourself against him.

In this intimate dance, every movement feels deliberate and profound, each touch a testament to the deep connection you share. The room around you fades into obscurity, leaving only the two of you in a world of your own creation, where time stands still and nothing exists except the intoxicating rhythm of your bodies entwined.

His kisses, like whispers of fire, trail across your skin, igniting every nerve ending with a burning desire. The magic of his mouth, the gentle yet insistent way he explores your body, leaves you trembling with need. Every breathy moan, every gasp of pleasure, becomes a part of this beautiful symphony, resonating in the quiet sanctuary of your shared space.

Your hands find the courage to wander, fingers trembling with anticipation as they begin their exploration. Every touch is an act of reverence, a slow and deliberate journey to memorize the curves and contours of his lean body. The warmth of his skin under your fingertips sends shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you.

As your hands glide over his torso, you savor the feeling of his defined muscles, each movement a tactile symphony. Your fingertips dance over his chest, tracing the lines of his pecs before drifting down to his abs. The rhythmic rise and fall of his breath beneath your touch is mesmerizing, drawing you deeper into the intimate connection you share.

When your hands finally reach his abs, you slow your pace, allowing yourself to fully appreciate the sculpted firmness beneath your palms. The tension in his muscles, the way they contract and relax with each breath, is a testament to his strength and beauty. Your touch becomes more deliberate, a silent communication of desire and admiration.

As you move lower, your fingers find his hardened core, and a breathy groan escapes his lips. The sound is intoxicating, a blend of need and pleasure that fuels your own arousal. He pushes his hips into your hand eagerly, a wordless plea for more, and you can't help but chuckle lightly at his neediness. There's something incredibly endearing about the way he responds to your touch, a vulnerability that makes him even more irresistible.

His groan resonates in the quiet room, mingling with the rhythm of your shared breaths. The intensity of his reaction sends a thrill through you, a heady mix of power and tenderness. As your hand continues to caress him, you revel in the connection between you, the unspoken language of touch and desire that binds you together.

The moment stretches into eternity, every touch, every sound, deepening the bond you share. The intimacy of your exploration, the way your hands map the landscape of his body, becomes a testament to the growing love between you. In this private sanctuary, you find a profound sense of fulfillment, a beautiful merging of souls that transcends the physical and touches the very essence of your being.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been waiting for so long to have this moment with you,” Hyunjin murmurs, his voice a soft whisper against the backdrop of your shared breath. His words hang in the air, delicate and poignant, carrying the weight of anticipation and longing. You can see the depth of his emotions reflected in his eyes, a swirling sea of vulnerability and desire that makes your heart ache with a tender ache. The sincerity in his voice, the quiet urgency, speaks volumes about the unspoken yearning that has built up between you.

His words touched you deeply, a wave of emotion washing over you as you absorbed the sincerity in his voice. With a soft, reassuring smile, your hands left his already leaking length, the warmth of his arousal lingering on your fingertips. You reached up, fingers threading through his long, silken hair, feeling its softness and reveling in the intimacy of the gesture.

"Don’t ever apologize, Hyune," you whispered, your voice filled with affection and reassurance. "You’re being wonderful."

Your fingers continued their gentle journey through his hair, each stroke a tender caress that seemed to convey all the emotions you felt. His hair, smooth and luxurious, slipped through your fingers like strands of midnight silk, and you marveled at the way it framed his face, accentuating the depth of his eyes and the curve of his lips.

The two of you lingered in a realm of shared kisses, each one deepening the connection that pulsed between you. What began as gentle explorations quickly evolved into a deliciously messy entanglement of lips and tongues, leaving both of you breathless. Droplets of shared saliva glistened on your mouths, a testament to the fervor with which you embraced each other. Every time your needy cores met, grinding against the thin barrier of fabric that still separated you, a gasp escaped your lips, mingling with his in a symphony of desire.

The friction, though clothed, was a tantalizing prelude to the ecstasy that awaited, a mere glimpse of the pleasure that loomed on the horizon. Each grind, each press of your bodies, sent waves of adrenaline coursing through your veins at an intoxicating speed. It was an addictive rush, leaving you craving more—more of him, more of the sensations that set your skin aflame and made your heart race.

Time seemed to blur, the minutes stretching into an eternity of heated kisses and desperate touches. Your hands roamed freely, memorizing the contours of his body, tracing the lines of his muscles, and committing every inch of him to memory. The room was filled with the sounds of your shared passion—breathy moans, whispered names, and the rhythmic beat of two hearts caught in the throes of desire.

It wasn't long before the intensity of your need became almost unbearable. A soft, desperate whine escaped your lips, a sound that conveyed your longing and frustration. You could feel the slickness between your thighs, a testament to how thoroughly he had aroused you. Your body ached with a deep, insistent need, practically begging him for more.

"Please," you whispered, your voice a soft plea as your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt. The word hung in the air, heavy with the weight of your desire, and you looked up at him with wide, imploring eyes.

Hyunjin's gaze darkened with a mixture of lust and affection, his breath hitching at the sight of you so vulnerable, so open. He leaned in, capturing your lips in another searing kiss, his hands moving to cup your face with a tenderness that made your heart swell. The kiss was both a promise and a reassurance, a silent vow that he would give you everything you craved.

As he pulled back slightly, his eyes locked onto yours, the intensity of his gaze sent shivers down your spine. "Anything for you," he murmured, his voice a husky whisper that resonated deep within your core.

With a slow, deliberate motion, his hands slid down your body, his touch igniting a trail of fire along your skin. The anticipation built with every second, your senses heightened to a fever pitch. Each brush of his fingers, each lingering touch, was a tantalizing prelude to the ecstasy that awaited. You arched into his touch, your body responding instinctively to the promise of pleasure.

His fingers danced tantalizingly close to your drenched core, skimming over the slick heat but avoiding the sensitive places where you needed him most. The tease was exquisite yet maddening, each near-touch sending shivers of both pleasure and frustration through your body. You could feel the dampness of sweat on your skin, mingling with the warmth of his body pressed against yours.

Mildly frustrated, a soft whimper escaped your lips as you reached down between your intertwined bodies. Your fingers wrapped around his wrist, guiding his hand to where you craved his touch. The movement was driven by a mix of urgency and desperation, a silent plea for him to end the sweet torture.

He chuckled lightly at your eagerness, the sound a blend of amusement and affection that reverberated through your chest. The gentle tease in his voice only heightened your desire, making you acutely aware of how much you wanted—needed—him. Despite his amusement, he didn't leave you waiting for long.

His thumb found your clit, the touch electric and precise, sending a jolt of pleasure through you. A gasp left your lips, the sensation intense and immediate. Without warning, his index finger slipped inside you, filling you completely. The sudden intrusion made you yelp in surprise, your body arching into his touch as a wave of heat surged through you.

He quickly glanced up, his eyes searching yours with a mixture of concern and passion. The thrusts into your core halted, yet he kept his fingers buried deep inside, the sensation still pulsing through you. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, his voice a husky whisper that mingled with the heavy breaths filling the room.

You licked your lips, a slow and deliberate motion, trying to gather your composure amidst the swirling intensity. Your chest rose and fell with each pant, the air thick with anticipation and desire. You nodded, the movement gentle but assured, your body trembling slightly as you held back the urge to grind into his hand. "Yes... just please go slow when you're down there," you whispered, your voice tinged with a blend of need and vulnerability.

His eyes softened at your words, a tender smile curling at the corners of his lips. The connection between you felt almost palpable, a silent understanding that spoke volumes. He nodded in response, his fingers beginning to move once more, but this time with a deliberate slowness that made every touch more intense.

Each movement was a study in restraint, his fingers exploring you with a gentleness that contrasted with the earlier urgency. The deliberate pace allowed you to savor every sensation, the pleasure building in slow, delicious waves. Your body responded instinctively, a soft moan escaping your lips as you felt him delve deeper.

He watched you closely, his gaze unwavering, the concern in his eyes gradually giving way to a renewed desire. The intimacy of the moment wrapped around you both, a cocoon of shared trust and passion. His other hand found its way to your hip, holding you steady as he continued his slow, measured rhythm.

The atmosphere in the room shifted, the earlier frenzy giving way to a tender, almost reverent exploration. Your breaths synchronize, each inhale and exhale a testament to the deep connection that had formed between you. His fingers curled inside you, finding that sweet spot that sent shivers down your spine, drawing out gasps and sighs of pleasure.

As he moved, his thumb brushed against your clit with a featherlight touch, sending sparks of electricity through your entire being. The slow pace allowed the pleasure to build gradually, each wave cresting higher than the last. Your hands reached out, fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer as you lost yourself in the sensations.

He responded to your touch, his lips finding yours in a kiss that was both tender and intense. The world seemed to narrow down to the two of you, every sensation magnified in the cocoon of intimacy you had created. The taste of him, the feel of his fingers, the sound of your mingled breaths—it all wove together into a symphony of pleasure.

You could feel the tension building within you once more, a slow burn that promised an explosive release. The deliberate pace made every touch, every caress, more poignant, the anticipation heightening your arousal. Your body arched into his touch, a silent plea for more, for everything he could give.

His fingers moved with a steady, unerring rhythm, guiding you towards the edge with a skill that made your heart race. The slow, deliberate thrusts were interspersed with gentle caresses, the combination driving you to the brink of ecstasy. Your moans grew louder, the pleasure building to an almost unbearable intensity.

And then, with a final, deliberate thrust, the tension within you snapped. Pleasure crashed over you in a tidal wave, your body trembling as the orgasm tore through you. You cried out his name, the sound echoing in the small space, your vision blurring as the world dissolved into pure sensation.

He held you through it all, his fingers still moving gently, prolonging the waves of pleasure. The aftershocks rippled through you, leaving you breathless and sated. As the intensity faded, you clung to him, your body still humming with the remnants of ecstasy.

In the aftermath, the room was filled with a quiet, almost sacred, stillness. You looked up at him, your heart full of gratitude and love, knowing that this moment was one of many that you would cherish. The night was a tapestry of shared passion and deep connection, a journey that had only just begun.

꒰ 🏷️ ꒱ ミ Permanent taglist: @agi-ppangx @sunnyrisee @jisunglyricist (Click on the link to join! All you have to do is answer a few questions to help me stay organized!)

🍉 FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE! DAILY CLICKS! STAYBLR FUNDRAISER!

[imaginespazzi]

Part 7: Home

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

These hands had to let it go free and this love came back to (us)

(In which with bittersweet feelings, a nostalgic writer, finally writes the end of the story)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst and Fluff

Words: 7.1K

TW: Swearing, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my loves! I can't believe we've actually reached the end, who would have thought huh? I'm not sure if there will be an epilogue, mainly cause I don't know what I'd write but never say never. I don't really know how I feel about this chapter and if I've done the end I pictured justice but I really hope y'all like it anyways. There's a fair amount of creative liberty taken with WNBA logistics but please just accept it for the plot. Per usual, did I edit? Yes. Are there grammar mistakes and typos anyways? Yes. As always, let me know what you liked and disliked. And finally, to all my lovelies who have liked, reblogged, commented, sent in an ask, dm-ed me or simply just silently read this fic, I just wanna say thank you guys so, so, much, y'all have made writing every word worth it and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much I enjoyed writing it <3

August 2018

Paige swears, tonight, there are stars in the Minnesota night sky she’s never seen before in her life. The summer sky has darkened with nightfall, yet the shine of the moon and its companions make it still seem ever so bright. Or maybe, it’s just the girl lying next to Paige that makes tonight feel luminescent, sparkling with the promises of something not quite like friendship that Paige has never felt before. She’d spent the whole day with Azzi at the Minnesota State fair, trying to suppress these new butterflies in her stomach that seemed to have taken birth over their time in Latvia. Or well, maybe they’d been there from the start, but they’d really only started this dance of theirs, the one that makes Paige feel all tingly when Azzi smiles, over the course of this summer. 

“Paige it’s cold, stop hogging the blanket,” Azzi chastises, breaking Paige from a trance, as she tugs on the pink and purple blanket covering the two of them, “I knew we should have brought two of them.”

“It’s barely on me” Paige argues for the sake of arguing but she shifts anyway to allow the younger girl to pull the blanket, so clearly meant for one person, a little more towards her, “besides, it’s about sharing body heat.”

“You’re not even warm enough to share body heat,” Azzi mocks as she makes a show of tracing a finger down Paige’s arm and everything in the blonde feels like it’s been lit on fire at the touch. And she wonders if Azzi feels it too, the electricity, the sparks of this could ruin me that scatter through her veins before finding themselves setting her heart ablaze. It’s too much and Paige shakes Azzi’s hand off with a little more force than she means too. 

When Azzi sends her questioning look, she splutters through an excuse, “your hands are cold too. Can we just do the boring shit we’re here to do.”

"Stargazing is not boring,” Azzi says indignantly, opening the little stargazing booklet she’d brought with her, flicking through the pages looking for something specific. 

To be honest, sitting still in an open field and squinting at the sky trying to figure out a distant constellation isn’t really Paige’s brand of entertainment. She’s a fidgety person by nature, constantly embroiled in the urge to be moving. But Azzi had brought it up the other day, with pleading eyes and a hopeful grin and well, sometimes it felt sinful to deny Azzi of anything she wants. And that’s how they’d ended up at a campsite, not too far from the State fair, lying on the grass, heads tilted towards each other, with a single blanket shielding them from the summer breeze. 

“Okay,” Azzi says after a while, using her fingers to point out a pattern in the sky, “I think that one’s Cassiopeia.”

“If you say so,” Paige nods, not really sure what she’s supposed to be looking at. 

“Paaaaige,” Azzi whines, “focus.”

“Dude I can barely see anything, the fuck am I supposed to focus o-”

Before Paige can finish her sentence, she feels herself being pulled by the younger girl, the side of her body fitting into the crook’s of Azzi’s like a perfect puzzle piece. She looks over at the brunette, and the protest dies on the tip of her tongue, as she realises just how close Azzi is to her now, all semblance of air leaving her lungs. Paige gulps, eyes tracing every inch of her best friend’s face, stopping of their own accord at Azzi’s lips, before guiltily flashing back to meet the younger girl’s eyes which are just as focused on Paige. And it feels like there’s no force in this world right now that could make either of them look away. Except maybe the force of friends don’t do this. 

“Just focus,” Azzi breaks contact first, turning her face back at the stars, before gently grabbing hold of Paige’s hand so she can guide it in the pattern of the constellation. And Paige still doesn’t really see it, doesn’t even particularly care about seeing it, but if it gets Azzi to hold her hand, soft skin putting light pressure against her palm, she thinks she’ll try to see some random lines in the sky forever. 

“It’s pretty.”

“You don’t see it do you?”

“Nope,” Paige’s grin widens when Azzi chuckles, shaking her head fondly. Something in her blooms, delighted at being the reason for that. And she’s always prided herself in being funny, she thinks of herself as a little bit of a comedian really, but she’s never wanted to make anyone laugh quite as much as she wants to make Azzi laugh. 

“Well that’s enough stargazing for us then,” Azzi rolls her eyes, closing her little booklet and making a move to sit up but Paige is quicker, pulling the younger girl back down and interlocking their fingers. Her own overeagerness causes a tinge of embarrassment to race up her cheeks, and she hopes it’s dark enough that Azzi won’t see the pale pink blush taking over her face. 

“It’s peaceful out here,” she says quietly, sounding shy even to her own ears and she can’t help but wonder when the hell that happened, “you wanna stay a little longer?”

“Yeah okay let’s stay longer,,” Azzi agrees  and sometimes when Azzi speaks like that, her voice lyrically soft with a secret smile hidden in it, Paige wonders if maybe it would be okay to hope for, to feel something more because maybe, just maybe, Azzi feels it too. 

“You know you should come to the state championship,” Paige says after a second of silence, trying to keep her voice nonchalant but she can hear the wishfulness bleeding into it anyways. 

Azzi raises an eyebrow, “isn’t that in March? That’s like months and months away.”

“Yeah but- well-” Paige shrugs, cheeks burning just a little bit, “you probably wanna book in advance cause like tickets and stuff you know?”

“You don’t even know if you’ll be in the state championship. There’s still a whole season to go.”

“Oh I know. I know we’re definitely gonna be there.” Paige smirks, cockiness back in full-fledged form. 

“Then I’ll be there,” Azzi says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world, “you better win though Bueckers.”

“Watch me,” and she’s jutting her chest out in arrogance sure, but really everything inside her is swelling with something else, a feeling she’s starting to understand a little too well, a feeling that terrifies her, a feeling she doesn’t think she’s quite ready to let herself feel yet, “it would be nice you know, to win a championship together at some point.”

“I don’t think my parents would be on board with moving to Minnesota.”

“I’m sure I could convince them,” Paige feels a little giddy at the thought, “but I meant more like college, like UConn.”

It’s a topic they’ve stumbled upon a couple of times, with each other, and with the other girls at Team USA. And as much as Paige would love for her other teammates to follow her to her dream school, she’s practical enough to know they might have other priorities. But the thing is that with the rest of the girls, it’s just something she’d like to happen but with Azzi, now that Paige has said it out loud, she’s beginning to realise how desperately she wants that, her and Azzi, on the same team, fighting the same battles and winning the same wars, together. 

“Don’t think you can win a national championship without me Bueckers?” Azzi smirks, twisting her head towards Paige, eyebrows cocked in arrogance. 

“Of course I can,” Paige’s face softens, the vulnerability that only ever seems to come out around her best friend seeping on to her features, “but I think it would be fun to win one with you. Someday.”

“Someday, “ Azzi whispers back, giving Paige’s hand a light squeeze, and then her eyes widen at the sky, “holy shit is that a shooting star? Oh my god Paige look up, quick, it’s beautiful.”

In the dark of the night, a rare flicker of gold shoots across the obsidian Minnesota sky. Paige has never seen one before but it seems fitting really, that she’d see one tonight. 

“We have to make a wish,” she whispers and Azzi, never one to really believe, rolls her eyes but she follows Paige’s lead, closing her eyes. And the thing is Paige could wish for a lot of things really, but she finds herself thinking of only one word that sums up all she could ever want: someday.

***

August 2026 

They’ve been playing against each other for years now and yet the thrill of the face-off still hasn’t quite worn off. Back in the handful of games in high school, it had been quickfire friendly trash talk, two best friends going at it like the competitors they were. College had been drastically different, each game, each play, underlined with the tension of two people who still hadn’t quite figured it out. But Paige thinks her favourite version of them as opponents is definitely this one, the one where they might be on different teams in the WNBA, but off the court, they both know they’re on the same side, together. 

Their relationship isn’t quite a secret; it would have been impossible to hide if after the kiss at the 2025 national championship. But they’d kept as quiet about it as possible, skillfully dodging media questions, wanting to shelter it from the prying eyes of the public. It makes playing each other on national television, just that little bit more entertaining, trying to keep things as cordial as possible. If Paige’s hands end up just a little too close to Azzi’s waist, lingering a little longer than necessary against the patch of skin she’d marked with a hickey earlier this morning, and it makes the younger girl shiver, then that’s just a tactic to win. And if Azzi breathes seductive thoughts of what she’d like to do after the game when guarding Paige, and it makes the blonde want to turn around and kiss the smirk off of her girlfriend’s lips, well that’s just another innovative defensive strategy. 

“Be a good girl for me and move,” Paige whispers, the double entendre in her voice apparent, as she tries to dribble the ball past Azzi. There’s only a minute or so left in the last meeting of the regular season between Paige’s Lynx and Azzi’s Mystics -funny how that had worked out-  and the score is painfully close, with the Mystics closing in on the Lynx’s two point-lead. 

“Always a good girl for you P,” Azzi smirks, her voice the quietest it could possibly be, but Paige hears her next words like they’re on a loudspeaker in the area,  “it’s why I’m wearing your favourite purple panties.”

It takes a second, a second where Paige’s eyes gloss over with lust, as her mind rushes back to the last time she’d seen, the last time she’d touched the silky undergarment, for the ball to be stolen from her hands. She’s a step too slow to recover and by that time Azzi’s already scored the easy lay-up to tie up the game, a mischievous grin adorning her normally stoic game face. 

On the other end of the court, Napheesa draws a foul and Paige and Azzi end up next to each for free throws. Paige is seething, unsure if the heat curling up her spine is from the game or the girl standing next to her. 

“Sorry baby, all’s fair in love and war right?” Azzi teases, pinky brushing against the blonde’s, “I’ll make it up to you later if you want.”

“You’re such a fucking menace,” Paige practically growls. She does want, in fact she’d like it right now if it was possible. Two years they’ve been together, longer if you count the inbetween, and still, every time Azzi lights a match, Paige feels herself burn just as brightly as the first time she’d felt that magnetic pull. 

“Learnt from the best,” Azzi hums with a grin as Napheesa hits both free throws. 

The rest of the game passes in a blur of frenzied shots and hurried fouls but the Lynx pull out an eventual, much-needed win, to better their chances of clinching a higher seed in the playoffs. After missing the playoffs in 2024, the Lynx, despite having relatively low odds, had secured the no.1 pick and there had never really been a doubt that they would pick Paige. She’d helped the team get back to the playoffs last season but they hadn’t made it out of the first round. A championship doesn’t seem quite possible yet, but Paige has her fingers crossed that they’d at least make it to a semi-final this time. 

“The two of you are terrible at this,” Aaliyah’s the first person to hug Paige during the handshake line, “I thought you’d jump each other’s bones in the middle of the game today.”

“We’re not that bad,” Paige rolls her eyes at her former teammate. She high-fives a few more of the Mystics team until she gets to Azzi, who’s already smiling, despite the loss. The cameras are quick to crowd them, clearly wanting a more sensational picture than the one they’re likely to get. Still, despite the unwanted attention, Paige lets herself nestle into the crook of Azzi’s neck. 

“You owe me twice tonight,” she whispers into the younger girl’s ear, “one for the win and one for that bullshit you pulled on the court tonight.”

Azzi’s voice is breathless when she replies, “I can give you way more than two.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“It’s a promise.”

***

“With the new rules, after this season you’ll be a free agent, have you given any thought to that?”

Waiting for the Lynx’s turn in the media room, Paige hadn’t been paying much attention to the questions being asked to the Mystics players, her focus solely on how hot her girlfriend always looked post games. But the words ‘free agent’ pique her interest. The W had changed the rookie contract rules for first round draftees to two years and that meant both Paige and Azzi would be free agents after this year. But while it hadn’t reached the media quite yet, the Lynx were likely to use their core designation on Paige. Which meant the only one of them making any decision about next season would be Azzi. It was a subject the two of them were cautiously tip-toeing around, using the shield of distance to avoid talking about what it could mean for them. 

“I’m focused on the season, this team and the rest of our games. I’m not really thinking about the future,” Azzi answers diplomatically. 

“You’ve obviously got very strong ties to the DC area but you also went to UCLA, if the Sparks or maybe even the Valkyries, considering your connection to Steph Curry, were interested, and there have been rumours that they are, would you consider it?” the same reporter prods. 

“Again, I’m not currently thinking about any of that,” to anyone else Azzi probably sounds neutral but Paige has studied the sheet music of Azzi’s voice to the point where she knows what’s hidden behind every note, behind every little indent. The tinge of irritation is masked by a smile, but the line of questioning is clearly unappreciated. 

“And what about the Lynx?” the persistently oblivious reporter continues and this time Paige sucks in a breath, “you have some ties to that team don't you? Have you given some thought to maybe going there?”

Azzi’s eye twitches ever so slightly, “the Lynx just beat my team. The only thoughts I have right now are about how to beat them next time.”

That elicits a laugh from the media and finally the rather obtuse reporters seem to understand that he’s not going to be able to pry anything newsworthy from Azzi’s mouth. But even if he hasn’t achieved his desired effect, he’s succeeded in making Paige’s mind start running in circles. She hadn’t let herself think about it yet, the potential of Azzi joining the Lynx, the potential of playing with Azzi, the potential of finally just being with Azzi. Because facing the potential for all of that, facing all the things she wants means also facing the potential that maybe Azzi doesn’t want any of that. 

***

The air in Paige’s living room is thick with a suffocating tension as she and Azzi sit on opposite ends of the couch. It reminds Paige a little bit of the before, a dreaded version of them she’d foolishly thought they grown out of, until something reminiscent of their past problems had reared its ugly head, and suddenly it feels a bit like she’s playing a losing game. 

“Will you please stop that,” she bites out, referring to where Azzi’s foot is incessantly tapping on the wooden floors, “it’s giving me a headache.”

Azzi’s eyes narrow, flashing with irritation, “is it my tapping or the alcohol giving you a headache Paige?”

“I didn’t even drink that much,” Paige says through gritted teeth and Azzi scoffs. 

It’s a lie. After both teams were done with post game pressers, she, Azzi and a couple of the other girls had ended up at a local bar as they often did when the other team didn’t have to fly out til the next day. Paige had been tense the whole evening and trying to pretend not to be, especially when Azzi could see right through her façade, had only made the whole thing worse. She wasn’t one to drink too much, always happy just being sufficiently tipsy but then she’d gotten in her head too much. And when the first shot didn’t quite hit the way she needed it to, she’d kept on going, receiving worried looks from all the girls, until Azzi had finally stepped in. The ride back from the bar had been a sobering experience, one look at Azzi’s stoic face, giving away her irritation. 

“That’s why you still reek of tequila?” 

“How the fuck would you know? You haven’t come near me all night.” 

“Don’t you dare try and turn this on me Paige. I tried to talk to you all night til you decided you wanted to act like freshman frat boy,” Azzi spits out, hurt and anger colliding in her voice, “we barely get to spend time together during the season and the one night in forever that we do, you pull this shit?”

They haven’t had an argument like this since they’ve been officially together, the kind of argument that has them balancing on a delicate tight rope, too afraid to take a step backwards in their relationship, and too prideful to take a step forward towards each other. 

“I didn’t think you cared about spending time together during the season,” Paige accuses and there’s a sensible part of her, one that’s currently being held captive by the dangers of liquor, that knows it’s a ridiculous allegation. 

Azzi stares at her, lips opening and closing in disbelief, “excuse me?”

“It’s pretty simple really Azzi. If you wanna spend the whole season together, the option is right fucking there, but I- I can’t even tell if you’re interested in taking it,” Paige is pacing now, teeth gnawing at her lips like they always do when she’s nervous. 

“What- what are you even talking about?” Azzi asks, clearly confused. 

“Free fucking agency. They asked you about it and you said you hadn’t thought about it at all. That’s really great to hear Az, really great to know you haven’t thought about how that could literally change our whole fucking life,” and even as the words waterfall out of her mouth, Paige knows she’s being unreasonable, but the mix of stress and alcohol churning in her stomach is just enough to keep her from taking the words back. 

“I didn’t- that’s not even what I said. Jesus fucking christ Paige,” Azzi rubs her face, looking defeated.

“So you have thought about it then?”

“Of course I’ve thought about it, “ Azzi throws her hands up, “but I wasn’t gonna tell the media about all of that. But you- you seriously think I haven’t thought about what this means for us? You don’t- do you really think I’m not thinking about you- about us- while trying to make this decision?”

“Well you definitely didn’t think of me- of us- when you chose UCLA,” Paige’s eyes widen at her own words, knowing immediately that of all things she could have said, those were the worst ones, “I- I didn’t mean it like that.”

In front of her, Azzi has gone deathly still, face completely devoid of emotion, until the first tear drops and all of Paige’s anger dissipates, the guilt clawing back with full force. 

“I thought we were over that,” Azzi whispers, voice trembling, as she looks down at her hands, “but maybe we’ll never be over that.”

“We are,” Paige sinks to her knees in front of the younger girl, tugging Azzi’s hands into her own, “we are over it. I just- it just slipped out.”

Azzi’s quiet for a moment before she pulls her hands out of the blonde’s grip, sidestepping her as she stands up and Paige feels empty and cold and just a little bit broken. 

“Are you leaving?” she whispers, peering up at Azzi through tear soaked eyelashes. 

“I think I should, before anything else just slips out,” Paige flinches and Azzi’s expression softens, “I know- I know you didn’t mean it like that but I just- I need some space.”

Panic filters into Paige’s lungs, wrapping its dirty hands and squeezing so tight that she can barely breathe. She’s not sure when she’ll see Azzi again, now that there’s no more Lynx-Mystics games left in the regular season and it’s unlikely with their expected seedings that they’d meet at some point in the playoffs. It’s not like distance is new to them, but in the last two years, they’ve only ever said goodbye with an i love you attached to the end. 

“Are you-,” Paige gasps for air, “are you leaving me?”

And it must be written all over Paige's face, just how petrified she is of this moment, because that's all it takes for Azzi to rush back into Paige’s space, hands cupping her cheeks, “oh baby of course not. I just- you’re still drunk and I’m upset and I don’t want us to say anything we don’t mean. And I- need time to think about free agency and I think you- you need time to think about why that slipped out.”

Paige sighs, melting into Azzi’s touch as the knots in her stomach begin to untangle themselves, “you’re so logical.”

“Someone has to be,” a half-smile flitters across the younger girl’s face as she wipes at Paige’s tears, “we’ll figure this out okay? Just- just give me a little bit of time.”

Give me time. It’s a familiar line, so similar to what Azzi had asked for when she was making a decision about college and Paige would be lying if she said there isn’t a part of her that’s terrified fate is going to make them repeat the same mistakes. But part of growing up, Paige surmises, is letting time test you with the same trials and tribulations, and the next time, coming out of the other end on the right side. 

And so she squeezes Azzi’s hand, matching the younger girl's half smile, with a soothing one of her own, “okay.”

***

November 2027 

Paige doesn't know when she ended up in a love triangle with Azzi and the state of California but she wishes she was competing against an actual person. At least then she could throw a punch at the other guy. The W season is barely over and it seems like every front office has thrown themselves headfirst into convincing free agents to join their team. There’s a couple of teams interested in Azzi, but no one seems to be trying harder than the Los Angeles Sparks. Paige thinks whoever gave that city a name meaning “the angels” could not have been more wrong because really it’s a city full of devils constantly trying to steal her girl and no she’s not being dramatic. 

They’re supposed to be leaving for thanksgiving dinner when Azzi’s phone rings and Paige can’t help but roll her eyes when Cameron Brink’s name flashes on the CallerID. The Sparks seemed to have put her as head of their recruiting Azzi campaign and Cam had been diligently doing her part. 

“Azzi, Cam’s calling again,” Paige yells out to her girlfriend who’s still not quite finished getting ready.

“Can you pick it up?”

“Do I have to?”

“Paige,” Azzi whines and Paige sighs, hitting the green answering button. 

“The amount of times you’ve called my girlfriend this week, Brink, should I be concerned?”

“Jealous I’m replacing you as her favourite blonde?” Cam’s voice always sounds like she’s smiling and Paige can’t help her own smile. Goddamn Cameron Brink for always being the sweetest soul on this planet. 

“As if,” Paige scoffs, “it’s a holiday Cam, give the recruiting a rest.”

“Hey, I’m just calling to wish her a happy thanksgiving,” Cam defends. 

“Mmmhmm where’s my thanksgiving wish?”

“Oh please, the two of you are basically a unit. Wishing her is wishing you,” Cam is quiet for a second before speaking again, “the Sparks would be a good fit for her Paige.”

Paige sucks in a sharp breath, “I’m not the one you’re gonna have to convince.”

“I know but you know your opinion means a lot to her. I know you want her in Minnesota and she'd be good there too and I- I know it isn’t my place to say any of this but just- just don’t discourage her from doing what’s best for her,” there’s not a hint of malice in Cam’s words, there never is, but they pierce at Paige’s skin anyways. 

“Okay I’m ready, hand me the phone,” she’s saved from having to answer by Azzi waltzing into the living room and prying the phone from her hands. 

Paige watches silently as Azzi talks animatedly with Cam, noticing the way her girlfriend’s smile widens while talking about certain spots in L.A. They’d subconsciously decided not to breach the subject of free agency after that night. Paige hadn’t interfered in any of the Lynx’s conversations with Azzi, deciding that this time, she’d stay out of it. It hadn’t been easy, every little bit of her itching to pitch why the Lynx were the perfect fit, why Paige was the perfect fit, but she was determined to give Azzi the space -the time- she’d wanted. This time she’d leave the choice solely up to Azzi and whatever she decided, Paige would find her happiness in that. 

“Paige you ready to go,” Azzi waves a hand in front of Paige’s face, eyebrows raised in question when the older girl doesn’t make a move to get off the sofa, “hey, you good?”

“Cam says the Sparks would be a good fit,” Azzi stiffens at Paige’s words. 

“Paige-”

“She’s right,” Paige concedes, fingers fidgeting as she averts Azzi’s gaze. 

The younger girl blinks at her, clearly not having expected that, “she is?”

“Yeah. They need a shooting guard and you,” Paige smiles, reaching out to pull Azzi onto the couch with her, “you’re the best there is.”

“I wouldn’t go that far-”

“You are to me and it’s why I want you on the Lynx,” they both let out a breath with that. It’s not a secret of course but Paige hasn’t said it out loud before. 

“Paige-”

“But it’s okay if you don't wanna be on the Lynx, if you wanna be on the Sparks or stay here with the Mystics or on any other team, if you think it’s the right move for you and for your career then that’s fine. It’s okay and you don’t- you don’t need my permission or anything of course but I just- whatever you decide, I’ll support it okay? What I said that night about UCLA-  it wasn't- it wasn’t about you. I thought about it like you asked me to and it’s me. I was scared that I would fuck it up again and I’d lose you again-”

“You won’t,” Azzi grabs Paige’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze,  “I won’t let you.”

“I know. I know now that whatever happens, we’ll be okay. And so you can choose whatever team you want and it won’t- it won’t affect us, I promise. It won’t be like last time I swear. When you make your decision- I just- I don’t want you to make it for me or for us, cause you and me? Baby we’ll be just fine no matter what. Wherever you go and wherever I am, we’ll make it work, just as we have for the last two years,” Paige smirks, “besides I kinda enjoy kicking your ass.”

Azzi lets out a snort as she climbs onto Paige’s lap, thighs straddling her hips, “you really had to ruin it with that last part huh?”

“Was getting a little too sappy for me,” Paige mumbles and when she looks up, the emotions floating in Azzi’s eyes make Paige’s heart stutter. Because no one else gets this Azzi. This Azzi, who wears her heart on her sleeve, who lets her walls down, only for Paige’s eyes to see, only for Paige’s mind to memorise, only for Paige’s heart to keep. 

“You mean it?” Azzi whispers, brushing a strand of hair out of Paige’s face, touching lingering, “you’d be okay with anything?”

“Yeah, yeah I do,” Paige cups Azzi’s cheeks, brushing her lips against the younger girl’s, “whatever you choose, we’ll be fine. No matter what, I believe in us.”

***

January 2028

Paige groans when her phone rings at 2 a.m., fumbling around in the dark trying to answer it. 

“I swear you better be dying if you’re calling me this late,” she grumbles into the phone, voice scratchy with sleep. 

“Not quite,” Azzi says, and Paige’s eyebrows furrow at the amount of background noise she can hear behind her girlfriend. 

“Dude where the hell are you at 3 in the morning?” she asks, now a little more awake as she sits up. 

“I uh- I had a bit of a revelation,” and Paige can practically picture Azzi, wherever she might be, fidgeting with her fingers and biting her lips. 

“That doesn’t explain anything.”

“I know. I know. Shit, I was supposed to do this in person. I had a whole plan but apparently being with you has made me impatient,” Azzi rambles. 

“You’re still not making any sense,” but Paige’s heart is starting to beat erratically fast in anticipation. 

“I had this realisation while I was in the gym today, it was really quiet and peaceful and I was fine you know- all day I was fine- just doing daily routines and then I just- I missed you. I miss you all the time do you know that?”

Paige does know, knows it far too well. Sometimes she thinks missing Azzi comes as naturally as breathing, an innate part of her day to day, a constant ache that she’s felt since she was 15. 

“I miss you too,” she whispers. 

“And I’ve learned to survive with that feeling, with missing you constantly. I mean it’s been more than 10 years at this point, how could I not? But what I realised today is that just because I can- just because I can live missing you- doesn’t mean I want to.”

“What are you saying Azzi?”

“DC is my childhood. My family is close to there, it’s part of where I grew up. It’ll always be my first home. And LA is where I found myself, my identity, and for a while it felt like home too.”

“Azzi,” Paige breathes out, hands gripping the phone as tight as possible, wrapping that one syllable in emblems of give me forever. 

“But my forever home isn’t in DC or LA and it’s not really in any other place either because-  Jesus this might be the clichést thing I’ve ever said but-,” Azzi lets out a chuckle, “my home is wherever you are Paige. Wherever we’re together, that’s home.”

It feels a little bit like the end of a drought, the wetness on Paige’s cheeks like the rain that comes after. In the pitch black of her room, phone clutched closely to her ear with Azzi’s words floating through it like a swan song, Paige swears she’s never felt the world glow quite like this before. 

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Beating your ass has been fun as hell but I think we’d make a pretty good team Bueckers.”

And it’s a good thing Paige’s walls are soundproof because the delighted whoop she lets out practically vibrates around the room, all previous wisps of tiredness completely gone from her body. Azzi lets out a tearful laugh and Paige wishes they were together right now so she could tattoo this happiness onto both of their skins. 

“The greatest team ever,” Paige affirms, “When are you com-”

“Attention passengers Delta Airlines Flight 1248 to Minneapolis will be boarding soon, please have your passport and ticket ready to check at the gate.”

“About that,” Azzi says shyly as Paige’s mouth drops open at the announcement, “I uh- I had a moment of spontaneity.”

“Who the hell are you and what have you done with my overthinking girlfriend?” Paige demands and Azzi giggles on the other end of line.

“I know it’s last minute, like really last minute and it was meant to be a surprise actually but I just- I really wanna see you. Is that okay?”

“Is that okay? Fuck Azzi, it’s all I want. Baby,” Paige breathes out softly, “come home.”

*** 

Time isn’t going nearly fast enough Paige thinks as she checks the arrivals board for the nth time. She’d tried for about four seconds to fall back asleep after hanging up the phone but her entire body had been buzzing with excitement. And so she’d gotten to the airport far earlier than necessary, and had maybe one too many cups of coffee if the jittery shake in her left hand is anything to go by.

She swears she feels her before she sees her. The air is electric as if the whole city, the whole state is waiting for Azzi too, for them to get their elusive forever. This moment feels like years in the making, and Paige is ready, ready to grasp it and make it hers. And then there’s Azzi, a clearly chosen-at-last minute wrinkled t-shirt, eyes drooping from the tiredness from not having slept all night, baby hairs in a frenzy across her forehead. To Paige, she’s still the prettiest girl in the entire universe. 

Azzi’s eyes scan through the airport until they land on Paige, a dazzling smile illuminating her exhausted features. It’s the exact same smile that Paige had first elicited from her on the flight back from Argentina when she’d told Azzi she had a feeling they'd make great friends. It’s her Paige smile. The world is still for a second, everything melting away except them and the whispers of the journey it had taken them to get to this point. Every delicately placed step towards each other feels like an ode to every year they’d spent apart. And then Paige is running, not caring about everyone else around her. She jumps into Azzi’s arm, all 6 feet of her, tangling her legs around the younger girl's waist while her arms fasten around the neck. It forces Azzi to let go of her small carry-on, not caring that it falls to the floor with a thud, as her hands wrap around Paige’s back, steadying her girlfriend’s weight on top of her. 

“You’re here,” Paige whispers, still a little in disbelief, “you’re really here.”

“I’ve been in Minny plenty of times before,” Azzi quips, adjusting her balance to properly hold the girl clinging to her like a koala. 

“Shut up you know what I mean. You’re here forever this time.”

“Well I don’t know about forever- OW,” Azzi shrieks, as Paige pinches her arm, “do you want me to drop you woman?”

“You’re never allowed to leave.”

“That sounds vaguely threatening.”

“Good because it definitely is a threat,” Paige says before pulling Azzi into a searing kiss, “welcome home baby.”

***

October 2028 

There are moments in life you remember forever. Sometimes you know they’re going to happen, sometimes they take you off guard and sometimes, it’s a combination of both. The Minnesota Lynx’s journey to the WNBA finals this season had always felt inevitable but the journey there, for a team that had unexpectedly fallen to the 4-seed despite pre-season clamour of them being number one, had been filled with bitter losses and moments of pure uncertainty. In a way, it perfectly mirrors Paige and Azzi’s relationship. 

There’s 11 seconds separating the Lynx from their 5th championship trophy as they lead the Sky by two points. The crowd is up on their feet, ready for their cheering to turn into roars the minute the final buzzer rings. Paige has the ball in her hands on the inbound, Coach Reeves yelling at her from the bench what to do, as she makes eye contact with Azzi. There are no words, not even a gesture that the other team might be able to interpret, but they know exactly what play they’re about to run.

Truth be told it hadn’t been the seamless transition the two of them had expected when Azzi joined the Lynx. They’d been naive to think years of not playing together wouldn’t have affected the backcourt chemistry they’d had almost instantly once upon a time. The first few games, there had been an embarrassing disconnect between the two of them that had resulted in a nasty berating from Coach Reeves and a subsequent argument between the two of them that had lasted into the next morning. It had taken several more practices, and a couple more games of flailing around, for them to finally become the duo Paige had always known they would. 

The game buzzer beeps and Paige throws the ball to Azzi who immediately returns it back to her, and then she’s running off screen after screen to get herself open on the wing, her sweet spot. Paige dribble penetrates into the paint, dragging an extra defender with her as they try to prevent her from getting a layup, the other defender blocks her from stepping back into a pull-up. Azzi’s defender has a momentary lapse in judgement, falling for the age-old trick of thinking she should help on defence, and that’s all it takes. A second for Paige to see Azzi open on the corner and pass it to her. A second for Azzi to shoot it. 

The three-pointer falls through the next with a perfect swish. Dagger shot. 

A small smile flits across Azzi’s face, the only emotion she’s shown all game and Paige can’t help the much larger grin that starts to flash on her own face. She can almost taste victory on the tip of her tongue, the two seconds left in the game are the only thing separating her from finally getting her version of the things we live for. Behind her she can hear Coach Reeves yelling at them to not foul, the 5-point lead enough of a cushion for them to withstand a last minute shot. But the Sky barely make it over midcourt and when Marina Mabrey heaves up a last second prayer, Paige doesn’t bother to see if it goes in as the buzzer sounds throughout Target Arena. The Minnesota crowd explodes in noise and colour as confetti falls from the sky. 

Despite the chaos of everything, Paige has never seen Azzi clearer than in this moment. Since she’d met the girl, in all of Paige’s prayers about winning a championship, one thing had always been constant, that when they’d come true, they’d come true with Azzi by her side. And she had been. The high school state champion, the college national championship, Azzi had been there for both but on the bleachers, as a spectator and as Paige’s biggest fan. But this, winning a championship with Azzi as her teammate, as her ally, as her partner, means something more. This win is theirs. 

“Do you remember when we saw that shooting star?” Azzi says softly, as they find their way into each other’s arms, not caring that there’s a thousand cameras capturing their every move. Paige pulls Azzi closer to her, every inch of her body pressing into the other girls until she’s not sure where she begins and where Azzi ends. 

“That was years ago,” Paige remarks but she can see it clearly, two young girls underneath the stars, unaware of what their future would be but sure that the other would be in it. Those girls would probably laugh at how long it had taken Paige and Azzi to figure out what had seemed so simple back then. 

“Yeah, yeah it was. Do you remember what you wished for?” Azzi asks, smiling when Paige nods, “do you wanna know what I wished for?”

“What did you wish for Az?”

“Before we saw the star you- you said it’d be nice to win a championship together someday. And so I-,” Azzi looks down shyly, “so I wished for someday. I wished for today.”

Paige stares at Azzi, drinking in the sincerity on the shooting guard’s face, silently letting herself absorb the meaning of Azzi’s words. And then she lets out a laugh because of course of course. 

“I didn’t realise I’d said anything funny for you to be laughing at me,” Azzi scrunches her nose, looking slightly offended. 

“God baby no,” Paige cups Azzi’s face, and she thinks this smile on her face will last forever as long as this is her reality, “I’m not laughing at you. I just- do you know what I wished for?” 

Azzi shakes her head. 

“This. The same exact thing you did. For someday.”

It’s not quite the shade of blue Paige had imagined them in, the Lynx blue its own shade, something inbetween UConn’s navy one and UCLA’s sky one. But it’s perfect nonetheless. And when Azzi crashes her lips against Paige’s, someday feels a lot like forever and always.

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Imagines

limerence.

pairings: lee heeseung x reader

synopsis: you’ve been secretly admiring and slightly staking lee heeseung for a while now. the admiration you once thought to be harmless started to evolved and made you do something unexpected.

warnings: grammatical error, obsessive love, stalking (slight), yandere.

word count: 5k.

note: this took a while to be posted. i know, i’m so lazy to post it, i’m sorry lmao. anyway, enjoy! also this is connected to the other yandere fics of enhypen. i will probably put it into a masterlist together. replies and reblogs are highly encouraged! send me a message to my asks too! i love reading them. thank you so much, ily. stay safe!

eeunoia 2024 © all rights reserved

‘Have you ever liked someone?’

Probably, right? Okay, let me rephrase it...

‘Have you ever liked someone to the point that you feel obsessed? Like you watch him silently, dreamt of him being with you...’

“Hi Heeseung!” your eyes snapped open when you heard that name. With squinting eyes, you tried to scan the wide field of your school to look for him.

And there he is.

Lee Heeseung.

Standing confidently by the field, wearing his jersey like he was meant to play rugby even before he was born. His pitch black hair falls messily on top of his sinful beautiful face. He smiles softly as he waves at the girls by the end of the bench. They screamed loudly after managing to catch his attention.

The handsome man doesn’t seem to even be slightly bothered by it as he comes to receive such reactions from girls everyday. You knew. Because you always watch him from afar, admiring him.

He’s one of the popular kids in your school. Very handsome, plays sport, not so bad with his acads and from a wealthy family. Girl’s will fall on their knees for him and you cannot blame them. He is worth to be simped for. Mainly why you had fallen into this deep dark obsession you slowly grew addicted on.

It started normal. A girl catching attraction over his schoolmate. Somehow, you wanted to blame him for being so cool with everything. Whatever he does, he have this way of turning it into an attractive way. It was hard to properly explain, but its sums up to Lee Heeseung being overwhelmingly admirable.

“You should go for it, dude!” your steps halted from walking along the long hallway when you saw two familiar tall figures.

One was Park Jongseong, also known as Jay, and then the taller one is Lee Heeseung leaning over one of the lockers. They’re looking over somewhere— more like someone. You unconsciously followed his line of sight and saw Irish, one of the cheerleader of your school. Totally hot chick babe and almost everyone in the campus knows her.

You saw how Heeseung’s stares pierced right at her while she laughs with her friends, unaware of it. Something bitter slowly spreads your chest and made it harder for you to take further steps.

Heeseung didn’t say a word to his friend and just kept his stares over Irish. Like he’s watching her very closely, observing everything about her. Just like how you are to him. A part of your heart cracks at the thought of it, but you couldn’t really blame him. Irish are exactly the type of girl that fits him very well. For all you know, the whole school will rejoice.

You snapped back to reality when you saw them slowly facing your way. Panic consumes you when you saw them heading your way. You and Heeseung will walk across each other. As usual, you lowered your head trying to prevent any chances of eye contact.

While in a hurry, you unexpectly clash over someone and you turned right away to face them. The lace to your i.d slightly got tangled with the other person and because you faced them, it got off. Thankfully, neither of them got broken.

“I’m sorry fo—” your eyes grew wide at the sight of Lee Heeseung. His placid expression as he stared down right at you just sent shivers to your spine, stomach churns and legs wobbling.

Your heart bursts just by short eye contact so you bowed politely and run away. You probably look like a pathetic loser for him now because of how you reacted and the students around who witnessed the scene might think you are being crazy.

The thoughts and worries were forcedly shoved away by your consciousness. Finally snapping out of the embarrassing quick flashback. It’s not like he will remember you anyway. Nobody in your school does. For them, you’re invisible.

You have no friends. It’s totally fine for you. Its not so sad to the point you cry inside your bedroom every night just because you have nobody to walk with you along the school premises. You aren’t a loner because they isolated you purposely. It was your own choice.

Besides, how can you freely spy Lee Heeseung if you have a friend that goes around with you all the time? They will just think you are a creep or much worst, they might report you.

As you try to catch your breath and calm yourself, the vivid memory of Heeseung’s face up close flashes back to your mind. His pretty eyes, nose pointy and kissable lips. Not to mention his slightly tan complexion. Suddenly, your heart starts racing once again.

Bumping into him was so far your first true interaction with him and the distance a while ago was the closest you got. Due to his tall height and slim body proportions, he doesn’t seem like someone whose physically strong. But when you bump into him, he didn’t even moved. Like as if you hit a wall and not a person.

Just by thinking of it makes you blush hard. It feels illegal to feel so good about it. With a ghost of smile, you started heading to your next class.

It was break time already and so Heeseung and his friends gathered together as usual. When he arrived, he already saw some of his friends hanging out near the cafeteria, causing some traffic due to the girls who wants to stare at them.

“Let’s go. I’m starving.” he says that caught their attention. Jungwon whose on his phone nods, while Jake headlocks Ni-ki so they can go inside.

Jay waits for Heeseung to catch up on him before he lays his hand on him, asking for something. He smirks before fishing something from his pocket and handed it to him without a word.

Sunghoon and Sunoo follows behind them as they go inside the rowdy cafeteria. Eyes follows them shamelessly and they didn’t really put much care into it. As long as they don’t bother them, he’s cool with him.

His eyes roamed around and caught Irish' group of friends at the left corner. She’s talking with them while she fixes her hair from time to time. Heeseung snaps back to reality when someone claps their hand to his shoulder. It was Jake.

“Do you think it would work?” Heeseung unconsciously asked.

Jake follows his line of sight and he chuckles, “It will for sure. Don’t you trust me?”

Heeseung whips his head to face his friend and smirks at him. “I trust your plan. I’m just a little excited.”

His friends flashed him this teasing grin before nodding his head while smiling downwardly.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get her soon.”

He nods and the line moved so its their turn to buy food. They chose the table near the entrance so they can leave easily. Their heads looked over Jungwon when he sighs a little, resting his phone down the table. His food untouched.

“What’s wrong?” Jay asked the younger one, a little concerned.

Jungwon eyes them and shook his head once. “(jungwon’s girl)’s refusing to eat again. She said she wants to come out of the house.” his tone low, enough for them to only hear.

They seem unbothered by the fact that their friend, the kind Yang Jungwon, president of the student council, has been hiding one of their schoolmate. The one that has been missing for months now.

“Why? I thought she’s finally behaving already?”

Jungwon smiles a little, a sign of victory.

“She is. Well, she gets bored of waiting for me to come home everyday from school. She wants to go out and attend school again.”

Heeseung’s mind went blank before his head unconsciously darting at the left corner of the cafeteria. He saw her finally eating her food. He watches her silently while imagining being with her. Holding her by his arms, inhaling her scent, kissing her neck, cheeks, nose and lips.

He cut his own thoughts as he’s slowly falling deep into it. He can’t be submissive over his own greed and ends up messing everything. It can’t be good, specially that they need to follow.

“Oh, right...” Jungwon starts that caught his friends' attention.

“Did you manage to get the part time?” he asks his Sunoo hyung. The latter smiles brightly and raises his thumbs up, making them all smile as well.

“I bribed the manager to let me work there for a week or so. He didn’t even think twice.” he announced.

Ni-ki scoffs after taking a sip from his drink. “What about your parents? Did they ask why you suddenly want to work a part time job?”

“Mom got curious, but I told her I just really want to try working.”

“And she buys it?”

“Yes.” and Sunoo nods.

They resumed eating, talking from time to time. They enjoy their food while the other students enjoy watching them eat.

“Look who's here...” Jake whistles and nudge his chin over a direction, informing them of who just entered the cafeteria along with her best friend.

When their eyes saw who it was, Heeseung’s eyes flee over Sunghoon and he already has glaring eyes towards Jake.

“Don’t whistle like that. She ain’t a dog.” he seriously said that earns only playful giggles from Jake and Ni-ki.

“I heard she likes you very much Hoon.” Heeseung says.

The statement made the boiling anger in his friend’s eyes calm down as he licked his lips, ears burning red.

Jungwon chuckles, “You’re still after Heeseung hyung, remember that.”

“I fucking know. So hurry up so I can have mine.” he said directly at Heeseung that only made him smile. He badly wants to do it quickly as well.

Your obsession is getting worst. Before, you’re already contented just by looking at him, watching him. And now seeing him lurking around Irish makes you feel so mad. You have no rights to, but that’s what you’re feeling.

How can he show those sweet smiles towards her? Carry her bag? Stare at her eyes softly? Why can’t it be you?

It's been a week ever since you’ve seen Heeseung hanging out with Irish too often. News of the two of them dating surrounds the campus like a wild fire and its making you feel so... jealous. You know its bad. You know its wrong, but you’re starting to hate Irish. Even if she’s not doing anything to you.

No... Actually she did something. She stole Heeseung.

While studying one night and obviously having zero progress, you decided to cut some slack and lay down your bed. Scrolling over your tiktok and then switching it to naver, scanning some latest news. It was pretty boring, not until a popular search caught your eye.

‘How can you make someone like you back?’

You’ve never clicked so fast in your life. Feeling impatient for it to load completely, you nibbled on your lower lip, eyes fixed at the screen of your phone.

There are pretty decent suggestions, such as dressing up, having make overs, try to get their attention.. blah blah. Same bullshits that you can see on movies or tv series. Its actually annoying how they think that could work? For people who's naturally pretty or full of charms, maybe.

You cursed and was about to exit the damn article when something caught your attention once again. Its a comment probably left by someone in a joking way. A hundred replies were left beneath it and it gained almost a thousand likes.

‘Kidnap them and keep them in your house.’

Your heart beats so fast by the illegal and dark thoughts that occupies your mind. These are the things that can ruin everything in you, but this obsession seems to be feeding and growing nonstop inside you and now its unstoppable. All you can think of is that you have to get him. You’ve got to have Lee Heeseung for yourself.

A week later, with nervous hands fidgeting together and rigid breathing, you pull your face mask upper to make sure it covers the lower part of your face. A black hat tops your outfit. People won’t be suspicious of you as wearing face masks became pretty normal already.

You can almost hear your heart thumping loudly inside your chest when you felt a presence looming behind you.

“Coal?” one man muttered the code name you told him to use once he arrived so you’ll know its him.

You didn’t even glance at him and just try to hand him the paperbag containing your payment for the stuff you asked online. It was odd that you’re here at the vacant park near your apartment building but its much weirder that you can buy these type of serums on the internet. Although it requires a lot of secrecy, but still. Now this feels very illegal.

After he handed you your package, the man never said another word. It was impossible to tell who it was too since like you, he’s all covered. Well, if he’s going to illegally sell these meds he really needs to hide his identification.

He left afterwards. It was like as if he wasn’t even there. It makes you feel shivers down your spine and eyes dropped at the paperbag. Your heart thumps, remembering what it contains inside. You’re a little hesitant, makes you wonder if you should continue your plan or just back out.

But then Heeseung kept flashing inside your mind.

You decided to walk back to your apartment as it was late already and you shouldn’t encounter anyone. Nobody should know that you went out of your apartment at this time.

Once back inside, you went to the fridge and get your favorite drink. Thankfully, you stopped by the convenience store near your place before going home. You didn’t need to go there right now that can make you suspicious.

You have a simple plan. It’s not the best one you can come up with, but its better that way or not getting Heeseung at all.

First, you will wait for him at his usuall route back to his apartment. For some reasons, he take the shorter way near the park where you just got your package. He walks there whenever he doesn’t take his car because of practice.

They have rugby practice during tuesdays and thursdays. You’ll wait for him that day and quietly stalks behind him. That won’t be too hard because you’ve done it multiple times, he never caught on you. It’s either he's really dense or he’s just very tired from practice to even give a fuck.

While you stalk behind him, you will find the perfect timing to go close and point a knife on his side. You will threaten him to come with you or else you will hurt him.

A lot of contrasting thoughts occupies your mind, but you disregard all of them and stayed positive.

There’s just some minor problems. Sometimes, he walks with another friend. Another one is that since he’s very tall and obviously much well built than you, he’ll probably fight back, right? Will your plan even work? The last problem is that you have to make sure nobody will see it. His practice ends late, so he’ll probably walk home late as well.

The next day was wednesday and you’re planning to execute your plan tomorrow. They will have a practice and since the games are near, surely they will stay late. Mixed emotions while trying to prepare yourself for what's about to unfold.

“Ack!” your head unconsciously snaps over to the side after hearing someone shriek from the corner.

Three people are at the far side of it, making sure their presence will be unknown by any school officials. You kept staring and when you realized that Jay was one of the three, you let out a sigh. He’s probably bullying lower years once again.

He often loves playing pranks or occasionally makes fun of the lower batch. You slightly feel bad for them, but there’s really nothing you can do. Jay’s one of the most influential kids in your school. His family is very wealthy and have a lot of connections all over the town. It sure is a bad idea to go against him.

Just like other students, you turned blind-eye and just went on walking back to your classroom. Being observant gave you the ability to adapt to your surrounding and to avoid any way to get into people’s bad side.

Specially to Heeseung’s group of friends' bad side. They’re the most dangerous kids here if you’ll be very honest.

Starting off with Yang Jungwon. His father is the Governor. Being the younger son, his parents always favor him. Next is Jay, his father owns a big travels agency. He’s their only child too so that only means his parents will do anything for him.

Follows up to him is Jake Sim. His parents are both doctors and they own multiple Hospitals. They also own one of the biggest pharmaceuticals in the country. And you know what it means when your source of income aligns with health, it reeks of money. Health is wealth, that’s what they said. Well, he at least he do well in school unlike some of them. You’ll give him that.

Park Sunghoon. The first child of the owners of the biggest and most famous Law firm in the country. His father won a lot of big cases local and international. It was no doubt that he have the ability to manipulate the law itself in any way he wants. He’s a snobby one too.

Kim Sunoo is the youngest child of business tycoons. His parents owns big and well known commercial establishment all over the country. He’s no joke. Very spoiled as well and have a rude attitude. His face speaks for him whenever he look over people that are not on his level.

Nishimura Riki, middle child of said to be owners of Engineering and Architectural companies that said to be incharge of building the biggest establishments and also the roads of the country.

Lee Heeseung is just the same with the six of them. His parents owns an airline and is currently one of the three biggest in the country. He’s the youngest of the two sons and sure is spoiled rotten.

Their families are considered the most powerful and influential families in the town. They basically rule this place. Nobody, as in no soul dares to mess with them. Their kids, which is the seven gorgeous boys you just mentioned, were the ones that rules the school like their own playground.

The thought made you halt your step. Are you really gonna do that? You’re probably losing your mind at the moment. Lee Heeseung is the son of one of the most influential people in your town. There’s no way you could execute this plan properly, right? This is probably the worst idea.

But as if like the fate is playing jokes on you, just in time Lee Heeseung walks ahead of you. His familiar manly scent made it to your nose that instantly drawn you into a spell. A dangerous one.

Your eyes follows him while he walks confidently over the hallway of your building. His wide back and long legs sure is eye-catching as you watch students almost breaking their necks just to get a good glimpse of the said boy.

Still under that dangerous spell, you ignored all those thoughts and your decision to do what you planned ruled over the fear.

The next day came and you’re currently at a near convenience store to buy your favorite drink. You mindlessly grabbed one from the big fridge then walk towards the counter. Your eyes settles to the cashier boy that focuses on scanning your order as the familiar beep sound errupts from it.

“That’ll be 2000 won.” he mumbled softly. Your eyes are glued to him for some reason.

“Miss?” he calls you again that snapped you back to reality. It somehow made you feel shy for spacing out.

“U-Uh, yeah. I’m sorry.” you lowered your gaze to fish something from your wallet. As you grab your money, you kind of felt off.

“Here.” you placed the correct amount of payment and watch as how he slid the drink near you.

His fair complexion grabs your attention and it made you tilt your head to the side. You’ve been in this convenience store a lot and not once have you seen this person yet. Well, you can’t really tell who it was since he’s wearing a cap and mask. But his built and all is very unfamiliar, far from the people who you saw working here.

In the end, you realized that maybe the fact that you’ll be doing something illegal tonight makes you overthink alot. It makes you overanalyze everything. So you disregarded all those thoughts and just go to where you need to be.

Just like how you planned you waited patiently at the usual route Lee Heeseung takes whenever he has practice. Just near a vending machine, you crouched to hide yourself from his sight.

Exactly how you expects him to arrive, he did. There he is. Wearing a plain white t-shirt and his sweats while his big duffel bag hangs loosely over his body. Both of his hands are inside his pocket.

His tall figure kind of intimidates you, but there’s no chance of backing out at the moment. It’s better to take action right away.

When you’re about to walk towards him, he stops that made you stoned to your position. You carefully watch his movements and somehow expects him to turn around.

He didn’t. Instead, he started rummaging over his bag making him totally unaware of his surroundings. He’s so busy looking for whatever that thing he’s trying to get inside his bag. You silently cheered and advances near him to execute your plan.

A few steps away from him and you can already smell his addicting manly scent. Once you’re near enough, you stood behind and placed one of your hand at his shoulder. Your other hand holding the knife points over to his side, making sure it won’t hurt or bruise him.

“Don’t move.” you tried to hard to sound so intimidating.

You felt Heeseung tensing up and stiffened in front of you. His tall figure almost covers you from the view of people in front him. He didn’t said anything right away.

“What the...” he mumbles.

You take a deep breath. “Don’t even think of doing something funny.” you threatened again, pressing the knife more. Just so he can feel it and be scared of it. His head craned to the side so you know he’s now aware of the weapon you have.

“What do you need? Money? I can give you all of mine.” he casually said. He doesn’t even sound scared. You gulped, nervous now.

“I d-don’t need your money!”

He turned his head and was about to face you, but you pushed him over the shoulder to prevent it. He sighed and tilt his head. His large figre in front of you makes you feel dizzy.

“Start walking! Do as I say or I will seriously burry this knife on your side.”

He was silent for a while, unresponsive. You’re already worrying that he’s about to fight back, but thankfully he started walking towards the direction you’re guiding him.

“Where?” he asks, still sounding calm.

“To that building.” you said seriously and started guiding him inside.

The guard on patrol are probably out on a break so he's not on his usual spot by the entrance of the apartment building. Heeseung stayed silent until you reached the elevator.

You stretched your arm to press the floor button and met eyes with him through his reflection on the elevator doors. It made your heart race insanely fast. You kept your composure and went back on standing behind him, knife pressed on his side.

His eyes looked blank while staring silently at you. It made you shiver, but there’s no backing out anymore. If you showed him that you’re scared it will backfire on you.

“You know you’ll get arrested for this, right?” he asks calmly.

You know that very well. But you alreay lost your mind for him. Obsession sure is a dangerous thing, toxicating.

You ignored what he said and pushed his back so he can start walking again once you arrived at your floor. Since its already pretty late, the hallway was empty as expected so it was easier for you.

“Don’t make a sound.” you reminded him, knife still pressed at his side while you hold his one arm.

“What? Do you think I will scream like a fucking pussy?” his tone was full of sarcasm that completely caught you off-guard.

You’ve always know that he is confident and brave. But how come he can still be this arrogant despite a knife being pressed over him? Is he really this fearless? Or maybe he just don’t take you seriously.

“Watch your tone.” you hissed at him.

He craned his neck at the side and stared down at you. It was cold and blank. You shivered once again, but you kept a glare on him.

“Punch my code in.” and you started to dictate your pincode for him.

He surprisingly obliged without giving you a hard time and noticed how natural he looked pressing those numbers in. The door made a sound and you kicked it open before pushing him once again.

He didn’t say anything and just struts inside. His head moves side to side, scanning the whole room. You felt your cheeks flushing by realizing that Lee Heeseung is inside. Just by standing behind him and watching him awkwardly standing in the middle of your small living room, makes you realize that he look out of place because he’s so big.

Your apartment never look so small before.

“Sit down at the couch.” you ordered after snapping out of your trance.

He turned around to face you and cooly slid his hands back inside his pockets. He stared at you with his intense blank eyes.

“I said sit down!” you shouted, feeling worried that he will really fight back already.

To your surprise, Heeseung obliged with no complain. He sat down, occupying a large space to your almost worn out sofa. He stared at you, still with no words coming out from his sexy lips.

You started walking closer, his eyes following your movements. You gulped and pursed your lips before grabbing the handkerchief that has a chloroform. His eyes darted at it but remained silent.

“You won’t be hurt as long as you behave yourself.” you mumble and walked closer to him.

His head tilts to the side, the side of his lips lifts. “You have the guts.” he whispered but enough for you to hear.

You gulped and acted quickly pushed forward and covering his mouth and nose with the handkerchief. His hand reaches out for you and it felt so warm over your skin. He was trying to resist but you pour everything to keep him in place.

After a while, his movements became weak and his eyes started batting slowly. You cheer inwardly and smiles when he finally fall over to the sofa, unconscious.

You heaved a heavy sigh watching him knocked out. Slowly standing up and staring down at his sleeping state, a victory smile spreads across your face. Both of your hands raises up.

“It actually works!” you cheered, very cheeky.

You leaned closer and softly poked his cheeks to check if he's awake. When he’s not responding, you quickly grabbed the rope and tape you bought. Carefully you tied him up, making sure it won’t him too much.

After making sure he’s all secured, a big smile makes it way to your lips once again. You leaned towards him and can hear his calm breathing.

You chest thumped loudly and you can feel your whole system almost comvulsing in so much thrill. You can feel your throat drying up just by staring at his pretty face. Not once did you imagine being this close to him. Dreams do really come true.

When your finger touches his soft face, you retrieve it like as if you got burn by it. You bit your lower lip trying to suppress the big, crazy grin on your face.

“You’re really here with me.” you utter and giggled as you stood up.

Deciding to kill some time to wait for him to wake up again, you went to get your favorite drink so you can drink it. It’s a pre-celebration for actually executing your plan.

You have a big smile on your face as you drink from it. After that, you sat at the other sofa and opened the television to entertain yourself. You glanced over to Heeseung and giggled once again, seeing him sleeping cutely.

While watching this show, you can feel your eyes losing focus, your lids feeling heavier. You’re starting to doze off. Suddenly you feel so sleepy, but its different. Like it feels heavier, your body weighing tons.

As you slowly falls back to the couch, dozing off, before your eyes fully close you can see a shadow from the corner of the room. You don’t know if its just your hallucination or what, but you have no time to confirm since your eyes fully closed.

A figure slowly loomes closer to Heeseung’s body at the coach. His arm stretches with a knife and then he freed his arm and legs from the ropes you just tied him with. Heeseung’s eyes cracks open and it quickly darted at your direction.

“How long will she be out?” He asks his friend after he took off the tape on his mouth.

“If Sunoo did inject the right dosage I told him, two to three hours.” Jake informs him and even glanced at the drink they just spiked.

Their head snaps at the door when it opened revealing Sunoo with Jungwon. Sunoo’s still on his uniform from the convenience store and Jungwon with his hoodie and sweatpants. Their brows furrowed hardly.

“How is he awake?” Sunoo wonders, referring to their friend.

Heeseung teared his eyes from them and struts closer to your position.

“He just pretended to pass out.” Jungwon concluded, putting two and two together. Sunoo nods and roams his eyes around the place.

Sunghoon, Jay and Ni-ki finally arrives and they’re all wearing their hoodies and sweatpants. Some of them wears caps.

“Did you handle the apartment manager?” Jake asks.

Jay nods his head, smirking. “That sum of money is enough for him to shut his mouth. Nobody will know we’ve been here.”

“I also made sure no one’s around the neighborhood saw.” Ni-ki mumbles while eyeing his eldest hyung crouching in front of your unconscious body. His hand carefully stretches to reach for you, gently brushing some hair away from your face.

“Irish won’t say a thing too. I returned her card pass for this building.” Sunghoon says and tilts his head. “What did you even do to her, hyung? You scared the shit out of her.” he chuckles lightly and roams around your small apartment.

“You don’t want to know.” Jake smirks and glanced at his hyung.

Heeseung is silent while staring at your unconscious body. A small evil smile spreads across his face before he slid his arms to carry you.

“You’re going to keep her here?” Jungwon asks then he knocks on the wall. “The wall’s too thin.”

Heeseung shakes his head side to side.

“I’m taking her home with me.” he heaved a sigh, calming himself down.

“I’m finally taking you home with me, baby.” he whispers down at your sleeping body.

permanent tag-list:

@rubyanne @map-of-border @hwangjangmi @love13tter @candewlsy @simpforniki @classicroyalty @hime98 @moonsclassyslore @ddeonubaby @yeoungie @acciomylove @mymeloem19 @jvngw0n @dreamjerky @minamoons @clar-iii @herasalvatore @nyfwyeonjun @rcveribin @yizhoutv @one16core @soobin-chois @kyutiepeachy @chareadingpurposes @hwalllllllelujah @solelyenha @90sni-ki @nourhan-8 @nikipedia07 @yangbreads @drunkjazed @axartia @all4haru @sta-rie @purplepuppychild @iceeee @wtfhyuck @tobiosbbyghorl @nikililmj @ayayiiie @aeyeree @heeseung-min @in-somnias-world @psh-pjh @hveanlyanqelic

[squeenixjunkie]

okay. SO. I was asked for zakkura fix recs and it's easier for me to screenshot and some of these look like they haven't been read bc of the link color but it's because I read them without being logged in and I had to find them, and others are some that I want to read but haven't yet I'll clarify which ones and yes my ao3 is pink now LET'S GO BITCHES

this right here is like the iconic zakkura fic, it grabs you by the soul and gets the character absolutely perfectly imo and decides to throw you from wall to wall in the feels 10/10 I know most of the tags are sex related and the sex is great but it's not all smut folks it's fucking gut wrenching and really cool in its execution and somehow even the smut is still emotional and hits you in the feels like wtf how? anyway good read

now! if parched rivers run isn't up your alley in Zack fair lives au mayhaps bc of the sex tags, this one is equally amazing and wonderful and splendiferous in its own way absolutely phenomenal it had me making fanart at a goddamn church retreat and it has the same premise as the one above in its own unique way that makes me scream and I read this on a flip phone my thumbs were hurting so much rough times man it was worth it absolute banger of a fic

I love this one so goddamn much it's as good as a zakkura coffee shop au gets and it's one of the first zakkura fics I ever read I love it I love it I love it very good

for the True Experience of this fic you're gonna wanna read it twice because you'll be so on the edge of your seat wondering what the fuck is going on and like I put in the bookmark no matter where you think it's going you're WRONG and once you finish you're gonna wanna read it again so that you can catch all the stuff that was THERE ALL ALONG but you missed oml it's so good absolutely wild ride from start to finish there's a lot of stuff that isn't tagged tho! bc it would seriously spoil the fic, BUT do not fret, the author leaves stuff in the notes just in case something might not be up your alley or you need to know something ahead of time MY HEART RATE WAS SO HIGH THROUGHOUT THIS FIC IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY (it is actually but god this author is amazing it scratched an itch in my brian i didn't know I needed fucking awe inspiring)

it's been a while since I read this one and I don't remember v well what happens but what I DO remember is how it made me feel, which was keyboard smash incarnate and it was very wonderful

another 5+1 things, this one is a oneshot it's so lovely the writing is great from what I remember I think I do remember what happens in this but I'm not sure if I'm getting it mixed up with something else since it's been a while but I remember it being sweet and a balm to my soul

mmmmmhhhhhhh this one broke me I love their Zack so much it handles him so well after all the shot this man has been through and his unwavering loyalty to Cloud UGH it's a good oneshot

this one is so cute and silly! there's a point in the fic where it said that after the second half or so it's not going to have that same vibe and will utterly wreck you and personally I wasn't ready for that so I took the author's word for it and stopped reading there but what I DID read made me so happy and giggly and maybe you'll read the whole thing if you do then lmk what you thought of it!

this is in my marked for later and it looks super cute

can't say much because it's in my marked later but cmon man look at that summary and it says happy ending so I don't have to worry let's gooo

there's one more that I'll have to reblog to get on here because I hit the 10 image limit

[rootandrock]

So... that incubator? I bought it partially on credit shortly before that post bemoaning the price. And then I bemoaned the price because of the price. And the buyer's remorse, and the panic. And then I felt like a damned idiot.

Doing things you've never done before is scary as hell. And when that involves little living critters AND a pretty thick chunk of change? Yeeeahhhh... sometimes you have a total meltdown about it, and that's okay.

Anyway... for those who pitched in and those who sent kind wishes... thank you. It really helped settle my BS, it really helped to knock down the tab I owe, and the price turned out to be worth it. This is how I spent my Solstice. I had a fantastic hatch rate, despite my inexperience and flailing panic.

I can't express the genuine gratitude I feel. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.

The few quitters (eggs that partially developed and stopped) will be given back to the land just as soon as I'm sure they've truly opted out of hatching. The spent shells go into the compost. The cycle continues.

Look at this little creature with its little goth eyeliner. That's just too damned cute.

*no posts about these guys will be tagged with or include the uncensored name of what type of animal they are so that pet owners don't find it. If you reblog this or any other post about them that I make please respect that as well. I don't want it to upset or bother anyone, nor do I wish to be upset or bothered by others.

[athena-swords]

🎊 Gifts for our NEW YEAR 🎊

PAC

Disclaimer: people I am doing this in all seriousness and all and no it's not for entertainment purposes but ya collective readings so take what resonates

Pile 1. Pile2.

Pile 3. Pile4.

Pile 1❄️❄️🤍

We keep this love in photographs, so if you wanna buy cameras or just capture moments please go ahead and buy it it will give you lots of joy pile 1 new year could be looking as just any new year coming but you know that things are gonna change and maybe the people you are close with now will have to move and you too to other places so cherish this moments.Are you all joining colleges??or like your graduation is being done anyway congrats wishing you absolutely the best .

Maybe you will take the road less taken which will have its own uncertainty but for sure it's gonna be so worth it ,okay first of all whatever type of exams or test you are planning for they gonna give you your desired or expected results and you could be seeing true faces of your close mates and if you feel that you get easily evil eye or affected by others energies don't worry your guides are there to protect you ,this year you could have on issue in financial matter you are being in open to receive energy I see a energetic shit around you and you actually coming into limelight (attention song being played)you definitely should check your solar return chart could bein fire asc sign ok

And I am seeing or more of sensing lot's of puppy love energy so ya talking stages could happen and you ending up liking someone all over just enjoy your "up in the poppy hills" movie vibe so here comes the end of a eventful year wishing you all the best guys take care 💓

Oracle cards: Give it sometime approx 3 to 4 months,the more you live the less you worry,luck is in your favour,My gurl is the prettiest,Be careful with the people you choose

Please comment on your 2024 wishes and reblog means alot

Pile 2❤️‍🩹🥀

Some of you could be getting married or just getting your"THE ONE" for you if you wanted to meet your soul tribe and have been manifesting some wholesome human bond well I am pleased to tell you , you're making some lifetime connections this year , lots of self care products buying specifically perfumes and scented products if 2023 has been the pain the upcoming one will heal all those wounds and the word hork you thought no one saw wanna check some parts of pile 1?? I would recommend there could be a message for you there

Look you need to stop procrastinating!!!like if we wand our desires to turn into reality we need to put some action okkk and studyyyyy like when you study just put your focus on it if need then gurl you have to read it again n ugh that's more tiring.being more organised and balance is always a gift for you this year and a quote for you is "sometimes rejection is protection in disguise"so just jio lol even if it's your lala world I just said a paradox bit don't come to me fantasy and reality just need a little balance and we are good with it.

If you love gloomy weather then congrats you could experience it alot this year.I think you tend to underestimate your intuition and when it turns out right you regret so this year all about working on this and believing ourselves more then others 💗💗

Oracle cards: make a priority list,oh lala it's a love story, it's a yes, please zindagi jiyo baba...,study remember it's "you reap what you sow".

Please comment on your 2024 wishes and reblog means alot

Pile 3📸🦋

My Roman Empire is..... Idk lol.So travels travels and lots of travels in the list 😸 are you planning to fulfill your bucket list or something kya pile 3 anyway you could start talking again with a dear one with whom you could have stopped interacting or cut ties.Having a reunion of some kind being on backpack this could be the highlight of your year sudden plans being made you shifting family dynamics being changed

You again starting to learn alottt like an instrument, occult knowledge,your ancestors, about the world human body and many moreee.Having watermelon with closed ones on a beach or family farm haa such a vibe and keeping your room clean so it does not look like a messy place

Honestly I don't want to touch this past but somewhere along the line if you started feeling that it's hard uk to be happy like genuinely feel so content of life and kinda just at the starting stage of depression well this year is gonna prove your fact so wrong love muah muah have my love ok💓💓

On a side note your Cooking is good please try more

Oracle cards: Are you pretending love,the fingers create magic , living life king size , friends are the bigger enemy.

Please comment on your 2024 wishes and reblog means alot

Pile 4🪴🦓

Headache ahh you could be having them a bit this year ya but but it's because of all the packed schedule you need to get done with which you will be doing for not overthinking about "this" situation of yours someone from past could come back now it's upto you what you will do with them (it seems romantic connection btw).

Do you put this "I don't care" attitude I see you gotta change this one as there will be things you have to be responsible for alot this year.Emotionally you could be working on yourself listening to podcasts and actually making opinions of yours not just blindly following whatever is being said .you confused about something?? honestly sameee sorry for this just that your biggest gift could be knowing yourself more and handling just how you show yourself to the world

Oracle cards: posh lifestyle,lose yourself a little bit, it's not worth it,it worth trying,you know the answer

Please comment on your 2024 wishes and reblog means alot

Wishing you all a very happy New year 🧿🧿🤍

Pls message me my ishman fam i need someone to talk about them 🤌🤌

[sleepanonymous]

I was just gonna reblog the original "hey look I am toe-to-toe with this tiny ass stage" post I made, but I have a Mother Token face reveal + marriage proposal video to share with you all below the cut 👇

So some good news first, my ears are fine. Zeal & Ardor got a little loud near the end but, I had no ringing or tinnitus and no noticeable hearing loss. I had watched some videos of Zeal & Ardor and Gaerea on the East Coast from earlier on this tour, and the videos seemed fucking loud 🤷‍♀️ Not complaining, it was still great.

Backing up a few hours: my original plan was to get to the venue around 2-2:30 pm. I started getting ready around 1 pm, thinking that should give me enough time (venue was a 4 minute walk from my hotel). Turns out faking a '90s-style blow-out with a flat iron takes 3 times longer than just straightening your hair 🤷‍♀️ Who would have guessed? Anyway, after that and makeup and having a mini crisis about my outfit, I ended up going to the venue around 4 pm; 2 hours before doors. I must have PTSD from Sleep Token or something because I was expecting a full line but I ended up being #9.

Two Sleep Token girlies got in line behind me, but I was too shy to try talking to them really until later on. One of them, plus about three or four people in front of me, had a VIP meet/greet with Gaerea. About an hour before doors, a rep for that band came out and collected the people with those tickets and got shirt sizes and all that and I figured "okay, cool, he's gonna bring them into the venue an hour early." NOPE. Senhor Vocalist just fuckin waltzes out two minutes later to meet everyone. Like, I can't explain it because I haven't seen his face before but I recognized him instantly by his shoulders (then later by his tattoos). I made really fucking awkward eye contact with him and then decided the only safe place to look was the railing outside the venue. Anyway he greeted everyone really quick, then walked back inside for a minute, came back with the guitarist, and then the rest of the band joined them after another moment. Then the band just walked off with the VIPers and those fans didn't come back until doors already opened.

After the ID/ticket check, we lined up on the opposite side of the venue and I ended up at #5 in line (after letting the remaining Sleep Token girlie cut me, since she went in to use the restroom). They let us in right at 6 pm and I was the second one to the stage, standing right next to the first guy in line at center stage, which was literally only 2 feet tall btw. I had looked up photos of the venue online and it's literally worse (or better depending on personal perspective) in person.

The first band, Zetra, played us about an hour's worth of Mortiis music between doors and their set, which quite literally is DnD dungeon music. 10/10 do recommend, very vibes, much atmosphere. The duo themselves were amazing, and I realized after the fact that Sleep Token's manager plus Lyns (Espera) follow them so 👀

Halfway through Zetra's set, I realized the guy next to me was taking photos, so I worked up the courage to film two of their songs. I felt super awkward about it because I was three feet away from the guitarist. Afterward, he came out in a jumpsuit after the set to help break down, but was still in full corpse paint and had his hair stuffed into a baseball cap. He chatted with the front row a tiny bit as he worked and he’s super nice and funny 🥹

Right before Gaerea went on, a girl with a media badge squeezed in between me and the other guy at center stage for the first two songs. I'm still trying to find her social media because she got tons of great shots and some footage. Meanwhile, me on the other hand, got three and a half chaotic videos that consist mostly of Senhor Vocalist's groin 😭 Like, ISTG Senhor, I'm not trying to film your crotch, its just that I cannot hold my phone any higher (would literally be shoved in his face) or lower (I wouldn't be able to see my phone screen) 😭😭 About 75% of the time this happened I would panic and film the guitarists and bassist or the drummer. Aaand then the video below happened 🤩

I guess we are legally married now 🤷‍♀️ idk I don't make the rules. Anyway, hi, that's me, making major heart eyes for like 3 frames. You can also see the Sleep Token girlies right behind me. In my search for the media girl's profile, I actually found one of their TikToks instead: thecottagecorehore

Even though I was in the front row (I keep wanting to say barricade but there was no barricade lol) it got really hot between Gaerea and Zeal & Ardor. Like I was regretting wearing a turtleneck sweater (Yeah that was my panic outfit, black turtleneck + 90’s hair + ripped skinny jeans + platform oxford shoes because I am insane). It didn't cool down either, half the guys around me plus Zeal & Ardor were drenched in sweat halfway through. Didn't affect their stage presence at all though; Manuel is actually very smiley/giggly and it made everything a million times better. Actually, the fake setlist gives you a pretty good idea of the vibes:

Wake of a Nation Götterdämmerung So yeah this is a fake setlist And if you're reading it and we will play some songs you like it Thanks for coming to the show ☠️WOW NEAT☠️ We like to call the song To My Ilk Turbo Milk Do you like our joke Encore Garbage Thanks Phoenix Love Zeal and Ardor Clawing Out

Vessel should take notes 😂 I appreciate Sleep Token being upfront about the Teeth of God setlist and not trying to hide it from the fans on the barricade, but imagine if we got something like : "Oh bugger, this is a fake setlist. Cheers!"

Also Manuel's water bottle sticker says Defend Equality 🖤

I uploaded a few videos to YouTube already. Depending on my data usage, I might upload a few more at the end of the month/next month.

[the-dark-parade]

WARNINGS! THIS STORY CONTAINS... angst + fluff + lilia×fem reader

A/N: Dear souls, my apologies. I have not finished the previous fic yet, and I'm already starting in the next. For the moment, that is paused. Yet again, I hope my work pleases you. If you are not comfortable with this, feel free to leave. If you would like a version with male reader instead, please request it. Likes, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated.

(inspired by @solxamber so you should def read their stories)

Now, the parade completely skips its first destination, and goes to the second!

Part 1,

THE RANT. and how hell began

(if only I didn't read that story...)

-----

"So girlie pop, have you SEEN the new fic going around lately? Like I've been going cray cray over it, and I swear, it's worth it!" My friend gushed, then proceeding to send you the link to it on AO3.

You internally rolled my eyes, already knowing that it's definitely going to be shit. She always does this, recommending you things that are 'top tier' just for them to have 0 kudos or comments other than the one she gives.

You sighed, thinking of just humoring her...

You hoped for the nth time that this wasn't another one of those random shitty fics she found in the sea of fanfictions.

So you clicked open the link.

And guess what you found?

You found the one, the only, (well not the one and only, but you get the gag) the shittest fanfiction of shit fanfiction.

Not the shittest of the shittest, but the writing kinda was.

There were spelling mistakes and bad grammar and usually you would be fine with that. As an experienced A03 and manga reader, you already prepared yourself for such things. But there was at least one. Every. Ten. Words. Or less.

It drove you crazy. And don't even get started on the plot.

Magical fantasy. It's a magical fantasy, you get that right? And by the way, it's medieval. Not that it's a bad thing, you love that troupe!

(live laugh love medieval novels)

BUT.

BUT!!!

Why... WHY WERE THERE FUCKING BOMBS AND MECHANICAL ENGINEERING BLOODY TANKS AND NUCLEAR BOMBS?!?!

Like what the fuck-

Ahem.

Anyways, the main gist of it was that you have the POV of the main character whose name is not even mentioned at all! At all!!

Like you'll think there would be at least 1 scene where it pops out but spoiler alert! It doesn't.

And he's called, what, the Knight of Dawn? The Dawn Knight?!

What kind of cringy-ahhh name and title is that?!

Like okay man, I get that you're being emotionally manipulated by Mr. Humpty Dumpty fatty pants WHOSE NAME WAS EVEN MENTIONED.

"Henrick Istvan" more like a Hen-ick isn't van. Simply disgusting.

You just have to applaud the author's skill for writing horrible characters.

Manipulator, ugly, fat (not fat-shaming he's just that ugly and fat), too ambitious, etc etc etc.

The Knight of Dawn - you're just calling him KOD cause why not - life was absolute hell.

For this guy and his guy, he fought the faes. He went head on to fight the faes and battle in the war as the war commander on the first lines.

He fought, trained, sharpened his weapon, cut down his enemies, maybe some spicy times with his wife, but that was all.

His personality was so...

He forgave Humpty Dumpty for disrespecting and guilt tripping him so many times, so much that you would puke rainbows and sunshines like he was in the story by now!

Classic "too kind and innocent" main character.

All in all, that book was absolutely shit. It was so repetitive, yet you couldn't stop myself from clicking the next chapter.

Well, you suppose there was another reason too, and that said reason was how the chapter flipped to the faes point of view every few chapters.

They were.. much, much, much crueller than the KOD.

But it was natural, knowing they were the villains in the story.

Yet your heart couldn't help but to get drawn to them every word, dynamic, expression and behaviour they said and did.

You may have gotten obsessed with the right hand man of the main villain herself, but switching topics...

And what came next was absolutely jaw-dropping. And not in a good way.

After the tanks came, soon they made a bomb.

A BOMB.

A LITERAL, ACTUAL, BOMB.

And of course, the enemies were wiped out.

The book ended anticlimactically.

The buildup, the plot devices, everything!

All gone.

Man, what was the author thinking?!

And then the story ended there.

RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

From that, you had gotten SO ANGRY that your blood pressure spiked, and-

...

...

...am I dreaming?

This is an unfamiliar ceiling.

A/N: dear souls, stay tuned for part 2! Thank you for reading if you read.

[thurio-edau]

hey everyone! this is my birthday and i'm so happy to celebrate it. yep, june 12th. it was an average day but im still happy that my friends celebrated!

ok blake (half) face reveal

THIS PICTURE IS MONTHS OLD ISTG AND I LOOK 12 Y.O BUT I SWEAR IM 16 😭 BUT ITS THE ONLY ACTUAL PIC I HAVE OF MYSELF CUZ I NEVER TAKE PICS OF MYSELF OK AND I LOOK LIKE A FUCKBOY (idek if i look like a boy) BC I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO TAKE PICS SO MY FRIENDS SAID 'TAKE IT FROM THE MIRROR' AND I WORE A MASK CUZ IM SO FUCKING INSECURE

IM CLOSING THE REBLOGS FOR THIS CAUSE I MIGHT DELETE THE PIC IN THE FUTURE--

anyway.

the reason why this day is so important goes beyond just this. trigger warning for the things ahead, it's okay if you don't read it, i'm just really glad i could celebrate my birthday with such positivity! it's just that there are huge reasons why i'm really glad to be celebrating my birthday.

alright, serious story here.

the reason why it's so special is because i planned it three months ago. i planned my birthday. to end it all today. to end it before even reaching adulthood, i decided i couldn't go on and i was going to take my last breath. i couldn't take it. it was so heavy, it was a burden to live. and i decided my birthday would be such a fun day to end it all. before i graduate, before i become an age with irreversible responsibilities, before i have a chance to grow up. before i can have a life.

but i met life changing people. both on here and other platforms. it's like i have multiple found families :)

and with my friends on another place, we planned my future. yes, i will have a future. if i believe everyone deserves a chance to live, a chance to turn all this around, then that should apply to me too and i should also deserve a second chance. to LIVE. not SURVIVE. i have survived all my life and im so fucking tired of it. i only need to survive for two more years, then i can actually live. i haven't lived in my life. had a fucked up childhood, in a fucked up environment, in a fucked up country under fucked up conditions. and i have to change this if i want to live.

in two years i will immigrate. i will have a safe place, in a safe country, around safe people, and a safe university. i will have a safe family, a found family. i will have a safe future. i will see therapy for ptsd, bpd, sh and i will try to recover from ed. i will transition. i will be alive. i will come back to life as the actual person i am.

i just have to keep on for two more years. then i will take the international english exam to be able to immigrate and hopefully fly to my found family. my biological family will reject me, i know. but my found family won't. thank you so much for being here in my journey. i want to make it through and survive for two more years just so i can live. i have survived for sixteen years. i can survive for two more.

i have that strength.

i am strong.

i deserve to live.

i am worth going on.

i don't deserve to end it all.

no one deserves that. and i can survive.

i have that strength.

so thank you everyone <3 for helping me realize a lot of things. just by existing, just by leaving a single comment, just by sending a single message, you guys helped me save my life. you guys saved my life. and thanks to you, i am alive today. my three months of planning went to 'waste', but now i will have two years to plan a future. a life. a life worth living.

thank you <3

-ya boy, Blake.

[wolfstarshipping]

Some non-ao3 Wolfstar Fic Recs for while ao3 is down

Hi so this is just a quick impromptu fic rec list, because ao3 has been down, so I thought a short rec list with fics that are hosted on other sites might come in handy while we all patiently wait for the amazing volunteers at ao3 to defend the site against the hackers. Also, I've seen several posts saying this and just want to add my voice, I think if you have the money to do so, giving a bit of it to ao3 would be a great thing to do, when the site is back up and running.

Okay enough of that, let's get into the list, in no particular order, these are just some of my older wolfstar faves off the top of my head, probably most of them are going to be fics I have recced on this blog before but I'm a firm believer that there is no such thing as too much enthusiasm, especially when it comes to fandom.

The Shoebox Project

If you ever thought about wanting to read the Shoebox Project but were intimidated by its length (or by all the separate pdf files), maybe now it is time to reconsider? It's an absolute wolfstar classic, it will make you laugh, it will make you cry, it will give you all the marauders and wolfstar feels you could ever want! For me, when asked for just one wolfstar/marauders fic rec this is always the one I would give.

The Door through the World

Okay you didn't expect me to write a fic rec list of older wolfstar fics and not mention this one, did you? This is the 2nd fic I will always and forever rec, a magical realism AU (kind of), the story is pure magic. I found that it is still accessible via webarchive, even though it is hosted on ao3.

remuslives23 Masterlist

Here is remuslives23's masterlist, on livejournal. They've written so many great fics, Muse in particular is one of my favorites (a muggle, artist AU), but the whole list is worth checking out!

picascribit on ff.net

Picascribit also posts all of their fics on ff.net, and I think I've recced most of their longer wolfstar fics on this blog over the years already anyways but two of my personal favorites are Highland Fling (a muggle AU set in Scotland) and Discards (a muggle AU set in Seattle with trans!Sirius), but I love all of their fics!

wolfstarwarehouse's ff.net rec list

wolfstarwarehouse posted a ff.net rec list in 2016, I remember reading All Kidding Aside and To Kiss a Bloke off that list back then, I don't think I've read the other fics but maybe now is the time for me to check them out!

Beekeeping in the Daylight podfic

Beekeeping in the Daylight is a wonderful muggle AU by halictus-writer and there is now a podfic by itsaash with a non-ao3 download link.

Alright I think I'll post this now and if I think of any more I'll just add them or make a part 2. If you have any faves you'd add to this list or if you're a writer who also posts somewhere else except ao3 feel free to add yours as a reblog or comment, so the list gets longer! <3

[starstruckloves]

⟢ The Best Day

Synopsis: It's James and Wisp's wedding day! Though, both are worried about it going wrong only to be reassured.

Notes: another commission for @jamesgengarfiance !!!! its always lovely working with u, thank u so much !!!! reblogs r appreciated !!!!

if ur interested in a commission, they're right here !!!!

Divider by @/saradika-graphics

The day was finally happening. After all the planning, negotiations, and payments, they were finally here. Wisp looked over himself in his dressing room. This was going to be the happiest day of his life… so why was he so nervous?

The door to his dressing room suddenly burst open, causing him to jump as his name was called in an over dramatic, sing-song tone, “Wisp!” He immediately flipped around, knowing who it was upon hearing her.

“Jessie— I could have been changing. Why didn’t you knock?”

She paid no attention to his worries, shutting the door behind her. “Oh, I knew you weren’t, it’s fine!” She moved over to him, her purple dress trailing behind her. “You look amazing! Do you remember where you got your suit from? I need to get back in contact with them.”

Wisp looked down at himself, looking over his purple suit with red and black accents, three gold chains attached vertically down the front. “Oh, thank you. And uh— I don’t know right now. Got a lot on my mind.” He gave a nervous chuckle, his gaze drifting back to the mirror. Jessie’s smile slowly faltered, following his gaze and giving a little “hmph”.

She placed her hands on his shoulders, looking at his through the mirror. “What’s wrong?”

“Just uh…” Wisp paused, giving a little sigh, “Just wedding jitters, I guess.”

“You’re not getting cold feet, are you?”

“No, of course not! I’m very excited.” he reassured, his gaze not daring to meet hers just yet, “I’m just a bit nervous is all. We’ve spent so long planning this— What if something goes wrong?”

Jessie hesitated for a moment, her eyebrows furrowing a bit before accidentally letting a chuckle or two escape. Wisp tilted his head up at her, confusion written over his face. She was quick to notice. “Sorry, sorry. I’m not laughing at you, trust me. I just find it funny how similar you and James are. You both are so worried over today being the best day ever but, even if something goes wrong, you're still getting married, aren’t you? You still love each other, yeah?”

“Well… yeah, of course.”

“Then it’s gonna be the best day anyways as long as you two are together, right?” Jessie’s eyes drifted back to the mirror, causing Wisp’s to follow. “Don’t worry so much. If you worry yourself to death, you're only gonna associate it negatively. And you don’t want that, do you?” She was pretty used to figuring out what to say when she dealt with James so her advice was almost second nature.

Wisp shrunk in on himself a bit, his gaze drifting off to the side. “No.”

Jessie was quick to notice, sighing before placing her hands on his shoulders. “Chin up now. Everything is going to be fine, okay? You have no reason to pout. You both are looking great and I planned everything so things would go smoothly.”

Jessie prided herself in getting their wedding together. After hearing that the two of them didn’t really have a wedding planner yet— nor really even a cohesive idea— she stepped up to bat in doing the heavy lifting for them. Despite her not having any prior experience, they agreed because it was cheaper than hiring one and, for what it’s worth, she did have a great sense in at least fashion. Oh, and she’d also be stern enough with staff to get shit done.

After a deep breath in and out, Wisp nodded, a gentle smile coming to his face. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Jess.”

“I’m right more often than you think. Now, the ceremony is in a few minutes. Get finished up and when you hear the music, walk out and to the aisle. We’ll be waiting on the beach.” Jessie seemed to hesitate for a moment before her smile brightened. “You’re gonna do great.”

She soon left, the two saying their momentary goodbyes before Wisp took a few more minutes to collect himself, making any last minute adjustments while in thought. He wasn’t sure why he was so worried something was gonna happen but Jessie was right. She wouldn’t plan for something to go wrong, she was thorough like that.

Soon, he heard it. A slow, sweet melody floating through the air that eventually made its way towards his dressing room. It blended perfectly among the waves in the background, leaving him with a sense of calm. He took a final deep breath before walking out from his dressing room and onto the beach. Down the wooden stairs was a mix of red and white rose petals scattered about, leading all the way to the reception area. He tried not to squint at the setting sun, starting his walk. Some of the audience had turned around, already spotting him with “oohs” and “ahhs”. His face burned at the sound of their amazement, finally reaching a white carpet. Rows of chairs and people were on the sides, his eyes following the carpet and hanging lights. Balloons decorated the aisle as well, some purple gengar themed and some white and ones as well. He noticed Meowth and Jessie on opposite sides under an arch of flowers at the end, both standing in for best man and bridesmaid respectively, but the most important thing that caught his eye was James.

At the start of all this, they had agreed to keep their outfits for the wedding secret but Wisp didn’t expect anything like this. He had a white suit on with a golden chain with buckles on the front and a ruffle near the chest area, a black cape also on the back attached to his shoulders. His heart nearly stopped in his chest, stunned and staring down at James with these wide eyes. He looked beautiful.

The two caught each other's gaze, their awe mutual before a bouquet of white and purple roses was practically shoved into Wisp’s hands. His eyes darted down, spotting the Wobbuffet that peered up at him, his eyes seemingly encouraging despite being closed. Wisp whispered a thank you before starting to slowly walk down the aisle, his gaze catching the people around him. It wasn’t a big turn out but it was the people he cared about so he didn’t see it as a loss in his eyes.

He soon reached the end, handing the flowers off to Jessie behind him before his gaze returned to James. The two simply stared at each other for a little, the officiant, Professor Oak— surprisingly certified—, talking at the podium beside them but they were barely listening. James’ eyes were all glossy, Wisp slowly reaching that point before the professor said something to catch their attention.

“We will now be renewing the vows. Wisp, how about you start us off?”

“Oh, uh—” he paused, a bit caught off guard but he nodded regardless. He soon cleared his throat, his eyes to the ground so he could focus. With a breath, he started, “I don't even know where to start. I don't know how to compile everything I love about you into one vow because there's so many things I love— So many memories we've cherished. Like our first date in the park or the countless times you've helped me when I was down. I can't just cherry pick something to talk about because, well, how could I pick one thing about something so perfect?”

A small silence filled the area before Wisp slowly looked up to find tears streaming down James’ face. He was obviously trying to hold them back though, sniffles and hiccups leaving him before finally wiping his tears with a handkerchief in his breast pocket. Professor Oak soon cleared his throat, gesturing over to James. Finally, James started his vows.

“Being in this relationship with you, my dear Wisp, has been the best time of my life. I couldn't imagine anything better, your presence merely lighting up my day. My life used to be so grey before I found you. I feared I would be stuck at home forever, paired with someone I didn't even like but... then I found you, my purple hue... You saved me.”

Wisp nearly found himself in the same boat as James, his eyes brimming with tears as he felt his heart warm in his chest. Feeling so loved, so needed… It was everything he needed to hear.

Through their tears, they continued the ceremony. From down the aisle, a tiny “Wobbuffet” could be heard. Wobbuffet soon shuffled down the carpet, a pillow with both rings in hand. As he reached the couple, they both grabbed the opposite’s ring. Wisp studied the ring for James for a moment, looking over the white design with a red “R” on the front.

“Wisp,” Professor Oak started, “Do you take James to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you both part?”

Wisp peered back up at James, holding eye contact for a few moments. It’s like he was getting butterflies again just like the first time they’d gotten together. With a smile, he spoke, “I do.”

Professor Oak went through his whole thing once more, soon leaving the question hanging in air for James this time. James’ smile only widened, agreeing without any hesitation, “I do.”

Carefully, they both held their left hands out, taking turns placing their wedding rings onto each other’s fingers, their fingers brushing up against the other’s knuckles, a spark running through their veins. Finally, the couple held hands, James’ gaze lingering over their rings before Professor Oak finally finished off the ceremony with, “I now pronounce you, husbands. You may kiss your husband.”

James’ didn’t waste any time, his hands wrapping around Wisp’s waist before gently pulling him in with shut eyes to kiss him. Wisp followed suit, his eyes fluttering shut as his arms wrapped around his neck, his stomach in a whirr of fireworks and butterflies. Cheers erupted from the crowd, whistling and “awwwhs” and all the likes. James momentarily pulled away but not far, only leaving a couple centimeters before whispering against his lips, “I’ve been waiting for this moment with you,” before diving back in, causing a flustered sounding noise to slip from Wisp’s lips, though it was muffled. Eventually, the two separated but kept close to one another as they walked back down the aisle, off to the after party.

The after party was just about as fun as the actual ceremony. Witnessing their friends dancing and having fun after a special day really made it all ten times better. Though, the couple soon grew a tad tired, Wisp sitting at one of the tables they’d set up before James came to join him. He leaned over, resting on Wisp’s shoulder which caused him to softly laugh, their hands grasping together under the table. Absent-mindedly, James’ thumb ran over the purple ring on Wisp’s finger, his shoulders relaxing. The comfort was wordless but sweet nonetheless.

Maybe Jessie was right about more things than he thought. No matter how this day could have gone, it was still the best day of his life.

[thedomesticanthropologist]

I'm sensing such tension in the Fandom, almost Jealousy that SpawnStarion doesn't get to be a bat, or the need to double down on how it's not worth it anyway, or even so far as to be mad at the devs for making Ascension attractive

And then some Ascended Fans getting uppity that people who only like the Spawn ending are trying to enjoy the Bat Scene anyway to the point of telling them they don't deserve to draw and write about it if they condemn the ending, or even to come up with headcanons of how Spawn could be a bat various ways

Here's a brief heads up:

Back tf off each other

It's your desire for one ending to be "right" or "morally correct" that is making this an issue

I, personally, enjoy storytelling. There seems to be some confusion about people like me who simply enjoy the content produced, and enjoy the Fandom interpretations, even ones that DIRECTLY contradict each other. After all, how can you possibly just enjoy things without drawing lines in the sand and making matching t-shirts and shaking your fist at anyone who prefers different things?

Goodness gracious, ya'll.

For me, I hate the idea of Astarion killing himself when Tav dies, right? I've talked about that before. But I'll JUST NOT READ THE FANFICS or reblog the art. It's that easy. I don't go into people's posts and criticize them or yell at them or tear them down. If I talk about it it's in my space on my blog and I strongly emphasize that if I annoy you you're welcome to block me 🚫 if it makes you feel better.

You cannot police Fandom. You will not win, you'll just create division

Make your space, find your people, discuss things and enjoy, it's OK to be critical in your space, it's OKAY TO LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS YOU DONT LIKE and it's OKAY for you to NOT understand why they enjoy things.

There is no "WIN FOR THE SPAWN TEAM" OR "WIN FOR ASCENDED FANS" because it's not supposed to be a tally-able thing, it's supposed to show the outcome of different choices and its this desire to black-and-white morality the whole thing that is getting people up in arms and even going after Larian for not making Ascended more of a punishment or Spawn more of a blatantly "good ending"

I love that the storytelling is so complex people can't clearly settle as a group. It's great. It means there's enough content to make people THINK and investigate and study and enjoy different angles and interpretations.

What I don't like is seeing people online going after each others throats because they need to be right so badly that they get personally offended to the point of lashing out at other human beings over it.

It's silly. Y'all're silly.

[starry622]

HI!! Your reblog was too long but i wanted to answer it :D thanks for the observations /gen

I LOVEEEEE long reblogs, like, analyzing my art or anything i love hearing what people think and what it made them feel and seeing that you thought it was enough to give it a read + like the names i gave them really means a lot to me.

And yes, like you noticed at the end (which was an edit i really appreciated :3) my incoherent and me not being able to connect something to another was not planned-- BUT THAT'S FINE BECAUSE ISAAC'S SCHIZO TOO. Anyways, cool reblog fr fr!!!! Im glad you liked the names, I don't like most of the names people give em so i get the feeling that most people have about that topic, random internet user. Have a nice day and thanks for the reblog <3!!!!!! WUAHH WUAHHHH

Note: Ger in the comic and my au is real, he's from another universe, they're still systems tho (i liked the analysis of the system part too, since it does feel like a group of people that even tho i have some troubles with i still don't want them to go away)

And it did sound condescending at first but like i said before: i appreciated the edit <3 /gen /nm

AAHHH ANYWAYS, THAT'S ALL, THANK U i get excited seeing people enjoying my art like that and i didn't want you to think that me not answering might be because i found it in poor taste, BUT NO, NOT AT ALL AAAAAAA 🫂🫂🫂🫂

SJAHSHSHHSE yeah thats really my bad, ive seen your art before but ive never checked your blog so i didnt know anything about you i was just really happy to see a good portrayal that i not only liked but could attest to. even before i realized it was because you experience these things, my intention was to just point out how excellent it was, how much i related to your depictions. it felt warm. that whole comic is very warm. i like it very much.

also idk if thats just your handwriting but im seriously in love with isaacs handwriting here. i write similarly. (i also keep a journal, writing about my life and my experiences. the others are.. less interested and usually prefer to draw. which i also do tbf)

another thing i enjoyed was "He says living in this Paradise is heaven in comparison to his." which is SO REAL LMAO.... im literally in the trenches on a daily basis and ill have headmates whore like. "man. you think THIS is bad. wait till you see how i lived in MY home. this is heaven. i want to keep living here"

HANG ON . okay im typing on my phone and looking at the og post to make more notes because im obsessed this whole comic is so good I JUST NOTICED THE LIL GER DOODLE IN THE NOTEBOOK AAAAA <333333

okay, focusing, continuing

eating up the fear of abandonment and feeling like a burden and overall low self esteem from isaac also. he should not feel this way but look whos talking :3 me, me im talking and its really like that. ouuugh its so like that .

and our dudes like i mentioned are a lot like this, at least when im around. but our p1dude has this thing where hes gotta help somehow. something to feel better about himself. so he helps us navigate our schizophrenia, and hes pretty good at it. still not great that hes equating it to his worth, though. regardless, hes soso sweet and calm on his good days.

ANYWAYS ANYWAYS ive rambled enough hdjfjkftkggk sorry

you are VERY TALENTED and your art ROCKS and i love your storytelling and im a huge sucker for how sweet this comic is, thank you for being awesome and cool and being here and writing this im EATING IT UP thank you thank you thank you