#its not reasonable to ban stuff cause you don't personally like how it looks. it's not OK to decide someones wrong cause they arent doing it

[gunsli-01]

just wanna say since I've been away from fixating on milgram for a month or so and came back for a skim (I got my therapist hooked, so its on the mind).. I wanna say how the fuck did this happen but I've similar enough that like, I hope you're taking care of yourself, congrats on the marriage (thats recent right?), your posts are always nice to see, I hope Organ Thief's Dance Party is entertaining for you too

I got so carried away beneath this cut that it's just a new Mu post I'm sorry in advance! Before any of that though I'll try to answer your points to the best of my abilities!

I'm so happy to hear about the therapist thing! I hope more people can enjoy Milgram so many that getting to a million views is pretty much immediate during trial three!

I think conflicts appearing in the fandom in and of itself isn't a bad thing it just means people care about the material, but I hope people can do that in a fun and respectful way. Not only to make the environment comfortable for old fans but newcomers as well. I don't believe it's good for fandoms to become exclusionary or too closeknit since that can lead to terrible forms of conflict down the line.

A fandom should be full of various people and opinions. So, I always wanna remind people to look at the views of others outside of mine since it helps form a more well-rounded opinion. It's even helped me better reflect on my own biases. I do like passion, but too much of anything in one direction can be bad, and I want more and more people to like and watch Milgram! So, regardless of what happens, I want people to see the fun in it not just from the content but its fans who do great things in a passionate way every day.

I'm taking care of myself and my dad to the best of my abilities he surgery went smoothly too! I'm still very much enjoying Milgram all the way! I hope none of what I said about the fandom comes off as pretentious or too serious because I know it'd be easy to read it that way. When it comes to the marriage, I assume you're referring to my blog description.

Ah, Star and I have known each other since late 2013! We met through Tumblr actually. That's why I was so upset to have my blog shadow banned because it has a lot of sentimental value and I'd hate to lose it. We started dating maybe three years after and we got engaged two to three years after that. Though, since we live in different countries, we haven't officially tied the knot yet. She's my best friend, confidant, and we hang out often. Even meeting up in person whenever we can manage/afford to.

Actually, she's the reason anybody even gets to see me talk about Milgram at all right now. She introduced it to me! She wanted me to look over the entire series. Because she was very well acquainted with my penchant for deductive reasoning and love of solving mysteries. Because of thar she wanted to know what I would think was going on based off the trial one music videos alone. I was a bit miffed at her at the time, so I was like, no, I don't wanna.

Though she went if I didn't want to watch all of it then she'd at least like it if I looked at Mahiru's song. Causing my response to Mahiru's first trial song to pretty much be you trying to say something about me, huh?! However, I really loved it and pretty immediately went okay I'll watch the rest. However, that was only after she asked what I thought happened and the only thing I could think was with the focus on food, probably poisoning, but other than that I'm unsure.

So, I'm very nostalgic when it comes to Mahiru's song since it's related to a person I love.

If you don't want all the personal stuff here's the Milgram stuff!

I think the thing I'm looking most forward too is hearing Shidou's cover of Delusion Tax given how the VA handled Liar Dance! Shidou's voice tends to be more reserved when it comes to singing his original songs but go hard in his covers. Mu is the exact opposite, her voice being stronger in her original songs but going to a gentle whisper in her covers.

Showing the dichotomy between how she presents herself and how she may be inwardly. That outward appearance of dominance breaking into a soft-spoken stint. While Shidou's soft demeanor breaks way into a more domineering tone with hard enunciation that's so good to hear. So, I'm really curious if that will stay in Delusion Tax just like it stayed for Mu with MKDR.

I like Mu's covers far more than her original songs because of that vocal change and the subtle gentleness like holding porcelain. Especially the scream here and how it directly contrasts with the one here. Her covers really highlight that similarity between her and Futa of putting on a tough front but having an incredibly soft interior that needs a lot of nurturing from their environments.

Something also highlighted by her being represented as Parasitic Wasp in It's Not My Fault.

One of the insects that build cocoons on a host and use the nutrients off them to feed their young. Meaning It's Not My Fault we are literally seeing an artistic rendition of a Parasitic Wasp nest being built on a beehive.

Explaining why Mu is so large in comparison to the others. It's a literal hostile takeover until she gets enough of what she needs and leaves.

This also explains why she's so quick to leave and nothing remains when she does in the end. Since they eat everything and go. Yet, it has another meaning too! Mu being a parasitic wasp can be read as her leeching off of a society of course but it can also be read as her needing external validation to support her own beliefs. Showcasing that she lacks the mental fortitude necessary to defend or rationalize her own behavior or past actions.

This is highlighted in After pain when she's literally drowned in her own negative opinion of herself. Something that used to be feeding her is now eating away at her. Because it doesn't come with that sweetness of external validation. No one else is saying that she's right so she'll always wonder if she's wrong on some level. Because she's incapable of validating her own behavior this is even shown in It's Not My Fault when she basically begs the viewers not to hate her or even look for her bad side the source of her pain.

In a, "Just keep liking me, keep feeding me, I can't do it I can't take it on my own." In a way, reminiscent to the way Mikoto freaks out when everybody, but Kotoko wishes him a happy birthday. It also feeds into why her victim ignoring her bothered her so much and she couldn't let it go. The reason she's behaving this way is perfectly illustrated at the end of It's Not My Fault where she's literally reformed by the previous verdict and breaks away from her host, in this case the hourglass.

Something that very much comes through in the tone of her cover songs. While Shidou- Ah, his are so full of that usually restrained animosity of his that I just love! So, that mixed with Delusion Tax may just get me.

[rainyraisin]

OKAY SO, RETICENT INFO DUMPS!!! The first half of Raph's wasn't in my notes so I had to steal it from Instagram. These are from 2 weeks ago so the characters have more to them at this point but I'll only keep infodumping if people ask :)

Raph continuation:

Raph is the only brother other than Leo who goes up to the surface, usually to get more fun things for his brothers rather than what they genuinely need. Mikey receives spray paint gear and painting supplies, also said to be from Splinter, but Raph suspects he knows who its truly from. He hides in his room whenever Splinter actually does visit so he doesn't get into a fight with him and "scare him off" for a few months. The only crime Raph really commits is stealing. Despite his temper and tendency to get into fights, he's actually quite responsible. He's the one who stops his twin from committing too many crimes. The vandalism he permits, the arson he does not. He wants to be closer to Mikey and Leo.

Mikey:

Mikey is 15 and the younger twin by 2 days!!! He's more of a traditional artist and enjoys painting. He was introduced to spraypainting by April and does it around the lair pre-season 1, to Splinter and therefore Leo's dismay. Following the start of season 1, he starts doing spraypainting with Casey which was a big bonding activity for them. Mikey struggles with expressing anger verbally and does it through other things like burning stuff or going out to spraypaint. He was almost caught by the police once due to him being too loud and disturbing the peace whilst spraypainting to relieve some stress. He's the best cook in the family and when he was deemed old enough by Leo he was allowed to start cooking for them (with supervision of course, and Leo handled things like knives). He wants to be a cool older brother to Donnie but tries a bit too hard and kinda just comes off as weird yet kind funny. They're still not the closest though. He wants to be closer to Donnie and Raph. Later on he bonds with Donnie a bit through baking as his little brother enjoys the chemistry part of it (he is completely banned from the stove though). Raph is their taste-tester.

Donnie:

Donnie!! The youngest at 13!!! (And a half as he will constantly remind you). Donnie is autistic but literally has no fucking clue, just like the twins with their ADHD. He's a bit clingy to Raph and shares similar traits to him due to spending the majority of his life around him. He acts the same way around April as Mikey does around him, trying to be a cool little brother. April doesn't understand what the hell he's trying to do. He questions why Splinter brings him materials for his inventions yet seems so disapproving of them. Donnie feels like his brothers view him as a liability first and family second. Leo tends to try keep him out of the way a lot of the time, mostly when sparring, which leads to him being weaker than his brothers in that aspect, although Raph eventually has enough and begins sparring with him in secret. Don is the reason they met April as he went out looking for Splinter when he was 9 and got lost, only finding his way back to his brothers due to April offering to help him. He stole Leo's coat so the majority of his features are covered up. She only realises that shit might not be right here when he tells her he lives down in the sewers but like, is she really gonna leave a kid to get home alone??? No, ofc not.

April:

April! The oldest of the group at 17!! She will lord the fact that shes just over a month older than Casey over him for the rest of his life. April acts quite apathetic and snarky but genuinely does want to help her brothers cause she cares a lot about them. She just doesn't know how to and she feels so guilty about it. She also tries not to get too involved in their personal stuff because she thinks that they don't view her as a sister. She hasn't met Splinter yet but has heard a lot about him from Raph and isn't very fond of him. She doesn't like Casey too much at first as she's worried he'll break their trust and reveal her brothers' existence to the world but over time they grow closer and become friends. When she first met the turtles, she was a bit freaked out cause holy shit there are mutant turtles in the sewers why why why why why- But she came to realise that they were just kids trying to survive and warmed up to them quickly. She came round as often as she could to make sure they were okay and eventually bought them all radios in order to keep in contact with them better (she let Donnie mess with them to increase the range). Very supportive of her brothers cause like, who else is gonna be? Their dad sure isnt and she's the only one who knows about them otherwise (until a certain goofy guy comes along)

Casey:

Casey Jones!! Second oldest of the overall group, also at 17!!! He's just less 17 than April (don't question me I can english). He's the catalyst for the series as a whole and is completely confused by what the fuck is going on the majority of the time- bro is just slowly learning how fucked up this family is and he's just like "ARE U GUYS OKAY??? 💀💀💀". He wants to help the sillies stop being so damn emotionally constipated. He is also a silly little vigilante guy‼️‼️‼️ He is not very good at it but don't tell him that he's trying his best. He also plays hockey cause he slays like that. He is very loser/affectionate. He's definetly been arrested a couple of times although never actually sent to jail or anything, just made to wait with an officer until his dad comes to pick him up. He acts way more confident than he is. (I have way less on him than everyone else atm lmao I'm sorry)

Also just realised, here's a very old Leo infodump, like literally from the second day of Reticent's existence

Anyway if there's anyone who wants to know more about all of the sillies or even just one particular silly, throw an ask into the box!!! :D

[rxttenfish]

What are those fish plotting. What nefarious deeds are they up to

complicated question. namely because to answer this i'd have to get into merkingdom politics and history and how exactly their whole embargo on ANY contact with the land formed and for what reason, alongside some REALLY shady stuff that they have done, that people within the merkingdom are very aware of, but of a kind of nature that even miranda has been banned from speaking on it to landfolk. or showing them either. she's kind of bad at both of these, but its fine, just don't look too closely at what she's doing and you won't know a thing.

speaking of miranda: there's the whole REASON she was sent up as an ambassador to make those very first introductions to the land and forge brand new political relationships, which is a complex mix of history, merkingdom politics, and inter-vanderbilt drama that they've covered up pretty hard and are absolutely trying to distract even their fellow royals from. miranda herself only knows a part of the story on that last part, which unfortunately is the least interesting part of the story. if you asked any of her sisters, they would know, but they aren't exactly telling, nor are they in a position where its feasible to ask them. where the present-day is in my writing - only miranda and bellanda are on land, amanda and laudanda are still fully within the merkingdom and tending to business there.

and of course there's the king, but you KNOW no one's getting close to him to ask him anything. the queen's been dead for over twenty years and her spirit is MIA, so she's no use either.

in as far as anyone on land knows: mostly the merkingdom just seems interested in forging new political relationships, getting off on the right foot and generally being eager to please with a heavy undercurrent of "they have the kind of power behind them that you REALLY don't want to fuck with". all anyone's seen of that power so far is glimpsed through trade relationships, which the merkingdom seems very intensely interested in odd, basically worthless things from the people they contact, with a lot of high-value items and resources in return, which they seem all too willing to give out like candy. the quality alone is cause for suspicion, least of all how readily they can provide all of these things, and for almost nothing in return.

still, they're polite, and dont really come off as wanting anything else, and are clearly fantastically rich, so although something's clearly going on, it's hard to make heads or tails of it so far.

as far as miranda's friends know: miranda is clearly afraid of going home. she acted completely differently when she came up to land as compared to how she acts now, and even now she still gets WEIRD in certain situations and topics in an alarming way, be it either switching into complete and utter panic (dolphins being one of the biggest triggers for this one) or entirely blanking out and going numb or switching into a sort of "princess mode", abruptly coming across as strict and business-like and entirely divorced from her prior personality, and there's a lot of little hints that something is wrong. she still fawns over daddy, don't get me wrong, but she goes further with it. practically falling over herself for him even when he's not present and almost overcompensating by talking him up. hell, the only person in her family she's willing to speak very genuinely about is bellanda, and asking about the others only ends badly.

trying to bring up any of this to miranda herself is a bust, ofc, because all you're going to do is to make her reactive and lash out at you for daring to question her and question the merkingdom, and how DARE you speak such LIES. around spring she gets especially despondent and vanishes for days and weeks at a time, though she's obscure with the reasons why. she still vanishes for sometimes weeks during other times of the year, with absolutely no answers as to what she was doing, but it always happens a lot in spring.

and there's the business of what miranda's royal duties are specifically, but again, she's not talking about any of this and you can't make her.

the merkingdom is, likewise, not taking questions at this time.

[n1kolaiz]

"You want to know what death is? I'll tell you. Death is the loss of life. Despite everything doctors like me attempt... a patient's life can still fall through our fingers. You think death lies in the apex of science? Anyone with such little regard for life will die by my hand."

Character Analysis: Yosano Akiko

Age: 25 || Ability: Thou Shalt Not Die

BSD CHAPTER CHAPTER 65-66 SPOILERS

table of contents:

1. Author counterpart.

2. Yosano's history.

3. 'Angel of Death' defined.

4. Yosano and Atsushi.

YOSANO BRAINROT!*(#&!*@#($

1. Author counterpart.

Having been given the “Sho Ho” at birth, Yosano Akiko’s counterpart—the real-life author—was known for her zealous take on both feminism and pacifism.

Side note: Once again, to avoid confusion, I will use the name Sho Ho in reference to the real-life author, and Yosano in reference to the BSD character.

Sho Ho's writings were pretty much out-of-the-ordinary in her time, and despite being suppressed by the social norms of gender hierarchy, she sought to reform society’s view on the cultural perspectives of women and their sexuality (She expressed her love for a woman in one of her poems, but many still argued on whether she identified herself as queer or not.)

"Thou Shalt Not Die," Yosano's ability, is actually named after one of Sho Ho's most famous, controversial poems. She wrote it for her brother, who was a soldier in the war between Russia and Japan (1904-1905). In her poem, she expressed her general distaste for war and how her brother was a part of it.

O my young brother, I cry for you Don't you understand you must not die! You who were born the last of all Command a special store of parents' love

Would parents place a blade in children's hands

Teaching them to murder other men Teaching them to kill and then to die? Have you so learned and grown to twenty-four?

- excerpt from Sho Ho's poem, "Kimi Shinitamou Koto Nakare"

Her words were blunt enough to inflict guilt on her brother's conscience, as she wasn't afraid to express her disapproval over how her brother took part in the typical violent bloodshed and manslaughter of war. Such opinions perturbed the authorities, and her work was eventually banned from the public for a period of time. Later on, it was used as an anti-war statement.

2. Yosano's history.

Now, as for the character in BSD, Yosano is seen to be generally strong-willed, and later on, we see that she is terrifyingly compassionately ambitious in the way she treats her patients. She treasured life itself, and hated the thought of losing a patient.

Yosano had developed her relations with Mori Ougai back in the Great War, when she was just 11 years old. Her ability was a great benefactor in saving lives. Realistically speaking, she was used for her ability to heal injured soldiers and diminish the effect of any casualty acquired.

Initially, she wasn't aware of this, until one of her close friends pointed it out by subtly accusing Mori of manipulating her to participate in the War under the close-to false pretence of 'saving lives.'

As much as her ability did save lives, it also forced soldiers to return to the frontlines and suffer injuries over and over again. The soldiers were never given the opportunity to return to their families because of her ability. This obliged them to carry on in the war without any excuse, inserting them into a vicious cycle they had no escape out of.

Metaphorically speaking, Yosano's hatred for Mori sort of mirrors Sho Ho's disdain for war and fighting, don't you think? The way Kafka materialised Yosano's past was quite interesting because he used chapters 65 and 66 to explain Yosano's dislike for Mori, reflecting how Sho Ho used her poem to explain why she condemned the idea of war and how her brother was part of it.

Before the effect of her ability was fully understood, however, every soldier praised and thanked her for what an angel she was. One of the soldiers she had befriended and gotten close to even kept a tally of the number of times she had saved him. He was the one who gifted her the butterfly hairpin she wore all the time.

The weight of the truth that her ability was a curse rather than a blessing fully dawned on her when her soldier friend ultimately committed suicide, because the fact of being indefinitely trapped in the throes of war agonised him until his spirit gave out. This drove Yosano to loathe her ability, or rather, how it was used.

In the time she participated in the War, Yosano was given the alias 'angel of death' due to the control she retained over the battlefield, but I thought that perhaps Kafka had a reason behind giving her this title, so I did my research.

3. 'Angel of Death' defined.

Side note: I wouldn't want to disrespect any culture or religion, so if my citations are inaccurate and/or disrespectful, do feel free to correct me/let me know! I did research out of pure curiosity, and I don't intend to twist the significance of any of the interpretations.

I had to grow up learning about the basics of religious stuff, so it's kind of nice to study something out of the box, and very much against my father's rigid belief system :D

ARCHANGEL ARIEL

(archangel: an angel of higher rank)

I came across the few characteristics of angels/goddesses and their roles, and the one which really caught my attention was the female archangel, Ariel, the angel of nature.

[ source ]

In Hebrew, the name Ariel means 'altar' or 'lioness of God,' and her role is to heal. In addition to that, she is also recognised as a helper to another one of the seven main archangels, Raphael, whose role is to provide physical and emotional healing, too.

She is the protecter of the environment and the animals therein, and is bestowed with the duty to oversee the order of heavenly bodies as well as earth's natural resources. She assures the sustenance of food, water, shelter, and supplies of human beings, much like how a nurse is to a patient I suppose.

In relation to Yosano, I think this part is pretty self-explanatory, or perhaps this is blown out of proportion HA, so take this as a suggestion rather than a fact, because I'd like to believe that Kafka had a reason for giving Yosano a title as such.

In the past, I've come across the angel of death only to perceive it as a female grim reaper of some sort, so it was pretty cool to find that the word 'angel' and 'death' made up a title of a someone like Ariel, one of the purest forms of humility and compassion.

GREEK GODDESS PANAKEIA

For my beloved (wannabe/or not) students of Greek mythology (much like myself, let's make a cult!), you've probably heard of Panakeia, the goddess of healing. Medicine finds most of its vital significance in Greek history, and in its mythology, Panakeia is actually known for her ability to heal any kind of sickness.

[ source ]

Her name means 'panacea,' which is actually defined as a remedy for all diseases. Terminal diseases and injuries lead to death, right? This would bring us back to Yosano's ability to nullify any injury's effects on a person, keeping them from death itself.

Now, we know that in order for Yosano's ability to work, her patient, or victim, has to be in a near-death condition in order for her treatment to take effect. This can't exactly fit into the description of resurrection, but it can be described as some sort of rebirth.

GREEK GODDESS PERSEPHONE

So another goddess which reminds me of Sho Ho/Yosano, is Persephone, the goddess of spring and rebirth. Before Hades, the god of the underworld, fell in love with Persephone to take her to live with him, Persephone lived a happy life.

Hades, with his nature of darkness and the like, was captivated by how pure Persephone was, and stole her away from her former life to live in an environment which differed sharply from her natural aura of purity.

[ source ]

Remember when Yosano's friend left a note behind before he killed himself? The note said nothing except for, "You are too righteous." Take that as you will, but figuratively speaking, you could say Mori takes the role of Hades in the story, while Yosano can be portrayed as Persephone.

Sho Ho can also be a parallel of Persephone, in that she had to adapt to the realities of war and disharmony, while Persephone had to adapt to the raw darkness of the underworld with Hades.

Sho Ho stood against society's norms and decided to reform it, making her one of the most well-known feministic pacifist in history, while Persephone managed to escape from the underworld to return to her former position, earning the title the 'Bringer of Life,' or the 'Destroyer of Death.'

Furthermore, the way Sho Ho's anti-war poem took its effect later on, reflects the way Persephone restored balance in the world after returning from the underworld.

4. Yosano and Atsushi.

chapter 66; Yosano: "It's my fault that those close to me died... Is there some place where it's okay for me to live?"

chapter 8; Atsushi: "If I have any chance of saving them all, of returning them home safely, would that mean it's okay for me to keep on living?"

I couldn't help but think of Dazai and Atsushi back when I was reading through these panels. Ranpo (my beloved), along with Fukuzawa, accepted Yosano as she was, despite how her ability was a cause of despair and misfortune.

Ranpo looked past her mistakes and the entirety of how dark her past was to welcome her into the Armed Detective Agency. Dazai, on the other hand, knew who Atsushi was and what his ability had made him do before anyone else, and still decided to provide a safe place for Atsushi to find his sense of belonging, journeying with him as he learned to use his ability properly.

For more info about Dazai and Atsushi's dynamic, you can check out the analysis I did for Dazai :D

Atsushi desired to save people to prove his right to live, while Yosano made her wish to achieve the recovery of all her patients the reason for her existence.

Others would prefer to accuse both Yosano and Atsushi of having a saviour complex, but the reason why they pursued to save people with utmost dedication, stems from the nature of what their past was like. You know the saying 'from broken to beautiful?' Yeah, it's something like that.

The way their pasts were written out gave them a desire to change, which was, I daresay, initiated by the people who took them in: Ranpo and Dazai. Their abilities were demonised because of how they were used, but once they broke from their abilities' effect over their lives, they honed their skills to control them for the right cause instead.

In a less cynical point of view, I believe both Yosano and Atsushi stood for what was right, and wanted nothing but to achieve peace and harmony in whatever way they could, even if it meant risking their own lives to save others.

So yeah, that's it for my rants today. Thank you for reading, and if you have anything to add, go ahead! I'm open to discussions ;)

[randomestpersononearth]

Questions

(Or headcanons or rhetorical questions or story times or why do I keep doing this part or all of you should know that questions are an umbrella term so that when I'm bored, and can find this post again.)

*EXTREME EXHALE*

The post will be under the cut thing, since it's gonna be long.

1. Why does everyone have phones?

Who thought that this was ok? Also who found the materials to give a bunch of criminals phones. I know that this is "rainbow magic reality smear" Prison, but why?

Its not like I'm against it, it could give them insight to the real world, and teach responsibly?

I just wouldn't give them phones.

But I wouldnt be surprised if they were like school computers, so when you try to go to CoolMathGames, they will block you. That is a good idea, but still it's weird.

2. Why is Isou always around children?

He was around Noriko when she was a child, he hung around Manji that one time, (I classify Manji as a child since Manji is Ban, yada yada, go to my past Questions post for more explanation,) and now he is the weird Sub at Nadeshikos school.

Whats with the kids Isou?

Ya like kids?

I'm kinda thinking that he is like the "Child Outreach Specialist" or something?

I know that this

Is a lot more approachable than this,

But still, why does there have to be a separate goon for the kids?

Why not put elf in a actual elf costume, and have him be around the kids!

The Man with the Scar could save some money or wouldn't have go deal with all that Elf and Isou drama.

Maybe Elf doesn't like kids? Or he doesnt want to be asked stupid questions by kids? Either way, I'm not complaining since I enjoy Isou and his...

Ummm

Ability to be evil but not that evil.

Now we are getting to more of the talk about it stuff. (Not really questions)

3. Yakumo and Tsu-in existed since part 2 of the manga.

Proof

Gotta look pretty hard but once you see it, you never go back.

4. The Uno theory

This was mostly a Discord thing, but I am taking the liberty to talk about it here.

Due to the fact that Uno doesn't have a backstory, "game builder garbage and nanbaka" has decided that Uno could be evil.

Now, as much as it worries me to think about, Uno can't be evil, since every person who is a Elf... person or cronie or bro? I don't know, has pointy ears!!

*Disclamer, I pulled this theory right out of my ass, so it may not be correct. It's not the only reason why I don't think Uno is evil, i just wanted to bring it up.*

Yup, that's right if Elf can posses you, then you have pointy ears. Not as pointy as Elfs ears but not in the regular shape of a normal persons ear.

Example

I would love to show a picture of Uno without pointy ears, but HIS HAIR COVERING HIS EARS!!! And I dont feel like searching the manga for ear pictures right now. Ugh you and your gorgeous hair.

You get my point.

(Pun intended)

Another reason why Uno isn't evil, is that SHIN'S GOT ALL THE EVIL ELF SNITCH COVERED!!!!

Agghhh!! Shin!!!

Proof

WHAT ORDERS!!!

This is kinda out of context, so here is some context, this was before Zakuro and Ikkaku arrived at Nanba. Chapter 191 or 192, (im out of coins now searching for that.) But who else would he be talking to due to the context of the statement!!

SHIN IS EVIL!!!!

WHY WHOULD ANY PRISON WANT A BUNCH OF SUPER HUMANS, SUPER HUMANING IT UP!! SHIN HANDED, the lovely, MISS MOMOKO A BUCKET OF LIES!!!! HE LIED TO THE CAUSE, HE LIED TO MOMOKO!! FIRE HIM!!

Sorry for the all caps, I feel every strongly about HOW MUCH SHIN SUCKS!!!!

That's it.

And that also anwsers my

Why does Shin need an anvil to crush him in the skull? question from awhile back.

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Of Ice and Blood

Part 5

Look who's back with a 5k+ word count chapter?! Me!

I was planning on posting 1k+ at a time but stuff happened and I'm posting it all at once!

Enjoy and I'd appreciate it dearly if you reblog! Thank you!

Edit: Reached the 250 block limit so... The inevitable decision had to be made! Part 5 has a total of 3.42k words! The rest will be in a separate post <3

Pairing: Tai'chi Kashharzol (Orc) x Pearl Blackbell (Human OC/Reader)

Warnings: Cursing, Violence, brief mentions of blood and injury.

Overall SFW (but 16+ for language)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 Part 6

*

The walk back to the school building was quiet.

Or so I thought.

Because it wasn't. At all.

Whispers, mutterings, echoed from the rooms as we passed by.

Are they doing it on purpose, or is my hearing sharper than usual?

"Hey look it's that girl."

"You mean the freak who sat beside the orc—"

"First day of school and someone already got killed. Should've expected him to be a savage."

"You think she wears a mask to hide her identity? Maybe she's a criminal-"

Probably the latter.

I shrugged. There stood a decent amount of distance between us anyway. So it's likely my hearing.

Students were watching us with weird suspecting eyes from a distance behind the windows. Sensing apprehension and outward hate when they saw Tai'chi next to me, his face in a neutral expression. But with my nose at this proximity, he smells pretty annoyed.

Just— why are there so many people,— humans–garnering these feelings towards someone they don't even know! And to even mock him like that! How dare —

"Pearl," Tai'chi called. His rich voice resonating, making the gossips of the students stop for a brief moment before they continued. Most likely slandering my name now. I didn't know I was standing still. Looking up, Tai'chi was a decent 9 meters away, with the staff members further ahead of him. He gave me a wondering look, worry along with his natural fragrance, drifted through me, carried by air.

I straightened up and took long strides, Tai'chi beside me, to catch up with them.

"Yeah, just thinking. I'm okay." Replying, not looking up to him. He didn't ask, but I felt like he would.

************short pov shift************

He was a bit bothered by the change in your scent and looked back when he noticed you weren't beside him anymore. There you were, standing in the middle of the wide hallway, brows scrunched up in aggravation.

He called out to you, probably a little louder than he meant to, but you looked up and hastily made your way beside him, both of you catching up to the rest towards the dean's office. He didn't ask, but you answered, only making him worry even more.

**********first person pov**************

As soon as we entered the main office of the center building, we were greeted with the sight of the dean and David, together with Miss Holson. He was a white fat man, though a bit taller than me, wearing a light grey suit with a few buttons open revealing a white undershirt, and a silly yellow, violet polka dot tie. I barely held back from snorting at the sight.

Mr. Silverstone was fussing over his son, his voice raised in slight panic was heard by everyone.

They went ahead of us then.

"My son! My dear, dear David! Who did this to you?!" he cried out. Once David, that son of a bitch, spotted me, he flashed me that blasted grin of his. He was acting, pretending to be hurt.

I hardly even left a scratch on him for fuck's sake. How I regret not punching him straight in the face.

Reverting to his fake, frightened, and miserable state, he pointed at me. "I-I-It's her father! She is the one who attacked me! Along with that thing with her."

Thing?! That sick bastard!

The dean whipped his head in my direction, eyes scanning me up and down before he diverted them to Tai'chi.

Well, it seems I'll ve packing up sooner than I thought.

My shoulders sagged.

Some professors were alarmed by this, frantically pushing forward to grab his attention.

"Mr. Silverstone, we still do not know what's for certain. We must interrogate them properly and listen to each of their sides before we make a decision." Mr. Dulrik asserted, his voice strained and close to animosity. He was not pleased with what the student had said.

The elder professor from earlier followed up.

"Listen to Mr. Dulrik, sir. We cannot take any risks and ju—"

"Silence!" the dean shouted. "I will not hear your reasoning. My son has told me everything I need to know. Miss Holson supported his claims and that's enough to decide what to do with these criminals."

Criminals?!

"The girl and that orc shall be expelled from this institution immediately. We do not need any murderers or barbarians here. I have always suspected why that Ernestine brat even allowed these monstrosities to be with us. To breathe the same air and walk the same land as we do, endangering our safety no less! A pathetic excuse of a founder she is! If it were me I would've—"

"You would've what?" Words came out before I stopped myself, my voice low, but it was heard still, drawing their attention to me.

"What did you just say?" He demanded, his anger slipping out more. The room was silent, except for the subtle ticking of the wall clock behind me, and the movement of air around us.

I lifted my head and looked at him dead in the eye. "You would've what?" This time, I replied, louder.

Before he could retort I went on, emotion fueling my words as I advanced with every question asked.

"Would've banned every single, non-human race from the university?

"Would've taught every human that they are greater beings and the ones that were different were meant to be stepped on?

"Would've ordered and tolerated bullying on anyone who was unnatural and weird looking?

"Would've put them in their place?

Isolate them? Degrade them? Despise them for being alive?" No-one stopped me as I approached him, the teachers separating and making way. Even Mr. Dulrik was regarding me curiously.

I scoffed. " 'If it were me' you said. You think I wouldn't notice how everyone else, that isn't human, was oppressed and treated like shit in this school? It seems to me that you already did what you would've done, didn't you? You are no dean, you are a clown, a pillock, a dumbass, and you call yourself human? You are more monster than any of us in this room."

I breathed heavily as I stood a couple of feet in front of him. His face grew to a crimson hue, my ears catching the sound of smoke seething out of him. At the back, David and Miss Holson were dumbfounded, shocked into place, shaken like ugly statues.

Finally, the dean spoke, his fists clenching hard as he faced me, almost drawing blood.

I am so gonna beat him up. Hell yeah, I will.

"Keep out of trouble if you can." Well, shit happened Mama, forgive me.

"How dare you speak to me like that! I, a pure-blood Silverstone, a line of royalty! If we were still at war I would've had you executed from where you stand—"

"How about you do it yourself then, oh mighty Silverstone jerk?" I mocked and gave a toothy smile, then I remembered he wouldn't see it. That was all it took to have him launching himself at me, the professors running to the sides to avoid his wrath.

His hands were balled tight, a fist aiming for my face, eyes filled with deadly intent.

Oh, he really wants to kill me.

Before it connected, I sidestepped, causing him to stumble forward. Even so, he immediately regained his balance and reached to grab my hoodie. I didn't dodge this time, but before he touched me, I used my right hand to slap it away. With my other hand, fitted with my crimson knuckle dusters, I met his fist with mine. Almost instantly, he stumbled back and crouched down, his left hand holding his bloodied one.

"You bitch!!!" he screamed in agony.

I think I broke his hand.

I glanced to my brass knuckles, some of the blood covering them, merely visible because of its color.

Shattered it perhaps.

"I will have you killed you insolent brat! I'll kill you!" he cursed.

"Now, now, Silverstone, you will do no such thing." A feminine voice cut through the large room. We all turned to the door to see a slim, tall, tanned woman who seemed to be in her 40s, her slightly wrinkled face showing it. She was wearing a black high-waist pencil skirt paired with a black one-button suit and a baby blue undershirt. The lady also wore classic white loafers and white hand gloves made of leather, with her ebony hair tied up in a bun.

Everything about her screams 'important'. I scented an intimidating yet reassuring aura around her.

I met her eyes and a sense of familiarity fell upon me. I know her and I've seen her before.

Wait. Could it be— she's—

"Madame Ernestine!" A professor exclaimed.

That means she's, "The founder," I said out loud.

She began sauntering in my direction, each step clicking on the floor, carrying herself with grace.

"M-Ma-Madame Ernestine!" The dean, shrieked as he stood up, shaking, his busted hand in his chest, his back facing me. "I didn't expect you to visit this year! We could've prepared for your arrival—"

"You shut your mouth now Welmir." She spoke out, her voice firm and borderline hostile. "I've had enough of your blabbering mug. I made it so that my arrival is unexpected. Leaving my outside duties rather early and rushed this year when news got to me that you, the dean, were neglecting your duties, or so, doing it wrong. Not to mention I had my assistant install extra cameras in... certain places last year and because of that, I saw what you did in the shadows. Maybe not all, but it confirmed my suspicions of you, and so," She clapped her together, "I decided to visit you today. And what a surprise it was to see you get beaten up by this lovely young lady behind you."

Me?! Lovely—

My face warmed from her comment.

"Listen here, brat." he regarded the founder. The founder. "I do not know what you are talking about. I have done my duties and more for this university. I made it so that everyone here is safe and this girl,"— he spat— "harmed me, my precious son, and his friends!"

"And all of you deserved it, severely," she responded flatly. "You put my dear students at risk and antagonized them with your schemes, tolerating the behavior of treating other races like animals, disrespecting even the professors who are different in kind," she glanced at Mr. Dulrik and the others. "You even forced a minotaur, an elf, and a dwarven student to act the part of being in a student council, hoping people wouldn't notice the crimes you did behind our backs. Did you expect me to turn blind eye to this?"

It was all pretend?!

The mere thought of what he did to threaten them to it makes me wanna puke.

"I am furious, Welmir Silverstone. To think I believed you'd change your ways after my father's death with the renovation of the institute. Trusted you to do your job as dean and make the students comfortable, welcomed. But, no. You chose to follow his footsteps, became selfish, blinded by greed and pointless hate. You are a disappointment to all of us."

I smelled her rage under that near non-expressive facade of hers. It was spicy, like fire having an odor of its own.

"You are but a child! You know nothing of this world! This world of ours needs to be purged off of those rats. You cannot tell me what to do!" He yelled as he brought up his uninjured hand to hit her. I was about to step in when Madame Ernestine grabbed his arm and threw a right uppercut, blood spilling out of his jaw. The punch sent him a few steps back, he would have landed on me if I didn't move out of the way before he collapsed on the floor groaning and holding his mouth.

Ooh she's strong! Nice! I grinned.

"You are hereby stripped off of your job as dean along with all of your titles, properties, and henceforth banished from these grounds, together with your son and Emma Holson, whom I found out laid with him, and the abusive acts they had engaged in." Her words laced with poison, disgust and anger as she gave the final judgement.

"Never show yourselves. Ever. Again," she spat. "Take them away."

Out of nowhere, men in black suits came in and apprehended the young instructor, who twisted her heel trying to escape. She yelled at them to let her go, saying she has done nothing wrong. David, the bastard, was held in place by one of them as he struggled in their grasp. The dean— or should I say, Mr. Silverstone, in pain and bleeding, was dragged up by two others and headed straight out of the door. He shouted ;

"Mark my words, brat! I will—"

And the door slammed close.

With my gaze following them, my eyes landed on Tai'chi. I took off my dusters and waved, tucking them back up my sleeve.

He is smiling! And oh wow he's damn gorgeous— wait what?

My attention was drawn away to the lady in front of me. I got distracted by Tai'chi that I almost forgot about her.

"Oh my God I uhm— hello Madame Ernestine." I took one step back before bowing. "It's an honor to meet you. I—"

"Oh dear, please raise your head. No need for such formal gestures. I am Valerie Ernestine, founder of the new Ernestine State University." She stated as she beamed at me.

"I uh- Yes ma'am I know of you. I'm quite a fan actually— I mean! My name is Pearl Blackbell, ma'am."

Oh God, that sounded so stupid.

Then she hugged me.

"Ma'am?!" I squeaked. My arms went stiff, nervous to even touch her. Before I could, she pulled back, a gentle expression on her face.

"Nice to meet you, Pearl Blackbell."

"I- nice to meet you too Ma'am Ernestine!" I stammered, praying my face and ears isn't as red as I feel them to be.

"Please, call me Valerie."

"Ma'am Valerie."

"Just Valerie, dear."

"I'm so sorry ma'am but I can't— my mother will hit me in the head with a frying pan if I forget my manners."

"Very well, then. It brings me joy that you were raised properly by your parents."

"Thank you ma'am, I really am happy to have them, and I only hope for them to be proud of me— oh wait. Uh, ma'am Valerie?"

"Yes?"

"Am I gonna get punished or expelled?" I shrunk, expecting the worst.

"Why ever did you think of that?"

"W-Well you see, I did harm uh, students and they're probably in the infirmary right now and—"

"Oh, Pearl, no." She let out a light chuckle. "You won't be punished or even expelled for that! In fact, I saw how you defended yourself and your friend from them. They did attack you first, sweetie. And what you did was impressive!" She clapped her hands. As I stood there in relief, I couldn't help but shot up when the words sank in.

"Oh, thank you. But how...?"

"Apparently, I had my assistant install some cameras in the forest area for particular reasons. I watched you from the monitor as I made my way here," she replied.

"Oh. Oh, wow. That's actually pretty awesome," I sighed.

"Indeed, it is," she smiled. "Excuse me for a bit."

******pov shift to 2nd person (two characters)*****

Madame Ernestine turned and walked towards the remaining teachers to talk about important matters at hand.

"Greetings, my friends." She beamed at the staff and looked at Professor Dulrik and the woman who supported him earlier. "Hello, Roldo and Amila. I have missed you dearly." She bent down to hug the two of them before she went on. "I apologize for not taking action immediately. To think he did this to all of you right under my nose! Why didn't you contact me Roldo?"

"My apologies, Madame Ernestine. I didn't have any proof to show his plot against you and the others. He was very elusive and kept us very busy in our own offices for the past year with you away. That was until today, with the young lady over there standing up against his son, he snapped."

"It really is a good thing she came here, didn't she?" she whispered.

"Indeed, Madame," Amila replied.

There was a brief silence, before Valerie spoke up again. Her gaze locked at the dwarven professor.

"Roldo, my old friend, I want you to take your place as the new dean of this university. I trust you to do your duty a hundred percent better than that impudent man ever did. Will you accept this responsibility?"

"I- Valerie this is-"

"Roldo, you are wise and have seen things most of us here have not. I will not force you on something you do not want, but I put my faith in you, to help me, along with the rest of the staff, to teach everyone here that all of us stand in equal ground, and that we must respect and acknowledge each individual, regardless of their kind. No one, no student, should ever feel uncomfortable in this haven of mine."

"I understand, Valerie." The dwarf took a deep breath and vowed;

"I, Roldo Dulrik, son of Grol II, son of Frerin, accept the responsibilities given to me as dean of Ernestine State University. I will do my duty to the best of my abilities, and remain loyal to you and to this institution." He responded as he thumped his right fist against his chest.

"I know you will, my friend." Valerie grinned at him, her eyes full of trust and hope.

While they were occupied with discussing certain issues, you tried to sneak away, only to be called back by Madame Ernestine.

"Pearl, my dear."

"Yes ma'am?"

"Thank you."

She had a soft smile, emotions clear on her face, directed at you. The founder, Valerie was thanking you for your bravery, kindness and overall honesty. You simply nodded and grinned from ear to ear behind your mask. You were, however, suddenly nervous when Valerie and the two professors approached you. No, actually, all of them were, but the others are heading out of the office, perhaps to go back to their respective classrooms and start working, they gave their thanks as they went out.

"Pearl Blackbell, a wonderful name!" Professor Dulrik remarked. "May the Gods bless you and shine upon you in all your days," he grinned. Before you could reply, Professor Amila hugged you and whispered. "Thank you, for beating up those idiots," —which made you giggle— "It was the right thing to do, and also I had to defend myself. and thank you, Professor Dulrik."

"Nonsense, call me Professor Roldo, lass." He patted your shoulder as he went past you and out of the office, but not before he slapped Tai'chi's forearm.

"You best protect her if you can, lad. Even so, it is obvious she won't need protecting!" He laughed, and went on, quietly, as if whispering. "...Be her friend, my boy. Her eyes...they show the pain she had gone through. You saw that in her, didn't you?"

Tai'chi simply nodded in response. He knew what he meant.

"Then do what you must. If word ever comes to me that you hurt her, I will hunt you down with me battle axe hidden in my office, you hear?"

This time, he chuckled. "I hear you, Professor. I won't. I swear on the the name of my clan, no harm will befall on her." He told him, his voice firm and true.

"That's what I'm talking about, lad!" He replied as he finally exited the room.

Tai'chi shifted his gaze to you. You and the dean were still talking so he stood there, patiently.

"We best be on our way. We still have a number of things to set straight. We will see you around, Miss Blackbell. Don't get into trouble now." The founder giggled.

"I will try my best, ma'am."

"Oh sure you will, sweetie. Goodluck. And oh, the two of you should start going back. It's past lunchbreak afterall." She said as the two ladies sauntered past you and went out.

"Thank you, we will." You said, mostly to yourself.

**************************************

Part 6 will be posted shortly! Like, shortly shortly. Like, an hour or so shortly. Stay tuned! Thank you for reaching this point uwu✨

Tags: @crackinanutshell @kokokatsworld @mitchiesdungeon <3

[raylee-kai]

When You Love Someone - Park Jae Hyung Chpt. 1 (Part 1/2)

Here's the thing.

You hated playing the guitar. 

You were clearly a keyboard/piano person but when you heard that Jae had volunteered himself at the local music shop, you barely hesitate to put your name down on the form for the guitar lessons. It might have got something got to do with the crush you harbor on the guy. 

Your hate of the guitar was mostly because of the fact that your fingers were never flexible enough to press on the strings, how loud and gritty the sounds of an electric guitar echoes and also how there were different ways to play with different songs.

Like what on earth was plucking? 

Why are there different ways to play one instrument? 

It didn't help that there were different ways to tune a guitar. The amount of time you struggled with the tuner was making you regret the decision but as soon as Jae smiles at you and helped you out, you found yourself back in the studio, practicing yet another song on the guitar.

"Have you been practicing your chords?"

You nod, totally forgetting that he was actually asking about guitar chords and not keyboard. He gave a small chuckle and settled in front of you.

"Great, let's see it!"

The next few minutes consisted of;

"Did you tune your guitar? It sounds a little weird.." 

"That's the G chord."

"Bring that finger here and this one here..." 

"Show me A chord..... Uh... That's C chord."

"That's not even a chord."

It was amazing how Jae was never frustrated with your inability to learn the chords because your limit was approaching fast. 

Every mistake you made, you simply want to throw the guitar down and leave but Jae was always there to stop you from doing that. With his kind smile and carefree attitude, you could not stop yourself from falling for him even more. He was honestly your only motivation to learn the guitar.Your frustration was clear on your face but once he ruffles your hair, you can't help it but to come back for the next session. 

"You did great! Just need a little more practice."

Jae flashed a proud smile when you get a chord right was the highlight of the entire lesson.

"That's it for today!"

Jae clapped his hands and pats your shoulder, as if signing to you that you did a good job. Your shy smile made its appearance along with a slight blush but luckily, his attention was on the notification of his phone. He briefly read through and perked up, catching you before you leave. 

"Before I forget, here!"

He held out a shiny silver ticket out to you and grinned.

"Umm... What is this?"

"There's a gig, tomorrow at Club Eclipse. Thought that maybe it would be nice for you to see a few live performances."

You eyed the ticket for a bit before you glance up at him.

"You'll be playing?"

"Not this time but I'll be sure to invite you next time! Pinky promise!"

He stuck out his pinky, wiggling childishly to which you curled with a small giggle. Jae gave you a ruffle on your hair before looking at his watch. 

"I'll pick you up at about 7 at the cafe near school?" 

"You have a license?" 

"Only one way to find out right?" 

He winked, smiling while you tried to bite back your smile. 

You might have went all out in trying to find the perfect outfit which had Seungmin groaning in pure annoyance at the fact that you just practically dumped a bunch of clothes infront of him. The amount of times that you ran into his bedroom's toilet and came out with a new outfit had him regretting his friendship with you.

As if he could break a childhood friendship that easy.

You and Seungmin met each other at a piano recital when the two of you were younger. Ever since then, it was as if it was fated for the two of you to be friends. Both of you kept getting into the same classes, courses and school with or without planning on it. Plus, it did not help that Wonpil, Seungmin's brother, was your partner for a piano recital which made the two of you even closer.

"Are you seriously doing this at my house?"

"I need fashion advice."

You pouted, turning away from the mirror for Seungmin's view. He barely gave you a glance and scoffed.

"Stop pouting. You ain't cute."

You pouted even more at his harsh words but it was just a Seungmin thing to do so you weren't offended in the slightest. 

"Why aren't you asking Hyunjin for fashion advice? He is better than the rest of us at fashion."

"YOU'RE A GENIUS, SEUNG!"

You immediately grabbed your phone and called Hyunjin over to Seungmin's house. It didn't take long for him to arrive but not alone.

"Who invited the sunshine twins here?"

"We are here for mental support!"

"Get out of my house."

"Why do you like Jae anyways?"

Felix's question threw you to a state of flabbergast.

"Why Jae?"

Jisung added on, while Hyunjin was picking up outfits and trying to pair them together.

You sat on Seungmin's mattress much to the other's displeasure and thought about it to yourself. 

At first, it was the smile. You always thought that Jae had a cute smile with how he smiles with his eyes. He had a variety of smiles from the playful mischievous grin to the tired yet blessed smirk. It stays in your mind every time and you could not help feeling warm seeing his smile.

"Who's that?"

You asked Seungmin, who had been re-reading his script for the tenth time that day. Your dear friend was a part of the MC line up for some after school event which he was extremely nervous for which was why you, his dear friend, was there to cheer him on.

"What?"

"That blonde? I don't think I had seen him before."

"Oh, Jae?" 

You raised a brow as if trying to get him to explain more. "He was a student here, my brother's senior. They called him back to help us with the event."

Your attention went to the blonde who was joking around with some of the MCs to calm their stage nerves. The way he threw his head back to laugh caused you to smile a little.

"Cute."

Then, you fell for his personality. How friendly and welcoming he was with everyone, how thoughtful to those he held those dear and how mature and gives the best advice at times. He was like a canvas with similar yet different shades that you would only realize after looking closely.

Jae was not close to Wonpil by any means. 

It did not mean that they hated each other or anything but it is just that their friend circles never really clashed. So, Jae had no reason to protect Wonpil like he did that one time during his third recital. 

During his third recital, the seniors had Wonpil running around, forcing him to do stuff which would make him late to the recital. They went as far as to cut his formal clothes causing him to turn up with red slick back hair and blue button up which had caused a ruckus among the audience and judges for not being professional. But without a doubt, he was able to pull a performance that had the audience crying and reaching out for their tissues. 

Unfortunately, Wonpil was disqualified and was banned from joining in another recital in the event hall for not being "professional" and was reported for "harassing" the seniors that he had helped. 

That had caused you and Seungmin to fume in pure anger with how you had seen Wonpil going around to help the seniors, even going as far as to cut his practice time. 

It was the first time you saw Wonpil getting upset that he walked away. 

You and Seungmin were about to storm into the judges when Jae reached before the two of you could and provided them with evidence and eyewitnesses of the seniors bullying Wonpil and forcing him on errands. You watched in pure amazement at how the older glared the seniors down. 

When you asked why would he stand up for a total stranger, his reply would always be the same. 

"Why not?"

After, you just could not help but pay attention to him no matter where he goes. It's like your eyes would constantly be searching for him. There was just something about his presence that made you look at him in amazement. 

What do you like about Jae?

"I don't know. I just like him."

You should probably trust Hyunjin more than you did because the outfit he put together really looked good. Not only you looked good but you also feel good in the outfit. So there you were with nervous jitters waiting outside the cafe for Jae, typing at your phone furiously, trying to calm yourself down. 

Millennium Line Unite (5)

Memelix : Still cant believe u got boss to give u today off

Memelix : On short notice

J.ONE : Not fair :(

SeungSky : I dont get y u guys complaining

SeungSky : M covering her shift 

SeungSky : If anyone want complain it be me

                                                    lmao he saw my ticket 

                                                    he just send me off 

Dramallama : boss said you need friends 

Dramallama : hes sad Minnie is ur only friend 

Dramallama : WHO TF CHANGE MY USER NAME 

Memelix changed Dramallama to PrettyJinnie 

PrettyJinnie : Aww

PrettyJinnie : Thanks baby

Memelix : Anything for my Prince 

J. ONE : my eyes

J. ONE : NEED BLEACH

SeungSky : No flirting 

SeungSky : Not in this christian household 

Memelix : jokes on you

Memelix : im catholic 

SeungSky : And Jisungs a rapper 

Memelix : ??? 

J. ONE : ??? 

PrettyJinnie : ??? 

                                         ??? 

SeungSky : it means idgaf 

                                        Ouch

                                        taht got to hurt 

SeungSky : Idgaf bout ur date either 

                                           :(

SeungSky : u made me work on my off day 

SeungSky : u officially out of my friend list 

J. ONE : at least u were in his list 

SeungSky : Han 

SeungSky : stfu 

Oh shit oh shit oh shit

Jae here gtg 

wish me lcuk

Memelix : Stay safe 

PrettyJinnie : Use protection 

J. ONE : good lcuk 

Private Chat : SeungSky

SeungSky : Text me ASAP if somethings wrong 

SeungSky : Don't accept drinks from strangers 

SeungSky : Stay close to Jae hyung

                                        Must u do this everytime 

SeungSky : U only have one braincell

SeungSky : It worries me that u dont have common sense 

                                        I do have 

                                        hope I dont make a fool of myself 

SeungSky : Tough words for a clown like u 

                                        f u 

"Coming in?" 

Jae's voice hollered from the car as you look up from your phone. You darted into the car taking the seat next to the driver's and greeted him casually. You tried to avoid his look, considering how he actually put effort in looking good and you could barely stop yourself from combusting at the sight. 

"Looking good today."

"Thanks. You too, Jae. It's been awhile since I saw you in something other than a shirt."

"That's cause I'm usually half awake and late for work."

"Well, does that mean that you are late everyday?" 

"Hush now little one."

Laughing quietly at his words, you guys started talking about random things and before you know it, you were already there in the club.

"Nervous?" 

He asked, seeing how you hesitate after parking the car nearby. An arm over your shoulder had you calming down almost instantly. It was as if just knowing that Jae was there brought you calmer. 

"Is this the wrong time to tell you that this is my first time going to a club?" 

"You mean to tell me… you're a club fetus?!" 

You giggle at his dramatic scandalised face and playfully pushed him away. He laughed and placed his hands on your shoulder leading the way. 

"Don't worry and just stay close."

[owldemon08]

you'll never understand  But why would you - open letter

this is an open letter to someone I talk to every single day and am really close to. they don't have Tumblr so if I know you in real life. it's not you. and I probably shouldn't have to say this but, trigger warning, I think? mainly for like trans people or people with like PTSD for like family divorce and mentions of verbal abuse, depression, suicide, and some other heavy stuff. so be cautious if you have a problem with that kind of stuff. 

Its been a while since we actually had this conversation but. I was never finished with it. you walked away before I could finish. and I'm not angry. you don't like fighting and I understand that but. I wanna finish. because you know that's how I am. I need to finish my thoughts. 

if you don't remember, which isn't hard to believe. I was talking about my parent's divorce. for the personal narrative essay. and I mentioned how hard it was to switch weekends with my dad and mom. I said how I had to plan the switch weeks, sometimes a month ahead. and you, said something along the lines of “whys it so hard? just say ‘hey I wanna switch weekends.’ and be done” and I told you, that it's not that simple, because of the custody papers and agreements and yadda yadda yadda. and you proceded to say, “ Sydnie, (purposefully using my birth name) you make everything so much more difficult then it needs to be. you make your life sound so hard. it doesn't help that you wanna be so special with your gender and sexuality.” when you said this, I was hurt. you've never said anything like that before. and I was surprised. you were probably having a bad day, which isn't that uncommon cause, you get pissed of by idiots in your first hour and I usually make things better in the second hour.

and because it was all I could think off. I said to you. “ you wouldn't understand, cause your parents are together.”  then the bell rang. “why does that matter.” and you walked out, without me for the first time ever. but I have more to say. and I’m again going to start it with.

                                 you don't understand.

you don't understand cause you don't have to deal with it. 

and because you don't have to deal with it. you don't have to worry.

you don't have to deal with your parents being in two different houses. 

you don't have to deal with there only interaction being them yelling 98% of the time. 

you don't have to be the middle man, cause you know they'll fight if you aren't.

you don't have to deal with the aching pain of knowing that, you might be the reason your parents divorced when you were 4. 

you don't have to worry about your stepdad coming in your room to yell at you for no reason. 

you don't have to be compared to your older brother on a daily basis

you don't have to deal with sitting in your room just so you don't get compared to your dad by your stepdad with false information.

you don't have to plan weekends with your dad just so you can see him for a weekend and only see him for half of it, because he has to work double overtime just to barely make due on child support.

you don't have to watch your dad silently cry in the car every visit just cause your brother refuses to talk to him, just cause your stepdad has money and he doesn’t.

you don't have to listen to your dad fight with your stepmom because he wants to get his son a birthday present but you stepmom doesn't want him to cause they can barely afford groceries, and he hasn't been there in 6 years so why bother.

you don't have to leave your moms house crying on Christmas almost every year cause your brother is an asshole and yells at you for saying something about your dad, but won't even say Merry Christmas to him, even though he gives him a card with $50-$100 that he’d been saving for MONTHS using quarters and spare $1′s he finds and stashes in his truck without his wife knowing.

you don't have to be afraid to shower for weeks at a time because you'd rather die than have to see your self naked in a mirror.

you don't have to be afraid that your parents will kick you out if they find out your trans. 

you don't have to ask teachers to call you a name other then what's on the roster.

you don't have to stand there and explain for 3 minutes why your preferred name is so different than your name on the roster. 

you don't have to remind yourself to use the girl's bathroom even though your feet wanna take you into the boys. 

you don't have to live in fear of coming out to your dad, because you might break his heart, and possibly cause ANOTHER heart attack that could actually kill him.

you don't have to constantly remind people you've known since before you came out that you don't use your birth name anymore, but they still use it cause, who cares your still technically a girl right? 

you don't have to worry about finding a person to date, just cause you don't look your gender.

you don't have to watch as someone you are in love with that you've been flirting with for months, gets a boyfriend because they aren't into women, forget your trans, and thinks your flirting is just platonic compliments.

you don't have to feel horrible, just cause you really wish that you’d get breast cancer so that you can get surgery without having to come out to your transphobic family.

you don't have to sit and listen as your grandfather who loves you to death states that he would shoot a trans person, unknowing that your one of those people. 

you don't sit awake at night and cry because you would give anything to either die in your sleep or magically wake up as a guy.

you don't have to switch the pronouns in stories just so you don't out your gay friend and get banned from talking to him.

you don't have to deal with falling asleep for 10 hours but only getting 3 hours of sleep because of insomnia making you toss and turn all night and have nightmares you can't even remember that keep you from actually sleeping.

you don't have to listen to voices in your head make fun of you cause you think people care for you. 

you don't have to fear for the next relapse, that drives you to hurt yourself again

you don't have to listen to people make light-hearted jokes about your weight, that actually hurt, because of your mind there true. 

you don't have to sit and listen to voices as they say you're worthless and hopeless.

you don't have to deal with depression that you've had since you were 5 and realized daddy was never coming home again.

you don't have to listen as all of your family, even your sister who knows you've tried to kill yourself tells you that you're being dramatic and don't have depression and are just looking for attention.

you don't have to (non-religiously) pray that you see your best friend at random points in the day, cause their touch is the only thing that makes the voices shut up for a few minutes at a time. 

you don't have to deal with hoping that you get hit by a car, just so that the pain of living finally stops.

you don't have to deal with the thought process of, you don't want your life to end, you just want the pain to stop, and death may be the only way.

you don't have to deal with divorced parents, gender dysphoria, depression, insomnia, anxiety, and shit like I do. yes, you deal with your own problems, but please don't downplay mine as “making my life hard cause I want to.” if I had the choice I wouldn't have a fucking life at all. 

so please, stop downplaying my struggles, I'm not saying they're the worst in the world, but there what I deal with, I don't downplay yours, I always listen to you and treat your issues the way they should be treated so, do the same for me.

               But even after this, if you ever saw it, you'd still                              never understand, why would you? you don't care enough.

Yeah so that's it, I'm done ranting now and I cried a couple times while writing this....... but yeah, that was meant for one person but whoever reads this can use it to learn about me so.... have fun with this info 

[saddlepunk]

More stuff about paint brushes/potions

Thinkin about paintbrushes and potions again bc i never really clarified much about them in my big ramble post. I think ive settled on them being like... a relatively new kind of magic, as far as the history of the world goes. Of course there were always ways of changing color and species, but its only within the last century or so that people started trying to commercialize it. The setting im putting my neo-kids in is a kind of paintbrush prohibition. These things were legal at the onset, but after everyone realized how dangerous they were there was a huge ban enacted. Of course, people being people (or neo-people, as the case may be), there's a lot of big underground circles dedicated to selling and using this stuff, and there are like... differences between them that affect a lot of the laws around them.

Theyre mostly the same magic, and theyre both incredibly unstable and can cause some serious problems if theyre used too frequently. The main difference is that the magic used in the "paint" is marginally less potent, since its geared just towards changing whatever genetic bits govern color and not like... species. By applying it to the skin rather than ingesting it there's a little more control over the dosage, plus only using part of a paintbrush won't fuck you up entirely. It's still illegal because like... there's way too many unknown side effects and if theyre used too frequently they can still absolutely spawn a mutant neopian, but its not something that can totally ruin a person's life. Rich assholes who can wave away fines and jail time will probably change their whole coloration every few years to match the hottest trends and its super shitty but that's how it goes.

Potions, on the other hand, are some seriously dangerous stuff. Since its usually changing color and species, the dosage has to be way more precise. Folks in the business of making morphing potions don't usually have a whole lot of them just laying around, since they have to make each potion specifically based on the weight/species of the person ordering one. Of course less scrupulous sellers will dole out whatever they've got without any care for the consequences, and buyers who either dont know or dont care will chug them down just the same.

Only drinking part of a potion is Seriously Ill Advised. While having a mottled paintbrush coat is neat, being trapped in the halfway point of a transformation between species is not. Even going back and finishing the remainder of the potion after its started doing its thing won't guarantee that the shift can be completed properly, since its no longer working with the same species/weight specifications for which it was brewed, and is essentially starting the process over, except... it's still only half a potion, so you're likely to end up even more fucked up. Even more likely: drinking only half the potion and being trapped between forms will probably leave your organs caught too, and whatever's going on in there won't be able to actually sustain life in any form. That kind of thing can happen anyways, since like... changing like that hurts. We're on some animorphs shit here. Folks without the right mental and physical constitution might die even if everything else was done right.

So, for obvious reasons, potions are a little more strictly managed. If a celebrity shows up for their new movie role with a shiny new coat, everyone can pretend its fur dye and look the other way. If they show up with a shiny new set of scales... that's a little harder to explain.

[thetwitchylife]

hey i'm trying to write a story about a character with epilepsy. i'm not epileptic so i'm trying really hard to make his (partial) seizures accurate but i also don't want to romanticize them. what are some first hand experiences w partial seizures/can you have more than one type of seizure/how would you want epilepsy to be presented in a book? ik that's a lot of questions but i want it to be accurate and not make the character a charity case. would writing an epileptic character be overstepping?

I’m delighted to get this question!  Getting info from folks who deal with epilepsy is exactly what authors should do.  Go you!

Advice #0.  DO NOT KILL THE EPILEPTIC CHARACTER.  FOR ANY REASON.  JUST DON’T.

1. Partial seizures describe a huge range of sensations and actions, so you can probably pick about four kinds of seizures that happen to your character. 

-Most folks have many kinds of seizures (like me) but putting the full range and variety of simple or complex partial seizures might be too much.  Check out the resources at the bottom of the page for more range.

-Realize that where the seizures originate will affect what kinds of seizures they have.  I don’t know enough about the brain to tell you what kinds of seizures come from what part of the brain, though.  Not a neurologist.  Go find one, and ask them!

2. If it were up to me, I’d see epilepsy treated kind of like its own character. A character has quirks and needs and an origin story, and they interact with other characters. Think about:

-When did epilepsy come into your protag’s life?  Were they born with it?  How much does it interfere with their daily actions?

- Where did it come from?  Was it the result of an illness, or a traumatic brain injury, or was it idiopathic (they don’t know, and probably never will know, where it came from)?  There’s a lot of anger and blame associated with each kind- whoever caused the TBI, whatever caused (or didn’t prevent) the illness, or directionless anger/self-loathing for idiopathic epilepsy.

-Is it controlled by medication, partially or completely?  A huge number of people never get their seizures completely under control, even with medication, implants, surgery, diet, acupuncture, or anything else they try.  But even when it’s controlled fully, epilepsy interferes with someone’s life.

-How many people know about this character’s epilepsy?  For a lot of folks, epilepsy holds a shit-ton of shame.  People with epilepsy used to be forcibly sterilized.  Epileptics were banned from marriage in Missouri until 1980.  How would you feel, knowing that people like you were considered a social danger?

-Is the character conscious during their seizures, or not?  Do they have any warning before their seizures?  (Realize that “auras” are often not just floating lights- they could be a flash of fear or nausea, or smelling gasoline/cat pee, or tingly finger, whatever, and not everyone has them.)

-Do they know anyone with epilepsy? Do they have any friends post-diagnosis? Epilepsy is fucking ISOLATING, especially because you can’t drive to see friends who live outside of walking/bicycling distance, and people can get real jumpy around you.

3. Stuff that has bugged me about books that have had epileptic characters, that hopefully you can avoid, has been:

-Not having the daily stuff mentioned- taking meds, or freaking out because you forgot them, or dealing with insurance, etc.

-Not realizing how important your doctor/neurologist is in your life. If you have a good one, you KEEP them. I have a long-standing relationship with my neuro.  She’s part-therapist, part-doctor, because for years I didn’t know anyone else with epilepsy, and she was the only person I could talk to about it.  (Family gets very distressed when I talk about SUDEP.)

-Glossing over how complex meds are.  Maybe they work, maybe they don’t.  Maybe your med levels fluctuate during the day/month, maybe they interact with diet or stress or sleep.  Just changing your meds takes over a month, and it’s the most stressful thing.  Nobody likes it.

-Making this about “God’s grace” or something.  Don’t even.  If I have epilepsy, and we’re talking about the Christin God, then God gave me these seizures.  Praying for God to take away my seizures is basically telling them that they screwed up.  Rude.  I tend to smile and nod when people tell me they’ll pray for me, then add their name to an internal list of “Morons to Avoid.”

-KILLING THE CHARACTER FOR THE ABLED CHARACTER TO GROW AS A PERSON.  DO NOT- I REPEAT DO NOT- KILL THE EPILEPTIC CHARACTER.

4.  Writing a character with epilepsy would not be overstepping.  It would be a breath of fresh air- we have so few stories that include us, especially ones where we live through until the end, and dear god I live for those stories.

5. There are two kinds of partial seizures: simple partial and complex partial.

Simple partial seizures are seizures where your character is aware of what’s around them.

Complex partial seizures are when your character loses consciousness.  Not convulsing or dropping to the floor, just blanked out.

Many people (like me) have both types.  In fact, I’ll usually have several simple partial seizures mixed with complex partial seizures.

My usual complex partial seizure is:

-I lose consciousness.  A few seconds later I regain consciousness, and my body is in roughly the same position, but during the seizure my body slumps down.  This is usually fine, but is hazardous while crossing the road, cooking, or carrying something delicate.  It comes with no warning.

-If I’m walking, then I keep walking, or I (semi-voluntarily) sit down.  I generally lose consciousness halfway to the ground.  I take my time standing up, because I feel very muzzy.

-When it’s a stronger seizure, I might wet myself.  Wicked embarrassing, but the right combination of meds can stop it from happening.  (It’s been months!)

-Afterwards I’m muzzy/foggy, cannot understand spoken language or speak, and have lost track of what I was doing before.  After a few seconds/minutes, it comes back.

-Every time I seize, I kick my right leg.  I didn’t know this until my roommate told me they’d noticed a “tell.”

My simple partials tend to be:

-I lose the ability to speak, lose facial expression, and open my mouth while blinking/closing my eyes.  Sometimes I can raise on hand to give the “hold on a minute” gesture.  I’ve been told that I look like I’m in pain- I’m not.  It’s just muscular contractions.

-My vision just cuts out- I can’t see anything, and I feel confused and muzzy.  When I see things again I’m clear enough to know that I’ve seized and tell folks that I’m fine, I just had a seizure.

-HUGE dizzy spells.  Like, grab on to the wall and close your eyes.  (I used to have these in college, it was intense.  I’m on better meds now.)

Keep in mind: All of these vary in intensity and length.  I might blank out for a millisecond, so the person I’m talking to doesn’t even notice.  (Happened with my neurologist once.)  I also might lose my awareness of anything outside my body for a full 30 seconds.

Also keep in mind: this is just me, one person.  My seizures are all language-centric  (The first thing to go is ALWAYS the ability to understand spoken language) because my seizures come from the part of my brain that controls language.  (One area in the left Temporal lobe.)

Talk to other people.  See what their epilepsy is like.  What traits fit your narrative needs?  And above all, DO NOT KILL THE TWITCHER.

And when it’s finished, tell us who you are so we can all read it!  I’d totally read Supernatural Fanfic if it included an epileptic character, and I’d extra-read an original novel.  

Resources: http://www.epilepsy.com/article/2016/12/2017-revised-classification-seizures

http://www.epilepsy.com/learn/types-seizures/simple-partial-seizures

http://www.epilepsy.com/learn/types-seizures/complex-partial-seizures

http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs999/en/