#its not as bad online if i can meet people but irl it sucks

[happytripper]

once again wishing i had more friends

[correctproseka]

Ensekai really really fumbled the bag in Mizuki's storyline by using they/them pronouns and i can prove it

Ok so, ill start this by saying this does NOT mean that Mizuki's gender can't be "nonbinary" or that they cant use they/them. In the end it'll just mean that most of the characters would not know that at this point in the story and all views on mizuki, trans girl or nonbinary are objectively correct so far.

That ensekai fumbles translations is something we all know, the event names for example, a huge one is going on as i write this. Why the fuck is it not pandemonium like everywhere else??

Other fumbles we can't really blame ensekai for, song translations, as weird as they can seem, are chosen by the voca-p themselves

(even if they make it sound way more aggressive)

But on the stories? I complain a lot, they make the characters not look as gay, sometimes change their personality slightly and.

Sometimes. It kind of nearly ruins the story, which is Mizuki's case.

So, WHY did ensekai do that, and why is it different on jp?

Well, for starters, japanese does not have pronouns in the same way english does, they DO need to use pronouns instead of . "Mizuki said mizuki wanted this" every single time, so no pronouns, for a rhythm game is out of the question.

And they thought that they/them was a second best choice.

In japanese games and anime, people tend to see a gender funky character and immediately go for they/them, for one. But also not really the only reason.

The reason might have been the two usages of pronouns in japanese.

Introduction and character reference.

So, to introduce themselves, Japan uses a few pronouns such as atashi, watashi, ore, boku... Boku is a masculine leaning pronoun, and the one Mizuki uses. Its not the most masculine (from the ones i said, that would be ore) and in cases can be considered gender neutral, and sometimes, rarely, girls use it. Mizuki is one of these girls.

Another one is Rui, who's the only one to know Mizuki from middle school, calls them "Mizuki-kun". -Kun is ALSO male aligned but can be used gender neutrally, but there's also a difference here. Rui calls EVERYONE -kun, Shizuku, Saki, Emu. You name it. He uses -kun for everyone. So thats not a valid reason.

Another question you can have is: did ensekai ever use a different pronoun for Mizuki?

And the answer, surprisingly, is yes. Before niigo knew mizuki irl there's two times they use she/her.

Which really sucks, because that would mean Mizuki uses she/her online, but ws soon as they meet her, its now a they/them? Without any conversation about it? And if we assume there WAS a conversation about it...

Then WHY THE HELL is Mizuki scared of telling their secret, when they have already done it in this scenario?

Thats not the case, niigo clearly thinks Mizuki is a girl- a cis one at that- currently.

In a way, the only people who would make sense knowing Mizuki's pronouns is the Kamiyama people (not Ena), they're the ones that know how Mizuki is at school, they're the ones that know her secret.

And yet, if Mizuki uses they/them, even the bullies respect it. And if she doesn't use they/them, then that means An and Rui of all people misgender them. Its a mess.

So not only does it breaks the immersion, it can also mean that either the bullies are not transphobic (really, if they didnt want to LOOK like they're transphobic is it that hard to avoid pronouns?? They're paid for that come on), or that the PLAYABLE CHARACTERS are.

Mizuki being so scared of saying her secret when everyone uses they/them for her is honestly. Fucking bad story telling. If they wanted to have made Mizuki's gender a secret there's a lot more ways they could've done instead of they/theying Mizuki in the story. Such as marking the gender as "unknown" or just. Leaving the story as is, people would be dumbasses and make them think mizuki is cis? So??? Let them be wrong when the time comes. This way it pretty much ruins her events.

And thats not saying Mizuki cant use they/them, but at thid point the characters would NOT know, the point that Mizuki tells the secret is the point they should know.

And.. in the end. That makes the fandom worse.

Jp does not have fights on which gender Mizuki is, they do not care. Its Mizuki and they like Mizuki for who [Mizuki] is as a person.

Meanwhile the en fandom gets called transphobic if the headcanon is a transgirl and also if the headcanon is a nonbinary transfem. It makes no sense and is only worth to make fights happen.

[dearlyjun]

Omg I almost hit unfollow instead of talk I WAS LIKE NOOOO!!

Ooooo thats so nice!! Being a Multistan is great until you become broke! My first kpop group was Exo I remember Watching Monster and looking at Baekyun and being like who is this man and why is he so pretty!! Ngl I hid the fact that I was into kpop when I was in High school because it is so much more accepted now than back in like 2016! I remember one time in my AP Econ class I was sitting down and my school played a minute of a song before the bell rang and they played TT by twice and this guy behind me says "just like tt" AND I TURNED SO FAST!! I was like this isnt happening! we were both so shocked to find out the other was into kpop.

I am ENFJ from my last test result I took one last year!

I SAW A TT today and it was people making fun of californians because were all freezing our asses off rn! I really need to buy warmer clothing. I say this but I slept in shorts and a t shirt with the fan on last night....I KNOWW. I dont think I would enjoy driving in the snow that much. I feel like I would be stressed 24/7.

Japan is soooo nicee ive always wanted to visit!!

I saw your post about online schooling and let me tell you Ive always hated it. It feels so weird and you cant meet anyone and its lonely!!

Oh my god IM SORRY I TALK A LOT

ang please I love talking whether that’s to other people or just to myself so please I don’t mind!! 😭 (also hope if it’s okay if I call you a million variations of your name / nicknames because I do that lol)

ah I have actually known about seventeen since their debut in 2015 but I didn’t become a carat until 2022. weird shit. and I liked bts a teensy bit in 2019 when mots: persona came out but again….stopped listening. then the kpop stan came full force in april 2022. maybe it’s a good thing I wasn’t a kpop stan back in the day bc the pain of not seeing concerts sucks real bad. I actually don’t have any kpop stan besties irl, I’ve just converted my sister 🤠 she likes most of the same groups as me, just not the girl groups. (well she’s a casual newjeans listener)

I don’t even know what the weather is like in cali lol but I guess your cold is different from my cold. it’s like 35° here and I just went to the gym in a hoodie and a winter vest. we’re actually about to get some snow I think….grrrr😠 and yeh driving in it sucks. I’ve driven in snow storms so bad that you have to like sit up and drive in silence the whole way because you have to lock in.

since im going into the automotive industry, my mom has big hopes for me to work in Japan someday. even if its just temporary like a year or so. Im hoping after I graduate college i can travel there for fun and “plant the seeds.” BUT!! I have to learn some of the language first. im too sporadic with it and really need to buckle down.

yeah…..im a lonely girly lately. it’s really getting to me. I’m in my second to last semester of school and doing everything all online is just so very sad. I yearn for friendships.

[clubpenguist]

I have a question for if you suffer with chronic pain. Sometime last year I injured myself and have been living with chronic pain since, I live in fear everyday of causing flair ups because of how excruciating my pain is- and when I'm in pain I feel like my life is over. I cannot barely move, every step and shift is agonizing, i am rendered bed ridden at times. Do you have any tips on how to live life accepting your pain?

honestly anon, i wish i had more advice for you than i do! chronic pain is really hard to deal with, both physically and mentally, and im still in the process of figuring out how to accept and deal with it myself. im by no means an expert and honestly honored that you would come to me of all people for advice! if i have anything useful to offer you, its this: remember that nobody else in the world knows what its like to live in your body, except for you. and the people who actually care about you will know and respect this.

the last thing we need when flaring up is doctors and family members telling us that they know our pain better than we do - and yet, that seems to be all we get. they just LOVE to tell us that our pain cant possibly be THAT bad, that if we push beyond our limits just a liiiiittle bit more, we can “overcome” it (whatever that means). spoiler alert: if you try to push through the pain, all you will get is more pain! plus, you probably wont meet whatever unrealistically ableist expectations you were trying to meet anyway. pain exists for a reason! its your body's way of telling you that it cant do whatever youre asking it to do. and that really, really fuckin sucks when all youre asking it to do is, like, Exist, outside of your bed. it sucks bad. that's where the secret weapon comes in: a solid support system!

...okay, okay, i know the ~power of friendship~ wont actually fix anything. but the shitty thing is nothing else is really capable of "fixing" chronic pain either, aside from medication. so it still makes all the difference to have someone who genuinely *believes* you, and moreso who *respects* your needs and your limits. if i could wish for you to have one thing, anon, be it irl or online, it would be to have someone you can always reliably complain to about your pain without fear of judgement; someone who will check you whenever you start spiraling too deep into internalized ableism thoughts; someone who will keep you company on your worst days and say "you dont deserve this pain, but i will sit through it with you, and if you cant make it out of bed to see life's joys and pleasures, then by god i will bring life's joys and pleasures to you!!!"

(oh, and weed. lots and lots of weed)

[undead-clown]

vent ig whateverrr under cut

I hate struggling because i know people have it worse than me, so why am i upset, yknow? but FUCK im so upset all the time but its fine cuz people have it worse and me being upset is selfish.

i know it could be worse and shit i wish it was so i had a reason to be so upset about it but people have it worse so whats the point

i cant express that im struggling in school or at home because people have it worse and im entitled and selfish for thinking that what im going through is bad so who gives a fuck

i dont struggle as bad so its fine

i dont even have a reason to struggle im just an idiot atleast some peoples' reasoning for fucking up at school or wtv is their mental health but mine isnt bad enough for that

i really miss my brother.

I wish all my irl friends would leave me alr cuz i know they dont like me and i cant seem to fucking change and im tired of it

i really wish i could mask or just change how i act but i cant cuz im an idiot and nobody likes how i really am unless we're online where i can actually kinda control how i act. which sucks because nobody will ever like me. i don't wanna meet my partner irl cuz im scared because i know how i act irl and i cant change because im a fool and the worst EVER. and i can't stop having dreams about me fucking up or about me hurting people and im tired of it. im so stressed that im gonna do it that i dream about it. i just dont wanna talk to anyone irl anymore.

[ibolyafagyi]

social pressures eating my ass up.......... i freak out about making new irl contacts online, as in adding someone i met in real life ; and im also insecure trying to measure up with my few instagram numbers on my private account. because my numbers are low, its like im elevating the ppl that i do have contact with, like those 20 ppl are my bffs, which is not at all true. its a couple past dating app matches, a really few legit friends, a few of their friends, loose university contacts.

i want everyone to see me quietly, unknowingly, and know that im interesting.

i dont want to make new contacts.

i dont want to be "someone who cares about this".

so many ppl from my major have hundreds of followers, insta baddies, strangely preoccupied with a niche aesthetic, that at the end still feels alien to me. i wanna be like that, but also i havent been collecting contacts since years ago, and i feel like i still dont do it "right" currently, i dont wanna add new contacts... i dont want to look at and care for other people, i want people to care for me, reinforce me!

i feel like i need a token friend in my learnt language (my major). it feels, seems easy for others to do, n i feel like im late again, just like in all my teens about making friends and making steps in socialization. i am at the same time literally running from the exchange student i ended up in contact with. and it makes me feel small that i dont wanna meet her. and if i think about my therapist picking at this and asking why, i get soooo annoyed. ik its telling something, it may be regressive to not engage, but i wont cuz i have a lot on my plate rn, even if i miss this specific opportunity. might be bc of the selfishness of give me x, but i dont wanna give you anything.

reading back, all this seems so juvenile. its not like people have more authentic connections cuz they have instagram contacts.

i hate my therapist for making these problems so everyday in their nature, like what steps can we do to do that simple thing that im insecure about. in my brain i know it, i have the voice telling me it, that its not glorious and not dramatic and not huge, but i dont internalize ngl!!! cuz i hate the ungloriousness of it!! i preemptively feel stupid about them. i take them seriously, but it feels like this sentiment wants to cancel that, emotionally. they are huge things for me, and it feels so dissatisfying that others are incapable of seeing me/it that way, that its just another small thing for them, my big step a dust in their universe..... is that self-centeredness and immaturity? i mean yea. is it also perhaps a wound? i mean it could be?

i have other friends i havent written back to in a year. i have my high school classmates i was never comfortable with. ik its mostly about getting over it. no ones even forcing my hand to be besties with anyone, to go back and befriend my high school class at a reunion. it just comes back exactly because im stressed and insecure ----------

this loneliness sucks so fucking bad!

i hate overindulgent introverts bc this is that side of me! wallowing in own sadness. i wanted to believe i just have to believe in connection with other people, but it doesnt necessarily work just like that. i cant know. i cant decide. i cant just go in and feel fine and connected always. the answer to this particular step isnt "just suck it up and extrovert more". its not "introvert and find yourself cool by yourself" either.

i dont want it to be "stop thinking about yourself so much" either. cuz come on >:( i have to be between people all day everyday, changing situations, how could i stop perceiving my percepted perception! instagram is that perception hyperrealized. its an imitation and caricaturization of that same reality, but also it *is* a part of reality, its not like its not. ugh

[mrfoox]

Me disappointing people bc i suck at handling social conversations: I am sorry for being like this

[oh-katsuki]

hey cal, feel free to ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable. i just need someone to help me with this. is it normal to not talk to your mutuals anymore? like i talk to this person everyday but now their texts feel rude and the things they say make me very uncomfortable. but i can't block and move on because i've shared so much to them and i feel like people would start to question if we stop talking altogether. again i am very sorry if this is not something you're comfortable with. i'm just really lost and need some advice right now. /gen

hi nonnie <3 i'm sorry to hear that's happening. change is always difficult to handle, especially with people you care a lot about. im going to out my response below a cut since it's a big long.

it's completely normal to talk less to your mutuals. mutuals work just like normal friendships. sometimes, people grow or change or just stop talking. it doesn't necessarily mean that there is any bad blood, it just means that change is on its way and that's okay.

there's no need to block or ignore them or any of that stuff. y'all are just people dealing with your own stuff, it's totally normal to fade a little bit. it might suck because if you've been talking every day then it's quite a change, but that doesn't mean it is inherently bad. your friend could be dealing with their own stuff right now that they're not ready to talk about. or it could just be that you're both growing and your dynamic is changing and that's okay too!

i would try not to overthink too much about it. believe in the idea that people come and go from your every day life for a reason. do what you can to show you still care for them, but respect the boundaries they may be trying to put in place.

speaking from experience, you don't need to talk every day in order to be friends. my mutuals and i are still very good friends, but there are times when we'll go a little bit without speaking. it doesn't mean that we're not still close friends, it just means that our dynamic has changed in the time that we've known each other. take my irl best friend for example. I've known her since preschool and sometimes we will go months or more without talking, but we still love and care for each other the same way we did before. it's just that our lives and circumstances have changed and our friendship adapted to meet that.

it's important to remember that friendships between mutuals function the same as irl friendships and that a change in dynamic does not always mean someone hates you or dislikes you. it just means that something is happening and your relationship is adapting to fit those circumstances.

that being said, if they're being outwardly rude, mean, or making you uncomfortable / hurting your feelings, it might be time to consider if that friendship is good for you. your friend may have external circumstances that are affecting the way they interact with the world, but it's not an excuse to treat you poorly. I've had to do it before both online and irl and it can definitely be hard but you will be able to get through it. you don't necessarily need to block them, but if the case is that they are not treating you well, maybe consider just slowing down communication for your own mental well-being. there's no need to be confrontational about it if you don't feel it's necessary. try and go with the flow of things and maybe consider taking some space for yourself as well.

i hope this helps, nonnie and i sincerely hope that things get better for you and your friend. just know that however it ends up, you both will be okay. it's normal for friendships to change and grow. i hope everything turns out okay <3

[twisted-lies]

hey, i’m the anon that sent in that ask thanks for answering! i removed some stuff in the end but i hope this works. i’d like a DR (1 2 3 V3) kin match up (please and thank you!).

im an open book! i often over share (which i might do in this ;^^) to people i newly meet. whenever i do this it ends up an embarrassing moment i can’t get out of my head, which causes me to overthink a lot. i actually have a fear of embarrassment, which has prevented me from living (the most extreme thing being i stopped going to school for a year). because of the year break, and some people seeing me as too eager to talk to them i don’t talk with anyone irl. online is where i meet and know the most people, i try to join servers to talk about common interests but most the time i get too embarrassed to speak and just end up watching others talk. in a private group chat or dms, i’m a lot more talkative and people see me as funny. i’ve been called an airhead, which id say is kind of accurate. i tend to over react a lot as well, and i get scared very easily. i also consider myself fairly loyal, i can easily tell if i like someone and ultimately will dedicate all my time and energy to them if they allow me to. in the past, no one in my family took me seriously. i was the second youngest, and most of them coddled me. of course when my younger sister came along most of the attention went to her, but because were close in age it kind of stopped suddenly. i wasn’t really taught about necessities like i should’ve been, and i had to learn a lot of things on my own. as a result im very clumsy at things like cooking or doing my own hair, but i also am constantly learning. self care means a lot to me, and i’m very understanding of people’s boundaries. i get easily attached to people, even falling in love easily. i find myself being kind of cruel to people i think pity me, it makes me intensely uncomfortable and reminds me of moments i would rather forget. for interests, i like anything interesting! (i wasn’t sure how to word this, but i hope you get the idea) I enjoy video games (no specific genre), taking care of animals, and i also enjoy shopping, especially for home decor. i get easily sucked up into apps like youtube and tik tok, with my attention span being all over the place. i also really enjoy anything with drama, which is more of a guilty pleasure of mine. arguments on shows are just very entertaining to me, with some of my favorite shows being the challenge or big brother. i also have a soft spot for romance or mystery anime. i could talk about those topics for a long time, because i find them to have many different aspects to them. many things in my life tend to clash, the best example being that it’s natural for me to be talkative and energetic, i have a fear of embarrassing myself which refrains me from being either of those things. i try to put my self first, but i always have the need to help people. for example, a neighborhood dog has gone missing so i’ve been looking for it. it didn’t affect my daily schedule much as i’m mostly outside anyways. i like the drama in shows, but i don’t like the people who cause drama for nothing. i live pretty relaxed, so none of those really bother me. i don’t really have a sleep schedule, i sleep when i want to and it usually works out. it’s easy to persuade me, as i’m pretty gullible, but if you lie to me about something it makes it kind of hard for me to trust you again. my grades are horrible, but i really don’t care enough and i might not pass. despite getting attached to people easily, i tend to be kind of picky with who i hang around. while i can’t help if i like someone, if i don’t like someone i can be kind of vocal about it. in the past i’ve had a persecution complex, i consider myself over it now but i’m not entirely sure. i get random bursts of interests in different kinds of stuff, but when they’re random like that they hardly stick. i enjoy wearing over sized clothes, mainly because it’s comfortable. i love animal themed products, it could be anything i just find it cute!

I kin assign you with...

Ibuki Mioda

Firstly I thought of Ibuki Mioda, Ibuki is pretty talkative and tends to sometimes not have a filter to what she says and could easily talk too much to the point of saying something embarrassing and definitely could be seen as eager to talk. She's definitely onenof the funny ones in the group and lightens the mood pretty easily when she needs too. She could also be seen as airheaded and gets distracted pretty eaisly. She also can tend to over react or get startled pretty easily seen from certain scenes throught the game. Ibuki is probably one of the more loyal ones you'll meet. She'll take all of her time and energy and put it into one or multiple people she likes or really cares about. She doesn't have a very good attention span and can easily get distracted. She seemed to have a liking for video games in the anime when Chiaki and all of them played together. Ibuki also seems like the person to spend a lot of time decorating to make sure it suits her well. She could also easily be interested in drama due to her quirky type of attitude and input her thoughts here and there out of impulse. Ibuki would probably try to take care of herseld but when she sees someone who needs help she quickly springs into action and could easily forget about her own needs momentarily. I'd say Ibuki could probably have random bursts of interests and try to learn a few thing from her classmates though can quickly loose interest.

Tenko Chabashira

Secondly I thought of Tenko Chabashira, Tenko can be pretty talkative when it comes to the females in her class and could even often over share on accident. Though she knows when to stop when she's accidentally messed up though sometimes she won't and will carry on. Tenko can definitely tend to easily over react and be kinda protective towards people. Like when the male students of her class try to interact with the female ones she gets overly protective and over reacts about it and often tends to call them out and call them "degenerate". Which could link into you being a little more agressive or cruel when people come to pity you and as for Tenko it's likely it could be out of embarrassment or bad memories. And she's definitely vocal if she doesn't like you very well. I'd say Tenko is definitely picky with who she's friends with and when she finds someone she adores she'll try and put all her time and energy into that person if they'll allow her, though she may go over board sometimes. Tenko can fall in love pretty easily depending on her outlook on you like she did with Himiko, she probably did feel some kind of romantic attraction to her if not a really deep platonic one even if Himiko didn't exactly feel the same at the time. She definitely tries to be helpful if she can and though it may be one sided based on gender she's still pretty helpful to them and would leap into action when she needs too. She'd most likely be the first one to stand up for something as well. Tenko may be one for drama too, though not if it's unnecessary ones which could easily aggravate her. She probably also loves to watch romance related things especially if its wlw. Tenko is definitely loyal to ones she holds close to her heart and would do just about anything for them to keep them happy and on their feet. Tenko would probably be outside a lot like you are and likes to be pretty active thanks to her ultimate.

Gundham Takana

Lastly I thought of Gundham Tanaka, Gundham can be pretty talkative when she chooses to be or if it's the right person like when he started to grow closer to Sonia. When he did he pretty much invested all of his time into her and probably let her hold and pet his little hamsters! And of course made sure she was doing alright. Gundham loves animals of course, just like you do. He can be pretty judgemental of who he spends his time with and doesn't like people to pity him and doesn't take it awfully well and could be little more cruel or aggressive towards that person. He probably doesn't like to be seen as weak either. Gundham probably likes to listen to and or watch drama related things! Though he may not participate in it or put his input in he's definitely a listener and keeps up with it. He also probably isn't a fan of unnecessary drama though. He may also have a tiiiny soft spot for romance related things. Probably animal related if I'm being honest here. He probably doesn't take embarrassment awfully well and tried to cover it up with his more bold attitude. He definitely cares about others feelings and would like to help if he could especially if it involves a missing animal even if he may not show he does care. He probably doesn't have a consistent sleep schedule and whenever he does fall asleep it just ends out working for him.

I hope you're satisfied with your results! This was definitely enough for me so it was no problem!

[cozycornerwritings]

hi!! for the match up thing i’m indian-american, 5’6”-5’8” naturally rapunzel-length, wavy hair (brownish), glasses, brown eyes, corner dimples, aquarius, i’m an ambivert, i love video games, editing, reading, writing, sleeping lol, and i’m not good at drawing but i like doodles and coloring. i love k-pop (casual listener) and some non-kpop songs & i love watching a lot of anime & reading BL 🕴🏻 & manga. i get closed off in groups because i get anxious and i get negative thoughts and how i’m probably not even wanted there bc of bad experiences. in public i can get suuuper anxious because i’m rlly sheltered bc of my parents and i get all shaky. same like in public w/o my parents like i get shaky and an anxiety / panic attack and want to cry. ive never experienced things bc of my family like ‘normal’ stuff like the beach, traveling, ice skating, movie theaters and stuff. i hate it and i dont have the best relationship with my family they can be really toxic sometimes and the whole anxiety thing and that makes me feel really depressive and su*cidal sometimes for a while. i love physical affection and being shown that or told words affirmation. but irl i get awkward and shy w physical affection bc ive never experienced it and idk how to do it. im good thru text, irl i can keep a convo going. thru calls i get shy and nervous, especially if it’s the opposite gender. my face gets red easily like i blush a lot and it’s not hard to make me flustered lol. when i get like that or don’t know how to respond i just giggle bc idk what to do or say. if im sad and going thru it i make jokes to cover it up and laugh it off, one time someone just asked ‘are you ok’ after i did and my voice cracked ‘no not really’ and i started crying 😃 i keep stuff to myself (unless i trust that person to tell them stuff nd open up to them) i do have trust issues and i’ve never rlly had friends irl my parents are strict and never let me go out. online i dont rly have much friends either. im rlly observant, and like descriptive / detailed as u can tell 😭 kinda sucks thoo because a lot of people don’t read what i say bc they said they cant b bothered n it’s too long but i just get rlly engrossed into things & dont half-ass stuff and just wanna explain everything properly 😭 i can be sassy and give attitude, and i can be mean. BUT i never do that to someone unless they did me dirty. i dont like arguing. that side of me can be shown thru arguments but only again like if the other person is doing the same and is being mean and disrespectful to me first. i do have a lot of patience and endure things until it’s become like a problem? i make sure to communicate. i never ignore people, i’m not petty unless i have a good reason if they did something to me. i’m really funny i swear 😭 and i can be emotional / sensitive depending on what it is but i know when someone is joking but i know when things are taken too far and i have boundaries. i take caution when meeting people bc trust issues so i’m not that clingy unless i 100% like can count on them and comfortable with them trust them etc. i like teasing friends but just for fun and won’t take it far and make them upset or anything. if i ever hurt someone which i make sure not to i feel super bad and apologize a lot and make sure to never do it again. i try to keep my cool to refrain keeping myself from getting mad but the times i have gotten mad are reasonable and it has to be something super upsetting for me, i dont get mad w/o reason though and i start to angry-cry and yell but i try not to say anything that ill regret and make sure to think of what im saying. i love memes, idk how to describe my humor tho 😭, i’m diligent and considerate! i try to show i care thru actions and words of affirmation and quality time etc. i make sure to remember important stuff someone tells me abt themselves. i have a really good memory i don’t forget things that easily. i care for others a lot and im trying to take care of myself more now too but it can be hard. i’m not a liar i can be really blunt and honest. SORRY ITS LONG 😭

I match you with..

Lemillion!

I’m a firm believer that understanding opposites can bring out the best in each other. Mirio helps you come out of your shell. He loves to stroke your hair, and sometimes playfully pulls it. He is your partner and your best friend, so doing thinks like Pictionary or playing games today are a common occurrence. Joking and cuddling turns into a must for the two of you and you discover how much you love your head pet. His dependable personality provides a safe place for you, and you get the chance to trust in someone fully.

He appreciates how you are careful to watch how you act when you are upset, but loves how full of emotion you are. Seeing you cry breaks him on the inside and he just wants to scoop you up into hugs. Knowing that you have that big goof there helps you with your social anxiety. If someone is talking too much to you and he sees you getting overwhelmed, he will skillfully direct conversation away from you. Mirio gets very protective of you around your family. He constantly holds your hand and you two have established a safe word in case you want to leave. Mirio is more than happy to scoop you into his arms and run away with you. He is so emotionally intelligent and sensitive with you that you feel so safe and secure. If you could use one word to describe him it would be ‘home’. For the first time in a long time you begin to realize what family is, it’s mirio.

Knowing that you haven’t tried many things, you two make an effort to try new experiences together. He often flirts with you, despite the fact you two are together. He brings out the more sexual side of you. You compliment him and flatter him. He loves how much you appreciate him. You two take care of each other and your time is full of laughs.

[shitting-on-leftbook]

Was watching an AskReddit comp today about therapists' opinions on unhealthy internet behaviors, here are some of my favorites that are relevant for leftist spaces online:

Alt text is under the cut!

[Image 1: "Psych Nurse here, There are a number of concerning behaviours involving the internet. The one that concerns me, is seeing the way people will spend hours or days defending a topic or opinion they have....Back and forth bickering and name calling... Whereas IRL that disagreement would have ended very quickly or not even been addressed at all, because people don't generally disrespect others beliefs or outlooks that way in person... It causes anxiety in both parties, waiting for a reply..trying to come up with a smart remark...checking out from real life conversations to be consumed by an internet argument... It is detrimental to our minds to be trolls or be dragged in by a troll!"]

[Image 2: Person A posts, "From my perspective as a social worker: all the echo-chamber groups for anxiety, depression, mental problems. Where the members share a lot of private information just to be seen and heard. And they usually get the others members "solutions", which is formed through meetings with the healthcare system and personal experiences. That is scary if people are suicidal, have severe diagnoses or are getting into psychosis."

Person B comments, "I have seen a dangerously anti-recovery mindset in grief support groups, personally. The idea almost that one should never get over or get past a loss/grief, and that it is impossible to, and that anyone who ever suggests it is a horrible monster."]

[Image 3: "Overstating harm done to them and underplaying their own role in interpersonal conflicts. This is most epitomized in subreddits like r/relationship_advice or r/AmITheAsshole (but common in every corner of the internet) where people seek validation by claiming victimhood in their relationships while not mentioning the bad things they're doing to contribute to this unhealthy dynamic. It's always "I'm being abused / manipulated / harassed" and rarely "I want to learn, grow and do better." This leads to people never improving themselves, developing self-control, or examining themselves or their actions critically. This is terrible behavior that would lead to long-term unhappiness and dissatisfaction. And no one is willing to call out this crappy behavior online in case of an actual abusive relationship, which does need intervention. It's messed up all around."]

[Image 4: Person A posts, "People that take simple comments ("I don't like that movie", "I have this opinion instead that one", etc.) personal and attack you for them. Something must really suck in their lives if they come to a boiling point over something so trivial. I'm honestly worried about them sometimes."

Person B comments: "Not having the same tastes is not a bad thing. for example if we got two donuts. regular and with chocolate. if we differ in tastes and we got them in front of us its all good! you get what you like and i do as well. we both are happy"]

[Image 5: Person A posts, "1. People who take the internet too seriously, to the point where they are legitimately angry and proceed to belittle, troll and harass you. 2. People who do something wrong, then begin an all out campaign against you and/or the community. 3. Similar to the above, when someone breaks a tiny rule and gets told no to, then throws a fit and acts like the community is super strict. 2 and 3 are obvious signs of a spoiled brat who has never been told "no" in their life."

Person B comments, "I've seen people do 2 soooooo many times. Once some girl got into a fight with another girl on this site. Then, one of the second girl's friends began commenting on EVERY SINGLE ONE of the first girl's posts, saying what an awful human being she is. It was really fricked, and I blocked the other girl immediately."]

[Image 6: "1) the often rough tone on the internet (e. g. Insults, "just go and k*ll yourself", how easy it is to bully/harass someone online 2) the normalisation of heavily edited photos and the permanent exposure to "curated lifes" online which has such a negative impact on mental health - even people who are aware of social media's fakeness can't often escape the negative impact on their mental health."]

[Image 7: "I'm still just an intern, but for me it is how easily people can be sucked into toxic extensions of themselves. Not to mention how easy it is to argue and insult someone you have never seen, and will never meet. The echoing chambers that different communities provide just allows for extreme versions of those reasonable beliefs to breathe life. It's happened to me, and lots of people I know. I don't think people realize how that stress of always fighting or looking for the person to yell at can influence their mental health. The internet has allowed for compromise to be written off which is a huge problem in the real world."]

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #331

my head hurts way too badly to think up some intro lyrics, so just g’night.

Have you ever become good friends with someone you never met in person? Oh yeah, I've had best friends over the Internet. Hell, I'm closer to many online friends than I am most irl ones. They know "the real me" more. What do you consider your default mood to be? Stressed, probably. Discontent. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive for? Not long. Proper goldfish husbandry is a very neglected topic, and I sure as hell never knew how to set up its tank adequately. Have you ever been paintballing? No, don't plan to. It looks like it hurts like a bitch. Do you want a large wedding? No. Did you ever collect any sort of cards? I had a very small collection of Pokemon cards. I didn't collect them avidly. What’re the best and worst books you ever had to read for a class? The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton was the best. The worst was some book we had to read in the 6th grade about a kid during some war that moved around a lot... I don't remember the name or who wrote it, but it sucked. What’s the best meal you had at an amusement park, or If you haven’t been to one, how about a good meal at another place like a zoo, aquarium or museum? I don't know. I haven't been to many. Who, whether a person or company, emails you the most? My PHP therapist emails me a check-in sheet and Zoom link every day there's a therapy session. What kind of sound or noise freaks you out the most and why do you think it scares you? Let's seeeee... I don't know if there's a sound that actually freaks me out. There are some I don't like, but none that like, frighten me. At least that I can think of. What’s the strangest art piece you’ve come across? Biiiitch there's a painting in Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs I'm not gonna go into, but shit fuckin wild. What’s the most clever or unique name you’ve come across for a business? I've definitely heard some cool ones, but I don't know about one that really stands out to answer this. If you had to name one of your hypothetical future children after a song, which song would you pick? Maybe like... okay, I'm blanking. Good thing I'm not having kids to name then, right? What’s the last song you heard? "Down in the Park" by Marilyn Manson is on atm. What is your favorite line from a TV show? *shrug* Any current family issues? No. How many hours do you spend online a day? How do you feel about that? I'm doing something on the computer pretty much... always. I hate it, and I hate it a lot. I don't want my life to be tied solely to the digital plane. I want to do more than bounce back and forth from website to website. Do you think that people have the power to make their own lives better? Absolutely, but there are some things they simply cannot change. It's about perspective and how you play the deck you're dealt. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? Right now, the most limiting thing is my physical health, probably. Just walking being torture affects my ability to exercise, and my body is a major reason - if not the biggest, at this current time - for my depression. This also plays a massive role in jobs I can handle. Not to sound like my emo self writing middle school poetry, but my body feels like a prison. Do you feel that you are loved? I know I am by some people, though I have a hard time understanding why a lot. What is the one thing you want most from life? Life satisfaction. Pride in what I've accomplished. A regular state of being content. Birthplace? I'm just gonna say in eastern NC. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, merely infatuation. Love is much too deep for that. Do you think dreams eventually come true? Some can, but usually only if you put effort into making that so. Favorite fictional character? like ummmmmmmm have you heard of this sassy bastard called Darkiplier- Go to the movies or rent? Before Covid, I loved going to the theater. It was something to do, plus a giant screen is nice. McDonalds or Burger King? McD's. I'm not a big BK fan. I only really went there during my vegetarian phase for the veggie burger. Current annoyance? This motherfucking headache. Last thing you ate? I have a meal replacement shake with me right now, if you consider that "eating." I didn't have a proper dinner. The last solid food I had though was some cookies and cream Greek yogurt. Last thing you bought? With my own money, I think I bought Mom and I some cheap McDonald's order semi-recently? Or maybe paying my $100 deposit for my tattoo was most recent, idk. Soonest thing you are looking forward to? For Mom to get her CT scan and find out what's going on in there. What did you do today? It was a pretty average day. I woke up way too early, though. The only thing even semi-unique about today was I played World of Warcraft for a few hours again; I've been quite unattached to it lately, but I went through an episode today of actually having fun playing. Oh, and I've been battling a migraine. It's more of a severe headache now, at least, but it still sucks big time. Do you like to see it snowing outside? Oh yes, absolutely! When you were in high school did you ever have bomb threats? I believe once we did from a very volatile student that honestly caused quite a lot of trouble. He's dead now. Who knows ALL of your secrets? Nobody. Did you have a job before you were in college? No. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to have a baby right now? That's a terrifying thought, no. Are you on birth control? Yeah, but just because it tames my menstrual cramps. Without it, they could be debilitating some days. Who is your last sent text to? My best fren. Have you ever eaten at Chipotle before? Possibly? Idr. Do you swear often? Excessively. I had a dirty mouth prior, but my swearing got really bad when I started staying at Jason's house a lot. He and especially his mother swear like mad. Do you own any shirts with a peace symbol on it? No. Do you have your national flag hanging up anywhere outside your house? Not at this house, no. Would you ever go to Japan? Oh, yes. I would love to. It's... very morbid, but I would really like to walk the (public) paths of Aokigahara Forest, nicknamed "Suicide Forest" for the horrible amount of, well, suicides that happen there via hanging. Like, you might just casually run into a dead body. I want to just... feel it there, walk in silence and empathize with people who didn't know what else to do and hope so deeply that those departed know they were never alone in their pain. I know with absolute certainty I'd probably be teary-eyed the whole time and cry a whoooole lot, but it's just an experience I want to have. What was the last thing you went to Walmart for? Some basic groceries. What should you be doing right now? Sleeping, given this headache... I just don't want to yet. Are you afraid of getting your heart broken? I'm fucking terrified of that ever happening again, far more than words can properly express. Have you ever been in a choir? Yes, actually; when I was a Catholic kid, my sisters and I were in the church choir for a year or so, idr. Do you have a Twitter? Yes, but only to like Mark's tweets, haha. Oh, and very rarely enter giveaways I'm interested in. Describe your retainers to me, if you have them, that is. I have a permanent metal one behind my front row of bottom teeth to keep those straight. My upper teeth had one of those normal retainers you take in and out, but I didn't wear it enough, so now it doesn't even fit. Would you like for someone to call you right now? No. I'm tired, my head hurts, and I'm enjoying the song I'm bingeing. It's so weird, I rarely ever go on music hunting trips (no real reason, I just... don't), but I've found great shit lately. Do you like to brush your teeth? No; it's a chore. I only do it because I don't want my teeth decaying, falling out, or getting too yellow, and the taste in your mouth and gritty texture on your teeth isn't exactly great when you don't brush. Have you ever had a surgery? Two. Give out your phone number over the internet? I have over private messages. Do you look older or younger than you actually are? Given my wardrobe (like graphic tees and band shirts), I probably look younger in the eyes of especially older people. I personally say I look my age, though. When is the next time you’ll be up on stage? I never plan to be again. What is the last show that you watched a full episode of? Some cooking show with Mom. Nailed It!, I think? Do you know anyone who lives in Utah? No. I love Utah, though; it's actually a place I'd be willing to live in with just how pretty it is and not super populated. Do you get your feelings hurt easily? VERY. I'm probably one of the most sensitive people you can meet. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? Yeah. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Ugh, yes. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? First we took those nasty, chalky Flintstones kinds, but as time passed, Mom moved onto giving us gummy bear vitamins that were perfectly fine. Did you get any compliments today? No. Are you friends with your neighbors? Not "friends," no. What towns have you lived in? Three different ones. That's all you're getting. Have you ever thrown up from drinking? No. Done any illegal drugs? No. I mean I've had some alcohol underage, but I've never done anything remotely hardcore. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been on an airplane without changing flights? Idk. Who have you texted today? My mom and best friend. What time did you wake up this morning? Ugh, like five in the fucking morning. I couldn't go back to sleep. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Making shitty eye contact, and I'm one of those people who "talks with [their] hands." I also lose my train of thought a whoooole lot. Have you ever layed in a hammock? Yeah; we had one growing up. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? Well yeah, I've had lots of pets, so thus lost some in particularly painful ways. The most scarring loss of a pet though is as follows: Teddy, my dog, picked up one of our cat's very young, wandering kittens in his jaws in a manner that looked as if he was trying to carry it like Aphrodite (the mother cat) does when she would bring them back behind the couch, where she gave birth/had her little "nest." I absolutely freaked and had to pry the kitten from his mouth, and it slowly died in my hands. I think Teddy accidentally crushed its ribs. I. Was. A. Mess. Then, there was Aphrodite herself. I've told the story before of our former neighbors calling animal control because our cats would wander through their yard, and all of our cats were taken away while I was unaware at school. Came home, and they were all gone. Aphrodite was my baby, so I was devastated. Screaming, sobbing, cursing on the porch for like 20 minutes... It was awful. What type of curtains do you like? I don't... know? I don't know the actual names of any types... What type of quality is a must-have in a friend? I absolutely cannot be friends with someone who thinks they're above everyone else. Are you any good at reading someone's body language? I think I am. What goes good with a nice cold glass of milk? Cookies! Especially Oreos. Dip it in there for around five seconds, and it's perfection. What fruit is too sweet to you? Grapefruit came to mind first. How did you feel after your first kiss? I had butterflies galore and was so giddy and smiley. After the first, I just wanted to kiss him a billion more times. What’s your favorite constellation and why? I don't have one. Shower curtain or door? Curtain. The glass doors are too revealing. Have you ever thought to yourself that you’re the luckiest person in the world? Most deeeeefinitely not. What time of day do you most enjoy looking at the sky? Sunset if there are clouds present, but sunrise if the sky is pretty clear.

[bondsmagii]

Lantern, maple, amber

thank you!

lantern: how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?

let’s just say I wrote a lot about a particular character, and Vestris enjoyed what I wrote about that particular character, and then we started following one another’s blogs and got talking (for eighteen hours a day on Skype). the first time we met irl was when I drove down to London and stayed with him for a week after we had known one another online for like, three months, and it all kicked off from there.

first impressions? I admired his commitment. I had StatCounter at the time and I watched him methodically go through every single page of my blog, which is impressive. then I thought he was insane, because even after seeing my cringe-inducing blog in all its glory he still wanted to talk to me. he is insane, by the way, though not over anything so comparitvely simple.

my enduring impression was that he was just as obsessive and unhinged as I am, and that he might be a good person to have adventures with. I was correct there, too. now we’re married.

maple: is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

I’ve dabbled in a lot of hobbies I’d like to go back to: theatre, music, etc. I really would like to get back into those things seriously, because I do love them. specifically I want to get serious about learning to play piano, and I’ve been saying this for years. it would be my dream to own a piano of my own and be able to play it whenever I felt like. there’s just a draw in me towards a piano; every time I see one I want to play it, like I have some body memory as to how to do so, but my actual memory can no longer remember the specifics of the pieces. it’s kind of like a missing part of me, and I’d love to rectify it.

amber: share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

the increasing trend I’ve seen on here of demanding “reparations” because you’re a minority whose ancestors were done dirty in the past is cringeworthy and in very poor taste. it’s not appropriate to guilt or demand things from people because your ancestors were done dirty. it’s embarrassing to watch and it honestly feels incredibly inappropriate -- like the entirety of that suffering is being appropriated so people can get a few extra dollars on their CashApp. I’m speaking specifically of course about the trend of black people on here saying that because of slavery (or, in even more poor taste, the current political situation in America), all non-black people owe them money or they’re not a real ally. this isn’t a huge trend, but it’s a noticeable one that I’ve seen even while trying to avoid such things, so it’s permeating pretty deeply. it’s a disgusting thing to do, and no, people aren’t racist if they don’t give you “reparations” for slavery, full stop. let alone in an economic time as bad as this one.

it’s only a minority doing this, and in terms of the more recent things it gives the entire movement a bad name. not to mention it’s fucking stupid. nobody that these people are targeting had anything to do with that. in terms of accessibility to the people who hurt ancestors, I would have more of a right as an Irish person demanding “reparations” from English people, because this shit was still happening in my lifetime. but I don’t, because I recognise it’s bullshit to hit up random English people on Tumblr and be like “yo you owe me cash for this”. what planet are these people on? the only reason they get away with it even remotely is because people are scared to be deemed racist, but they can suck me long and hard through my jorts because refusing to bend to a guilt trip isn’t racism. fuck off.

autumnal asks 🍁🎃🍂

[cuddleslutloki]

I have a genuine question. How often do you actually deal with antis? I've been following you for a bit now and it seems every so often you bring up antis. I've certainly kept my interest about thorki shut and locked away in a box from my friends for the simple fact that all of them think it's incest. It's not an easy topic of conversation but you just seem to handle all the antis so well? Also on an off note about beast!Thor, his favorite pass time must just be rutting into Loki 24/7 🤔

when someone tells you that you're romanticizing abuse [bc i made a stockholm moodboard for a fic] I don't know what I'm supposed to say other than I don't condone it but I write about it? Is writing about abusive relationships bad in writing??? you're the only person i ask for advice so thank you for anything in advance

i’m honestly really glad you came to me. i really do like discussing this topic in this kind of way bc i’ll never reblog an anti or answer an anti ask. even if you’re arguing against them, i don’t think it’s worth it to argue against them if it means also spreading what they’re saying

the basic premise of all anti behavior and ideology is censorship. that’s all it is. 

“i don’t like this topic, you need to stop writing it and making art for it. if you don’t stop there will be consequences.”

that is censorship and that is the kind of shit fandom has had to fight ever since there’s been fandom. women, poc, lgbt+ folks have been dealing with people telling us what we can and can’t write and enjoy for... well, probably forever. but we’re still here, creating the kind of content we want to see and indulge in.

as far as how to deal with antis, my advice is to ignore, ignore, ignore. they want what any bully wants: attention

you stop paying attention, you stop giving them time they don’t deserve from you, they’ll die off. there’s no point in fighting them directly. produce the content you want to see and enjoy what you want to enjoy. drown them out. you don’t owe them a response just because they come to you. they don’t have any qualms about being rude to you, so be rude back and just ignore them. i love blocking antis, personally. take out the garbage, y’know?

antis use the words ship and support as synonyms because they think that shipping is some radical call to action for lgbt rep instead of entertainment

shipping is not activism. shipping is about entertainment and enjoyment, nothing more

so this is why i have this very blasé attitude about antis. i just don’t give a fuck about them beyond making posts trashing their idiocy. because that’s what it is. it’s idiocy, but going deeper it’s puritanism at its finest. antis use fox news scare tactic logic under the guise of some pseudo feminist agenda because they don’t understand and don’t want to understand that enjoying dark fiction as entertainment isn’t equivalent to some greater moral stance

they use the same argument about shipping and fanfiction that WASP moms use against video games and loud music: that enjoying and consuming it will make you think it’s normal and there’s nothing wrong with it irl

okay, well, vlad the impaler never played CoD or far cry and caligula never watched hentai but we know why i’m bringing them up in this context without even heading over to wikipedia, don’t we?

they use the words abuse and pedophilia waaaaaayy too liberally and they’re doing more harm than good because they’re twisting and warping words that should have very specific meanings by using them so goddamn vaguely and irresponsibly 

my own personal theory is that these people are terrified that if they don’t yell in opposition to these topics 24/7 and actively attack content creators that they’d probably enjoy it, and they’ve been so programmed by the echo chamber of tumblr and twitter that they think this means they’re bad people. 

spoiler alert: that’s not what it means

i literally watched a circle jerk on twitter where screenshots of some mafia starker au got tweeted and retweeted w/ pictures of someone pouring bleach into cereal and people had asked to see more of the post. if you really don’t like something, you shouldn’t hate-read about it. it’s not productive, it does more harm than good if that’s the actual issue rather than some reverse psychology-style enjoyment they’re probably getting out of it.

they claim to hate this shit so much, but they’re reading hundreds and thousands of words and putting these images in their heads of their own free will. i don’t do that with shit i genuinely dislike. i avoid it.

i see antis say they enjoy thorki fanart because they think it’s cute, then they see it’s tagged thorki and they have an over the top reaction because the nature of anti ideology states you should never enjoy something like that, so if you do then you have to make the excuse of ignorance to prove that you’re still innocent and pure. enjoyment is apologism to them because they aren’t content to simply attack fan creators, they want to try and drive away the people who consume our art as well because they know you’re the cornerstone of fandom. consumers are why creators create. yeah, i write because i enjoy it, but i also write to connect to my readers and have people commenting on my fics when they like them.

it’s also worth noting that antis only ever talk about shipping. they only talk about sexual and romantic ships. i’ve never seen an anti talk about (often extreme) levels of violence in canon source material for the ships and characters they want to froth at the mouth over. 

seeing someone bleed out and choking on their own blood after being stabbed or shot or bludgeoned? meh

seeing a character who was once a child have a sexual thought about a character who was also once a child and is also their close friend? omg why are we trying to make fandom unsafe for people?

personally, i’ve also noticed that fandoms with darker canon material tend to have more chill fandoms most of the time. i think it also depends on the average age in a given fandom. there’s a major difference between fannibals and steven universe fans, let’s just say that.

creating a moodboard for a dark fic is not “romanticizing abuse” and at this point antis honestly have no fucking idea what that phrase is. they use those words the way a bored CEO uses social media buzzwords and hashtags in a staff meeting

if antis want to see true romanticizing of abuse then they can go to serial killer thirst tags and spot the fucking differences between shippers and people who forget that ted bundy was weak, flaccid, cowardly piece of shit

writing something dark or violent or whatever else and condoning the act or doing the act are different. this is why stephen king isn’t under government surveillance or in prison.

make no mistake, this anti shit only applies to fandom. they’re attacking creators here because creators out at the professional levels don’t give a fuck. they’ve tried, and they’ve failed. 

creators at the professional level understand something antis don’t: that being able to reconcile your enjoyment of dark media can be a sign of emotional intelligence and good emotional health. it’s cathartic. it’s allowed to be cathartic.

the most common consumers of dark fiction are members of minority communities and people who’ve been emotionally and/or sexually repressed for one reason or another. 

antis want to say that fiction doesn’t exist in a vacuum and they are 100% correct! because writing fanfiction and original fiction that relates to parts of my life that nearly killed me gives me control over something that was beyond me in the original context. writing about fucked up codependent, violent romance allows me to process my shit in a way that’s healthy and produces something fun and enjoyable.

my therapist knows i ship thorki, she knows i write thorki. i’ve had her read pieces of fanfiction i’ve written in addition to pieces of original fiction. y’know what she said? “wow, baylen, that’s vivid. you have a way with words!”

i read her a line out of smart boy and told her what the story was about and this trained professional said “well it’s a productive way to process some emotion that you clearly need to let out”

but you know what? if someone doesn’t have the trauma i have? let them write it, too! let them create and enjoy the fictional content they want! more cake, y’all!

finally getting around to one of the first parts of your ask, lol. thorki is incest. thor and loki are brothers. they were raised believing they were blood brothers, even. loki being adopted doesn’t change a thousand years of personal history where thor looked at loki and thought that they came out of the same woman, y’know? 

that’s his brother and in the comics his attachment to loki is even more intense. the mcu nerfed that shit. loki’s life has been intrinsically tied to thor’s ability to feel a full sense of joy. 

enjoying an incest ship isn’t some sign of moral depravity. writing abusive relationships isn’t bad. gone girl was made into an award winning movie. art should look like life, and sometimes life fucking sucks. dark stories, sad stories, fucked up holy shit idk if i can go to sleep after i read this stories exist for a reason. we need them. we have to have an outlet for our frustration, our anger, and especially our fear.

so which is the healthier option of these

to write up a piece of fanfiction where two siblings are in love in a way that might be cute and soft or might be destructive, depending on your mood?

or

attacking strangers you don’t know online and threatening violence against anyone who doesn’t think like you do?

i know what kind of person i want to be.

ship and let ship, thanks for reading my doctoral thesis office hours are always

[dxmedstudent]

I hope your e-learning is sufficiently satisfactory. If you want a break, how’s about D&D asks 16, 24, and 31-35?

Aww thank you! Getting this ask cheered me up.  It took me all that evening to do my elearning, but I feel hinoured to answer your questions now. I thought I’d leave them til I could do them justice  :D From this meme. 16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?DnD? Online, sadly. It doesn’t stop me from buying way too many dice because they are small, relatively cheap, shiny and make me happy. My friends and I do play in person from time to time - we spent almost a week doing nothing but play games when we went to the expo earlier this summer. But we haven’t played DnD when we meet up. So I’ve never - technically - rolled for initiative XDI love playing online with them because we all live geograpgically scattered in or around London; close enough to meet occasionally, but not close enough to play on weeknights. This way, we get to play more often because we don’t have to worry about travelling to each other, or the other realities of in-person gaming. Which means playing more often, and moreBut when we play games IRL it’s much nicer, because people get more into the roleplay  and you just get to spend time with your friends. There’s an atmosphere about being in the same room that you can’t quite get from skype.

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

When I started, I made a spreadsheet of spells I was considering for my wizard, having looked at lots of discussions of which ones work well and which don’t. I basically picked all the spells I thought I’d want. But, each time I level up, I re-examine it and change my mind. Oh, I’m also in charge of the group loot and finances. Mostly cos I like making colourful spreadsheets. Interestingly, my friends decided that meant my character should be the one carrying the Bag of Holding in game. They just all started assuming that. I let them roll with it cos why not? My wizard would probably think it was pretty cool. At first, I did a lot of reading to make sure I could understand the rules. Now, I open up my spreadsheets and word docs (I chronicle what happens as we game), and I’m good to go. Oh, and when I’m not in an art block desert, I sometimes try to set the mood for games by posting art to our whatsapp group before the game to get my friends excited. 31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?Hmm, I’m not sure I could pick one! I’ve gotten furthest with my level 8 elven wizard, but I found my bard/sorc tiefling to be such a fun dynamic. I didn’t enjoy being very squishy as an early level wizard, but it really helped shape her character.  And I enjoyed how my group (made up of 3-4 elves) played that snootiness and social drama to its full effect. I quite liked another game in which I had a cleric halfling (or was it gnome?) sort-of-pirate, in part because our entire party was coincidentally made of little people - dwarves, gnomes, halflings and a kobold.  I’m looking forward to playing something different at some point - I’’d like to create characters for  most of them. There are so many races and classes I haven’t yet made characters for, or played, so I couldn’t say for sure, until I played more of them. 32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)I deliberarely chose a wizard at first because I didn’t want to be a healer; enough of that at work, thanks. I just wanted to do cool things. It’s pretty fun playing the glass cannon; you get to be an under-estimated character who then turns around and does something frighteningly awesome. Even if you fail all your strength rolls and nearly die if an opponent touches you. But of course, you don’t let them touch you because your intellgence is 20. Mwahaha But really, I like being able to cast spells that change battle for my friends; blinding an opponent, for example. I try to avoid fireballing everything because I don’t want to dominate play or deprive my friends of things to do. So that remains a potent nuclear option for when the situaiton is desperate, and I avoid it losing its effect. For my tiefling, I was guest-starring in my friends’ long-running game and didn’t want them to die. So I picked a chacacter which was partly a bard for the healing spells and musical flair. And healing people is surprisingly nice. I like making sure my friends don’t die. That’s the one thing wizards suck at. 33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?Oh, I write so much of a backstory. First, I pick a race and class and have a rough idea of what they might be. Then I roll up some stats and create them as per the book. Once the basics are out of the way, I get to work making a story behind them.  I have to know what their childhood was like, how they got on with family and friends. If they’ve ever fallen in love, and if it worked out (usually not, cos why would they leave their sweetheart to kill rats in sewers?). I need to know what motivates them. Not only why they are adventuring, but what they want out of life. What they fear. What they think of their party. 34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?Both. Also, what I think my character will pick as a person. So my barely-of-age evoker wizard wants to prove to her overbearing family that she’s good enough to be a wizard and take on her mother’s family legacy, despiite her father’s humble (and shh! not entirely high elven) heritage. She’s young and naive and a little angry and her idea of learning to be powerful is big spells that go BOOM! She wants to defend herself and her friends, and defeat the bad guys, and she believes that just immolating them is a viable tactic if they are evil and out to kill her. She doesn’t have to find a clever solution when that will do. So I pick spells with that evocation feel whenever I can. But she’s also sensible and recognises that we don’t just need boom spells, we need to hold enemies, or help our friends, so she’s begun to diversify as she got more mature. And out of character, whilst I try to pick things I think she wold want to learn, i’m not just going to pick every evo spell going for the flair. I know that I also don’t want to be useless to the team. But, whenever I can, I try to retain a bit of that flair by reverting to her style of magic so she’s still herself. 35. How much roleplay do you like to do?I love roleplay. I’m also quite shy, and sometimes tired, so there will be sessions when I don’t say much; my character would never volunteer herself as the first to talk ot strangers - not with the Lady High Elf or the talkative bard  or the thief/paladin charmer all in the party. But I do love our roleplay heavy sessions, and when I’m relaxed and when it feels in-character, I do love to get into it sometimes. I’m lucky that my friends are a mix; some people love roleplay, others like it but are more shy, so there’s no pressure to ham it up, but also no judgement if we do.  It’s easier if the character is like you; a reserved wizard (or my librarian in our CoC game) is not far removed from a nerdy doctor introvert. My more loquacious and flambouyant tiefling bard is alittle harder for me to get into the mood to play, but I think I’m getting more into it with time. I’d like to get better at diving into roleplay because I feel it adds something to the game.

[phainon]

and how you feel about things that hurt you and your values >all the posts about your relationship with your family and people you interact with in general, they are all painfully Fi. Never ever have I seen a Ti dom express themselves like that. You have yet to post anything even remotely related to Ti, don't you think it's strange? Not even your aesthetics point to Ti or Fe, it's again very 9 and 4/Fi like. I'm really done this time lol 6/6

7/7

ok this got super long so I’m putting it under a read more lol

frankly that post I wrote a while ago sucked ass so I don’t have much to say regarding that but I disagree with:

“Because the flaws and bad behaviors attributed to inferior functions can also come from Ennegram issues (particularly instincts when young) or other sources.”

it’s pretty easy to tell which bad behaviors stem from mbti and which from ivs. cognition vs values. I stand by what I originally said being low Fe related since I doubt a soc blind Fi child would be as self conscious as I was about how others responded to my social fuckups.

“Your "inferior Fe" sounds exactly like so blind + 5w4″

yeah I agree it does sound like those things but it’s not those elements of my personality in isolation. for it to reach the point I was referring to as a Fe grip, there has to be a period of perceiving and interpreting the reactions I talked about as well as desperately trying to meet the “standard” behavior, and for that there has to be Fe. and I’m a 9w8 not 5w4 lol but I do have a 5 fix so I’m guessing that’s what you mean

“Also, your idea of Fi (not caring about social skills) is wonky.”

that’s not what I said. what i said was a Fe user with bad social skills will be aware of the negative feedback they get from others and react accordingly, while a Fi user in the same position will be oblivious to these cues. it’s not about social skills, it’s about interpreting the immediate feedback. soc blind fi obviously wouldn't have any of the issues I mentioned. where's the problem with this statement?

“As for why I think you have clear Fi (NO, I'm not the OP who said you had it lol, I just realized I had to say that): imgur.com/a/priJKb6″

1st pic: literally how is that Fi

3rd: obvious joke

the rest: i thought it looked cool

listen my blog is just stuff I like lol i don’t care about what half the pics i rb say as long as they look good if I’m being honest

“Also: the way you ask for and contests info is the epitome of Te.”

not sure what you're getting at here. in what way is me asking for people to explain how they reached their conclusions the epitome of Te?

“as much as you might wanna attribute your Tarot/astrology thing (you obviously take it very seriously) to tertiary Ni, that's actually a Fi thing. There's a reason why a big chunk of people who expose and talk about these issues online are xNFPs, and it's not Ne. Real INFJs seldom expose that side of them unless they're professionals looking to make profit of it. They're part of your identity, everything you post clearly is,and you want the world to know that”

ddfdfdgdgfd a part of my identity that I want the world to know??? what are you talking about. I assure you they're my interests and I know I post about them a lot but it's for my own reference and just.. because I like them? you seem to be assuming things here bc I don't think I've ever implied that either of these is a part of my identity (i barely have one afdhsh) + pretty sure I've talked about my opinions on astrology and its different systems in the past and I've been pretty impersonal about them for the most part. I just think they're neat lol and theres plenty of Ti users on here that are into the same type of ~mystical and occult~ things so I don't see why that would point to Fi. and no I don't "want the world to know that" I really REALLY don't think in these terms at all. this blog is literally just about what I like and what I think looks aesthetically pleasing, I'm not trying to project an image or show off “who I am” (if anything that sounds like a heart core thing??)

also wouldn’t Te be more concerned about how there’s no “proof” for this sort of thing... funny how there’s plenty of unhealthy instances in my life that can be attributed to an inf Fe grip (because yes I still think inferior functions are really fucking obvious) but no sign of Te on my blog nor irl (think emoji)

“Real INFJs seldom expose that side of them unless they're professionals looking to make profit of it.”

where have you been dude there’s literally so many people that aren’t xNFP’s that post about this stuff because... people have interests. that’s it. it’s not a skill or a way to fuel my ego or show myself off or some shit. it’s not even that serious like I’ve said multiple times that I don’t 100% believe in this stuff, it’s just fun. idek what to say to this anymore lmao

“and how you feel about things that hurt you and your values >all the posts about your relationship with your family and people you interact with in general, they are all painfully Fi. Never ever have I seen a Ti dom express themselves like that”

I want to know what exactly about the posts I’ve made about my family/relationships is Fi :0 also the mere act of having values is not a sign of Fi.

you do have a point about how much i express myself and how emotionally open i am on here though LMAO I guess that is sus. I'll admit idk what to think about that quite yet. shrug

“You have yet to post anything even remotely related to Ti, don't you think it's strange?”

what's a Ti related post??

“Not even your aesthetics point to Ti or Fe, it's again very 9 and 4/Fi like.”

> using aesthetics to detect judging functions

L

ok and finally, something I don’t understand is the discrepancy in you claiming that I’m definitely soc blind and also Fi dom, but then you also saying that soc blind Fi won’t care about other people’s responses to them... so like... why did I care so much lmao