#its not all my fault he just doesnt want to be in a long distance relationship (understandable this shit kinda sucks)

[lulladae]

i am free from paranoia and sadness, time to become an influencer

[strawberrymatchawhore]

7

exbf!jungkook x exgf!reader

“you wrap around me and you give me life… and that's why night after night i'll be lovin' you right”

summary- after seven long years of the breakup between you and jungkook, he randomly decides to show up and tries to prove that hes really a changed man.

warning/s- DUBCON. rough sex under the influence (both sides), hesitant y/n, choking, fingering, messy sex, lovebomb/confession, nutting inside (a/n also sorry for not posting for a while n this was kinda rushed soo i do apologize in advance LMAOOO)

you loudly groaned and smacked your hand around the couch to look for your phone, who the hell calls at this hour ? you took a hit of the joint youve been smoking for the past few minutes and then clicked the answer button.

“hello ??” you lazily say and roll your eyes and take another hit.

spam callers are so fucking annoying.

“y/n…” the voice says, it was deep and husky… even almost sounding like..

“huh ?!!! jungkook ??” the call abruptly ends until a loud knock can be heard from your front door. you get up confused and take a peak through the window and see your ex boyfriend leaning against the porch chair.

fuck what now

you open the door and take a second to figure out what to say.

“what are you doing here ?” you said in a monotone voice, trying to hide your interest as to why he decided to show up after so long.

“i need to talk to you y/n.. please.” he slurs gently pushing you aside to go inside your house, the smell of alcohol and expensive cologne accumulating from his body.

“jungkook..” you tried slowing his pace down and pushing his chest but he wouldnt budge.

“jungkook !! you cant just randomly show up to my house like this and expect me to welcome you with open arms !!” you dragged him to the couch and made him sit down you stood in front of him and examined his state.

“y/n you smoke now ?” he picked up the joint and tossed it back down.

“yeah that doesnt matter right now, why are you here ?”

“look.. i just wanted to say.. i just wanted to say that im sorry for everything that ive done to you in the past. i know words cant fix the damage ive done but after all this time i never forgot about you and i realized all of my faults.. i really really have changed for the better, and i hope you can let me back into your life again y/n.” he slurred, it was almost funny how desperate he sounded. like the roles of the past were now reversed.

you tilted your head, jungkook was never one to own up to his mistakes or even apologize. the sinking feeling in your stomach rises when he briefly mentions the past. but even drunk, maybe he really has changed. it has been 7 years. you stood in silence as jungkook made himself at home on your couch.

“look jungkook, its been a while im gonna have to think about it. and youre drunk, just lay there and i’ll get you some water. you can spend the night.” you softly said, damn it. he was good.

he nodded in response and you went to the kitchen to get water and meds, this also gave you time to collect your thoughts. you said you would think about forgiving him but could you really believe that he’s changed after the relationship you were in with him all those years ago ?

you put the stuff for him on the coffee table and sit down near him, trying to keep a distance. closing your eyes and opening slowly feeling the high more. you look over to jungkook and laugh. this didnt feel real at all.

he then sits up and scoots closer to you, leaning his body onto yours. his mouth was now near your ear and you could feel his hands gently massage your waist. he pulls you to his lap and you let out a low gasp from the sudden movement.

“jungkook. we really shouldnt be doing this…” you say using his thighs to try to get up. the grip he has on your waist tightens, almost bruising even. you wince and move around his lap more to try to get free.

“what do you mean ?” he lowly says he keeps one hand on your waist and massages it his other hand makes it way up to your neck and squeezes.

“you’re basically grinding on me.” he chuckled, you could feel his bulge pressing against you. you whine and dont respond. only the music playing from your tv could be heard. what situation did you just get yourself into ? he lets go and his hand slides down to your pj shorts touching the wet spot on your panties.

“s-stop.” you moan, sounding extremely unconvincing. the both of you knew that you were just saying bullshit, your legs basically open wider for him to continue further. his pushed your panties to the side and gently rubs your clit, and teases it before dipping a finger into your pussy.

“you sure you want me to stop ?” he adds another finger and speeds up, his palm stimulating your clit. you moan and grab his hand.

“…your pussy is just so fucking wet.” jungkook whispered in your ear. you know you shouldnt be enjoying this but you honestly missed him and wanted more. not that you would admit it. even though he most definitely knows by now.

“fu- all f’ you.” you mewl biting your lip, it felt too good.

“yeah all f’ me ? does it feel good baby ?” he teases nibbling your ear. you moan incoherent words and close your eyes.

“course it does just listen to how youre taking my fingers.” you could hear the wet slick sounds of his long skinny fingers going in and out of your pussy. his rings adding more to the package. you could feel yourself about to cum and jungkook slows down.

“you gonna cum ?” you whine and nod yes grinding on his hands to try to get back the lost stimulation. he removes his fingers from you and roughly shoved them into your mouth, you automatically suck and swirl you tongue them licking them clean of your juices. seems like you still have some muscle memory.

he guides you off his lap and maneuvers you face down ass up. giving him a full view of your ass, he gives a few hard smacks before you feel him move his tip up and down your pussy. already antsy and wanting more, you try to reach back and put it in yourself but he grabs your arms and pins them to your back, forcing you to arch it even more.

“uh uh youre not allowed to touch, just lay there and be a pretty little thing for me.” he says before pushing his dick inside of you. your mouth opens into a silent o and you push your hip against his.

“ah-h feels so good kookie.” jungkook leans forwards and uses your arms to thrust faster and harder. your ass bounces from the force.

“fucking missed this pussy.. missed you. ah- fuc-” he breathily whimpers, your moans synching with his.

“youre the only one that makes me feel like im enough and i- fuckkk- im sorry.. oh my- god.” he rambles and moans completely pussydrunk, your cream forming rings at the base of his cock. disappearing and reappearing with his thrusts. he lets go of you and rest his hands on your hips, guiding them towards his big cock.

“you got nothing to say y/n ?” he mocks knowing that youre fucked out, your head rests on the couch cushion and drool covers your chin. you could only moan in response, tears filled your eyes as you felt yourself about to cum.

“no-gonna cum ahh!” your eyes squeeze shut and you grip the couch, your body starts to shake and you expect jungkook to slow down. but no, this man is evil. in fact he speeds up and fucks you through your orgasm.

“jungkook.. jungkook thats too much !!” you whine and reach back to push on his abs. but he chuckles and grabs your arms again. lifting you up against his chest with one arm. the other wipes your tears and rests against your neck.

“gonna fill you up nice n deep.. wanna see that shit leaking from your tight pussy.” he squeezes your neck, if his arms werent holding you up. youd fall right down, the pleasure he was giving you was intense. he was fucking you stupid.

“fuck jungkook, please cum inside please please.” you could feel your second orgasm come when jungkooks first arrives with it. his thrusts gets sloppy but he tried keeping his pace. you were met with a warm sticky feeling inside you when jungkook gently lets you go.

“so pretty all filled up with my cum baby.” he coos and drags his leaking cum back inside you with his fingers. you whined from the overstimulation and he laughed in response. making sure all of it went back inside you, he leans next to your figure and brings you into the little spoon position.

“i love you so much y/n i promise to never hurt you again.” he kisses the top of your head and cuddles into you tighter. you dont respond and just lay back feeling your high come down. this was gonna be a long and hard night of thinking, who the fuck did you let back into your life ?

[is-on-its-way]

orison wip

My hc is scully was with child from the ivf and she lost the baby in Orison… I know… Im absolutely not well. 🤗

Shes gone in the morning when he opens his eyes.

He sits up “scully?” he calls out although he doesnt know why. He knows shes gone. 

No answer. 

He gets up and walks around, still nude, to the bathroom, kitchen, and extra room. She’s gone. Long gone. The sink is dry. 

He looks on the dining room table for a note.  they always leave notes. 

It was three words long. 

Mulder, Im sorry 

He let out an audible groan of despair and exasperation. he hadn’t wanted her to regret it and she was. Their first time and she was ashamed. He rubbed his face and got the sleep from his eyes, thinking what the plan was.

He called their office.

No answer.

He dialed again. 

“Hi sir, Is scully with you?”

“No. Why agent Mulder? Skinner said with a sharp tone of warning.

“Sir, were going to need a personal day.”

“Agent mulder! Where is she…” he hears as he pulls the phone away from his ear.

He calls Maggie.

“Hi Fox.” Comes her sing song voice.

“Hi Maggie. Is um… Is scul… is Dana there?

“Yeno.” Then a pause. “Sorry Fox, shes… I haven’t seen her today.”

“Thanks Maggie.” he said, closing his eyes. He exhaled a sigh of relief at finding her so quickly. All of his anxiety, well most of it drained away. He hoped he hadn’t ruined everything by letting himself become her solace. 

“Im coming over. I need to see her.”

“Okay” she said a little quieter. “Bye Fox.”

Hes already pulling on underwear one handed as he tosses the phone on the bed and searches for his shirt and pants in the tangle of clothing on the floor.  

Cringing at the thought of scully ever finding out he’d talked to her mother in the nude with the memory of her still on him. He hadn’t washed after all, just got up, used the toilet, wet a washcloth with warm water, and handed it to her so she could clean herself up before she got up. He’d fallen asleep as she was in the bathroom but he remembered her coming into bed and wrapping her in his arms, whispering its “Its not your fault Dana” as she sobbed into his chest; As he teared up in her hair. 

Maggie opens door and lets him in. 

Scully’s sitting on the couch looking worse for wear, face pink and puffy and blank. Unreadable for a moments that feel like eons. But then her face softens, and his own melts from apprehension to he meet her with the same expression. 

Maggie interrupts their silent communication glancing from one to the other.

“Ill be upstairs I have to get back to the laundry.” She says gently. Retreating without either of them glancing at her. 

Mulder stood in his spot leaning against the molding of the living room entry. Waiting for her to speak.

“My mom is not good at stealthy stuff” she said finally. 

“I would’ve come anyway if she was” he chanced a small smile at her.

She gave him a tense smile back “ of course you would.”

“You think you can just leave bc youre ashamed? How many times have i been embarrassed in front of you? We’re past that Scully.”

“This is different”  she said in a quiet whistful voice as she looked away from him to the sky outside the windows.

He went to her, he could no longer hold himself at the distance he knew she wanted. 

Instead he knelt down on the floor in front of the couch at her knees. He whispered her name like a secret word, like a prayer, like it was the most sacred word in the world. He leaned against the couch hands itching to touch her. But waiting for her to find his face. 

“Dana” he said again with the same reverence. She closed her eyes and turned to face him. When she opened them it was a revelation. His heart compressed as if squeezed in his chest. And he felt a wave of emotion crash over him. 

He found her hand in her lap and wove his fingers through hers. Playing with them like he’d done a hundred times before. 

“You told me, you said you didnt want me to regret it.”

“Do you regret it?” He tried his damndest to not let the cold chill of panic flooding his spine show on his face or in his voice. He knew it would be no use she knew him.

She looked at him, sorrow on her face and he prepared for the worst. 

“Not you” she reached a hand to his cheek. 

“I regret how I did it. Why I did it”

“I couldn’t see your face and put on a smile this morning when you woke up.”

“I don’t need a smile scully I don’t need anything other than who you are.”

A tear fell down her cheek off her chin and into their hands. 

“Dana” he said and leaned his forehead to hers. “Our baby” he managed, before his voice failed him.

He choked back a sob.

“I didnt realize how much love I would have even before…” he said his voice shaking. As he found her face with his hand and held onto her as if she were a life raft.

“Oh mulder” she called out in a high pitched desperate cry as sobs shook her body. He wrapped his arms around her and they cried together and touched together and kissed and held each other. Away from everything and everyone. A family for a moment in time. A family forever. 

@today-in-fic 🖤🤍

[solomons-poison]

my mind is going in circles right now

okok whats ur opinion on ex hubby sol and mephisto

i always type sol btw because it’s awkward writing his full name (dk whyy)

with mephisto there would be angst potential, maybe he let his pride get in his way and ended up hurting you along with his pride, he doesnt rlly believe in ‘divorce’ so he’ll try to act like nothing is wrong but inside of him its killing him, hes in denial, disbelief of himself and the whole situation

with sol i cant rlly imagine divorcing him (maybe bc im biased with him) but for the sake of this, there would be so much angst potential like so much, the first human in a very very long time he had deeply loved until it was all shattered by his own hands

jskajskaakao

Ohhhhhhh yes ex-husband angst, it just hurts so good.... (Sol is under the cut, this just got very long lol; also unintentionally wrote this as reader suggesting the divorce, cause both guys seem like ride-or-die with their partners to me and I cant see them bringing it up without good cause...)

Divorcing Mephisto would absolutely be so dramatic and very painful. He's either going to explode on you, yelling and gesturing wildly and maybe even making baseless accusations against you (that he will 100% regret later and you'll never forget what he said). Or he'll suddenly get unnaturally quiet/ignore or avoid you. Even if you need to get documents signed or need to talk about how to break up assets, etc, he avoids you at all costs. The only thing that might turn him around is if people start rumors about you or your relationship (or lack thereof), because he still cares about you and doesn't want your name slandered like that by others.

He'll definitely be in denial for a while, and hurt you that way by saying things like "you don't mean it/want this", "just give it some time and you'll see you're wrong". He absolutely won't listen to you until you have to get a third party involved that he can't ignore, like Diavolo. It is a super messy affair...

There would be so much tension between you two, and if the divorce is for anything other than falling out of love, I can bet there'd be a lot of instances of angry sudden makeout sessions or breakup sex tbh. If you're not careful, you might get stuck in a cycle of hookups/dating again and then sudden breakup.

—

Now, divorcing Solomon... He definitely isn't explosive like Mephisto would be. I can see him being very quiet about the whole ordeal, but the pain and sadness is so evident in his eyes. His smiles afterwards are all strained and forced. Cause you know that you were the light in his life, the color in his world that he had initially lost after becoming immortal.

I think initially, you two would come to an understanding about the divorce, it would be a mutual agreement with little argument or fights. But he will ask for some time to think about things beforehand (meaning time for you to think about it too). And don't get him wrong, he is absolutely upset about the whole ordeal. But it's not your fault that you feel the way you do, you have a right to be happy and he wants to support that. But it's definitely painful to him.

I think even after becoming a full fledged sorcerer, you two would still have a kind of mentor-student relationship since he's so knowledgeable about spells and magic. So during/after the divorce, he may want to stop teaching you because being in close quarters with you is too much to stand. As much as he wants to be by your side, it's so bad for his own mental health and he'll put distance between you two.

—

Like I said, these are kind of focused on reader wanting the divorce, for whatever reasons, just cause I can't really see either Mephisto or Solomon ever wanting to divorce, they'd try everything to make things right again. But if you have thoughts about it going the other way, I'm very interested. Sorry for the word vomit, I've been really into the ex-husband angst vibe recently and it's so bad for me lol

[rust-is-a-car-disease]

Yo! A muslim here to tell you about Islam. :D And yes Boboiboy is muslim. Simple salam, alhamdulillah and Bismillah is enough to implide that. And celebration of Ramadhan and Aid.

Well first. Homo is not 'banned' but against the religion itself. It's a sin. Which the sinner of this sin is saw as lower than the animals itself. As it saw even animals who doesn't have brain didn't all that. Only people who have mental illness does that as normal human wouldn't.

More of this in story of Lut

With this it's can be pretty good angsty story (for those Boboiboy and Fang shipper)

Like Fang liking Boboiboy but Boboiboy would always choose Allah in anyway and even tho it's hurt Fang have to deal with it.

If want to make it more angsty make Boboiboy uncomfortable with Fang. Well doesn't really need him to fully hate Fang but some part of Boboiboy find Fang disgusting. Boboiboy is afraid by the sin. Which it right for him as muslim. And Fang still his friend...well before... As time go Boboiboy kinda driff himself away from Fang. He avoid Fang in many way and refuse to talk long with Fang....and then they never talk anymore. Boboiboy just move on on life. While Fang still kinda have feeling for him. But now? Do the Boboiboy he like still the same Boboiboy? No. It's not. Fang ruin his friendship with Boboiboy. Now they're nothing but stranger.

-🌟

Thx for the explanation! I only really hear of ppl who dont follow their own religion so its nice when actual religous stuff is cleared up.

Ooo! I was thinking more of a forbidden love idea. But it makes sense esp if we take into account his religious beliefs (which he was probably raised to stand by) and the time period (and probably location) it takes place in. Im referring to how the show was first released wayyy back when. And to my understanding malaysia isnt good to homo. (Most of the guys ik r already bad to women. I dont imagine something seen as sin would be accepted.)

The drifting apart makes more sense. I see boboiboy as someone who really cares abt his friends and while he himself finds it wrong or disgusting hed try not to drag his friends down because of it. Naturally he would avoid, conciously or not, someone he personally internally views as a sinner even if he tries not to hurt fang due to it. That naturally causes a rift between them and they drift apart and he naturally just moves on with his life. Im not experienced (and probably dont experience) romance the same way as most ppl so i dont really get how hurt fang would be or how it affects him but it makes sense that his feelings ruin a friendship with a religous boboiboy. I dont really know how closely boboiboy follows islam as i know people who is part of a religion and just doesnt follow it and that would effect how quickly he distances himself and stuff like that from fang. I dont think its really fangs fault bc ppl cant control emotions but i think it would definetely cause them to drift apart and boboiboy would naturally treat someone he thinks of as less close to him and a sinner differently. So even if romantic feelings eventually are no longer involved as time passes it still creates a rather large rift between them.

So in the end in this scenario they really do end up as mostly strangers or at most aquaintances you would nod at when you pass by but wont interact more. Afterall they still would regonise each other just not as friends.

[offmychest-official]

I dont know how to feel its all just. Painful? Unfair? Idk its stupid.

Me and my queerplatonic partner both have religious trauma (her, Christian. Mine, Buddhist). We are both spiritual in a way still. I'm able to tell the gods that i mean no disrespect but i dont want to be a part of the religion. And im angry that i cannot leave due to parents. I understand it isnt their fault, that my anger towards them is unfair. But i would prefer not to be forced into this. To be controlled, to speak vows i reject. I turned away and left with respect.

My partner... She one day had the urge to speak to god. Said to him she doesnt want to follow in anything taught to be christian. Doesn't want and will not to follow in it. But still wants him to watch over her still. She found comfort in it. In his watch and to converse with him

Its not my place. To feel unnerved, angry at that. Its her decision, her comfort. I kept it to myself. But it feels.... Bad to me. I have no other outlet and its hurting me

The closest i can equate it to is like ur friend starts being friends with a toxic ex that may have become better. But you cant let go of what that ex did.

And of course, she had a dream where she met that god and he hugs her. Said it will not be the last time they will speak to each other. She was eager to speak to him again

It just.... Doesn't feel right

Maybe im thinking. What if he whisks her away again. Starts praying and becoming religious. She just left the hell that is toxic '''christian''' church. I will not allow her to return to that cage

But i cant do anything. Curses of being long distance.

.

[onefallafternoon]

everything hurts kind of, and I don't know if this is a usual panic attack or if its a silent one or even that what I usually have is a panic attack cause I can never ask someone can I. I can't even properly find out if I'm making this up I can't even know if I have anxiety and or panic attacks or if I'm just doing to this to grab attention I don't even know if I am doing this to make myself seem like the special little snowflake I want to be what if I'm just fucking doing this bullshit to gaslit myself into thinking that if I have issues I can excuse myself being an asshole and hid from it. I hate that even while the fucking while I type this out I think to myself ' that can't be true haha I am not an asshole something must be wrong with my thoughts I'm not thinking clearly' I hate that I am hiding from everything and that I'm so used to it that I can't even FUCKING DISCERN THE TRUTH FROM THE LIES I hate that at first I started doing the stupid rant on tumblr posts to make myself feel like I am talking to someone and now its just in hope that one day my friends or someone finds this and takes pity on me and think 'oh the poor thing' or whatever I hate that I care enough to not just get my thoughts out but also put a stupid dramatic ending sort of thing to my post rants here so that won't look stupid at the end and that I care about appearances so much that I have somehow never talked to girls before and succeeded in talking to them like a normal person and I hate that I care about that shit so much that I couldn't even make myself talk to or introduce myself to the girl I think I have a crush on cause lets face it I really don't know here whether the crush started when I noticed how kind of pretty she was at like the first week of class or I heard one of the guys teasing her and mentioning that she has a crush on me or something. I hate that I am hopeful. I hate that I think they're talking about me. I hate that it isn't cleared up and when I asked one of the other guys he just laughed and said yes gave me hope and later denied and I hate that I can't even make myself ask the guy who sits next to her if its true. I hate that I spent a whole night thinking what we would do if we were a couple. I probably over fucking romanticized the idea of being a couple and being in love that I can't even separate the person from the delusions anymore and I hate that. I hate that I'm slowly descending into the 500 days of summer guy and that all I have to one up him is an inch in height and that I'm not confident or secure enough, or arrogant enough YET to find fault in others whether it's existent or not. I hate that I practice this one song in ukulele in hopes to sing it as a lullaby to my kid one day or something cause I FUCK OH FUCK I have romanticized that TOO. IM PROBABLY NEVER EVEN GONNA HAVE KIDS WITH THE LUCK I HAVE TALKING TO PEOPLE BUT FUCK CAN I DREAM LONG DISTANCE. BUT I CAN'T HOPE TO FUCKING MAKE A DREAM OF A CAREER? EVERYONE IS DOING THAT SHIT PROBABLY THE GIRL I AM CRUSHING ON TOO AND THE ENTRANCE IS A WEEK AWAY I COULD AT LEAST TRY LIKE MY DAD SAID BUT I CAN'T CAUSE I'M TOO BUSY MOPING THAT THE ONLY GIRL I PROBABLY MADE HAVE A CRUSH ON ME BY BEING A FAKE ASS PERSON WHO MAKES A SELF DEPRECATING OR DICK JOKE EVERY FIFTEEN SECONDS. I.DON'T.EVEN.KNOW.WHY.I'M DOING THAT STILL. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE THAT I HAVE A CRUSH NO NO YEAH I PROBABLY 'FELL IN LOVE' WITH THE GIRL WHO GAVE ME TEN SECONDS OF ATTENTION WHICH WAS UNASKED OR UNPURPOSEFULLY DONE LIKE I DO WITH EVERY GIRL WHO GIVES ME UNWARRANTED ATTENTION. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME AND THIS IS GONNA FUCKING SOUND SO EMO IN PROBABLY FIVE YEARS I AM GONNA BE FORCED TO LIVE and not even allowed to die. I wanna end this. lets face it theres no other way in my mind and I hope that it doesnt come to that i hope that i am not sounding like one of them dramatic ass motherfuckers but this just. fucking. frustrating. not understand why I do what I do and not understanding why i love the people i love or hate the people i hate. all people have is been nice to me.

they dont deserve this they really dont and here i fucking am thinking whether i am thinking even that cause i have been told that they have by people on multiple occasions or whatever the fuck i don't understand now. this is crazy as fuck. too crazy. too. goddamn. crazy. i didn't deserve this, or i probably fucking did, cause i cant tell if im the god fucking damn good guy or bad or moral grey or whatever the fuck.

[femmesandhoney]

nahida is that kind of annoying character the company will INSIST you pull if you want to go along with the kool kids. its very true hoyoverse has an obsession with the archons. they must've saw the overwhelming hate

like...you cannot. she picks up your items for you, marks enemies so perfectly they cant escape dendro reactions for minutes, kills enemies from distance, reads npcs' thoughts, goes with a garbage 3* weapon, doesnt need fancy artifacts...

it's unlikely there will be units that top her for a long time, too. zhongli is still the best at shielding, isn't he?

archons will always be a superior unit for their element + utility (usually). i don't fault genshin for making the literal gods some of the best choices for whatever they specialize in. it definitely felt tho they overcompensated with Nahida after seeing all the hate at her design. like her kits not even broken its just ridiculous lol. there can never be a better dendro than her. if i didn't already build and enjoy my dendro lumine, i would feel so compelled to pull her. like venti, zhongli, and raiden are all amazing, but you can get by just fine without them. nahida feels like she's the *only* dendro you have to have and any other five star or not will be abysmally weak in comparison. at least with like shielding especially theres many good choices even if zhongli is very good, but i can't see genshin releasing even good dendro after nahida. hope im wrong, but its like how can you compare?

[amnotaqueen]

They May Mean Well, But...

Members in the congregation can mean well. Some want to help, but don't know how to help. Some don't really want to help, especially depending on what someone needs help with.

Sometimes, I feel like, if I were a male I would stand a chance of getting more and better support from the elders. They could relate to me better if I were a male. There wouldn't be the factor of the male/female dynamic that calls into question whether or not any relationship might develop that is inappropriate. They think like males, of course, and are unable to think like a female to help me. They have wives and do so for their wives and daughters, but they are unwilling or uncomfortable to do so with me. Also, I am black. They are not (in this area). Another factor that distances them from me, and could even prejudice them against me to some degree.

So the situation looks like this to me: I'm married to a narcissist who is emotionally abusive, financially abusive, is a bully to myself and our child, the elders in the congregation minimize or flat out don't acknowledge any narcissistic abuse I and my son suffer, they opt to not take sides as if there can be no victim with which to side in a marriage because everything including fault and blame must be shared 50/50 in a marriage, they don't seem to want to take the time to get into the specifics of what actually is going on in the marriage, nor do they seem educated on what Narcissism is and how the victim of narcissistic abuse is affected. No one seems to believe me and treats my husband like any other beloved brother. If I'm asked how I'm doing, I never know if they really want to know, if I should tell them the truth, give details or not. My feeling is that it is all just formality and I should not answer as if they want a real answer. It makes it difficult for me to feel all that close to anyone.

Imagine a child (older or younger) telling its Mom (or any other beloved family member) that their dad was abusing (physical, emotional, or any other type) them in secret and the mom cuts the child off without hearing all the details and tells the child that he/she should forgive the father, that he is a good man ( even when the father has given no indication of wanting to stop abusing or no indication of being sorry), he is such a good provider, he works hard and is a good worker, so just deal with the abuse even though the child feels like the abuse is severely and negatively impacting his/her health. And when the abusive father is home the mother after being told of the abuse, acts no differently toward the father, still talks to him the same, interacts with him and smiles, kisses him, and socializes with him in the exact same manner as before being told of the abuse. The child then feels betrayed by the mom, diminished even though the mom said she loves the child. The child doesnt feel believed, loved, or supported. Now, the child doesnt even know how to act around the mom and wonders if she is really loved by her.

I have told the elders about the abuse. It's minimized and not viewed as serious or anything they can help with. I can't be believed or sided with. Sisters dont want to help in this type of situation. If all I want is to work in the ministry with them, and I always seemed happy, never spoke of my narcissistic abuse, was able to pretend I was fine when I'm not, then everything would be ok as far as relating with other sisters.

So instead of getting compassion, empathy, understanding long term support, I'm getting asked things like:

"What do you do all day?" Because I'm not working. Therefore, I should be in the ministry more. They have asked this repeatedly. A sister told me, "I used to work two jobs AND I pioneered(full time minister). " Recently a brother said to me, "You must have a lot of free time." He told me that it must be nice not to have to work. These brothers and sisters don't take into account that I'm married to and living with a narcissist, for TEN years. They don't take into account that my husband does not want to spend a dime on me, my husband is selfish and will create more work for me to do just to have what he wants, does not love me, is cruel to me, neglects me, does not support me, does not take interest in me, but only insults and complains and makes demands for all 10 years of our marriage. They don't take into account that I have a special needs child with behaviors and issues that are stressful and exhausting. Whereas these other sisters' husband's love them, support them, help them. Their husbands dont have them riding cars with bald tires. Their husbands dont mess up the kitchen at night after they have finished cleaning the kitchen causing them to clean the kitchen twice before going to bed. Their husbands help cook and clean. Their husbands give affection and talk to them. Their husbands dont abuse their children verbally and physically. They have a good support system and friends because they are not depressed and dont have ptsd from chronic abuse. Their children have no or mild issues if any. It doesnt take their children one hour to eat a meal. They don't have to redirect their children every 20 seconds so they can make it to school or the meetings on time. They can go places with their children without fear of having to prevent a meltdown or get their child out of a meltdown that was not prevented. My situation has taken a toll on my mental, physical, emotional health. My energy is low and stress is high. I'm trying to keep my brain working. Sometimes people think you can't have health problems unless you are old. I'll be honest, it is hurtful to me when people are trying to low-key shame me into not doing more in the ministry because they think I should be able to do more when they don't know (don't want to know) what I'm dealing with. I don't hear, 'I'm so sorry you are dealing with what you are dealing with...''It must be so difficult...' I don't ever hear words in my defense or in support of me. They don't want to talk about the big issue of narcissistic abuse. They want to talk about everything else. They will talk about my son and his issues. They will talk about me being in the ministry more. They don't know the effort it takes me to just get to the meetings and try to participate. But if I talk about how I'm treated at home, how my husband is really, then I'm ghosted.

[navire190413]

spent pretty much the entire weekend with x-chan again. we went out to eat cheap yakiniku on friday night then went to our usual bar. he invited me to stay the night and play video games so i did. we didnt shower together or kiss or cuddle or anything. it was just like we were friends hanging out. hahah but oh, there's a reason for that. we got in a massive argument the night before and earlier that day.

i messaged him in japanese asking why hes so nice and loving towards me when we're together, but so cold and doesnt want to message me or call me a lot of the time when we're not together. and his response was "theres a lot of distance between our hearts. its not like we're particularly close right now", and my response was "but you can still kiss me?", and I guess the way i said it in japanese had the nuance that i was complaining about him kissing me, because thats definitely how he took it. so all day long on friday he was saying he never wants to kiss someone who complains about being kissed again, that im ungrateful, etc. i was trying to explain myself about what i actually meant and it was just my shitty japanese that started a misunderstanding. he wouldnt really listen to me and just got upset that i was trying to defend myself instead of apologizing. so i lowered my head and fucking said sorry. and then invited him to go to yakiniku with me that night.

when we met up, everything was fine. we walked hand-in-hand to the restaurant and continued on like normal. what is it about us where its so much fun when we're together but we just bicker if we spend any time apart.

we went to the bar together afterwards and everything was fine.

the next day, we just watched tv together in bed and chilled around. he kept telling me how beautiful i am and what not, but idk. we had a date-night planned later that night in ikebukuro, so we got ready together and went. we went to an 青森県直送居酒屋. The food wasn't that good, and the atmosphere was okay but we felt like we couldnt relax at all. so we ended our reservation early and went nextdoor to one of our favourite izakayas we always go to. we ate the usual ホッケand drank and smoked a lot. i confirmed with him he isnt currently talking to any other girls so that relaxed me a teeny tiny bit. i have basically cut out every man in my life in an effort to get him back and not make him jealous.

afterwards we went to our usual bar again. everything was fine for the first hour but then i got drunk and asked for a kiss and it started a whole bickering match again. blah blah blah he only kisses people he has feelings for and the fact i would even question his motives was super insulting to him. he likes me but isnt in love with love me so he's trying to figure out if he can love me again, etc etc etc. we were bickering so much that we decided to do it in english because everyone around us (all of my fucking bar friends), were all giving us weird looks and laughing at us and we didnt want them to understand what we were saying anymore. half of them hate x-chan and think i should drop him immediately, the other half really like him as a person but think we treat eachother like shit, basically.

we eventually worked everything out. the kind of things im allowed to ask him about, and what im not allowed to ask him about. some things just make him really stressed out; like asking about his motives (he's a straight to the point guy and has never lied to me almost to a fault), but me asking him things like if he's seeing other girls, or like "what" are we, is totally fine. its annoying we always bicker, but afterwards we just sat and drank in silence for like 5 minutes before he muttered out a sorry. he even messaged me after he got home and told me he was glad we talked about it. i blacked out after so i dont remember if we kissed when we said good bye like we usually do. idk if we will ever kiss again at this point hahaha im trying so hard to get back together and do the right things but i somehow always fuck up. through stupid mistakes like using japanese that gets misinterpreted.

when i messaged him sunday morning to say good morning he told me he wanted to call me that night. okay whatever. he called around 7pm and we chatted about our days a bit. i was outside smoking and drinking a lemon sour when he called and half-way through one of my share-mates came out to also smoke, so i said bye and hung-up so i wouldnt be rude to my share-mate in a shared space.

i have plans to go to our usual izakaya again on wednesday night, then im taking him on another date on friday to a traditional japanese food restaurant. sigh.

i just lied around most of the day and then did laundry, which i didnt even get half-way through because my korean friend invited me to go get yakiniku with her last minute. i didnt even get to finish doing my nails. my nails are always super long, but now they're super short so i can type insanely fast with minimal mistakes. wooooo. but i also feel like i have no value as a human when my nails aren't done so i'll do them tonight.

anyways, went to yakiniku with y-chan at like 9pm. it was fun. we did all you can eat and drink. she's fluent in english, but wants to practice japanese more so we just chatted in japanese. we went to my usual bar after yakiniku and i got a surprising number of hugs from people? for some reason everyone was really excited to see me last night. it felt good but also. i already saw everyone this weekend on friday and saturday hahaha. i had to leave to catch the last train and like 3 separate people we like "nooooooooo!!!" haha.

i was 40 minutes late to work today because the 山手線 got delayed like 3 separate times due to 安全確認　after 緊急停止. i made the mistake of getting off the train after it was delayed for 15 minutes and stuck at 新宿駅。i thought if i ran to the 埼京線 i'd be able to get on and ride it until　渋谷 and get to work on time, but the 埼京線 platform was so packed with people with the same idea. there were people spilling down the stairs and into the main walkways of shinjuku station. no such luck riding that train, so i ran back up to the 山手線 and just waited in the significantly smaller crowd compared to the saikyo line. finally got squeezed into a train and one stop later another 緊急停止。i just gave up at that point hahaha. luckily my boss was understanding and actually read on twitter about it before i even messaged him.

[dexholderr]

rotating tyde n vin in my brain (put under a readmore cause i ended up ramblin for longer than i expected lmao):

they are a Mess right after the fight against octavio. times of stress n such can bring people together like nothin else, but after? once its all over and the dust settles?

workin together as agent 4 n 5 was a good way to get them talkin again, but even then really it wasnt great. vin did Not want tyde to be there, didnt want to risk him gettin hurt, but tyde felt the exact same toward them. not to mention that tyde followed vin down the grate without them knowin, and vins own refusal to say a word about bein an agent in the first place. it led to a lot of tension between them, especially when it was time to switch between kettles. things smoothed out a little near the end, but just barely, and the final fight did Not help.

and after? they just. didnt talk about it. vin was physically hurt and needed to heal, and tyde felt like the distance was coming back all over again. its no ones fault, genuinely (though they both blame themselves, at least a little, once they stop to think about it), but neither of them can help feeling like things wouldve been so much Easier if the other just. Said somethin, let the other in and told them what was goin on.

thats what leads tyde to put on the hypnoshades, in the end. hes hurtin, and deep down, feelin abandoned. and he doesnt Understand. why couldnt vin have just Told him about bein an agent, explained that thats why they were always so busy, and so so tired in the rare moments they werent? was it all really That Bad? and in a desperate moment of pain and impulse, he puts on the shades.

and oh boy, does it not go well. in fact, it ends up goin even worse than when it was callie wearin the shades. not only was it someone that vin didnt know yet that time, but she wasnt actually part of the fight. but tyde? thats vins younger brother, and he has a splatling and knows how to use it. to say that vin feels kinda betrayed would be an understatement.

tyde saw what happened to vin last time someone wore those shades, and yet he goes and puts them on anyway? and for What? to show that hes Lonely? that hes Sad? dont misunderstand, vin cares about tydes feelings, and would drop everythin to help him, but when he pulls somethin like This? theyre furious, and nothin is resolved. all that happens is vin gets thrown around by octavio again, this time with a splatling lasering them the whole time

vins anger is quiet at first, cold. they refuse to say a word until tyde does. but tydes first words are an accusation of vin not caring about him, about anyone, and they arent going to take that laying down. eventually, both are shouting, screaming words that neither mean. eventually, hands fly and callie n marie have to step in to hold them back.

eventually, vin leaves tentakeel outpost, pausing for just a second when tyde calls for them, but not looking back before they goin through the grate to go back to the city.

on their way home, though, they stop at crusty seans to get somethin to eat, somethin familiar and comforting. a moment of hesitation, and they order tydes favorite as well, leaving it in front of his door as they pass to get to their own down the hall.

things go quiet between them for a long time, vin avoids goin to the makomart tyde works at, tyde avoids goin to the cafe vin works at. they dont talk, and it hurts for both of them. callie n marie try to help, not wanting what happened to them to happen to the siblings, but it doesnt work.

but then kite and the captain come back with someone new, an octoling thats named himself cirrus. after a few more weeks, cirrus and tyde become roommates, and its good for them, though cirrus can tell that tyde is hurting

he decides to step in, refuses to see his friends hurting if he can do something to help. its just small things, really. asking them both to hang out without the other knowing, messing with the patrol schedule so theyre scheduled for the same days (with the captains permission), etc. just trying to get them to be around each other

and eventually, it starts to work. its slow, so very slow, but they start talking again. asking about each others days, asking how works been, sharing funny stories of stuff thats happened. its slow, but its Good. and eventually they sit down and Talk. really Talk, about everything. the hurt, the pain, the distance, the silence, all of it. and they slowly make amends.

and slowly, they become siblings again. they heal, and they take care to keep up with each other, to not let the distance comeback again. and when, years later, vin asks if tyde would be ok with them goin to splatville? they talk about it, and end up callin every few days after vin goes. and when the train line gets fixed, they see each other every weekend.

things are good

[mugentakeda]

YESSSSS and that being something that effected his relationship w lu ten and then later on effected his relationship w zuko because iroh DIDNT LEARN FROM IT....... its very splendid if you ask me....

and on top of iroh just being passive and ignorant id bet you anything that there are things in the palace that you just. arent supposed to talk about or say. and i feel like lu ten tries to heavily imply to his dad to work around that unspoke rule but nothing works so eventually he gets fed up with iroh and just says it outright (what he suspects about ozai) and then he gets slapped in the face with irohs passiveness. he knows as long as his dad is around ozai probably wont risk putting his hands on him, but ozai is probably waiting for lu ten to make an ass of himself and in that grant ozai the right to discipline or challenge him because lu ten disrespected his authority as ursas husband and the kids' father AND as lu tens elder- and ozai wouldnt get jumped on by azulon or iroh for it because it would be lu tens own fault (and because lu ten is an adult).

and ozai is a pretty smart guy so it doesnt take long for him to realize lu tens thought process, and the fact that the problem is distancing lu ten from his father. in my dai li au, lu tens "death" was a set up orchestrated by ozai. so at this point this is probably where that plan starts taking form. the easiest way to kill prey is to separate it from its pack, and all lu ten has is iroh.

(and its a pretty typical thing for abusive manipulators to use isolation as a tactic, isnt it? ozai is just opportunistic. iroh basically is handing him the throne in his ignorance and passiveness. if he doesnt want to heed the warnings his son is basically screaming in his face then thats his own fault)

the only order between zuko azula and lu ten that matters is lu ten being the primary shield from ozai fuckery and zuko being the secondary shield from ozai fuckery. but lu ten was a primary shield and the strongest because he was an adult himself and he wasnt ozais child so ozai had no right to put his hands on lu ten without having to answer to iroh and then zuko is the secondary shield because he was the main target of all of ozais ire until he freed himself from it. and then with them both gone its just azula alone

[vminvisiblestring]

How Robert Berens Made Destiel Canon

or The Beautifully Tragic Road to Destiel

in honor of their one month anniversary, i want to talk about robert berens and how he made it his mission to make destiel canon and the care he took approaching their relationship...

i dont know if this has been pointed out before, but i was looking at the episodes bobo berens wrote when i realized something: he wrote all the significant destiel episodes in s15. i think that means he probably planned to make destiel canon long before s15 started:

he hid a love story inside the monster story. a love story told in five parts:

• initiating event

• rising action

• climax (first twist)

• falling action

• second twist (no resolution)

14x18: absence - “initiating event”

the initiating event introduces the conflict and sets events into motion in a story.

in absence, cas reveals to dean that jack might not have a soul and therefore might not know that hurting his mother was wrong. this angers dean and results in dean telling cas “youre dead to me”. this initiates a chain of events that lead their relationship to experience a tear (or rupture).

15x03: the rupture - “rising action”

the rising action is the result of a character trying to (in this case) solve a problem but a force is at conflict with the character. for every step taken, there is either a successful or failed outcome; this pattern continues all the way to the climax.

complications in dean and cas’s relationship continue to widen the distance between them into the start of season 15 with the deaths of rowena and belphagor (for which dean blames cas) culminating in the infamous “breakup” scene. cas said there was nothing left for him anymore and leaves dean.

15x08: our father who arent in heaven - “rising action”

bobo didnt write this episode but its important to the path because rowena tells dean and cas to fix their relationship in the same episode that michael sends them to purgatory (aka the place dean realized he was in love with cas all those years ago and where they fixed their relationship the first time)

15x09: the trap - ‘climax & first twist”

the climax is the most emotional part of the story and is reached when the character takes the final step to resolve their problem. this is also where the turning point of the story begins and descends to the falling action (and if there is a plot twist, it happens here).

the first twist: dean confesses first. this scene is deans confession disguised as an apology. he might lose cas and needed him to know hes sorry. the prayer scene is so important because, if we read the scene, this is in fact, an apology, but its so much more than that. dean responds to cas’s “i left but you didnt stop me” with “i should have stopped you”. this scene showed just how much dean has grown, how much he’s trying and how much he wants to be free of the anger he feels because he realized it was what separated him from the man he loves on multiple occasions. this is deans way of saying “im sorry. i didnt mean anything i said. you are the most important person in my life and i let you leave. i shouldnt have let you leave. thats my fault. im trying to get better. please tell me you’re gonna be okay. tell me this isnt the last time i’ll ever see you. please. i love you”.

dean and cas reunite near the rift but dean doesnt want to leave before telling cas something. we know it cant be the prayer because its obvious cas heard that; this is something else, but cas stops him. this scene is them making amends with each other the best way they know how: a silent knowing. the conflict has finally been resolved.

15x12: galaxy brain - “falling action”

the falling action consists of the after-effects of the climax and every event from here onward should lead to a logical conclusion.

dean and cas’s relationship is better, they seem at peace. the silent knowing is definitely there, and they both seem comfortable the way they left things. the way things are going, they’ll likely have as much a “happy” ending as a fallen angel and a hunter can have without talking about this silent knowing. we cant forget about the looming empty deal, but knowing cas will never be truly happy, it seems like dean and cas are going to be friends for a long time...

15x18: despair - “second twist”

after the falling action comes the resolution. sometimes in film and television, a surprise second twist will occur after the climax and toss the characters into another fight. the second twist is resolved quicker than the first and leads to a speedy resolution.

the second twist here, however, replaces the resolution because the story of destiel sadly and infuriatingly, never got its resolution.

i feel like bobo was told cas was going to get killed off and thats why he knew there was no way the network would allow dean to reciprocate so he did the best he could to work around the homophobia and make destiel canon as much as possible for us.

this is the most “resolution” we were given by a show we spent years watching and loving. we rooted for the characters, we fought as much for their happiness as they did themselves. and it ended up stabbing jensen, misha, bobo, other cast members, some writers and the fans in the back.

deans face here is all i have left to hold on to and thats not fair. and its not fair that after all these years this is what they did to one of the most complex love stories ever told. not only that, but dean and cas were also some of the complex characters ever put to screen. this is not a good ending for them and it never will be. not until they both get the endings they deserve, as individuals and as one. and im sorry for the pain all this mess has caused and would like nothing more than to squeeze everyone really tight and tell you it’ll be okay.

[shoichee]

part 4: hcs dedicated to reactions: seirin (their precious lil manager going out with that scissor-wielding emperor bastard!?) and rakuzan (their captain was in love with that girl who cussed at him near the vending machine?!? ITS SO FUNNY) ++ angst where akashi gets jealous of readers teammates (IZUKI kuroko kagami furi... but mostly izuki bc point guards with eye powers) because he still feels bad about what happened and thinks he doesnt deserve her -- teiko anon

OUR LEGENDARY TEIKO ANON HAS SPOKEN OF AN EPILOGUE, alright y’all the finale FINALE 🧘🏻‍♀️ OKAY, i don’t think I hammered too hard on the angst, but enjoy the fluff and subtle crack😌

OOH, looks like another anon wants a pt. 4! :0 Since it is primarily the Teiko anon’s request, I will be prioritizing the first request, but I will combine a few aspects of this request to make a fuller headcanon epilogue! Hope everyone enjoys this! part 1 here // part 2 here // part 3 here

Akashi x Reader

Part 4: Epilogue

[Teiko!manager Headcanons]

in the aftermath of the Winter Cup, your relationship with Akashi has certainly gotten much better, and dare you say, more intimate and romantic; though you were still healing a bit from the emotional scars from Teiko, they seemed to be going away faster than you realized, especially when everyone gathers for Kuroko’s birthday party

you were with Seirin, helping with the decorations and setting up the plates before Kuroko comes in the evening, but what no one expected was for him to bring in the GoMs

YOU’RE SHOOK AND YOU’RE BASHFUL SEEING AKASHI IN HIS WINTER ATTIRE, you’re getting MAD butterflies, but no one seems to notice because everyone’s attention is on the GoMs and Kuroko

of course Akashi was scanning the room for you first, and you immediately look away from his affectionate stare because you were still not used to the old Akashi, let alone his sweeter side for only you

Izuki notices how quiet you got and nudged your ribs with his elbow before telling a stupid pun… the thing is, you were one of the few people who genuinely found his jokes funny LOL

Akashi widens his eyes, staring at you laughing so unabashedly, and he feels really, really bad that he never got that level of a reaction from you whenever you were with him even despite knowing you for longer

now as the party goes on, Akashi is seeing your dynamics with Seirin for the first time and he’s just really grateful that you found an amazing support group during your low times; he’s not particularly someone to get jealous, but he’s getting a BAD case of FOMO because he’s thinking of all the “what-if’s” and all the times he could’ve made you happy and stress-free

“Akashi-kun?”

“Ah… yes?” Akashi snaps out of his daze to see a mild smirk coming from Kuroko on his right side, and Kuroko was about to ask a question about who he was looking at before a shout of “Watch out!” and a ceramic plate came FLYING across the table to hit the Rakuzan captain square on his face

CUE SCREAMS OF PANIC AS MOMOI PUNCHES AOMINE ON THE HEAD AND RIKO JUMPS TO STRANGLE KAGAMI, AND YOU LITERALLY ZOOMED TO HIS SIDE TO CHECK ON ANY INJURIES

see, he could’ve easily dodged it, and he supposed that it’s his fault for not paying attention and dodging on time

thankfully, the plate didn’t break because Kuroko caught the plate before it reached the floor and placed it back on the table

Akashi still has a bruise or two on his face though… and ngl, everyone gulped when they saw him checking out the injuries with a handheld mirror, ready to get their ankles broken

you were so worried over his safety, he finds it really endearing… but he wants to elicit an expression other than looks of worry or tears or anger (flashback to when you cussed him out)

“Wait, but (y/n)...” Koganei said. “Since when were you so close to Akashi that you didn’t hesitate to touch his face?”

a few moments of silence for everyone to register his words

“EHHHH?????!!!!”

everyone is throwing QUESTION after QUESTION at the two of you, and Akashi just has a neutral face with his mouth parted while you were so embarrassed LMAO

Kise being a real best friend, tells them:

“Alright, alright, everyone! Let’s not forget about the birthday boy! Kurokocchi should be the center of our attention today!”

“Kise, that’s…”

“Anywho! Let’s light up the cake and find those party poppers…”

after the party though, when you all return to school, Seirin was READY to jump on you for interrogation, and you do reluctantly tell them that you and Akashi are a tentative couple

Riko: “SERIOUSLY? I mean… that’s kinda cute though…”

Hyuuga: “I mean… yeah, as long as you’re happy, it’s none of my business.”

Teppei: “I hope he treats you well, (y/n)-san.” and of course he gives you his signature head pats

Furihata, Tsuchida, Kawahara: “??????????????????? But why?”

Koganei: “Huh, guess that explains a lot.”

Kagami: “???????????? pt. 2 LMAO” and also “What do you even see in him?” in genuine curiosity

Izuki: “ I guess you two dove into this relationship without hesitation, eh? Get it, get it? Because doves are a symbol of lo—”

“Izuki, shut the fuck up.”

“It means that you love (Ai)kashi—” [Ai means love]

“IZUKI.”

Kuroko simply pretends that this is the first time he’s heard of you dating Akashi, and he gives you his heartfelt congratulations, and as long as Kuroko approves of it, you feel like you’re on the right track (he’s such a good judge of character!)

you and Akashi actually live VERY far apart, considering that your schools are equally just as far in distance, but that being said, for our rich boy Akashi, distance isn’t much of a problem when he can easily find ways to come visit any time

he can also pay for your transportation to visit Rakuzan if you ever felt like visiting him too (although, you insist to pay for your own things, but he’s not having it because he says it’s a treat for him to see you too)

whenever Akashi stops by the Seirin campus to visit, he’s just kind of awkward standing there like the prince that he is, waiting for the perfect opportunity to walk in, but every time, he’d ALWAYS notice how you’re so happy being with everyone here, especially with Izuki, and his guilt just comes back full force again

he wonders if this was right of him to date you when there’s so much people who can easily do a better job in getting you to smile and be completely yourself, especially since he’s been the source of your anguish for all these months (maybe even a year or two if he was counting the duration of your entire crush on him that you assumed to be unrequited)

“Seijurō!” your voice rang out, beckoning him to walk towards you and the group

all of the Seirin teammates are so wary of him, and are all hyper aware of his movements LOL, and Kuroko is just like “hi, you’re back” very casually

Kagami uses this as a chance to challenge a one-on-one on Akashi

Kagami gets destroyed in a few minutes flat

the whole time you’re just watching Akashi with heart eyes, unbeknownst to him while he was focused on Kagami

after the interrogation and Akashi passing the “first stage” of acceptance, you and him find time to have a cute date at a local shopping district to walk around and sightsee

Akashi finds it fun, he really did, but there’s a part of him that thinks you’d have more fun with people who know you better… a.k.a. Izuki, or legit any other Seirin member

he’s visibly distracted by his own thoughts, and you wave a hand to his face, asking if this was too boring for him

“No, no, of course I’m enjoying this with you,” he muses, putting a gentle kiss to your temple. “Shall we get moving?”

“Something’s bothering you isn’t it.”

“No,” he chuckles, giving a gentle smile, but you only frown at him… once again he sees that you weren’t smiling at him

“I’m serious Sei, I want to get to know the real you,” you softly chastise, pinching his cheek. “So I also want you to speak your mind around me.”

“Oh ho… I see that your boldness is still very present here,” he says in referring to your touch.

“Oh my god, can you drop it already? That’s so embarrassing—I cussed you out one time… hey don’t change the subject!”

“Hmm…” he hums for a bit before he comes clean. “I’m afraid that I might not be the right person to be worthy by your side after hurting you for so long.”

“... What makes you think that?” He hesitates, for the first time, not being so sure of himself and his emotions; he immediately thinks of Izuki and your good chemistry with him but dismisses the thought

“... I just do not think I’m capable enough to make you happy.”

“But you are. I’m very giddy to be with you right now.”

“Even happier than when you are with… your teammates?”

“Huh?”

“I apologize,” he hurriedly says. “They are your friends. I was out of line to question them.”

“No, no, it’s okay. Talk it out to me.” He’s uncharacteristically quiet as you both continue to walk and browse through the shops, and you carefully watch Akashi while he’s examining a few souvenirs on the display, patient for him to continue talking

“... the point guard.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Seirin’s point guard.”

“Izuki-kun? What about him?”

“While I’m aware that you only spend your time with him as a good friend… I want to spend just as much of a koala-ty time with you whenever we have the chance.”

he... says this with the straightest face, and you’re utterly confused before you saw some animal plushies on the store window, and the the koala plush, and then the cogs started turning in your head

“... Did you just say a pun?”

“Was it not sufficient?”

a few moments of silence pass and Akashi thinks he did something wrong because he wanted to make you smile (HELP poor captain), before you break into hysterics

between your fits of broken laughs and wheezes, you managed to ask if he was jealous of Izuki, to which he wholeheartedly kept denying until you wouldn’t stop being persistent

you reassure him over and over that he doesn’t need to act like Izuki to make you happy, but it was a pleasant surprise to see Akashi crack a “joke” nonetheless

he’s a bit new to the concept of dating and is still quite unsure of how to navigate this PLEASE GIVE HIM TIME

the date that day was a success (some of the Seirin teammates TOTALLY weren’t spying on you mid-date or anything…)

while Seirin is okay with you dating, visiting Rakuzan ALONE with the scary-ass captain and his “CROONIES” (hint: the rest of the team LMAOO) IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY

RIKO AND HYUUGA are just like:

“What’s wrong with him coming here to visit you? Why do you gotta do the effort to visit him?”

“Uh… because I want to…”

“Yes, but who would you call to help over if something wrong happens? You’d be too far!”

“Uh, Akashi can help me if something happens.”

“With what, his scissors?” Kagami gives a deadpan look, and everyone turns to look at him in utter confusion LMAOOO like what does this redhead mean by SCISSORS???

Kuroko immediately jabs Kagami’s sides to silence him and smoothly changes the conversation before anyone asks any more questions about the “scissors” and potentially make them more reluctant to let you go

oh Kuroko, being the mediator and negotiator as always, trying to set some safety protocols for you to follow before everyone finally agrees to let you go see the infamous team alone

you know, Teppei is honestly just like, “Just go! Don’t worry about our (y/n) too much!”

Furihata is so concerned for your safety for valid reasons, but you reassure him that you won’t “die from the trip,” and no, this wouldn’t “be the last time” they’d see you before you leave

so when you stopped by Rakuzan’s gym after school after looking at the online maps, Hayama lets out a screech of terror before he starts pointing at you and calling you the “crazy ass chick” who tried to have a first-row seat ticket to death LOL

Hayama’s commotion brought everyone else’s attention to you, and Akashi was very surprised to see you all the way here

but he’s just standing at the back to watch how his teammates are reacting to you

Reo is the guy who would welcome you very warmly and would introduce you to the other team members who aren’t the starters, and he would actually ask if you were okay from last time

Nebuya is very laid back and throws a few muscle jokes much to Reo’s dismay, and he makes a comment about not you possibly not eating enough because at the time, he saw you almost tripping up your feet after you cussed out Akashi… he offers you his extra bowls if you ever feel hungry VERY SWEET GUY

Mayuzumi thinks you have balls, like who the fuck would come out alive after cussing out his captain but then COME BACK to said school of the captain… like why would you willingly walk back into the lion’s den??? so he thinks you’re dumb, but he has a shred of respect for you

Akashi is so amused at the spectacle and finally walks over to you after you noticed him

and he gives you an embrace and a chaste forehead kiss, and the entire gym goes silent

“Sei! I wanted to drop by as a surprise! Did you expect me?”

“Hm, I may have expected you to come sooner or later, but definitely not this quickly. Were transportation fees too much of a hassle?”

“Nope! I got everything covered! Do you want me to give you any chiropractic massages if you and your teammates need it?”

“You don’t need to do that, (y/n). You came here as a guest, not as a manager.”

“But…”

“Shhh, as soon as practice is done, I’ll take you anywhere you want in Kyotō. How does that sound?”

“Er… captain?” Reo holds up a hesitant finger to interrupt the two of you, while everyone else looks horrified at the sight of their captain looking serene

“Get a room, will you?” Mayuzumi only tuts in irritation while turning away to grab a nearby water bottle to down in one go

Nebuya merely stares in astonishment at the two of you, and his mind is thinking how the hell did you reel in this guy?

nah man, Hayama is GONE at this point: his brain has stopped functioning a while ago, and he’s standing there as stiff as a statue, scratching his head like a lost monkey // like he’s thinking how the fuck did this shit add up?? in his mind, he’s taking 2 plus 2 but it somehow ends up 94… that’s how he’s processing what he’s witnessing

the rest of the benchers and lower-string players are confused? who ARE you anyways?? Akashi?? dating??? that’s Rakuzan gossip of the century

TLDR; your first trip to Rakuzan may be awkward because the two of you stick out like a sore thumb, but eventually after multiple trips, the team slowly begins to consider you as one of their own

as per Akashi’s “suggestion” (hint: not a suggestion, but a strong recommendation), you were to be retreated with respect and kindness

why? Because Akashi never wants a repeat of the situation at Teiko ever again :(

as long as he is captain, and as long as he has the power and authority, he will do everything he can to make you happy and comfortable

don’t worry though, the Rakuzan starters are more than willing to punt any kid who talks shit about you

surprisingly, once Hayama comes around and accepts the fact that you were dating the captain, he’d be the most adamant and vocal protector, and he’s the one who shares the “inside tips and tricks” about the captain EEEE it’s so wholesome !!

the Rakuzan team is your certified bodyguard group, no debate

Reo might be the nosy mom who asks about who confessed first and the like…

the END, and I DO MEAN THE END THIS TIME

[maschotch]

i just know that when strauss was going "she died quickly btw" those other two people in the room with them were like "girl omfg" like don't get me wrong i know what she was trying to do but the first time i watched that episode my mouth was just hanging open

i find strauss FASCINATING i think its so interesting that she doesnt know how to be gentle about this even tho she wants to. like.. she’s trying so hard but she just… doesnt know what to do? i mean she’s lookin at a guy who she saw as a threat, as a rival, and she’s realizing… he’s really not at all like what she thought.

essentially from the beginning of us seeing strauss as a sort of antagonist, hotch has been so staunchly defensive of his team—his family. he’s willing to sacrifice his career to protect gideon, he can list the strengths and weaknesses and emotional struggles of each member of his team and insists that he just wants to stay w them. and its as if… she didnt believe him?

i dont necessarily fault her for assuming he’s trying to climb the ladder: this is a man who’s worked his way to being incredibly successful—practically renowned—in two separate careers. he has drive, he has ambition, he has his eyes set on higher places. intimidated or threatened arent really the right words… but she’s being practical by assuming he’ll continue to push higher

theyre in such similar situations as well. both of them have become distanced from their families: estranged from spouses and rarely seen by their children. they sacrificed their families for their careers, strauss just assumed that he had given up hope of those intimate family connections.

i dont think she understood until each team member sat in front of her—some anxious, some hostle—and defended him with a fierce loyalty that only comes from love: no matter the state of his home life, no matter the hours clocked in, he’s still a family man at heart. he inspires that in others. and not being able to protect his family… nothing is more devastating.

i think she identifies w him in a way, which is part of why she found it so frustrating to deal w him. so his loss hits harder than maybe it otherwise would. but at the same time she misunderstood him. and now she sees him, beaten, broken, and overwhelmed by grief, and she feels this gnawing guilt in the pit of her stomach thinking of how long she doubted him

[nicegaai]

ok here is my vision.

nationverse, recently established but secret norice + past/casual sunor + im a whoreway truther

sweden invited the nordics over for the weekend and when he does this often everyone has something else going on (except for norway). this time iceland also came, which is surprising bc usually he doesn't want to hang out with his old men (but he wants the excuse to see norway). so its three of them in like..... a little lake house

while sweden is out picking up food or sm, nor n ice try to get in a quickie. theyre trying to be subtle yk but they haven't seen each other in a bit. and sweden comes back early and catches them and is like. he walks away immediately. turns right back around in 2 seconds and leaves and doesnt say a thing

now keep in mind these are the three least able to communicate guys i know. they will not talk anything out if it kills them. den and fin are somewhat better at this but these three are the worst.

norway doesnt care about making others uncomfortable or being caught or even that sweden is twitchy and keeping more distance than usual and wont look at him. hes gonna act normal but also like lol ooo hes soo scared lmao

iceland is sooo fucked up over this tho. oh my god sweden hates him now and everyone's gonna know his embarrassing secret and the awkward atmosphere is unbearable

hes like svi are you mad at meee.. and swe is like No. 👍 and hes like ok..... aheemheem... (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

anyways the next day iceland is like DO NOT get near me norway this is YOUURRRR FAULT (it isnt) and nor is like yeah ok whatever. and ice is like I NEED TO BE ALONE ....... and think my thoughts about how my life is so over ... and nor is like mkay ill bring you food later (hes not leaving early bcz he and norway carpooled there. hes doomed)

so nor is hanging out with sweden and its onesidedly awkward. theyre not gonna talk deeply about the whole thing but sweden will ask some questions like how long, why, what the fuck are u doing. and nor is like not that long, just cuz, whatever i want.

speaking of whatever he wants, sweden does look pretty good rn and hes still pent up from getting interrupted yesterday. this and that happens. no ones complaining, kissing is easier than talking.

end of the day they are GOING to WATCH A MOVIE TOGETHER. YES ALL OF THEM, iceland get the fuck out of your room. we are going to have a nice amicable end to this stupid awkward trip.

iceland is way to one end of the sofa and sweden is on the other. they're both stiff (NOT sexually). norway comes over last and sits between them w a bowl of popcorn. theres soda and string lighting and a big bowl of candy. they (sweden n norway) r going all out to make up for how shitty the last couple days were. theyre going home tomorrow morning on a good note, right? swedens not going to tell anyone what he saw and no one is mad and feel free to come back next time etc.

this is getting way too long oh my god. ok so norway lures them in to a threeway and its very sweet and sweice make out for nor to watch and its great. peace and love and stuff. send post

SuNorIce ...............................................