#its not abt being triggered. i write triggering content myself. its abt not wanting actual freaks to have a no questions asked go ahead

[kimtaegis]

WOMAN HIIII!!!!💖💖HOW IS MY ANGEL DOINGG??? babi i love youuuu<333 sooo i wanted to let uk that im doing find and i wanted to check in on u too!! anywasyysysysy i saw a couple of posts abt u being overwhelmed and im aware of u feeling this way, u do quite sometimes and just like the prev times, firstly i wanna say that i understand. and i feel the same way most of the time. uk when i had just become an army i spent a lot of time being an army w/o any social media and i still like the vibes of that time than my time spent on tumblr/exploring twt. anyways, i just wanna say that its okay and u should give yourself a break. pls take care of yoself. watch run btw or wtw and dont follow the updates. will 100% give u peace. like, trust me on this one.

secondly, abt u feeling,,,,,, insignificant. woman. w all due respect, shut the genuine fuck up. do u not know how impactful are u?!?!? do u not know how amazing u are?? ure literally an angel okay?? irdk what my tumblr feed wouldve looked like if it werent for u. ure amazing. ure kind. ure beautiful inside out. yes not millions know u/follow u but u still matter to a lot of ppl and thats enough. its not imp to be at the top,,, ultimately if u think abt it even bts have pretty much each other and a few friends outside of it and thas allll that matters hon. everyone has a diff journey and we should never compare ourselves w others. i struggle w it too and ik its easier said than done but when u stop comparing yourself even for just a bit, u see how bful and mess free life is.

sometimes i feel like these long paras may be annoying for u like no one asked n**ka fkn relax😬but i really wish to like,,,,, be there for u if that makes sense??? no? okay. in short, ure free to bin it if u dont want this but i hope u can feel better by reading this. and even replying or not replying, keeping it priv or wtw its all upto u. i just cant see one of the most bful souls ive ever met being sad and overwhelmed :(

chugg that water down baby, helps wonders<3 listen to some music, dance to some hoe songs (fkn mood imo) or just dance in general. let that adrenaline kick in and... wlel imma stop talking now🤣😅babe ill see u mf sooonnn!! take care<33 million kithies for u and holding yo hand like tae does yoon's :3 💖💖💖 (🐯)

hello my sweetest love! It’s so good to hear from you, I’m glad that you’re doing well 💞 I hope you don’t mind a rather short answer from me this time around; I am incredibly grateful for everything you said and it’s really comforting to know that you care about me enough to take time out of your day to write me these lovely messages, I still don’t know how I deserve that 💔 I’ve gone through a really tough episode recently, and while yes, it had also to do with some stuff that had happened on tumblr, it was mostly triggered by my actual real life fears and problems. I think I’m getting better at taking a step back from here when I feel overwhelmed by content, my own negativity and/ or fears that I have and that’s good! I also think that I won’t be sharing so much of my mental instability anymore on here lmao, and just stay offline when I’m feeling bad. So that’s why I won’t talk more in depth about what you said in this ask, I really do hope that’s okay 💘 I adore you so much for cheering me on and making me smile (and blush!!) so much with your sweet compliments, you really make my heart flutter babe! I’m repeating myself but – thank you, so so much. You always make me feel better about myself and what I do and I’m just so utterly thankful. I love you, take care!! ❤️❤️

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[sabradaz]

Just wanted to say this isn't hate or anything. Look, i realize that u shuldn't blindly accept information u r being fed abt a medium u never interacted w, n this case it's books, n u obviously r right by saying that u shudn't have discourse abt it if u haven't read it, n so a person shudn't. That being said knowing the background of the creator/author n all the problematic things they've done, i personally will safely take the information i recieve abt it bc there's no point in reading something if i'm unable to enjoy it, especially considering it will waste the limited time i have in my life when i can spend it on other less hurtful things. I'm not gonna engage in discourse abt it, ofc, but i'm still not gonna read it. Also these aren't just petty problems. We're talking abt actual real life issues that actively hurt marginilized communities. We're talking racism, fetishization n transphobia. I'm not gonna force myself to read or watch something if ik it's only gonna end up mentally triggering n hurting me. Again i will not *personally* engage in discourse abt it, but i will stand idly n watch others who have read it do so, so i can form my own opinion on it. Is that a bad idea? Probably. But better safe than sorry. Is life unsafe, n i shudn't hold myself to the expectation that it will be? Ye, ofc, but that's not what i'm talking abt tho. I'm talking abt when *i* have the control, n if i can help it, y wud i wanna go out of my way to purposefully inflict pain on myself. If there seems to be a great concensus, n not a tiny one, that there r many problems w the medium in question, then frankly better safe than sorry. N i will even go as far as warn those close to me abt it. I won't start a discourse abt it since i haven't actually interacted w it, but i'll still give warnings based on what i've heard. If they end up wanting to interact w it, that's their choice. I won't force em not to. I've never watched “Birth Of a Nation” in my life, but i know from the great concensus held that it is an awfully racist movie, n it will only shock n upset me if i watch it. I'm not a robot. I'm a human w feelings n emotions, n i sure am gonna proudly n arrogantly act on them, ONLY when it comes to these issues. I'm not gonna think logically cuz academia, which has a BIG history w classism, racism, transphobia n everything bad under the sun, tells me to. Again none of this is hate. Just wanted to hopefully let u in on a diff perspective.

Here is the thing. You don’t have to have an opinion on anything. Saying, “I heard this movie is racist/homophobic/sexist/antisemetic, and therefore I have no interest in watching it,” is extremely valid and I personally think is very smart. First and foremost self care is essential and reading those reviews and then refusing to engage in the content is great. However, you need to keep in mind that you’re making those judgements based on reviews, not the content itself.

For example, I haven’t read the new ACOTAR book and I’m not planning on it. I made this decision based on the fact that I didn’t enjoy the other books too much and the poor representation throughout the series became a deal breaker. However, as long as I haven’t read it, I can’t really form my own opinions on it. I especially can’t from any opinions that would have any value in any form of discourse or otherwise. If (I have yet but I also don’t really engage with the fandom) I see a post calling it racist or homophobic I might feel validated in my decision but that doesn’t mean I can make my own post calling it racist or homophobic. I still wouldn’t have anything useful to add to the discourse regarding the new book. If you know what I mean?

I wrote this post specifically in response to some discourse occurring in the She-Ra fandom probably about six months ago? I won’t go into too much detail expect essentially the creators did a panel about the show which received a lot of accusations of racism, antisemitism and homophobia. Most people posting about it had clearly not seen the panel because I’ve never seen such a huge amount of misinformation being spread so quickly by a fandom in such a limited space of time. (I’d like to add that some of it was good and important, especially in regards to Bow’s brothers, but a lot wasn’t.) This wasn’t to defend Noelle Stevenson, but rather to highlight the fact that by refusing to watch the panel but engage in the discourse regardless they were adding a frankly useless voice to the issue and were at risk of spreading misinformation.

This post was not about people forming their own views on whether or not they want to engage in the content and by extension discourse of a text. If you decide you don’t, all the power to you. But you need to know you won’t have anything useful to add to the discourse or even general discussion regarding it. I couldn’t write a long post about the poor representation in Sarah J. Maas’ books because I read them so long ago I can barely remember. I don’t want to reread them and so as I don’t have anything useful to add to the discourse I don’t and I shouldn’t.

Academia is extremely classist, I know. It has many faults in its approaches to pretty much everything. But it is right in the sense that you have to engage in the material to make a judgement on it. You can’t do a calculus question without having seen the question, like you can’t interpret a text without having read/watched it.

I think we both agree on this though. My post was specifically referring to public discourse, not how one privately engages with books/movies/etc. and I agree with you in that regard. However, it is really important that we draw that line between what we can use as private judgements on something and what we can use for public opinions. If you put something in the public it can influence people’s understanding of what you are talking about, and as such you need to know what you are talking about. What Dave from Sound Design said about something isn’t a good enough basis to start public discourse on, regardless of whether you think it’s good or bad. But if it makes you want to either read/watch or not read/watch something then that’s fine too.

[weeniewrites]

OKAY ONE LAST POST BECAUSE IM ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE AT NOT TALKING

its a more serious one though, so if you dont wanna see me be more personal go ahead and skip i dont mind. im gonna ramble abt the shame i feel with having sadistic thoughts and fears of sexual agency, and kinda, sex in general, maybe some self destructive behaviors? kinda honestly putting my soul out there. its a bit of a vent post. im not having a bad night or anything, just thinking a lot, and want to get those thoughts out of my head

i, really outta do some research on actual sadism or just, see other people who have similar thoughts cause ill admit i feel a lot of guilt about it. like id never, ever, EVER want to hurt another person, and the idea of even spanking someone consensually is very scary to me

but this isnt a new thing for me, some of the first things i found arousing as a kid involved pain. i was fascinated by inuyashas blood covered hands, and rewatched part of a youtube letsplay over and over and over again just to hear the noise link made when he got injured again. same with part of that animated 2ne1 music video where the villain grimaces when his car gets hit. these are really vivid memories for me so like, i know this isnt some suddenly new thing for me. (im also repulsed by gore but can also find it beautiful in art, and writing violent stuff is therapeutic for me but can be REALLY triggering if im reading it)

and i dont know if that sorta, anti kink purity culture thing the internets been moving towards has contributed? to that shame i feel, or if thats just my empathy acting up. because i really do care strongly for people, basically every person i ever meet. and i, sort? of understand the appeal of masochism myself, and i definitely understand the appeal of domming. but i dont understand how to control a scene, how to start up a scene, how to monitor the subs mental state, how to even take that control in the first place because even imagining doing that scares me so, so fucking badly

so i write noncon dom stuff, so i dont have to figure out how to get them there, or how to keep them safe, and i get to satisfy that deep hidden desire to scratch and claw and smile and laugh at someone shaking and crying in fear. or if its soft, just taking care of them and loving them and being loved and needed i can imagine companionship in the only way i understand how, through sex. ive had very few long lasting close friendships, ive never had a crush, and honestly im not, sure? i enjoy sex? like i like being touched but once i have to do it back i get really scared (unless we take things really slow, but im also very inexperienced). i just like being desired, or honestly getting touch of any kind and thats the only way i know how to ask for it

and i kinda, only realized that fear recently. i dont think i had it when i was 18 and I was just starting to interact with people online. but back then i wouldve never dreamed of flirting with anyone either. (had that fuckin trauma BOY HOWDY)

um, to bring this around to what brought these thoughts out, a while ago i was flirting with a friend, we just did that for fun absolutely no sexual or romantic intentions involved. and they told me about how sore they were and i responded back with a grin and giggle and a growl and a laugh and said all the different ways id love to bend and prod them to make it worse because, well, I’m a sadist. and they liked it. i got dizzy with how much i enjoyed that teasing. i literally started slurring my words and had to stop because i couldnt talk anymore, just drool and lay in a warm fuzzy heap of satisfied feelings.

and then afterwards we talked for a bit and as i calmed down and came back to myself i just, i felt like i was going to burst out of my skin, shakey and unsteady, head buzzing, nearly obsessive with the need to tell them i’d never hurt them and make sure i hadnt. so i told them. tried to keep control of myself but i cried. i was near fucking inconsolable. i was terrified i made them uncomfortable, went too far though everything was consensual and it was just flirting, not even explicit! teasing at the maximum! we’d said far spicier things before! they knew i’d never hurt them never want to hurt them never dream of hurting them. and i still cried. i felt wrong. i felt mean i felt horrible, and i’d enjoyed it

and im still a sadist, i find specific kinds of pain arousing, i dont like scarring or blood, preferring discomfort over all, and occasionally i write much much darker content that i dont find sexually appealing, but helps me get out my anger and other emotions i dont know how to process otherwise, and sometimes its just, fun? i know i dont want to hurt people, and i know these things are helpful for me, but i still feel shame

honestly a lot of the kinks or fetishes i used to like, im not sure if i do anymore, either because i just, dont, or ive realized theyre not as acceptable as i once thought, or theyre just not as common online anymore. and i dont feel comfortable sharing them, whether out of fear of rejection, or of making someone else uncomfortable. considering some of the stuff i enjoy imagining or writing i cant read myself. thats, kindof a weird contrast isnt it? (but that might also be because when i was younger, much younger, id read very dark fics, or angst, or look at gore, animal death, death and the nearly dying, as a form of self harm, purposefully seeking out what i knew would trigger me just to keep me dissociating for as long as possible so i wouldnt have to feel, and i’ll admit this is still a mild problem for me, but ive gotten leagues, leagues LEAGUES better. and i try very hard to heed warnings, because i know no one would want me to do that with their works)

cant i just have fun, do i have to have all these shames and memories to go along with this kind of stuff. whyd i find it when i was younger. why do i so closely associate porn and sex with pain when ive never really stopped consuming it. why cant i admit i just want to be held and told im important and enough instead of imagining getting dicked down by men who i both wouldnt be attracted to irl and be scared of

[maivalentine]

Why do “problematic” ships and characters appeal to us?

I really wanted to write up a long post on this subject, seeing the ever growing hate and even IRL bullying that occurs because someone likes a character or ship that is deemed “bad”. A lot of these people say they are abuse survivors and invalidate the feelings of OTHER abuse survivors and it’s really starting to get on my last nerve. A lot of people in fandoms commonly say things like “That doesn’t make sense to me” or “I dont understand it” or “they hate each other (as if we didnt know that already in canon)” .

Another popular thing to do is to claim we crave unhealthy relationships and glorify them to the point where mock posts and comments have been made about those of us that hate/rival ship characters.  Or, if we like an individual character that is a “bad person”. 

Coming from the stance of a physically and emotionally abused person - and from what I have seen in my own fandoms and other people who support characters and ships for the same reasons I do, this is an explanation as to WHY we like these characters and their dynamics. I only speak from my own POV and am in no way trying to paint a picture of everyone who can speak for themselves. 

1) Rival ships :

Why do people LIKE rivals together? Typically they are seen consistently competing and trying to show each other up. Sometimes it’s questioned if they even “like” each other, or if the rivalry ends the relationship ends. There’s several things people like about rivalry. There’s something really attracting about two people getting passionate about each other. At some point it becomes a routine - their routine. Often times the bickering starts out as legit teasing, that turns into friendly banter. There are a lot of people that love the idea of friendly bickering, teasing, and the dramatics of being someones rival. 

Sometimes this doesnt happen in canon. Sometimes we decide on a ship based on their character personalities and how we *think* they would act in a fanon reality. Others can perceive this TOTALLY different which is where the “not understanding” comes from. It’s kinda wilde but different chemistry appeals to different people. Unlike hateships however, rival ships tend to be really friendly. Not always, but usually. Rivals that turn to friends BUT STILL keep their antics is one of the most appealing things about their relationship(s).

2) Hateshipping:

Unlike rivalry (which can exist in hateshipping as well) these characters have made it clear in canon they DO NOT like each other, or have blatantly stated that they hate each other or even that they want to kill each other. The terrible misconception about those of us that ship these (personally, one of my favorite dynamics) is that we support abuse and we “get off” to bruised and beat up characters and we’re twisted. Now while I don’t think there’s anything WRONG with being attracted to that dynamic, for myself and many others I’ve seen in different fandoms, Hateships are NOT about abuse - and they are hardly ever based on canon events unless grabbed to use in fanon + AUs. Hateships tend to branch off from canon and form into fanon AUs where we see this chemistry working if x thing happened, or if x thing developed this way instead, etc.

Hateships aren’t all the same - sometimes we get clue-ins that the two characters are able to respect one another to a certain degree, sometimes characters start out hating each other and that changes, or sometimes they save the other’s life unprompted. Little things like that create more initiative for us to think “huh... this could work if circumstances were different”

A lot of time with hate ships, we see how the two characters personalities mesh together SO WELL even though sometimes they appear as total opposites. Like rivalshipping (which it grabs some similarities from) they have grown into a routine of needing each other in some strange way. And we LOVE to explore that.

Another big thing about ships involving hate, is that they are often written and drawn by fans as a couple that HEALS not a couple that ABUSES one another. It’s usually about healing and forgiveness - confused feelings, and really digging into how these characters really dont actually hate each other at all. The fun part is exploring their complicated relationship.

3) Problematic Characters:

*Characters that experience abuse, but have done unforgiveable things:

People tend to assume that liking a character like this means we glorify them, support what they have done (ex: murder, emotionally damaged others, acted out, caused physical harm to others) and fully support them to the point where we want them to be forgiven for the bad things that they’ve done. It varies for every character, but in most instances that is NOT the case. In fact it’s only a handful that call these types of characters “precious characters that did no wrong” and MEAN it. ( a lot of us joke abt it but arent serious ) 

Like I said at the start of this, as someone who’s been abused in both ways I feel like these characters deserve BETTER. Sometimes abused characters are unfairly treated in canon - they arent given help, their help is taken away from them, their abuse turns them into the awful person they are. We want them to have redemption - we want them to have a fair development. We want abused characters to have some understanding, some respect. We are not saying it’s OK that they physically or emotionally hurt others. We are saying we understand them -- sometimes their actions can reflect an abused persons *impulses* that arent acted on. Abuse pain and the inner turmoil goes deep. Abused characters usually end up with a terrible hand, shitty development, and usually die or never get a chance to be understood. 

*Characters that are mentally ill:

Similar to an abused character (sometimes characters fit BOTH) people think we are saying “theyre mentally ill so we should forgive them and support what theyve done” no . no . no. much like the abused character, we SEE how their illness has effected them and again -- how theyve received no help in canon. Thats why ships involving these characters often revolve around rehab, redemption, healing. Typically with both these types of characters we see glimpses of how they were a good person before their trauma effected them. And we want to see more of that person. We want that person to come to life. Because we almost NEVER see abused or mentally ill characters come out alive or with understanding. 

*Villains:  

I know a lot of people don’t grasp this still, but you can like an evil character just because they are just so GOOD at being bad. It doesn’t make YOU a bad person for liking them. It’s fictional and their actions effect no one in real life. Yes, bad content can cause a trigger or a bad feeling - it can hurt. But liking a bad character does NOT MEAN we support bad feelings // things that happen to REAL people. 

Villains tap into dark fiction and it’s PERFECTLY okay to love horror and twisted things in fiction. Not all villains are 100 percent terrible either. Some start as a villain and become a hero. Sometimes, the other way around (a favorite of mine). Nothing about liking a bad character means that you are a bad person. 

What’s relateable about a villain? They aren’t perfect. They have interesting character development and back stories. Usually very dark things have happened in their lives. Sometimes, villains can draw out sympathy whether you see it personally or not.

People need to respect the fact that not all minds think the same. Abused and mentally ill people, do not exist in some bubble where you personally get to decide what content is right and wrong for them to consume.

People joke about “coping” but it’s true - we DO use fiction to cope sometimes and there’s nothing wrong abt it. We DO enjoy the darker side of things sometimes and want to explore it in fiction. There’s nothing wrong with it, and it hurts NO ONE at all.

If anyone tells you that you are hurting them for liking a fictional character or ship, they’re full of shit, plain and simple. You CAN NOT hurt someone by liking fictional pairings and characters.

It is not your fault if content you like triggers someone. It is not your fault if someone doesnt agree with your personal taste. It’s not THEIR fault either. It’s no one’s fault for triggers (unless we intentionally are trying to hurt someone which is shitty dont do that) and uncomfortable feelings arising for simply enjoying something.

It’s an unfortunate thing - we all handle these things differently. But what we have to realize is that all content is consumed differently and we need to respect that. We need to kindly deal with what makes us hurt (and what makes us not hurt) in a respectful manner.

It does no good to claim people are “rapists�� “pedophiles” or “support murderers” for simply liking a character or a ship. You can be disgusted. You can rant. You can vent. You can express yourself no one’s stopping you.

But lines are totally CROSSED when you personally attack a person (who probably experienced some abuse of their own - its ,more likely than you think) or even physically attack a REAL LIFE person over content that they like. 

People have been bullied at cons for liking characters like Goro Akechi or Nathan Prescott . People have been called horrible things for liking characters that are deemed “bad” by others. 

I’m not saying pedophilic or legit horrible content doesnt EXIST nor do I condone it (lines to be crossed here too tbh), but it takes a bit of common sense... a common sense a lot of attackers against “problematic” content do not have.

To end this I want to say the most mind-blowing thing to me is a person claiming to be an abuse survivor and then emotionally or physically attacking ANOTHER ABUSE SURVIVOR (or any other type of person really) over what characters they happen to like. That IS abuse. That IS harassment. And you ARE a part of the problem. 

You are not protecting us by hurting us (ABUSE SURVIVORS AND THE MENTALLY ILL) & others .                                                                                     

[amnesiaguy]

(1) hi, ive been considering the past few days what you wrote about how trans men (particularly steve) are written and treated in fic. i feel as though maybe ive been too lenient bc im just happy to be able to read fic abt trans steve. i know when things are written bad bc they make me dysphoric and im good at just closing it and not making myself feel worse, but i was wondering if you could make like a small rec list of ones in which you know steve is treated well. -

(2) and (in the nicest way) maybe some that seem innocent but are actually not great? (i understand if this is uncomfortable so dw if u don’t want to.) i know there’s yours (which i love) and then the other two that i have really been moved by are ‘Stellar’ and ‘War, Children’. if this is too much emotional labour i totally get it, but I’ve never really seen another trans guy actually take a step back and analyse the content that is being provided for us, -

(3) so thank you for making me consider what I’m reading and not just blindly accept it because its the only thing available. i really appreciate you and your writing, thank you for that as well.

i can definitely rec you a couple that i like, but i am not in the mental headspace to make a list of bad ones to avoid. it’s uhhh Trigger City and i am just way too fuckin tired, you know? i also don’t read a lot of trans fic because it’s genuinely so bad and i have better things to do than trigger my dysphoria on purpose. but here are a couple that i really enjoyed:

I Do What He Does (Just Slower)

period-typical transphobia done right. sweet and good. probably my favorite tbh

italics and small spaces

smut with a trans character written very well and very respectfully, really normalizes trans bodies

stellar

i know you said you already read it but it’s so good!