#its not a hyperfixation until i write meta thats much longer than it needs to be. so here we are

[mongeese]

Sorry I’m in the middle of the final leviathan episode and I’m going insane over the fact that Fabian lost all his class benefits and is no longer a fighter in any meaningful sense. Like, he had the worst day of his life and it broke him so thoroughly he is no longer himself. He wanted to prove himself to all the pirates of Leviathan, wanted to uphold the Seacaster legacy, wanted his father’s followers to follow him as well, but instead he got almost 20 people killed and was completely humiliated in the place that he always equated with his father. He’s let down his father’s memory in the worst possible way. And that destroys him. At this point, he’s been broken down to nothing (or he believes he’s nothing, at any rate). He’s not a fighter. He’s not a champion. He’s just an exhausted and defeated and scared kid who thinks he’s no longer worthy of the name Seacaster.

And the reason it destroys him so completely is because for his whole life, Fabian has considered himself as an extension of his father. He’s Fabian Aramais Seacaster, son of Bill Seacaster, the greatest pirate who ever lived. Even though he’s confronted time and again by the ways they are not the same, Fabian can’t bring himself to believe that there is any choice for him but to continue his father’s legacy, something that becomes doubly true when his father dies. And so when he fails doing that in a way that is so incredibly brutal, he loses all that he is. He’s just Fabian, and in his eyes, just Fabian is nothing. And then they make that real in the gameplay. Lou Wilson you’re a character building genius and I’m going to kill you