#its nice seeing actual content instead of k!nk stuff | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deadcactuswalking · 4 years ago

Text

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 28/11/2020

Huh... I expected a busier week this week but I probably got what was ahead of me just a bit earlier this week instead of anything that feels contemporary or currently relevant. I mean, yes, we do have three top 10 debuts but that’s as far as our stories go in terms of the big singles and albums I expected to have some kind of less muted impact on the chart. The big issue here is that I didn’t consider how much of a chaotic mess 2020 has been, so people really want to get straight to the festivities, if you catch my drift. Hence, with four weeks until Christmas, and a Christmas that for a lot of people will be a lot different thanks to you-know-what, we have a lot more of the holiday stuff crashing in earlier and harder than I or anyone expected. It’s still November, guys, calm down. Anyway, Ariana Grande’s “positions” spends a fifth week at #1 and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

As always, here’s a brief rundown of what’s going on. Most of this rundown for the UK Top 75 will be holiday music, so I might as well run through the returning entries and climbers first. We have “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis at #72, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #69, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by WIzzard at #61, “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea at #55, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee at #52, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John at #49, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson at #46, “HOLIDAY” by Lil Nas X up to #42 off of the debut, the horribly racist and despicably awful “Do they Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid at #38, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #35, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens at #33 and then some big gains for the Christmas songs that were already here, like “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring the late Kirsty MacColl at #26 having the biggest rise of the week (there’s always controversy surrounding that song each year so it tends to surge high – also it’s an incredible song), “Last Christmas” by WHAM! at #20 and “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey already up to #14. That doesn’t mean there weren’t other gains and returning entries of course, in fact, we have some big ones, those being “Plugged in Freestyle” by Fumez the Engineer and A92 inexplicably making its way up to #39 because Irish drill is always good for the holidays I suppose. Speaking of drill, “Whoopty” by CJ is at #12 and “Loading” by Central Cee is at #34. “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd also enjoyed continued gains up to #24. Thanks to BTS releasing their umpteenth album Be, the lead single “Dynamite” is back at #37 – more on them later. Oddly, thanks to the PlayStation 5 of all things, “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee returns to #30. I mean, okay, sure, it could be a worse song at that spot. Naturally, however, we have some big fallers and drop-outs because of this, so I’ll list them off starting with the fallers. Nothing survives Christmas music, and especially with UK chart rules, streaming cuts and a BTS album, everyone suffers, but especially hip-hop and R&B. In no particular categories, here’s our mish-mash of fallers: “Lemonade” by Internet Money featuring Don Toliver, Gunna and NAV at #22, “Giants” by Dermot Kennedy at #28, “What You Know Bout Love” by Pop Smoke at #29, “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra at #31, “UFO” by D-Block Europe featuring Aitch at #32. “Holy” by Justin Bieber and Chance the Rapper at #40, “WAP” by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion at #41, “Princess Cuts” by Headie One featuring Young T & Bugsey at #43, “Looking for Me” by Paul Woodford, Diplo and Kareen Lomax at #45, “Lasting Lover” by Sigala and James Arthur at #47, “Come Over” by Rudimental featuring Anne-Marie and Tion Wayne at #50, “Ain’t it Different” by Headie One featuring AJ Tracey and Stormzy at #51, “Holiday” by Little Mix at #53 (Wrong type of holiday), “Chingy (It’s Whatever)” by Digga D at #54, “Come Over” by Jorja Smith featuring Popcaan at #56, “Tick Tock” by Clean Bandit featuring Mabel and 24kGoldn at #57, “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI at #58, “One Too Many” by Keith Urban and P!nk at #59, Jason Derulo’s “Take You Dancing” and “Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)” with Jawsh 685 at #60 and #62 respectively, “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles at #64, “Mood Swings” by the late Pop Smoke featuring Lil Tjay at #67, “Deluded” by Tion Wayne and MIST at #68, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #70, “Lighter” by Nathan Dawe and KSI at #71, “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals at #73, “Papi Chulo” by Octavian and Skepta at #74, and “Confetti” by Little Mix at #75. Honestly, I can’t find much to complain about here, other than maybe “Lemonade” or “Princess Cuts”, but a lot of these were either some of the biggest hits of the year or just songs hurt prematurely by the festive season. Oh, and there’s also drop-outs from the UK Top 75 ranging in degrees of importance. Here’s just the notable ones: “Straight Murder (Giggs & David)” by Giggs featuring Dave, “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac, “Stop Crying Your Heart Out” by BBC Children in Need off the top 10 debut last week and some over major hits from the Autumn-Winter season in 2020, like “Put Your Records On” by Ritt Momney, “Daisy” by Ashnikko, “For the Night” by the late Pop Smoke featuring Lil Baby and DaBaby, “Laugh Now Cry Later” by Drake featuring Lil Durk and three genuinely massive #1 hits and songs that will represent 2020 on a wider historical scale: “ROCKSTAR” by DaBaby featuring Roddy Ricch after 31 weeks, “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi after 52 weeks and finally, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I after 67 weeks. Okay, so “ROCKSTAR” is the only good song there but I’ll talk about these tracks in my end-of-year lists, if those happen. Now we’ve gotten through all of that, let’s discuss our new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#66 – “Blue & Grey” – BTS

Produced by Ji Soo Park, Levi, V and Hiss Noise

No, I haven’t listened to that new BTS record, even if it’s just six new songs, “Dynamite” and a skit. I don’t mind BTS or K-pop as a whole but I do like my pop music with a bit of personality that I find a lot of these idol groups kind of lack. That doesn’t mean they can’t have infectious and good songs, however, and that also doesn’t mean that they can’t display actual emotion because this song is directly about anxiety, depression and especially artist burn-out, which is a topic of all bands BTS should know well. Reading the English-translated lyrics, despite a clear language barrier, some of these lyrics are pretty poetic and I do like the use of colour imagery. Some of the lyrics seem odd, probably because if I were a Korean speaker I’d pick it up more naturally, but SUGA’s first verse is pretty concise and effective, using this metaphor of a blue question mark over his head, and J-Hope gets into some unexpected biblical territory and goes on this admittedly emo-pop trajectory that I kind of vibe with. The song itself is actually less sonically interesting than I expected, being a mostly melancholic acoustic guitar-based ballad that sure, has some pretty nice acoustic pick-ups, but doesn’t really lay an interesting enough foundation in the verses for them to flow over, especially with the awkward 808 bass and strings that are honestly a lot prettier than any of the instruments further to the front of mix. The boys sound mostly fine, and the chorus is really nicely sung, but J-Hope’s aggressive delivery and charismatic inflections, as well as some clever mixing, make his verse the clear stand-out here, at least in my opinion. For what it is, this is a damn good attempt at tackling these subjects to a young audience and I respect it, even if its meaning gets lost in imagery and could be a bit skewed thanks to how the song’s written. Otherwise, yeah, this is nice.

#65 – “Move On” – Lil Tjay

Produced by Avery on the Beat

You know, it’s odd that we have such scattered new arrivals this week and they all seem to be concentrated in little bubbles at opposite extremes of the chart. These first three are damn near consecutive and in the top 10... Well, you’ll see. For now, we have Lil Tjay of all people debuting on the chart with what seems to be the biggest single from that upcoming second record. I’m not a big fan of the guy, in fact I think he kind of ruined Polo G’s “Pop Out”, but the lead single, “Losses” was pretty okay, and I haven’t looked far enough into his work to really make a judgement. Also, despite being a typical New York Auto-Tune crooner kind of on the same level as A Boogie wit da Hoodie, he has a connection with the drill side of New York, and has collaborations with people like Fivio Foreign and the late Pop Smoke. This doesn’t really show any of that, however, rather going for a break-up track where Tjay feels like he’s going against his deeper instinct to move on from his ex-partner, even if he admits the relationship was toxic. It doesn’t help Tjay’s narrative that the song is borderline unlistenable, though. He decides to sing the ad-libs and some parts of the chorus in this tedious and nasal cadence even worse than his usual whiny voice, which is mixed way too high and he’s still somehow completely unintelligible under the layers of ugly Auto-Tune and reverb on the echoed background vocals. Also, this beat is based on a cheap acoustic guitar loop with a stiff trap skitter planted on top and bass mastering so terrible Lil Baby would be jealous of it. By the time the beat brings in some interesting electric guitar riffs, it’s fading out, and it is absolutely a sensory overload in the verses. I don’t mind the content here at all, but yeah, this sounds awful in almost every regard. Also, since this is our only “rap” song here, where’s Megan Thee Stallion’s album on the chart? Not even “Body”? Huh, I guess that’s why you shouldn’t release in the holiday season.

#63 – “This Christmas” – Jess Glynne

Produced by ???

Jess Glynne produced a cover of the Donny Hathaway classic and uploaded it as an exclusive to Amazon Music for no reason other than potentially driving up sales for that Christmas #1. It worked with Ellie Goulding’s “River” last year (which wasn’t even a Christmas song, just a Joni Mitchell cover), so let’s hope she doesn’t succeed this time. It is on YouTube, so I won’t protest that much, but honestly, why would you want to hear Jess Glynne’s cover over the Hathaway classic, with his smooth, buttery voice, soaring strings and lest we forget the pianos, bongos and that gorgeous horn section that make the relaxed single an absolute classic and one of the best options for Christmas pop, especially in the more R&B sector. With her recognisable but generic smoky-indie-girl voice, plastic-ass production on the horns, strings and especially the digital production, Jess Glynne’s cover isn’t modernised or revived, it just feels gentrified. It tries to go for a guitar solo but it’s in the back of the mix and lasts for like five seconds so what’s even the point? Lil Tjay’s song may have been terrible but this offends me more on a personal level for whatever reason, probably because I am opposed to how commercialised and cultural Christmas is nowadays, which makes the best, more grounded and down-to-Earth Christmas songs the best written and those with the most longevity... at least I think so. This won’t last, though, it’s “I Love Sausage Rolls”-tier Christmas track, and I hope it fades away soon enough.

#48 – “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” – Justin Bieber

Produced by honestly, who cares?

Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and (censored)ing end me. At least Jess Glynne can convincingly sell a Christmas track with her smoky, warm and powerful voice, and, you know, at least the woman can SING! Justin Bieber making a Christmas song is completely expected after his born-again-Christian ass got married and settled down with his new family, and this is pretty obvious in his songs. I mean, “Holy” is practically already a Christmas song, and even with that, it takes a more interesting Christian angle and is mostly about marriage and relationships. Bieber has made Christmas music before, yes, but as a Disney-like child star just to sell records for his big conglomerate... and wow, how Bieber hasn’t changed, since THIS is a soulless cover of the Brenda Lee classic exclusive to Amazon bloody Music. It’s not even on YouTube in full so what’s the point of listening to this all? What is the use of this? It’s not going to charity, it’s less widely-available than the original and as far as we know, it’s not connected to a wider Bieber Christmas release. When Katy Perry pulled this schtick last year, at least she had an original song – and a good one at that – to back it up. If you’re going to sell your soul to the industry devil to attempt to get a sappy Christmas song out to the public so your name creeps back into the household, at least be upfront about it, and not hiding behind your Amazon Music subscriptions. The worst part is how this is actually charting higher than Brenda Lee’s rendition. Bieber, you soulless industry puppet, put your Goddamned song on Spotify or Apple, or just don’t make it at all. You already have a Christmas standard in the form of “Mistletoe”, and that one actually kind of bumps in the sleigh, so why are you doing this? God, I’m praying for an actually good song on this chart any moment now.

#10 – “Life Goes On” – BTS

Produced by Pdogg

You could describe BTS in a lot of ways, but “alternative hip hop” isn’t what I would have expected. Thanks for that, Rolling Stone India. Anyway, this is the big album-release single from the record, and it’s about you-know-what, but more specifically finding comfort, safety and happiness during chaotic world events. They made a speech at the 75th United Nations General Assembly, because of course they did, and this was their main message: “Life goes on, let’s live on”. Honestly, it’s not a bad message and something that people do need to hear right now, even if it is more of a blanket statement than anything too specific or meaningful, and, you know what, that will definitely help this song’s longevity. I mean, that vaccine’s on its way... right? Either way, this song is pretty good. I do like that chipmunk vocal sample playing against the slick acoustic strumming – I understand this sound is all over the album – and both the falsettos from members like Jungkook and RM’s deep rap cadences work pretty well over a beat that, whilst lacking the punch you’d want for a song like this, does a good job at expressing that wish to find serenity and be calm when... you know, 2020 is happening. SUGA’s verse is short, pointless and kind of just there to get all the boys on one track, especially since he’s not really flowing that well here. It reminds me kind of how they want all of the Backstreet Boys to get on the big single to appeal to each and every fan, even if the clear stand-outs of personality will have the most success. For BTS though, I don’t see that, and I think they pretty clearly work best together when they compile all of their ideas into a mellow albeit pretty motivational track like this. I absolutely love those harmonies from Jimin and V in the outro, and whilst I don’t see this sticking around on the charts, I’ll stick around in my playlist, which is more than I can usually say for whenever the Korean lads pop up on the chart. This is our first of three consecutive top 10 entries this week though, so let’s keep going.

#9 – “Monster” – Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber

Produced by Frank Dukes, Kaan Gunesberk and Matthew Tavares

Oh... he’s back. Well, okay, Shawn Mendes sounds pretty nice over this trip-hop-adjacent steady drum beat and the really pretty, cloudy guitars, as well as some of the harmonies they end up having and the distorted guitar by the end and... man, I know “Wonder” flopped but I don’t see this sticking around either. It’s just a nothingness track and while I do like the more specific content about the uncertainties of fame and the music industry, even from the Biebs, Sure, this is pleasant but it’s clearly just radio filler and since radio doesn’t factor into the UK’s charts, I see this as a pretty profound refusal of wanting an actual hit from both Shawn and whoever that guy is next to him on the cover art. I was wondering on how to actually write this segment since I really have nothing to say about this song at all other than that. I was thinking of ignoring Bieber’s presence but that would actually give me less to talk about, so... “Monster” by Kanye West is one of his most hard-hitting tracks and definitely one of his best brag-rap bangers, with an iconic verse from Nicki Minaj and admittedly middling input from JAY-Z and Rick Ross, all stuck together by the minimal, tribal percussion that lets everyone go off and be a bit more unorthodox, as well as Bon Iver’s eerie voice caressing this beat in the intro and outro. Let’s get even newer for a song from this year, like King Princess’ beautiful piano ballad “Monster” that does a damn great job at representing the characters it was made for, those being Marceline and Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time. I’ve yet to watch Distant Lands because I want to re-watch at least the essential episodes from the original series before, but I am excited to see these characters again and in a different light. 21 Savage’s “monster” featuring Childish Gambino is a pretty damn good trap track, with an unexpected rap verse from Gambino, Paramore making a song called “Monster” for the Transformers soundtrack is the most late-2000s thing that has ever occurred – in 2011, no less, uh, I like the “Monster Mash”. I think there’s an Eminem song in there somewhere, I don’t know. Look, you get the point, I hope that’s enough stalling. Let’s get to that final song.

#8 – “Prisoner” – Miley Cyrus featuring Dua Lipa

Produced by the Monsters & Strangerz and watt

So, Miley Cyrus was a Disney teen pop star and has since been trying to carve out her musical identity to varying degrees of success, but most transitions to styles have been largely unsuccessful in terms of creating a long-term sound. You have the dance-pop, club and hip-hop-adjacent party tracks on Bangerz, the psychedelic “avant-garde” era of Miley Cyrus and Her Dead Petz, the soft country-pop ballads on Younger Now, the ugly alternative R&B-trap-RuPaul-featuring garbage on She is Coming and finally her new, new wave sound, which can be seen in his most polished form on Plastic Hearts and its two singles, “Midnight Sky” and “Prisoner”. Miley is getting a whole bunch of sounds from a lot of different genres and styles going around in the late 1970s and early 1980s, such as the hard rock, pop rock and even punk rock styles all gaining a lot of popularity at the time, and has fused them with disco and modern production to make what is basically a Blondie album if they still had their stuff together in 2020. She has got legends on this album though, like Joan Jett, Billy Idol and even Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac, and honestly I really like how she’s making a female-fronted rock album that is written and performed really well and honestly should probably be her style going forward if she wants to stick with the longevity. I mean, look at “Midnight Sky”, it’s literally still at #7 staring in the face of its successor, “Prisoner”. Much like Lipa’s own “Physical”, this track interpolates Olivia Newton-John’s classic of the same name (that kind of sucks in retrospect), and does a better job than “Physical”, where Dua Lipa has much more of a presence over the drum machines and that minimal bassline that runs through the chorus really well alongside the strings and swells of guitar. This is dance-able, sure, but it’s more of a showcase of Lipa’s swagger and Cyrus’ raspy tone that really works on this album. That pre-chorus is great, especially the second time where Lipa goes solo for that last line. Honestly, my only complaint is the bridge / outro, which feels pretty under-cooked, and that there should be more inter-play between the characters on display here. Other than that, yeah, this kicks ass, and I’m just grateful this song is here and as high as it is, especially on a week like this.

Conclusion

Now, is it completely fair to give Worst of the Week to a song I can only legally listen to 15 seconds of? Yes. Absolutely. It’s going to Justin Bieber’s “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” on pure cynicism alone. Dishonourable Mention goes to Lil Tjay for “Move On” being an earache, with the Honourable Mention going to “Life Goes On” by BTS for just being solid all around. It’s pretty obvious where Best of the Week lies, though, so yes, it is going to “Prisoner” by Miley Cyrus featuring Dua Lipa, and it really wasn’t even close. Here’s our top 10 for this week:

Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank if you want to give me more undeserved clout and I’ll see you next week.

0 notes