#its my modus operandi at this point

[jjelliacee]

barbie girl, barbie world

[widevibratobitch]

im so fucking mad at myself and my stupid fucking coping mechanisms and that it took me this fucking long to realise im a people pleaser and not only that but the most pathetic kind - the kind that doesnt *actually* manage to please anyone lol

[lilac-5ky]

get him back! (ex-boyfriend!Toji x Fem!Reader)

mini kinktober tribute: hate sex

plot: you broke up with toji and he decided to break your friends, until you decide you've had enough.

tags: hate sex, toxic relationship, exes to ???, reader tried to be a good friend, toji is a manipulative asshole, against a door, unprotected sex, spanking, recording, derogatory petnames, slight angst and arguing.

wc: 2.2k

Masterlist | Kinktober Masterlist | AO3

“You fucking asshole! I know you’re holed in there like a damn rat; open up!”

Your fist bangs against his door with abandon. You don’t care that it’s 4 a.m. on a Thursday night or that the neighbors probably think of you as some crazy bitch, which maybe you are. You turned into one the moment your best friend was dumped through a three-word text.

“Saw your clunker out front; open up or the whole block will learn what a prick you are!”

Kimie was in love with him. She was in love with him when she collapsed on your doorstep an hour ago, and she was still in love with him when you left her sleeping soundly in your bed. So were Nanako, Azami, and Rio—the victims before her.

His modus operandi was the same with all four of your friends. He approached them one by one, casting the same spell that enchanted the panties off their thighs, dated them until he got bored, and then broke them into a state beyond repair, leaving you to pick up the pieces.

“I swear, if you don’t open the door right fucking now—” You’re suddenly dragged into his apartment, your wrist pulled against a firm wall of muscle as the door shuts behind you with a thud.

“And they say prayers don’t get answered.” His smile makes your guts churn, pearly white canines beaming below a taut, scarred lip. “Tad late though, aren’t ya? Been—what, two hours since I dumped that b—”

An attempted slap has your hand joining its twin in his grasp. “Call her a bitch again, and the next will be your balls!” You flail, trying to break free.

He doesn’t look disturbed in the slightest. His grin only turns wider at the sheer hatred with which you look at him.

You hate him. You hate Toji with every inch of your being. You hate how he ruined your friends’ lives on a whim; how he poisoned them against you, pointing you out as the reason for each of their breakups. You hate how there’s an ounce of truth in that accusation because, in his twisted brain, he’s doing all that for you. Because his ego can’t stand that you bailed on him first.

“Oh yeah?” He sneers, shoving your hands back against your chest. “Try me, girl. Show me what you got.”

His eyes provoke you, as smug as the rest of his face. You hate to think they were once the most wonderful thing in existence, and you treasured them like pure jade.

Your hands ball into fists, that remain glued to your sides. Your threats are empty, and he knows that. You aren’t there to fight. Just to give him a piece of your mind and hopefully, put an end to this insanity.

“Finally came around?” Toji asks at the lack of reaction.

You sigh. “How long will you keep this up?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Any more cute friends of yours left to fuck?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Your voice climbs a whole octave above his.

“You are.”

“Really? You’re gonna pin all of that on me?” It takes every bit of self-restraint not to pluck the hair out of his stupid head. “Please, enlighten me!”

“I miss you.” He admits, and he sounds earnest, but you aren’t fazed. You’ve heard all of that before; read all about it in the countless texts he’s sent over the past five months. “I miss my pretty baby and all the fun we had together. Miss how we talk, how we laugh, how we fuck.”

You managed to disregard the sculpted muscles decorating his bare chest that had been in plain sight since before you entered his place, yet now you look at them with a stare that is almost nostalgic.

“We were so good together, princess. Why be apart now, mm?” He reaches out to you, his forefinger curling near your cheek. “Don’tcha think your tantrum lasted long enough?”

“My tantrum?” You smack his hand away. “You are the one who had it good, Toji. You are the one who had a maid, a girlfriend, and a wallet all in one. You did nothing, and I did everything! I cleaned for you, I cooked for you—I even tagged along to all your stupid races, and you did what exactly? Fucked all my friends to get back at me for calling things off? If you really think it’s my fault, then you’re sick in the head, though that’s nothing new. You killed us; not me.”

Toji scratches the back of his head uncomfortably. As expected, he has nothing to say in return. He doesn’t miss you; he misses the comfort of you, and you don’t miss him either. You simply miss the way he sometimes held you tight against his chest and whispered he loved you so many times that you were inclined to believe him. You miss the dreams you created—the entire life you’d planned together only for it to be viciously torn apart by his current self.

“Can’t you see it? There’s no ‘we’ anymore. There’s only ‘you’ and ‘I’, and the poison that’s left behind from what we once were. It’s over between us, but ” you take advantage of his silence, “Kimie did nothing wrong. She loves you, so better give her a call, say you got high on some shit—I don’t fucking know—and apologize. Beg if you have to, but get back with her.”

“And why would I do that?” His arms fold over his chest, a thin obsidian brow shaping an arch. “Boring bitch was only good at getting my dick wet. Nothing like you.”

His voice mellows down as he speaks your name, his eyes waning past his eyelids, both soft, unlike the calloused palm that traces the outline of your face. “I was serious about you. Still am. Why else you think I did all that? I love you. Love my baby and her little pussy so much.”

“S-stop that.” Your heart skips a beat as he corners you against the door, your hand searching for the handle behind your back.

“My pussy.” His lips ghost over your neck while his hips buck into you possessively. “C’mon, baby. Be honest with yourself. You don’t really give a shit ‘bout Kimie. You came to me cause ya knew I’d fuck you good. Haven’t let anyone in my pussy since last time, mm?”

“You are wrong.” You breathe out, nails digging sharply into your palm. You don’t want this. You don’t want him. You are here for your friend—the only friend you’ve got left after he turned everyone against you. “You ain’t shit, Toji.”

“Yeah? How many guys have made you scream like I have? How many of ‘em have fucked both your brain and thighs into mush? How many of ‘em you called daddy, hm?” He bites into your shoulder, and an immediate shudder circuits from the point of impact across your body. “Thought so. No one fucks you like I do. No one will ever love you the way I do.”

“Fuck you, Toji.” The way his knee presses between your thighs coaxes a sigh he doesn’t miss. He grinds harder, your heat pulsing below your soaked underwear.

“Yeah? Fuck me?” He’s gone back to facing you, his minty breath tickling your bottom lip right before it follows his tongue into your mouth. Your body doesn’t resist; worse, it reciprocates.

“Yes. F—fuck you,” you mumble, having found a new reason to hate him.

He is right. You never cared that much about Kimie, because if you did, you wouldn’t have sneaked out in the middle of the night in your skimpiest outfit. Avenging your friend was the last thing in your mind, an afterthought drowned by his lips and his hands crawling beneath your dress.

“Why not do it yourself, baby?” Toji nibbles at your lip in the exact way he knows that you like. “Fuck me. Fuck me, and I’ll take that bitch Kirie back ‘f that’s what ya still want after.” His finger curls around the elastic band of your panties, awaiting your answer.

“God, I hate you so fucking much.”

“Hm?”

“It’s Kimie, you asshole.”

In an instant, your arms loop around his neck and your legs around his torso as Toji lifts you up against the door. He grunts into the kiss, teeth and tongues clashing while each tries to gain access to the other’s body. He rips your underwear into a single shred he flings away, giving your ass a rough smack that makes you whine countless little I hate you’s into his mouth.

Fumbling with the laces of his sweatpants, you lower them enough for his cock to spring free, already rock hard even when you’ve done nothing besides arguing. You almost moan at the sight, thinking to yourself there might just be a part of him you actually missed.

“Shoulda wash that potty mouth for all the useless shit it spews,” he murmurs against your skin, sliding your dress’ straps below your breasts and rolling the hem over your stomach. “‘member how much ya loved to suck me off? Gagged on every inch and swallowed every drop like the fucking cockslut that y’are.” His teeth dig in your flesh, coloring a mark right above where his fingers close around your neck. “My cockdrunk whore.”

“Just fuck me and get this over with.”

Your breathing grows strained the more pressure he applies, your walls clenching around his cock as he finally sinks inside. You try not to give him the satisfaction of a reaction, pursing your lips together while his thick girth stretches your cunt to its limits. You channel all the miserable memories he left you with, every tear you shed over him seemingly gathering as slick that squelches with each thrust your moans drown out. Oh no.

“Liar,” Toji smiles haughtily, a continuous drum from his hip ruthlessly slamming yours against the wooden door, your back rising higher each time. “Knew ya wanted this as much as I do.”

“N-no,” you pant out, stubbornly holding onto your last vestige of self-respect while the tip of his cock insists to kiss that one spot that has you seeing stars quicker than you can account for.

“Don’t tell me ya still lie to yourself ‘bout doing this to be a good friend.” And when you don’t answer, he reaches into his pocket to dig out his phone, first pointing the camera at your face and then at the point where his cock splits you open. “Wanna make a video and send it to her? See what she makes of you getting railed?”

“You fucking piece of shit!” You slap the phone from his grasp, the entire screen filling up with cracks before going dark.

“That was new.” His tongue clicks against his mouth’s roof. “Guess I’ll have to make you pay for this, hm?”

Both his palms drop to your ass, spanking both cheeks in tandem with his thrusts until tears thread your eyelashes, the intoxicating mix of pain and pleasure speeding up your orgasm.

“A bit louder, baby. Don’t think the neighbors heard ya.”

He bullies his cock faster into you, husky moans complimenting your high-pitched whimpers that fill the space and echo across the halls of his apartment building.

“T-Toji, I—” He finishes you off before you can finish your sentence, your eyes squeezing shut as fireworks blast behind your eyelids.

“That’s my girl.” He praises, laying soft kisses that you reject on your sweat-covered forehead. You don’t want to be fooled again. This is a one time thing.

“‘m not your—ugh, fucking girl.” You hiss, yanking at the frayed tufts of hair your fingers pick from his skull. “Never will be.”

“Sure about that?” A hand sneaks between your bodies and finds your clit. “Bet if I make ya cum ‘nough times, you’ll come crawling back to me.”

“N-not a chance,” quickly shifts into a loud, “Fuck!” when he starts rubbing quick circles around the sensitive nub. You can’t seem to stop moaning for him, feeling your second climax creep up on you at the same time he spills his load, fucking every velvety rope of his cum deep inside your sopping pussy.

You stand on your feet for the first time in a while, your knees trembling as you struggle to keep straight without his aid. Toji looks so smug with his cock still throbbing in his hand, the swollen red tip mocking you and your efforts to resist it.

He pulls his sweats up, and without a warning, the door flies wide open. This is your chance to leave. It’s what he wants. For you to either bear the shame of stumbling back home with his cum staining your legs down to your ankles or stay the night and be tricked into getting back together; humiliation on both ends.

“What’s it gonna be, baby?”

And as the door falls shut behind you, you know you’re going to hate yourself even more after this night than you ever hated him.

a/n: so i planned this waaaay too late, but i still wanted to partake in the madness known as kinktober. i'll be doing some of the days at random, sometimes adding more than one kinks to one one-shot. most will be about toji, unless-

and yes, i'm obsessed with olivia's new album. sue me. masterlist tomorrow, it's 5 am ffs.

[sgiandubh]

C might mean well, but I find businesses using charity to sell suspicious.

Dear Provocative Anon,

What you say deserves an audio (there have been two of them two weeks ago, compensating for last week's silence). I have many things to tell you and please excuse the delay:

They really can't win, with people like you, can they? And that goes for both C and S, mind you. No matter what they do and try to promote as a side project, there is always going to be someone unhappy and vocal about it. When it's not you complaining 'business using charity to sell' is 'suspicious', there's the other fuckwit asking recently why S hasn't given all MPC's profit to charity, as Paul Newman did with Newman's Own.

So, I will be brutally honest with you, Anon. I have thoughts and questions about your own point of view and this is partially why it took me so long to answer you. It would seem you are not familiar at all with what is called 'corporate social responsibility' (CSR), since at least the Sixties. Which means, in a nutshell, companies who choose to focus part of their activity and dedicate part of their profits to charitable projects. It is done with various degrees of ethics, success and bona fides all around the world, and it is often used as a strong marketing and sales argument.

Think about these people, whose brand is probably immediately recognizable wherever you go, spare perhaps Pyongyang:

I just picked this Coca Cola Foundation recent CSR project in Brazil totally randomly, using Google. Some might think it's just another cynical diversion: one of the world's biggest corporate profiteers, happily contributing to the current obesity pandemic (including in Latin America), suddenly showing one of its biggest markets they do have a conscience, after all, and a social one to boot. And addressing, at the same time, one of the continent's post-colonial bleeding wounds, which is to say, the organic imbalance between rich and poor, as far as access to means of production, land ownership and use and sales opportunities go. 480 farmers benefitting from Coca Cola's magnanimity is probably but a tiny drop of hope in an ocean of dour social injustice, but the truth is, Anon, if nobody does anything good, then nothing good will happen at all. It is as simple as that, and while their modus operandi is probably not exactly my cup of tea, you will have to admit it works, at least to some extent and for some people. Plus it greatly enhances the company's do-good, sensible and reliable global image, because of course, what happens right now in the state of Minas Gerais is but a tiny part of a bigger strategy.

Might I add that even those robber barons, à la Cornelius Vanderbilt or Jay Gould, who made their ruthless fortunes building the railroads of a still very young United States of America, ended up giving a very small part of their same fortune to various charities. It wasn't nearly enough what we would consider as 'reasonable', in 2024, but it did start a philanthropic trend, that took considerable speed after the 1919 Boston Molasses Disaster. The Sixties have just added more pragmatism and gave a name to what was, at its very start, quite an opportunistic endeavor.

Even so, Vanderbilt and Gould themselves did not invent anything, really. One should look to good old Europe to find what is probably the first big CSR project in human history, still going strong since 1521. May I introduce you to the Augsburg Fuggerei:

[for even more pious charity: https://www.fugger.de/en/fuggerei]

Renting one of those wonderful Hansel and Gretel houses for less than one euro/year, plus three daily Hail Mary is something to behold, right? Jakob Fugger the Young, the guy who had this brilliant idea (which, might I add, is still run and operated by the Fugger banker family, even nowadays) was literally a ruthless kingmaker, a colonial trade and exploration pioneer, but also a religious bigot who flatly refused to extend his charity to Protestant families. Still, his pious dream goes on - the Fugger Family Foundation even actively plans its next 500 years. This is Germany, after all 😉.

Those people’s money stinks more of corruption and crime than S or C’s ever could, Anon. Still, they are remembered as benefactors, by many. History is seldom cruel to those who are willing to pay for their posterity.

But you know what, Anon? Compared to the Fuggers and the Vanderbilts and the Goulds, S and C are really small fish in an even smaller, fickler pond. I think they are doing it out of their good heart and I think they are honestly, genuinely responsive to the idea of giving a chance to young, struggling artists. But, in the process, are they also trying to market themselves as more approachable and less controversial, considering the (oh, I shall never tire to repeat this, with gusto) cosmic amount of bullshit plaguing their respective public images? My somewhat cynical answer is also yes, Anon. To which may I immediately add that it's not even important: all that counts are the tangible results of whatever good things they do with their booze and/or fitness profits.

Results and helping trigger a change in one's life is all that really interests me, Anon. It seems to bother you, though, so I will cheekily end this long rant with a couple of questions: do you have a problem with poverty? do you believe in giving people a (second) chance, or do you think only the rich are worth considering and valuable?

If so, I honestly pity you, girl. For the real indigent in all this might be you.

[rist-ix]

What is Valtor (tbhtbh) love language?

I wanna say War Crimes And Violence for the shits and giggles, but this has made me think and I do think it’s a little more complex than that. My second answer would have been gift giving — as someone whose entire identity revolves around taking things by force, giving something freely to someone else is the highest gesture of affection imaginable — but even that feels more like a side affect than his actual expressions of love.

I think across all my fics, and Tbhtbh especially, Valtor's love language boils down to Control. In little ways, like in Sparked, where he has this constant desire to be the one who controls Bloom's studies and progress and overall access to information. Or in big and obvious ways in tbhtbh, like literally imprisoning her in a tower and regulating every detail of her day. (Paperwork too of course, Valtor has an obvious ego-boner for being the invisible force behind bloom's throne, of being needed)

You could probably dig really deep into that too, given that his relationship with his mothers consisted of almost nothing BUT control. His experiences with “””love””” are very much shaped by being physically dependent on the whims of his creators. I don’t necessarily mean that in an “that’s the love he experienced so it’s the only way he can express his own” way, because, well, he's not an idiot. He hates them and is very aware that their control only made him more eager to kill them. I mean it more akin to “he is resentful of the idea of being controlled, so now he sees every relationship as an arms race of controlling the other / he wants to compensate for that feeling of powerless then by feeling in control now”. Add to that that he is pretty much invulnerable at this point in tbhtbh, and his only remaining weakness is his emotional dependence on Bloom — which he is aware of. Just like he was aware of his mothers' ability to decimate him on a whim, he knows that Bloom could put him back into that mad state of agony should she die or escape again. A state he has lived in for three years and has no desire to return to. I just love to torment this little freak okay? He's so tormentable!!!

I think most of his other love language vocabularies tie back into his control issues in one way or another. As mentioned before, he likes to give gifts — I could go into an essay of its own about how that ties into his canon schtick and modus operandi, but I’ll stick to tbhtbh here.

He keeps Bloom's clothes and gives them back to her? For one because he knows she likes her clothes and misses the good old days, for the other because it reminds her of how those good old days ended — with him burning down Alfea. T-pose to assert dominance, yadda yadda.

He shows Bloom the garden? Well, that one gift she can’t take with her should she run away again. He controls Domino, the garden is ON Domino, if she wants to enjoy it she is by definition tied to this place and him.

And then there’s the entire rest of it, like the pretty room and the food and the fancy soaps and so on that are in her room. He is quite literally in charge of everything she has access to, and he doesn’t fail to remind her of that.

And, of course, we cannot forget that he loves to hear himself talk, so another way he expresses affection is by saying so. Constantly. He is being objectively cruel to Bloom in everything he does, but he never misses an opportunity to express how much he missed her, admires her, respects her prowess in combat and enjoys her company. Talk is cheap and he is a big fat liar when he feels like it, but in this he is 100% genuine and he knows Bloom knows that.

Great ask, Supreme!!! Sorry for the late answer, I already had like two paragraphs written a month ago, but tumblr deleted it and I got frustrated lol

[jeannereames]

Hello Dr. Reames! Why do you think Alexander never set his sights on the conquest of Sicily - a rich island with longstanding Greek presence? Is it because when he came to the throne the plan to invade Persia was already on its way? I understand that Rome was a backwater town at this point and that Persia was the bigger prize, but Sicily always remained rich and hotly disputed

Inertia had a lot to do with Alexander’s choice, plus SIZE of the conquest, plus a plausible reason for the attack. I’m going to address these backwards.

Sicily, at least in the east, was—as you note—Greek, it’s largest city, Syracuse, Corinth’s most famous (and successful) colony. If conquest was still a valid reason for war in his world, increasingly parameters were put on it. We may understand these as window dressing concealing motives often economic (“follow the money,” ancient version). Yet by the 4th century, attacks on “fellow Greek” city-states needed some sort of rationale beyond naked ambition—often a current or historical beef.

Hence, Philip’s reason for attacking Persia (all about the money) was vengeance for the Greco-Persian Wars of over a century prior.

Another example, with Sicily in particular: Athens attacked Syracuse during the Peloponnesian War because she wanted Sicilian timber (for naval construction), after Brasidas of Sparta had convinced Perdikkas II of Macedon to cut off Macedonian timber—which had been Athens’ supply since the Greco-Persian Wars. Yet Athens justified the attack because Syracuse was a daughter-city of Corinth and Corinth was a member of the Peloponnesian league. Not to mention the war began due to Athenian-Corinthian aggression. So, by extension, Syracuse was tagged as an enemy of the Delian League (e.g., Athens’ not-so-covert empire), and ripe for hostilities.

Alexander didn’t have a ready-made excuse to attack Sicily. He probably could have found one, if he’d really wanted to, but this brings me to my second point.

Sicily is just not that big. And if some of her cities were wealthy enough, they didn’t begin to compare to Persia. When it comes to Alexander, “Think small” was never his modus operandi. LOL. Sicily would have been regarded like the Greek city-states of Anatolia (Asia Minor): a worthy acquisition…on the way to Bigger and Better. Yet Sicily lay west…not on the way to Bigger and Better. Just then. (more below)

Last, and the real reason: simple inertia.

Persia was the campaign his father had planned for probably a decade, and had fought south Greece to line up support for, culminating in the Battle of Chaironeia and the League of Corinth. Alexander did have to spend his first two years re-pacifying the Thracian and Illyrian north, not to mention re-fight Thebes to keep the south quiet … but PERSIA was what he’d been hearing about for years—what all Philip’s alliances were formed to pounce on.

To suddenly change and set his sights west on Sicily wouldn’t have made much sense, not to mention it would have alienated some of the city-states he needed (particularly his naval allies). He couldn’t have sold it as a “Panhellenic” crusade in revenge for the Greco-Persian War.

So, basically, I doubt it would ever have occurred to Alexander to sail west to attack Sicily when Persia was the bigger—and long planned upon—prize.

Now, let me add that—if academic speculation is correct and Alexander was setting up a campaign against Carthage near the end of his life—it’s quite likely that Sicily, and especially Syracuse, would have figured into that…but as allies, just as later with Rome. Carthage had long held the western part of Sicily, and struggled with the Greeks in the east for control of the whole. Conflicts with Carthage are why Syracuse invited in Rome for what became the First Punic War.

By the end of his life, and after Agis’s Revolt was crushed, Alexander was such a power, the Greek city-states had mostly given up opposing him. They contented themselves with snarky remarks and symbolic gestures—until after ATG’s death, when they rose up to try and oppose Antipatros in the Lamian War…which failed.

Yet if we could suppose Alexander had recovered from his last illness and did attack Carthage, Syracuse (et al.) would have been all over that. They’d have stood to benefit handsomely in territorial acquisitions. And at that point in time, Alexander probably was the only power that could have beaten Carthage on the water.

Hope this helps to explain why Alexander’s focus was always Persia.

A last thing: the nature of the Greek landscape, with the formidable Pindus Mountains down the center, had divided the peninsula east and west for centuries. The city-states on the east fronted the Aegean Sea, while those on the west fronted the Corinthian and Adriatic Seas. This affected both colonization and conquest ambitions. So eastern city-states tended to look east and western (including the Peloponnesos) tended to look west.

Macedon looked east. By contrast, Epiros looked west. That’s why Alexander of Epiros went to Italy while his nephew went to Persia. Never underestimate the impact of simple geography on history in the ancient world.

[angel-of-the-moons]

Nothing Is Lost

Khonshu x Fem!Reader

Summary:

Thousands of years ago, you were his greatest treasure. Robbed away by a culprit never found.

Separated by life and death, you were destined never to see one another again.

He was doomed to walk an Earth without you, cloaked in silvery shadows as he dispensed justice, returning to guard your tomb like a hulking ghost, a slave to his grief with only his soft words spoken into the dank air of your resting place to provide a break in the painful monotony of his haunting.

He would always mourn you.

He would always love you.

The only mortal to ever make his cold heart beat.

TW/CW: Death, mentions of death, violence, pain, blood, injuries, murder, betrayal, exhaustion, depression, loneliness, mourning, some historical inaccuracies here and there (for plot, and I obsessively read about Egypt on my own but I am by no means an Egyptologist), implied/shown incestual marriages/relationships (c'mon guys it was Ancient Egypt, I'm not gonna pretend those canon events never happened), Some fudged canon MCU!Moon Knight mixed with a few elements from the comics (it's fanfiction, what do you expect?) NSFW, smut, eventual smut, pining, memories, reincarnation, pregnancy, mentions of pregnancy, some OOC Khonshu (depending on how you look at it)

MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME

A/N:

This is something that came to me in a mix of a disassociation listening to this song (from which the story gets its name) and a plot facilitated by a Khonshu bot on c.ai (are you guys even surprised at this point?)

The main thought was, "Hey, what if Khonshu is an incorrigible douchebag because of some reason he hasn't disclosed? To anyone, for thousands of years? Why does he look so different from how reliefs depict him in scriptures and tombs? Does he secretly hurt inside and feels so much rage at failing in his duty to dispense justice on the one person he feels deserves it the most?" And this stemmed from all that.

Taglist: @drinkingwithkhonshu @astrosphereblog @themostegotisticalgirl124 @patchesofwork @lialiwasneverseen

Chapter 1: Dust And Echoes

Chapter 2: Stressing My Mind (Mind)

Chapter 3: Knowhere

Chapter 4: Strange Places, Old Faces

Chapter 5: Pomegranates

Chapter 6: Trust Issues

Chapter 7: Modus Operandi

Chapter 8: River's Flow

Chapter 9: The Book Of The Dead

Chapter 10: Guilt

Chapter 11: Styx and Stones

Chapter 12: Forgotten Graces

Chapter 13: The Before

Chapter 14: Starting Lessons

Chapter 15: Old Friends

Chapter 16: Luna meminit

Characters:

Merit (Picrew)

Human Khonshu (My Artwork)

Merit, Anippe, and Heba (My Artwork/Animated by Me)

Character Lineup (My Artwork)

[caffeinatedattorney]

Final thoughts! I'm going to talk about the aspects of the game bc I'm not thinking abt this anymore in a few days and I might as well since it's fresh in my mind. Also I didn't play it, I watched someone play it so I won't speak abt gameplay at all.

Harvey and Bruce are very much not okay. This batman is so angry and he's so desperate to save people. He's caught up in vengeance (defending Leslie and harvey) but clearly isn't sure what his modus operandi is just yet. That and he isn't seasoned so ppls deaths affect him and make him blame himself and hesitate. (when the inmate in black gate is pronounced dead.)

I was not expecting it to go hard on the trauma and abuse and how children act after said trauma, much less show it which was surprising! It is triggering but, depending how much you can handle, that makes it all the more engaging and heartbreaking.

I find it interesting how Bruce is the one prone to violence. He hits Harvey after Harvey says something from their fav show that triggers Bruce. I doubt ppl ever write Bruce being autistic but both Bruce and harvey come off to me as on the spectrum. With their fixation on justice, the fact they seem to be old enough to stop playing pretend but still do (though that could be just arrested development from trauma) and it seems to be their happy place as harvey is his loudest around Bruce and in the, what is it, rehabilitation center? Also they don't seem to have (m)any friends.

I remember this plot point from my own worst enemy and I like how it works here. I'm glad Leslie has a big role and connects everything together. (her telling Bruce off for making voices at her LMAO)

Harvey is more affected than Bruce is bc his trauma continues well into adulthood. He never left his fathers house, never stood up to him. I don't need him to articulate why but it feels so real and fitting and sad and I love it? It makes me feel things that he had a support system with Bruce and Leslie even if it seemingly wasn't enough.

I have a theory that the Rat King moniker is Harvey's self loathing coming to life and becoming his bigger-than-life mask. Bruce has the bat and harvey the rat. One soars through the skies and intimidates, the other burrows underground for safety and cohabitates to survive (and forms a cult)

Harvey's dissociation and the DID name drop ough. ("am I psychotic?!" ) I just felt bad. Dudes mental barriers are so high up he loses track of time (and probably feels like he's getting sucked underground). It hits hard that Bruce is one of the things that ground him despite the fear and disorientation. Wish we had seen Gilda tho. Unless they're meant to be separated?

And fuck, Harvey's voice. He's so meek and unsure the whole game. His little jokes ("this one was right outside my office. *pause* I'm fine by the way" ) . He gains strength when angry and when full of disdain (talking to matches) which is to be expected but goddamn that performance killed me. Leslie has to remind him to calm down ("be good" "be good" he repeats in an almost childish voice ) Too real. too good. He thinks of himself as weak until he's backed agaisnt the corner (when he was about to get shot he screams "Do it you coward!" )

Edit: I have this Hc of harvey putting a big front the way Bruce juggles batman and Bruce Wayne and the fact it's been validated makes me wanna go harder on it and harvey being autistic and the pressures and stress he must face. End edit.

Also interesting how they have Bruce and harvey call each other brother. Didn't want for it to come out too gay? I will say, it feels forced but I haven't sene anyone else mentioned bc its that inconsequential I guess.

I loved babs trying to help Bruce despite his attempts to push her away. ("I'm taking this crowbar" and he actually says "don't care!" ) also apparently when she leaves she turns a few times fuming and you can see it in detective mode lmao

Overall, better than I expected? I wasn't expecting harvey to be important at all. Hate the bait and switch and the fact it's a vr game bc I'll never get to try this lol. I'm glad they could expand on why Harvey and Bruce are how they are in the arkham universe.

[cacophonouscatharsis]

I've perused the Arcane critical tag somewhat, and a lot of people have a lot of valid points that I agree with. I haven't seen anyone talking about my biggest issue in terms of the events of the plot. My biggest overall issue is the writing which feels rushed, but like, an actual event that happened in the story that drives me nuts is Viktor and Jayce in the alternate reality. Maybe I'm missing something and my "media literacy" is garbo but I don't understand what happened. Keep in mind I know nothing about LoL lore so maybe there's some lore for some other thing that explains these things. Also keep in mind I am very verbose and I like to cover all my bases so things will be rambly

So the wild rune beneath the hex gate as I understand it from only watching the second season once. Is an unthinking unfeeling force. Just raw random arcane that can send you to alternate dimensions and timelines, and probably a host of other weird things. So it sends Ekko and Heimerdinger to an alternate reality where seemingly everything is exactly the same except Vi died, which has a butterfly effect that leads to a wholly different Piltover. Okay cool. Jayce, for whatever reason gets sent to a different reality. I presume it's because Jayce had the Hextech hammer and rune in his armband which set him apart. Unless Viktor from the doomed timeline somehow controlled the wild rune from across realities and intentionally summoned Jayce to his reality, but it didn't seem like that was the case. Anyway so Jayce gets there, see Old Viktor who then vanishes. Jayce sees doomed Piltover and walks its streets, getting spooked by Old Viktors robo slave people and then falls into a fissure, severely hurting his leg in the process.

My first issue is, why does Old Viktor just...let Jayce suffer? I know it's thematic or whatever to give Jayce a busted leg like Viktor, but why would a character whose all modus operandi is to reduce suffering just let his old partner starve and writhe in a hole in the ground? It doesn't seem to make sense for his character.

So he just kinda chills atop the hex gate until Jayce gets there, no doubt almost dying a bunch of times along the way. I'm sure Viktor coulda just teleported/fly up there with Jayce at any point. Jayce sees himself holding the hammer, which we later find out is the exact place he'll end up in our own reality. Therefore, I assume this doomed reality is exactly the same as the reality Jayce is from, only Viktor wasn't stopped, and achieved his "glorious evolution." By exactly the same, I mean Viktor was shot by Jayce and was resurrected to become evil Viktor in his own timeline just like he does in Jayce's.

In how the show plays out we don't see Old Viktor till the last episode, but Jayce does, and is sent back to prevent his own reality from becoming doomed. From my perspective Old Viktor and Jayce's actions from this point make no sense. Let's handle the former first. So if this doomed reality is exactly the same as Jayce's, other than Viktor getting his way, couldn't Old Viktor tell Jayce exactly what to do in order to avoid that from happening? I feel like if Jayce just let the Viktor of his timeline touch him and see what he saw, just like what happens later, Viktor would've come to the realization that his plan is wrong. He wouldn't have made the deal with Singe and Ambessa, Vander wouldn't have gone nuts and everything probably would've turned out a lot better.

In telling Jayce almost nothing about how to fix his own reality, Jayce decides "Okay so I gotta kill my Viktor and everything will be okay." Which leads me to my issues with Jayce. He....just kills Viktor. No talking it out, no allowing Viktor to see what he saw in the doomed timeline. Nothing. It seems absurd. And ONLY later when Viktor is super evil is when Jayce tries to talk it out.

"I just want my partner back." Then why did you try to kill him on sight? I'm sure from his perspective he doesn't know that Viktor is not yet wholly evil. He sees Salo being possessed and is like "Oh man it's already started." That being said, I don't think it makes sense for Jayce to go full murder mode from the getgo.

Again, maybe there's some big answer I'm missing that makes all of this make sense, but this is one of my biggest issues and I haven't seen anyone else talk about it yet, so yeah.

[jedimaesteryoda]

Serra was Illyrio’s second wife, a sex slave from a pleasure house in Lys, and likely Aegon’s actual mother. She was a Blackfyre in the War of the Roses parallel of Margaret Beaufort, likely Daemon IV’s daughter sold into slavery after Maelys’s coup. 

Serra’s story sounds much similar to Daenerys’s: a young girl of Targaryen blood in Essos whose (proclaimed) royal father was deposed by a distant cousin, and then sold into marriage as part of a plan to take the Iron Throne. 

She did succeed in having a living son unlike Daenerys, but she never got to see him grow up as Illyrio states about her tragic death:

"A Braavosi trading galley called at Pentos on her way back from the Jade Sea. The Treasure carried cloves and saffron, jet and jade, scarlet samite, green silk … and the grey death. We slew her oarsmen as they came ashore and burned the ship at anchor, but the rats crept down the oars and paddled to the quay on cold stone feet. The plague took two thousand before it ran its course." Magister Illyrio closed the locket. "I keep her hands in my bedchamber. Her hands that were so soft …"

I think just as he doesn’t mention the actual details of her identity and the reason Illyrio married, he also may have been fibbing about her death. The best lies have bits of truth, the truth being the grey plague likely may have happened at the time. Note, he mentions that a plague came to Pentos, yet he doesn’t state that Serra herself got sick. 

At the end of the chapter, Tyrion sings a song by Symon Silvertongue threatening to reveal his secret about the sex worker who became his mistress, Shae. Shae herself (understandbly given her situation) betrayed him, and he would end up killing that very woman with the gold hands of the Hand's chain.

"A Braavosi trading galley called at Pentos on her way back from the Jade Sea. The Treasure

For she was his secret treasure

"I keep her hands in my bedchamber. Her hands that were so soft …"

For hands of gold are always cold, but a woman's hands are warm

Just where was the galley headed? As Illyrio said, it was on its way back to its home port of Braavos, a historical refuge for escaped slaves. 

Cutting off body parts with the tongues removed for little birds is part of Illyrio and Varys’s modus operandi, but it must be noted that the cutting off of one’s hands is the common punishment for thieves. What did Serra try to steal?

The thing of most value to Illyrio and Varys: Aegon.

While Illyrio and Varys were all in on the plan to crown Aegon, just what were Serra’s thoughts on it? The plan involved taking her young son from her for perhaps indefinitely to be raised by strangers to pursue the Iron Throne, a quest that has only resulted in death and disaster for her family.

Serra may have tried to run away with an infant Aegon to Braavos. Illyrio’s house slaves may even have helped her escape. Of course, Varys and Illyrio found out and stopped her, killing the crew on the ship. They would have been undoubtedly mad that she almost undid years of planning, and she likely threatened to reveal their secrets as a desperate last attempt. By that point, she had given birth to Aegon and fulfilled her part in the plan, so they didn’t need her anymore. 

They likely killed Serra, and Illyrio kept her hands as a memento. Serra was used a brood mare for her house's cause and when she tried to exercise some agency, she was murdered.

[shittysawtraps]

Hello Paul

You like to go to the gym, and you take excellent care of both your physical and mental health through playing casual sports games with your friends. I would like to play a game with you now Paul. I understand how this may be confusing, as it seems to go against my usual Modus Operandi, however I assure you, you are meant to be here.

Last week, you went to work out at the gym, like usual, and last week, you very loudly and openly criticized the Skull Crusher Dumbbell workout technique. You laughed and said surely theres no real merit to that one, and what would even be the point, just use the big scary lat pull-down machine. You then did it with dumbbells anyway, with weights much heavier than expected. You made everyone else at the gym feel very uncomfortable and bad about themselves, Paul. I did an exit survey. That was a dick move, Paul, publicly accessible gyms are for people of all fitness levels and abilities, and its very demotivating when you're just trying to stay as fit and healthy as you can when living with, say, a cancer diagnosis for example, and the asshole on the mat next to you is pumping iron like its HIS life that depends on it (and before you try it, no, you dont have cancer, i checked that too, asshole.) Anyway, if the skull crushers last week were too easy for you, you can try my set up. These metal dumbbells weight 200lbs each and are super heated. They will cool down the closer you get them to your face, but watch out. Three sets of 25 reps, should be fine for you, right Paul? Eat shit, jerk.

[mushangaa]

Guarded

2024/01 (full view)

It started as a bit of practice for light. And then it dealt me emotions. Donatello "it is 3am and if you disturb my twin or come any closer I will remove every bone from your body." Hamato Also wrote a lil something while I was at it, mind, English is not my native tongue.

Leo had finally settled down, thank spirits for small mercies. He contemplated turning down the brightness of his phone screen, but then thought better of it. Leo had fallen asleep in spite of it, and this fragile peace was a hard won battle. Changing any variable of this moment might disturb him, so Donnie settled in for his eyes hurting in the morning and his back aching fiercely.

But he already had committed to a rough night if it only allowed his twin some respite from everything, might as well own it. The main issue was, there was no escaping anything else looming at the edge of his mind and everything beyond their door. Should’ve grabbed his headphones beforehand.

The house was too quiet. That in itself was the biggest giveaway how messed up things were, honestly. The silence was pressing on his ears like he owed it money and he did not care for its insistency to make itself known.

Their house was never quiet. Seven people under a roof- eight, he amended – it should not be like this. But ever since the accident the floor was made of eggshells, the walls padded in cotton.

No giggles that heralded a badly, albeit successful, late night cookie heist. No familiar snoring two doors down. Not even faint noises of a punching bag down below about to meet its maker under the relentless pounding of fists – honestly, that would’ve been a comfort if he at least heard that.

The TV was silent too and wasn’t that telling? That his father did not even dare to escape the tension in the droning of some nonsensical TV drama? Daylight wasn’t better, feet that normally raced down the halls, now tiptoed lightly, as if one misstep could bring the whole house down – maybe it would. And then there was the stranger in the room across from theirs. He wore his twins face, but he looked so worn and tired and had a hard time meeting their eyes.

That was what bothered Donnie the most, honestly. Because he was proof that things would go from bad to worse if coming back to this moment in time became a necessity to change course of whatever path he had to go down to get to this point. Donnie was already, even if he hated admitting it, woefully out of his depth. He could fix and repair a lot of things. There was nothing in his arsenal equipped to fix any of this. Not that would stop him from trying, mind, but given that there was a stranger just across the hall, that had his brothers face, meant he had failed the first time around.

But he would not do so a second time. Learn from the mistakes of the past, why not apply it to mistakes of the future too, now that they stared him so blatantly in the face across the breakfast table each morning?

He just had to do better than whatever other version of him had done. No problem. He can improvise, he can adapt.

And if that means to go beyond his usual modus operandi and gather up his twin, glue himself to his side and hold him all through the night and beyond that, despite his own misgivings of prolonged physical contact, just so he could get finally some sleep, then this is what it will be. There was no way to get back the pieces of Leo already lost to the accident; he would come out the other side of this mess changed. But he would come out of it. Donnie would see to it. And Donnie would not allow his twin to stray further and become a stranger in turn. Over his dead body.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Just had and idea for Miraculous AUs you might find interesting

First one concerning Lila- In order to in my head explain how she is able to pretend to be the daughter of several people and her abilty to make stupid lies believable I turned her into a Sentimonster and a old one at that, created in the image of a previous Fox wielder but during her creation/formative years she developed in a very sociopathic way, with her modus operandi being to go somewhere worm her way in, hedonistically exploit it for as long as she can get away with it and cause as much chaos possible to cover her exit( I only pictured her as being from the time of Nero but you could have her reminisce of Shang dynasty as her magnum opus if you turn her positively ancient); it would be fun if the majority of her stories actually happened in some form to her just farther in the past so all her lies are the truth form a certain point of view.

The second idea that came to me is a sort of Inro the Miraculuverse where due to a “deus ex machina” multiple alternate realities cross over and this is the kicker all of them are from other fanprojects from the Canon show, Your Hero Chat and Lady Luck, Scarlet Lady,Feralnette AU and Dad Villain AU, What the Cat Dragged In, There’s More Magic Out There and The Adventures of Panthera Noire, Miraculous! Rewrite, Hawkmoth Gets A Reference, Miraculous City, Kintsugi The Beauty In Broken Things, Queen of Secrets( yeah I preety much used all my favorite fics for this). This one is a long shot especially due to its use of other projects but i thought to throw it out there, maybe it will inspire someone and it serves as a recommend list for good works

Hope to hear what you think of these

Thank you in advance

-

Honestly Lila being an ancient Sentimonster made to cause problems is the best twist we could get.

Also the into the miraculuverse would be a hot mess because out of those ones you mentioned I think that somehow the HC/LL versions are the most mentally healthy. Not /sane/ mind you, but more support systems and less destructive spirals.

[olderthannetfic]

Re, this anon: https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/719669829313953792

Yeah, well... that's the point of a bunch of internet activists: they throw the stone and hide the hand, screeching that, if you're doubting their innocence, you're an imperialist racist who should never be allowed on the internet.

Stitch, the person they're picking up a lot of their schlock from, is a master in this: they attack people, and the moment those who got attacked ask what they've done that's wrong or ask to have a one-on-one conversation with them, they shut everything down, screenshot whatever they received, block the person, and then go on Twitter whining about being a victim of racism because their words weren't listened to like the Gospel. Over and over again.

After the TOG racefaker scandal broke, I went through her blog and, just as I had expected, she too followed the same modus operandi: attack, screenshot, block, cry about being a victim of racism because people didn't let her insult them and demanded explanations about her ranting, wannabe-academic, posts.

They're not the only ones who do/did this, but these are the two examples of constant "harassment is good if I do it, but I'm the only victim and the others deserved it" cycle that come to my mind as of now.

When you're looking at End OTW Racism, you have to expect the same thing. They don't have answers, they don't want to have answers. This whole movement (horribly organized, horribly promoted, horribly everything) is nothing but a huge stroke of ego for its organizers.

You know how antis accuse others of being racist or pedophiles or whatever else because, that way, the accused cannot defend themselves? This is the same thing: if the OTW doesn't address their manifesto, then they're racist because they refuse to acknowledge it; if the OTW does address their manifesto, then they're admitting that they didn't care about racism until the moment they were called out on it and their concern regarding racism within the OTW is manufactured.

It's a win-win situation for them because, no matter how much you try, if you don't fully and absolutely agree with them, you can be branded as racist.

If you scroll through the End OTW Racism tag on Twitter, you'll see plenty of people (and especially the organizers), tweet stuff in the same vein as "I went to olderthannet's Tumblr and oof," not so subtly accusing all the people who raised valid concerns and asked valid questions of being racist.

I'm also not the first person who mentions this, but Stitch does seem to be heavily involved with the project, and even if they weren't, their words have been used to build the manifesto, and they amplified this crap through one of their Teen Vogue articles.

Now... not only Stitch is known for acting in bad faith, attacking creators of colors, branding them as Uncle Toms, purposefully making fun of them if they don't agree with them and sending their followers to attack and harass, but, just in April, they were being dragged because of another article they wrote, in which they compared writing fics about bad fictional characters to worshiping serial killers. Weeks before that, they were being dragged because their fanbase of antis discovered that their fics included incest, something that goes greatly against their preachings.

How big of a coincidence is it, that Stitch needed to have their image cleaned of all sins and suddenly a group of people drops a manifesto and hashtag about racism in fandom, founding a movement Stitch fully and absolutely agrees with and can rave about for days on end? A movement that offers very vague answers and plans, and those creators attack anyone who doesn't immediately agree with them, to the point that no questions can be ever asked about it?

Unless I'm shown actual evidence that Stitch isn't involved with this, nothing will convince me that End OTW Racism was launched for any reason that isn't to rehabilitate Stitch in the eyes of their chronically online audience.

--

[dorindameddler]

it's also funny when anne retcons all of the annoying things about him, like when he's immediately like whenever i feel any strong emotion i feel the irresistible urge to burst out into hysterical laughter 😔 it drives everyone crazy but i can't stop doing it although i've tried my whole immortal life 😔 i feel like they're going to include that in the show too bc they have him laughing in s1. although i do feel like it's going to drive ppl craaazy despite the whole point of tvl being like don't judge a book by its cover... he has trauma... etc

Oh yeah they’ve definitely laid the groundwork for that in the show!

Yeah I mean, either you get that playing with misunderstanding and pov is the modus operandi of the vampire chronicles or you don’t 🤷🏽‍♀️ being willfully obtuse about the story they’re telling despite everything the creators say and what’s in the source material they’re adapting is only going to mean frustration and disappointment

[arcielee]

Interview With a Writer

Thank you so much @inthedayswhenlandswerefew for always being willing to take time out of your day and allow me the chance to fangirl over another brilliantly written story. I don't think I can even properly express how grateful I am to relive this literary trauma you have blessed our eyeballs with. Just... thank you. 🦀

This is the 20th installment of Interview With a Writer! You are welcome to read over the other talented souls on Tumblr and ao3 who shared their brilliant writing! 🧡

Dividers are by @saradika-graphics 🧡

Name: inthedayswhenlandswerefew

Story: When The World Is Crashing Down

Paring: Aegon Targaryen x Reader

Warnings:  Language, warfare, violence, serious injury, alcoholism/addiction, references to sexual content (18+), be mindful of chapter warnings!

Where did the idea for When The World Is Crashing Down come from?

For a long time (since last spring, at least), I’ve had kind of a vague inspiration for a story that would take place between Rook’s Rest and the end of the war, essentially chronicling all the destruction that the Greens endure and how Aegon would cope with it. I had a sense that there could be a deeply honorable, romantic story somewhere in the midst of all the large-scale horror.

Then—around the time I was finishing Comet Donati at the end of the summer—one day I had a vivid scene pop into my mind, and true to my usual writing modus operandi, it was at the end of the story: a woman who is just emotionally demolished, crossing a field as sparse snowflakes begin falling to meet her supposed rescuer, Cregan Stark. He thinks it’s this wonderful reunion, while she feels like it’s the end of the world. Once I saw that scene, I knew I’d have to write this series immediately. It just possessed me!

For the first month I was working on WTWICD, I listened almost exclusively to Fall Out Boy’s second album, From Under The Cork Tree. The songs are absolutely riddled with anxiety, self-loathing, violence, desolation, pride, lust, and defiance in the face of defeat. That album helped shape the general tone of the series and, of course, gave it its title as well.

You have notoriously stated before that the vivid scene for inspires an entire story. What are your next steps? What were the pivotal moments that had to happen in WTWICD?

So once that first scene occurs to me, I know I have a week or two of really powerful momentum in terms of figuring out the major arc of the story, so I take advantage of that and get right to work making a chapter list and brief character notes. I knew that the series was a bit like a circle in that it would start the same way it ended: ashes would be falling instead of snow, Aemond would be taking her captive instead of Cregan, and Angel would be mistaken for a Green instead of being wrongly assumed to be a Black. I also knew that I wanted WTWICD to (generally) follow the same canon events as Fire & Blood, so I matched each chapter to the actual events from the war, and then had another bullet point beneath with a description of what would be happening with Angel, Aegon, and the other characters that are the heart of this story.

In those first few weeks, I’ll hear a lot of random snippets of dialogue that I swiftly jot down in my Word Doc under the heading of whichever chapter I feel it will likely end up in. One of the very first quotes for this series was Aegon’s greeting to Angel in Chapter 1: “Hello angel, welcome to the end of the world.” These quotes help flesh out the story and transform requisite general events, like Angel meeting Aegon when he is near death after Rook’s Rest, into specific scenes. And then for any necessary detail that I don’t have an instinctive answer for, I start researching.

For example, here’s how I determined that Angel was a Celtigar. I did some Fire & Blood research to see which Westerosi families were allied with the Blacks vs. the Greens. I knew I needed a family that started out on the Blacks’ side and stayed there, and also wasn’t already decimated by the time Rook’s Rest happened, so that narrowed it down somewhat. I had felt that the vibes of the fic were oceanic, yet bleak—grey mist, rocky cliffs, rough waves—so I was leaning towards Angel being from the Crownlands. I stumbled upon the Celtigar family (having never heard of them before to my recollection) and was so excited! Firstly, I loved that Angel would be Valyrian, though not in an obvious way; the Celtigars, after being shunned by the Targaryens and Velaryons, intermarried with non-Valyrian houses until their features weren’t so distinct. Secondly, the crab metaphor was perfect. I had already known that the theme of perpetual resurrection—rebirth/reinvention that is repeated, though not necessarily leaving the person better off—would be present in this story, and crabs molting was symbolic of that. (Also, I’m from Maryland originally, so I appreciate crabs more than your average person, haha.)

Then for Angel’s faux family (Thorne), I knew I needed a Crownlands house that was loyal to the Greens throughout the war, which narrowed the options down considerably. I wanted a Crownlands house because I thought Angel, as a very academically smart person, would be savvy enough to know that another Crownlands family would share her accent/appearance/general knowledge more than someone from the Reach or the Riverlands, thus making her lies less likely to be detected. I also loved that Thorne (as in rose thorns) could be a subtle nod to a previous series of mine that was a Wars of the Roses AU: Now I’m Covered In You.

Tell me about your Aegon interpretation. Why is he the way he is in When The World Is Crashing Down?

Aegon is someone who has already gone through a number of transformations before Angel ever meets him. He is an innocent child, an unloved and mistreated adolescent, a man who succumbs to his worst vices, and then an aspiring hero who is trying his absolute hardest to live up to being king after his coronation. When he is wounded so horrible and painfully at Rook's Rest, Aegon is at the point where he's just ready for his suffering to be over. He got a brief taste of greatness and then was knocked back down to being useless and in agony all over again; he's accepted that his story is over.

Angel saves Aegon’s life literally, but she also gives him an opportunity to be honorable in a way that he hasn’t fully been able to before. She never knew him before his maiming, so she has no memories of his drunkenness, whoring, or any other sins. She is kind and gentle, and she sees Aegon as someone desirable and brave, particularly when she gives him (unintentionally) the opportunity to be her rescuer: from the brothel, from Cregan Stark, and from the world itself. Once they’ve met, Aegon is motivated by Angel—and the future they hope to have together—to be the greatest version of himself yet: someone who can both give and accept love in its purest form.

It is Aegon's love for Angel that compels him to fight to stay alive even under the most dire circumstances and when hope seems irrational. He's not doing it for himself; he's doing it for her.

What about Aemond? How is his relationship with Aegon?

Oh Aemond. The duality of man. Throughout this series, we see evidence that Aemond has all sorts of negative feelings towards Aegon. He feels that Aegon is physically weak, intellectually unimpressive, morally corrupted, and just generally unworthy of being king. However, at the same time, Aemond loves Aegon and is entirely loyal to him. Aemond borrows the crown when Aegon is unable to rule, but he never tries to take it. Aemond will flirt with and proposition Angel, but he never tries to get her to actually leave Aegon. And each time Aegon is wounded, we see that Aemond not only cares for him physically, but tries to uplift his spirits and carry out his wishes. We see Aemond hunting for a healer and then helping to clean Aegon’s wounds at Rook’s Rest. We also see him comforting Angel and stopping her from treating Aegon’s bleeding, shattered legs on Dragonstone (which is what Aegon begs for him to do in High Valyrian). Finally, we see Aemond’s repeated denial that Aegon might not survive the war. Daeron, Larys, and Autumn are all pragmatic enough to discuss it, but Aemond isn’t. His love for Aegon is too great.

Aemond’s interest in Angel is 50% ego-driven. He knows that she prefers Aegon to him, but if he can win her affection, he scores a figurative victory over his elder brother and gets to feel worthy/superior. This impulse (which isn’t necessarily something Aemond is consciously aware of) only intensifies once he learns that Angel is a Celtigar and therefore of Valyrian ancestry. But that means that his obsession with her is also 50% inspired by her intellect, skill, courage, and dedication to Aegon, all things that Aemond highly values. Angel never has any romantic feelings for Aemond, although he does increasingly become a source of strength, guidance, and comfort for her as Aegon’s health deteriorates. But he is definitely a little in love with her, even if that emotion is in large part merely a manifestation of his own inferiority complex.

What characters in your story that you enjoy writing?

Aemond “There are other Targaryens” Targaryen was definitely my favorite character to write in this series. He is a menace!! But a menace who is also loyal, clever, vulnerable, capable, flawed, and—it must be said—very, very nice to look at.

I really enjoyed writing Daeron too, who I envision as similar to who Aegon would have grown up to be had he not been beaten down by so much emotional and physical trauma. Daeron’s a ray of sunshine who is also an unrepentant war criminal, energetic and arrogant and a diehard warrior for his family. He jokes around with Aegon, but strategizes (or at least attempts to) with Aemond, recognizing the role that each brother plays in the family.

Finally, I loved Autumn! She was essential to Angel’s survival—street smart instead of book smart, experienced instead of sheltered and naïve—and while Autumn’s arc is tragic in some ways, she gets one of the happiest endings in the series.

Was Angel ever relieved of her guilt of what she did for Aegon?

Oh no, Angel felt horribly guilty for betraying Aegon, and I don't think she gets over that in her lifetime.

Aegon is definitely aware of Aemond’s interest in Angel, but isn’t especially concerned about it. He’s used to Aemond coveting the things he’s been given and feels that the Aemond-Angel dynamic is just the latest iteration of that lifelong pattern. Aegon relies upon Aemond both emotionally and physically—all the Greens do, as he and Vhagar are the muscle behind their war effort—and ultimately trusts him to do the right thing. Aegon doesn’t suspect that Angel would ever consent to being more than tentative allies with Aemond; it’s not even on his radar.

She acted impulsively in a moment of great emotional turmoil and misdirected desperation to help the Greens win the war and, in my mind, Aemond bears the responsibility of manipulating her into making that decision. (Even ghost Aemond alludes to regretting how he handled that situation in Chapter 12!) But Angel personally feels that she was disloyal to the love of her life, and wasted time that she should rightfully have spent with Aegon doing something that would have hurt him instead.

And she never gets to confess to Aegon, so she never gets the absolution of his forgiveness (which he undoubtedly would have given, under the circumstances).

What inspired Angel?

I love writing “readers” from all sorts of backgrounds and perspectives; we’re all unique people, and “readers” should be too!

Angel is the archetypal poor little rich girl. She has material comforts, but is ultimately ill-suited and dissatisfied with life as a noblewoman. She floats around aimlessly with nothing to look forward to (except her eventual marriage to a stranger, of course) until her brother Everett is nearly killed in a fire when she’s fifteen years old. Healing gives Angel a hobby, a purpose, and a sense of agency (indeed, the power to save or end lives) in a world where she has vanishingly little control over her own fate.

At the beginning of the series, Angel has a profound fear of sexual intimacy. I think this is something that would have been very real to women in a situation like hers, but isn’t often spoken or written about. She doesn’t have much knowledge of how sex works, and what she does know is pretty discouraging: women who are resigned, at best, or tortured at worst, with blood stains on sheets, death or disfigurement in childbirth, and being physically completely at the mercy of an older, larger man who you didn’t choose for yourself. It’s the stuff of nightmares! I once stumbled upon a Reddit threat of people sharing stories of their 90-year-old grandmas not knowing what an orgasm is, and it just completely broke my heart. I wanted to give voice to all the girls and women throughout history who have been robbed of agency over their own bodies and pleasure in sex.

Angel’s journey is a circle: she begins fearful, then becomes intrigued as her feelings for Aegon grow and she realizes she trusts him. (I think it’s significant that the two men Angel loves most, Aegon and Everett, are both disabled and therefore physically not as threatening to her.) She gets to experience informed, enthusiastic consent and pleasure, and then that joy is slowly taken from her as Aegon grows weaker.

And at the end of the story, Angel is back to where she started: forced to give herself to a man she didn’t choose—and he can have her whenever, however, and wherever he wants her—and without expectations of pleasure, only pain and resignation.

Do you feel Angel and Aegon complement one another?

Angel compliments Aegon because she is both clever and resilient enough to heal his body, but also provides him with opportunities to be a hero and prove his worth, not to her but to himself. She needs him to save her from danger, she looks to him for reassurance when she is fearful, and she relies upon him to be king when the war is over and therefore ensure their happy future together. She is, to Aegon, the perfect balance of strength and weakness.

What Angel gains from the relationship is someone who she actually admires and desires, but also someone who values her for who she really is. Aegon likes Angel regardless of who her family is and what her political affiliations might once have been; he does not care about heirs, bloodlines, prestige, obedience, or power. With Aegon, Angel knows that her own desires and feelings will always be first and foremost. That’s a rare thing to find in a Westerosi marriage.

Was there any contentment with her marriage to Cregan Stark?

I don’t feel that Angel ever found anything like happiness in the North. Several readers commented that they believed she was only existing with Cregan for the rest of her earthly days, not truly living, and I think that’s accurate. Cregan Stark never questions the narrative that he saved her from the immoral, violent, rapist Usurper, and in Winterfell Angel would have had to hear—from servants, from guards, from her husband, from her children once they were old enough to know the story—comments about how horrible Aegon was an how honorable Cregan was for ensuring his defeat and “rescuing” Angel. So her loss (and the fact that it’s this indescribably heavy secret she has to carry around with her) is a wound that is ripped open again and again and again. She can never develop a sense of fondness for Cregan, because she can never forget his hatred for and his role in killing the man she loved. She can never truly get joy from her children because they are just like Cregan: large, loud, rugged, dark-haired wolf pups who repeat the fictions they’ve always been told were truths. It’s a very hollow, soulless existence for Angel.

But of course the bright side is that because she remains alive and has some influence over Cregan’s political decisions: Angel is able to protect Jaehaera, Autumn, and other Greens after their faction’s defeat. She is also able to share the true legacy of the Greens with Jaehaera once Aegon’s daughter is older. Jaehaera otherwise wouldn’t really understand their true motivations, personalities, or gifts, nor the love they shared for each other; she was a child when most of the Greens died, and Autumn would not have felt comfortable sharing what little she knew at risk of endangering her ability to stay at court with Jaehaera. We can assume that Angel was eventually reunited with Aegon (and her other lost loved ones) in the afterlife, and so there is some happiness in the long run.

Angel definitely showed some magic in her Valyrian blood: we saw her dreams with Aemond, Helaena, and Daeron, but when Aegon told her, “If there’s anything interesting on the other side, I’ll find a way to let you know," was this what you were referring to at the end with, "…dreams that you never want to wake up from."

Yes! That is exactly what I was referencing, and I was thrilled that so many readers picked up on it. 🥰 It’s the closest we get to a “happily ever after” in this fic.

Celtigars are the black sheep of the Westerosi Valyrians. They’re glorified pirates as opposed to royalty or well-regarded merchants, and they aren’t nearly as magical at Targaryens or Velaryons. In the ASOIAF canon, there are no references to a Celtigar ever riding a dragon or joining the Targaryen bloodline. Angel was never going to be a dragonrider (she hates them!). But Angel does have some very subtle magical abilities that show up occasionally, and the dreams are one of them. After the events of WTWICD, for the rest of Angel’s life she is really only a shell of herself (not me making crab puns!), but dreams of Aegon give her comfort and remind her of the promise that she will see the people she loves again one day.

In Angel’s dreams, the ghosts appear in settings that they were attached to in life. Helaena was in the gardens with her insects, Aemond was in the rookery hard at work writing his letters, and Daeron (the closest thing this family has to a sunshine personality) was on a warm summer beach with Tessarion, exactly like he was the first day he ever met Angel. I feel that when Aegon appeared to Angel in her dreams, he was probably on Dragonstone, invoking memories of those idyllic first few months they got to spend alone together before Aemond started showing up (uninvited) and the battle with Baela and Moondancer.

In addition to the dreams, I think that Angel has some very slight clairvoyance. Even in the early chapters—and even as his burns are healing—she was always filled with this heavy dread regarding Aegon’s long-term health, and the threat of organ failure after repeated trauma is something that crosses her mind over and over again. She even mentions it to her brother Everett in Chapter 6. Part of her, I believe, always knew on some level that he wasn’t going to live to see a peaceful world.

Out of all your "Readers" so far, which one do you feel you relate to the most?

Out of all my readers, I think I personally relate the most to Appletini from North to the Future.

Our situations are different in a lot of ways (sadly, scruffy Juneau fisherman/rockstar Aegon is not real nor in love with me), but I think we share a) an innate fixation on responsibility and aversion to risk, and b) a sense that there is something more out there that we are always wrestling with. Do we take the leap, or do we stay where we are? Are we worthy of more? Are we doomed to relive the curses of prior generations? That sounds a little dark, probably, but I don’t mean for it to. Appletini gets a happy ending, after all!

Do you wish to share any possible new story that might be coming up?

At this point I have no comment whatsoever and nothing to announce. But I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas! 🎅🎄🎁😏