#its my brothers ex and his sister who is BATSHIT

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

feeling very spot conlon at this event

[c0rvidbones]

Out of all your OCs, who's your favorite and why?

>:D YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD OF A QUESTION THIS IS BUT IVE BEEN DYING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ABOUT MY OCS

GAH okay okay its a HUGE tossup between two of them and it doesn't help they are Brothers but I think I will have to say it's Umbra! Infodump that's super long and also art by my sick ass friend under the cut.

This is him! My feral bastard man, the one with the blue hair and pronouns! I realised while selecting these I literally do not own a single piece of art that is him by himself, he's basically glued to the hip of his husband, Penchant (written by my friend over at @/cherryfull, who also does draw all of this GORGEOUS art. The other person in the very last picture is his little brother, Axel)

Please know Umbra isn't small, Pen is just a fucking Giant of a man at a hearty 6'7"

[Quick info; he is a like 5'8-5'10 ish polynesian-french transman and a [very, Very fallen] angel of knowledge, and he struck a deal with the primordial Chaos to share and gain all the knowledge he possibly could in order to bolster his magic to an unreasonable level when he calls on it.]

He's a weird little man who I have been writing for like, 11?? Years now? He started out SO different, all warm and bright, passive and pastel/cottagecore, but through all of his batshit insane Events he's ended up this goth mildly aggressive edgelord (affectionate) who is mean for fun but is also still secretly helpful.

I think a huge part of him being my favourite, aside from him literally being my oldest, is that he has always been how I processed a lot of stressful things and got through unhappy times. I love calling his current era his "villain era" but it literally kicked off with him deciding to stop being a doormat of a boy and stand up for himself. Most of what he does is direct response to his own boundaries as he is STILL learning how to set them.

That said, he did once break someone's leg and dispose of them on said someone's ex boyfriend's doorstep with a boxed homemade cheesecake that said Happy Birthday on it; it was because those two were Yet Again pining for each other but were not doing Anything about it, and it was driving him nuts. He's still the village bastard because of this, and, even if it was a really convoluted plan to get those two back together, it wasn't exactly something a Normal and Sane man would do.

He also has a BLATANT disrespect for personal space with others most of the time, at least in terms of their homes. He has often and frequently, Uninvited, portalled into other people's homes. It has caused more than one fight, and once he agrees to not coming over unless he has asked permission or invited, he usually stops coming altogether because to him, it's no longer "fun."

I know, I know, you may be asking, why do you love this objectively terrible man, Observatory. Well, you see. I find him very funny. YES I know I write him but my very small rp group all agree sometimes the muse writes themselves and in the case of Umbra, he does so often and with wild abandon. He got jealous of a set of weights his husband put on his back and frisbee'd them into the wall so he could perch there like he usually does instead. He nearly threw a vampire off a yacht into a river because they were eyeing him a little too much. He regularly makes Nyquil Chicken and gives it to unsuspecting fools who, for some reason, keep forgetting he loves giving people Nyquil Chicken. Do you see why he's hilarious to me.

ALSO, while yes he is a terrible person with zero (well, One, but he's his sister-in-law's husband's brother so. Distant-ish family?) friends outside of direct family by marriage, if you DO manage to earn his loyalty, he is actually not just a Better person to you, but he is a Kind and Caring and VICIOUSLY protective person. He seeks out bountiful physical contact and often offers food and company, he will help you with everything in his power (which is a lot, because yeah, he has kinda ended up overwhelmingly overpowered because of RP events) when you need it. He doesn't like to use his healing magic anymore, it feels too much like an echo of the doormat boy he used to be, but if he cares, Actually cares about you, he will offer it, and it will mean the World.

Unfortunately because of how complex he's become over the years, he's nearly impossible to RP with new people because he has such Thick history and I, an autistic person and his creator, can't help myself and will talk about him nonstop whenever possible.

tl;dr He's an awful person but he makes me laugh and that's the most important thing.

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

So I bindged watched the entry of Metal Family (a Russian YouTube series) and its absolutely adorable. My favorite characters are Glam and Dee because obviously I'm always gunna go for either the goofy dad type with a tragic backstory and the sarcastic little smartass.

Anyway, I've been hearing around that Dee might have a girlfriend and as much as I like the idea of him having a cool laidback goth gf, I just can't picture it. He probably doesn't like to admit it but I think Dee and his dad have similar taste in women; ie badasses who are slightly batshit crazy.

Meet Sasha, they were put together as tutors for each other, she was failing math while he was failing art.

At first glance Sasha seems like a sweet, giggly, airhead with an affinity for tacky jewelry and thrift store clothes. Which is of course what Dee assumed when he offered his usual method of helping her cheat her way through her classes.

She smiled at him and called him: a pig-headed narcissistic asshole who couldn't smell the rancid shit coming out of his own mouth.

Yeah, turns out she isn't stupid just has really bad ADHD and needed someone to help her study math because her brain finds it too boring and therefore unimportant to focus on.

Their relationship is sort of similar to Glam and Ches when they first met; Sasha being a witty yet odd character while Dee struggles to makes sense of what the hell she's saying sometimes.

Because of her ADHD Sasha tends to switch out hobbies like socks; she especially likes activities that keep her hands occupied, such as knitting or origami. Dee has no idea how she can multy task so many things at once.

She is very forward and can be quite blunt when speaking her mind, though she tries her best to remain polite.

She is a big fan of grunge music and punk rock. Nirvana and Foo Fighters being her favorite.

She is the third oldest of six, so middle child syndrome all the way!

She's a bit of an anarchist and can often be found during the weekend tagging government property or big name brand store. Somehow she never seems to get caught.

Her parents are ex-punks so they aren't really surprised or disappointed with their daughter's antics so long as she doesn't get arrested. (More on her family later)

She knitted Dee a beanie during one of their study sessions, it was black with little cat ears. Now he wears it any time its even remotely breezy outside.

Heavy was the first to meet Sasha since they go to the same school. He couldn't understand how such a sweet girl could be friends with his asshole of a brother. She simply giggled and ruffled his hair, stating how Heavy remind her of her own younger siblings.

After that meeting people suddenly stopped bullying him. It was weird but Heavy wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth so he didn't question it. He did, however, wonder why Sasha had a baseball bat in her locker when she didn't even play the sport.

When Dee first invited Sasha over to hang out he made sure that his family would be out all day, because he knew that they would all make it their personal mission to embarrass him in front of her.

That plan backfired very quickly as they returned much earlier than expected and the two teens had been in the living room watching movies and cuddling.

Victoria adored her immediately, insisting she say over for dinner all the while making cheeky remarks at Dee to "make sure to keep her happy so she won't realize that she can do better."

Glam had meant to interrogate her, as he is secretly an over protective father at heart, but he was just so damn charmed by her he didn't have the nerve to do it. Instead he ended up showing her the boys' baby pictures (much to Dee and Heavy's protest).

Her and Ches vibed so well together, it was kind of weird and fascinating to observe. They later find out that Sasha is probably the only person out their that can beat both Glam and Ches in poker.

By the end of it Dee is red in the face with embarrassment and when he escorts her to the bus stop he apologizes if it was all a bit overwhelming. Sasha simply giggled, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek assuring him that she really likes his family and can't wait to come over again.

Of course Sasha was the first to confess because Dee still had no idea about his feelings. Thought it was less a confession and more of a statement as if it was something she assumed he already knew.

He didn't, obviously.

Sasha knew that Dee liked her back but she needed for HIM to come to that conclusion himself if they had any hope of starting a relationship. So she remained patient and waited for him to catch up.

Though this did NOT stop her from teasing and flirting with him just a little 😋

She really couldn't help it, Dee was way too cute when he got all flustered and shy (much like his mother in that regards).

So they aren't OFICIALLY dating but they are together, kind of like a trial run (according to Dee at least).

ABOUT HER FAMILY:

Her parents are high school sweethearts that used to ride around town with Victoria and her old crew.

Sasha's mom is a headstrong yet laid back woman that runs the local laundry mat, popular with bikers as it specializes in cleaning leather. Her father is this big, burly, stoic man that works in construction and doesn't tend to say much. They love each other and their children very much.

Sasha has an older sister and brother as well as three younger siblings, twin boys and a little sister. Her older sister is living in England while also going to college to study political science. Her older brother is on his last year of high school and works as a mechanic at a local bike shop. Her twin brothers are in middle school, just a year below Heavy, while her little sister is just starting the first grade.

When Sasha invites Dee over to her house to study he is greeted at the door by her father who looms over him, glaring daggers. Dee may have seen his life flash before his eyes for a just moment.

Thankfully, her mother was much nicer, inviting him in as she called Sasha downstairs. Her younger siblings were very rowdy, asking him questions about who he is and why he was here. Her older brother however, joined along side his father to glare holes into his head.

He was all too thankful when Sasha finally came downstairs to get him, announcing that they would be in her room studying until dinner. Her older brother shouted after them to "keep the door open" and Sasha gave a cheery reply of two middle fingers in his direction.

Dinner was awkward, at least for Dee, but it wasn't terrible. By the end of it, when they were hanging around the bus stop, Sasha (who insisted on seeing him off as he usual does) proudly said: "I think they like you."

"Oh really?" Dee said with a nervous chuckle, he wasn't quite sure but he trusted her judgment. 🖤🖤🖤

[theonlyblackcanary]

Poltergeist: Lonely Gun

Written with @thirst-n-bullshit

@baronsbelleevangeline @ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness @the-iridescent-phoenix @swifteforeverandalways @drspencerreidloveshalloween

"Day two of school, the gloves are off!" Becky jumped next to Finn as they walked into the courtyard. "I'm in honors classes, the gloves have been off" Finn rolled his eyes but put his arm around his sister, watching Raul kiss a blond girl and smile. "Yup, when Raul says study group, he means hanging out with his girlfriend who's in the study group" Joaquin grinned, as he, Finn, and Sonya sat down, Becky running off to meet with Bayley and another girl with blue hair.

"I know you said to stay away for a week but I can't" a girl with purple dip dyed hair said; sitting next to Sonya and kissing her. "I have to meet your new brother! I'm Paige, Sonya's girlfriend" Paige held out her hand, Finn shaking it. "Ugh, Seth" she growled when Seth and his disiples walked through, catching a brunette wearing glasses staring at Austin.

"I should tell Jake it's never gonna happen" Sonya deadpanned. "You have a problem with Rollins?" Finn asked. "He's my brother" Finn blinked with surprise. "What did he do to have you hate him"

"He treats our parents like shit, first of all. It's not like I don't understand that some shit went down with him and his ex but he went batshit fucking crazy" Paige ranted

"Not only did he and his lackeys beat this shit out of Drew and Dolph, Seth lit Drew's car on fucking fire" Sonya added

Finn paled. "He set his ex's car on fire?" "Yup, damn lucky his family didn't press charges but he changed that night. Next thing we know, he's dating Violet. I think she enabled it" Sonya muttered.

"And she said she'd keep me in her thoughts" "What?! Why didn't you tell me?!" "I've just started feeling okay around you guys, I wasn't going to say anything" "That's fair" Joaquin shrugged, the bell ringing.

Finn walked into his honor's history class surprised to see of all people Seth himself sitting in a middle row, thick black glasses perched on his nose.

"Everyone take a seat." Mr Bryan said sternly "Its project time"

-----

An hour later Finn walked out of class in a daze. Seth Rollins?! He was partnered with Seth on a project that was worth half his fucking grade for the semester, what was he going to do?

"Finn? You look like you're going to throw up" Sonya looked concerned as Raul sat him down. "He got paired with Rollins for our history group project assignment, the one that's worth half our grade"

"WHAT?!" Sonya yelled while Joaquin's jaw dropped. "Why me?" Finn groaned miserably. "Awww cheer up. Not everyone gets to work with me" The four all looked to see Seth standing there.

"What do you want?!" Sonya barked

"Hey, before you make assumptions...you guys know the one thing I don't fuck around with is my grades. College is my ticket away from most of you losers so it's not like I'm not going to do my part" Seth held his hands in front of him.

"As much as I hate to admit it...Rollins is right. He's a delinquent but he doesn't fuck around with his grades. He's on track to be valedictorian" Raul reluctantly admitted

"Listen, Balor I just want to get this done so I can ace history." He passed Finn a piece of paper. "Here's my number and address, come by my place tonight and we can get started"

Finn took it, fighting the urge to trash it as a girl with bubblegum pink hair jumped on Seth's back, blew a raspberry, and laughing as Seth walked off with her clinging to him.

"Liv Morgan. Our resident Harley Quinn, she's pretty crazy and dating Seth's other sister Ruby" Sonya explained

"Is everyone he hangs out with crazy?" Finn asked seriously

"Yes." the other three said in unison

------

"Hi Livvy" Seth reached back and balanced the girl on his back

"Why ya talking to the loser brigade, Sethie" Liv asked poking him with a wrapped blue lollipop

"Project" he huffed "Hope Balor isn't a complete idiot. I don't really wanna do this fucking thing all by myself l"

Liv placed her head on his shoulder. "Do ya want me to sic Sarah on him?" "...Not yet" Seth laughed, dropping Liv off at her Biology class and watching as she joined her twin Jamie at their table.

"Want to bail?" Violet asked joining him in the hallway. "Can't though I have news. Guess who got paired with Balor for a honors history project?

"That's...interesting" Violet said with a thoughtful look

"I feel like you have a plan I'm not aware of when it comes to Balor" Seth tapped his girlfriend's nose

"He's not bad looking, I will admit" Violet wrapped her arms around Seth's waist as they walked toward her locker

"Queenie, please" Seth rolled his eyes "I'm not blind, I can see that. But what has that got to do with us?"

"I know you, how you look at him when you think we're not watching...it's how you used to look at Drew" Violet muttered, fixing her black lipstick. Seth's brain stopped working for a minute. "Is it that bad?"

Violet giggled. "Your bisexuality is pretty obvious sometimes but that's ok" She kissed him. "Besides, you haven't looked at another boy like that since we set Drew's car on fire"

"I will admit I find Balor attractive, who the fuck wouldn't. But I'm with you now" Seth kissed her forehead "I wouldn't ever..."

"I know that, mon petit chaton" Violet interrupted him "But that doesn't mean we couldn't both..." she trails off

"Drew didn't understand. What makes you think Balor will?" Seth asked, wary of putting himself out there again. He didn't have to be poly. Violet was enough for him.

"I have a feeling" Violet smiled. "But I won't force you" she carassed his cheek, relaxing him. The two heard fighting coming from the end of the hall. "What's happening?" Violet stopped her friend Shotzi.

"Almas started a fight" The green haired girl explained. Violet and Seth looked at each other and said in unison. "Austin"

Seth bolted down the hallway toward the gym after Shotzi told him where they were. When he got there he saw Austin and Almas pushing and shoving each other with Murphy trying to pull Austin back

"Not here at school, man. Its not worth it man, it's not, you know its not" Everyone present could hear Murphy trying to talk his friend down.

"He just doesn't want everyone to know the truth." Almas yelled

"Back off!" Seth yelled back, Almas grabbing at his jaw. "Little bitch is too much of a coward" Austin growled and tried to get out of Murphy's grasp. "What's going on?" Finn walked up. "Stay out of it new kid" Almas snapped. "No, I don't think I will" Finn shrugged. "Stay out of it or you'll be next"

There was a pause before Finn punched Almas in the face.

"What's going on in here?" A southern accented voice yelled

"Nothing, Coach Styles" Finn immediately said "Almas just had a little accident" he continued, using his natural charm to defuse the situation

"Come on, let's go" Andrade's friende Zelina and Angel grabbed him and got him out of there before the coach could realize he'd started the confrontation

"Get to class, all of you"

Murphy dragged Austin away to calm him down, while Violet grinned at Finn. "Nice job Irish" Murphy said over his shoulder, Finn noticing Austin's hand briefly brushing against Jake Atlas'.

"Maybe you aren't completely lame" Seth raised an eyebrow. "I've been in my fair amount of fights" Finn shrugged.

"Obviously, Almas didn't see that coming" Seth grinned, the bright smile catching Finn off guard, it was so different from the sarcastic smirk or angry scowl he'd seen previously gracing the other boy's handsome features

"Shit I gotta get to math" Finn scooped up his backpack

"With Miss James?"

Finn nodded at Seth's question

"Come on, I have her now too, she's one of the few teachers in this hellhole I can stand, she's real cool" Seth told him as the two boys headed to their honors math class Seth pulling out his phone to text Violet

Mon Chaton: Alright Queenie, Maybe Irish isn't that bad.

Queenie: Should I say I told you so now or later

[stillwooozy]

well my mom is having heart surgery, or idk a stent put in her heart - isnt that heart survery? Anyways shes getting better so thats good.

Ive been playing chess w/ my dad but my 10 yr old brother can beat us both so my dad isnt pissed at me anymore. He lost to my brother so he yelled at HIM for “having an attitude” and i felt bad. sore loser much? I’m competitive as hell, but only for things i know im objectively good at. He admits he isnt good at chess. I’m kinda surprised cuz ngl my dad is smart and my 10 yr old brother is..... 10. But i guess my dads intellect manifests as writing ability and my brother is advanced in math sooo... maybe chess = math? Idk. They are still forced to quaratine cuz they have covid, i doubt i’ll get it but i’ll get tested when they do again. My dogs are going crazy cuz i cant take them to the park.

My mom will come home in a few days. I’m actually excited/relieved. Usually i dread seeing her cuz she always finds something to critize me about but now im just happy she isnt dead. Haha hashtag-compassion. Shes on a bunch of drugs but shes off a venilator and sounds okay. she tested negative for covid so shes done with that im pretty sure. Shes getting a stent put in. I tried to talk to a doctor cuz she was being vague but he wouldnt tell me anything and im like :/ i get it but... i wish they would make my life easier, im the last person who should act as a husband/parent figure but here i am. My dad is pissing me off - if he cant control a situation he gets angry & ignores it. Straight up. I WISH i could do that but i have a guilty complex instilled by my very own mother.

One of my brothers i watching attack on titan so thats pretty interesting. he’s 12 and i was like... um isnt that too young? But i was 13 when i watched it so i guess not

My mom told me if i picked up her meds after i pick her up from the hospital she’ll give me half her painkillers and was like “but dont OD”. I mean im not going to turn them down. Me - turning down tramadol? What reality would that be. she’s a weird woman. I feel bad for her, she blames everyone else for her problems including me but ik she loves me. even if she hates part of me at the same time. A part of me is convinced that ill die by drugs if i never manage to kick the habit but i’d also feel really bad knowing she’d blame herself. I mean its almost comedic how dysfunctional my family is. She goes full Karen begging for opioids, then gives her mentally ill son half the pills as a reward. hey - positive reinforcement i guess? Good for her. Dont hit ur kids - just give them drugs when they are being a good little boy.

I think i’ll watch AoT w/ my brother. Hes the sibling i probably ignore most. him and my 10 yr old brother. I like my 6 yr old brother and my 19 yr old sister. I mean i love all my siblings but come on..... 9-15 yr old boys are batshit. i say this from personal experience.

I asked him if he liked Eren x Mikasa cuz idk. Isnt that what most basic shonen preteen boys are into? I forced myself to read eremika hentai when i was about his age. He’s a nice jewish boy too, so 50/50 chance he has an east asian fetish. You want to know his reply??? “No I don’t see anyone as a couple they all seem gay to me - no offense”. None taken brother ... i have to agree

i was flirting w/ 2 girls on tinder - no worries im not going to spread covid i promise - and i’ve come to the realization that....... why do most “alt” girls SAY they want a bi boy to “peg” but...... get uncomfortable when that bi twink actually gets fucked by men. like what??????? they just want a boy who wears flowery blouses and eyeshadow. sorry hun i’m not that person. I look like mac demarco if he was a twink in the worst way possible. I hate this trend cuz its insincere or maybe im just self concious cuz im gross. its just....... u cant ask for a bi bf...... but not really want them to ever have fucked a man????????? Grindr is disgusting but damn tinder girls are judgemental. I look like david dobrick if he was gay & mentally ill - what do u expect of me? I just miss my ex. She was unusal and im just fully appreciating that. She was the only person (beside my ex who pulled a lil peep before it was cool) who matched my type of crazy. Unfortunately 2 crazy ppl can’t last long.

To clarify i dont tell ppl, i never will, that she was “my crazy gf” or “crazy ex”. I dont mean it as a fully bad thing - i mean im the one on antipsychs (she was on lithium.. what a romance amiright). I miss her so badly. I think about texting or calling her everyday. Honestly idk if she would answer. Maybe she has moved on. We both have a minimal (public) social media presence so i cant stalk her online. she just posts memes & social justice stuff on her sc. she didnt block me from any platform. I pretend she found this blog and can stalk me & i hope she feels bad for me - pathetic right? It wasnt even a bad breakup. We were never on the “same page”, not that type of couple or chemistry, but we enjoyed being together and i miss that cuz atm i have no one but my mentally ill family. jk my siblings are surprisingly sane. I mean the younger ones have time.

[imaginegladions]

Since you just did a Frozen AU, how about a Tangled AU? Obviously, Lusamine would be Gothel, and Lillie would be Rapunzel, but where would that leave Gladion?

So, I was looking around the net for an ENG SUB watch free for the new Free! Timeless Medley ~Bonds~ movie. I was waiting since last last month for it but there’s still no Eng Sub, which I get. I waited 2 months until the Aikatsu Stars movie got an Eng Sub. But still, I kept looking. And found. A downloadable version with Indo Sub. :|

Anyway, this ask cheered me up a bit. My dad told me that if I was any Disney Princess, I’d be Rapunzel. IDK what he means we are not alike. He loves this movie though.

TANGLED AU WITH A TWIST HEADCANONS:

As per canon, Lillie is part of the royal family of Aether and so is Gladion. Queen Lusamine oversees most of the politics though while Mohn tends to plants and makes cheap medicine and watches over the needy making sure there’s not too much tax and stuff. 

Bless him.

Let’s say Lusamine was with child when Mohn discovered the magic glowing flower.

It was actually a part of his medicinal garden, it just popped up there one day. 

He wanted to study it so of course he pulls it out of the ground to harvest it.

But, unlike pretty movie flower this flower has poisonous!!! thorns!!!

Of course, this kills Mohn.

I’m so sorry Mohn. But you didn’t die in the Frozen AU.

And Lusamine becomes absolutely batshit and tries almost kills Lillie and herself from the pain because she doesn’t want to live anymore.

But lil Gladion, being the sweetheart he is, manages to separate the flower from the nasty thorny stem and create a medicine that would help Lusamine give birth easier.

He also doses her with anaesthetic on the sly so the delivery is silent.

And fortunately, Lusamine sleeps long enough to get Lillie delivered safely by the chambermaids.

Lusamine however does not take kindly to being drugged by her son so she packs to leave under cover of night completely determined to live out her days alone in a boat house she recovered some years ago.

She however is still pretty hurt from labor and stumbles as she’s pacing and her leg starts bleeding.

Tiny baby Lillie hears her mummy in distress and grabs one of Lusamine’s long hair strands and hums/babbles until the wound is healed.

Big Mistake because now mumsie has pLANS FOR YOU.

Lillie - as per canon - ends up living with nutso mummy Lusamine in a boat house off the shore of the Kingdom of Alola in an underwater cave.

Too bad magical healing powers can’t heal trauma.

Anyway, this is where reader comes in.

Reader is a…

COMMONER ROUTE:

… commoner who deep sea dives to make a living.

You pretty much go down there to catch fish or collect valuable rocks.

Mostly though, you sell Pyukkumuku.

(Sea Cucumbers, yes kids do that where I’m from, collect and sell Sea Cucumbers to survive.)

You also explore caves hoping to find treasure to sell so you can go to the Capitol where you hear Prince Gladion is kind enough to take in street people and give them nicer jobs!

What you don’t expect however is to find a secret boat house in an underwater cave.

Thankfully, you watch a little confused as Lusamine leaves the cave to get food, and are not confronted with any angry ex-Queens.

But, as you’re searching for treasure you hear Lillie singing about wanting to get tf out of this boathouse and live her life.

“Your voice is pretty!”

“Than-OH MY GOD! A MONSTER!”

Aw, Lils don’t hurt my feelings.

Oops. You forgot that deep sea diving usually made it so that you’re covered in all sorts of gunk.

Lillie tells you all about her story and you’re kinda liiiiike…

“Sorry, Lils. But, I think your mother might have turned psycho on you no offence.”

“Huh?”

“Um, she needs medical care. Don’t worry, Prince Gladion has medical services open to all at the palace!”

And that’s how you and Lillie traverse Alola doing odds and end jobs until you reach the castle all the while leading Lusamine who is chasing you towards free medical treatment.

In that time, Lillie reads lots of books and you do a lot of fighting.

By the time you get to the castle, you’re an excellent street fighter and Lillie is intelligent AF enough to figure out a way to cut her hair and make medicine from its magical properties.

And when Gladion sees his sister running into the castle with Lusamine on her heels!!!

“It’s good to have you back.”

“Who? ME? Do we know each other?”

“I’m your brother… you’re… the Princess of Alola?”

“Who? ME???”

Gladion is v thankful that you brought his family home safely ah he lost so many guards trying to recover them. D:

And in thanks he offers you a job as Lillie’s personal guard.

You kick all the other guards’ butts though, so eventually you become the Captain of the Royal Guard with your right hand guy, Hau.

One evening, there is a Ball (one of many) to choose who Gladion will be marrying.

Lillie feels super bad for her brother and hates that he has to do it for politics.

But then, he sees you and Gladion chatting amicably and DING DING DING IDEA!

She decides to get you guys to fall in love before the last ball to decide Gladion’s future wife.

Lillie has her work cut out for her though since you both have crushes the size of Jupiter on each other.

On the last day of the ball, Gladion manages to insult some monarch by not asking her daughter to dance with him and said monarch pays for someone to kill Gladion.

Woah that became v Game of Thrones, lol

You saw the assassin, though.

AND YOU DIVE IN THE PATH OF THE POISONOUS KNIFE.

GLADION IS FURIOUS, RIP THAT ASSASSIN.

They think you’re a goner, it even feels like your heart stopped but then you end up miraculously alright!

“That poison… it’s-”

“Pyukkumuku poison!!! I’m immune to that!”

You become Gladion’s First Knight and Consort to the Throne.

ROYALTY ROUTE:

… royal ambassador to Alola from Kanto.

Technically, you’re one of the kids of the King and Queen.

You have so many siblings though so it’s not like you’re in charge of much. 

Just, relations with other countries.

You find interacting with other regions so fun though! And you’re often lost by the crew off adventuring somewhere in the region.

This is how you fall off of your ship and end up swimming into the secret cave where the boat house is located.

And boyyyy is Lusamine pissed to find you washed up here.

She basically yells at you loud enough to bring Lillie out of hiding.

Your gasp is loud af because you know her.

“Lillie! Oh my gosh! You’re okay! Gladion was so worried!”

“… uh- what?”

Lusamine is positively scandalised but she knows exactly who you are now and she’s not letting you take her or Lillie back to that house of horror!

“I’m afraid you’re not well right now, your Highness.”

You snap your fingers and Lusamine is taken away by your trusty guard Hau who arrived just in time to take the loony back to Gladion.

Before you arrive at the castle, you tell Lillie all about what really happened and you teach her about monarchy and being a royal.

She’s just so excited to try new things it’s rather invigorating!

So you both try commoner things together too.

You dress her up in some Fine Clothes before she formally meets her brother though.

At first, she’s very shy and intimidated but when Gladion spots you and smiles she knows he’s a good guy.

She also knows he’s suPER INTO YOU AHAHAHAHA.

She asks Gladion about it one night, demanding that he tell his lil sis all she missed out on.

Turns out, Gladion and you have met a lot of times, you being the ambassador of Kanto. You also played together with him as kids.

If he could choose, he’d want to marry you.

Lillie is super touched by this. ;-;

She goes to ask you about you and Gladion and surprise surprise! You’ve always liked him too! But you thought it wasn’t a wise match since you weren’t inheriting the throne in your own country.

You and Gladion spend lots of time together, in politics lessons and meetings and balls.

Lillie tries so hard to get you two to interact and it usually pays off.

But one day, your parents send you a letter telling you to come back imMEDIATELY.

Gladion and Lillie notice you’re so down nowadays and ask you what’s wrong.

“I’m… getting married.”

*insert that Robin gif from Betrothed here*

Gladion is too shocked to stop you from leaving.

All he and Lillie can do is watch you get back on your ship back to Kanto.

“That’s it? You’re giving up?”

“…. hell no.”

Gladion speeds onto his own royal ship to crash your royal wedding to some kid from Sinnoh!

Kid from Sinnoh is not happy about some guy crashing his wedding though so he and Gladion get into a sword fight where Gladion is mortally wounded.

You call off the wedding and rush to Gladion’s side with Lillie.

Lillie wraps her magic hair around the wound and you both sing desperately, watching him be mended back together.

You grab that boy and kiss him in relief.

And then he takes you back to Alola to get married!!!

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Actually I Quite Liked It

by Wardog

Thursday, 10 September 2009

Wardog has *also* been reading Sarah Rees Brennan's The Demon's Lexicon...~

I guess I have some kind of semi, self-destructive obsession with books written by ex-members of the Harry Potter fandom, and I’m wondering whether I need to get treatment for it. Although I think a healthier way of looking at it may be that I’m still desperately seeking an antidote to

Cassandra Clare

. Today’s victim is The Demon’s Lexicon, written by Sarah Rees Brennan. As usual, I am vaguely aware of The Name, but from what little I have read of her on the internet, I’ve had her pegged in my head as “basically the narrator from I Capture the Castle.” The problem with extremely charming people is that they always bring out the worst in me. It’s partially jealousy, I'm sure, but it tends to result in me getting up some kind private, psychological “We Shall Not Be Charmed” protest on the sidelines of their life. I mention this in the spirit of full disclosure because I went into The Demon’s Lexicon all wrong, not wanting to like it. And I came out of it really bloody impressed.

Sarah Rees Brennan: 1

Kyra: 0

The plot of The Demon’s Lexicon is actually pretty complicated, and I shall try to shade in the important bits without giving away the cool twists of which they are, well, one but it’s a goodun. Nick and Alan have spent their life on the run because their mother was once in love with a powerful magician called Black Arthur (

hee hee

). Needless to say, powerful magicians do not take it well you leave them, taking with you a powerful magical item, so he drove his lover mad and has been in hot pursuit ever since. Their mother fled to her ex, a good, normal kind of guy who took her in and protected her … and, of course, died in the process, leaving Nick and Alan to grow up as best they could, fighting for survival and dealing with their genuinely very batshit mum. In Brennan’s setting, magicians are humans who, discovering they have some fragments of magical power, feed other humans to demons for more power. Demons hang out on the edges of the world, desperate for a human host (which is not so great actually for the human in question, since it inevitably leads to a speedy, unpleasant death).

The plot of the book kicks off when a brother and sister, Mae and Jamie, come to Nick and Alan for help because Jamie (who is a gay, because it is impossible for anybody who has ever had any connection with fandom ever not to include a gay in their books) has been marked by a demon. While they’re trying to, semi-reluctantly, deal with this, Alan is also marked by a demon and things spiral in an exciting direction from there.

The book is narrated entirely from Nick’s POV and, ye gods, what a difficult POV it is. He’s cold, ruthless, unemotional, hostile and extremely unlikeable. His dominant mood seems to be anger, and although you can understand it, given the sort of life he’s forced to lead, it’s still intensely wearing. Ultimately you have to respect Brennan’s commitment to her thoroughly grim protagonist. I’m slightly bewildered by all the fangirly reviews which comprise, in the main, breathless declarations of adoration for Nick, and endless squees about how much they’d like to give him a hug. I do wonder if we were reading the same book because I’d walk the other way, very quickly indeed, maybe even run. Of course, I’m in the wrong age and sanity bracket (although given a choice I’d be all about Mae, thanks so very much) to properly appreciate two hot sixteen year old brothers. By the end of the book, you do get more insight into Nick’s character, and why he is the way he is, which helps, but he’s never going to be a basket of kittens. (Also, seriously, if this is the kind of guy you’re into, see the school counsellor, immediately young ladies!).

Brennan handles him very well indeed, keeping him right there on the verge of being unbearable and, when he finally crosses over it, contextualising his thoughts and actions just enough that you keep reading, hoping against hope that he’ll maybe snap out of it and do the right thing. Even though we only ever gets Nick’s, very limited, often bewildered perspective on events and characters, Brennan still manages to paint detailed, convincing portraits of the supporting cast. I think it’s quite a remarkably deft technique: communicating emotions through a protagonist who does not himself understand them. The most important dynamic in the book is that between the brothers, Alan and Nick. It’s banter heavy served on a bed of freshly tossed angst, garnished by a light sprinkling of brotherly love, evoking the early day of Supernatural (before it degenerated into endless repetitions of “I love you Sammy! *manly sob*”) At first Alan seems the opposite of Nick in every respect – he is as kind as Nick is harsh, as sociable as Nick is misanthropic – but as the book unfolds the interest lies in marking their similarities rather than their differences. Although he is easily “nicer” than Nick, in his way Alan is just as cold and just as ruthless. Jamie is Harmless Homosexual #32, sensitive and anxious, hiding his pain and fear beneath a façade of humour:

“So-where’s your dad?” Nick slammed the fridge door. “He died.” “Oh.” Now Jamie had the look of a deer caught in the headlights, who for some reason was feeling really sad for the car. “Oh I’m so sorry.” “Why?” Nick snapped, opening cupboards just so he could bang them closed and express his fury at people who did not know when to shut up. “You didn’t know him. Why should you care?” “Um. Empathy? Jamie suggested.

All right, so he’s kind of adorable. I don’t know if Brennan is trying to accommodate slashers but he clearly fancies Nick in an “I will never be allowed to get any ever” kind of way. Still, at least he isn’t purple and sparkly like Mangus Bane. Thank God. Although, seriously, let the kid get out of lavender shirts. Not all gay men are fabulous, okay?

Mae, on the other hand, I really did like. As the only woman in the novel, except Batshit!Mum, she’s bearing a heavy responsibility not to be awful. She’s starts off as quite stereotypical heroine material (pink-haired and feisty) but thankfully she soon emerges as a strong, determined and capable human being in her own right. For someone cast in an alien and hostile world, she does damn well. She is neither perfect nor superspecial, she’s occasionally vulnerable, and she makes mistakes. But she’s also rock-solid. I loved the fact she's sensible and confident and as committed to Jamie, in her way, as Alan and Nick are committed to each other. As the only chance anyone has of getting laid without turning gay, she is, needless to say, the epicentre of the book’s sexual tension. On the other hand she actually manages to navigate it gracefully:

He reached out with lazy intent to touch her hair, and she grabbed his wrist an instant before he touched her. “Think a lot of yourself, don’t you?” Nick blinked. “I thought-“ “You think you can use me as a way to punish Alan,” said Mae. “I noticed.” “That wouldn’t be the only reason,” Nick told her, leaning against the willow by her side. The bark was rough against his bare skin. “Oh no?” asked Mae. “What’s the other reason?” Nick smiled a small smile that someone watching them would not have been able to see. It touched his lips and lingered for a moment, private and promising. “Might be fun.” “I don’t think so,” said Mae. She stepped away from him. Her eyes were narrowed. “I’m not stupid,” she said. “I’m attracted to you, I could be attracted to Alan but what does it matter? I’ve been attracted to people before. I’m not looking to settle down, and I’m not territory to be fought over in your little war. I won’t let myself be used and I won’t let whatever crisis you’re having hurt my brother’s chance to live.”

Go Mae! I like reading about pretty, angsty boys having angst and being pretty as much as the next girl but I’m increasingly impatient with novels with next to no female characters in them. Brennan seems at least as interested in Mae as she is in the rest of her cast. The focus on Nick and Alan’s unravelling family life means that she was slightly under-used but I am entirely hopeful more of Mae’s awesomeness in future books.

Despite trotting along at a reasonable pace, The Demon’s Lexicon not the most action-packed novel. There are some exciting moments but its main developments and revelations are firmly anchored in the characters. Basically, if you like Alan, Nick, Mae and Jamie, you’ll like The Demon’s Lexicon, otherwise there’s nothing much to draw you. I will say this though: Brennan can really write an ending. Probably because I went in with relatively low expectations, the misdirection fairy led me a merry dance and then my TINY MIND WAS BLOWN.

Brennan has quite a spare, dialogue-reliant style, but it works well for the novel, despite being occasionally a trifle cliched, especially since Nick isn’t exactly the verbose and flowery type. Also throughout the novel the juxtaposition of the banal with the weird and outlandish works very well – for example, the book opens with Nick trying to a fix a leak in the sink because he keeps his favourite sword under there. I rather appreciated Gerald the magician as well. You’d think it would be hard to be even remotely scared of a person called Gerald but he actually becomes quite threatening, almost precisely because of how ‘normal’ he seems.

The magician had a shock of sandy hair, standing up on his head and then falling into his eyes like the petals on a rather floppy daffodil, and beneath the sandy mop he had a narrow, inquisitive face…. He opened wide grey eyes, blinked and looked dismayed. “Oh Lord,” said the magician. “Now I am in the soup.”

The Demon’s Lexicon is surprisingly dark story, despite all the witty wisecracking and sexual tension. The world Nick and Alan inhabit is a genuinely nasty place. I liked the stark morality of it as well. Although demons are complex creatures with complex needs, magicians are human beings who feed other human beings to demons. They are, without a shadow of a doubt, just plain bad. I’m not sure to what extent this is meant to excuse or simplify the fact that both Alan and Nick are killers are in their own right but I think it allows Brennan to have a pair of protagonists who are willing, and forced, to do some extreme things to protect themselves, without turning them into monsters or insisting that they’re saints. (I’m vaguely reminded of that wonderful Harry Potter video which, sadly, I can’t remember anything about bar the content – it’s basically clip after clip after clip of Harry attacking people with his wand, after which Dumbledore explains very gently that his gift is “love, Harry.”)

Occasionally, however, it doesn’t quite work. We learn that the only way to remove a demon mark is to kill a magician and paint over the mark in their blood. About halfway through they do actually succeed in catching a magician. We are told that Nick and Alan have killed magicians before but nevertheless the plot seems to demand they dance around this one like a pair of utter pansies, allowing him to escape. Of course, there’s a fair degree to dither over – both Alan and Jamie have marks that need removal and there’s a general feeling that Gerald might have some information that would be useful. But, although Brennan insists that Nick has not problem with killing and/or torturing Gerald, they fail to prioritise either in a really troublesome way. I’m not saying that I wanted to watch Nick torture a magician – I’m not sure if that might not have put him morally a little too far out of the grey and into the just plain wrong – but I wish Brennan could have brought this scene to its natural conclusion in a slightly more convincing way, instead of suddenly having a group of people who are nothing if not competent turn inept for no apparent reason.

The Demon’s Lexicon is an extremely competent debut novel, that handles its complicated plot and its complex characters and it’s difficult point of view very maturely indeed. You can tell that it’s a first novel, and there is a touch of fanservice about it here and there, but I really enjoyed reading it. I could have done with a touch more action and a touch less angst, a touch more Mae and a touch less brotherly love, and just a tinsy winsy let up on the wisecracking but I’m definitely interested to see where Brennan will take it.

Themes:

Books

,

Sci-fi / Fantasy

,

Young Adult / Children

~

bookmark this with - facebook - delicious - digg - stumbleupon - reddit

~Comments (

go to latest

)

Arthur B

at 13:19 on 2009-09-10

Nick and Alan have spent their life on the run because their mother was once in love with a powerful magician called Black Arthur (hee hee).

THAT'S RACIST D:

permalink

-

go to top

Sister Magpie

at 19:23 on 2009-09-10I enjoyed this very much too. And as I understand it, the second book is from Mae's pov.

permalink

-

go to top

Wardog

at 20:39 on 2009-09-10Is it really? WEEEEEE!

That makes me really happy.

permalink

-

go to top

http://roisindubh211.livejournal.com/

at 20:22 on 2009-09-13I liked Nick. Not in a "oh I want to hug him and then take his clothes off" kind of way, but in a "I can appreciate a ruthless bastard" kind of way. If your life depends on you killing people before they get to you and your family, angst only gets in the way and makes you stupid at plot convenient moments.

I like Nick a lot better than Alan, actually- since he doesn't really feel anything, and only cares about Alan's life, you always know exactly where he's coming from. Alan can be loving, kind, worried, etc., but he's also a ruthless bastard who can lie and manipulate for whatever ends he serves, good or bad. I can see Alan turning evil a lot sooner than Nick, mostly because he has to compartmentalize, "ok, this is bad, but it prevents this which is worse" or whatever, while Nick is all "I like killing magicians. I like killing anyone who looks at my brother funny. And anyone who suggests that's wrong is really stupid." (Maybe I see a little too much of myself in Nick; I can be plenty compassionate and empathetic, but I totally retreat into hardshelled thing in upsetting situations)

Also, I think a lot of the dithering over killing a magician was a combination of

1. they needed to kill two of them without getting caught themselves; usually they move on after one

2. I'm pretty sure the magician had to be not dead but dying for the blood to work (that's the impression I got at that scene, anyway). I'm not sure Nick is good at the "attack without obliterating" bit.

permalink

-

go to top

Robinson L

at 00:02 on 2009-09-15Mae does sound pretty cool, and the attitude toward human relationships displayed in that excerpt is a lot more mature than most of the stuff I've read. Still don't know if I'm interested enough to read the book though, especially after seeing

Viorica's reaction

.

(I’m vaguely reminded of that wonderful Harry Potter video which, sadly, I can’t remember anything about bar the content – it’s basically clip after clip after clip of Harry attacking people with his wand, after which Dumbledore explains very gently that his gift is “love, Harry.”)

Would that be

this one

?

permalink

-

go to top

Viorica

at 02:06 on 2009-09-15Man, I love ThatGuyWithTheGlasses. He always manages to highlight exactly what's wrong with what he's criticising.

I guess my biggest problem with the book is that it has nothing new to offer. Usually I tend to enjoy stuff that has some kind of new take on things, but this book just seemed to be a rehash of stuff I'd seen before. The close

Supernatural

parallels were just the icing on the unoriginality cake; when I realized that I could categorize each character after they'd had less than ten lines, I knew that I wasn't going to be entertained.

permalink

-

go to top

Wardog

at 12:40 on 2009-09-15That's the one, I knew somebody would be able to find teh clip again for me! Ah, it's a little piece of sublime brilliance. I love it.

I like Nick a lot better than Alan, actually- since he doesn't really feel anything, and only cares about Alan's life, you always know exactly where he's coming from.

Actually that's precisely the reason I prefer Alan. I like the fact that his ruthlessness and his capacity for manipulation lie alongside gentleness and sociability and a very human need to love and be loved. I think it makes him more interesting, since we know precisely *why* Nick is as ruthless as he is.

Also, I get what you're saying about the magician-dither but I just felt that the scene was not as well handled as it could have been.

I guess my biggest problem with the book is that it has nothing new to offer.

I can see why you didn't like but truthfully I think originality is over-rated. I know that's a horribly glib thing to say (must be chanelling Dan) but actually you tend to know what you're getting with teenage urban fantasy and it's well executed that tends to be good enough for me. Also I think Brennan works well with her relatively unoriginal concepts - I mean, yes, Mae starts off like Wild-Child-By-Numbers but she very soon becomes a genuinely admirable person, I think. Also I think Brennan handles and portrays Nick extremely well - that, in itself, raises the book from the mire of mediocrity.

I'm not arguing with you, I think it's going to be one of those "agree to differ" situations, especially because I can see where all your criticisms spring from but I do think Brennan has more to offer than you give her credit for.

Also, Arkan, you should give a go - it's a fun read and genuinely well-done =P Don't like Viorica here put you off :)

permalink

-

go to top

Robinson L

at 22:36 on 2009-09-16Happy to oblige.

I can see why you didn't like but truthfully I think originality is over-rated. I know that's a horribly glib thing to say (must be channeling Dan) but actually you tend to know what you're getting with teenage urban fantasy and it's well executed that tends to be good enough for me.

I agree;

the unoriginal and familiar can also be enjoyable when well-executed

.

I also know next to nothing about

Supernatural

, which probably helps. The main problem is that I'm chronically behind on my reading (slow reader endless supply of stuff to read), so I have to pick and choose the stuff which really excites me, or which I'm already into.

permalink

-

go to top

http://roisindubh211.livejournal.com/

at 02:26 on 2009-09-17I think what I meant to say about Alan is that I found him *creepy* and kind of too good to be true at first. I kept getting brought up short by reminders that, despite the charisma, he is a dangerous dangerous dude. I kept thinking, "So what else are you hiding" and "why should Jamie and Mae trust you any more than your brother?"

permalink

-

go to top

Robinson L

at 22:30 on 2009-11-03Thanks for pushing me to read this. I really enjoyed it. (Hate to say it, but I'm 90 pages into

Corbenic

and not enjoying it half as much.)

I would actually argue there are

two

closely related twists, the first of which Viorica spoiled, but the second of which caught me completely off-guard and blew my mind as well.

To my mind, it explains Gerald's escape as well, as killing him would've ruined the plan. Nick didn't know that, but he wasn't really in charge now, was he?

I see what roisindubh211 means about finding Alan creepy. In the first few pages, we learn that although he's extremely personable, he's also, very,

very

good at manipulating people. I doubted Rees Brennan would go that route, but it struck me as a good description of Anti-Social Personality Disorder (more common label: sociopath) ...

I didn't hate Nick, although he did get awfully irksome when he started hating on Alan, too.

Y'know, I find I have an awful lot to say about this book. Do you suppose it'd been unsporting if I submitted my own review, even though you and Viorica have already covered this territory?

permalink

-

go to top

Wardog

at 10:29 on 2009-11-04I'm a bit embarrassed after my gushy reviews that you don't like Catherine Fisher - however, I'm putting it down to your lack of taste ;) To be fair, I don't think she's a very 'modern' style writer - she reminds me of Alan Garner, and Susan Cooper and other such writers who dominated my childhood reading experience (and scared me shitless).

All the same, glad you enjoyed this - and, yes, do feel free to write your own review - can't have too many opinions etc. etc.

I don't think Alan came close to a sociopathetic borderline for me but I think his skill at manipulating others is important to reminding us that the brothers are more alike than they are different ... and that humans have as much capacity to use and abuse other humans as demons do (cf the magicians).

Looking forward to MOAR! :)

permalink

-

go to top

Robinson L

at 15:30 on 2009-11-04I wouldn't say I

dislike

Catherine Fisher (I've been contemplating the distinction between

not liking

and

disliking

since long before

Jamie said his piece

.)

Actually, Susan Cooper is a good example. Like Catherine Fisher, I enjoy her stories (

The Dark is Rising

series, anyway) but can never seem to get properly immersed in them. I guess come to most stories prepared to enjoy them in an abstract way on merit, but a really engaging story needs to hook me in emotionally.

The Demon's Lexicon

pulled that off pretty much from the word go, but

The Dark is Rising

and - so far -

Corbenic

never seemed to manage it.

and, yes, do feel free to write your own review - can't have too many opinions etc. etc.

Expect me to get back to you in ... oh, about three months or so.

The idea of Alan as a sociopath came to me very early, in their first meeting with Mae and Jamie. I think it came around the time I read this paragraph:

It was a testament to Alan's powers of persuasion that they did not laugh in his face. It was a testament to Alan's powers of looking nonthreatening that he could manage it with the door open on their destroyed kitchen, with a corpse on the floor. He rumpled his red hair and adjusted his glasses in an anxious sort of way, and he took a couple of steps back to the kitchen. He let them see the limp: He used that, the same way he used everything.

Okay, in the wrong hands, that kind of charisma can be

seriously

dangerous. Of course, we soon learn - just as I'd expected - that unlike persons with ASPD, Alan really does have a conscience and experiences empathy, so that's all right then, after all.

As you point out, we also learn that he's also a lot more selfish and abusive than he appears at first, which makes for a much more interesting and well-rounded character.

Looking forward to MOAR! :)

So am I, although is anyone else worried that Rees Brennan has written herself into a bit of a corner? I mean, she has to find a way to maintain story continuity without resorting to cop-outs or turning Nick into a complete Deus Ex Machina, or the whole thing will be a washout.

permalink

-

go to top

http://altogetherisi.livejournal.com/

at 16:10 on 2009-12-02I'm aware that this review was written months ago and that there is very little chance anyone will read this comment, but whatever. I just really wanted to point out that the bit in the middle, when Nick and Alan have captured a magician and then seemingly become inept seems wrong because it is in fact wrong; what is actually happening is that Alan has decided to let the magician escape - the ineptitude is entirely intended on his part and manipulated into occuring in Nick by him.

permalink

-

go to top

Wardog

at 18:28 on 2009-12-02No, no, I keep an eye comments - thanks for this. I guess I wasn't paying enough attention, or perhaps it was a question of clarity.