#its me im the tiny confused Finn

[jincheeto]

I love my friends <3333

@teethcritter @lobster-lover

Context below cut:

[crucifiedfaerie]

Nicotine Stains | Pt. 2 ༉₊˚✧

Modern!Kylo x Fem!Reader AU

➴ Summary: As your relationship with Kylo grows behind closed doors, so does your worry and confusion about what exactly you are to him.

➴ Part One

➴ Word Count: 5.2k

➴ Warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, dom!kylo, modern!delinquent!kylo au, smoking, swearing, quite a bit of angst, kylo is a stupid man who doesn't know how real relationships work apparently, he also doesn't know what communication is, reader is in her head about it, mutual pining, finnpoe my loves make an appearance (its canon to me idgaf), fluff, kinda hurt with comfort, SMUT (unprotected PiV sex, car sex, softdom!kylo, kinda breeding kink ?? oops), typos probably

➴ Taglist: ( @enviedear @capitanostella @teapartydreams @beautifulbluejay @mochiseni )

A/N: im alive !!!!! holy shit i promised this would be out in like november. oops. the writers block has been so real im sorry. now that i have this out though, chapter two of growing pains will be coming next !! i promise i didn't abandon that.... anyways i hope you enjoy !!

masterlist

You impatiently sat, knees tucked beneath you and head resting on the back of your family’s couch so you could look out the window. The men in your life had been away for a week and a half, and while you couldn't deny having Finn out of your hair for once was like a peaceful vacation in itself, you missed Kylo like crazy. Having to look at his sleek, black Charger parked in front of your house every time you looked out of your window didn't necessarily help either.

When he told you Finn had asked him to tag along on their annual camping trip, you couldn't help but laugh. The image of Kylo trying to fit his tall, broad frame into a tiny shared tent with your father and brother was too hilarious to you.

"What’s so funny, kid?" He had laughed back at you.

Usually, Poe was the one to go on those trips with your brother and father, but with him away at pilot school, Finn had been lonely recently. He wasn't expecting himself to take it so hard, but gods did he miss Poe. Despite missing Kylo, you were glad he agreed to go and keep Finn company. Your father, of course, was also overjoyed to hear that Kylo would be joining.

Your eyes lit up as your father's beat-up car pulled into the driveway. You watched as they unpacked the car and exchanged words you couldn't hear before Kylo parted ways and headed to his car with his bag hanging off his shoulder. When he reached the driver's side door, he noticed you in the window and gave you a subtle wink before getting into the Charger and pulling away. 

Part of you was expecting... hoping for him to come in, but you should have known he wouldn't. It's not like your family knew of your weird relationship that had been blossoming for the past month. You couldn't help but still feel a little disappointed, you hoped maybe he would have just said fuck it and come in and kissed you. Maybe he didn't miss you as much as you had missed him? Your heart sank at the idea. 

The mixed signals Kylo had been giving you were starting to give you whiplash. One minute he would be in your room treating you like you're the only person in the world who matters to him, and the next he'd be standing in the kitchen talking to Finn or your mother, not even giving you so much as a glance. 

The thought of asking him about what exactly the two of you were honestly made you wanna die. You didn't want to come off as clingy and ruin whatever it was you had, but the twinge of hurt that came with every time he ignored your presence was starting to become… too much. 

You sighed and walked upstairs to your room, feeling defeated. You practically collapsed in your chair before putting on your headphones and starting on some schoolwork, attempting to think about anything but Kylo. 

A thump muffled by the music in your ears broke you from your calculus-induced trance. When you turned around in your chair you were met with Kylo on your bedroom floor, who you assumed had just fallen through your window. You giggled at him, pulling your headphones down to rest around your neck. 

He groaned before sitting up and smiling at you. "I meant to do that." 

"Sure." You laughed, getting out of your seat to join him on the floor.

Kylo leaned against the wall, pulling you into his lap. He gave you a quick kiss before pulling away and looking down at you with those pretty brown eyes you can never seem to get enough of these days. "I leave for nearly two weeks to go into the middle of nowhere, and I can't even get a text from my girl when I get home?" He asked, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

You felt the warmth creep across your cheeks at the way he called you his. "I got carried away with homework, I didn't even realize what time it was." You glanced at the window behind him, noticing the dark indigo hue of the sky.

Kylo smiled, peppering small kisses down your jaw. "What were you listening to?" He lightly tapped your headphones with his long fingers. You took them off before carefully placing them over his ears. "Chevelle? I see my good taste continues to rub off on you kid." He grinned.

"Don't be so full of yourself. My dad loves Chevelle, I got it from him." You laughed, taking the headphones from him and tossing them into your chair. Kylo smiled before standing up, taking you with him, and setting you on your bed gently. His kiss was needy, and he slowly pushed you backward until you were lying down.

He pulled away, out of breath slightly. "Do you know how much I missed this? You were on my mind every night I was there... I couldn't even jack off because we were in that stupid tent..." He paused, shutting his eyes. "You didn't hear that." 

You giggled. "You jerk off thinking about me? Are you obsessed with me or something?"

Kylo laughed, rolling his eyes. "You idiot." He attacked your face with kisses that tickled, causing you to let out a half scream. "Shhh kid, your mom's gonna think you're being murdered up here." 

As if he had summoned her, you heard a knock at your bedroom door. Kylo quickly stood up from your bed, rushing over to your closet and maneuvering himself inside before shutting the door quietly.

You shook your head at him, stifling a laugh and taking your seat back at your desk, pretending to look like you were doing something. "You can come in." 

Your mother opened the door with a soft creak. "Were you talking to someone?"

You quickly fabricated a lie. "I was just on the phone with a friend from my class." 

Your mom nodded, briefly glancing around your room. "I actually came up here to tell you to ask Kylo if he's coming to dinner on Friday. I meant to ask when they came home earlier, but he left so fast I missed him." 

Your hands felt sweaty. Why would she ask you to ask him? Did she know? "Why wouldn't you ask Finn to talk to Kylo?" 

She leaned on the doorframe slightly. "Well he's been driving you to and from class a lot recently, just ask him for me tomorrow would you? And you better make sure to thank that boy for driving you around! It's very nice of him."

It took everything in you to hold back the laugh that threatened to surface. You just knew Kylo was doing the same. "Yeah, I'll ask him." You had almost forgotten you had class in the morning. Fuck.

"Thank you. Goodnight, I love you." She began to shut your door. "Remember. Tell him thank you." 

"Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, I love you." You laughed as you listened to her footsteps disappear down the hall.

You leaned forward in your chair to open your closet door. Kylo chuckled softly. "Is there something you needed to say to me?... Sorry, I couldn't hear the conversation very well with this door in the way." He smirked, taking a step towards you. 

"Oh shut up." You smiled back at him. 

He pulled you closer to him, wrapping his long arms around you. Your face pressed into his shirt, the smell of blackberries and pomelo from his cologne filling your senses. "It's fine, you can thank me in different ways." He whispered into the top of your head.

You giggled nervously, feeling your face get hot again. "Yeah?"

Kylo took your face into his hands and leaned back as if to study you. "Yeah..." He smirked. "But not tonight, you have class tomorrow, remember?" He kissed you again before letting you go and making his way towards your window. 

You groaned at him. "Why not just stay the night?" You asked sweetly, following him.

He smiled down at you with adoration. "What, so we both wake up late and you miss your class? Your parents would hate me." Kylo smirked

My mother and father could never hate you, stupid.

"Fine." You sighed, not having the courage to argue.

He leaned down and kissed you again, deeper this time. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?" 

"Okay." You said it so quietly you weren't sure if he even heard it. He ducked out of your window, shutting it quietly. You watched as he climbed down and went to his car in the darkness. Once his tail lights had disappeared at the end of your street, you collapsed onto your bed, allowing your body to succumb to sleep and silence your racing mind. 

Friday afternoon, you sat at the table in your overly warm kitchen, trying to finish some classwork as your mother cooked. The sound of the doorbell made your heart leap out of your chest. You'd been anticipating today all week and while you were hoping it was Kylo at the door, a part of you was also hoping he'd show up late so you wouldn't have to endure getting ignored by him so much.

You heard your dad open the door. "Hi Son, what a pleasant surprise!" You felt your palms get clammy. "Finn! Come down here!" Your father shouted up the stairs. You craned your neck to look around the corner and see who it was, hearing Finn's quick footsteps as he made his way down the steps. 

It was Poe. He stood in the foyer, dressed nicely but still wearing that worn, brown leather jacket he always wore. He held a bouquet of orange and white lilies. You smiled, those were Finn's favorite. 

"Poe!" Finn nearly knocked Poe over with how quickly he hugged him. "You said you wouldn't be back until summer!" 

Poe wrapped his arms around him, laughing. "You know I had to surprise you." He pressed a kiss to Finn's forehead. "Hey, don't crush the flowers, they barely made it on the trip down here." 

Finn pulled away, beaming at him. He took the flowers into his hands before kissing Poe.

You looked at your mother, who was grinning almost as wide as Finn was. "Aren't they just adorable? When you find someone, they better treat you as good as Poe treats Finn." She smiled at you. You gave her a weak smile back and nodded, looking back at the textbook in front of you. 

You couldn't help but wish Kylo would do that. Showing up at your door with flowers, instead of sneaking through your window no later than 11 pm to smoke weed and fuck. It wasn't like your parents wouldn't approve of him... they have always adored Kylo for no reason at all. You attempted to focus on the pages in front of you, it was ridiculous to dwell so deeply on a man you weren't even actually sure was yours.

Kylo showed up fashionably late of course. Your mother beamed at the sight of him standing in the entryway. "Kylo honey, I was worried you weren't going to come. Go ahead and sit." 

He smiled sweetly at her. "You know I wouldn't miss your wonderful cooking for anything." To your surprise, he took the seat right beside you, something he never does when he's over for dinner. 

Other than small glances, Kylo did not acknowledge your presence at the beginning of dinner. He mostly caught up with Poe and talked cars with your father. As you picked at the food on your plate, you felt a large, warm hand rest on your thigh. When you turned your head to look up at Kylo, he seemed unphased, deep in conversation with Poe.

"How is pilot school treating you, man?" Kylo asked, his one hand inching further up your thigh as he took a bite from his fork with the other hand. 

You felt warmth creep across your cheeks as you clenched your thighs together, causing his grip on you to tighten slightly.

He cannot possibly be serious? The fucking dinner table?

You looked at him again, chewing on the inside of your mouth and attempting to relax as much as you could. Kylo glanced down at you briefly, a sly smirk playing at his lips and his pupils large. He turned back to his conversation with Poe as he inched his long fingers underneath your skirt, brushing them against your clothed cunt.

You felt a moan threaten to escape your lips so you pretended to clear your throat, causing Kylo to fight back a grin. He was enjoying this way too much... This was all too much. You quickly grabbed his hand in an attempt to keep him from going any further. Thank god for your mother's tablecloth or everyone would have seen what was happening. 

You weren't sure what it was, maybe the obvious flush on your face, but your mother had noticed something was up. "Is something wrong sweetheart?" 

You tried to think of something, anything reasonable to say but your brain felt so foggy. 

Oh you know, Finn's best friend and so-called 'angel' in your eyes is playing with my cunt under the dinner table but doesn't have the decency to take me out on a date, no biggie.

"I'm fine, it's just really hot in here." You managed to get out, fiddling with the neck of your sweater. Kylo had removed his hand which was now resting on your knee. You sighed, silently thanking the gods of every pantheon you could think of. Moaning in front of your entire family at dinner wasn't exactly ideal. Despite the wetness growing in your panties, you wanted nothing more than to strangle him right there.

The rest of dinner was a blur, and at some point, Finn, Poe, and Kylo had disappeared to the basement, most likely to drink and play video games. This allowed you to sneak away to your room, the noise from the TV downstairs dissipating into a soft murmur as you shut your bedroom door behind you.

-

"FINN! I'm getting obliterated over here and you're on the other side of the map fucking around!" 

"I'm literally almost there calm down!" 

Kylo sat on the couch, listening as Finn and Poe bickered over the game they were playing, loud gunshots and explosions emanating from the television as Poe was, in fact, being obliterated. 

His knee bounced up and down nervously. As much as he enjoyed seeing Poe again and playing video games like old times, all Kylo could think about was seeing you again. 

You had seemed a little off today, did he do something wrong?

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, taking a few minutes to type, delete, and retype his message to you, finally deciding on something lighthearted. 

Kylo: where'd you disappear to kid? you're missing out on some riveting gameplay down here.

The blue glow of his screen illuminated in his hands a few minutes later, and he felt a wave of excitement course through his body when he saw that you had responded. 

♡: i forgot i had a paper i needed to finish.

Kylo frowned at his phone, it was 9:30 pm on a Friday. Surely he had done something to upset you. He sighed before trying to formulate another text to send back to you.

Finn’s voice pulled him from his anxious thoughts. “There are more beers in the garage, I’ll be right back.” Kylo watched as he kissed Poe quickly before sprinting up the stairs.

“So,” Poe started, leaning closer with a grin on his face. “Any new girls or are you still fixated on your best friend's sister?” 

Kylo groaned, knowing this would come up. “That was in middle school, I wouldn’t have told you then had I known now you’d still be bringing this up years later.” He laughed nervously.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Ren.” Poe laughed. “Elementary, middle, high school… Hell, four months ago before I left, you were talking about her.” He shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth before continuing. “I don’t know why you won’t just go for it. Their parents already love you, I don’t think it’ll be a big deal like you think it will be.”

“You don’t get it Poe, they like me as Finn’s friend. She’s in college and I have nothing ahead of me except a court date for a speeding ticket next week. But if you must know, we’ve been… talking and hanging out for the past month and I’m pretty sure I’ve already made her mad at me so… yeah.” Kylo said tiresomely. 

Poe’s eyes lit up. “What the hell dude? Were you just not going to tell me-”

“We got lucky, there was only three left.” Their conversation was cut short, to Kylo’s relief, by Finn coming down the stairs holding three crisp cans of beer, the condensation leaving a damp mark on the front of his shirt.

“I was actually about to head home.” Kylo said, standing from the old, sunken couch. 

Finn groaned in protest, setting the cans on the water-stained coffee table. “Just stay for another game or two, I’ll let you take my spot.” 

“Yeah, just another game or two.” Poe chimed in, his eyes wide, silently pleading with him to stay in hopes Kylo would tell him more. 

“Sorry guys, I’m just really tired tonight.” Kylo shot Poe a look. “I’m coming back over tomorrow.” With Finn’s back turned momentarily, he took the opportunity to mouth “Drop it.”

“Fine, but no flaking out on us or we will drag you out of your home.” Finn smirked.

Kylo nodded in agreement, laughing slightly, before making his way up the stairs into the kitchen. Your parents had already gone to bed, the refrigerator humming and ticking clock being the only noise that filled the quiet darkness. 

He silently made his way up the stairs to your room, taking a breath once he reached your door before opening it slowly. Once inside, he noticed your empty desk chair and your computer which cast a soft glow on you, lying face first on your bed. You turned your head to look at him.

"Making really great progress on that paper I see." He smirked at you, that stupid smirk you love to hate and hate to love. 

"I'm tired." That was all you could manage to say to him. After his stunt at the dinner table and his general behavior in the past month, you honestly wanted nothing more than for him to just go away.

“What's wrong pretty girl?” Kylo’s voice was soft and sweet like honey. You felt the bed dip beside you and two strong arms wrap around you. “Are you mad at me for dinner? I-” 

You sat straight up to look at him, causing him to stand up from your bed. “Yes! Yes, I’m mad at you for dinner.” You shouted at him, as much as a whisper would allow you to. “You don't even have the decency to come through the front door most times, and when you do, you act like I don't exist. I don't understand you, if I had known I'd just be a fuck buddy to you I wouldn't have given you my virginity in the first place.”

For a few moments, Kylo stared at you. He looked surprised but there was a softness and concern in his eyes. “That isn't all you are to me, I promise… I just... feel like I'm not good enough for you sometimes.” 

You sighed, collapsing back into your pillows. Your capacity to care or argue with him was spent. “I wish you had figured that out before you invited me out onto the roof to smoke with you.” 

The room was quiet for a few moments before you heard the sound of your window opening and closing. He left your house wordlessly, with nothing but dead silence left in his wake. 

You felt hot tears sting at the corners of your eyes, regretting nothing more than ever allowing Kylo to get close to you. 

Asshole.

You hadn't realized you’d fallen asleep until you were woken up to the sound of your phone ringing. Lifting your head from your tear-soaked pillow, you tried to adjust your eyes to the brightness of your phone to see who was calling you so late.

Kylo.

You nearly groaned, debating whether or not it was a better idea to just ignore him. You ultimately decided against your better judgment.

“What do you want?” You spoke sleepily into the phone.

“Just come down here for a moment.”

You got up and looked out your window. Kylo stood in front of your house, leaning against his car with his phone pressed against his face. “No.” You were about to hang up on him before you heard his voice again.

“You can hate me, that's fine. I just want to show you one thing.” There was a quick desperation to his voice. “Please.”

“Fine.” You sighed, hanging up the phone before slipping your shoes on quickly and opening your window. Once on your roof, you had wished you’d grabbed a jacket. The cold, midnight air nipped at your exposed arms, causing you to shiver. 

You climbed down your mother's trellis, taking extra care not to crush any of the vines that would bloom beautifully in the spring. 

You felt the frozen dew from the grass brush across your ankles as you made your way to Kylo’s car and watched as he opened the passenger side door for you. The warmth of the car interior enveloped you as you sat down, and once fully inside, he shut your door before practically running around his car to his side. 

He pulled away from your house with a roar from his engine, and you hoped your parents didn't hear it. 

“Where are we going?” You asked unamused. 

“Somewhere I like to go when I want to be alone... I think you’ll like it.” Kylo said softly, glancing at you once before focusing on the road again. 

You sighed, watching as he pulled onto a backroad. The canopy of trees shaded the car from the moonlight, only the glow of the radio dimly illuminating the interior. 

“You really shouldn't have, you know… Taking me somewhere nice like the forest before murdering me.” You said sarcastically.

Kylo laughed. “Where else would I dispose of the body? Suburbs are much too populated.” He joked, reaching for his cigarettes before offering one to you. 

You tried to hide the smirk that played on your lips, hating how easily he could make you laugh. You accepted the cigarette, watching as the trees cleared to reveal a moonlit lake. 

Kylo put the charger in park, before turning in his seat to face you. “I’m sorry I've treated you the way I have this past month.” He reached up to light your cigarette for you, not breaking eye contact. He ignited his own, taking a few puffs before continuing. “I've always been so scared of not being good enough for you or living up to your family's standards… and now I've allowed my fears to hurt you. But I can assure you you're way more than just a quick fuck to me, I can't apologize enough for making you feel that way.” 

You watched as Kylo reached into his back seat for something, retrieving a stack of small notes and colored paper. He smiled nervously before handing them to you. 

As you flipped through them in silence, you tried to make sense of what you were looking at. In the stack were dozens of notes and cards all in his handwriting, some more recent and some that seemed to have been written by a much younger Kylo. You looked up at him, no longer able to hide the smile on your face. 

“I would write them and always get way too nervous to give them to you… but I kept them anyway.” Kylo said nervously, speaking quickly. “I've liked you since we were children, Poe always-”

You cut him off with a kiss, his warm lips immediately melting into yours as he kissed back with need and desire. Kylo extinguished his cigarette in his car's ashtray before traveling his hands up to hold your face.

After a few minutes, he pulled away, allowing you both to catch your breath. Still cradling your face in his hands, Kylo looked at you with a gaze so soft, that you thought you'd melt into a puddle on the floor of his Charger. 

He spoke softly. “Be my girlfriend. Say you'll be mine and my fears will be far behind me, I promise.” 

You beamed at him, nodding quickly. “I'm yours.”

Kylo’s lips connected with yours once again and he kissed you feverishly. He reached down to fiddle with something before his seat extended back with a dull thump. Without ever breaking the kiss, Kylo pulled you with him to the backseat, laying you down so he was hovering above you. 

You quickly fumbled with his belt, trying to blindly undo the clasp. He brushed your hands away, kissing his way down your now trembling body and stopping just above the waistband of your pants. Hooking his fingers into them, he quickly and expertly removed both your pants and underwear in one go, exposing your bare cunt to the cool air of his car. You watched as he threw your clothes somewhere into the dark void that was the front seat. 

You whined, pushing your thighs together for warmth and friction, which Kylo promptly used his strong hands to open again. “Not so fast, my little star. I wanna take my time with you tonight.” He smirked up at you. 

Half-kneeling on the floorboard of the car, Kylo peppered kisses up and down your inner thigh, causing you to shiver in his grasp. After what felt like eons of teasing, he finally placed a kiss just below your pubic bone before licking a stripe up your slit. 

You moaned, tangling your fingers into his long, dark locks as he began to feast on you. Your body felt full of electricity as if you were going to spark and short circuit at any moment. 

He was unrelenting with his tongue, and you felt yourself nearing your climax. “Kylo!” You whined desperately. 

“Hm? What is it, pretty girl?” He mumbled against you, not faltering once in his attack on your now very sensitive clit. 

“You’re g-gonna make me cum already, stop.” You breathed out. 

You could feel him smirk against your heat. “That's fine. Go ahead, cum for me.” He hummed.

Your head felt light and your body electric as you came, your vision blurring as you rode your high on his tongue. You only noticed he had stopped when you came to and saw him wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, his dark hair messy and pupils blown with lust. 

“You taste so fucking good.” He breathed as he undid his belt, “I can't believe I waited a month to do that.” 

Laughing weakly, your head still fuzzy from your high, you admired him as he pulled his t-shirt over his head, exposing his pale chest littered with beauty marks. He looked so angelic the way the moon behind him cast his frame in an almost halo-like glow. You watched as he freed his erect cock from the tight confines of his jeans. 

Kylo kissed you as he lined himself up with your entrance, pausing momentarily to hold the side of your face in his hand and smile at you with adoration. “I wish you could see how pretty you look right now… How pretty you always look.”

You whined, still unable to form a coherent sentence and wrapping your arms around his broad frame. You felt him push his cock inside you slowly, and he watched as your eyes rolled back into your skull in pleasure. 

You moaned into the crook of his neck as he began to move, thrusting into you gently. His hand traveled up your shirt to cup your breast while he used the other to keep the back of your head from hitting the door handle. 

Kylo’s pace quickened, hitting that sensitive bundle of nerves deep inside you with every thrust. “You’re gonna m-make me cum again, you f-feel too good.” You breathed.

“I’m not gonna stop you, baby. Cum on my cock as many times as you need.” He smiled down at you, slightly out of breath as he neared his own climax. 

You came undone beneath him for the second time that night, loudly moaning his name and whatever expletives your brain thought of first, not having to worry about the possibility of waking your entire family as you both bathed in the moonlight that slipped through the now foggy windows of Kylo’s Charger. 

“Hm- Fuck I’m gonna cum.” Kylo moaned into your ear. 

“Please cum in m-me. I love you.” You whined. Your mind was so foggy from cumming twice that you had lost your inhibition completely and it took you a moment to realize what you just said to him.

You didn’t have much time, however, to worry about it for too long as Kylo let out a moan you had never heard from him before, a sound of need and desperation. “Fuck- Fuck! I love you too.”  He came to a halt deep inside you, before filling you with his cum. 

He breathed heavily on top of you, staring down at you with shock and adoration. “I love you too.” He repeated, completely out of breath. When he pulled out, you felt his cum drip down your thigh as he quickly retrieved his shirt from the darkness of the floorboard to clean you up. 

Kylo peppered kisses up and down your body before pulling you into his lap to hold you in his arms, and you watched as he lazily drew a heart in the condensation that had collected on the window. You smiled and rested your head on his shoulder, thinking only of how comfortable you felt in his presence. 

You didn’t get home until 4 am and slept through most of the morning. You awoke to your father yelling at you from downstairs saying something about how there was somebody there to see you. Confused and still tired, you wiped the sleep out of your eyes as you made your way to the stairs. 

You stopped in your tracks at the top of the steps. Kylo standing in your foyer waiting for you was the last thing you expected. He had cleaned up nicely, trading his usual rotation of black band tees for a nice, dark button-up, and in his hands he held a bouquet of pink lilies. He smiled nervously up at you.

“Hi?” You beamed at him, laughing slightly.

“Hi,” Kylo smirked, looking down the hall towards the kitchen, where your dad had disappeared to, before continuing in a lower tone only you could hear. “I thought I’d try the front door this time.”

[thewolfisapartofmysoul]

Hello my sweet!! I was wondering if maybe I could request a lil Dewey headcanon about the reader asking dewey to go and see the infinity war/Endgame marvel double bill at the cinema?? And at first he’s like noooo but then he actually loves it and wants to watch them all??? Lotsa love my angel!🥰💜

Of couse darling!

Suuuuuuperfluffy Dewey Finn x reader ahead!

Marvelous Marvel Movienight.

"PLEASE!!! Dewdrop! You gotta see marvel at least once okay??!! Its just so gooooood! " you pleaded to your boyfriend, tugging at his shirt like a 5 year old toddler would do, to get what he wanted. Anything to watch Marvel with the love of your life.

Dewey had been stubborn and wouldnt budge... you had been whining and begging him to join you to your favorite movie in the world, but Dewey just deadpanned: "Darling... listen... This might seem shocking... but shirtless superheroes with tight abbs, aren't doing it for me..."

You chuckled a bit at his dramatic floppy hand that matched his scentence. What a man...

You sighed, pulled out your phone quickly... typed something with the speed of lightning, and turned the screen to the unimpressed face of Dewey Finn. His eyebrows shot up and he smirked a tiny bit more then he had before. He hummed: "Well... youknow im not into redheads... but... this certainly makes it better."

You grinned back at him: "Yeah... should have known Black Widow wouldn't be your cup of tea... but hey... What about Scarlet Witch?"

You turned the phone towards him again and he hummed approvingly at the picture you showed him.

"Hmmm.... Yeah... okay... thats... okay."

You glanced at him happily over your phone and watched him nod once.

You squeeled a high pitched note in happiness and victory and bounced into his arms. "YESSSS!!! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!! Yaaaaay Dew! Its gonna be great!!!"

Dewey looked at your stoked happy bouncy form and his eyes softened when he spoke: "Yeah... allright champ... But the witch isn't nearly as gorgeous as you are."

You bounced into his arms and pecked his lips happily.

You told him: "Im gonna call the cinema for spots..." you turned away, phone in hand ready to call for seats this evening when Deweys hand around your waist stopped you.

You whipped your head around in confusion, frown on your face as you looked to Dewey again.

He kissed you again and whispered between kisses:

"Tonight....

okay....

i...

will...

take...

care...

of....

it...."

You hummed happily in the kiss and combed your fingers through his hair, he moaned in pure bliss. His hair always had been his weak spot. And you loved touching it. So. Match made in heaven.

Dewey deepened the kiss with a small growl when you scratched the hair on the back if his neck. But when his hands slid lower onto your back you pulled away.

You chuckled when you saw Dewey trace after your soft lips as you removed your mouth from his.

Always so needy for more.

"Hey HoneyDew.... Better get your rocking ass take care of those seats okay?"

Dewey was slightly frustrated and grunted through a tight jaw: "Anything for you my angel..." his lips kissed yours one more time before he swiftly turned on his heels.

Phone in hand he walked away, yelling over his shoulder: "On it!"

.......

Dewey wouldnt tell you where the two of you were heading tonight, and you weren't having any of it tonight. He promised you he would take care of it.

After a 10 minute drive he passed your usual cinema. Passed it...

You had been driving for about 50 minutes now, and Dewey was on the wheel, with a stupid satisfied smirk on his face the whole drive. He wouldn't tell you where you were going. Or what you two would do when you got there.

You just wanted Marvel movie-night damn it.

Through your ranting thoughts you didnt notice Dewey was parking the car.

You were just about to give your boyfriend a lecture and ask him where he was taking you for the 100th time this drive, when he stopped the car and looked you in the eye. He smirked and bounced his leg in excitement when he exclaimed: "WE'RE HERE BABY!"

You were gonna ask him: where the fuck that was....

When you heared the familiar tune of a marvel movie behind the car.

whatthehell?

Dewey cheered, jumped out of the car and rushed towards your door to open it.

You hadn't even time to ask him where you were, because in a heartbeat he had pulled you out of the car enthausiastically. He tugged you towards the back of his van, and threw open the door.

Cozy pillows and 3 blankets where spread across the back of his van. Dewey even hang up actual fairylights.

When you tore your amazed gaze away from the back of the van, Dewey was standing in front of you with some cozy home-socks in one hand, and some popcorn in the other.

A happy but insecure smile tugged his lips upwards and he stepped aside to show you where the Marvel Theme was coming from.

Behind your happy DewDrop there was a giant screen, where Civil-war just started to play.

It...was a drive in cinema.

Of course! What a fool you were.

You squeeled happily and just in time saw the glint of relief in Deweys eyes when you hugged him as tightly as possible. Dewey chuckled and couldn't actually hug you back, cause socks and popcorn.

He watched you get cozy inside the van and handed you your popcorn and fuzzy socks.

A smile crept up his face as he took in how adorable and utterly happy you looked.

*gosh... how much he loved you*

Dewey crawled into the fluffy pillows beside you and tugged you closer to him. Craving you. Your happy vibe. Your absolute beauty. And your cuddles. It was never close enough for him.

Deweys eyes lit up when he watched your entranced face, your eyes glued on the screen before you. He kissed your cheek lovingly, but let you be after that. You were *so* keen to watch the movie, he didn't want to disturb you.

Dewey couldn't care less where he was with you. He didnt even watched the movie. His eyes were as glued on you, as yours were on the Marvel movie before you.

He would go anywhere... do anything... anytime...

As long as you would be there with him... it was allright with Dewey.

.....

When the movie was halfway, the lights went on for a little while.

Break-time.

Your stoked face turned to Dewey and he beamed a happy smile your way.

Deweys hand started to scratch the back of his neck and he started to mutter somewhat insecure: "Listen sweetheart... iknow... i-it... i-is... isnt quite an a-actual cinema... bu-but... erhm... you... i..."

You shut him up in the kindest way possible. You pressed a gentle, loving kiss on his soft lips, and his muttering faded away.

You breathed against his lips between kisses:

"Thankyou Dewey.... its perfect. I love it... but I love you even more..."

Your hands found his hair again and started to scratch his scalp as you deepened the kiss. You smirked in the kiss as you heared Dewey produce the slightest, quietest moan. Almost like he was embarresed by the sound he produced in public.

Deweys hands roamed under your sweater and brushed lovingly circles on your sides.

This time it was Dewey who broke the kiss. And you pouted instantly when his lips left yours. You scooted closer to his body to compensate the loss.

Dewey brushed his calloused fingers against your cheekbone and he muttered with his nose against yours: "Happy to see you this happy. Are you cozy enough for round two after this one?"

Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion and you said confused: "Wha.... what? Dew... round two?"

Dewey chuckled and kissed your nose before humming: "Yeah love... half of Infinty War to go. And Endgame later...?"

Your eyes turned wide in amazement and you squeeled loudly in excitement again.

"No way!! Both???" You yelled happily to Dewey and he nodded. His eyes beaming as he took in your glee.

Dewey continued after: "...Wanna do a marvel-marathon at home after?" He scratched the back of his neck again and flipped his hand through his own locks. A trait that showed you he was nervous about something. Dewey spoke again: "...they... erhm... are... actually... Marvel is... kind of good? I enjoy... it? I would like to see the rest too if you're into that?"

Your hands found Dewey's scruffy cheeks and you held them firmly when you kissed the boy senseless.

Dewey's grin turned into a smile, his smile into chuckle, his chuckles turned into a full on hollering laughter. As you continued to kiss every inch of his beautifull face.

You smirked towards your rockstar: "I... Dewey Finn... would love nothing more..."

Dewey looked absolutely beautifull, laying on his side against you in the back of the van. A single bit of pocorn was stuck in his messy brown locks. He held his scruffy cheek with one hand, and the other was on your waist. Holding you as close as possible. Deweys brown eyes seemed to glow into the fairylights... admiration and love for you was seen in them.

You slowly moved towards him and let his upper lip slip between your lower lip, kissing him softly.

When you pulled back you both muttered in sync: "Iloveyou."

Best date night ever.

You loved Marvel.

But you loved your marvelous rockstar even more.

@ironmansuucks @paxenera @heknowshisherbs @hoodoo12 @large-unit @little-miss-shy-goth @thats-specific @vicunaburger @go-commander-kim @stranger-strings @gegehaddock @bugdrinkss

[slxrpindust]

⚌ ☠

idk any good munday jokes

⚌ Who inspires you?

YOU DO SILLY! You have been one of my biggest inspirations when it comes to RP, hell you’re the whole reason I even got back into rp at all after going through the whole “RP is cringe bro” phase-- Your confidence in RP (even if u don’t see it) is so impressive to me, I really do be following you around like a little duckling because I just like to see you go! The fact that you write so much is BIG inspo and the entire reason I’ve been so active these past few months is because I was aspiring to be more like you idk if you realized skdjghsndg..

BUT some other people in the RPC that have been a huge inspiration to me: 

@royalreef : I genuinely admire how much thought and creativity you’ve poured into miranda and the lore of the merfolk. I know we haven’t written much but as someone who ALSO likes to create these expansive, minutiae filled worlds the fact that you’re so thorough without being confusing.. AND The fact that you don’t let yourself be daunted by the world you’ve built... Honestly, you were the first to come to mind when I was thinking of people. You’re really inspiring. 

@hellishmoth & @fever-sugar : You know I gotta put you two together, it’d just be wrong to split you up! Honestly what inspired me with you guys is the fact that your muses’ relationship runs so deep. I’ve said it before I’ll say it again! I was intimidated by you guys because you were both just so impressive to me. In so many of my threads, I wish I could have those well-developed, impactful relationships with so much mutual history and thought written into them that you can constantly make allusions to their past and their mannerisms and dynamic together like you two do. 

@bigveee : Oh Finn! You big sweet heart. Honestly, its the tiny things but you inspired me to be more kind! and more open! and to actually try reaching out to people in the RPC and taking initiative in making friends. Like it seems really silly now but I think about that meme I sent you, it was something about me being nervous to interact and you said But V, I followed you first! and it kind of like. blew my mind like... oh... I guess people who follow me DO want to interact with me? THIS IS VERy CONFUSING AND DOESNT MAKE SENSE IM SORRY BUT ITS TRUE- You also inspire me with how unapologetically you RP your muses. Its just such a genuineness of character, especially with Valentino being the way he is. I really want to be that secure in Angelo one day.

AND IM CUTTING MYSELF OFFF HERE BECAUSE I DIDNT EXPECT EACH OF THESE TO GET SO LONG AND NOW IM SITTING HER ELIKE 

☠ What keeps you happy?

This isn’t dumb at all actually. MY FRIENDS... Spending time with my friends, whether its gaming or just talking or being like hey this reminded me of you makes me so happy... Knowing that I’m a tangible experience in someone’s life, that I exist even when I’m not there really makes me feel things broo... it  makes me feel the joy... Like I’d never get mad about people spam liking my posts??? PLEASE destroy my activity I want to know that you enjoy what I make ! Comment on my posts ! whatever !! its not annoying I promise it makes me smile EVERY morning when I notice I suddenly have 7 or 8 notifications and I just think “Oh! Leau’s awake! :)” it makes me so excited and fucking bubbly dude I promise-

[be-the-spark-flyboy]

heyy congratulations💕✨!! can i actually have a (male) ship for all the fandoms (if not, just do oscar characters (you have immaculate taste in movies, by the way)). im an entp and my star sign is capricorn. im very all over the place with my thoughts and i like talking a lot. like i already know this request is gonna be super long just ‘cause i ramble (im glad tumblr doesnt have a character limit anymore). in fact, i’ll send this short part in first and then the rest so you can like hide it under the cut or something. im so sorry 😂

so, my ramblings are probably why im considered an extrovert even though i feel like i might be an introvert sometimes. in my free time, i really like trying new things. i have a lot of hobbies that i pick up and drop at random but ive always been really into music (i think im a pretty decent singer. not good enough to make a career but enough to surprise people during karaoke).

ok, i feel like i kind of have to say this because the biggest stereotype of entps is that we’re argumentative... but im not that. i try to be very openminded and i hear people’s arguments before deciding on a stance (a lot of times, my opinion changes every time i talk about the topic. unless the topic, itself, is dumb. then i’ll be comedically stubborn (cereal’s a fucking soup, ok?)) and i’m also weirdly sensitive to other people’s emotions and i try not to say stuff that i know will offend them. i do thoroughly enjoy correcting people though. and debates are still very fun for me... a lot of times i come off as enfp/infp because im very excited/bubbly (when im horny (all the time)) and im very caring with my friends/family but i did my research and im definitely entp. im hella disorganized and i hate commitment (once i like you, though, prepare for me to sacrifice my life for you).

im good with other people’s emotions but the part i struggle with is managing/expressing my own. ive been told by multiple people that im very cold, which always surprises me because i try to act really “out there” with friends. i never dont expect them to see through it. most of the times, though, im not sure what people think of me. i kind of have a lot of different personalities that just ~materialize~ when im talking to a different person (woo defense mechanisms). one thing people dont realize is that im sarcastic but only with people i like. oh... yeah, when i have a crush on someone, i like to tease them. but im also stupid so sometimes i end up offending them instead of being lighthearted like with my friends (sometimes, but rarely, i will go too far with my friends too. even when i try not to). its my way of trying to reach out to them and show them im cool but it painfully backfires every. single. time.

uhhh, last thing, im a switch but definitely more on the “bratty-sub” side than the dom side. sometimes i go full on sub (degrading, praise, worship, bondage, etc) and i come back from it and im super confused because did that just happen?? this is just for your consideration, but usually, i really like hate to love type situations because the whole like “arguing as flirting” thing is just 👏🏻🥵 but im also really into best friends to lovers because in real life, i usually wouldnt like someone romantically unless i could potentially see them as my best friend, platonically.

ok, so. i just stalked your ENTIRE page and i ship you with llewyn because youre really sweet (you deserve each and every follower, by the way. id die for you) and i feel like he needs that in his life. i also think maybe nathan(?) could work because he could learn a lot from you, emotionally. if not, i was thinking abel too. IDK. for starwars, poe because you seem just sane enough to stop him from like killing himself on accident because hes so dumb? also i could totally see you two as “arguing for a good amount of time before getting together” BUT i could also see “we were good friends before getting together” which- 😫😫 having to pick a scenario from my two favorite tropes for you and poe is a good sign for me. same reasoning for anakin. i think mando could also really appreciate your presence on his ship because youre kind and could take care of the child. for marvel, you lowkey could be really good with peter parker or scott lang (one of the soft, silly boys).

sorry for making this so long 😂

Thank you!! And don’t apologise it was an entertaining read🤣

---

MCU:

I ship you with...

Bucky Barnes 😎

It takes a while for Bucky to feel comfortable around you. He sees you with Sam often when you’re having one of your movie marathons or you’re just hanging out. He really wants to talk to you but he’s shy?? You find him attractive but then he is also intimidating.

Then Sam interferes and his solution is to set up a blind date for the two of you. It’s a little awkward in the beginning but you find his shyness endearing as hell. As time goes by, his true self shines through, you realise he is such a romantic and he always finds a way to sweep you off your feet. Horny all the time? He’s literally a super soldier so the stamina...

Star Wars:

I ship you with...

Finn🥰

Imagine, you always lean on each other to vent about things and gossip about other people. Rey is busy as hell and Poe is a dumbass (the the topic of the vent most of the time). Plus he’s General now so a distraction from all the work is very welcome and hence a lot of meet me outside i got a bottle of whisky texts from him. Eventually that turns to just hanging out because he wants to spend time with you.

He probably knows everything about you because he loves to listen to you ramble about anything and everything. Hence he’s one of the few people who you feel comfortable enough to be yourself. And then that turn to making out under the stars on a picnic mat and the rest is history.

Oscar Issac Characters:

I ship you with...

Nathan Bateman😈

It’s almost like you have a seventh sense to detect Nathan’s true emotions despite how much he tries to cover them up. He hates it. So he’s mean to you hence creating a vicious feedback loop of hatred. Queue 100k enimies to lovers slow burn But eventually things work out and Nathan learns to open up a tiny bit to you.

Bratty sub you say? Nathan loves a partner who bites back. Speaking of, on the rare occasion that the two of you show face in public, no one can stand to be around you two since you are always bickering. But trying to one up each other is just your love language.

[danny-phantump]

and i thought to myself: what if the other swords were the bases for fern instead of the grass sword?

(names, personalities, and how they came to be under the cut)

Tinn (because tin is a metal, and the sword is metal. not... my best work but it holds)

Created when Scarlet got thrown into the 4D rift in combination with Finn. No one know why both Tinn and Finn came out, but they did. Tinn was created back in Finn’s younger days, so he’s pretty upbeat, though his naturally neutral and stiff face could fool anyone. He’s a little beat up, but he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind a lot- or at least, he won’t say. His face doesn’t have a whole lot of movement capabilities, despite the rest of him working fine, to PB’s bafflement. Because of this, he mostly stays quiet, though he hums a lot. He sometimes ‘freaks out’, parts of him reverting to 4 dimensions and flipping out all over 3D space. There’s not much to do but wait it out, despite it possibly being world-endingly catastrophic, much the the chagrin of... everyone.

Design notes: his sword rusts away when he dismisses it, and seems to be built from that same dust when he summons it. his core is made of one massive ruby, but the rest of him is just made of the same gold-alloy as scarlet.

Fig (like a fig tree)

Created via life magic (why would you throw your sword at Life Giving Magus’s weird glowing orb Finn, he’s not even doing anything he’s just making an ominous orb), Fig for some reason doesn’t have all of Finn’s memories- they stop at about age 11. The physically smallest of the swords, as well as mentally youngest, he is the little brother. Not just of the Finns- everyone. You thought you were just saying hi? No, you’re telling him you’ll beat up the kids pushing him around on the playground. He doesn’t go to school. You’re playing tag with him. You don’t know how you got to the park. On a darker note though... Fig was lost deep in a dungeon while adventuring. He waited for someone to come find him but... he had snuck out after being grounded by Jake for being reckless and getting hurt. They didn’t know where he was. And slowly, as the weeks went by, he petrified. They finally found him months later but.... Princess Bubblegum, despite her best efforts, can’t revive him. She hasn’t given up hope, but everyone is terrified they were far, far too late.

Design notes: Fig’s limbs are roots twisted together, and his fingers are smaller roots. He has three fingers on each hand and three toes on each foot. His face has a muppet-like mouth, split all the way from ear to ear, but he doesn’t usually open it that far.

Finnalor (Focalor is a demon in Christian mythology who looks like a man with the wings of a griffon)

Created when Kee Oth tried to fix the demon sword with Finn’s blood, Finnalor is cranky. He’s grumpy. He’s hangry. He’s- have you ever watched Gravity Falls? He’s Robbie. A little obsessive over old crushes, mostly snarky and needlessly rude. He’s got a good heart, it’s just a little.... buried. In demon blood. He left after about two days to go live alone on a mountain where no one can hurt him and he cant hurt anyone. Finn knows his summoning and banishing spells and we don’t know why.

Design notes: big. large. long. Finnalor is not a small demon, and hes got the teeth and claws to prove it. He’s wearing a hat Finn washed with red socks three years ago and never threw out.

Fern (thats our boy)

You know who Fern is!

Design notes: round

Finn.2 (i was This Close to making him tiny and calling him miniFinn)

He just sort of... popped out of the Finn Sword when it broke. He’s just... Finn. Point two. He left to go help the humans off their island and hang out with his mom, but he calls sometimes to check up on everybody. There’s something.... fragile about him though. Like he survived something he wasn’t meant to, and he’s waiting to pay the price...

Design notes: that sword is actually a part of him. If he loses it, he can sense it to find it, but if it gets destroyed he goes with it. Its missing the blue orb.

F.I.N.N (Fully Integrated Neural Network, pronounced Finn, but he calls himself RoboFinn when Finn OG is around to avoid confusion)

Hey Finn, can you find the other arm for this cool robot im building? nnnno, a sword is not close eno- what did you do. how did you- what? what????

He’s pretty cool! pretty chill. a neat dude. generally laid back, but very graceful and good at Fighting and Swords. despite having all of Finn’s memories in even better detail than anybody else cause hes a robot, he probably cares the least about being Finn. Or at least, hes Finn enough for him. He works full time at the castle, partly for guard purposes and partly so Princess Bubblegum can do maintenance on him when he falls off the wall again because he was trying to do a Sweet Flip. Also though, because a thing used to kill a fragment of the Lich, who is now a robot with Lich horns, seems.... suspicious. As Fun and Cool as FINN is, we’re keeping an eye on him....

Design notes: The black lines through his body are segments- hes an armored endoskeleton. his feet are actually just sharp points, though he gets around fine on them (not on smooth surfaces though. its like a deer on ice). He’s holding up a peace sign up there.

Sinn (sin + finn)

Hunson Abadeer makes weird plans. We don’t know much about this kid, or why Hunson threw the Night Sword into a vat of goo and it made a magic Finn, but that happened and now we have to deal with the consequences. He’s got a weird magic eye stump that makes magic hands. his whole face flips up like a lid and its filled with teeth. He doesn’t bend right and doesn’t speak. He’s weird, this is weird, i dont trust like that.

Design notes: he has devil horns.

General notes: i didnt originally mean for all of them to be in the same world, but the thought of finn just. continually spawning more finns via swords is hilarious to me. “maybe i should switch to bows and arrows. or axes or something.” you poor bastard.

I do actually have a sort-of explanation- fucking around with multiverse shit makes your genes+memories+essence go nuts and try and smear themselves on everything important to you. its sort of a built in self-preservation mechanism- of you die out there, some piece of you can survive in some way or another. Finn’s just tremendously unlucky.

also almost every color used i lifted directly from the wiki. i gotta say yall use a lot of ‘saddle brown’.

[riverthewriter-blog1]

11.  Reuniting after spending an amount of time thinking someone was dead

Thanks for the ask!💕

It is dark outside and the street is hard to see; perhaps that is why he doesn’t notice the cloaked person standing in front of him. They draw a wickedly long sword, and as he whips his knives out he sees four others standing in the shadows. He yells a warning and beside him Cal draws his sword.

Finn rushes forward, knife ready to throw, but before he can get further than a foot, a quick flick of a sword sends it clattering to the ground. The smell of rain and wild earth floats up to him as the assassin in black pushes the sword up to his neck, forcing him backwards.

He struggles to pull another knife from under his cloak, but stops when he sees a lock of golden hair with a streak of silver tumbling out of the assassin’s mask. I know that hair, he thinks. I know this girl. He isn’t fully sure until he sees her eyes; dark green with flecks of gold. The sight brings back memories that send him reeling.

Summer evenings lying in the grass outside their village, crickets chirping. She waved her hand lazily and a tiny dandelion poked its head out of the ground. It grew taller and taller and curled around her finger. Another one grew, and another. She laughed, a happy laugh filled with sunshine and tall trees, and the flowers twisted themselves into a crown. He reached for it and placed it on her head, smiling softly. “It’s beautiful,” he told her. She laughed again. “I know.”

They sat together at the top of the tallest tree they could find. She climbed up it with ease, but when he struggled she asked the branches to bend into a ladder for him. They did so happily- he didn’t understand how branches could be happy, but he would take her word for it- and soon they were both looking out over the vast forest. It was autumn, and the leaves glittered red and orange and gold. “This is mine,” she told him, letting her hand caress the leaves that surrounded them. “All of this is mine.”

They had spent the day running through the forest and playing in the river, splashing each other until they were wet and cold and drunk on the simple beauty of life. Now they sat together on the bank with their feet touching underwater. “Do you think I’ll ever be able to use my Gift like you?” he’d asked. For awhile, she just sat there next to him, staring into the water. Finally, she looked up at him. “You don’t need to use it, not yet. Not when I’m here to protect you. But someday I won’t be here anymore, and then you’ll show them all how powerful you really are.” And she had been his protector, for a long time. Whenever the other kids taunted him or called him awful names, a simple flick of her wrist had them silent and terrified for days. She’d always been there. Until she hadn’t.

The last day he saw her, she was heading deep into the woods on a mission of revenge. Someone had been cutting down trees in the forest, and she was going to find out who it was. “I’ll bring them back here,” she told him after hugging him goodbye. “And you can use your Gift to make them feel sorry for what they did.” So he’d practiced all day, letting the tiny knot of power in his brain loosen until he could burrow into the minds of others. He’d been outside the village, exploring a colony of hard-working ants, when the earthquake struck. Even as he lay there, covering his head and shaking as tears slipped down his cheeks, he’d known that she would not come back. He’d known that it was the end of everything and everyone he loved.

He stops fighting and allows her to pin him against the wall. A single tear leaks out of his eye.

“I’ve missed you,” he tells the girl. She tilts her head in confusion. She doesn’t recognize me.

He tries to turn his head, and can see his friends fighting out of the corner of his eye. They attack with ferocity, but the attack of the cloaked figures took them by surprise.

“Stop fighting!” he calls. “I know these guys.”

He looks at the girl, who now stands, confused. She hesitates before taking her hood off to reveal pale gold hair and freckled cheeks.

“Hey, Zell,” he says softly. “It’s been awhile.”

[mars-the-4th-planet]

Konichiwa mother****er

"Talk!" Yuri Gagarin demanded. "What do you know about Monarchas plans!"

"I already told you everything!" Kuusi Palaa squeaked in Finnish, while trapped in a cage that Yuri put in a (unplugged) oven. "I dont know what she wants to do with the component, I was just trying to get fuel! Honest!"

Yuri Gagarin looked over at Penny. "Translate please."

"She already told you everything she says, and that she does not know what Monarcha plans to do." Penny replied, looking a little uncomfortable. "Are you sure the oven is off?"

"I am certain."

"So, you do think she is telling the truth Penny? You should know, right?"

Penny shook her head. "I am very bad at reading people, sorry. I have no idea."

"I guess she is being truthful. OKAY YOU SICK LITTLE FINN, YOU ARE COMING FORTH FROM THE OVEN BUT IF YOU CAUSE ANY TROUBLE YOU ARE GOING BACK IN WITH THE POWER ON!" She roared at the much smaller rocket girl.

"You are a big stupid jerk and I hate you..." Kuusi Palaa quoted in response, in Finnish.

Penny hesitantly translated.

"I am?" Yuri said, putting the cage on a shelf. "So I am. But I can quote things too... In this world it is kill or be killed!"

"Setivarki daa pomphis kaisii morvn." She mumbled.

"She said flower clippers are fifty percent off." Penny translated.

Yuri Gagarin giggled. "Good one. You play undertale, Finn?"

Kuusi nodded.

"Beat Sans?"

She shook her head.

"I beat Sans on my first try!" Yuri proudly proclaimed.

She rolled her eyes.

"She does not believe me Penny! I shan't been this disrespected since last I say Freedom Sayori! Can you believe this madass Penny?!"

"Um... Im sorry my friend, but the odds that you defeated Sans on your first try are lower than the odds of ghosts existing!"

Glaring, Yuri Gagarin wheeled herself into her room and slammed the door.

Penny looked down sadly. "I... I am such a bad friend, I should not have said that..."

Kuusi tried to pat Penny through the bars, but she could not quite reach her.

"You seem to make Yuri Gagarin very unhappy... Even causing her to ask me things that make her angry!" Penny said, getting an idea. "So if you were not here, my friend would be happier!"

Kuusi Palaa looked confused, not getting the point.

Penny took the small rocket out of her cage and brought her down into the basement, and got to work repairing the leak in her rocket hull using tiny repair tools and molten glass. After about fifteen minutes, Penny gave Kuusi Palaa some of Yuri Gagarins vodka for fuel, and released her through an open window.

"There! Be free, little friend!" Penny said happily, thinking that now the Finland rocket would not make Yuri Gagarin unhappy. "Please do not bother Yuri Gagarin again okay?"

Kuusi Palaa smiled and waved back at her. "Okay Robot! Thank you so much!!" before zipping away.

Penny relaxed on the rocket launch pad (the closest thing they had to a chair in this house) and began recharging herself.

...

"Penny?"

She opened her eyes. There was Freedom Sayori.

"Where is Yuri Gagarin?"

"She is in her room, angry." Penny said. "But if you take this opportunity to comfort her, I believe she is interested in becoming your friend!"

"Yuri? No... Why would any fellow rocket girl want to be friends with me? Humans I get, they think I am someone special... But Yuri knows the truth, she knows I am nothing but a garbage can with a garbage person on top of it." Sayori said, on the verge of crying underneath her badass sunglasses. "EA Robotics turned me away, apparently they are not responsible for any accidents involving you." She added.

Penny got up and hugged her. "You are not garbage, in fact Yuri Gagarin is jealous of how amazing you are! It really gets her down that you are the more powerful and more popular... But right now, she is angry at me and Kuusi Palaa. I think if you take this opportunity, you two can become friends and support each other through your insecurities!" Penny cheerfully and very technically suggested.

Sayori smiled slightly. "I guess... I can try."

"Hooray!"

"Calm down, Penny. Please. Hehe."

"Sorry." Penny made a >_< face.

"Its okay." Sayori patted her on the head and headed into Yuri Gagaris room.

Penny walked outside, fully charged now, and gazed up at the stars. She simulated in her head her and a bunch of other Pennys going up to Mars and making a fully robotic colony there. This fantasy seemed to be a favorite of every Penny created, as EA could not figure out how to make them stop wanting this. Some even rumored that the Pennys were planning on rising up against humanity, becoming rocket girls themselves, and flying off. This was not true, but conspirators will conspire.

"Konichiwa!"

"Hello!" Penny turned and spotted Natsuki Nagasaki, who was wearing a kimono and holding a plastic katana.

"Omae owah de shinderu!" She shouted and charged at Penny.

Penny could only watch in confusion as Natsuki began whacking her with the toy.

"Youre not supposed to attack others with fake weapons! It wont work!" Penny explained.

Natsuki Nagasaki did not care, under the rules of anarchy there are no rules. There was no "supposed to" in her mind, she did what she wanted.

Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack!

"You are doing no damage, I dont understand..."

Natsuki then ran off holding up a middle finger and spinning around.

"What a chaotic person..." Penny said, still confused.

Before Natsuki was out of sight, she suddenly jumped into a ditch. Because a battered and dirty white pickup truck had just pulled up.

"I see you there you little shit! Stop running away!" A large angry man said, coming out of the vehicle. He walked up to the ditch and pulled Natsuki out, who bit his hand and made a run for it. Natsuki shouted something in Japanese that roughly translated to "sex the law"

"Whats up?" Penny asked, now next to the man favoring his hurt hand. While you couldnt tell by looking at her, Penny was concerned he was a kidnapper.

"Nothing. She keeps running away from home. I am her father, not some criminal. I know how you robots are." He grumbled, since a Penny had reported him to CPS before while disciplining Natsuki. As such he hated the robots, who were required to report violent crimes. Especially against children. Even if it is against their owners wishes.

"Sir, you should probably get the police. Since you seem unable to catch her." Penny suggested, knowing that if he was lying he would not want the police involved.

Natsukis father did not want the police involved, but he was not going to let this Penny get him reported like the last one so he called 911 and reported Natsuki as a runaway. He hated to do this especially knowing that the cops would have a CPS agent question natsuki and find out why she kept running away.

Putting his phone down, he looked up and saw Penny was in his car.

"Hey!"

"Dont worry sir, I will park this back at your house! You must be too tired to drive after after all that!" And she drove off with him screaming obscenities and chasing after until the pickup got away. Penny knew this was illegal but also knew that he was probably going to be able to catch Natsuki Nagasaki eventually using his pickup to continue following her until she was exhausted. So Penny decided to take the risk for the sake of her moral programming, as she still believed he was a danger to the child.

[justauthoring]

Stuck Between (6/8)

THIS IS A SERIES: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - final

Tag’s List: @fralackles - @epicfallenismine - @interwebseriesfan24 - @weasleyswizarding-wheezes - @chaostheoryy - @harryhooksgazebos267- @agirlwithlonelymusic - @waywardskylo - @exoticxstyles - @keiko0 - @worldsroses - @hostofthefirenation - @victim-of-wonderland - @fandomingforever - @winchesterdirective - @princenyaz - @blood-roses-and-bands - @eliza-hamilton-helpless - @vashnner - @mockingjaycello - @themistressofallevil - @dead-punk-ghost - @soliddude - @silvermisst - @bingewatchingmylifegoby - @omgitzbrandy- @joebobisachickenfart - @reniescarlett - @andthenhebowed - @nevaeh-potter15 - @theroleplayer-gameaddiction- @quickies-with-quicksilver - @lilacs-lavender - @the-pastel-badger - @kennedy-christl - @sunset-inthe-rearview - @kylo-ren-is-my-supreme-leader - @thatcrazybookwormgeek - @somanyfandomsiforgot2count - @mysticmessworld - @hanktheswaggyhonkeydonkey - @adrenaline-scream - @5sosfan77 - @maria-tifa - @maggieluvesu - @i-ship-it-ironically - @eboni-napalm-joestar - @its-zarah - @dangerous-fork - @violaclara - @dxxkxx - @imagine-that-star-wars - @paulinka97  bolded is who i couldn’t tag! Let me know if you’d like to be added!

Prompt: It was never a choice - rather a given. Yet the guilt flooded you, betraying all that had ever loved you. He was enticing and exciting and he brought a side out of you that you never knew had existed.

Warnings: please send ideas for where i could go further with this story. i don’t know why but im really struggling writing this one and when i feel like i have an idea, it gets lost in my head. if you guys could send me your ideas that would mean the world to me.

please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that. If you want to repost my work. please ask first - but even then I might say no.

Kylo had told you, you could see him. Finally given you the chance to leave that Godforsaken room that was only filled with the memories of your betrayal, and said you could see Poe.

It seemed odd - that now of all times he’d allowed you. Kylo had only just gotten the both of you in his grasp and if you remembered correctly, Kylo had made it clear that he didn’t mean to let you out of his grasp. You also knew, that despite everything, you wanted to see Poe and Kylo knew that. Maybe Kylo really did care...

Every hallway looked the same and as you walked you couldn’t remember which way you turned or walked. Kylo had even trusted you enough to not lock your wrists in any restraints and no stormtroopers walked with you two. It was completely and utterly just you and Kylo - yet he remained silent. You would’ve figured, after what had just happened, that he would say something.

But he said nothing - Kylo even seemed a little angry, though you couldn’t imagine why.

But when you thought about it, Kylo was a mystery to you. You didn’t truly understand the man, or his actions and often he left you wandering in your own mind of confusion. Thinking back on it, you never were able to understand why he did the things he has - mind you, you hadn’t known the Kylo before he joined the dark side but the idea of betraying everything you ever loved... 

Shaking your head, you rid yourself of those thoughts - you hadn’t betrayed the people you loved. What you did with Kylo didn’t confirm anything. 

You continued walking further and further down many hallways until you came across the same bleak and dark hallway that you and Poe had been caught in. If you thought about it, the cell before you even looked like the one Kylo had walked through back then. But you weren’t sure if that was just your mind playing tricks on you considering they all looked the same.

You wrung your hands together, suddenly nervous to see Poe but you couldn’t explain why.

Kylo glanced at you briefly before taking a step forward - soon enough, the door slid open after Kylo pressed a series of numbers that you desperately tried to remember. But the moment your eyes turned to glance inside the cell, your heart yearning for the sight of Poe, you found nothing.

The chair you assumed Poe had been locked in was empty and the stormtroopers that had been watching him, laid on the ground, unconscious. Your eyes widened and you felt joy flood through you - Poe had gotten away. That was the only explanation. If anything else had happened to him, you’re sure Kylo would’ve known considering he is the Supreme Leader.

Kylo suddenly shifted and you were reminded at the fact that he was beside you. You took a step back when he spun to you, his eyes dark with the anger and frustration he felt. You didn’t say a word, and instead held your hand against your chest in worry and stared at up him.

“Damn it!” He yelled, his voice dangerously low. You flinched when he slammed his fist against the wall next to the cell, creating a tiny hole within it. Your eyes widened and you took another step back in self defence, but Kylo’s eyes snapped to yours and you realized he must of thought you were trying to run away.

His eyes were dark with rage, and for a moment you feared that Kylo would go back on his word and in fact hurt you. But instead they softened the moment he heard you gasp out, and his fist left the crater he’d made in the wall to signal stormtroopers who had been passing by - they were quick to rush over. You felt your body slink into itself, intimidated by the many men who surrounded you and in your vulnerable state, could quite easily hurt you.

“Yes, Supreme Leader?” One of them said, holding their blasters at the ready.

“The pilot escaped,” Kylo slowly said, seething. “Take Y/N to my room, and keep her there.”

Your heart fell with realization.

“Should we cuff her?”

You met Kylo’s eyes; “no.” He said slowly, “just- just take her to my room.”

One of the stormtroopers made their way over to you, grabbing ahold of your upper arm. “Yes, Supreme Leader.” They turned to walked away, leading you with them but your eyes stayed behind you on Kylo. You couldn’t exactly describe the feeling that spread through you, but by the look in his gaze you knew he knew -

“Oh, and whatever you do,” Kylo started and you paused along with the stormtroopers. “Do not let the pilot take her.”

Poe would try to save you first before ever escaping.

It felt like you were outside your body, watching you walk further and further from Kylo all while your eyes stayed on him. They didn’t leave until he moved and became a small, distant figure to you. If Poe tried to save you, Kylo hoped to be able to catch him again then - you knew. You just didn’t know that if things worked out the way Kylo wanted them to, he’d prove to Poe just what had happened.

You were led down the many hallways you’d just passed. You didn’t fight the stormtroopers, knowing better. You may not be restrained but you had no weapons, a attempt of escaping on your own would be useless. Besides, at the moment you weren’t sure if you did want to escape...

The entire walk was eerily silent - but you imagined stormtroopers didn’t talk often unless allowed to.

It wasn’t until you nearly reached Kylo’s room, which was shortly becoming yours, was the silence interrupted. Suddenly the stormtrooper on your right was gone, and glancing beside you, you saw him fall to the ground with a thud. A gasp escaped your lips, and looking up, you found Poe before you. You thought you’d feel relief, but you only felt dread.

“Y/N!” He called, “get down!” You didn’t hesitate listening, crouching down with your hands over your head. The stormtrooper behind you fell with a thud and you glanced up, seeing Poe make his way over to you. You straightened yourself, up glancing both ways for any witnesses before meeting Poe halfway.

Almost immediately his hands came up to cup your face, cradling you. “Did he hurt you?” Poe immediately asked, and the guilt grew the moment you saw the worry behind his eyes. “He didn’t do anythin-”

“No,” you whispered, your voice cracking because of the guilt - Poe only assumed it was because of relief. “No, i’m fine. How... How did you get free?” 

“My guards...” Poe started, smirking proudly. “They were idiots, practically let me out themselves. The moment I was out, I begun searching for you.”

You frowned at his words.

“Is everything okay?” Poe asked, pulling you closer.

You smiled the best you could; “yes - yes. We should get-”

“Going.” Poe nodded, pulling away so he could lean down to grasp your hand. You smiled at him, running along with him. You didn’t know where you were going but Poe seemed to have a pretty good idea. 

You continued running, until you were at a doorway that led to the shuttle pod down below. You leaned over the edge, watching the many First Order guards and soldiers walking around in union. You suddenly paused as realization fell over you. “How are we gonna get out of here?” You whispered hushed, leaning back against the wall as a team of stormtroopers ran by. “Kylo sent out stormtroopers for you - they’ll be everywhere.”

Poe glanced at you, furrowing his brows in confusion on how you knew that but you didn’t know that.

“When Finn helped me escape, there was a shuttle pod we escape in. We have to get into one of those.”

Glancing behind you, you paused in your thoughts, the sudden feeling that something was going to go terribly wrong. “Yeah, but you had Finn then - how are we suppose to get in there?”

Poe paused, running with you as you made it to the other side. Huffing, he looked around; “i’m not sure...”

You sighed, looking around for some kind of solution but the moment you looked away from Poe, the familiar whooshing sound went past your ears. You froze, Poe’s words drowning in the background as Kylo appeared before you. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you squeezed Poe’s hand instinctively as you slowly glanced up to meet Kylo’s gaze.

“Y/N-” Kylo started, but you shut your eyes, focusing on everything within you to block out him. It hurt you, and you hated it - hated that blocking him out pained you so much. Why? Why did you feel this way?

When you opened your eyes, Kylo was still there and he looked less than pleased. “I see where you are-”

“Y/N!” You flinched, Poe’s voice finally registering in your mind again. You snapped your head over to him, finding confused and concerned eyes staring back at you.

When Kylo’s words finally registered in your mind, you felt your heart plummet. “We have to go.” You suddenly whispered, and Poe’s brows furrowed as his eyes narrowed. “What? Why?”

“Kylo knows we’re here,” you breathed, your voice frantic. “He’ll be here any minute. We have to-” You pulled on the Poe’s hand, trying to yank him the other way but he stayed put. It was your turn to narrow your eyes this time, glancing back at him in utter bafflement. “What are you doing Poe? We need-”

“How do you know that?” Poe asked, his voice suddenly dark.

“What? Poe, we-”

“How do you know that Kylo’s coming here?” Poe repeated, this time more clear. You froze, your throat suddenly closing in on you. “How do you know he’s coming here right now?”

“Poe-”

“No, Y/N,” Poe interrupted, and his hand left yours abruptly. You gasped, shocked by his harsh movements. You watched him with terror in his eyes, watching as he paced, taking a few steps away from you as his hands fell on his hips with hesitancy. “Kylo said something to me...” Your heart plummeted - you weren’t a fool, you knew what Kylo said. “He went into my mind and saw what happened that day - between us... it angered him, I couldn’t understand why. But then he said...” Poe paused, as if he couldn’t belief his own words. “He said that you and him...”

Your jaw tightened and you felt your eyes well with your own tears. You’d tried to push it off for so long now, pretend that the feelings you’d felt weren’t true and pretended that Poe nor anyone else would never find out. Then you and Kylo had... and you’d done the same thing. But now Poe knew and - and you couldn’t lie anymore.

“Poe-” You whispered, your voice cracking as you took a step towards him. Poe only backed up and you paused, the guilt destroying you. 

“Just tell me.” Poe said, his voice suddenly emotionless. “Just tell me - is it true?”

“I just wanted to-”

“Is it true?!” Poe yelled, but the end of it ended in a whisper as he faltered in his step. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded.

Poe sighed, rapidly and shook his head, taking a step back. Your eyes narrowed as you tried to fight back the tears that desperately wanted to fall. You’d felt guilt this entire time, but seeing Poe’s eyes fall with hurt and betrayal, you couldn’t stand yourself. You bit your lip, standing there motionless, as if frozen, while your face grew pale.

“I loved you,” Poe suddenly whispered and your eyes fell shut. 

“There they are.” Your eyes snapped open and you turned around to see Kylo and a group of stormtroopers making their way over to the two of you. Poe immediately raised his blaster but with one swipe of his hand, Kylo sent it away. You felt fear run through, but not for yourself, but Poe.

The stormtroopers stepped forward, blasters raised and Kylo made his way over to you. You didn’t fight him, and shuffled his way as he dragged you.

“Another mistake, fool.” Kylo spat, once he had you were he wanted you. Poe glared back, clenching his fists in denial. 

“If you’re gonna kill me, kill me.” Poe spat, “because i’m not going back in that cell.”

“If dying is what you wish,” Kylo said and your heart rate sped up rapidly. Eyes widening, you watched Kylo signal a stormtrooper over and almost immediately he pointed his blaster at Poe. “Then dying is what you’ll get.”

You watched from your spot next to Kylo, as that one Godforsaken stormtrooper marched it’s way over to Poe. You couldn’t breathe, watching him grow nearer and nearer until the blaster was directly over Poe’s chest. Poe didn’t even meet your gaze and all you could see was the betrayal behind his eyes.

Poe always looked brave and confident but in that one moment he looked utterly and completely destroyed.

“Wait!” You suddenly screamed, your voice piercing the silence. “Wait please! Kylo!” You turned to Kylo, pressing your hand against his chest as you desperately fought his grip that just wouldn’t leave your arm.

Kylo met your gaze, frustration evident before he reluctantly nodded, signalling the stormtrooper to back down. You let out a breath of relief, stepping back the moment Kylo let go of your arm. “What?” Kylo spat, “and choose your words very carefully.”

“I’ll stay-” You started.

Kylo only laughed, “you already will be staying.”

You shook your head, making your way back over to Poe who only looked at you in utter confusion. “No, I mean, i’ll stay here with you and do whatever you want. I won’t fight, I won’t argue and I won’t try to get away. I’ll stay here, by your side and be the woman you want me to be.”

“If?” Kylo immediately asked.

“If you let Poe go.”

Poe’s eyes widened; “Y/N-” You snapped your head around at him, shaking your head as a silent warning.

“He’ll just come back for you.” Kylo said, shaking his head. 

“Poe won’t come back for me,” you said, shaking your head. 

“Like hell I won’t,” Poe spat, stepping forward despite the many guns pointing at him. You met his gazed with a warning but Poe only continued. “Y/N, no mattered what happened between the two of you I will not let you stay he-”

“You have to.” You interrupted, your voice leaving no room for arguments. “You have to if you want to live.”

“Life isn’t worth living without you.” Poe whispered, desperate for you to understand.

“I don’t love you.” You whispered, meeting his gaze. You did your best to hold your gaze strong, not letting your thoughts wander unless Kylo decided he wanted to have a look. Because even if you didn’t love Poe like that anymore, you still cared for him - you always would. “I never had. There is no point of you trying to save me. I want to be with Kylo.”

Poe looked shocked, almost heartbroken and you knew part of him wanted to believe you were just lying. But you only held your confident gaze. “Y/N-”

“I don’t love you,” you repeated. 

Poe paused and his eyes found the rest, meeting Kylo’s, Poe wavered over his life or his death. Taking a step away from you, Poe held his hands up in surrender; “fine then. I won’t come back for you.”

You turned to Kylo, desperate for him to agree.

Kylo only shook his head; “his word means nothing to me.”

You sighed, shaking your head as you took daring steps toward him. Leaning in, you softly whispered; “if you care about me like you say you do, then... you’ll let him go.”

Kylo paused, as if thinking it over. “No fighting?”

You shook your head. “no fighting.”

After a moment of deafening silence, Kylo nodded. You didn’t show it on the outside, but your body flooded with relief. Waving at the stormtroopers, Kylo said; “take him to a escape pod. Give him everything he needs to escape and make sure everyone knows i’ve allowed him free.”

The stormtroopers nodded and you watched with a tiny smile as Poe was led away. You met his eyes one final time before his figure disappeared from your sight.

more? 

this chapter was so fun to write and i want to say thank you to everyone who sent in suggestions, they were great and i plan to include all of them!! tell me, also, some feedback on this chapter!

[primadonnatartuffe]

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] began pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 17:32 -- 

IV: ryan 

IV: actually nevermind 

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] gave up pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 17:34 -- 

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering impenetrableVitality [IV] at 17:34 --  

PT: um NO you cant just pull that shit. 

PT: once you got me youre stuck with me. 

PT: whats up finnberly???

IV: oh uh 

IV: i don't know

PT: k... 

PT: well i wanna chat anyway. 

PT: im having a pretty choice day today. :100: :ok_hand:

PT: sipping this drank of the cafe variety. :coffee:

IV: that's good 

IV: do you mean coffee

PT: yessiree. courtesy of the coffee can. i fuckin love this place.

IV: where is it though

PT: downtown on skaia. around where my usual haunts are.

IV: is that place 

IV: like 

IV: okay

PT: liiiike? safe?? is that what youre asking?

IV: yeah i guess

PT: its all good in this hood. :heart:

IV: are you by yourself

PT: yeeees. currently.

IV: are you eating anything 

IV: are you by yourself by yourself or by yourself with people around

PT: there are people around yeah. in the restaurant. 

PT: otherwise its just me and mr coffee.

IV: maybe ask a few people if they know cpr

PT: finn... baby... 

PT: im not gonna choke on my coffee.

IV: no i mean just in case

IV: it might be good

PT: in case of what?

IV: in case there's 

IV: i don't know 

IV: a cardiac emergency 

IV: do they have an aed there 

IV: maybe you should make sure they do

PT: finn... 

PT: are you alright sweetie? you seem like youre freaking out a little.

IV: i'm fine 

IV: i just think it's important that people are educated

PT: it sure is!!! but i think its fine.

IV: well it's easy to think that

IV: i just want to make sure

PT: of course. no problemo. 

PT: but hey lets talk about something else!!! 

PT: guess what happened to me last night.

IV: are you okay

PT: yes FINN. im great in fact. :blush:

IV: oh

IV: are you sure

PT: YES FINN!!!!!!!

PT: this is me trying to share GOOD news.

IV: okay tell me

PT: well. 

PT: well well WELL well WELL.

PT: me and jack are kiiiinda back together.

IV: oh

IV: wow

IV: that's great

PT: I KNOW RIGHT.

IV: is he okay

PT: shit he better be amazing cuz hes got me.

IV: you have a point

PT: I KNOW RIGHT.

IV: right

PT: in general tho he seems fine.

IV: they have an aed

PT: what??

IV: i called the place

IV: they have one

IV: in case you were wondering

PT: ... 

PT: umm okay i wasnt but... 

PT: are you sure youre alright??

IV: do you know how to use one IV: that's okay it tells you how to use one anyway

IV: it literally talks to you

PT: :confused:

PT: okay i definitely know youre not alright cuz youre ignoring me!!!!

IV: no i just need to tell you that

IV: it's by the bathroom

PT: duly noted. 

PT: finnnnn.

IV: yeah

PT: talk to me. youre acting weird.

IV: 30 chest compressions 2 rescue breaths 

IV: you can use it for a lot of things  

IV: maybe the people around you should know too

PT: I DIDNT MEAN TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT.

IV: sorry

IV: oh you have to open the airway too don't forget that

PT: mmmmmmmoh my god.

IV: does jack know

IV: i should tell him

PT: youre starting to worry me... 

PT: dont make me call colt.

IV: you don't need to call him he's fine 

IV: i'm fine 

IV: it's fine

PT: are you sure something isnt going on??

IV: i don't know

PT: tell me whats going on in your head right now.

IV: i don't know 

IV: i'm

IV: this was a mistake

IV: another one on top of another one that everybody saw coming

PT: nooo baby its fine.

PT: you fuss at me just lemme fuss at you. 

PT: its the law of equivalent friend exchange.

IV: he was right the whole time

IV: what am i doing

PT: who?? ill fight him.

IV: i'm not really different am all am i 

IV: i'm just 

IV: doing the same things

PT: :frowning2:

IV: i'll probably ruin her life and think i'm helping her but i'm not

IV: i have to go

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] gave up pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 20:36 --

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering impenetrableVitality [IV] at 20:38 --  

PT: no you dont!! hey! 

PT: finn listen. 

PT: you can talk to me alright? 

PT: if you feel like a fuck up just know youre talking to the Ultimate fuck up so im the last person who would ever judge you for whatever is going on in your head. 

PT: i wanna listen... i wanna be more helpful... 

PT: come on. please?

IV: i need to go i have to

IV: i have to stop doing this

IV: i have to stop

PT: hey hey. 

PT: it doesnt work that way alright?? 

PT: shit happens sometimes. 

PT: but it passes too... yeah? 

PT: i fucked up last night too finn. 

PT: i started drinking again... but i know for a fact it couldve wound up way worse. 

PT: and im okay! im gonna be okay even if i slipped up. you know what i mean? its the same with you.

IV: i brought an innocent life into all of my shit 

IV: i have to make sure she's safe 

IV: she's not safe with me

PT: baby youre doing a great job with her!! anybody can see that. 

PT: just because youre sick doesnt mean you gotta stop living your life. 

PT: youve got friends whove got your back... and theres nothing wrong with that. 

PT: shit i mean we were all basically raised by our parents friends along with our parents too right??? shes got the same kind of environment. i cant think of any place safer than where she is right now.

IV: i don't know 

IV: i don't want to keep hurting people

PT: i know... it sucks. 

PT: but its gonna be okay. i promise.

IV: fuck

PT: yeah let all your fucks out.

IV: i think i need help 

IV: i'm by myself right now 

IV: well me and sofia 

IV: i think i

IV: need to

IV: something i don't know

PT: well hey i can come over if you want.

IV: please

PT: okay gimme like... 45 mins or so since colts gotta live in the middle of bfe. 

PT: ill be RIGHT over. hang in there.

IV: okay the door is IV: is it locked or unlocked 

IV: i should know this 

IV: oh no

PT: i figure colt locks the door when he leaves. so just lemme in when i get there! 

PT: okay message me if you need to but im omw. 

RYAN: -pockets her device, fleeing the coffee shop and making her way to the transportalizer hub. with a quick zap she's on odimist, but the longer neck of her journey is getting a cab out to colt's place. she arrives at her estimated time... give or take a few minutes, but probably give, but of course no one can ever arrive early during emergencies. still, she's here, and she's knocking on the door while also texting finn that she's here.-

FINN: -his fingers feel numb and so do his his toes and so does his mouth in a weird way, but that's probably due to how messed up his breathing is. he's terrified he's going to drop sofia, that his arms will just give out from underneath her, so it's taking him a long time to get to the door-

RYAN: -that's fine... she can be patient... but not really. she peeps through the front window to see if she can spot him anywhere inside.-

FINN: -she can. He's mostly still other than the tiny steps he's taking and the steps he's taking backwards before he goes forward again. it makes sense in his head,  somehow-

RYAN: -frowns through the window at him. does she wait? does she try something else? she's REALLY not good at this, but dammit she's trying. she taps on the window now?? maybe that'll snap him out of it long enough to get her in there.-

FINN: -he looks up suddenly at the window tapping and has an expression of embarrassment on his face before he looks around frantically and just holds sofia closer as he goes to open the door. Finally, the door opens-

RYAN: -SUCCESS. she scurries over, looking up at him with big concerned eyes.- heeey buddy. 

RYAN: im here now.

FINN: hi 

FINN: sorry

RYAN: -flaps a hand- its all good. 

RYAN: hey sofia. -smiles a little at her and then kinda dances around finn to get inside.-

SOFIA: -stares at Ryan- 

FINN: -just looks really frazzled- i uh 

FINN: um

RYAN: -puts a hand on his back and starts rubbing in small circles.- shhh its cool. 

RYAN: maybe we should sit down??

FINN: -he takes a moment and nods before looking down at the baby again- yeah probably

RYAN: -starts guiding him to the couch.- alright alright alriiiight. 

RYAN: -plops down and plops her hand on the cushion next to her.-

FINN: -sits carefully- 

FINN: i need to wash my hands 

FINN: you need to wash your hands

RYAN: huh?? oh... because of the baby? 

RYAN: i can do that now... then we can trade off and you can go wash your hands?

FINN: do you remember how to hold her RYAN: yeah yeah of course. -gets up and scurries over to the kitchen to wash her hands in the sink, quickly returning to them.-

RYAN: okay i got this.

FINN: -he looks so worried but he carefully hands her over to ryan- you got her RYAN: i got her finn. i promise. -coos at the baby as she takes her.-

RYAN: hi again sofia. did you miss me? FINN: -watches the two of them as he leaves the room and bumps into the wall before disappearing into the kitchen to wash his hands. he returns after a few minutes.- maybe we should change 

SOFIA: -subtly wiggles- RYAN: nah... besides were all cozy here right? -snuggles sofia- we can relax. FINN: maybe we should though 

FINN: just in case 

FINN: the fabric is laced with deadly germs RYAN: -gazes at him a little bit- yeah... nah... that doesnt just happen. i think its cool. FINN: remember smallpox blankets RYAN: ... noooo?? FINN: it was a thing

RYAN: well thats cool but! pretty sure were good.

RYAN: lets talk about something else okay?

FINN: -sits back down and his fingers are digging into the couch cushion- RYAN: ...

RYAN: actually i think im gonna sing something.

RYAN: what do you wanna hear baby?

FINN: who RYAN: you. the bigger baby. FINN: oh

FINN: i don't think i have a great taste in music RYAN: okay i know youre tone deaf but you can still like music. everybody does.

RYAN: but alright leave it to me.

RYAN: just focus on listening alright? FINN: okay RYAN: -takes a breath- i know i havent been perfect but give it some time.

RYAN: cuz not a single day goes by where you dont cross my mind.

RYAN: and we spend our lives looking for things we cant find.

RYAN: oh but not a single day goes by where you dont cross my mind.

RYAN: all the days you spend on my mind.

RYAN: all the times that id say that well be together. well be together oh.

RYAN: all the ways you see through my heart.

RYAN: i know the good intentions they won't last forever wont last forever.

FINN: -listens to her sing and watches her, trying to focus on her voice and not anything else. it's beautiful- 

SOFIA: -YAAAAAS this is great. she gurgles-

RYAN: -smiles down at sofia.- all the hours weve spent on the line.

RYAN: all the times that youd say that i never listen i never listen

RYAN: through the conversations weve had til 4 am.

RYAN: you say you want something different want something different.

RYAN: and i know i havent been perfect but give it some time.

RYAN: cuz not a single day goes by where you dont cross my mind.

RYAN: and we spend our lives looking for things we cant find.

RYAN: oh but not a single day goes by where you dont cross my mind. -looks over at finn when she's done.-

FINN: -he looks calmer now. If not just a little- that was 

FINN: really nice

RYAN: -smiles softly.- yeah i know haha. 

RYAN: thanks man.

SOFIA: aaaaa 

FINN: did you just inherit a good singing voice

RYAN: haha i mean kinda? but it takes a lot of training too.

FINN: i think i'm untrainable

RYAN: i mean... we cant ALL be fabulous singers.

FINN: that would probably get a little annoying

RYAN: yeah man. i wouldnt feel very special haha... singing is basically all im good at.

FINN: that's not true 

SOFIA: nnnnn

RYAN: -bounces sofia a little in her arms, cooing at her.- 

RYAN: well i never pass up the opportunity to hear about myself sooo tell me what else im good at. :wink:

SOFIA: -wow this is the best time of her life- 

FINN: it's a long list but okay 

FINN: good at livening up a party good at being a good friend good at doing hair and makeup good at acting good with sofia good at not giving up

RYAN: -oh... dammit. why does she ask this stuff if she doesn't want sappy sentimental answers? she laughs a little and sighs.- ... thanks finn.

FINN: you're welcome 

 FINN: it's true

RYAN: -sniff... ugh. she's been feeling an awful lot of emotions these past couple days. she didn't ASK for this. accepting genuine, heartfelt compliments is hard so she tries to just focus on one. one thing she's curious about.- 

RYAN: you think im good with sofia?

FINN: well yeah FINN: -his expression softens- you're kind of a natural FINN: she loves you

RYAN: well the feeling is mutual sofia. -grins lopsided at her.- 

RYAN: i do kinda... like kids more than i would expect if someone like me. i dunno...

SOFIA: -good bitch you better love me- 

FINN: that's why assumptions are stupid

RYAN: troo. 

RYAN: ... maybe id have fun being a mom.

FINN: you can babysit her sometime if you want

RYAN: yeah? alright. 

RYAN: just call me whenever. not like im ever busy.

FINN: come on you have to be busy sometimes

RYAN: busy being SEXY sure.

FINN: -smiles a little- entertaining jack is that time consuming huh

RYAN: PFF no way i make him entertain me. 

RYAN: i only have to rely on my sexy personality around him since he cant see shit.

FINN: oh yes makes perfect sense

RYAN: -snickers- ... you know its kind of surreal. 

RYAN: like how naturally we kinda fell into it but... 

RYAN: -sighs- were both scared too?? and thats like... a reality of the situation we arent sure how to deal with. does that make sense??

FINN: -looks off for a moment- i know exactly what you mean

RYAN: yeah... 

RYAN: i just want it to work.

RYAN: i really feel like it could if i just... knew what to do.

FINN: -he looks off- yeah 

FINN: i uh 

FINN: i get it 

FINN: i might be going through the same thing

RYAN: -glances at him- yeah?

FINN: -his cheeks redden a little bit- yeah

RYAN: :eyes:

FINN: -scratches his head nervously- yeah i 

 FINN: saw emilet again

RYAN: oh reeeeally?

FINN: -HE'S SO RED- yeah 

FINN: i did -he saw a LOT of emilet-

RYAN: heheh aww finn. always getting up to something. 

RYAN: guess this means we can flail at each other while we flounder through familiar but tumultuous waters. 

 RYAN: be my lifeboat hombre.

FINN: okay

FINN: if you'll be mine

RYAN: -smiles, soft and sincere.- of course.

FINN: -smiles a little, taking a breath- colt's not 

FINN: too happy about it 

FINN: but things are different this time

RYAN: hes a grumpy gus anyway. 

RYAN: ... a neigh sayer if you will. 

RYAN: but man whatever floobs your boobs. even if it isnt different its your decision to make you know?

FINN: -he nods- you know the person that just 

FINN: you're with them and you know they're important to you 

FINN: then you're away from them 

FINN: and then when you're back in the same room you realize they were always the most important person to you a ll along

RYAN: -she laughs a little.- shit i mean yeah. 

RYAN: except for me its more like i definitely repressed all those feelings like every day until we were in the same room together. 

RYAN: and hes looking so different but so good and its like. 

RYAN: well fuck me i guess. 

RYAN: in every sense.

FINN: -laughs a little too- been there done that

RYAN: come on finn that goes without saying. 

RYAN: youre like the sluttiest person i know. and thats coming from ME.

FINN: -just slowly shrugs and smiles-

RYAN: -SNRRRKKK- goddammit finn!! -elbows him as best she can with a baby in her arms.-

FINN: ow hey 

FINN: you're the most violent person i know

RYAN: thats right bitch. ill fuck you up.

FINN: not with her you won't

RYAN: damn... true.

SOFIA: -whines a little and scrunches up her face-

RYAN: aw sofia im not really gonna fuck him up. 

RYAN: (im just telling her that to relax her.) -snickers and bounces her a little though.- 

RYAN: you think shes tired?

SOFIA: -starts to cry. life is hard- 

FINN: that or hungry or she needs to be changed 

 FINN: that girl can eat 

FINN: que paso sofia

RYAN: oh shit. good. 

RYAN: youre a growin girl. -smiles at finn, glad he's really calmed down now.- 

RYAN: want her back?

FINN: -puts his arms out- yeah sure 

FINN: she's probably tired 

SOFIA: -she's tired and upset about it-

RYAN: bet youre tired too. -hands sofia off to him carefully.-

FINN: -takes this cute little sad baby into his arms and he feels so much better about it than he did before- yeah 

FINN: but she has to sleep first

RYAN: naturally. 

RYAN: ... can i come with you when you put her to bed? -strangely curious about this routine.-

FINN: -looks over at ryan for a moment and then smiles- sure

RYAN: cool. cool cool cool. -smiles a little back-

FINN: -stands up and shooshes sofia- follow me

RYAN: -rises to her feet, hovering closely- :eyes:

FINN: -walks into sofia's room where he flips on the light. this is such a baby room, with a lot of pastel colors and a very secure crib. there are a lot of stuffed animals in the crib, but not so much that it affects her sleeping. his first stop is the changing table, where he takes the crying baby and sets her down- don't feel obligated to watch this part

[allofbeercom]

‘Crude, but rarely nasty’: The jokes Europeans tell about their neighbours

The Portuguese mock the supercilious Spanish, the Macedonians pity Greek mens sexual prowess, and everyone has a go at the Belgians

Europe is the migrant crisis, the Greek crisis, the euro crisis. It is the CAP, Ecofin and Eurostat. It is Schengen suspended, anti-Europeans on the march, and the imminent threat of Brexit.

But it is also the Finns who snicker at overbearing Swedes (Whats the difference between the Swedes and the Finns? The Swedes have got nice neighbours); and the Portuguese, who mock Spanish arrogance (In a recent survey, 11 out of 10 Spaniards said they felt superior to the others).

There are the Irish, who joke about buttoned-up Brits (Whats the English definition of a thrill? Having an After Eight at 7.30); and the Poles, who have a go at the Germans for pretty much anything (German footballers are like German food: if theyre not imported from Poland theyre no good).

Making fun of our best enemies, said Romain Seignovert, who has just published a book on the jokes Europeans tell about their neighbours, is a great European tradition. We are a big, diverse community with a centuries-long common history of highs and lows, and our humour reflects that, he says.

After Eight mints: be a devil, have one before supper! Photograph: Alamy

De Qui Se Moque-t-On (Who do we make fun of?) features 345 jokes, many contributed by readers of Seignoverts blog, Europeisnotdead. A 29-year-old Frenchman who studied in Spain and Germany and now lives in Brussels, Seignovert said thejokes underlined the adage that teasing is a sign of affection. Some of them are pretty crude and unsubtle, but theyre rarely downright nasty.

Thus the Estonians laugh at the hopelessly shy Finns (How do you tell an extrovert Finn? Its your shoes hes looking at, not his). The Macedonians giggle at the (lack of) machismo of Greek men: If you knew how to cook and clean, says a Greek husband to his wife, I wouldnt need a maid. If you knew how to make love, replies the wife, I wouldnt need a Macedonian lover.

The only exception are the Italians, who rather endearingly make jokes mainly about themselves: Your wife cracked such a good joke the other day, I almost fell out of bed. Notice on an Italian bus: dont talk to the driver, he needs his hands.

Otherwise, though, the Belgians love nothing better than teasing the penny-pinching Dutch: (How do all Dutch recipes begin? Borrow six eggs, 200g of flour, half a litre of milk or Why do the Dutch make so many jokes about the Belgians? Because theyre cheap)

And pretty much all their neighbours finds the Belgians a tiny bit slow: Why do Belgians have pommes frites, while the Arab world has oil? Because the Belgians got to choose first. And What do Belgian mothers do when the babys bathwater is too hot? Put on a pair of gloves.

There is a deeper point. Ultimately, Seignovert said, laughing at our neighbours is recognising, even celebrating, our particularities. It shows were not indifferent. Europe isnt just political and economic, its also cultural about all these nations, living together. The EU hasnt made enough of that.

That may be true. But Seignovert, remember, is French, so what he says should clearly not be taken too seriously. In the words of one particularly fine Belgian quip: How does a Frenchman commit suicide? By shooting 15cm above his head, right in the middle of his superiority complex.

Them and us: more cross-border barbs from Seignovert

Other Brits on the (tight-fisted) Scots:

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are planning a party. Ill bring six pints of bitter, says the Englishman. Ill bring six pints of Guinness, says the Irishman. Ill bring six friends, says the Scot.

The Belgians on the (parsimonious) Dutch:

Dutch husband to Dutch wife: Put your coat on, dear. Why, darling, are we going out? No, I am. So Ill just turn the heating off.

The Portuguese on the (supercilious) Spanish:

Dad, says a Spanish boy to his father, when Im grown up I want to be just like you. Thats nice, son. Why? So I can have a son like me!

The Italians on themselves:

Three reasons Jesus is an Italian: only an Italian son would live with his mama till he was 30. Only an Italian son could think his mama was still a virgin. Only an Italian mama could think her son was God.

The Belgians on the (arrogant) French:

Why did the French choose the cockerel as their national symbol? Because its the only animal that sings when its knee-deep in shit.

The Swedes on the (dim-witted) Norwegians:

Why do Norwegians have such greasy hair? Theyve let their oil go to their heads.

The Danes on the (overbearing) Swedes:

Whats the best ever thing to have come to us from Sweden? An empty ferry.

The Estonians on the (hard-drinking) Finns:

Two Finns meet up for the first time in years. So how are you? asks Pekka. Ahti grunts and orders a beer. And hows the family? asks Pekka. Ahti grunts and orders another beer. And hows work? asks Pekka, three pints later. Look, says Ahti, did we come here to drink, or to talk?

The Germans on the (thieving) Poles:

When is it Christmas in Poland? Two days after Christmas in Germany.

The Swiss on the (not very bright) Austrians:

Why is the Austrian flag red-white-red? So they dont get too confused when they hoist it.

The Austrians on the (boring) Germans:

The main difference between Austrians and the Germans is that Germans would like to understand Austrians but cant, and Austrians understand Germans but would rather not.

The Slovaks on the (despised) Czechs:

What does a Czech need to be happy? Not much, as long as everyone else has got less.

The Romanians on the (mean-spirited) Hungarians:

Ive had all the tests, and the doctor tells me theres no question, Im xenophobic. Thats another bloody illness the Hungarians have given me.

The Ukrainians on the (filthy rich but stupid) Russians:

Ive just bought a tie for $3,000. Idiot! You could have bought the same one just down the street for $5,000.

The Macedonians on the (corrupt) Greeks:

A Greek motorist parks his car outside the parliament in Athens. You cant park here, says the cop. This is where our politicians work. Thats OK, says the motorist. Its fitted with an alarm.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/crude-but-rarely-nasty-the-jokes-europeans-tell-about-their-neighbours/

[primadonnatartuffe]

RYAN: *after hanging out with orchid, ryan's been feeling a little lighter, and leaving skaia to visit people has become that much easier. so with that feeling of freedom, she decides to stop by odimist again. she drapes on colt for a little while before she devotes her time to finn and his new baby. she's just as gorgeous as in the photos, and during the visit, she's found she's really quite fond of hanging out with tiny babies... they're in the living room at colt and little's place, and ryan has lounging with this bundle in her arms for a while now.*

RYAN: hmm sofia sofia... are there any songs about a girl named sofia? there should be.

FINN: -finn's sitting next to the two of them and it's so cute watching sofia get to know ryan. sofia's looking pretty comfortable and staring up at ryan- no but you can replace any song with shakira with sofia

RYAN: ooooh yeah there you go.

RYAN: lets sing beautiful liar.

RYAN: i can be beyonce and sofia can be shakira.

RYAN: ryonce ryonce sofia sofia.

RYAN: lets not kill the karma. lets not start a fight. its not worth the drama for a beautiful liiiaar.

FINN: -sofia gurgles-

RYAN: yeah girl there you go.

RYAN: *snickers*

FINN: already she's more musically inclined than me

RYAN: stick with me kid and well keep you on the right track. *smiles wide at baby*

FINN: -sofia smiles back for a good two seconds and wiggles her arms-

RYAN: uggh shes so cute.

FINN: -he's laughing a little and smiling because he loves this baby so much- i know

FINN: you'd think i'd be used to it by now

RYAN: pretty sure youre never gonna get used to it though. thats just how these things work.

RYAN: my parents still cant get over how cute i am. ;)

RYAN: well nobody can really.

FINN: -too true- it's a hard life

RYAN: for you. us adorable people got it so good. isnt that right sofia?

FINN: -sofia yawns-

FINN: i'm going to be dead in a week at this rate

FINN: just because of the cute from sofia and you combined

RYAN: cool. then i can steal her. >:)

FINN: you're just going to swoop right in and take her

RYAN: yep. and raise her teaching her to better weaponize her deadly cuteness.

RYAN: well be unstoppable.

FINN: sorry sofia i tried to give you a better life

RYAN: time to live a life of villainy with auntie ryan.

FINN: this escalated quickly

RYAN: *SNRK* i think thats the inevitable path when dealing with baby stealing.

FINN: did i turn out to be a villain

FINN: i guess that depends on your definition of -air quotes- stolen

RYAN: i think the definition of stolen is pretty clear cut... but maybe theres a side of finn i dont know... an evil side.

FINN: maybe there is

RYAN: oh my... ;o

FINN: what is that face

RYAN: its a face thats onto your wild ways.

FINN: someone's a little late

RYAN: pfff. okay lets be real were all onto your wild ways.

FINN: i was going to say

FINN: out of all people you really can't be that surprised

RYAN: i really cant be... not when i was there instigating it half the time. *snickers some more. they have fun.*

FINN: -they had a lot of fun. he's still laughing, shaking his head- see exactly

RYAN: *looks down at the baby for a moment after that. the pause is enough for her mind to wander. it's hard to fill in the space with positive thoughts these days.*

RYAN: hey uh this is out of the blue but...

RYAN: the other day? at the kareoke bar? ive been worried that i like.

RYAN: made things weird?? somehow.

FINN: -sofia's getting sleepy. she might be starting to doze off. finn is caught off guard by the question, not exactly expecting it- oh -he says it like a question-

FINN: why what do you mean

RYAN: i dunno.

RYAN: like... i know i was super transparent with the song choices.

RYAN: the mood just seemed to change after i sang that second time.

RYAN: and then you took off.

RYAN: like maybe you thought you were third wheeling or something.

RYAN: uhh... okay so i dont usually make a habit of addressing things like this but ive been encouraged to talk about the stuff thats nagging at my mind.

RYAN: so it doesnt start festering and i have to turn to booze or something to cope haha.

RYAN: ... yeah.

FINN: oh -he definitely doesn't want to make her feel like she has to cope with anything...not because of him, at least.- no no i get it uh

FINN: i don't know i guess i just

FINN: you know when you feel like you're in the middle of something really intimate that's not explicitly so but it still is

FINN: but you feel like you're in the way of it a little

FINN: that was where i was at i guess but it's not a big deal you guys need your time too

RYAN: *frowns* i dunno... i guess.

RYAN: its not like theres a quote unquote you guys.

FINN: -he looks away and shrugs a little- hasn't there always been though

RYAN: ... not anymore.

FINN: i mean i know not technically but -he sighs- it's still there

RYAN: *brows knit* yeah maybe for me.

FINN: i mean jack is completely different than he was three years ago and it's not like we talked during the time you were gone

FINN: so i guess i can't read him anymore but i mean it really seems like there's still something

FINN: but anyway i just

FINN: had a feeling i shouldn't be there

FINN: and it's good you two are hanging out

FINN: and having moments

FINN: and stuff

FINN: after everything

RYAN: *he says all that, but why does it feel like there's something left unsaid. is she being paranoid?* do you really feel that way?

FINN: which part

FINN: i mean it doesn't matter because i do really feel all of it

RYAN: ... i guess that part where you think its good were hanging out and having moments like you said.

FINN: oh

FINN: yeah

FINN: it's a good thing

RYAN: ugggh.

RYAN: why do i feel like its not?? am i being paranoid?

RYAN: maybe im projecting because im afraid to make any moves and i need an excuse not to.

RYAN: i dont know i suck at reading my feelings and intuitions or whatever.

FINN: -he looks ahead- it's hard to know i guess

FINN: after all that time

FINN: you can only really be certain of how you feel

RYAN: *sighs a little. she does know how she feels, at least when it comes to jack.*

RYAN: okay but... i dont wanna make hanging out with us awkward.

FINN: sometimes i just have to discern whether or not i should be there

FINN: it's a life thing

RYAN: ... i guess so.

RYAN: sorry.

RYAN: im being weird.

FINN: no you're not

FINN: i was probably acting pretty weird

FINN: that raises a lot of questions

RYAN: maybe. i probably shouldnt pry. *it raises questions, but none of the questions she should probably be asking... but it doesn't really occur to her.*

RYAN: *face scrunches a little... she looks upset.* i just dont know what im doing anymore. im a mess and i know im supposed to just let myself be a mess and let people help me but i dont want to.

RYAN: i dont even want to talk about this. but i should?? ugh. im not making sense.

FINN: -his expression softens immediately- no no i

FINN: i get that actually

FINN: -he can relate in different ways...but he can still relate to the general concept-

FINN: it's hard

RYAN: *sniffs and leans against him a little, as much as she can without disturbing the baby.* but im lonely too... i dont wanna bring anybody down or make anybody feel bad but this always seems to happen now and i cant shut it off.

FINN: -lets it happen and leans his head against hers just slightly- well you know you always have me

FINN: whether or not you can shut it off

RYAN: *peeks up at him with big tired glossy eyes* ... thanks finn.

FINN: -dONT LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT- yeah

FINN: of course

FINN: you're pretty much stuck with me whether you like it or not

RYAN: heheh... good to know.

FINN: it thought it would be at least a little comforting -he's quiet suddenly-

RYAN: it helps... trust me. *peers at him again when a silence follows.*

RYAN: whats on your mind?

FINN: -avoids meeting her gaze and looks down at a sleeping sofia instead. he sighs- i should uh

FINN: i mean

FINN: i don't want things to be weird

RYAN: *blinks at him, confused* weird??

FINN: yeah weird uh

FINN: i don't know how to say it

FINN: actually uh

FINN: -holds his hands out for sofia-

RYAN: ... okay. *hands her back to him, getting a weird feeling in her gut.*

FINN: -sofia makes a few fussy noises before going back to sleep like nothing had happened-

FINN: i just don't want you to feel stuck so

FINN: if you need to leave you can

RYAN: *leans away again, not really sure what to make of that.* im not really in a rush unless you need me to go...

FINN: no i just mean you might want to uh

FINN: you might want to

FINN: the thing is i should tell you

FINN: even though it will do nothing

FINN: but make things weird

FINN: and somehow it's the right thing to do supposedly

FINN: i don't know why that is

FINN: it doesn't seem like it's going to help at all

RYAN: help... what?? what is it? *she's TRYING not to act weirded out even though she kind of is. but it's mostly just anxiety.*

FINN: i

FINN: have feelings for you

FINN: but it's dumb and it doesn't matter and it's irrelevant

RYAN: you... *processing... processing... but she fails to.*

RYAN: what?

FINN: -his cheeks grow red and he looks a little embarrassed-

FINN: i know it's

FINN: i know it's been obvious probably

FINN: it started years ago before you left and uh

FINN: surprise

FINN: still here

RYAN: uh... *runs a hand through her hair, reeling a little* no?? i mean no it was never obvious to me.

RYAN: jesus was i always so into my own shit i didnt even notice?

RYAN: thats typical. way to go ryan.

FINN: oh

FINN: no it's not your fault you didn't need to pick up on it i didn't want you to anyway

FINN: so points for me

FINN: i guess

RYAN: i... okay...

RYAN: well uh... im glad you brought that up. to get it off your chest? or...

RYAN: shit. im not sure what to say.

RYAN: like its cliched to be all i really like you too BUT...

RYAN: thats cliched and shitty?? you deserve better than that.

RYAN: hahaha you deserve better than me? come on dude lets be real.

FINN: -he just feels bad about it- no i know you don't feel

FINN: like i know you don't feel the same way and that's fine that's okay

FINN: like i didn't expect that or anything i know it's like

FINN: uh

FINN: i don't want to talk about what i deserve because i don't think i really

FINN: i don't want to measure myself that way because i'm not going to pass the test

FINN: you don't have to like

FINN: try to reason with me i know it's useless

FINN: it's always been you and jack from the beginning

FINN: there was never any other real relationship for either of you when you're together

FINN: you asked what's on my mind that's what's on my mind that's why i've been acting weird you don't need to fix it or feel responsible for anything i just

FINN: maybe if you know i can get over it who knows

FINN: or i wreck our friendship i don't know

FINN: i'm pretty good at that haha

RYAN: no finn thats not... thats not gonna happen. im just...

RYAN: *eyes start to water* it sucks that things are the way they are. that i cant... reciprocate i guess.

RYAN: i dont know why im always... chasing after people that im not good for haha. but hey on the bright side thats the case no matter what isnt it?? im not good for anybody.

RYAN: jacks better off without me. so was nona. so are you.

RYAN: and you should know that because yeah itd be in your best interest to move on from that.

RYAN: i know you werent trying to start anything but i-- just... why...

RYAN: im so fucked up.

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] is now an idle chum! --

FINN: -he doesn't know who the fuck nona is but he decides right now isn't the time to ask. hearing her say these things about herself...it stings.- no no no

FINN: i'm not

FINN: i'm not

FINN: fuck

FINN: it doesn't matter if you reciprocate or not and it's

FINN: you're making me sound like some kind of ideal candidate but that's not the case either

FINN: you don't see how much you're worth because you think you've fucked up beyond redemption or something

FINN: but that isn't true

FINN: we all have our shit

FINN: yours looks different than mine

FINN: jack's looks different than both yours and mine

FINN: but somehow you're still here and jack's still here even if we were all gone for a while

FINN: it's not about being good enough that is -lets out an unamused laugh- that's bullshit because who even meets that standard in the first place

FINN: what i do know is that without you around it felt like there was something irreplaceable missing

FINN: the whole time

FINN: sure maybe i became better at putting that feeling behind work but

FINN: i never stopped feeling it

FINN: because damn it ryan you are and you've always been one of a kind and i'm not just saying that

FINN: people that are like you aren't good enough

FINN: i want the real thing hanging around

FINN: crazy theatrical ryan

FINN: loud always pretty no matter what ryan

FINN: you're just -he looks down at sofia- you're worth more than you could ever realize

FINN: a few turns down some paths you don't like don't take that away from you

FINN: i need you to stick around and stay because if your shit makes it so you don't deserve to have people in your life then i am

FINN: i am right there with you

FINN: i'm not buying it

FINN: -he finally stops and...might be tearing up a little-

RYAN: *well, she's definitely started crying listening to all that, but the tears flow quietly. when he's through, she sniffs, trying to process everything with some difficulty... but the important parts stick and she leans forward to gingerly wrap her arms around his neck (careful not to squish sofia) and hold him gently.*

RYAN: youre really important to me... i hope you know.

FINN: -he closes his eyes a little and the tears just roll down his cheeks as she holds him- yeah

FINN: you are to me too

RYAN: ... jack told me that the worst was over.

RYAN: ive been trying really hard to believe that.

RYAN: it hurts knowing how much i was missed but its a relief too? i dont wanna run from people anymore...

FINN: you don't have to

FINN: maybe it's time to start running to people

RYAN: *sniffs* yeah... im gonna... crash into everyone at high speeds.

RYAN: hope you can handle a whole lot of ryan.

FINN: i'm pretty sure i've been training all my life so i'm good

RYAN: fuckin... right on. hehehe... *giggles softly, but then starts to pull away again.*

RYAN: i should probably get going home now though.

FINN: -smiles and nods at her, taking a deep breath- yeah

FINN: i have to put this one to bed anyway

RYAN: yeah... goodnight baby girl. *exhales once more, letting all the bad feelings pass... it's gonna be okay.*

RYAN: ill see you soon finn. *gets up off the couch and makes her leave.*

FINN: -it is. it's really going to be okay- bye ryan