#its me bitch. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

1000fingers · 9 months ago

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Bitches will find a fictional man attractive and then immediately imagine him in situations where he is losing alarming amounts of blood

#its me im bitches #malevolent #arthur lester #ofmd #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #you knowwww #insert fandom here kinda vibes

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indigo6f00ff · 1 year ago

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need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this.#but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt.#i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

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poisoned-pearls · 5 months ago

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Masquerade Road Trip 🚌

Okay but like…. What if instead of using mirrors they had to stuff this whole cast of people into a bus/van

It’d be a little funny

(Also turn up phone brightness to see it better. Or don’t. Idk I don’t control you)

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lotus-pear · 2 months ago

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"stop making akechi pancake jokes its 2024" no fuck you

#horrible news i'm obsessed with him #raise your hand if youre actually surprised #i see an egotistical smartass brunette twink with daddy issues whos doomed by the narrative and i latch on like a motherless duckling #bro i deadass forgot how to draw it took me so long to figure out how to do this mfs hair 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️#gayass motherfucker detective bitch i hate him so much #persona 5 #p5 #persona 5 royal #p5r #goro akechi #lotus draws #i better not see anybody call him dazai in the comments again or im gonna gut you like a fish #its happened on three separate posts GIVE UP

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cyberwh0repuppy · 10 months ago

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I can't tell when people are flirting with me I'd rather you just pin me to a wall and tell me how badly you want to make out

#bad at social cues and reading ppl #my friend told me its why i domt get bitches lol #trans nsft #trans sub #ns/fw sub #autistic nsft #queer ns/fw #save me direct communication

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alectothinker · 7 months ago

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#currently suffering from anxiously attached bitch disease #i need 2 gather data . its like therapy to me #polls #text

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cinemacrypt · 2 years ago

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Trans people need to start naming themselves like puritans but like the other way. I need to start hanging out with bitches named Contempt and Decadence and Heresy

#mars says stuff #like 'oh my friends call me DeeDee! its short for Decadence' its a speedrun for drowning in bitches

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captain-krow-drozdov · 3 months ago

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Danny Is An Alternate Version Of Ra's Al Ghul And Flash Already Called Dibs On Adopting Him

Danny In All His Sleep Deprived Slightly Scuffed Up From A Fight Glory Is On His Way To Clockworks Tower To Hopefully Get A Nap And Maybe Some Homework Done When A Natural Portal Opens Up In Front Of Him And Proceeds To Unceremoniously Drop Him In The DC Verse Just Outside Of Central City Before Promptly Closing Leaving A Tired Danny Behind In A Run Down Abandoned Parking Lot.

It's Times Like This When Danny Regrets Putting Off Learning How To Make His Own Portals, Cause Now He Is Very Much Stuck For The Foreseeable Future And He Has No Idea Where Or When He Is. Luckily For Him However Central City Isn't Too Far Away, Unlucky For Him However Is That Once In The City He Realizes This Isn't His Dimension. He's Pretty Sure He'd Remember Something Called The Justice League.

So What Do You Do When Supernatural Bullshit Fails You? You Fall Back On Your Mad Scientist Roots And You Make A Portal Gun. So That's Exactly What Danny Plans To Do.

Unfortunately Staying Alive And Building Questionably Safe Portal Technology Requires Money And Supplies, So He Ends Up Wandering From City To City Doing Odd Jobs/Fixing Up Busted Tech For Cash Or Unwanted Electronics For His "Operation: Get Home" Needs. This Obviously Ends In A Few Superhero Encounter Shenanigans.

Though He Always Ends Up Back Near Central City, Both On The Off Chance The Natural Portal Will Open Up Again And Because Out Of All The Superheroes That Apparently Exist In This Universe The Speedsters Are His Favorite (Red Robin Is Solidly His Second Favorite Ever Since The Gotham Vigilante Gave Him A Large Coffee Filled With Enough Caffeine To Kill A Man).

Unbeknownst To Danny However Is That Every Hero/Vigilante He Has Encountered Has Come To At Least One Of The Following Conclusions; 1. Run Away Meta Who Is In Desperate Need Of A Good Meal/Adoption Bait. 2. Possibly Red Robin/Tim Drake Clone 3. A Good Kid But Could Possibly Be A Future Rouge If Left Unsupervised. 4. Did Bats Get A New Kid And Why Is He Here?

All Flash Knows Is That He Saw The Kid First And Therefore Has Dibs. Suck It Bruce.

Fast-forward A Few Months And Danny Gets Hurt During A Rogue Attack While Trying To Help Some Civilians Get To Safety (Old Hero Habits Die Hard (Ha Die Hard) And All That Jazz) And He Nopes Out Once Everyone Is Safe And When The Paramedics Are Busy With Other People Unaware He Left A Blood Sample Behind.

One DNA Test Brought To You By Paranoid Bat Concerns Of A Possible Red Robin Clone Later And They Find Out That Dannys DNA Matches One Ra's Al Ghul.

They Now Think Danny Is An Escaped Ra's Al Ghul Clone.

Memes For The Vibes:

#captain's posts #this has been haunting me #the flash/any of the speedsters:*exist*#danny:*can feel the speedforce on them* i like your vibe funny man #basically danny is actually an alternate version of Ra's Al Ghul and gets chucked into the dc vesrse #because natural portals are bitches hijinks ensue #and while i do love batfam adopting danny i think its very funny for flash to just yoink him while the big bad bat isn't looking #i desperately need him and tim to be besties tho specifically before they find out danny is an alternate Ra's Al Ghul #danny:*sitting in a park and tinkering with some circuitry* oh hey flash :)#flash: hey kid! great news i might be adopting a kid soon!#danny: oh really? thats cool-#flash:*holding out adoption papers and doing his best puppy eyes* its you. sign here.#danny:*vague memory of clockwork complaining about speedster pops into his mind* hmmm #danny:*deciding to be a little shit cause what else do you do when you're almost a year into being stuck in an alternate dimension* >=)#danny: sure why not? soooo full name or what?#flash:*didn't expect to get this far* uh-#i also really like danny being clockworks apprentice/time line clean upper so danny just remembers cw bitchin about the speedsters #also cause im a sucker for tim x danny...#tim:*having a crisis cause the cute meta kid he befriended/has a crush on may or may not be a vlone of Ra's Al Ghul* aaaaasaaaaaaaasaaaaaaa #dick: you okay buddy?#tim:*aggressively points at the dna match of danny to Ra's Al Ghul on the bat computer* AAAAAAAAAAAAAA #dick: Oh-#dc x dp #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #dpxdc

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pbnmj · 1 year ago

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i just KNOW they have beef (alt panel i scrapped under the cut)

#well its funny to ME at least . noir jumps for joy when hobie leaves <3 #atsv #atsv spoilers #my art #noir #spiderman noir #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #peter parker #margo kess #the alt version of this was scrapped because i found it funnier if noir fully made it a physical fight #like GET THE BITCH!

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mamawasatesttube · 22 days ago

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the whole "jason rules crime alley and none of the other bats are allowed there!!1!" thing is so funny like. tim LITERALLY lives in the theater where bruce's parents died,

#rimi talks #sorry. thought about tim doing that again. what is WRONG with him kfjshakjdshfkjd #WITHOUT EVEN TELLING BRUCE UNTIL AFTER HED ALREADY DONE IT TOO.#TIMOTHY. WHY.#this is the other thing abt why i just dont like seeing jtodd in fanwork #whenever he appears like 99% of the time its in a way that is directly contradictory to actual comics #the 1% of people who actually read the comics and write him in such a way? fine great awesome!!#however i still am filtering that bitch out because hes kind of a catch-all for the most annoying batfanon tropes.#because. yknow. theres no other tags to filter out bc they dont Fucking tag it #alas. oh well. anyways can we go back to going hey tim what is wrong with you #because for real i think he got off way too easy for this one.#forget identity reveals i want the core four sleepover where tim's apartment gets its lore reveal #give me cassie doing such a dramatic spit take that she gets ice cream on the ceiling. picks up tim like a weasel. and goes WHY???#and hes just like. idk seemed like the right thing to do :)#tim

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bamsara · 7 months ago

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official usps sent me a letter including a guide with a handwritten note asking me to switch the sizes of my patreon envalopes (envalopes that i bought from the local post office)

shoutout to usps worker Nixie who I guess took it upon themselves to send me this cause they were sick of my envalopes getting caught in the machine or something idk

#I CHANGED MY ENVALOPES THREE TIMES #its okay #they provided a printed out guide LMAO #do yall think they are out there like 'im so sick of this bitch'#sara shush #cue me opening new tab to shop for more

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epicfirestormer · 6 months ago

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