#its like toy story except the rabbit always chooses to leave in the end

[all-hail-trash-prince]

Does anyone else remember the velveteen rabbit?? I went through a phase years ago right around when I was first going on YouTube on my own where I watched every version of it that I could get my grubby little hands on and cried like a baby every time only to go out and find another one

[sadlyafanofotomegames]

A Road Paved with Bad Endings - Nameless ~The One Thing You Must Recall~

It’s been eighty years since my last one so to remind everyone this is a series about bad ends in otome games - currently I’m talking about the bad ends in Nameless and I already did Lance’s bad endings.  This one’s going to be about Yeonho’s.

Yeonho - Bought Used, Highly Damaged, Needs Proper Care

Oh Yeonho.  Sweet. sweet little Yeonho.  Made to instill mother instincts in young ladies.  Surely his route will just be ADORABLE right...right!?

Okay so Yeonho has some serious issues stemming from an extremely painful past (which is bad enough as a doll but then when translated to human terms YIKES) and most of his route is about confronting that past.  Sure there are cute moments here and there, but mainly its just about how to confront the things that were done to him and how to cope in a more healthy way.

One thing I’m not keen on is that with these kind of characters (I will elaborate on this when talking about the bad ends) I wish they just left out the romance aspect altogether.  So much of this route is about understanding Yeonho’s trauma and how it affects his view of the world, that its not until the last couple of chapters that the writers were like, “oh FUCK this is an otome game they’re supposed to date” and slapped on two or three romantic scenes.  It doesn’t help that in this route compared to the other routes it’s painfully clear that Eri favoring Yeonho can go real bad for both of them if not treated correctly.  I’m worried about them is what I’m saying.

If you are suffering from abandonment and/or other forms of abuse, this route might make you uncomfortable.  I say they do a not-bad job in confronting trauma, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be the same experience with you. 

Also two of these three ending go into the “WTF WTF WTF” end of the bad end spectrum, and they do include implied violence and assault so tread lightly.

Bad End 1 - Unforgiven Doll - Surprise!  YOU Are The First Yandere in the Game!

How to Get It

Eri.  Basic female protagonist in an otome game.  Most female protagonists in otome games range from “blank slate/silent” to “this is clearly a story about this particular gal.”  Eri falls closer to the latter half of this spectrum, but she still shows some of those tried and true female lead traits, mainly her naivete.  This isn’t just to show innocence in this route though: her naive and relaxed attitude toward Yeonho in the beginning becomes a detriment to Yeonho’s growth.  She doesn’t realize until around a quarter into the route that Yeonho’s devotion and to her isn’t just a phase, and she doesn’t know how to confront it at first.  Yeonho wakes her up every morning, makes the same rabbit-shaped eggs every morning, texts her every morning, noon and night, and it gets to the point where he refuses to leave her side.  

One rainy day, Eri’s friends finally have an opportunity to talk to her without Yeonho around.  They’re worried about both of them, and they decide to take the chance to separate them by taking Eri out while Yeonho’s on cleaning duty. Yeonho seems pretty dejected at the idea but still stays for cleaning duty.  But then...Eri gets worried and goes back.  And its a good thing she did, because Yeonho was waiting for her in the pouring rain.  

Now, you don’t have to go back right away though...you could choose to be dismissive and cold when it comes to Yeonho...its not like he’ll ever dislike you for it...

Once Yeonho’s taken inside he’s tending to by Eri.  Yeonho’s not looking so great after getting a rain shower.  He tells Eri he’s cold and doesn’t want Eri to leave but...its not a big deal right?  Leave Yeonho’s side to grab blankets.

Alternatively, you can also be dismissive of Yeonho in earlier parts as well.  At one point you can almost push Yeonho into riding big rides at a theme park  which you know Yeonho doesn’t like but refuses to admit he’s not having fun.  Because its all for Eri. 

What Happens

Seeing Yeonho shivering and sad...Yeonho who would do anything for her...Yeonho who would always be hers no matter how cruel she is...something in Eri snaps.  She WANTS to hurt Yeonho.  

Yeonho doesn’t mind right?  He’d never hate her.  When Yeonho wakes up and sees Eri...he knows what’s going to happen.  And he does let her hurt him.  And he cries.  All he wants is to be cherished.

How I Feel About This One

Honestly when it comes to otome games I expect there’s always going to be at least one route route where somebody goes yandere and/or the main girl gets killed.  But this is the first one I’ve encountered where the the main girl becomes the yandere character.  It was a real shock to me, because all of the sudden I wasn’t just causing Eri to be run over by the truck, I’m causing Eri to be cruel.  When we reach a bad end, our character’s the one who usually gets hurt the most, not the one who directly causes the hurt.  

As such while other endings are theoretically worse for Eri and some of the characters involved in their specific route, this one I just can’t stomach revisiting often.  Hearing Yeonho crying in pain and asking to be cherished makes me feel like my hearts being used as a needle ball...so as a bad end its pretty good!  7/10 stop making me feel bad please.

Bad End 2 - Competitor - Now Yeonho’s the Yandere!  But Wait!  A YANDERE CHALLENGER APPROACHES!!! (how many yanderes are in this game!?  the answer may shock you)

How to Get It

So after you stay by Yeonho’s side while he’s sick and assure him that you’re there for him and that you WON’T become a yandere things seem to start to improve.  Yeonho’s less clingy, and he’s no longer willing to be pushed around by his fans at school (btw all of the boys got fans because they’re all beautiful doll people so yeah.)  Eri’s a little concerned that Yeonho is now being too off-putting, but hey it feels like Yeonho is changing so...that’s something.

Then Eri has to go see her parents at a hotel for dinner (btw her parents travel a lot for work and are mainly based in the U.S. so she rarely sees them thus when they do come by they meet her at a hotel nearby where they usually go to for business.)  Yeonho begins to wonder if Eri’s parents, her family, matters more than him, who’s just a doll.  How can he assure himself that Eri won’t forget him?

Eri leaves promising that she won’t be long.  The visit goes fine, except uh...her parents pressure her into staying at their hotel room for way longer than she planned.  It’d be nice if you chose to say you have to go back, but choosing to stay isn’t what’ll cause the camel’s back to break in this one.  That happens when Eri returns home to see Yeonho, again, waiting for her outside.  It’s not raining, but its cold, and Yeonho looks cold both physically and emotionally.

Now I need to remind you fellows that these boys are not people first: they’re dolls first, people second.  Their world is limited by the very few experiences they had on top of a shelf.  In Yeonho’s case, his experience was being put on a literal pedestal, used essentially as a stress toy whenever his first owner got mad, left on the floor when his owner got bored of him, then left in a very badly put box for who knows how long to be sent to a new owner who, once again, puts him on a pedestal.  Eri takes great care of her dolls, but to Yeonho, this doesn’t mean she won’t abandon him like his previous owner did.  Because his previous owner seemingly treasured him too.

And with the previous bad end, we know Eri is capable of the same cruelty as the previous owner.  And even without that context what’s stopping Eri from abandoning him too?  How can he be permanent in Eri’s heart so that doesn’t happen?  Yeonho doesn’t have the means to see beyond his own experience, so he can’t see how he won’t be abandoned eventually, and even though he’s human now he still sees himself as needing to belong to someone.  What can he do?  He’s not being threatening at this point, he’s just begging for answers.

So what answer do you give?  Well, if you were listening to his plea, you tell him that no, he doesn’t need to do anything to earn love, because he’s already deserving of it.  Yeonho already holds a place in Eri’s heart, and she means that earnestly.  

...Buuuuut if you’re looking for a bad end, dismissively say “eh, just stay by my side like usual.”  This’ll calm him down right?  His deep-seated feelings aren’t that serious.  It’s fine.  It’ll be fine.  Really, it’s fine.

...So turns out it was not fine, because you didn’t give him a real answer.  He still doesn’t know how to be permanent in Eri’s heart.  So he’s going to find is own answers.  Spoilers: the answer he comes to is bad.  For both of them.  In more ways than expected.

What Happens

Oh wait, no he’s fine.  He was cool with that answer!  See, he’s smiling, although his smile is a little off, but that’s fine, because me and Eri are sure that he’ll just go back to his usual self by morning.  Time to go to bed.  

Fun Fact: There’s a diary entry in Eri’s journal that only appears in this ending.  Check it out before Eri closes her eyes.  It’ll be awkward to read it after Yeonho tries to choke Eri to de-oh-OH GAWD YEONHO’S CHOKING ERI TO DEATH!

Another Fun Fact: If you want to revisit this bad ending save right after you made the bad choice.  For some reason in the Memories (the menu that lets you revisit past events) it starts in the middle of the bad ending!  

So it turns out the answer Yeonho came to was, “I guess I need to be a yandere” and kill Eri.  BTW despite being advertised in the Crobidoll line as “babey” for some reason he was given the ability to see ghosts?  So I’m guessing his plan was to have Eri’s spirit tethered to him so she literally can never leave (and thus in his eyes abandon) him.

Funny thing about Yeonho: he’s referenced as similar to a chick a lot in this game.  He’s got corn yellow hair that’s feathery and he’s got big ol’ red eyes.  Except...when he’s chocking Eri, suddenly his eyes don’t look so cute.  His pupils literally shrink.  They’re no longer the eyes of a chick, but the eyes of a snake. 

So Yeonho kills Eri.  Bad End reached.  Pretty typical of a bad ending in an otome game, huh?

Well, JUST KIDDING Tei barges in and stops Yeonho from completing the task.  Phew Eri was saved.  That was close.  Good thing someone as kind and dependable as Tei arrived to help her out right...right?  

Ha...haha...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

Surprise! Turns out Tei is the Alpha Yandere ‘round these parts.

Friends...may I introduce you to...Bad End Tei?  He’s going to be a regular on the series.  In fact he’s probably the main character in this Nameless Bad End Journey.  He’s a constant shadow that looms across almost all the bad paths we follow.  Just remember in this series we’re going to be talking only about Bad End Tei, not all of who Tei is.  If you want me to talk more about Tei as a whole character you’ll have to wait until we get to Tei’s bad endings, which, spoilers, have a lot of Bad End Tei in it too.  You cannot escape Bad End Tei.

Anyway back to what was SUPPOSED to be Yeonho’s Yandere moment.

After stopping Yeonho from killing Eri, Tei starts by saying he’s dissapointed...at Eri?  She really shouldn’t have let herself be hurt.  Kinda victim-blamey there Bad End Tei.  After all, I’M the one who almost got her choked to death here.  No need to blame her!

Secondly Tei wants nothing more than for Eri, his owner, to be safe.  But if she does get hurt...it should be him who does the hurting.  The reason for this is explained further in later bad endings and in Tei’s Route, but in this ending we discover that Tei is just as obsessed with his owner as Yeonho is.  Difference is Bad End Tei doesn’t need to be remembered by Eri, or even have a place in her heart.  What he wants is Eri herself, and to have that he wants control of her pain.  So when someone else tries to cause Eri pain...well that’s stealing his control of her pain, and that just won’t do.  

Unlike Yeonho, who ultimately just wants to belong to Eri and to never be abandoned by her, Bad End Tei wants Eri to belong to him the same way he belongs to her.   

It’s ironic that a doll wants ownership over the doll’s owner huh.  Feels like maybe bringing dolls to life wasn’t exactly what its cracked up to be.  

Anyway if Eri’s going to get hurt, then there was no reason for Tei to have held back for so long.  If this was going to happen, he should have hurt Eri when this all started.  He justifies that he can hurt Eri better than Yeonho can (weird flex but ok) and its getting late so could Yeonho like, leave?  And even Yeonho in yandere mode is taken aback.  But then he’s like, “No wait I’M the yandere in this bad ending!” and tries to attack Tei.

Tei doesn’t want to hurt or even touch anyone that’s not Eri, but since Yeonho won’t be good and go to bed he’ll just have to put him down.  Even though all the dolls are in human form now, their doll forms are still on Eri’s shelf.  And doing things to the doll forms affects their human forms.  So, instead of going after Yeonho the human...he grabs Yeonho the doll.  And squeezes.

Meanwhile Eri is, quite justifiably, shocked and disgusted by all this.  Yeonho’s a yandere?  Tei’s a yandere?  I could be a yandere!?  How many yandere’s are in this game!? 

While Tei is committing doll homicide he says since Eri’s good at keeping her hobbies (collecting dolls) a secret from her friends, it shouldn’t be hard to pretend that everything’s fine from now on.  Of course, she doesn’t have to pretend she loves him.  So long as Tei can have her, he doesn’t care.

After the deed is done, Tei approaches her.  Eri desperately wants this to all be a dream, but when Tei holds her face she knows its real.  Tei tells her to be quiet and asks if she’d ready.  The last thing we hear is a chime, and the scene fades out.

How I Feel About This One

So this has to be one of my favorite bad endings.  I mean what happens in it makes me go “WTF WTF AAAAAAGH” but in an interesting way, ya know?  The kind that makes my hair stand on end.  It’s a story in and of itself.  The set-up, the plot twist, the monologue, just...mwah.  Perfect.  It’s exactly what I want in my bad endings.

Plus if you’re doing the bad endings in order, this’ll be the first time you see Bad End Tei.  You don’t see Bad End Tei in the routes themselves (outside of his and Red’s, which is only unlocked after you complete all the other routes so at that point you had to have seen Bad End Tei) but suddenly there’s hints of Bad End Tei throughout all of his encounters.  I didn’t say this in Lance’s Bad End Post, but a part of me thinks that maybe Tei had something to do with what happened to Lance in one of his bad endings...there’s no proof, but still.  He was in the room with Lance by themselves when Eri left so...who knows.

This also hints at also aspects of the story.  Bad End Tei’s an obvious hint to who Tei is as a character, but there’s also the use of the doll bodies, and that chime at the end.

Anyway this Bad Ending sets up Bad End Tei’s character in the most dramatic and creepy of ways and if every otome game had bad endings as good (well, not good in that way but-you know what I mean!) as this one this series would never end.  I mean, it won’t if I post every four to five months.  

Also what makes me appreciate this one is that it cuts off before we see what happens to Eri, and it doesn’t go into detail on what Bad End Tei did to Yeonho either.  If we had detailed descriptions of whatever happened I might not have stomached it.  Implication are far more sinister than outright statements.  This is also one of the only Bad End Tei endings where Eri’s vocal about how messed up this is.

Bad End 3 - Disappeared Yeonho - That’s It.  Pretty Anticlimactic Compared to the Previous Endings

How to Get It

So Eri takes Yeonho’s worries seriously and no one turns yandere and Bad End Tei stays firmly in the back of Tei’s mind (btw after you make the good choice with Yeonho once they go back inside Tei gives Yeonho some comforting words.  At their worst they can be cruel to each other, but when they’re not at that breaking point they do have this solidarity with each other, both having previous owners before Eri.)  Things start to improve a lot.  Yeonho can now enjoy things outside of Eri, and is back to being willing to hang out with others.  He’s grown a great deal, and the people around him notice.  Things are looking up for Yeonho and Eri now.

Of course, then the writers realize, “wait romance” and Yeonho needs to like Eri now.  Not as a doll loves their owner, but as a person wanting to be with another person...okay I don’t hate it when its put that way, but I still feel like this wasn’t necessary.  Let me remind you, Yeonho tried to kill Eri in a bad ending because of his fear of her forgetting him.  He was so desperate to remain at her side, and then things get better, but even after all that he still wants to refer to her as “Master” while trying to pursue a romantic relationship with her.  All I’m saying is maybe give each other a little distance for a just a tiiiiiiny bit to figure things out before going into this yeah?

Still they’re pretty cute together in the end.  Things don’t get nearly as saucy as it did in Lance’s route, and its all very innocent and sweet.  I don’t hate it.  Now Tei on the other hand-

Alright alright back to how this bad end goes down.  Before Yeonho confesses to Eri there’s a school festival and he has a fortune reading stand.  (Also aside from seeing ghosts he can also read tarot cards and talk to animals.)  After he read your fortune he tries to make a move, but then a very haughty girl barges in to get her fortune read.  Suddenly Yeonho clams up and runs away.

Where did he go!?  Eri could check the rooftop, where he’s likely to be at...or she can just give up and see if he came home.  

...That’s it.  That’s all it takes.

What Happens

So Yeonho never came home.  They made missing photos and everything!  Where could he be...?

...Yeah that’s it.

How I Feel About This One

Honestly I don’t feel like this one needed to be there.  Maybe it’s because if they didn’t, then for the last few chapter there’d be no need for choices.  But they did that with Lance!  In Lance’s route after the play there’s no choice for the last few chapter, and while he has the shortest amount of bad endings, they both are still creepy and at least a little intense.  Why didn’t they do the same for Yeonho?

I don’t know.  I don’t hate it.  It’s like, nothing terrible happened to characters I love, which is nice, but that’s not what bad endings are for!  They’re supposed to make you feel bad and maybe give you the heebie jeebies!  Or they’re supposed to fulfill some fantasy in a safe way like they do sometimes in Mystic Messenger!  Or be a joke ending where you at least get a chuckle before having to restart!  I don’t know!  Give me Yeonho joining a ghost detective agency with a cat sidekick running away from his past!  Something!  ANYTHING!!!

Anyway overall I really do like Yeonho’s route in its emotionally heartfelt moments and really disturbed by the intensity of some of its bad endings (which make them pretty good in my book!)  Now we move on to Yuri’s route where I need to turn off Yuri’s voice in the options menu to pull through it!  WAHOOO!!!

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Love your blog so much! Just curious does the Jamie in FMM Carey any weapons?

Flood my Mornings: Some Sunday Morning 

Notes from Mod Bonnie:

This story takes place in an AU in which Jamie travels through the stones two years after Culloden and finds Claire and his child in 1950 Boston.

See all past installments via Bonnie’s Master List

Previous installment: Aisles (Jamie visits a modern supermarket)

September, 1950

Some Sunday morning is goin’ to be 

Some Sunday morning for someone and me! 

Bells will be chiming an old melody, 

‘Specially for someone and me!

“I truly dinna understand it Claire,” Jamie said, shaking his head at me. 

“What?” 

“I canna remember ye ever being musically inclined, back in the days before, but seems every moment I turn around, now, you’re fair bursting out into song!” 

“What can I say, darling?” I sighed dramatically, batting my lashes. “You put a song in my heart!” 

Our eyes met and we both burst into gales of laughter at the sickly-sweet endearment. 

Sickly-sweet….but accurate, I thought, my heart feeling light. 

We turned the corner onto Burnham Avenue, pushing Bree before us in her pram. It was a little chilly for a September morning, and there was a whiff of winter in the air; not enough to keep us from our usual Sunday walk before mass, but enough that Jamie kept his arm around me as we walked, and I snuggled happily into his shoulder. 

“Summ-summy-morneeen,” sang Bree.  

“Oh, so she’s a wee songster, as well!” Jamie said, amused, peering down at her. “I’m to be overrun by you tuneful lot, then!” 

“I think I picked it up from Uncle Lamb,” I mused. “He used to sing under his breath as he dug or wrote. Used to drive me bananas, in fact,” I said, laughing. “I’ll do my best to cut it out, I promise!”

“No, no,” Jamie replied hastily, grinning. “It’s charming, Sassenach, truly. I only wish I could join along wi’ y–” 

Jamie stopped dead, staring ahead as I was… at the swarm of police cars at the end of the street. 

“God, it’s…just terrible,” I said for perhaps the dozenth time. I could see the reflection of my hands shaking as I finished pinning up my hair in the mirror. 

Approaching the melée of flashing lights and sirens, hearts pounding, we had joined the small huddle of concerned neighbors, hearing the story that trickled back in low whispers.

The Nortons. That was their name. We had never known that, just recognized them from occasionally crossing paths at the park or market: a husband, wife, and three small children, all with white-blonde hair, such that Jamie had always referred to them fondly in passing as ‘the ducklings.’ The father was a banker, someone said. The mother was often to be seen in her yard tending flowers. Nice people. Normal people.  

An armed man had broken into the family’s house in the night, threatened them, then beat and bound the parents before locking all five of them in a windowless closet. The vandal then stripped the house of its valuables and made off into the night. It was nearly eight hours later that a paperboy happened to hear the children’s cries and the family was rescued. No lasting injuries sustained, thank God, but all five severely and understandably terrified by the ordeal of the night.

“Terrible,” I said again, shuddering at the memory of the five blanked-wrapped figures clinging close together in their front yard. 

As I finished affixing my hat, Jamie walked down the hall to join me in the foyer. He had said nothing the entire walk back to the house. He’d remained silent as we’d washed and dressed and gotten Bree ready, preparing for the service. 

“We’d best get on our way, I suppose,” I said, less than enthusiastically checking my wristwatch and scooping Bree off the living room rug. “Only fifteen minutes to mass.” 

“I’m no’ going to mass this morning,” he said with almost no inflection. 

“Oh, good,” I said, relieved, though a bit miffed that he hadn’t said so before I’d made a to-do of getting myself and Bree dressed and coiffed. “I’m not much in the mood eith–wh–?….Jamie, where are you going?” For he had taken up his hat and overcoat and was putting them on, clearly meaning to go out. 

He didn’t look up. “To buy a weapon.” 

Taken aback by this blunt answer as I was, I supposed it was only natural given what we’d just seen. He’d slept with a dirk under his pillow for the first three years of our marriage, had he not? I shifted Bree in my arms, letting her play with my hair. “I’m not sure there will be many stores open on a Sunday morning where you can buy a decent knife. You may want to wait until—”

“No’ a knife, Sassenach. I’m going to buy a pistol.”  

“Like hell you are.” 

He stared at me, for a moment perfectly blank with surprise. I stared right back, one eyebrow raised in defiance. He was actually speechless. He opened his mouth to speak, then shut it again. I heaved a sigh, half-laughing. “God, men and their love of toys.” 

“Toys?” Jamie whispered, sounding as though he didn’t believe his own ears. 

“Toy-toysies-toys!” came a far more cheerful voice at my ear. I knelt to set Bree down on the living room floor, opening the basket that held a small selection of toys and books. She set to her work, happily finding George the Rabbit and her favorite wooden blocks. 

Jamie was still standing in the foyer, I could see from the corner of my eye, giving me a patient look as he explained, “It’s to keep in the house, Sassenach, the pistol. I dinna mean to carry it about wi’ me.”

“Even so,” I said, rising and facing him with my arms crossed. “Absolutely not.” 

Jamie’s face hardened and reddened now. “After learning what we did this morning…? How could you possibly not wish to see us better protected, Claire?”

“The burglar didn’t discharge his weapon, Jamie. He didn’t shoot at the family. He just had a gun.”

“Ye think every scoundrel will be satisfied wi’ that? The Nortons were lucky, that’s all. We willna be caught empty-handed like they were.” 

“Jamie, darling,” I said through slightly gritted teeth, “this is a different time.” 

Jamie made an angry sound in his throat, gesturing sharply. “But there’s still evil in the world, no? I read the newspapers, Claire–I ken fine that there are as many sick bastards now as in 1743, if none so recognizable at first sight. So dinna give me that tripe that there’s no danger to be had in 1950.”

“Yes, but this isn’t the bloody Highlands, either,” I snapped, picking up my coat and purse and brushing past him, feeling the alarming heat of true discord boiling between us for the first time in recent memory, and wanting to blink my eyes and have all melt away.

“And what’s that meant to signify?” came the sharp question from behind me.

“This is an advanced civil society the like of which no one of your century could have even dreamed,” I said crisply, opening the door to the closet at the end of the hall. “There’s rule of law that keeps your ‘sick bastards’ from extorting and murdering people with impunity.” 

“Oh, aye? So it’s all well and good if Claire Fraser is shot and killed, because the perpetrator will go to prison for it in the end, is that it?” 

“AND–” I ignored this jab out of hand. I was angry and getting angrier, but I was slow and fussy with hanging my things l, not ready to turn and face him as I barrelled forward. “–the other side of that ordered society is that even if Jamie Fraser thinks it’s merited, he can’t just shoot someone at the slightest provocation!” 

“I dinna intend to shoot at any provocation….” He was straining to keep calm, but I could clearly hear the danger rising between his clenched teeth. “…except that someone enters this house to do violence against my family.”

I turned on my heel and gave him a look of steel. “Jamie, I won’t have a gun in this house. They’re dangerous and unnecessary.”

“’Unnecessary’?” He was almost six feet away, but even at that safe distance, his own look could have sliced me in two. I jumped back in reflex as he snarled, “You would rather be shot–rather *our daughter* or the next bairn be killed before our eyes– than have me keep a weapon under our roof? Is that what you’re telling me?” 

I threw up my hands in abject frustration and panic. “Jamie, that isn’t bloody fair!”

“How? HOW is what I’m saying unreasonable, Claire?” He was shaking with rage. “DAMN YOU, Claire, TELL ME!”  

“What if Bree got hold of your bloody pistol without you knowing and thought it a toy and pulled the trigger?? She could—”

He was seething, deep scarlet, moments from complete eruption. “Ye think—I’d be—so careless—as to—”

“Accidents, Jamie!” I said, throwing up my hands and bustling into the bedroom to escape that look. “Accidents happen! Don’t you ever see that in your newspapers? And it’s not just Bree I’m worried about—YOU could shoot someone out of your bloodyminded warrior instinct and be put away for life to rot in some prison cell, and THEN where would we fucking be??”

His voice was low and lethal from the doorway, barely a whisper.  “In all the years you’ve known me… in ALL the dangers we’ve faced…have you ever known me to act rashly in danger? EVER?” he hissed. “Have I ever struck or killed by accident?

“Jamie that’s beside the—” I turned, pleading, and suddenly he was only inches from me, his breath hot on my face. “Dar–Darling, listen, you have to trust m—”

“NO!” he bellowed, leaning down so close to me that I tried to step back but was trapped by the wall, trapped by those blue eyes blazing. “No, Claire, I DO NOT have to trust you on this. What ye choose to wear, what profession you pursue: concerning those I have chosen trust you, no matter how much they might gall me–.but I will not TRUST you and Bree to the CHANCE that invaders will be merciful or stupid!  Do ye hear me?”

“Jamie, I–”

“I will NOT live knowing myself to be at a disadvantage to those that would attempt to harm my family. And the fact that you would leave ME to be shot first wi’ only a knife in my hand–That your–your–PRINCIPLES are more important than–”

“…Da?” 

We both snapped our heads to the bedroom door, where Bree stood clutching George, eyes overflowing with tears, her sweet face a mask of horror.

Jamie made a sound….a pitiful sound…shame and despair….and turned away from us both, retreating to the space between the bed and wall.

I went at once to Bree and swept her up into my arms, patting and soothing. “It’s alright, baby, hush, now, everything’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine…but God, he was right. 

It wasn’t my ‘principles,’ though. As much as I did think it dangerous to allow the easy purchase of guns generally, that wasn’t the reason I didn’t want one in our house. 

It was that I was afraid of being afraid again. I didn’t want to live once more in a world where people sought to attack, maim, rape, and destroy me and those I held dear. Knowing evil exists in the world is one thing; acknowledging that such dangers might find me, my loved ones–that was what had pierced me with terror; as if arming against danger would call it forth. 

…which was utterly foolish, I realized as soon as the thought crossed my mind. The English deserters in that long-ago glade after our first wedding had not attacked me because I carried a sgian dubh–the having of it had simply allowed me to do what needed to be done to defend myself…and Jamie.

His face was averted, hung between his shoulders as he leaned with both hands against the wall; but I could see his shoulders shaking, and hear the desperate effort to which he went to suppress (almost suppress) bitter sobs.

I came close behind him, slowly, Bree sniffling and gasping on my shoulder as her own tears failed to subside. I laid a hand softly on his arm and said firmly, but I hoped not coldly, “If we must have it….we’ll keep it locked in the bedside drawer.”

“Thank you,” he said softly. Then after a long silence he turned fast and crushed us to him. “I’m sorry….sorry, Claire….I didna mean… I ken ye dinna want this…but…” 

I crushed him right back, or as best I could with only one free arm. 

No, I didn’t want this, but he was right: never once had I seen him err in battle or hand-to-hand combat. In decisions? In words? God, yes; too many times to count. But In blows? When lives were on the line? Never. There was no one on earth I trusted more than him, not just in some romantic, theoretical way; but also in the capability of his mind and body to act with decision and incision. 

I hated this…but I was choosing to trust him. 

“I’m sorry, Sassenach. And you, a leannan,” he said to Bree, “Da is verra sorry he frightened ye.” 

He spoke gently in Gaelic to her–I love you, sweetheart–and kissed her cheek, wrapping his arms around us both again and exhaling heavily. 

“Claire, I–” he said, haltingly, and I could hear the pain in it; the regret. “I ken there’s no valor in this. It’s fear that screams at me to insist upon this thing, rather than submit and trust that all will be well. It’s just that…” His mouth went dry and he had to swallow. “I’ve nothing in the world save you two.”

“You think I have?” I choked out, his fear seemed to creep across the space between our feet and snake up my leg into my heart. 

He pressed his cheek hard into the top of my head. “I pray wi’ all my soul, Claire… that we never once have to unlock the drawer.”

Song: Some Sunday Morning from San Antonio (1945)

[next chapter]

[movingimagemedia-blog]

CONTEXTUAL DOCUMENT

Megan Vaughan 21289769

Media and Moving Image

Initial Idea

During Advent season the historic city centres of every major German city light up with Christmas markets, known as Weihnachtsmarkte. The Christmas market tradition dates to the 15th century. Today there are over 2,500 Christmas markets across Germany that invite visitors to enter the festive mood. I want to travel to one of these major cities and explore the traditions German markets hold and discover why this particular event has become commercialised worldwide. I will be researching its origins and why they are so popular and how they are advertised. I also will be visiting three UK markets to explore the commercialised version of these Christmas markets.

Chosen Brief

Lumix invite independent filmmakers to pitch ideas to create a short documentary on the theme ‘The Ones with Stories’. The 5-minute film must encapsulate ‘What does ‘The One’ mean to you?’

To Submit: 5-minute piece of moving image and 5 x still images

 What does ‘The One’ mean to you?

I have decided to explore the traditional Christmas markets as a theme of ‘The One’ because these small markets bring people far and wide all together to celebrate the Christmas holiday.

Inspiration

Rick Steves’ European Christmas (minute)

[i]In this video Rick Steve visits different European countries that all celebrate Christmas differently and with their own traditions. When he visits Germany the market he explores the market in Nurnberg, ‘Christkindle’ markets are all over Germany and are filled with traditions and vibrant atmospheres. Toy making plays a big part in German Christmas traditions, a lot of these toys displayed at the markets are shown in this documentary using a pan movement, which I decided to incorporate in my video as well with shots from cologne of a blacksmith as well as commercialised toys from London markets. This documentary talks about the origins of celebrating Christmas in German as it is Luther country. This was the decision to humanise Christmas and for gift giving to happen on December 25th, the German ‘Rausch’ angel comes from the idea that there is a ‘Christkind’ that delivers presents to all. You will see this angle presented up high at most Christkindle markets.

I decided for my film I wouldn’t have a presenter talking like a documentary but more of an advert to promote the commercialised venues celebrating Christmas themes.

Importance of sound and visuals

John Lewis Christmas Advert 2013

[ii] The editing in this advert goes extremely well with the lyrics of this song, it starts by setting the story by showing a snowflake meaning the bear would be going into hibernation for winter, the song is very soft which brings an emotion attachment to the advert already. The bear yawns along with the lyrics of ‘tired’ and then leaves the rabbit who looks sad. Then the rabbit brings a present to the bear, this scene cuts to everyone opening presents and then the bear turns up and looks amazing and happy joining all the fun. The present was an alarm clock which woke the bear p to this special day, I want to be able to find footage that goes along with the lyrics of my song that I chose for my advert.

[iii] When watching a film, the consumer has very little thought about what goes on when the camera stops rolling, according to Filipe Matins this is when the producers vision either becomes successful or isn’t reached. The choice of sound and how it is used to add to the emotional content of the film can really make or break an advert/video. Post production is all about connecting with your target audience, if you can appeal to your audience successfully then the outcome of advertising will be more long term rather than short term. When choosing music, I knew a soft, females voice would work well to create a magical feel to the film which is the trend when producing a Christmas advert or film. The song I chose was by Gabrielle Aplin, ‘Stay�� and it was an acoustic piano version which worked well with my vision.

Advertising

To link with the idea that sound and visuals must co-inside to create an emotion response from an audience, this typical convention is used in many Christmas adverts as an established literature theme.

[iv] Research indicates that adverts with music paying creates more of an affect which is critical in the way that consumers understand brand messages. I have decided to use a female vocalist with a soft voice which will appeal to more of an audience and therefore is influential upon consumer decision processes. 

[v] When a Christmas venue advertises there are trends which they know to follow to create a bigger audience base. A lot of venues will create unique wintery cocktails or use bright lights to suggest a magical wonderland. The advert above is for the Snow Kingdom Cinema near elephant and castle in central London, they create feel-good situations to incise consumers such as, blankets and beanbags that create a sense of ‘warmth’ and friendship. I want to include the same tunnel in my video as a beginning and end to keep an equilibrium to the story I want to tell which I think will go well for the film I want to make. In this advert the bright lights twinkle with the Disney like music that is playing, I want to try to include this type of feature in my film to link with the Christmas theme.

First Location

My first location that I filmed at was Bristol market, it was one of the smaller markets had Commercialised ideas about their German market.

I decided to try out my idea of following a girl’s path through the markets to link them altogether creating a story. I had my camera on a steadycam which was meant to stabilise the camera more however it proved quite difficult to use and keep stable. I had a storyboard figured out for this but because you just don’t know what they might have or what the atmosphere may be I didn’t follow my storyboard very much. To meet my chosen brief, I think that I want to capture the vibrant atmospheres that have made these markets so popular. I still will use a girl in my videos to ‘follow’ and that can link with the lyrics of my song ‘Stay’ by Gabrielle Aplin.

Development

This was exciting for me because I got to visit the main markets around cologne city centre and explore the traditions of the German culture. I didn’t have anyone with me to follow in this footage except on the ice rink, so I used this footage mostly to show unique traditions to the German celebrations and German toy making.

My shots always have people walking past but I liked that because it showed the pace of the atmosphere around me and put the audience into the crowds. 

I wanted to make sure I got the location and purpose of my film clearly, so I filmed all the names of the markets and any German words linked to the Christmas markets. After I visited a traditional German market I then visited Winter Wonderland, a private event in Hyde Park London. This market was filled with music, bright colourful lights and a lot of roller-coaster rides which is a very commercialised trend for London markets. However, it also had the wooden huts filled with traditional German food and drinks.

Commercialism

Its one thing creating a video advert for the run up to Christmas each year but if you can create enough buzz to last long term then that’s a successful video. This image shows the website for Hyde Parks Winter Wonderland, this event is hugely popular and vey commercial but has taken traditions from the German markets. The use of markets, rides, skating and traditional drinks and food means that, so many people will travel to this event to celebrate Christmas. This popularity means they can have a winter wonderland shop online and at the event, this publicity is what makes a great advert. This is what all venues will aim for when thinking about who to advertise, I obviously haven’t made a film focusing on one venue so mine film wouldn’t have this outcome in the long term.

Editing

In recent years there has been trends in adverts and visuals, because I had a mixture of night time shots and day time I had to colour correction my footage so that each the film flowed a lot better. The whimsical Christmas effects were my influence from the snow kingdom and John Lewis adverts, because of this, I knew when I was filming that certain bright colours would attract a similar kind of audience to those that the John Lewis adverts appeal to. When watching over my first edit, I realised that to make this film effective I had to make sure that my footage changed with the important parts of the song. For example, I put a beam effect on a piece of footage to make it go with the drums of the song.

I used techniques like fading at the end of the video to indicate the conclusion to my film, to keep equilibrium throughout I started and finished the film with the same footage. Another eye-catching effect would have been the lighting droplets in the second shot of footage, again starting in time with the music. Some clips have warming visuals such as a fire burning, when the lyrics talk about a friend or someone else I made sure I included footage of the girl I followed when I filmed at the markets.

Dissemination

For this brief I think my film would be used in the means the for the run up to Christmas, advertising the venues you can visit. played on smaller tv screens rather than on cinema screens in the ads before a film. I would also post this video on all social media platforms, this is because in this generation videos on Facebook that are about trendy new spots are very popular with consumers. 

Artist Statement 

My work for this module was driven by the uniqueness of German Christmas markets and how we have commercialised them across the world. I didn't want a cinematic documentary, I wanted to challenge how viewers don't think about the traditions and origins of certain events. By mixing together footage from commercialised markets and traditional markets, I think this showed a clear difference but will make consumers want to travel to experience these traditions all around the world. When editing I wanted there to be a modern theme throughout which is why I have followed a girl around and used her when the lyrics talk about a friend.

References

[i] steve, r. (2014). European Christmas. [video] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEqCJmOPCik [Accessed 14 May 2014].

 [ii] John Lewis Advert. (2013). [video] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NW2EmATcb6o [Accessed 14 Nov. 2013].

 [iii] Martins, F. (2016). The Importance of Sound in Film. ASFF. BAFTA BRITISH FILM FESTIVAL.

 [iv] Catwright.J, McComick.H, Warnaby.G: Consumers' emotional responses to the Christmas TV advertising of four retail brands. (2016). Journal of Retailing and Consumer Serives, 29, pp.82-91.

 [v] backyard cinema (2017). Snow Kingom Cinema. [video] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlBbAyrsSyc [Accessed 4 Nov. 2017].

[itdisneymatter]

Day 04 - Hollywood Studios

TLDR: Hollywood Studios today. Absolutely non stop for the first five hours, attraction highlights include Frozen Sing Along, Star Tours, & Indy. Oh and some awesome guy won Toy Story Mania :P We missed Tower of Terror due to a late family lunch at a Drive In style Diner. Awesome lunch. Heavy Rain. Rain jackets on. Home. Mall. Purchased a new laptop. Missed dinner with the rest of the group, due to the aforementioned late family lunch. No appetite for dinner. Wrote today's entry on the new laptop - so. much. fastness! Good decision. End.

Hoo-ray for Hollywood!

We had to hit Hollywood Studios early for Jedi Academy registration as you can't book it in advance, which meant skipping breakfast (I really shouldn't even expect anything else, should I?). Kids managed to grab a banana but Ann and myself were good to wait, though we did receive our regular morning coffees courtesy of my parents (or their hotel rather).

Patrick loves learning about everything and has been churning out little tidbits of impressive yet totally useless facts at random intervals since we got here. So I'm introducing a new segment for the blog, Patrick's Fun Fact of the Day. So Patrick's Fun Fact of the Day for today is this: 

Water is the only substance which is heavier in its liquid form than when its a solid. Hence why ice floats on water.

(Some research into this does reveal that there are a handful of other unusual substances which exhibit the same property, but I'm gonna give him this one - he's still only 10). Look out for future installments soon!

Once we reached Hollywood Studios, we made a bee-line for the Jedi Academy to register. I remember from last time that the queues and wait were massive, but this time it was much more efficient, which is no bad thing. Had a return time for late afternoon, after lunch, which meant that our morning plan (which was pretty jam-packed), was untouched.

A little light one to start us off, the Path Of the Jedi - a 10 minute video which was a compilation of some of the best bits from all the Star Wars movies. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times, before the Empire. I've seen the movies hundreds of time but hearing these opening lines from Alec Guinness, sent shivers down my spine. Then seeing Carrie Fisher as the feisty Princess Leia, only added to it. One thing I forgot to mention on the first day was Robin Williams being the sole reason for me choosing The Genie for my Magic Band. There are certain people who absence on this earth you still struggle to get your head around and reminders of them bring are always laced with a little sadness. Williams is one and Carrie Fisher is another. Seeing Princess Leia on screen is amazing and heartbreaking in equal measure. The Last Jedi is going to be a sore one for many people I think. Anyway I digress. Even my brother Michael, who has never really seen the movies (yeah I know), said they looked good and wouldn't mind watching them.

Next up, was For A First Time In Forever, a Frozen Sing Along Celebration.  I might have said this before but this was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time (except those funny Buzz-feed posts about people completely misspelling words - that shit is funny, man). The two main characters, some random unknown characters, though not as unknown as the Arendelle baby (family in-joke, sorry), but their patter and puns were just brilliant, I couldn't stop laughing! The show essentially was a karaoke for (most of) the songs from Frozen and the girls, who were singing away without missing a word, loved it. Side note, this scene in the movie is my most favorite-est part ever, and its not because I fancy Elsa (though it kind of is).

And here’s a few more, including Grace & Emily singing along to the finale, which covered the whole audience in a blanket of snow :)

More Star Wars-y goodness in Star Tours, our first Fast Pass, was up next. We were all placed in the first two rows so had great seats! Prior to lifting off in our little spacecraft piloted by the Galaxy's favourite robotic duo, Threepio and R2, they select a random in the audience, who has been identified as the Rebel Spy. And Emily was selected as the Rebel Spy!!! :D Great simulator ride through Kashyyyk, Naboo & the Gungan City and wee BB8 even made an appearance. The kids were howling and screaming every time we dodged a Star Destroyer or Tie Fighter - fantastic ride. Gracie then wanted to buy a Chewie and Lightsaber in the wee shop after the ride, but as we were returning though it best to do it then, instead of carrying it about all day, she wasn't too pleased (kids can be so impatient, haha).

Indy next, and this was the Epic Stunt Spectacular lived up to its name. Not really changed in the last few decades but still a must-see. Even wee Isabella was going really excited by all the explosions and acrobatics. Pictures speak louder than words as they say, so here’s a few from today.

Stopped for a breather as it was pretty non stop since getting to the park, so the guys got some lunch while we just opted for some desserts as we had lunch booked for later in the day at Sci-fi Dine In Theater. 

Reach For The Sky!

After everyone was re=energized it was time for a bit of friendly competition in our next Fast Pass: Toy Story Mania, a 3-D shooting game where points mean... well just points, so the highest one wins. I’ve been unbeaten at this for the last two trips so I was psyching myself up beforehand as there were a few new contenders on the block. 

The Official Toy Story Mania Leader-board 2017

Gerry: 175400

Corrie: 144200

Michael: 137300

Ann: 128300

Kevin: 121600

Patrick: 90400 (?)

Robert: 78200

Pauline: 73600

Mum: 53600

Wullie: 53400

Alessio: 30200

Gracie: 20400

Emily: 16500

Oh looks who's top... I retain my Toy Story Crown for another year and absolutely smashed last visits score of 143,000. BOOM! Now to find somewhere to get this printed and laminated! :P Just need to continue my streak on Men In Black and Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin and Ill have won the Treble! We just made Beauty and the Beast Musical last show after that, and had pretty poor seats way at the back. It didn’t help that there was a big guy sitting right in front of me, blocking my or rather my camera's, vision. Great show which mirrored the animated classic (just like the live action movie, like seriously, no change or twist at all???).

Although we were right next to The Twilight Zone Tower Of Terror after existing Beauty, we had lunch booked, so unfortunately had to skip out on our last Fast Pass. Emily talked non stop about the Tower Of Terror before the holiday so she was more than excited at this point and she absolutely loved it. She was joined with Kevin, Michael, Sarah Jane and Corrie. 

Attack Of The 50ft Woman!

I think the first time I seen the iconic poster for this movie was in McFly's - a bar in Coatbridge Main St, which was my first real pub growing up. Some fond memories in there, and many hazy ones. Sci-Fi Dine In Theater - this place was the real deal, Cadillacs for booths, a huge screen showing clips of 50s classics. 50's style waiters and waitresses, milkshakes, retro decor all in the style of a 50's drive in (think Jack Rabbit Slims in Pulp Fiction with a big screen). It was phenomenal and really glad we booked it, 180 days or so ago now. I went for a Reuben sandwich (awesome), Patrick, a Caprese sandwich (possibly slightly better than mine, possibly), Robert settled on a classic cheeseburger and Ann & Gracie split a rack of ribs and a stack of onion rings. Root beer all round save for me who went with a classic Cherry Coke which came topped with a cherry on top (which that wee sneak-thief Gracie snaffled while I was watching the big screen). All served by the lovely Flora. Bonus Fun Fact Of The Day from Patrick: There were 48 cars in total in the restaurant, each representing one of the 48 states in 1955 :D Our car was from California. Highly recommend this one for anyone visiting, if you like that sort of thing.

You are no Jedi.

When we exited it started raining, HARD. We all had rain jackets, including my camera bag (thank you Manfrotto, you wonderful, thoughtful camera bag maker, you). This was similar to the other night, but I supposed we were better prepared for it this time. We found out where the rest of the party was, and caught up with them. They had just came out of The Great Movie Ride, and after a quick discussion, we agreed that heading home would be the best option. We had covered most of the main rides, with only a few smaller ones remaining, so not really missing anything. Leaving meant no Jedi Training, but they call off the Academy in the event of heavy rain anyway, so we may want to catch it again on our return (you could even call it, Return Of The Jedi! Ok, Ill shut up). We said our goodbyes (quickly) to the other party and set off from the park in a nice warm car (which is usually a bad thing, most days). We were comparing it to the day we visited Typhoon Lagoon two years ago, when it absolutely poured and it was such a vivid memory as the traffic was horrendously bad and took forever to get home. Then we ended up on Same road as typhoon lagoon, dun dun DUN! No delays this time around though, which was good.

Now Tuesday is Kids Eat Free at Miller's Alehouse and we had pre-arranged to all go there tonight, well except that I forgot that our lunch was so late at Hollywood, which meant we had not long eaten. So we dropped my mum and dad off at their hotel and said that we'd see how we felt about dinner later on. For the past few days Id been scouring the internet look for a laptop to replace the absolute dinosaur of a machine that I brought with me. The prices in general were pretty terrific, so I'd narrowed down a few from Best Buy and we made a plan to go pick one up. We got to the shop, where we were instantly set upon by a server asking what I was looking for, I explained the particular model, and she showed them to me. She then asked what it was for and I explained it was for internet and some photo editing. She then directed me towards some laptops at double the price, saying that these ones had touchscreen and had a better processor (it actually had the same processor, but I let it go). I mean don’t get me wrong she was pleasant enough, but don’t try and sell people Office by calling it 'Microsoft' - you either don’t know your stuff or that’s just a sales tactic to trip anyone up who doesn't know any better. I got the feeling it was the later after the hard sell on everything else, which is just plain wrong.

The thing is I wasn't planning to buy a laptop over here but after seeing the prices thought it would be good idea, but I really didn't want to spend a lot on it. To put it in perspective, the one I was looking at was $449 - the same spec machine in PC World back home was 500 quid! I don’t think the assistant really knew what she was talking about in all fairness, though it didn't help with Ann calling Lightroom, LIGHTNING ROOM! Haha, it was like that sketch from The Interns where Vince Vaughn kept saying 'On The Line' instead of Online. Wee soul :P

Going out to the Mall we got stuck in traffic, which meant that going for dinner was definitely out for us. Werent particularly hunger still, so just picked up some snacks, on the way home. When I unpacked and set up the laptop (it took a while to download and install Lightning Room ;) but I was more than impressed. Example - on the first night it took over 4hrs to download around 500 images from a 16Gb memory card. This laptop took less than 10 minutes to do the same. It actually seems to run faster than my Mac at home, so might need to look into a wee upgrade in the near future. On a complete unrelated note, Ann is  the most beautiful-est, prettiest girl in all the seven kingdoms... ;) 

To round off today, here’s our first wee family pic from Memory Maker taken this afternoon (when it was still sunny :)