#its like they ran out of budget in the way cartoons portray it and had to rush the end

[m33p2]

I watched the 2004 movie Van Hellsing recently. What a insane movie. It has an ending so sudden that I made a joke about "what if it ended right here?" And in classic don't make jokes fashion *BAM* credits.

[scruffyplayssonic]

Are the ArchieSonic comics actually an 80's/90's syndicated cartoon? Episode 63: Clip show to set up two-part finale 

Welcome back to my look at the ArchieSonic comic series, and how it shared a lot of the same story tropes as a typical ‘80s or ‘90s syndicated cartoon! Well it’s taken me a long time to get here - I first started this series back in December of 2022! But we’re almost at the end of our investigation at long last.

Episode 63: Clip show to set up two-part finale 

This is a trope you see in media from time to time - they’ll make the second-to-last story of the series a clip show, recapping what happened earlier in the season. This serves two purposes - to catch viewers up on what’s happened so far, and also to save the crew time and budget that they can put towards making a spectacular finale instead. That said, the first purpose is probably a little rarer these days as almost all shows that have a serialised story will have a “Previously on…” segment at the beginning of each episode, and a longer one that recaps the entire season for the finale. Some shows really lean hard into this - take Supernatural for example, which set all 15 of its season finales to the music of, “Carry on My Wayward Son,” by Kansas.

In my opinion, the best ever pre-series finale clip show was done by Avatar: The Last Airbender. Instead of doing a typical clip show that re-used footage from previous episodes, Team Avatar attended a play that retold the story of their adventures up until this point. This episode leaned heavily into a lot of the show’s memes, such as the play acknowledging that it would be best to skip over The Great Divide, what most fanss feel is the worst episode of the series. Aang and friends were upset with the way the actors on stage were portraying them, with Aang being outraged he was being played by a bald woman, Sokka annoyed that his actor’s jokes weren’t funny, and Zuko and Katara insisting that they don’t spend all day long talking about honour and hope, respectively.

The only exception was Toph, who was delighted to be portrayed by a gigantic buff dude who overcame his blindness by using echo-location screaming.

But what about in ArchieSonic? Sure, we had clip shows. And we had a number of different stories one could count as series finales. But we didn’t really get a pre-finale clip show episode. So what did we get instead?

While it wasn’t in the final ever-published issue of Sonic the Hedgehog, the story “Panic in the Sky,” which ran in issues 284 - 287, more or less serves as a finale to the series. I’ll go into that more when I get to it. Today I want to talk about the issue that came before those, Sonic #283. Taking place right before the climax of the Sonic Unleashed adaptation, at this point of the story the Freedom Fighters had managed to get their hands on all the Chaos Emeralds and Gaia Temple keys, and were preparing to launch their plan to restore the planet. Rather than visiting each of the Gaia Temples across the world one at a time like in the game, the Freedom Fighters planned to take advantage of the Gaia Gate to access all the temples at once from a central location. The idea was that they could quickly slip inside via the gate, avoiding Eggman’s armies that were guarding the temples and restoring the planet before Eggman even realised what was happening. But to do this they needed help, so Sonic and Sally did a Discord call with their friends and allies around the world. 

This had the benefit of also acting as an almost-clipshow for the readers, catching them up with what had been happening and preparing them for the climax. 

Everyone in the call agreed to help and the Freedom Fighters signed off in good spirits, confident that they had managed to pull one over on Eggman. However…

Tails Doll was able to spy on the broadcast without the Freedom Fighters realising it, and so Eggman quickly found out about their secret plan.

While initially furious that the Freedom Fighters had tried to trick him, Eggman quickly realised he could turn their plans against them and got to work hosting his own secret Zoom call.

How did this turn out for everyone? I’ll get into that next episode!

There was of course another story that was originally intended to be the grand finale for ArchieSonic, and that was the Endgame arc that took place in Sonic #47 - 50. While the series obviously didn’t end there, I feel like we should have a look at that one too. So did we get a clip show in the previous issue, Sonic #46? Well… not really. 

The closest we got was Uncle Chuck presenting video evidence to the Freedom Fighters that Robotnik had sabotaged his original roboticiser design. Notably this included footage of Sonic’s own father being roboticised, which bizarrely Sonic didn’t seem to notice or comment on.

That seems like quite an oversight. Who wrote this anyway? Three guesses it’s-

…oh. Well, I was partially right at least. 😛

While this issue wasn’t really a clip show, it did have a lot of set up for the Endgame arc.

This included the resolution of Knuckles’ quest to find King Acorn’s missing sword that could supposedly restore his health…

…the introduction of the Wolfpack Freedom Fighters (who had previously only been seen in SatAM and were making their first appearance in the comics)...

…and the revelation that there might be a spy among us.

Sorry, I had to. 😛 Seriously though, the suggestion that someone among the various Freedom Fighter groups might be a traitor was a pretty serious allegation, especially right before the big Endgame event the readers knew was coming. And there were numerous candidates for who the traitor could be.

Geoffrey pointed the finger at Uncle Chuck, whose spy network had failed to notice the coming of the Death Egg and had already had one confirmed traitor working for them.

Antoine accused Geoffrey, who he claimed had stolen the D’Coolette family’s legacy of the Rebel Underground.

Also, the way he attempted to execute Sonic just for punching him in the face certainly didn’t make him look any less suspicious.

And then there was Drago, a new character who had been introduced in that same issue, who wasn’t even part of the SatAM Wolfpack, and who apparently had a habit of wandering off unsupervised. Hmmmm…

HMMMMMMMM.

But wait! The following issue hit us with the possibility that Sonic himself might possibly be the traitor! …more on that later though. For now, let's finish our discussion of #46 with my very favourite moment:

Leave it to the dragon to have the sick burn! :D

One other clipshow that I wanted to address - and haven’t previously in either of the other two episodes I dedicated to this topic - comes from Sonic #72.

I think I did bring this one up at some point in a different topic, but not in the context of a clipshow episode. This story was about King Max making a broadcast to his people only for the airwaves to be hacked to instead show a pirated broadcast telling the life story of the late Dr. Robotnik.

This clipshow wasn’t set prior to a finale, but rather just before the beginning of a new era in the comic - the rise of Robo-Robotnik (or as he would later be called, Dr. Eggman). This was very cleverly done if you ask me.

It not only reminded the readers of Robotnik’s backstory but also of his encounter with Robo-Robotnik back in Sonic #22, hinting at who the new villain’s real identity so that the big reveal in #75 didn’t feel like it came out of nowhere. On top of that the clipshow also foreshadowed things to come in the next year or two in the comic, such as the return of Overlanders to the planet, and specifically, Robotnik’s brother.

Well played, Karl Bollers!

Are there any other clip shows that I missed, in this episode or any of the previous ones? Let me know in the comments! Next time I’m going to start wrapping things up, because it’s finally time to talk about the two-part four-part finale! See you then!

[haydennation]

A Star Reborn: Elle Magazine Interview (February 2008)

No matter how romantic, dissolute, or beatnik he played it, Hayden Christensen just couldn’t lose the long arm of Star Wars. Until, that is, he starred in this month’s hotly anticipated, Jumper and ditched Darth Vader for good. Interview by Sarah Bernard When George Lucas plucked Hayden Christensen from teen-TV obscurity to play Darth before he was dark in Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, it was a career making break. It was also the kind of opportunity that could set up a young actor to fail spectacularly. Christensen wouldn’t have been the first 19 year old to let fame turn him into an intolerable party boy, or the first to flame out, Mark Hamill-style. But Christensen’s post-Vader life hasn’t followed either of those scripts. Since hanging up his lightsaber, he has made a handful of small films, the best of which was Shattered Glass, which he also produced. His portrayal of journalist-turned-plagiarist Stephen Glass, complete with dorky glasses and khakis, was a perfectly creepy rendering of ambition and desperate defiance. In Factory Girl, the Andy Warhol biopic, he played a Dylan-esque musician. The movie was so god-awful that Christensen has never seen it. “And I don’t think I ever will,” he says. He had originally signed up to play Bob Dylan, but Dylan didn’t like the way the film portrayed his relationship with Edie Sedgwick and threatened to sue. “The producers called a week later saying, ‘We can’t call him Bob Dylan.’ I said, ‘Okay, I can play Bob in my head,” says Christensen, who more or less worships the singer. But Dylan saw the final cut and still wasn’t pleased. Most of Christensen’s scenes had to be scrapped, and those that did survive had to be completely redubbed so that he sounded less Dylan-like. “It was really depressing,” the actor says. In 2007’s Awake, he played a wealthy businessman (his wife is played by Jessica Alba) who finds himself conscious during heart surgery. The film came and went in a weekend. When Christensen tried to bolt from the premiere’s screening, he says Harvey Weinstein, the film’s producer, told him, “I’ll sit next you with handcuffs if I have to.” In this odd collection of projects, there is a through line: characters who are not quite what they seem at first, possessing a mix of innocence and malevolence. Those are the parts that Christensen loves to play and what attracted to the starring role in this month’s Jumper, a sci-fi thriller about a bank robber with a talent for teleportation. It’s directed by Doug Liman, who turned Matt Damon into an assassin with a soul in Bourne Identity and matched Brad and Angelina in Mr. and Mrs. Smith.  “I think people who see this film will view Hayden as having emerged they viewed Matt as having emerged…[But the reality is, both Matt and Hayden had done phenomenal work before,” says Liman. “You just had to look at Good Will Hunting and Shattered Glass to see there was a star there.” Christensen is not one of those celebrities who always craves an audience, as he sits in a Tribeca bar in New York City answering questions, he’s wearing a Bathing Ape baseball cap pulled low over his brow. His features are so delicate, they’re almost pretty. In fact, he was the face of Louis Vuitton Menswear in fall-winter 2004-2005. (“He reminds of a young Paul Newman,” says Simon Kinsberg, who co-wrote Jumper as well as Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the third installment in the X-Men franchise.) The actor’s idea of fun is manning the excavator on the farm he recently bought an hour north of Toronto, the city where he grew up and where his family still lives. Like any good Canadian kid, he was hockey-obsessed and dreamed of playing for the Maple Leafs. He also played competitive tennis, and when he was a ball boy at the Canadian Open, he was nearly clocked with a racquet hurled by a tantrumming John McEnroe. (A clip of the near miss made the nightly news.) Christensen’s mother, Ali, and father, David, ran a communications consulting business together. He has an older brother, Tove (who now heads, with Hayden, a production company, Forest Park Pictures), and two sisters: Hejsa, a former junior world trampoline champion, and Kaylen. The whole clan spent time in Australia during the filming of Star Wars, where Christensen’s sisters even became tight with George Lucas’ daughters. When Lucas invited the girls along on a yacht vacation, Hejsa really hit it off with the boat’s captain. They married a year and a half ago in Antigua, with Lucas in attendance. “She’s sort of responsible for me having the career that I have,” says Christensen, “and I’m indirectly responsible for her family.” Listen to him talk, and it’s hard to believe he isn’t just a farm boy himself. For one thing, he mumbles. He also slurps his Coke like a little kid. Then orders another.

“I thought I had a sense of what it meant to be a down to earth, regular actor,” says Liman. “Then I met Hayden, and suddenly everyone else seems like a primadonna.” During one of many reshoots, Liman realized his star’s hair has gotten longer and lighter from the sun. “Hayden’s like, ‘no problem,’” says Liman. “He gets the scissors and the trimmer out and cuts his own hair in my bathroom! I’m terrified because we have some shooting coming up and if I mess up his hair, someone’s going to kill me. I go, ‘Are you sure you should be putting those scissors to your hair?’ He goes, ‘I was cutting my hair through the whole movie.’” “He is so sweet and so humble and approachable, and loving,” adds Jessica Alba. “He literally hugs everybody on the crew and knows all their first names, every day. He’ll say good morning, give everyone a hug. He’s so present and happy and sweet. It’s crazy. And then you’re like ‘Oh, he’s Canadian.’” ‘Menschy’ is how Kinberg describes him. “So much that wondered when I’d get to see the other side.” It’s an earnestness with an edge, like a scrim that’s hiding something uglier, messier, darker. “He’s incredibly good at lying,” says Jamie Bell, his Jumper costar. “That element of ‘I’m totally pulling the wool over your eyes.’ He’s good at that.” Darth Vader is a cartoon version of this of course. There were lots of intense stares and heavy brows in that performance. But to be fair, Star Wars has never been known for its thespianism, and delivering stilted dialogue with imaginary droids against a green screen doesn’t leave an actor much room for subtlety. Maybe Christensen was reacting to that when he played Sam Monroe, the pill-popping part time prostitute teenage son of Kevin Kline in 2001’s Life as a House. In the opening scene, Sam wakes up, sniffs a rag doused with paint thinner, sticks his head through a noose in his closet, and jacks off, until the clothes rack collapses on top of him and his mom opens the door. And that’s before the title sequence is finished. Christensen threw himself into Sam both emotionally and physically. He says ‘It was my means of rebelling,” from Star Wars one assumes. He shed 25 pounds on a diet of salad and water, dyed his blond hair black and cobalt blue, and shaved his legs to look as young and sickly as possible. The result was a performance with vulnerability and angst and full-fledged rage, all twined together like a heap if twisted steel. And because Life as a House came out before Attack of the Clones, it was actually Sam in all his Goth glory (piercings, eye shadow), not the falling Jedi Knight, who introduced the actor to the movie going public. He earned a Golden Globe nomination for his work in House, as well as a fair amount of tortured teen credibility. At that point, tortured teens were something of a Christensen specialty. In 2000, the year he got Star Wars, he was living in Vancouver and playing Scott Barringer, a drug addicted, sexually molested teenager on Fox Family’s Higher Ground. When he was summoned to Lucas’ Skywalker Ranch in Northern California for a face-to-face reading with Natalie Portman, he threw up on the ride there. It was his and Portman’s chemistry that the unknown Canadian was the one. “Hayden is immediately appealing, both in person and on screen, because he knows how to balance his strength with his sensitivity,” Lucas emails. “I think he has a great acting career ahead of him.” The filming of Attack of The Clones and then Revenge of the Sith consumed a good five years of Christensen’s life-an eternity in the career of a hot young actor. He tried moving on, focusing on indie films, sharing the stage in London in 2002 with Jake Gyllenhaal in Kenneth Lonergan’s This Is Our Youth, a play about three rich-kid slackers in 1980s New York. Still he could not get away from Star Wars. Boxes of paraphernalia continued to arrive. “They have to send me one of everything produced,” he says. “It’s nuts. The first I opened: ‘Oh that’s cool. A little figurine of me,’ All sorts of lunch boxes, potato chips. I don’t even open them anymore. I had to get storage space because my parents’ basement overcrowded. My mom was like, ‘Enough!’�� So when his agent told him about Jumper, he didn’t jump at it. “They said it was sort of science fiction, there was a franchise possibility,” he says. “And I was like, ‘does this really sound like something I’d be keen to do? I was franchise scared.” Then he found out it was being directed by Doug Liman, who has a way of infusing an emotional quotient into the star roles of his big budget action pictures. The first meeting between them was, according to both, like a great first date. Christensen has a farm. Liman has a farm. Christensen was off to a flying lesson that day. Liman is a pilot. The director invited Christensen to his apartment in New York, where they met with Kinberg and with Bell, who’d already been cast. (Liman had begun filming Jumper with Tom Sturridge as the lead, then halted production because Sturridge looked too young for the part, Kinberg says.) Christensen plays Davey, a callow young guy with a sweet, sexy girlfriend (Rachel Bilson) and the secret superpower to ‘jump’ teleport himself anywhere in the world by picturing the place. Thinking he’s the only one with such skils, Davey is blithely breaking into banks and living the high life in Manhattan when one day, a white-afroed Samuel L Jackson (Christensen’s Star Wars costar) shows up and tries to get medieval on his ass. Jackson, part of a jumper secret police, doesn’t want rogue teleporters jumping about. Disrupts the universe, you see. Liman and the crew discussed the script and debated what a jump would look like. “We started improvising, throwing out ideas,” says Christensen. A week later, Liman called and asked him back to do it all again. When Christensen was finally offered the part, the group continued to meet as a collective several times a week. “My character’s way of dealing with things is he doesn’t confront his problems. He’s always avoiding them. One day I was saying to Jamie, ‘My superpower is I can run away from anything.’ And Doug was like, ‘Wait, wait, wait! That’s your character! The fundamental undercurrent.”   It is the perfect superpower for a guy: the ability to literally bail when things get tough. “A very guy thing, yeah.” Christensen says with a laugh. Jumper was the opposite of the closed door ways of Star Wars, where they’re George’s characters,” the actor says. “I was stepping into something preexisting.” Now he was getting to be part of that defining process and he was thrilled. Not that Liman’s defining process is any cake walk. For him, scripts are never finished and actors are ever in discovery mode. Often they’d shoot a scene one way, discuss it, come up with a better idea, and shoot again. This happened whether they were on a soundstage in Toronto or on location in Tokyo, Paris, Prague, London, or Rome, where they got permission to film inside the Colosseum, the first film to do so in decades. Liman is also spontaneous, to the extreme. Driving through Times Square with Bell and Christensen, he decided that it would be good to get them fighting in traffic. So he stopped the van, ordered them out, and manned the camera himself as his starts rolled around on the pavement mid the cars and pedestrians. A good portion of the film has Christensen pummeling himself onto the floor, up against walls. Says Bell, “Hayden was tortured on this movie.” Well, not entirely tortured. Reports are that Christensen and Bilson are dating-there are pictures of her feeding him, of her puppy getting into his Ferarri, of her and Christensen running errands Best Buy-but he refuses to discuss it. What he will say is, “She’s awesome. She’s a very, very beautiful girl. She’s special. She’s one the sweetest, most gentle, kindhearted people I’ve ever met.” Christensen’s Jumper performance may be the one that finally overrides everything else on his resume. “Doug is really good at making guys look cool,” says Kinberg. Liman couldn’t agree more: “I have the reputation for getting just the right actor at the right point in their career. I think people will say I just did it again.” But even a director as self-confident as Liman is no match for the Force. Christensen tells how, on a recent head clearing trip to the Bahamas, he stopped in at a ‘really local, really basic market’. And there on the shelf was an ancient box of cereal with his mug as Anakin in that signature shag. Says Christensen; “I wanted to go up and ask the guy, ‘Are you sure that should still be on the shelf?’”

[theretroperspective-blog]

Let It B

Ah, the B-movie. It had been a source of entertainment for many a stood-up date or theater talk-back participant about as long as the genre has existed. But what IS a B-movie? We've all seen 'em ( and know almost instantly when we have), but what makes a film "B"? What does a movie need in order to be "B"? And what of the iconic B actor? Who chooses to have a career that, in its basest form, means 'sub-par'? B-ACK STORY B-movies (the term) first came about during Hollywood's Golden Age. The name was for movies meant for distribution as the less-publicized, bottom-half of a double feature. In the later '20's (27-28), during the final days of the silent era, the production cost of feature films from major studios averaged between $190'000 to $275'000. During the time when bigger budgeted films weren't being made, studios still had to pay for sound stages, actors they had on retainer, and hired crew. These studios would make low-budget (i.e. lower quality) flicks in order to make extra cash as well as continue to use their people (mostly to keep them from fleeing to other studios), and would sell these lower films alongside their major productions. In laymens' terms, a B-movie is much like the B-side of an album. (For my youngun's, albums are what music USED to come on. Questions at the bottom, please.) Basically these smaller, cheaper flicks got put into theaters to cover run times between bigger pictures. This then led to micro-budgeted studios creating their own B-movies to sell to the studios at cost (usually producing them at around $30'000 and recouping cost plus). All of this comes about, again, due to the end of the silent era. During that time films were preceded by live acts and a variety of short films and news reels. Once sound became law, those were mostly dropped, and in came cartoons and serials, which were followed by a double feature, the first being the B-film, mainly to draw more money from the viewer. But the major studios soon caught on, developing B-units to produce those less expensive films on-site, nearly killing the indie studios (until the indie-wave of the 70's, but that's another blog). With this came the game of BLOCK BOOKING; or, to get access to a studios' more profitable features, theaters would HAVE to also buy their B-movie in a double-feature set. Along with this insidious scheme came BLIND BOOKING, where theaters would have to take the B-movie sight-unseen. In this way studios were assured a good profit on the lower-grade flick, no matter how awful it might be. The innocent years of Hollywood folks! However, many B-movies were serials, with an actor continuing to play the same character in each, such as the 'Andy Hardy' films staring Mickey Rooney. MOVING ON While the original meaning of the term B-movie ended with the double-feature production ceasing in the 50's, the term is still used for films that don't quite meet A-level criteria. "B-movie" now brings connotations of lower-quality films - which isn't ALWAYS true... To quote Wiki: "In it's current usage, the term has somewhat contradictory connotations; it may signal an opinion that a certain movie is (a) a genre film with minimal artistic ambitions ("Sharknado"), or (b) a lively, energetic film uninhibited by the constraints imposed on more expensive projects and unburdened by the conventions of putatively 'serious' independent film ("Turbo Kid"). Or, in more basic terms: A B-movie is a low-budget commercial film that's NOT art house. The term is now also used for high-budgeted flicks with exploitation-style content (such as much of Tarantino's work). But much good has come from the B-movie genre! Some high profile directors like Jonathan Demme began with B-movies. And it's where many A-level actors got their starts. Recent Oscar winner Leonardo DiCaprio got his start in "Critters 3". "June Bug" star Amy Adams got through in "Cruel Intentions 2". And Charlize Theron didn't even have a line in "Children of the Corn 3 : Urban Harvest". And one of the more well known is Jennifer Aniston's turn in the cult classic (and where's my blog on those?) "Leprechaun". And neat-o, there's my segway! BACTORS Both John Wayne and Jack Nicholsen got their start in B-movies, too. As well as our former president Ronald Reagan, who was a B-movie star before he ran our country. But there are MANY actors who are known simply for their B-movie work alone. Here's a list of them (in no order other than as I remember them). PJ SOLES: I know her from the 1979 "Rock 'n' Roll Highschool", about a young girl who idolized one of the world's greatest bands, the Ramones; but she also played the tomboy menace Norma in "Carrie", and doomed-to-die friend Lynda in "Halloween". CRISPIN GLOVER: He became a Hollywood staple, and Lorraine's 'density' in "Back to the Future" as George McFly, and recently was the Red Knave in Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland", but Glover got his start way back in 81 in a TV movie called "Best of Times", and as the star of the cult hit "Willard". MEG FOSTER: She was a woman looking for love - round 2 - in "The Step Father 2", and played 'Holly' in "They Live" alongside Rowdy Piper, but is most recognized portraying Evil-Lyn in the live-action He-Man movie, "Masters of the Universe". CLINT HOWARD: The brother of director Ron Howard, Clint began as a child actor, but has continued with films like "The Ice-Scream Man", "The Fun House Massacre", and "Nobody Gets Out Alive". TOM SAVINI: Tom was originally a SFX creator for "Friday the 13th", but he's also had quite the acting career in films like "Creep Show 2", "From Dusk 'till Dawn", and "The Perks of Being a Wallflower". BRAD DOURIF: He's now a part of the "Lord of the Rings" legacy since playing Wormtongue in "The Two Towers", but he's always been well known by voice, if not face, as Chuckey in every single "Child's Play" film in the franchise. He also stared alongside Jack Nicholsen in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". MICHAEL IRONSIDE: Most recently he portrayed the zealot Zeus in the fantastic "Turbo Kid", but Ironside's been working since the 70's, including "Scanners", "The Hitchhiker", and a personal favorite, the TV show "Sea Quest". CHRISTOPHER LAMBERT: The one and only true 'Highlander', Lambert's also known for playing Lord Rayden in the live-action version of "Mortal Kombat". CLANCY BROWN: I first spotted him in "Highlander" as well, playing psychopath Victor Kruger, but Brown's gone on to have a formidable career on-screen as well as with voice work, playing Lex Luthor in the animated "Superman" series. But I also knew him as Drew's step-dad Gus from "Pet Semetary 2". BRUCE CAMPBELL: Probably the most recognized B-movie actor of all time, Campbell started in the "Evil Dead" series, and has continued being our hero in shows like "Burn Notice" and "Ash VS. the Evil Dead". This might be where I'd say "All hail the king, baby!", but you get what I'm saying. Moving on. BUT THEY'RE A TO US 'We all have different opinions' blah-blah, 'they're like assholes' yadda-yadda. But there have been B-movies that have, through that grand test of time, been elevated to A-level status by their fans. Usually they're referred to as 'Cult Classics', but we all know we'd watch them in leu of some of the newer, block-busting behemoths of today, given the choice. Maybe it's because of previously stated stars, maybe it's the special effects, or maybe they're just so off the beaten path that we just can't help but fall in love with their weirdness. So here are some of the best - no real order, and nowhere close to the total list. THE EVIL DEAD SERIES There's lots of arguments over whether the original film "Evil Dead" should be included, but Sam Rami's occult trilogy is deeply beloved. From the supreme low-budget gore to Bruce Campbell's chin, this series holds one of the highest Rotten Tomatoes scores on the site, even beating out it's recent remake. Eat it, Dead-its! IRON SKY What IS it with Nazi's?? Why do we like watching them die so damn much? Think it was the genocide? Pretty sure it was the genocide. What-ever, this film's premise is enough. Nazi's waiting on the dark side of the moon to launch a final attack on Earth. Wow. I'm pretty certain I know THAT'S how the funding came through. DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS I don't know a film fan that hasn't seen this movie. Its premise is its title. It's a bed. It eats people. SHARKNADO There's FOUR of these fucking movies. No wait, FIVE. I don't get it, but it hit a large enough portion of viewers. Welcome back, Tara Reid. THE BLOB Classic (in general and actual terms) B-movie fare. A gigantic blob that consumes everything in its way. First appearing in the 50's with a young Steve McQueen, it got remade in the 80's and is supposedly being remade again. ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES So, mutant tomatoes decide to start eating us. Vegetarians in the 70's were shaking in their faux suede shoes, I'm sure. BASKET CASE Oh man, do I love this one. A man is born with a homicidal deformed Siamese twin that gets detached via surgery, so the two brothers decide to go after those that separated them. And the deformed one gets carried around in a basket. GET IT?!?! POULTRYGEIST:NIGHT OF THE CHICKEN DEAD Full disclosure - I know one of the SFX guys who worked on this Troma feature. Just look for the talking shit sandwich. BEASTMASTER A guy who can talk to animals goes after a power hungry war lord who sacrifices children. And man-bats. TROLL 2 The best- worst movie ever made. But sadly, no trolls. Just goblins. Please go check some of these films out. PLEASE. You're just hating yourself if you don't. So B-movies live on, as they should. Because we all need to be reminded of what a mediocre world we really live in.