#its like if wikihow was animated

[canadianno]

Oh God this one might not be niche but it sure as hell haunts me!!

Context, born and raised in Canada, southern Ontario specifically, still live here lol.

When I was little, growing up in a public school, every year they would host an assembly in the gym. They'd make us all sit on the floor and then these people would come in and play these really mechanically animated videos about bus safety, and then this fuckin. Little remote control bus- which was not little for a first grader, it was like the size of most of us- would come FLYING out onto the gym floor? And spin around n shit? And I know for a fact that it could blink, like- it was a machine and probably had a button on its remote control somewhere. But I also swear that little bus could?? Talk??

I just. Wanna know what happened to that. Because they just stopped hosting those when the school got rebuilt.

this is 100% bait for my mutuals to talk to me but what is one piece of obscure (and I mean obscure, smth you doubt majority of your friends and/or peers wouldn't know) media y'all love?

I'll go first: the They Might Be Giants: Here Come the ABCs album dvd; I watched it so much growing up as a young kid lol

[blueberrymocha]

on your period ❜┊˚͙۪۪̥◌

┌──────────────────────────────────────┐

ׂ╰┈➤ fluff

➣ characters: gon, killua, kurapika, leorio, hisoka, illumi, chrollo

➣ warnings: f. reader

➣ a/n: brought to you by my excruciating cramps in the middle of walmart AND their broken bathroom :)

└──────────────────────┘

gon

- he’s the definition of “a little lost but he’s got the spirit”

- he’s never heard of periods before, so it caused him great concern as you explained you were bleeding for a week straight

- his intentions are so so pure, but i would personally not trust him to get any supplies

- you’ll ask for heavy pads and he’ll get you panty liners

- or ibuprofen and he’d grab sleeping medicine

- it’s just that as a boy (with no sisters or female friends) who has such a strong immune system, and lives in the middle of nowhere,

- this is probably the first time he’s even stepped foot into those aisles

- but luckily, he provides amazing support and company

- if you want to stay in all day and snuggle up to a movie? he’s on board

- those few days will be entirely about you

- he’d be super reassuring if you bled through clothes or sheets, offering to wash them for you

killua

- similar to gon, he really doesn’t know too much about it

- he’s heard of it before, but has never looked into it

- of course, he’d hate to sound stupid when offering help, so he skims through something like Wikihow for a bit to make sure he has his facts straight

- when buying products for you, he wouldn’t know which one to get

- so he’d buy them all, hiding them in the car while he confirms which you need

(i just know silva would be mad confused seeing a $50 purchase of pads and tampons on the card killua stole from him)

- he’s not a touchy person, even if you’re on your period, so expect to initiate everything

- he’d order from your favorite takeout spot, and get whatever else you asked him for

- so in the future, he’s a lot better prepared

- and the next time you mention your period started again, the stuffed animals and heating pad would already be dug out from the closet

kurapika

- he’s well informed on menstruation, mostly from his understanding of anatomy and books he’s read here and there

- of course, he likely won’t be around all the time

- that is unless you have a particularly bad cycle

- if you’re the type who has super heavy bleeding, sheet gripping cramps, bad mood swings; he’s definitely there for you

- he’d bust out his limited cooking skills, serving up the best dish he can for you (if it’s that bad, he’ll order something)

- though he’s usually not super affectionate, he’d be very gentle during this time, his arms practically glued around you

- he’d stop by on his lunch break and text you the whole day

- now if your period is more tame, he’d still do these things, just to a less frequent degree

- and just saying—he’s not at all scared of a little blood if it’ll alleviate the cramps

leorio

- as a medical student, he has a deep understanding of it

- he’d ask to track your period and symptoms to make sure nothing is abnormal there

- if you were insecure about being bloated or breaking out, he’d instantly shoot it down

- your body is just doing its job, he would never want you to feel unattractive over that

- while he’s at school, he’d send you short texts reminding you to drink water and take it easy

- if you had any cravings, he’d probably tell you no, but then cave and buy it anyways

“don’t expect me to do this next time..”

*does it next time*

hisoka

- is a lot more knowledgeable than you’d expect

- like he might be an apathetic killer clown, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t know the way around a woman’s body

- now unless you get truly horrible symptoms, he doesn’t care if you’re on your period or not

- to him, it happens every month, so you should be used to it enough to not need comfort and help

- unless he saw you—with all your usual strength and power—curled up in pain on your bed

- he has a very begrudging vibe about him

- obviously, empathy and care aren’t quite his style

- but seeing you suffering so much.. it does something to his brain

- he’d stay with you during those few days, running all the supply trips you need

- also, he finds your mood swings very amusing, which is half the reason he wants to be by your side during this time

illumi

- he really doesn’t know what to do, and the only person he can ask for advice is kikyo

- and i imagine she was the kind of person to tell other women to suck it up because it’s ‘not that bad’

- but as he sees you gritting your teeth, moping around—that doesn’t sound right to him

- he’d merely sit there with you, maybe placing a tentative hand on your back

- later that day, all the female butlers are called in for a private meeting

- after weighing in their opinions, and instructing them to take care of you, he’d buy all the items they pointed him towards

- because as emotionless as he is, he understands that someone he loves is experiencing discomfort, and he doesn’t want that

- but your mood swings would definitely throw him off

- he thought he was doing a good job, yet you were still irritated at him

- and the next day, you’d be tearing up over some cliche movie ending

- after you explain it to him, he’s now intrigued by what other symptoms might occur during your cycle

- he’d fall down a rabbit hole, looking for stories of how other people handle it

- and next month he’s even better at taking care of you

chrollo

- he would already have been tracking it for you, reminding you a few days before in case you didn’t know

- he has a good understanding of periods, and makes sure to ask you specifically what you need from him

- your comfort is always a priority after all

- would still go on his usual missions, but has machi, paku, or shizuku check on you while he’s away

- when he is home, he’s remarkably gentle with you

- the house would already be stocked with supplies, so there’s no need for him to make any extra trips to the store

- additionally, he’s very encouraging and respectful about them

- it’s a natural body process, one that’ll allow you to have children in the future, making it almost sacred to him

[formulakracing]

the (not so subtle) art of a crush - t.w.

pairing: female driver!reader x toto wolff

word count: 777

warnings: toto being down bad, some teasing, sexual innuendos, one-sided yearning, yadayadayada

a/n: this was a request made by an anon (i believe!) this is also sort of a spin-off of fanboy behavior, which i absolutely adored writing. i think yearning (and well.. down bad) toto is my favorite toto to write! i hope y'all enjoy! <3

"and tell me," the driver's accent is crisp as he licks his lips, "why do you need help creating an instagram account again?"

"nothing major," a figure shrugs, fiddling with a loose thread in his wrinkled white polo, "i just want to stay in the loop. that's all."

"toto," a new voice chimes in, "you have never once mentioned wanting an instagram, or any social media really, until now. what is going on?"

"nothing major," toto wolff exhales, rolling his eyes, "you all have it, so why can't i?"

"because you're ancient?" lewis hamilton scoffs, arching a brow, "you're probably going to need a step-by-step tutorial on how to navigate the platform."

"i think i can figure that one out myself you know," toto hisses, jaw clenching as his drivers stare blankly, "if five year-olds can do it, i can do it."

"let me see your phone," george russell extends an arm, waving his fingers, "i'll get your account set up."

"i-i," the team principal stammers, heat billowing into his cheeks, "i-i don't know if i necessarily need help with that."

"are you blushing?" lewis purses his lips, a devious smirk forming as the dots connect, "mate, do you have something in there that you don't want us to see?"

only approximately one hundred and two screenshots of a certain williams driver. three or four videos. all of which were screen recordings from various interviews.

his cherished clips. ones he watched every night before he drifted off.

all of which were not tucked away into the hidden folder of his camera roll.

speaking of which, he may have to figure out how to do that. with three kids, an ex-wife, and two nosy drivers, his phone was an easy target. he probably needed to set up a passcode as well.

the lengths he was going to over a crush. a fucking crush.

well, was it a really a crush?

or more like an infatuation?

that was a question for another time. he had two drivers in his office at the moment, circling around him like vultures, eager to pick him apart.

"nothing of your interest," toto retorts, in a vain attempt to maintain his composure, "nothing, really."

"got someone's nudes in there?" lewis coos, tilting his head, "or even worse, a sex tape?"

"lewis," george brings a hand to his temple, "what on earth is wrong with you?"

"what, mate?" lewis throws his hands in the air, "i'm just giving him shit."

"shit he clearly does not want," george mutters, "toto, if you need help setting up an account, just facetime me. don't try to text me. it's much easier to explain over a call than written directions."

"or he can just go on wikihow," lewis offers, "they have guides on just about everything."

oh, really?

did they have a guide on how to navigate the unbearable weight of yearning for a woman thirty years your junior? a woman on a rival team? a crush so bad that it was beginning to snake its way into every aspect of your life? consume your every waking thought?

a crush so intense that you had already spoken to members of the williams crew?

his next target was james, whom he was planning on meeting and speaking with after the next press conference. that was in about a week's time, at third grand prix of the season.

fuck, this was embarrassing, really.

but he wanted more.

actually, he needed more.

he craved it.

he needed to gather all of the possible information and intel as he could. her likes and dislikes. her favorite foods and the ones that were so vile they made her throw up. what kept her up at night. what music she preferred to listen to on race day. what drinks she indulged in. what animals she loved. what made her so unbelievably pissed off she couldn't think straight.

he wanted to catch a glimpse inside of her mind.

all of the things that could possibly buzz around inside of that beautiful head.

really, he just wanted to learn what she was composed of.

her childhood memories, the ones she spoke of with that sweet fondness in her voice. the delicate aspects of her life that she cherished, beaming from ear to ear. the things she feared. how she expressed her love. the people she adored.

everything.

he wanted to know it all.

and following her instagram account, along with her various other socials would prove to be the first step in accessing that plethora of information.

at least it was a step in the right direction.

even if his drivers were giving him hell for it.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ taglist ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

@noooway555 @s-awturn @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @lokideservesahug @fore45fore @eattothebeatt @statuewoman @sarah10r-blog @lavenderandlace @racecardilfs @bblouifford @irishmanwhore @jhobi18 @roseandtulips @simply-the-best23

[jakeshands]

WIKIHOW: to unlove heeseung lee

pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader

synopsis: how to unlove heeseung lee. a comprehensive guide written by lily morrow. step #1: tell him, to his face, you don’t love him. step #2 — there’s no step number two. lily got distracted. now its up to you. how does one fall out of love? a story told in two acts

genre: crack, comedy, romantic comedy, fluff, lots of silliness, slight teacher au/new girl au if u squint, lowkey unreliable narrator

featuring: enhypen, lily of nmixx, yunjin of lsfm, jeongin of skz, beomgyu of txt, ningning of aespa, wonyoung of ive

warnings: lots of kys jokes/humor like a lot😭, loads of profanity, loads of sex jokes/mentions of sex, a joke about christian guilt and cathliocism, lmk if i missed any

word count: 12.6k

author’s note: look. i just started writing. sorry. incredibly unedited and dont take this seriously PLEASE😭😭😭😭

Act I: I loved you from the start.

[SCENE: ENGAGEMENT PARTY, 6 PM]

A gentle pink cascades across the sky. You exit the restaurant, the excitement of the engagement party seeping out of you as soon as the door shuts. One of your college friends, Chaeyoung, is finally engaged to her high school sweetheart. You remember receiving the news from Chaeyoung over the phone. She sounded ecstatic, and so were you. 

A gentle breeze blows through the air and it pushes your hair back softly. You swing your black handbag and hum the rhythm of a song you can’t quite remember under your breath. You pass by a convenience store and you double back deciding to enter the store.��

Greeting the worker, you rummage through the selves and find snacks for yourself and your roommates. Home run balls, corn chips, and tiramisu. You pick out a bag of tiny animal-shaped cookies for yourself. After buying the four items, you exit the store and continue your journey back home.

With a heavy exhale, you unlock the door to your apartment and with one hand gripping the doorknob, you begin to undo the straps of your heels, hobbling into the apartment. Loud sounds of sobbing and sniffling fill the apartment, and after finally sliding off your heels, you glance up at the scene in front of you. 

Sitting on the sofa and watching the end of the Titanic were your roommates. A pile of tissues sat in the center of the coffee table, and bowls of discarded ramen lay on the floor. Jay was sobbing loudly into the bright pink pillow you picked out when you first moved in, Sunghoon was blowing his nose over and over, and Jake was hugging his dog, Layla, whom he somehow managed to sneak into the apartment when he first moved in. 

“Y/N!” Cries Jay, noticing you. “You’re back!” 

Sunghoon blows his nose. 

You hold up a small plastic bag. “I come bearing snacks.” 

Jay sobs harder. “You’re the best girl friend we’ve ever had.” 

You smile. “I better be.” You had out the snacks you bought for each boy; home run balls for Jake, tiramisu for Sunghoon, and corn chips for Jay. “Also, didn’t we ban Titanic from our apartment? Last time we watched it, you three didn’t speak to each other for a week.” 

“We did,” Sunghoon agrees easily. 

“...So why are you watching it?”

“Ask Jake,” Sunghoon points at the boy still sobbing into Layla’s fur. 

“I’m fine….he’s obviously going through something.” 

“Rosie!” Jake wails loudly.

“That’s not even her name, Jake,” Jay scowls. 

Jake responds with another loud sob. Rolling your eyes, you open up the bag of your animal-shaped cookies and walk through the living room to reach the kitchen. You throw your handbag on the counter, and then shriek loudly when you catch sight of another body in the kitchen. 

“Y/N?” Jay calls out, his voice not as shaky as it was before. “Is everything okay?”

You poke your head back into the living room and scowl at the three boys, and one girl  -- Jake insists everyone references Layla as a ‘girl’ and not a ‘dog.’ As you can tell, Layla is the only girl in his life aside from you and Lily Morrow -- sitting on the couch. “Why is he in our kitchen eating our food?” 

“The couple he was rooting for on Love Island got voted off, or something like that, and he needed some Boy Time,” Sunghoon answers.

“And he came here? Instead of slipping into Jeongin’s room and getting stoned?”

“He needed an emotional connection,” Jay says after wiping his snotty nose with your pink cushion. 

“Jeongin is a very emotional guy,” you refute. “He is very in touch with his feelings, unlike the three boys I live with. And the one in the kitchen. I would like one of you to tell him he needs to leave.” 

“Why can’t you?!” Jake wails again. “We’re all emotionally devastated at the moment!” 

Sunghoon and Jay nod, agreeing with Jake’s words. You scowl. “Last time I talked to him I got a rash and a head cold. I can’t get sick.” 

“You work with kids who refuse to cough into their elbows. Of course you were going to get sick,” Jay rolls his eyes. “Just talk to him.” 

“No!” You whine petulantly, resting against the doorframe. “Please. Don’t make me talk to him.” 

“I have a name, you know,” a gentle voice says from behind you, and you shriek, stumbling away from the doorframe and into the back of the couch. The gentle voice laughs loudly, and standing in the doorway to the kitchen, in all his glory, is Heeseung Lee. His silver hair somewhat shines beneath the orange-toned lighting, and his mouth curves up into that stupid heart smile of his. 

“Monster!” You shriek, pointing at Heeseung, who is eating a donut from the box you brought home earlier today. “There’s a monster in my apartment! Jay, quick, get him out!” You punch the apartment’s self-proclaimed black cat in the arm, to which he hisses. No surprises there. He spends too much time around….do you dare say it……Jungwon. 

Heeseung rolls his eyes. “You’re so dramatic, Y/N.” 

“And you need to leave.” 

“And if I don’t?”

“Then you need to buy me another box of those donuts you’re eating.” 

Heeseung looks down at the box he is holding and then looks back at you. He shrugs. “How much was it?”

“Seventeen dollars.” 

Heeseung raises his eyebrows. “You bought a box of donuts for seventeen dollars? Twelve donuts for seventeen dollars?” 

“What’s wrong with that?” You frown. 

Heeseung sighs and finishes the last of the chocolate donut he’s eating before rubbing his now free hand against his forehead. “You give me migraines.” 

“Good,” you respond. “Now get out.” 

Heeseung pouts, “do you not care about me?”

You shake your head. “No, not really.” 

“We’ve spent our whole lives together, and this is how you repay me?”

“Get out or so god help me,” you scowl. “I will choke you out again.” 

“Again?” Sunghoon asks in surprise. 

“Yeah, Y/N choked Heeseung back in middle school,” Jay says as he scrolls through the illegal movie website for another movie to watch. “Ooo, Shape Of Water sounds cool!” 

“A mute girl falls in love with a fish, Jay,” Jake responds. “I didn’t know you were into bestiality.” He then holds Layla closer to him.

“Who’s Chaeyoung engaged to?” Heeseung asks you, picking up another donut with pink icing and white sprinkles. “I got an invite from her, but it clashed with Love Island.” 

“You are not changing the subject on me,” you snap. “And you can find out tomorrow. At school. Now get out of my apartment and stop eating my donuts. Why couldn’t you have gotten stoned with Jeongin? Or played guitar with Beomgyu or -- or visited Jungwon.” You shudder at the thought of the younger boy. 

Heeseung laughs. “You still find Jungwon scary?”

“For many reasons!” You defend. “He thinks he’s a cat, he bit me once, and he threatened to hunt me down and kill me if I ever managed to hurt Jay.” 

“Is that why we never hang out one-on-one?” Jay asks you, now looking up the emoji movie on the illegal website. 

“Yes.”

“Sounds like a you problem,” Sunghoon pipes up, helpful as ever. 

“Yeah,” Heeseung agrees with Sunghoon’s words. “It’s a skill issue. Maybe you need to level up --”

You whack Heeseung with the bright orange pillow Sunghoon picked out when you first moved into the apartment together. “I still don’t understand why all those girls fawn over you. Even now! You’re a fucking middle-school teacher yet girls still stick to your sides like leeches. What do they even see in you?! Do they know you used to pick your nose and wipe it on the nearest body to you, which always happened to be me? Do they know you scratched your balls and then ate all my McDonald’s Chicken Nuggets once?” 

“What does me scratching my balls and eating your chicken nuggets have to do with anything?”

“You didn’t even bother to wash your hands after getting a good scratch!” You exclaim loudly, whacking Heeseung with the pillow again. “Stop eating my fucking donuts!” 

Layla barks loudly and leaps off the couch, running for the bathroom. “She needs to pee,” Jake announces, standing up, “I should go help her. You know, potty training and all that.” 

You groan and hold your head in your hands. “Why did I decide to move in with Incel #1 Incel #2 and Incel #3?” 

“Hey! I am not an incel!” Sunghoon exclaims. “I get laid!” 

“Sure you do,” you respond, not believing a word Sunghoon just said. “Explain to me why Wonyoung said you chickened out last time things got steamy between you two?” 

“Incel means involuntarily celibate. Me choosing to not be intimate with Wonyoung doesn’t count as involuntary because it was a conscious decision.” 

“Umm actually…” Jay mimics in a high-pitched tone and pokes his index finger in the air. “You’ve been dating for like five years dude, there’s no time like the present.”

“Fine,” Sunghoon snaps. “I’ll go over there right now and do the dirty.” Sunghoon snatches up his phone from the coffee table and immediately calls Wonyoung as he walks over to his bedroom. “Wony, hey,” his voice suddenly adopts that adoring tone he uses whenever Wonyoung is around.

“Finally,” Jay mutters, “I’ve had to listen to him complain about his performance fears for years. The world doesn’t understand how hard it is for men -- oh my god I sound like Jake.” 

“....I’m gonna head out now. While I wish I could stay and watch whatever is currently happening, Yunjin just sent me an SNS text.” Heeseung says. 

You turn around to find that, somehow, Heeseung has eaten all twelve of your donuts, and at this point, you don’t even care. You’re too exhausted and confused and just concerned for the three boys you live with to even whine over Heeseung eating the only edible thing in this apartment. “SNS? What does that mean?”

“Sister Needs Sister.” 

“What?”

“SNS means Sister Needs Sister.”

“Sister Needs -- okay whatever I’m not gonna question whatever weird thing you have going on with Yunjin. Just get the fuck out of my apartment.” 

“Yes Ma’am,” Heeseung tips his imaginary cowboy hat at you and finally exits the apartment. Your shoulders slump and you throw yourself over the back of the couch, landing awkwardly on your neck as Jay cackles loudly at something on his phone. 

“I don’t want to go to school tomorrow,” you whine. “I haven’t even finished typing up Friday’s lesson.” 

Jay ignores you, still cackling at something on his phone. Jake shrieks his dog’s name loudly in the bathroom and something falls over in Sunghoon’s room.

++

It’s 6:30 AM when you enter your classroom. You have an hour until students begin to fill the school and while you always tell yourself that today will be the day you actually wake up early enough to get to school at 6:00 AM, it never happens and you’re left with an hour to get everything prepared for the lessons ahead.

Grumbling to yourself about having to let Layla into the bathroom to take a piss -- and then watch the dog miss the toilet bowl completely -- you ignore the box of donuts sitting on your desk. It’s only when you finish recalling how you had to literally drag Jake out of bed to clean up Layla’s mess do you realize there’s a box of twelve donuts on your desk. 

Frowning, you put down your coffee cup and examine the box. It’s from the same bakery your previous donuts were from. A small card sits on top of the box and you open it. 

Sorry

- Heeseung (:

Groaning, you chuck the small apology card aside and open up the box. Instantly, the aroma of freshly baked donuts fills the classroom and your mouth begins to water. You wonder how Heeseung was able to get the donuts freshly baked. The bakery doesn’t even open until seven. 

Pushing that thought aside, you grab a donut and get settled in your chair, beginning to finish the lesson prep you failed to complete last night. 

Thirty minutes quickly pass by. The only distraction you had was your phone buzzing. Sunghoon needed to pee and when he stepped into the bathroom, he found Jake lying, face down, fast asleep. Right next to Layla’s puddle of pee. Sunghoon, being the good friend he is, snapped a photo of Jake and sent it to the group chat before heading back to bed. He didn’t even bother to move Jake back to bed. 

“Enjoying the donuts?”

A voice draws you away from your laptop. Your rapid-fire typing stops and you glance over your shoulder, finding Heeseung standing at the entrance of your classroom. You gift Heeseung a small smile and lean back in your chair. “Thank you for the donuts, Heeseung.” 

“Do you accept my apology?” Heeseung asks as he walks over to your desk. 

“Of course,” you beam. “You know the way to my heart, Heeseung. Want one?” You offer the box to Heeseung but he waves you off. “By the way, how did you get these donuts freshly baked? The bakery doesn’t open until seven.” 

Heeseung winks. “A magician never reveals his secrets.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“Chaeyoung and Seungmin, huh? Who even is Seungmin? I don’t remember Chaeyoung ever dating a Seungmin?” Heeseung drums his fingers on your desk. 

You snort. “Seriously? You don’t remember Seungmin? He was in the year above you. Also in choir with you. Do you seriously not remember him? He thought he was a dog for the longest time so he often barked at people in the hallways.” 

Heeseung’s face lights up. “Oh! Him! I threw his lunch in the toilet one time. Fond memories.” 

“Why would you do that?!” 

Heeseung shrugs. “I was fourteen. We do weird things at fourteen.”

“Bullying is not a weird thing.”

“It was some kind of choir initiation,” Heeseung answers. “I don’t remember it. It’s been like. A decade.” 

“You’re getting old,” you muse, teasing Heeseung. 

“I could say the same about you,” Heeseung mutters, picking up a pen from your pen jar and chucking it at you. It hits your arm and clatters to the floor, loud in the empty classroom. 

“Once a bully, always a bully,” you retort. 

“Whatever.” 

“Don’t you have something better to do?” You ask Heeseung, “like, I don’t know, picking out what songs you’re going to sing in class today?”

“Unlike you, I have respectful friends who know not to bother me when I plan my lessons, so I already have picked out the three songs I plan on teaching the kids today.” 

“Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon are your friends too? I don’t see how that is an insult.” 

“To be fair, I was only able to complete my lesson plan for this week because Jeongin and Beomgyu were following some Zen Yoga YouTube video they found,” Heeseung admits, grimacing slightly. “Seeing both of them in yoga pants…..Never again.” 

“Did you finally realize you have a flat ass compared to theirs?”

Heeseung scowls and deliberately knocks over your mug of pens. “Don’t ever say I have a flat ass again. Jake’s the one with a flat ass.”

“He is not!” You defend your best friend with everything you have while cleaning up the mess Heeseung made. “You come into my classroom, make a mess, and insult my friend? You’re so lucky I don’t have super strength.” 

“You’re lucky I don’t have super super strength.” 

“Really?” You deadpan, glaring at Heeseung. “How childish. One of my students could come up with a better retort than that.” 

Heeseung rolls his eyes and grabs a donut from the box. Usually, you would whine and try to make him put it back, but today you let it slide since Heeseung was the one who bought the donuts for you. You turn back to your laptop to continue finishing up the last slide for today’s lesson as Heeseung chews on the chocolate-covered donut and flicks through the worksheets you printed out. 

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” You mumble. 

“No,” Heeseung responds, finishing off the last of the donut. “Mmm, those donuts are good.” He tries to help himself to another, but you slap his hand away. A scandalized gasp rings out through the room and Heeseung stares at you like you just called his mom a whore. 

“Get out of my classroom, Heeseung. I can only tolerate you for so long.” 

“Rude. I’ll remember this, Y/N,” Heeseung warns, backing out of your classroom as he wiggles his forefinger. “Heeseung Lee never forgets.” 

You snarl in response. 

++

Jake kicks the soccer ball back and forth with Riki. You sit on a bench nearby with Jay and Sunghoon, licking the triple stack of mint chocolate ice cream you coerced Sunghoon into buying for you. It took a lot of effort -- Sunghoon violently puked in the gutter the moment you asked, apparently his allergy to mint chocolate is very real -- but after unwillingly pulling out the cute poses you tucked away after you graduated high school, Sunghoon gave in. Much to Jay’s delight. 

Next to you, Sunghoon’s stomach rumbles loudly. “I’m gonna puke,” Sunghoon mumbles, ditching the remainder of his Tiramisu ice cream on the ground and running for the nearest bushing, retching loudly. Jake kicks the soccer ball at a dog. 

Jay cackles loudly at the misfortune of both his friends -- Sunghoon having an allergic reaction to mint chocolate, and Jake practically crying on his knees as he apologizes to the dog and the dog’s owner over and over. Riki just stands to the side recording Jake. “God, I love going to the park. Don’t you?”

You stare at Jay. “Are you a masochist? Do you feel joy in seeing other people’s misfortunes?” 

Jay tsks, shaking his head. “I’m a sadist, not a masochist. There’s a difference.”

“Well, school me on the difference, Jay.” 

“Masochist; I enjoy hurting or humiliating myself. Sadist; I enjoy hurting or humiliating other people.” 

“I’ll be sure to remember that,” you vow. 

Jay finishes off his cone and rubs his stomach. “Jay’s finished! Jay’s no longer hungry! Jay thinks we should head home now.” 

Sunghoon’s still retching. Jake’s still crying. Riki is now trying to muffle his laughter. You’re halfway through your triple scoop of mint chocolate. And Jay simply does not give a fuck. 

“Oh. Hey guys!” To make matters worse, Heeseung appears, dressed in jogging gear, and next to him is Jungwon. Oh God. Immediately, you start stuffing your face with the ice cream, trying to finish it all so you can high tail it out of this park. Jungwon Yang terrifies the shit out of you. Not only is he a professional Taekwondo athlete, but he’s also part cat. You vividly remember the time Jungwon attacked you -- hissing and claws out. You wake up screaming to that particular memory most nights. 

“Heeseung! What’s up bro?” Jay dabs up Heeseung. 

You give Heeseung a once over. He’s wearing leggings underneath his black shorts, a bright yellow tank top, and a red headband wrapped around his head, pushing back his hair. On his feet are -- god you have to blink a couple of times. Bright pink shoes. Bright pink shoes. They must be Jeongin’s. 

“Nothing much. Just out running with Jungwonie. He was feeling a bit energetic this evening.” 

You side eye Jungwon who has begun to do some stretches -- well, to you it looks like he’s getting ready to spring another attack on you. 

“Y/N,” Heeseung addresses you. “Finish eating all the doughnuts I gave you?”

(Heeseung bought you another box of doughnuts today. He must be feeling pretty sorry for eating your seventeen dollar box of doughnuts last week. It makes your heart burn. And in a good way — at least you think. Maybe you have heart burn?)

You smile politely, very aware of the ice cream all over your face and the brewing brain freeze. “Of course. I have to say, they were super lovely, Heeseung. I appreciated your kind gesture. Very kind. Super good and kind. I loved it. Lots! Hahahahahahaha --”

“You okay?” Heeseung interrupts, furrowing his brows. He reaches over and presses his palm against your forehead. You jolt away instantly, scowling. 

“I’m not sick!” 

“You’re acting weird.”

You side eye Jungwon again. This time he’s on his phone. He’s probably calling for back up. Most likely Sunoo. Oh God, you’re about to get attacked, and then kidnapped. This is not good. You need to get out of here. 

“Weird?? Hahaha why would I be acting weird….” You choke down the rest of your ice cream with more force this time. Heeseung and Jay watch on in befuddlement. 

“Slow down girl,” Jay says. “That ice cream isn’t going anywhere.” 

“Maybe she’s just practicing,” Jake says. It seems he’s gotten over the trauma of hitting a dog with his soccer ball. “For, you know…..” 

If you weren’t trying to force mint chocolate ice cream down your throat, you would’ve jumped Jake. 

“Hey, woah,” Heeseung grabs your wrist and halts you from eating. “Let’s clean you up a bit.” He pulls a box of wet wipes out of thin air and begins to wipe your face gently with them, discarding them in the nearby bin. 

For some reason, your heart begins to palpitate as you watch Heeseung, who has a soft look on his face, clean your face. One hand gently holds your chin, while the other wipes away the ice cream you had smeared all over your face. Heeseung may be a freak and get on your nerves constantly and make you consider murder, but there are times like these; times where he is so kind and gentle towards you, and it makes you rethink your entire life --

Right. Your life. 

So, you were born on a frosty December morning. You came out screaming so loud, a couple of nurses had to leave the room and you roused your passed out father. In the room next to you, Jay was born a couple of seconds later, which led to you and Jay growing up together. Side by side. Hand in hand. The sharing-the-sandbox-and-pushing-each-other-off-the-monkey-bars growing up. 

All your life you’ve been stuck to Jay’s side. And you hated it. 

Elementary school started and you made new friends. Who then became Jay’s friends as well. You pushed Jay off the monkey bars every break time because he had invaded your big squad of girls, and you would get put in time out for ten minutes because of it every time. Jay would buy you a popsicle after school as an apology for worming his way into your girl group. 

(Though, Jake should be mentioned here; he was an honorary member of your girl club because he was pretty good at braiding hair. This is when you, Jake, and Jay became a tight knit group of friends, much to your displeasure. Did everything in your life have to revolve around Jay?)

Middle school came and with a renewed vigor, you made new friends. And so did Jay. And it turned out his friends were also your friends. Because, somehow, you befriended Yizhuo, and Lily, and so did Jay. But there was one person you and Jay did not share in common; Heeseung Lee.

Heeseung was in the grade above you. He was kind, smart, and very attractive. You had both gone to the same elementary school and he instantly took Jay under his wing, but you made sure to stay far away. Boys who weren’t Jay and Jake had cooties. You didn’t really talk to Heeseung until middle school when Jay thought it would be best to add Heeseung to your friend group. 

Instantly, Heeseung ticked you off and thus, began your long winded friendship of fighting and bickering every chance you got. It was just so easy to piss Heeseung off, and it was clear Heeseung took amusement in annoying you. At first, everyone told you it was because Heeseung liked you and wanted your attention -- but then came your freshman year, Heeseung’s sophomore year. 

High school was a whole new environment, and a new friend was added to your friend group; Sunghoon. But more on that later. High school meant maturity, sex, and nostalgia for your childhood -- more on the sex part later. 

With confidence filling your veins, you asked Heeseung out on a date. He promptly rejected you. That night, with Yizhuo and Lily, you called upon some demons and made them swear to curse Heeseung for the rest of his damned life.

Apparently, those demons suck fucking ass. 

While you spent most of your time bickering with the boys around you, there were the times when they were gentle with you -- Heeseung especially. Somewhere, buried deep down, Heeseung actually cares about you. You’ve seen the way he looks at you. You’ve seen the way he handles you when you’re crying or emotional in any way and you can’t help but let your heart flutter, even after swearing to move on from Heeseung ever since he rejected you. 

You don’t like admitting this but. Well. You’ve been in love with Heeseung since you were twelve. 

God. How pathetic. 

So -- there Heeseung was, gently wiping your face. “Messy girl,” Heeseung scolds gently. “Seriously. When did you become like Riki?” With a last swipe over your lips, Heeseung backs away. “There. Now, you look easy on the eyes.” 

Knuckles crack. You glance over at Jungwon. He’s cracking the bones in his neck. Oh God. You thrust the remainder of your ice cream at Jay and book it out of the park. You weren’t planning on staying any longer. ‘Local girl kidnapped by self-proclaimed Cat Boy’ is not a headline you want to be featured in. 

Sayonara bitches!

+

jake’s intervention: stop kissing everything

you: mom is making me come home for christmas

you: decided tn is my last night alive

you: anyone wanna watch me jump??????

jay smells: Can’t watch! I’m Jungwon-sitting

gaymansaywhat: Gay

gaymansaywhat: Woah who said that?????????????????

you: im so happy you came out of the closet sunghoon 😭😭😭😭

gaymansaywhat: Not funny. Didn’t laugh.

gaymansaywhat: I literally have a girlfriend. 

you: Ok…….moving on.

jake (DNR): what time are u planning to jump?

you: in ten minutes

jake (DNR): i’ll be there!

jake (DNR): physics is making me rethink my smoking sobriety oath

jay smells: girl. 

jay smells: BTW i’m also going back for christmas, and the invitation is extended to everyone!

nishimura: I’LL BE THERE

you: at my suicide or at christmas?

nishimura: wat do u think freak.

you: kys. food over free entertainment? i see what kind of boy you are, riki nishimura

heeseung: i think i’m a part of the family emailing list

heeseung: i even got assigned to bring a plate of dessert

jay smells: of course you did.

jay smells: i got assigned to bring meat and they’ll probably expect it to be like slow cooked lamb or something

Jungwon Yang: I’ll be there.

Jungwon Yang: At Christmas. Not suicide. 

Jungwon Yang: 👋

you: how can someone be horrifying over text?

barbienoo: i’ll def be there at christmas (:

barbienoo: can’t make the suicide, sry

you: i’m calling it off

you: it’s so pathetic how i only have jake as my audience

you: if anything that’s only making me MORE suicidal

heeseung: need some company, y/n?

heeseung: jeongin and beomgyu dumped me

you: poor baby heeseung

you: be a man about it and kill yourself.

gaymansaywhat: Anyone else feeling like a third wheel rn?

++

For once, the school day passes by relatively boring. No children crying, no friendship drama, and no boys tugging on ponytails. Humming to yourself, you tidy up your classroom while thinking of what to have for dinner tonight. Jake and Sunghoon were out bar hopping with Felix -- which basically meant they’ll be touring all the gay bars in the city. 

“Hey.”

Glancing up, you see Heeseung resting in the doorway of your classroom, his brown satchel Jay gifted him for his eighteenth birthday hanging off his shoulder. He was wearing a blue plaid button-up, black trousers, and those fancy leather brown shoes Jay buys by the hundreds. Seriously. Half of Jay’s room is full of shoe boxes. 

“Hey,” you respond, dumping the handful of trash you were holding into the nearby rubbish bin. 

“Hungry?” 

“I could eat three horses.”

Heeseung grins. “Perfect. I have a reservation at that new Italian restaurant in ten minutes. Meet you there?”

You narrow your eyes. “Is this a date?”

“Do you want it to be a date?”

“Well, you are fresh out of a break up. I know you, Beomgyu, and Jeongin were involved for a while --”

“--I hope you know we were joking about that polyamory shit --”

“-- It wasn’t a joke. It’s okay. We love the gay community in this classroom --”

“--Don’t tell me that you’re in love with me, Y/N --”

The conversation full of interruptions dies there. Can Heeseung tell? Just by the way you’re standing? Or the way you’re talking? That you’re in love with him? Shit. You need to do something to throw off suspicion. You can’t have Heeseung thinking you’re in love with him. That’ll lead to your demise. 

(“Okay, here’s my ‘How-to-stop-loving-Heeseung-Lee’ guide,” Lily Morrow announces, sitting on her bright pink couch in her bright yellow apartment. Yizhuo was sitting next to Lily, squinting at the Colleen Hoover book she was reading -- unfortunately, Yizhuo had fallen victim to Booktok’s Colleen Hoover propaganda. She’ll have to learn the hard way.

Wonyoung was also here. She was eating hot cheetos and daintily dusting off her fingers with a cute handkerchief your pretty sure you helped Sunghoon buy.

It was Girl’s Night. Well. An attempt at Girls night because only four of you were here. Minjeong had other business to attend to  -- Beomgyu and Jeongin apparently took higher priority over Girls Night. Chaewon actually had work. Like. Real life work. A full time corporate job kind of work, which was unfortunate, and Yunjin was attending to an SNS text Heeseung had sent her. Speak of the devil.

Fiddling with the ends of the throw pillow Lily’s roommate, Jinsoul, bought, you lean towards Lily with eager ears. “Tell me, Mrs. Morrow. Tell me how to stop my twelve-year pining.” 

Lily clears her throat. “First step is admitting, to Heeseung’s face, that you do not love him. Admittance in the face of adversity is always a good start.” 

You nod, eyes gleaming. “Okay. Admit I do not love Heeseung to his face. Good start. What’s the next step?”

Lily makes a face. It looks like she just got a toothache. “Um. That’s all I have.” 

There’s a long pause. 

Yizhuo gasps. “What a shit book!” And then she throws it across the room, narrowly missing the cat-shaped lamp Lily’s roommate -- Jinsoul, once again -- bought. “What are you two talking about?”

“What the fuck, Lily? Why did you call a Girl’s Night then? We were supposed to figure out how to stop my pining!” You cry, shoving your face against the ugly throw pillow. 

“I was….interrupted.”

“What was more important than coming up with a comprehensive guide to getting over Heeseung Lee?”

“Um. Jake called me. Said he had lady problems.” 

“He -- what? Jake has lady problems? He’s -- he can’t even get his dick up?!” 

Yizhuo snorts. “He can’t get his dick up?”

“He asked me if female dogs also go through puberty because Layla wasn’t listening to him.” 

“I’m gonna kill that fucking dog.” You swear.)

You laugh. “In love with you? That’s the funniest thing you’ve ever said, Heeseung Lee. I am not in love with you!” Phew. Good save. 

“Hmm, okay!” Heeseung shrugs. “Let’s go eat.” 

It’s a short drive over to the new Italian restaurant. You and Heeseung park next to each other and enter the restaurant in silence. It’s packed and conversation is spilling out into the night. Everything about this restaurant speaks romance, and it’s hard to not notice all the dates happening around you as you’re seated smack in the middle of the restaurant. 

Since you were driving, you decided to get some Fanta. 

“You still like Fanta?” Heeseung asks, wrinkling his nose. 

“Hater,” you scowl. “Fanta is good.”

“Sure. If you were raised in a dumpster and had to fight your way out.” 

You pick up the knife in front of you, watching it glint in the moody restaurant lighting. “Don’t test me, Heeseung. I was a waitress in high school.” 

“Is that supposed to scare me? Are you going to “are you ready to order” me to death?” 

“Watch that mouth, Heeseung Lee.” 

Heeseung grins and focuses back on the menu in front of him. “You do know Jeongin and Beomgyu and I weren’t actually dating?”

You smile, rolling your eyes. “Of course I know. But to anyone else? Well.”  The spaghetti bolognese sounds good, but their ravioli sounds even better -- oh wow their gnocchi. This is going to be a tough decision to make. Glancing up at Heeseung, you can’t remember the last time you two ever hung out like this. In fact, you can’t ever remember the last time the two of you were this polite with each other. 

“So, why’d you ask me to join you tonight? Do you still feel bad for eating all my doughnuts?” You set the menu down, deciding on the ravioli. 

“Nah,” Heeseung shakes his head. “Jeongin, Beomgyu, Yunjin, Minjeong, and I had this slideshow night a couple of nights back. Jeongin’s slideshow was a lecture on how we should all be mature by now -- I mean, no twenty-five-year-old should still be arguing like a twelve-year-old with their friend.” Heeseung glances up at you, an oddly warm look in his eyes. “It kinda got me thinking.” 

“Oh,” you fail to come up with a response. 

Your waiter comes back and you order your food. 

“I guess it’s time we mature,” you agree with Heeseung. You feel as though your world has been turned upside down. Being mature with Heeseung? That sounds immature. “Does this mean we have to say good morning and good evening to each other, and ask how each other is doing whenever we see each other?”

Heeseung snorts, siping his orange juice. (He’s one to talk about ordering Fanta. Only freaky losers order orange juice. Orange juice drinkers are the worst types of humans. Trust.) “Not that adult-like mature, Y/N. It’s like we didn’t grow up together.” 

“Well, if you wanna get technical --”

“Jay talked about you all the time in elementary school. I felt like I knew you before I actually knew you. I also thought you and Jay would get married, but apparently Jay has a type for women and men who don’t want him. Case and point; Yuna and Jungwon.” 

You giggle, thinking back to Jay’s whirlwind romance with Yuna -- that was all in his head. Jungwon…well that’s a work in progress according to Jay. You’re pretty sure Jungwon has a thing with Rei, which is probably why Riki is a bit antagonistic towards him because Riki has a thing for Rei. 

“Jake told me he was out with Felix tonight.”

You nod your head. “Jake and Sunghoon are going bar hopping with him. I wonder how long it’ll take for them to realize they’re actually going to every gay bar in the city.” 

“It’ll take a while for Sunghoon to figure out. He’s used to getting hit on by everyone and everything.” 

You raise your glass of Fanta. “Let’s cheers to that.” 

Your food arrives. It was just as yummy as you imagined, and the night floats away as you and Heeseung talk about everything under the sun. It felt weird, but nice, not arguing with Heeseung over stupid petty things like siblings would. You think you could get used to this. 

You order a brownie for dessert, and of course after saying he was too full for dessert, the gooey chocolate brownie is too tempting for Heeseung. 

“No!” You exclaim, whacking Heeseung’s hand away. “You do not get to eat this brownie. I’m paying for it, so I’m eating it. Don’t even think about touching it. I don't want your ugly music teacher hands getting all over it.” 

“You hate me,” scowls Heeseung. “And what did music teachers ever do to you?”

“Exist,” you snarl. 

Heeseung eyes you, and then breaks out into a grin, leaning back in his chair and stretching. “Ahh, I know what this is. This is reverse psychology flirting.” 

You give Heeseung a look, and then reach out to touch his forehead. “Are you sick, Heeseung, what are you even saying?”

Heeseung bats your hand away and opens his mouth. “Ahhh?” 

“Ahh,” you mock back and shove the entire brownie into your mouth. 

“Why do you eat food like it’s going to disappear in .5 seconds. What happened to savoring the flavor?” 

“So. Since when were you on my family’s email list for Christmas dinner?” You address the elephant in the room -- well, the elephant in the room for you. You’re pretty sure Heeseung isn’t aware that that’s all you’ve been thinking about for the past 48 hours. 

Heeseung shrugs, finishing off the last of his eighth glass of orange juice. “It just happened. I think it’s also your mom trying to get me married into the family.” 

“Is this the part where I’m supposed to get down on one knee?”

“I wouldn’t get married to you.” 

“How else will you marry into the family? I’m an only child.”

“There’s always Jay.” 

“He’s my mother’s non-biological son.” 

“She still thinks of him as a son.” 

“Fine. Be gay. See if I care.” 

Heeseung has a smug grin on his face. “I think you do care, Y/N. You care greatly about the fact that I would choose Jay over you.” 

“Everyone chooses Jay over me. Even my own mother,” you grumble. 

++

“How’s the Heeseung project coming along?” Yizhuo asks as she’s painting your nails over the dining table. Jay was busy in the kitchen, airpods in, and cutting up some vegetables for the curry he was making. Jake was busy crying over some physics shit and taking breaks to stare at the pack of Malboros he bought yesterday, and Sunghoon was giggling like a teenage girl as he texts Wonyoung. 

Freak. 

“Well, I told him I didn’t love him to his face like Lily advised,” you say. 

Yizhuo nods her head.

“And that’s all I’ve done so far.” 

Yizhuo gives you a disappointed look. 

“Don’t look at me like that!” You whine. “It’s just. Hard. Okay? Super duper hard because everything about him attracts me. Even his fucking adam’s apple.” 

“Why are we talking about Adam's apple?” Jake asks, walking into the kitchen, tears streaming down his face and his fingers twitching. 

You both ignore Jake who then immediately breaks down as soon as he opens the refrigerator. Sometimes you regret moving in with Jake. He’s prone to breakdowns. 

“Keep this up and you’re gonna die alone. And a virgin.” Yizhuo hisses.

“Actually, I’m not a virgin. Remember?” 

“Why’d you have to remind me,” groans Yizhuo. 

So -- the sex thing. 

You + Jake + alcohol = Sex. 

End of story. 

Yunjin suddenly bursts into the kitchen, Sunghoon following close behind. She leans over, her hands resting on her knees and she gasps for breath. Everyone stops what they’re doing and stares at her. It takes a while for Yunjin to regain her composure -- it’s probably all the hotboxing she does with Beomgyu, Jeongin, and their pickle rick bong. 

“Heeseung -- Heeseung’s on a date.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is where Act Two begins.

++

Act II: A love that nobody could destroy

[SCENE: CHRISTMAS PARTY, 9 PM]

It’s Christmas. It’s the season of cheer. It’s the season of snow, snowmen, and eggnog. It’s the season of giving. It’s the season of kissing each other under the mistletoe and having hot Christmas sex while Jingle Bells plays.

You sit on the couch, eyes following Heeseung around the house like a hawk. So, Heeseung has been going out on dates with a girl named Ryujin. Interesting. You’ve never heard of the name Ryujin before, and your mother knows everyone in the godforsaken city. Next to you, Jeongin shifts uncomfortably.

“Remind me why we’re sitting together?”

“You’re a Heeseung magnet,” you tell him. 

“I am?” 

You look at Jeongin. “Yes.” And then you look back at Heeseung. 

Christmas; season of cheer and giving, but for you? It’s the season of green-eyed monsters named jealousy. You wonder, what does this Ryujin girl have that you don’t? What was so special about her that made Heeseung decide to go on dates with her instead of you? Was your hang out at that really nice Italian restaurant really that bad? You shiver at the thought. 

Jeongin, ever the Heeseung magnet, manages to attract Heeseung over to the couch you were both sitting on. Sitting up straighter, Heeseung takes a seat beside you, his knee brushing yours. You almost drop your eggnog. 

“Hey,” Heeseung greets, grabbing a pillow and holding it against his chest. “Pretty fun party, isn’t it? Your mom always throws the best parties, Y/N.” Heeseung beams at you. Teeth and all. You swoon a bit. 

“Yeah, well, she’s putting on her best since you’re here.” Is this flirting? Are you flirting? Beside you, Jeongin snorts into his cup of lemonade. 

Heeseung rolls his eyes. “So, how many cards did you get before Christmas break? I got about fifty. Lots of chocolate too.” 

“I’m not sharing that private information with you.” 

“Ahh, you only got three.” 

“Did not! My students love me!” You defend. 

“Hmm. Sure.” 

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Heeseung smiles like he knows the answer to every question ever. “Oh, you know. I’ve heard some things about you…..”

You practically pin Heeseung to the back of the couch, your eggnog thrust into Jeongin’s unwilling hand. “Tell. Me. Now.” You demand, through gritted teeth. “Or I will castrate you.” 

“Last time you threatened castration nothing happened.” 

“This time it will happen. I know a guy who knows a vet.” 

Heeseung raises an eyebrow. “Do tell, Y/N.” 

“First, you spill your secrets and I spill mine.” 

Unfortunately, Sunghoon interrupts your interrogation. “As much as we’re all enjoying the view,” Sunghoon says, sounding deeply amused, “your services are required, darling Y/N.” 

If you were Medusa, Sunghoon would be stone. “What.” Venom practically spits from your mouth. Who dared to interrupt your interrogation? Oh. Of course it was Jay and Jake. They stand in a shadowed corner, beckoning you over with not-so subtle hand gestures. 

Reluctantly, you let go of Heeseung, pat down your dress, and approach the two boys, Sunghoon hot on your heels. 

“How important is this?” You hiss. “I almost had Heeseung’s confession.” 

“Confession?!” Exclaims Jake. “He was gonna admit his love to you?”

Freeze frame -- a little backstory;

After Yunjin all but burst into your kitchen with that sudden proclamation of Heeseung on a date, Jay promptly asked you what you were going to do about that, which led to you freaking out and wondering how the hell Jay knew you were in love with Heeseung.

“I knew it from the moment I introduced you to him,” Jay said, sounding proud of himself. You, on the other hand, can’t help but feel suspicious. Since when was Jay so observant of you? In fact, when has Jay ever been that observant? Or had those kinds of feelings -- the psychic weirdo feelings? Jay’s a pretty straight forward facts kinda guy. Suspicion fills up your stomach, but you push it aside. 

“Yeah, Y/N. You should go confess to Heeseung. It’s getting tiring,” Jake had followed up with after Jay’s explanation. It seemed his tears had dried up. After another shouting match of you asking Jake how he knew, you found out Jake only found out last year because Jay had told him. Once again, you were suspicious because since when did Jay willingly tell Jake all the secrets he knew? If there was one thing Jay was good at, it was goading Jake. He loved to tease and annoy the shit out of Jake, and he loved holding things over the Australian’s head. 

Sunghoon’s reaction on the other hand, wasn’t surprising at all; “You love Heeseung?” An alien could be having sex with another alien in front of Sunghoon, and he wouldn’t even notice. 

So, you found out two of your roommates knew of your love for Heeseung, and Sunghoon had just found out, so immediately a plan was put into action. Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon took this seriously, deciding they were gonna play Spies. Overdramatic freaks.

That’s why Jake, Jay, Sunghoon, and you were conversing in a dark corner in the living room. Apparently, that’s something spies do. “We have intel on this Ryujin Shin,” Jake says, in a low tone, eyes scouring the room for any eavesdroppers. You have to stifle a laugh. 

“Pray tell, Agent Layla.” 

(Agent Layla = Jake

Agent Mariners = Jay

Agent Ice Prince = Sunghoon.)

(Pretty stupid names if anybody were to ask you.)

“She’s a lesbian.” 

Silence fills the dark living room corner. 

“And you’ve confirmed it?”

Jay whips out his phone and shows you photos of Ryujin Shin. HD 4K photos. 

“We literally caught her in 4K.”

“You stalked her?”

“Well --”

“You guys are taking this spy agent shit too seriously.” 

“We’re bored, Y/N!” Sunghoon whines. “Bored, horny adult men.” 

“You could’ve left the horny part out,” Jake mumbles. 

“Okay, So, she’s a lesbian,” you say, confirming it yourself as you swipe through photos of this Ryujin Shin girl kissing another girl. “Does Heeseung look like a girl?” 

Once again, silence falls over the dark living room corner. All four of you turned to look at Heeseung who was engaged in what seemed like a deep conversation with Jeongin. Lord knows what they were talking about. Probably the drama in Jeongin and Beomgyu’s pilates class. 

“No. He’s not.” Jay confirms.

“But if your tilt your head slightly….” Sunghoon says, with a tilted head. Jake whacks him and Sunghoon straightens up. “Nope. Heeseung is very much a guy. Jake can confirm because he’s seen his dick before -- right?”

Jake nods his head. “It was a pretty solid dick.” 

“So, Heeseung is a guy, Ryujin goes around kissing girls, why the hell would they go out on dates with each other?” You ask the question of the hour. 

No one says anything for a moment.

“Maybe it’s an experiment,” Jake pipes up. “Maybe Heeseung is trying to turn Ryujin to the dark side.” 

“Dark side?” You ask.

“Straight.” 

“The dark side is being straight?”

Jake nods his head. “We hate heteros here.” 

“Down with the heterosexuals!” Sunghoon exclaims. 

“Okay, I’m finished with this conversation. I’m walking away. And over to Heeseung.” You shake your head. You feel your brain cells exploding. 

“Wait! Y/N! What was the second step in Lily’s comprehensive guide to getting over Heeseung Lee?” Jay asks frantically. 

“There was no second step,” you say. “So I’m left to figure out the second step all by myself. I mean, I should probably go on a date with someone, right?” 

“I can set you up,” Sunghoon says.

“No.” You shoot him down immediately. 

++

Your date was a guy named Mark. You’re spending your date in front of a claw machine, watching Mark blow all his money on attempting to get this one monkey plushie you had pointed out. “It’s fine, Mark, really. I don’t need it.” But, like all men, he ignored you and shoved another one dollar note into the claw machine. Groaning, you turn around, not bothering to watch another failed attempt.

The arcade was alive with people at 8 PM. Huh, who knew. 

At first, Mark seemed like a cool dude. And then he howled at the moon fifteen seconds after you started up a conversation about Twilight with him. He told you he was team Jacob and that made you incredibly wary of him. Why would anyone be team Jacob? 

There were a million other games you would love to play -- like the motorbike one across from you. You totally ruled at motorbike arcade games. Or there was this zombie apocalypse game you passed by as Mark led you over to the basketball game -- and then you pointed out the monkey plushie and Mark forgot all about his bragging about how he’s the best basketballer since Lebron. 

Your mind trails to Heeseung. Typical. If it were Heeseung you were on a date with, you wouldn’t be standing here with a deep longing to play the motorbike game because you would be playing the motorbike game. Heeseung would be on the bike next to you making stupid remarks and you would be beside yourself in laughter. 

The thing is; you’re what someone would call ‘emotionally repressed.’ You hate thinking, talking and feeling your feelings. Especially when it comes to romantic attraction toward your long-time friend. Ever since Heeseung rejected you back in freshman year, you’ve become accustomed to pushing your feelings away and burying them in the deep dark depths of your mind. They rarely come out to play -- and when they do, you’re ready and waiting to whack them back into hiding. 

With a huff, you decide that this isn’t the date you want. You don’t want to be stuck to Mark Lee’s side for the night, so with tense shoulders you turn around to -- Mark Lee holding out the monkey plushie you pointed out, a broad grin on his face. “I’m a pro,” he says, fifty dollars poorer. “Now, it’s time for me to get my Lebron on,” and he leads you over to the basketball game. 

Okay. Maybe Mark wasn’t that bad. He just….has some flaws. Fatal flaws. (Like seriously. Who howls at the fucking moon??)

“Noooo wayyy!” Mark exclaims, pulling up to the arcade game and tapping the shoulder of a hooded shoulder. As soon as you see the face of the hooded figure, you melt into the ground, never to be seen again. Heeseung Lee. What the fuck was he doing here? This was not the second step to Lily Morrow’s comprehensive guide to getting over Heeseung Lee. He wasn’t supposed to intrude on your date!

“Yo, Mark!” Heeseung daps him up, and then he sees you. Disgustingly, his face lights up. It’s like, ever since the Doughnut Incident, he’s decided to call you a friend, which isn’t exactly a good thing but also; you’re sick of being stuck in the friendzone. Like, c’mon!!!!!!!!!!! It’s been ten years since he rejected you, surely some feelings have developed in those ten years. 

Well. There was the whole Jake Year. You don’t really want to delve into that -- too much uncharted territory and angst for you. 

“Y/N!” Heeseung exclaims, wrapping you in a hug. If only Jake, Jay, and Sunghoon were here to see this. Wonyoung would also probably be there, since Sunghoon was. Ever since Christmas, you never see Wonyoung or Sunghoon without each other. Jay reckons they’ve gotten engaged. Jake’s too busy crying over Layla biting him to care. 

“Hey,” you greet. 

“You sound enthusiastic.”

“You know me, always enthused to see you.” 

Ryujin Shin pops out of nowhere, because of course she does. 

“Let’s be honest,” you blurt out, and then immediately regret it when Ryujin gives you a weird look. You need to stop hanging around Riki. And Jeongin. Don’t even start on Jeongin Yang. 

Heeseung also gives you a weird look. “Let’s be honest, I need to poop,” you try to recover from that fuck up, but you think you only make it worse. “I think I’m about to blow, can we reschedule this date, Mark? I need to get to the nearest toilet before I explode.” You need to shut the fuck up. But you’re stressed and when you’re stressed, your mouth runs like a motor unable to stop. Jay says it’s your worst feature, Sunghoon says it’s your most defining feature. You told Sunghoon his most defining feature was the bruise he was about to get from your punch to the face. 

“Are you sick?” Heeseung asks. Because apparently you constantly get sick around him. 

“I’m fine.” (Why does your voice crack?) Suddenly, the arcade becomes overwhelming. You have to get out. So, with a hurried goodbye to Mark, you exit the arcade, gripping the monkey plushie tightly and trying to push the boiling pot of emotions further down -- but it doesn’t work, like it normally does, and your chest becomes tight. 

You make it halfway down the street before you start crying. Why are you crying? Why?? What brought this on? Maybe it’s the fact Heeseung’s dating other people -- lesbians, to be exact. Maybe it’s the fact you tried to move on. Maybe it’s the fact Heeseung is always there, wherever you go. 

Okay, so you know you haven’t gone into much detail about how much you truly love Heeseung, so here’s the truth; you love him. Really love him, that sometimes, it’s hard to breathe. You love Heeseung, that just the thought of him keeps you awake on random nights. When you were thirteen, you planned out your life with Heeseung in your diary. When you were fourteen, after Heeseung rejected you, you cried so hard you threw up and took three days off of school. When you were fifteen and trying to move on from Heeseung, you couldn’t. 

When you were seventeen, you played a game of seven minutes in heaven and you wished badly to get Heeseung. You thought that maybe, if he kissed you, he would take back his rejection from freshman year. Instead, the bottle landed on Jake and --

You’ve loved Heeseung for twelve years. 

Every time you think about the future, Heeseung is always there. Even now, when you’re trying to move on. Even now, when you were waiting for Mark to get the monkey plushie. Even now, as you’re crying, you’re wondering why it’s so hard to make Heeseung love you. 

Maybe the whole Doughnut Incident was just the catalyst for this; your ultimate demise. Maybe, that Doughnut Incident, and everything that occurred after, is just the universe giving you a sign it’s time to give up. You’ve wasted twelve years of your life. Give Up. 

“Y/N?” 

Heeseung’s here. Heeseung -- Heeseung followed you?

You glance up, and Heeseung frowns, coming to stand in front of you to brush away your tears.

Maybe you were too in your head -- too blinded by fighting down your emotions that you didn’t realize how Heeseung truly treated you. Sure, you both argued over menial things, and called each other names just for the hell of it, but this was the true friendship of you and Heeseung -- forged over late night talks, and sneaking into Jay’s massive kitchen to eat all his pop tarts and drink his Coke. 

Heeseung takes care of you. He was always there for you in high school when you spent hours in the school, and local library. He was there for you in college, when you were a pathetic mess and spent most of your freshman and sophomore years crying every day. And God. He was there for you during your Jake Years -- even when he shouldn’t’ve been. 

This whole time, you’ve been deluding yourself into believing Heeseung never cared, when it’s so obvious now. He’s cradling your face, with concerned eyes. “Y/N, what’s wrong?” His voice is soft. So so soft. You’re utterly beguiled. You’re overwhelmed. You’re in a daze.

You respond by kissing Heeseung. 

++

The Jake Years. 

1. When did Jake and Y/N first hook up

Freshman year of college

Senior year of high school

Junior year of high school

2. When did Jake and Y/N begin regularly hooking up?

Freshman year of college. October 31st.

Sophomore year of college. November 15th.

Senior year of high school, December 31st.

3. How long did this relationship last?

Five months

Two years

One year

One year, nine months

4. Why did Jake and Y/N begin hooking up?

Because Y/N needed to get over Heeseung

Because Jake had a crush on Y/N

5. What were the consequences for hooking up with each other?

The answer is too long to be multi choice

The friend group falling apart, Heeseung fading away, Jake and Y/N resenting each other for a year after the relationship ended, Heeseung dating a girl called Giselle. 

Y/N didn’t realize it at the time, but Heeseung loved her. He was in love with her. His heart was dedicated to her. He would’ve confessed, if it weren’t for him walking in on Jake and Y/N making out in a bathroom. Heeseung tried to keep his distance from Y/N, and Jake, but he loved her. So, he stayed and tried to repair his broken heart in the process.

Jake and Y/N blaming each other for all their problems. 

All of the above. And more. 

Examiner’s notes: I know this looks like a lot. And it is. And there’s more. There’s always more to the story, and if Y/N hadn't been so blind, then she would’ve seen Heeseung’s love and affection for her. Heeseung got to college, and realized he missed Y/N more than any of his other friends. He missed her, and missing her made him love her. He worshipped Y/N, and was willing to do anything for her and that made it hard to walk away from their friendship when she started hooking up with Jake, so Heeseung stayed. He fucking stayed. He stayed, and let Y/N shatter his heart whole. If Y/N had only opened her fucking eyes, looked outside of her mind, she could’ve seen what she had been wishing for for most of her life. Good exam. You seemed to have studied this topic well -- you have the best marks in this class! I hope to see you taking this course at a collegiate level. 

++

“Not a fucking intervention,” you groan, opening the door to see Beomgyu and Jeongin in yoga pants and matching cheetah-print tank-tops. Did cheetah-print tank-tops even exist? You wonder where Beomgyu and Jeongin found them, Lily and her roommate, Jinsoul, would totally love them. “I don’t need an intervention. I’m fine. Please, I hate pilates.” 

Jeongin grabs your arm and yanks you out the door. “Nope. You’re coming to our pilates class.” 

“I’ll scream.”

“Try us,” Beomgyu smiles. It’s not a nice smile. You hate it when Beomgyu smiles with his teeth. 

Jeongin and Beomgyu’s pilate’s class was infamous for many things -- their teacher, Joshua Hong, was a little bit on the…..gay side. And everyone who went to pilates with Beomgyu and Jeongin, came back a changed person -- Jake can attest to that. He was free of his Christian guilt and immediately lit up five bongs, got stoned, ran through the streets naked, and entered a Catholic church. Talk about extreme. 

“Fine. I’ll jump out your van and kill myself.” 

“It’ll be our pleasure to witness that great feat,” Jeongin responds, rapidly pushing the down button on the elevator before giving up and heading for the stairs. 

“What the fuck why are we taking the stairs? We live on the fifteenth floor. I’m not walking down fifteen flights of stairs. Look! The elevator is starting to climb floors --”

“Shut up and start climbing, Y/N,” Beomgyu says, holding the door open. “You need this.” 

“Did you just call me fat?” 

“Maybe. Move your fat ass.” 

“Rude as hell.” 

“You wanna know what’s rude?” Jeongin asks, and instantly, you know what’s about to be said.

“Nope. Don’t say anything. I don’t wanna know --”

“Kissing our best friend and then running away.” 

Yeah. That happened. Call it a moment of panic. 

You groan loudly, the sound reverberating through the stairwell. “I’ll admit, not my finest moment.” 

“Actually, hooking up with Jake while Heeseung was in love with you was not your finest moment,” Jeongin corrects, holding up his forefinger. Behind you, Beomgyu disguises his laughter as a cough. 

You already knew Heeseung was in love with you while you and Jake were hooking up because of Sunoo. He was severely inebriated and decided to spill dark, juicy secrets to you. But, like everything else related to Heeseung, you pushed it away and pulled on your blind glasses, letting your unreliable train of thoughts control the narrative of your life. 

Pulling up to a pilates class in jeans was the worst mistake of your life, but Beomgyu and Jeongin didn’t seem to care as they placed their mats down at the very front of the room, and right next to….Jungwon, Sunoo, and Riki. God. You were literally in hell. 

Jungwon hisses at you, Riki smirks, and Sunoo holds in his laugh. Clearly, the news of you kissing Heeseung had spread fast. 

“I hope all women die,” Jungwon claims in a rather dramatic fashion.

“Don’t say that. They’ll call you misogynistic,” Sunoo says, patting Jungwon on the head. 

“Well. That is something a misogynist would say,” Riki points out. 

“I can’t believe you broke Heeseung’s heart a second time,” a voice behind you says. 

“Who the fuck are you?” You ask, whirling around.

“Chan!” 

“Someone with the name Chan probably stinks,” Beomgyu says. 

“That’s rude,” Chan comments. 

“Your feet stink,” the person behind Chan says. 

Chan leaves the pilates class.

“So,” Jeongin says, beginning to stretch. “What happened?”

You stand there, arms folded, mat still folded, and in jeans. “Not telling.” 

Jungwon hisses again. Sunoo has to manhandle the younger boy away from you. 

“Why not?” Beomgyu asks, pulling out a cruiser from his bag. He takes a sip like it’s water. To be honest, you’re not surprised. You’ve seen their fridge before. You’ve never wanted to unsee something so badly. 

“Because it’s stupid,” you feel ashamed to admit this but whatever. You pick at your jeans. 

“What’s stupid?” Jeongin probes, now doing a handstand -- what the fuck?

“Just -- everything!” 

Upon your sudden proclamation, the pilates instructor, Joshua Hong walks in. Saved by the teacher, you let out a sigh of relief. Jeongin and Beomgyu would have to give up their interrogation for now and you’ll get time to think over pretty solid excuses to their questions. 

Or so you thought.

“Gayshua -- sorry, Joshua!” Beomgyu calls out, “we have another one!” And he points to you. This Joshua Hong fellow grins so brightly you literally have to squint. Talk about veneers. 

“Dope. Come on up here,” Joshua gestures to the podium that is usually used by instructors. 

“What?” You’re confused. 

“Intervention time!” Sunoo cheers, clapping. Soon, the whole studio is clapping and Beomgyu leads you up to the podium. You feel totally befuddled. What the fuck. You were supposed to air out your deepest darkest secret to a room full of strangers?

“Alright, this is Y/N,” Beomgyu introduced you. “She’s in love with our best friend, Heeseung Lee. You all know Heeseung, right?”

Everyone nods their head, and a voice rings out, “yeah! He’s pretty dope.” The voice belonged to Mark Lee. Of-fucking-course. Somehow, this all gets more embarrassing. 

“And he’s in love with her too and she broke his heart --”

“He used to be in love with me,” you correct Beomgyu. “He doesn’t love me anymore.”

Beomgyu laughs so loudly you cower away. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” 

“What…..what was funny about that?” Your ears are still ringing. 

“If he didn’t love you anymore, why is he crying in bed watching Riverdale? Why did you break his heart a second time, as he so dramatically put it?”

It’s like an atom bomb was dropped on you.

“Wait. You said Riverdale?”

Beomgyu nods his head. “That’s how you know it’s bad.” Then he turns back to address his fellow pilates friends. “Y/N did a classic ‘kiss-and-run.’ Today, we will help her unpack all of her feelings, and emotions. But beware; she’s incredibly emotionally repressed. Like it’s fucking terrible.” Then, Beomgyu hops off the stage, and everyone’s eyes are on you. 

“Yo? A kiss-and-run? She must be insaneee,” you hear Mark murmur. 

Maybe he was right.

++

That pilates intervention did nothing. You ended up getting stoned with Beomgyu and Jeongin after, and then immediately falling asleep as soon as you got home. Heeseung plagues your dreams. He’s a never ending nightmare -- right? Dreaming about Heeseung is a nightmare? 

The week continues on. You ignore all the advice Beomgyu and Jeongin’s pilates class gave you and instead take your own advice. You avoid and ignore the problem -- Heeseung. Hell, you don’t even like his Instagram stories. It’s serious business to you. Even at school you manage to avoid Heeseung. 

It’s a Saturday night. Wonyoung is over for dinner. “You know, Y/N,” Wonyoung speaks up suddenly as you’re loading the dishwasher and she’s searching through the fridge. “I think you’re pretty pathetic for avoiding Heeseung.” 

Being called pathetic by Wonyoung Jang of all people means you’ve hit a new low.

“Pardon?” It’s the only response you can manage.

Wonyoung shuts the fridge and smiles at you. “Well, first of all, I don’t know why you enlisted in Lily’s help. Everyone knows she’s not the best person to go to for help. And second of all, I don’t see the point in avoiding Heeseung -- you both love each other. Just go and confess and then you’ll live your life-long dream.” 

“It’s complicated,” you protest, but even to you it sounds like a weak excuse. 

“No it’s not,” Wonyoung responds, studying the various photos and reminders pinned to the surface of your fridge by the random magnets Jake buys -- he has a magnet addiction. It must be the physics part of him -- “you’re the one that’s making it complicated. You love to complicate things, don’t you?” 

This whole conversation is worse than death.

You spend the entire night replaying the conversation over and over again. Your fingers begin to twitch and you grab your phone, unlock it, and click on Heeseung’s contact, your finger hovering over the call button. 

A minute later, you throw down the phone and get up to use the toilet. You’ll never be able to work up the courage to call, or text Heeseung. Maybe this is for the best, really. Pushing open the door to the bathroom, you stop in your tracks upon the sight of Jake helping Layla pee into the toilet. 

“Oh, she’s actually getting better?” 

Jake turns and flashes a smile. “You know what they say! Practice makes perfect!” 

“Right…” you trail off. “Jake, can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Jake says, grabbing some toilet paper for Layla. 

“Do you regret….it?” 

“Yes,” Jake says, without missing a beat. 

“Oh,” you don’t know why you feel so offended, but you don’t blame Jake for regretting it. A lot of friendships were ruined in the process of your relationship. 

“You know, Y/N, you’re not as emotionally repressed as you think. If you wanted, you’d be with Heeseung right now.” 

“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” 

“Sex buddies for life!” Jake grins. “Look, Y/N. You can’t blame yourself for everything that happened in college. We were stupid, you were emotional and in love and I took whatever you gave me. It’s in the past, we’re more mature now. You have a chance, and you should take it. Don’t be afraid.” 

You groan and hold your head in your hands. “I just -- I just can’t call him. I can’t. What do I even say to him?” 

“So don’t call him,” Jake says matter-of-factly. “Go see him.” 

“Go see him? At 2 in the morning?” 

“Excuses, excuses,” tsks Jake. “I’ll drive you.” 

“You’re broke and have no gas.”

“I nicked Jaehyun’s keys in the lobby earlier.”

“Jake!” 

“You’ll be thanking me later. C’mon, let’s go.” 

++

Jake pulls up to Heeseung’s apartment building. You’re sitting in the backseat since Jake insisted on Layla having the passenger’s seat. Your stomach rolls over with nerves and every gulp you take only increases the speed of your heart. 

“I feel sick,” you croak. 

“Throw up in the gutter, not in my car.”

“You mean Jaehyun’s car.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Get out and go see Heeseung. Tell him you love him and want to have his babies.” 

“Alright, alright.” 

Layla barks at you as you exit the car.

“Layla says ‘fighting!’” Jake tells you. 

“Thanks Layla.” You sigh and turn to look up at the building in front of you. “I can do this,” I whisper. 

“I won’t wait for you!” 

“What?!” I exclaim, turning back around. “Why not?”

“I’m tired and need sleep, so you better make sure Heeseung accepts your love and apology otherwise you’re walking home, or sleeping on the street.” With that, Jake pulls away from the curb, leaving you standing helplessly in your cat pajamas and BTS hoodie. 

The elevator ride up to Heeeseung’s floor is the longest ride of your life. You’re sweating everywhere -- forehead, palms, armpits, elbow, behind the knees, and even your feet. You can do this. You can do this. It’s easy, just apologize and admit your love. 

The elevator door dings open revealing Heeseung. 

“Oh!”

“Oh.”

You and Heeseung stare at each other for so long, the elevator doors start to shut again. For a second, you want them to shut and take you away, but then you remember Jake’s threats, and Wonyoung’s words and you’re thrusting your hands out, stopping the doors from closing. 

“Heeseung,” You begin with a surge of confidence. “I’m sorry for running away after kissing you. That was kind of a stupid move.” 

The elevator doors begin to shut again. You thrust your hand out to stop them from closing. “Like, it was genuinely stupid because why did I do that? I mean, I’ve been in love with you for twelve years, so I should’ve stayed and kissed you more --”

You hold your hand out to stop the doors from closing. 

“--I should’ve enjoyed kissing you. But instead, I ran because apparently that’s what I’ve been doing for the past couple of years. It’s true, though, that I’ve loved you for twelve years. I loved you every second of those twelve years. I’ve never stopped. And it’s okay if you don’t love me back, even though Beomgyu told me you’re watching Riverdale. I’m sorry for making you so sad you watched Riverdale. I think that’s the worst part about all of this.”

This time, it’s Heeseung who stops the doors, letting you continue on with your monologue. You hope you’re making sense. 

“I guess this is where I say; I love you Heeseung, and I would like another chance to kiss you.” 

Heeseung doesn’t say anything when he gets into the elevator with you. He presses the lobby button, and watches the door close in silence. You’re pretty sure you’re not breathing. “Heeseung?” You ask, gently. “Are you okay?” 

Heeseung doesn’t say anything until the doors ding open, revealing the lobby. Turning to you, Heeseung takes your hand and leads you out of the elevator. “Heeseung, where are we going?” You ask, following Heeseung as he leads you out of the apartment building. 

It’s raining.

“Do you have an umbrella?” Heeseung asks, finally saying something.

You shake your head.

“I can’t be bothered going back up to get mine. Are you okay with walking in the rain?”

“Of course, as long as I’m with you.”

Cringe or not, it makes Heeseung smile. 

“Well, actually, I kind of do mind because when my hair dries after being out in the rain it gets all frizzy and --” You cut yourself off as Heeseung breaks out into a sprint, tugging you along with him. What the fuck was he on? Was he stoned, or something? Maybe he was leading you to your death. Sounds right. You, too, would murder Heeseung if he pulled a kiss-and-run on you. In fact, it would probably be a murder-suicide. 

Okay. That’s kind of morbid. 

It turns out, Heeseung took you for a run around the block. God he’s such a weirdo. And a loser. And a freak. And you’re totally in love with him. He has no flaws. He’s perfect. He’s like Prince Charming, if Prince Charming’s hobbies were hotboxing and playing every instrument known to man. 

“What the fuck, Heeseung? Why did we just run around the block?” 

“You look cute,” Heeseung responds. “I totally dig your cat pajamas. Didn’t Jay give you those?” 

“Um. Yes? Answer my question, Heeseung.” 

“I actually told Jay to buy you those.” 

“Really?”

Heeseung nods. “He was freaking out. He didn’t know what to buy you. I, as usual, was his savior.” 

“Oh, well, thank you?” 

“It’s fine,” Heeseung smiles, his eyes crinkling. “And to answer your question; I’ve always wanted to kiss someone in the rain.”

“....Okay but why did we have to get soaked?” 

“It makes the kiss more romantic.”

“How so?” 

“Want me to show you?” 

God, you don’t think you’ve ever smiled wider. You’re pretty sure you’re splitting your face in half with how wide you’re smiling. You must look ugly. Hopefully Heeseung will still want you. “Yes. Please.”

So, Heeseung shows you.

He kisses you. 

And he’s right. He’s so fucking right. You should start kissing Heeseung in the rain, while soaked, more often. 

He kisses you, and you stop shivering. He warms you from the inside out. Heeseung Lee is officially a genius. He should get a Nobel Peace Prize for kissing in the rain. 

“Wow,” you say, pulling away. You feel Heeseung’s thumbs brush over your cheeks as he cradles your face so gently. “You were right.”

“Always am. And for the record, I love you too, I accept your apology, and I’ve loved you for thirteen years.” 

“What? No you haven’t! I’ve loved you for longer!” Heeseung is a liar. He is a freak. There is no way in hell he’s loved you longer than you’ve loved him. Seriously, how blind and stupid are you? For all you know, you and Heeseung could’ve been in a twelve-year long relationship by now. Damn. You feel sick all of a sudden….curse you and your stupid self. You should ask your mom if you got dropped on the head repetitively when you were a baby.

“Yes. I’ve loved you for thirteen years. I remember when I first felt it. We were at Jay’s. It was barbeque night. You grabbed the ketchup bottle and it exploded all over your top. One of the funniest moments of my life, but it was also the moment I started loving you.” 

“....That’s not fair.” 

“Nothing in life is fair.” 

“You’re such a loser.” 

“Says the one who ran away after finally kissing me.” 

“Can we not bring that up?!” you whine. 

“Oh, I’m gonna bring it up for the rest of your life,” grins Heeseung. 

“Let’s break up.” 

“No,” Heeseung says, and kisses you again. “Also, I was expecting more of an extravagant way of professing your love for me,” he says after drawing back from the kiss. 

“Oh, I had something planned. I was going to make my kids, one by one, enter your classroom with a rose and hand it to you, and then I was gonna get the band to play "I Melt With You" by Modern English while I get down on my knees and profess my love for you.” 

Heeseung’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. “Really?!”

“No.” 

++

jake’s intervention: stop kissing everything

[2:45 AM]

you: heeseung and i are dating btw

you: in case anyone cares

[12 PM]

gaymansaywhat: Congrats.

[9:22 PM]

nishimura: sunoo give me 20 bucks or jungwon gets it

author’s note: idk what that ending was. it just got worse the longer i went on…. also this probs couldve been more angstier but i am currently suffering and going through the worst writers block of my life so pls forgive me. anyway stars will fall part two is being written its just. a long process. hope u enjoyed this shit show pls dont take any of it seriously 😭😭😭

[anne20055]

i don’t really have any pressing opinions but i love to ask questions!! what’s your fav dnp vid of all time :)

oh dear god i was low key hoping i wouldn’t get asked this cause jesus christ there’s so many 😭😭

i’m going to choose multiple and kind of break them into chunks so this is going to get long and i greatly apologize if this is not at all the stupidly in-depth answer you were wanting:

firstly, dan:

ok for dans channel, i will always have a massive soft spot for any of his long content like BIG and Why I Quit Youtube and WAD so that whole sub genre gets its own place

i also love Daniel And Depression and Living My Truth a lot as well

for the Dystopia Daily videos, i love We’re In A Relationship, as well as the roasting viewers dating profiles, viewers pick dans outfits, and his viewers’ assumptions video

ok now phil:

i love all his hospital videos cause i’m parasocial, i also love WDAPTEO for the same reason of course

(also side note but i love how with all four of the WDAPTEO videos, they literally only get better)

i also love all his “confessions” and his two “dating advice” videos cause i love watching him judge

ALSO, this is arguably the most important, but for some reason whenever i just want an easy phil lester video to watch, i love the “taking old youtuber quizzes” video, i don’t hear anyone talk about it but it’s great if your just wanting some chill phil content

now the “gaming” channel:

starting with pre hiatus cause it makes sense and is a hell of a lot easier:

i love all the google games, weather it be google feud, higher lower game, guess the wikihow, or any of the others, if i’m watching a pre-hiatus video, it’s probably one of those

i also love all the dab and evan sims videos pre hiatus as well

POST HIATUS:

trombone champ never fails to make me cry laughing 10/10

slime and sadness cinnamon rolls cause sister daniel is my spirit animal

the tiktok videos and the phan meme videos, for some reason i’ve always seen these as having a similar vibe, i don’t know why but if anyone else gets it please let me know so i don’t feel crazy 😭

reacting to PINOF

roasting dan and phil’s red carpet looks

ok i’m done thank you for maybe reading im so sorry this was so long <33

thank you for the question, i appreciate it, i hope you weren’t completely unsatisfied with the answer :)

[sparrownnax]

HI HERO OAK FAN HERE maybe its bc im an older sister but she makes me fucking insane. chosen one tropes already fuck me up a lot but hero oak is sososososoooooooo . yknow. like she loves space and anime and is so annoying and the weight of the world is on her shoulders

LITERALLYYYYYYYY shes so. child sacrifice who's scapegoat was her own brother; she didn't have a say in that. wikihow to develop a regular relationship with my family after my parents knew there was a good chance i was going to die and didn't provide me with some kind of support for that and i avoided my brother so my death would not hurt him. dood was apparently able to come back, did they get to talk to her at all? do they feel bad for being the cause of the prophecy even though the actual creator of the prophecy does not feel the same remorse? does she feel bad for making normal deal with the problem that was supposed to be hers? i think at first she might have, but y'know you can only carry so much before things start falling off the pile. i don't know jack shit about space but i hope she has a good time in her Space Science Career. she likes her kool-aid super saturated i have decided just now. she was a sailor moon fan, grant introduced her as a very small child (<- me making things up again).

[feeling-pushy]

The Three Amigos

Recently added a new character to my "Creature Apocalypse" story. A friend for both Montanha and the old Rosie (and also future lover for Montanha >.>) anyways I hope you guys like it! Fallow me on my BlueSky Account to know more about the characters I've mentioned!

“And where did you say you learned this?” asked Rosie as she watched her older friend fiddle with some sticks and a looped wire.

“Wikihow. I googled a bunch of stuff, before the internet went out and screen shot a bunch of how-to's.” Montanha explains as he finishes setting up his little trap. Two sticks were staked into the earth, parallel to each other. One stick was bigger than the other and had a hole in it so a bit of wire could be threaded through and tied around it. The rest of the wire was looped around on itself and resting on the smaller of the two sticks. It was made in a way that if a small animal, like a rabbit, were to hop threw the loop, the loop itself would tighten and hopefully kill it.

Sitting back to admire his handiwork before looking back at Rosie with a grin. “If this one ends up working I can make a bunch more and hopefully we can get a bunch of meat.”

“Ugh, I would kill for some meat!’ says Rosie with an exaggerated groan, ‘I’m so sick of dried foods and foraged shit. I want proteeeiiinnn!”

“Yeah, yeah, I hear yah. Come on, let’s go set up one more test trap and then you promised me that you’d help me practice my bow and arrowing.”

“Oh right, I did promise that. Yeah, you could definitely use the practice.” Rosie says with a smug grin as Montanha rolls his eyes. Getting up, Montanha and Rosie move about a hundred yards to the east before Montanha sets his backpack down and starts rummaging threw it. After a minute he pulls out some bright neon orange rope, “got this from that Home Depot we broke into last week.” He said with a proud smile.

“So resourceful.”

“Shush.” He says, pulling out his phone again to look at some step-by-step guides. Slowly he weaves the rope together into a net. He then takes the slack and hands it to Rosie. “Can you go climb that tree for me and find a good branch to loop this on please? Put it on one of those bottom branches, nothing too weak but I need it to have at least enough give so I can make a trigger for the trap.”

Rosie takes the rope, “You got it Monty my man.”

“You know I hate being called Monty.” He complains, Rosie just smiles at him before climbing a nearby tree. She was like a little squirrel, buck teeth and all, Montanha thought to himself as she scurried up there. She tested a few branches before she found one that seemed strong enough for the purpose of their trap, throwing the rope back to Montanha before scurrying back down. “Alrighty! Branch secured!”

“Thanks.” Montanha takes the other end of the rope from Rosie and begins rigging up the trap. Fortunately, he was tall enough to reach up at the branch with some minimal effort, pulling it down some and holding it in place with the trigger, so that when it tripped it was snap back up to its original position and if they were lucky, the animal that set it off would be inside the net. Sitting back with a satisfied smile, Montanha looked to Rosie, “Alright, hopefully we catch something big with this one.’ He then gets up and dusts some dirt off his jeans, ‘Now let’s go practice some archery.”

“Alright my man!” she said with a grin as the two of them went to go find a nice little clearing, about a hundred yards away from the traps, so as to not scare off potential prey. Rosie and Montanha stand in a clearing surrounded by towering trees. Together the two had taken a nearby rotted log and rolled it over to lean against another tree, Montanha then carved a ring around the middle. Making them a makeshift target to use.

Rosie, with her bow in hand, takes a few steps ahead of Montanha, who holds the bow uncertainly, his tall frame dwarfing the slender weapon. “Alright, big guy, let's go over the basics again. Grip the bow firmly but not too tight, try not to crush it. Then you knock the arrow onto the string before pulling back.” She says as she demonstrates, pulling back with a smooth, practiced motion.

“Alright...” Montanha draws the arrow back as Rosie instructed him to do. It should’ve been easy enough for him strength wise, but for some reason, he always struggled with pulling the string back. Not only that, but he found he was having trouble keeping the arrow from wobbling up and down in his hand. For some reason he just couldn’t keep his hands steady, “Stupid fuckin- ugh!” He growls frustrated after wrestling with it for a few moments.

Rosie watches Montanha's struggle, “Whoa, calm down Paul Bunyan. No need to get frustrated, just adjust your grip a little, you’re still squeezing it too hard.’ Rosie steps over to him, she makes him relax his draw before helping Montanha adjust the grip on the bow, gently guiding them to the right place, ‘Ok better, now try drawing again, but focus on keeping your arm steady as you draw back.” She says stepping back.

With the new hand positioning and advice, Montanha had a much easier time drawing the bow back, though still not as fluid as Rosie, it was still an improvement. “There you go, that's better. Now, the arrow. Slide it onto the arrow’s rest, nock it properly. Make sure it's aligned with your sight.” Montanha nods and tries again. This time he had a better grip on the arrow and kept it straight, he looked over to her expectantly, “like this?” Rosie nods approvingly, a grin spreading across her face, “Much better! You've got the hang of it big guy. Now, hold that position steady, and release when you feel confident. Remember to keep your focus on the target, not the arrow.”

She demonstrates this with her own bow, drawing back the arrow and with a single slow breath, releasing her shot. The arrow struck the center of the makeshift target, and Rosie, with a smug grin, turned to Montanha, “Think you can handle that big guy?” She challenges a little. Rolling his eyes playfully, Montanha took his turn, looking at the target, and once he felt like he was in a good spot, letting the arrow go. However, his shot went wide, missing the bullseye by a wide margin, “shit...”

“Nice try, Mr. Zombie Apocalypse Expert. Maybe you should stick to your axe.” she teases.

“Alright Katniss Everdeen, not everyone can be as naturally gifted as you apparently.” he quips, hand on his hip. Rosie laughs but relents, “Alright, alright once more, with feeling.” she goes over the steps of aiming and releasing the bow one more time with him. Showing him how he needs to plant his feet and to relax his shoulders. With this guidance, Montanha releases a slow breath before letting the arrow fly. This time, it hit the outer most ring of the target.

“Daryl Dixon, eat your heart out.”

“Whatever, Charlie Matheson.”

“You cannot wound me with names of characters I don’t even know. Just like you wouldn't be able to wound me with that arrow.” she sticks her tongue out at him after she says that. Montanha rolls his eyes at Rosie's antics and goes to pull the arrow out of the target. “At least I'm getting closer to the target. I'll be putting dinner on the table before we know it!”

“Yeah! Maybe we'll get a turtle...or a fish or something.”

“Shut up!’ he aims the arrow again and fires, still hitting around the outer rim ‘I meant to do that.” He says a bit sheepishly, “Oh I'm sure you did Apollo...”

The two continued to practice their archery for a while, both playfully going back and forth on the teasing, Montanha especially getting on her when she slipped up on a shot and hers hit a nearby tree a couple of feet away from the target, which annoyed her. Not like he had much room to make fun, when more than half of his shots ended up going wide or embedding themselves into the dirt in front of him.

He did manage to hit a bullseye once and Rosie was actually quite proud of him, “There yah go Montanha! I’ll make an expert out of you yet!” she says beaming up at him. Montanha turns to her with a smile, “Thanks Rosie… Hey, you wanna go check on the snares?” At the mention of the traps, Rosie brightens up. “Do you think we caught anything by now?”

Montanha shrugs, “I hope so. Besides, we should start heading back to camp anyway.” He says, noting that the sun was starting to make it’s way down from the sky, which meant it would soon be evening. “Great!” she says, already running to grab the arrows and kick over the makeshift target. Once the two of them packed up, they set out to check their traps.

The first trap they checked was the small snare trap and it was unfortunately empty. Rosie sighed but then perked up again as they headed for their second, bigger trap, the net they'd made with bright orange rope had the potential to catch something rather large after all. “Maybe we caught something big to eat! Like a fox or maybe even a boar! Whatever it is I hope it's made of meat.” Rosie says with her trademark optimism.

Montanha wouldn't have minded some meat as well, though with their luck they probably be lucky if they caught a fox of some kind. However as they got closer to the net, they did hear the sounds of something struggling, and though they couldn’t yet see it behind the shrubbery, it was safe to assume they’d caught something.

Rosie, eyes shining, ran forward towards the trap, crossing the brush line before him, “Montanha, we got something! We got... uhhh.” her cheers suddenly stopped and Montanha, feeling a small bit paranoid, hurried over faster to see what it was. As soon as he was within sight of the trap, Montanha looks up at the net to see that there wasn't an animal in the net but a young man around Montanha's age.

“Oh god, don't hurt me! Or turn me into the main course!” the young man cried as he struggled in the net, clearly panicked. Both blinked stunned at the sight. They had not expected to see something like this. “ ... Think that’s a Creature?” Montanha says, asking the most obvious question.

It wasn't the most ridiculous question to ask, though. It was better to be cautious these days than to trust something at face value. For all he knew it could be a Creature and whether this was a trap it set up or if it was genuinely caught, wouldn’t really make that much of a difference in the end. Still, Montanha couldn't help but feel a bit bad for the guy, who clearly looked scared, he felt the need to help the poor guy out. Though he refrained from doing so at the moment.

Rosie thought on it for a moment, but then she smirked “No, I don’t think a Creature would be dumb enough to get caught in a trap like this.’ Looking up at the guy in the tree, she leaned on her bow like a prop and looked up at him with a smirk playing on her lips, ‘How's it going, buddy? Come here often?” she teases.

“Ha! Real funny kid, really funny. You right about one thing though, I'm not a Creature. I'm just a guy trying to survive this end of days bullshit like you both are. So... Would you mind letting me down... Well unless you two are Creatures. You’re not Creatures are you..?” he hesitantly asks.

“What would be more embarrassing for yah? If you got caught by people, or Creatures?” Rosie asks, still smirking at the absurdity of the scene. The auburn fellow did not look nearly as amused as her, “Both kinda suck right now, but I'd rather chance it on the ground.”

“Would you prefer the safe way or the fast way? Cause both can be arranged.” Rosie provokes, but before the guy can retort though, Montanha raises his arms, “Alright, alright, everyone calm down. Look, we're sorry you got trapped in our net.”

“Our brightly colored orange net-“ Montanha looks over at Rosie “Shush.’ he looks back up at the man hanging in the net, ‘We're not Creatures and we can prove it... And I'm sure you can prove it as well. So why don't we get you down and we can get past this? Hm?” the young man nods hesitantly, “Yeah, alright.”

With the confirmation, Montanha asks Rosie to untie the rope holding the net, which she does. Once the net released, Montanha caught the man before he can hit the ground, the guy looked a bit surprised to be caught but looked out at Montanha with a small smile, “Thanks...”

“No problem.’ Montanha says setting him down, he gives the guy a friendly smile ‘There you go. Sorry about all that, and sorry about my friend here. She's actually pretty insufferable...” Rosie, annoyed, elbows him roughly, which only made Montanha chuckle. The young man shrugs a bit with a smirk “Hey, it's fine. I'm just glad you guys aren't Creatures or... Desperate cannibals or something.”

Rosie’s eyes go a bit wide, “Yo, that be kinda fucked up though. Who would even resort to such a thing??” Montanha shrugged at her question, but is more focused on the new guy, “So what's your name? I'm Montanha and this is Rosie.” he says as he gestures to both himself and her. Rosie gives him an upwards nod as she looked at him.

“I'm Asher, you can call me Ash for short though.”

“Sup Ash Ketchum!” Rosie quips with a sly grin, Asher merely crosses his arms and smiles “Not much Rosie O'Donnell.” He shoots back. A big grin spreads across Rosie’s face “Oh, I like this one.’ looks at Montanha, ‘Can we keep him Dad?” Montanha rolls his eyes “What, is he a puppy?”

“Aww, come on, Uncle Monty! I've been really good and I got all A's on my last report card!”

“Stop.’ He says, shooting a look at Rosie before looking back at Asher, ‘Do you have a place to stay right now? We got some food if you wanna crash with us tonight. The least we can do after trapping yah after all.” Montanha offers. Asher eyes softened at this, “I don't have a place, so I think I'd like that.”

“Great, come with us then.” Montanha says as he and Rosie then lead the new guy to their camp. They start to hike to the camp which wasn’t too far thankfully.

As they walk, Rosie saddles herself up next to Asher and Montanha could see she was flashing him her signature rat-tooth grin, which Montanha knew meant she was about to try to get something from him. “So Bear Grills, you don't happen to have any meat on yah, do you?”

“I don't...” he says, Rosie throws her head back “Baaallllsss. Not even some jerky? I’ll settle for jerky.” Asher shakes his head, “ ’fraid not.”

“Baaaaalllllllllllllssss!”

Asher feels a bit bad about that, but then he remembers something and suddenly he slyly smiles, “buuutttt, I may know where I can get you guys some.”

Both perked up at that.

“Seriously?? Spill!!” Rosie says grabbing the guy by the arms and giving him a small shake, he gives a chuckle, “Haha alright! Alrighty! Do either of you have any experience bow hunting?” he asks. At this question, Rosie’s chest puffs out a bit in pride, “I'm you're girl.”

“Great!’ Asher then looks up at Montanha, ‘What about you big guy? Did you do any hunting before the world went I Am Legend on us?”

Montanha looks a bit flustered at the question, “No, I wasn't really- wait.’ He stops when the second part of his question finally registered with him, he turns to look at Asher with a grin spreading on his face, ‘you know I Am Legend??”

“Oh no, here we go...” Rosie says with a slight eye roll.

Asher, on the other hand, seems to become equally excited as he grins up at Montanha, “Of course I know I Am Legend! I loved that movie! But I kinda wish they went with the alternate ending a bit more.”

“Seriously!!! Like the alternate ending is so much more thought-provoking!’ he exclaims, the volume of his voice, which he usually kept low to be disarming, quickly going up in his excitement, ‘Letting the zombie lady go and watching them take her back in and Robert seeing that this was their world now is just so much better than the generic girl showing up to the resistance group with the cure bullshit that almost every other movie does!!”

Asher didn’t seemed to be too effected by the sudden change of volume as he matched his excitement, “Right?! And it gives the movie so much more depth!”

“Oh and the part when his dog dies??”

“God yeah that part always makes me cry!”

“And honestly people give so much shit for the CGI looking bad, but like honestly for the time it’s not so bad-!”

“Hey nerds! Hunting?” Rosie asks cutting off their geeking out. Asher gives an apologetic grin as he flushed a bit in embarrassment, ”Oh-right! Ok, Montanha I know you said you didn't hunt too much, but do you think you could still be able to help us as much as you can?”

“Yeah, I should be able to.” He says nodding. “Yeah, don't worry, he's still learning, but my man here is a beast when it comes to lifting shit!” she says, patting Montanha's torso, like a used car salesman might pat the hood of a car. Asher grins at that, “Great! Follow me but watch your footing. I saw a group of deer moving through the woods a ways back. They'll probably be around here by now.” He says before leading the two of them in a new direction.

Eagerly, the two of them followed Asher as he led them through the woods. Both Asher and Rosie treaded silently, already entering a sort of hunting mode. Montanha trailed behind them and tried to stay quiet like them, but he lacked the instinct and he was the loudest out of the three. Which is why he decided to hang back some ways to not ruin their stealth.

After a few more yards Asher, stopped both Rosie and Montanha with a hand and gestured to a pack of deer grazing in a clearing just up ahead. Asher brought the two of them in close, whispering quietly as he shared the plan with the two of them “Ok, what I need you to do Rosie, is to use your bow and go for that older buck over there with the gray fur. Montanha, once the buck is down and the rest of the herd runs, we're gonna need your help to haul it back. Then we’ll all be able to eat like kings.”

Montanha and Rosie both nod as Rosie pulls out her bow. She nocks in an arrow and draws the string back. Her face is flat as her eyes taken in the environment around her and examined the deer. She draws a couple of deep controlled breaths in... and out, in...

She lets the arrow fly on the exhale.

The arrow wizzes threw the air like a dart and hits the deer dead in the side, piercing the heart and making it go down. The other deer, startled, immediately flee the area leaving the elder buck behind. “Nice! You got it!’ Asher says standing up and gestures for them to follow ‘Come on, let's make sure it's down.

Rosie jumps up with a cheer and starts making her way through the brush. Montanha followed the two, his face awashed with awe. Even after seeing her do that a dozen times, Montanha still couldn't help but be impressed by her skill, watching her take down that deer had been quite the sight. She truly was something else. Hopefully one day he could be at her level, but for now he was happy she was around to help him learn those skills and make these crucial kills.

Once they make it down there, Asher and Rosie check the deer. It was down, but not quite out as it let out shallow breaths and looked at the three of them with wild-eyed fear. Rosie hums as she sees this, “I guess the wind was a bit stronger than I thought, sorry about that old fella.” she says to the deer as she crouches down. “Montanha, hand me the knife please.” She asks holding out a hand for it.

Montanha’s stomach starts to churn, knowing what she's going to do next. He’d seen her do it a couple of times before, but he still swallows a bit dryly, as he hands the knife over. Once she has it, he turns his head to look away from what happens next. Asher see's Montanha’s reaction to this, and becomes a bit sympathetic, seeing that despite the size, this guy seemed like the gentle type of soul. Something that was probably hard to be in this more cutthroat world they now lived in.

 Asher then looks over at the deer and starts stroking its neck in a calming manner, “Shhhh...it's ok old man...I'm sorry we have to do this.” He says soothingly, no doubt the deer was scared, but he did seem to calm down a bit as Asher continues to gently stroke his neck, its eyes relaxing and loosing some of that wild fear. Asher looks at Rosie and nods as she pushes the knife into the deer's chest.

Even as she does this however, Asher keeps on stroking the deer softly and hushing it calmly as the old buck finally slips away with a final exhale, “There we go.” Asher coos gently. Once the deed was done, Rosie slashed at the neck and turned the creature more downhill to help speed up the blood draining process. It didn't take too long for all the blood to gush out, and once it was drained, Rosie stood up and looked at Montanha, “alright big fella, you're up!”

Montanha nods as he now stoops down himself, bending his knees and hooking his arms underneath the carcass. Getting a good hold on the deer, in one fluid motion he lifted the body up with ease and hoisted it over his shoulder with only a small grunt of effort. Asher was a bit taken aback by the ease with which he did that, “Uh. Do you need any help with it at all, Montanha? That buck can't be light.” He says eyes kinda wide.

“No, it's fine. I got it.” Montanha said rather nonchalantly, there wasn’t even any strain in his voice as he said this, looking at Asher with a bright smile. The deer was heavy sure, but it wasn't anything he couldn’t manage.

“Alright, if you're sure. Damn, you gotta tell me your work out regiment. Maybe I won't be so lanky! Haha.” Asher jokes. Still, his face flushed a bit, most likely due to the now cooling evening air, Montanha thought. He chuckled, “It ain’t nothing special, comes with being the size of a literal mountain. Truthfully if I wanted too I could probably carry both you and this deer, if you’re willing to get thrown over the other shoulder.” Montanha jokes.

“Yeah he once had to do that for me after I twisted my ankle after a hunt!” Rosie adds.

“Haha wow. Uh, I’ll have to take you up on that next time I twist an ankle!” He jokes again with an even redder face. This cold evening air must really be getting to him, Montanha thought. “Well then lets get going before it gets too cold out here.” Montanha says as the three of them head back towards the camp.

Once they reached the camp Asher, wanting to be a polite guest, begins skinning the buck while Rosie started the kindling and Montanha begin gathering up the logs to start a fire. “So, where did yall come from before all this started?” Asher asks.

Rosie stoking the fire is the one to answer the question, “Oh well, the two of us used to work together back before the world ended, just like a shitty minimum wage job, yah know? And well, on the day that it happened Montanha had this like 'bad feeling’ after he saw some strange stuff happen outside and in the store. So he makes this whole big scene as he jumps on the PA system and tells everyone to evacuate the store! And boy you should’ve seen our manager,  she was piisssseedd! She and Montanha start like bickering at the front of the store over the whole thing. And I was kinda freaking out at that point, cause I’m worried about my parents and I wanted to go home. So Montanha offered to take me back, and we ended up having to walk like half the damn day to get there cause everyone was already out of the city by that point. But he walks me all the way there and then well...’ she pauses and her face gets a bit sad, ‘well long story short we realized there was no going home. So we've just kinda been traveling together ever since.”

Montanha nods, “Yeah it's just been us.”

“I see... I was just ditching school when it all happened. Right there in the middle of town, the Creatures started attacking and I had to run back to the trailer park where my dad and older brother were. My brother didn't make it... And I don't know what happened to my dad, I can only hope he’s ok out there. But either way, I've been traveling alone ever since.” Asher says his head low and not meeting their eyes as he continues to field dress the deer.

Montanha and Rosie share a look as he says that, Montanha especially looking sympathetic as he looks at Asher, “That must've been tough...”

Rosie nods, “Yeah, I don't think I could've traveled by myself... Montanha is the only person that keeps me going some days.” She admits, looking back at Montanha as she does. Asher, setting the deer's hide aside sighs “It was rough a lot... But I'm at least glad I made a couple new friends today, even if just for today.”

At his words Montanha and Rosie share yet another look with each other. Montanha’s sad eyes already said enough for Rosie, who after a moment of silent debate, meets his sad eyes with a small nod and a smile. Once he got the silent confirmation, Montanha addressed Asher, “You know, if you want too, you can always travel with us for a while.’ Montanha offered, ‘As long as you can tolerate having to put up with this one…’ Rosie shot him another look, ‘but we got decent supplies, and there should be enough for a third person.”

Asher looks up at that, his eyes lighting up a little as he laughs a bit “Well, as long as you two are willing to put up with my dumbass, then I accept!”

Both Montanha and Rosie light up as well, “Well, you're in luck! This is a pack of fools. Now we can be the three amigos of stupid.” Rosie says as she grins.

Asher chuckles again, “Three amigos huh? Yeah I can work with that…”

“Alrighty! Now lets celebrate with some good ol’ deer meat! I need meat now!!” Rosie yells.

“Calm down you clown, we’ll cook some meat soon.” Montanha says rolling his eyes.

“Who are you calling a clown Sasquatch??”

“Ok beaver girl.”

“Boy I’m about to put your ass in the fire if you call me a beaver girl again” Rosie threatens. Montanha just laughs, not at all taking that threat seriously. Asher watches these two have their verbal tussle and for the first time in a long time, the cold and heavy feeling that has been sitting in his chest since the day he lost his family, starts to lighten a little.

[bb-dot-move-daisies]

MORE. MORE.

1. who fell first/who fell harder?

oh shit...i think they both were on the same page the whole time, except they have severely different ways of expressing it. but i wanna say...kylie, then kylie again.

(2/3/4 absolutely no idea what these are.)

5. (two QUEEN song titles, huh?) who killer queen, who good old fashioned loverboy? kylie for both.

6. go to pet names for each other?

daisy sticks to the classics like "honey", "dear", "sugar" — meanwhile kylie genuinely uses pet names to remember people, so she gets a little more creative. i think the main ones kylie has for daisy are "smokeshow", and "spacegirl"

7. what are their star signs? i have to google this.

kylie was born on the 29th of February, daisy was born on December 31st. pisces and capricorn. (and wikihow says they're compatible; awesome.)

8. (paraphrasing) where in the los gibitties are they?

daisy is a cis lesbian gray ace attorney; kylie's a genderfluid transfemme, who uses she/they with the occasional "masc associated" words (like "handsome", "dad/daddy", etc), and identifies herself as a "lesbian with a biiiiiig asterisks"

9. soulmates by chance. pure chance.

10. skip.

11. (paraphrasing) who's more random in public, and who says "unfortunately thats the love of my life" i have no idea, honestly. i feel like daisy, when drunk and happy can be quite expressive and loud, and kylie would just...fall in love all over again.

12. three songs that remind me of:

Daisy:

- first love/late spring

- washing machine heart

- my love all mine

(it's all mitski 😭😭😭😭💥🚛🕊️)

(i think, subconsciously, daisy's design is heavily based on the kind of women mitski writes about. and whenever i write daisy talking, i tend to go the kind of weird figurative language route that mitski tends to go for in her music...so i think thats why.)

Kylie:

- mr. blue sky - electric light orchestra

- the blonde - tv girl

- and this ones just a straight up Movie, but, pretty woman starring julia roberts and richard gere.

13. who's "tell me im pretty" and who's "ur annoying" (so many of these questions are in that "who tops" type format, but ill answer anyway. cuz its fun.)

daisy never asks kylie to tell her she's pretty, but kylie can feel when she needs it, so she says it. and daisy expresses her love for kylie in protective, but — at times — overly rude quips, because deep down, she can't stand the idea of HER woman in danger.

(also Kylie's a subby top.)

14. love languagesss!!! my favourite trademarked set of behaviours!!!

gifts, and service from kylie. service, and words for daisy.

15. yknow despite the fact that one of my girls is an astronaut i have no idea what "sun moon star eclipse" is. skip.

16. non sexual acts of intimacy.

- kylie cooking the foods daisy likes and remembering how she likes them.

- in bed, whispering about their days, and all the hours spent without each other at work

- daisy showering while kylie shits.

17. i...cant imagine either of them in a physical fight,...theyre both athletic to some degree, i just cant imagine them having the desire to fight for themselves.... Maybe Daisy? daisy has more bloodlust. but fuck i dont know. she could never beat kylie in a fight. right? even if kylie doesn't fight back, she's canonically bigger and heavier...daisy could throw a million punches while kylie does nothing and it would be a fair match.

18. three other ships from other things that remind me of daisy and kylie:

- fucking Arin and Suzy from game grumps.

19. who likes dogs who likes cats? kylie loves dogs. daisy hates animals. she'll take a Cool Fish™ , maybe, but could never take care of it

20. favorite thing about each other?

daisy likes that kylie doesn't need to be babied. that—on the contrary, kylie takes care of, and pampers daisy (as she deserves). kylie can be kinda shallow at times, but she's good with her hands, and quick on her feet. — that's what daisy likes about kylie. she can rely on her.

kylie likes...everything about daisy. to kylie, daisy is the kind of girl they wanna write home about. yknow? she likes that daisy's smart—she's a reader, she fills the gaps in conversation where kylie just prefers to listen. she's a good cuddle. she has pretty hair. she looks sexy in everything. she makes a lot of money. she's awesome to cook for. she's a competent mother. her family adooores her. (and this one's selfish) but daisy can be a bit of an insomniac, so she's still quite Active late at night; which works for kylie (nightshifter), cus now she has someone to come home to.

21. do they ever match??? in clothing? no, bc there's a severe gap in the way that they dress and shop. however i can see daisy wearing kylies t-shirts and boxers around the house...and i can see kylie wearing daisy's stuff for more Fashionable events

22. their own little ways of saying i love you:

- daisy protects kylie. but would risk crossing her own comfort zones for kylie. and when kylie's in bed, she falls asleep a little easier, because kylie protects her too.

- kylie pets daisy hair, and kisses every inch of her body. kylie waits to see daisy, almost every time. she's at her beck and call.

23. daisy wouldn't marry herself, and neither would kylie. they both kinda hate themselves a lot.

24. coffee or tea? coffee for both

25. one to five tropes they could embody in an au:

- highschool au (the real alteration being that the girls arent four years apart)

i think the reason for this is because the way i write kylie is heavily based on the way i write GRENDAN in my dr*wtectives highschool fics (fun fact) (censoring so they don't FIND ME.)

kylie is a gifted kid with severe imposter's syndrome, meanwhile daisy is an overachiever with no friends.

that's always a fun dynamic for me.

- princess x peasant is another good one for these two...

i think daisy would make an amazing politician,

princesses are just... politicians with a facecard. but i also believe that kylie's girldick is strong enough to tear the military down

🌙 * ―　silly little unique trivia about your otp．❫

who fell first, and who fell harder?

their hypothetical godly parents (or a deity they could embody in a mythological setting).

soldiers, poets, or kings?

the olive theory according to them (and their palate).

who's the ‘good old-fashioned lover boy’, and who's the ‘killer-queen’?

go-to pet names they have for each other, if any.

what are their star signs? (i know nothing about astrology, but it's funky so out with it!)

their sexual orientations and/or gender identities.

soulmates by fate/chance or by choice?

their hypothetical hogwarts houses, either traditionally speaking, so to say, or following the sortinghatchats method. (alternatively, if you'd rather: their alignment by dnd standards).

who's more likely to do stupid, impulsive, or random stuff, and who's there being like, ‘regrettably, that's the love of my life’?

one to three songs that remind you of them.

who's the “tell me i'm pretty” one, and who's the “you're pretty fucking annoying is what you are” in the relationship?

their love languages.

sun, moon, stars, earth, or eclipse?

three to five non-sexual acts of intimacy.

who's the “i could beat the shit out of you” one, and who's the “i know” one?

one to three other ships from other pieces of media that may remind you of them.

who's the dog person, and who's the cat person? (other pets or animals may also apply.)

their absolute favourite thing about each other in the whole wide world.

do they ever match in any way?

their own little way (or ways) to say ‘i love you’.

who's the “i wouldn't marry myself either” one, and who's the “i would marry you with parer rings” one? (alternatively: i'd marry you with paper rings vs. i'm rich. i'll get you a diamond)?

coffee or tea?

one to five tropes they embody or could pull off in an AU.

[rellbot]

disgusting thing and animal death tw but

one thing i forgot about. cause im growing my hair out and its actually getting kinda long now. wtf do i do if my face is like 15cm from a dead dog like. my hair WILLtouch it. do i just try my best to be careful??? i 100% know it wont work cause. well i try to keep my lab coat out of the guts and it doesnt work so why would it work with another thing. how do i even google this. "how to keep your hair out of a dead dog"??????? is there a wikihow for that. its not a problem YET but it will be soon???? i have to ask people. how they do it. sigh.

[greetings-humans]

suo hayato - martial arts rant

(minor plot spoilers for up until episode 4/chapter 8)

(all the stuff here also otherwise spoil suo's fighting style which you first see at ep 5/ch11-12)

now do you see this? (from ep 5)

and this (chapter 12)

so I have some experience in martial arts, like im a black belt in zendo ryuu karate do (a decently niche style of karate and like I also did a bit of jiu-jitsu, tho no competitions for any of these) but anyways this feels wrong.

now I don't claim to know all there is about martial arts but um. given the power behind even the weakest of punches (and kanumo (the opponent) survived shishitouren during its extremist phase so he can't be that weak), putting your hand in front of an incoming fist is a recipe for disaster and so much pain. the same can be said for attempting to... grab (??) the fist from above with your palm and your extended fingers, like you can see in the panel.

my poor, abused, tendinitis-ridden arms feel the pain for you, suo, please stop it.

we know from the manga, that suo isn't one of the people with "monster strength" (and those people also shouldn't be doing moves like this but I'll assume that monster strength also comes with insane muscle support on their arms/forearms/hands and they're also not trained in martial arts so whatever. let them make their mistakes since it doesn't hurt them that much) because suo is never described as having "monster strength" so him doing this is just off.

but, dee, you might say, this is a fucking manga/anime about teenage gangsters were you expecting realism??

as of episode 5 / chapter 12 (?), suo has confirmed that he's dabbled in mixed martial arts. you cant have him making these sort of mistakes for the shits and giggles.

and these feel like a decently basic mistakes, too. i asked my brother his opinion on this as a blue-belt in karate and he agrees with me that suo is off here. i asked my bsf (who has like a yellow belt in taekwondo but hasn't practiced martial arts in like nearly a decade) on an opinion on people using their palm to block an incoming punch and he thought that's weird. I asked google and even fucking wikihow disagrees with the palm thing.

like. use your opponent's momentum against themselves yes. but also.

nowhere is there a mention of stopping the momentum with your palm. your fucking palm??? hello??? or stopping the momentum by grabbing the fist like that?? who grabs a fist from above😭😭 suo look at your goddamn wrist. joints are scared of you.

out of the top of my head, suo is in danger of breaking his fingers or spraining/breaking his wrist or fucking up his elbow, or some funky combination thereof. and he's also definitely getting in some sort of trouble with his tendon. but c'est la vie, ig.

and btw. he has pulled this off correctly a few times in the manga.

chapter 11

in the bottom right corner you see him deflecting properly and safely. and then rushing ahead to get out of Kanuma's range (wouldn't want a falling Kanuma to grab him on his way down lol). no clue what his left hand is doing tho. even if he was attempting to assume a ready stance. what the hell is his elbow doing that high? and why is his palm open and looking away from him? fuck if I know, this doesn't look like karate but there are like thousands of schools of karate with different variations so who knows. it's vaguely giving kung fu or jiu jitsu but take this with a grain of salt.

or this from chapter 68. also correct technique. don't come at me for spoilers btw, I've literally given you zero context.

tho to be fair, I'm a little confused as to the angle that he's hand is at? like it seems like his torso is in front of the punch (which vaguely makes sense because the other guy can presumably aim towards center mass aka torso), but like suo should already be moving his torso away so his arm shouldn't be reaching out from that angle. whatever. I'll forgive this. it's super minor.

10/10 for just grabbing the damn wrist instead of what he was doing before.

tho once again to be fair, I'm also a little confused about what his free hand is doing but whatever. and how did the other guy lose his balance? idk suo tagged at his punching arm hard ig. and giving the "whap" sfx then he might have somehow hit the other dude's leg? certainly not with his free hand cause given his stance, he's still not low enough to hit the foot or shin of the other guy (which is what the panel insinuates). unless he ducked? like crouched down while holding the dude's wrist and used his free hand to 'whap'? or maybe suo used his front leg? idk. whatever. still better than before.

nii satoru (the mangaka) so far seems great, because windbreaker has a nice plot and a fun, diverse cast of rather realistic teenagers (given the plot). he does seem to have a weakness when it comes to official martial arts styles, though, and that transferred towards the animation, as well.

hey wbk fandom give me your thoughts. idk if there are more ppl into wbk that also dabble(d) in martial arts but I'd love to hear your thoughts, especially!

[mouselobite]

The demons are winning against me. Why am I trying to make a PMV?? Did I not realize my brain cannot comprehend this yet??? No?? ok, we continue-

Exactly!!! The only Clan I have that made it past the 200 moon mark is my very first Clan that exists on the August 10th release download. It got to 1.2k moons. Never did that again lmao- Though, it's so fun to watch Clans struggle and to shove them into character arcs

Warriors neurodivergent brainrot is forever. None of us can escape it. Sorry, you don't like the newer books and the trash writing? No, you can't move on!!! You gotta MAKE IT FOR YOURSELF. Why??? Because it's here. It is immortal. Hnng- I love taking ClanGen ocs and smacking them with my brain to create totally polar things. I have several ClanGen ocs turned into Guardians of Ga'hoole and Wolves of the Beyond ocs which turned into its own universe. I went from pixel cats to owls and wolves to so many other animals. It's so fun

Hey, I'm WikiHow anon from this burning planet and you're not watching Disney Channel

NO I FEEL THIS!!!! i looked at my clangen ocs and went "maybe.... maybe I need to dust off sony vegas after all these years..." like please I dont even remember how it works!!! this is taking me back to my roots!!!

real!!!! like I have some that survived and ended up at like 300 moons but once the character(s) im focused on finish their arc im like "alright!!! new clan time!!!" i have so many clans and lore for them all

AND IT REALLY IS!!! everyone I know who was a warrior cat kid has yet to escape it even if they havent touched a book in years it changes your brain chemistry forever!!! nothing I can do now besides accept that warriors will always be in my brain!!! AND REAL!!!! my clangen ocs either stay clangen or end up as inspo for another random character!!! like please keep existing pixel cats youre so fun!!

[kintrash413]

my father died when I was young, and his father was too senile to give advice, so when it came to be my turn taking care of the snail I had little idea how.

at first, I tried just putting it under a glass bottle. it was immortal, so it wouldn't die of starvation, so so long as I put it high enough that the glass wouldn't get knocked over, it should be fine.

this idea lasted a matter of hours before I felt bad. what if I were immortal, and some being beyond my comprehension decided to let me starve in a small room?

so I went over to petstop and bought a glass snail terrarium of sorts. it was empty now, but I also bought lots of accessories that I thought an immortal snail might like.

when I parked in front of my house, I realized the front door was slightly ajar. I knew for a fact that I had closed it when I left, just as I knew in this gated community a burglary was unlikely.

slowly, I turned around, and my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach.

around my car tires, were shattered pieces of glass and shell.

I immediately backed up the car a few inches and ran back outside, already hyperventilating and panicking before I even saw the sorry state of my immortal pet.

its shell was gone, except for some sharp pieces that had stuck to its flesh. the snail itself still twitched, alive of course, but it was flat and bleeding.

I grabbed it and cried and ran back inside.

several youtube tutorials and wikihow articles later, I had the broken bits of shell extracted and the snail was already looking better. i placed it in the terrarium i bought, filling it with food laced with medicine.

I mustve stared at the snail, now more of a slug, for hours until finally it slithered forth and ate some of the food. I breathed a great sigh of relief.

"we're not off to a good start are we buddy?"

I 3D-printed a few shell designs I found online, and placed them all in its cage, waiting intently until it chose one. the rest I stored in case of another incident.

the next few months passed without issue. the snail healed and ate well.

I didn't work nor have much in the way of friends, so most of my hours were spent trying to keep the snail entertained. reading to it, watching TV with it, sometimes offering it food I cooked without worrying if such food was healthy. if it was going to live forever, it at least deserved delicious food.

the snail tried to escape a lot during those first few months. I learned quickly that putting the top back on was absolutely imperative.

a full year after my grandfather died I decided I was done grieving, and wanted to move from his house.

I sold the house for cheap- money was no objective after all- and moved several states over. the house I'd picked out had a decent few acres of land and was well isolated, surrounded by woods as it were.

I packed everything I wanted to keep. the back seat of my car was filled with clothes, stuffed animals, and blankets. the trunk held an air mattress and all of my carefully bubble-wrapped electronics.

food sat underneath the passengers seat, and books were stacked on top of the seat. on top of the books, i kept the snail's cage, high enough so it could see out the window. when immortal, did one still care to see such sights?

we spent a few days on the road, running out of food faster than I thought and surviving off of fast food.

I spent a lot of time thinking about immortality those few days. did the snail care when I offered it the best morsels of food if itd surely already eaten everything Earth had to offer? I knew my family history involved a lot of travelling, so did it even care when we passed through empty fields or big cities? had it seen it all already?

we slept in my car most of the time, I'd read aloud before passing out or just talk about any thought on my mind. but whenever I did find a hotel to stay in, I made sure to bring the snail with me.

I enjoyed snipping off bits of cloth and foam from pillows and sewing them together to make a snail-sized bed. the snail seemed to like it. did the immortal even need to sleep?

"we're home," I announced, excited and exhausted.

that first night, all I unpacked was my air mattress, a blanket, and the snails cage. we slept in the foyer, lacking the energy to even explore the house.

the next few weeks were unpacking and getting services in order. connecting the internet, changing my Amazon address, setting up a twice weekly maid service.

within a single month I'd unpacked everything, which honestly wasn't much. I still needed to go furniture shopping, but that could wait. today, was the real reason I wanted to move to the wood.

I opened the snails cage and stuck my hand inside. "cmon buddy, were going on an adventure."

once we were outside and covered by trees, I placed the snail on the grass and let it explore. I watched it for hours until it got dark and wondered if it was happy.

the first time the immortal man visited me, was a year after I'd moved in. I'd gotten around to purchasing some basic furniture, and the snail was rarely in his cage anymore. today, he was sat on my shoulder while I was sat on a beanbag and we were both watching TV.

the knock at the door couldn't have been anyone else.

unsure of the man's feelings on uncaged pets, I put the snail back in his terrarium for the moment while I opened the door.

"Hello, Booker," he greeted. he called everyone in my family by the same name, despite the fact that Booker hadn't been our last name in decades. "I noticed your card was only a few thousand short of running out." he then handed me a new card, which I took gingerly.

"do you... uh, wanna see the snail?"

"is it sufficiently caged?"

"yes?"

"then yes."

he admired the snail's cage for some time. "and youre certain the snail can't escape?"

I nodded, confident in this. "yeah, it hasn't escaped yet. plus the whole house is free of cracks or anything so even if it did..."

the man was nodding approvingly. finally, he stood back to his full height and met my eye. "you know, Booker, you are currently the last in your family. I do suggest you start cultivating a new one soon."

"oh- yeah, I guess..."

"it wasn't a suggestion." and then he left.

I slowly locked the door behind him, let the snail out again where it crawled on my arm, and downloaded a few dating apps.

getting dates was easy, having money made that part trivial. the main problem was when I brought them home and tried to express the importance of my pet snail. at that point, I was usually ghosted. and if not, they'd definitely leave when I tried to bring up the concept of immortality, no matter how casual I tried to make it.

it took a full decade before I met someone who took me seriously.

her name was Freya, and she called herself a witch. it seemed obvious, in hindsight, that I shouldve been looking in witch circles.

it's worth noting that I never shared much interest in romance or sex. even friends seemed difficult when my mind was always so occupied with the infinite. Freya was the first person who not only took the snail seriously, but also seemed to share my sentiments.

whenever she came over shed usually read in a separate room, and we'd take turns cooking meals. I'd never tell her, but I thought myself the better cook.

the next time the man came to my door Freya and her child had moved in. the child was being taught to be respectful of the snail. it seemed a miracle, but Freya had believed me about its immortality.

again, he brought me a new card, and again he asked to see the snail. he seemed pleased to see it still in its cage.

"hey, um..." I began awkwardly. to ask the man for something felt wrong, but Freya's child, Angel, had been pestering me about this. "does the snail have a... name?"

the man cracked a smile at that. "you wish to know this snail's history? tch, a rarity among Bookers."

the next day, a large dusty journal had been sent to my front door. Me, Freya, Angel, and the snail sat around the table and began to read it, for it was sent by the immortal man.

'hi. some time ago a man asked if I could care for his immortal pet snail in exchange for keeping me and my family wealthy. I thought he was crazy at the time but he's been paying up and it's been a few decades now so... I thought I'd write about the snail a bit.'

the snail, it seems, had been around since at least the 15th century. it went by many names, many pronouns, and been all over the world. a few different people had wrote in the journal, usually centuries apart.

"you should add something," Freya suggested.

I hesitate, looking at the snail. even though I knew, now, many of the names it had gone by... it seemed rude to give any immortal a name at all.

I took a deep breath, grabbed my pen, and started writing.

'my father died when I was young, and his father was too senile to give advice, so when it came to be my turn taking care of the snail I had little idea how...

at first, I tried just putting it under a glass bottle. it was immortal, so it wouldn't die of starvation, so so long as I put it high enough that the glass wouldn't get knocked over, it should be fine...'

Due to a pact between your family and an immortal businessman, the man keeps your family wealthy throughout the generations in exchange of safeguarding his immortal pet snail from escaping. You have just inherited the sole responsibility of being its guardian for the rest of your life.

[trickstermadness]

its so sad that despite Blue Period literally being about art and how it has an impact on people, both the creator and the viewer, the anime really just decided to not care about the visuals of some of the most important scenes.

[homeofhousechickens]

I would love to know about the blue color morph. Specifically why it's called blue.

I actually dont know why most gray color morphs are called blue. Some people think its a marketing thing if you call something a "grey dog" or a "grey chicken" an average layperson might think that means drab and not pretty but "Blue" sounds much better. Another theory is that some grey animals do look like a shade of blue when the light hits them just right and since i have def seen some grey animals look almost blue this is the one i personally believe

for example look at this Blue hen

then look at this wikihow image of the same bird above (lol) then compare the colors

to me its kind of easy to see how someone could perceive the grey as blue in the right lighting like the hen above in the coop while some more blue toned morning or evening light hits her

[eclipsedcrystalstar]

The brothers playing Minecraft sounds fun to m

Sun is absolutely the builder and loves making stunning builds, he's also crazy good at redstone and Moon fears him for that. How Sun can make iron farms and automatic item sorters is beyond him.

Moon is the miner, he'll explore caves and do a bunch of strip mining so he can be the richest one. His base is underground and Sun highly disapproves of how it looks because its just a disorganized mess consisting of only a few things: A supersmelter, built by poorly following a wikihow article because he refused to let Sun do it. 20 chests that have no organization singular blue bed crafting tables

Solar likes exploring a little too much, and always forgets to bring enough food. No animal that can drop meat is safe from his wrath. With the deep dark update Moon immediately called for him when he found an ancient city and Solar soon summoned a warden on accident.. whoops

[weirdlypersonalrpmemes]

sentence starters:  text posts from a generator i’ve bookmarked, part 4.   tw: injury, insects, unsanitary, some suggestive prompts.  

❝ i for one only care about taylor swift ❞

❝ im hiding in plants now because i fear the world and dont want to understand humans ❞

❝ today someone called me ugly and i was like well at least i avoid memes ❞

❝ welcome to the potion store. this potion allows you to experience bugs ❞

❝ ok but consider: trust everything good in the world ❞

❝ i love fish because they reject the agenda of the white house ❞

❝ is your bed made? is your sweater on? do you want to befriend goats ❞

❝ can we have an anime about girls who infiltrate video games ❞

❝ tfw you celebrate the moon ❞

❝ i hate civilization ❞

❝ it is not polite to cry over bugs ❞

❝ a bumper sticker that reads: honk if you support light yagami ❞

❝ im gay for anyone who can experience liberalism ❞

❝ i got banned from the neopets rp boards because i made my oc manipulate science ❞

❝ im not a person. im a bunch of legos and i admire aliens ❞

❝ i broke all my limbs trying to acquire mysterious unsourced meat ❞

❝ the goal: tolerate garbage? ❞

❝ (wearing a black and red corset with a black leather skirt and black fishnet stockings with combat boots) i believe in everything good in the world ❞

❝ aaa!! its time to try to cheer up by thinking about boys ❞

❝ i must fund shrek ❞

❝ i am writing a wikihow article about how to think deeply about heterosexuality ❞

❝ watch as i hide from werewolves ❞

❝ i love my cat even though she smells like pee and i know she doesnt kinkshame the president ❞

❝ reblog this if you support emos ❞

❝ my neopet would NEVER cuddle bronies ❞

❝ on my farm we will set fire to my problems ❞

❝ just dont illegally torrent my ass ❞

❝ aaa!! im late for my appointment to worship girls ❞

❝ never gonna give you up / never gonna let you down / never gonna fill the void left by fursonas ❞

❝ this post generator is alright i guess but if i could be doing anything right now i would rather avoid love ❞