#its just... very ???? to me that i might've enjoyed this show at one point.

[fiovske]

I watched mrs maisel s3 when it came out bc I anticipated it for a long time but it was pretty disappointing :( the writing went downhill and the story started just going in circles. Like i get the appeal of not having her success be linear but the self sabotage of it all isnt engaging or interesting it's just annoying..

I'm on e3 currently and the way she treats Susie is very ??? to me like damn let her start her business she barely makes any money at all she wasn't born w a fucking silver spoon in her mouth. I'm also kinda tired of the story being in love with her and framing it like she can never be in the wrong ever?? and her being selfish is cute?? her saying smth to Joel and him respecting those boundaries and her being mad about that is somehow supposed to make me feel sad for her?? like idk Joel has grown as a person but the story is really starting to slag.

and now we have Shy Baldwin and I have a feeling she is going to do something really weird to this black man idk I just. have a hunch she's gonna do something really fucking drastic and she's just not grown ONE BIT since the start bc the narrative is too in love w her to ever point out her flaws or even give her a character arc.

sorry I'm ranting I'm just. incredibly disappointed I think I really enjoyed it upto S2 back a couple of years ago and now I feel like I was either an idiot then for being excited abt this series or am an idiot now bc is this really the kind of writing that I like?? epic fail for me from two years ago that clown had terrible taste and I'm suffering for it.

[bloody-cupcakes]

Yandere/dark Tenth Doctor x reader; he helps you celebrate your birthday

Tw: yandere/dark content, soft yandere, threatened force feeding (it doesn't happen though), implied kidnapping/Stockholm syndrome, gender neutral reader, the Doctor uses affectionate pet names such as star, angel, and love, brief swearing, referenced past hypnotism/mind control

A/N: it's my birthday and I happen to share it with none other David Tennant himself so naturally I had to write something a little dark with the Tenth Doctor in order to celebrate 🥳🎈🎂

The bed dipped down beside you as you tried to play it off like you were still asleep. "Happy birthday, star," the Doctor softly cooed in your ear, gently shaking you as you laid there. Obviously he figured out you were faking. "It's time to get up so I can give you your gift."

You pressed your face closer into the pillow and let out a defiant huff. "I don't wanna," you whined quietly, almost too quiet for him to hear. As much as you might've enjoyed your birthday before, you'd recently been dreading its approach due to the circumstances you found yourself in.

Part of you had hoped that maybe he wouldn't remember, and then you could say you didn't remember either if it ever came up in further conversation, but unfortunately you had no such luck. You didn't even question how he knew it: at this point you didn't want to know where he got any additional information that you didn't willingly give up.

"I said, it's time to get up." His tone was a bit more forceful than before; it made you gulp nervously and sent shivers down your spine. "I don't want to have to repeat myself again, understood?"

"Yes, sir," you responded obediently, your voice sounding timid and meek as you slowly sat up in the bed. "I'm sorry." You stuck your bottom lip out and widened your eyes, trying to make yourself look as innocent and unsuspecting as possible, something you knew he always fell for.

"I guess I'm just a little upset that I won't be getting to spend today with my family." It could very well have been a bold faced lie, but he didn't need to know that. It wouldn't matter, anyway. You knew he wasn't going to take you back home, but at the very least you were hoping for some sympathy, which you got.

"Oh, angel..." His voice went back to its usual soft spoken tone as he pulled you onto his lap, his brow furrowed as his eyes filled with concern. "I know you miss them, love, but I can't take you back. You know that. Besides, this is your home now." He gestured to your room inside the TARDIS, one that he filled with items he'd taken from your old place.

Against your better judgement, you cuddled up close to him on his lap, nuzzling your face into the side of his neck. You inhaled the scent of his aftershave, something that you thought you'd always hate when he first took you. Now, though, it provided you some much needed comfort whenever you were feeling down.

"I'm going to go get your gift, okay? I'll be right back." You made a soft noise of protest as he slipped you off his lap and back onto the bed, watching as he got up and left the room. Pouting, you crossed your arms and just sat there, waiting for him to return.

The Doctor soon returned, carrying a plate with a large slice of birthday cake on it. He chuckled upon seeing the grouchy look on your face. "I told you I'd be right back." He walked over and took a seat back on the bed, setting the plate down in front of you. "Boy, you must've missed me an awful lot, hm?"

You stuck your tongue out to show you didn't appreciate his teasing. "Careful, otherwise your face is going to freeze like that." He picked up the fork and stuck it in the slice of cake, breaking off a piece before holding it up. "Look, I got your favorite."

Knowing exactly what he wanted, you kept your mouth shut, refusing to eat the piece of cake on front of you. If you were in a better mood, then maybe you'd be fine with it. After all, you'd grown used to him feeding you, even if it was a tad bit degrading.

But today was just not the day for all of that. You couldn't be sure exactly what time it was, as there wasn't a clock in your room, but you were fairly certain he'd woken you up just past midnight . Honestly, the nerve to not even let you sleep on on your own birthday.

"I don't want any. I'm not hungry," you mumbled as you looked down, not feeling brave enough to meet his gaze, even if you were openly defying him by refusing the "gift" he'd gotten you.

"Very funny, star. I woke you up early, so now you're going to be a brat and refuse to eat your cake," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at you. "Look, would you just eat it? It's only one slice, love, c'mon now."

"No. I said I don't want to," you blurted out in frustration, glaring at him. The moment his eyes darkened, you felt your blood run cold, realizing you'd made a mistake. "I- I'm sorry, I'm just a little tired-"

Your poorly made excuses were cut off quickly by the Doctor's harsh tone. "I don't care how tired you are, do you hear me? We are going to sit here until you eat every damn bite, if I have to force it down your throat."

A loud whimper of fear escaped you at his scolding tone, causing him to let out a sigh as he recognized he'd gone a bit too far. "Love, I'm sorry, alright? I didn't mean to be so rough sounding with you," he gently reassured you as he shifted closer to you on the bed.

Deciding it wasn't worth it to fight him (despite how much you really didn't want to be held), you allowed him to pull you onto his lap for a second time. "I'm sorry, angel. I didn't mean to upset you in that way," he spoke in a low and soothing voice while wrapping his arms around you.

"You were mean," you choked out as your eyes began to fill with tears. Although it was ridiculous to believe, especially with no proof, you always thought he'd done something that made you much more emotional and sensitive than you used to be, just so he could have the chance to comfort you.

(Technically your suspicions weren't all that far off, as he'd asked a favor from his best enemy back when he first took you. He figured that maybe if you were more docile and submissive it'd be easier to make you stay with him, so he convinced the Master to hypnotize you in an effort to change the chemistry of your brain and make it so you'd be dependent fully on him. Of course, you didn't know any of this, though it wouldn't have surprised you even if you did.)

"I know I was, love, and I'm sorry." He reached over and moved the plate, resting it on your thigh as he picked up the fork again. "Just eat this, then you can go back to bed, okay? I promise." The offer was certainly tempting, and the cake didn't actually look (or smell) that bad.

"Okay," you sniffled in a small voice, opening your mouth just enough for him to stick the fork in. The taste of the buttercream frosting hit your tongue first, the silky smooth texture followed by the fluffiness of the cake. The Doctor smiled in delight as he watched you eat it.

"Good, good. There you go, see? I knew you'd like it." He broke off another piece from the slice and held it up to your mouth again, feeding you in almost the same manner a mother would to her child. "You're doing so well for me, star, I'm so proud of you."

You felt your face heat up in a blush at his praise, humming happily as you continued to eat. His words of encouragement pushed you to keep eating, even if you weren't really that hungry to begin with. A full belly and an empty plate later, you were finally done, licking your lips clean of icing.

"See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?" He placed the fork on the plate and set them both down on the bedside table. "Did you enjoy your gift, star, hm? I thought you might like it, seeing as that's your favorite."

As you were still savoring the final bites of the slice of cake, you nodded your head eagerly. He grinned in response, glad to know you'd liked it. "Good, I'm glad." Noticing there was some icing smeared on your upper lip, he leaned in and dragged his tongue across it suddenly, an action that left you both shocked and flustered.

Laughing at your reaction, he gave your lips a quick kiss before saying in a low and suggestive voice, "I'm sorry, angel, I just couldn't resist. You looked too sweet not to taste for myself."

Too embarrassed to say anything, you turned and buried your face into his chest, which only caused him to laugh harder. "Oh, star, you're always so easy to tease." He ran his hand up and down your back in a comforting fashion, smirking playfully.

A soft yawn could be heard coming from you as drowsiness started to overcome you. "I'm really tired, can I go back to sleep now?" You asked in a sleepy mumble, looking up at him with eyes that were droopy as an effect of being woken up in the middle of the night.

"Of course you can, love. I won't keep you awake any longer." He pulled the covers over top of you before flicking off the lamp beside the bed. Pressing a loving kiss to your head, you could hear him faintly murmur just before you drifted off to sleep: "happy birthday".

[machiten]

thats my seat!

academic rival scaramouche x gn!reader headcanons

warnings: scaramouche(bro is a whole warning), foul language(it's scaramouche we're talking about here so), reader is mentioned to have bad eyesight, fights, angst, academic validation, bad parenting

barely proofread lmao im tired, it's 3:15 am and im starving. there will be a chapter 2 ofc i just wanted to post something goddamn my blog has been empty for so long (4 days) didn't have a way to keep track of the word count but it's kinda long. anyways hope u enjoy!!

oh god

when i say rival, i mean full on brawls on the school hallway

so let's say you've been top of your school since day one. your name has always been at the top of the score board every exam, always class representative, and well known as a smart kid ever since you steped on school premises.

you work hard to keep your grades up, your parents pay enough attention to your succesful brother and none for you

having a successful brother plants high expectations on you. i mean, he did very well, so why cant you? you both have the same blood running through your veins. your parent's praise, that is all you've ever wanted. and yet you're not even informed if there's a family outing, leaving you in your house alone

it has been like that for years

not until one day, you enter into the classroom and someone else is sitting in your chair. someone unfamiliar is sitting on your chair.

"hey, excuse me. i sit there." you pointed at what is supposed to be, your chair. "what, i dont see any names on it." Ok, what. when you finally look up to the culprit, my goodness. Fierce purple eyes that looks like it holds the entire universe, his skin as fair as a maiden, lips plum as a springs fruit, a beauty mark at the underside of his right eye, and his hair a unique color of indigo that is cut in a weird jellyfish-ish hairstyle. while yes, he looks ethereal, not gonna lie (if he had longer hair you might've mistaken him as a girl) his personality certainly does not match his elegance. an annoyed look currently adorned his face, as if you disturbed his peace.

"done checking me out? i know im hot, i get that look everyday so dont ever think you're special." and now it changed into a cocky smirk. the nerve! not only is he sitting on someone else's chair but it seems like his head is getting bigger too. "well excuse me, i havent seen your around school until today so im guessing that you're the transfer student our teacher talked about last week. but do you mind finding a new spot, i sit there." you glared at him.

"no i like it here. here's a better idea, why don't you find a new spot. im the new student here, show some courtesy."

"no- what, go away thats my seat!"

"alright everyone, settle down- oh, i see that the new student is here already," the teacher finally came in the classroom, cup of steaming hot coffee in his hand. Everyone sat down on their seats while you are still standing up waiting for this person to look for another seat. Lmao guess what, he didnt move.

"(name), c'mon sit down. i know getting a new friend is exiting but we have to greet the new student properly. now go find your seat."

"wait but sir--"

"sit down, (name)"

"yeah that's right (name), sit down" a voice beside you spoke. you looked over to the new student adorning a triumphant grin at your loss. and so you are now forced to sit at the back, barely seeing what's in front because of your poor eyesight, and wearing a vengeful spirit.

epic first meeting

the seats in the back are okay, its breezy and you now sit next to xiao (his music taste is so good) but yeah, you cant really see the board clearly so you get notes from mona at the front

at first, it was a one sided rivalry. how hated how rude and bratty he was and at that time, he didnt seem too care (like he get those everyday). but then he started fighting back and oh boy he hasn't had this much fun in years!

the way you retort back to his harsh words is so amusing to him. usually, no one would dare talk to him in a degrading manner but then you came into his life, claiming that he's sitting on your chair, and it was never the same ever again.

now, he looks forward to everyday. he rises up earlier so that he can sit at your chair first, he keeps looking at the classroom door everytime someone enters (in case it's you so that he can give that shit eating grin), he loves how your face gets messed up when he wins an argument, he loves how small your hands are compared to his when you have a brawl in the hallways, and most of all, he loves it when you give him the shit eating grin when you win something (he says he let's you win sometimes because he pitied you, but is it really?)

to him, this is fun, amusing, entertaining. but to you? you've never felt this much hate in a human being, ever.

scaramouche is smart as fuck and he demonstrated that loud and clear

he aced the math test that the teacher gave that wasn't even taught to him

in presentations, he speaks loud and clear and you can really understand the point he's making

he doesn't really like group works (you noticed) but if he was put in a group, he does most of the job flawlessly

sports? oh of course. he's really good at baseball (pitcher). he's also good at other sports but not as good as baseball

oh and pray that you don't get him as your opponent in debates, you will be grilled like a brisket

did i mention he sleeps in like 70% of his classes? it's not like the teachers can do anything about it. he excels in everything, at least let him sleep as a gift

the only times he would be awake is when he pulls on your strings

but of course, you're also good in all of these, that's why you both are rivals

you fight almost everyday for the top spot (and for your original seat) to the point where its a daily routine to everyone else to see you both pinching and arguing in the classroom

He doesn't have any close friends (ahem childeahem) and it's either bc ppl are intimidated by him or he just doesnt give a fuck about friends

maintaining grades is one thing, winning against him is another

you are very intellegent, yes, but you work very hard for your grades every night. losing sleep studying for upcoming quizes and making sure your projects are perfect. unlike him who doesnt even try

you havent seen him study once

and it makes you see yourself lower. you're both equally in par with your grades but thats when he doesn't even try. what happens when he takes everything seriously? what if he studies as hard as you do? where will you stand then?

but when you got 2nd place for the 3rd time this year, he took it too far

"what the hell?! this is the third time!" you looked at the results in the bulletin board expecting to see your name in first place. you studied hard, right? so then why,,,

"oh oops, looks like i did a little too well again this time. aw and i didn't even answer some of the questions because i felt bad for beating you the last two times." a snicker is heard behind you and sure enough, piercing indigo eyes is looking at yours in pure pity. "thanks i guess. are you happy now? that's three times in a row!" aether beside you is now having a deadpan expression, expecting the worst. 'alright here we go again'.

"oh yes very, you know what makes me even happier? your declaration that you're inferior to me. why do you even try anyways, it's clear to everyone that im better. you're just wasting your time burying your head in your books and notes when we both already know who's coming at the top. imagine not meeting your parent's expectations." he's now looking down on you, beating you up with words that you know damn well are true. but that doesn't mean you're not gonna fight back.

"what."

"oh you know, maybe if you tried harder, the cost of your education might be worth it for your parents. honestly, if i we're them id--"

before he could finish his sentence, a loud echoing smack is heard all across the hallway, making everyone's attention turn to the commotion. scaramouche head is now turned the other way, his cheeks beginning to flare from the hit as he glared at the culprit, you. "you motherfucking bitc-!" you tackled him and due to surprise, he fell back. aether is now alert, shouting your name trying to get you to your senses.

you gripped scramouche's collar, rasing his head from the floor and slamming it back down. "you're an asshole, you know that?! i try my best everyday and this is what i get?!!" he fights back, hand on your arm that's trying to get a hold of his hair and another on your neck, holding back your weight.

"you don't know what it's like!! you will never know what it's like being compared to your brother everytime they get a chance!! you dont know what it's like going home to nothing but words of disappointment when you did everything you can to get their approval!! you will never know what it's like for your efforts to go to waste!! you will never know the feeling of being kicked out of your own home and live in a run down apartment!! i work day and night, i lose sleep everyday, i barely have anything for myself to live, and now i have to deal with your ass every single day too?!!"

"(name)! calm down, hey-!"

"fuck off aether!"

every word you spat pricked scaramouche's heart and made him struggle from your assaults. this isn't fun anymore. he knew a bit of your situation, kazuha told him. but he never knew it was this bad. all he knew is about your parent's expectations. he didn't even attempt to fight back this time and just defends himself from your blows. 'shit, i took it too far.'

"you dont have to remind me of my incompetence! i already know, i know damn well i will never be enough!! you're right, why do i even try, right?! you're so fucking annoying, doing everything so effortlessly, like school is a nuisance!! can't i take a fucking break?!!" at this point, you cannot control your tears from falling into his cheeks, rolling down his porcelain skin.

"what are you--?!"

"why can't i be a genius like you?! why dont i have everything that you have?!! i did everything i can, what am i doing wrong?!" you are now saying intangible words that no one can decipher because of the mess of emotions you are feeling at that moment. you're about to deliver another blow when someone held you back.

"(name)! you're doing too much! thats enough!!" goddamn she is stronger than i thought, scaramouche deals with this everyday?? aether pulled you away from the tangled mess that you and scaramouche managed to create. you're struggling his hold but after a bit, you slumped down having no more strength to keep going, sobbing quietly. "...(name)?" aether said.

"...i am so tired of everything, why do i even keep trying. i.. i just want to make my parents proud..." sniffles could be heard from where you are being held my aether's arms. aether supported you from the groud and led you away from the scene and the prying eyes of other students. before you both can disappear completely, aether turned around and gave scaramouche a threatening glare. "i know you both bicker a lot but you took it too far. you are an asshole and you better change that attitude of yours or i will send you home even worse than your condition right now." and you both are gone.

scaramouche is still sitting on the floor, his arm supporting his weight, bruises are forming in his skin while he's craddling his cheek that is now very noticeably red and flaring from the slap you served him earlier. he doesn't know how to act, really. should he apologize? should he just walk away and like nothing happened? should he report you for physical abuse? he didn't know anything.

what he does know though is that he fucked up, big time. he knows that you'll never want to see his face ever again, he knows that nothing will be the same again, and he knows thag the feelings he has will never be reciprocated, after what he's done.

he actually just found out recently, when someone from the other class was making fun of you and he didn't like it one bit, he's the only one allowed to make fun of you, everyone back off. scaramouche can see the crowd dissipating, no longer interested since the main action is gone. he sat there on the floor the whole time, rethinking his life choices, wondering if he said things differently instead of those. would he be seeing you tomorrow? will you still argue with him about nonsensical bullshit? can he still hold your hand whenever you pinch him?

he heard footsteps and before he can look up, someone had smacked him in the head.

"what the fuck-!!"

"i want to say 'are you okay', but to be honest you kinda deserved that." a mop of ginger can bee seen hanging from someone's head.

"fuck off childe, and why did you smack me?!"

"because you deserve it. but y'know, it's nice having front row seats seeing you ruin your life because of that toungue of yours. aether's right you're an ass." he helped scaramouche from the floor, dusting his uniform from the filth. "ill take you to the infirmary." scaramouche can only nod, feeling lethargic after all that energy spent.

he hopes to see you the next day, acting like nothing ever happened.

part 2

[thirstnotes]

|Rivals To Lovers - Clark Kent - Part Six - Sassy Clark|

Pairings: Clark Kent x AFABBlackPlusSizedReader

Warnings: possessive Clark, Clark Kent in love, language, more smut eventually, minors DNI, Stalker Clark, two cuties flirtin, morally gray Clark, dark Bruce, typos, weak writing tbh but it is what it is

Okay, ya'll, we're almost there. I know I'm taking longer than Dragonball Z to reach this damn conclusion, and I'm sorry for the wait lol. But I'm very grateful to ya'll for liking it so much. It makes me so happy to know my writing brings ya'll some form of joy. Thanks to @ysmmsy for the reblogs and recs, @ramp-it-up for answering the ask that led to this series, and to my community of color who really deserve more representation in stories. Bc we deserve to be loved on by our favorite characters too. Anyway, enjoy.

As always, if you don't enjoy it, don't read it.

"Was that really necessary?" Bruce asked, sipping a bit of Cognac.

Clark landed quietly, his eyes lingering on the glass in his hand. Bruce didn't even turn his head to address him, more focused on the skyline of the city.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing," Clark said finally, his arms folded. Bruce tilted his head a bit, smirk in place.

"So she is special to you. Well. Things certainly took a refreshing turn. I thought you'd be obsessed with Red forever."

"What's it matter to you?"

"Overall, it doesn't. But clearly it does to you, or else you wouldn't be abusing your powers like this. Which does present its advantages."

"That was hardly abuse," Clark breathed with a dangerous laugh. His eyes flashed a small, red beam and Bruce's glass shattered in his hand. "See, now that. That's abusing my powers."

Bruce was undeterred, instead giving his hand a small shake before sliding it into his pocket. He turned to face him, a mildly annoyed look on his face.

"You're clearly here to say something. I suggest you say it before I lose my patience."

"You should already know this, but in case your I.Q. suddenly dove a couple hundred points: Y/N is not your plaything."

"As evident by your tantrum, she seems to be your toy. Of course."

"She's not anyone's toy," he seethed, his eyes icy and dark. Threatening to flash again at any moment's notice. Bruce countered with a steely stare of his own.

"Oh yes, she's your 'fake girlfriend', right? I hardly see how that's different. She seems to likes me and, to tell you the truth, I happen to find her very attractive. Which, after tonight, is entirely apparent to her. So. If anyone's playing games, it's definitely you."

Clark's eyes narrowed dangerously at him, but he couldn't refute his claims. After all, it was his idea in the first place to use you to get to someone else. Granted it was consensual, it was still pretty calloused to you. Especially since your only consolation was showing up an asshole that dumped you. He hadn't appreciated you nearly as much as you deserved to be, but it still didn't sit right with him that Bruce was the one to point it out.

Bruce's arms folded and he stepped even closer, despite the severely pissed Kryptonian just at an arm's reach.

"Here's how this'll go. I'm going to continue seeing Y/N as long as she'll allow. Or at least until you plan to take me up on my offer."

Of course.

His eyes rolled to the skyline. "I might've thought you'd circle back around to that."

Bruce smirked at his hesitation. "It's merely a small favor."

"I'm not some cold blooded killer."

"Right. Of course. You draw the line at criminal arson.”

Clark dipped his head with a bitter laugh and left him standing there, opting to walk away. Bruce watched him, his smirk still fixed in place.

Clark hated himself for thinking about taking him up on his offer

Jokes aside, nowadays, Bruce was practically mafia with the measures he took to "exact justice", but Clark was doing his best to keep from working closely with him.

Besides

You were no bargaining chip

But there was something tantalizing about Bruce’s offer to leave you alone indefinitely

I mean

All he needed to do was off a couple of assholes and he could have you all to himself

It sounded pretty fuckin sweet

The men Bruce wanted dead were bad guys

...Was he seriously considering killing for you?

He landed across from your building again, watching you sleep peacefully on your couch. Probably passed out after a shower. He smiled a bit, pulling his phone from his pocket to type.

We need to talk

He took a deep breath and scrolled through his contacts, his eyes resting on Bruce's number.

His notifications popped down.

About?

His eyes flickered to your apartment and he saw you typing on your phone.

You already thinking about dumping me just before class? That's just cold

His lips twitched into another smile.

It's late. Why are you still up?

Why are you?

I'm barely awake

So you decided to text me?

Yes

He saw your body shake with a small laugh and he rolled his eyes with a smirk.

This talk must be important if you woke up from a dead sleep to text me. Don't tell me. You couldn’t stand to lie to me anymore and you need to tell me that you really are Superman

He laughed, eyes rolling to the side before he replied.

Yes

You let out a small laugh.

Are you drunk texting me again?

He slipped his phone into his pocket, sitting on the edge, watching you drift to sleep waiting for him to reply. You probably thought he'd drifted back to sleep. Possibly drunk. Thinking he was Superman.

You're gonna find out just how accurate you were

The next morning, you decided to surprise him for once

Heading to his apartment with a box of donuts and a black coffee

Something he'd probably be grateful for after the sun hit his hungover eyes

After a rather exciting date with Bruce Wayne, a fire scare, and yet another drunk text from Clark, it'd seem like you needed a strong drink and all the sleep you could manage

But instead, you were, pulling up to the curb in front of his building

Completely surprised to see him waiting there for you

He climbed in, setting his messenger bag on the floor and buckling in before finally addressing your curious stare with his usual irritating smirk.

"What? Good morning?"

"What, are you psychic now, Superman?"

He furrowed his brows at you.

"What?"

You rolled your eyes with a laugh. "You drunk texted me again last night."

"Did I?" he asked, eyes focused on the view passing his window. You gave him a sour look.

"Yeah. At like one in the morning. I thought you were gonna be hungover out of your mind. So I decided to bring coffee and donuts and give you a lift to work, because I felt sorry for you. But I guess I'll just keep them."

"You don't even drink black coffee."

"I can doctor on it."

"No takebacks," he sneered, taking the cup from the holder, taking a petty sip from it. You laughed and rolled your eyes again.

"Petty."

He grinned at you over the brim of his cup. Then it was quiet.

The ride had stayed quiet for a while, with Clark looking out the window most of the way.

You both heard your phone vibrate a few times, but because of your strict no texting while driving policy, you didn't touch it

But you had to wonder

Was it Bruce?

He had texted that he wanted to see you again, minutes before Clark had texted you last night

Which made you feel a little like a cheating trollop

Even if you weren't Clark's actual girlfriend

But still, it felt greedy to have your cake and get eaten too

Another buzz from your purse made you hazard a glance his way, but he seemed kind of preoccupied

What was he thinking?

It made you a little antsy to see him so deep in thought

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you so quiet. What's up?"

"Actually, I think you're the talker in this relationship?" he sassed back, raising a brow at you. You laughed.

"Okay. Rude, but fair enough. Anyway. What's on your mind? You okay?"

"Just fine."

His short answer bothered you a bit and you chewed your bottom lip through another quiet pause. His eyes flickered to you and he took a small breath.

"I'm curious. How'd your date with Bruce go?"

It was your turn to get quiet, your eyes drifting his way before landing back on the road. The cheating girlfriend vibe intensified, but you were too proud to ask him if he was jealous just yet.

“It went like any other dinner date, really.”

He resisted the urge to give you a look. Somehow, he didn’t believe you ended all your dates in a hotel room. It was even less likely that you had to cancel every booty call because of a fire scare.

“I see.”

You gave him a look. “What? Did you think he was really gonna whisk me off to Prague?”

“I didn’t know what to think, to be honest. It’s Bruce,” he volleyed, eyes rolling to you. You eyed him, smile fighting it’s way to your face. Just then, your mind obviously jumped to what really happened that night, but you rolled your eyes and laughed it off.

“He was a perfect gentleman.”

“Wonders never cease,” he drawled sarcastically, focusing his attention back to the view outside his window.

"I-Listen," you laughed, rolling your eyes again.

"Mmhm," he hummed, relishing the way his sarcasm made you squirm.

"He was excellent. That's all you need to know," you said simply. His eyes flickered to you when you weren't looking, his smile fading. You looked so content. Not sprung, like one is after a night of bliss with somebody they think is "the one", but definitely like it wasn't the last you'd be seeing of him.

The office was bustling more than usual

Everybody greeting you with smirks and grins

Because of the state of your desk, which was surrounded by flowers

"Wow," you breathed, moving a basket aside to actually see the wood of your desk. Luke slipped to your side with a whistle.

“Guess you left quite an impression on Wayne.”

Thankfully both you and the dumb photographer missed the chilling leer that Clark gave him.

You rolled your eyes. “He’s just a nice guy.”

Luke looked from you to Clark with a good natured laugh. “I’m jealous of your ability to always stay calm, Kent. How are you not freaking out about this?”

“I happen to trust my girlfriend,” Clark said as though it were common sense. Which it was.

“You’re a better man than I am,” Luke shrugged with a laugh.

“That’s why she picked me,” Clark sniped, returning his good natured laugh with a poisonous one of his own. Luke’s smile faded a bit when he processed his words. You rolled your lips to keep from cackling and gave your attention to Lois, who approached you all.

She stepped around the two of them to hand you an engraved envelope with a sympathetic smirk. “I tried to text you before you got here. But I guess you were gonna find out one way or another.”

“Yeah, thanks for trying though,” you breathed with a sarcastic laugh, your eyes flickering to Clark briefly before setting them aside. Her smirk died a bit and she looked between you as well, as if just remembering your relationship.

"Of course, it's probably a normal good will gesture."

"Just rich dudes being rich dudes," you joked along, your eyes lowering to the envelope in your hand. As did his.

Free this weekend? No distractions this time. I promise.

Along with two plane tickets. To Prague. Fuckin Bruce.

However, you bit the corner of your lip and decided not to open it there. It made him a little curious, but he was pretty grateful you didn't. His eyes rolled from the card to the work on his desk while Lois looked between the two of you again and cleared her throat.

"Well. Anyway, I'll see you in class."

"Yeah, definitely," you said, setting it aside, waiting for Lois to go back to whatever she was doing before cutting your eyes at Clark. He could almost sense your anxiety and threw a smirk your way to ease your mind.

"Quite the impression," he snickered and you stuck your tongue out at him.

"Shut up."

-

The ride to class was even quieter than the ride to work. You found it hard to focus with the smell of several baskets of flowers in your backseat. You glanced over at Clark, who was scrolling through his phone. 

"What?" he asked, eyes still on his screen.

"Why don't you like Bruce anyway?"

He paused and looked up at the road. "I told you. He's obnoxious."

"That's all," you said, though it sounded more like an inquiry and he looked at you.

"What do you expect to hear?"

The light turned green and you pretended to be completely focused on the road. 

"Nothing. I dunno. Just. You seem kinda jealous."

He tilted his head with a smirk. "Of you and Bruce? Maybe."

You didn't know how to unpack that. Was he saying he was jealous of the potential "relationship" you and Bruce had, or that he was jealous of Bruce potentially having you? It made you dizzy.

"Well I mean, there is no me and Bruce. It was just a date. So we're in the same boat, buddy," you joked and he breathed a laugh. 

"Anyway, what exactly happens in this class?"

It was a blunt transition you were thankful for. You shrugged. "It's no big deal. The class'll be a breeze, I think the biggest challenge is navigating the gossip when I show up with a new man while my 'ex' is still in the same class. Just. Follow my lead, honestly."

"Fair enough."

He didn't say anything more, his eyes rolling back to the opposite side of the dash. You frowned a bit, but you let him get back to his own thoughts. Eventually you pulled into the park and unbuckled your seatbelt.

"Y/N," he said suddenly and it made you jump.

"Yeah?"

His warm lips captured yours with a soft, firm kiss, tongue darting between your lips to invite yours out to play. You indulged him, tangling your tongue with his, shifting a bit to have better access. Your body melted when he held your waist to keep you steady, the yummy weight of his hand keeping you from climbing onto him in the passenger's seat. You moaned a bit when he sucked on your tongue as he pulled back. It was a shorter kiss than you'd realized. Much too short.

"What was that?" you breathed, head in a fog.

"Chemistry," he said, his thumb running over the corner of your bottom lip gently, brushing away any traces of him. "I can't go a whole three hours without kissing my girlfriend."

"Right," you agreed airily, getting out the car, "Chemistry."

(Part 7)

(Part 5)

[shoechoe]

Donatella and Diavolo for the ask game? (And maybe Squatizi? 🦈)

For Squatizi- I remember the mix of surprise and excitement I felt when I saw the two of them on my first watch of VA. At that point, I had kind of just assumed that Jojo had no actually on-screen LGBT+ characters (The only canonical non-cishet at that point was DIO, whose bisexuality was only confirmed by Araki and is never actually stated or shown in the work) and was simply popular with the community due to its general nature (which does appeal to a lot of gay subcultures and tastes in that way). The notorious Bury-Your-Gays moment with Sorbet and Gelato didn't help either.

So, when Tiziano and Squalo showed up, going so far as to fondle each other on-screen, I just went "holy shit". These two are actually gay? And we get to see it? Honestly, I cared less about the fight in that arc and was just interested in seeing what would be done with those two- I suppose it wasn't explicitly stated they were together, but the on-screen groping was kind of enough to tip you off. Just for that reason, I do have a fondness for them, and I do understand why people love them and mess around with them so much in fanon.

Though, while the novelty of an actual gay couple in Jojo excites me alone, much of their writing still frustrates me and they were far from what I'd consider "good representation". They had very little screentime and were really less two individual characters and more just two halves of one whole. The fight itself was underwhelming (which you articulated perfectly in a previous post of yours) and Squalo dying almost instantly after Tiziano instead of putting up any sort of fight after his mantra of revenge was disappointing. While "good representation" is not exactly my expectation knowing... the way Jojo is, it was still annoying.

I do like them and enjoy how people take their characters and expand upon the underwhelming amount that canon gives. They're not my favorite couple and I don't talk about them a lot, but I certainly favor the pairing and see why people focus on them so much.

As for Diavolo and Donatella: As you might've guessed, I have many thoughts about the two of them. I don't know how long this is going to be, so I'll put this under a cut.

I would not say I think about Donatella and Diavolo as a pairing in a particularly "shippy" way. In a lot of ways, I don't even really see them as a romance. They only interacted for an extremely short period of time, at about a few weeks maximum, and despite apparently growing attached enough to sleep together, they barely found out anything about each other and Diavolo abandoned her without so much as giving her his name.

I find Donatella incredibly interesting (and frustrating) to think about just for that reason. Diavolo is obviously extremely avoidant of people and has been so for his entire life, using aliases since he was young, killing his mother and burying her under his house's floorboards, and then killing his adoptive father and burning down his town when he found out. In all other ways, he shows dangerous precision, determination, and intelligence when it comes to erasing himself from the world.

So, on one hand, Donatella is a really interesting deviance in his behavior and a representation of the moral of Diavolo's character. Connecting and being known by other people is simply a part of being human; Diavolo tries his hardest to scrub every trace of his existence away and isolate himself in the search of evading the inevitable pitfalls of being human, but this is an impossible task. Even one little connection from years ago- in this case, a brief fling- spiralled into an unignorable marker of his existence, and that led to his downfall.

For anyone else, a brief date as a teenager would hardly be anything remarkable or consequential, but for Diavolo, his goal to erase himself completely just multiplies the consequences of any and all relationships he's had. What would likely be a connection anyone else would overlook is instead the main reason for the fall of Diavolo's empire. (You also have the fact that Diavolo was apparently irresponsible enough to get Donatella pregnant, which could say something about how Diavolo's avoidance of relationships makes him act haphazardly and make big mistakes in the relationships he did have.)

However, at the same time, Donatella is... odd to think about (and I believe this is also part of why she's talked about as little as possible in the story). It's very hard for me to imagine Diavolo, someone shown to be secretive since he was very young, having a fling with a random girl out of nowhere. Sure, him having a relationship could work, but a seemingly random brief date leading to an accident-baby just seems off and hard to imagine considering everything else we know about him. Believably expanding upon the idea with more detail while keeping Diavolo in character sounds rather difficult, which is why I think Vento Aureo just doesn't bother doing it. (Also, why would someone date and then sleep with a guy whose name they don't even know?)

Not to mention, throughout the entire story, in all of Diavolo's spiels about how the past is coming back to haunt him, I do not believe he ever even says Donatella's name. Trish only mentions her once when prompted in the Notorious B.I.G. arc, and the only information she gives about her father are the basic facts that he was Sardinian and briefly dated her mother as a teenager. We learn essentially nothing about the relationship that these two had to Donatella, and that's a big problem.

Diavolo is at least built to be mysterious, but Trish... isn't. Could she not have asked Donatella about what her father was like personality-wise during any point in her life? Did she have no opinion on what she was like as a mother? Did she garner no opinion on her father before it was revealed he was a crime boss?

While I can speculate, it's obvious to me that Donatella pretty much only exists in the story as a plot reason why Diavolo has a daughter and not much thought was put into her or this detail of Diavolo's past beyond that. I think it's equally hard for others to envision this, which is part of the reason why the misconception of Trish actually being Doppio's daughter is a thing; the anime even plays into this by expanding on their backstory to have Doppio be the one to meet Donatella instead.

However, as I've said before, we know that this isn't true and this anime addition is in fact kind of a plot hole. We see that Doppio doesn't recognize Donatella, being unreactive when holding a picture of her in both the manga and anime and laughing at the concept of having a daughter or a girlfriend.

This anime change is especially irritating considering the fact that there are other implications in how Donatella apparently knew Diavolo and not Doppio. According to their backstory in the manga, the described personality that their adoptive father and village came to know them as is "cowardly and clumsy, yet open-hearted"- describing Doppio to a T.

For clarification, the manga goes on to state that in the Jojo universe, people with DID have alters that are fully present since adolescence.

This suggests that both Diavolo and Doppio were around since early childhood, but the village people and his father only knew Doppio- which makes sense, because knowing Diavolo, he would probably keep to himself. So, then, the fact that Donatella apparently knew Diavolo and Doppio doesn't even recognize her would say something really interesting about their relationship alone; what made Diavolo comfortable enough to show himself to her? What prompted him to go out and meet her in the first place?

Also, this may be a bit of a tangent, but I really dislike how they attempt to characterize Donatella in the anime. Her dialogue comes across as extremely stilted and odd, which makes sense, considering it's just her repeating the list of Trish's interests in the manga. (Literally- rewatch the scene and compare it to the page.)

Unlike Trish, she gets no characterization beyond this "I love sparkling water and I hate smelly men and anything that isn't beautiful" spiel- honestly, she somehow comes off as more shallowly written than the grand total of zero lines she got in the manga... but I digress.

Diavolo and Donatella are really interesting to me, but the information we get about them in canon is almost less than bare-bones, which I find to be one of the major flaws in the story. (Seriously, Jojo's creation of really interesting implications about characters and then simply refusing to do anything with them is one of its most annoying tendencies, and it especially shows with Diavolo.) I do enjoy people attempting to expand upon them in fanworks with the very little we get, but I don't know if I'd call that "shipping"; just expanding upon a hinted relationship. All in all, it's a pairing with a lot of food for thought.

[visualtaehyun]

BL/QL Ask game : The Ugly, the Bad and the Worst

Thank you for tagging me @twig-tea 🙏 I read your post and the questions while going Ohhh interesting but when I actually tried to answer them myself, I realized that I'm usually pretty positive about the shows I watch or else I just move on from them. Most of the time, I don't fault characters or a whole show for being bad anyway, it's more the writing/script, directing choices, or editing that I tend to have gripes with.

So! Of the entire 22 original questions (by @clara-maybe-ontheroad), I'll only be answering a handful. This will also only be about Thai BLs because they make up the vast majority of QLs I've seen.

1 Worst soundtrack / weirdest song choice in a BL

My knee-jerk reaction was "Never Let Me Go country song NC" lmao but then I went to rewatch said scene and it barely stood out to me. So after re-thinking I'll have to nominate two shows: Dangerous Romance and Until We Meet Again, for basically the same reason.

Chimon's OST สายลม (Wind), which I actually fell in love with when it dropped because Chimon's voice was such a pleasant surprise, is being entirely overused in DR, to the point that I'm starting to tire of a song that I actually like. Honorable mention: The completely random and unnecessary stage performance of Perth and Chimon's ซบกันไปนานๆ (Sunset) in ep. 5. Was it not enough to have them sing and vibe to it in the car earlier in the same episode??

Similarly, UWMA's OST is either entirely by one guy or entirely one song but it sure was grating on me, my patience and my enjoyment of the show. P'New series are already hit or miss for me but that singer/song/OST had me so fed up.

5 Worst plot line

The first show I ever dropped was Star In My Mind which is ridiculous considering how short it is. But the entire premise of Kluen being unable to open his goddamn mouth frustrated me to no end. I did pick it back up again at a later point though, so I could watch Sky In Your Heart and indulge in the JoongDunk cuteness from there on out.

7 A show people love but you find bad

I'm sorry to say but- it's Vice Versa. It was one of the first Thai QLs I watched along with as it aired but ultimately I gotta say Oof. It has a fun premise, the cinematography is super nice, and it's genuinely sweet. But the amount of product placements was staggering! I also just didn't vibe with JimmySea's chemistry, they just gave too much Friend energy for me to find them believable as a couple. They're not the only ones or the only series where I didn't really find the spark but that's not a Them problem. That's a me 'Needing my fictional couples to be head over heels for each other for my acespec ass to see/experience the attraction and connection' problem lol

8 A show people find bad but you will defend

Cutie Pie! And I will die on this hill, @twig-tea 😂 It has everything I love: good production quality, good acting, tangible chemistry between the couples (see last question lol), complicated emotions, push-and-pull between the romantic leads, a dedicated cast and crew, a great OST, I'm certain I'm forgetting a lot of stuff but there's just so much I love about this show.

At its core, it's about two people who turned themselves into the versions they think they should be for each other, based on their upbringing, expectations placed upon them, status differences etc. and how they learn to be honest with themselves and each other.

I've re-watched this show a number of times, each with different levels of Thai proficiency, which made me consider that this show might've been such a hit in Thailand but not as much internationally because there's maybe a language and trope/culture barrier here? On my first-time watch, I knew no Thai and was largely unfamiliar with what tropes are common in Thai romances and such. At the time, the show didn't hit me very much, I struggled to make sense of that pivotal fight in episode 1, I enjoyed the singing, it was mostly just a nice romance. On my most recent re-watch a few months back, I had reached the point where I could follow a spoken conversation in Thai as long as there were translated subs to guide me along. And suddenly the full weight of episode 1 but especially the fight at the end, setting up the central conflict, hit me and I realized: Oh wow! This is good writing! Introduce your characters, their backgrounds, their goals, and the show's core conflict and that's how you hook viewers.

This has already gotten long enough but I wanna mention how much it means to me to have this show not just call for marriage equality repeatedly but also to have them shout it out to the world by having their mlm couple fully make out in what is arguably one of the busiest corners of Bangkok - Siam Square! More specifically it is the area with the fountains between Siam Paragon on one side and Siam Center on the other, and the skywalk (that connects the various malls in the area) as well as the central BTS station Siam both overlooking that space. It's also called Parc Paragon, there's frequently events there, and it is busy as all hell!! And they not only cleared it for filming a lengthy queer kiss scene but, in the show, the huge LED/ad screens are used to project pride colors, a call for equal rights, and a queer marriage proposal in plain view of the entire square!

If you've never been to Bangkok, I beg you to look up photos, via Google Street View or the IG location tag for Parc Paragon so you get an idea of what I'm talking about. 🙏 (this isn't the only busy prominent location they used btw but djdjhdjsdj let's not write a whole damn essay here)

10 A bad show that you kept watching because you were intrigued/fascinated

Dinosaur Love - I watched the first episode, excited for Tonnam and Pepper, and found it charming with its low budget, pink-filtered tropey-ness. Except I quickly realized that this show was Actually Bad. The framing and blocking were often a big question mark to me. The pink filter and the background music got annoying quickly. The acting was subpar. At some point in episode 2 I started questioning if they ever even did more than one take per scene. There was a panning shot involving a mirror where the crew is just fully visible in the reflection?? Suffice it to say that I dropped this show like a hot potato when episode 3 very suddenly and very graphically had a side character self-harm. Squicked me out like nothing before, moving on!

11 A bad show that you kept watching because you were horny

I mentioned this already but I'm on the aro/ace-spectrum (...somewhere, don't ask me specifics lol) so I don't really watch shows for horny or eyecandy reasons. If I don't vibe with the characters or dynamics then I won't even perceive them as sexy, to be honest.

12 A bad show that you kept watching because of that one character

Why R U (the og Thai one), I guess? Everyone who's seen it probably knows that the production and filming suffered because of Covid so I wouldn't hesitate to call this show bad on that basis. I set out to watch it because I wanted to see more of Zee Pruk's acting, in another role, after having seen Cutie Pie. And Fighter ended up being most of the reason I stuck around till the end. The nuanced struggle with his own sexuality was so well-portrayed. Tutor is a very memorable character as well! And I'm entirely 🥰 about Hwa, she just perfectly fits this character archetype that I will always, without fail, completely adore.

21 The show that disappointed you the most

Most of the time, I either don't have big expectations or I let go of them quickly enough once I get a vibe for where a given show is going. The closest thing to 'disappointment' would then probably be all the shows that I kept seeing being recommended and hyped but that didn't leave a lasting impression on me after watching, like KinnPorsche, Love Mechanics, Manner of Death. None of these are bad OR disappointing and there's things I genuinely enjoyed and liked in them but ultimately I just didn't Get why they're so popular. I'm sure part of it is to do with me not having been around to follow along on a week-to-week basis but watching them long after they were done airing, basically in a vacuum. But alas!

I don't know how you managed to do all 22 questions, Twig Tea, when this fraction has already taken me like five hours 💀 Passing this time-eating curse on then to @airenyah @cangse-sanren/@zeesqueere @sadwetcatray @sorry-bonebag @telomeke @thegalwhorants @pharawee I'm sure this tag is making the rounds so some (if not all) of y'all have probably done this already. If anyone I didn't tag reads this and wants to play, feel free to tag me in it, I do enjoy reading hot takes and impassioned essays lol

[ggukwoo]

purple lights

warning: very cute fluff, niki is whipped for reader

enjoy my first story!

"on a scale of one of ten how much do you love me?" you wrapped your arms around your boyfriends neck, your noses almost touching at the close proximity. 

your boyfriend, niki, only laughed at your remark and placed his hands on your waist, smiling like a little kid, "its beyond ten, baby." he scrunches up his nose. 

you smile at his answer and lean in closer to him, smelling the faint cologne on his shirt, "good answer." you kissed his cheek and tried pulling away from him before he pulled you back against him. 

"that wasn't a proper kiss, baby." he put his hand underneath your chin and you playfully held onto his wrist. 

"that was a kiss, what are you talking about?" you couldn't move your head but you raised an eyebrow at him. 

he shakes his head before leaning in to give you a soft kiss on your lips, allowing you to kiss him back with ease. 

he pulled away and patted your hair down, "that was the proper kiss i was looking for. now i believe you were going to show me that art project you had finished?" 

you jumped up from the floor, "ah yeah, thank you for reminding me." you rushed to your room and grabbed the diorama of yours and nikis first date. 

niki noticed the scene in the diorama and looked at you with sparkling eyes, "that's our first date." 

you were surprised at how fast he could tell what it was. but that was because niki couldn't get that day out of his head. 

"how could you tell? i haven't even set it down yet." you carefully placed the project down next to his legs and sat down next to him. 

"well firstly I might've taken a couple of peeks at it when you were working on it the other day. secondly, the lights." he pauses and points at the purple lights lighting up inside the box, "purple lights remind me of our first date." 

you listen to his voice get softer and you can't help but smile at how cute he is, "purple is my favorite color now because of it. my comfort color." you turned your attention from the diorama to niki. 

his eyes were already on you and you blushed at the eye contact you held before looking away. "god, he's your boyfriend for goodness sakes, stop blushing so much." you told yourself. 

"babe?" his love for pet names was just one of the things you loved about niki. you could go on for days about how much you loved this man. 

"mhm?" you turned your body so you were criss cross sitting in front of him. 

.

.

.

.

"have i ever told you how much i love you?" 

purple lights.

(fic made for vivi)

[riversimmone]

Heartbeat

Heartbeat

RiverOfTheSand

Summary:

It was a power she'd never imagined: a skill not to be taken lightly. And when Sakura heard his heartbeat through his shirt, she knew this was an opportunity she couldn't pass up. Neji was more nervous in her presence than he let on, and she fully intended on taking advantage of him… uh, that.

Notes:

This is a very strange one-shot that started off a series on ff.net (marked as a multi-chapter because ff.net doesn't do that). Rereading it, it's so cliche but it was meant to be that way. . Cross-posted from fanfiction.net. First chapter in a series. . Original Author's Notes: So… I'm sitting here with my hot chocolate, freezing my arse off (well, not literally) and wondering, where the HELL is my NejiSaku inner fan girl? She went on holiday apparently. I hate being ignored. *sighs* And I'm getting frustrated writing SasuSaku. Both are good enough reasons for a change. I'll get back to it, but right now, it's NejiSaku time. ;) Anyway, my motivation for this series of one-shots is to form all the light hearted NejiSaku ideas rattling around in my head into something cohesive. These one-shots are romance but the second genre is malleable. I won't be putting angst or tragedy on them though: just remember, it's all in good fun. ;) Every updated "chapter" will have its own title and summary anyway. Heads up. :) Read, love, and review! ^_^

Rated T. Read and review. :)

"That is so hot!" Ino Yamanaka squealed loudly. "Do me! Do me!"

There had been a price for everything she loved in her life. She'd endured ridicule to figure out what was the right kind of attention and struggled for years to become the respected Kunoichi she was today. But there was one thing Sakura Haruno had yet to overcome on her chosen path: loud, obnoxious blondes. She rolled her eyes at her best friend and repressed the shudder she always felt coming when Ino got too excited. "Do you have any idea how that sounded, coming out of your mouth?"

They were in a crowded restaurant, enjoying their respective lunch hours, and every ninja and civilian in the area had just stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at them. And with Ino's reputation, Sakura could see their suspicious (and in some cases salivating interest – Genma Shiranui for one) minds musing on the implications of the blonde's words.

"Ino!" She snapped hoarsely, when her friend just ignored the attention she'd brought down on them both. "Keep your voice down."

"Oh, relax forehead." Ino spun around on her chair and addressed the other customers. "I wasn't talking about sex."

'Why am I not surprised people thought that was what she meant? The girl has no shame.'

In all the years she'd known Ino, Sakura had never seen her hold back what she was thinking. She heatedly told her friend to kindly shut her mouth, and once they were done with their lunch, the blonde made her promise to show her the new technique she'd learnt after they were both done for the day. She wasn't really asking, as Ino laced her words with a hidden threat to embarrass Sakura in public with a worse spectacle than she'd just endured.

Ino was very interested in what Sakura had picked up.

It was no big deal really, but it opened up a world of possibilities. She'd first felt it happen while sitting next to Naruto. Her fear and confusion was quickly dismissed when she realised he'd been reacting to the approaching figure of Hinata Hyuuga. His heart rate had increased with every step Hinata took toward them and if she hadn't been fixated on the thrumming of his pulse, not to mention its affect on his chakra system, from a purely medical point of view, Sakura might've gone deaf at the sound. She was glad that the idiot had finally noticed Hinata, but it had taken the pinkette hours to get rid of her headache after that.

Lady Tsunade had been quite interested in Sakura's idea of decreasing diagnosis time by learning how to detect a patient's heart rate before all the instruments could be hooked up to them, or her chakra inserted into their system. Sometimes, though not often really, the invading chakra of a medic can hasten some injuries – especially those connect to the cardiovascular and pulmonary organs (heart, veins, and lungs). On top of that, in the heat of battle, she didn't always have the chakra to waste on a diagnosis. A medic's duty was to stay out of the fight and heal as needed, but it didn't always go according to plan.

It turned from a strange little side project to a weekend of educational fun. Sakura had picked it up rather quickly and experimented on her mentor after a few rounds of sake (not to mention Shizune when the brunette woman was talking to or about Genma Shiranui).

Naruto had been her first test outside of controlled conditions.

'And then I just had to go blab to Ino!'

Now the girl wanted in and there was no wrangling this mare once she decided to buck. She was especially interested in what had happened shortly after Sakura's run-in with the Naruto/Hinata marching band. Sakura hadn't thought about anyone romantically since Sasuke, but there was a certain brown haired Hyuuga who had noticed her at least.

– Heartbeat –

It was an hour after leaving Naruto and Hinata… alone, in the woods (she mentally shivered at that), that Sakura decided to visit the Konoha Library, where at least there would be some peace and quiet. She had thought Neji would be more comfortable in the massive library in the Hyuuga estate, but there he was, standing next to an aisle of medical volumes, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared apathetically at the words on their spines.

Sakura waved as she walked toward him. "Hiya Neji!"

And of course, he offered his usual: a formal greeting complete with the correct suffix and even voice she knew. It pissed her off, but more than anything, she wanted him to loosen up. Sakura had the perfect thing, and winked at him seductively.

"Aaww, Neji-pyon!" she teased, giggling softly. "It's okay to admit you're excited to see me." [pyon: slang for calling someone their sweetie]

And then… there it was... she couldn't believe it. The stoic ice cube was normally so calm and collected. But Sakura was counting his heartbeat and was, for the first time since learning this technique, blushing at the revelation it had brought her.

He hadn't moved an inch as she walked toward him. He didn't bat an eyelid as she calmly asked him to move out of the way. He didn't respond other than to shift slightly, indicating there was enough room and he wasn't moving – he did look quite comfortable when stiff as a board. Sakura was just trying to get past him to grab the medical text book behind him on the shelf when she sensed it: his heart started hammering in his chest and it didn't stop until she was out of his personal space. His face and stance showed nothing of his accelerated heart rate however, and a part of her wondered if it had actually happened. His voice as he said his formal goodbyes before he left gave nothing away.

Sakura thought she had been imagining things until it happened again. Later that day, she'd visited the Hyuuga estate to ask Hiashi if she could sneak a peek at some of his medical volumes like he'd promised via Tsunade four months ago. Neji was the only one in Hiashi's office, and calmly told her the old man was off training with Hanabi and didn't want to be disturbed… the slippery arse. So Sakura was demanding that Neji talk some sense into his uncle while standing a foot away from him, pointing a finger at his eyes (those… mesmerising… gorgeous… eyes…), when the beating interrupted her tirade.

Neji half frowned at her abrupt halt and his eyes widened slightly at the blush lining her cheeks.

'Fuck this,' she snapped at herself.

Sakura did the only thing she could think of – she pulled him into a tight hug and whispered "god, you're hot" before making a mad dash for freedom.

– Heartbeat –

Needless to say, Sakura was embarrassed. But it also offered up the perfect opportunity for giving her love life a kick in the arse. Ino was still badgering her about teaching her the technique but Sakura couldn't face her right now. She wanted to see how far she could take this (whatever this was) with Neji… Ino would forgive her if she found out why she was skipping out on her… right? Tsunade was out on one of her binges and Sakura had a messenger "summon" Neji. She felt no qualms about pretending he'd been summoned by the Hokage and then thoroughly seducing him.

The room was empty when Neji knocked, was bade to enter and did as he was told. "Lady Hokage, what–"

"Neji-pyon," Sakura whispered from behind him, closing the door. "You and I have some unfinished business, starting with this."

Neji felt his body go still… the knowing look on her face gave her away: she knew how he felt. But how? She was pulling on his shirt – the Hyuuga Kimono he'd adjusted for his missions as a part of Team Guy. He swallowed heavily, realising the only article of clothing Sakura was wearing was a pink satin robe.

"W-where is the Hokage?" He asked, getting a strange feeling about this.

'Okay,' she thought, clenching her fists tightly. 'Let's bite this in the butt, shall we?'

Sakura ignored his question and pouted. "Wouldn't you rather kiss me, Neji-pyon?"

She smirked as he gripped her tighter, taking the bait. She closed her eyes, heat pooling in her stomach as Neji kissed her, pushing her roughly against the wall.

Fifteen minutes later, an angry blonde stormed into the Hokage's office, and Sakura started, terrified of being caught by her shishou. The woman was supposed to be out for the rest of the afternoon! But it wasn't Lady Tsunade who'd almost knocked the door off its hinges.

"FOREHEAD! I HOPE YOU'RE READY TO BE HUNG AND QUARTERED! YOU'RE SO–"

Ino stopped midsentence, taking in the scene before her: Sakura and Neji, flustered, wrapped up in each other's arms, and naked on Tsunade's desk. A quirk of her lips told the pinkette what was coming next…

"YEAH-HEH! SAKURA FINALLY GOT LAID!"

X X X

[danganronpa-ship-tourney]

Sorry if this comes off as pushing the ship, but I'd like to argue some points for Oumeno, if for no other reason then maybe it'll come to use for the propaganda stuff. Again, sorry for this mini-essay.

First obviously is the confession in chapter 5 and Himiko's reaction, the thing is that whole exchange is also referencing a pre-trial 2 dialogue where Tenko accuses Kokichi of teasing Himiko cause he likes her and instead of playing into that Kokichi tries to sweep that under the rug, suggesting Tenko might've been closer to the truth. At the very least it points to Kokichi as having written that line rather than being improv from Kaito. Thematically I feel like its very fitting that Kokichi would make a genuine post-mortem confession. Either way Himiko's reaction is unmistakable, which considering the circumstances (at the moment Kokichi is believed to be the mastermind that orchestrated the killing game, the successor to Junko Enoshima and Kaito's killer) makes it seem very likely that at the very least she had crush on him.

Back in chapter 3 it was Kokichi that stopped Himiko from closing herself off, both in and post trial Kokichi made sure she actually confronted and processed through all the difficult emotions rather than bottling them up and sink further into depression.

Additionally something I don't see many bring up, but Himiko's love hotel is about her ideal being someone she both assumes is sinister and considers her foolish for falling for. If she does have a crush on Kokichi (which I think is very likely) this could be almost seen as direct parallel, Kokichi being generally considered as someone dangerous and unreliable and Himiko considering herself foolish for falling for him.

The two have several thematic and character similarities, notably both of them have a unique mix of both acting mature and childish. They both have penchants for theatrics, they tend to like a lot of the same gifts and enjoy several of the same activities in salmon mode. Kokichi shows clear interest in Himiko's magic tricks and notably never actually demeans her talent, in fact he is one of the few characters who compliments her on her skills. Also notably unlike other characters most of Kokichi's teases towards Himiko are physical appearance, some of them being very obviously blatantly wrong and well we know how much of a liar he is. Meanwhile Himiko shows a particular interest in blowing off his pants and in chapter 5 getting particularly focused on Kokichi being "butt naked." Himiko also couple of times seems to focus more on Kokichi's wording, she gets swayed onto his side several times in the dining hall scenes and most clearly after Kokichi mentioned canned tuna you can find her mumbling that all of a sudden she wants some tuna if you check on her afterwards. Also in the closing arguments for chapter 3 Himiko is lightly blushing while looking at Kokichi lockpicking, and yes I double checked she isn't shown blushing in any other panel in any other closing argument, only in the specific panel where she's staring at Kokichi lockpicking.

Again apologies for this mini-essay, I really like Oumeno and trust me when I say I could go longer but I feel like I've already put in too much for what was supposed to be just a few points in favour for Oumeno, kind of overdid it, sorry.

Oh yeah there's a lot to like about oumeno, im glad other people have a lot of fun with the ship, theres a lot to like but it just...kinda bounced right off me, it happens sometimes. That's just how it be, these are all very good points

[tasberry]

I used to be a very much "subs over dubs" media watcher...until I got into doing voice over and since I'm an English speaker...yeah. I realized how silly that take was.

Sometimes a dub has to rework lines in translation because of the lip flaps.

Other times, things are changed because a pun or joke won't work in whatever language it's being dubbed over in.

It's totally understandable to dislike that? I get it. I dislike needless script alterations that change the meaning of a scene as well.

Whatever the case may be, I think a lot of the time people forget that the voice actors aren't necessarily in charge of the English translations of the original media?

They don't automatically get to lead the voice direction either? It takes a team of people and multiple takes to produce the end product.

Liking one, the other, or both is a subjective thing, and that's fine!

Whatever version let's you enjoy the show to the fullest is great...but constantly putting down XYZ cast member because of things they were directed to do, with a character they auditioned for, and then got chosen for, seems a bit...misplaced to me?

Granted, I'm aware of some situations which can unfairly tweak auditions for roles. Like any job, part of it is who you know. Still though.

....Also, I think a part of it might just be due to a cringe response? Something that sounds cringey in subtitles feels a bit more seperate from you.

If you can hear and understand the words right away, then looking away won't save you. You gotta sit in that second hand embarrassment immediately.

It's uncomfortable. There is a layer of extra annoyance if the scene was tweaked. Now the scene is grating and cringey, when before it might've been endearing in its awkwardness.

I think that's something fair to critique and analyze...buuuuuuut, it has nothing to do with whoever is voicing your boloro.

If you have an issue with the casting in a dub, it's fine to point out things that might've helped it shine a bit more. I'm not saying don't ever be critical ever or you're not a fan if you dislike something.

All I'm trying to say is, having people constantly whine about how someones voice makes people's ears bleed isn't really a constructive take?

I have a high pitched voice at 29.

It was even higher when I was starting out at 11.

I got quite a lot of similar comments, but I was stumped on what to do about it.

There's no critique in that take. How do you make your voice less..."awful"? How is it "awful"?

What about their performance can be improved upon? Give the person a suggestion if you're gonna say it's for critique, you know?

[bloody-cupcakes]

I am craving a pt2 of the yandere Whittaker!Master fic 🗣🗣‼️‼️

anon your wish is very much my command (a part three might be in order if you enjoy this one too) (part one is here btw)

Yandere/dark Whittaker! Master x reader; after trying to escape, you're forced to make it up to her to avoid punishment

Tw: yandere/dark content, gender neutral reader, nsfw/smut, pretty obviously implied Stockholm syndrome, somewhat mean femdom, oral sex/cunnilingus (Master receiving), the reader is referred to as pet by the Master in a way that's both degrading and affectionate, brief mention of the Master's dacryphilia kink, the Master is a little more cold and uncaring here than in the last one, the reader purposely acts like a brat near the end (which includes them performing a dubcon-ish sexual act on the Master)

"Get to work."

You had been taught well, for no sooner than her commanding words rang through your ears did you help to unbutton her pants and pull them down far enough to expose her already wet pussy to you. The sight alone was enough to make you drool.

"Master..." You softly mumbled out her name, unable to keep yourself from staring. No one else could ever hold a candle to how your Master looked when naked: she was ethereal, a true beauty from beyond this world. You were quite certain she was even the most gorgeous thing on all of Gallifrey, but that might've just been the Stockholm syndrome talking.

It took everything in her not to just shove your face towards her pussy out of impatience. "Come on now, pet, I haven't got all day." Her voice immediately brought you out of the trance like state you had been stuck in as something only she could do.

You felt your face heat up as you realized you'd been staring for longer than you'd thought, noting the obvious irritation in her voice. "Sorry, Master." Shuffling forward while still on your knees, you brought yourself closer to the area right between her thighs before obediently burying your face in her pussy.

The loud groan she emitted from that action alone rose your confidence levels, spurring you on even more. Your tongue quickly worked to move along her folds, wetting them with your spit (not that they really needed it, as she had been previously aroused by your earlier act of crying).

"Good pet... Doing so well for me, I'm so proud of you..." A gloved hand reached out to rest on top of your head, not-so-subtly pressing your face further into her crotch.

Muffled noises of content could be heard coming from you as you happily ate her out, no longer feeling as pathetic and worthless as you did earlier. You knew your Master would never get rid of you, even if you did misbehave on occasion. You were her darling little pet, after all.

It didn't take very long for her breathing to quicken and her body to tense up, a sure sign that she was close to the edge. Desperate to have her cum on your face, you pressed on, despite the fact that it was becoming more and more difficult for you to breathe.

Her hand tightened its grip on your head slightly while her hips rolled upwards against your face, greedily chasing her climax. As selfish as it may have sounded, she honestly didn't care if you passed out at that point from lack of oxygen. It would serve you right for disobeying her.

Once she was properly satisfied, she switched her movements, using her hand to push your face away from her instead of pulling you closer. "Enough, pet. I think we're done here."

A low whimper came from you in protest, not wanting to let up just yet. You kept licking and kissing at her folds until she let out a growl in response, roughly yanking your head back. "I said, enough."

You looked up at her from where you knelt at her feet, the lower half of your face glistening with her juices. Your bottom lip was jutted outwards in a bratty pout, showing how displeased you were with having to stop. "Master, I wasn't done yet."

She scowled at you in response, reaching her hand back down to lightly flick you on the nose the same way someone might do to a disobedient dog. "You're done when I say you're done. Don't talk back to me, or I'll change my mind on letting you get away without punishment for running off."

Instead of cowering in fear like she thought, you leaned forward and gave her clit a defiant suck. She was certain her knees would've buckled right then and there from overstimulation had she been standing.

The smirk on your face from the surprised gasp she let out told her you knew exactly what you were doing and were now deciding to act out on purpose. "You want to act like a brat? Fine," she snarled while grabbing your face roughly, infuriated by the smug look that was now on your face.

"Then I'll treat you like one."

[conannxl]

Okay, Drowsy Chaperone fans unite to help me.

If I get the part of man in chair, what should I do. There's a bunch of you little critters out here and I figure if there's a general consensus I will follow it, and of course whatever my director says. Here's my absolute YAP session of a post:

I'm just going to put it out there and say that whenever I do a show even though I'm extremely amateur, I study it. A lot. I've been going through Reddit, YouTube, news articles and interviews etc. trying to find a good answer, although I guess good is objective. I find man in chair to be a very confusing character at times.

Many theorize that the whole thing could be him with his aforementioned zoloft addiction finally overdosing and living through his final moments hallucinating the show, or perhaps at the very end it's when he overdoses which allows him to finally interact with the characters. I've heard people say that he kills himself at the end, which I agree is feasible, but it takes away from the point of the show, along with the zoloft theories. I'm not saying that his love for the show is only boiled down to just being high, but its a show that's near and dear to him, and having it be "hahaha I kill myself my favorite show" seems really just unnecessarily edgy even though it might come off as more deep.

I really, really, deeply enjoy Bob Martin's portrayal of the character and I admire him so much. I feel like the Broadway's ending was very ambiguous, but I'd like to believe that if anything, it's him finally becoming content with the ending of the show (and his opinion of the show) and the direction his life went, or just him finally dying, not from some sort of drug induced episode. With other posts that have the same question as this one, many commenters mention how you really need to go with the director's vision which makes a lot of sense.

But like I said, I really want a more definite answer. Is it leaning more towards him finally giving in and taking his own life at the end, or finally being happy with himself? Moreover, do people really believe that its just him dying?

I really like people saying that he's agoraphobic, Jewish, or a closeted gay man which really gives me a decent idea of where to place his character. I can get the first half down. (Where he's just talking about the show or defending it, whatever, basically before the drinking) But after he gets tipsy, towards live or leave, I'm a bit lost again. Is it more anger and sadness, or just recounting the story in a funny way because he's under the influence?

There are so many dreadfully sad monologues in this show that I think get over taken by the humor in it. You always want to be true to the material and your director's vision but just burning it all down to just for laughs takes away the meaning- I cant figure out his intentions- I despise when people laugh during those monologues because like I said its so sad but its a comedy so why do those jokes have to be in there? And when people finally do portray him in a way that takes away from that humor during those deep moments, the actor gets absolutely torn into. Please help! If I even get the part, I want to be able to feel like I did it right, and not have some snappy guy be like, well this left a bad taste in my mouth because blah blah blah. No offense to anybody who might've left a comment like that but if you don't agree with somebody's choices for a character you can say it in a way that isn't being a dick jesus christ.

Thanks if you can help.

(I apologize if this is hard to read/follow, I'm not a good writer)

(Forgot to mention, I saw this very interesting video called "The Intoxicating Nostalgia of The Drowsy Chaperone" on YouTube. please go watch it if you're interested!!!! It talks about how the show itself was racist at times and not defendable and the whole show is really the man in chair finding reasons to still endorse the show with its nature.)

[chadsuke]

12 & 17

12. Any books that disappointed you?

hm... the omnivore's dilemma by michael pollan, i thought it was going to be really good based on what people were saying but i honestly don't think i needed to read it. it was fine, i guess? also platformed insane rightwingers which like. lets not.

no is not enough by naomi klein was... eh. i think if i read it a few years ago (bc it was a response to trump) it might've hit harder, but as it is i felt like i could've just read her other books and gotten a much better impression overall (which will be doing).

this is not a drill by extinction rebellion pretended to be some practical book about climate change and protests by radical anarchists but was a bunch of centrists wearing a coat. it made me kinda angry actually.

nickel and dimed by barbara ehrenreich was supposedly very influential in terms of how people viewed minimum wage jobs and whatnot but honestly it was just a wildly privileged woman shocked that her PHD didn't make her good at serving. i am glad i read it tho bc i kept taking pics of the pages to make fun of them to ppl because she was SOOOO wildly out of touch.

finally, don't be evil by rana foroohar. all about, yknow, big tech being Bad but then it turned into pro-capitalist pro-america anti-china nonsense and it was a headache and a half. they referenced The Jungle a few times without grasping what it was about and it made me want 2 both laugh and cry.

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

i read a lot of good books this year, but the ones that SURPRISED me... radium girls: the dark story of america's shining women by kate moore. i wasn't expecting it to be BAD by any means but i absolutely devoured the book in a single sitting it was fascinating, well-written, and the narrative structure vs the non-fiction was soooo good. i was not expecting to just devour it over the course of a single plane ride.

eating to extinction: the world's rarest foods and why we need to save them by dan saladino. i just picked this one up randomly at the new books area of the library when i went home for august, so i had no expectations whatsoever but genuinely this book might've changed my life lol. i would NOT shut up about it the entire month i was home and i loved reading it so much.

the premonition: a pandemic story by michael lewis. all about all the healthcare system troubles leading up to the pandemic which they totally could anticipate coming and it was another one like radium girls where i thought it would be a solid book but had no idea how much it would grip me. i also did not shut up about this one.

finally, even tho it was overall an eh book (just not for me!), i was actually shocked i enjoyed sex and the city by candace bushnell as much as i did. i happened to have a physical copy so thought i'd give it a try, but my only knowledge came from the tv show's existence so i didn't think it would be of quality at all. shockingly, it's fucking satirical and the show missed the ENTIRE point. (or the show didn't and its audience did, either or)

[harleiquina]

Not a problem! As long as it's civil, I'm ok with a healthy debate 😁

I understand your passion for Holmes and maybe we are in a position were the fact that I read all stories in Spanish might've played against me... there are certain nuances that exist in English that cannot be properly translated to Spanish (and viceversa) because it would change the text, like "I felt Holmes' hand steal into mine and giving me a reassuring shake" sounds more intimate than it would into Spanish were it could be translated as "I felt Holmes' hand slip into mine giving me a reassuring pat" it doesn't sound so different, but the phrase "steal into mine" sounds furtive, it's almost a secret among them... when in Spanish the action is a lot more direct and leaves any kind of delicacy behind. (Am I all the sudden understanding why some people ship them? Maybe)

And let's not forget that I've read these books a long time ago... everything comes in a blurr and just small things that impressed me at the time remain with me (like Holmes meeting Watson, the first time Irene Adler shows up and, as I said the Baskerville's Hound girl -and the dog shining in the night because for the life of me, I couldn't quite understand how the trick worked but until I saw it on screen... I had the same issue with Poirot in Orient Express when he uses the mesh that comes inside the hat boxes to do a small experiment and read a burned note... I just read through it without understanding it well enough and when I saw it on the movie I was like "Ah! So that's what he did")

When I said that he's a d*ck I said it because is very easy for the casual viewer to fall for the newest version of Sherlock than the one that exists in the books... so if Henry Cavill's is super sweet, a bunch of people will fall for that and many won't bother in trying to read the books. (Fun thing, a friend of my mom said after watching Downey's Holmes "the only thing missing is a motorbike" saying that this is most certainly not the Holmes everybody knows he's more sassy, with attitude... and Watson slim and fighting? Fear not, I do like Downey's Holmes I'm not like "this should be 100% accurate to the text" I can enjoy a new take on a character that has been done to death).

I did watch Jeremy Renner's Holmes because of my aunt (it's her favourite) that's why I said "about 70%" 😜

I do not know how far the way I read him also influences what I've read coming from his very own mouth. I grew up knowing that Sherlock is all about logic (to the point of forgetting basic knowledge like what is and how does our Solar System works because that knowledge does not benefit him in any way) and beeing the typical Victorian British GentelmanTM that usually means being cold, distant and completely out of touch with his own emotions. So, with that preconception I read everything he said with the tone of someone that is arrogant and full of himself. That's why the first time I read him slipping out of that character it shocked me enough to remember it... the other times weren't that memorable and I forgot about them, my apologies.

Now about the notes... that's something I kinda agree but mostly disagree with you. I mean... yes, he is a very famous detective and probably is swiming in letters of people that ask for his help. He does need to be picky... but at that specific time... he was doing nothing, he was bored (I don't quite remember if he was using heroin at the time or coming out of it or about to start to use it because he was THAT bored) he did wanted a big mistery to solve, a really good puzzle and those cases didn't cut it for him (I do side with him in that) but he could've send even a small note just saying "It was X" to help those people that were as desperate as any other that could've walked into his apartment (he did had the time and means to do it he just didn't because he didn't wanted to). Answering the letters its what a "goody good shoes" would've done... so to me it does prove that what he likes the most is the thrill of solving the crime... he doesn't go after justice (and I mean, that's not the main goal he has) it's just something that is tied very closely to what he does and, of course, I don't want to generalize all his cases, there are instances where he does understand the injustice that was commited and tries to avenge it... but that doesn't always implies the official sense of Justice (sending the culpirit to jail) that any "good guy" detective follows. Sometimes he just doesn't care... and that's fine.

Even tough I don't love him (Mr. Harley Quin, my beloved)... I like him as a character, he's a damn good one precisely because is complex we could say that he's morally grey (has his own sense of justice) he is not a perfect human, he is not inffalible either and it's perfectly ok. I'm really tired of new characters that would never do wrong because they are "the good guy"... nobody is 100% good or bad, but it would seem like today's society wants just that... that's why it rubs me the wrong way when some people is like "oohhh... the new Sherlock is so warm & cute, I love it!" when, no... let him be an a**hole when he wants to that is exactly what makes him believable and relatable 😝

Sorry for the long post... it's nice to talk to someone that knows of what they are speaking about 😊

Benoit Blanc's similarities to other fictional detectives

Specifically Holmes, Poirot and Columbo because I'm most familiar with them and saw many of their characteristics in Blanc.

Impeccable clothes - Poirot

Cigar - Columbo

Post-case slump - Holmes

Eccentric - Holmes, Poirot, Columbo

Detection as a means of helping people, not just for the sake of solving crimes - Holmes (and Poirot and Columbo to a slightly lesser extent)

Fun name – Holmes, Columbo, Poirot

Referred to by surname (almost) all of the time, even by close friends/partners – Columbo, Holmes, Poirot

Kindness to and deep respect for vulnerable women – Holmes, Columbo, Poirot

Said to be the best detective in the world – Holmes, Poirot

Fun American accent – Columbo

Hates rich people who abuse their financial influence – Holmes, Columbo, Poirot

Polite – Columbo (of course Holmes and Poirot can also be very polite but I don't feel like it's a defining characteristic for them the way it is for Columbo)

Rude to mean rich people in a way that is so polite the horrible rich people don’t realise they’re being made fun of/talked to rudely – Holmes, Poirot

Politeness and diplomacy that is often pushed too far and they explode into explicit anger – Holmes, Columbo, Poirot

Drama in resolution – all three to varying degrees, but especially Poirot

Understated and affable – Columbo

Involved in self-contained stories – Columbo, Poirot, Holmes (though a couple of Holmes stories do link closely to previous stories)

Uses the word 'afoot' – Holmes

Gay – Holmes, Poirot (I'll let you decide if this applies to Columbo)

[doflamingosstrings]

This is one of my more popular fics on Ao3 so I decided to post to here as well! I was extremely down bad when I wrote this so that’s why it’s so long, but enjoy!

-Luffy x F Reader

-WordCount: ~5,000

It began after a night of partying and drinking with the crew.

You had all come back from quite the adventure, and with your success, you all decided to celebrate.

You sat on the deck of the sunny, looking over your shoulder at the sea.

It seemed to sparkle against the moonlight as the water contoured and splashed throughout the sea, and against the ship.

The endless ocean seemed to keep you in a trance, as the waves rose and dipped in the decidedly everlasting distance.

Your hand gripped the cup that was on the ground and lifted it up to your lips.

A refreshing taste had hit your pallet and a sigh had left your lips.

You closed your eyes, and a moment later you felt a presence.

Your eyes didn’t open as you felt no violent intent, maybe the individual was just passing by.

You waited for a few moments, the same presence still upon you, but it had gotten closer as the moments passed.

You decided to open an eye, and you were instantly met with your captain’s face inches from yours.

Your eyes widened slightly, a smile starting to appear on your face, but you kept your feelings under control.

You don't know exactly when it started, but you had formed some kind of a crush on your captain.

There was just something about his endless energy and heartfelt smiles that had you wrapped around his finger.

You decided not to let these feelings show, Luffy never felt like the type to have romantic feelings anyways, but at this moment, hiding your feelings may be harder than you thought.

Your heart fluttered as you looked over his features, his face closer than you had expected. You noted the scar on his cheek, his soft eyelashes, and his jet black hair that had found itself in his face.

“Luffy?” you asked as he smiled blankly at you. “What’s up, you need something?” you asked as you set your drink down on the deck.

“Nah, Sanji noticed you weren't around so I went to look for you!” he said happily. Luffy was sitting in front of you now, sitting up tall with his legs crossed. No one was around on the part of the deck you were beside you and now Luffy.

“You sure you don’t wanna hang out with the others or anything, I'm not doing much over here.” You said, leaning back on the railing on the edge of the boat.

“Yup! I missed you Y/n!” Luffy said, leaning closer to you, ever so slightly. The smallest tinge of pink had appeared on your cheeks at his words. You should have expected this kind of forwardness from your captain, but you couldn't help but feel happy about his words.

“So, how are you feeling now? I know that last fight must have taken a lot out of you.” You asked, not being able to meet his gaze entirely.

Luffy moved to your left, now sitting right next to you.

“It did kinda tire me out, but I’m good now! Especially because of all the meat Sanji made for me!” he said. And looked up into the sky. You looked back at his face, his gaze seemed hopeful yet, timid in a way. Like he was unsure of something, which was unusual for your outgoing captain.

You opened your mouth to speak, but you were cut off by Luffy’s words instead.

“I feel way better now that I’m around you though,” he said, and this time, you couldn't hide your blush. Luffy's eyes had met yours, and he noticed your face.

Luffy moved closer to you, his face now dangerously close to yours.

“You look cute like that y’now!” he said and put a hand on top of yours, only causing your blush to become more apparent.

You didn't know what to say, the unrequited crush that you had gained sometime along your journey, had it been noticed? Does he feel the same way, or was he just trying to tease you?

The questions swimming in your head were answered as a pair of lips met yours.

You felt your heart flutter, it was beating out of your chest. The object of your fantasies was right here, his lips connected to yours, and what fantasies they were.

You felt a heat swell between your legs as you moved to deepen the kiss between the two of you.

You felt a bite against your lip as you opened your mouth ever so slightly, Luffy taking this opportunity to invade the inside of your mouth. You felt a hand on your side as you were pulled closer to your captain, the kiss only deepening more.

You were now effectively sitting in your captain’s lap, one hand sliding under your shirt the other on your cheek.

Your lips parted from each other, but only for a moment, diving against each other a second later.

You couldn't deny the excitement you had felt imagining a scenario like this, and now, it was actually happening.

Your lips had left your captains again, a moan escaping your mouth as he decided to bite at your neck.

“Fuck Luffy..” you said in a whispery tone as your captain continued to lick down the side of your neck, nipping and biting at the soft flesh.

You felt him smile against your skin, he knew exactly what he was doing to you.

You had made it very clear to your crew that your neck was sort of a weak spot for you. After a multitude of hugs and playful touches, the sounds that would come from you every time a foreign pressure would find itself against your neck was nothing less than erotic.

You would often be teased for this, but this kind of touch was something else.

You didn't know if you could keep your voice down as Luffy brought his other hand up, caressing your nape. His touch soft, his hands calloused.

You felt another bite, then a kiss and you had stuttered out what had been words, might've been a moan. “Fuuck.” You said as you felt him suck against your skin, You hated how sensitive you were, it made you so easy to figure out.

You felt Luffy’s tongue lick down to your collarbone, continuing to bite and leave marks against your tender skin.

You felt a hand on your breast and you let out another breathy moan. In seconds, your shirt and bra had come off, leaving you in nothing, your skin feeling refreshed against the cool air.

“Straight forward aren't we captain?” You asked, playing it off as if your panties were not absolutely soaked at this point.

“I can't help it Y/n,” Your captain said, a smirk plastered on his face as he took your nipple into his mouth, biting it slightly. Another moan had left your lips as you pushed yourself against him, grinding your clothed wetness on his leg. “You're just so tasty.”

Luffy's other hand had come up to caress your other breast, kneading it slightly as his mouth left your nipple with a lewd popping sound.

“Luffy..” you whined as you placed your hands on his shoulders. You weren’t the patient type when it came to sex, you knew what you wanted and you wanted it now.

Luffy laughed slightly at the whine, clearly amused by your eagerness. He placed one more kiss against your breast as you were flipped over, your ass in the air, now facing Luffy, as you faced the wide-open deck of the sunny.

Your pants were off in an instant, thrown to the side along with your shirt and bra. You couldn't help but blush as you felt two fingers rub against your panties, and just as you thought, they were shamelessly soaked. “Fuck y/n..” you heard Luffy say as you felt pressure against the only piece of cloth you had left.

You had bit your lip to keep from moaning any louder as a tongue had found its way against your panties, licking the wetness that had seeped through your clothing.

Luffy licked and pressed his tongue against you, seemingly trying to taste as much of you as possible.

Your hips grinded against Luffy’s mouth as another moan escaped your lips. “Oh god-” you shuddered as you felt pressure against your clothed clit, you bit your arm to try and not bring attention to your situation.

The others were still awake, inside the sunny. You knew just how loud you could be when it came to sex. You then thought for a moment, your mouth releasing its pressure against your arm. You bit your lip slightly, the thought of being discovered was far too enticing. Thoughts of the muscular swordsman or the gorgeous navigator taking your moans as an invitation to fuck on another occasion were entirely distracting.

Your thoughts were cut short as you felt your panties tugged down your thighs and off your body. Your wetness was dripping down your thighs now, it was embarrassing being this turned on.

You felt Luffy lick a stripe up your thigh, licking the juices that had begun to drip down, leaving hickeys and bite marks on the way.

“Luffy you-AH!” You had begun to say as you felt your captain's mouth against your bare pussy. He was now licking and sucking more aggressively than before. You felt his tongue move between your lips, slurping up what was dripping out. The noises coming from your captain's mouth were incredibly lewd. You felt a hand on the cheek of your ass, spreading you more open as if you weren't begging to be eaten out.

His tongue slipped up and down, your juices collecting in his mouth only for him to swallow and do the same thing again. You felt his mouth suck against your clit, catching you off guard as another loud-ass moan left your mouth.

You wanted to say something, tell Luffy ‘more’ or ‘good’ but at the rate, he's going you weren't sure if you were going to be able to form an actual sentence. You wanted to tell him how good it felt but your trembling legs and your never-ending wetness were more than enough confirmation that Luffy was doing a damn good job.

You felt him flatted his tongue against you, once again licking at your dripping pussy, slurping up every drop of you.

You felt his tongue probe the entrance of your pussy, the wet appendage slipping inside not a moment later.

“GOd-'' was all you could manage as you were being tongue fucked by your captain. “Thank god for his devil fruit powers.” was all you could think as his tongue pressed against the sweet bundle of nerves deep inside of you. You squirmed at the feeling, you desperately grabbed at nothing as your eyes began to roll back, not expecting him to reach that deep inside you.

You felt his tongue touch every crevice of your insides, it was reaching so far back, moving so aggressively as if you tasted better than even the cooks' food.

Moans were constantly leaving your lips, your volume now unimportant as Luffy’s tongue slipped out of you to lick his lips, swallow, then dive back into your depths.

You weren't sure how much more of this you could take, it's as if he was eating you out for his own sake, not yours.

“Luffy, oh fuck.” you managed to groan out as your legs began to tremble slightly. You once again began to grab at nothing, clenching your fists together as you tightened against your captain's tongue.

“Luffy, I’m gonna come, fuck..” You said, your voice absolutely filled with lust, the only thing on your mind being your orgasm that was fast approaching.

“Mmhmm,” Luffy moaned out as he heard your words. His pace quickened after a moment, as of he wasn’t tongue fucking you aggressively enough. He slid his tongue deeper and quicker inside of you, his fingers now on your clit, rubbing it sweetly, the pace not at all matching the aggressive thrusts of his tongue.

“Fuck, Fuck!” You borderline yelled, as your orgasm approached you. Another few thrusts of Luffy’s tongue and you were gone. You clenched against the appendage, feeling it angle itself up and down, trying to collect every drop of cum that you had just released as you rode out your high.

“Luff-” you had begun to say as you felt his tongue leave your insides. He swallowed after a moment, licking his lips at the taste. He gave your pussy another lick, making sure all your wetness had made its way into his mouth.

Your pussy was dripping with spit and cum. You were shamelessly wet, your captain’s spit slipping out of you, and down your legs. You didn't know what to say, you had not been able to cum like that in far too long, and you refused to end it here.

You turned your head back, looking at your captain, his face now covered in your juices.

“How'd you learn to do that so well..” You asked weakly, you didn’t think you’d ever gotten head that good.

“What do ya mean?” Luffy asked, raising an eyebrow. “I just wanted to taste more of that pussy, you taste really good you know!” Luffy said entirely seriously.

Once again, a blush had found its way to your face. “Damn that’s so hot..” you mumbled to yourself, burying your face in your arms as you slowly lowered your backside now that you weren't being used like an ice cream machine. Luffy had different plans though.

You felt hands on your hips, pulling your ass back up into the air. You looked back at him, a lustful smile on his face.

“Tired already? I've only had a taste,” Luffy said, licking his lips. You were about to reply with a witty remark but were shut up by two fingers invading your entrance. “Mmm~” You moaned out as your eyes rolled back into your head, it seems your words would be limited as long as your captain kept surprising you like this.

“There's something I wanna check,” Luffy said, grabbing your thigh with one hand and fingering you with the other. “O..k.” you managed to get out as you felt Luffy’s fingers fuck you deep. His movements were, strange, their goal didn't seem to be teasing or getting you off, more like, he was looking for something.

Luffy's expression seemed determined and curious, seemingly trying to prove something. You were confused as to what at first before you felt him rub directly and aggressively against your g spot.

“OH, my fucking god-” You yelped as you felt his fingers press adamantly against that specific place. Luffy smiled at your reaction.

Luffy's fingers were no longer focused on thrusting in and out, but now they were circling your g spot adamantly.

Luffy took his hand off your thigh and moved it to your waist. He stretched his arm around your waist, holding you tightly and securely. He shifted his position, his other arm now having more room to do its thing. You weren't sure why he had suddenly changed your position, even if it was only slightly, but then your questions were once again swiftly answered.

Luffy thrust his fingers into you sharply and deeper than he had before, the tips of his fingers curled up specifically to touch the different feeling section of your pussy. You gasped extraordinarily loudly, trying your best to fuck yourself back on his fingers.

“Oh god Luffy, harder!” you said, your hips moving desperately against his fingers, Luffy still rubbing against that specific bundle of nerves deep inside you.

The sounds of squishing filled the deck beautifully. The incredibly lewd noise only made you wetter, making it easier for Luffy to slip another finger in, which he did.

Your thighs were dripping wet at this point, as you were desperate to cum once again as you begged and pleaded for Luffy to keep doing what he was doing.

“Please Luffy.” “don’t stop.” “Right there! Right there!” “fuck!” was all you could manage out as he fully obliged you.

His fingers furiously rubbing the spot inside you that made you go so crazy all of a sudden.

He rubbed fierce circles against that specific spot, making you plead and moan for him to continue, you were so close. “Cum..I’m gonna cum, Fuck-” you said impatiently, and not a moment later, you came all over Luffy’s fingers.

He continued to thrust his fingers inside, letting you ride out your high for the second time tonight.

You clenched against his fingers as you came harder than you had previously, your body giving out on itself as you did.

Luffy's arm held you safely up so you wouldn't fall onto the deck. He turned you around, giving you a smirk as he licked his fingers sloppily. “Fuck that’s hot..” you thought for the third time today as you pulled yourself closer to Luffy.

“I’ve never came that hard in my life, you knew exactly what to do huh?” you asked with a laugh and Luffy just raised an eyebrow at you, again.

“Not really I just wanted to know what that weird feeling spot inside you was,” he said and you stare blankly at him. “You gotta be kidding me..” you thought as you laughed.

“I was just wondering if it would make a difference if I rubbed against that spot real hard, it seems like I was right!.” he said with a snicker, proud of himself for giving you such a powerful orgasm.

You smiled slightly, you knew Luffy could do anything to you and you’d happily take it. You placed your hand on Luffy’s chest, your other hand sliding off his unbuttoned shirt.

“Why should you be fully clothed when I’m totally naked?” You asked, once again sliding your dripping heat on Luffy’s thigh, spit and cum making his leg glistened wetly.

This time, Luffy was the one with a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

You grinned at your accomplishment as you took off your captain's shirt, throwing it similarly to how he did your clothes.

You smiled at your achievement, sliding down his body, a hand on his chest, another on the extremely noticeable bulge in your captain's pants. You slid your tongue down Luffy's chest, stopping once you got to his stomach, and seeing his muscular frame.

You placed a kiss right above the seam of his pants, a soft moan being heard from above.

You couldn't help but feel cocky at your newfound position, it was your turn now to make Luffy moan.

You slid down his pants slightly, both of your hands placed on the seam, pulling it down to reveal an erect cock. It bounced slightly as it was pulled out, and you couldn't help but start to salivate at the sight. You looked up at your captain, a hand on the base of his cock, you placed your cheek against the side of it, licking your lips as you gazed into Luffy’s lidded eyes. You smirked and gave his tip a lick, then a kiss.

Your hand starts to move up and down Luffy’s length slowly, keeping your eye contact with him. You felt the lust in his eyes, he was clearly holding back earlier, allowing you to cum twice before he had even paid attention to himself. You purred at the thought, now was the time to show him your thanks.

You took the tip of him into your mouth, sucking ever so slightly as you tasted the precum that was already dripping from him. You took him deeper, inch by inch, slowly bobbing your head up and down on his length.

You felt a hand in your hair after a moment, and as you looked up, you saw a different expression from the usual carefree pirate. He was lustful, entirely and desperately, and it was all your doing. You smiled slightly as you took him deeper, the tip of his dick touching the back of your throat.

Luffy was bigger than you expected, though you were sure he could make himself bigger if he really wanted to.

You were glad for your former experience with blowjobs, or you would have certainly have been gagging by now.

“Shit..” you heard Luffy moan out as the grip in your hair became tighter. You felt a wave of pleasure wash over you at the feeling of Luffy tugging your head down ever so slightly.

You moaned, the vibrations making Luffy’s dick twitch inside of your mouth.

You slid your tongue against him, licking and sucking the tip with every thrust, up and down.

Then suddenly, you lifted your head up, eyes meeting your captains. Luffy looked back at you, you felt his dick twitch under your grip.

“Fuck my mouth, captain,” you said, noticing the hesitance of your captain. “Don't worry, i can take it,” you said proudly, and not a second later, your mouth was back onto his dick.

“God, you are irresistible.” Luffy groaned out as the grip in your hair grew much together than before, the tinge of painful strain being drowned out by the sensation of your captain's dick constantly hitting the back of your throat.

He slammed your head against his cock, tears welling up in the side of your eyes as you weren't expecting him to be so rough with you so quickly, but you weren't complaining.

Luffy had clearly been close for a while now, judging by down desperately and erratically he was using your mouth.

Spit dribbled out of your mouth, the sloppy pounding making your spit fling and drip down your chin.

You felt yourself become wetter and wetter at the thought of Luffy pounding into you the same way he was using your mouth right now. You moaned at the thought, a long drawn out “Mhmm..” causing Luffy to quicken his pace.

“I'm gonna cum..y/n..” Luffy said, his pace even more erratic than it was. You moaned, as a way of telling him to continue and he obliged.

Your head was pushed and pulled, his dick rubbing inside you as your tongue dragged and licked what it could.

“Fuck, fuck.” you heard Luffy say as he held your head down onto his dick tightly, his dick far deeper inside your mouth than you had thought possible.

You felt a warm liquid start to invade your mouth and you swallowed around his dick as he thrust into you a few more times to ride out his high.

You felt his cum slide down your throat and you hummed slightly as he pulled his dick out, panting slightly as he let go of your head, the sweet tinge of pain being lost.

You caressed your neck, thinking you might be sore the next few days. You looked at Luffy, licking the cum that dripped onto your lip.

“Yum,” you said playfully as you stared at your captain.

You stared at him, still lustful and concerned that the night would be cut short, but you then noticed his cock was still hard, twitching in front of you.

“You think you can go for another round?” you asked as you crawled on Luffy’s lap. You were still dripping wet, your insides throbbing at the thought of being absolutely fucked. You slid your pussy against the tip of Luffy’s dick, teasing him ever so slightly before you felt yourself slam down onto him. Luffy’s hands were on your hips, fucking you as you sat on his lap.

The thoughts you had were gone, you're only concerned with the pleasure you felt inside of you.

Shit Luffy,” you yelped, bouncing on top of him as he helped you steady. Your hands were on his shoulders, your moans becoming louder than before, some moans being borderline screams after a few harder thrusts.

You took Luffy’s lips against your, kissing sloppily and deeply, your tongues dancing together lustfully.

You bit your lip, about to say something witty, but you were cut off by a voice in the distance.

You froze, looking over your shoulder, you didn't see anything but the voice seemed to be calling out to you.

“Y/n Dear! Where'd you go?” You heard the cook call out, and a blush instantly formed in your face. Though the thought of being caught in the act wasn't a turn-off at all, you weren't sure how Sanji would react to Luffy being balls deep inside you out in the open.

“I made a drink for you!” he called out and you could practically hear the hearts in his eyes.

“Oh and Luffy if you're out here you can have on too I guess,” Sanji said, his tone much less excited.

You couldn't quite see him from where you two were, luckily there were boxes of supplies you had yet to put back from your shopping spree in the way, blocking the view.

You looked back at Luffy, a blush covering your face and neck, but Luffy had a smirk on his face. Your eyes widened as you knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Luffy you-” you whispered but were shut up by Luffy’s movement.

In almost an instant, you were flipped over, ass in the air once again but this time, instead of fingers invading your insides, it was Luffy’s dick.

You instantly covered your mouth with your hands, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you felt the intense sensation of being fucked. It had been far too long since you’d had a good fuck which only make you that more sensitive.

“Damn your tight..” Luffy whispered as he tightened his grip on your hips and began to slam into you. The noises that were being made only made your blush grow deeper. All you could do was tighten against his cock and muffle your moans as best as you could.

One thrust after another, you were breaking apart. Saliva was dripping all over your hands as your attempts to quiet yourself began to break apart.

“So..deep..” you mumbled quietly as you bit your finger, almost causing yourself to bleed.

Your vision was blurry with tears, you hadn't had pleasure like this in a while.

“Y/n! Where are you, sweetie! Come back, I miss you!” you heard Sanji shout flirtily. You opened your mouth to say something, but Luffy decided to thrust into you incredibly deep and all that came out was a pathetic whimper.

You mouthed the words, ‘Oh. my. God.’ to no one in particular as the sloppy, wet noises only became more noticeable.

Luffy held your hips tight, pounding into you hard, almost like he wanted you to make sounds and be found out by the cook.

The only things that left your mouth were breathy moans and desperate whines as you felt your orgasm start to creep up for the third time tonight. Your legs were shaking and Luffy knew you were close.

You heard footsteps and bit your arm desperately. You heard the steps go up and down the deck, then silence.

“Tch, bet Luffy made her play some dumb game with her,” he said as you heard him turn around. Your heart was beating incredibly fast, but as his footsteps faded it became slightly more regular.

You turned around to see the man who was buried inside of you and all you could see over your tear-filled eyes was a smirk. You opened your mouth but were cut off for the eighth time this evening.

“When you're done, come back inside, or the food will go to waste,” Sanji shouted and all you could do was moan.

Seemed like Sanji knew you two were doing something out here, but not exactly what which was somewhat comforting. You weren't sure if the loud wet slapping sounds gave him an idea of what you two were up to but it didn't seem like he did.

You breathed out, not realizing you were holding your breath as you felt another deep thrust. Hard, deep, and fast. Your pussy couldn’t take this kind of loving abuse for much longer.

You clenched around him and finally let your voice out, moaning far louder than you intended.

“Oh fuck Luffy, you’re gonna make me cum again,” you said breathily, your pussy just about as wet as it could be as the deep thrusts of your captain egged on your release.

“Me too, Y/n,” he said breathily as his thrusts began to quicked. You tightened around him and bit your lip. “Yes, Yes, Right There!” you yelled as you came on his dick. His thrusts continued through your third orgasm and a few moments later, you felt the warm release of your captain as well.

He stayed inside of you for a few seconds after two, the more thrusts then he pulled out, cum dripping out of your pussy and onto the deck of the sunny.

You finally collapsed on the hardwood deck as you panted, feeling completely satisfied.

“You're ..so..” you started to say. “Good..” you managed to get out as you felt arms wrap around you. Luffy leaned you against him, giving you a kiss on the cheek. You cuddled up into him and all you could do was smile at what happened.

You laughed and kissed him back.

“Let's do this again huh..?” you asked and closed your eyes, your head leaning against his chest.

“Only if you say you love me,” Luffy said and your smile only grew wider.

“How could I not love you, captain?” you asked playfully as you two recovered from the night's events.

“Damn, that was hot.” the swordsman said as he looked out of the crows nest and onto the deck, seeing the scene that had unfolded under him.

Zoro stroked his dick, his thumb pressing the tip of it as precum started to seep out.

“What I wouldn't do for a night with her..” he said to himself, a hand brushing through his green hair, another adamantly stroking his cock. He smirked at himself, thinking of what he was going to do to you as soon as he had you alone.

There’s a part 2 on my Ao3 if you’re interested lol- ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/30691979 )

Anyways- I do requests so feel free to suggest some fic ideas!

[sunderedandundone]

Possibly controversial [Dark Crystal SkekGra/UrGoh] HCs

Or I don't even know if it IS HC so much as kind of an inverse HC, in that it's a place where like 90% of the fandom seems to HC in stuff that I don't? Here we go. Please be gentle. As always, I pledge to the flag of #AllHCAreValid.

I think Gra and Goh are incredibly lonely out there in the desert, and aren't at all enjoying that aspect of their lives.

I mean, I would hope this WOULDN'T be that controversial? After all, these are characters whose very titles establish that they like to go around Thra and interact with all its lifeforms and stuff (the *form* the interaction took might've varied, but...)

And when the Gelfling show up on their doorstep, Gra is more hype than a golden retriever puppy. Mind you, we can and should attribute part of this to drugs, and part of this to the sheer pleasure of knowing one's many-trine-long shop projects were not wasted and the Hail Mary pass to save Thra and make themselves whole has finally connected.

But even given that, they just seem SO super hyped that I have to think that, y'know, birb who's had no or very little social stimulation in hundreds of trine miiiight feel a little relieved to be entertaining company. :-)

The only reason I even 'worry' this is controversial is because so many fanficcers -- and I mean from the really-great to the not-so-great -- seem to treat the half an Age the two spend at the Circle of the Suns like...almost a couples getaway? A blessed idyll? And they do this with such light, offhanded assurance, as though it's one of those things of which the Dothraki say, It Is Known.

Again, #ALLHCAREVALID, but I personally find this difficult to get...*as* someone who's been gifted with what I well know is the sheer dumb cosmic luck of living many many years with my True Love, or what's surely within a degree of the closest to true love as exists on mortal earth. Like, I am exceedingly, eternally grateful.

It's just that...and I hope I'm not bursting the bubble here...even the Truest love is still hard work, it won't last if you don't work it, and even if you really really do it can still end. And no matter how goopy goo-goo eyes y'all are in the relationship's first stages, eventually everybody but the most intro introverts is going to find that the company of one person is just not enough to make a livable life out of. It just isn't. I heartily wish each and every person who actually desires a True Love in this life to acquire one -- but just know that it's not like in the movies. It's not even going to be easier than your other less-epic relationships were. Maybe in some ways harder, in fact.

It'll just be more *worth* the agony.

Even that, you might sometimes doubt. But in the end there's something hard to describe that still makes it worth it. That's the main difference I've discerned. <--[[NB: *Does not* apply to abusive lovers]]

Being forever out in the neverwhere alone with your love for an indefinite period isn't a recipe for wedded bliss. It's a recipe for driving yourselves and each other to drink. Ask like 2/3rds of retired couples, especially the ones where one or both partners were working outside the house AND (points at this and points AT SKEKGRA) deriving their identity from their work -- and then suddenly......not.

Once more, #ALLHCAREVALID and I have seen this trope written beautifully and I have enjoyed reading those beautiful pieces, but strictly from a suspending-disbelief standpoint just...no. Also I have to admit, something in me rebels at the idea that NOTHING of what the Skeksis (AND Mystics, in my telling) go out of their way to make an *especially painful* punishment is really -- sticking around in any meaningful way. That they're just like "oh welp, like we care, what more to life is there than making puppets, smokin' that crack, and each other." To me, it kinda cheapens the sting of the whole banishment, and I feel like it should have ongoing sting. The nail is NOT self-installed, and the exile is NOT a blissful retirement to the Bahamas.

On that note:

2. I seem to be one of the very few people in the fandom who doesn't ship them in the *traditional* sense, either.

I mean, I know. It's fandom. Fandom seems, from this relative newb's perspective, to be ~70% about sex no matter what the IP. :-) So I shouldn't be surprised to find myself in a minority.

And a minority many of whose fellow occupants I find odious because a lot of them are in the "no homo" school, or else the school of "Henson was a nonsexual, anerotic, angelic being who would've been SCANDALIZED by people writing sex scenes with his characters, even though he gave the Jen puppet an entirely extraneous wang AND started *The Dark Crystal* with an Edenic scene of nude Jen saved from an R rating *only* by a literal strategically-placed leaf." Like, just in case any parents in the audience needed the warning that this was not a small-kids, fluffy movie. ^^ (Funny thing is, I took it totally in stride as a kid watching it in the theater run. It was only on rewatch as an adult that I was like "HOLY SHIT was Henson making a statement with this, and oh God no *wonder* this quasi-flopped, people surely must have thought this was weird and Inappropriate for Children -- even though I of course still think it isn't.")

Yeah, nah. Are you kidding me? This is a puppeteer who grew up in the *40's/50's in Mississippi* and then ran off to TVLand in the 60's to eventually make tons of money off his weirdness. OF COURSE HE WAS A FREAK, and you know what? I find that wonderful news. (Bro, have you even heard the Frank Oz funeral-eulogy story? *QE fucking D*.)

But then when I go to explain that I don't conceive of Gra/Goh as a conventional romance but as something that kinda transcends any experience us single beings can know, other fen think that I am dissing Mere Romance and Mere Sex as being beneath me, or beneath the characters. Again -- hell no. Good, believable, stirring romance and sex are hard as hell to write and my respect for those who can do it is very high. And romance and sex IRL? They are awesome. Five stars. <3

I'm just saying these are literally personality-instanced aliens, is all.

I am officially agnostic, though I have my private opinions subject to change without notice, about whether Skeksis/Mystics have any kind of reproductive equipment. Or anything like what modern humans consider 'erotic' feelings (physical or mental). There are valid cases for and against. And although I don't personally write such content, I don't object to the depiction of erotic or sexual activity between Gra/Goh either. Hell, IF they had the slightest capacity for it and they thought for one single instant it might help them rejoin into their UrSkek, I think it's safe to assume they 'd try it at least once for that reason alone.

I just want the dyad to be something beyond that. And again, I don't mean beyond as in superior. I mean beyond as in Other, as in alien, as in behind a paywall very few other beings can get through in their mortal lifetime. And yes, as in spiritual -- though for a third time, I'm not parsing 'spiritual' as 'better than affairs of the mere flesh.'

And I try very hard to make sure I write it *as* that -- to make sure that I'm not just doing a deep platonic friendship (as wonderful as those are) or a 'brotherly' relationship, but putting in material that sorta blurs the very boundary of the self, the definition of personality, the idea that a person can only be in one place at a time.

As I go, in fact, it's developed almost toward an idea of the Skeksis and Mystic personas being *masks* or *roles*, on some fundamental level -- a self-illusion that each half occasionally, disconcertingly, briefly becomes aware of here and there, but then almost always panics and buries. I'm talking about, you could have one of those Shakespearian SkekVar/SkekSo scenes going, and all of a sudden poor SkekVar realizes that NONE of this is actually the General talking to the Emperor at all -- it's *VarMa talking to SoSu*. Only for some bizarre dream-logicky reason, they're wearing these weird faces and playing these weird murderbird characters...almost like they're onstage in a play they somehow can't opt out of acting in. And when they want to relate to the others of their kith, somehow, it can only ever be through the filter of this mask. So they're never saying what they truly want to say to the other Twice-Nine, or even usually thinking what they want to think; instead, the *best* they can ever do is grope blindly toward each other's souls, trying to interpret the hazy signal of the other Ur/Skek through this noise of these adopted personae -- and why bother because it's all fake anyhow -- but then if it's fake, why is it all they know, and nothing they can seem to escape from?

And *that* would within about 3/4ths of a second be FAR too much for a simple birb like SkekVar to deal with. So the most signal you'd ever get from them that it'd even happened is merely ::snort:: :-D And pretty soon the episode of ego-vertigo would dissipate -- drowned in the bodily experience of the normal persona with extreme prejudice aaand probably a lot of food and booze. ^^ There'd still be mysterious moments in which, however many leagues apart, Var and Ma would briefly seem not like 'opposites' but like a resonant pair, almost as if they had some shared nature and path after all...this is something, though, that only the very few who get to see both sides (*such* as Gra and Goh --or perhaps on the longer scale, Aughra) might have any inkling of.

See what I mean though? It's hard to even articulate! Because it kinda should be, I guess. :-D I guess that's my point.

Again, #ALLHCAREVALID! This is simply what *I* *me* *personally* want to do with the opportunity that the divided-soul trope in DC represents. I enjoy giving Gra and Goh these experiences of disrupted self within my fiction. (Btw, apparently LSD &c primarily work THROUGH disrupting the part of the brain responsible for a sense of distinct self :-( #Imjustsayin #urdrupes)). And I enjoy looking through their eyes to see the selves of the other UrRu/Skeksis -- showing the personalities of the latter to be blurrier and more self-contradictory than one would have thought, as well.

And then, by contrast, the fleeting moments where Gra/Goh do experience something close to full unity -- be it achieved by a vision or a dream or let's be honest drugs -- would be way more intense to them than what you or I could possibly experience. Us being people who get to just blithely go about all day sure of our unified self, at least 99% sure of where the border between us and the rest of *idam*, this thing, All There Is, lies. (The other 1% is called either "satori" or "hallucinogenic therapy"/"ayahuasca experience"/etc. :-) )

We aren't without our times of not being sure who the hell we are or which of two completely incompatible things we want, of course. Which is why UrSkeks and the divided-soul trope writ large have relevance to human experience. We all have our times. But most of us don't have it often enough to even come close to fucking up our faaairly comfortable everyday sense of "I am this person and this is what I'm about." :-) These tree aliens are a different matter.

So it's not a problem with romance at all? ...It's more a devotion to the idea of the Otherness and alienness of the thing, because I personally feel like that's what Henson and definitely Froud were kinda trying to get at with the UrSkeks, and with what is eventually big-Revealed about the Skeksis and Mystics' true nature. (I remember that moment, too, in the theater. It was my first encounter with the trope and it was a bit mind-blowing. Like, that method of resolving protagonist/antagonist conflict in a story had honestly never occurred. ...I do have the excuse of being, what, nine or so? :-D But still. Striking. And I liked it.)

Anyway. Seemingly unusual, possibly controversial, hopefully not of such a nature though as to get anyone actually mad. ^^