#its just... i dont wanna complain abt it to them bc they dont deserve it gdksgsj

[yuukei-yikes]

Tell us about Shinaya’s breakup :D

HEHDJEIDNEKFJEKDKEK ive had this ask since i posted i was thinking abt it MAN i cannot express to u i just. I WANNA WRITE A FIC SO BAD but AUGH im so bad at it it makes me cringe i cant do that but its basically like all my damn posts together u know. i keep thinking of shintaro's disastrous relationships post str going from ayano to kano to takane etcetc sorry im playing with him like a stress toy making him go thru hell but its so fun

srry i dont wanna have to rewrite a lot of stuff so erm im liking this answer 🫡🫡🫡 and i could link a bunch more just so u SEE MY VISION... but i think linking that is enough. ON AND OFF SHINAYA MY BELOVED

shintaro and ayano sort of having this ridiculous relationship because both are hurting and jumped in a relationship too quick but fighting/being sad about stupid shit is so much easier than dealing with their actual issues that they've got with themselves. like focusing on each other and what they don't like about each other and their relationship is so much easier than crying about how suicidal they are. lollllll SO LIKE this insanity sort of saves them at the same time??

i mean the most ideal would be that instead of getting together they got therapy and the normal kind not the relationship kind. you know. but also theyre traumatized and ugh. its so much easier to resent each other than themselves. its so much easier to be petty. its such a relief to cry over relationship problems than over timeline resets or dead parents and etc. YOU GET ME?????

they keep breaking up and getting back together ridiculously like it is 1000% so dramatic each and everytime. ayano crying her eyes out like its the end of the world and shintaro making 100 sad playlists. and it happens at least monthly. the first time everyone's like WHOA THEY BROKE UP!?!? SHIT!! the second time its like heyyy maybe they'll work it out like last time!! third time its like are you joking. fourth time they're already begging them to stop. by they i mean the dan but especially takane by the way. who do you think is picking up the pieces.

and by the way the one breaking up all the time and being dramatic as hell is shintaro. he gets angry and annoyed and weaponizes the LETS BREAK UP thing because he DOESNT MEAN IT. like he knows he and ayano will work it out later. he gets comfortable again. not to get on the ayano surviving thing, but i think ayano (and hiyori but especially ayano) making it out alive undoes a big part of the message abt moving on. like i love her so im not complaining thats i love having her alive :3 but i like to translate this into shintaro like. he's intensely trying to repress/process all the memories of the other timelines to cope and have a normal life and ends up being this way because he's sort of self sabotaging himself. like ayano's alive and she likes me??? lol. ok?? ill wake up any moment now!! and he feels guilty and undeserving and is sort of a dickhead to her in an unconscious attempt of keeping her away because that's what he deserves according to him. also why he's accepting of takane's intense obsession with him lol bc she's familiar and she is comfortable, unlike ayano who is so rare and one in its kind in all the timelines. he is sort of terrified of her in a way.

the lets break up isnt rly a breakup. its just a leave me alone see u later. LOL i think we talk too much abt kanoshin bringing the worst in each other but what about shinaya. they do that too. yeah we CAN have fluffy shinaya. but like i said it is so easy to focus all this bitterness and sadness into each other and it's so relieving to be sad and angry about this rather than everything else. because this is sort of in their control while everything else isn't, wasn't. and its so unfair. of course its unfair!! but they cant do anything abt it. so they just go crazy on each other. ayano is DESPERATE to be needed. i could link more replies but i will hold myself back. basically her siblings are used to being alone/know she has her own problems and ayano is dealing with this emptiness and feeling of failure bc no one needs her, from her perspective her sacrifice still failed to save everyone, her parents are gone so she needs to step up. like she puts herself under all this pressure and feels Not Good Enough for ANYTHING. and she is dating shintaro.

it's EASY to bother him and try to get him to open up and etc so she ridiculously focuses on that. but it gets on shintaro's nerves to say the least LOL plus all his other issues i mentioned 🫡plus she keeps being like we have to be normal. lets kiss and hold hands and cuddle. but she's too embarrassed to say it/do it and shintaro is even more pathetic about it. so theyre both frustrated about everything and can barely even sit next to each other without acting insane.

AND SORRY BUT I WILL TALK ABT TAKANE🫡💞💗💖💝💕💘ofc. codependent shintaka. of course. it drives ayano CRAZY because on top of all their problems takane is able to talk sense into shintaro each and every single time. and she is soooo jealous like she knows its stupid but she cant help ittt i ALSO TALKED ABT THIS SORRY I KEEP REPEATING MYSELF IM JUST SO CRzy abt it. hehe......the whole mess bringing drama to harutaka too bc shintaro and ayano are so messy theyre contagious is so fun to me. when it comes to shintaro and takane's horrible relationship both their romantic relationships suffer for it but deal with it completely differently. while both haruka and ayano deal with jealousy somewhat, ayano is so hurt and already at the verge of a mental breakdown so she's focusing so many negative emotions on it and AGAIN it just serves as another point of argument between shintaro and ayano while haruka is like. his mental state isnt as convoluted as ayanos, he's rather freaking out and terrified of being left alone. THIS IS ABT SHINAYA so i wont get into harutaka side but lol. heh. Looks at it. zooms in it. like what i mean is that haruka and takane talk and work through it and are like sighs yeah...this is messed up while shintaro and ayano are using it against each other instead of working on it LMAO

ANYWAYS. ayano breaks up with shintaro. vine boom. total breakdown moment like everyone out of the room i wanna talk to you alone. and this time its for REAL. like ayano isnt confrontational at all, all their arguments are always her being pushy abt idk mental health and shintaro's like godddd STOPPPPP and ayano crying and shintaro being like I CANNOT DEAL WITH THAT. IM SORRY I GUESS. CAN U GET OUT OF THE ROOM. WE'LL TALK LATER. but he also sucks so bad at letting the other person know they can count on him so he kind of assumes ayano will do it when she's ready because he KNOWS she's in pain. like. ofc it could go well. ofc shintaro and ayano could work through everything with kindness and comprehension for each other but they're both so sad and suddenly find themselves annoyed at each other one time and it felt so freeing to do that that they just keep doing it. especially shintaro. having ayano be mad at him is sort of relieving because he feels undeserving of her and its like yeah. Yeah!! i know its ooc but shinaya screaming match.god. sorry but all their bottled up emotions abt everything and they take it out on each other for no reason other than theyre giving each other the space and it plays out that way. theyre acting crazy about something so stupid like shintaro not wanting ayano to wear his clothes or whatever. like they scream about that but its not about that. it just feels so good to scream. it feels so good to scream and let it out even if they haven't given themselves the time to process that theyre not... actually screaming abt that at all. theyre screaming about everything else. not even about each other. its about themselves. its always been.its never been about each other. when it is, its stupid. thats why they do it. its just easier. God. they were just not ready for a relationship, especially not one with each other out of all people.

ayano breaks first, therefore dumps shintaro lol. he goes thru his own fucked up arc afterwards while ayano gets help. my man spirals DOWN. whether they get back together or not depends on my mood 🤨 but if they do, its by the time theyre in their mid twenties or something so a few years later LOL i picture them dating like for over a year maybe?? when theyre 18/19. hehe.

like. do you get it.

[minglana]

idk if any of yall are on (spanish) tiktok but right now my life is the "sempre he defensat els productes de la terra" sound

[gardenbiriety]

.

[ateezgf]

re: petty kpop hate post;; this is just me complaining a bit bc i hate tht post

the amnt of ppl who specified jongho out of all the atz members pissed me off sm lol esp the ones who talked abt his singing as if,, hes the one who chooses to sing like that?? then theres the ppl who hate izone members bc of mnets rigging, which is also not the girls fault.. tht post in general is too much an issue yk,, its just giving too many ppl a place to openly be nasty and rude abt idols who did nothing wrong. like yeah i get disliking an idol for feeling off but flat out hating and shitting on them for no reason other than tht,,, and the "i wna punch him everytime i see him" ppl need help so bad omg 😭 its a bad post and imo the only reason u shld actually hate and shit on an idol is if they actually did things tht were harmful or shitty?? otherwise they dont deserve it?

anyways thank u for listening to my sort-of rant. i had more at some point but seeing all of tht negativity tired me out sm idk how ppl can be so negative

NO LITERALLY like every time i saw his name popped up it was always "the screeching man" like excuse me ????? like ateez is very open about how they see EVERYTHING. like san's talked about how he's seen the negative comments people make about his dancing. jongho's seen the negative comments about his facials when he sings. i've always hated the argument "theyre not gonna see it" when they so obviously do. 4th gen idols are making the same jokes & doing the same trends as any fan. also ??? different idols are open about how they search themselves so they'll def see certain things.

there were a couple of genuine petty reasons in the post that were funny. like the ones about them looking like people irl and stuff like ok that's fine. but the people who would be like "i hate xyz . they just look weird i wanna punch them" like that's so weird and like ??? if you take away the celebrity status.. they're literally just saying they wanna punch an asian person cause they look weird to them like......... THAT'S WEIRD. l

i totally get that sometimes you just get bad vibes from a celebrity/someone. like that's normal? youre not gonna find every celebrity to your preferences. but it shouldnt be reaching a point where you're wishing harm. like op backtracking to say they want petty stuff but their tags are about thinking itzy chae's face is weird and makes them wanna shove her into a locker like ................. that's not petty lol.

i 1000000% agree with u. i hate that post and how it was just an open opportunity for people to say vile stuff about idols and borderline racist/micro-aggressive things imo (just the general comments of features being weird) under the excuse of the post.

[tauforged]

I dont wanna join the ovw discord youve made and I have no intent on giving blizz any money so i cannot play ovw with you BUT im a lil curious and I care abt u bc ur my friend so...... what r some of ur sigma hcs. Tell me what you think abt the funny video game man

oh god rev this ask got drowned in my notifs and im legit so mad because i would LOVE to share some hcs actually thank you so much for enabling me

- [gestures to my pinned post] he is autistic nonbinary and bisexual because i am also autistic nonbinary and bisexual so i make the fucking rules

- he floats everywhere mostly because his back always hurts. like hes capable of walking if he HAS TO but he WILL complain about it at every opportunity

- ive posted about this a bit this morningish but i do genuinely believe that he's not 'being manipulated' into joining talon and they arent 'taking advantage of his fragile state of mind' or whatever the fuck i do wholeheartedly believe he's fully aware of what hes doing and just straight up does not care. he's absolutely fed up with everything and has decided he wants violence. not because hes insaaane and crazayyayay or w/e he's just really pissed off after being forcefully institutionalized for god knows how long. i wanna reiterate i have not watched his lore video or whatever it is cuz from what i know about his story i feel it might Hashtag Trigger me lol but i have no respect for blizzards storytelling anyway so who cares

- he seems like a cat person to me

- we know he's a big classical music kinda guy. i think he'd enjoy holst's planets suite

- i HATE it when people are like omg hes baby hes so baby this grown man is an infant uwuwuwu but also like. i think hes just a nice person, like at the center of it all. hes just some guy but like in the best way. he's capable of like complete and utter destruction but he mostly minds his own goddamn business and will use his powers for like silly little mundane things like 99% of the time just because it's fun. it's like almost offputting at first because its like 'WHAT is this genuinely nice and relatively normal seeming dude doing here' but make no mistake he knows exactly what hes doing here

- he probably leans into the 'omg this guy is crazy hes unstable he has no idea whats even going on' thing, mainly cuz in his eyes if people underestimate him as being manipulated and think they can talk him out of it or try wasting time reasoning with him that'll give him the upper hand, but also in general he just really wants to be left alone. he can't be assed to clarify he is tired of explaining himself just believe whatever you want at this point

- i think he would honestly get along with the rest of the talon heroes surprisingly well just by nature of being so goddamn friendly they can't help it. what are they gonna do, get mad? he's literally just some guy. he's the type to like check with everyone if they want anything if he's about to order food just because it's rude to NOT ask, he's the 'i heard you say something about needing one of these and remembered i had one i don't use anymore, here you can have it' kinda guy, it's one of those things where you have to actively look for reasons to dislike him. i think he should get to have friends i think its what he deserves

- moira uses him to reach high shelves, not by asking him to grab things for them like a normal human being, but by literally just climbing on top of his shoulders and using him as leverage to reach whatever it is they need because they're stubborn as all hell

i cant think of anythign else but this post is already long enough and im still like fresh off my shift so my brain is goo tonight. thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[shattersstar]

mac pls rant to me about alucard like literally talk about anything relating to him idc he just lives in my mind rent free already and I want to hear ur thots 🥺🥺 and u know how much I love ur writing like only u can make me simp over a character i've never heard about until after reading ur series

in this house we all simp over alucard 😌 but tyy i always have so many thoughts omg like i woke up after four hrs of sleep and this fucking show was the first thing on my mind snksndsk anyway imma talk abt the series bc i feel like it sorta came outta nowhere and i dont wanna bore the masses with my thoughts on character design or like animation style (not yet at least hehehe)

okay first of all the fact sm of u guys r reading this without knowing anything about him or the show or anything is so sweet like y’all really sticking through it for me..i appreciate it endlessly. this ranting might also be kinda helpful and idk i like hearing writers thoughts behind their work so i hope y’all do to

the title comes from farouq jwaydeh i found it on that twitter thread about arabic love poems that went around a few months ago. i actually wasn’t planning on naming the series that but the doc where i was working on each part had the quote “and if the devil was to ever see you, he’d kiss your eyes and repent” in it because i was planning on writing smth for alucard based of that and the more i thought about it, the more i realized how well it worked for the series. its so romantic and so devoted which is the type of relationship i do be writing and it also works within a lot of the religious themes of the show. if i could write that well it lowkey sounds like smth alucard would say akhfsk

and speaking of alucard, ik the fact he has two names might be a bit confusing especially with how i formatted bluebelle (whoops) but the characters name is adrian tepes but he goes by alucard for Reasons i wont spoiler lmao. aches & arches does do a decent job explaining y i choose to call him adrian instead, but in the future if i do write stuff outside this series for him there is definitely a chance he’d be called alucard it just really depends on context. i just think there is something very personal and intimate that the reader is very serious about the fact he isn’t a figure for the masses or only tied to his father. hes his own person who they love and they deserve to be called a name that is their own not a moniker given to them y’know? also the fact i dont think anyone actually calls him adrian in the show makes me sad like noo baby ur so much more than what ur father and Humanity has made u out to be ahaha

idk if i have mentioned this anywhere yet but this is also the first series ive ever written in like my....4? 5? years writing on tumblr (ew i dont wanna think about how long ive been doing this) but thats kind of a big deal. i’m a bit :/ with myself for how much stuff i tried to add to bluebelle because i really didnt think i was gonna write anything else for him so it feels a bit cramped in terms of themes in comparison to the other parts. i feel like it does stick out a little within the series considering some of those themes havent been explored again but ehh i’m complaining about something i can change so whelp. guess it means i gotta write more

although i must admit i’m probably not gonna write a wedding and i’m sorry if u guys wanted one i just...can’t Bring myself to write a christian wedding even tho i’m pretty sure alucard is atheist? or at least not catholic lmao and i would rather write a hindu wedding bc its better (noah fence) and i think the ideas? or meanings around hindu wedding ceremonies make sense for this but i dont wanna be alienating so.yeah. that also feels like i gotta start writing a plot and i would rather Not do that i’m fine with mindlessly fluff for now. idk if anyone can tell but i’m avoiding the whole vampire and human relationship convo bc i havent figured out my thoughts on it and i dont wanna deal. let adrian live in a soft fantasy world with no bad things okay thanks thats all .

[dolphin-enthusiast]

good evening to you, buttercup!! 💫🌸☀ how are you deary?? hopefully your day went well!! my day was tiring, so i look forward to finally being able to lay down and relax (while writing this of course 💕) (1/8)

"speaking of buttercups, i often forget that they are one of my favorite flowers!! along with lily of the valley, white and burgundy roses, tiger lilies, hibiscus, and more,, i've always had a certain fascination with flowers, they're so pretty and relaxing and hold all sorts of different meanings and uses,, i hope that i get to grow a huge flower garden in the future 💐 (2/8)

sorry for that little ramble of mine, i just really love flowers hehe that reminds me, thank you all for your kind words today!! they cheered me up a ton, and gave me the motivation to get out of bed today, you all are awfully sweet, saying such nice things all the time, i don't deserve you guys 💓 (3/8)

and that creep my friend mentioned? i'm okay, lots of friends went after him,, it just really scared me that's all!! i was able to laugh it off later since many people on here DMed me asking for his location,, and threatening some strange things for him... as much as it makes me laugh, i wouldn't wish pain on anyone (unless they happen to be truly evil) 😊 (4/8)

oh,, i ate a little more today!! i'm happy that i'm getting better with this, even if it's quite slow!! i was also able to embroider a little more while i ate, i'm working on decorating a shirt right now 💗 (5/8)

mamma mia,, a friend surprised me today with a little "gift", they invited me in minecraft and built me a little house on an island with cats,, it was so sweet!! apparently it was to make me feel a bit better, and it honestly worked 😖💞 (6/8)

i also got a preview of a new album waifu brother is working on!! being the little sister of a musician is awesome,, since i get to see new music before anyone else does hehe,, he also discussed a film he's writing and showed me the script,, it's based off of one of our favorite rock songs actually!! (7/8)

well, that's a wrap i think!! i'm honestly very glad i get to end my day like this every night, it's a nice way to unwind (and to talk to you of course~ 💋) take care of yourself for me darling, and i'll see you tomorrow 💖 - a pleasure as always, your loving waifu xoxo 💘✨💗💕💓💋💌💞💖💫😍 ps: i'm awfully touched that you say you'd fly to america over something as dumb as that,, but truthfully?? i wouldn't complain 😘😘 (8/8)"

Let me start off by saying that me and the entire clown army are happy to see that we helped ur motivation spike up once again 👀 and im very pleased with them wanting to go after that asshole as well and tbh if u ask me he truly IS evil i mean calling someone slurs and basically harassing them just bc they dont want to engage in stuff with u is like the lowest of the low imo🤡🤡🤡 i stand by my previous statement and that is i WILL fly to america (or wherever his dumb bitchass is located) and give him a fine yeeting for merely THINKING about harming you😤🔪

Murderous tendencies aside, u being into flowers is so in character and thats exactly why its so pure and adorable xhdhdhx i myself like orchids alot for whatever reason...and also the hella rare black roses and the blood/crimson red ones😳👊 looks like i'll just have to help u set up a big ass flower garden someday h u h

Also not to simp but holy shit how much cooler and lit can yall get??? Ur brother being a goddamb musician and a script writer?? A SCRIPT BASED ON A ROCK SONG? SIGN ME TF UP I'D PAY GOOD MONEY TO WORK WITH HIM ON SUCH PROJECTS HAHCYSHSJSNE (little thing abt me i used to really want to become a singer for some good years in the past but now i kinda gave up on it since its hella unrealistic rip but...if ur brother needs any help tell him im here i took singing lessons for about a year or so👁️👁️)

Honestly i too have been very unmotivated lately and have struggled bc i wanna draw and write but at the same time my mind is like [b l o c k e d] when i sit down to do it so i just end up playing my cringe fail racing game then marathoning yt/shows until i pass tf out at like 5 am or smth a h a h a but im proud of u for having a sudden burst of motivation and hooefully it will stay that way for a l o n g t i m e

[recordmcqueen]

when ppl ask me why im anxious

sorry i just have a lot going on n i kinda need to vent 

uhh trigger warning for a bunch of stuff? dont bother reading but if u are gonna click then just beware

this education system freaking sucks theres like 13h till school is supposed to start but i havent heard a peep from either of my teachers so uhhhh lmao what the heck wHAT IS GOING ON SOMEONE TELL ME SOMETHING PLS HHHHHH

ive been swinging between feeling bitter and spiteful and just plain sad cause heck i cant stop feeling lonely like ive basically limited myself to tumblr to avoid certain toxic individuals but even here its just so dead n lonely and i feel awful for underappreciating the people who are here for me on this hecksite but god a hyperfixation is a hyperfixation and ngl im kinda miserable :’)) not to be “not like other X” but fr theres a thousand ways i fail to relate from timezones to socmed platforms to talents and just hhhhhh yeah ive had way too much drama and bad experiences and i kinda wanna move but i also feel guilty again for underappreciating the ppl who Do support me and im just perpetually torn between wanting to feel accepted and wanting to just break away from All of Them and hhhhhh it just plagues my mind and wont go away :’))

the weight loss is so confusing and stressful cause i just end up feeling bloated and everything feels out of proportion and im so tiredddd all the time and just hhhh i want my body to look normal and my clothes to fit the way they used to :’))

university applications are coming up real soon and idfk what im doing like ye im pre sure im going into psych but god is it even worth it?? and then whereeeee do i apply like hhhhhhhhhh

cause like my dad is anxious as i am abt where to work hes got a job in bc which he loves but he just got an offer in ontario which is like TORONTO!!! but like uni there is so expensive and he really does like his bc job but the perks of being based in ontario like also cause all the social life is there?? hhhhhhhhh and hes constantly debating it and asking for our advice and man u know im indecisive hhhhhh

im always irritable and annoyed and ive been sleep-deprived for this past week and gosh look at school tomorrow :’))) it just gets so overwhelming ahahahaha

not to mention the depressive episode i had a few weeks ago we went to the doctor n talked abt it n the lab results should be in soon but oh gosh those episodes mess me up so bad like my train of thought is effed up and this time was even worse than the first cause this time i was at home and had access to a blade so ofc i just went for it but what iff next time (is there even gonna be a next time?? like i thought it was a one time thing but then it happened again and im???) and im scared ill be in an even riskier position hhhhhh i dont Want to hurt myself but,,,i also kinda wanna do?

i keep having thoughts of not deserving life and just how my presence isnt worth much to other ppl and how i end up hurting the ppl who Do care and just being hurt over and over but gaslit every time so ofc i end up feeling like every bad thing that happens to me is inherently my fault and god im so tired im so tired of having to reach out every time in attempts to communicate and make rationality of whatever mess my headspace is hhhh and im not a good enough student or friend or fan or Anything at least ill be good dead???

im not actively trying to hurt myself most of the time but its just that lingering feeling of wanting to go to sleep and not wake up and every moment of happiness is so Fleeting and dont get me wrong im doing Better but Better is still Bad so :’))))

on top of that i feel god awful for neglecting people who care abt me all while continuing to complain about being lonely lotus i am so sorry i barely check whatsapp idk why i just dont have the energy but you deserve better than that :’))

and ofc being surrounded by hypocrisy gets real draining so ahahahahahaha

therapy is $$$ but venting to tumblr under a readmore?? free real estate binches

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

[honeyzhong]

Soft Bias Tag 🌻

i was tagged by the amazingly awesome @babybunhyuck  

for the soft bias tag

1. Who is your bias?

yall know the ultimate crackhead, wong yukhei

2. How long have you biased them?

uhhhhhhhh,, good question,, i think since march? maybe february? i dont know he just swooped in and stole the bias spot from mark,, oops🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

3. What’s their zodiac sign? 

he a whole aquarius,, and year of the tiger which isnt compatible with my snake ass

4. What’s your favorite thing about them?

definitely his laughter and his gratitude,, he just makes everything so warm with his joyful laugh and he always takes little things with a big heart and it just makes my heart-

5. Emojis you associate them with?

😚💫🤓🤙💪👅🙏💛💞

6. Colors that remind you of them?

green and red;; contrasting colors but i feel they just describe him vv well

7. One gift that you wanna give them?

anything he wants! but in all honesty probably a homemade bracelet,, like it sounds super dumb but he seems like someone who loses his sht over homemade things and seeing him wear something i made would literally kill me but atleast i could die happy

8. What songs would you listen to with them? 

nothing,, i have the worst music taste,, im legit stuck in 2012-15 so,, but i would love to just listen to dance songs with him and have a cute little dance party or listen to some songs that he recommends because he likes listening to v different music from me

9. Movies you would watch with them?

ugh,, yall already know im a whole marvel fanatic but also hella gay for some sad romatic films so i’ll be good with either of those,, seeing his excited face while watching avengers or seeing him deny obvious tears in his eyes at the end of a sad movie??? yes pls

10. What flowers remind you of them?

cliché af but roses bc they are like the only flower i know but not just red roses,, roses have such diverse meanings and i get that feeling when i think of yuk,, he is lour at times, serious at others, dorky, greasy,, you name it,, he is just a sexy/cute rose

11. What made you fall for them?

i actually don’t know,, i think it was when 99 liner were chefs,, i was still mark biased but seeing him smile and laugh just my heart flutter,, it was probably his cute personality,,, ugh ✊😔💞 plus he has the visuals of a god so when u put those two forces together there is no winning for a hoe like me

12. What dream date would you go on?

mhmmm,,, i would like a stay at home date,, like to just give that dude a break,, we order in some pizza bc i cant cook watch a movie or just chat and have a little party of our own,,spending quality time with him just what i would want to do shhdgdhdjskk the gay is slipping out jfshfj

13. Who would be more clingy?

oh yeah,, definitely yukhei,, im the annoying one hes the clingy one,, he just seems like the type to always wanna cuddle and hold hands and i am NOT complaining

14. One thing you want them to know?

wow. 1) im proud of him,, i am proud that he made his dreams come true and he deserves to have pride in his stagename 2) its okay to take breaks,, to be nervous,, to stutter, to be tired, to be loud,, he's a human and deserves to be treated as such 3) me and thousands of others love him more than words possible bc of his personality not his looks 4) he has the cutest smile and laugh ughhh just perfection 5) im waiting for him to come cuff my lonely ass ✊😔

15. Who falls asleep first on facetime?

hmmmmmm,,, i believe we would often fall asleep on each other bc i know my babe has to be tired alot so i wouldn't mind if he fell asleep but my ass also gets hella sleepy otp and ill be damned if i hang up first so maybe a little war between us??? who knows im an andriod user

16. Places you’d like to go with them?

Thailand or Hong Kong! he has very sweet stories abt there and i would just love to see him smile and show me all the places that he loved and some cute memories behind it,, just imagining it makes me so happy,, i would show him around my place but u know Florida aint got sht

wow this took me forever and now im soft™

im gonna tag: @capablee-mark @lucasthiccthighs @cocojisung @gilded-angel @etherealparkjisung @marketlee @pork-jisungie 💞💕💓

💫 even if i didnt tag u and you wanna do it? go ahead boo ✊ and if i did tag you and u dont wanna ?? dont,, just do you u babes sorry im tired dhhscjskfk 💫

[maiverie]

hellooo mai !! here is my update hehe^^ i'll try to send messages more often but i don't rlly have that much to talk abt but i'll still try !!

i got my manifesto day 1 album but i didnt get sunghoon weverse pob :(( its ok cuz my pulls for the actual album were so good?? anyways i got jay in the uniform pob and hee in the other (they look saurr good) and my pulls were absolutely insane i got my entire bias line??? i got jake for the postcard and jungwon and sunghoon for the pcs ?!?!?! i was so surprised i got so lucky,,,

i tried getting another border carnival album but they didnt have hype ver :(( the guy at the store said everyone always goes for that ver so i got dimension dilemma instead and i'm pretty sure i have a sunoo curse (not complaining though) i was in a rush so i accidentally got the wrong ver but its not a big deal lmao

i got two sunoo pcs and i got niki for the poster ! so as of rn i have at 5 sunoo pcs (damn), 2 hee pcs, and one for everyone except jake (jake pls come home) but if i count the other things in albums then i've got members !

and my barista course was fun !! it was rlly stressful at the beginning cuz they kept feeding us lots of information in the beginning but the second part of the class was more chill and we did a bunch of stuff like fudge and latte art,,, i tasted one of my coffees and it surprisingly tasted good ? i genuinely thought it was gonna taste like absolute shit lmaoo the instructors complimented my first latte and my milk frothing so ig i found a hidden talent hehe

as of rn im listening to jungwon's live, i rlly hope the members rest well and get well soon !! they were so excited to promote paradoxxx invasion esp jay but they got covid so :((( but jungwon is genuinely one of the sweetest ppl on earth bc he kept reassuring engenes that they're all fine and he's even on live for us ( genuinely sobbing i love him so much)

also apparently we're getting actor hoon soon !! he'll be a cameo in the drama mimicus (?) which they sung an unreleased ost for !! 02z's names were mentioned but hoon's the only one confirmed as a cameo,,, saur excited to see actor hoon !!

since we both live in aus, im guessing its evening where you are? so i hope you had a very very great day today and you rest and sleep well !! i slept for 12 hours tday cuz i was so tired,, anyways hope you are well !! lots of love and take care <33

-- sunrise anon

OMGGG HI SUNRISE ANON MY FAVE <3333 nooo omg pls don't feel obligated or anything, though im always here to chat if u need!! <3

AAA CONGRATS ON PULLING UR BIAS LINE!!! that's so good al;kjfiwe i really wanted more jungwon pcs so congrats on getting him :(( YES TOTALLY AGREE the pob pcs are literally sosososo nice they look so good in their lil uniforms :< im obsessed w the pcs this cb fr T^T

ALSO AAA WOW REALLY??? i don't actually have any of the border carnival albums so thank u for the heads up </3 also omg SAME i swear i'm always pulling sunoo HHASHDJS ALTHOUGH ITS OKAY SINCE ALL HIS PCS ARE >>>

:00 NIKI POSTER??? THATS SO GOOD AA also omg im gna come over and rob u for those hee pcs hHSDJSDJ WATCH OUT SLEEP TIGHT

ALSO OMGGGG UR BARISTA COURSE AAA im sosoos happy to hear that u had fun!! omg new hidden skill unlocked?? plss not them complimenting u on ur coffee :< that's so cute i wanna try a course one day now :(( i'm a really big fan of coffee so laksjdf sounds like you had sm fun!!

JUNGWON WAS LIVE FOR 4 HOURS??? PLSS i love that boy so so much :(( i swear he has sm love for all his fans and even tho he must have been super bored w quarantine and all,,, i actually feel so touched that he was live for so long T^T he treats us so well im sobbing i love him sm. also!! who's ur bias btw??

YESS ACTOR HOON I HEARD!!! IM SAUR EXCITEDDDD like that's so cool,,, i honestly dont know what to expect but im really excited nevertheless hehe. aLSO O2Z?? STOP???? JAY IN A DRAMA?? JAKE??? IM SCREAMINGWE

omg 12 hours deserved!! i've been having pretty decent days, just super busy lately!! hope you've been safe n well <33 it's been raining a bit where i am so 😭

lots of love <33333

[belovedcherie]

I posted 498 times in 2022

That's 498 more posts than 2021!

94 posts created (19%)

404 posts reblogged (81%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@luymani

@pcktknife

@tizzymcwizzy

@belovedcherie (lol its me)

@buggachat

I tagged 497 of my posts in 2022

#art - 137 posts

#reblog - 128 posts

#fav!!! - 101 posts

#cherie's chats - 69 posts

#miraculous ladybug - 64 posts

#project sekai - 56 posts

#cherie watches stuff! - 30 posts

#cherie's aesthetic - 21 posts

#spy x family - 20 posts

#splatoon - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#if i had a penny for everytime we were worried bakugou died i'd have 2 pennies which isnt a lot but its concerning that it happened twice..

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

THAT TEASER IS GOING TO PUT ME IN A DAMN COMA

9 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#4

thoughts on multiplication

bc i need to scream about this SOMEWHERE. LIKE WOW. OKAY.

obviously spoilers are under the cut !!

tld;r: yelling abt adrien and WHAT ARE EVERYONES INTENTIONS??

ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE

yes im gonna yell about this first because adrienette holds my HEART YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THEY R EVERYTHING TO ME </3

ive been waiting for adrien to pin for marinette in canon for so long and season 3 def delivered with the little stares he was giving her BUT NOW THAT ITS FRFR HAPPENING?? HIS BLUSH WHEN HE LOOKS AT HER IN THE MORNING? HIM IMMEDIATELY CALLING HER UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO TELL HER HOW SPECIAL SHE IS? SOBBING

okay but the fact that he probs tried to kiss her every. day. we only saw 3 sequences but if that montage happened over the span of several weeks..... i am swooning. i am in tears. shambles.

adrien had me KICKING MY FEET AND RUNNING LAPS OKAY I HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMESSDHFK

that being said before i write an essay on light of my life adrien lets talk abt,,,

reverse love square??

i love the idea of reverse love square bc adrien being a lovesick fool for marinette is my aesthetic but iM JUST HJDGSFSGKF BC OF THE TIMINGG

i was kinda hoping for some sudden rapid development today but im not complaining at all dw 🙏🏾 simp-drien is enough

the ladynoir moments are real cute tho :( them playing cards im cryingsdjhs

im excited to see the ship dynamic in the future episodes heheheh

GABRIEL. AGRESTE.

this man becomes more of a loser every episode what else is there to say

him digitalizing adrien.... funny... not funny haha...funny weird....

i hate when this guy gets smarter cuz he always has some wack trick up his sleeve 😔 but i wanna know more abt those weird siri rings

ALSO HOW DOES TOMOE PLAY IN THIS?? i think she knows hes hawkmoth but why is she helping him?? ik they were leading up to their partnership before so i guess we'll finally see why they were so secretive in the past!!

lie-la

i was gonna talk abt her in the gabriel point but this girl is so annoying she deserves one for herself

SHE GETS ON MY LAST NERVEEE

the genuine irritation i feel whenever i see her character on screen is actually funny

"ladybugs just a kid we need to forgive her ;(" GIRL I HOPE PARIS CAN FORGIVE U FOR THE CRIMES YOU'VE COMMITTED??

im sorry theres nothing productive to say abt her other than the fact that it seems shes going to play a bigger role this season (sadly) (but also yay cuz she brings the spice)

okay last point is abt felix

HELP WHEN HE APPEARED AT THE END 💀💀 THIS GUY WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME????

i hope and PRAY he treats dusuu well homegirls been going through it D:

WHAT. ARE. HIS. INTENTIONS.

See the full post

11 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

#3

i saw miraculous was trending and i was like OMG IS THERE FINALLY A NEW SEASON 5 EP?? but it was just beau 😭

12 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#2

HI so um. back in 2020 kade made this meme thing and i dont think ive ever recovered from it bc I WAS SO TOUCHED LIKE 🙁 NOBODYS EVER MADE ME A MEME BEFORE

since we started talking again a month (+ a day bc i am late) ago i had the idea to make him one in return bc TALKING TO U MAKES ME SO HAPPY AND U DESERVE THE WORLD !!!

sooo here ya go @luymani ILYSM!! happy one month anniversary /p (that sounded way funnier in my head im so sorry LMAO)

13 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

thinking abt my son syaoran li ♡

See the full post

27 notes - Posted July 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hulkhulkenberg]

what is the new f1 graphics? by hulkhulkenberg

idk i just felt like complaining abt this because wtf

read under the cut 

(sorry for some of the pictures, theyre diy taken off the tv)

LIVE SPEED

the new “live speed” thing, what ??? WHERES the old gear/speed/mode graphic at?? it actually showed it all. 

we had it back in china but its the only time weve seen it this year and i miss it

it just made rly good sense?? instead of just watching the speed

talking about missing the old speed graphic, wtf is this?? as a youtube comment said, the sponsors on the halo wont be too happy about this

the amount of driver pictures why does liberty media think we need to know what the drivers look like? i wanna die over all this unnecessary use of driver pictures

(this one is kinda cool, i like that they wrote “driver in danger” but is it rly that important to see his face??)

i get this but also?? what ?? 

the new font do we need to speak abt this that much?? i just hate this weird font man

the wheel turn graphic literally the weirdest graphic ever.. i dont get this??

is this really necessary?? im so confused why do i ned to know that verstappen is turning his wheel 45 degrees clockwise

team logos on the driver board instead of the tyres HONESTLY this confuses me so ?? much ?? why did liberty think that showing the teams logos would be useful? we want to see the tyres but look what we’re left with !!

we get this ?? is it a try to make it more obvious whos teammates? bc lets not forget when we got this mESS  the use of team logos is too much man they use it everywhere but they also still have that line of colour (williams white, sfi is pink etc) and they STILL need to show team mates in 67 different ways??

was this also a try to make it more obvious whos teammates?? bc all i get is a lot of numbers? knowing that they wanted the graphics to make it easier for new watchers to understand, this doesnt make sense ? (read under)

“We have this fictitious idea of a 22-year-old person who is not an F1 fan but who has a friend who is an avid friend and tells him to watch [a race],' explained Bratches. 'So when that person tunes in, we want them to understand what is going on.”

we want tyres on the board !! (thats litro what you use... not all that other fancy stuff)

the new steward notif why is it in the top? and write it in a full sentence instead of that !! 

idk to me it just doesnt make that much sense to need to do this than just write a sentence abt it

when theres a safety car they put the lap nr on the bottom youre lying if you think this makes sense,i dont get why they didnt incorporate the lap nr in the safety car graphic instead of having to put it at the bottom??

“52 km to go” (i lost my picture with 52 km to go whoops)

but SINCE when did f1 count down in kilometres?? i get the amount of laps they drive is equal to like 200-300 km but still ??

is this even necessary lmao i just wanna see the amount of laps, that makes more sense for me ??

when theres a winner they somehow didnt consider that the driver picture covers the title “winner” how did they not notice?? is this intentional?? it also happens with driver of the day. we get you’re trying to show who won but this doesnt make sense 

Honorable mentions:

what is this? honestly someone tell me bc i dont get it

this is actually p cool, i like the way they show with the line how far around the track he is. nice job liberty.

what also deserves a mention is that they wanted to position the onboard cameras rly low so you really could “feel the speed” and then this happened

i LOVE only seeing a halo thanks :* (thank god they changed this)

also this new pitstop thing idk how i feel about it

[littlebabycrybtch]

ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.

[hyatt-death]

i just finished reading the newest chapter of soulmates and all the baggage that follows that and first of all ur writing is really good imo and the themes in it hit really hard for me i said this in a comment before but i just know that i wont regret reading this by the time its done bc ur treating it like it should be (i tried to write abt some stuff to cope but i just keep fucking that up so i know that its hard to write as good as u do) and i know that in the end it will be worth it (1/2)

(2/2) i think even if there's not gonna be a happy ending its still gonna be satisfying  i just had to reach out to you to say thank you for writing this and thank you for doing it so well (also u said in ur notes u dont want ppl to read it, if it triggers them so i wanted to assure u that while it does hit deep its not triggering to me)  i wish you all the best with your home situation and if you wanna talk abt atla or anything else really, im there - hope that doesnt come off weird

im so glad your ok! i really worry about people reading my fic and being triggered and like im glad your ok but please do note even after the seige of the north(which is next chapter btw!) its still gonna have some real rough spots in it so please take good care of yourself! ill make sure i put a trigger warning list before the chapter like i have been and if i ever miss a tw just messege me or comment and ill add it imidietly i really hope the happy ending is good enough to deal with all the pain im forcing everyone through but i promise i never ever do angst without a nice happy ending! like even azula will have a nice happy ending cuz like shes 14 and she deserves a happy ending after all the abuse ozai did. also! if it makes you feel better to write some stuff to cope there isnt any problom with that even if your writting isnt the best! alot of my older fics arent good! im a rambler and i get lost alot and like im amazed people arent complaining about how im writing this one but you know what you just dont care you still write it cuz youll get better and youll feel better!

[yyxgin]

my mum always calls them my ‘korean cartoons’ but it’s understandable bc she’s usually wiped out by the afternoon (she’s up v early AM to go to work so by PM she just wants to sleep) and i mean i watch kdramas so at least she’s got one thing right. better than chinese tv (which is what my dad used to call it before he learned his friends daughter also watches kdrama and anime 🥰 WIN for me tbh 😋

i forgot to watch the movies 😅 but i’m not at work tomorrow so i’ll definitely watch them tonight 🙂 at least one. bro,, today, my goodness lemme,, oh my god. they insist on feeding me before i leave (i am NOT complaining) and today my manager ordered prezzo for herself (italian cuisine) and she was begging me to take some of her pizza home w me even though she’d literally just watched me eat the thai food and one of the chefs brought krispy kreme w her after getting some food supplies and she told me to take one i get fed SO good i’m gonna die if i don’t work there for the rest of my life honestly!! and the food runner made thai tea from scratch (which i’ve only ever had instant bc i thought it would be nice one time and now i live off it) i’m gonna combust i’m living my dream life fr 😫🙏🙏

i can not see myself working anywhere else at this point,, although i’m sad that some of the staff are going to uni in october since i would’ve spent the a few months forming relationships w them by that point 😭 but it’s gucci im gonna love it honestly.

my manager told me why she hired me and i just... yeah she made me sound so good. i’m pleased. wow i love it. i’m rambling now... do you have any pets? or are you allergic? i feel like i haven’t come across someone who’s allergic and will soon. maybe that’s just me being weird 😳

oh wait i forgot!! i love that jaehyun is such an anti-y/n. nctzens are wild to me and honestly i feel like it sucks sometimes bc it just depends really on their mood. like for mark he’s worn out anyway (pro debuter ™️) and it sucks i suppose. i reckon if the audience was younger they wouldn’t be so worn out or looking like they didn’t wanna be there. personally i always act more enthusiastic for younger kids but they’re idols and they’re probably just thinking ‘we’re people just like you’ god idk what i’m saying anymore i hope that made sense! my brain is rotting on the bus ride home.

i hope you had a good day today 🥺 ~ 🌻

my parents are kind of xenophobic tbh but i'm tired of arguing with them,,but nowadays they just call them "my korean boys" which doesn't sound as bad compared to what they used to call them before <3

ooh i hope you had a relaxing day 😎 you deserve it after working so hard !! YOUR COWORKERS SOUND LIKE ANGELS ON EARTH OMG THEY FEED YOU ??? FOR FREE ??? i want coworkers like that. dude i really hope my coworkers will be nice and that i'll get on with them bc if not i will cry😔 YOUR WORKS SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM PLS NEVER QUIT IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. what did your boss tell you ?? why did she hire you?

i do not have any pets😔 but like,,i dont mind. i'm that kind of person that gets bored of things really easily and i wouldnt want to do that to an animal?? like thats fucked up. i wanted a fish because they're fairly easy to take care of but i figured that i'd probably be a bad fish mum so i just yk,,,didnt get it (also my mum said no). my grandma has a dog that i call my own tho bc i brought it to her house and fed it and was the one who let him shit on their property for the first time so its pretty much mine <3 i also have a feeling that i'm his favorite one so🥰🥰 he is tiny and angy and lowkey kind of a not so good boy but thats okay we love him nonetheless. he is sick tho so im worried abt him😔 what about you ?? do you have any pets ?? (also your intuition was bad i am not allergic djsnsm)

yeaah i get what you're saying with the nct fan situation,,but at the same time i actually think they dont mind as much ?? like mark (he is so tired i bet) literally talks like he's besties w the international fans on fancalls sometimes (when he gets the normal fans) and yangyang called us his besties 😭✋ its that sometimes it can get too much.

i had a good day today !! i hope you had one as well🥺